#ive got the first half done and someone else is working on the other half

[lilbitdepressed27]

Lorraine Day/Fem implied G!Preader

Summary: modern AU you're a helping farm hand at the Days

Warnings: death, violence a little bit.

WC: 4.9k

Author's Note: been wanting to do one for Lorraine. So here it is. Ive also got two AUs for Tara almost done:D. Hopefully they’re done soon. Well hope y'all like it. And like always. Not proofread, so sorry for any mistakes.

It was your second week of working for the Days farm. You had grown around horses and became extremely handed in training horses. Even at such a young age you had a connection with animals. You had grown up wanting to be a veterinarian. Now as senior in high school you landed a job working as a horse trainer. Back in your home town you had helped your grandfather train horses. It was a task you loved doing as a kid. You had missed doing that when you moved to the states a month ago. Your mother also worked for the Days and she told Mr.Day about you.

He had given you a chance and for the past week you had heavenly improved one of the young horses that had been very stubborn. The horse still had his moments but you worked hard to make him listen. You always carried sugar cubes or carrots with you. Using treats to make him listen. It was a way that had always worked for you.

It was a beautiful day outside, the weather was perfect. Not too hot, not too cold. It was the perfect type of weather to have Dante (the horse you were training) out and about. You were also helping the horse be around other horses. Mr.Day had said that he had bought Dante from someone who had no idea how to care for a horse. Dante had been alone and had been neglected his first year of life. So it was a little hard for him to get used to other horses.

"You're doing good kid. Look at him it's like he knows you'll give him a treat if he's good." Mr.Day had been observing how you worked with Dante. He had watched from the moment you stepped foot into the paddock, how Dante kept his eyes on you. He had watched how you spoke to the horse in your native language. The way you spoke so softly and gently to Dante. Showing him you weren't going to hurt him. He had watched how you would award Dante for the smallest things with a treat. Showing him he was a good boy. But also being firm with him when he did something bad.

It had taken him and a few others to even attempt to put on the bridle. They had all been unsuccessful. But after two days of you being with Dante he had let you put on the bridles with no hassle. He wasn't going to lie. He had been a bit jealous. He had spent so much money on Dante only for someone else to be the favorite. He smiled nevertheless. Once he was done with his other work he would stop by to see your progress. And he was honestly amazed. Dante had taken such a liking to you.

"All he needed was some love sir." You smiled back at him, fixing your hat. You like Mr.Day he was a nice man. Letting your mom and you work here. The way he interacted with every single one of his workers was admirable.

"What have I-"

You turned at the sound of a van coming down the driveway. The van looked out of place in place like this. You turned back to Dante who nudged you forward. He had been wondering around the paddock with the saddle on his back. You wanted him to get used to it first before getting on. It was the second day of him wearing it.

"Great job Y/n keep up the good work." 

You nodded as he walked away. Going back to work. You handed the half of an apple to Dante who happily took it. You patted his head moving to get on his back. You moved slowly and gently. Making sure not to scare the horse. You sat on his back as he stood still.

"Good boy Dante. Good boy." You reached over and gave him the other half of the apple. You held his reins wanting him to get used to following the direction of the pull.

"You're doing great Dante. You're such a good boy." At the sound of his neighing you smiled and continued the process. Giving him small treats in award for his good behavior.

You had just taken off his saddle after putting him back in his stable after a good day of training. "Good job today buddy. You did good. Now get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow." You closed the gate to his stable after petting his head. You left the stables looking for your mom. It was almost time to leave and you were starving.

"Come on honey. Let's go. The Days are hosting a small party and they invited us. Don't worry I said maybe another time. I know how tired and hungry you get."

You sighed in relief. You weren't really up to being at a party. Tomorrow was another day and it was probably going to be harder cause Dante was set to make new friends.

*

You and your mother had arrived early at the Days. The sun was out and you were excited. Dante had come a long way. You knew he was a nervous one, which are usually the mostly dangerous ones. But you had a plan.

"Good morning Dante." You smiled when the horse stuck his head out from his stable at the sound of your footsteps approaching. He neighed excitedly, you chuckled and got his bridle. Putting it on after brushing him down. You lead him out of the stables. Another horse was already out, it was the horse you knew as Princess. It was a beautiful all light brown horse. You could see a girl riding the horse from a distance. They were on the other side of paddock.

You felt Dante nudging you forward with his head. You continued your walk to the paddock. Padding Dante's head as you closed the gate to the paddock. Letting Dante a few minutes to roam as you got everything ready for todays training. You had gathered the treats, along with the saddle. You had a few other workers help you divide the paddock. In the stables Dante was far from the other horses, he had shown signs of aggression towards other horses. Mr.Day had to put him in an other stable to make sure Dante didn't hurt himself.

The more you worked with Dante, the more realized that it wasn't aggression. It was fear. Dante had been by himself since he had been born. He just didn't know how to interact with other horses. You were to fix that.

"So you're the new trainer daddy has been talking about." The sound of a sweet but sudden voice had startled you. Turing to the sound of the voice to be faced with a beautiful dark haired woman. A beautiful smile directed your way, the dimples on display had you weak to the knees.

"Uh yes Ms.Day." You knew Mr.Day had a daughter. You just didn't think she would be so beautiful.

"Oh please, call me Lorraine."

Her southern accent was just so attractive, so soothing. You could hear her talk all day. You smiled towards her.

"Nice to you meet you ma'am." You tipped your hat towards her, smiling bit more when she returned the smile. Seeing the dimples on full display was a sight you'd want to see more.

"He looks more approachable now. You have done such great job. Daddy couldn't even get his bridle on."

You smiled feeling a bit proud of Dante's achievements so far. "He just needed some lovin and a bit of patience."

"Mmh well you done a fine job, I didn't catch your name."

"Thank you and it's Y/n."

*

Lorraine watched from the window as the horse trainer rode Dante. It had been a week since she met you and she couldn't stop thinking about you. The way you spoke to not just Dante but also the other animals. Your smile, your eyes, your voice, your laugh. You. She had spent most her time with you. Getting to know you, how you were a straight A student, how you wanted to become a veterinarian.

She knew that what she was feeling for you was wrong, it was wrong. Cause after all she had a boyfriend. A boyfriend she was planning to breakup with, but a boyfriend nevertheless.

"What are you staring at?"

The sudden presence of her mother had startled her. "Mom! What are you doin'? I was just-Enjoyin' the view?"

"Mama!" The blush on her cheeks had her own mother laughing at her.

"Can't blame you honey. Y/n is very handsome. Gotta say if I weren't married-Mother!"

"Aw I'm only joking. It's a shame you aren't single. You both would make such a cute couple."

Lorraine looked away from her mother to look back at you. You were handsome. You were breathtaking. She watched as you smiled at Dante. There was something about you, something that captivated her. She wanted nothing more than to spend time with you. To know you even more. And if she was own thing, it was persistent.

*

"Who's this church mouse. Hiding her all for yourself?"

You jumped up from your leaning down position when a hand touched your backside. Turning around to see an average height brunette. She leaned into your space as you stepped back you looked behind her to see Lorraine standing there with a scowl in her face.

"Leave her alone Max." Lorraine stepped away from her boyfriend to stand in the small space between you and Max. The way Maxine touched you had her feeling a sense of protectiveness. Especially with how uncomfortable you looked.

"Is that what you want sugar."

"Uh yea." You took a step away from Lorraine when she brushed her back side with your front. You had heard her let out a small gasp as she did. She had been so close to your front, you hoped she didn't feel anything. Afraid of what she might think.

"Okay than sugar. I'll be here when you change your mind."

You watched as she walked away, moving your gaze to a boy with glasses who had been glaring at you throughout the whole interaction.

"I'm RJ. Lorraine's boyfriend. Who are you?"

"Y/n." You couldn't help but to feel the disappointment. Of course someone like Lorraine wouldn't be single. You felt your shoulder slump just a bit. You didn't like the way this guy was trying to size you up. The way he was looking at you was giving you the creeps.

"Say sweetheart ever think of going into the movie business?"

"I'm not really an actress." You said as took off your gloves putting them in your back pocket. Facing the older man that had a cowboy hat.

"Oh we don't really do acting if you're catching my drift."

You furrowed your eyebrows confused. Not acting in a movie? What could he possibly-Oh. You felt your eyes widen.

"There we go. Now, if you're interested in making some extra cash. Give me a call." He winked after putting a small card in your chest pocket. Padding your shoulder as he walked away. You fingers took out the card. Your mom has been needing more money.

Lorraine had seen the whole thing as RJ spoke to her. But she hadn't heard a single word that had come out of his name. The bitterness, the jealousy, the protectiveness. She was feeling too much. Just the thought of one the girls touching in such way had her feeling in such way, a way she had never felt.

*

You never pictured yourself as someone to do...those type of movies. Not to mention the extra appendage you had hanging between your legs. It was something you never really talked about. If you did it, you wondered how much money you'd make.

"Are you considering it?"

The sweet southern voice had startled you. Turning your head to see your favorite brunette. You weren't really good at reading people but you weren't blind. You could see the frown that was on her beautiful face. Even though she was trying to hide it.

"I don't know. Maybe? My mama can use the extra cash." You shrugged looking back at the sunset. You had finished your work a while ago and were now just enjoying the sunset.

"If you're looking for extra cash, I can talk to my daddy-No, you don't have to do that." You refused to accept that. You didn't want them to think that you were using Lorraine for extra cash.

"Would you be comfortable with, doing that?"

You turned your head to look at Lorraine. The sun making her freckles stand out more. "Maybe? I don't know. Have you joined them?" You couldn't help but to ask.

"Me? No. RJ doesn't let me."

You furrowed your eyebrows at her. RJ did seem like a controlling type. "Oh, you should do what ever you set your mind to 'Raine." Cheeks hearing up at the slip of the nickname.

Lorraine also felt her cheeks heating up, no one calls her 'Ranie. She liked the nickname. More than what RJ calls her. He had settled on calling her Lori, which she hated. But Raine sounded so much better. Especially since it was coming from your lips.

*

"Come on Dante be nice. Make friends, who knows maybe you'll find yourself a girlfriend." It was another day and you had another horse on the other side of the fence. Princess. She was Lorraine's horse. You watched as Dante got closer to the female horse. Sniffing her, Princess was nice and calm letting Dante do as he pleased. He let out an excited neigh. You smiled when he didn't show the aggression he once had.

You sat on the fence as you watched Dante and Princess run back and forth.

"Well looks like they are getting along just fine."  Ever since that day you had grown much closer to Lorraine. A lot closer than before. You both told each other everything. Well mostly everything. She now knows about your extra appendage. You had honestly been mortified when she asked. She had been sitting right in front of you while you both rode Dante. It had been truly mortifying. You couldn't keep your little friend down.

Lorraine on the other hand had never felt so hot and bothered. She didn't care about your...extra appendage. If anything she wanted to-, her whole body heated up at just the mere thought.

Part of you had felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. Seeing that Lorraine didn't seem bothered by your difference.

Lorraine had never touched her self in such way that night. The only thoughts in her mind as she pleasured herself was you.

You smiled at the sound of your favorite voice. Seeing her dimpled smile as you looked down at her. She looked awful red, the heat of today must be really bothering today. She barely reached the top of the paddock fence. You chuckled as you got off the fence to stand beside her.

"Well hello to you to 'Raine." You tipped your hat, loving the blush on her cheeks. You loved how easy it was to fluster her.

Lorraine had loved the nickname you gave her. It was a name you only used. The warmness that spread in her heart had her almost swooning. "Hi Y/nn." She couldn't help the smile that made its way on to her face. The way you were looking down at her with your arms crossed. Your arm muscles bulging through your tight shirt. She was sure the blush on her cheeks had gotten bigger. She just hoped you couldn't tell.

