#ive just felt stupid and angry all day and also like i cant say how or why

[waspalisades]

i thought i looked so pretty and did so good being a person at the big party i went to last night and one unflattering picture of me drunk and unconscious on the floor has shattered the illusion lmao nevermind

[back2bluesidex]

Idk if this is something you’d want to read but after reading your post about being lonely, i definitely feel the same way 😅 albeit probably a little different. I dont really have anyone to talk to about this feeling so i thought maybe i’d share this. I just started a seasonal job in retail at 22, ive never had a “real job” because since i was 14 i was considered the “family babysitter” & once i turned 16 i kept applying for jobs so i didnt have to keep babysitting, nothing worked out because i was always met with “you need more experience “ & i kept getting that until i was 20 (when i just gave up & accepted I’ll probably be a babysitter for family/family friends forever 🥲). Ive only really been surrounded by kids & family, my mom took me out of highschool in my 1st year because she hated the public school system & decided to “homeschool” (which was go get my ged at 18), so i never got to experience the highschool life & friends, i was pretty isolated. Aside from getting rejected from jobs constantly, i wasnt able to go to college after either because it was too much money & that “nobody would be at home watching kids”. So ive just constantly felt very alone & whenever i would mention it i was met with things like “dont be selfish. you should be thankful youre not out there in the world, it’s evil” etc etc. Along with the fact i dont know how to drive, i had a huge fear whenever i was 15/16 so i never learned then but when i was 18 i didnt have that anymore & wanted to. I was constantly trying to get people to teach me, but no one would and driving school costs a ton which i didnt have bc no paying job. That added on to that feeling & i kept feeling behind

So fast forward to now at 22, i was finally able to get a seasonal job at victorias secret and nov 4 was my first training day. I still have that feeling & now im just stressed about everything. They immediately put me on cash register & very vaguely explained things to me, so i wasnt the best when trying to check people out & i know in retail you’ll get horrible customers sometimes and that’s literally all i got. I was so overwhelmed & i did accidentally mess up someone’s change (which was fixed!) so i had them screaming at me 2 hours in my first training day. And i cant stop thinking about how inadequate i felt during that & that whole day really. I would get judgmental looks from the other workers when i would ask questions, because ive never done anything like this before. I kept getting looked at like i was stupid for not knowing things & that messed with me (still is). I dont think itll be like that entire time im there, im hoping at least.

And i still dont know how to drive, i tried once this year from my older sister but she started grabbing the wheel when i was trying to drive because she panicked (i was going in a straight line in a empty parking lot) & stated she’s never trying to teach me again. My younger cousins learned how, have their license and new cars already & i hate that i feel jealous and angry about it because it is family, but everyone who helped them constantly told me they couldn’t with me year ago & still now. I get subtle remarks of “your cousins can drive already/youre 22 & relying on others to drive you” etc. (they also all have jobs already & not a seasonal one like me) But yeah, i feel so alone & inadequate at literally everything, have for years. Breakdown all the time because i have no clue on what to do & i have no one to talk to about it.

Rant over, sorry for how long it is, im probably being dramatic too, there are people who have it worse than i do 😅 but yeah, i get that feeling! I do hope you feel better better about it 🫶🏻🤎

Don't say sorry! It's alright. Rather I am glad that you found me and my blog safe enough to share your troubles with.

and let me tell you that you are just 22. You still have a whole lot of time ahead to make money, to learn driving, to make friends, to enjoy life and do everything you want to do.

Don't ever think you are late or that time is slipping away from your clutches! It's not.

I am 25 and I can't even cook. Can you believe it? a 25 year old woman who can't even fry an egg properly while cooking is a basic survival skill? my friends can make a whole feast if they want to and I only know how to boil some instant noodles. At times this made me feel like an inferior too but no, none of us are inferior to one another because what I can't do - you can and what you can't do - I can. we are all lacking and it's okay.

Also, if those people made you feel like a fool just because they didn't train you properly then it's their fault, not yours. when you start working you need to learn one thing that is to make you skin thick. It's only you who needs to know the truth - that it's not your fault - and the rest of the world can go fuck off.

and what if you did some mistakes? we all are allowed to do so. mistakes are the only way we get to learn, isn't it?

So, please, darling. Cheer up! You have a ton of time to buy that car or get that job or tell people to fuck off when they ask you to watch their kids. Things aren't over yet. You are doing good. You will do even better tomorrow and one day you will be the best! I believe in you and I am proud of you!

even though I know we are basically strangers but just know this person right here, an elder sister to you, will always be proud of you no matter what!

if you want to talk, slide into my inbox any time. I will always welcome you!

Love you!! 💕💕💕💕

P.S: You should have charged for those babysitting sessions.

P.S.S: I, too, don't know how to drive. LMAO!

[dumbbitchfrommars]

i wanted to die at one point in my life. i wanted to watch as the blood dripped from the endless cuts i put on my own body, i wnted to see how mny i could fit on the areas of my body that werent visible because i wanted that private pain because i always knew the complete hypocrisy and idiocy of being suicidal and making it a caricature for the world to see.

its why i felt so stupid going to a psychologist that i seeked out for myself, every week, filling in that stupid sheet and downplaying my true feelings because it seemed so redundant to say i was depressed and anxious and having suicidal thoughts when i clearly desired to live enough to tell someone and try get help for it. but somehow i still wanted those things too. and i was invalidating myself by thinking the psychologist who barely knew or cared about me gave two shits about the fact that i was being a hypocrite.

im almost certain i have bpd.

if not i definitely have emotional dysregulation.

"nobody understands"

does nobody want to understand? or do i want them to not understand? or do i put it in the too hard basket - because no one knows how to fucking listen these days. or is it that i simply dont know how to say it. to say the hard thing and communicate how i truly feel. which is pure shit.

im beginning to disssociate from my own reality. potentially very likely the reason and source for all my creativity that i was wondering about. i thought it had gone for good. turns out i just needed to be completely stressed and depressed for it to come back - my perfect distraction. my one true love. dqydreaming. maladaptive daydreaming... hits different when my reality is unbelievably shit and worse. makes me get real juicy and creative with my made up stories to escape into.

the way my life is actully grreqt and fine and dandy and im lucky and special and i still feel like this. will the feeling ever go away?

its not fair that you made it all about you. my mental health is suffering because im trying so hard for everyone and youre turning my efforts into anither problem to pick away at? fuck you. fuck you. watch me prioritise myself. watch me take the biggest step away from you. youve failed me again, you alwaus fail me! you will never know what it feels like to be me. yiu will never understand.

i need to move out. i need to leave. i need to get the FUCK away. im so angry im heartbroken. im so angry im broken. i feel like a child again. how could you fail me so badly that i cut my own body and fantasized about death?

i really want to just go invisible. become the physical embodiment of what my internal world is feeling. but... more than usual. archive everything on instagram and change my bio to "gone for abit". delete the app. delete everything in fact. go awol. leave. disappear. isnt that what you want? isnt that what you deserve? if you wanted to ignore me so bad. ill just fucking leave then. ill go! im happy to do that. but somehow i know that wont work anymore. it never did, actually. it only did for me. and now i dont even think i get that as a consolation. because unfortunately my conscience is just too self aware to do that. anyway.

i just dont see anyone taking me and my issues seriously. thats how this problemcame to be, wasnt it? my parents judged and laughed at my big emotions. my feelings. my thoughts. now i dont know how to express fucking anything. but i also ccan? cause ive made it this far. hiding. hiding in plain sight. ugh

i cant keep doing this anymore. i cant keep writing! but i also cant keep hiding. but fucking everyone sucks. theyre just gonna have to deal, i suppose. what do i do, god? i dont know what else there is to say anymore. its all on the table. im still angry and hurt. and im so agonisingly close to that familiar feeling. god, i want to turn to my old bad habits but i know it wont help me. its a beautifully sadistic secret. but it helps nothing. its just a pointless secret. but at least its a release. its a sinful pleasure. once i do it, ill unravel. but i kind of want to. i want to be a bad person. ive always been a bad person pretending to be good, though. i could just be bad and authentic, and covered in bloody scars too. or i could just ... i wont go there just yet. im not thaat stupid, am i?

EWJGFVJFVKJDVKJDFVJKDFJKFVKJFVJKN

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

I rarely feel this alone its probably because I didn't eat anything all day and because I didn't drink water all day and because my bf yelled at me again this morning for complaining o r not listening or something and because I have bpd and because I felt ostracized at my university and because I failed my classes and because I don't wanna be part of that bs propaganda statistic that weed enjoyers do not do well in college and drop out because that is only part of the problem weed can make people distracted and "lazy" for sure but that applies with pretty much any other legal "drug" or other form of entertainment, and I also feel alone because I did bad at school because I live in like two different places and still don't have a car or drivers license IN TEXAS and also because I am constantly scared all the time of everything and also because everything is exhausting and also because I have been needing to do my laundry for months now and also because I have adhd and have been undiagnosed my entire life until like 2 years ago and also because I feel like everyone hates me and no one will ever like me for the dysfunctional angry abusive disgusting incompetent useless and stupid person I really am and I am a literal burden to everyone that has ever interacted with me and also because I hate everyone and also because I want to be perfect and amazing all the time and solve everyone's problems so we can all be friends and no one ever thinks im weird or yells at me or hates me or tells me to do shit ever ever ever again and also because I am living in America and also because there is an entire population of people being erased and its happening in front of our eyes and all the awareness is great but im really scared nothings helping I guess I should donate after this or at least spread some more awareness idk

I hate that I havre so much to complain about when im literally living some peoples dream. I cant believe these opportunities were wasted on me. it should've been someone else that went to school and got the degree instead of dissapointing everyone and being an awkward outcast in the classroom.

im literally making this about myself I don't know how I can be so selfish. my bf gives me shit all the time about how I complain too much and look for problems instead of solutions, which I understand but he seemed very skeptical when I say that conflict is an addiction in some cases especially traumatized kids (me)

im so hurting guys im in so much pain ive been in pain a lot of my life, like not a lot a lot but a fair amount for sure

ive been running on between 15% ~ 5% battery for the past 6+ years I don't know how much time I have left

and don't even get me started on the health concerns I be smoking and vaping (vaping isn't nearly as often tho) and omg I just saw that kurzegazxt (idk how to spell them) video about smoking lmfao

I feel like according to everyone ive ever interacted with, I am either trying too hard (stressing about overly specific schedules) or not trying hard enough (snapping and or having a meltdown "on purpose")

everyone wants something from me and even when they don't want anything I am suffocated by my thoughts telling me Im not doing enough for them I am so exhausted and scared and sad this world is such an evil and rotten place sometimes I am so scared for the fate of humanity we are so screwed and hopeless (ok not really but this is my mindset rn and its MY MENTAL EPISODE I GET TO CHOSE THE RANT LYRICS)

oucccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ouuuuuuuccccccchhhhhhhhh

chat, is it ethical to ask someone to "just stop" having symptoms of emotional irregulation? omg Imma make a poll lmfao

just everything is bad rn im really going through it my life is falling apart and I keep ruining everything and its all my fault because I am not disciplined enough I hate

om,g that funny moment when your dad doesn't let you take meds when you actually wanted to try them and then you try weed and its cool but it does not help with school because work hates you, and so you try to get back into meds when you're in school and you never prepare enough for each semester and there wasn't time to adjust to new meds before the semester and then I ended up doing weed again because I cant just do the entire semesters unmedicated. ME??? MY ADHD ASSS????? TRYING NOT TO DIE AT UNIVERSITY????????

