#ive missed them. ngl.

[timothvy]

winter walks >_<

[meli-mouse]

so distracting

[ar-mage-ddon]

to put it lightly i was possessed

[channie-binnie]

The blue team only have Chan and a dream

[mxltifxnd0m]

IM BACK BITCHES !

⟡ so as you can tell from this post, im officially back from my hiatus!

i honestly could have come back sooner but i just wanted to ride out the month of october so i didn't feel overwhelmed if i came back when i thought i felt better and not at 100%.

but yes a month long break was necessary for me and my mental health since i had been on tumblr consistently for a good 3 years at this point without one, so it was a long time coming.

but now im feeling a lot better and ive been slowly just easing myself into using the site again and exposing myself to my activity tab (r.e my hiatus announcement) and now i don't feel any kind of anxiety when seeing it so its progress! (i have yet check it thought but as soon as this is posted, i will be sorting through it)

with not being on the app/site, ive had some spare time open up for me and i've been utilizing it and i got back into journaling which was something i had been trying to do for the longest time but i treated this place as my digital one but clearly it didn't work out the way I wanted.

anyways moving on, I also was able to write quite a bit while on my break and i feel good about them because i didn't have the pressure of posting them right away.

but since i did write some fics! im so excited to share them with you guys so i made schedule of what/when im posting them and that'll be posted later today!

speaking of fics i made a poll before i went on hiatus about making a tag list for my fics and the majority of votes wanted me to make a tag list so i made a separate post for the tag list and how you can be added! [taglist has been posted]

with the housekeeping out of the way. yayy im back!! life has been great this past october and as sad as i was that i couldn't give you guys live updates, ill post them some of them here :P

i've made some more friends in my classes and I went to my first concert ever! it was a conan gray concert and ill make a separate post about my fit and the experience since it was so fun! other than that it was a relaxing month and my brother was in town and visited for a week and a half so having to share my room with my sister wasn't the best time but nonetheless we survived nonetheless LOL

anyways enough rambling! i have to say that i can't wait to binge everyone's kinktober and just the fics i've missed on here in general! im so happy to be back and im just so excited to share the things i have planned with you guys! (i'm so back guys ahhh!)

ive missed you all so much and i hope that everyone was doing well when i was gone <3

+++

tagging some of my moots to let them know im back: @sammyluvr / @ohsc / @s4wdvator / @sylvia-plaths-fig-pie / @arjwrites /

@heliads / @percyluvr

[zellink]

haven’t been drawing so much because i am saur lost in the Bells sauce but maybe i can finish this someday? mayhaps?

[pennedinblood]

wheeee thank you sm for the tag @henchy5824 <333 !! tagging uh. uuuuh @toastervox <3 @cringefailvox :] @hypnoticmoth (this time on purpose moth, HAH :')) as always, absolutely zero pressure to post anything<33 also I realize this is nearly if not already thursday for most people but. let's ignore that. anyway. from Virtuous Vices this time~

She was a novice, back then— had to learn the hard way that putting your allies on blast was, unfortunately, not a catch-all solution to their psychotic relationship problems. Nor was it all that helpful for their shared business. Sure, Velvette could always find a creative way to spin it in their favour—as she so often was forced to do when any sort of interpersonal drama leaked out beyond the confines of their tinted glass haven and into the pit that only recognized one primary colour (truly, Hell)—but there were limits even to her own brilliance, pesky problems that media puppeteering could not fix on its own. It didn't matter how masterfully she'd salvaged their reputations, or that she'd done it on the fly, or even that she'd somehow managed to turn a profit at the end of it all. None of it mattered when Velvette was dumb enough to shackle herself to not one, but two idiots with barely a child's worth of emotional stability between the both of them. And whenever the inevitable implosion happened—whether it was a pointed jab thrown by Vox or a literal, physical thing (more often than not a poor sinner in the wrong place) thrown by Val—Velvette didn't have the luxury of retreating to her screens like everybody else. Oh no. She was always left to deal with the fallout that nobody else was unlucky enough to witness, sewing together scraps of that brittle, thinning mess of string and fabric that encompassed the sex lives of her coworkers.

[kelvintimeline]

The fact that I’ve exhausted the entire Wangxian tag and nothing I’ve subscribed to is updating so… I really have no excuse to not be reading my books…….

[puppppppppy]

i am playing professor layton and the curious village on my ds. very fun!!!

I don't know if i'm very far in because most of the time spent in that game was me being confused and bad at puzzles. it's fun though.