"So how have you been. I heard you were going on trip with your boyfrie-we leave in two days and I'm not dating him anymore." She gladly accepted the side hug that you offered. Your warm body pressed on to hers. She leaned into your embrace. Feeling herself relax as you ran your fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry to hear that 'Raine." You weren't. You had met RJ and even though he seemed nice at first. Once you got to know him more, he was a complete asshole. He talked down to Lorraine, spoke to her like her opinion didn't matter. You had wanted to punch his teeth in when he kept degrading her as a person. But a look from her had you biting your tongue.

"No you ain't. You hated RJ just as much as daddy did." She giggled, remembering how you would glare at RJ any time he would cut her off when she was talking.

You let out a small laugh, before letting Lorraine go so you could continue doing your job. Taking some hay from the truck to feed Dante and Princess.

"They want you to come, Wayne said he's been waiting for you to call, you know."

"I got to thinking about that and I don't know maybe I'll give it a try." Your eyes never leaving hers. A confidence you never felt before, flowing off you in waves it felt like.

Lorraine bit her lip to hide her smirk. "Maybe you should."

*

The confidence you felt before had all and vanished. Wayne had been excited when he heard you were tagging along. The vision he was seeing had apparently been upgraded. You were now gonna have a roll of the ranchers helper. One that would have a sex scene with one of the daughters. Which happened to be Lorraine.

Lorraine had asked to be in the movie. RJ had tried to fight it but no one listened to him. The look shared between you and Lorraine had been filled with so much. But yet no words came out. The cabin that Wayne had rented looked like something out of a horror movie. The elderly couple also gave you a creepy vibe.

"Okay, ladies. Are you ready? And don't worry about those old folk." Wayne said in excitement. They had already filmed some scenes, now you were being led into a room. Anxiety slowly making its way through your mind. You saw RJ holding the camera first. He refused look at you. You were nothing but a towel and your sports bra. Seeing as you would be naked, you had to tell Wayne and the others about your little friend. Surprisingly they had taken it well. Maxine making a joke about wanting to see it. A joke Lorraine didn't find funny.

Upon entering the room, you were left frozen on your feet. There near the bed was Lorraine getting her hair done by Maxine and Bobby. As much as you tried not to, you felt yourself harden. She was in just her panties and yellow bra. A sight you were now for sure to fantasize about.

"Wait! Before we begin none of you are virgins right?"

You and Lorraine both shook your heads.

With excitement Wayne led you to the bed and had you lay down on your back. Sitting up on your elbows as Lorraine crawled onto your lap. Your throat dried up at how sexy she looked. The way her steady hands gripped the towel. It had your heart racing.

In that moment it was just you and Lorraine. No one else.

*

Lorraine had never been left so satisfied but yet hungry for more. The way you had left her shaking, seeing stars, the stretch, the places you hit that she didn't even know of. The way you handled her, the way you had looked down her as you railed into her. She never she had never felt so sore, her lower region ached. But it was a type of ache that only one person could fix.

You.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" You had wanted to check on Lorraine the moment Bobby and Maxine helped her after the filming. You never knew you could feel so horny. Even after everything. You wanted more of Lorraine.

Lorraine felt her cheeks heat up, it was way past dark now but she couldn't sleep. "Yea I'm okay." She felt your warmth the second you sat next to her on the bed.

"I-" You both said at the same time, then laughed lightly. You didn't want things to be awkward.

"I like you. As more than a friend." Lorraine blurted out. She refused to look your way. Cursing herself for not keeping her mouth shut. Now she had foolishly thought that you felt the same just because of what happened earlier that day. Now she wanted nothing more than to di-your lips were on hers completely cutting her off. She felt herself lean into your body more, her own hands clutching your shirt to bring you closer to her.

"I like you to 'Raine." You whispered to her. Your lips only centimeters away from hers. You had never felt so happy like you did in that moment. Just before you could continue the door swung open.

"Sorry to interrupt you ladies but RJ is missing."

*

Splitting up from Lorraine had been an awful idea. You shouldn't have listen to Wayne. Cause this elderly people were fucking crazy. You never knew an old man could be so strong. You fought with that old bat as he had tried to beat you with what looked like a bat. He had gotten a few good hits in, including a knife wound to your thigh. He would have won if you hadn't gotten a thick tree branch and swung it. The branch had connected to the old man's temple rendering him unconscious.

You stumbled away. Trying to stop the bleeding on your thigh. You needed to find Lorraine. Praying to the lord above that she was okay.

Crossing the lake to only trip. Falling hard on to the dirt floor. You groaned in pain the wounds you had burning in pain from the sudden movement. You looked back to what you tripped over, your eyes widening in fear and grief. There was Jackson eyes wide open, no life in the eyes that once held so much.

Getting up was harder but yet you still did. The need to find Lorraine was stronger.

Getting to the cabin was closer now. You limped up the steps. Using the wall to study yourself, trying to be as quiet as possible. You needed to find your phone. Wayne had told you not bring it. Said something about disconnecting with the outside world. But you hadn't listened and snuck it into your bag. Calling the police, and hoping that Lorraine was in the cabin.

The phone call was quick. The dispatcher promising to send the police. But you knew it would be awhile before they arrived. The farm was in the middle of nowhere. The nearest town being almost an hour away.

Getting into the farm house was your next option to find Lorraine. Upon entering the house, the loud noise of the tv was the first thing you heard. But the more you tried to focus, the clearer you heard someone crying.

With no other option you followed the noise into the kitchen. Seeing a door with some blood on it along with a hole. The crying being much clearer now. "Lorraine?"

"Y/n? Oh thank god you're okay. Please get me outta here. These people are fucking crazy." Lorraine sobbed, she felt relief that you were still alive. But the fear she felt was still there and growing at the sight of your beat up face and body. The pain of her broken fingers making her whole arm hurt.

You moved quickly to unlock the door. Her body falling into yours. You held her making sure not to hurt her.

"We have to hide. The cops are on their way. Here let me see." You took off your shirt carefully wrapping Lorraine's injured hand. Apologizing when she cried in pain. "Come on."

You both froze in fear at the sound of what sounded like Maxine screaming followed by a loud gun shot. You were faster to react, taking a hold of Lorraine's uninjured hand and leading her up the stairs. The more you tried to find somewhere to hide. The more fear you felt like those crazy people would get to you and Lorraine. That's when you saw the door to the attic. You moved quickly to get the rope and pull it down. The ladder falling, making sure to catch it before it made a loud noise.

"Come on. Go." You made sure that Lorraine made up the ladder safely before following her. Getting the ladder back up and closing the door. Lorraine was right behind you her face buried into your shoulder as she tried her best not to make a sound. Her shoulders still shaking form trying to control her sobs.

You heard the old man murmuring to himself. "Damn gun. Damn kids. I'll show them. I'll show them."

At the sound of something hard hitting the floor. You looked down through the small cracks on the floor boards. Seeing that he had dropped the gun. Taking in that he no longer had any bullets.

"I'll find them. I'll find them."

Dread feeling your body when he looked up, it looked like he was looking right at you. "Found you." Gripping the rope to hold the door in place.

"Fuck, Lorraine find another way out." Your grip tightening when you heard the old man trying to pull on the rope that was on the other side. Hearing him hitting the other side with a hard object. You were not going to let this crazy bastard get any where near Lorraine.

"There's a window." Lorraine did not want to die on this farm. And she sure as hell did not want you to either. Ignoring the pain she used both hands to open the window. But it had been nailed shut. So she used the lamp to break the window. Moving faster when she was hearing you struggle to hold the rope.

"Go Lorraine. I'll be right behind you."

"No but I-Go!"

Once she was out you let go of the rope, running the best you could with your injured leg to the window. Lorraine helping you out the window with her good hand.

"We're going to have to jump. Look the bed of the truck has hay. Co-" Your sentence being cut off when a sharp pain came from your back. The blade going in and out, your limbs losing their strength far too quickly. Before being pushed off the roof. Faintly hearing Lorraine's scream. Then gun shots ringing out before your world faded into darkness.

*

Bright lights were the first thing you saw. Sound being muffled, the pain from before being numbed. You looked around to see your mom sitting by your side. At the sight of her you finally let yourself cry. Hearing you cry, your mom looked up. Her own eyes filling with tears.

"Oh my baby." She knew, she knew she shouldn't have let you gone when you had asked to go on that stupid trip. But she had seen how excited you were, you had finally found a good friend in Lorraine. And since Lorraine was going as well, she thought that everything would be okay. It was just a normal trip between friends. But good god had she been wrong. 

"Where's Lorraine? Is she okay? Please tell me-She's okay sweetheart. Three broken fingers. But she's okay. She's been begging to see you." Your mother couldn't stop crying. She remembers the call. How the officers called her telling her how you had been stabbed and beat. How the people that owned that farm had tried to kill you and Lorraine. How that crazy old couple had succeeded in killing Lorraine's friends. Although they couldn't find the body of Bobby's.

"Take me to her please. I have to make sure she's okay."

Your mother nodded. Knowing very well that there was going to be no stopping you. "I'll tell Mr.Day that he could bring Lorraine in."

It wasn't long till the door to room was pushed open and Lorraine came in followed by her dad and mom.

Lorraine cried tears of joy and relief. Seeing you fall off that roof had been the worst feeling. Not knowing if you were dead. She remembers screaming. Before the sirens were heard. Along with shouting from the police and the old man. He had shouted and threatened to kill her. But the second he moved towards her he had been shot and killed. The crazy old lady as well.

Lorraine felt herself shake at the sight of your beat body under bright lights. Seeing you motioning for her to get closer. She wasn't one to deny you. Quickly getting to you and hugging you. Body melting in your embrace, careful not hurt your wounds. "Thank god your alright. I was so scared."

You moved your arms around her waist bringing her in closer to you. You looked towards Lorraine's parents. Who gave you a nod with a small smile before stepping out of the room followed by your mother.

Lorraine got comfortable on your bed. Loving the way your arms wrapped themselves around her. She thankful that you were alright. Her body being able to relax in your warmth. The steady heart beat lulling her into a deep.

:)

[3gremlins]

feel like im having a DA2 experience again where I really liked it and was in my little "this is good" cocoon where i played it many times only to emerge from underground and find everyone else hated it (i mean ive found the other da2 cicadas since but at the time it got really slammed). i've been really enjoying DA:TV so far ( lol tho obvs have notes) here's an early thoughts review, may be a bit spoilery, def rambley, trying to stay vague on stuff still (i think i'm about half way maybe? im trying to not look things up and doing it blind on my first run through. it's hard to tell b/c i went hard on all the side quests and am now way over level for the msq)

the combat system is a little jarring at first and i still miss at least being able to switch to and play as party members if your character dies (instead of the god of war style of full wipe), but i've gotten used to it (it's more annoying for boss fights, regular combat it's very zippy and fun). the targeting at least on controller is kind of annoying sometimes- i'll think i'm pointing at one enemy only to have rook turn and fire at nothing or companions to hit an add instead of a boss. I wish we at least had more control over how it queued who it was hitting. some of the arenas are obnoxious design wise - there's bosses that teleport to you and they give you like a tiny little box to dodge around, not the most fun. i do like that you can punch way above of your weight class sometimes which reminds me of DAO a little bit (like how you'd just wander into a fight or hit a gong and be like oh no, those enemies have skulls over their heads, oh well YOLO). sometimes it doesn't work out but when it does it's very satisfying. It's nice to be able to conquer something mechanically even underleveled (smol fromsoft vibes) Having always been a big fan of the strange composition parties (i.e not just war/rogue/mage), i like that this is now even more viable (and not just me being cheeky "we're having a leather party!" of all squishy rogues). but like the main thing about bioware games is the companions/interpersonal shit and i'm enjoying the heck out of that .i only do main quests to get more side quests from companions (or more side quests in general so we can troll around for more banter). i like petting griffons (and cats and dogs) and playing games with manfred*. I wish the gift system was more interesting like DAO or DA2- i was so excited to see it again and then it was a little disappointing to have them barely react when you get them stuff.