WITHOUT SUBSTANCES???????????

Oh goodness

Anyway but yeah that paragraph is basically just saying I wish I coulve had meds before I tried za. that way my chances of graduating without going to the psyche ward twice wouldve been probably been at least a little higher

and now guess who's giving me shit and probably hates me to death because im abusing their son/grandson and im not taking meds yet because I haven't had time to look for an in person psychiatrisist because im still looking for a job because I haven't cleaned my room yet because of the stupid internet sucking me into an infinite abyss of capitalized attention spans. yep that's right, my potential in laws. im sure they cant stand me anymore. his grandma literally told me to "take care of him if you know what's good for you" and I know that cleaning the house and not being verbally abusive is a great way to ensure our future family doesn't get sick.

im gonna kms guys ok not really but I think about it a lot sometimes I really cant stand this anymore

HOOOOOOOW DO YOU ACCEPT CONTSTRUCTIVE CRITICIMS NORMALLY>???????????????? HOW DO YOU JUST NOT BE SCARED BECAYSE YOU CAN'T TELL IF THEIR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOU IS JUSTIFIED OR IF YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF??????????????

HOOOOOOOWWWWWW???????????????

OH AND ASO because my brother hates me and has gone no contact with me for the past few months and he just doesn't talk to me ever and also I want to die so bad and my cat

oh my cat

wang ja my beloved

*starts tearing up* ooough my caaaaaat..

my cat oh my beloved cat is almost in his 30s in cat years and I feel so horrible because he had to live with my parents for most of his 20s and late teens while I spent a lot of time with my bf because he was my safe space once, and now I see he's getting older even if only slightly and my house is so boring and the food is so shitty I want to give him fresh food from the farm and give him lots of fresh air and exercise and we just cant have those nice things rn because we live in a society. :"(((((((((

omg please someone just stab me i cant take this

[tin-umi]

Miya.

Hey,

Ah.. don't know how I want to start. Spending almost my entire year hanging, talking, laughing, crying, angry with you. Everything.. was the best thing in my life ever after my 12 years incident. Honestly, felt like you cured my past away and told me to just keep looking ahead and go brighter. I wished the same for you too and would always stick around watch you grow better and better with your decisions.

Every time you'd just catch me feeling upset and you'd always remind me to not think that way. Even when you're not around I can just imagine you're always beside me to remind me these things.

I messed up. I'm so insecure. I broken your trust, your heart. I always victimize myself. Every single day I blame myself. I still do and god knows how long I'll keep acting this way after what I've just done to you.

Why did I do it? It hurt seeing you with 'him' when I really thought it's okay and not think about it. I was so close to get through it but when I saw you guys it's just.. painful. The same 'guy' who did all those and ran away but I get the biggest hit. I couldn't take it anymore that I let dark side of me take over and just.. decide to ruin a life. I didn't tell your partner everything. I only told what I saw and how I was worried back in May. I also told him my behalf of my fuck ups. Honestly, if I were to mention anything to your partner it should've just been my fuck up only nothing else. Felt like I was the only friend that can actually befriend with him especially how low his reputation is around your friends.

I expected too much. Way too much. Giving space is what I'm really bad at. I tried my best to give space but I don't know how? I get frustrated when I hear nothing and just become dumber.

I sent a message to your friends. A was first. S was second. M was last and longest. The next person would've been you but rather leaving a message, it's more of let's talk. I mainly told them about my behaviour and my boundaries is beyond. I should've been more approachable rather relying on you all the time because I felt like I've just been throwing you more stress. On top of that is my apology and me understanding if I'm unforgiven for my actions.

I fucked up so hard I let my anger and sad emotions just take over me to repeatedly act more stupid. more and more. i just CANTT WITH MYSELF it hurts so much. this pain never goes away and i just lost a dearest friend again. this trauma is just coming back to me with a similar scenario. my self awareness is so shit. i have no trust in myself. i have no trust in friends. i hate myself. this is why she disappeared on me because of how immature i am and now ive lost you too. if i cant prove any better than why should i bother living.

..I don't know what to do. I'm overthinking but I'm also fucking myself over and over and over i just..

I treated you like an object and hearing that will always run in my head knowing i didn't make you happy at all.

I'm sorry.

I ruined my dream person's life.

I ruined someone I really loved in my life even though I'd always support their relationship.

I'll never be forgiven. I'll never be trusted. I'll never see the good side of me again.

there's so much more i want to say to you but my mental is so shit i cant think anymore.

This is all my fault. Not yours. And if you keep saying it's your mistake; it really isn't.

Please be okay from today onwards.

Justin.

[cyber-ii3]

today I'm mad at jace and Connor. Lately ive been reaching my wits end with them because i havent been liking the way they've been treating me, but i think i was pushed over the edge when Connor started being mean to my boyfriend. Earlier I asked Connor why he wasn’t including my boyfriend in our group calls and he was extremely rude by saying he didnt want him there and that he didnt want to talk to him. I thought they had a good relationship because they were having a good conversation at the party and my boyfriend thinks really highly of Connor so I felt really hurt when i realized that those feelings weren't reciprocated. I really wanted my friends to make an effort to be nice to my boyfriend but lately it feels like they've been shitting on him. Robert and Connor keep telling me my boyfriend is gay or is a twink and they keep making gay jokes about it but its making me uncomfortable. Every time i get mad they just laugh at me and its been really making me mad and sad for my poor boyfriend who has been trying really hard to be their friends. I really hate how they disrespect them like that and ive been expressing how irritated at Connor i am but jace is getting defensive. It makes me mad because they agree with everything Connor says, but when I insult Connor, jace gets mad at me. Its so hypocritical and I'm honestly just done and put up with their double standards. I also cant handle jace’s outbursts anymore. When theyre mad, they take it out on everyone around them, including me, and they never apologize for it. One day, I noticed jace was stressed at work so I asked how they were feeling and they told me to shut up and never ask them a stupid ass question like that ever again. It really hurt my feelings because I was really worried about them, and I know they were stressed but I didnt do anything to them. Even if they were stressed, they were treating their boyfriend kindly and even laughing with him. If you’re so stressed why can you offer connor a bit of kindness and not me? I thought we were suppose to be friends. Thats why I removed jace off of my spam. Im slowly trying to put distance between us because we still work together and I know its gonna be awkward but im just tired of feeling like I did something wrong or being used as a human punching bag. Even now, after I removed jace from my rant account, they immediately messaged me and they were angry. They accused me of venting about them when I wasnt. All I did was post that I didnt like how people were purposely trying to piss me off. The messages they sent made me feel extremely sad and guilty and i ended up ranting to my boyfriend about how sad I feel and I dont want to put that on him. Dealing with jace can be really exhausting and I hate how they put their boyfriends feelings first in front of everyone elses even if he started the fight. I overall just feel extremely sad that if its between me and connor, jace no longer sees me as a friend but as an enemy. Im more upset that jace always takes out their anger on me. They never snap at chloe or Mishi, its always me. I dont understand. Why is it always me that does something wrong? Is it because Jace knows I wont leave even if they hurt my feelings? Im tired of it. All I need is my boyfriend. I wish I could stay friends with mishi and chlo without having to talk to Jace. Im so upset that things turned out this way I even want to cry. I have feelings too. I cant just laugh everything off. I am especially hurt if you make fun of someone I love and care about so much. Im gonna take a break from instagram. 

[lolibles]

playing video games with them| anemo boys <3

characters: kazuha, xiao and venti

very fluffy, a little suggestive in kazuha’s part, slight slight angst for xiao, crack

synopsis: what games you play with them, how they act with you!

not proofread please don’t sue me this is also very random :)

kazuha

playing stardew valley and animal crossing with kazuha is my life goal that will never be fulfilled please cry with me. anyway, just imagine cuddling on the sofa under a thick blanket on a cold rainy day with cups of hot chocolate or tea whilst playing stardew valley. the both of you work through the first year slowly as little farmers doing cute little farm things. also if you ever chose to get into a relationship with any of the npcs in the game kazuha will not be happy, he’d definitely not talk to that particular npc because he is now kazuha’s “sworn enemy”. he will also be a pouty baby, so please apologise and give him kisses. and if you REALLY want to make it up to him, ask him to marry you in animal crossing and this man will be on his knees in a split second. he’d prepare EVERYTHING, from the venue, the guests, he’d even attempt to design his own tux for his little character to wear. and you guys would have such an adorable animal crossing wedding. also because kissing in game is not enough, he’d probably kiss you irl when the wedding officiant says you may now kiss the xx. honestly i see kazuha even going out spontaneously to buy you a promise ring with a little maple leaf engraved in it for you. yes it was an animal crossing wedding, but it was a wedding non the less. playing minecraft with kazuha please, its so fucking wholesome- he’s so good at the game and he doesn’t even try. he knows all the tricks and he’s so sexy with redstone you cant convince me otherwise. he’s also an amazing builder pls wtf. AND OH MY GOD, imagine playing the sims4 with kazuha, he’d literally cry inside. you both would sit next to each other in front of the computer screen for hours just designing your characters. and you would have a little cat too. everytime kazuha’s character flirted with yours, he will definitely shoot you one of his romantic haikus. also the first time your characters woohoo’ed, he most likely would have teased you and said “its unfair that only they get to woohoo you know.” anyway i think playing wholesome games with kazuha is 10 bells out of 10 bells.

