#ive got it out of my system im good im good
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ok ships for the ship bingo. you don't have to do all of these. sho x hanekoma, sho x coco, sho x beat (in neo obvs), sho x joshua (spicy), sho x nagi, sho x neku (also in neo obvs), sho x konishi, sho x megumi. + whichever other sho ships exist idfk. all characters 18+ in this question
Anon. I am so sorry to tell you that I am physically incapable of shipping Sho with anybody. Ever.
It's just a personal thing! Sho's one of my favourite characters ever and I project my aroaceness onto him HARD so shippy stuff with him is kind of a squick for me. This isn't to say that I think ships with him are BAD or anything they're just not my cup of tea!
That said! Sho and Neku are actually one of my absolute favourite dynamics in the series so I'm gonna do a platonic version of the bingo for them!
The fact that Neku's willing to give Sho a chance after everything he's done, choosing to believe that for all of his failures he is genuinely trying to be better is just so *chefs kiss* It shows how much both of them have grown since the first game. Not only has Neku become someone who can forgive Sho, but Sho's become someone who is worthy of forgiveness. I know neo gave up on the concept of them becoming partners in a new game, but I still love the idea of them being forced into Shinjuku and having to learn to work with and rely on each other as the city comes crashing down around them. I think them having some shared history where Neku actually saw Sho make a decision to change would be way more interesting than what we get in neo, which seems to be that Neku can just. Scan souls? Or something? Boring! Give me Neku and Sho enemies to friends arc or give me death
#also not to be a little hater but this why i dont get sho-beat (please dont show up in the main tag please dont show up in the main tag ple)#why on earth is BEAT the main choice for an enemies to lovers sho ship???? when Neku is RIGHT THERE#HES HAD ACTUAL SUBSTANTIAL INTERACTIONS WITH HIM. HE THOUGHT SHO K I L L E D HIM.#he thought sho killed joshua!! it was PERSONAL it was ON-SIGHT#sho kicked beats ass once and he held a grudge about it for three years (im being dramatic here btw)#CANNOT bring myself to care about beats feelings towards sho when he wasnt even around for the bulk of his bullshit#neku's been in the trenches since day ONE alright#if anyone should hate sho its neku. but he doesnt! he sticks up for him when no one else will!!#idk i guess i just dont get how someone can play that part of the game and come out focusing on the sho-beat dynamic#not the infinitely more interesting sho and neku dynamic#not romantically!! just like in general!#if you ship them I am so so sorry i promise i will not talk about disliking them again#ive got it out of my system im good im good#also joshua (spicy)#just thinking about that phrase#asks
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favourite bang chan fancams 2 / ∞ [ 210828 music core - thunderous ⋆ ]
#stray kids#skz#staydaily#staysource#bystay#channiesnet#3rachasource#bang chan#bangchan#:mine#s:favchancams#sayang#t:fancam#t:gif#tw flashing#im so normal about this#i avoid watching the thunderous mv cause hes too dangerous but welp#also this choreo is just so................................. good#first time trying out vapoursynth for this set!! hope its ok??#ive also been struggling w the tagging system cuz its been ages since i was last active on tumblr. pls forgive me im a boomer#but i think i got it?? they cant stop me from yapping in here tho thats for sure#anyway back to work goodbye.. this has been in my drafts too long im starting to hate it
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Part 1: Mad King's War
Prologue: Diverged History(pages 1-4)
#myart#fanart#fire emblem#Fire Emblem Wrong Bird au#naesala#chrom#fe lissa#tellius#fire emblem awakening#yall can finally understand why thats the au title#at least partially#but anyways#uh no schedule to when new pages or chapters or whatever gets posted#they get posted when i complete a batch#thankfully i got a good bit of dialogue written down in a doc so dont have to struggle to figure that out after ive drawn stuff#side note you would not believe how much i kept debating myself on whether this guy would even say thank you or how he would say it-#-i just gave up and said yes so i could move on#rambling aside im still happy i managed to finish this batch#its only the beginning but hey im closer then i was before#also yes there are several parts to this sorta like fe10#its a cool system so i yoinked it#bit late but:#FE WB au MKW prologue#FE WB au MKW#<- trying to have some tags for consistency sake#we'll see if it sticks or not#anyways i think thats enough rambling for today on my end
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with the obvious addendum that act 3 isn’t out yet and we can’t form true opinions until the show’s officially done, i’m still really feeling like it could have maybe benefited from a third season. they’re hitting all the right plot points and those moments are full of really intense emotion, but everything in the middle feels so underwhelming in comparison and so much of it still feels rushed to me. idk