!!! im glad to hear youre enjoying it!! its one of my fav titles and honestly such an underrated series, id love it if more ppl gave it a try!

the puzzles can be difficult but very rewarding!! i used to dread them as a kid but now i find them nice and challenging. the math ones are still hard, but if u speak to Flick at the cafe he'll give you chess puzzles which i think were my favorite ^_^

[deus-ex-mona]

[larrythefloridaman]

Hmm. Peppermint for bingo

the thing with peppermint is there are kind of two peppermints to me?

pre-nccts peppermint as-voiced-by-katie is a being so fascinatingly, hilariously, suffocatingly rancid that i felt the need to take a breather at one point when the streams originally aired and still wince going back to her scenes, an erratic obsessive creep armchair psychologist writer and masochist on a constant dizzying sugar high who happily rejects all adherence to social contract in devotion to an evil god she's actively stalking who wants nothing to do with her in pursuit of an escapist fantasy she's projected onto him. (red candy)

nccts peppermint as-written-by-ryan is a particularly unstable cringe sad wet newly crowned old god in a box all alone with abrasive and obsessive tendencies over shipping, fandom drama and her own opinions about character writing to the detriment of her ability to engage positively with the 'real world' (Relatively Speaking) outside of those lenses, her derealization and her tendency to treat other people as fictional objects to project her desires onto in violation of their boundaries only being worsened by Prism's enabling of that mindset and her possessive and obsessive desire for a tooth-rotting archie-andrews ass romantic fantasy with Crimson, but she's observant and sharp and self-assured enough to stand her ground when she realizes she's being manipulated with the promise of companionship and to not waver in her conviction that Prism is wrong. (green candy)

these arent at all incompatible, in fact they read to me as two parts, almost two perspectives, of one greater whole, but they are pretty noticeably distinct in their focus execution and tone, i think?

she's still a creep, but ryan doesn't always sell it as hard or as strongly as katie did, often leaning on common (and thus usually less shocking and by extension less effective due to not hitting as hard) 'unpredictable viscerally lonely yandere' trope stuff. Or maybe the written medium just dampens its effect- hard to explain what specifically makes katie's pep character voice so Offputting, i cant imagine it's easy trying to translate it into text without losing some of its offensive punch when you lose the element of vocal delivery, im not sure how id do it. Havent gotten to the most potent ncct pep stuff in the reread we've been doing yet, my opinions' subject to change, maybe shes worse than i remember, lol

if peppermint's character premise is summarized and boiled down to the absolute basics as 'creepy and obsessive parasocial fan of the sport' then katie put the emphasis on 'creepy' and 'obsessive' and ryan put the emphasis on 'parasocial fan of the sport' to better use her as a character that reflects the concept of fandom and position her as being on the side of characterization over strict narrative structures and expectations for the nccts' metanarrative thematic purposes, you get what i mean?

marking 'couldve been a great character if handled differently' is admittedly kind of misleading when what i really mean is 'i hope these takes on her character maybe get synthesized a little more going forward now that prism's arc villain era in the nccts is effectively over and the narrative actively problematizes her violative and antisocial behavior more again because shes less interesting to me when its treated as inconsequential in the grand scheme of things as it kind of mostly is after ncct2, and that her loneliness and the roots of how she is and why are explored more.' alas the bingo board is written in past tense. None of this is a criticism really just kinda observations of the disconnect that sometimes comes into play when a character is really Made by their voice actor in a way thats sorta lost in translation to another medium and to the hands of another writer with different goals.

All this being said, i like her! In a show about identity and connection and our responsibilities to ourselves and eachother when living in community with others, a character defined by loneliness, disconnecting from other people and their own reality and sinking deeply enough into themself and their eccentricities and what little they DO find connection through to the point of lacking consideration for others' existence as full, real people, reducing them to picking them apart as though theyre storytelling tools, trying and struggling by navigating the world around her as though its the fiction she loves with no REAL consequences, until she upset someone badly enough to be forced to consider them as a real person with feelings (relative to her as. Also A Fictional Character,) is a really interesting character concept for a metanarrative arc of the show, and her being manipulated by the godly 'author' into being her lackey through a sense of companionship and enabling that perspective on the world by letting her in on the in-universe Cosmic Secret that their world IS a fiction to someone, us, the audience... its pretty fascinating, especially because she only falls for the lie in it for so long. It does matter. It may not be real, but it does matter. And she took us believing in her so close to heart...

[alienaiver]

my oinkawa tattoo is turning 7 today!!!!

heres the outline back then from 2017, and then today !! 🥰

[technicolorxsn]

love how there are pretentious video essays that just repeat the book and meander and ramble about house of leaves. it's what zampanó would have wanted. it is not, however, what I want

[fstarnd1sco]

i am like this close to writing tomgreg again

[d-0-kkaebi]

haven't posted a selfie in god knows how many years so hello! i'm at uni now

[dewgongs]

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