#ive got people.... i can make it happen....
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After the triumphant release and critical acclaim for The Beekeeper's Picnic (congrats, BTW!), what is next on your agenda? A sequel? A return to comics? Or something else entirely?
Well, as soon as I've cleared my inbox full of people of various legitimacies wanting keys to review, fixed more reported bugs, figured out how to send through an updated version to Steam in a way that doesn't break existing saves (because that happened last time... 😨) and I've figured out how to get achievements working on Steamdeck, and I've figured out how to get a version working for Mac, and I figured out how to deal with some of the lovely fan translations people have already made for the game from a tech point of view (!!!) and worked out if a want to go down the route of porting to any other platforms...
I don't know!
But in all seriousness BKP is going to be producing work for me for a long time to come, but I'm also aware that none of it is creative work, so I am going to try to take some time to begin new creative projects soon. Ive got lots of ideas, but I probably won't share any until they're a little more solid!
(And I'm going to rule out a Beekeeper's Picnic sequel in people's expectations, or anything particularly Sherlockian - but I can imagine making something with similar vibes, perhaps!)
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Meat puppet.

Protecting a fire with bare hands ch:14
<<<<Hello to you all feels good to be back, and feels good to say I am back with another chapter. I wanna say that this romance is slow I apologize but it never felt right to just have them kiss and make out but trust me I DID try. but I feel you can tell they have feelings but they will kiss I am a sucker for kissing.>>>>>>>>>>
--------youre all ive ever wanted.-----------tw: torture
“Did you think about me while I was away?”
Heimdall cracked his knuckles as he gazed out over the water, its surface shimmering like molten gold in the sunset. He turned to face the colossal wall that had confined him for what felt like an eternity. “Idiot,” he muttered under his breath, that familiar pull of your words lingering in his mind.
Crouching down, he caught sight of his reflection in the still water—he was a mess, and he despised it. His hair was damp with the sweat of exertion and the remnants of the very water you had brought after he—
His hands trembled as he looked down, the crimson stains on his palms gaudy and haunting. Your blood. Panic clawed at his chest as he released a shaky breath. He plunged his hands into the cool water, scrubbing furiously, desperate to cleanse himself of the stain that wouldn’t wash away.
He still felt disgust, and he went further into the water with a panicked breath, submerging into it.
-
Heimdall held you close to him as he made his way through Asgard. Thrúd had been behind him. Unfortunately, people had their eyes glued on you both and the children…Heimdall knew they loved you so much. Some were hiding or trying to ask Thrúd what happened. Heimdall grew tired, slowing down as he walked, looking down at you.
“Heimdall…it hurts.” Heimdall let out a shaky sigh. “Of course, it hurts. I cut off your arm.” You whimpered as he shifted you a bit in his arms. Suddenly blocking his path were two Valkyries. Heimdall looked up, too anxious to be angry. With a simple expression, he spoke, “Move.”
The Valkyries looked at you, “Golden prince, we can take her off your hands.” They went to grab you, but Heimdall pulled back, “Take her off my hands?! She’s not some burden. I have her.” The Valkyrie on the left approached “Sir, we c-“
Thrúd stepped up. “He said, he’s got her.” Heimdall looked down at her, smiling softly. The woman moved, and Heimdall continued, his legs shaking just a little, you were still mumbling gibberish. It was good because that meant you were alive.
It reassured him you were alive.
-
Heimdall slipped into fresh clothes, carelessly letting his bloodstained garments fall to the floor, knowing one of the keepers would deal with the mess. They weren't armor, just simple fabric, a stark contrast to the turmoil within him. It was late, but sleep was a luxury he couldn’t afford tonight. As he stepped out of his room, a gnawing emptiness churned in his stomach, filled only by the heavy weight of guilt.
As he made his way down the dimly lit corridor, he crossed paths with Sif. She reached out, pulling him closer, her expression a mixture of concern and compassion. “Heimdall… I heard the news. I’m so sorry. Was it that boy's father who did it?” Her piercing gaze lingered on him, catching the shadow of anguish in his usually vibrant eyes.
He’s in his own head and not everyone else’s.
Heimdall removed her hands. “It was me.” Sif dropped her arms, but before Heimdall could go, she said, “Heimdall, don’t blame yourself.” He shook his head, “I already do…”
Heimdall made his way to the small building that had a large white sign on it, that’s where he left you. Heimdall stopped, something catching his eye. turning to the right of him were two Midgardian kids. With gold…Heimdall approached them, and they looked at him with fear. “L-lord Heimdall! We’re sorry we didn’t steal it, we found it! Honest! We’re not lying, we promise.” The girl shook.
Heimdall crouched down, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. “I can see you're telling the truth, so there's no need to be scared. May I take a look?” With a hesitant nod, the smaller girl placed the object in his palm. He examined it closely, his brow furrowing. “It’s tarnished and honestly quite ugly—it's lost its shine and value. Such a shame.” He slipped it into his pocket, noticing the little girl's frown deepening as tears brimmed in her eyes.
Her sister quickly shushed her, but Heimdall couldn’t help but smile. “Oh dear, little one seems unhappy. We can’t have that, can we?”
Then, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he reached behind both girls' ears and dramatically pulled out two gleaming gold coins. Their eyes widened in awe, sparkling with wonder and excitement. Heimdall chuckled as he gave them both the coins. “Magic, I tell you.” He said, standing up again and walking away.
Pushing open the door, he walked to a nurse. “Oh, lord Heimdall, it’s been barely an hour since you’ve been gone, you can go home and rest!” Heimdall shook his head. “I’m fine, I don’t need rest, how is she?” The nurse's smile turned down slightly. “She’s lost a lot of blood; she’s stable, but she hasn’t woken up.” Heimdall nodded. “Can I see her?” The nurse bowed her head and led him to the room you were in, walking inside, it was the keepers of the Black Thunder, the couple that had taken you in as their own.
“Heimdall! Thank the gods you're here, we’ve been waiting for you to tell us what happened.” Heimdall put a hand up, “and I will, but not right now.” The nurse saw Heimdall wave her over, and she approached, leading your parents out. “Heimdall will come to you both, I’m sure.” Heimdall shut the door.
