#ive been working on this piece on and off for weeks bc of how much my new job has taken my energy away lately
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sappho-rose · 10 months ago
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canon + fem! bachira idea i saw on twitter :3 (that i cant fucking find the tweet for 😭)
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butnotbubblegum · 4 months ago
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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coolnonsenseworld · 2 years ago
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I've been working on a lot of new pieces and making them into merch, but before I start posting all of them you can go check out in the shops (linktr.ee/mezzy) Valentine's Bundle - merch that celebrates love (.... I mean klance, but I added Cuddlers as well, because I bet that if everyone had a Cuddler, world would be a better place).
There is a discount code fo 14% off of the Valentine's bundle - 7 codes for each shop (Bigcartel and Payhip) so use LO7E at the check out for a discount!
Happy Valentine's everyone thank you so much for sharing this with me and see you with the next post 💕💖💖
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yanosdiary · 4 months ago
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Fuck.
#whT if i just. what if i just. what if i just#haha. hehehe. hahahaha. fuck. me.#i blinked. i fucking BLINKED. suddenly theyre yelling at each other.#'shes on her period her emotions are out of control rn'#no you dont understand. thats not how it works. you dont snap like that bc ur on ur period.#im scared. im so fucking scared. what#if she has bpd too. what if it passed down to her and its judt showing now?#yk when it happened i only felt hurt in my chest? i didnt feel anything at all. all that emotional training paid off ig#yeard and years of telling myself to shut my emotions off rlly worked bc ive never heard her scream and cuss like that before#yet i didnt feel anything. but i did feel my inner child crying. i felt deja vu.#a distant memory of when she was yelling and arguing with HIM while i cry and piss myself on the rug when i was barely 2 years old#when my mom yelled and started sobbing and started cussing and fuck#it was so triggering but it felt like my body stopped working. it stopped completely. but like#my instincts. felt. like. it was on fight or flight mode. i wanted to run. my legs ached and i couldnt walk but it felt like i wanted to run#i wanma falk about it i wanna ralk about it so bad but what if i talk too much and ppl see how depressed i really am#i dont want to give off rhat impression. i want to give off a happy impressiom even tho im not#for ronight. and tomorrow. i dont wanna function properly.#ive functioned enouvh this week. ill take a break today and tomorrow.#for tomorrow. ill pretend i died and my ghost is wandering around my room. for tomorrow ill rot my soul away.#ill pick up the pieces for it later. i dont feel like piecing myself together right now.#im so. im so fucking tired. i feel like the only thing thatll comfort me rn is to hug a clay statue of yuuta for some odd reason#ive been so unbelievanly depressed for the past few months fuck i want to die i want to die so bad#and theres not even like a single reason why. i dont rememver. i cant remember. i cant feel. anything.#i dont wsnt to live right now. can i just. die. and then get brought back to life later when i feel ready again.
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fagutt · 2 years ago
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i am sane and normal and goign to smoke after this post to become even more sane and even more normal
#theres no point to stumbling my way through this and hoping i settle alright on the other side#i ruin everything i put my hands on - im terribly abusive and everyone is too afraid of me retaliating to say anything so theyre silent#i bitch and whine so much about how 'traumatized' i am meanwhile ive ruined the life of anyone thats known me for even a week#where do i get off acting like every 'abusive' situation ive been in Wasnt my fault and or karma for the way i treat others#no wonder im going to die alone! god i fucking deserve it! i chase off anyone good to me by being a toxic piece of shit#and anyone that stays just gets more and more worn down by me until theres nothing left of them and they ahve to leave too#im so tired of being an abusive friend to anyone that knows me i am jsut a terrible leech onto anyone thats ncie to me#i need to kms SOON so i can fucking stop i might [■■■] just bc i think thatd actually Work . n i need to find a place to do it#im realizing its a bit insensitive to do it in my room and my second choice was the park but thats also a bit insensitive so idk anywhere#theres gotta be a hiking trail thats close Enough but still isolated to the point that nobody would stumble on me before planned discovery#and then i can remove a negative impact from the lives of so many#i keep thinkign about burning myself instead of cutting but i liek . dont know Where to do it so i keep putting it off#im so sad i just want to be good and helpful and get loved in return i want to cry into someones chest rn#i am such a bad bad bad dog i deserve everything i get and worse tbh caus clearly my weak ass “”“”trauma“”“” is all made up#good god i need to get over myself and jsut commit already
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fairiily · 4 months ago
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I ALMOST SHIFTED AFTER 4 YEARS THANKS TO SHIFTBLR
i didnt think i would end up posting on this account but im too excited to not say anything about it.
so ive been apart of the shifting community on tiktok for about 4 years, but ive never had any success.
i just downloaded tumblr a couple weeks ago after deciding that shifttok was annoying LOL. i started to look at shifting here and take in some better info. i was focusing more on loa and myself rather than scavenging for some perfect “method” that was going to work.
ive been doing a lot of affirmations with loa and changing my mindset from “ugh this is so hard i cant do it” to “i have everything i want”
something felt different today, before my attempt i just knew i was going to do something and i kept telling myself how easy it is and how in control i am.
i laid down with no method in mind, just trusting my intention. i affirmed and visualized, occasionally drifiting off to sleep but never sleeping. i noticed i wasnt feeling my body much, and really tuned in to keep affirming.
i ended up seeing a bright light and then suddenly i felt like i was rising and falling and spinning all at the same time. i just *felt* something different like i was somewhere else. i kept affirming but the sudden onset of symptoms overwhelmed me bc its NEVER happened before. i ended up opening my eyes and i hadnt shifted, but i literally dont care because ive never been that close before. i just know i was so close and its because i had set intention and just knew how powerful my abilities are!
i realized ive been overcomplicating everything, theres no magic special method to make you shift, theres not one piece of advice that you havent found yet thats holding you back, all you need is you.
basically i love everyone on shiftblr fuck shifttok sorry this was so long
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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 8 months ago
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okay hi just a warning rq my autocorrect is off bc it autocorrected my friend’s name to fuckin malayalam on accident. i dont like autocorrect.
ANYWAY! ive been listening to my lovely olivia rodrigo lately, specifically her new song obsessed. i wanted to know if you could make a fic with Ethan x fem! reader where readers bitchy friend has this ex (Ethan) and she made him out to be a real dick. like, manipulating and everything.
reader eventually meets him and it turns out that she remembers… a lot about him considering her friend is a constant yapper and cant shut up about him. Ethan actually turns out to be a real cutie patootie and could literally never hurt anyone.
a few days later theyd meet again at some club or party maybe where they end up hitting it off… a little too well.. yeah so she ends up in his bed (smut part, very dom ethan plspls 😛😛). they could be talking about something really random and then reader brings up how her friend basically completely lied about him and said he was a piece of shit when he really wasnt. like a realllll fluffy end before a small cliffhanger thats never gonna get finished where her friend ends up finding out and texting her.
so sorry if thats too long or confusing idk but i actually love your work so much im lowkey your #1 fan. 😍😍😍
HELLO! I switched this up a little, I hope that's okay! 💕
Also, I fucking loved the 'leave it on a cliffhanger part that won't get finished' because WHY IS THAT WHAT I DO lmao
Obsessed - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 1
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This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Part 2
Summary: Your friend told you horrible lies about her ex-boyfriend, and once you get to know him, you realize he's not the monster she made him out to be.
Contains: Mentions of a toxic relationship, Dom-ish cocky Ethan, rough-ish sex, oral - f receiving, p in v, fluff (If I missed anything, PLEASE let me know. I'm sleep deprived atm)
A/N: This was the one that pulled me out of my writers block, lmao. It's still not where I want it to be, but I'm TRYING. I'll try to post more this week, but I will be busy so bear with me haha.
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You didn’t know Ethan Landry, but you knew you didn’t like him. He used to date one of your friends, and after hearing all the horrible things he’d said and done during their relationship, you thought he was really scummy.
