#pretty sure this is the first non idol x reader or idol x oc fic ive written
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blackbird - choi san
pairings :: choi san x jung wooyoung guest appearances :: son seongjun (castle j; mcnd) genres/au's :: angst, fantasy, pining best friend!san, best friend!wooyoung, lowkey sorta yandere!san in one section viewer rating :: 13+ content warnings :: cursing, blood, knives, name calling, mentions of hurting a close friend word count :: network tags :: @preciousillusions-net @k-labels @cacaokpop-fics @timenote-library song :: blackbird; black veil brides a/n :: i was too lazy to edit the title & idol out of the header this is one of my first fics i ever wrote SHUT UP OKEH!! and also the second section was originally san x bf!hongjoong, but ive been obsessing over woosan lately and its more canon and makes more sense so i went ahead and changed it to pining!san x bestfriend!wooyoung
(reposted from old acc)
living near and endless night / you'll always be the ghost in these halls i run from...
the voice behind him, the voice of the boy chasing him, cackled with insanity and immeasurable lust for blood... san couldn't get away.
he just fucking couldn't.
so san stopped. he skidded to a stop in the middle of the hallway and turned around, bristling himself. he closed his eyes tight and bowed his head, breathing heavily, ready for the feeling of the knife in seongjun's hand to pierce through his chest.
but when the pain never came, san looked up from the puddle of blood he was standing in. seongjun was standing there a few feet away, an uncertain grin on his face.
he was just...
standing there.
"just kill me already." san spat. "you've killed all my friends, the only people i care about. you've taken everything i love away from me, what more could you want? i have nothing else to give you! you know you want to, you disgusting, blood-starved little psycho."
"i..."
"what?"
"i can't, man..."
it took a moment for san to get over the initial shock of what the other boy had just said. but once the shock faded, san sighed heavily. a song came into his head- one that the crazy little monster in front of him had sang to himself so many times...
"you'll always be the ghost in these halls i run from..."
hold on to hope / take back your soul
wooyoung let loose a broken, tired sigh that unintentionally came out as a sort of half-whimper, half-groan.
"why, san..."
"i didn't mean for any of this to happen, joong, i mean it... seriously, i love you..." san whimpered, "you're my best friend, i love you..."
"if i was your best friend, then none of this would have happened."
san had unknowinglly hurt his best friend.
again.
wooyoung had come home to san crying in a ball on the couch, and being the soft-ass caring little shit he'd always been, wooyoung immediately went to comfort him. they'd sat in silence for a while, san with his head nuzzled into joong's chest, before joong got up the courage to ask what was wrong.
when san confessed to what he'd done, he hadn't planned out how he was going to deal with the backlash...
and now he had to dea with the extra consequences.
san wanted to move over to sit next to his friend, hold him close to his chest...
maybe forget any of this ever happened...?
but he could see that joong didn't want that right now.
so san had nothing else to do but work it out. he had to hold on to that little bit of hope, keep his eyes on what he had left...he had to fight for the man he loved. san had never known someone who was as loving, understanding, and caring as wooyoung, and he wasn't about to let go of him just because of a silly, stupid, idiotic mistake.
"woo... please..."
"san, what else do you want from me?? you've done this two times before, i... i just can't..."
"i can't do this anymore, san..."
~+~
so just look into the sky and you’ll become the blackbird...
san's heart skipped a beat as the lyric entered his head.
he could simply...
run away.
it wasn't as if his mother was abusing him or anything, but she wasn't exactly being very much of a mother, either. she hadn't been for just about the last three years now.
they'd never find him. san was a master of hide and seek, he'd gotten it from his childhood. his father had hated him with a passion, and frequently come after him in a blind rage over his own miserable life, up until his mother came home and caught him red-handed one day.
no one had dared fuck with choi san ever since.
san held onto hope, clung onto that one shining thought: he would be eighteen soon. in less than an hour.
the second he turned eighteen, he could join the ravens and soar away in the currents of the wind.
when that split moment came, san all but ran from the house, a maniacal grin smearing his handsome, chiseled features during every second. he'd packed away everything he'd need days before, his possessions were already with mingi and jongho. san's mother had just walked in the door when san woke up; she seemed to know exactly why he was so excited...
she didn't even say goodbye.
but it wasn't like san cared.
san stood in the gravel driveway of his house, the brightest smile on his face that had ever been. he thought gleefully of maybe taking a last look at the place he'd been forced before to call his home, but his face wouldn't move toward the wreck of a house that was no longer his home.
it still wasn't like san cared.
san looked happily into the bright, blue sky and willed his invisible wings to come out of hiding. he let them fly open and grinned once more, the smile on his face and the freedom still shining in his dark, warm, chocolate-brown eyes as he spread his wings, shifting into a blackbird and soaring away into the golden morning twilight.
© seonghwas-lighter 2023-2024.