Plopping down on the seat, he watched you as you took soft breaths, a cloth damp with water over your head. Leaning on his knees, he pressed his lips together. He knew water couldn't heal this damage.
It had been a few hours of him just watching you. Heimdall pulled out the golden chain from his pocket. “One of your little Midgardian kids found it. It’s the same one, the one I put around your neck.” Heimdall scooted his chair closer, laying a soft hand on your cheek. “For the love of Odin, please wake up so I don’t have to feel awful anymore.” Heimdall looked down at the chain. “I can’t hear anything from your mind, it’s silent. It’s so quiet now that the quiet is loud.”
Heimdall laid his hand on your stomach. “I never realized how—silent everything was when you left.” Heimdall lifted his head, looking at your arm that was wrapped tightly. “Days passed slowly without you in Asgard. That night at the banquet, I was selfish, I was afraid you would take my spot on my father's side…but you wouldn’t do that, I was filled with jealousy.” Heimdall shifted slightly. “You would’ve stayed by my side through it all, and I hurt you. More than once.”
He was exhausted. He sighed and laid his head down on your side again, succumbing to sleep. Heimdall remembered the way you used to nap together when you both first became friends—well, when he eventually accepted you.
-
Heimdall had gotten back from the dwarf realm, but he was in bad shape. He went straight to be treated, and you didn’t see each other on the way; you were distraught. The helmets had just waved you off,
Heimdall had his arm in a sling and a wrap around his right eye. He had noticed there seemed to be heavy rain; he knew it was you, he’d be lying to say he wasn’t looking forward to boasting about his victories.
Pushing the door open to Black Thunder with one hand, he met eyes with your father as he cleaned the tables, “Ah- you came.” Heimdall nodded, “Yes, the weather is quite…wet. I’m guessing she’s crying over missing fluff in her pillows?” Your father snorted somewhat. He nodded his head to the stairs. “She was trying to find you for hours.” Heimdall frowned. “I was injured.” Your father shrugged and continued to the kitchen.
With a pent-up sigh, Heimdall approached your room, knocking, then opening the door after a moment of silence. You were sleeping soundly.
Heimdall looked at your bedside table. There was a stuffie, it was an animal, a wolf. Heimdall picked it up. “Where’d you get this from? There’s no place for wolves in this pride.” Heimdall chuckled, “Should’ve gone with a stuffed lion, they’re loyal.”
Heimdall looked at you and exhaustedly crawled into the bed beside you. “It’s good to be back.” He whispered before falling asleep, his back facing yours.
——
Heimdall was jolted awake when troops and the all-father walked in. “Heimdall.” He spoke, wiping the drool from his mouth embarrassingly. Heimdall stood up, back towards you, holding up his head, “All-father.”
….silence
Heimdall arched a brow, looking at the Valkyrie who walked in .“Why are you?” Odin hushed him. “The girl, have you noticed anything weird?” Heimdall shrugged after a moment lost in his thoughts, “No—I mean-…I cut off her arm.” He admitted shamefully, Odin walked past him and removed the cover you revealing your upper body, covering your breast with a single bandage, and the lower was just your pants. Heimdall turned in the same way as Odin. “What is the meaning of this?” Heimdall wondered, Odin's hands hovered on your skin as though he was scanning. Searching.
“Are you questioning me now?” Heimdall shrank back like an elephant from a mouse, “No father…” Odin stopped and leaned in, grabbing your arm, a bright glowing orange like a flame shone from the cracks in his fingers. Heimdall's eyes widened.
“Your suspicion was right, All Father truly, your knowledge is infinite.” The Valkyrie praised as she bowed her head. Odin clicked his tongue, “No…knowledge is something you have to take. I must know what lies in her mind.” Odin turned around after laying the cover on you, walking out with the group behind him. Heimdall leaned close to you whispering “I’ll be back.”, and ran after his father.
Odin held the shoulders of the nurse. “I want you to keep a close eye on her.” The nurse nodded and bowed. Heimdall followed his father, others disbanded, and it was just the two. Heimdall and he stepped into the ring of ravens as they ended up in the archives. “Father, I don’t understand. What was on her arm?”
Odin hummed “runes. Vanir runes. Old vanir runes are naked to the untrained eye. Except mine.” Heimdall looked down. “That can’t be Father, she has only been to Midgard.” Odin grabbed a book. “That is what she told you, yes? Heimdall, what happened to thinking? Has being outside the walls made you smooth-brained?” Heimdall looked down, “No father-I“
Odin shoved a book in his hands. “Gods, quit your mumbling. I’ve long cured that damn stutter, you are not a toddler.”
Cured.
Heimdall cleared his throat and looked at the pages. “These…are vanir traditions, berry crushing, rituals, sacrifices…why is this important?” Heimdall said, overlooking the page where a woman was using crushed berries to write a rune on her chin. “Heimdall, her mother…was Vanir.” Odin spoke before grabbing another book and giving it to him, throwing the other one.
Heimdall lowered his head, trying to reason. “Well, that’s expected, I mean, she did come from outside.”
Odin nodded, “Yes, but her father, her father is a traitor. He used to lead my armies; he was skilled with a sword and other things. He was my right-hand man.” Heimdall squinted at this
Stepping forward, “Father, I thought you knew nothing of—“ Odin let his head fall. “I knew all about him and his little witch he decided to run off with.” Heimdall arched a brow, and Odin continued walking with him through the halls. “We had broken the alliance with Vanaheim, and her father and mother were long gone. He betrayed me, us…Asgard and I could not allow it.”
Heimdall nodded slowly, his expression solemn. “I understand,” he said, with a hint of apprehension in his voice.
Odin, however, shook his head, his brow etched with a mixture of concern and anger.. “You don’t grasp the full gravity of the situation,” he replied, his voice resonating with authority. “Her father was scheming against me, plotting in the shadows. Meanwhile, her mother, through a web of manipulation, convinced your mothers to… bless the girl.”
Heimdall furrowed his brows, the realization dawning on him like a storm cloud. “So they cursed her with that magic,” he murmured, his tone heavy with understanding. “It may appear powerful, but in reality, it devours her from within, transforming what should be a gift into a shackle.”
Odin put a hand on Heimdall's shoulder. “It is not her fault, they planned to use her as a weapon. Her father believed in Freyrs 'truth.”
