#ive never been able to be normal abt this musical

[stopaskingmetocreateanaccount]

just got to see sweeney todd on broadway! i’m so normal! :) (BITING AND BITING AND BITING AND BITING AND BITING AND

[silverislander]

hm. don't think about it too hard or you'll never sleep a wink at night again don't worry about me and these green eyes mama just know that i love you (and i'll see you when you get here). etc etc

[urbestestwindgod]

epic the musical sagas 1-7 song rating tw i have bad taste

1. keep your friends close—this shouldnt be a shocker this was the song that after knowing abt epic but noy having tiktok at the time to be able to see its progress n stuff i didnt know much abt it n listening to the songs out of order was confusing but the moment i hesrd this enchanting melody i was a fan fan downloading tiktok just for the updates from jorge this has been my unbeatable favorite for a while im rlly annoying abt it as we know

2. open arms—the first released song i heard that introduced me to epic and again not knowing much abt it or how to listen to it in order in the early days (fun fact my intelligence peaked in algebra and ive never been that smart abt anything else ever) seeing ppl talk abt polities not knowing he died was kinda scary like wdym this cutie goes to “the wrong club”?? :(

3. suffering—its fun n ody gets to talk to his wife what do u want from me

4. scylla—AHHHHHHHHHH i fold over and seize every time those strings start after the “hello”

5. ruthlessness—like the idea of poseidon man handling him what can i say WHAT DO YOU W A N T from meee

6. wouldnt you like—i would i would

7. remember them—hes so dumb i lovw him

8. lucky runs out—if iii wasnt overstimulated rn i could gather my thoughts and explain this but unfortunately i am a student

9. storm—this and luck runs out are twins in my head and heart

10. polyphemus—THATS MY CYCLOPS!!! HELL YEA!!!

11. legendary—very good, love how telemachus sings like an adolescent love his dreams and love him unfortunately it IS in the same saga as….her

12. little wolf—I THOUGHT WE WOULD ALL AHIP HIM AND ANTINOUS AFTER THIS AONG BC THERES TENSION GUYS I SWEAR WDYM ITS CONTROVERSIAL :(

13. no longer you—if i could dance i would dance to this, with air probably but still

14. full speed ahead—need this song spoonfed to me while i bang on the table like a toddler in a highchair

15. the horse and the infant—NEOPTOLEMUS MENTIONED??? AHHH!!!!

16. different beast—lovely lovely lovely his voice is so

17. survive—oooo uhhhh

18. mutiny—it shocks me every time somehow

19. monster—should be higher but i forgor abt it srry—yeayea great song kick my feet to it wvery tim

20. warrior of the mind—greek son and thought daughter (was funnier in my head)

21. my goodbye—she leaved :(

22. puppeteer—if circe (odyssey) didnt plague my view of circe (epic) i would like her songs more sorry guys

23. done for—is it baaaaadddd that i dont have many thoughts on this :(

24.there are other ways—IM SURE THERE ARE CIRCE IM SURE THERE ARE

25. thunder bringer—again this was meant to be higher but i was gonna put it somewhere special and forgor :(

26. the underworld—oh ouch ouch ouch ouchie ouch

27. god games—THE SNIPPET OF THIS WAS THE FIRST EPIC SONG I EVER HEARD AND KICKSTARTED A GREEK MYTHOLOGY PHASE THAT MY FAMILY WILL NEVER FORGIVE JORGE FOR. apollos part was so short tho 😔 sigh…

28. just a man—I LIKE IT I JUST NEVER REMEMBER IT AGHHHHH I LOVE IT THO I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR

29. we’ll be fine—OMFGOMFGOMFG unfortunately it is right before….yeaaaa

30. love in paradise—OH EWEWEWEWEWEW i would like this a lot more if people didnt act like calypso deserved to feel happiness or joy or pleasure or even life? idn where this unbridled hatred for her comes from i dont feel this way about way worse characters BUT I WANT EVERY DEATH IN THE ILIAD DONE TO CALYPSO FIVE TIMES EACH CALYPSO WHEN I CATCH UR ASS—its not even about odysseus anymore ody get in the car mama has business to attend to WHEN IM NOT SORRY FOR LOVING U COMES OUT I WILL SHAKE MY HEAD IN DISAPPOINTMENT AND and gently and discreetly remove it from my epic playlist :3 i block everyone i see who talks positively about her genuinely she ruins my day. i know shes not real but still the concept of her makes me physically shake in anger sometimes in the middle of my perfectly normal day SHE SUCKS I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH dont ask me why i dont know why but just just put me in a room with her and every weapon ever ever made that would be wish fulfillment for me

saga rating is ocean, thunder, cyclops, troy, underworld, circe, wisdom (and depending on how im not sorry for loving u goes justr know vengeance is going in eighth)

anyways uhm im a little manic this week but i hope i didnt make u hate me TOO much with this i am aware that my taste in everything is bad my favorite food is plain butterless angel hair noodles ans my favorite drink is water, my favorite color is green, my favorite animal is probably frogs bc most animals give me the heebie jeebies, and my favorite book is frankenstein thanks for being here i love u :3

[alluralater]

opinion on the renee rapp/fletcher/ethel cain/hayley kiyoko genre of music?

i like girls and i would say that i enjoy the largest array of music but ive never been able to find myself able to get behind the hype generated by that specific genre ? like both the lyrics and melodies seem bland

kinda just comes across as conditioning oneself when i hear abt friends going out of their way to insert themselves into social media communities surrounding these artists and occupying their free time with discourse around who u wanna kiss. it seems forced as in why cant we like girls casually without the 50lbs of baggage and would that even be the case w/o the baggage

cultivating a minority group that struggles to exist outside of the internet and within the public sphere, if you will

i wish i could tell u that i was high when i wrote this to dispel some of the terrible reception im expecting but noo these are organic thoughts that have been pressing my mind and i don't rly have anywhere else to put them :')

fight/entertain/accept me on this!

let’s do this <3

i personally don’t really care for renee rapp. like not because she’s not talented and cool but literally just because her songs were overplayed to me and it’s a huge thing for me if someone listens to the same thing over and over and over i build up this weird repulsion to it and end up getting icked out whenever i hear it. so she is cool as fuck but i don’t listen to her stuff. i like fletcher in a way but both of these artists are kinda just the white gay trending artist templates rn, like i don’t personally find them to be intriguing. ethel cain doesn’t really fit in this group i think since she’s like folk (right??) and these other people are pop/indie but her stuff doesn’t really get me either so it’s cool. hayleyyyyy my love. i love her. i think she makes really good music but its been a bit since any bangers. hayley makes the music for the gays that remember what it was like before gay marriage started to become legalized in the us. her music is really sweet and buzzing with baby gay energy even though she’s an experienced gay.

what i tend to notice about people who listen to fletcher and renee rapp like a LOT is that they also pretty much only listen to other white trending artists as well. the lack of melody and variety in lyrics comes down to the fact that all of these artists are in the exact same niche— white x queer x woman x gen z pop/indie. i’ve heard both fletcher and renee rapp have fantastic stage presence and their shows are supposedly amazing so regardless, they’re still dishing out a show worth watching and i like that.

you can build an entire community around one small interest and people will invest their time and energy and care into whatever that interest is. they feel connected to the topic as well as each other, which is a whole huge conversation i could get into about lack of third spaces in the irl world today and by extension the decline in irl music communities but i’m sleepy so we’ll skip that. i think stan culture is oftentimes what that gets around to (did that sentence make sense?? my eyelids are falling)

btw girls can’t be normal about kissing girls because there is excitement in journeying the paths you didnt know you could take. we relive that feeling each time we have opportunity or desire to kiss other sapphics. it’s panic and thrill and nervousness and glowing miraculous enchantment with the idea of being able to enjoy someone freely and wildly and without men, which is a concept many of us have to drag ourselves away from. kissing other girls is like a repeating shout of liberation yk?? plus it’s super hot ;) okay i am falling asleep though so nighty night <3

[whataphantasia]

ugh ok that poll i reblogged made me listen to UUFO again and i didnt realize it's been like a few months since i listened to it in full FKKEDN (ok this got long so it's under a cut now)

every song ive just been going "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG" DJAKDJEK IM NORMAL IM NORMAL

i know its cringe to like a camellia album this much but uufo is like. a culmination of a LOT of the things i like, and all of camellias experience leading up to that point yk.. and so much love and effort went into it from so many different people.. auuuughhh

every part of the album comes together... i LOVE albums with a theme and this one is PARANORMAL OCCURENCES and URBAN LEGENDS and shit ITS EVERYTHING I LOVE!! the different pieces of album art... ufo girl... wauuuu wauuuu cries sobs

idc if its uncritical and cringe to love every song i do what i want. i dont rly care abt if a song is structurally good as long as it makes me happy it goes hard (and all of them make me happy)

the website.. so pretty...

ok im gonna go to bed after doinf this but heres a few tracks i want to ramble abt (i wish i could do all of the tracks but i wont (FOR NOW...))

for the longest time buzzbox was my favorite song LOL. it was one of my first songs on the album and the russian bass/hardcore mix is just SO good. idk why i liked it so much honestly, its not rly what i LISTEN to yk. i have a fond memory of making my geometry teacher listen to it in 10th grade and she never let me pick a class song again. SHE LIKED EDM TOO I THOUGHT SHE'D GET IT </33

obviously ghoul is amazing. no notes. everyone loves that song.