#chase.exe 🌑#cacaokpop#k labels#ateez#san#choi san#woosan#ateez angst#ateez yandere au#ateez fantasy au#best friends to lovers#choi san fantasy au#ateez shapeshifter au#ateez ships#kpop scenarios#ateez scenarios#reaaaaally not sure how to tag this...#pretty sure this is the first non idol x reader or idol x oc fic ive written
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Name: reya
Writing Blog URL(s): @chu-ni
Age: 19
Nationality: african-british
Languages: english, swahili, korean
Star Sign: libra
MBTI: enfp/entp (it always changes lol)
Favorite color: purple!
Favorite food: i really love chicken burgers
Favorite movie: princess and the frog
Favorite ice cream flavor: vanilla!!
Favorite animal: elephants
Go-to karaoke song: fancy - twice
Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? caramel frappe with whipped cream, in general i prefer tea though
Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? secretary general at the UN….or an author
If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? making anyone agree with me and do what i want them to do
If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? ancient egypt!!
If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?.....no.
Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? neither if i could lmfao but i’d go for 100 chicken sized horses
If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? the nerd who’s actually really pretty after she gets a cool makeover
Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? im not sure about aliens, but i definitely believe in ghosts and spirits.
What are some small things that make your day better? when i can have moments to myself to enjoy my own company. or when someone asks me what i want to eat and they bring it for me 🥺
Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? uhm…...probably the fact that i write fanfiction lol..but outside of that! i sing in the shower. and i talk to myself a lot.
What fandom(s) do you write for? nct dream currently, but in the future i want to expand to other groups!
When did you post your first piece? 17th of June 2018.
Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i can never write just one genre. predominantly i write fluff with a dash of angst for spice simply because i love a story that has an issue and then having that issue be resolved for a happy ending. when i started my blog i was 17, and so i said i wouldn't write smut. now that i'm older im feeling more and more comfortable writing suggestive content at the very LEAST.. so maybe in the future i might write smut, who knows? i like writing fluff because i like making people feel good, but i like adding angst to it because i feel like the contrast between the two is very *chefs kiss* to me.
Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i only write x readers!
Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? i first got tumblr when i was 13 years old and i was a fresh kpop fan lmfao. i wanted somewhere that shared my interests. of course i discovered x reader fics on here and i was in awe, i guess of how much power writers had in contributing to fandom content and keeping readers satiated. i’d always loved to write and so i’d always wanted to start my own writing blog, and for 2 years i did write for other blogs! it wasnt until 2018 that i finally took the leap and decided to start my own, because i wanted to impact people's emotions and take them on a journey through my writing.
What inspires you to write? what inspires me….teen movies, music!! music is a big one for me, and also the books that i read. i also grew up playing otome games so the plots and writing from those influence my writing a lot.
What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i really enjoy writing royalty!aus as well as exes!aus. i love to do them cause they require me to build a world and with royalty aus specifically i love weaving together bits of political intrigue, or arranged marriages, etc. its so much fun!!
What do you hope your readers take away from your work? that if this world is too rough or too much, you can always escape from it. it might not be physical, but immersing yourself in a universe that's entirely different for a little while can help soothe you.
What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? usually i try and take breaks. the problem with that is that my breaks can go on for longer than i’d like and im trying to fix that. so my other solution is to read read read!! read as much as i can, or go back to books that i loved. ask myself what i liked about the writing, what are some parts that i thought were amazing examples of good writing - i note them down then see if i can apply that to my own work. another thing i do is take a break from writing my longer, fleshed out works and write blurbs! blurbs are a great way for me to write but not feel like its tedious because i don't have to spend as much time on them and it gets me into the groove of writing without feeling stressed out.
What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? my favourite piece of work is miscommunication. it took me months to write that, even after i lost all the work halfway through, and its the longest piece of work i have written so far, so its kinda like my baby. my most successful is candy jar. its also the work i owe my blog exposure to - it was the first piece i published, and it was also the first piece of writing i did in around 4 years.
Who is your favorite person to write about? i don't have much out for them, but i really enjoy exploring mark’s and jeno’s characters. they're people, but in my work i enjoy analysing them and judging how they’d act in different contexts.
Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? the only difference for me is that fanfiction (depending on the fandom) has some of the stuff fleshed out for you already, such as the world its in. if youre the type to write AUs then the only thing you already have is the characters - the planning, the writing, the drafting, and everything else is still the writer's responsibility. therefore there isn't much of a difference between the two for me.
What do you think makes a good story? a good story, to me, is one that takes me on a journey. it could be any genre, but i like to feel immersed and connected to the characters and the world in it. also aside from the obvious, like good grammar, a good story feels natural to read. i don't feel like skim reading half of it.