Walking back outside, Ravens started to circle the all-father. “But I saved her. From being a weapon.” Odin looked down, the birds circling him. “I killed them.”
Suddenly, he was gone, just like that. “Lord Heimdall! My lord, she has awoken!” Heimdall looked down, seeing something in his hand, a pendant. He’s seen it before, in your memories…in your mind during the hallucinations from the Norns.
——
Heimdall ran into the room only to yell and close his eyes, “Gods! I apologize.”
You laughed, the nurses quickly covering your breasts up. “Thank you, girls.” They bowed and walked out, giggling at Heimdall's posture. You sat up, “Heimdall.” You acknowledged, and he looked at you. Your eyes were dark, and you wore a smile, though you looked dazed. Heimdall approached you. “How are you feeling?” he demanded. You shrugged, “I’m alright…for losing an arm.” Heimdall frowned. “You should lie down.”
You shook your head, “No, too much to be done. The Midgardians—I promised to…dammit I forgot.” Heimdall crossed his arms “Even if you remembered you weren’t going to get your ass off that bed.” You looked at him and huffed in compliance. Looking down, you saw your sword. “Been holding that for me, watchman?” Heimdall looked down at it. “Yes, I kept it safe.”
You smiled, your eyes flickering down. Heimdall went to lay you back down. “You should rest,” he said, tucking you in and shaking your head. You said, “Stay. Don’t go.” Heimdall saw something flicker in your mind, making his eyes soften.
The same as the night of the celebration.
He nodded and sat down on the chair, his hand holding yours. “Heimdall..” you spoke after a minute or so, he looked up at you with raised brows, “What is it?” You sighed “What am I gonna do, look at me, I’m completely fucked.” Heimdall frowned. “Just one arm isn’t going to stop you. I’ve seen you overcome things.” You pulled your hand away, placing it over your eyes. “Heimdall, what about when I want to get married! Who’s gonna marry a one-armed Betty?” Heimdall sneered, “That's what you're worried about?”
You sniffled, “Yes.” Heimdall growled, “Not the fact that you could be infected? Or that you will have trouble fighting? You’re worried about who will lie with you?!”
You looked at him with tears clouding your view, “I just want someone to love me,” you whispered as you wept softly. Heimdall leaned back, his eyes turning sympathetic.
“Love is foolish. You’re not missing out on anything.”
——
It had been a few days, you were up on your feet again. You were excited to get back to normal.
Normal.
“Morning kiddos!” You said, happily standing on top of one of the grassy hills outside the wall, they all looked up at you in their training clothes. “It’s so nice out today!” You said they yawned tiredly. “Why’re we out here so early?” one of the Midgardians said, tiredly leaning on their friend, who was Asgardian by the way. You smiled, “Well, I wanted us to explore the wilderness, and I have been given the okay to take you all out of Asgard!”
The kids perked up. “Really?” One of them spoke, “…Wait, did Heimdall approve?” you groaned. Why does everyone think Heimdall runs things?
The kids shrugged, “Well, you’re still recovering.”
You laughed “One arm has nothing to do with anything. I’m still just as strong as you guys” the kids looked up at you playfully “Prove it.”
You sighed pulling off your cloak.
—————
“What’re you doing?” You said climbing on the fence sitting down and watching Heimdall wave his arms in a Fluid motion. His eyebrow twitched before sighing “balancing.” You snorted “Who’d you learn that from? Thor?” Heimdall took a deep breath “No, Tyr.” Your eyes widened “Oh…”
Heimdalls motions became faster as you flinched as your hair whipped your face from the wind. The wind was blowing hard and the grass danced as the clouds disappeared, the sun shining through…
‘He will bring light and smite the wicked.’
Heimdall stopped and opened his eyes overlooking the field. He turned to you with an indifferent face. “Want to learn?”
——-
Using your only hand you held it over your chest pushing your shoe into the ground, the kids waited.
“Is it supposed to be happening?” One of them said but was shushed by the others. You could feel it, the earth like in Vanaheim. Taking a deep breath there were loud noises. You opened your eyes hearing the kids mumbling. You looked up seeing how water towered over you all, but the water fell back into its original form as soon as you stopped concentrating.
You smiled back at the kids “Let us go!” You said happily skipping into a portal that formed hopping into the other realm.
With a happy sigh you took a deep breath in “Breathe it in my students, welcome to Midgard.” The kids huddled close, holding themselves. The cold air was already forming ice on their lashes.
Skoldr huddled to you closest the others teased him for his crush on you but you found it adorable. “W-why have w-we come here-“ you looked down at him with a warm smile “Because you all have grown accustomed to…well peace, none of you have ever faced true foes or been in true danger.” You yawned and sat on a rock.
You manifested your staff in your hand slamming it on the ground causing a loud ring.
“Today's topic, ancient fighting.” You said your staff disappearing
Suddenly there was a rumbling sound. The kids all turned to what seemed to be a rock but it started to move and stand forming a giant ice form.
The kids panicked looking at you “Are you going to help us?!” You looked at them while cleaning your sword “Help with what, you have your weapons, and you’ve been trained by me and Heimdall even Thrúd. Now it is up to you.” Suddenly one of the boys, aradin shot an arrow at the creature, making it turn to them slowly.
You chuckled “I’d like to say it wasn’t attacking you and it was being docile. Lesson one is, not everything has to be your enemy. Now you for sure have to fight it.” The kids were running around like headless chickens dodging the beams. You laughed at them “Find its weakness!” The kids yelled at each other bickering as they dodged the projectiles from the frost ancient.
You held up your sword checking for any damage “If shooting or hitting the outside isn’t working shouldn’t you focus your attack elsewhere?” You said calmly, but today was not the day for victory. Your eyes caught the kids shaking as they laid on the ground hit by the reoccurring frost waves from the ancients stomps.
You sighed “alright, that’s enough.” You spoke, raising your right hand and clenching a fist the frost ancient melting in an instant. You grunted getting up from your seat walking to the kids as they wiped the snow off of them.
“You have to work together.” You said pointing towards the blue icy core of the ancient floating in the air. “If you all weren’t so busy fighting or competing you’d see the core was the obvious hit spot.”