OOPARTS IS A BONUS TRACK ON THIS ALBUM. OOPARTS. OF COURSE IT'S GOOD

speaking of the muzzle facing.. god idk. the melodic metal undertones. i LOVE a big variety in musical textures and this song just SCRATCHES my DAMN BRAIN. the part where it goes *metal guitar riff* *oingo boingo ass scratching noises* ANDJWJDJEJD IM NORMAL (at 1:37)

POLYBIUS GB IS SO GOOD. the way every section of the song builds on eachother AUGH. the final drop with the chiptune/extratone. CAMELLIA AND HIS EXTRATONEY FINAL DROPS ARE SO GOOD WAUUU WAAAA

a lot of what i feel abt polybius gb ALSO applies to final blenderman!!!! except final blenderman has WAYY more electric guitar YEAHHHH!! camellia final drops. the shift from rock guitar to chiptune melody, and an extratoneish finale,, reminds me a bit of million pp actually? haha. it miiiight be my favorite song? it outranked buzzbox a while ago but tbh this place might be slipping for like, the muzzle facing.

i actually didnt like myths you forgot as much as the other tracks when i first listened to it.. idk why? maybe bc it was a little slower? past me has no taste bc this track is so layered. and good. thanks toby fox

artcore is usually an "eh, its good" for me (i have a lot of artcore i enjoy, like fallen symphony) but #1f1e33 is different.. just felt like pointing it out (esp since this album has a longer version of it) like! i never felt BORED! every section builds! and has interesting auditory textures! lol. ig thats how u keep my attention (not that "being boring" is inherently bad ofc)

i have really fond memories of listening to microwave-proof cat in like, 10th/9th grade... sighh that song is so fun. the main melody's texture is just so bouncy. kisses it.

OKAY. DAMN. its 3. i need to go to bed. i'd love to continue rambling abt this though. maybe later.

as of right now my favorite camellia song (outside of this album) is parallel universe shifter :3c yeah, like, his most recent 7 minute song. of course its good. idk just.. it has all the things i like in it. i'd love to be able to one day make music like this song specifically. but point is, it has all of my favorite musical things.. in it. idk how to explain it. the name too. its super personal to me LOL. and the references and callbacks in the song. so tasty

ig another 8+ track edm album i like is also good evening hollowood... can you tell i love paranormal/halloween themed albums. JK LOL the songs in that album have nothing to do with that. while im talking abt t+pazolite i like ponko2 girlish too.. maybe ill dedicate a post to that if i get bored.

OK FOR REAL NOW ILL STOP. BYE

[saitolover]

✨ cat plays … hatoful boyfriend! ✨

okay so i went and followed my random urge to play hatoful boyfriend just bc i wanted to.. so here i am writing down my thoughts on it all bc it’s a bit late & i doubt i’ll be able to finish it after finding out how long the bbl route takes 🫢

anyways yes! i binged played for at least 4 and a half hours now and finished everyone’s route & all, am currently in the bbl route and finished the 4th class - after finding out there were 8 classes total (thanks google) i decided to sleep lmao. so onto my short thoughts on each route ig (pls bear in mind that ive been playing the game for hours straight & have been binge-speed reading it like crazy)

📌 kawara ryouta

the very first route i did (followed a guide & pretty much did them numerically). we love this “childhood” friend who also was rlly sweet lmao, getting the ending where he talked abt his mom was actually very sad :,( lowkey funny how mc and him casually talk abt dating as human/bird but also sad bc ryouta was worried about being the one who died first and leaving her alone oml. overall a sweet bird (but now im sus of him in bbl route)

📌 sakuya le bel shirogane

so he was the normal “noble” and “high and mighty, i am too high class for you all” type of BIRD lmao, but it was refreshing to see him turn out to want to seek out his own future in music after his family/father rejected him from originally doing it all. also got lowkey mad at this route bc i had to do both the normal and true endings to continue on to get the bbl route lmao

📌 fujishiro nageki

first route where i got genuinely shocked about learning that nageki was actually a ghost like ??? hello ??? it all made sense too & now it’s great to hear how he’s becoming a main part of the plot in bbl route especially with him actually dying from a fire in the basement of an old hall instead of his original story like??? either i was reading too fast or there’s something else that nageki is forgetting… 🤨 ALSO he literally never got to tell mc the secret at the end of his route. WHAT IS THE SECRET (shaking him)

📌 sakazaki yuuya

originally thought his route would branch off sakuya’s or smth but it never did. also a route that began to get kinda weird and i was like. okay we got the dove and hawk party… getting closer to the true plot here hm. anyways i became very invested in yuuya’s investigations and whenever he would try to see what shuu was up to. especially the way they were literally after him multiple times throughout the plot - with they being the hawk party??? damn okay i cannot remember well anymore but i do remember he had to hide from spies and stuff 💀 oml i cant believe they tried to just kill/shoot him multiple times like… anyways. lots of interesting stuff going on in this bird’s route and a lot of the times im like. :0 just shocked.

📌 okosan

now we get on to a more silly route (unless being a great pudding god / being ??? will become a big plot twist or something in bbl route). still remember smashing the beans on the ground with san. idk what else to say about this route except that it was a more lighthearted break after what happened in yuuya’s route lmao

📌 nanaki kazuaki

idk why but i expected kazuaki to be more involved with what was going on with the dove & hawk parties, especially with the cryptic things he’s being saying to shuu throughout his route like??? don’t tell me the love one you lost is involved with what’s going on with the school rn or with the two parties or with the humans…. anyways. pretty chill route save for the fact that shuu locks mc into a storage room 💀 can’t remember much else though

📌 iwamine shuu

woooow. wow wow wow. did not expect a route to go like that. and have an ending like that. lowkey got scared when all the choices were “yes” when shuu asked if mc loved him. also cant believe mc just got murdered like that after shuu casually admitted to killing a bunch of students/birds. also let’s not forget the fact that he sent mc yuuya cooked up so she could eat him i… there is So Much to unpack from this route and honestly am still in shock/disbelief over everything that happened in it bc like… what???? in the world.