xiao

now this one is kinda scary. i think its pretty obvious that xiao plays shooter games honestly. or anything that has to do with fighting. it wasn’t unusual to hear him literally SCREAM randomly throughout the day because of a game. if you ever play shooter games with this aggressive boy, please proceed with caution. i honestly feel like he would be so caught up in the heat of the moment he’d actually forget he was playing with you. so if he ends up getting angry, please bare with him- he honestly doesn’t mean to call you bad, or useless, or trash… I SWEAR. xiao will immediately regret his words and he’d feel so bad. especially after he notices how your mood just instantly dies. he’d feel so bad, even after he apologised and you forgave him, he can’t accept the fact that he just called you- the love of his life something so vulgar. and since he’s so awkward and bad with people he’d literally feel like crying on the spot. he wouldn’t know what to do to make it up to you. the next few days, xiao was so cautious around you- even if you didn’t think much about the incident anymore. in the end even xiao was unable to stay away from you for too long, and he’d ask you to watch him play games instead- which you happily agreed to. he loves it when you straddle him while he sits in his chair while gaming though he’d never admit it. but whenever you felt him get tense, all you had to do was give him a kiss and you just knew he’d calm down. you literally work magic on him. also occasionally you’d hear some idiots in his party talking shit about him, you wouldn’t think twice before speaking into the microphone and start standing up for him, and your grip around his waist would definitely tighten a lot more. “if i ever hear you talking shit about MY boyfriend one more time, i will literally come in game and beat the absolute fuck out of you.” yassss girlboss! xiao’s heart would explode and his face would be beat red, he thinks he doesn’t deserve you. also he thinks your so sexy standing up for him like that, please don’t tease him about it. i rate him a “please dont scold me im trying my best” out of “FUCK YOU SUCKKKKKK”

venti

oh my god, horror games. he hates them but he can’t stop. playing phasmophobia with him would be incredibly fun, but he would make you do all the work literally. he’d be too scared to do anything- and if you ever got caught with the ghost you’d be stupid to think he’d try to save you. he would be the first one out the door and running away. he’s also so loud, your honestly more likely to get jump scared by his screaming than the actual game. other than that i think venti likes to play the sims4 too, except he’s so chaotic about it. he wants to do challenges and he also wants to make like 10 babies with you even if your sims can’t afford them- cries when they are taken away. has all the packs and just enjoys fucking around with everything- also makes bets with you, like whether your baby is going to be a boy or girl, and if you lose you owe him a kiss or he asks you to do something for him. when he plays with you, he needs to be touching your body at all times. he says it makes him feel safe, and warm. so you just let him. venti also wants to play karaoke games with you, he loves your voice so much- whether you can sing or not he loves it. but he will tease you if you cant. he loves duetting with you, to him it’s something very intimate and close to home. he wants to hold your hand and give them a squeeze as an encouragement when you sing with him. and yes you guys probably have played just dance a few times, but venti gets incredibly tired after one round- so please bare with his annoying ass. i think venti is a solid 8 red bulls out of “ive already drank 15”

guys i was supposed to include aether but his part disappeared and i- </3 i’ll have to rewrite and upload it in a second part!! heh sorry for being gone for so long, anyway i have my presentations tomorrow, a test on thursday and another presentation on friday ;-; wish me luck! ill be back writing in a few days while i suffer rn sghshshsh

also @truegaypotat my love here is some xiao content <3

[yesimwriting]

Hi! I have been having an off day I’m kinda exhausted and anxious slightly snappy haha. I was wondering how would the darkling react to an anxious reader that he cares about. 😊

a/n ive been a little MIA but im working i promise!! i felt really apathetic about writing for awhile bc of some personal stuff but ive been trying to get back into it bc im genuinely happier when i write :)

--

- ok so i think how he reacts to an anxious person that he cares about depends on where you're at in the relationship,, which might be kinda a 'duh' but it needs to be said for how im setting this up lol

- bc if he's kinda just starting to figure out his feelings, i think he'd be so surprised by how much he cares that he has to hold back his immediate reactions, bc he may have his faults but he's def protective once he realizes something is affecting/hurting the person he sees as the sun

- that protectiveness stems from wanting to be what makes you happy, he wants to feel like he's your shelter so that he feels like he's good enough for you. He wants you to be happy so he can feel your warmth but he also really wants the redemptive feeling that comes from knowing that he's your protector in a way.

- he wants to protect and make you happy so bad, sometimes you need to be like 'umm...i really appreciate that you want to torture the person that bumped into me a little too hard on a bad day,, but maybe let's not??' especially if you are still in that phase where he kinda scares/intimidates you bc you know him more as the General

- not only are his more over the top reactions a little scary bc you don't want to offend him by not wanting to talk about it to avoid blowing the situation up,, they're also confusing

- bc you had no idea he cared if you lived or died let alone cared if you were nervous or not?? but sometimes it makes you feel really comforted, bc if someone as hardened as the darkling can care that much about how youre feeling than you can't be as awful as you're feeling

- and it's also comforting bc he's clearly strong and powerful and when he puts a hand on your shoulder and stares at you like you're the only tangible thing in the world and telling you that he's not going to let anything happen to you,, the rational part of your anxiety is appeased to say the least.

- alright but that's at like the first stage of the relationship for him, bc i feel like he def has like twenty stages he goes through before finally being in a committed relationship bc even though he wants an attachment and love so badly bc he hates his eternal loneliness, he has a lot of layers to work through before he feels secure enough in you as a person to risk vulnerability

- so if he's at the point where he's accepted what he feels for you,, but has yet to really act on it, this is where he starts to give himself away a little

- like you'll mention being stressed about training in the Little Palace, or not getting along with someone and he immediately jumps to encouraging you. It's kinda funny bc at first he seems like he's just trying to be a supportive pal bc at this point ur sorta friendly (at least more friendly than anyone else is with the darkling) but then he kinda losses himself in talking about how amazing you are.

- and if youre feeling anxiety/bad bc of someone in particular, you better not mention their name unless you're 100 percent sure you're furious at them.

- sometimes it causes some strain bc you don't necessarily want him to get involved, and he's not above lowkey guilting you into telling him the full story, but it's not really intentional. He just starts talking about how much trust he puts in you and you just let the little things go after making him promise to leave things alone.

- if your anxiety is general,, or just bc of a. bunch of little things and he's at a point in which he's accepted how much he cares about you but has not told you yet,, he'll try to hide how soft he feels, but sometimes he slips up.

- honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if a really big relationship milestone came from that.

- like you crying one night and the darkling finding you, and then him taking you back to your room and promising to stay so that you don't have to feel alone and then the next morning you wake up and he's holding you

- at first ur like ?? but he acts so normal you're like maybe that can be platonic? but then it starts happening more and more and neither of you mention it and then when you two finally do get together youre like 'ohh? im stupid'

- and if your anxiety comes from your worry about him?? wow--he'll have to stop himself from kissing you

- this is a man who is so used to being hated/feared that the concept of someone worrying about him so much they physically don't feel well?? that would hit him STRAIGHT in the chest, and he'd be so quick to pull you to him, and then you'd be like--are you ok??

- wouldn't be surprised if that's how you found out he had feelings for you,, like he'd say something like "i didnt know the brightest star in the sky could want to protect the darkness instead of banish it. You're the brightest light I've ever known, it was more than enough for me that you weren't repulsed by my darkness...and now..."

- anyways,, if you were already established together and you were anxious, he would have no need to hold back

- if he notices your hesitant to let him 'help' he might do a thing or two to reduce sources of your stress without telling you...which sometimes leads to you getting a little mad, but depending on how extreme his actions were, he normally smoothes it over quickly

- i mean,, it's just how he shows that he cares, he's never had someone that could snap their fingers and get rid of his adversaries or reschedule a thing or two to make his life easier

- he sees no harm in it,, and even though sometimes other people may give you a bit of a hard time bc of his evident favoritism,, you know it just means he cares

- if he goes really far, you're more willing to be mad at him, but honestly when youre upset all you want is to be near him bc there's nothing more comforting,, so you agree to hold off on arguing lol

- i mean there are always lines that get crossed, so there are times he cant charm himself out of your anger, but the longer youre together the more he tries to hold off on doing things that make you really angry,, unless he feels like the person really hurt you, then nothing can stop his anger

- if youre actually together he's much more quick to comfort you physically if youre feeling really anxious,, he'll kiss you everywhere until he's all you can think about, which works for when your anxious over small things

- if your problem is larger, he cant exactly kiss it away though i cant say that doesnt help but it's still comforting and relaxing bc duh,, so i feel like he's really touchy if youre upset

- kissing sometimes leads to other stuff,, but that should be its own fic/headcanon bc i have a secret head cannon that feeling needed or like the only one his partner has is a turn on for him bc it returns some of the power he feels like he gives up by letting his partner care about him

- might have to write that fic now that im thinking about it....

- if youre so anxious you dont want to be touched, it'll be a little harder for him, but if he reaches for you and you back away he'll try to talk you down and remind you that he's not going to let anything happen and as long as he's breathing he'll make sure you're okay

- if youre officially together and youre anxious about something small, he's actually surprisingly nice to talk to,, before you were close you felt like you were bothering him with small, insignificant things,, but once you know that he cares about you he's a patient listener bc he likes being really present with you when he can bc he's busy so often

- sometimes if youre worried or upset he jumps to anger towards the object of your distress before comfort, but once youre at the dating part, you know that that's just how he is, and anger is how he shows love in a way?? lol, so you just have to clearly tell him that you'd rather him stay with you then rush out and like smite someone, he'll stop and comfort you

- sometimes how much he cares makes him angry at himself bc he begins to question if he'd pick you/your happiness over his goal, if he can't convince himself that you'd never get in the way of that, he gets a little cold until he feels assured in his loyalties or at least assured in the fact that your happiness would never conflict with his goals

- that can happen at any point in your relationship,, i feel like it'd happen more when he's unsure about his feelings bc seeing how much he cares about someone that's nothing to him makes him want to banish his nerves

- overall though,, once he cares about you, whether he's fully accepted it or not, he'd burn the world down to make you feel okay again,, or stay in bed with you for awhile, or both--whatever you want, really

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Jealous ll

Part 2!!!! I linked the sone again cause its a bop and I love it also heres pt one!

You had had enough

Thats what you kept telling yourself

As you got ready tonight

You weren't going sit in the house anymore waiting for keigo to show up whenever he felt like it

Tonight you were going out for you

You thought about how you used to have fun, how you used to be happy

And how miserable you had been lately and you decided

If Keigo didnt appreciate you anymore

Then you'd find someone who would

So thats why you found yourself looking in the mirror admiring how well you dressed up tonight to go out

You almost forgot how hot you were when you put in a little effort

You had originally stopped because keigo would tell you how beautiful and perfect you were without make up or anything

But now you were on the prowl for someone new to notice you and keigo's words meant little to nothing to you right now

Tonight you were gonna find someone to show you just a little bit of attention you craved so much and it wasnt going to be keigo

Just then you saw keigo staring at you from the reflection in mirror

he was home unusually eailer

"Dont you have to work?" You asked bitterly

"Where are you going?" He asked ignoring your statement

Sighed and rolling your eyes and picking up your purse you turned to him before leaving the bedroom, "Out. You don't have to wait up for me."