The kids sighed disappointingly. “Well it’s easy for you, you’ve been here before.” You nodded “Yes I have but I was alone. You guys are not, and hopefully it stays that way.” The kids all muttered to each other as you walked ahead of them leading them through the trails. You smiled seeing it, Tyrs Temple. You turned to the kids “This is Tyrs temple, now mine. It’s where I stayed when I was away.” You smiled “It’s frozen now but this is the lake of nine, see the giant monoliths with the runes of the realms?” The kids looked around in awe.
One of the kids ran up to your side. “Is it true you rode a dragon?” You laughed “I’ve said it before you guys, I saved the dragon, that doesn’t mean it let me ride on its back.” The kids groaned. You smiled “How are you all growing accustomed to the weather?”
Penelope let out a dramatic sigh, pulling her cloak tighter around her. “It’s absolutely freezing! I’d much rather be in Asgard right now.”
You gave her a knowing hum in response, trying to lighten the mood. “I understand, but if Ragnarok is really on the horizon, where will you all take shelter?”
The kids gathered around you, their wide eyes fixed on your face, curiosity dancing in their expressions.
You quickly covered your mouth, a laugh escaping as warmth flooded your cheeks. “Mm—excuse me, I have no idea why that just slipped out.” But even as you chuckled, a thread of panic tightened in your chest.
“What's wrong? Are you okay?” the kids pressed, concern etching their young faces.
Your gaze fell to your sword, which suddenly vibrated fiercely in your grip. It was as if it had a voice of its own, whispering secrets just beyond your comprehension. You squinted at it. “My sword—it’s… talking?”
Skoldjr nodded, his eyes wide with excitement. “Yeah! You said it could, you remember, right?”
Staring at him, confusion set in. “What? No—no, I don’t remember that.”
In an instant, the world around you dimmed, and a violent tremor rippled through the ground, as if reality itself was unraveling around you.
‘Now you are out of Asgard, we will break the wicked hold of the false prophet! I shall strike it!’ Your sword boomed suddenly, the sword handle glowed orange, it started to heat up, burning your hand, making you scream, you couldn’t let go.
The fire felt like it was going through your veins, bursting your vessels, and traveling into your heart. The kids backed up, panicking as you fell on your knees. ‘Wake up, banish the lies, remember!’ You looked at your sword, your nose bleeding, drops falling onto the snow, you gasped as your body shook.
Helheim. Your parents. Odin…false father, false prophet. Lies and pain and control, suffering and evil. It all came back to you. You took a minute before you pushed yourself up, you wiped your nose, looking down at your missing arm.
‘There you are, welcome back. Odin placed you under a forgetful trance when you were sleeping. But you remember now…’ your sword spoke softly and you nodded.
“I do.”
———
Gripping your sword tightly, your knuckles turned ghostly white as you trudged through the muddy roads of Asgard, each step leaving a mark in the soft earth. The smaller children scurried after you, their laughter fading into nervous silence as the swirling mud began to rise ominously around your feet. An oppressive blanket of gray clouds cloaked the sun, casting a shadow over the vibrant realm of the gods.
With a forceful kick, you slammed the door to the great lodge open, eyes immediately drawn to you in a mixture of surprise and curiosity. You stepped inside, your gaze scanning the crowd, seeking a familiar face amid the flickering firelight.
Sif approached, her expression a mix of concern and curiosity. "Hey, how was it with the kids in Midgard?" she asked, but you barely acknowledged her, your focus locked onto Thor, who swayed slightly as he turned to face you, the scent of ale thick on his breath.
“Where’s Odin?!” you demanded, your voice low and fierce, narrowing your eyes at him in challenge. He squinted, seemingly unfazed by the intensity of your glare. “Why? Got business with the old man?”
With a quick step closer, you bore into his gaze, the temperature in the room shifting. “Where is he? Do not test me.”
“Down the hall, in his study with Heimdall,” Thor replied, finally relenting. You spun on your heel, your heart pounding with urgency, and stormed down the dimly lit hallway. Behind you, Thor tipped his pint back, mumbling, “Good luck.” Thrúd and Sif exchanged puzzled glances, the tension still heavy in the air as you disappeared around the corner, determination fueling your every stride.
You made it to the door, but stopped. Going in alone was that foolish?
‘You are not alone, I am here.’
You pushed open the door with your shoulder walking up to the desk Heimdall had his eyes on your sword “Oh hello my dear-“ you kicked the chair out of your way “Don’t you fucking call me your dear!” You yelled. Heimdall stepped up, “Watch your words in front of the All-Father!”
“He is not all father, he takes the name of the true father in blood, he has stolen the skin of the real creator of the world!” Odin put up a hand, making Heimdall stand down. “Why are you upset, sweetheart?” You growled
“Why did you do it?”
“Do wh-“
“Kill them! Why did you kill my parents?!”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You do! You do! I know now, I remember!”
“You do.”
“The ravens…they brought you to my home for a second time, you were hiding, watching as I ran into my home to my mother, whom you brutalized. You mangled my father, and you reached for me…you reached for me, and I felt fear wash over me, water rushing through like a wave breaking down the house washing away my parents and me.”
Odin nodded, “I did it to protect you, your mother and father were wicked. You—“ you yelled, throwing the table to the other side of the room with your arm. “No more lies!” You said holding the sword to his throat, but you weren’t the only quick one.
You felt a blade against your throat as well. You turned your head slowly, looking at those purple bifrost eyes, and your lip wobbled slightly. “Back up.” He said. You looked back at Odin, then at him, I won’t ask again,” Heimdall warned. You pulled back, cutting Odin purposely in the process. Heimdall pushed you back at a safe distance.
Odin stood up, wiping his neck. “I knew if you remembered, it would be too much for you to handle.” You looked at Heimdall pushing the blade from your throat, making him step back. “You’re just like your father.” Odin continued,
“I hoped you would lead my army just like him, You are already a great teacher.”
You stepped forward only to be grabbed by Heimdall. “Mm-mm.” He shook his head.
You stepped back.. “I’ll never let you use those kids as another one of your trained killers. In your damn blood war!”