📌 higure anghel

no cap i was INSANELY confused for like 90% of this route and honestly it was the funniest and dumbest route that ive played so far 😭 why did that all happen. why does anghel speak like that. love that he’s apparently a filipino bird #pinoypride. but pls the way there was even the boss fight at the end. ICANT this route was perfect

📌 koshiba azami

we love the girlboss… birdboss? of these couple of endings. dunno what else to say except azami is an icon for this entire game and yes i make the rules here

📌 bbl route

okay. there is a lot to unpack and a lot of thoughts and some prediction i have to make about this route so far. once i finish writing everything i remember/want to note, ill probably move to update this post after i complete each following class. okay let’s get started

first off. i was so scared when i found out that mc died ,,, bc the story was being pretty normal and all save for the occasional text boxes between some days. also bc im playing at like 2 in the morning and it’s pitch black around me & dead silent. anyways.

it was nice to see the story in ryouta’s pov, interestingly we’ll be learning more about his relationship with mc and how they grew up together? (hopefully???) as the story goes on… now i forget there are birds on my screen as i get rlly into the story now lmao.

i REALLY wonder what is the thing that ryouta is forgetting?? that both shuu AND nageki have been bringing up like… also why does shuu have to be like that and say “yeah just go along, don’t use your brain, you’ll find it all out eventually” cmon bro. also sus bc why did ryouta lie about going straight home the evening mc was killed… why is your memory getting spotty. don’t tell me you’re gonna end up killing other birds and that you did something to mc in the first place without realizing (kinda doubt this theory tho imo)

i found it super interesting to hear more about the world hatoful boyfriend takes place in, actually. like, learning more about the parties & the pandemic & the role that humans and birds both take in this world was interesting to read, especially with what was going on with the school & how school rep mc’s death would be completed blamed onto the school, known for being more accepting of co-living… makes me wonder if it’s been planned from the very beginning?? since birth or something?? for mc to go to this school and die in this school?? what does the fire in the basement have to do with this?? why did the stairs to it get sealed off?? lots of questions that i cant wait to hear answered…

hatoful boyfriend & the way it’s actually “hurtful” boyfriend, not “heartful” boyfriend was wild 💀 especially with the way the text box’s little “hatoful boyfriend” text changed to “hurtful boyfriend” instead - yeah i got kinda spooked again. idk wonder if there’s gonna be a fourth wall breaking or smth in this,,, trying to think how the phrase “hurtful boyfriend” ties into all this, and also about all the hatoful documents and stuff all around the school…

where tf did that scarecrow thing even come from. also literally cant believe the principal has been dead and someone created/edited that video like a year ago. why is shuu and yuuya lying and being sus - does this have to do with their parties?? also cant believe how humans are pretty much preparing to kill all the birds in the school like ??? that hatch too oml

okay i think that’s all i have to say for now…? it’s 3 am and i have to wake up soon… so ill hopefully be updating this more again next time

...

and next time has arrived. ill be dumping what i had written throughout the rest of my playthrough. :,)

IM.... the screentime of yuuya and sakuya made me so happy bc ive always wondered if their short story lines/routes would talk more about their familial relationship but it rarely really touched on it... and now i am literally so heartbroken right now. WHY. (head in hands) i dont know what else to say about yuuya's final moments and the real story behind these two brothers ,,, except for the fact that i am actually going to cry wtf yuuya's death NOT DESERVED pls now i feel so bad for doubting him earlier TT

why is the doctor so. you know. ??? dunno have to even describe it??? how is he involved with everything. why did he say that hes the one who got anghel to go to this school(?). it feels too obvious for him to be the mastermind or anything yknow but TT idk the way hes just involved in everything makes me want to shake him. how are you involved with ALL OF THIS. why and how are you controlling the scarecrow thing??? does this scarecrow thing have to do with previous/dead students??? what if nageki's ghost is involved with this??? i feel like this scarecrow has smth more to do with this...

also some other little things: i love seeing ryouta and sakuya acting as a duo. who was the third bird?? involved?? im trying to think... it's got to be someone that both yuuya and shuu would be fine with working with and making a deal with... unless they were threatened??? but idk i feel like shuu is not the kind of bird to get threatened TT still tryna think... i feel like its got to be one of the main birds/routes???

and those are my thoughts for the 5th class (that i remembered - typed this up as soon as i finished it!)

wow so the 6th class went by so fast - unless i was just reading it super quickly... ive probably said this a million times now but I AM IN SO MUCH SHOCK??? my eyes were wide open when i was reading all that nageki remembered... and his past and the experiments that they did on him. PLEASE HELP this lil bird who's been through too much ;;;;;; does this mean that all the main birds??? well, i feel like all the main student birds - were somehow being experimented on or developed to become a weapon to humans?? is this the reason why the doctor had nageki's files in his desk? was sakuya's files also in it bc he knew of his past or bc he was also planning to do an experiment on him? has ryouta been experimented on bc of the multiple & several amount of times hes had to go to the infirmiary due to his weak stomach?? okay but wait... what if his weak stomach was a result of the experiments shuu has done on him or smth... i am so Scared. and Shocked. so many questions that are about to get answered very soon. what does the fire have to do with this???

okay, i HAVE to read the 7th class now.

OH NO. oops - sorry if ive been messing up the dove and hawk parties' ideologies i cant remember which one was actually FOR coexisting with humans and who are not,,,

NOOOOOOOOO. NOOOOOO. NO. why do all of these birds have all of these backstories. I KNEW THE DOCTOR HAD MORE TO HIM BUT PLS. i didnt think he would be ryouta's father's biggest admirer from the background like. we see you slowly warming up to him. i see that you never got to tell him your feelings. HEY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. anyways. the way he wanted shuu to grant a wish of ryouta which is what lead him all the way here. i am Mad and Sad. smad??? uh. YOU DID ALL OF THIS,,,,, i, do not know what to say anymore.

mc's brain being in the little scarecrow. wow. i had a feeling there would be more to the scarecrow but didnt expect to hear about another experiment going on, esp with how it involved human brains TT

also pls not @ shuu gaslighting ryouta ,,, IT ISNT YOUR FAULT ,,, you were literally drugged for the past year and then had to watch your childhood friend just. die. bc you were being experimented on all along. I KNEW THE WEAK STOMACH THING WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS. but not in such a heartbreaking way.

UGH there is so much thats been happening and now my memory is like a goldfish and i just really want to read the 8th class now. but it has been such a Wild Roller Coaster these last few classes

  uhhm. okay i just finsihed the game and. the first thing i want to say that everything that happened has Blown me away. like. everything from this entire route. Everything. i think ill need some time tonight to just lay down and let everything marinate & i'll write a proper conclusion about the game afterwards.   for now: my thoughts on the 8th chapter and the "epilogue" of the game. so thats why kazuaki had the scribbled out photo... the way hes been haunted by his shadow of guilt - which i like to see it... TT i wonder, if everytime he fell asleep, he would think back to the days he had with nageki, or to think about blaming himself for everything?? agh

the way that mc's parents attempting to be mediators at the hatoful house and how it tied to shuu approaching mc and ryouta... how it had involved both kazuaki and nageki. wow. ALSO its so cool how i now reread over the archive files from the main menu and i pretty much can accurately tell what each file is referring to, or who is the one who wrote each file.

i am still in shock. who wouldve known a bird dating sim would this to all happen.

also, same at sakuya wasting his mourning on yuuya - i was literally mourning too like TT why did you have to fake die like that man. AND THE FACT THAT RYOUTA WANTED TO SEE HIS MOM but he couldnt bc he didnt want to bring any death to the humans... who knows how long hes been waiting for everyone with mc's brain and nageki. what if he doesnt wake up. im literally so heartbroken bc in his route, his mother passed after being so sick in the hospital, and now im worried bc what if he never gets to see her again. he literally worked so hard to support her all the time and loved her sm ,,,,,

theres def a lot of things that are slipping from my mind as im writing this (im sorry). its like my brain stopped working and now im so sad about everything thats happened.

was the spirit that nageki talking to in the library before mc??? was she also participating in the little boss fight against brainwashed ryouta??? ugh i need to know more. what if i just replayed the entire game to see all the little things referring back to the truth behind the school and the past of the main birds. haha just kidding... unless??? i want to play the sequel now too... well. for now, time to be sad. i now love this entire game and all of these birds to pieces. (also ive decided. im going to replay the entire game because i can and because i need to)

i word vommit whatever i want and unconsciously create the most random hcs / questions sorry if i say the most random shit or smth in this 😭 also sorry not sorry i like my little hcs and i hope maybe theyre neat too

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[dedeuteros]

Ouuhh wait i forgot i wanted to blab last week. Last ever season of ballroom dancing or whatever we do </3 First dance was last week, had another one tonight. Its so weird bc its like lolzies i just do this sometimes for funzies . But this is my 7th year hot damn. I cant recognize more than maybe 4 dances by name, but i suppose im well aquatinted with the moves at this point. Liikkeee its truly wild watching 6th graders coming for their very first dance clueless beyond measure knowing nothing. Like whaaaatt you dont know how to stand in a circle????? (Actually, i dont blame them its a lot to take in, but theres a point where i cant tap a pair for the 10th time telling them to turn 45 degrees . Like babes ur doing great but why are u standing like . Its like this - - - / - -?? Bc if there were more space it might not be a problem but if the direction is a basic forward then eventually they start running into peoples sides while the group is stepping straight in and out of thebcircle.) anyways.