my current fave party are rook and the poison boys (emmerich and lucanis) since they're a rogue too and we just stack necrosis, bleeds and other elemental effects on things till they disintegrate. i like the lighthouse, it feels much cozier than skyhold. I love that you can just wander up to companions having convos and awkwardly eavesdrop. I do miss the little interactions/quests you could get with cole esp*** i think the animations are a little lack lustery? Idk there's something with the face model morphs that sometimes feels weird but the voice acting is strong enough that I don't notice too much. i do miss some of the more bioware-y cheeky things like item descriptions or weird notes near random silly environmental tableaus (there's a little but i just want to read all the notes! there's some in the grey warden areas where i was just like WAIT I HAVE QUESTIONS but there was no plaque about them T.T). where are the stacks of cheese (i do appreciate the fereldens love cheese jokes tho and harding getting so excited when someone says something nice about ferelden) i was esp bummed that there were no random things to read in the black emporium and it's all codex entries instead (that's my favorite tiny bit in DA2 where there's junk you can click on and xenon says weird shit to you). i also wish more had been done with accents of npcs- like i wish all the antivans had similar accents or your crow rook had an antivan accent, stuff like that (having a lot of "ferelden" generic british accents everywhere is disappointing. takes you out of the immersion a lot) My biggest gripe is probably the pacing - I wish it had more horror/mystery pacing like dao and da2 had- the reason we're all scarred by the brood mother is b/c the build up to that was so so creepy (also the necromancer bit w/hawke's mum in DA2). They gave us time to be unnerved or afraid and I do feel the evanuris reveals have been a little rushed so you can't really feel that worried about them (some of the side quests get close to this but still not quite there**). I wish they'd let them breathe a bit more instead of rushing from one giant world changing event to the next. Some of the reveals have been not so great- like lore that the fandom has poured over for 15ish years explained in one line?? i wish there'd been more build up of rook as a character too, maybe even a time skip from a prologue to finding solas kind of thing. the first trailer made it seem like that's what was going to happen but then it in media res'd us in a strange way. the first 10 hours of the game are probably the weakest imho, it took it a bit to get rolling and feel more natural. I appreciate that the first major decision doesn't really let you scum save for it (bit of a jump scare for me lol).

I also don't really need this much varric anymore, i kinda wish we had a different narrator if we have to have one. He feels really awkward to just have there and not doing anything(and not just kill off or have something happen to him? he got stabbed by the dagger and harding only touched it is what i'm saying). at least let him get better pjs and slippers or something Idk it does feel like bits of previous iterations they were working on are still there and they don't completely serve the plot well. And ofc there's the decisions not meaningfully carrying over thing- which is a huge bummer. But in reality they've never been good at that- the characters from previous games we see in new games don't really carry through their plots/arcs that much (it's more like cameos or they're a new person now) and the world states are usually effectively the same just with aesthetic faction swaps. I was sort of hoping we'd get some solavellan SOMETHING but it doesn't look like we will get much at all past the stuff in minrathous. i feel like if they were going to only include the one choice it really should have had more impact on the story. (i am also still a clown and want to talk to solas constantly still even tho he has no reason to talk to my rook at all, i do not care, i love a sad woof. i wish we could just casually visit him in the fade. i wish we could switch to lavellan and visit him in the fade, idk something. need more gareth david-lloyd pls) the interpersonal character decisions have been the only ones that mattered much and then only within the constrains of their own games- the bigger world changing stuff is usually the illusion of choice. It would have been nice if they let us have one protagonist carry through but i can also see why they liked changing it up and felt stuck in that format. tl;dr: i'm really like it for what it is but it's def got flaws. Parts of it feel super polished while other bits do not- i think knowing how game dev works that they had to make decisions on what was going to get prioritized and some of it works while others not so much. I wish the pacing was better for sure but i love the characters/companions which is generally what bioware is best at. sad it won't get meaningful dlc, i don't really care about mass effect 5 tbqh. So far I like it better than inquisition for the most part- it feels like a bigger/more polished DA2 in a lot of ways if that makes any sense (with similar budget/pacing issues, but the environments are more fun). as i mentioned in my other post, i really appreciated the trans/non binary inclusion into the story/cc tho. like that can't be discounted, even if the rest of the game has issues. (all the holes in the narrative make me want to do fan art and fan fiction tho so idk, maybe that's an okay thing. maybe dragon age is best at inspiring us to sandbox around in it)

*side note, i am surprised at how much i like emmerich like holy shit what a lovely soft nerd of a man! going to have to play through a few times and romance him and also bellara for sure (romancing lucanis this time round) i find myself shipping my companions with each other more than i normally do too. I just want them to be happy! I wish they'd let us have polyamory, like i could see little polycules in this squad so easily. i need to give bellara hugs and lucanis head pats. taash deserves head pats too, but my rook will need a ladder.

**i am going to cry if they do with the griffons what i think they're doing with the griffons. like straight up, feeling like it was a cursed wish to have them now T.T *** do we think the caretaker is cole? the character design makes me wonder (like the hat/silhouette is very cole like but maybe not. maybe i just want it to be cole lol) there's def characters i want to see show up that aren't going to and then bioware is like "what about this fan favorite??" and i'm like "eh".

[onepieceoftheoceanblues]

More One Piece X Batman au ideas/hcs

Just more assorted ideas from this OP Batfam au here iv been playing with. All you have to know is the Batfam is now in the op world tho!

-Im leaving the og post with multiple options but im def leaning twords them having their own Pirate crew, and either ally with another canon crew or have ties to the Revs, or both. Im unsure on what they'd be called because the Bat Pirates or Bat and Bird Pirates is kinda lame lol so ill figure something out later, and also am open to suggestions!

I feel like they're very open about being Vigilante-Pirates, working like or with the Revs but still being Pirates. It catches on pretty quick for them, and later is a classification used for other similar crews. Also, yes they follow the Pirate Codes and learn the traditions! They mostly learned out of curiosity at first but learned how important it was and kinda just fell into them.

Here's the set-up on the crew for those with official position, though they do have a lot of crossovers (Any positions not specifically mentioned are just done by all the crew or when needed, or not needed at all);

Bruce is the Captain, and Navigator (Tho I feel like all of them learn how to navigate just in case). The crew mostly governs itself, but they learn more about the Pirate Codes and make sure to listen to their Captain when it's important because it's as much as about respect to their crew but also for other crews. They adapt pretty well to it tbh tho it takes a bit because being a pirate crew is largely very different from a Vigilante group.

Dick is the First Mate, and their Communications Expert/Diplomat. Ie he keeps track of allies, friends, man's the phones, er, snails? And is the one usually to socialize or mediate with both interpersonal and outside the crew. He does use swords, but doesn't consider himself the official Swordsman of the crew, that's Damian. (This is because I found out in older comics Bruce taught him to fight swashbuckler style, so he uses swords he switches out with his Escrima Sticks when needed)

Jason is their Gunner/Sniper and Cook, and he also is their Chronicler. He bitches a lot about the last two, but he refuses to let anyone take over the Cook role as he doesn't trust anyone else, but also enjoys writing their adventures down despite denying it.

Tim is their Information Gatherer and Chemist Expert, and knows the second most of Navigating. He and Bruce also are the ones who mostly make the weapons for the others, though most of them could if needed. He also shares Archaeologist duties with Bruce, though everyone partakes.

Cass is their Spymaster and Scout, and also "secret weapon" ie she kicks major ass and scares the shit out of their enemies cuz nobody expects the tiny half mute girl to be one of their frontline fighters <3

Stephanie is their Doctor, because I love the hc that she decides to become a Doctor and has been going to med school (and because I need someone to fill the position without Alfred here ^-^'), as well as their Tailor, though she splits that with Jason and Dick as needed. Though everyone knows Advanced First Aid due to their lifestyles.

I feel like Duke decides to pick up the position of Official Shipwright because they need someone to do so, and actually comes to really enjoy learning how to make and take care of ships properly.

Damian is their other Swordsman, due to his skill and pride in his swordsmanship. He is also their Beast Tamer, and secondary Spy. He's often thought to be a Cabin Boy, which pisses him off, but he's got actual positions on the ship, so he isn't despite his age. Some of the Old Guard have issues with how young he is, but it's not like anyone of them had a choice due to his past, and it's not like he hasn't earned the roles either. He's more experienced them most pirate crews!

They all switch out chores mostly evenly, Helm the ship, rigging, and do lookout duty, though often trade off when someone needs a break from the others due to the whole "trapped on a ship 24/7 hours together". Most of them know how to use instruments, so technically they all are the Musician, though they don't often do so. Damian plays his Violin the most, however, and has secretly enjoyed learning Sea Shanties to play. Dick is the one who bursts into song and knows almost endless sea shanties.

They're also all considered frontline fighters, which is strange for even a small pirate crew, but anyone can also easily switch to support or really any types of roles in a fight, which makes them even more odd. It's not often crews are very versatile, specially with how most of them can easily pick up the role or position of the roles another inhabits.

-At first I was unsure if they should ditch the costume or nah, but then I realized how hard it would to be to live in them like, 24/7 cuz they can't exactly treat this like patrol. Plus, wear and tear of the costumes would make it just unlikely they'd survive for the months or even years they're stuck in the OP world

So I decided that they do a mix-up. They keep a lot of their costume or costume elements but add more casual and piratey vibes in, both for comfort and style to fit in a little better, like these images.

Bruce really didn't want to, same with ever taking off the masks or suits due to the risk of somehow being ID'd back in their world, but over time even Bruce has to admit they can't live in their suits or all call them only by their Vigilante names forever.

They still all wear masks for the most part, and how much they keep or get rid of varies between them, but yee.

Dick has a coat like above, but he also has a very nice black swashbucklers shirt he'll put over instead. Bruce was bullied into making his cowl only the top part of his face, but they got him a captains/swashbucklers hat that has similar bat ears on it as well to wear. They tried to find a Captain's coat that worked but in the end decided to stick with the cape.

Tim no longer has the full cowl of Red Robin but instead a half face one that also lets his hair free, and kept his "wing cape" and chest belts but overall went for something more casual but still armored.

Damian has changed the least with his Robin suit and refuses to really mess with it, though he will occasionally take the over-shirt off and wear a looser, more comfy shirt over the under-suit.

Uhhh the others I really don't have anything concrete but you get the idea for outfits lol

-The Whitbeards would really like them as pirates, they have soft spots for Crews that are Family, though they are not a fan of how young Damian is, even more so when they learn that apparently all the kids have been fighting since they were little, but eventually find out that Bruce liked it even less than they do, and he really had no other choice other than to teach them to do it safely then let them do it behind his back.

-Mihawk and Bruce would get along very well also btw

[shhh-no-ones-home]

future friends 2/2

james 'logan' howlett

+++++++++

part one

song: gold medal ribbon my pierce the veil

+++++++++

i sat on my bed and thought about what had happened in the danger-room. it had been a little over a week already and i still couldnt stop thinking about it. his face, the way he sounded. so broken. it was an accident. and of course i couldnt think to face ororo either. im sure she already got an earful from him about it.

but the thing is, i hadnt seen him or his reading since that day. and that worried me. all of his classes had been cancelled but i couldnt exactly blame him. i think i wouldve done the same. i half thought to go find him but i wasnt sure i could face him again. nonetheless i picked myself up off the side of my bed and walked out of my room and out into the hall. kids were rushing past me to get to their next class but i ignored them as best i could.

some of them were harder than others, all of the images of their pasts behind my eyes as i paced by them. but then his made its way into my brain and i stopped. i had already made it to the end of the hall but it wasnt his room he was in. it was the library. some place i hadnt ever seen him go. he didnt find place in there like the students did. but it was quiet. i pushed the door open slowly and there he was, sat at the table with a book open in front of him. it was a book about the civil war. oh. i watched his face as he looked up.