"You're being ridiculous y/n."

He said following you but you ignored him

"Y/n? Y/n?" He kept calling you, "You cant just go out an-"

"And why not?" You turned to him before you left the apartment, "according to you were not even really dating-"

"You know why that is." He told you seriously

You huffed out a fake laugh, "yeah, but its still okay for you to flirt with anyone?"

Keigo didnt respond to that making you chuckle, "Exactly...like I said im going out dont wait up." Then you slammed the door leaving.

You knew you were being unreasonable with him

You knew the two of you needed to just talk and make up

But you kept letting your anger from all your arguments cloud your judgment

Because you just wanted him to feel the same hurt and jealously you had been feeling more then anything

Keigo stared at the door you had just slammed

Things somehow got worse in the following days after your argument on your anniversary

You refused to talk to him

He tried to apologize to you but you basically brushed him off

Keigo wasn't sure what to think you said you hated him, you wouldnt sleep in the bed with him

Yet you hadn't packed up and left so that was good right?

But that distance that was growing between the two of you was wider then before

And he didnt know what to do to fix it

And now you were going out clearly dressed to find someone else

Did you really hate him? Had you really had enough of him?

Hell, he couldnt even blame you if you did he thought

You had put up with so much of him up until now

And maybe some of what you said the other night was true? Had he gotten too comfortable with you always being there?

But that was only because he loved you

Keigo was truly in love with you, and dispite you suspensions he never cheated on you

And he would never do that, you were the only one he wanted even now when you two seemed to be at each others throats

He still wanted you, and he couldn't picture his life without you

So thats why he ended up following you to the bar you were currently at

He made sure you hadnt noticed him staying in the back out of your sight

And he hated what he saw

He saw you having fun

You had met up with some of your girlfriends the three of you all laughing and drinking

You acting like you didnt have a care in the world, like the two of you didnt argue before you left out

Having a good time as if you didnt leave him alone in the house

He watched you dancing as though you were having the time of your life as other mean stared and gawked at you

He watched as a guy singled you out and was clearly flirting with you

And worst you let him and was encouraging him

You kept touching his shoulder laughing at his jokes letting him dance against you

Words couldnt describe the irritation he felt watching

He wanted nothing more then to rip that mans hands off you and fly away with you in his arms

But part of him felt like he deserved this

This feeling he had, was it how you felt?

If so he needed to fix this, was all that he could think

And he was about to go to you, but before he could someone called out his name

"Hey! Hawks is here!"

Fuck he said to himself when a crowd started to form around him

His eyes then connected with yours knowing you heard he was here

And for a moment he thought you were gonna come up to him

But instead you kept talking to the random guy ignoring him

Hawks wanted to go to you and talk to just take you back home

But was having trouble getting away from the crowd

He was all smiles talking to his fans but the whole time he kept his eyes on you

But somehow it became a battle to see who was going to be more stubborn

You continued to dance with the random guy, but now you knew keigo was here watching you

You convinced yourself not to care, you came here to have fun and he wasnt going to ruin it for you

But thats just what he was doing as you watched him talk to some random girl now

He was here to get under you skin, you were sure of it

But two could play this little game

Both of you having this little war with each other watching each other from across the room

And you couldnt lie you were enjoying it a bit

Seeing his eyes watching you, knowing he had to be feeling the sting of jealousy as another man held you close

But It all came to a head when you saw the girl he was dancing with lips on his neck

He wasnt looking at you when you saw that all his attention clearly on her

You couldn't deny the sharp feeling in your chest at the sight

And not wanting to see anymore you left the dance floor telling the guy you needed to go to the bathroom

Hawks pulled away from the handsy fan

Denying anymore of her advances

Yeah he had been trying to get under your skin now but thats was a bit much

But now when he looked up to find you again, only to see you were gone

His stomach sank

Where did you go? You had to had just seen that?

Did you leave with that guy? Hawks started to panic when he didnt seem him either

Where did you go? Why was he being so stupid just now? He should have just went to talk to you

Just then keigo noticed the guy you had been flirting with at the bar and went up to him

"The girl you were dancing with? Where'd she go?"

The guy looked at him like he was crazy "whats it too you?" He challenged him

But keigo wasnt in a playful mood and grabbed the man by the collar, "Answer the question asshole."

The guy quickly put his hands up in defeat, "she just said-

"Hawks?"

He heard his name called out and looked behing him to see you

"What are- you are so unbelievable." Yku shook your head storming off

You couldn't believe him he had the audacity to attack the guy you had been talking to

It didnt take much thought to figure out why

And it annoyed you to no end

So keigo could flirt and let girls kiss all over him but if you had a guy around you that was too much

He was such a hypocrite

You were angry your whole way back home

You stood in the mirror once you got back

But with a different feeling in your stomach then the feeling you had before you left

You felt defeated your plans of fun had been ruined and you felt like your back in the same spot you had been in

Hawks was giving you a little bit of space taking his time getting back home

Because now you were probably madder than before at him

When hr got in he saw you had just got out the shower

"Y/n..."

You heard him call out your name But you ignored him

Y/n, you have to listen to me."

You werent going to turned around but before you knew it he hugged you from behind

"Im sorry."

"Let go of me hawks." You spat out but he didnt budge

"Just listen to me y/n..."

"Why are we doing this to each other?" You asked quietly, "Why do you keep hurting me? What are we even doing? It clearly isnt wor-"

"Ive been an idiot, y/n."

Keigo buried his face in your neck, "I've been so stupid, but please please dont leave me."

You were trying to fight back tears, "I dont want to leave you keigo....but I cant-"

"Dont say you can't with me anymore. I need you." Keigo pleaded holding you tighter

You were so frustrated

You still loved him, you still wanted to be with him, because when things are good between you they're great

But the way your relationship had been it was becoming too much

But you wanted to stay with him

Because you loved him

You moved your hands and held on to his arms secretly enjoying his embrace that you missed so much

"I know you mean well keigo-"

"I love you so much y/n," keigo cut you off again, "I know ive been an asshole, ive been neglectful, ive been the worst, but dont give up on me. Please."

You finally turned around to face him and hugged him back

You could see the sincerity in his eyes as you did "I love you too keigo but I just cant do this- we keep hurting each other...thats not what your supposed to do to the people you love."

Keigo pulled back "You want me to tell everyone about us? I will." He told you, "You want me to tell you everything ive been doing I will, I promise you Ill to whatever it takes to fix us. I dont want to live the way we have anymore."

You knew he was serious and your heart leaped hearing his words but you werent sure

"You're the only one I want y/n" he said giving you a light kiss

Almost like he was asking for permission

"Ill do whatever it takes for you to forgive me."

He said inbetween kisses, "you're so important to me, im sorry i made you think you weren't."

You couldnt lie he was finally saying everything you wanted to hear

And you wanted to believe him

"You promise?" You asked him

"I promise."

[potatoesforash]

Ghostbur x reader- Ghostly love

Y/n’s POV

Walking along the path to the clearing in the forest where my cottage resides I notice a change in the weather and very quickly realise it was beginning to rain. Sighing to my self I start to slow my pace in walking enjoying the rain as it hit my skin. My cloak getting soaked but at this moment I could care less and that's when I hear it, a voice coming from behind me. It was soft almost distant but it was loud enough for me to hear. Looking in front of me I see my cottage that I could just run to but out of the kindness of my hart I turn to look at the person behind me. I was shocked to find a pale man with a large gash in his middle looking at me as if nothing happened.

"Hi sorry to bother you but do you think I could possibly come in?" the strange man said

"you see I'm a ghost and I melt in the rain and I would really not like to be out here for long" he added to his previous statement rubbing the back of his ghost head

"Uhh sure thing bud" I say telling him to follow me. Walking into my home the man follows behind rather fast and sits him self in front of my couch facing the fire place that was still blazing.

"This is a nice place you have here" He said looking back at me "If you don't mind me asking what aesthetic is this? Its nice but confusing" He asks

"Oh its Dark Academia and Cottage core mixed into one I um I picked it up from my old friend who taught me everything I know" I say trying not to drop any hints that could get me possibly killed by Dream

"So he was like your professor?" He asks looking at me with a twinkle in his eye

"you could say that" Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Turning to face the door that I hadn't moved from since we got in opening it slightly to find two rather tall men in front of me one with pink hair and one with blonde hair covered by a hat of some sorts, suddenly I feel the ghost man's presence behind me.

"Hello, can I help you two men?" I ask politely opening the door more for them to get a proper look at me

"Yes you can we were told that you could help us with a little problem" the blonde man starts all of a sudden the ghost behind me shouts a loud Phil and the blonde and Pink haired men look at me suspiciously. The pink man quickly draws his sword and holds the tip of it to my thought

"Why is Ghostbur here?" the man asks me with his rough sounding voice

"If I was you I would put your sword down before you regret it" I respond and he just chuckles at me

"What are you going to do-" He asks but is quickly shut up when his sword has been thrown into the clearing far enough away from him so he could not reach it without having to move away from the door. He slowly looks at my hands to see that I have a stick (so he thought) in my hand

"What did you do?" He asks in a threatening tone

"I warned you but you did not heed it so I will ask you this once and once only who-" before I got to question the men in front of me ghostbur spoke up interrupting me

"This is my brother Technoblade and this is my dad Philza" pointing at both the men "she was just letting me stay till it stopped raining she meant no harm" he says putting a hand on my shoulder making a shiver run up my spine, his hand was freezing like ice, Looking back at the two men in front of me I come to the conclusion to speak up finaly

"What did you two want? And how did you find this place" Techno looked at me like he wanted to kill me and Phil just sighs and takes off his hat

"us three where supposed to come find you together but Wil here wandered off and found you we where told you where a necromancer of some kind and where hoping that you could bring my son here back from the dead?" Phil asked with hopeful eyes

"I-I'm sorry I don't do that anymore not since Dream had threatened me with execution if I ever did it again considering what happened the last time" I say looking back at the eyes of this ghosts father "But I can provide warmth, tea and shelter considering night is falling near and it hasn't stopped raining." I say giving Phil a sad smile

"That would be wonderful thank you..." He stops realising that I haven't told any of them my name

"Oh its Y/n my names Y/n" I say moving to the side to let the boys into my house which they gladly step in out of the cold.