Like i know i didnt know which foot i was on was important until liiikee my 4th or 5th year. Hypocrite that i am lol. But also im not surprised bc trying to explain to kids which foot is never pleasant. If theyre confused theyre usually confused beyond saving and u just gotta shrug ur shoulders together and go. Yeah we’ll be fine go get em tiger. (Unrelated i wish line breaks werent so massive holy shit)

So super fun. Being afab in this location. I dont mind dresses et cetera, love them generally, but the lack of freedom in what i can wear is ehhhh. I usually just, dont think abt it bc i like dancing anyways and im too distracted by counting out the steps. BUT! usually the ratio of girls to boys in older groups is not so even, so instead of lettingvthe kids dance among themselves we (junior helpers) have to deploy the full set of ourselves to dance as gentlemen (much to the dismay of the guys in my age group who would rather not dance at all, despite .. where we are) so yours truly, liking to dance as often as i can, gets to be a funny little man in a dress for the night! Im always nervous for the parents who might be snooty abt their daughters dancing with “another girl” but the girls themselves seem fine. One real lovely lady was even so kind as to tell me my hands were far less sweaty than most guys <3 (not true but I appreciate it)

The age (7yr) old issue is that in these dances the “gentleman is the leader” so given they know the dance (often do not) and have the confidence (a handful do not hide how much theyd rather be somewhere else) they would lead and ladies should follow (“even if hes wrong” which i would call bullshit on if i wasnt messing up the same amount). SO since they lead, the steps are such called for them. To begin teaching most dances, the director also calls for the girls but after a while ur expected to either know or be able to follow. I’m pretty practiced in my left and right and their reversal. Tldr: ive learned absolutely everything completely backwards so even if the director calls basic left, I automatically move right.

Trans and masc girl wins in the house this year!!! Its been a mess to some degree, since both wear suits/ vests. Ive been called over a few times to fill in bc “two boys are dancing together” and just had to tuen my ass back around. Ladies wear gloves <3 at least at their lvl, im ant to start bopping my boys on the head if they keep doing that. BUT i havent talked to one of them. But. The smaller lady was having trouble so i was trying to help out and stay near (bc even tho i hate the dress code, i do understand that its easier to have less confusion in switch partner dances if theyre all dressed distinctly “girl” or “boy” . We had no small amount of confusion tonight) uhhhbb uhh. O yea i was just sticking with her and making sure the partner switching wasnt getting messed up and . Idk just generally making sure she was getting help when she seemed confused. Normally i feel awful being hovery when a pair keeps messing up and i correct them bc i know they dont understand my correction anyways and they feel bad for being singled out. But im fucking cryng. She said thank u for helping :^(( no one ever ever says that and ive been helping for like 3 years. Made me so so happy i hope shes well

OUUHHHG TONIGHT WE DID THE TANGO!!! not rlly The Tango. A terrible childrens edition cannibalized version of the tango </3 i dont think ive done it in YEARS???!$& but its one of my favorites!! Got to do it with two groups!! So not only twice, but also different guys . One of them was better, but one of them was also not an 8th grader . I think. We actually had an 8th grader filling in since my helper group has gotten smaller over the years. Anyways i LOVE when we do like. The waltz and the tango bc they have, for what i assume is every year since i started, played the same shitty ass busch gardens ass royalty free music. I CANNOT take it seriously . Ouhhh but also since one of the groups that tango ed was older, it was a few more steps. The variety that keeps me awake after nearly 6 hrs.

Anyways i could talk abt this a lot more but eye am SO sleepy so if i remember I’ll probably jus add onto this tomorrow <3 bc idk its kinda geeky and not impressive to most ppl so i dont get to talk abt the lil details but its been ALMOST 7 YEARS!!! I have a lot to say!!!

[trunkzbriefs]

Any Son and/or Briefs family headcanons? Spicy hot takes? Truths Toriyama and Toyotaro themselves can not handle? Straight up lies?

GODDAMN SORRY this took a while cause i suck at putting thoughts together. i apologize for my obvious briefs bias i have more hcs for them than the son family despite loving them both :pensive: anyway heres some random stuff

briefs hcs:

all of the briefs are pros at non-verbal communication. i hc that saiyans have their own language (and also in my own Mind Canon they still have their fuckin tails) and a lot of it is done through tail movement/body posture/grunts/etc. etc so theyve all sort of picked that up. even bulma, who doesnt have a tail, is pretty good at getting across what she means without actually speaking. they still do speak normally but it comes in handy sometimes considering that both trunks and vegeta are prone to running out of speaking energy or getting very frustrated with words, so having another way to communicate works very well for them

vegeta is fffffffffffffffffffurry. without getting too deep into my own General Saiyan hcs (thats why i made a whole ass four subspecies!!) i think that the entirety of planet vegeta tended to be very hot aside from the part where the castle was, where the temperature would drop. meaning that saiyans working in the palace would grow thicker fur around certain parts of their body, and in the royal saiyans theyd be Especially fluffy. he kept it down on earth, but he has thick patches of fur around the bottom parts of his arms and legs. kind of like snowy boots and gloves! he also has fur that grows in on his neck like a lions mane.

future trunks is an actions sponge, vegeta is a words sponge. vegeta will pick up words VERY quickly regardless if he fully understands the meaning of it or not (completely inspired by 'THATS RIGHT BOYS... MONDO COOL' in z) and future trunks will unintentionally mimic the actions of people - around people he looks up to he might take a few small mannerisms from but this extends to copying the disposition of anyone; he's just very adaptive. this is the most obvious (and funniest) when he's around vegeta bc it really shows like. yeah damn that sure is vegeta's son

vegeta & bulla have an intimidating bastard smirk naturally. their natural smiles are pretty frightening and they have to put effort into a 'normal' one. this also extends to current trunks, his default smile is the Vegeta Bastard Smirk but he learned to have a normal smile quicker than his father and sister. future trunks has a slightly unnerving natural smile (the fact that his pupils are always drawn so fucking small makes me hc that he just has a very intimidating look of 'cat thats about to pounce on an unfortunate trapped mouse' whenever he smiles) but he learned to look normal even quicker than current trunks since he's around humans a Lot and is sort of their uh, Hope. don't want to look scary to the people who depend on you!

bulma has some fighting knowledge and mildly good ki control. vegeta taught her it as a just in case so that she'd be able to defend herself against Bigger threats if he wasn't there and also so she could raise her own ki to alert someone to her if she had to.

vegeta is extremely clean and can not stand to have things disorganized for more than like... an hour before he has to tidy everything up. every time he goes down to the lab and bulma is passed out in a pile of bolts and circuit boards it kills him inside just a little bit

future trunks has little concept of power control. since his timeline was always in danger it wasn't really an important thing for him to learn. the amount of mugs he's accidentally crushed is impressive

vegeta tends to not sound like he's asking questions when he is. he doesn't add the proper infliction to the end of his questions and just sounds flat most of the time. it's confusing to people who dont know him well.

im not even gonna lie, im a BIG fan of the chill demon panchy headcanon so i love the idea that the briefs have a Lil bit of demon in them but just dont know it ghjnkm

[banging my fists on the 'hcs that not even got could take away from me' table] future trunks has OCD

vegeta doesn't really get labels but he's bisexual & "debatably a man", bulma is bisexal & bigender transfem (sometimes shes Wamen and other times its like "gender? no"), bulla is a nonbinary lesbian, current trunks is a bisexual trans man & future bulma forgot to explain the concept of gender and sexuality to future trunks so he's a little confused on that front and his gender & sexuality are "i have literally never thought abt these concepts in my life but i think men are nice. i refuse to think about gender though" (i actually have two main hcs for future trunks which are either gay trans man or more-feminine-presenting nonbinary bisexual)

son hcs:

goku is Not as fluffy as vegeta at all, but he does have fur on certain parts of his body. namely on the back of his elbows + ankles, down his back connecting to his tail, and on his shoulders. its inherented from gine!