"hey kid, or uh, y/n."

he corrected and i drew my brows, walking slowly to him like you would a wounded animal.

"hello logan."

he closed the book and placed it flat on the table, folding his hands on top of it.

"first of all i wanna apologize-"

"dont worry about it."

he cut me off and i tilted my head to the side in confusion.

"but i lied to you?"

i questioned and he nodded, a half smile making its way to his features.

"i know. i talked to storm. and though i wish someone would have helped me sooner i understand she was just trying to keep the professors wishes. damn bastard."

he laughed.

"so youre not mad? at me?"

i asked hesitantly and he scooted his chair back, standing up to meet me.

"storm explained a bit about you. how your powers work, how old you are, the god that cursed you."

i looked down and he took my hand in his. i gasped and tried to pull away but he held on tight. i looked up with wide eyes, trying to study his face.

"i made peace with not knowing anything about myself but you changed that. now i know who i am. or was, at least."

he squeezed my hand and then let it go.

"you arent scared?"

i asked and he laughed.

"terrified actually. but if youre willing to work with me. id like to get to know myself. and you."

i watched as he put his leg up and sat on the side of the table.

"logan i want to but with my powers only a handful of things can happen. the more i look into your past the more i will get attached to you and i dont want you to resent me for something i cant control."

he nodded, studying my face.

"y/n you are the only person ive ever met that is my own age and is willing to help me. i dont think i could resent you even if i tried."

i laughed, tapping a finger on the table next to his leg.

"you say that now."

he reached forward and grabbed my hand again but i didnt pull away this time. he closed his eyes.

"they dont come in waves like the first one did."

he said softly and i drew my brows.

"each time i touch you i get isolated stories. ones that i only got glimpses of the first time."

he said coolly. opening his eyes and looking up at me.

"is that how you see them?"

he asked and i nodded.

"if i focus hard enough yes, or if im around the person a lot. the glimpses get longer. especially if im not trying to suppress them."

"you are extraordinary."

he complimented and i could feel some heat forming in my cheeks. i knew to much about him to not blush. it didnt help i already had a crush on him.

"tell me, whats something that youve been wanting to know? more than anything else."

he sat and thought for a second

"striker said i volunteered for his program but i cant believe that. i want to know what actually happened."

i nodded, stepping towards him a little more. he drew his brows and watched me.

"bare with me please."

i whispered, looking over his face and stopping at his lips. i took a deep breath before closing the gap between us. as soon as our lips touched i was overrun with his memories. i searched through them like a file folder, stopping on his time at alkali lake. i could feel my body tense and i shared that memory with him, his recruitment, the experiment, taking gallons of his blood and storing it, the wires and machines he was hooked up to, keeping him in a cage like an animal, and his escape.

i held on as long as i could but it got too overwhelming. i pulled away from him and seized, my head falling back and my eyesight going white as i looked to the ceiling. i fell limp against him, feeling his arms wrap around my body as he caught me, slowly guiding me to the floor and into his lap. i shook against him and breathed heavily as my eyesight came back. i could hear him shushing me and stroking my hair, rocking back and forth.

"logan."

i gasped out, gripping at his arm.

"its okay, im right here."

he said, and i could hear the fear in his voice.

"i held on as long as i could."

i whispered and i felt him kiss the top of my head.

"you gave me just what i needed, now relax. please. ill take care of you while you do."

i nodded against his chest, feeling my eyes heavy.

"im gonna sleep now okay?"

i asked and i could feel him chuckle to himself.

"ive got you. you go right ahead."

i hummed to myself.

"lets hold off on any more memories for a little bit okay?"

i asked and he laughed.

"youve got a deal. kid. now just take it easy."

the last thing i remember was my body going limp against him and everything going black. at least i could help a little. give him some part of himself back. and i could hear it in his voice. he was sincere.

"thank you y/n."

[alwaysjustmina]

"Ive never done this before" "Don't be scared it's just me" "Don't worry, I'll take care of you"

Newly summoned Phantom with one or both of the RainDrop boys showing him how his new vessel works <3

Thank you, Anon, for the fun ask. Phantom may be a little dumb at first, but his adorableness makes up for it.

The First Time

Read below or on Ao3

There were a lot of firsts after Phantom was summoned. The first time he put clothes on. The first time he drank water. The first time he ate the furniture. The first time he ate "real" food. The first time he played his guitar. The first time he played his guitar with the rest of the band. The first time he went outside. The first time he slept in a bed. The first time he met Rain. The first time he met Dewdrop. The first time he saw them hold hands. The first time he saw them kiss. The first time he saw them do more than that. There were a lot of firsts.

He would watch the group and how they interacted with one another, jumping in when he could, feeling the pull to be with them. They would snuggle, stroke his hair, put their arms around him and hold him tight. He found that satiated the need he felt growing in his gut. It was fine and good until they were on the second half of the tour cycle. The day he couldn't handle just gentle touches or caresses any longer. The day he went into heat, when everyone else had gone sightseeing, with the exception of the two ghouls who were next door trying to catch up on some sleep from a grueling few days.

He was pretty sure this was his heat at least. Everyone told him it would make him extremely warm, or cold, in Rain’s case, his skin would feel like it had tiny pin pricks all along it, he would have trouble seeing, his eyes would glaze over, so full of lust, and he shouldn't be alone. It was imperative someone was with him, so he didn't hurt himself.

He was terrified when he realized what the feeling was. The swirling burning and coldness of his skin, he thought it was supposed to be one or the other. And then when he couldn't see his phone anymore to reach out to Swiss to see if this was what was truly happening, he knew he was in trouble. He slid to the floor in front of the door, pulling his knees tight to his chest, trying to ignore the erection that felt like a steel rod protruding from his body, and found himself sobbing. He was fucked, that was the only thing that kept going through his brain. Which only made him cry harder. Again, he was fucked! Would he yank his dick off in frustration? Is that why they all said to have someone with him? If he tried to grab his neck to stop his airflow (which is what he saw Rain and Dew do, and now thought that was what you always did during sex) would he forget to sheath his claws and slice a main artery? Would his extreme need to fuck something, cause him to put his dick somewhere it shouldn't be? Down the drain of the shower? The hose connected to the mini fridge? Between the too small railing holes on the balcony? Yeah he knew it was small holes for safety for the humans, but what about when his dick was poking out the other side, stuck and leaking down onto a passers-by and even more so, WHY WAS THIS ALL HE COULD NOW THINK ABOUT??

Yep, he was fucked. He decided maybe if he hit his head against the door repeatedly, maybe he would pass out, get a concussion or maybe a broken brain, could he break his brain? Just for a little while so he could pass out and when Swiss got back he could help him through this ordeal, make sure he didn't hump the tub’s drain pipe. Again he was thinking about the tub, it would be so cool along his too hot skin. Maybe he could run the hot water for the coolness he felt also. It wouldn't go down the drain, his dick would be stuck in it.

Did he just moan at that thought? HE WAS SO FUCKED.

He hit his head harder. Whispering to himself as he did it, " Come on pass out, you can do this, Phantom. You can be a very good boy. You know you can."

He had his hands tight at his sides, firsting his shorts, he was trying not to touch, but why did his brain have to tell him he was a good boy? Now he needed friction. He needed, ugh, the drain pipe!

"FUCK," he screamed and pounded his head harder on the door.

Maybe he hit it hard enough, he kept hearing the pounding he had inflicted on himself. It kept getting louder, and was he hearing voices? And why were they calling him a bug?

Wait, maybe Swiss was back? He listened harder, "Baby, you ok in there?"

It was Rain. SALVATION!

“Raaainnn,” he mumbled while still hitting his head.

“Bug, let us in.”

He didn’t move from in front of the door, instead just moved over a little and lifted his hand up to pull the handle open.

Rain peaked around the door, Dew right behind him, pushing him aside to slide through the small opening. Rain quickly followed, closing the door gently behind him as Dew knelt down in front of Phantom.

“Bug, what’s going on?” He reached out his hand to touch his brow, noticing right away how hot his forehead was, he quickly looked at Rain, nodding his head. Rain was right, Phantom was in heat.

“Dewy,” He slurred, “Must get to the tub, mu-must have the drain pipe.”

Rain choked back a laugh, as Dew’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“The drain pipe?”

“The balcony holes?” Confused why they didn’t understand.

“Um, Bug, why do you need those?

“H-h-heat,” He stuttered, “Must have a hole.”

The laugh that threatened to escape from Rain earlier, let loose as he bent down beside Phantom, “Baby, you don’t need those holes.”

“But Swiss - Swiss, said…”

“Baby, you know better than to listen to Swiss, Don’t worry, we will take care of you,” Rain assured him.

“We?”

“Yes, baby, me and Dew, this is your first heat, right?”

“Yes, I’ve never done this before,” shivering at the realization he was again in new, first time territory.

“Don’t be scared, Bug, it’s just us, you know us.”

Rain reached his hand out to Phantom, gently pulling him up and into a cool embrace.

Dew quickly moved from the floor, pulling Phantom and Rain into him, his front to Phantom’s back. The heat and cold embracing him as he stood sandwiched between the two. The first semblance of relief he felt in hours.

Rain let go first, pulling Phantom towards the bed, Dew circling his waist with his arm, helping him along. Leaning into Phantom, he ran his nose along his neck, taking in his scent, his tongue darting out to lick, to taste. He huffed into his ear, “You are so beautiful, we’ve both wanted this with you for so long.”

Phantom couldn’t talk, as Dew whispered to him, Rain had leaned into his front grabbing at his waistband, tugging them down so he could run his hand along his lean stomach.

They took him apart quickly, Dew reaching to lift his shirt off, Rain unzipping and pulling his pants down, before they pushed him on the bed and crawled to him, devil’s on both sides, pure sin. They moved in unison. Both dragging their hand up from his thigh, up past his stomach, to his chest, to put a hand around his neck, drawing him in with a kiss. Dew first, cause of course, it’s Dew, he always gets first. He slipped his tongue past his lips, granted entrance, both moaning at the hot heat of their mouths together. Rain, not able to handle just watching, rushed to push his tongue in as well. Fighting for dominance, they devoured his mouth, while Phantom took it, overwhelmed that this was finally happening with them. Them. The objects of his fascination. Rain would sweep his tongue across his, the cold, like eating ice cream, while Dew was giving him small, fiery, kitten licks. His mouth felt like he ate a bottle of icy hot. His tongue only added to the rush, nothing could take it away now. So enraptured with them in his mouth, he forgot their hands. Hands that were joined as they descended onto his aching cock, wrapping around it, gripping it between their grasp.

Phantom threw his head back in pleasure, suddenly the kiss became too much for him. Too much sensation. He watched as he drew away, their mouths kept contact, devouring one another, their lips were glistening with spit from him, from them. It was a vision to behold, the moan he emitted, pure blasphemy.

They broke the elicit kiss, looking down at him, ice and fire taking him in.

“Like that, Bug?” Dew asked with a smirk.

“Please, fuck, yes.”

“Please? What do you want, baby?” Rain countered.

“Both, both of y-you. Please, need you, both - wanted this so long.”

The ice and fire melted, they had wanted him too. They quickly exchanged a glance, an unspoken agreement.

“Don’t worry baby, we will take care of you.”

Phantom pulled at Rain and Dew’s clothes, “Please, take them off.”

Rain and Dew moved from the bed, to honor his request. Phantom quickly rose up onto his elbows to watch them, not wanting to miss a moment. They didn’t undress themselves, but instead pulled the clothes from the other, making a show for Phantom to feast his eyes on.