They dated in high school and couldn’t get enough of each other, so they wanted to go to the same college. They broke up right before freshman year started, and after almost a year, she still talked about him every chance she got. She’d tell you how controlling he was. The things he’d call her when he was mad. How he cheated on her. You couldn’t believe that she stayed in the relationship for as long as she did, because she never had anything good to say, except that she loved him.
You’d seen pictures of him, and after walking into one of your classes at the start of the new semester, you saw him in person for the first time. He was so shy as he took his seat in the lecture hall, some of the girls making their little comments about the rumors they’d heard about him. He didn’t seem like the type that would do the things your friend said, but maybe he was just really good at playing innocent. All you knew was that you needed to keep your distance from him.
When you met up with your friend later that day for lunch, you didn’t know if you wanted to bring up Ethan being in the same class as you, but once she brought him up, you decided to tell her.
“Speaking of Ethan…I saw him today,” you said, before taking a bite of your food. Her face dropped as she looked at you.
“Where did you see him?” she questioned. You explained that you saw him in one of your new classes, and she rolled her eyes. “Can you believe he still tries to text me?”
“What I can’t believe is that you haven’t blocked him,” you said, “I know I’d hate to see someone that treated me like shit’s name pop up on my phone.”
She started to giggle as you curiously stared at her. “I have him saved in my phone as ‘Tall loser with a small dick’, so I laugh every time he does text me.”
“That’s not toxic at all,” you said, as you started to think about what she’d said. “Wait, he treated you as bad as he did and has a small dick? What the fuck were you thinking?”
“All he had going for him was that he was cute,” she said, “But seriously, if I were you, I’d stay away from him.”
“Oh, please. Like I’d even want to be near him.”
Your morning wasn’t going as expected. You slept through all of your alarms; you didn’t have time to stop for coffee. You didn’t think your day could get any worse, until you walked into class and noticed the only empty seat available was beside Ethan. You took a deep breath before you walked over and sat down. Once you reached into your backpack, you realized that your laptop wasn’t there. You were in such a hurry when you ran out of your dorm and didn’t even think to grab it.
“Shit,” you whispered, “I’m so stupid.”
“Here,” Ethan said, passing you a notebook and a pen. You curiously looked at him as he offered a weak smile. “I always keep an extra notebook, just in case.”
“Thanks,” you said, a half-smile playing on your lips.
Once class started, you were taking your notes, but you kept glancing over to Ethan. He was so focused on typing that he didn’t notice, but you couldn’t help but wonder if everything your friend told you was true. At that moment, he didn’t seem like a jerk. Then again, he had only spoken a handful of words to you.
Ethan was aware of all the things that were said about him. He hoped that after a few weeks it all would’ve blown over, but once you have an angry ex-girlfriend paint you as some horrible, emotionally abusive asshole, it’s hard to come back from that. He knew that it was best for him to just keep his head down until he was able to transfer to a different school, where no one knew who he was. He was miserable at Blackmore, and he really had no reason to stick around, aside from the few friends he’d made.
After class was over, you tore the pages of notes you’d taken from the notebook to give it back to Ethan.
“Thanks again,” you said, as you handed it back to him.
“You’re welcome,” he said, shoving it back in his backpack. “I thought about just emailing you my notes, but I didn’t know if you’d want that.”
“You’re telling me I didn’t have to spend the last hour trying to write that fast?” you asked, as he flashed you a sweet, genuine smile. “Why wouldn’t someone want that?”
“I don’t know, maybe it’s because most people here hate me,” he said, sliding the straps of his backpack over his shoulders. “You’ve probably heard things about me.”
“Yeah…are they true?” you asked, as he shook his head.
“You’re the first person that’s asked me that. Everyone else just assumes everything is true,” he sighed, “But no, I’m not a bad person.”
You started to feel so guilty. You’d said plenty of bad things about him, but you only heard one side of the story. With your friends’ story changing so many times, getting more dramatic each time she told it, you were starting to realize that it was all bullshit. You still didn’t know exactly what happened, but you were curious to know what the truth was.
“You okay?” Ethan asked, noticing that you were lost in thought as you stood in front of him.
“I’m friends with your ex,” you said, as his smile slowly fell. “What’s the real story?”
He sat back down in his seat as the other students piled out of the room. You sat beside him as you waited for him to speak.
“I really loved her…but she was just so controlling. Then she cheated on me when she went to the beach with her family. I didn’t find out about that until right before we started college,” he said, looking over to you. “She was pissed that I broke up with her, then all these horrible things about me started going around.”
“That’s fucked up,” you said, as he nodded.
“Yeah, she’s still been trying to text me. I finally blocked her a few days ago.”
“Wait, she said you’ve been trying to text her,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your words.
“Her number’s been deleted from my phone for months. I have no interest in talking to her,” he said, “I know this must be weird for you since you are her friend, but I think it’s cool that you wanted to hear me out.”
“Well, I feel like I need to apologize…I’ve said some things about you that weren’t true.”
“She’s a good liar. She has almost the entire school hating me so it doesn’t surprise me that her friend does, too,” he said, as he stood back up.
“I don’t hate you,” you said, smiling at him. “I don’t know if you’d want to, and I know she’d kill me, but if you ever want to hang out sometime, let me know.”
“I’d like that.”
Ethan was kicking himself for not asking you for your number, or shit, even your social media so he could DM you. He thought you were beautiful, but he knew that hoping for a chance with you would be a reach. He really just needed more people in his life that believed him to make the time he still had at the university more enjoyable.
Your friend begged you to come to a random frat party that you didn’t feel like going to in the first place. After your talk with Ethan, you weren’t even sure you wanted to be around her. You still went, and after searching for her for almost an hour, you checked your phone to see a message from her that she wasn’t coming, and that she ran into one of the guys she’d been hooking up with on the way to the party.
“Why the fuck am I even here?” you said to yourself as you locked your phone and slid it into the back pocket of your jeans.
“Hopefully to hang out with me, if your offer’s still good,” you heard from behind you, recognizing Ethan’s voice.
“Hey,” you said as you turned to face him. “I didn’t expect to see the most hated man on campus here.”
“My roommate told me that if I stayed in my dorm tonight, he’d throw my Xbox out the window,” he said, glancing over to the muscular guy that was watching Ethan talk to you.
“Ah, so you were threatened into being social,” you said, as he started to laugh.
“I guess you could say that. Do you want a drink?”
“Sure.”
Ethan wasn’t much of a drinker; you could tell by the sour look on his face every time he took a sip. It gave him a little confidence though, as the two of you talked and got to know each other a little better.
“I don’t think I can drink this anymore,” he said, sitting the cup down on a table. You sat yours down too, and as soon as you did, someone bumped into you, shoving you into Ethan.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” you said, looking up at him. Your chest was pressed closely against his, his hands on your hips from catching you.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, “You can stay this close to me all night, if you want.”
“Are you always this smooth? Or is it the alcohol?” you questioned as he smirked at you.
“I’m only buzzed,” he said, before he leaned down, placing his lips on yours.
Chad was still watching Ethan from afar, cheering and thrusting his fist in the air once he saw Ethan kiss you. He started to laugh against your lips before he pulled away to stare daggers through his roommate for interrupting the moment.
“I can’t take him anywhere,” Ethan said, as you smiled at him.
“We could go somewhere more private,” you suggested, as he took your hand in his.
“Want to go back to my dorm? He’ll be here for a while so I know we can talk without being interrupted.”
“Sure!”
Once you made it back to Ethan’s dorm, you were starting to think that he really did just want to talk. You enjoyed listening to him, though. He was telling you about all his hobbies and interests, and you were telling him yours. You started to glance around his side of the dorm room, noticing the cliché, dorky things you’d expect to see.
“Nice Star Wars poster, nerd,” you joked, as he smirked at you.
