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sixthwater · 1 year ago

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Back with another yearly review! This time it's just seeing how the beginning of your year went vs where you are now. This is mainly for those who aren't sure if they've made any progress, or to see what lessons you've learned. Maybe to check what the theme of this year was? Either way, it's difficult to see where your tracks begin and end when you're the one walking the path, right?

Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)

Decks Used: Archetype Cards, Animal Spirits, Rider Waite, Sacred Creators Oracle, Fairies Oracle Deck

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Pile One

Beginning of Year

Cards: Virgin, Zebra, IV of Swords Rx, Shift, Sacred Treasure

Very straight-forward! In the beginning of the year there was a lot of external energy present; you had a new beginning or you were very open to a lot of new experiences. I’m not getting a change in mindset because this feels more action oriented, but it’s like being very excited and rejuvenated to try new things and get back into a groove after a period of rest. Before this you might have been questioning a path or why you were doing certain things, because some cards are asking you to keep reminders of your goals or your inner child with you if you start to doubt yourself again. Also Virgin speaks to someone who keeps their innocence with them regardless of what happens, as well as a new beginning. Overall, I see you being very excited and somewhat giddy about the new opportunities around you and I keep hearing ‘getting back into it’, so a return to the external world basically! For some it could’ve been an external block but I also sense just trying out new activities and experiences (food, cultures, friends, etc).

End of Year

Cards: Queen Rx, Fox, VIII of Cups Rx, Spark of Hustle, Divine Hustle

I figured something like this would happen. I wanted to pull up a playlist of a group I can’t fully listen to on spotify, and their discography is going backwards in this video. This is what your energy feels like somewhat. I also want to note that your first pile was very earthy and there were a lot of blue-greens, meanwhile this pile is red-yellow, but feels stiff and cold. Right now it feels like that energetic and passionate energy has turned into a survivalist one. It reminds me of an earth mindset where money and finances are the driving point — which in these times I’m not too surprised. Instead of passion being a driving force, it’s about what can keep you stable and what gets people interested instead of what you enjoy doing. There’s still external activity, but it’s like clocking in/out of a job. This can also extend a bit to relationships. For some, molding parts of your personality so they enjoy your company. The other group needs to reach out and spend time with loved ones and also listen to their advice/opinion if you vent to them about your stress regarding the first portion of this reading. A piece of you is testing out things, understanding they don’t work, and trying something else out but you’re not actually processing the lesson. It’s just go go go. You need to take care of yourself as much as you can and get back in touch with things like spa days. There’s a difference between reaching deadlines and pumping out content; so which one are you doing? Come to that understanding and make sure you rest your body appropriately. Also someone needs to hear this because it keeps popping up: you are not using all the skills that you have, but are still holding onto the possibility that it’ll work out. If you work at it, there’s a higher chance it’ll work out, but simply dabbling in it won’t give you the results you’re seeking. Don’t obsess over the results if it is a hobby (they should make you happy), but if you want it to work out, you have to try harder.

Pile Two

Beginning of Year

Cards: Priest Rx (Light Attributes), Unicorn, VIII of Pentacles, Divine Masculine, Joke’s on You

You are new here or you discovered a new system. I also Never take the empty cards from the Archetype deck but it wanted to come out, so I don’t believe you did anything I’m about to explain with ill intent. It could lean to just friendships for some but it’s definitely spiritual for most of you.

There’s a feeling of superiority here. Equating it to material goods, let’s say someone got into an AP class or has a higher degree. A few percentage of them will subconsciously have a tendency to exhibit some classism (ex; this person didn’t go to college therefore they aren’t as smart as me). So specifically, it can feel like the usual case of finding this new world and realizing that some people just ‘don’t get it’. So there can be some cases of trying to explain/share this newly found knowledge but being a bit intense, or distancing from old connections in favor of those who are closer to these subjects. I see someone taking in a lot of these topics and wanting to find out as much as they can immediately which is why it feels like something is new here, because that’s usually what happens. However there’s a misleading energy so it’s like...so I wanted to have TMG on in the background for whatever reason before I pulled cards and I understand why now. Some songs are poking fun at people; usually from the pov of someone who’s a disaster talking shit about other people (ex; deadbeat, no flex, clout, etc) and that’s immediately what clicked in my mind. So it generally feels like the energy of someone at a podium shouting about the good word but they barely know it themselves? That’s the general energy I have here. As I said, for some it could be about relationships and a betrayal of some sort, possibly regarding that, but that was a flicker of a message — it’s not that strong.

End of Year

Cards: Angel, Hummingbird, Ace of Pentacles Rx, Living Poetry, Gold at the end of the rainbow

Oh this is cute! I knew it’d go this way but this is more adorable than I expected haha.There is some control on the previous energy from before. You’re still expressing yourself and communicating with others, but it’s more organized? It’s when people come to you instead of you going to them, or you post stuff online. Perhaps you have a separate account to help mitigate those urges to express all the ideas in your head! So you can still share how you feel, but it’s not gaining the previous reaction mentioned before. As I said, there was never ill intent and you do want to legitimately help people. It feels like you found solace in whatever practice it was and you just want others to be able to feel the same, thus you’re trying to find the best way to do so. The Gold card mentions that you should stay focused, as you will soon reach your goal. I don’t believe it’s monetary. I’d be shocked if you weren’t new because you have the same progress that most of us have haha. When you start off, you want to express these feelings to people, you make a lot of connections and you just say them, and sometimes people just find it annoying if it’s the wrong crowd. Eventually you will find a good balance, and usually you want to start off doing it for free and to help people because it makes you happy! That’s what I’m seeing here. There’s a sweet energy coming from this section and I can see you trying to reject people’s offers to pay you for something. I’d be a bit surprised if you weren’t active in the community somewhere (whether that’s in a discord server or actively posting).

Pile Three

Beginning of Year

Cards: Victim, Beaver, King of Cups Rx, Fearless Expression, Time to tinker

Shadow work. Definitely going through negative traits you have, and confronting any past demons that have been holding you back. Enforcing boundaries, standing up for yourself, and doing your best to try and put yourself first. I don’t see you closing yourself off or becoming more cold, but it’s more like wanting a better life. You have a future that you want, and you know the steps you need to take in order to achieve it. It’s like the order of the cards; The Star comes after The Tower — that’s what I feel like happened to you but more like internally/emotionally before you started enforcing it. There’s a possibility that a few of you might be going to therapy considering some sort of expression is here, but for a majority of you it’s just placing boundaries down for what you will and will not accept into your lives.

End of Year

Cards: Hermit, Beaver, Knight of Pentacles Rx, Bliss, Sacred Treasure

Special Note: Hermit wanted to come out from the tarot but it flipped back in

Veerrryy slowed down. Focusing on yourself, your loved ones, and what’s important to you. Self-care is super prominent here. There’s a pinch of health issues for someone (you being the care-taker?) but that’s a very specific message. The point however is that you’ve basically gone into the woods to do some rebuilding from the ground up. To find your inner child, see what’s upset them and make them happy again. You want to feel peace purely from within, and you’re trying to create healthier habits around your spiritual practice or your mindset. I can see meditation, however there is also a big piece of re-framing how you see yourself and talk to yourself. Instead of negative talk it’s being more patient and reaffirming your positive qualities. I feel very calm and it’s a beautiful energy here, so if you feel like you’re not making progress don’t be fooled, you are. There’s a lot of realigning with yourself until you can head back into the over-stimulation of what society can bring. I think it’s important to note that I wanted to watch a supernatural ghost hunting youtube channel while doing this, and they have a halloween special which is heavily edited and has clips of ‘high activity’ — I can see this connected to doing shadow work when you think about it. If the caretaker message resonated with you, I can see that this time to focus on others might make you rethink your path or what you want in life (usually seeing someone run into health issues can make you think about your own life). Ah...I think also with the current transits going on (Saturn), you might be wondering what you’re even doing here. That can explain why your energy feels so intense. Please be patient with yourself, things like this are a lifelong journey. There is a chance you could get things wrong, because it’s more rare to get things right the first time around. Take time to understand what you want to do, what gives you happiness, and go for it. Just recently Andre 3000 said that a friend had told him that it’d be over if he released ‘Hey Ya’, and that most of his friends don’t like his music. He makes things that he likes and you should follow that same mindset. Yes, outside feedback is helpful but not if it imprisons you.