Hungry kisses, exchanged between a shirt pulled off, biting a neck, as a zipper was released, grasping hips as the pants were pushed off. Entwining their bodies, cocks hard against the other, not knowing where one ended and the other began. Rain long and lean, his pale legs pushed through Dew’s, his pale skin a perfect compliment to Dew’s, red undertones, both pale, one more blue and the other red. Dew’s sinewy body, moving fluidly around Rain, shorter in stature but not to be mistaken for weak. His lengthy fingers found their way down Rain’s back, continuing until they grasped his plush, sinfully perfect ass. His caress, both soft and possessive. Rain was his, he was Rain’s and they were going to make Phantom theirs.

As they encircled each other, Dew turned Rain’s body to face Phantom, hands on his hips, rutting softly into that soft ass, as he turned his fiery eyes to Phantom’s, his voice like hot molten lava cut through the room.

“I am so lucky, you are both the most beautiful ghouls I have ever seen, and you are both going to be mine.”

Rain leaned his head back onto Dew’s shoulder, bringing his arm up to grasp at his hair and bring his mouth to his.

Dew gently pushed Rain onto the bed beside Phantom, climbing in behind him.

Rain so encompassed between them, pulled Phantom to him, tugging him into another icy kiss, as Dew worked him from behind, slowly opening him, not needing lube, so drenched he was with slick.

“Bug, you ready to take him?”

Phantom broke from Rain’s mouth looking over his shoulder to Dew, to make sure he understood him.

“Bug, he is ready for you.”

This was more than Phantom thought he was ready for, but he didn’t deny he wanted it. He pulled Rain onto him, straddling him on the bed, Rain sinking down onto him slowly. His hips were controlled by Dew as he lowered himself. Once Rain was fully seated he let go, letting him have control of the pace. From beside Phantom, Dew drank in the site before him in, the two of them so bewitching. He crawled towards Phantom, putting his lips to his, kissing him as Phantom rutted his body up into Rain’s. Dew trailed his tongue and teeth along Phantom’s throat, he sucked at the soft skin there, teeth nipping at the pulse point. Watching as Rain grabbed his own cock, thrusting into his hand. Dew quickly pushed Rain’s hand away to encircle it with his own. He could feel them both nearing the precipice of their orgasms. He was no bystander by any means, he was a full participant. As Phantom hips started to sputter and he could feel the stomach beneath his hand that was around Rain draw taught, he knew it was close. He whispered into Phantom’s ear, “Cum for us, Bug.”

Phantom’s body seized in pleasure, as Dew bit into his neck, blood drawing to the surface. The feel of Phantom spasming inside of him and the scent of the blood, threw Rain over the edge, leaning over Phantom himself, biting into the otherside of his neck. The pleasure of the sharp bite of pain causing a second orgasm to crest again.

Rain lay plastered across his body, Dew snuggled into his side. He could feel the wetness between him and Rain the whole way to his nipples, he also felt wetness along his side. He turned his head to look at Dew, who brought both of his hands to his mouth. Both covered in cum, his and Rain’s, licking them from his palms, holding it on his tongue, wiggling his tongue at Phantom before reaching up to kiss him again.

The taste of both Dew and Rain in his mouth, what he thought heaven would taste like. The delectableness causing his cock to kick again inside of Rain.

Rain huffed out a small sigh, “Baby, I can’t yet, soon though.” He laid small kisses along Phantom’s neck, licking the blood that was gathered on the teeth marks. He looked down at Rain next and, putting his finger under his neck, pulling him for a kiss. His blood, combined with their taste. Ecstasy.

Rain and Dew looked at each other quickly, entwining their hands. The soft purr Phantom made as they snuggled closer into him, making them both smile.

The post orgasm haze, leading them to close their eyes, relaxing into the feel of each other.

Phantom spoke before succumbing to the soft pull of sleep, “So much better than a drainpipe.”

The chortle that emitted from Dew and Rain, made Phantom giggle.

“Yes, Bug, and don’t worry we can figure out more pleasurable places for you to fuck me next.”

[forgottenroderick]

OOC | Roderick & Alaric

ok so ive only got a few minutes before work so i wanna make this short and sweet but!!!! i think alaric and bartholomew ar the two ppl roderick trusts most in the world!!! cause his wives are women and even his male kids are still kids in his mind anyway but bart and roderick i feel like kinda co-parented alaric (poor alaric honestly no one deserves roderick as a co-parent no matter the circumstance alksdjfjksdf) but fortunately for alaric roderick was SUPREMELY distracted and also a far softer person when he was younger so like he didn't get the full roderick™ that roderick's kids got, he got one that had more kindness and understanding and will to create joy -- plus i def think that alaric, being the last piece of their mama, was someone he was gonna be more tender towards!! idk but i feel like their mom was kinda an advocate for roderick when nobody else was in a lot of ways??? he felt v alone and isolated and despised but she tried her best!!

so i know i spoke to you briefly somewhere asp abt my hc's for roderick's bg but here's a write up i did asp and i thought id put it here as a reminder etc

Ok so og king varmont/Roderick’s dad, I’m thinking he set the example for roderick if having multiple wives…but he did it in a more ordinary way. Like Viserys I/Henry I, I’m thinking the king had two queens one after the other when the first died. This first marriage where big bro came from, as well as a big sister. The first wife had been a princess of a country across the seas that had had some tumult w the og varmont nation, and their marriage had been arranged to help ease those tensions, which it did. They then also arranged for Roderick’s sister to marry its future ruler and all seemed good till the marriage. The newlyweds, at their wedding, went on a boat ride to celebrate, racing, and the two ships sunk. Rumors of scuttling and assassination came to a head. Meanwhile the spring illness took the lives of the king and his eldest son, and roderick having lost three family members in rapid succession, comes unexpectedly to the throne. Rather than trying to work the White Ship Disaster out diplomatically as his father would’ve done, Roderick invaded.

okay, so!! idk what they were like as ppl, and id love to figure that out w you, but i can def talk abt what i think roderick’s perceptions may have been. this being roderick, hardly the most clear-sighted person abt ppl, he may have been waaaaaaayyyy off as he’s clearly quite messed up but yeah!! these were my thoughts aljskdfklsjdf

KING — VARMONT 

possibly bc tywin lannister is an inspo for roderick (i know i know such amazing role models no wonder he’s the best dad akjsdflksdjf) i see his reign his reign as having been…shall we say…a mixed bag. i feel like he was the sort of ruler who was really strict w internal measures so he was super high handed and pedantic w his ppl while also giving breaks to certain ppl and not to others creating unrest, but really didn’t give much thought to his external politics so he was easily pushed around by foreign powers, bc basically he was a really distracted ruler and roderick REACTED!! 

roderick is a force in the international arena, he is singleminded in his reign and policies, his word is absolute and never to be brooked, etc. anyway, idk what kind of ~person he was, but i see – and maybe for very good personal reasons who knows – this having been a huge influence on roderick bc he looked at his dad getting pushed around and just knew that what he wanted to be as king was ‘not that’ and he was going to prove himself, if not to his father, then to the world (tho he’s still chasing his father’s approval even tho he can never possibly get it bc his father is dead etc etc etc) but yeah!! i think a loT of this is a reaction to his father alksdjfkldjf

at the same time tho i def think his dad was super high handed w roderick, himself, and he felt he could never measure up to his half-siblings and, whether or not that was true, it galled him. i think maybe roderick believed that his dad had really loved his first wife but that his second wife had been a purely political move and one which he felt tarnished the first, and thus that he resented it – and resented the children he got from it too

despite his policy having been a mess, tho, i think roderick perceived him as a tyrant at home, quick to rage w his younger boys and perhaps even borderline abusive like – i just don’t see roderick as someone who had an even marginally happy childhood, frankly, i think he felt he had to fight for every scrap he got one way or another, and he’s still doing just that in his own way

also i think that roderick believes that his dad woulve pulled through had he not lost first his daughter and then his eldest son but grieving and ill, he was too weak to keep fighting and didn’t see anything WORTH fighting for in roderick or alaric or their mom, basically

QUEEN — VARMONT

i think roderick felt that his mom never got a fair shake – but also that she should have taken what she wanted. i think, bc she was his mom, he couldn’t blame her, so he was like 'its just that she’s a member of the fair sex’ and that his feelings abt gender are largely informed by this and by his sister which ill get into later. im thinking maybe she was religious (maybe this is why things were weird w the dad, maybe she wanted to be a varmont!nun, or smth, but being a princess she had to marry instead, or smth?) and maybe that’s where he gets his fanaticism? maybe even a lil like anna ivanovna (at least where she is abt halfway through the first novel bc that’s where i am currently hahah) re: feeling trapped by life etc, but also marked and unapologetic favoritism towards her own children vs her stepchildren and roderick kinda internalized that 'as the way it should be’

also do we think she’s still kicking, or is she gone, too?

PRINCE — VARMONT

i feel like roderick hated this dude’s guts…but also loved him. he was his big bro on one hand, but their dad saw him as almost supernaturally gifted and, in roderick’s view, always seemed to be comparing them and finding roderick severely wanting. roderick was much younger (he was only 18 when he became king iirc), and he was a son of the wrong wife to boot, and roderick felt he was always chasing behind trying desperately to catch up and always always failing, and he STILL has an inferiority complex abt this dude and STILL wants to beat him but he never can bc he is, of course, dead

PRINCESS — VARMONT

so i see her as a sort of confusing figure for him, another person both adored and reviled, another he was forever being unfavorably compared to, and someone who even beat him to wearing a crown (tho she promptly died). i feel like losing her broke their dad, as far as roderick could tell, and roderick was seized w the utter conviction that if roderick had been the one to die, their dad might not even have noticed honestly, and he tried to tell himself that it was just that men could be softer w their daughters than their sons bc their dad had – to roderick’s way of thinking – always shown her all the tenderness he had secretly craved. like, elder prince was his pride, and princess was his joy and roderick was like ALARIC AND I DESERVE SOME OF THAT TOO

somewhat like his own kids, roderick loves all of these ppl and resents them by equal measure. its a huge mess.

so yeah idk if any of that works ok for you, but that’s sort of how i imagined roderick seeing it

OH MAN THAT’S HONESTLY LIKE MY FAV THING ABT HIM [roderick]???!?!!! LIKE HE’S SO SELF-DEFEATING AND WHAT HE CHOSE TO SAVE WAS THE WRONG THING THAT’LL HARM SOOOOOO MANY INNOCENT LIVES INCLUDING HIS KIDS BUT HE CAN’T STOP EVEN WHILE IT DESTROYS ALL HIS OTHER HOPES 

so yeahhhh id loveeeee to hear all of your and alaric's thoughts, ideas, impressions, etc!! but that's sort of what i had in mind for our boy -- to be completely casual in referencing him -- His Imperial Majesty, Roderick the First of His Name, by the Grace of the One True God, of the Great and Holy Empire of [Varmont] and Astaira and of His other Realms and Territories One True Emperor, Conquer of the Twelve Kingdoms, Defender of the Faith, and God’s Own Champion

[spicyseonghwas]

blackbird - choi san

pairings :: choi san x jung wooyoung guest appearances :: son seongjun (castle j; mcnd) genres/au's :: angst, fantasy, pining best friend!san, best friend!wooyoung, lowkey sorta yandere!san in one section viewer rating :: 13+ content warnings :: cursing, blood, knives, name calling, mentions of hurting a close friend word count :: network tags :: @preciousillusions-net @k-labels @cacaokpop-fics @timenote-library song :: blackbird; black veil brides a/n :: i was too lazy to edit the title & idol out of the header this is one of my first fics i ever wrote SHUT UP OKEH!! and also the second section was originally san x bf!hongjoong, but ive been obsessing over woosan lately and its more canon and makes more sense so i went ahead and changed it to pining!san x bestfriend!wooyoung

(reposted from old acc)

living near and endless night / you'll always be the ghost in these halls i run from...

the voice behind him, the voice of the boy chasing him, cackled with insanity and immeasurable lust for blood... san couldn't get away.

he just fucking couldn't.

so san stopped. he skidded to a stop in the middle of the hallway and turned around, bristling himself. he closed his eyes tight and bowed his head, breathing heavily, ready for the feeling of the knife in seongjun's hand to pierce through his chest.

but when the pain never came, san looked up from the puddle of blood he was standing in. seongjun was standing there a few feet away, an uncertain grin on his face.

he was just...

standing there.