“Oh, I’m a nerd?” he said, as he nudged you back on his bed. He was hovering over you, his mouth inches from yours. The sexual tension got so thick as his eyes looked into yours, his hand rubbing your hip.
“Mhm,” you said, the corner of your bottom lip in between your teeth. “A hot nerd.”
He felt his cheeks start to heat up, and he really didn’t want you to notice, so he leaned down to finally connect his lips to yours. It didn’t take long for the kiss to get more intense, his tongue brushing across your bottom lip. You let him deepen the kiss, his tongue moving with yours as his hands started to roam. You whimpered into the kiss once his hand squeezed your thigh, your hips started to squirm underneath him.
He pulled away but still stayed close so the two of you could catch your breath. You were reading each other’s faces, and it was obvious that you both wanted more.
“How far do you want this to go?” he asked, his breathing still heavy as his eyes looked into yours.
“As far as you want,” you said, your sweet tone making him groan.
“That’s not what I asked you,” he said, as he leaned back down to kiss your neck. His curls were tickling you, but the only reaction you had were the soft moans slipping past your lips from how well his mouth moved. His hips were rutting into yours, showing you how hard he was for you.
“I want you to fuck me,” you said, as he pulled away to look at you.
“You sure?”
“Mhm.”
Ethan was a little, well, very eager. He got you undressed in what felt like seconds, leaving you in just your panties. Once he stripped down to just his boxers, you got a little curious. You glanced down to see his hard cock straining against the fabric, and started to laugh to yourself, your gaze going to the ceiling.
“What’s funny?” he asked, as he hovered back over you to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Your laughing stopped, a gasp slipping out when he started to suck. “I asked you a question,” he teased, before moving to the other side.
“She really does lie about everything,” you said, as his tongue swirled. “She said you had a small dick.”
He started to laugh against you, before he pulled back. “That’s funny, because she couldn’t take it.”
“I can,” you said, his smile turning to a smirk as his hand trailed down your body to rub you over your panties.
“We’ll see about that,” he said, as he moved lower down the bed to position himself between your thighs.
He slid your panties down your legs, before running his fingers over your wet pussy. Your eyes stayed on him, your bottom lip in between your teeth as he teased you. Your anticipation just kept building as he moved down the bed, positioning himself in between your thighs. He leaned in, slipping his tongue inside your entrance.
He was sloppily eating you out, his head moving from side to side. His arms hooked under your thighs to pull you as close to his face as he could as your hands went to his hair.
“So good,” you whimpered, your breathing getting faster as he worked you closer to your orgasm.
He slid his tongue out of you to focus on your clit, quickly replacing it with two of his fingers. Your back was arching off the bed as he moved his arm back and forth, applying as much pressure as he could to that spongy spot inside you as he sucked on your swollen bundle of nerves.
“You’re gonna make me cum,” you babbled, as he started to chuckle with your clit in his mouth.
That was all it took for your legs to start shaking and your grip on his hair getting even tighter. Once your pussy started to clench around him, he slowed his fingers to a slow roll, not wanting to overstimulate you. His tongue gently licked your clit as he worked you through it, your whimpers getting softer as you came down from your high.
“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you admitted through your shaky breathing. Ethan started to laugh a little as you looked at him, your eyes hazy. “What?”
“Just wait until I’m inside you,” he cockily said, “You still confident that you can handle it?”
“I know I can,” you said, your legs instinctively spreading wide for him as his fingertips ran up your thigh.
“What are you going to do when no one else can make you feel as good as I do?” he questioned, as one of his fingers started to rub circles on your clit.
“I guess I’d have to keep you around then,” you said, as he shook his head.
“You’d only have me until summer starts,” he said, his finger moving faster. “I’m transferring to a different school after this year.”
“No, you’re not..fuck. I’ll convince you to stay,” you said, relaxing into the bed as he teased you.
Ethan pulled his hand away from your pussy before he slid his boxers off. He crawled back on top of you and reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom.
“I might let you convince me,” he said, as he lined up with your entrance. You tensed up a little because you knew how big he was. “Relax, baby.”
You did as he said, taking a deep breath as he inched his way inside of you. You were moaning as he stretched you out, and when you thought he was all the way in, he just kept going.
“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, feeling so full as he finally came to a stop, wanting to give you plenty of time to adjust. “Told you..Fuck, I told you I could take it,” you said, already struggling to speak.
“Don’t get cocky,” he said, your mouth falling open as he started to move. “I’m going to ruin this pussy.”
“Ruin it,” you said, challenging him as your lusty, hooded eyes connected with his.
It took everything in Ethan to not immediately start pounding into you, but he didn’t want to hurt you. He started slow, your eyebrows already furrowing together, low moans slipping past your lips. The head of his cock hit that special spot every single time, but you needed more. He sped up a little as your legs wrapped around him, your hands gripped tightly around his biceps.
“Maybe you can take it,” he said, his breathing getting heavier. “Can I go faster?”
“Yes,” you whimpered, as his hips moved quicker.
Your brain was starting to turn to mush, the babbles slipping past your lips making absolutely no sense. The only thing your mind could process in that moment was how good Ethan was making you feel. He thought you were adorable, already so cock drunk, and he wasn’t even close to being done with you yet. He kept his pace, but occasionally thrust a little harder to see if you could take it, the loud moans slipping past your lips as your nails started to dig into his arms letting him know that you could.
He angled your hips to go even deeper. His pace was a little slow as he made sure you were okay. Your eyes were pleading with him to go faster, because you knew the words weren’t going to come out of your mouth. It was getting so hard for him to hold back, so he finally let go. He started to pound into you so hard that your skin was tingling, all the nerves in your body on edge. Your toes were curling as he slammed into your g-spot, your whimpers turning to cries as you felt your orgasm starting to build. It was hard for you to keep your eyes open, and you were sure Ethan was going to have your nail marks on his arms forever with how hard you were squeezing him.
“Fuck,” was the only word you were able to get out, your legs wrapping tightly around him as your body started to involuntarily jolt. Ethan was sure that everyone in the surrounding dorm rooms knew what was happening, because you were being so loud. He wasn’t letting up though. He loved that he was making you feel that good.
It only took a few more deep thrusts before your entire body started to tremble, loud whines flooding out of your mouth as the wave of euphoria washed over you. He chased his own orgasm as he fucked you through it, your pussy clenching him so tight that he was moaning himself.
“I’m almost there, baby,” he said, a slight rasp in his voice from all the panting he’d been doing.
You went limp, your grip on his arms and your legs around his waist relaxing as his hips started to falter, a loud groan slipping past his lips as he released into the condom.
He took a minute to catch his breath before he slid out of you. His abs were burning and his arms were sore from your nails, but he quickly got up to take the condom off so he could take care of you.
He crawled in the bed next to you as you adjusted to lay your head on his chest, still so fucked out that it was hard to process your thoughts. Ethan just held you close, his hands softly rubbing over your bare back as you relaxed into his touches.
“You’re okay, right?” he asked, after a few minutes of you not saying anything. You lazily nodded as your hand moved to rub across his chest.
You laid there in silence as you started to think about what’d just happened. You knew your friend was going to be pissed if she ever found out, but did that even matter? She made almost the entire university hate Ethan for things he never did, and it made you sad that he felt like he needed to switch to a different school so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.
“So…” you finally said, “How can I convince you to stay?”
He let out a nervous laugh, not knowing the best way to respond. “I can’t take people talking about me the way they do anymore.”
“Even if I convince everyone that it was all lies?” you questioned, your tone playful as you angled your head to look at him. “I think it’d be awful for you to leave because of her. You could miss out on someone that would treat you right.”
“Someone like you?” he questioned as he looked down at you. You nodded, before he leaned down to kiss you. “You’re good at this whole convincing thing.”
“Does that mean you’ll stay?” you asked, smiling as you sat up to look at him.
“Yeah, as long as you don’t break my heart,” he said, wrapping his arms around you to pull you back down to his chest.
“I won’t.”