*Time skip to later on in the night*

Ghostbur's POV

Me and Y/n sat on her couch enjoying each others company while Phil and Techno shared her bed.

"I just realised your the necromancer that Tommy keeps going on about!" I shout with a chuckle

"Tommy? As in the kid who came to me because he needed some where to hide because of my brother Dream?" she says to me and I look at her shocked

"Your brother is Dream?" I ask in a quiet scared voice like she would hurt me at any time

"Hey don't worry I'm not going to hurt you I'm nothing like the heartless basterd of a brother I have, he threatened me with execution his own sister, so ive got nothing for him anymore" she says tears welling in her eyes. Reaching out to touch her cheek with my icy hand I wipe any tears that had been shed away from her cheek. I look at her up and down and only now I realise that she has a scar running over her eye brow and down towards her soft looking lips. I let out a sight and pull her into a hug rubbing their back giving them a kiss on the head. It was around four thirty in the morning when I realise she fell asleep in my cold dead arms. I can't help but think, think that if I had been alive when I met her maybe then I would stand a chance to get with her. Wait no bad Ghostbur you have only just met her...But for some reason I cant help but be infatuated with her. Just everything about this young woman interests me. Her pretty H/l H/c hair, her E/c eye's and her soft pink lips that just look pleasant to feel against my own. But I have just met her so why do I feel like this? Why do I feel this way about her?

"Son?" I hear Phil's voice come from in front of me "Why are you crying?" He asks looking confused

"Dad, I um It's uh It's stupid really" I say wiping my own tears away

"You can tell me kiddo" He says smiling sitting in front of the glowing fire

"Dad when you met mum how did you know that you like her?" I ask subconsciously rubbing Y/n's back

"Well your mother was all I could think about at any point of the day, Why do you ask son" He replied looking at me in the eyes making me look back down at the sleeping girl on my chest to which he lets out a small 'oh'

"I don't know what to do i just met her and she's all I can think about and it feel so wrong yet so right but I'm also dead and I just I don't know any more Phil!" I say getting louder as I go on feeling Y/n stir in my arms i stop and look down at her seeing that she was still asleep I look back at Dad to see him smirking

"Well I think you've got a chance considering that were the only people she talks to other than villagers for trades" He says getting up and patting me on the shoulder "Try to get some sleep son" with that he walks away back to bed to sleep

*Time skip to 4 months down the line cuz I'm a lazy writer*

Y/n's POV

It's been four months since I met Ghostbur and I met and I have found myself slowly falling for the dead man. But the one thing that has made me realise that is the fact that he has basically moved in with me. But what I didn't realise is that through the forest from my clearing there is a snow biome where Techno's retirement home was sat. But that meant that when my brother went to find Tommy at Techno's house I got a lovely visit from my dick head of a brother.

"Why hello there sister, Ghostbur" He said just waltzing in my front door

"Dream what do you want?" I say to him with an angry look

"What can I pay a visit to my sister?" he asked coming farther into my home that used to be ours till he left for the SMP

"You don't get to say that I'm your sister after you threatened to kill me" I say looking him in that blank lifeless looking mask with the twisted psychopathic smile painted in black.

"Oh sister dearest you know why I threatened you with that and you know what you did to our mother" He said looking over at Ghostbur who had a confused face "Oh you haven't told your little friend here what you did? How you killed our mother in cold blood?" he said trying to gas light me to get a bad reaction out of me

"That's quite enough Dream. I want you to get out of my house now. And I never. Never want you to step foot inside of this house for as long as you live" I say in anger drawing my sword and pointing it at him. He rises his hands in the air and spins on his heels towards the door starting to retreat out of here

"Okay sister but just so you know I will not hesitate to kill you if you step out of line" He said disappearing out of my line of sight. After what felt like eternity I felt Ghostbur's hand on my shoulder and turn me towards his cold body pulling me into a hug

"was what he said...True?" he asks me all I can do is nod my shaky ands grab onto his jumper

"I'm sorry, I if you hate me that's fine I probably deserve it" I say into his chest

"hay no, I don't hate you I just want to know what happened" he said rubbing my back softly

"I...I was born with magic but only one person every one hundred years is born....so at the age of sixteen some people came to take me away but my mum got in the way and....they killed her and well Dream has blamed me for it saying I killed her that it was my fault...But I would never kill my own mother I loved her so much and so if you go outside to the back of the house there is a small grave for her that I made after he left that same day for the SMP when he was seventeen and that's the day he threatened to execute me if I ever try to bring those people anywhere near him so... after they taught me magic they left and they swore never to come near me again" I explained to him all of a sudden Wil let go of me and ran to his room and came back with something blue in his hands

"Your sad hare have some blue it will make yo better" he said handing me the blue automatically making me feel better

"Thank you Ghostbur I feel better now" I say looking up at him to find him staring at me with admiration on his face "hey Will? you okay there?" I ask him but I got no response but before I could ask him again I felt a cold pressure press on my lips It took me a couple seconds before I realised that it was the ghost boys lips and kissed back putting one of my hands on his cheek and the other on his shoulder his hands going around my waist. Pulling away from his lips and press my forehead to his and giggle.

"Phil told me I needed to do that at some point" he said a small smile on his face "I um Y/n if you couldn't already tell I really like you and I would love for you to be my girlfriend" He said to me

"Of course Will! I really like you too" I say leaning back into his cold soft lips kissing him again this time for longer than the last. Every kiss got longer and longer before eventually we where sat on the couch making out. But the make out session was cut short when the loud child burst into the house with Phil shouting after him and Techno not far behind him all three stopping at the door when they see the sight before them and Will And I pull away from each other embarrassed

"Well then... uh I think we will come back later come on boys" Phil says dragging his two other sons out behind him shutting the door quickly leaving me and Ghostbur alone again both of us look at each other and we start laughing soon enough falling asleep in each others arms in front of the crackling fire.

And Ghostbur swore that he could feel warmth after months of not being able to feel it and it was all because of me and loving the sweet ghost boy.

Ayyyyyyy its me here and have this sweet fluff for Ghostbur but I didn't plan on spending four fucking hours on this. Its longer than I spend on my school work which hopefully shows my dedication to this poor book.

[choibinn3]

get to know me game!!

tagged by: @tyunni

tagging: @tyuncafe this is suuper long btw so dont mind it if u dont wanna do it!! hehe

what day is your birthday? dec 8th, sunghoons bday 😥 (thats how i heard abt enhypen actually, my friend was like "OMGG u share a bday wirh my bias!!!!")

what’s your favorite color? pink <33 it makes me so happy

what’s your lucky number? 8!!! like my bday date :')

do you have any pets? no :(( want a kitty real bad though

how tall are you? skipping. no comment. next question.

how many pairs of shoes do you have? like THREE and i rotate between two ♥️

favorite song? kpop?? um rn fever by enhypen or ghosting.. non kpop would be amoeba by clairo (shits GOOD plz go listen to it)

favorite movie? not the biggest fan of movies, but im suuper into slasher films/horror!!! so maybe smthng from there??

what would your ideal partner be like? jungwon ♥️ LMAO

do you want children? nope!! love kids but parenting doesnt sound like smthng id want to do unfortunately

have you gotten in trouble with the law? not that i know od?? Dont tell anyone

bath or shower? shower.. i dont thinj ive ever taken a legitimate bath b4, always showered

what color socks are you wearing? soz to say this but socks suck!! also irs 11pm and im in bed BUT THAT STILL STANDS

favorite type of music? like genre?? no clue, but i typically like music that reminds me romantic pining (aka, fever ♥️ or around you by hyunjin)

how many pillows do you sleep with? pillows are four!!! plushies,?? infinite bitch!!

what position do you sleep in? curled up on my side hugging smthng hehe

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping? yk that sleep where like,, ure sleeping... but u feel awake the whole time?? and rhen u wake up fuckin groggy like uve just been lying there.. that.

what do you have for breakfast? no breakfast!!! 2 cool 4 that. also i wake up at like uhh 11am-3pm sometimes

have you ever tried archery? NO!! sharp objections should not be in my possession apparenrly. tch 😒

favorite fruit? strawberries? mangoes?? anything fresh

favorite swear word? no favs, jm too indecisive for that :((

do you have any scars? yea, i dont have a cool story for them though.. i was just a scab picker kid lol

are you a good liar? SHITTY. horrible, the worst. i cant lie dor shit nd it gets me all shcoked everytime someone is like "mai ure LITERALLY so bad at this" during a lying game lol

what’s your personality type? istp-t!! same as huening whoooo 🎉🎉

what’s your favorite type of girl? mean girls...... i jusy like mean ppl in general but mean gurls have a special space in my heart ♥️!! theyre so demonized but as long as theyre not acrually complete assholes (like homophobes, bigots yk?) they r everythint 2 me

innie or outtie? gots an innie :]

left or right handed? right

favorite food? no favs again!!! but SPICY FOOD YUMM

favorite foreign food? probs uhh Bún bò Huế!!! im viet so idk if that counts as "foreign" but omgg ITS SO GOOD

are you clean or messy? messy!! i feel like everythings much more comfy and natural.. not like too messy though

most used phrase? BARK BARK (not proud of this one guys)

how long does it take you to get ready? like 40-60mins... ONLY BC i zone out tthough and forgot im meant to be gettinf ready LOL

do you talk to yourself? Yes. i do <3 thats also why i read&write fanfictions

do you sing to yourself? mhm!!! esp when the songs too good i sing along or throughout the day

are you a good singer? actually, literally not sure at all. i took chorus since like elementary school tho if that helps

biggest fear? heights and commitment ♥️

are you a gossip? what does this mean. but i think?? i like heaeinf gossip but im not tonna get outta my way to talk abt it ?

do you like long or short hair? on myself short!!! but guys&girls nd just everyone in general look so damn good with long hair sometimes

favorite school subject? none lol <33!! school sucks this question pains me every time i see it on back2school answer sheets

introvert or extrovert? introvert, im a lil hermit all cooped up inside my room all the tim3 ://

what makes you nervous? ppl i like are cool!!! or like ppl in general, i cant even order my boba by myself dude

who was your first real crush? i THINK. it mightve been my bff from when i was in 5th grade.. idk if this counts bc i (THINK) but like...... i cried so fucking much when we stopped being friends. it felt like a breakup and im still not over it tbh (tmi?)

how fast can you run? not fast at all but i can JUMP

what color is your hair? black, still have virgin hair!!

do you like your own name? umm tbh no, but my screen name (mai) is my middle name anyways so i dont think that matters too much

what makes you angry? people who dont listen :( pisses me off but tbh i dont get angry often

do you want a boy or a girl as a child? NEITHER. if i had to pick maybe boy but NOOOOO

what are your strengths? ive been told im endearingly stupid (like twice by the same friend) and it stuck with me. like AWWW :(( U THINK IM ENDEARINGG??

what are your weaknesses? id say im too socially anxious, public speaking makes my hands shake and i cant speak so its real bad

what’s the color of your bedspread? like white with blue polka dots ^_^

what’s the color of your room? this nice beige color,, like the color of my blog rn actually!!!! i based it off of jungwons color scheme but ig this works too

[happytsukki]

common sense

k. tsukishima

you were a fool. but only for tsukishima. (f! reader)

a/n: ive been reading the manga and chapters 370+ literally have me bawling, im so emotionally attached. also fun fact you cant get your drivers license in japan till you graduate high school,,big rip for (y/n) and her food.

someone with common sense would’ve ran home to avoid the predicted forecast. they would’ve enjoyed safely arriving home without getting a single drop of rain on their uniform. but you lacked common sense.

the steady beat of raindrops hitting the ground accompanied by a strong gust of wind greeted you as you exited the school. you stood waiting, a bright green umbrella painted with purple triceratops in one hand while you rocked back and forth on your heels.