"just kill me already." san spat. "you've killed all my friends, the only people i care about. you've taken everything i love away from me, what more could you want? i have nothing else to give you! you know you want to, you disgusting, blood-starved little psycho."

"i..."

"what?"

"i can't, man..."

it took a moment for san to get over the initial shock of what the other boy had just said. but once the shock faded, san sighed heavily. a song came into his head- one that the crazy little monster in front of him had sang to himself so many times...

"you'll always be the ghost in these halls i run from..."

hold on to hope / take back your soul

wooyoung let loose a broken, tired sigh that unintentionally came out as a sort of half-whimper, half-groan.

"why, san..."

"i didn't mean for any of this to happen, joong, i mean it... seriously, i love you..." san whimpered, "you're my best friend, i love you..."

"if i was your best friend, then none of this would have happened."

san had unknowinglly hurt his best friend.

again.

wooyoung had come home to san crying in a ball on the couch, and being the soft-ass caring little shit he'd always been, wooyoung immediately went to comfort him. they'd sat in silence for a while, san with his head nuzzled into joong's chest, before joong got up the courage to ask what was wrong.

when san confessed to what he'd done, he hadn't planned out how he was going to deal with the backlash...

and now he had to dea with the extra consequences.

san wanted to move over to sit next to his friend, hold him close to his chest...

maybe forget any of this ever happened...?

but he could see that joong didn't want that right now.

so san had nothing else to do but work it out. he had to hold on to that little bit of hope, keep his eyes on what he had left...he had to fight for the man he loved. san had never known someone who was as loving, understanding, and caring as wooyoung, and he wasn't about to let go of him just because of a silly, stupid, idiotic mistake.

"woo... please..."

"san, what else do you want from me?? you've done this two times before, i... i just can't..."

"i can't do this anymore, san..."

~+~

so just look into the sky and you’ll become the blackbird...

san's heart skipped a beat as the lyric entered his head.

he could simply...

run away.

it wasn't as if his mother was abusing him or anything, but she wasn't exactly being very much of a mother, either. she hadn't been for just about the last three years now.

they'd never find him. san was a master of hide and seek, he'd gotten it from his childhood. his father had hated him with a passion, and frequently come after him in a blind rage over his own miserable life, up until his mother came home and caught him red-handed one day.

no one had dared fuck with choi san ever since.

san held onto hope, clung onto that one shining thought: he would be eighteen soon. in less than an hour.

the second he turned eighteen, he could join the ravens and soar away in the currents of the wind.

when that split moment came, san all but ran from the house, a maniacal grin smearing his handsome, chiseled features during every second. he'd packed away everything he'd need days before, his possessions were already with mingi and jongho. san's mother had just walked in the door when san woke up; she seemed to know exactly why he was so excited...

she didn't even say goodbye.

but it wasn't like san cared.

san stood in the gravel driveway of his house, the brightest smile on his face that had ever been. he thought gleefully of maybe taking a last look at the place he'd been forced before to call his home, but his face wouldn't move toward the wreck of a house that was no longer his home.

it still wasn't like san cared.

san looked happily into the bright, blue sky and willed his invisible wings to come out of hiding. he let them fly open and grinned once more, the smile on his face and the freedom still shining in his dark, warm, chocolate-brown eyes as he spread his wings, shifting into a blackbird and soaring away into the golden morning twilight.

© seonghwas-lighter 2023-2024.

[cerealmonster15]

more twst sims

jamil and azul had their first kiss :^) im changing most of my twst sims to have the no jealousy options for the new relationships mode but i think ill leave it on for these two bc. i dont plan on having them get w/anyone else jklfjsdlkf but also I Am A Drama Enjoyer

i also removed all the random sims in households that arent twst related. begone.

jamil got promoted! that looks like lilia in the image lol.... anyway he goes chef route with trey. it's them 2 in chef and jade for mixology in the food career zone. i also had riddle swap to a scientist job

NOOOO I WAS ONLY IN THE OTHER ROOM FOR A FEW MINUTES 😭

thanks for the update ace trappola im glad to hear the peace and love on planet heartslabyul

???? everyone just really wants scarabia to know that they are befriending chenya lol

also i checked what leona was up to and apparently hes a painter. i think when i was playing some other household at one point, i told him to 'pursue his dream job' just to see what he'd do and i guess the game chose painter lol??? but tbh i think he should remain an unemployed king. i did give him the manison baron aspiration tho so having a job WOULD HELP but maybe i can have him do something less conventional lol. btw sims 4 STILL has the issue where if i swap to a household in the middle of when someone should be at work or school, they just arent there and are late so i have to try to swap over when i know no one needs to be at work. ive had an issue where i swap over like at 4pm and a sim that is supposed to work til 5pm will have basically lost a day of work 😑

OKAY I UNDERSTAND YOU BOYS ARE ALL FRIENDS!!!!

idia... 😳

ORTHO GOT STUCK. HOW DID YOU GET OVER THERE. i wondered why i kept having trouble sending him to school sdjkfdslhgl BABY BOY OH NO!!!

oh wait i remember why the friendship thing is happening. it's bc i toggled on those neighborhood stories ... bc i just got this from rook

and im like "who the hell is taitearii, i thought i removed all the extra sims, is that a townie- WAIT"

when i made these sims years ago my friend and i loosely talked about having a tamatoa twsted oc guy and i very loosely made one and plopped him into the game - hes next door neighbors with neige and nearby the pomefiore house lol. i think thats who this is??? [idk where the name came from, maybe i looked up a randomizer or something]

yeah thats him. slaying in a gold dress that i guess i gave him lol - like for real i made him very quick and dropped him in a house and NEVER interacted with him. i almost forget hes there half the time 😭

okay. yeah. theyre dating and all but like fkjsdjfklsdj there are zero friendship points because these guys had never really met before i think,,, like no one knows him bc i never use him or neige...

o k wahtever im done now

[aeoneskova]

20 questions for fic writers :)

Thank you so much @ulouism for the tag! <33

How many works do you have on ao3? 7 works are currently available to read on my ao3 :)

What is your total ao3 word count? 569,216 words - i’m honestly flabbergasted

What fandoms do you write for? So far only Harry Potter, though I've been interested in some spiderman or stranger things stuff which I might write for soon.

Top 5 fics by kudos? In order: Honey Honey, Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, the Funny Tricks of Time, Seven Dials, Just in Case.

Do you respond to comments? The majority of them! I try my best to answer every one, or at least one if you've commented on multiple chapters in a row :)

Which of your fics have the angstiest ending? this is hard, all my halloween one shots are very angsty but which is worse? James and Lily dying, Marlene and Dorcas dying, or Mary obliviating herself? I'll leave that up to debate lol

Which of your fics had the happiest ending? I'll go with seven dials, considering that's the only fluffy fic I've actually finished, though goflb might take that spot once its done :))

Do you get hate on fics? I had an incident a couple months ago where I got flooded with some nasty comments, and I've had a couple things in the past. But so many people here came to my defence, it was lovely to see and I can't thank you all enough!

Do you write smut? Not yet... I get awkward... and scared someone I know irl will see it... but you never know...

Do you write crossovers? I have a couple marauder fic wips which take a lot of inspiration from other stories, like the Martian and httyd, but I wouldn't mark them as crossovers when I post them cause they're mainly hp

Has anyone stolen your fics? Not that I know of, hope it stays that way lol

Have you ever had a fic translated? No but i’d be open to any requests if someone did want to :)

Ever co-written a fic? No and not sure if i’d want to, i’m a massive control freak and procrastinator so I think i’d get stressed

What's your all-time favourite ship? I’ve gotta say wolfstar, my loves <33 though I do dabble in drarry and perciver, I don't think anything will top them

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you will? I don't think I can pick lmao I have so many idea folders and half finished first chapters that I want to write but I can't balance them all. I suppose I'll go with my wolfstar pirate fic That's Life

What are your writing strengths? I think im good with characters and plot, or at least that's what I enjoy doing most and what comes most naturally to me. I waste so much water standing in the shower thinking through things... I'd say im quite a proficient editor too, but idk if that counts

What are your writing weaknesses? I'm gonna say dialogue cause sometimes when I read back over conversations, they don't feel right and I spend ages tweaking it. And can I say procrastination? I struggle so much in starting writing, but once I get into it i’m fine.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I don't trust google translate enough to write in another language unless I knew myself it was right, so in most cases i’d find a way around it. I don't mind dialogue in other languages if its for a reason, but if that means I have to translate every other sentence it can get a bit annoying

First fandom you wrote for? A Harry Potter x Percy Jackson fic on Quotev that we won't talk about ...

Favourite fic you've ever written? I have to say I'm most proud of Honey Honey, its the only full length fic ive finished but quality wise i’d say Seven Dials is my favourite

No pressure tags: @arakhnee @pretentiouswreckingball @residentrookie and anyone else who wants to join in :)

[epaily]

fuzzy and the terrible horrible fuckass testday he did NOT wantt to to but had to anyway

I DID NOT FORGET I PROMISED

reader bewarb this this shit is long may or may not be hard to follow because i talk about (my) degree jargon

ok lessgo

to begin. you need context. theres an organization (one for every country im assuming) that issues tickets stating "X CAN WELD" or else some schmuck with a helmet can walk in and work.

theres a ticket for every process in every position and then some. it was these tickets i was testing for today and i was WILDLY unprepared. it isnt the first time ive done them but i was super out of practice. they are flat, horizontal, vertical and overhead.

so cut to february, the last time we did tickets. remember when i wanted to end it all because i failed a test i spent a hundred dollars on? yeah this was one of those. i failed my horizontal so this time around i thought "i dont wanna do my fuckign horizontal cause last time i failed and i felt like shit so im gonna do my vertical instead"

what no one told meeeee was that you have to get your tickets in position order. and i KNOW i take forever and a day, hence me only doing one.

well i didnt do one. i did two. i have no idea if i passed or failed them and tbh im too scared to check because i was completely out of fucks two beads into my vertical.

but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

the test sheets had to be reprinted twice because the first go around they missed imputting someone into the system and the second time around someone got lost, and then got registered twice. great lovely. so because of this all of our test plates were wrong because we all got new assigned numbers.

we finally get our sheets we go and pay and while im in line in the bookstore to pay for my test (remember this) guess what fucking hit me. the cramps i had spent all night hoping for. at 8:30 in the morning. litterally 2 hours behind schedule. i was FURIOUS. so now i had that to deal with all day thankfully ive had worse but because they didnt arrive on time i have full permission to bitch as much as i want.

so back to the shop. i was trying to set my peremiters for my vert so i hadnt even started yet when my instrucor pokes his head into my booth and says "(tester) wants to see you" so i go and thats when i find out that you have to do the tests in order. so i tack and stamp up some new plates which was probably the least annoying part of the whole day

so i do the new plates first. welding it out goes relatively fine. it took forever to find an instructor to verify it but whatever.