You stayed in Ethan’s bed for a couple hours, making plans for all the dates he wanted to take you on. It felt like you’d known him for way longer than just a few days, the two of you having an instant connection. You hated to pull away from him, but you knew you needed to get dressed before his roommate got home.
“It’s late, can I walk you back to your dorm?” he asked, as he started to put his clothes back on.
“I can’t believe I thought you were this horrible monster. You’re so sweet,” you said, as he smiled at you. “Yeah, you can walk me home.”
Ethan walked you to the front door of your building, pulling you into a gentle kiss before he pulled away.
“I’ll text you,” he said, as he started to back away.
“Yeah, let me know when you make it back to your dorm, please,” you said, as he nodded.
When you made it upstairs and got settled into your bed, you heard your phone vibrate as it charged on your bedside table. You grabbed it and saw a goodnight message from Ethan, a huge smile on your face as you responded to him. You were so exhausted from the time you’d spend with him, and you soon felt yourself start to doze off. You heard your phone buzz again, your eyes lazily opening to see if it was Ethan. You took a deep breath once you read the message that was sent to you.
‘Why the fuck were you kissing Ethan at that party?’
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agaypanic · 1 year ago
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Could you write Reese x reader who has similar style to him but like the girl version? like he sees at her school wearing maybe a tight shirt with baggy cargos and he LOOSES it n NEEDS to talk to her. Thanks so much 🩵
I Like Your Style (Reese Wilkerson X Reader)
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Summary: For spirit week, you convince Reese to participate in twin day with you. Feelings arise when he sees your outfit.
A/N: the ending’s so bad bc i had no idea how to finish this, ive been having such a writers block lately. made them friends instead of strangers, hope that’s ok lol also modern au bc they have cellphones
***
“Please.”
“No.”
“Please.”
“No.”
“Please, Reese!” You whined, following your friend around his house. 
“Spirit week is stupid! There’s no way I’m participating in that.” He shook his head at the idea, opening his fridge to find something to make for a snack. “Never have, never will. How do you feel about peanut butter and jelly?”
“Yeah, I’m good with that.” You answered, going around to sit at the counter he was making sandwiches on so you could be face to face. “Just one of the days, Reese. That’s all I ask.”
Reese didn’t answer until he had finished making both your sandwiches. He put your plate in front of you and took a bite of his food, mulling everything over.
“Which day?” 
“Tuesday.” You answered immediately. You knew it was the only day Reese would consider saying yes to because of how simple it was. “It’s Twin Day, so you wouldn’t even have to really dress up. You just gotta tell me what you’re wearing so I can match. Or we can go to the mall or something.”
“We’re both broke; there’s no way we can buy whole new outfits.” You snorted. Sadly, that was true. 
“So, will you do it?”
“Fine.” He said it somewhat reluctantly, but you still clapped with glee at the answer.
“Yay! Just tell me what you’re gonna wear, and I’ll try to find something like it. But just make sure you tell me in advance.” You finished your sandwich, slowly looking up at your friend with pleading eyes. “Can I have another?” Reese wordlessly took your plate, preparing another sandwich for you.
***
On Sunday night, you were lying in bed when your phone buzzed next to your head. You squinted from the brightness and saw a message from Reese.
Reese: how’s this?
Attached was a picture of him standing in the mirror. The outfit was pretty basic, just some baggy cargo and a semi-tight long sleeve. You mentally went through your closet, trying to put together an outfit of your own.
Y/n: that works!
Y/n: see you tuesday twin lol
Reese: already regretting this
Y/n: booooo
You shut your phone off, rolled out of bed, and went to your closet. With Reese’s outfit fresh in your mind, you picked out some pieces that would match well. 
Setting everything aside, you wondered what to do with your hair. Reese had frosted tips, a good look on him. But you didn’t feel like bleaching your hair; you didn’t have that much school spirit. Deciding you’d figure it out tomorrow, you got back into bed and quickly dozed off.
***
When Reese entered the quad on Tuesday, he tried looking for you. But you weren’t in any of your regular hangout spots. Assuming you were running late, he shrugged and found a place to sit down.
A few minutes passed when Reese felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see you with a wide grin plastered on your face.
“Hey! I would’ve gotten here sooner, but these fake highlights were a bitch to clip in.” You rounded the bench your friend was sitting on so you were standing before him. “What do you think?”
Reese gulped as he took in your appearance. Just like him, you were wearing a tight shirt and baggy cargo pants that hung around your hips. The only difference with your outfits was that you tucked your shirt into your pants, accentuating your figure. A figure that Reese was now thinking about in a way that most friends wouldn’t.
The clip-in highlights you were talking about almost made him laugh. To mimic the frosted tips Reese sported, you bought some platinum blonde extension clips from Lucky Aide and scattered them throughout your hair. It was honestly a bit flattering that you had taken the time to try to mirror his appearance.
“You look…” Reese gave you one last look over before looking you in the eyes. “You look good.”
“Why, thank you.” You fished around in one of the deep pockets of your pants for your phone. “Okay, now stand up. I want a picture.” Immediately, Reese shook his head.
“That wasn’t part of the deal.”
“It is now.” You grabbed Reese’s hand and pulled him up, which he easily could’ve fought against. But you just seemed so excited; he complied when you asked him to pose for the camera. Reese even pulled you closer to him by the waist so both of you were in the frame.
“You should start dressing more like this.” He commented while you snapped a few pictures.
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, you look hot.” 
You laughed, looking through all your pictures to find a good one to post later.
“You don’t look too bad yourself, Reese.” The boy looked at your phone to see the sweet smile on your face as you leaned into him in the pictures.
Yeah, the feelings swirling inside of Reese were definitely becoming less and less platonic.
***
Malcolm in the Middle Taglist: @rattilol
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onlyjaeyun · 7 months ago
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i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.
you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.
the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?
idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.
thank you for the feedback!
i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?
now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright
on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense
now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.
and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.
yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨
if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.
as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"
i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine
do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this
if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr
oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)
and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters
goodbye
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autisticlancemcclain · 2 years ago
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fic rec friday 6
welcome the the sixth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.
1. Chapped Lips by Creatortan
Lance's lips were a distraction, sometimes. Keith just couldn't keep his eyes off of them.
i read this one and forget to bookmark it and it haunted my mind for WEEKS as i desperately tried to find it again. i went bonkers bc i wanted to reread it so bad, bc it is EXCELLENT. its fun and gay and the team as family dynamics are AMAZING, no team bashing here!! and as usual the pining was chefs kiss.
2. Mine by Anonymous [EXPLICIT, ABO]
How do Lance and Keith react when the other is kidnapped?
Keith goes feral. Lance becomes deadly.
yeah, yeah, i know. another omegaverse. absolutely feel free to avoid this one if it’s not ur thing, i know it’s not for everyone, but it was one of my first pieces of bamf unhinged lance and i refuse to be ashamed of liking it lmao. also i think it’s fair to say that this fic inspired my unhinged batshit lance fic, at least a little. give it a try if ur like me an abo is a guilty pleasure lmao
3. the way i love you by @taylortot
quiet moments in which keith and lance fall in love. and kiss a lot. post s7.
words cannot explain how much this series means to me. genuinely a series that is so poetically soft and loving that it makes tears well in your eyes. i started reading this series right when i turned 16, and idk it truly made something crack in fizzle in my brain, it made me realise how careful and choosing love is. i have read this series more times than i can count, definitely one of the top ten, and there are lines from this fic that i repeat to myself when i am looking for hope. i know it hasn’t been touched since 2020 but i will be watching it carefully and hoping for years to come. (my favourite, in the series, although it was hard to choose, is i want to kiss you there)
4. Read Label: Lance McClain’s Boyfriend by @bleusarcelle
“You know I’m not ashamed, right?” Lance meets his gaze sheepishly. “Like, I’m not ashamed of you, of us. Far from it, babe, I swear –”
“Lance,” Keith cuts in kindly, smiling warmly at the teen in his arms. “Believe me, I know but I do want to tell the world what you mean to me. I wanna start with our team, our family.”