“what are you still doing here?” a voice suddenly asked, snapping you out of your trance. looking up you locked eyes with tsukishima causing a champagne pink hue to creep onto your cheeks.

“oh, i-uh, knew you didn’t have an umbrella, so i figured i would wait for you and we could walk together,” you beamed. tsukishima rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses, but you swore you could see the corners of his lips curl up.

you knew tsukishima. you knew he hated the rain and deep down, he appreciated your kind gesture even if he didn’t say it.

he grabbed the umbrella in your hand and opened it outside the safety of the building. he took two steps into the rain before turning around to realize you were still frozen on the steps of karasuno high. there you were, an idiot shivering from head to toe in the cold weather, yet you still had a smile painted across your face.

“are you gonna just stand there or are you actually coming?” he muttered, his eyebrows furrowing in slight confusion.

“coming!!” you cooed before running down the steps and practicing colliding with him as you pressed closer to him under the tiny umbrella. maybe you should’ve packed a bigger umbrella, but you definitely weren’t complaining.

you walked in unison, small drops falling onto your sweater as you could barely fit under the umbrella with the beanpole. you took notice of one hand tucked away in the warmth of his jacket and the other clutching the umbrella for the two of you. and with your warm gloves, you placed a hand over his.

“sorry, your hand seemed a little cold” you blurted out, slightly afraid he would take his hand away in disgust. but he didn’t, he let you hold his hand. you could finally release the breath you were holding and smiled. rainy days never felt good. the sky may have been dark and gloomy, but being with him felt as if it was another spring day, the sun beaming brightly and the birds chirping.

your walk consisted of asking tsukishima about his volleyball club season and him asking about your classes. you wanted to amuse him, to hear his laugh just once, so you told him the story of how you went to school thinking you math test only to find it was actually an english test, receiving a grade no higher than your age.

and miraculously, he laughed. it was subtle and quiet, but it took away your breath and made your heart race.

tsukishima halted, finally arriving at his home. he glanced up at the sky before catching it slowly transform from a color to a baby blue.

“it stopped raining—“ you cut him off midsentence, grabbing the sides of his face and pulling him closer before you placed a quick peck on his lips.

“bye!” you shouted as you ran away. leaving poor tsukishima standing there, dumbfounded as to why his heart was beating so fast and why his knees turned into complete jelly.

you liked tsukishima. and luckily, he liked you too.

someone with common sense would’ve finished their homework and took advantage of a night free of worry. they would’ve enjoyed a full eight hours of sleep while dreams danced through their mind. but you lacked common sense.

the kitchen clock read 2:18, you were growing impatient waiting for cookies in the oven. before your crazy attempt to make lunches and treats for the entire karasuno team, you studied for your history test and finished a 10-page essay due the next day.

with your apron stained with all sorts of condiments and food, you glanced at the pile of bento boxes placed on your dining table. each decorated with a name of every player on karasuno’s mens volleyball club, of course including the cutest managers and best coaches.

the lunch box on top, reading my tsukki, my moon made with extra love and care for you boyfriend.

tomorrow was the miyagi prefectural qualifiers and as much as you wanted to be there, you had school. you longed to be in the crowds, screaming for tsukki and karasuno at the top of your lungs. so of course, you felt guilty for not being able to give your support. an alternative? food.

beep beep. the timer of the oven finally went off and you breathed a sigh of relief. you weren’t sure how long you could keep your eyelids open. your tiredness must’ve gotten to your head because without a second thought you opened the oven and reached for the scorching pan.

you spewed a variety of curses quietly in an attempt to not wake your parents, but the pain was intolerable. after taking the cookies out with the opposite hand, throwing them in a container and trying to type out ‘how to deal with burns’ with your pinky while one hand held ice (not a good idea) to the burn— you fell asleep on the couch.

not even 3 hours later, you woke up. oh the things i do for this boy. you shook your head, a smile creeping onto your face just thinking about him. you quickly throw on a hoodie and carefully place the food into a basket attached to your bike.

the sun had barely come up, just peeking from the horizon. it was way too early. riding your bike to karasuno while you rubbed your eyes constantly and yawned nonstop was a challenge. you almost tipped over several times. but once you arrived you were greeted by a horde of “hey it’s y/n!!” but the only thing you could really hear was “y/n what are you doing here?”

“well, good morning to you too, tsukki,” you chirped, taking the food out of your basket and carefully distributing it to everyone.

“wow y/n, you really didn’t have to do this.” daichi said. “but this does look amazing.” sugawara butt in, admiring the cute design. “y/n you’re the best, seriously!!” praised hinata, already shoving a small bite into his mouth for a quick ‘taste.’

when you handed tsukki his, confusion and worry came across his face. “but— look at you y/n. you look terrible.” he spat, reaching over to inspect your face. he titled your chin up and pulled your eyes wide.

“is that what you tell your girlfriend after she spent all night to make you lunch?” you pouted, slightly hurt from how he reacted.

“i think y/n looks pretty, like always.” yamaguchi gushed from afar.

“shut up yamaguchi.” “sorry tsukki!!”

“but you know thats not what i meant. i’m just worried about, you look like you haven’t sleep at all.” he shook his head.

“hey! technically i slept for 3 hours.” you argued, earning a signature tsukishima eye roll from the man himself.

“you’re an idiot, y/n. but thank you.” he muttered and placed a kiss on your forehead. suddenly, coach ukai cut in and yelled for everyone to get in the van. groaning, tsukki squeezed you into a hug.

“sorry i can’t be there, but win for me and i’ll be there next match. i promise” you pouted, adding an extra boost of encouragement for tsukishima. these days, you’d noticed how passionate he’d become about the sport and no words could describe your happiness over this.

after waving bye to the team and wishing them the best of luck, you stood alone in the parking lot. happy and excited for what was to come for the karasuno boys volleyball club. but stupid for thinking you could make it through the rest of your day on the mere 3 hours of sleep.

you were an idiot— a fool, perhaps.

someone might as well hand you a jester hat and shoes, bells included, of course. because you were a fool, for tsukishima kei only.

someone with common sense would’ve followed the sign saying “only players allowed on court.” they would’ve yelled praises of encouragement from the stands and just sent a text. but you lacked common sense.

as soon as you saw red liquid ooze from tsukishima’s hand, you hoped out of your seat and grabbed your belongings without hesitation. oh no. your heart sunk and before yachi could even try to calm you down you were already running.

past the crowds and down the stairs leading to the court. you sprinted towards the karasuno team, completely ignoring the officials yelling at you.

you gently pushed through tsukishima’s teammates and an angry expression reached your face once you met eyes with the boy.

“tsukishima kei, are you stupid?” you cursued at him. his face turns a slight pink as his teammates snicker at your typical girlfriend antics. meanwhile, several tournament officials walked over to check on tsukishima’s condition and kick you off the court since you weren’t a player. but you didn’t care. you took his hurt hand into yours, putting your face closer to examine the extent of his injury.

he winced in pain causing your anger to melt away. “you almost gave me a heart attack, you have no idea how worried i was up th-“ you blab on before tsukishima reassures you.

“y/n i’m still breathing, right? you care about me that much huh?” tsukishima smirked as he tried to hide the pain he felt in his right hand.

“okay lovebirds, why don’t you go to the medical office together and get it checked out? we’re going to need you back on the court, tsukishima.” coach ukai quickly sends the two of you away in hopes of him returning by the fifth set.

akiteru and yachi anxiously follow as you and tsukishima rush to the medical office. they wait outside and the doctor tells you two that only his pinky is discolated and the rest of his fingers are fine, so he can still return but he has to wait for the bleeding to stop. the doctor excuses himself to get more bandages, leaving the two of you alone.

you stand up from your seat to stand in front of tsukishima. his face is serious, clearly still fixated on the game still going on at the moment. you wanted to give him peace but you couldn’t hold in how proud you were.

you go on to explain how amazed you were. “and when you jumped up to block, i knew ushijima had no chance— then BOOM! his spike goes straight down into the floor. i think i broke yachi’s eardums with my screaming. not to mention how hot you looked out there like what the hell??” you gushed, making tsukishima smile amidst his pain.

he pulled you in closer and wrapped his long arms around your torso, tucking his face into the comfort of your neck. like muscle memory, your hand finds its way to his back and began to rub circles.

“you’re really sweaty, tsukki. its kinda gross.” you whisper into his hear making him click his tongue in response. but despite the perspiration dripping down his back, you honestly didn’t mind.

tsukishima pulls away, his eyes wander around your face. his breath hitching at your every feature, especially at how your eyes possessed a unique twinkle that didn’t just resemble stars but the entire galaxy. then he remembers the day he fell in love with you, that day you walked home together in the rain.

“god y/n, you’re crazy you know that, right? but i love you.” he chuckles. “i know.” you proudly state while you try to hide the fact that your heart was physically hurting from how fast it was beating. “and i-“ you sprinkle a dozen kisses all over tsukishima’s face. one for eveything you loved about him.” love you too, kei” you say before pressing your swollen lips against his.

“now go out there and beat shiratorizawa’s ass!”

and that’s exactly what he does.