gohan is learning saiyan language from vegeta! vegeta acts grumpy about it but he's glad to have someone to teach. when gohan learned that most of the history had been lost he basically wished shenron for a big ol book on saiyan culture and gave it to vegeta just as an act of kindness and vegeta was like [in an angry voice but very touched] "Ok. Sit down. You're learning." by extension gohan is also teaching the rest of his family!

i will take ox king being actually non-human to my grave so like, chichi has horns and a very short ox tail! gohan and goten both have horns, but they're hidden by hair. goten's horns are bigger than gohans.

goten also has a more ox-like tail, with a little puff of fur at the end. generally, gohan looks more saiyan-like and goten looks more ox/human-like.

although he keeps up his cheery demeanor very well, goku is still haunted pretty badly by like... everything that’s happened in his life. he still has frequent nightmares about cell & buu specifically.

gohan will freak out at worse, zone out at best, if he's even tapped on the neck. it reminds him of the whole 'getting his neck snapped on namek' so that area is pretty off limits to everyone

goten gets along really well with android 17. they both have a love for nature and 17s kind of like his chill uncle, so whenever he gets too stressed out or just needs a break you can find him face down on the ground outside of 17's place on monster island.

goku is really really good at remembering completely random shit. bulma uses this to her advantage whenever she's working and has him memorize random technology stuff. a week later goku can not remember what he had for breakfast that morning but as soon as bulma asks "hey do you remember what i told you last week" hes like "oh yeah sure i have no idea what it means but [blurts out three hours worth of technical garble]"

oh boy is this a headcanon that has a lot more depth to it than just a bullet on a tumblr post, but gohan has DID!

goku, like vegeta, doesnt get labels either, and does not even Try, ask him about any of it and hes like "i dont get the gender thing but i think lots of people look nice :)" gohan is gay and like vegeta, "debatably a man", goten + chichi are both bi nonbinary, & pan is a lesbian trans woman.

both:

bulla and pan are both into music! i think theyd mess around making their own stuff w/ launchpads

i have a general hc of ki mixing or shielding, essentially, if youre close enough to someone people wont be able to tell apart your ki and you can also 'shield' someone with your ki for a small amount of time. if vegeta has his energy low, his and bulma's energy are the same. same thing with goku and chichi! goten and trunks are near impossible to tell apart, and same thing with gohan and videl.

though goten and trunks are both protective over their younger siblings, gotenks is that protectiveness times a thousand. look at bulla or pan wrong for 2 seconds and you're going to have an angry gotenks in your face asking if you have any last words. i like to think that trunks and goten fused casually a lot, especially around the time where bulla and pan were young, so its basically goten and trunks own attachment to them PLUS gotenks' attachment to them as his own person combined.

i like to pretend end of z did not happen the way it did so uub, using nimbus, travels back and forth a lot. goku isn’t the only one who teaches him how to fight as goten, gohan and trunks all think of him like a little brother and love training with him!

fuck you letters to toriyama/toyotaro hot takes:

cell, as cool of a villian as he is, definitely should have had a creepier final form. or multiple- just something that really drives in the fact that he's made up of other's dna & fuckin ABSORBS people. also his first two forms should have had a different absorbtion method other than the tail thing (not the drinking thing thats fine) it just feels.   Weird. not good

it would have been far more interesting to keep the bitter attitude towards vegeta that future trunks had imo... in super trunks was going through a Lot granted but the fact tht he wasnt more confrontational to vegeta being a dick to him seemed kind of off considering his attitude in z i just.. think it would be interesting and far better if they had more of a back and forth 'family but lowkey hate each other' relationship

i dont want to rant about super so heres some super condensed takes, goku black arc specific because thats 90% of what ive seen of super:

mai is a fucking freak ass weirdo, why did they not just make another character to pair with trunks

trunks not flipping the fuck out at his timeline being erased feels... out of character. also trunks deserved the win against zamasu

future bulma did NOT need to die

trunks should have just stayed in the current timeline

please fucking let trunks and goten grow up. we SAW a version of trunks who looked 14 (history of trunks....) and the versions of goten & trunks we have r/n in super do not look 13/14 respectively what in the goddamn hell is going on in the character design department

super definitely should have taken place later down the line

supers version of bulma and videl look awful. why are they That stick like.

vegeta needs to kill frieza. just once.

fu has enough potential to be a very interesting mainline character and i am so sad he's not

i would actively enjoy a sdbh anime with more  budget that isnt just a promo anime and has a plot that makes sense... i think db should have more wild spinoffs

xenoverse deserved a better story that went FULL in on the 'what if' type of timelines- like they did in raging blast which is a FUCKING GREAT GAME

straight up lies:

dragon ball z is a good series

[dearreputation]

hiiiii!!!

so i decided to do a little 16 facts about me before i turn 17 kinda thing!!!! i got inspired by taylors “30 things i’ve learned before turning 30” article so hehehe here’s my little ~twist~ on it!!!! ♡

one. i was born in france!

yes!!! little ~fun fact~ abt me is that i was born in paris france & speak fluent french!!! people find that SO COOL & i just find it normal?!?? it’s so weird hahaha!!! but miss swift taught me how to speak english w/ her music, articles, shows, etc! so thank you t <3

two. i love nyc!

nyc is my second home!!!! i’ve been there 3 times & lucky enough to be going again later this month to celebrate my birthday (dec. 28) & nyd!!! release week was my favorite thing ever & ive been missing the city so much since. i love the lights & how the city never sleeps! i also love hamilton & dear evan hansen and would love to see those two shows one day! taylor if you wanna hang out when i’m there i’m free.... hahahah jk. unless.....

three. hobbies!

i love painting!!! i haven’t been able to in a while because of school but it’s so fun & relaxing! i also LOVE listening to music! i ofc love taylor but i do also LOVE conan gray!!! he is a small artist and he is AMAZING! he loves taylor also & is the cutest little cowboy! i also love watching greys anatomy & criminal minds! those shows are my favorite shows to ever exist!

four. pets!

i have 2 pets! one dog & one cat! my dogs name is jack & hes a cockapoo!!! literally the love of my life <3 my cats name is missy & she’s a rescue! we don’t really know what breed she is but she’s adorable. she loves to snuggle!!!

five. dislikes....

this might surprise you but i’m THAT person that doesn’t like chocolate, pasta, gum, mints, or bananas. it’s weird i know. also, i haven’t touched a banana in over 5 years.

six. i LOVE the cold!

i love when the weather is cold & it’s snowing! living in florida, i never get to experience that so ya... i’m that person pt. 2. i just love wearing comfy clothes & seeing the snow fall!!! i hâte the heat. pretty ironic.

seven. sports!

i’m a HUGE football fan! my favorite team is the new england patriots (my dads from boston 😎)!!! i also used to do gymnastics! i’m not really good anymore though...

eight. color!

i love how the title of this is just “color.” anyways, it’s white. i don’t care if you say it’s a shade. if white is a shade then pink is too.

nine. favorite movie!

i recently have watched the martian (you know, the one where taylor said she cried in her 73 question interview? ya that) in chem and AHHHH so good!!!!! so right now, that movie :).

ten. christmassssss!!!

i LOVE christmas & all the decorations!!!! the vibes & the baking and EVERYTHING IS SO FUN!!! my favorite christmas song is christmas tree farm. thank you taylor i’m hooked on it. funny thing is i’ve never had a gingerbread cookie or decorated a gingerbread house....

eleven. height!!

i’m 4’10 believe it or not...... yes i know i’m little tiny.

twelve. foooooood!!!!!

i love FOOD (who doesn’t??) i love cooking & baking also hehehe!!! i don’t really have a favorite food but i do love myself a really good burger & fries or pizza ORRR a caesar salad!!!

thirteen. taylor!

i discovered taylor when i had just moved to the states in 2009 & ever since have been by her! from begging my mom to go to the fearless tour to going to the speak now tour in fort lauderdale to watching the red livestream thinking i could videocall taylor to crying in my room for hours because i couldn’t attend both red and 1989 tours to attending both rep tour miami & nola to flying to nyc to watch her perform at gma to looking forward to lover fest east nights 1&2 (that was a LOT of “to’s”), she & her music has always been there for me and i cant say thank you enough. from interacting with us online to meeting us, i don’t know anyone more generous and inspiring as her. she’s brought me my best friends. love u t!!!