Pile Four

Beginning of Year

Cards: Addict, Owl, The Moon, You are light, Showing up

Interesting...in the beginning of the year there was a lot of reflective energy going on. It’s a bit difficult to explain, but it’s similar to how sometimes we can attract those that show us what we need to work on within ourselves? You were that person for others for some time. It might have been that you were outgrowing a few people in your life as well and that’s how this is showing up. It isn’t coming off as doing work on yourself, it’s more like you’re telling others about things they need to work on for themselves. Maybe some of you are tarot readers/astrologers lol. I don’t think many remarkable things happened for the first quarter of this year for you (at least not for it to show up), but you showed up for others. As I said, people probably sought you out for advice, or you subconsciously were highlighting a lot of people’s insecurities. This can sometimes make people act out, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a little animosity during this time due to this.

End of Year

Cards: Destroyer, Panther, The Lovers Rx, Fierce Serenity, Wayward Paths

Ah, the relationships probably started gaining traction during the middle of the year? Your energy still seems peaceful? Usually with these cards it seems a bit thrown off or frustrated but I’m getting the image of someone dusting or cleaning. You’re just simply sorting out what should or should not be in your life. The main theme is relationships, but I think it causes you to sometimes think about jobs, hobbies — what your energy is going towards. Is it worth your attention and love. You give off fixed sign energy. You have an idea of what you don’t want in your life. I don’t think you’re set on what you allow in, but once people/things cross boundaries then they have to go. You have a set of standards and right now you’re doing a spring cleaning of sorts. As I said, I don’t see it as being aggressive — I don’t see any door slamming. It’s just like...distancing? Or prioritizing different people and things that give you more happiness. I think in the beginning there was a bit of confusion or you were giving some extra chances but you realized it was throwing you off kilter which you didn’t appreciate. You’ll be entering a ‘new’ stage of your life come next spring? At the latest.

Ahaaaa, looking back at both of these piles, there was a high chance you were pulling in a lot of relationships to teach you lessons. Let’s say you had 3 friends back to back and they had varying ways of abusing your kindness. That was happening until you realized something needed to change and that’s where you are now. That’s where the subtly and slight animosity was coming from.

#pick a card #pick a card reading #tarot reading #tarot readings #pac #pick a pile #tarotblr #mysticalcreations

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leolingo · 1 year ago

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(long post about purgatory and meta and rp)

sigh one thing ive been thinking is that it feels a bit unfair to see so many people complaining or doomposting over how purgatory affects the overarching qsmp rp story or how it ~interrupted arcs~ or is ~disturbing current storylines~ or ~narratively unsatisfying~ like. Sure. its a bit abrupt and most players were caught off guard because lore-wise it stems from the federation which means none of them were told about anything beforehand

but... its only been three days. maybe we could have a little faith? like idk ill be soooooo out there rn and say that maybe the admins did this now for a reason. maybe itll make sense later on. we already see lore repercussions with elquackity and his motives and all the nods to the eggs.

theres fair criticism to be made (when done respectfully) if youre mainly here for the roleplay but i feel like we sometimes need to remind ourselves that the qsmp storytelling is a VERY ambitious project. lmao. imagine being the writing team and trying to wrangle 20+ characters with distinct points of view and journeys on an ever-changing story because of the very nature of live rp. its practically IMPOSSIBLE to tie up every loose end neatly and at this point i dont think we should expect that. keeping up momentum with all plotlines must also be pretty hard, cc's schedules and outside factors like server programming and building and mod tweaking and all those meta elements considered and so on and so on

i DO also want the story to move forward and be cohesive and make sense in a satisfactory way. like i really do!!!!!!! but i try to understand that thats not ALL the qsmp is about. from the start quackity said the server wouldn't be exclusive to the rp aspect. it sure is that way right now, but thats because most of the active members are VERY passionate about roleplaying. thats a good thing! they have fun and its fun to watch and the experience is mostly good for everyone because it corresponds to their expectations to an extent

the thing about purgatory is that i feel like its a lot more meta than most people doomposting realize. it ties into the story, sure, but to me it feels like the sudden switch in environment and vibes and stakes isnt actually catered to the rp and thats FINE. like thats not what it exists for and thats fineeeeeee

pac for one has said he appreciates the event for the change of pace, though its very hard (lol), because regular qsmp was starting to feel a bit stale to him and he was kind of running out of things to do. THATS A GREAT THING! managing player engagement like that is awesome and sometimes necessary. YES, purgatory caters to a very different playstyle than what we're used to -- and thats one of its strenghts.

a lot of hispanic creators have also felt this!!!! roier, rivers and carre most prominently have been VERY excited about this event because its similar in format to a lot of spanish speaking events like mc extremo and such. a lot of these players are also not particularly interested in rp-ing and had not been logging on very often prior to purgatory.

even roleplay regulars like tubbo, fit and bbh have shown interest in purgatory for the competitive nature of the setting!!! thats cool too!!!! something different, new possibilities to play around with. thats what the events should be about. kudos to the admins and dev teams for attempting it in such a big scale. their effort shows and all the mechanics weve seen are really fucking cool

i love the roleplay!!!!!! its one of my favorite parts of the qsmp!!!!!! but its not ALL there is and it shouldnt be! non rp-oriented creators are also part of the project and deserve to have a little fun too -- not to mention a big chunk of the hispanic fan community that has blown up twitter with support bc what we have rn is similar to events they already love!!!!!!! im glad to see so many of them get excited again!!!!!!

at the end of the day, qsmp is a LONG long term project, and purgatory ends in two weeks. by the time its over, we can all choose to engage with it as we wish. it can be a big filler episode in your mind, if you want. it can be just for fun..... otherwise, if its not fun, your regularly scheduled qsmp will be back soon anyway :3 its fine to not like it, its fine to have something negative to say about it if properly tagged and not like. crazy entitled or blown out of proportion for what this situation is.

i just hope we can all manage our online experiences accordingly and avoid making things less enjoyable for each other. this is supposed to be fun

#rant kind of #i hate hate hate doomposting it drains me #lets not assume the worst!!!!!! lets wait and see!!!!!!! theres so much time!!!!!!! how about that #qsmp #discourse

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yonpote · 10 months ago

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another thing is like... under capitalism, business success and wealth begin to alienate you from others who don't have that. and that alienation can feed into greed, like why not keep investing and making business deals and buying expensive stuff? and no one around is really going to call you out because they are either capitalist hacks or maybe people who once struggled who now rely on you.

so like, I don't inherently expect much from creators like dnp who come into money. even though they probably have more financial freedom than many other creators because of all the tours, books, games, etc (because they are good at business!)

so like, as their fans who ultimately are their consumers, I think it's good to call them out, especially because they have shown before that they have good intentions.

am I expecting much from them? no. wealth can be corrupting and speaking out comes with risk to business/career interests. but they have a special relationship with their audience, as we're mostly all fellow queer and neurodivergent people with similar interests. so we can provide feedback and be the ones to try to ground them and be like "hey that wasn't cool please do better." stopping engagement with them and their content entirely doesn't really do anything to help, unless they did something they needed to absolutely be deplatformed for. stopping engagement is a valid personal choice, but when I see stuff that begins to resemble like 'they aren't being activists right now time for everyone to unstan' I'm like... if that makes you feel better, fine, but I would rather parasocially / affectionately be like "hey I expect more from you!" in a way that is constructive. which is something I would want to do with my friends, but the difference is, if my friends didn't change or try to then I probably would distance myself from them. Whereas Dan and Phil are entertainers we don't now irl, we have a different relationship with them. but compared to many other creators, they really do tend to be more sensitive to their audience (which has helped their success).

but so this time the (mostly leftist) phannies calling them out actually got them to do a fundraiser so that's cool! even if it's because of the backlash like, that's what the point of backlash is! we should want people to change behavior. not to just abstractly punish them, for something they could be unlikely to do without pressure. though hopefully it will lead to less instances of having to pressure them.

idk this brings up interesting stuff about parasocial relationships, the transactions between creators and their audience, and capitalism. so of course I had to rant about it for a sec lol.

thats completely true! thank u for the rant lol but yeah i dont want to come across as being like, NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM YOUR FAV CREATORS it was more like, with dnp specifically we know where their heart is i guess so it can be unnecessary to call for whatever. BUT you're absolutely right in that they probably wouldn't have done a charity stream were it not for pressure from fans. and maybe this is ME being parasocial but i'd like to think that this isn't for damage control or performativism (i mean it is a LITTLE cuz any publicity is a little bit abt looking good) but rather like, putting their money where their mouth is basically! and showing to their core audience like hey we care about this thing too and we fully hear you.

i was thinking about this General concept wrt dnp because i think there have been other moments where dnp were called out about something or criticized for like their more offensive humor and they stopped doing that and educated themselves which is better than most creators who put up fakeass apology videos. ive seen a lot of ppl say they want dan to talk about and apologize for his racist and sexist humor (and honestly only asking dan but not bringing up that phil also had his share of racist jokes) but it's like. at this point what further could he say? he's not a 21 year old shit head anymore (and yeah good for you for being a socially aware 21 y/o in 2024 but that offensive humor literally was just the culture of that time period) and they both have SHOWN that they have grown and even talked about it in like the pinof react video where they talked about "yeah we bullied kristen stewart a lot cuz it was just popular to make fun of her and justin bieber and that really sucks that we did that" like they have changed and shown change! they do not need to make a grand apology statement cuz like if you wanna talk performativism then lets talk about the fakeness of basically every apology video on the internet????

sorry thats unrelated to what u were talking abt but it just made me start thinking BUT YEAH THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOT TAKES!!!!