[credulouscanidae]

i had 2 breakdowns in the same day at work yesterday, to the point where i went home early. the first breakdown i managed to pull myself out of, spending 10 mins alone doing deep breathing and calming down, and i was proud of myself for actually giving the day another go; usually when i breakdown i cant even face the rest of the day or get back to it.

luckily the last breakdown happened in the last hour and a half of my shift, but yeah....

they were both caused by the same coworker, or moreso the way she spoke to me both times were the straws that broke the camels back. 

still...im still so severely shaken even 24 hours later, i couldnt stop dissociating, a week of bad sleep and nightmares have cumulated into an almost crisis, and last night i self harmed for the first time in years. i was really fortunate to have my roommates opening up a conversation w me and i got to vent about the day.

my coworker made me feel so shocked and isolated, the things she was talking to me about + her delivery of it insinuated some deep long-term personal resentment against me, and it was something i wouldve not picked up from a mile away because i considered us to be quite close as workmates.

its seriously making me not wanna go back to work, to the point where im only into the evening of my first weekend day and im already trying to fight back a panic attack. the “incident” got sorta unresolved, because i was so beside myself when it happened, and she immediately flipped to consoling me when i started crying again.

im still swimming in my head “what did i do wrong? why was she so mad at me?” because it sounds like a misunderstanding (to put it as briefly as possible, our manager quit when i had only been there for about 3 months, but before that she was my trainer. i utilised all my coworkers knowledge and help to learn about grooming, but i definitely have been working w the other bather [the coworker in question] the closest. yesterday she practically confronted me saying she was told by the bosses she was my trainer, not the old manager, and she and her authority over me had felt disrespected and undermined, she scoffs at me when i explain i didnt realise she was meant to be that directly in charge of me, and says i was told. to add, i literally have no memory of disrespecting her authority and have in fact been the one solid grounding for her since all her drama w the other coworkers, as i said, we were close, and to have to literally throw this 180 change of behaviour at me out the blue has left me so shaken to say the least, i apologised to her that i made her feel that way but i just broke down sobbing)

anyway.......sigh.....

ive been dealing with imposter syndrome ever since i got this job last year, i was originally shy and a bit reserved, but i buckled down and tried to do my best job possible, utilising everyone around me and supporting everyone. yes ive given into the drama (god theres so much of it) at times, but the bather coworker has always assured me i am “punching up” because she is technically above me when i vent. 

this was also coupled with management treating us like absolute shit during this lockdown. im so tired. the customers are so angry. i havent been able to switch off from work, i thought my work-life balance was bad enough beforehand but now im literally unable to sleep and having suicide and self harm relapses because of this stupid fucking job.

and i dont wanna quit. i would fucking hate myself because i have been beginning to vocalise to other coworkers how much im struggling, and i dont wanna quit and thereby proving im not cut out for this job- ive been with it 10 months and i still cant even convince myself i belong there.

theres so much bullying and bullshit going on. i dont wanna be weak and quit. im too passive and i understand i need to talk to this coworker about my issues with her. but she is extremely volatile and heightened and reactive, and bringing any sorta grievance to her in the past has either been met with excuses or self-depreacting comments, or a mix of both. its so much emotional labour, and the self-care part of me thinks “fuck this, i dont deserve to be feeling this way by others when ive only ever tried to be helpful and good at my job and train” but theres such a dominant part of me thats so scared and ashamed and confused. i still cant even process if my coworker was angry at me or angry at the lack of communication from management. but the way she was talking, she clearly had something stewing in her for a long time.

i cant do this anymore. 

[vivipuppy]

continued ask-

Brorre, the Dark Elf anarchist Druid who can converse with the plants and animals world unlike anyone else- but has never left a city in their life. Questions about what happens to a person when they will outlive the animals they can talk to, that they can have a TRUE bond with?

6) Who in the party do they relate to the most? I mean... the happy go lucky city boy charlie of course! They even both play music! Sure, idealogically theyre very very far from eachother. But thats not because charlie is purposefully undercutting things that brorre has spent their life understanding about the world around them- but because he’s so new at it. He doesnt understand the nuances that brorre has so much life experience understanding.

15) do they trust their party? why or why not?

Oh yeah! The only one they dont trust, actually, is like. Titus? But thats because of the curse that kills his friends. But they can handle titus, and put him down if need be. It was.... a very rocky start with Pori. But i think theyve gotten a grudging... not respect, but understanding of eachother. They get why they think the other way. But they also know pori isnt dumb enough to get herself killed.

21) do they follow their head, their heart, or their body?

do you. Sho you play in the same group as brorre. You know the answer to this question. Its heart! Their heart is so full of love!! Thats where the anger comes from. The really hot, harsh anger of the people who get hurt by people who dont need to hurt them. They’re so stupid that im afraid of getting killed because i wasted wild shapes when i should have saved them.

27) how do they mourn? Ive thought a lot about this.... about how brorre handles being an elf who can live for up to 500 years and yet can have a conversation with a rat who will die in 3, if its lucky. And i think when it comes to death, theyve stopped mourning. Its no longer something that hurts. Now, its become anger. When people are hurt, when they see titus struggling with his curse, when they see Charlie struggle with understanding that there are people in the world who are cruel to simply be cruel... it angers them. Thats the fire. Its why I prepare flame blade and gave them produce flame. Its why they threw a tantrum in the underdark. Anger is the core to Brorre. And not a bad anger, necessarily. Its a good one, anger from love. But its anger.

33) What makes them cry? I..... dont... think brorre cries anymore, at all.

39) Are their hands calloused or soft, or something else entirely? I think theyre very soft. Lots of magic and turning into other things, of talking to help solve issues. Violence ideally comes rarely, and if it does, magic solves it.

45) How do they hug people? TIIIIIIGHTLY. Gets the dirty druid smell on you. Dont think theyve GOT a strong hug, but they try.

54) What was their education like? Lots of talk about mining, caves, and funnily enough, about how certain governemnts (hesitate to call the underdark they were in a specific governmental system) work. They were born only to mine, to become a miner and expand the cities walls. In order to be ALLOWED to concieve a kid, their parents had to figure out what job they would have. So, ever since birth, that was the only thing they were taught. But in mining, you see, theres a foreman who barks orders to the rest of the workers who actually do the thing. And brorre didnt like that, and brorre began to see similarities to the world they grew up in. The rest you already know

57) what makes them angry? any injustice to their friends and loved ones. Go back to 27.

63) What fight has scared them the most? Strahd.Ive said it in character before, but to brorre, they often feel like prey to larger animals... but to strahd, who’s destroyed the future of the dark elves in barovia? They’re not even prey to him. And that scares them. For the first time in their life of being a pest, this is the first time theyve felt like a true INSECT.

69 nice) How would they describe their party members? In our sessions, already did! Pori is the Smart one, Brorre themselves is the pretty one, Bec is the funny one, Charlie is the happy one, and Titus is the hot one!

In seriousness, Pori is smart. Too smart. Sees the end of the problem and cares not at all about the method to solve it, or to understand the use of the 1 and the 2 that make up 3. Only cares that 3 is the answer..

Bec is smart, and funny, and needs to cheer up! People like her! She just doesnt feel comfortable with being liked, which like, brorre doesnt get? but brorre accepts. Lets her do her own thing, and bring her in when they feel she hasnt been able to say her own peice

Charlie... look back to the first question! Titus! Hot boy, sure, but inreality brorre has lots of thoughts on titus. Thoughts they dont really address, cause it makes them sad, and being sad makes them angry, but they cant direct that anger at anything. But titus is cursed to hurt his friends, to one day be envealoped and kill anybody nearby... and that hurts brorre, because thats all titus thinks he is. But brorre thinks hes very, truely kind. You dont become a monster hunter if you dont care about helping people. And its nice to help him slowly realise hes a person. To tell him that colors can be favorited, that he’s allowed to love things. Theres a lot brorre has to say about lifeline stuff... but we havnt had in game conversations about that. Which stucks. Cause its very integral to both our characters, the length of their life. But when it does, brorre wants to talk about how permanence doesnt exist, and temporary is ok.

[flockofdoves]

i feel really really weird this week. trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. like its certainly not the first time i’ve felt like this in my life but ive just not had my emotions so . not numbed? in so long or felt like crying totally unprompted or felt vaguely angry at random shit in a certain sort of way (which for something new then makes me feel super guilty because i used to be bad with how i went about anger and i guess i never really fully learned how to practice being normal about it i just started constantly suppressing it along with every other emotion so seeing myself angry about inconsequential shit even if im not acting on it makes me feel awful like people are potentially seeing my reaction to them when its not a justified thing even if i dont think i’m doing anything). like sure those were super normal in past parts of my life. maybe even in the context of my job which i guess i only quit just like 7 months ago now even if i otherwise felt numb through the year before that too. and not something surprising to emerge again bc it has in the past year too but just maybe not so much at once but on top of that just feel a bit paranoid about stuff like people reading my mind or bugs crawling on me (or imagining sensations like that or seeing that or w/e)

i guess in typing all this out when i think about it the one time i felt like this this past half year that i can think of (or at least pretty similar and notable in the way i felt weird minus the anger. actually i didnt feel angry til the past few days so i think thats just at like. being around someone whos made vaguely bigoted comments that i’m affected by but then feeling guilty for reading the worst into unrelated shit bc of that making me feel unsafe) is when my brothers girlfriend visited. and now this past couple weeks she visited and then my uncle visited and then my moms friend visited and in general just theres more invitations to see other people even not staying w us bc everyones vaccinated.

so i guess the biggest factor throughout all of that is like. having to get used to interacting with people that i havent interacted with much in this past over 2 years of being isolated while also simultaneously having my daily routines disrupted by that a bit?? which feels absolutely insane to me that that would have That disproportional of an effect and be something i really did not even know how to attribute at all until typing this out right now. like i really appreciate and have fun with a lot of those people its not bc i dislike them or literally anything like that i think this is just a bit of a deranged unexpected side effect of whatever fucking stage of isolation i’m at where instead of just feeling really stilted in conversation or feeling like i dont know how to normally talk to people or accidentally crying while talking to people or oversharing and being awkward like i have at various times throughout my 2 years and 4 months of isolation when i had brief periods of interacting with people i cared about and/or people around my age again, while sure a lot of that is still somewhat happening (but not the crying in conversation, that was once when i got to see friends from college once literally right before i really realized the pandemic was starting and i couldnt keep visiting after not seeing them for a year before then. i just havent seen any of those friends since)  i think its like. not knowing at all how to act normally around people but also not being as used to the people i am newly interacting with while my routines interrupted so whether i want to make a good impression around them in spite of that or am trying to be normal about feeling upset about shit people i dont know well but cant just not be around say or whatever  ig it just like. flares up my anxieties about what can tell from what i say or how theey take me and all that leads to intrusive thoughts and paranoia about not just giving off the wrong conversational things but literally people reading my mind and judging me for intrusive thoughts recursive cycle etc and all that just makes me feel exhausted and unsafe and useless and whatever etc and maybe subconsciously is bringing up a lot of reocurring emotional shit i’ve dwelled on but not cried about much at all this past half year idk. plus i’m just stressed about how much i really want to get done before starting to move and go back to school.