fourteen. acting!

sometimes i like to act out scenarios in my head like if i was in a movie... i actually would love to star in a movie or tv show but idk if i’m a good actress. still a dream :))

fifteen. love life! (eeekkkk!!)

i’ve never been in a relationship or have had my first kiss so!!! still looking for maybe that special someone?!? just the idea of cute date nights & little random presents is so so cute (i’ve heard they are a LOT of work though.....) maybe one day i’ll find my romeo 💌

sixteen. themes!?

i didn’t really know what to title this ?!?!? but..... i love crime shows & and puzzles & doing all the detective work thingys! reading crime novels or old cases is SO FUN! i find that the most interesting thing in the world and could get lost in the world of criminology. i’m all into forensics and AHHHH ya i’m a nerd shhhhhhh....

bonus: seventeen. what i’m looking forward to @ 17.....

new decade & last year before being an adult. crazy how time flies. i really want to start focusing on myself more. i’ve always put others before me and although that is a sweet thing to do (so i’ve heard), it’s also important to find myself in a comfortable position prior to helping others. finding myself first is the key element. i also want to be a lot kinder to my body, myself, and others.

16 years of craziness & memories. so excited to create new ones in this new decade and age.

love,

elena 💌👼🏻☁️

[tfw-no-tennis]

hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika?????? 

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic 

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst 

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey 

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now 

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack...  satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest 

KILLUA ;_; 

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD 

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me 

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole 

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_; 

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general 

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently 

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu 

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^( 

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique? 

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse 

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh 

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down 

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents 

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh 

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead 

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion 

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect 

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS: 

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e 

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao 

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao 

as for this upcoming arc -  ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially 

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao

[vaguelygeiszlerian]

1 to 50

ok i just saw this existed, i live on tumblr mobile where i ignore the activity tab and scroll endlessly, bear w me

Animated character that was your gay awakening? uhhhhhhh,,,....,,,.. if i remembered anything abt my childhood i would tell u, im gonna say rukia from bleach because i want gorgeous short people to step on me

Grilled cheese or PB&J? peanut butter Always... tho if it was a fancy grilled cheese (there is a special preparation).... i would be torn

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? it really depends! i bounce around, i watch a lot of baumgartner restorations, i watch a LOT of nyx fears video essays on horror movies i would never watch, i watch longplays of, like, nier automata bc im still delighted by cryaotic?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? i dont really get to order a lot of drinks at bars, itll depend, if im with friends ill order as many things off the cocktail menu as my money allows, if im with my parents ill order long island iced teas or whiskey and lemonade

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i literally own like 3 pairs of shoes, one of which being the only pair i can actually safely wear haha.... but my favorite pair is the black red and gold converse that dont fit anymore but still remind me of high school

Top three cuisines? mexican, italian, whomever the fuck invented kasoundi

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? yeah as said above i have no clue about anything about my childhood so idk i think mum said once that my first proper word was just ‘no’ which sounds abt right

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? idk if my last job counts? i mean i used to do all round garden labor stuff until my pain got worse and i literally couldnt anymore so i got relegated to desk work

Look up. What’s directly across from you? oh a container of pesto i didnt like the flavour of and just... forgot to throw out.... i will do that tomorrow

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a rwby poster signed by ray and jack? its p cool

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? preferred right now? wrapped in a metric fuckton of blankets w my partner

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i..... dont like bagels

Brunch or midnight snacks? i live a weirdly scheduled life, midnight snacks and brunch are interchangeable to me now, so both

Favorite mug you own i..... dont really have one? all of my actual mugs that are mine have my deadname on them haha

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? overbrewed black coffee that someone left to go cold before dumping six packs of sugar in

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ‘ And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me ‘ bc we all love a bit of mitski when we are feeling the self isolation creeping in

Fruity or herbal teas? fruity teas only! or rather i drink fruit tisanes! but if you mean actual tea then herbal, i only drink peppermint tea

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? fruits basket! everyone watch the reboot

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? all the books i read for class sucked but medea wasnt so bad

Do you match your socks? only when theyre very fun patterned socks, and even then sometimes i will match them to the wrong pair but the same pattern, aka my double watermelon combo (i have a pair of green socks w watermelons and a pair of black socks w watermelons so)

Have you ever been horseback riding? no and i never will because i am fucking terrified of horses

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) uh.... uh i mean im not sure if it counts as a phase but i was stupid into vampires (to the point of me and my friends constructing the intricate theory that our teacher was a vampire and we had to kill her by the time we graduated (she was not and we did not and i hate all of those people now) i was just the weird conspiracy kid i guess, we used to spend every lunch staring across the oval at a house we were SURE an alien lived in (it was just a plastic bag being rustled by a fan)

Have you ever been to jail? bkdnbrb god no

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? im a lazy susan

Puzzles? i cant solve a rubiks cube but give me a 2000 piece jigsaw and ill sit there for 6 hours trying to solve it

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? oh this is tough..... orange juice, the fancy kind but with no bits in it, i used to like the bits but these days i just want a clean juice experience

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? ,,,,,,the ya fiction section, i never buy anything from there but i like to see if series i read as a teenager ever got new instalments after i stopped liking them

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? how to sleep like a normal person

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? uh, it depends! lizzo or my playlist of musicals! (which is literally just starkid/tcb stuff)

Where could someone find you in a museum? i could literally be anywhere, probably in front of some old piece though, just staring for an hour bc im struck by the majesty of it (and my legs probably locked up so i couldnt move anyway)

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? so i have a nice white button up and some really nice jeans i just got, and my suspenders, and my cool blue heels that i know i cant wear bc my legs cant handle walking in heels anymore, but it would look cool am i right

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? i look up at my roof which is almost entirely covered in glow in the dark stars and then stare into the camera (i wish every day that my roof was like the roof of the healthy harold van, i still have fucking dreams of that beautiful ceiling)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? non traditional? id want a lizard that could curl round my shoulders like a leathery scarf

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i dont have any photos on my wall so art by default

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i just want the pensive emoji tattooed in the small of my back so if i wear a crop top everyone has to suffer with me

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with fuck superheroes they suck, can i hang out with jason todd red hood style

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? oceans, i want to go to the beach so fucking bad

Favorite mid-2000s song i dont really have a Big Favorite but like..... i constantly thank god for esteban

How do you dress when you’re home alone? ive been in the same sweatpants and old paint shirt i got from my painting and decorating course for three days

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? armchair closest to the kitchen, perfect to make a quick escape if dad comes in

Knives or swords? knives, i dont have the upper body strength for swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving? oh uh run away with me by crj, *bwoooooooo buhnuhnuuuuuu buhnuhnuuuuuhhh buhnuhnuuuuhhhhh*

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY CERTAIN PARTS FROM EACH OF THEM BC COLLECTIVELY THEY SUCK BUT PARTS OF THEM ARE PERFECT

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? no caption i dont want people to really acknowledge that i post things

Name a classic Vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQds9PQ7CA

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? hash browns hash browns hash browns ONLY

How do you top your ice cream? god its been so long since ive been able to eat ice cream.... with the reeses peanut butter ice cream shell topping

Do you like Jello? jelly is the pinnacle of our society and i wish i were eating it right now

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? i wish i had a picture of myself and my partner so i could set it as my phone lock screen (that or i wish i had a picture of me and a friend i really dearly miss bc i have pics of her in my phone but not of us together and i want some but i cant bring myself to say so)

How are you at climbing trees? theres a tree in my front yard i used to be able to hang off but nowadays i think id hurt myself just trying to lift my nasty meat sack off the ground trying

[judesave]

helo it is me nai bk again w chara #2. i hd jude at the old lockwood some of u may remember him he is? frankly my pride n joy n like the only male chara i’ve ever been able to properly stick w. here is his muse tag n here is his pinterest board if ur into tht stuff. gna just dive in bc its 8am n i still haven’t slept rip!