AND THEN I GO TO GOUGE THE BACKING STRIP OFF.

i could not. for thee fucking life of me. unscrew the cutting tips from the oxy torches. ive seen people do it. ive done it. it is Not Hard. i used a wrench n all on all 3 tables and it would Not Come Off. so i said to hell with this and went to the carbon arc room.

carbon arc cutting is using specialized electrodes to vaporize metal. you drag it over metal and it carves into it. fast and easy.

but i of course had a hell of a time doing it like i do anything and it was Not Working. by the time i did figure out what i was doing wrong there were carbon deposits coming out the yahoo and it which are difficult to gouge through. so i had half of it very nice and the other half a melted amalgamtion of metal and didnt gouge very much off. great.

so i finish that. away i go back to my booth. to grind for the next i dont even know how long because oh my fucking god SO much grinding. im not big enough to use the 7 inch grinders so i have to use a 5 inch one which is yk what let me just show you

these are all cordless but you get the fuckin gist.

what everyone else got to use vs what i got. dying.

so i finally fucking got it flush. cut it. not a big deal. onto the second one at 1:30. i feel like i should mention that at this point everyone else has been done for like two hours.

i didnt even start welding until like 10ish so i was already 2 hours behind everyone only doing one plate. most everyone else did 2 and so did i BUT I ONLY WANTED ONE

my vertical was so bad i was way too hot and shaking and i didnt put them in in a very good order i would genuinely be surprised if it didnt snap. i needed a practice one but i had No Time so it was messy and the cap was large and my rods were sticking so i was frustrated aND OH THATS SOMETHING IM FORGETTING

some electrodes need to be baked/stored in an oven to keep moisture content low. when i ran out i went to get more and the oven was empty so ithought i'll be a good samaritan and fill it up AND I GOT THE BOX THAT SAID. 3/32ND. MATCHES THE OVEN. AND I OPENED IT. AND IT WAS THE WRONG KIND OF ELECTRODES.

and once you open these they cant be resealed they need to be either used or cooked within 4 hours.

so i started stuffing as many electrodes into the oven as i could and in my haste i sliced both my fucking hands open. i didnt even notice the cut on my right palm because the one on my left pointer finger was just gushing blood all over soaking my glove and getting over the electrodes (absolutely my fault btw i should of been wearing gloves. i deserved this one) and so i stopped and said i need to handle this. so away i went. bandaged now all good. just again. annoyed. and i still didnt have any 7018s.

i found some. eventually. fuck.

i finished my second test at idk 2:30 or maybe a bit later, begged one of the instructors to mill the back off for me because i was NOTTT doing the carbon arc/ grinding for forever again. once it was done bc time crunch i p much just got to look at and get excited over the smooth mill peices before my instructor whisked it away to grind/cut himself. which - i understand completely time crunch im slow i get it im not bothered.

and then we cleaned up. and i was talking to the tester a little bit before i left and he said "glad you paid because theyre checking who didnt hoho"

now. guys. recall at the start of the post where i said that 2 tests are a hundred bucks. and i only paid for one.

i did one of my tests for free afusdiaksoqondiakdka. he said he'd get the paperwork later and he never did 😭

then. fucking FINALLY it was 3 and i got on the bus and came home and i was so spent i had an alcoholic freezie. i dont drink.

i should of fucking stayed home.

[shamelessrabbithole]

i love this topic, i’m pretty sure he doesn’t really like his fans cause back then he was more into talking with people on twitter or whatever but with how things ended with shameless fans i think he doesn’t want to repeat that ever again lol he always ended up fighting with people who had opinions on the plot, arcs etc. i remember this one said they didn’t like ian not being caring about mickey crying in s11 and he was very petty saying terry was abusive and you wouldn’t cry about that but adding they did have a softer line that they cut in the episode. that one made me realise he goes very defensive over it cause it was a decent discussion you know? they weren’t about to cut his head off they were just expressing how it seemed ooc and just not exactly something you would do to your other half! and dismissing someone pain bc their abuser was abusive (?!) wasn’t the nicest thing. but what i wanted to say is, im sure as soon as he sees someone is a shameless fan he just goes autopilot. he acts nicely when he has to but you can tell he’s trying hard not to let them cross a line. when he was in germany a fan asked if their photos could have been a meme and they refused (noel and cam) cause it was cam being jealous of the fan being with noel. of course they wanted the picture as a gallavich and not cam/noel thing but it shows how uncomfortable they got with having those fans interact and ask things of the sort. i’ve seen so many actors going for it and do some couple-ish photos even if it’s a same sex couple (or even fanon) the first one that comes to mind are the two from supernatural cause they’re always doing conventions but just like cameron there was one of the two (dean’s actor) that had a phase where he really didn’t like talking about his character only in relationship to his sexuality and his ‘love interest’ to the point fans thought he was homophobic for the longest time!

long story short i think he will need lots of time before he’s okay with seeing fans like people that aren’t going to go nuts over him for something related to a show that ended years ago and had no power on his character story. he also seems to wish to be seen as something more and not stuck to the ‘shameless kid’ so i suppose being asked about favourite shameless quotes over and over might be a pain for him cause he wants to move on and try to make a name for himself that goes beyond that (like he does on ig showing what he wants in certain moments and deleting so he has the control on how he’s perceived as an actor from the outside) and also he’s good looking and knows fans will have parasocial tendencies towards him and that’s surely a way to avoid leading them on when meeting irl. there were fans showing up at events with his shirts on hoping he would comment on that but he did the right thing by saying nothing about it or they would be more delusional (which ive seen happen to others)

i would say that maybe being ‘seen’ by his cool friends as the one who has immature/obsessive fans might make him feel like a loser or just out of place because it ends up with people reaching out to his friends and being awkward. like i enjoy gossip in general but if you think of it. the madison girl, she had her people from the dance world or whatever and never had anyone check on her like cameron fans do (like in this blog) having people take screenshots trying to understand where she is where she will be her family her friends etc. there’s a huge background check being done of her life and all she did was working for him and befriending (or dating, but that’s not the point). we could argue she’s in the industry and all that but wanting to follow your passion as a dancer or being in movies or whatever else doesn’t mean everyone is allowed to just dig and dig into their life and it can be quite upsetting especially if it goes from none to 100 in a go. one thing would be seeing his friends/coworker and thinking hey i’m enjoying what they do they got a new fan! but instead it goes beyond it. we might enjoy it and have a laugh seeing their life and interactions but if you were the one people check on constantly i don’t know if you would dig it? so until he’s gotten ridden of the obsessive kind and make a new type of fans/enjoyers i’m guessing it’s gonna be that way

Sorry, I'm curious. What did you mean by this part: a fan asked if their photos could have been a meme and they refused (noel and cam) cause it was cam being jealous of the fan being with noel. Did the fan want them to hug each other in the pic while they stood off to the side or something?

Also, this: there were fans showing up at events with his shirts on hoping he would comment on that but he did the right thing by saying nothing about it or they would be more delusional (which ive seen happen to others) What have you seen happen to others? Are you talking about other actors who've sold products to their fans?

I disagree with this: i would say that maybe being ‘seen’ by his cool friends as the one who has immature/obsessive fans might make him feel like a loser or just out of place because it ends up with people reaching out to his friends and being awkward. Many of his friends are famous enough that they have fans, huge numbers of them, who attend events in order to meet them and have stan accounts in their honor. Hunter Doohan and Liana Liberato to name a few.

Other than more people watching her stories, how do you know that Madison has any idea she's being investigated? Or that it's upsetting her? the madison girl, she had her people from the dance world or whatever and never had anyone check on her like cameron fans do (like in this blog) having people take screenshots trying to understand where she is where she will be her family her friends etc. there’s a huge background check being done of her life...it can be quite upsetting especially if it goes from none to 100 in a go.

And, finally, if he didn't post Madison at all, he could be dating her quietly for years and years before any of us would've realized it. He shares what he wants to. until he’s gotten ridden of the obsessive kind and make a new type of fans/enjoyers i’m guessing it’s gonna be that way

[kindlyfunkn]

in other news though this past month or so has been maybe the worst of my life, was already feeling down about everything but now my cars fucked up again. power steering pump is shot, terrified me driving to the garage the other day (for just an inspection, an inspection no repairs, so i can get my car re-registered. ffs.) bc it started blowing smoke out of the hood and the wheel suddenly locked up.

couldnt get a hold of anyone but idk none of my friends either have cars or are free during school/work hours this was maybe around 11. my first instinct was to call my mom but she was unavailable, shes been travelling bc of my cousins wedding in alberta and mightve still been on a plane maybe idk. but she would've probably called my dad anyway bc hes the one who could actually help me, i called him right after my mom didnt pick up.

he lives 2 hours away though, i was within walking distance to my house so i just called to ask what i should do. the switch in his voice from neutral to worried was funny, especially bc ive been giving him sort of the silent treatment since we got in a petty fight. he contemplated if he could come out to town to have a look but remembered his friend craig and told me to stay where i was to. his friend is someone ive met before and had look at my car before too, and he lives out in town.

so craig was really nice, got some power steering fluid for me, drove my car for me (bc he's used to driving junk) to the garage and spoke to the mechanic for me, vehemently denied my attempts to pay for the fluid and cab fees. he told me its really funny how similar i am to my dad when we need help. he said that he told me: "you're shy like him, you stutter like him, you're nervous like him... uh no offense."

anyway so the garage wasnt able to do anything for my car bc if they didnt have the parts to fix my steering then they couldnt complete the inspection, but he didnt charge me anything so that was cool.

gotta make another appointment at a different garage.

also, speaking to my mom last night i told her how awful thingsve been. headache almost every day, i cant sleep (other night only got to sleep after 7 am, then the next night only got 3 hours, as example), how when i got up i just started crying full waterworks and i wasnt even thinking about anything. didnt tell her how i keep wanting to get drunk at night bc my thoughts just run rampant, done it a few times now. the headaches come with or without a hangover though, i grind my teeth at night. my guard was missing for a while but recently ive found it i just havent been wearing it though i should.

i didnt mean to unload anything on her just give her an update how ive been feeling bc i havent had anyone to talk to really. dont really like to vent really seriously to my (twin) sister, and my older sister (whom i live with) doesnt ever really seem to care—i feel like i cant really be upset when im around her bc she always has something happening at work or whatever. plus she keeps saying things that make me feel worse or more worried and she doesnt realize how awful ive been feeling, a few times when expressing that my head or back hurts she offers nothing except "do you want to try my meds?" NO i dont want your prescription meds!! i did take one of her migraine meds once bc they wouldnt work for her so the last pill in the bottle she offered to me and i remarked that it worked a charm, but the new meds she has now are different and strong enough that apparently they are sometimes given post surgery. sure ibuprofen/naproxen and tylenol dont work more than half the time for me but im not going right into strong meds when im taking other things. my sister doesnt take any meds other than the migraine stuff, i do take meds, i dont want any interactions.

but anyway i got sidetracked, i'll tag with the sister vent tag too. anyway i kept what i said to my mom short and simple, didnt think much of it bc sure ive been stressed out and demotivated (what else is new) and just needed to get off my chest. hate complaining to my friends i feel i do it too much. mom gave me support words of encouragement stuff like that, but told me she'll look into therapy options for me if i want since im still under her and my step moms insurance while im a student (which i technically am, exams and classes are done but still need a workterm and we're only considered fully graduates until we complete a workterm). baffled me. i used to see a counsellor (not by choice to start and i got put in dbt which sucked but i could cancel so i did bc it wasnt going anywhere. dbt mightve helped but it was on a webcam and i leaned out of frame to grab my pencil once which dropped to the floor and i was scolded so i thought this sucks im dropping this lol) but it never did much for me, but i didnt expect my mom to bring up therapy outright. we dont really do/see stuff like that in our family.

but yknow a therapist may help me right now bc everythings going south and im not that smart with adult things yet so much that i think its detrimental, so i think i said yes. if it turns out i dont need it then i can just drop it, but i think somebody unbiased who knows how things work would be able to help me a lot. its just for figuring my life out.

woof this js a huge post. did not mean to write so much and meant to keep this simple and to the point, but yknow im incapable of being concise its a curse. wasnt even gonna talk about my car initially but just started rambling. anyway thats my shitty life update