makes sense in explaining most of it in typing it out right now but nonetheless dont like that. isolation has had a lot of awful effects on me (literally i know i’m talking to so many other people in the world now with that its nothing special lol. ‘i was doing this for a year prepandemic’ is a stupid thing to emphasize 1 year is horrible enough and it just blends together) and i’ve long been terrified thinking about how it could be affecting me in more unforeseen and/or longterm ways but i think i was thinking i had a general sense of how my trouble with interacting with people again would manifest and i really dont like seeing that like. i literally did not fucking know how to connect my emotions and other shit recently to that til right now. better than not connecting it at all of course but i dont like it feeling so unconnected. in general have been very disconnected from emotions even outside of social interaction type stuff so of course thats something to work on too but idk just scary to realize maybe i dont even know the general shape of how my trouble “reintegrating into society” is gonna look like lol. and while i’m hoping it will feel better (but honestly probably a lot more intense emotions even if positive) with realizing this know i really even more cannot even begin to imagine how seeing people ive been close to in the past again will end up going when i get to that

[schiavonaintherye]

Melody (S.W.A.L.K) 1971 Livewatch

I have seen this movie. but not the whole thing (i got interupped the first time i watched it)... so here goes! 

movie load please

20 seconds of logos???

guitar song™

this movie is so nostalgic for no reason

Mark Lester and Jack Wild: did you mean, Oliver Twist and The Artful Dodger?

and tracy hyde shes here too

i love this movie sm wtf

can these credits end????

ok yes they can

70s film marching band scene

ornshaw drinking whiskey before band bc why not

danny is bby

mY mOtHeR dId It SiR

dannys mum is so annoying wtf

i really love tom ornshaw

run bitch run

The BB™

SET FIRE TO THE NEWSPAPER???

look at his lil face ❤

MELODY MY DAUGHTER

a gowdfish please

aww look at her 

“ive done all those things i wanna try something new” LIKE DRAWING TIDDIES? DANIEL

“ah a boy gave it to me at school” was it ornshaw, i bet it was ornshaw

BITCH YOU RIPPED DANNYS TITS DRAWING

melody girl you cant play that fucking recorder

this film has great cinematography wtf

Melody Perkins Deserves The World !!

the gang go to school

Ornshaw Gets Bullied

“the jewish boys may now leave for private study” what about the jewish girls?? there’s clearly girls in the class?? why do they have to listen to the bible

ornshaw’s porn bible

DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHO JESUS WAS???

dont smoke at school kids

okay so shes peggy, why is she credited as maureen. who the fuck is maureen

hear me out, muriel is a lesbian. noone kisses for over five minutes unless youre proper horny and this bitch is like thirteen. she also says “i dont know, i never used to kiss boys”, because SHE DOESNT. shes lying because she doesnt kiss boys. shes closeted and thats whys she says she does. also, she got angry at peggy for saying she fancied a boy.

W I C

“saucy turtles make terrible bathmats, charley” okay okay jeez

ornshaws accent is everything

The Gang sneaking through the fence what will they do

uh oh danny

AWH YOURE BARMY

thats def gonna explode later

ornshaw gets kicked off the bus

but now hes on it

ornshaw and danny have such a wholesome friendship too bad melody ruins it oh wait

you’ve heared of ornshaw gets kicked off the bus now get ready for... ornshaw gets kicked out of the strip club!

you cant get a taxi!!! watch me hoe

where did ornshaw get the chewing gum from wtf

“shes always talking about people like you...” OH OKAY DANNYS MUM IS CLASSIST

“he could do with a heart attack!” WOAH OKAY

time skip to school

oh no danny’s seen melody

“we have three admirers of the dance!” ah shit

ah so maureen is the girl in green

why is ornshaw just standing there

FREE YOURSELVES

the girl gang is hilarious i love them

Muriel Kisses A Tombstone

uh oh dannys been found out

“HES A COWARD CMON”

ornshaw just yeeted his cat

i hate dannys mother sm

assembly time, an iconic part of british comprehensive school, since covid, i cant say i miss it

danny and melody !!

DANNY PLAYS CELLO THIS IS IMPORTANT INFO

melody and her friend are there because plot

melody sweetie baby i love you but you cant play the recorder

THEYRE PLAYING IN HARMONY DKDJSKDJSJKK 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

this is cute as fuck

melody is babey

oh explosives time??

i just dubbed these kids ornshaw and the pyrotechnics crew and it fits

dannys parents are annoying

i quite literally hate them

DANNY SPILT HIS COKE ITS SUCH A SIN

“neviw”

melody girl are you okay

melody are you lying about getting raped

oh time skip to school

we’ve hardly seen ornshaws home life so when will we properly meet him??

god i fucking love ornshaw its mad

oh this is an iconic scene if there ever was one

“go on tom dance with her” oh the ONE TIME ornshaw is called by his first name

youre mad !!

“girls are a load of snotty nose little so and sos” ornshaw aro king

is ornshaw.. scared of women

whatddya mean i dont dance very well!?

is it bad i lowkey crackship peggy and ornshaw now

YOU DANCE STUPID!

no one:

ornshaw: kicks peggy in the shin because he cant dance

“you big fat fool” yikes

danny u ok

ALL ORNSHAW AND HIS MATES DO IS CREATE EXPLOSIVES DJDKJSKt

oh it worked for once

i feel so fucking sorry for melody wtf

bb 🥺

im at the bit where melody is crying while putting on her mothers makeup 

SWEETIE ITS OKAY 

OH TIME SKIP TO SPORTS DAY! 

this film is so fast were already an hour in!

ornshaw giving actually solid life advice?? are you sure this is the same movie

“you youre gonna be bloody useless!”

i literally love ornshaw so much 

FUCK DANNYS MUM

GO ON DANNY 

YES MY BOY

time skip to school 3982903843290

wtf is a young latin scholars book

lahtimah

not ass latimer, arse

i hate the latin teacher

ornshaw every second: right uh erm um uh so yes sir oh uh mhm

*ornshaw and danny shoving pillows up their underwear*

“dont worry about it!!” dude hes getting spanked by the latin teacher ofc hes gonna worry about it

ornshaw and latimah

“vacate your mouth”

“because its a silly out of date language sir!!!” hes not wrong

uh oh 

what will slapping ornshaw’s ass with a dap even gonna do???

oh hi melody forgot about you

AWH DANNY SWEETHEART

“cmon danny dont let her see you cry!” i want a friend like ornshaw man

melody is just STANDING THERE LIKE GIRL LEAVE

“you can buzz off now love, tara, tooduhloo” have i said i love ornshaw? because i love ornshaw

danny dont abandon ornshaw !!

oh this is sad

danny? danny?? danny!!!??? DANNY!!?? 🥺🥺🥺

ORNSHAW RIGHTS MAN

ive felt sorry for literally all three of these kids now

ah fuck now ornshaws having a mental breakdown in the school halls

danny and melody’s relationship is so innocent and wholesome 

this is literally so bittersweet, like we’re seeing danny and melody being all cute and happy but we know that back in school ornshaw is literally having a breakdown over them

im tearing up over a movie about schoolchildren in puppy love

“will you love me that long?” “of course! ive loved you a whole week already!”

“hes come to tea! his name is daniel!” melody hes not your pet

melodys dad seems so cool why was he arrested

donald????

i genuinely love melody’s dad 

melody dramatically eats toast

time skip to school AGAIN

OH GOD I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

melody and danny are out on a date having fun and its the same song playing as the scene earlier on when danny and ornshaw went off somewhere at the start of the movie, melody has quite literally replaced ornshaw

i have real tears rn 

they skipped school to go to weymouth

danny and melody are literally adorable man

“shall we get married?” arent yall like 12????

oh back to school they got in trouble for skipping

apparently the poor cast got spanked for real and like yikes

we want to get married :D

ITS NOT MENT TO BE FUNNY!!

leave danny alone!

leave melody alone!

ornshaw please stop

ornshaw stop taunting him this is gonna end shittily

OH SHIT 

THEYRE STRAIGHT UP FIGHTING 

ORNSHAW AND DANNY ARE MF WRESTLING EACHOTHER TO THE GROUND

okay now ornshaw is literally beating him up okay

danny this is your fault for ditching him for melody sorry

top ten best anime fight scenes

latin man is back because plot

DID ORNSHAW GIVE HIM A BLOODY NOSE

i’m sorry danny 😭😭

ORNSHAW. DESERVES. THE. FUCKING. WORLD. AND. MORE.

let melody and danny get married!

wait so if 20 is twice as old as her then shes.. ten?? i think

melody ily

“all i want to do is be happy” BABY

OH FUCK YOU MRS LATIMER

oooh

THEYRE GOING TO GET MARRIED BY THE RAILWAY 

ornshaws unnamed friend is the true hero of this movie

is this the movie climax???

run! ornshaws unnamed friend! run!

IM SORRY THE’RE LITERALLLY GETTING MARRIED I’M 😭

“we are gathered here today to join this man and woman in holy matrimony.. shaddup”

ITS NOT FUNNY ITS SERIOUS

IS ORNSHAW STRAIGHT UP MARRYING THESE TWO IS HE THEIR VICAR

HE IS AS WELL

“DICKS IS COMING!!!” as soon as they were getting the rings

RUN !!!!

ornshaw just threw the bible at his re teacher from the re scene at the start i love him

DANNYS MUM HAD IT COMING

name a more iconic trio than melody perkins, danny latimer, and tom ornshaw, i’ll wait

GO PEGGY!

ORNSHAWS UNNAMED FRIEND IS GONNA FINALLY GET HIS BOMB WORKING!

YES

GO ORNSHAWS UNNAMED FRIEND

“i’ll get you ornshaw!” dude how is this his fault its yours for unterupting the wedding latin man

again ouf is the true movie hero

wait latin man is dicks??? whos wannabe remus lupin then????

this just in: ouf is actually named stacey

oh god thats actually such a bittersweet ending

melody and danny trolleying off into the sunset

im actually crying like a baby rn

god that was such a good movie