Heimdall sighed, “All father had his reasons! It is hard to accept it as the truth, but after some time im sure—“
You shook your head, “No! You can’t be serious, Heimdall! Odin is false, he lies! I’ll never trust him again.”
Odin grabbed your face, hands on each side of your cheek.
“I know…that’s why I need your mind.”
‘No!’ Your sword yelled
Suddenly, you felt yourself being pulled to your knees. You looked down, vines traveled up your leg, and tied themselves around you. You dropped your sword, struggling against the vines. “Father, is this necessary?” Heimdall spoke, looking down at you.
Odin ignored him, picking up your sword. “The vanir runes on your arm, where’d you get them?” You looked up at him. “I don’t have to tell you anything!” Odin frowned. “Wrong answer”. Suddenly, the vines pulled off your cloak, squeezing your injured nub, making you let out a low groan.
‘You will not break’ your sword whispered
Odin and Heimdall stood in front of you. You looked away from Heimdall, looking down at their boots in front of you. Odin sighed, “Who were you with in Vanaheim?” You closed your eyes, remaining silent. Heimdall flickered his eyes to you, “Just tell the truth.” You looked up at Odin, “Nobody!” You said.
Odin looked at Heimdall, who clenched his jaw as he looked into your mind, “Speak, boy!” Odin demanded.
“She’s lying.” You screamed as a vine pushed into your wound, making you sweat. Odin grunted as he took your sword and put it to your chin. “Who was she with, Heimdall?” He said, forcing your head up with your blade to look into Heimdall's eyes.
Heimdall's nose flared.. “Freyr.” You shook your head, “Heimdall no! It’s not like that!” Odin sighed, “I told you, use your brain, Heimdall.” Heimdall looked down at you in slight disappointment.
“You lied to me.”
You grunted in pain, “I did not lie! You never asked!”
Heimdall's brow furrowed. “You implied that you had only been to Midgard! But you were lying on the same ground as the enemy!”
You gritted your teeth. “Tell me what else you see,” Odin said. Heimdall looked around, his eyes purple as he looked into the air, his mind and yours were now linked.
“Freyr, his group. They helped her, healed her. He spoke of you, of my mothers, told her tales and stories.” You finally pulled your head away, letting out a pained cry from the psychic disruption.
“Heimdall, he is using you! He was the one who prohibited your mothers from seeing you.” Suddenly, the vine in your wound moved, making you scream as tears fell down your cheek. Heimdall turned to you, “Enough! There is only one liar here, and it’s you.”
Odin grabbed Heimdall's shoulder. “That’s enough.” Heimdall pulled from your mind, looking at you in front of him.
You sighed, “Heimdall…we’re a team. I lied because I was doing my job.” Heimdall scoffed, “Your job is to protect Asgard!”
You looked up at him furiously.. “No! I am the Protector of Realms! All the realms are taken under my wings. I protect all creatures, all people, from the world serpent to the worms in the soil. Hel I protect the soil!” You said with pride in your voice.
Odin walked behind you, grabbing your head and forcing you to look up. “I wished you could have stayed curious. It’s a shame you chose the path of your father.” You struggled to free yourself from his grasp, but it was futile. Suddenly, you felt something you had lost start to return to you; it tickled…It burned.
“Ta tilbake de delene av oss som er ��delagte.” Odin spoke in a soft tone. You let out a shaky breath as you felt the fabric of your clothes with your lost arm. Heimdall's eyes softened as he looked down. Your arm was back, but why didn’t he do that as soon as you got back?
He wasn’t done with you, though. Suddenly, the hold on your head tightened, and it was like a ring squeezed around your brain, making you let out a yell. Odin started to speak what was gibberish to you.
“Munn fïnn nafn Gorm” you gasped, realizing too late that it was a hex.
———
Heimdall stood in the dimly lit room, his gaze fixed on you as you crumpled to the floor, the thick vines slithering back into the ground like serpents retreating to their lairs. “When she awakens, take the helmets and your cat. Seek out Freyr’s little hideout and bring him to me, alive,” he commanded, his voice crisp and authoritative as he strode away, slamming the door with a resonant thud that echoed in the silence.
Heimdall surveyed the room, his eyes scanning the shadows, “It’s called a Graðungr, not a cat.” Suddenly, you twitched, a flicker of life igniting within you as your fist struck the wooden floor with a dull thump. With a slow and unsettling movement, you began to push yourself up, your body moving as if manipulated by unseen strings, like a marionette coming to life.
Your back popped as you stood up. Heimdall's eyes widened seeing yours glow bright purple with black around your eyes, like the Einherjar.
Like his.
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tagging my supporters @slaying69696969 @moongasux @jinxedsiren @r4spb3rries @meowmaii @leandraisnotfruity
@library-viking @lunaryasha
FUNNY THING:
medias that inspired this story was wicked, hunchback of nortre dame, Hamilton, uhh halsey, lana del rey video games, WICKED, call of the wild, the great gatsby, and other things....I'm not crazy.---lagncx
#writing#fanfiction#x reader#god of war ragnorak#heimdall x reader#heimdall god of war#heimdall gow#heimdall/reader#heimdall#fanfic#gow ragnarok#god of war x reader#god of war ragnarok#x female reader
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vote for the little prince in the latest @tmntaucompetition and upon their victory i'll send an associate to deliver to @beannary a handshake and a crisp high-five in my wake.
#i dont live anywhere near them#but i have CONNECTIONS okay#ive got people.... i can make it happen....#tmnt au competition#propaganda#i once again also love the tiz au but i am#obligated to campaign to bean my bestie and my beloved#the unofficial partner au to the gemini#and also tiz doesnt need my help either lmao <3
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said goodbye to him feeling weird!