#myrambles

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conanssummerchild · 4 months ago

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i finally gave in and im making some rick and morty oc's >:))

we have:

Rick Sanchez A-26M

Morty Smith L9-DD

Summer Sanchez X-1217 (she changed her surname to sanchez after escaping her dimension. maybe her jerry was abusive or something. in reality i just want her to be summer sanchez. might find a way to make morty morty sanchez too.)

Beth Smith N0T (thats a zero but it is reffered to as dimension not or the not dimension or smth)

Jerry Smith N0T

and they all live on Earth dimension N0T

backstory:

(ignore that i refer to summer as summer x-22 in the ss, i changed my mind or her dimensional code, it is x-1217)

ive never made an oc before literally ever in my life (let alone 5) but im working on the lore rn and maybe sometime this month i'll do character designs but im really busy rn. definitely by the end of summer tho

additional info:

rick has paranoia depression anxiety adhd and autism (but he refuses to go to therapy so most of these arent actually diagnosed, but im literally his creator so i know, with the exception of paranoia (due to his psycotic break he was briefly forced into citadel therapy or whatever) and depression. i dont think he knows about the anxiety/he refuses to acknowledge it and he self medicates his adhd. he knows about the autism) hes also still an alcoholic (like most ricks i think) his beth jerry and summer's whereabouts are unknown (at least until i think of smth better 😭)

morty's rick is dead but when he was alive he was lowkey kinda nice (if overly and unhealthily dependant on morty) so morty misses him dearly :( morty tried to help his rick recover from dianes death and stop him from destroying himself finding rick prime but he couldnt and he blames himself for ricks death, he has a lot of abandonment issues and maybe some ptsd too. hes a bit more prickly than your standard morty until he really gets close to someone, hes less immediately trusting. after his rick died he ran away from home to the citadel, trying to find another rick but after a few years and about 5 ricks he realised it was useless and he would never be able to really replace his rick. his family was assigned another morty after he split and they're fine. he hung around the morty town locos for a while until finding summer x-22

summer's whole family is alive still but she ran away from home due to her jerry being abusive, as i mentioned earlier. she stole ricks portal gun and portalled over to the citadel, but the portal gun was damaged and she couldnt go anywhere else. morty l9-dd found her crying behind the creepy morty and tried to steal her portal gun (bcs the morty town locos fw portal fluid) but she pinned him against a wall and told him she'd slit his throat out if he didnt help her so he agreed. they bonded after that and became pretty much inseparable.

summer confided that she hadnt had a good relationship with her morty bcs he always turned a blind eye to the abuse and excused jerry. morty told her he spent so much time trying to keep his rick from spiralling that he never formed much of a relationship with his summer

when they get to dimension N0T beth and jerry seem perfect but they soon find out that the rick of this dimension was dead of suicide or smth and that beth tried to commit to after his death maybe. beth here is also an alcoholic, like c-131 is and jerry is in charge of keeping up appearances, which is harder once you have 3 new people living in your broken home.

im not sure a lot of this still might change it needs a lot of work

defining traits (both personality and physical):

rick: more quiet, often zones out and seems like hes not even there, but still bitchy when he does talk. when they first get to N0T he barely leaves his room for 2 months and beth keeps panicking bcs shes worried he'll kill himself like her rick. even tho she doesnt know him he looks so much like her rick did (bcs theyre both ricks duh) and its just stirring back up some stuff for her. his hair is a little flatter than c-137. perhaps he has a fringe. maybe he wears a soft wool jumper. je has self harm scars but always wears long sleeves, so theyre not visible

morty: his tones a bit sharper, hes more skeptical of ppl than morty prime is. hates rick prime almost as much as a-26m does. darker yellow t shirt (like the mortys in mortytown) scars across his eye (I KNOW IM NOT ORIGINAL OK i didnt want to put the scar down his lip bcs i didnt want to assosciate him with evil rick and morty, he has nothing to do with them) maybe the scar is across his cheek idk

summer: always a bit on edge, carries a knife on her at all times. incredibly mistrusting of jerry N0T when they got there. still weary of him and doesnt let him get too close. jerry is too tired trying to keep up appearances to really do much to try and ease summers mistrust of him. black tank top instead of pink. hot pink belt on her jeans tho maybe. loose hair bcs a ponytail is too easy to grab, sharp nails, painted pink. bruises on her arms that start to fade in the beginning of her time on the citadel with morty

beth: often out of it or drunk, more so the more time rick morty and summer stay bcs she cares less and less about keeping how shitty shes doing from them. at the beginning she seems like a perfect housewife, or someone putting on a performance of one. looks pretty much the same if not a little more disheveled, in the beginning wears one of those fancy white frilly aprons with a red heart embroidered. drops the apron as she drops the act

jerry: tired, dark circles maybe (rick and morty also have these, summer and jerry wear makeup to cover them, beth and rick have eyebags also) starts wearing the apron when beth stops lol, defeated demeanour, kinda depressed a lot of the time. lonely

anyway a lot of this is probably gonna be changed idkkkk

ooh also how long it took for a bond to form between characters:

rick and morty: about 2-3 months. both desperately missed their old partners which sped it up a bit but morty was scared of getting attached and rick at the start was too out of it most days to really form any kind of connection also he was scared of getting attatched too but for different reasons (morty was scared he'd lose another rick, rick felt like everyone he got close to ended up worse off (diane, his prev morty))

rick and summer: like maybe 5 months, they didnt interact much at first, like i said rick was too out of it and summer didnt really trust rick and saw him as unstable, but as rick grew closer to morty, summer slowly became a little less suspicious and maybe rick helped her with smth and they bonded over that idk

rick and beth: their initial relationship was not healthy, beth trying desperately to prevent rick from killing himself and rick not being willing to work on himself healthily, causing beth great panic and anxiety, but after like 6 months or so they become drinking buddies, still not the healthiest father-daughter relationship but it eases beths mind and makes rick feel less alone

rick and jerry: even after like 10 months living at the smith house rick and jerry dont have much of a relationship, both are too caught up in their own exhaustion to make an effort to bond, may change at some point

morty and summer: started to form a relationship within the first week of meeting eachother, maybe 7 or so months before they encountered rick (i need to make a timeline) probably the strongest relationship of all of these listed

morty and beth: surprisingly quickly, within the first 1 or 2 months, morty misses his mum and he wants to try and help beth a bit

morty and jerry: mutual respect for eachother, morty helps jerry out around the house and with things, started like this after anytime between a few weeks and 2 months

summer and beth: 4 months, took a while but eventually they formed a bond, its easier for summer to relax around beth and beth likes having a daughter

summer and jerry: still distrust after 10 months, will likely take a long time for any kind of relationship to form, no matter how minor

beth and jerry: pre established relationship obviously but its not a very good or happy one, maybe after 9 months they start trying to work on it again

#sorry if i refer to morty prime as c-137 at any point in this post i look at the rp community on here too much 😭#also this was way longer than i meant for it to get #whooops sorryyyy #alex says shit #rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #summer smith #beth smith #jerry smith #rick and morty ocs #rick a-26m #morty l9-dd #beth n0t #jerry n0t #earth dimension n0t #< probably gonna be my tag if i post more abt them as opposed to all of them and their dimension codes #summer x-1217

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nonbinarydeity · 2 years ago

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HI!! i love your blog sm--like, it's AMAZING. you and remcycl333 really revolutionized LOA for me--and i really like that you and i are similar (neurodivergent, spiritual, nonbinary, etc)!! i have a couple burning questions and i think you could really help me understand myself better. FTR ive had a lot of successes with the LOA but now im working on some more stuff (career, body, etc). that i think i have some reluctance about.

me and the bestie (my subconscious) can talk to each other. what's confusing me lately, though, is that when i have these inner convos i seem to always show up as the "old" me. for example, my desired voice (#transmasc moment) is much lower but my current voice sounds higher... even though i KNOW i have a new voice, i still naturally "appear" with my old body and talk in my mind with that higher voice. i can't tell if this is my subconscious trying to tell me that i should persist until i naturally talk with a lower voice in my 4-D, or maybe i'm just so used to being "old" me that it's just a habit for now (e.g., seeing yourself mentally as a kid even though you're chronologically 35)?? like, if i'm in the state of the wish fulfilled shouldn't i naturally know that i have (in my mind) what i wanted already?