“You should come with a warning,” Lance whispers, stroking Keith’s chin fondly as he drops his voice. “Caution: words that leave these lips may cause falling deeper in love. Thank you for shopping at Mullets4sales.com.”
Keith throws his head back as he shakes with laughter. Lance grins proudly at sound before he props himself on the bed and drops unceremoniously on top of his giggling boyfriend’s chest.
“But yeah, yes; let’s tell them after dinner.”
[Or the one where the team is on their way back home and stop on a planet where a pissy prince drugs Keith with a love potion and Lance has to endure watching his secret boyfriend being lovestruck on someone else that isn't him.]
bleusarcelle always has and always will be one of the core founders of this fandom fr. trust me when i tell u their work was THE work. i remember greedily reading every fic of theirs several time, and i still read several of them regularly. but i will always be a sucker for the secret relationship trope. and this one managed to have that trope with none of the team bashing or miscommunication garbage so it’s a banger from the get-go fr
5. When Moonlight Touches Us by @pmwrites-blog1
Branches scratched his cheeks as he ran through the woods. Out of breath and covered in mud, Lance eventually crawled back under the fence onto the school grounds. He stopped at the large fountain in the plaza, leaning heavily on it. He splashed his face to wake himself up.
It didn’t work. Keith was real.
-
Based on 214b's Gargoyle AU
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE VOLTRON FIC OF ALL TIME. i dont know why. i have no idea why ive latched onto this fic so specifcally, what about this fic just makes me want to reread it again and again, but if i could print this aand bind it and keep a hardcopy with me every day of my life i would. im obsessed with it. beauty and the beast who?? like this fic is everything to me. i cannot recommend it enough. im fully convinced this fic did something fundamental to my brain. nothing i write will ever be so dear to me as this fic and that’s literally okay. the stars aligned to make this fic possible. is it the fact that i know there’s pretzellus art for it and so the whole story was cemented into my brain? possibly. i truly do not know. but i am fully obsessed with this story and likely will be for infinity
that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  
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rpfisfine · 10 months ago
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hello!! it's idat twt video anon back from the dead (I'm terrible at maintaining conversation)
I wanna thank you again for being a hub for our collective insanity, I've been scrolling through your blog lookin at what boyboy deep cuts I've missed and oh BOY the oil video is quite something. and I feel like I should share /my/ deepcut that I found even though it's nowhere near the same genre as the other stuff but a fellow man of culture (aleksa enjoyer) will appreciate it I think
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7s9nvk
so I watch idats one man band video maybe every week because one man band aleksa has such a grip on the creases of my brain folds, and one day I was lightly searching, perusing if you will, to see if he's done more music stuff and I found this gem courtesy of dailymotion user HankSydney. about half an hour of Aleksa singing what I assume is Serbian folk and honestly what a treat. none of us have ever done even close to what would be enough to deserve this. wonderful
(im gonna ask if I can give myself one of those anon ID emojis until I can figure out whether to ~unmask~ (come off anon), I propose 🌵)
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HELP ME... you're all completely welcome i myself have been made aware of SO many deep cuts i wouldve legitimately never found out abt on my own thanks to you guys!!!! the oil video is...... lets just say that i saw the greatest minds of my generation destroyed by boy boy oil video.
ohhhhhhh my god im gonna go crazy..... yeah ive known abt his appearance at the serbian festival in sydney for a while now but for some reason ive been putting it off the entire time bc i knew itd obliterate me in a completely different way than any video of him & alex borderline touching penises ever could so thank you for finally forcing me to check it out!!! ive just done the kubrick stare at my monitor for about thirty minutes like im honestly speechless hes SO...... his singing voice is SOOOOOO much deeper than his speaking one and the way he sings is so soulful and emotional you can rly tell how truly passionate he is abt music thats so fucking crazy... plus all of the songs are sooo beautiful im definitely gonna go back with shazam in hand and try to find all of their names like its just that dire for me rn. save me serbian folk music
i need to share this clip at least bc this part fucking gagged me to PIECES... im trying my hardest to be normal but hes sooo charismatic & confident and such a great performer plus he works the crowd rly well...... also every time he looks up after pausing the looper his eyes r so like.. electrifying i need to be sedated i think. tldr hes soooooooo talented & funny & good at what he does twirling my hair hiiiiii aleksa. aleksa heeeyyyy hiii aleksa<33333 if you read this im free on thursday night we could hang out on thursday night when i am free please respond to this im free on thursday night
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outermaybanks · 5 months ago
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Out of the Woods - ch 7
a/n: definitely a fluff piece, might post another chapter this week bc ive editted up to juicy bits and i just want to get there with it lmao
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The next morning, we were testing out the underwater drone. Me and Kie were under the water while the boys watched from above, when we came up they said it worked perfect, now we just had to wait for the right weather.
JJ went to work a shift with Pope, so in the meantime, John B was outside mowing while me and Kie were inside, I was cleaning the dishes as a thanks to John B for letting me stay here.
“Y’know… JJ seemed… a little jealous yesterday.” Kie spoke up from where she sat on the counter. “What? Kie, c’mon.” “No, I’m serious. First when I made that joke about you and Pope, and then when you were flirting with the security guard…”
I was silent for a moment. “What did he say when I was flirting with the security guard?” Kie shrugged as she dried a dish. “Just seemed bothered.”
I put the rag down, and went into the fridge to grab a beer, grabbing one for Kie. “I don’t know how much more I can take, Kie. Lately it’s like… anytime he’s close to me my whole body is on fire.” “I really think you should just… tell him. He’s chill.” “No… I can’t do that. ‘Hey, JJ, I know we’ve been friends since we were like, 8, but I’ve had a huge crush on you for the past four years, and I know you don’t feel the same way but I hope this doesn’t ruin things!’” “You don’t know that he doesn’t feel the same.” I rolled my eyes. “Kie, it’s JJ. If he liked me, he would have made a move on me by now.”
Kiara rolled her eyes before taking a drink of her beer. “C’mon. You need to get your mind off him and catch some waves.” She grabbed my hand before hopping down, and we both ran outside to tell John B. The three of us loaded our boards into the twinkie and drove out to the beachfront. 
I wished surfing would make me forget about JJ, but my brain would flashback against my will, to when he was teaching me how to. But, one thing did take my mind off it, and that was seeing John B and Kie having a serious talk alone. It always kind of seemed like she liked him, but she was much more secretive about it. 
I was paddling out when I heard the familiar voice. “You got this, bugs, come on! Save some waves for the rest of us.” I turned my head to see JJ and Pope running into the water, and smiled to myself. Moments like this reminded me what the torture was for, to maintain this, our little family.
After the sun went down, we returned to the Chateau, me and JJ in the hammock while he rolled a blunt and the others sat around the fire pit having their own conversation. 
“So, where’d you learn to surf like that? Oh, right.” JJ said with a smirk as he brought the blunt to his lips and inhaled. “Where’d you learn to skateboard? Oh, right.” I mocked.
“Alright, alright.” JJ said, holding his arms open for me to lay next to him, so I did, then he handed me the blunt. I took a hit then handed it back to him, laying my head on his chest to watch the horizon. “It’s so beautiful…”
“I bet it’ll be even more beautiful on the Kook side.” JJ said softly, bringing the blunt to my lips for me. I inhaled then pulled back, sucking the smoke in. JJ was looking out at the water, and I took a moment to admire him.
-
The next morning, it was time to take the drone out. Kie was in charge of lowering the drone, Pope watched the screen while JJ drove the boat and John B looked at the coordinates tracker. Pope let out a gasp, but quickly said it was nothing. But then, a storm started coming in, and JJ had to work harder to get the boat where it needed to be.