#hes abt to go skiing w his friend im abt to go back to the uk to an ordinary life#he is perfect and I've felt appreciated none of the time and i think it's not his fault idk#not how racemic compounds work not how amphetamines work not how people work#french suits his mouth but german does a bit more i think . climbed to a very beautiful place#asked him to be my boyfriend then almost took it back yesterday. chemistry is not his strong suit#he carries things for me he catwalks he gives me his jumper when im cold he's good at kissing#he got me a beautiful necklace on a riverside in amsterdam he lights my cigarette with his#he holds my hand and his only complaint about me putting lipstick on his lips is that it wasn't evenly spread#his eyelashes are long and he's sharp and scarily productive and very good at navigation#always on time always the right place . i make a comment about being a beautiful collective and he says yes but it's odd that we havent#received the social benefits of it. what you mean? well when im alone or with friends people just...give me things. flowers baked goods#compliments a pack of cigarettes he says. he asks me if I've ever had to pay for a pack. i felt genuinely SO UGLY like am i. downgrading u?#ppl see me next to you and..what you get negative attractive points? gosh.#unfortunately shutting the fuck up is not my strong suit so i never let that go. he says nooo it's just you are So Gorgeous that you scare#people away. OK!!! he knows he's pretty and he uses this to his full advantage#you're cool and you're friends with all the club bouncers and you take such good care of me and you know#the state secrets and we can scheme murders together and i love that you love your friends#but when i joked we wont get to see each other in months and you said 'so?' that rly did smth very upsetting!!!!#twisting and backtracking is his strong suit but unfortunately seeing it happen is mine#and sometimes it's endearing and sometimes i want to kill him about it. he would be a very good diplomat#who the fuck stumbles gracefully on cliffs? anyway his voice is gentle and he says i don't want you upset#he holds my hands he says lets talk about it please i want you to know i appreciate you#he says all the correct things i believe 0 things out of his mouth and he can tell#i am snappy and terrible and calm. i tell him he's sweet and i want more i want to be missed#SHUTTING THE FUCK UP IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT! would you be ok being just friends? eventually.#and the next day ive decided what to do with you. what is that? you can still be my boyfriend. he says thank you.#walking is our strong suit so we go everywhere. i tell him about my best friend his head looks great thrown backwards#im afraid this is too good for me and I'm also afraid it's not enough. not asking questions is not my strong suit.
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The way people are becoming anti-children nowadays is really sad. And I'm not talking about people not wanting to have kids of their own, that's fine and something that shouldn't be shamed nor up to someone else to debate. No, I'm talking about the people who adamantly hate these little humans for simply existing, wanting to ban them from spaces due to them having emotional reactions that they are still learning to understand (you know, the kind of lessons that everyone had to learn and figure out at one point). It's gotten to the point where I've even seen these types of people genuinely support children being harmed and deny their hurt under the consensus of "Well then maybe they shouldn't be there," in your average public space. Like, imagine thinking hating on children, people who need assistance and guidance, is something to be proud of.
#like ill never forget this lady talking about how she took her son to some ice cream or cookie place#and let him look at the display (which is normal) only to have to pull him away bc a man got way to close#and when she talked about how weird it was (which makes sense bc it was) people were blaming her for letting her child run free (which wasn'#t what happened people just threw that in there to justify their hate & dismissing of the potential harm a child could've experienced)#“i vote that dogs should be on plans more than children bc they aren't as annoying!” is gross and brain dead bc only one of those two can#use the bathroom while the other uses it on a mat something in which has potential to stink up a plane & annoy people as well#you just want to bring your dog on board without all the hoops so you act like hating children will solve it#and coming from an animal lover dogs and other pets have the ability to annoy you on flights just as much as children can let's think now#also ive seen people say that children are wrong for experiencing emotional outbursts and im like “while it can be frustrating having to#deal with acting like you weren't in their shoes once and trying to shame them for these emotions is such a jerk thing to do“#also like its guaranteed that kids are going to cry on planes how about instead of shaming them & their parents maybe idk buy soundproof hea#-dphones? like parents are going to bring their kids traveling (as is their right) and are educating them the best they can that's not going#to change so why not take simple steps to prepare instead of hating on little humans? just saying#again this is not for people who just don't want to have kids! people who don't are just as valid as people who do#don't let anyone tell you otherwise#miscellaneous#idk necessarily how to tag this tbh#rants#tw for mentions of children being harmed
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bad news local hermit cannot commit to their main gig ( fic writing ) because people keep finding ways to get them to go out
#all of my friends know i dont do parties#so ive got several people asking to go to the bakery with me this weekend?#and to dinner?#and to the bookstore?#like 'oh can i tag along as well' and it kinda forces me to make a whole day out of it#which i appreciate because im still in my comfort zone but#what is happening#why are all of you people coming out of the woodwork#what did i do
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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the ace discourse aka acephobic exclusionism on this site got so bad that i was getting stress induced nightmares from it
so i resent anybody pulling that "haha wow that was a funny phase we all went through" shit. no. it was horrible
#the acephobic bullying on here is insane#and it still happens by the way. you're just seeing less of it#that shit started in 2013 by the way. as far as i recall#I Was There Gandalf#it all started with ''can ace people reclaim queer?" (yes. a thousand times YES) and then this site became a fucking warzone. for years#i've got most of the Popular Assholes on here blocked for this#i don't even want to go into the shit i've seen because i'll make myself sick with anger. it's happened before#anyways ive been called a traitor for being pro ace people
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. putting polaris in the same room as wolfe. just to see what they become
OUGH. oouuhhh hhmmm.. thats certainly something t chew on... from my best understanding atm of polaris, they change their appearance+demeanor to most appeal to one's desires-- in an effort to keep them close, i believe..? atleast, this is what my digging about provides me with..
ok so. this very much does shift with time so theres a couple fronts to tackle with This Thang. cause like.
for a majority of wolfes earlier life, her actual singular desire is. To Be Left The Fuck Alone. like yeah, she's incredibly outwardly abrasive and has spent a Lot of her life having Just An Absolutely Terrible Time, but none of that really manifests itself as any genuine want to Retaliate in any way. of her own volition, at least-- she has to be under a Lot of strain to actually genuinely lash out at someone. which is to say, If It Sucks, she WILL Hit Da Bricks. she wants to minimize energy cost as much as possible.
she didnt have a lot of drive. a simple 'get in and get out' is quite literally the most she can ask of . literally anything. so to be placed next to someone who Wants to get her to stay, to forge a connection; its. gonna suck. even if she Did have any prior connections to pull on (which she might, but im not sure. were not really sure.) theres a high chance it actually repels her. she hates reminders like that-- she wants to move the hell on already. (i cant help but wonder why. even With a potential 'what if you got another chance?' implication, the aversion still stands. what do you mean by this.)