What is your writing process like? my writing process consists of me getting inspiration - usually from a song, or a film or a book ive read or a game ive played - i note down my idea and who i want the story to be about, and then bullet point the whole story, with some snippets of particular dialogue i want the reader or the other person to say at certain scenes. i then open another document ( i have a writing app on my phone, called werdsmith, so i use that!) and set a word count goal i want to hit so i can track my progress and start writing the fic, with fleshed out language and exposition. when im done (usually after a couple weeks up to a few months, depends on the length of the plan) i read through it to fix any mistakes, then i transfer it to docs so i can read it again and italicise any areas i feel need it.
Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? i...don't think so. mainly because the original fiction i read and would like to write for myself is predominantly fantasy, whereas the fanfic i write on my blog is usually non-idol, normal fics.
What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? im a SUCKER for enemies to lovers, royalty ofc, “and they were roommates”, and i think superhero aus are really cool but there isnt enough of them :( idol/you as member aus....not feeling her… also abo/werewolf/vampire aus….not feelin em
How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? a LOT. a HUGE amount!! i said before how i like giving my readers somewhere where they can immerse themselves as an escape, even for a short while. hearing about how my work affected them, made them feel, makes me feel less insecure about what im writing and thus more confident to publish it.
What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i’d say reblogs. and also putting out more content. when i first uploaded candy jar i went to my one of my favourite writers (jaeminlore) and asked her if she'd be okay with reading it and giving feedback. to my surprise she loved it and her reblogging it to all her followers is literally what gave me a bunch of followers all of a sudden who loved what i’d written. to keep that momentum i created more and more content, and while i haven't uploaded as often as i've wanted to or written as much as i’d wanted to, i can say i have a good amount of work on my masterlist for people who are looking for more to read.
Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 100%. fanfic has an unfair reputation for just having bad writing and cringey fics (and i feel like this is because of the way society views the demographics who predominantly consume and create it), when in reality i feel like those who write fanfiction are extremely talented and selfless people. they're on the internet creating content for free for people to enjoy and like any other work of art they're putting time and effort into it. i think it should be respected. any form of art is going to have its good and bad sides.
Do you think art can be a medium for change? hmmm….yes. i feel it can be a way to reflect the thoughts of people and also be a way to inspire people to do more.
Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes. sometimes i feel like i'm forcing myself to write because i feel like if i don't then people will forget about me or they’ll forget about my blog. while what i choose to write about is for me, i feel like the speed of my writing and what im writing isn't to the quality i want it to be cause i feel like i gotta get it out for people to read.
Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? i've never felt that way!
Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? only 2 of my friends know, and i only told them like. a week ago!
What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? i wish you guys would message me more! i'm quite a sociable person, and i’d love to have regular anons who talk to me 👉🏽👈🏽
Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think one common thing amongst all writers is that we write what we want to read. so don't feel like nobody's gonna read your work, cause somebody will. you gotta act like your work is top tier even if someone says it isn't - always write the best you can, and just do it! like don't even give yourself time to overthink it, write that fic, make it look pretty, upload it onto tumblr and do not be afraid to ask your favourite fic writers to read your work once its up!! i’d be happy to read and give feedback for any fic writers as well so don't feel afraid!
Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? ive been on here for 7 years….i grew up on this site lmfao. but i don't think i regret joining tumblr once.
Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? shes not very active anymore and i miss her very much but user hyuck-s was so supportive and i love her!!
Pick a quote to end your interview with:
she believed she could, so she did.
BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL
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ff realignment- the evolution of fic preferences.
I would say that I have evolved in fic preferencing maybe 3 or 4 times in my lifetime.
we can call this a fanfic realignment (because i’m a hs senior in cali that just took civics-)
so basic story- i started reading fanfiction on friggin winglin when I was in the 6th grade in 2011.
isn’t that crazy?! W I N G L I N.
that super old crappy site that was the OG OF OG FICS. I MISS IT SO MUCH OMG. it was taken down in 2014.
which brings me to
realignment #1 or ok. not realignment. but my FIRST fanfic preference behavior.
initial behavior
2011-12 SHINee x OC fics vampire!au fics romantic (cliche tbh) fics
okay here’s my shpeal on that. I got into kpop thru SHINee. SHINee was my #1. and honestly I really didn’t like winglin’s interface that much- and i’m pretty sure that’s understandable. the site is an archive that really just was filled with nostalgic memories- but anyways because of that i tried to find other fic sites. I played around with many, but settled my nomading fresh boob of a kpop fanfic reader at asianfanfics. the like top legacy of kpop fanfiction site imo to be honest.
then again i read winglin on my old DSi. i didn’t have a smart phone or anything so...