“JJ, keep going.” John B called. “He said 20 seconds south.” I reminded him. “I heard him. My job is to drive, yours is to stand there and look pretty.” JJ replied.
I rolled my eyes, and stuck my head out; a storm was rolling in. 
“JJ…” I said worriedly. “I got it, bugs, just hold on tight.” 
Kie ran out of tether, and John B called to JJ to stop moving, and I heard Pope say “Holy shit” “What? What is it?” I called. “It’s the Royal Merchant, we found it.” John B replied.
Only, we didn’t see any gold. We adjusted the drone and the boat numerous times, nothing.
“It’s not there… just pull the drone up.” John B relented. “We can do another pass, recharge the battery. We can go back down.” Pope tried. “We’ve done it three times. There’s nothing there.” JJ said. “Shut up!” Kie shouted. “What? It’s true!” “The gold could be buried, we don’t know.” “If it was here it would’ve been found on the metal detector, okay? Somebody beat us to it.” John B said. “Or it was never there…” JJ mumbled and I bumped his arm. “Not helpful, JJ.” JJ just rolled his eyes. 
John B dropped off Kie, and then Pope, and JJ asked to be dropped off. 
“You comin’, bugs?” JJ asked once the boat pulled up by the dock near his house. “What’s on the agenda?” I asked.  “Target practice. If you’re gonna be my backup, you gotta know how to shoot.” JJ said, holding his hand out for me. I took it and let him help me get on the dock. “Any word from your mom?” JJ asked as we walked towards his house. “Nope. I don’t think I’ve been on her radar for a long time. Theodore wants me gone, thinks I’m gonna get pregnant and stuck here like mom did.”
JJ suddenly stopped walking. “Hold on- is that why you never bag any tourons? ‘Cause you’re scared you’ll end up like your mom?” “I thought this was target practice, not a therapy session. C’mon,” I said, and we continued walking in silence. 
Once we got to his house, he went inside and got a teddy bear, placing it on a post. “You seriously want me to shoot a teddy bear?” “You want to practice or not?” JJ countered. “Okay, these go on your ears.” He handed me a pair of headphones.  “What about you?” I asked. “I’ll be fine. Where’s your gun?” 
I pulled it out of the back of my waistband. JJ quickly stepped over to show me how to check the ammo, and turn the safety off.
“Good, now slowly raise it to eye level.” I took a deep breath and held the gun up.  “Aim.” I nodded, putting the bear in my sight. “Fire.” I grimaced before I pulled the trigger, putting a small hole in the teddy bear’s face. “I did it!”
“You did it!” JJ cheered, wrapping his arms around me in a celebratory hug, lifting me off the ground. “That’s my girl!” “JJ!” A voice called, making both of us freeze, JJ put me back down as Pope came into sight. “They know.” “What?” I questioned, looking up at JJ. JJ looked from me to Pope, “Alright, chill, bro. Alright? They don’t know shit.” “Who doesn’t know what?” I tried again. “Topper knows I sunk his boat…” Pope confessed. “What?!” I shouted. “How do you know they know?” JJ questioned. “Because Rafe and Topper posted outside of Heyward’s and mad dogged me.” “Will you calm down and get a grip, man? They don’t know shit.” JJ tried to calm Pope. “They don’t give scholarships to kids who vengefully sink boats.” Pope panicked. “Why did we sink a boat?” I questioned. “Pope sank Topper’s boat because Topper and Rafe jumped him,” JJ explained. “Caved his face in.” I turned to Pope. “You let JJ talk you into sinking a 200k boat?”  “They hit us first, so we hit back. Rules of the jungle man.”
“But Pope has a scholarship! He can get out of here!” I scolded. JJ rolled his eyes at me, turning away. “Look, I’m not saying those assholes didn’t deserve it, I’m saying we need to be smarter. You should have sent me in, I have nothing to lose.”
JJ sighed and turned back to Pope. “Look, they don’t know shit. If any Kooks come up to you and ask if you had anything to do with it, you walk up to ‘em, look ‘em right in the eye, and…”
“Deny the living shit out of it,” Pope answered. “That’s right! Deny, deny, deny. But just for safety, we don’t go anywhere without protection,” JJ said, pointing to the gun. “You’re gonna bring it to movie night?” I questioned. “Whatever it takes,” JJ answered. “Speaking of, we should go meet Kie.”
The three of us walked to meet Kie in Figure Eight, where they hosted OBX movie night, and then the four of us walked to the park together. Kie went to get us drinks, while Pope began panicking about being in Kook territory. 
I started laying out the blanket for us to sit on. 
“Hey, Junie… would you really sink a boat if I asked you to?” Pope asked.
"Is that even a question? I’d sink a boat for any of you guys. Especially for what they did to you,” I answered, earning a smile from Pope. JJ rolled his eyes again, his jaw tensing. He was on edge, I recognized the look on his face. 
Kie came back, handing me a can of sprite. “Just saw Rafe, and he said, and I quote, ‘tell your boy that we know what he did.’ What is that?” 
Pope looked to JJ with a terrified look on his face.”Where is he?” JJ asked, and Kie nudged behind her. We all looked to see Kelce, Topper and Rafe staring at us.
“Great, the whole death squad,” Pope mumbled. JJ forcibly turned his head around. “Don’t stare, bro.” Rafe winked at me and Topper gave a little wave, making me roll my eyes before I turned back around. “I’m just warning you, if they corner me, I’m coming out swinging, okay? Slice and dicin’ I’m on edge right now,” JJ said. “If that doesn’t work, I got this right here.” JJ held up his bag. “I’m sorry, JJ, please tell me you did not bring a gun here,” Kie whispered angrily. “JJ, there are kids!” “No! Kie, I didn’t bring the gun, everything’s fine, okay?” JJ replied, obviously annoyed. “Wow, thank you, that’s really convincing. I love that, JJ.” JJ looked to me, then away from all of us.
“Founding principle, you guys. No secrets among Pogues. What is Rafe talking about?” “Wow, no secrets? Alright.” JJ chuckled, his jaw tensed and he wet his lips, getting more and more frustrated. I reached up to put my hand on his thigh. “Hey, hey, you got your backup right here,” I whispered. JJ bit his lip, but then put his hand over mine.
The movie started. Usually I don't like black and white films, but after over two weeks without internet, I was entranced. About halfway through, Pope told JJ he needed to use the bathroom, but the Kooks were guarding it, so JJ took Pope somewhere else.
“Where y’all going?” Kie asked in a whisper. “We gotta wring it out,” JJ answered. “You’re gonna hold it for each other?” Kie questioned but the two boys walked away. “June, what’s going on?” Kie whispered.
I sighed. “Look, Topper and Rafe fucked up Pope during a delivery, and him and JJ got a little payback. Topper deserved it.” Kie gave me a worried look as we saw Topper, Rafe and Kelce walk in the direction JJ and Pope had gone. “Fuck,” I whispered before hopping up, grabbing the bag and slowly following behind them, to avoid suspicion. Kie was right behind me. 
When we got behind the screen, they were already fighting, Kelce holding JJ down while Rafe punched him, and Topper and Pope exchanging swings.
“I get Pope, you get JJ?” Kie suggested, and we both ran to help our boys. I jumped on Rafe’s back, which got him away from JJ, but he started grabbing at me, pulling my hair, trying to get me off him. Kie was forcing herself between Topper and Pope with little luck. 
Rafe bent forward, grabbed and pulled, flipping me off him. I landed on my back with a thud.  “Don’t touch her!” JJ’s voice shouted before Kelce’s fist hit his face.  “JJ!” I called, grabbing the bag but Rafe grabbed it and threw it out of reach, before he kicked me in the stomach.  “Pogue piece of shit!” Rafe shouted before kicking me again. He wound up to do it again, but this time I grabbed his foot, making him fall. He was bigger than me, I had to be smart. I quickly climbed on top of him, using my knee to pin one of his hands before I punched his face, again and again and again. 