** if i visualize, i can hear my new voice UNTIL the scene ends but as soon as that's done, i'm back to thinking with my old voice until i 'remember' or remind myself that i have a new one...... it doesn't help that i have to hear my old voice all the time when i talk to my family. i think i do a good job of dismissing the 3-D though, it doesn't really sadden me.

2. i have so many desires i literally cannot keep track. i keep adding more every day bc i always find more stuff that i want and while that's great, i cannot for the life of me figure out what is the best way to manifest all of them at once. throwing everything under the umbrella of "(i am in the state of having)/i have my perfect life" seems like a good idea, but if i start to think of something else on top of it does it matter if i switch to ONLY affirming for that?? i feel like i'm in the kitchen cooking something on all four burners and i worry if i take my attention off of one "dish" it'll burn (disappear). like, they're all cooking at the same time so they'll all finish eventually... i don't want to get exhausted by being like "omg i just thought of having better mental health" -> manifesting that + "omg i just thought of getting rid of my joint pain" -> "omg i think i should manifest not having limiting beliefs" -> manifesting that and then so on and so on...

AGAIN THAKN YOU SO MUCH i owe you my life 😭

Okay, this is so sweet frr 💕 ty so much for the ask!!

Okay, so from what I can tell, you're having a problem with your inner Self at the moment. You can imagine having what you want, but as soon as you stop imagining purposefully, you revert back to the old, is that right? So for me, there's a couple things you could do!

Ask your subconscious mind what to do about it/ if it can help you! This may seem obvious, but it's there to help, so it really can be the best solution!!

Let go of the old story in your mind. Your mind is your ultimate dwelling place, it's where you are the creator! If you don't want to sound like your old voice in your mind, you don't have to! Sit for a moment and imagine your desired voice, and when you finish, remind yourself that that is YOUR voice, that is the voice that you have. It can take a little bit of reminding to get your mind on the same page as you, but the more you practice the easier it will get!! You're just in a transition phase on your mind right now, just keep imagining having it and feeling fulfilled by it. Also, don't put weight on it if you do slip back, just let it go freely and switch back, with no judgement or guilt. That voice has no power over you, you have the power 💕

As for having way too many desires, I know how you feel 😭😭 The biggest advice I can give for this is: change your dwelling state of being! When you imagine having what you want, you can imagine as many things as you want - either at the same time or one after the other. You have no limits in your imagination!

Your subconscious mind already knows each desire you have, so the only reason you're imagining is to feel the fulfillment of having it, not to get it. When you start feeling fulfilled naturally, and as you continue to fulfill each desire in your mind, you will start to notice all of your desires coming to you effortlessly!

You are in control of your Self, and as you imagine having what you want more, the idea of having it and the state of fulfillment that comes with it will become more natural! Remember that you already have your desires in the 4D, your subconscious gave it to you already! All you're doing is getting into and maintaining a state of fulfillment because it feels good, which will get you your desires by proxy 💕

#answered asks #master manifestor #law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #living in the end #manifest

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lustale · 1 year ago

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Oh hey, I absolutely did NOT expect to noticed so quickly but hiii!! Wanna say that popping back into the UTMV fandom has been a bit rough, there's a lot of uhhh questionable users around.. So it made me really happy to see someone else who was also planning to do their own rewrite of Underlust!! I still need to read through your backlog of stuff, but I can firmly say that Sans' buckles are PEAK design. Only critique is maybe more buckles??? (jest)

Thank you for your work though, super duper cool to see you around. ^ ^

Oh, i noticed you INSTANTLY!!! (Also, its really nice seeing someone agree they dont enjoy Lust being seen as woman/girly because of who he is. Its the one rule i really have with Sans right now LMAO) But I have lots(like 5 but still xD) of Underlust accounts following me, they are so fun to see!! Ive talked directly to only one other, but you both have very unique and enjoyable content/art! I love the spikes you added to your S ans too btw??? Its so cute! And yea, dude.. I totally understand. Ive seen so many unique new users, some have.. Haha, really silly stuff going on! xD I try to ignore the weird apples and keep a open mind but sometimes i really just. Question......... Though, i will admit seeing "my era" of Undertale fans blossom (Like my Sister!) has been SO lovely!!! Specially seeing so many new artists who were in the fandom around my time grow and become the new 'big UTMV artist torch holders' have been so nice! I love the fact Undertale's Multi-Verse has had so many fresh, new, enjoyable creators to replace all of the weirdos who made the UTMV almost a gross cess-pool of fontcest and other nasty shit :// And thank you!!! God, i might make that a alt outfit... I think the buckles were the only thing next to the belt/longer coat and height change were the only things?? Since Sans' original design is still so ICONIC!!! I couldnt help myself with the buckles xDD But, thank YOU for supporting me!!!! Creators like you who enjoy/support me make me smile!!!! :} Its also why i still feel so, so confident in my attempt with Lusttale! Although im 100% aware Lusttale wont ever be *the* Underlust, its still a AU i love and seeing people welcome it as the new Underlust has also grown my confidence (Still, so sorry if i sound arrogant. I really dont mean to have the "chosen one" attitude and despite the owner making content i really dont agree with i dont want to disrespect, i just right now really feel more comfortable and 'in my zone' to continue Lusttale as a replacement for Underlust)

#lusttale #lustale #underlust but like acearo #sorry if the brackets in bold is annoying or causes any kind of reading issues!#underlust #ITS LONG SORRY LMAOOOO

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henriiiii-1001 · 4 months ago

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personal update

hey um. it's been a bit. i know i said i'd try to post more, maybe get some art out, but nothing has come out. for almost an entire year now, i've been completely demotivated from drawing, writing, doing anything creative. it's probably bc for years i've only posted my art to be like a "content creator" instead of posting just to show other people. irl i get very embarrassed abt showing off anything i do in fear of harsh critique, but online i never really had to worry abt that. but even then, posting my art has never been for the fun of posting but to gain popularity.

to be fair, ive never been a "popular artist" in any definition of the word. ive always had a small following on every social media i've owned, and any sort of "fame" i gained was being friendly w someone w way more followers than i could ever dream of getting. and even then, it didnt change much.

i think im gonna stop posting often. im really only gonna post here and there if i ever feel like it because i wanna give myself more time to get into drawing again and stuff. i dont want to lose my passion for art, ever, and im scared that this severe burnout is going to take that away. like, usually i can draw a lot when i have a hyperfixation, but even hyperfixating on pjsk hasn't given me much in terms of drawing inspo.

im also just not gonna be on tumblr in general much. maybe i'll immediately go back on that immediately after this, but idk. for rn, you're not gonna see me in ur notes if i follow you, im not gonna be asking questions, i just. can't. im sorry to the friends this will be affecting bc i love your works, i love your funny posts, i just can't be here in this state.

idk if i wanna turn my askbox off, so i'm keeping it open for right now. you can send em stuff there, i just wont answer it for a long while.

ig you can call this a hiatus, but i dont wanna call it that. that's all i have though. i hope i'll truly be okay when/if i come back. i'll miss all my friends, my mutuals, the cool people i follow, etc. but i still have discord if you ever wanna talk.

thanks for everything.

-henry

#posts #vent

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show-us-kaidenshenandoah · 8 months ago

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ill eventually make a proper, pretty intro-post

but hello, hi, i am Kaiden-Shenandoah Knapp

also, yes, Kaiden-Shenandoah is my first name. the hyphen is optional, but you still have to type/say the whole thing. no, you may not call me "Kaiden". yes, i am aware it is a mouthful lol

(probably gonna change my surname is "Knapped" in a few years. i wanna distance myself from some shitty family while making the Indigeneity in my surname more apparent. dont be surprised when that happens. im just putting it off bc i got a lot on my plate rn lol)

(also if you knew me as "Kayleen", hi, hello, i no longer go by that childhood nickname. it is retired, wave goodbye, better to have loved and lost and all that)

this is my messily mindless "welcome to my head" blog, we do things very casually here. im making it my new Main (as of 24 March 2024). my professional/art blog is @kaidenshenandoahknapp

but the real point of this post is: i am not a bot lol

and also, stuff is on a queue (until i do a mass-reblog binge but, typically, i am on queue)

everything in my queue is now 2 post per 24 hours (as of: 20 April 2024)

ive been on tumblr before, but since this is a new Main, im just going through my favorite content-creation blogs i know and mass-queueing loads of the op's projects. (if you are one of those said blogs and find this nth new notes a day from me annoying, please let me know; and i will just spam them all to Post Now so i can get out of your hair asap) i'm also just not good at regularly keeping up with creators' new stuff week-by-week, so instead i generally mass-queue because i assume mass-reblogging is a bit more overwhelming, idk, maybe im just overthinking lol

tags guide: (mostly for me, ngl lol i need reminders of what i tag what when i do my mass-queues)