OK RANDOM INTERSECTION. THIS WAS WHEN AFF WAS LIKE SO OLD THEY DIDN’T HAVE BOOKMARKS. THIS WAS OLD STYLE THEME WITH THE NOTIFS ON THE SIDE IN BLACK AND ORANGE TEXT. BEFORE FIC RECS. BEFORE ADS. BEFORE HIGHLIGHTS. THE TEXT SIZING. EVERYTHING COOL. I REMEMBER HAVING STACKS OF POST ITS WITH MY BOOKMARKS FOR EACH STORY I READ- I READ SO MUCH THAT MY MIRROR WAS LIKE FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH BOOKMARKS I COULDNT EVEN USE IT FOR ITS OG PURPOSE ANYMORE. i still have most the post its to be honest.
realignment #1
2012/13-2014 (rough estimates) INFINITE x OC fics vampire!au fics dbskgirl4ever fics********* angst fics
okay by now, i’ve completely converted to aff. i have also completely converted onto INFINITE. my second gen #1. That new bias group. And I found them through a google link of dbskgirl4ever’s fic ‘Nothing’s Over’. OK SRSLY THE DBSKGIRL4EVER FIC MOVEMENT WAS A PHENOMENON ON ITS OWN. SO MANY PEOPLE FLOCKED TO HER FICS. AND SHE ONLY GOT MORE POPULAR FROM THERE. this was also the time where dbskgirl4ever fics were o p e n. before the wall came up. i was lucky enough to befriend her in her more trusting days so i had access to her friends only fics altho (that really upset me because guysss just stop plagiarizing her :( i would reread her fics if i could but now theyre closed to even friends.)
realignment #2
2013-2014? INFINITE x OC fics ANY BOY GROUP x OC fics vampire!au fics angst fics SOME yaoi fics. SOME smut fics
I started playing around with reading any group fics. because at this point, i was so driven into kpop that i loved so many groups. too many tbh. also towards the end of the timespan i started delving sort of into yaoi. boyxboy sweetness and it felt really... weird. ESPECIALLY when I started reading smut o m g i tried it out on my.. 15th birthday because i thought what the hey, we 15 now. even though thats... not 18+? idk how i thought back then.
realignment #3
2014 BOY GROUP fics. no pairing. character centric fics. vampire!au fics angst fics smut fics
for the most part the biggest difference i would say is the transition from liking oc girlxboy fics to JUST boy group fics. less to none oc. that was a major transition that needed to be stated. the main groups i read were INFINITE, B.A.P, B1A4, VIXX, NU’EST, etc. i avoided exo fics like the plague tbh. although there were times when i admit reading some because they were written so well.
realignment #3.5
mid-2016-2017 EXO yaoi fics. o n l y vampire!au fics abo!verse fics supernatural fics angst fics smut fics more domains! AFF, LJ, AO3
okay so this is the now. the reason i didnt have 2015 at all is because I had a year or so break from fanfics. I literally died from fiction and aff for a long while. and im just gonna slip in that the reason was school and relationships. tldr got a bf and then when we broke up like- i dont even remember- 358 days later? i just dived back in for comfort and HERE I AM :D being really bad trash once again- my part time life job- as i slowly transition into a young adult o m g. the first quartile of 2016, i slowly fell in love with e x o because of school- blog post about it here- and from there it was right in alignment with the breaking of ups so i ended up trying out exo fics and i just FELL IN DEEP LOVE. and now i just cant go back. I can’t read non exo fics. i cant really accept oc fics. i like yaoi and i like exo. that’s all there is to it. idk how my lense went exo gay fics in an instant. i ship exo with exo. any exo pairing i can see it. bts? nope i can’t ship bts i just don’t see it. i really wish i did though, because there’s some really good looking bts fics out there on the domain.
conclusion
so the main reason i wanted to just let this be out here is because it’s just hard to grasp. crazy to notice how much a person can change in a lifetime. years may seem long, but looking back it was over a course of only 6 years. that’s pretty short to keep changing fic preferences. especially in my case how drastic it changed?
i went from SHINee x OC fics to EXO yaoi only fics. like woah. my mindset back then was ‘yaoi is sorta weird. i cant imagine boyxboy fics.’ so i never touched them. i couldn’t really read them because i just didn’t see an interest to it and i couldn’t picture it. i typically don’t read what i can’t imagine. but now my mindset is like ‘i cant handle oc fics. a fake character- especially a girl- isn’t what i want to read about. I want to read about real people. real idols. exo pairings are also very hot (couldnt help myself)’ idk sorry if you dont see it. it just feels so... wow to me.
just random thoughts i have.
keep readin fics.
(o and if u noticed how i never grew out of my vampire!au and angst!au phase then pat yourself on the back. i just never grew out of them tbh. i’ll love vampire!au fics forever. vampire knight before kpop was my life. that’s why.)
#fanfiction#realignment#fanfic#preferences#ficpreferences#talk#randomthoughts#behavior analysis#aff#lj#ao3#asianfanfics#winglin#livejournal#archiveofourown#behavior#thoughts#kpop#kpop fics#fictalk
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