The screen catching fire finally made Topper let go of Pope, and Kelce let go of JJ. A pair of arms wrapped around me, pulling me off of Rafe and dragging me away. The four of us ran back, all the way to the Chateau, John B was still on his information vacation. “Here-” JJ said softly, putting a pack of ice on my hand which had become badly bruised. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more help… Kie, that was genius”! I said, and she beamed with pride, holding up her beer. “Are you okay?” JJ asked, standing between my legs as I sat on the counter. “I’m fine, J. Just a little kick to the stomach.” “You were badass. You rode that motherfucker like a jockey on a horse!”  I cringed. “Please don’t ever say I rode Rafe again.” JJ chuckled, and I smiled, before grabbing the first aid kit from the table, Kie had been using it on Pope. "You know you got a split lip, right?" I asked, biting my bottom lip. "You know you got a black eye, right?" JJ countered, making me giggle. "Shut up and sit down, dork."
JJ sat on a chair at the table, I pulled one to face him before sitting down, putting disinfectant on a cotton swab. I kept my eyes on my hands, but I could feel JJ's staring at me. I tried not to think about it too much before cleaning his lip.
“I call John B’s room,” Kie called, hopping off the counter and running off. “I call spare bedroom,” Pope joined, running towards the spare bedroom. “Guess that leaves us,” JJ said softly. “Guess so. Are you gonna try and smother me in my sleep again?” “Probably.” I giggled and followed after him towards the couch.
��outermaybanks 2024 taglist: @lilliebellee
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pawbeanies · 10 months ago
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this is a formal request to tell us all about your isopods they r black _ yellow spotted!!!??? what's their enclosure like?? how long have you had them? do any have names? the masses must know...
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fool you hath opened the isopod lore gates. woe be upon you.
JFJSJDKS NO BUT HI HI HI grabbing you hi hihi hihi hi hi hi fhank you for asking ... the Bug Lore isn't really that interesting but !!
(i realized i was rambling abt bugs. readmore be upon ye
they r little black and yellow spotted fuckers (scientific name) and they live in a little terrarium made out of a coffee pot!! like if you can imagine those coffee pots that come with drip coffee machines but full of dirt and moss and bugs. i haven't had them for too long like?? maybe a week but they are already so important to me and i love them and check in on them every day
since i've only had them for a little bit though they're still shy and i haven't had the chance to name them all fksjfkd but there are roughly like. ten of them... once they get used to me and i can see them all i will give them silly names. as of right now theres like one big one i am calling bok choy bc it likes it i guess but also i have only fed them bok choy (i like to regrow it from cuttings but w/ bok choy it will like Bolt (start growing flowers) so you have to pinch off the flowers and ive been feeding those+little leaves to them) so i think that's like. a moot point like we dont name all babies milk because thats the first thing they eat and they like it? i will revisit names later but they're probably going to all be veggie themed
but also i got them at likw. like ok so i wasn't expecting to be a Bug Father i went to an antique/vintage fest for my state But they also had artists and stuff there and there was a guy who made terrariums and like. i love plants (i have 3 plants living in the office i work at alone but i have More at home) and ive always wanted to build terrariums but i never got into it bc they seem so much more like Labor Intensive BUT this guy had like. cool terrariums and i was like "hey can i get that coffee pot one" because i 1. love coffee so much and 2. love plants and he was like "oh btw theres isopods in there. heres a care sheet and just like drop a piece of carrot in there once a week" and like. i was not sure if i was ready for fatherhood but like he was a local artist guy (support local artist guys!!!) and also i was w/ my friends and didnt want to hold us up bc i would've agonized over it for a while so i was like Yeah Thats Ok :) (but like in a way that would make anyone be like "r u sure?") so i ended up going home w a coffee pot full of dirt and bugs on like. a funny impulse purchase type thing. i barely even got any fun vintage things aside from like tje worlds scratchiest sweater but i Did get bugs and also we went out for pho afterwards which is like. best weekend ever really (i am lame)
ne way here is a video of one of my guys and a big fickass thing of bok choy bc i went on abt bugs and vegetables and vintage things without actually answering ur questions i think. woe bugs be upon ye
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hyenagurl · 10 months ago
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This sounds mean but is coming from a well-meaning place: why are you upset about that moid coworker. So he was nice to you, until you come to work with hickeys (kinda trashy but we’ll let it slide) and now he’s a dick. So he’s nice until he is shown evidence you had a romantic encounter with someone else. This moid is the equivalent of “add nice tokens until sex comes out.” The fact he switched up so fast the second he thought you fucked someone else ⁉️ He was never a nice guy, he never liked you, he wanted to smash and that’s it. He doesn’t see you as a person, he sees you as something to be used and discarded- once he saw someone “used” it first, he moved directly to discarding. Use your head babe, he showed his true colors. xx luv ya
no no youre right but 😭 well it just sucks to have someone show their colors like this. part of what hurts is that it really was night and day, like a complete 180, and nobody notices but me and insists its just bc he got dumped when this started happening well before that…
ive been keeping my eye on him too. hes friendly with everyone. it feels like hes going out of his way to chat everyone up - and then when im talking to someone nearby he does his best to look away. yesterday i did something bad mannered without thinking about it (tore open a packet of aspirin, spat out a piece of it😭) and he came over and was like “why would you do that, that was disgusting and inappropriate.” he has never lectured me like that. and it was the first time he spoke to me in like days. i thought he was joking!
but that was not the worst. today it came to a head, i saw him smirking and i snapped. i asked to speak to him privately (after him initially ignoring me, with an “i guess… 🙄”) and we went to the back. he kept working while i was trying to speak to him, and when i moved in front of him, he could barely even look me in the eye and he had this big dumb nervous grin on his face, and kept laughing like “haha whats the problem? 😅” granted i kept him off guard and i honestly hadnt meant to, but still. i couldnt believe how rude he was being, even if he was nervous. he used to be so courteous!
i was angry and fighting back tears bc i would literally rather die than cry in front of a man like that, so i kept my voice as calm as i could be and was like “whats going on? i understand youre going through something hard rn, but it feels like somethings wrong between us and idk why.” he brushed it off again, still laughing and smiling, and i said “well youve been acting differently for weeks, and you only speak to me now just to lecture me.” he rambled some more bullshit, like “idk sometimes i just dont have anything to say.”
yeah, right. if theres not a problem, then who just has nothing to say to someone in a matter of a DAY?
i couldnt do anything with that and i was pretty upset, so i just told him id be here when he was ready to talk and made sure to stay away from him. then after weeping in the group chat, i was a huge mess, and then my other (male) but honestly sweet coworker saw and figured out what happened and comforted me..
okay so yeah. this is whats so upsetting. its not so much i miss our flirty dynamic - its that a coworker is pulling psychological petty high school bullshit over seemingly nothing - or worse, you and i are right, and hes icing me out for having a sex life! i feel like im going nuts!!!!
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bitchfitch · 1 year ago
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It is time to finally get around to watching the Simone Giertz stained glass robot video,
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and I am already much more optimistic about it than I was in the E+K one, Shes actually gotten into the craft and is doing this because it's two things she already likes. But Also. I am so jealous of her rn, that shop is Massive and Gorgeous. Like, I love the stained glass workbench, but if that place is a candy store, This one is willy Wonka's factory.
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She's got a Proper grinder, and an aftermarket bit I'm legit jealous of, I need to get one of these things, it would make the little curves So much easier.
Her plan is to trace the chassis pieces of an already existent robot arm to re make it in glass. We haven't seen the arm in motion yet but I think that means these pieces shouldn't be taking any significant loads. They are going to be a lot heavier than the original pieces tho and the arm is one of those dinky toy ones so tbh, rn I suspect it's motor is going to be the week link in this. Ma'am knows what she's doing on both fronts and seems to be the only big name YouTuber to Actually give a shit about the craft instead of just using it for click bait.