#me - me posting something

#relatable - "omg that is so me" at someone else's post

#aesthetic - me just really liking the vibes, which sometimes just also happens to be pretty to look at lmao

#canines wolves and werewolves i love - i know what i am about. ill probably have more "niche My Special Interest tags" as i find posts that fit them

#nutty nutcrackers / #the nutcracker - another Special Interest tag. pretty self-explanatory, i like The Nutcracker a lot lmao

#betty boop - you would think this belongs with fandom tags, but no. part of why i am obsessed with her (and have been since i was, like, 14) is because she was the popularization of the very next tag's trend

#infantalization in animation - it's when you apply baby facial proportions to an adult bodied character, it's most often done in female characters. i'll be using this tag outside of animated stuff btw. but yeah, anything that examines that visual design choice i am all 👀 over lmao

#other people's art - any individual person, not counting final version of studio work (like ill tag "Lilo and Stitch"'s exploratory concept art with this, sure, but i wont tag stills of the "Lilo and Stitch" film)

↳ #animal art

↳ #background art

↳ #oc art - is all "my original character in a canon piece" kind of ocs, not the "my original character in my original story" type

↳ there are also specifically listed artists here and there if they have influenced me/my style in the past or recently (such as but not limited to: #rvsa). almost all of them are indies with social media (aka: no Van Gogh, no Hayao Miyazaki. if they have their own fandom, i tag said fandom and not the specific artist, usually. it depends. there are some gray areas)

#brushes - the (digital) brushes people i like use

#art tips

#writing tips - is about actually doing the practice

#on writing - is the philsophy about the practice

#[insert fandom here]

#[insert fandom here] analysis

(here are the tags i chose for some fandoms that had multiple possible tags. this is not all of my fandom tags)

● #studio ghibli, #[insert studio ghibli title here] (i tag both the movie itself and studio. because sometimes i want something from the original movie, so i go into those tags; and i also go to the studio to look at overarching things since the studio has such a strong overall aesthetic/visual brand)

● #[insert disney title] (here, i do tag the specific movies and i dont just use the studio. because im usually looking for specific things this one disney movie has)

● #moomin (as opposed to "moominvalley", "tales of moominvalley", or the like)

● #my hero academia (so many different options for one work)

● #trigun (so many different branching creations from one source lmao im just gonna lump them together)

● #into the spiderverse (i dont use "across the spiderverse" for simplicity's sake, and i don't use the hyphen/space between "spider(-)verse" also for simplicity. its easier for me to be consistent if i just go "nah, its all one word")

● #marvel comics (i do not tag the mcu specifically)

● #dc comics, #batman (i tag both. but i dont tag any other dc comics property. i just know im esp obsessed with the batfam enough that, sure, they should get their own tag)

#me

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kissmetwicekissmedeadly · 4 months ago

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Oh Kat :( Out of all of this I'm concerned the most about you writing for others and not for yourself, but I'm willing to see your point. It happens often to me, I daydream a lot and when i catch myself thinking "this would make a good fic" i have to make sure I'm not putting pressure on myself. in a way yeah it's as if you're offering this as a gift to others, like here's whats in my brain, it took me 2 hours to make it so you can experience my thoughts too. and to me the solution to this is, you gotta find something that makes it worth it to post other than the notes and the feedback. for me this is the documentation of these thoughts. because when they're in your head they start to fade with time but when they're on paper you can revisit them in their full glory LMAO yes I'm talking even about a theo smut fic, especially about a theo smut fic. also yeah writing without posting is a thing but if you're like me you wouldn't put in the same effort so...

also the fulfillment of having a collection of something that you carefully constructed, each one bit by bit. my fics are like my children, i love them all even if I've forgotten some of their names oops

i dont want to sound like a philosopher or try to change your mind on something that I'm sure you've already spent enough time thinking on, i just. genuinely hope you're having a healthy approach to this thing. because it's scary to start feeling weird about your hobby to the point where you don't want to do it anymore. i know there's plenty of outside factors and i can only wish you a better job opportunity in the near future, i really really hope things get better for you.

as for the fandom having been more interactive than how it is right now, Ive already talked about this awhile ago but i...don't think so? especially when you say that people arent talking to each other, when that's all I'm seeing on my dash. there's so much going on now, more than ive ever seen before. when i was lurking on the tag back in the early days of ikevamp EN, there were tons of posts every day but those people didn't necessarily talk to each other, they were just co-existing. does anyone remember the ikemen-writers-of-discord or something like that? it was a large writing community that posted under one blog, so many creators listed on there. in my eyes that was a pretty big deal. i was just starting off with my writing and i secretly hoped to get in there one day. now i look back at it, and it turns out the notes they've accumulated are mostly likes. it could be that i stumbled upon the wrong fics for this conclusion, but still, it makes me think that people were a lot more shy back then! whereas now we do so many things to make the community feel warmer. there are tons of challenges, we encourage ocs which is a pretty big thing for prompting interactions between blogs, we're roleplaying like never before, we also have more cybird games so there's always something to talk about... i know people are going to hate me for this but i think this is the best time to be a part of the ikemen fandom on tumblr.it's very easy to fall for nostalgia blues and i miss the early days as well but we shouldn't dwell too much on it right? try talking to people again! maybe you just couldn't mash well with the last one(s) you approached but that shouldn't stop you from trying! and of course don't push yourself either... for this or for writing. kinktober is a serious deal. ive only completed it once. you shouldn't aim to complete it every year :( you're gonna burn out big time and we don't want that

thank you for respecting my choice, Kat. just you wait until i cure my depression and i binge some of your stuff again KJHKFHG

A YEAR IN THE MAKING

You know this BIG project I keep mentioning??

A good amount of you have guessed it, some of you know all about it because I've been bouncing ideas off of you to help me with the thought process.

SALAÌ IS GETTING HIS OWN ROUTE!!!!

Long story short.. it was supposed to be 8-10 chapters. It was going to be a speed run route. It's obvs not a real route it can be quick and not so indepth right? Right?

It's 20 chapters. With 3 side stories and an Episode 0.

There were going to be 4 cgs but... Art is pricey and well... honestly.. his route isn't even canon.

In Salaìs route, you, the mc, meet Salaì as he's painting in town. He's there looking for someone but you don't know who. But you get closer to him, going on little dates.. having no choice but to stay at his place for a night, helping him get his art shown in a gallery...and then it falls apart

I will be posting each chapter separately. There will be 3-4 days between each chapter. I will have a tag list. If you are tagged on this post you are already part of it. If you'd like to be part of it just comment saying so.

Minor details: so he has 3 side stories plus the episode 0...those will not be posted here. I've put so much work into this.. literally started August 25th last year...they will be available on Kofi as the chapters related to them are posted. They will only $1. You don't need these side stories for the main story just like in the game so please don't complain about me putting 4 of these behind a pay wall.

Info on the route itself: I will be staying this once I start posting it but through the story I will be calling him Salaì..but for a good part of it he goes by a different name. It shouldn't be confusing but he does have three names after all. Also I said his route isn't canon, meaning his route does not line up with his actual lore. In no way would Salai chose Mc over Leonardo, and I also don't put all of trauma of his in here bc its not really the focus, and like I said.. not even canon. BUT I AM WILLING TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS AT ANY GIVEN TIME. I also have @ask-salai where you can ask questions about it too if you would want HIM to answer and not me.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS READ AND INTERACT WITH THIS.

Not trying to be threatening... But if this doesn't do well... I'm not sure if I'll continue writing. This is a years worth of work. Reblogs really do mean a lot to me. I want feedback. I want to know what you guys think.

I still need to proof read it all and doubt check some things but I wanted to get the word out about what I was doing.