( nai. 22. gmt. she/her. ) it might be HIS JUNIOR year but I still think JUDE HAYWARD looks exactly like DOUGLAS BOOTH and sometimes I think the CIS-MALE is actually them. Of course I’m wrong, as they’re 23 and studying ARTwhile living in POTENTAS here at Lockwood. The PISCES can be rather WITTY and PROTECTIVE, but also kind of RUDE and DETACHED. Their most played song on Spotify was ASLEEP by THE SMITHS, so I think that says a lot.

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t super abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans

they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a rly successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of them were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit, especially kerouac, n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Jude

personality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b. he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a lot bt isn’t particularly fond of actual Dates except in rare cases, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he tries to pretend. pretty deadpan humour most of the time. luvs strange ppl tht keep him on his toes

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot. he also... smokes a lot fr the sake of his depression bc HOO boy does he hav it bad! he’s tried a bunch of medications n none have rly worked bt u kno. he’s surviving

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges along that Dramatic model jawline. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

[noecat]

tumblr crushes challenge!

in which you post your own favorite blogs to spread positivity and get your amazing blogger-friends some more followers!

tagged by @kizunah (im lov u) n @hazelnatcoffee (ive not stopped sobbing since i saw u tag me aksdjf thank u sm <3) !! ✨✨✨

aksdjf normally i dont even do these but im takin th opportunity to scream abt how much i lov mariam so !! :D enjoy

ive tagged @kizunah, @hazelnatcoffee, @hinamie, @sftae, @geminest, @belovedsheith, @phoapostrophes, @gansaey, @hcseokie, @dotingdamen, @kattenprinsen and non-mutual but very admired @d-a-z-a-i and @novocaine-sea​!! (also the ultimate tumblr crush otasucc whomst im not tagging bc im scared)

i will yell abt these ppl and how much i lov them under cut so as to avoid a 50 page long post :’D 💕

mariam @kizunah: iv no idea how u managed to go from ‘vaguely intimidating incredibly talented writer i look up to’ to ‘incredibly talented writer i look up to tht sends me memes at 3am and has made me fall in lov w two (2) soft pining bois’ so fast but.....u did tht......now our chat is th first thing i check when i wake up in th morning it’s the Start To My Day i hope u r happy..... follow mariam for solid pastel aesthetic and hauntingly beautiful writing tht will give u heartbreak by proxy !! 💕

grayson @hazelnatcoffee: i am tagging u Right Back bc,,,solid tumblr crush material,,,,on one hand i am rly honored u follow this mess, on the other hand im just !! u are such a talented writer !! and such a talented artist ??? ur ability to communicate sof sheith feels in both mediums to such devastating effect slays me 10/10 a Must Follow 💕

hina @hinamie: u kno how kurapika was like. ‘when im in this mode im a master of every single nen category’ ?? thts u. except thts u all th time. killer sense of humor and an incredible (understatement...) artist and so pretty i cld die and flawless taste in memes and th capacity to create OCs tht snatch my heart n soul n wig all in one (very basardous) move?? thts u!! how do u do that!! thank u sm for not judging me for thirsting after clowns n also ,,, a must-follow 4 anyone who likes quality 💕

pauline @sftae: i know you’re on hiatus now and thus unlikely to see this anytime soon,,,,,, but it wld feel Wrong to make any kind of crushes post without mentioning u, resident itachi lover, whomse made me laugh sm and gave me some of the probably Best conversations ive had on this site....im so sorry for stealing ur husband (it was Deserved) and i hope u are doing good out there off this hellsite (note how i didnt even mention the fact tht u are a creator yet bc i was too busy crying abt how much i lov talking to u but !! holy shit u also make Quality Content and im both crying and intimidated how is every mutual i have so talented at making things) 💕

nastya @geminest​: bi russian solidarity & prettiest pinkest pastel blog in the universe?? a whole music Genius whomse is fluent in multiple languages?? im going 2 stop typing now bc i Know i wont b able to stop after just one paragraph so im sorry tht this is going to b so short but,,,,,,,,th most quality Soft Kpop blog n distinguished iu stan, thts u 💕

mei @belovedsheith: the sweetest most positive talented writer in th vld fandom?? u!! your blog is an oasis in the sea of drama and discourse that is tumblr generally, and i really admire the compassion you show everyone and your dedication to only giving love back even when people are undeservedly rude or condescending. it takes a lot of strength to do that and i just *clenches fist* rly adore your personality and humility (esp given how you’re scarily good with words and also ur theme....god tier) 💕

pho @phoapostrophes: aksdjf it’s really .... been a while .,,.. since we talked on a personal lvl, but!! anytime i see you on my dash i get rly excited because you always reblog the best things, the best memes and the best literary things and the funniest comics...,, your sense of humor is on point and i dont know where you manage to curate such Quality Content from but im rly living for it !! 💕

nicki @gansaey​: thank u sm,,,,4 watering my crops,,,,feeding me tht good good trc food,,,,no lie i follow like maybe two (2) trc blogs n life is a whole struggle, and also!! i adore your aesthetic, and how it’s perfectly coherent from your theme to your posts...n also i love your avatar and your creations !! :’’D u have a rly rly strong sense of The Ae and tht glows in everything u put out  💕

mia @hcseokie​: hello cowboy basard whats up it’s me n i ,,,, lov u,,,,,possibly th hottest prettiest person on this hellsite w an incredible personality 2 match,,,,you have a killer sense of humour and are a really sweet person to talk to, and i really really wish you all the best and brightest things in the universe!! a tumblr crushes post isnt complete without u :’’)  💕

eve @dotingdamen​: we only talked like once which is an whole federal crime in my opinion askdjf but !! most treasured most quality yoi/captive prince/astrology mutual,,,, mostly i am very intimidated bc you look ethereal and also your writing like. im not even in those fandoms anymore but am i going to go and reread everything th moment i finish typing up this monster of a post?? u bet!! 💕

taavi @kattenprinsen​: father i am very sorry for disappointing u w frightening regularity,,,,i still rmbr when u first followed me and i screamed bc tht was like the ultimate Senpai Noticed Me moment??? honestly tht senpai-noticed-me feeling never rly faded and tht makes u the perfect candidate for a tumblr crushes post :’’’) you could probably create an entire universe w words alone--and do--n ur Powerfully Aesthetic Aesthetic makes my kokoro go doki doki,, i hope i become more like u someday!! 💕

chris @d-a-z-a-i​: kasjf the Very First blog i found after i one-shotted the entire bsd anime and was left crying over dazai,,, pretty much 90% of the best anime content i see on my dash is either reblogged from u or reblogged by u so thank u fr the food!! :’’D 💕

aja @novocaine-sea​: u once left a comment on my shitty jjbek crackfic and thts probably the most accomplished ive ever felt in my life ever,,, like it might sound cheesy but it’s one of those little moments ill carry w me forever on my writing journey? being complimented by someone as talented as you really stuck w me;; tht said, im going to go binge read your entire hq/free! tag at soonest opportunity :’’’) the things you write are 1000% up my alley nd im so ready!! 💕

lia otasucc: an inspiring person on all levels; someone ive been following since the early (yoi) days and who has not once since then been anything less than the brightest light in the fandom. i dont even go here, but im very glad you exist and motivate everyone around you to be better people as well :’D words r hard and the way you flawlessly wield yours, be it in spicy memes or cutting sarcasm, is both terrifying and moving,,, we are all lucky to have u!! 💕

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS

hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D

im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!

evan: 

isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this

evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)

soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)

i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes

jared:

jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that

not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right? 

can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.

arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.

zoe:

not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor

a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.

very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!

very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.

thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too

alana:

smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.

probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.

dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?

very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.

connor:

we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better 

artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)

very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)

to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.

honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes​! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)

OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask

jeremy:

anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.

jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).

which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head). 

im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him

extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids. 

that last part was just a PSA for ppl.

lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.

honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.

michael

not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.

a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-

okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this! 

imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.

just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.

sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy. 

like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3

christine

chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good

loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?

very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao

very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal

writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.

but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.

jake

god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character

he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.

sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.

a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing

he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge

i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.

rich

GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.

squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.

post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip

a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)

rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read. 

great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck” 

would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.

chloe

chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.

casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”

so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu

has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.

i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such. 

yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.

brooke

more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)

very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.

imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse

emotional, imo. fairly feminine.

its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry

jenna

not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot

probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere

bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.

thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...

very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.

probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.