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I just really like the color grading in these shots. And also how good of a dog scraps is. Ive never met a dog I'd let anywhere near my sg stuff out of like, a concern for their safety but Scraps is being totally chill (It's ok to do most SG stuff around a dog so long as they're behaved and not likely to get up on the table. You do have to be careful about shard management and paw checks tho, Dogs are really good at getting Bits in-between their toes where they can hide and start causing infections. Cats groom themselves too much and might end up with shards in their mouths or throats if you let them in the room with you during cutting, most other common indoor pets are too sensitive to fumes for it to be safe for them to be in the room for any part of the process after the foil goes on. This is just an fyi)
So far the Big issue that's making this difficult is that she made the holes for the screws and such too small. She's doing the Tiffany method which means the screw holes are being made unpredictabily smaller by the copper foil and inconsistency in her soldering, This is not a skill issue and is kind just Part of things. She's going to have to melt off all of her pretty leading and pull off the tape to grind the holes bigger, effectively undoing a Decent number of hours of work and making more for herself. If your considering doing a similar project, hot tip, make the holes Massive, around the size of your screws Head, then fill them completely with solder while you do your leading, the lead is soft enough to drill through and tap with a standard hand drill like you would wood. I'd recommend a manual one over a motorized one just bc it'll stay cooler and stained glass doesn't like being vibrated that harshly.
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after some adjustments to things it's most of the way put together and moving! And Yeah it looks Really Really Good. I'm kinda worried what that arm is going to do under load though, It looks like it might want to fold on itself and flex snap on the diagonal, or break the soldering away from the glass. Using thick c channel came around the edges would reinforce it pretty well if that's going to be the reason this video is called "making a robot out of stained glass was a stupid idea from the start"
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It just got a wash, a base, and some patina. They put up a title card that said 'homestretch' Look at the progress bar.
Things have been going really well so far so I'm kinda worried about what could go wrong.
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the mounts at the base of the arm where the pivot point is can't handle the stresses. Wrapping the outside edge of chassis pieces in came would let them flex without being able to pull away from each other. Bc the glass didn't break, the soldering gave out, came is applied in single long pieces that take some Doing to make fail like that since properly stretched came wants to flex and return to position before it wants to snap. that's why we use it in exterior windows instead of the Tiffany method.
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She repaired the seam in the same way it was before glued the hardware in place, fixed up the base to make it match her expectations of it, and it failed again in the same way. This piece has a lot of play around it, obviously I don't know for certain if some c channel will 100% fix the problem, But. she does have the room to give it a shot without having to make any other alterations it looks like.
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shes, very reasonably, gotten frustrated and decided to just replace the problem part with the metal piece from the original robot and it Does Seam Promising because everything else worked.
And it does!
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she made tea with it. :]
(Video link here)
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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 1 year ago
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tuesday again 6/6/2023
two things to frontload:
if you have good vibes to send off in service of me getting a livable apartment in the greater houston tx area i would be most grateful, bc the hunt ain't fuckin goin too fuckin great
go play ABZÛ
listening
soul bossa nova by quincy jones bc it popped up on my discover weekly. i can only assume spotify recced this to me for bossa nova reasons bc i have been categorically ignoring austin powers my entire life and intend to continue on in this fashion.
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it is a bop tho.
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reading
when i wrote the pinned post for this blog i settled on "a common throughline in Shit What I Like is understanding how and why systems work" bc i hadn't yet listened to Well There's Your Problem, a podcast with slides about engineering disasters and systemic failures, and "OSHA aficionado" is shorter but less snappy than "WTYPP fan". anyway when i think "chemical spill" i do not generally think "hand sanitizer spill", and when i think "how do i get rid of all this unsellable poorly made hand sanitizer made in the early days of the pandemic" i do not immediately leap to "well i'll just dump pallets in this parking lot and warehouse and surely it won't spill and/or explode bc hand sanitizer is a product that makes you safer".
ArtNaturals was, at that point, not on the [FDA warning] list. Its sanitizer, labeled with a tasteful, millennial-friendly design that said it was vegan and infused with jojoba oil, was marketed as “safe for kids” and “a great bulk hand sanitizer pack for parents and teachers.” At least two school districts on the West Coast had purchased the sanitizer to distribute to students, in addition to two Ivy League universities. Then, in March 2021, a year into sales, an independent lab in Connecticut called Valisure announced that it had found benzene in the company’s sanitizer. Benzene, a widely used industrial chemical derived from petroleum, can be absorbed through the skin and is known to be a risk factor for leukemia.
came across it bc my rss feed really wanted me to subscribe to longreads (no), but this one did catch my eye as i was checking to make sure the site still wasn't for me
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watching
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watching this was a unexpectedly funny experience bc i recognized one of the backing instrumentals as a previous tuesdaypost song, which kind of felt like solving a mystery book on chapter three bc u knew an obscure fact about eels. this documentary came out in nov 22 and the song was one of this past feb's tuesdaysongs so i can only assume the spike in popularity from the documentary propelled it onto my discover weekly playlist??? the internet is a series of algorithmic tubes &tc
this is a tremendous work, as a documentary/history/archival effort/piece of art. it made me tear up. there's a very lovely sequence about memory and legacy that got me thinking a lot again about how i would like to be remembered. ive rewritten this section four times, when usually i don't redraft the tuesdaypost much at all. boils down to: complex and weird topic to talk about as an orphan, i am reluctant to be any more emotionally vulnerable than i absolutely have to during this time of great cross-country change and moving upheaval.
i appreciated how this was not tearjerker webby bait, which would have made it feel very hollow and embittered me even more during a week i am already predisposed to hate humanity. instead, mr perjurer is simply very good at his job (being an ethical documentarian)
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playing
one game i really loved and one game i really hated, so it goes.
despite religiously downloading the epic store free game of the week bc i have a reminder written in my planner, i never fucking remember to actually look at what i have in that library.
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ABZÛ genuinely healed my heart during a very unpleasant weekend.
i don't use this as a recs platform except for this one time when i am cashing in all my chips. go play ABZÛ, it takes like an hour and a half.
all you need to know about it you can get from the cover art. it is not a hard game and it is not a horror game. i went in totally blind and the less you know about this game the better. i was delighted nearly every minute. every time i saw an ammonite i felt like i was seeing an old friend. there are SO many clever game design choices i want to talk about. message me after you play this. i said "of COURSE IT WAS AUSTIN FUCKING WINTORY ON THE SCORE" during the credits. what an absolutely goddamn perfect little jewel of a game.
AGAIN: go play ABZÛ.
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i also played Call of the Sea, bc it was in my epic library and i wanted something fast and oceanic to continue the high of ABZÛ.
Call of the Sea did not continue the high of ABZÛ. i think this team carefully and thoughtfully sidestepped several of the usual issues is making something Lovecraftian but fell into the rest of the pits. eg i liked that they had Polynesian culture consultants, but from an interview it seemed like it was limited to a one-day crash course? i am deeply grateful this isn't a dead-wife game and the female protagonist has a great deal of agency, but she's still a rich white lady from boston trekking about the Tahitian islands commenting on primitive structures, which made me suck air in through my teeth at many points. there is an "ancient slave culture" thread that never actually resolves. i really wish it resolved. the game overall is in a very weird place, trapped between the norms and mores of the early 40s and the 2020s. you have Got to commit to one or the other.
the overall vibe is very polished for a first game. general vibes are Firewatch but puzzle-adventure. the lighting is a little too dynamic and was very distracting throughout. due to this studio's age (new) and odd location (spain) and how their debut game came out (took a year and a half to make, debuted on gamepass) i understand why this game exists the way it does from a marketing and industry standpoint and why they favored visual polish and art style over everything else. it's still annoying bc it is so close to an interesting game.
the twist particularly infuriated me as a chronically ill person, spoilers for the twist behind rot13
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making
fallow week. if it isn't moving-related it isn't happening, and even then a lot of moving-related things are grinding on painfully slowly
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