@chandeliermichel @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @fang-and-feather @namine-somebodies-nobody @evil-quartett @lokis-laugh @candied-boys @breadmercury @aquagirl1978 @xenokiryu @lulu-the-smol-floof @tako-cafe @floydsteeth @spoopy-fish-writes @weird-profiterole

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northern-passage · 4 years ago

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hello i hope you are having a good day/night was wanting to ask if you did write any other games before this one or did you publish stories or something,,, i am trying to work on an IF but this is my first time and i do write but i have never published anything i also usually get bored fast and just yeah your story is so so good and you put a lot of effort and work into it just wondering if you have any tips or advice like the thought of publishing something is terrifying and i don’t know if i can do it i just don’t have faith in myself

i have not published anything before this!!!

i worked as an editor in college for our creative writing club/group and do technically have credit for that as we did publish an anthology together but i never submitted anything myself to be published, i just helped behind the scenes.

ive always done a bit of writing here and there for myself, and have had story ideas brewing in my mind but nothing i’ve ever gone out and finished or anything. kinda just writing for myself before this. technically i’ve always been much more of a reader than a writer.....

and like. i worked on the tnp prologue for...hmm.....maybe a month before i published it on the forums? part of that was simply mental illness x LOL i got fixated and it wasn’t healthy and i also already had a lot of the story beforehand because it was going to be a dnd campaign... but that’s not the point. i wrote the prologue and was kinda just sitting with it before biting the bullet and posting it. and i didnt really read a lot of interactive fiction before this last summer. i just happened to follow an artist that was into it and that was how i got introduced to everything and realized it was something i could just do!!! and that it would be a cool way to share a story and get feedback

i published my demo in august and like...whew if u read the first version of the prologue u get a veteran’s discount. it wasn’t BAD but it needed a lot of work. it sucks getting criticisms and that’s definitely...a big thing to get over in the beginning. the mortifying ordeal of sharing ur writing. but it’s helped me A Lot and tnp is only as good as it is because i decided to share it and subject myself to the mortifying ordeal lmao

also getting bored is something that happens! it just does. all creatives get bored with their work sometimes or just move on but it doesnt make u any less of a writer or artist or anything. there’s that one tiktok by ghosthoney....taking a break even if it’s for years doesnt take away from the fact that you’re a creator.

my biggest tips are just. first things first you just gotta go for it. just start writing, even if you don’t publish it. don’t feel like you NEED to publish stuff, especially if you’re not ready, and never feel like you need to ‘rush’ or anything. you have all the time in the world to write at ur own pace. and while i can’t promise u that one day you’ll wake up and just be like “i’m ready” a la spongebob...there will definitely come a day where u just make that jump. that’s what i did

second is try not to compare urself to others too much, especially when it comes to like...numbers? so like word counts, followers, updates, etc. like everyone writes at their own pace and some ppl are fast as hell whereas others take a lot longer and it’s just something that is personal. don’t compare the attention someone else might get to what you get - some ppl just have more vocal audiences than others and it doesnt mean ur any less appreciated. also being on the internet be sure to set ur own boundaries, what ur comfortable with, etc.

and again...publishing stuff does take courage and you gotta be ready for feedback. some of it will be genuinely helpful...some of it will not. and especially with IF, people might try and pressure you to make things a certain way. that was one thing i wasn’t really expecting? and sometimes as i said suggestions are actually helpful, because you really can’t think of everything on your own and another set of eyes helps round out choices, but there are also some that want things to go in a completely different direction and you got to make sure it’s actually something YOU want, something that fits the story, and not just something you’re doing to please readers.

the tone and setting of tnp and the fact that i have a bit of a more defined mc makes some of the suggestions i get just....not good LOL and you just got be ready to filter that kind of feedback

and with writing to publish, keep in mind that people’s tastes are unpredictable. you can almost never guess how people will react or what they will like, and something not being immediately popular doesn't mean it's bad or you should change the way you're writing, though you will want to keep ur audience in mind. and as for your audience, you may not attract the people you expect, and there’s really no way to control that - but again setting your own boundaries is most important, first and foremost.

posting stuff publicly is really just a wild card. there’s no one universal experience - it’s unpredictable, it’s scary, it’s hard, but it can also be really really rewarding

i also will say i got lucky that about a month and half? maybe? after i published my demo i joined an authors server that has been a HUGE help. i could totally hit u with that if you’re interested!! having a group of authors to talk to that “get it” is very nice. definitely try to interact with and follow other authors you like - in my experience they almost are always down to answer questions and offer help :-)

#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG OML.....#i hope..this helped a little at least.....sorry for my rambling 🤡#feel free to ask more questions too #ask #anonymous

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silentstaresfanficandfanart · 3 months ago

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awww thank you uwuwu <3 its just something i know a lot of peopele struggle with, ive been writing fan works and original works for like ten years now (maybe more-) so i've really come to understand things a bit better I hope... I cant say for certain this will work, but I can say, fighting the fear of being cringe has been one of the best decisions ive ever made, being genuine, and being willing to say weird fricking junk and be potentially judged for it, has done SO MUCH for me and I was frankly completely ignored untill i decided to love that side of myself and embrace it, and worse yet, I wasn't enjoying myself-

and the sad thing is is you wont end up with a fanbase that you vibe with if you dont do what you really want too which kinda traps you, Im really blessed to have my 'wataru blimp' friends, they started out as readers who really liked my stories and just wanted to talk about them together and hang out with me some and it turned into one of my closest and dearest groups of friends <3 and they've already made like, permanant real helpful changes to my life that forever reshaped how im handling myself and my health mentally and physically going forward

if you write for yourself, people like you will wind up in your fandom most likely! not guranteed but usually. Theres a reason you like the tropes and writing stuff you like, and those tend to be similar life experiences and beliefs. You dont just write what you know CONCIOUSLY, you WILL write what you know UNCONCIOUSLY too.

Sincerely ii fear that nothing is more invasive and mortifying than having a reader/friend look you dead in the eyes and say "I know why you like clowns" then psychoanalyzing you better than any therapist youve ever had- Jokes aside it also just means youll actually probably WANT to engage in your own fandom because they're LIKE you in some capacity, which is pretty great if you ask me <3 and theyll be happy to see whatever you make next, becuase well, they already like what YOU bring to the table as a writer.

Remember, what YOU bring to the table, what makes YOU have value as a writer and creator, is who you are as a person <3 Theres a reason people have favorite writers and artists and musicians and so on, they like *you* so make sure youre giving them *you* not giving them what youre told will make you the most money, because people are NOT as likely to wait for you to put out something new unless they like who YOU are as a creator <3

All of this is to say, have fun. The most important rule of writing, is to have fun, and be yourself, as silly and cliche as that might sound.

It wont always be a gleeful happy experience, but it should be at least fun sometimes, and it NEEDS to be about something you want to write that speaks to you and makes you happy. Theres a reason I can spend days working nearly non stop on a book, im having FUN. Be your own fandom, Embrace your characters and your world and they'll embrace you back, and rememeber that shying away from potentially emberassing things or trying to be overly self aware to hide from feelings and 'cringe' will usually ruin the very thing you were trying to achieve <3

Just in case any fanfic writers don’t think their writing is good enough or sound natural enough, I just read a published book that included the phrases ‘a street savy yet affectionate hand clasp’ and ‘ at the sound, a dose of freak-out juice ran through her’. You’re doing fine

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multi-lefaiye · 3 years ago

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ive been rotating what little i know about Alekto Cudaas in my mind since yesterday and would please like to hear More (no pressure tho)

thank you,,,, you are in luck because Alekto is the character in CUDAAS that i rotate around in my mind the most and at the highest velocity!! 9/10 times when i'm thinking about this story, i'm probably just thinking about Alekto in some way asdjfk;l

ok idk how long this gets,,, i'm so sorry nico u may have unleashed a Monster. so i'll type this up and if i need to i will put it under a cut <3

CW: implied/referenced physical abuse and discussion of romance!

anyway so! Alekto! my beloved!!!! they originally were, like. very much a background character i made to round out the world a bit, but then i thought more about the three character traits i gave them and went "wait there's actually something interesting here." so now they're one of the main POV characters. <3

okay i'm not quite sure how much i wanna ramble because this is still in pretty early development, but i'll share some Alekto Facts™ and elaborate on some things from the powerpoint.

so Alekto is a very gentle character for the most part. they've seen a LOT of violence and cruelty in their time, and they've had a lot of it directed at themself (even from other guardians in their original flock). so as a result they're loathe to show that same cruelty to anyone else, and they won't engage in violence unless absolutely necessary.

that doesn't mean they can't kick the shit out of someone if needed, though! Alekto is very small but very physically strong, and they've learned to use their magic (which is more defensive) to fight if they need.

'cause that's a thing i haven't really talked about much!!!! guardians each have some magic, and usually it differs from guardian to guardian and is highly specialized. wildlings have magic, too, but theirs isn't as specialized and not always unique to each wildling.