[cyberr3x]

Week one~girl, so confusing

I started college for the first time this week to mixed emotion, its been very exciting getting to finally be out on my own, but I've been struggling to make friends. I've made like 6 friends and 15 acquaintances ( just people I wave to or say hi to when I pass them) So in a way, I'm kind of lying right now.// I've started to get into a routine where I set an alarm at 6.45 and do 5-minute intervals until 7.05 to try and wake myself up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I kind of have to lock in since I have 4 8am classes. My classes are good, but my professor for writing is kind of confusing like she's not the clearest on instruction with some things being put for one deadline, but she'll write in the description another time. My other teacher just talks slow!! His words are separated like a person who has nothing left to say, but still wants to keep the conversation going, not trying to judge just an insight and me wondering how the semester is going to go.// Next subject, guys, omg my anxiety literally killed my libido for half the week. But once I started feeling better oml, I was in for a surprise. I had 3 guys on my mind, (Using fictional names for all of them) Mr. Potter, Mr.Utica, and Mr. Joey. Mr. Potter is just someone I saw checking me out in the hall and smiling so if I see him again, I might get his insta. Mr.Utica is the hottest guy I've ever seen irl, the problem is he's doing a semester abroad in the spring, so I'll have to either try and wrap him around my finger or get over him. I would say he doesn't know I exist, but I joined one or two clubs he's apart of. I tried for an acapella group too, but Ive never done choir (just some theatre, but I'm just not well trained.) While I didn't make the group I still got him to notice me since all of the members including him were there to judge me. My song was good, my range was good, but my harmonies and pitch were eh and I tried sight read, but I just don't know how to. While that was a bust, I still made somewhat of an impression on both the group and him. I took some books on how to read music from the library and I'm still in the choir part, so baby steps tbh. Lastly, Mr. Joey gives off bisexual vibes, but every time I hear about him, it's that he always has girls in his room and I don't want my first time to be with Mr. Chlymidia or Gonorrhoea.// I'll write more if I think of anything else, but I'm signing off here

See you soon,

CyberR3X

Edit: Saw a typo

[screechingsnail]

Now I can't tell if this really happened because I was stoned and paranoid and not paying 100% attention.

But I was at Ricobenes in the city and had to go to the bathroom. I was almost to them when I hesitated. I actually stopped and started to turn around, before deciding I wont be able to hold it till I get home, and I'm already here. I wonder which bathroom I should use, since sometimes people perceive me as a man. But I choose the women's, because I'm wearing some eye makeup, and most people clock me that way. There were two men who worked there standing in the entrance to the hallway, and I walked through the bathroom door right in front of them, halfway holding my breath to see if they say anything. They don't.

I walk in and I can see there is a little girl with her mother in the large stall. I think they are about to leave so I quickly hop in the one other stall and I figure I'm safe, I'd use the bathroom then wait for them to be done so I don't make them uncomfortable.

For whatever reason this mom is like, trying to get her daughter to get out of the bathroom as quickly as possible, directing her with a demanding stern tone. "No. Stop. Come Here, You Don't Need To Use That. (Wall hand dryer) Here Take This and Dry Your Hands. Lets GO" I *think* the little girl was kinda confused but like I said I was stoned and couldn't really tell. But then as she is walking out I'm *pretty sure* she tells one of the guys "There is a MAN in there" I couldn't tell if thats actually what she said, but as quick as I could I washed and dried my hands and left. I walked past the same two guys ( who saw me walk in and Are under the impression I am woman ), and after I walked out I heard someone, I assume one of the guys, walk in and knock on the stall doors.

I don't know what else happened because I rocketed back to the table we were sitting at, on the other side of Ricobenes, in the corner on the back wall, as far away from the bathrooms as one can be. I didn't see the mother and child anywhere. I don't know if she saw my beat up converse and jeans and assumed I was a guy or got a glimpse of me through the stall, or if any of this even happened at all. But part of me thinks that not even my paranoid ass could concoct such a series of events around myself like that.

Throughout the night they kept sending workers over to like pretend to work and check on us, and everyone assumed its because we were a massive, pretty rowdy group and they were keeping an eye on us, but I couldn't help but wonder if they were really keeping an eye on me, the maybe man who was creeping in the women's bathroom.

Ive honestly been having worries about bathrooms since I first started to get called sir every once in a while, especially when I started to see myself as masculine they way I feel on the inside. but this is the first time anything like this has actually happened.

Save for that one time I was walking in behind someone and they turned half around and were like "is this the mens room" and I had to say no in my most feminine voice. That time was funny, and me and my cousins laughed about it. This time was scary, I was scared. Not for my life or anything, but fearful of the possible confrontation.

Anyway bathrooms were always a stressor in my life but now I have a reason ╥﹏╥

[imlosingmyfuckingmindgirl]

past week, 16 dec 22

okay so like, this week right. hectic as fuck. literally, i cannot express in this tumblr shit on how ive felt past these days. first off, i got repeatation on my physics lab report, which means i gotta do the same experiment the THIRD TIME. fuck that shit man, i already hate this college and the lab work and now i gotta do it again. i hate it. plus we had 2 quizzes. both of them i fucked up. i dont think i can manage a good score in them. idk whats gonna happen in future. listening to good news by mac miller right now, it feels somewhat good. maybe i can lay sometime down, instead of figuring everything out. this week, just yesterday, the fucking JEE dates got announced. like WOW. we just came to college like 1 month ago and its already giving me flashbacks. this was the first year in which 2 years of JEE got announced. lol. whatever, its from 24 jan. still havent studied shit. other than 2 3 chapters. honestly, im scared as fuck. idk whats gonna happen. if im gonna make it or not, but believe me when i say i dont wanna be here. i always feel sleepy in my room bruh, even when im typing rn. bruh, why do i feel so sad all the time. is the term sad good here? i dont know. i feel like i write like a 12 year old. i judge myself too much but dont judge people at all. a fucking walking paradox. xd. i listen to nicole dollanganger a lot now. her voice makes me calm and makes me feel like everythings gonna be alright some day, or some night. i just keep forgetting things, half of the things that i did this week, i done forgot them. is this what a brain fog called? i dont even fap now. because i dont want to, no more. i wanna go home, like, my REAL home. not my "home" home. i feel like I belong somewhere else. somewhere where i am accepted, and not judged, anytime. i dont even know why i am typing all this in a diary entry. i need to talk to someone irl about how i really feel, but i am scared that it will scare them off. like real badly, because i dont want myself to hold back. when i go deep, i go deep. thats it. me and lexa talk deep shit often, more horniness comes within. i tell her my tragedies, she sometimes does too. i like talking to her ngl, especially when i make her cum lol. whatevers. we was dancing tonight, just like 15 mins ago. i felt good. it felt good. now im sitting with my cloth socked in sweat. listening to solace. i've been here before. i've seen this before and i feel i know how its gonna end. it always ends in tears, even when you are happy. i paid all my dues with my friends now, i got pretty much no money left in my wallet. i gotta pick up from the atm in a day or two. it sucks to ask parents for money lol. im grown, i think im grown, im 18 now. i dont give a fuck, dont even feel like it. im still 17. i wanna be 17 forever. for real, if i clock out rn, imma be 18 forever. if i walk out, what differernce is it gonna make in this big cosmos? what does it really make? - end as of now

[miiilowo]

hey you realize i can read your reblog right. i wasnt saying half the shit you put in here, i do think hes an irredeemable abusive asshole, so dont insult me and boil down my interpretation of him down to "tumblr sexyman who can do no wrong", thanks.

first off, this whole, general post, isn't worded very well, mostly because i am/was irritated at the shitty writing this series does have and always has had. its great that you managed to piece together whatever the hell this is back in 2015, thats fantastic, good for you! that doesn't change that to me, and to an extremely large portion of the fanbase, this felt very badly done and phoned in because the amount of clues that Were dropped (if you can even say they were actual clues at all) were far and few inbetween, and wouldn't lead someone to believe that william is pumping hallucinogenic fear gas into his childrens bedrooms. when you set up shit in a certain way, people are going to believe that Thats What The Story Is, because thats typically how storytelling. yknow. works. this isnt some masterful plot twist, hell, this isnt even point a to point b. ive always thought that the "closed due to leaks" thing was william trying to cover his ass because an animatronic he built MURDERED HIS OWN CHILD and he was attempting to come up with an excuse/a coverup. a lot of other people Also thought this. it's not an out there assumption to make, and acting like people are stupid for not managing to get "fear gas chambers" from "closed due to leaks" just doesnt seem fair to me lmfao

second of all, it wasnt a silly headcanon i came up with and got MAD that scott would DARE to interfere with MY AFTON that he cared for his children, it was based off evidence that was given to us in the games, because william afton in The Games is different to william afton in The Books. not everything is going to line up. for example, in the books, he sedated/put the kids to sleep before killing them, which would demonstrate a level of care of some kind, or at least a lack of complete cruelty when it comes to the murders. but i dont think he did that when he killed charlie outside in the rain. do you understand what im getting at? their characterization isnt identical in a manner of ways, and since i apparently wasnt Smart Enough and i was too absorbed in my "uwu tumblr sexyman afton" interpretation to get scotts supposedly master plan correct or whatever, i interpreted the following as him (though in a fucked up helicopter parent sort of way) trying to keep an eye on and protect his children while he was busy working because hes a neglectful piece of shit:

security cameras all over the house and in bedrooms

circus baby being modeled after elizabeth, and william repeatedly telling elizabeth to stay away from circus baby, presumably because he didnt want her to get hurt (i dont think this is an insane leap of logic to make either)

the fredbear plushie being a way to monitor evan specifically as he is constantly terrified (among other things regarding his own motives)

generally, i dont think someone who essentially founded chuck e cheese would hate children, let alone his own kids

your argument includes the fact that someone who loves their kids wouldn't do any of these things. this isnt true. someone whos a Good Parent wouldnt do these things. someone whos a Bad parent but still loves their kids to some degree might. theres a big difference there. evil people have things they care about, and i personally think that having afton care about his children but being a bad parent who goes about it in a Bad Way is much more interesting than him just being some abusive dad lmfao. im not trying to make him cute or redeemable or whatever the fuck else you might think. it may not be the perfect unconditional love that Good Characters and Good People are capable of, but we are both well aware that he's neither of those things, yes?

while none of those things were stated as being outright canon ways he cared about his kids with afton turning to the camera and telling the reader that, it was still a theory of mine that got disrupted a bit, and i feel like being upset over something like that is fair. not to pull the "im literally neurodivergent and a minor" card, but FNAF and Namely william have been a special interest of mine (autism) for nearly 9 years now. im going to be a little bit sensitive about this kind of thing. especially when my favorite character of all time who i hold dearly to me gets a wrench thrown in what i thought was his characterization by shitty writing

everyone's interpretations of the timelines and characters differ, ive just been very frustrated that people keep acting like this was the plan the whole time and shitting on people who got upset about it. scotts been phoning it in for the whole 9 years hes been making fnaf, but youd think at this point maybe, just maybe, they'd learn when to leave things behind. apparently not. (for the record, i do think it was michael in fnaf 4, and i thought it was likely the illusion discs if not a nightmare induced by the guilt of killing his younger brother. having it be the nightmare option is more compelling to me as well, considering it, oh, i dunno, Gives The Protagonist Motivation And Depth, but i guess we should throw that out the window too since everyone knew this was coming and 95% of the fanbase just happened to miss it)

honestly? im mostly irritated by the fear gas stuff because if its actual intention is to explain fnaf 4, then my main reasoning for why william actually cared about his kids in the game canon is out the window. if people are correct, and the monitors didnt exist to watch them to make sure they were safe (considering he was never home or working on shit relating to his career) but Instead existed to monitor them when their rooms were being pumped with fucking. hallucinogenic gas. god. pulling my hair out