#arcane#arcane spoilers#i could kinda deal with it act 1 bc there was a lot to cover through the fallout after s1. but act 2 i'm reallyyyyyy feeling it#like dont get me wrong it's still so so so good#and i guess that's what makes it so much more frustrating#like you can see all the ways it can be just that littlest bit even better#but i guess if the biggest complaint viewers have about your show is that they want more then that already says a lot you know#anyway#it's the warwick / isha plot that bugs me specifically bc isha (love her to death) feels lowkey like a cop out#introduce a kid just to heavy push the 'cycle of violence' 'find your humanity again' character arcs only to kill her six episodes later#like EVERYONE was saying 'ive never seen a character so obviously created to die'#the subversive thing would be to have her live and show the cycle of violence is ending or something#but here's another broken kid killed by the system here's more proof that jinx is. well. a jinx.#idk idk idk#and warwick. i wanted so much MORE#heavily build up warwick all through act 1 just to have him die end of act 2#we barely got to see him at full power.#we barely got to see him with vi and jinx.#we barely got to see him reckon with the man he was and the monster he is now.#we got next to nothing before he's just dead. again#and again those scenes hit SO GODDAMN HARD. THEY ARE GOOD. but they couldve hit even harder if they just had more time to flesh it out !!!!#but again again no act 3 yet so who goddamn knows at this point#they aint dead til we see the bodies and even then they might not be dead bc thats just how arcane works#but fuck i just wish we sometimes had time to sit and FEEL things before the next new thing starts#ok im done rambling i just had to say something somehwere because its driving me insane#my posts
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lol. i think ive reached my limit.
#i just cannot take this torture anymore#ive been at the mercy of this horrible disease for over half my life now#imagine living knowing that roughly every 3.5 weeks youre going to experience the most excruciating pain of your life#along with crushing. usually suicidal depression. and such extreme fatigue and exhaustion that you easily sleep for 14+ hours a DAY#AND ITS ALL FOR FUCKING *NOTHING*#there is literally ZERO benefit or reason for me to be experiencing this#it is 100% extraneous#and even if you go to a dr and try to get treatment their only recommendation is 1) pain killers and/or 2) birth control#which both come with their own fucking share of unpleasant side effects#not to mention theyre not even 100% effective at stopping the problem in the first FUCKING place#and imagine even tho you have this DEBILITATING DISORDER society at large has decided it straight up DOESNT EXIST#to the point where REAL ACTUAL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS will dismiss your symptoms#not to mention people in your life who dont understand or just straight up dont believe your disorder is real#good luck keeping a job or any other major commitments#considering you'll either be out of commission for like. 1 out of ever 4 weeks#or youll have to work/whatever WHILE experiencing said excruciating pain/crushing depression/debilitating exhaustion#not to mention the GI issues and the migraines and the brain fog and the fucking. full body aches#wanna go to a concert? or plan a vacation? or just. fucking. RELAX? you better hope its not during Hell Week or youre outta luck#and youve got roughly 30-40 YEARS of this to look forward to#maybe less IF YOURE LUCKY#im fucking over it#i cant take it anymore#im making an appt to see a dr and i WILL NOT LEAVE THEIR OFFICE until they have referred me to whoever i have to talk to to make this stop#my fucking fury at having to live like this has officially outweighed my fear of invasive procedures/recovery time/side effects#let along the torture that is navigating the medical care system as an AFAB#i just. i cant do this anymore.#i want to fucking LIVE#fuck
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okay enough complaining abt other people! back to our scheduled vibing
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.
#today is an absolutely wretched pain day that makes me want to not be here anymore but guess what!#wasted a whole year trying to convince my doctors I was in significant and disableing pain daily and the best they could do#is tell me to go to PT and to wait 6 months and tell them if it gets better#to prescribe some shit like gabapentin or otc pain meds and write me off#tell me they'll get new X-rays to see if it got worse by the summer#disability exists!! specialists exist! good doctors fucking exist!! somewhere!!! I'm sure!!#but here I sit. in excruciating amounts of pain unable to convince any fucking doctors of anything#and that year I spent pushing myself to the limit is wasted bc at the very end of it all only one guy listened to me#and he said no one in their giant ass facility could diagnose me#so I'm back to square one bc I got a new job which means new insurance and new doctors to try and convince again#I just want to be on disability so i can want to be alive again#I'm so frustrated and in pain constantly#what are people like me who have to work 40hrs to afford to live but don't have any family to rely on supposed to do??#just die? am i supposed to continue to work until im too disabled to move and be profitable unless i get lucky?#bc some fucking doctor finally decides to actually listen???#ive tried ALL THE DAMN TRICKS TOO. telling them a friend has it and thats how i found out. that my previous doctor was looking into it#etc etc#I'm SO done living like this i am exhausted.#and to know that i COULD BE HELPED. RIGHT NOW. is the worst fucking part#these systems are in place so people like me dont have to fucking suffer.#but i cant even do anything about it bc i have a cat.