but then, of course, this Starkly changes with the introduction of rose. after that? it is comedically easy djhfgdj
not only is there an Actual Physical person that she pretty much just Blindly Trusts, but she also starts having Actual Wants past 'dont talk to me' and 'let me mind my own fucking business.' its tenuous, but she Does start more openly caring about the safety of other people, even if she doesnt really particularly know them. but that's a much more slow, kind of mild thing. the easiest (albeit less thorough) way is to present as someone who genuinely needs help- especially if theyre particularly young. its more distant, but she Will try to help.
and then theres the fucking. Situation. with rose. of course she'd be highly on edge about the entire ordeal (thats just how she Is,) but its not a terribly difficult part to play on the surface level because. well. yeah. she misses her. she Wants for things to just suddenly be okay, it was fine, and they all make it out okay. and if rose says its okay, then its probably okay, because why would rose lie to her?
but then theres the Problems. see, i havent exactly pinned down the precise Details of what happens, but its been like that from the very start. in an attempt to keep wolfe from being pulled into a self-destructive spiral, yet another monster they just Have to put down because As Sad As It Is, There's No Other Option; (and also keep the same thing from happening to anyone else too, i guess,) she finds a way to take that role for Herself-- a self-induced loss of control with the goal of 1) exposing just a Bit more of what exactly was Causing everything, and 2) keeping wolfe from doing the exact same thing for Her. an act that she knows full well she almost certainly wont come back from. and well. she didnt. and on some level, this was the intent.
which Means. if that's the angle polaris decides to go for, they Will have to deal with the fallout of "what was that why did you do that why didnt you tell me anything why would you do that why didnt you let me do anything why did you do that what is wrong with you???"
so um have fun with that one, i guess.
#accidental rose jumpscare oops. tis bound to happen..#BEFORE I GET DISTRACTED ABT MY DUMBASSES this is such a fun scenario to chew on. i did my best with what icould remember#your little bug is Fascinating and every time theres more crumbs i pick them up and RUN. ihope thiswas. coherent at least a little. ok yay#piktalk#pikocs#SO. THE THING IS#THIS has been the running Issue between wolfe and rose. the ENTIRE time ive been talking about them.#but i can barely detail much of it bc so much is so undefined except for the critical character intention behind the actions.#rose inherently believes she can fix things on her own; but she Also believes that she is inherently-#-for lack of better terms; a Burden. she truly believes she is not a good person! and that simply being close to her-#-in any meaningful sense; is dangerous to whoever does it. she has no real reason to care about most people; but wolfe is different.#wolfe influences Her just as much as the other way around. and; ultimately; rose uses that trust to double down on her self image.#she wants to prove shes Capable; yes; but she also wants to hide her own imperfections under the guise of 'kindness.'#so she ends on an image that she Wants to be seen as; and doesnt give them the chance to prove her wrong.#she doesnt want anyone to See her. they dont deserve it. (they dont mean anything to her.)#she doesnt want wolfe to See her. she doesnt deserve it. (wolfe is better off without actually Knowing her.)#and it defines so much of why wolfe starts acting the way she does. not because she Believed what rose presented of herself-#-but because she never got the chance to ask for herself. because she trusted so blindly; she didnt have the chance to stop her.#the corsage was never a sweet memento from someone she'd lost; a 'remember me as i was; at my best';#but a reminder that even despite everything; she still hid so much of herself that its hard to know if she ever knew her at all.#there are So many small notes and annotations in just that one fucking act its Impossible. theyre Impossible.#roses decision was a firm You Have To Keep Living. You Have To Live. but what does that mean; coming from you?#it was meant to keep her alive. and it did; all things considered; but. but.#. so thats why this took so fucking long to answer JSHBFJSHBJFD#you miss her so much. what the fuck is her problem. why did she do that. you would do the same thing in a heartbeat. why did she do th#these two are the Epitome of Never Tells Me Anything Ever and Has To Make Everything As Convoluted As Possible. yip ^_^#ihope this was. comprehensible. beclaws my words started failing on me halfway thru. WAHA ^w^
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tomodachi life really went off with those bonzi buddy ass voices. win xp type text to speech. all character creation focused games should have this.
#ive been playing it recently! i played a tiny bit a long time ago but i was busy at the time so it wasnt much#but i found that gender removal mod and set it up and it makes it so so so much more enjoyable#of course it cant give us gay marriage because of the way the game works#BUT it makes having to make one a different gender a bit less misgendery which is nice#which is nice cause i made my lookalike type a (male in original text) so i could wear more masc clothes and also not get pregnant#my tiny clone is allowed to get OTHER people pregnant thats okay. but if it got pregnant i would blow the whole island up#also im making various ocs and siren always wears dresses so i made him b (female in original text) so he could <3#if you have specific pairings of characters you want to happen you'll have to do more planning around the 'genders'#but tbh im just letting whatever happens among my ocs happen regardless of their canon relationships. this is a terrarium to me#i'll probably make mickey type a just in case i dooo wanna pair her with su or another woman#i think i'll have fun seeing what kinda crackships of my own ocs arise...#stuff like that. god i need living the dream. i need it on switch1 because im not getting 2 until like i dunno#5 years into its life cycle at least. i waited like 4 years for the original switch i can wait as long as i need LOL#i hope its crossgen. im sure it'll be... it has to be.......... i also hope they keep the weirdness and unpredictability of the originals#this is what i want from my character sims. i want the characters to do shit on their own and i want to watch. i want to see my BUGS#i want to see my BUGS in my TERRARIUM. pretty please <3#its so cute. i made lia and she likes rolling around in her apartment all day. you go girl!!!#my lookalike fought siren tho. mean to him.
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i hate that finding a good job this day always requires networking. what about us antisocial bitches that say more words to an npc than to a human in a day. i really should be able to get a decent job with skills alone, not through someone i happen to know, because i don’t know that many people.