[epiphanyksj]

TELL ME ABT JK DURING UR CONCERT IN LA !!!!!! HE LOVES LA N U DIDNT TELL ME ABT IT IN DETAIL !!!!!!💞💕💖💓

oh god :(((( HHH!!!!!! ok im literally gonna go through this event by event. so I WALKED INTO THE ARENA with my friend to go find my seat and there’s a moment of silence before the beginning of danger’s mv begins playing. and up on the screen is jungkook playing outro: propose, that really pretty dramatic piano part. and let me tell you i literally burst into tears AT THAT MOMENT because it was just so overwhelming to realize that i was actually there and going to see them. and then there was the vcr and they all looked. So Good! i literally said “oh my god” so many times during the concert it was unreal i mean ive told you about this but yeah on to actual performances (read more)

so all this fire starts torching into the air and the stage lights are flashing everywhere with this dramatic music with heavy drums (think mama 2016 fire-esque). ok so im rewatching the vid i took as i write this and im laughing because everyone else is like “TRAADE OFF” and from me you just hear this hysterical “CHOO CHOO” OK thats not the point. i could barely focus in the first performance because i could not believe they were real but like he’s GORGEOUS they were all so gorgeous n i wanna gush about the others too but this is a jk ask. he is So Stable and powerful i dont know how he even does it. so after they finish performing they begin their ments…. when it goes to jk he kinda looks up like “:o its my turn” but then he goes “WASSUP” and he’s so sos ofuckginfg pretty he glows and his eyes and just his face at that point i screamed “I LOVE YOU… (weakly) jungoo….” and then he also said LONG TIME NO SEE he has the cutest voice :(.

when he starts singing in save me… his voice is so beautiful. and i already said it but his dancing is so powerful. n the way he looks at the camera… you feel it in your soul. and his voice is so good in im fine!!!!!! i was not, in fact, fine. the part where he falls to the floor then suddenly looks up is so intense.

but incredibly he looks absolutely ethereal when he stands and sings. this might sound weird but like…. the way his eyes are half closed is so pretty and he looks at peace. even more so when he closes his eyes all the way. ive said it so many times but his eyes literally are so captivating. all of bts look unbelievably good in person. also there’s supposed to be a fanchant In Magic Shop During The Instrumental Break But Nobody Did It but i faithfully went through all the way anyway.

n then. THE GOLDEN DUO VCR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre so cuuuteekjsdhdskjfh :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( like it was just such a happy pure colorful lighthearted vcr!!!!!

ok not to be cheesy but i literally got goosebumps and started tearing up when i heard his voice say “euphoria” in the silence. the pretty guitars start coming in and he’s revealed on the stage. he looks so at home when he sings it and there’s golden light all around him and he’s smiling. but when it’s not the chorus the lights are a blue color and it reminds me of the ocean in the music video. he really puts so much into his singing and just his overall performance. and when he does the high note in euphoria and the golden confetti explodes into the air and shimmers in the lights.

he puts his hand to chest often when he sings like he’s feeling it in his soul. but he also jams out really cutely! he jumped around during run a lot (and yet is ridiculously stable still) and his hair is bouncy! he headbanged a little too :( at the end of run during hoseok’s part he took out his earpiece to listen to us. his part in dna with tae is so iconic!!! rapper jk!!!!!!!!! literally even just the way he sings “DNA”!!!!

he asked us if we were having fun!!!! babie :( (side note tae is SOO cute when he talks in english). also the army bomb ocean was so pretty it was a range of colors from yellow green to purple and it was this amazing gradient.

then. Then. 21st century girls. Came On. but i need to save this gushing about the song itself for the next ask. all of them gather together to jam out in the center of the stage! afterwards jk wanders around! YOU SAY YES OR NO YES OR NO WOOAAAHOHHH

this goes for everyone else too but when he sings in gogo its like the words are just rolling out of his mouth if that makes sense.

but the transition to bst. unreal but im also saving that for the next ask. god and i keep talking about jk’s dancing but seriously him and the entirety of dance line are a serious force to be reckoned with. his voice when he sings his parts is so light and fluttery.

you shouldve heard me during his rap part of boy in luv. i was like “APPAAAAAAA” “EOMMAAAAAA” “PYEONJIIII” “MWONJIII” like i think those technically aren’t his lines but that whole section. and they cut straight to the bridge instead of doing the second verse and jk’s voice there especially combined with jimin and jin. and he holds the high note!!!!!!!

but his rap part in danger. hard fucking core. he’s so talented it’s unbelievable. this man does not hesitate when it comes to bangers or when it comes to headbanging.

airplane pt2. he saunters onto the stage like nobody’s business and sits and kicks back on that damn chair with his sultry ass voice. his falsetto is gorgeous when they do that part before hoseok’s airplane rap and at the end of the song. and i know it’s only part of the studio recording but when he does the “ah ah” part i lose my mind. the way he sits with the other members surrounding him just emanates this air of power and regality but almost in a casual way like “yeah we’re royalty, what about it?”

his outfit during fake love is perfect. all of the outfits are so good i could gush about them all day but alas this is a jk ask. his sleeves are see-through and he has shiny chains going across his chest harness and i’m sure you could find pictures of it but i hadn’t looked at concert pics beforehand so i was in shock at how good the outfits were. it’s like some performing beast is unleashed from jungkook during fake love. he’s absolutely in the zone and i couldn’t take my eyes off him because his presence is so strong especially when he’s in the center. it’s like he moves his body and projects his voice perfectly to the flow and energy of the song. fake love as a whole is so captivatingly intense it’s like you’re under a spell when you watch them perform it.

ok im burning out i can only write so much DSKJHSDF but the truth untold. it’s like he transforms into full angel form at this point. his voice is incredible and his harmonies and pitch and the emotion he puts into it. also everybody say thank you stylists!

he also has such an aura during mic drop. everybody does but it seriously is honestly such a great track live because the energy is dominating and in that moment you really know that they absolutely do own the whole arena and set the stage on fire. ugh! and the strength that he has during the dance break at the end of mic drop!! unreal!

also i can’t imagine genuinely truly hating so what. like i see so many people saying they hate it but you know that when you hear it irl that shit makes you JUMP and they have so much fun on stage especially jk! we like to make fun of him for his shoot dance but seeing him go across the stage enjoying himself so much makes you feel just as much joy as him :( at this point would it really be a performance of so what if he didn’t do it?

at this point i knew that so what was one of the final performances n i was like. What. because it really passed by like a blur it didn’t feel nearly as long as it supposedly took and before i knew it they were performing anpanman so i HAD to cheer up because that song is so cute. and jk is all smiley when they perform it! nose scrunches and all! he actually gets up in a normal way during namjoon’s part. his eyes are all big and sparkly and playful and it feels very boyish!!!

N THEN DURING THE ENDING MENT JOON CALLED JUNGKOOK “MISTER COOL GUY JK” AND JK WAS LIKE “cool guy!” n then like “make some nooooiiiise!!!” n he was smiling doing his cute scrunch and rewatching this like. ive said it 50 times already but he’s seriously so pretty. his eyes are lit up and his expression is bright and there’s a blue light shining on him but his EYESSSSS :((((( he has a slight accent which is rly cute but his pronunciation is also really good and it feels like you just want to hug him really tight even though he’s sweaty but like Would I Complain.

his voice in answer: love myself is so smooth it’s like sitting in a warm patch of sun with a cool breeze looking up at the sky. ok i know i said i was burning out but am i really. rewatching the videos makes me so happy. and his harmonies were so nice. and he was moving side to side really cutely! like one of those figurines you put on the dashboard of your car and they dance side to side! n he’s so full of love. they were all moving their arms side to side and the army bombs were moving along with them i want to cry watching it again it’s so weird thinking that i was actually there it felt like everyone in the audience became one with all the members on stage jk was acting cute and he and all the members were waving to everyone in the audience in the pit and the further away and upper levels of the arena.

for a really long time i’ve never been able to pinpoint the happiest moment or memory of my life everytime ive been asked about it. for lack of a better answer i always left it vague but ever since the concert i can easily say it was the happiest i’d been in a long time and possibly ever and i wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything else in the world