Alekto's magic specifically is that they can create shields out of pure energy, essentially little forcefields. and though that is a defensive power they've gotten creative and figured out how to use it in a fight to their advantage.

for example, like... i have this scene in mind with Alekto and Narkissos sparring, and their magic is meant to complement each other's (Narkissos can do essentially the same thing they can, but he makes blades instead of shields), which means they're uniquely able to counter each other in a way most can't. also Alekto is strong enough that they can just. pick Narkissos up and fucking throw her, despite her being a solid foot taller.

okay physical stuff aside, one thing i really like about Alekto is that they are deeply fascinated with life and the act of creation. to most guardians, creation is something reserved for the gods, so Alekto's love for art could, in a way, be considered an insult to their creator. and i think that could partly be why they like it--not because they view themself as a god or because they view the gods as inferior, but because they just love to create and breathe life into things in a metaphorical sense.

Alekto paints, draws, sculpts, weaves... they just love to make things!!! it's their favorite thing to do and it helps them relax and be happy more than anything else does. they don't usually share a lot of their creations, but they just like makin' em.

i have this idea of like... either as an AU or maybe something later in the series, but Alekto would love being an art teacher. just something to think about <3

okay this is a little long but uhhh the last thing i will talk a little about is Alekto's relationship with Hekate!!! because that's kinda what spurred this into an actual story.

SO yeah i'm not being subtle at all but Hekate and Alekto's relationship eventually becomes romantic as the story continues!!! but the romance isn't the reason why it's so important to me: it's important because it's the catalyst for both of them to change dramatically as people, and also because i just feel so Soft™ for them,,,,

Alekto and Hekate's relationship is defined primarily by acts of service and helping each other. it starts really small, but soon it becomes a huge theme with them. Alekto feels like their purpose in life is to be useful to others and help them, and they have a lot of issues letting others help them with anything or showing any kind of vulnerability, because in their old flock that would result in them being punished harshly. but then Hekate comes along, and over time he becomes the first person they open up to and show vulnerability around.

a lot of Alekto's character arc, aside from realizing how fucked up the system they exist in is and wanting to change it for the better, centers around them learning to be vulnerable and allow others to help them.

i do really want to write this one scene i've had in mind for a while that's just... Alekto saves Hekate, and as they're healing him he asks them teasingly, "When will it be my turn to help you?" and they don't have an answer for that </3 but it's a really important moment and a bit of a turning point,,,,

okay thank you sorry for how long this is, i just love Alekto with my whole heart <3

to wrap things up. here is a meme that sums up where i think Alekto's character arc is going after book one.

[Image Description: A screenshot of a question and answer from Yahoo Answers (?). The question reads: "Are you tired of being nice?" and the follow-up reads: "Don't you just want to go ape shitt" End ID.]

#talk to the bunnykitty #chaotic queer disaster #cudaas #thank you i love talking about alekto cudaas #alekto cudaas #yeah that's their tag for now ASDFJK;L #helekto #that's the tag for them and hekate <3 yeah

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clockworkreapers · 3 years ago

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what are your tips for making good fantrolls, ive been stuck on it for a while

I am so sorry I left this one in the box for a while, I've been very distracted but I hope this can help.

Note neither I or anyone else should be the say all end all for characters, especially OCs because they are yours you should be able to have the freedom to do what you want. I also wont touch on things like clothing or visual designs because those while they can make a character look cool they arent what make a good character. Just like people someone’s looks dont relate to how interesting, nice, or relatable they are. However these are things that work for me. “Good” is up to interpretation but what I can tell you is what makes a solid and understandable or relatable character.

Cornerstones:

One thing that really helps with any type of character are cornerstones!(they can also be called core themes but it just means the same thing) I know I have said this before but cornerstones are extremely helpful when making a character. They can help with design the most but can also give you lil hints at personalities. Think of it like an oak tree seed. You plant the seed and it grows, it has different branches that go off from its core but it's all part of the same tree. Cornerstones can be anything and with a bit of research you have pretty much everything you need, not to mention it will go super fast. Example: Troll based on Aconitum.

This plant is commonly known as wolf's-bane, give them a wolf lusus and wolf ear horns. (or you could use any of the other nicknames)

The flower is purple,make them a purple blood.

Gender identity: presents as female due to the other nicknames “women's bane” or “queen of poisons”

Aconitum comes from the Greek ἀκόνιτον, which may derive from the Greek akon for dart or javelin, there's your weapon.

Name? Easy could be any of these if you wanna do 6 letters: firmum, flavum, or pascoi. Each are part of the species of Aconitum.

That took maybe 10 minutes looking through wikipedia. So this is like a really easy way to make a character who has a solid theme. So you see how helpful cornerstones are especially with trolls since they are usually based on themes! (also yes anyone can use the example)

Personality:

Personalities are always big ones. Character personalities will also change overtime but characters who are really enjoyed by people are ones who are understandable and relatable. You can even pull off god mode characters if you have the personality and reasons to match up with your character.

Questioning: Usually the more you ask questions about a character like “Does that match them?” you will slowly start to see a personality form. The best characters are ones you don't actually control and you know you have one where they kind of start telling you things about them. Instead of you commanding like “He/she/they do this” it changes to a question “Would He/she/they do this?” and the character will give you an answer. This also allows a character to sort of grow into their own so they're not just copies of their creator’s personality and whims.

Realism: Now realism doesn't mean “non fiction” in this sense, what it means is that a character acts in realistic ways to their environments and stimulus. You sort of need to think about what they would do in situations that would arise in their environment and how they would react based on what you know about them. Things like RP or putting characters in different AU’s helps a lot with this but you can also do it with just coming up with a random prompt and sticking them in it. With realism you also need to know what your characters' limits are, what they can and can't do or what they would and wouldn't do. Trust me giving characters limits to their power isn't bad, it actually makes them more relatable, just like us there's always someone better than us but there's also always someone worse off. Reasons: Every character has their reasons, even super powerful characters have to have reasons to be understood. They can have logical reasons or emotional reasons, it always depends on the character but a mix of both is the best one.

I hope this helps! Also please remember this is just what I have found works for me, everyone will have their own way to create and each way is just as valid! If anyone wants to add on what works for them go for it!

#LONG POST #clock rambles #character design #fantrolls #tips and tricks #character creation #character tips #open post #not art #creation tips #character personalities #character cornerstones #character themes #character #ask

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vintagesimstress · 4 years ago

Text

IV. The most useful meshing tools in Blender

(Previous: IIIb. Method II: The sneaky way)

Only in my own, very subjective opinion, of course. I bet many other creators would disagree with me on this selection, but those are the tools I use almost every time when I mesh something new.

This part is going to look a bit different that the previous ones: it won't be a step-by-step guide, but rather a short explanation of different options (some of which I already partially covered) and their possible usefulness, so that you could just implement whichever you want in your own projects.

1. Snap to symmetry

You can find this option in that dropdown (dropup?) menu hidden under the 'Mesh' button, in the bottom bar. It does just what it says on the tin: if a vertex on the left side on your mesh has it's exact equivalent on the right side (so, let's say, vertex A has x = 20, and vertex B has x = -20, and y and z are the same), Blender will recognise them as mirrored.

Make sure to use this option only on parts which really are symetrical! Otherwise you might end up with some of your vertices being symmetrised and others not, and then it'll all become a hot mess. So, in case of our dress, you shouldn't use it on the skirt, but it's perfectly safe to use it on the upper body parts, which are, by default, completely symmetrical – even if Blender doesn't necessarily know it yet. Of course, that applies only if you used the same top as me – I can't speak for others!

2. X mirror

A follow-up to the whole symmetrising process. You can find that option in the toolbar on the left (T), in the 'Options' tab. Just tick it. And now select any vertex of your symmetrised top and move it wildly around. You'll notice that the same happens on the other side of the mesh as well.

3. Proportional editing

I know, I know, we've already used it so many times...! But proportional editing is pure magic and I think it deserves another mention. Depending on the falloff type, you can use it to quickly create a variety of different shapes. Just as a reminder: you turn it on by pressing either O (for all vertices) or alt+O (only for connected vertices) and then select the falloff type in that bottom bar. By default it's set to 'Smooth', which is probably the most universal option. You can make a bigger or smaller area affected by your edits by moving the mouse scroll – by default it's set to VERY big, so probably your whole mesh will be moving. Don't panic and just scroll until you see a white circle – that's exactly the 'affected area'.

Why mention it now? Because combined with the 2 previous tools it's a perfect way to make those 1890s puffs! Let's take a look at it, shall we?

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Practical Application Corner

I think by now I can admit it: the dress I'm trying to make here with you is this 1897 wedding dress:

As you can see, the dress has some shoulder-puffs: moderate in volume and rather roundish, so they shouldn't be hard to make. I already symmetrised the mesh, turned on the x mirror and proportional editing. I'll just change the falloff type to 'Sphere' and I'm ready to go.

Now I'll simply select a vertex on one of the shoulders and move it up. It's probably the best to do it while looking at the mesh from the front (num 1) - that'll make it easier to see what's going on.