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#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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#another rant lmao#anyways just seriously thinking about how every single time i have voted ive done it tactically instead of just voting for who i prefer#luckily my mp is decent. not perfect. but pretty good#like theres little i could say i disagree with them#anyways point is i always got kind of frustrated with people#why would you split the vote? this is how the tories continuously get into power#but tbh regardless. maybe there is no Right way to go about this#and maybe you shouldnt just vote in hopes of keeping the tories out#even if youre voting for a party thats gonna lose#maybe thats better than giving a vote to someone whos a dickhead#i think looking at americans has kind of helped me come to this conclusion#because look whata happened#they did it. they got the democrats in. but did it matter? why the fuck play into a system thats not for you#idk im not too well read on politics etc i am but a girl#le text post
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the way my heart sank . lol
#tried to get on a call to study w my gf bc weve both been avoiding stuff we Have to do and its been making us anxious#but esp her bc shes been in this cycle for a while and shes struggling w it a lot . and i love her and i want the best for her#and all my friends r like u should push each other to do better even if its uncomfortable somewhat and i agree#so we were like. yh lets do stuff / get on our work tmrw even tho its anxiety-inducing etc...and then we got on a call#and this is the most like. bored/displeased ive ever heard her sound like she seemed extremely disinterested and even mildly irritated#and it honestly shocked me ??? so i ended the call bc i need to do work and it was making me sad#and im trying to listen to words more than tone but it was so extreme and such a sudden change that it literally wasnt good for me . im so#confused rn . like ik facing tasks youve been avoiding for months causes anxiety ik theres like a mental block around it that makes u not#want to deal w it or become irritated at ppl who suggest that you should#but omg?? it was so weird and like. when i said she was making me sad so i wanted to end the call she was like. ok 😐#which is a fair response ig but shes never responded to me that way b4...like what is this what is happening...#i want smn who encourages me to move forward and who appreciated that i want them to do the same#instead of staying stagnant and anxious for months. i talked abt this before on here and everyone collectively was like Be More Patient and#work through it w her etc etc (my friends said the exact opposite tho) and i have been Trying To but its making me feel actively . bad.#like. im Afraid.#to bring it up . and then when i finally did say yh lets do smth lets get thru this tgth she just shut down on me somehow#idk what else i can do#i will talk to her abt it later i just need to work rn. i had to get this out of my system first.#shes so sweet and wonderful and supportive usually. but when it comes to thsi topic. im rly shocked idk#i knew she felt bad abt it but i thought she agreed to move through it w me and i didnt expect her to direct it at me#like whatever i said shed give me the coldest ok 😐. like. again nothing inherently wrong w that but when contrasted w#the way she talks to me usually there IS smth wrong it . its jarring and uncomfortable and made me rly upset bc it felt like she was mad at#me for trying to help . idk#UGH whatever ill talk 2 her later i have to do this lecture itll help distract me
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now heres the thing is my rule is i have to live on my own for a year before im allowed to get a pet but also consider what if i had a little friend .
#in my heart i want a wawa so badly it hurts but alsoooo i worry quite a bit bc like. i work full time... so el wawa would be at home alone a#lot and one thing about the beautiful adorable majestic chihuahua is they have to pee every 3-4 hours. so i would have to have some way to#let them out OR keep them outside while im at work but another thing is 1. apartments dont generally have backyards#2. chihuahuas get cold very easily .... i could do some ssort of doggy daycare but i fear that would be expensive .... and i hate pee pads#and would prefer not 2 use them so i dont rly have much optionn 😭 but i want a chihuahua so badly.#but ALSO. a kitty cat.... i love cats i think theyre really quite sweetsies and also i think they could handle living in an apartment bette#esp since famously cats use the bathroom indoors. u may know.#so... i could potentially get a kitty..... but also i dont want to get one until im absolutely positive i could take good care of it and i#feel like i could esp now that ive got a system that works so well 4 motivating me to do my daily tasks yk. and also i think if i had my ow#apartment id feel a lot safer just like. being up and around the apartment so thatd be good... but also pets r expensive. but also the apt#i just applied to is rly quite cheap (like 1050 a month) its income restricted but i qualify by like a lot LMAO... n this would be perfect#bc 1050 is likee. not even a full paycheck i could pay rent with 1 paycheck and still have like 150 left over and then my other paycheck fo#the month is fully mine... so i could save up lots#+ wsg is included in the rent whichhh is insane. adn the apartment is cute and Trust . alarm bells were going off a bit bc i was like maybe#this is too good to be true we all remember the 800$ scam incident. but its a verified listing and i checked the propertymanagers and theyr#legit... its even got a washer and dryer IN UNIT and also a fitness center which is good bc i wanna try n start doing more cardio...#IT EVEN HAS A FIREPLACE i dont particularly need a fireplace but its cool 2 have one i could make smores right in my very own living room#AND ITS NOT A STUDIO its a 1 br...#grahhh i rly rly rly want ittt ik i prolly wont get it but :[
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*talking about a character i used to be really obsessed with*
*two minutes later hear "...hi i'm miles"*
*thinking 'oh no just my silly imagination again ha ha ha ha'*
*"no this one is very real i can assure you"*
*screams*
#BEING A SYSTEM IS SO FUNNNNNNN /hsar#i love my headmates#but holy shit#why are there so many#i mean youve got the fab four the fag hags the plant moms the og crew and then...this guy#he's nice or so im being told#anyways ive been stuck in front (sometimes co-con) for over a week now#let me tf out.#good things are happening and i dont want anyone to miss them but i dont want to miss them either.#im exhausted.