#also how jobs post listings they already have an internal candidate for#and you apply#do a test task#and get it dismissed with a laughable excuse of ‘grammar mistakes’#(totally didnt happen to me and totally not bitter about it wdym)#job search now is just. hellish. ive searched three months and all i got is an unpaid internship that evolved into a job with less#than livable wage#like its not livable even in cheaper regions of the country let alone the capital where i currently live#together with my bf we make what one of us should ideally make to survive on our own#ah and i also get a laughably tiny stipend from my university#its really Laughably tiny#so tired of corporations not valuing people’s labor what it really costs#like i should be able to afford at least groceries and one room apartment on my salary and maybe something to save for clothes and all#instead all my salary goes on food. for me and my bf and for my lunches at work#thats all i can pay for with my money#this just. makes me so miserable#sorry for whining#arnold’s laments
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21. Friends hear through hotel walls? (Arabia and Ivy) for the WIP Ask Game !!!!!!!!!
Send me an ask from my WIP List and I'll post a little snippet or tell you something about it!
Ack sorry in advance this one is... Not Fun??? *hides under my desk* idk where this idea came from but I ended up writing it as a way to feel more comfortable writing Arabia/Ivy (there's nothing quite like putting character's in a crisis to get to know them better I guess??). Anyways, idk if I'm gonna post this one because everyone will banish me to angst jail and attack me with hammers and mean comments haha. But uh, here you go?? Enjoy???? (abuse tw)
Arabella curls up into a ball with her back against the headboard, trying to make herself as small as possible, trying to get away from the awful sounds coming from the next room, now entirely unmistakable as Satine’s boyfriend hitting her while she begs for him to stop. “You’re okay, Bella,” Ivy murmurs, momentarily covering the receiver with one hand while she rubs Arabella’s leg with the other. “They’re on the way. They’ll be here in a few minutes. It’s going to be okay.” Arabella shakes her head; she can’t seem to stop trembling, but it feels like it’s happening to someone else. Something glass shatters next door and Satine sobs and Arabella thinks she’s going to be sick right here on the mattress. Nothing about this is okay. She wants to lean closer to her girlfriend but she can’t seem to make herself move; besides, everything inside her is screaming at her to get away from everyone. Arabella covers her ears and squeezes her eyes shut tight, trying to block out the sound of her friend’s suffering, feeling guilty all the while that she has this option. There’s another loud thump from next door and Satine’s voice cuts off mid-scream. Ivy drops the receiver, her hand stilling on Arabella’s knee. For a moment neither of them moves or even dares to breathe, both imagining the worst. It turns out there is a more horrible noise than her friend’s cries for help, and that’s them going abruptly, horrifically, bone-chillingly silent.
#the few good things to come out of this are i think im getting more comfortable with writing them??#idk i feel like if you can write them experiencing their worst. their best comes easily??#Character Study. or something#am i any good at capturing arabia's voice??? UNKNOWN. but i sure am. trying my best. im doing Something idk#or her inner monologue at least since she shuts down and doesnt speak in this snippet#i also have decided that ivy calls arabella 'bella' and i think that is Very Cute#does that make up for the angst???? (probably not)#like everything else ive posted today this is. entirely unedited#sorry if you thought this was gonna be FUN and instead you got gifted THE HORRORS#i guess what happened here is we talked about how arabia hates loud noises and shuts down when people yell#and likely has her own history of mistreatment and/or abuse#and i was thinking about the dynamics of arabia who has escaped her abuser x satine who hasnt yet and how that would play out#also what would happen if arabia witnessed it but she couldnt get to satine in order to help?#abuse tw#thank you for the ask!!#im sorry? or youre welcome?? idk at this point.....#pls dont hate me#my fic
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are you doing artfight this year???
ive not ever participated, always forget about it until its here, dont have any refs for my ocs, and won't be participating this year either ^_^
#unfortunately comms are my sole income and i have many to do and keep doing#as ive got stuff happening at the end of this year#but in general idk that i would enjoy it‚ I'd feel very pressured. it makes me nervous#id want to just draw (attack?) whoever i felt like instead of feeling like i owe others art for drawing My ocs#i dont want anyone mad at me lol#grodygecko#skunk mail#oh i meant like comms are my only income and the rest of my time is For Me i dont think i could handle it being#owed art the entire time art fight goes on ykwim#maybe one day if someone reminds me several months in advance and i can finally focus on making refs for my 3 ocs#either way id much rather go make fanart for random people on deviantart again#and also i need to make moneyyy
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wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years
#i cant focus on anything rn but the stuff i wanna make and its turning my brain into mush#the weird brainfucked fear that if i dont get these things started Soon ill forget it#my memory is so fucking borked man and my brain runs too fucking fast to hold on to anything#i make so much that i went and made my own hell lol#the two jobs thing i think is probably the crux rn cause ive got even less time than i used to and my time blindness gives me troubles#ill get adjusted to it#sometimes with all my fucked up processing issues makes me feel like im kind of stuck in a weird bubble#like i have no idea whats happening or whos around me or what people are saying and i just have to stumble through it yknow#shouldve been born as a tiktokers pet snail#not tryna be complainy or in a bad mood or nuffin im fine i literally just want to be making stuff rn#even though works like a big Thing its also been understimulating the past week because theres nothing to do i just gotta Be Here#i need to be put under pressure i need squeezed i need smushed and i aint getting that#if i ever make something for u plz hound me about it#so i can explain in excruciating detail what step im on and how im doing it and what still needs done and how ill do THAT#i should make tutorials#i feel like im way too stream of consciousness to make anything actually helpful#idk i want a toast chee
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I long to own a house someday so that I don't have to listen to my goddamn upstairs neighbors banging around and chatting up a storm at all hours of the day
#speculation nation#ive lived in apartments for all of the past 8 and a half years. but it still annoys me.#i wouldnt have to deal with an upstairs neighbor flooding my kitchen with toilet water if i lived in a house now would i#houses have their own struggles but god fucking damn i wanna have my own space. for Real.#in time... eventually... just a few more years maybe...#gotta see where i end up... get a good job thatll give me money and ability to get a mortgage...#ive got a good credit score already... just gotta get to the point where i can settle down like that...#daydreaming of owning a house and keeping a garden... maybe even owning a sun room.... maybe......#looks at that houses blog on the regular to indulge my daydreams. at least a little bit.#cant look at house listings myself though or else i will get way too into it and then make myself sick with longing. as happened before.#someday... someday i wont have to deal with people i dont even know stomping around above my head... someday.....
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