Doesn't look bad, but I'm aware that the puff is still very 2D. You can see it very well if you switch to top view (num 7). To solve this problem, I'll select two vertices this time, one on the front of the puff and another on the back, and scale them – still with all the same options. Much better!

If you want to, you can spend some more time fine tuning your puff. Depending on how much you enlarged it, you might also want to select both puffs, turn triangles into quads (alt+j), then subdivide it smooth (W, select from the dropdown menu) and change to tris again (ctrl+t). However, it might be quite difficult to just 'select your puff' now, so maybe wait with it till the next part, where I'll talk about uv maps...? That'd make stuff a lot easier.

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4. Dissolving

That's a very simple and very useful tool, which lets you just dissolve – but not delete – vertices, edges or faces. What it means practically is that if you use it instead of deleting, you won't get a hole in your mesh. Lets say you subdivided your puffs, triangulated them again and discovered some weird lines here and there...

When you switch to edit mode, you immediately see that it's because some of your new vertices aren't proprely connected. At the same time you see that if you let Blender do it automatically, you'll be left with very unpleasant, narrow triangles. It'd be better to get rid of those diagonal lines which I marked in red.

And how do you do it? Very simply: select them and either press x (or delete) and select 'dissolve edges' from the dropdown menu, or – while in edge select mode - simply press ctrl+x.

And how do you change them into sensible triangles? Well, you either triangulate them automatically (ctrl+t), hoping that Blender will be reasonable... Or you can use another simple yet super useful tool.

5. Knife

You activate it by pressing k. It's just what it sounds like: a tool which lets you cut your mesh in any way you want. You can use it to manually cut proper triangles (which I'm going to do right now), but also for a variety of other things. Cool feature: it gently snaps to existing vertices, so if you want to connect vertex A and vertex B, you can do it without much struggle. Press enter when you're done.

But why would you want to use it for anything else than correcting triangles? Why would you cut some random shapes in your mesh? Well, because then you could use another cool tool.

6. Extruding

The principle is very simple. You select any vertices, edges or faces you want and then press e – and suddenly new vertices, edges or faces appear. You can freely move them around, or – which is almost always a better idea – right after that 'e' you can press s to scale them, or x/y/z, to limit the movement to only one axis. You used it while making the skirt and way earlier, when you were meshing a cup. But extruding isn't limited only to this; it's also a perfect way to make 3D collars, belts, cuffs, trims, random deco – almost anything, actually.

7. Flip direction

An interesting peculiarity of Blender meshes – no idea how other software deals with it – is that meshes have only one side. In other words, if you extrude something from your main mesh – let's say, I don't know... Wings? - they will be visible from side A, but if you look from the opposite side, it'll be as if they weren't there at all. Perfectly invisible. That's why in case of such parts you have to duplicate them and then flip direction of that copy, to get the texture on both sides.

Select the part you want to duplicate. Chances are the texture is not even all on one side; in such case press ctrl+n or open the left bar (T) and, in the Shading/UV tab, choose 'Recalculate'. Now press shift+d to duplicate, press enter immediately, and from the same tab select 'Flip Direction'. Your mesh should be double-sided now.

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Practical Application Corner

I want to make that weirdly shaped deco piece my dress is supposed to have on the front. I dissolved some edges and recut them, to get a pretty smooth curve, and now I'm going to extrude it. Whoops, I almost forgot to turn off the X mirror!

So I press e and, immediately afterwards, y, to extrude that part to the front.

As expected, the extruded part became a mess. I'll switch to face select, select all the faces and then hit 'Recalculate'.

And here comes the surprise: I won't duplicate it and flip direction immediately. First I'd like to adjust it, so that it sits perfectly; some subdividing, some proportional editing, moving vertices around to get a natural, smooth look. Creating the other side is usually the very last thing I do, just before taking in-game screenshots and posting my CC. Single vertices are easier to deal with, and every piece requires tons of corrections and small adjustments, long after you first think it's already done.

In any case, in some distant future, when I'm sure that this... Frill? What even is this? ...works properly, I'll select those faces again, press shift+d, enter, and then flip direction. Let's just see how it'd look now...

The frill is double-sided. Victory!

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8. Knife project

My absolute favourite tool ever, which I use in almost every second mesh. Similar to knife, but way more sophisticated. It lets you project a shape of one object on another one, cutting it into the mesh. Let me explain...

So, let's say your dress is supposed to have a round collar. You could dissolve some edges, make new ones and move already existing vertices, hoping to get that perfect, round shape – but for reasons which we'll discuss next time (uv-1) I would advise against it. So what's the alternative?

Go into object mode and create a new circle (shift+a). Move it around, rotate it, scale it etc. - do whatever you have to to position it exactly in the place where you want your mesh to be cut. Watch out: your viewpoint matters! Knife project is cool, but a bit dumb and will just cut through the first layer it sees on its way. From my experience, it's the best to make two cuts: one exactly from the front, the other from the back. So press num 1 and put the circle (which you can also make into a half-circle btw, that might be easier) in the right place. Let's say we want it here...

Now, go back to object mode. Click the cut called 'Circle' and then, while holding shift, your mesh: s4studio_mesh_1. Go to edit mode. You'll see that you're back to your base mesh, but the red half-circle is still floating in the air right before it.

Open that sidebar on the left (T), go to the 'Tools' tab and click 'Knife Project'. Now, before you do anything, go to back view (ctrl+ num 1) and click 'Knife Project' again. Hide the circle by closing that little eye on the right (or just right-click it and choose ‘delete’, if you’re sure you won’t need it anymore) and admire your newly cut collar.

What about all the new vertices? There's so many of them, how to clean them? Again talking from my own experience: merging (alt+m) is safe only in case of vertices which are located very close to each other. Also, if you merge after using knife, always merge at center. However, the rule of the thumb is: it's always better to dissolve and cut new edges than move the existing vertices. Uv-1 can be nasty and trust me, you don't want to deal with it more than necessary. Be extra careful if you're merging or moving anything in the breast area! In there every tiniest mistake is immediately visible.

9. Edge split modifier

The last point on the list is not really a tool, but a modifier. Maybe you remember how Blender Guru was using something called 'Subdivision Surface Modifier' in his tutorial? The one we're going to use can be found in exactly the same place. Go to the little wrench on the right, click 'Add Modifier' and select 'Edge Split' from that menu.

Untick the 'Edge Angle' option, leaving only 'Sharp Edges' selected.

Why would you want your edges to be split in the first place? Because Blender by default smoothes any edges in your mesh. Normally it's a very welcome feature, but sometimes can be annoying. For example, if you 'close' your dress at the bottom – select the lowest row of vertices, extrude and scale them and then merge at center – the bottom edge of your dress will get slightly curved, creating an ugly, dark line:

There are two ways to fix it: either you select that lowest line, press ctrl+e and click 'Edge Split'... Or you choose, from the same list, 'Mark Sharp' and leave the actual splitting to the modifier. The immediate visual result will be the same; however, by only marking edges as sharp you don't actually split them yet, which makes it way easier in case of any future corrections. You don't have to remember to select each vertex twice, as they're not doubled. You can select all and remove doubles, and your edges still will stay marked as sharp. It's super useful and I wish I knew of its existence earlier – it would have saved me SO much work!

Just as a side note: obviously, those closing lines of skirts or sleeves aren't the only places you might want to mark as sharp. The same goes for anything that's layered, so e.g. edges between a shirt and a jacket, edges around a necktie, around a belt etc. If you're not sure what you should mark and what not, just take a close look at your mesh in solid shading. Any weird shadows visible? Mark the edges. The problem should disappear.

And you know what's the best? Even when you apply the modifier – e.g. because you want to be able to quickly select only a certain, separated part of your mesh (with L) – the edges still stay marked as sharp! So you can just do your corrections, select all and remove doubles, and then add the Edge split modifier again. It's so quick and simple.

By the way, you don't even have to click apply for the modifier to work. Even if it's left unapplied, S4S will still recognise it and import your mesh with all the sharp edges being split. Magic!

*** *** ***

I'm sorry it got so long, but I think I really managed to cover every important aspect of meshing. You know all my secrets now :P. Unfortunately, meshing is only a small part of CC making, so there are still many things we'll have to discuss – but hopefully it's somehow comforting to you that at least that part is over. I hope I helped you feel more confident in Blender and saved you some meshing struggles! I know for a fact that not knowing the majority of those things was the reason why meshing my first dress took me two months ;].

Let me know if anything isn't clear and stay tuned! We'll finally talk about uv maps next time.

(Next: V. Adding missing body parts / Frankenmeshing / Finishing touches)

#tutorial #meshing #Blender #Blender 2.79 #playtested on hubs

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