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my cousins who have money and privilege to be moving back and forth between the US and Mexico treat living in the US like a study abroad program that they can just pick up whenever they want and go back home to tell stories about it im sorry i have to say it they dont have good reason to be doing that when they have kids to raise 😭 youve set up the foundation for a terrible childhood by moving them back and forth and having them live with different people all the time like part of the year they live with their grandma and then with their dad and then with their mom you are fucking up those kids' mental stability 😭😭😭😭
#praying they stay outta my house for good this time 🙏🏼#ive drafted so many posts about them but alas i have to say it like actually#their baby daddies dont want their kids in the US anymore cause they cant see their kids often easily#and i think it's been an issue the whole time#but they realllly wanted to live out their 20s in the US fantasy#sorry girls... shoulda considered the responsibilities that come with having a kid#they are pro-lifers that chose giving birth and genuinely love their kids but they cant have both fun 20s abroad and motherhood#i also think their pro-life stance is only cause their kids were accidents and think everyone else should suffer the same fate lol#it is especially only easy for them to be pro-life when they have such a great support system in both their own and baby daddies' families#neither of my 2 cousins got married or were forced to marry as a result of their pregnancies but they are still close to the fathers#anyways the younger 2 cousins are alright and also treated this like study abroad#but one of them realized she likes mexico more a long time ago and is only sticking around to support the younger one#the youngest is annoying but shes a teenager and i hope she decides college here isnt worth it when she finally graduates#its less annoying around here now that the eldest have left with their kids#those kids would scream all the time and also get into fights with the teenager somehow#dunno if i complained about them here before but if i have im sorry#im done i hope they leave me and my house alone for forever after june 2024
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oh my god am i so fucking tired
#work ended two hours ago but still just so so tired#to be fair it was my first shift back in two weeks after that GODFORSAKEN cold#tales from diana#i was very anxious to do this last night. i had a hard time falling asleep#didnt get as much sleep as i wanted but i still did sleep#i had a half-day kindergarten job originally but when i got there they switched me to full day fifth grade#and it sure was a full day of fifth grade#theyre doing this thing right now in the fifth grade where they switch classes and go to the different teachers#to prepare for middle school. i get it i get it it's a good system#but i did have to teach a one-hour writing class three times to like sixty kids in total#it's a lot. AND i had to do a lunch duty god forbid#tomorrow im subbing full-day for a different kindergarten teacher and since im goin there i doubt theyll send me anywhere else#unless i guess someone else abruptly calls out sick but like. uhhh i just wanna do this k class ive been w them like 4 times this month#theyre easy i know these kids they dont scare me#and in early childhood ed theres always like at least a para or two#in the older grades im lucky if theres one para but today there were none#all day. goooood im tired
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Sorry it's not even that funny but I am losing it over the way she shuts down Paris and then .5 seconds later Harry makes the same comment and she's all 🥰🥰 you're optimism is infectious Mr. Kim 🥰🥰
#yaaaaa im crawling back to voyager now that i got my farscape rewatch out of my system and im#ready to move on from the terror#its very good sorry i really like it hahaha#i liked it right off the bat which i wasnt expecting because ive heard everyone bitch about how awful the first few seasons are#its very charming?? and funny!! and i really like all the characters#CERTAINLY its not worse than the early seasons of tng#voyager liveblog#<- 👀👀👀 nevrr had a liveblog tag before maybe ill keep it up though#star trek voyager#video
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