#ive been waiting for therapy all my life

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

.

[littlecutiexox]

Got to hang out with my best friend from high school today after not seeing them for 5 years and I’m so emotional and happy

[todayisafridaynight]

Hey so Snap this is going to be so fucking weird, but honestly don’t care. So I was watching a clip of Drag Race Philippines and it was the make over episode and I think they were making over family members and this father was all about getting into drag. So, I just wanted to tell you never forget how much of a lovely loving kind and caring father you have, who loves you and protects you and makes you feel heard. That’s all.

i'd have to die before i forget how great my dad is thank you for the opportunity to brag about him again anon

[skythealmighty]

haha i love when i struggle with multiple hyperfixations at once. i am a coward for not making a crossover between allnof them but like. worldbuilding hard stfu

#rocket talk #the hyperfixes: #tmnt #inanimate insanity #bfdi #dsmp #the last one mostly spurred on by the stupid shit dreams doing #love clowning on that fool

(0 notes)

🤍 notalwayssecondplace Follow

i love how people are reblogging gi's hit post like it isnt a sign of his crippling inability to deal with change or to come to terms with his own self

anyway on other news i have a bunch of ideas for a new d&d campaign!

#i love my cousin but he really really needs therapy #like REALLY really

(12 notes)

🔧 warp-pipe-sfx Follow

I just realized... why do we call it "humanity"? Shouldn't it be "objectity"? IS it that in some universes? Can we claim universes that use "humanity" all once had humans???

⛳ bossy-bot Follow

Hello! Golf Ball from the BFDI universe here. I can confirm we use 'humanity' because we have, and also have had, humans. I cannot say for other universes though.

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

Fan II at your service! we use both- humans are kind of a myth for the most part. depends on how religious you are sometimes

💊 the-cringe-one Follow

Cringe Pill, TDOS- 'objectity' is the main term we use. Hadn't even heard of humans until Real Life Battle, honestly

👓 the-nerdiest-glasses Follow

guys, you're way overthinking this. here one sec

add in the tags what universe you're from (and if you picked humanity, if you know why add that too)

🔧 warp-pipe-sfx Follow

Oh, hadn't even thought of that...

#Goes to show you can be as smart as you want and still be stupid 😅 #Very curious to see the responses

(351,294 notes)

🎩 not-a-magician asked: Hi, I've been seeing people ask you for advice on auras and mental wellness and things... do you have anything for sleeping? I don't know if I have insomnia, but I've definitely had some trouble sleeping lately. I'm tired as hell but can't seem to just. Do it. Any advice at all would mean the world to me, really

🕯 litwick-in-real-life Follow

(Reminder to all: my advice on here is not meant to replace professional help by any means. If this is the cause of underlying trauma, please turn to therapy and not Tumblr. I'm not licensed yet.)

Thank you so much for the ask! While I'm sorry to admit sleep habits are not something I'm particularly versed in, I will give advice to the best of my ability as always. Best wishes on your journey to heal ^-^

Full advice below the cut to save space, as always!

Keep reading

#mental wellness #sleep habits #sleep #candle's light advice #not-a-magician

(14 notes)

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

ive come to a realization

you're welcome

#tpot #gravity falls #bfdi #one bfdi #bill cipher #i spent way too fucking long on this #if anyone's done this before me don't tell me please #also please dont come after me one THIS ISNT AN INSULT

(931 notes)

👿 darkness-reigns-supreme-3882 Follow

WHY THE FUCK AM I GREEN NOW?!

👿 darkness-reigns-supreme-3882 Follow

GREEN ISN'T INTIMIDATING. GREEN IS STUPID. GREEN IS ~nature~ AND ~healing~ AND PEOPLE WHO GET STUCK UP ON MOUNTAINS!!!!!

👿 darkness-reigns-supreme-3882 Follow

there will be hell to pay for this.

#i SWEAR if who i thought did this did this.

(2 notes)

✅ marker-the-green Follow

Ummm why did I just get a bunch of hate dms after I changed my username? I thought these were over :[

#It's the same guy too.... #oh wait right I unblocked him since he stopped

(7 notes)

📱 phone-guy-not-fnaf Follow

Finally getting therapy ✌ unfortunately my therapist says it's not productive to be literally dancing on my dead father's grave. that beign said tune into my next stream where we do dares at his gravestone

(374 notes)

🗒 meme-pad Follow

how to stop water in pot from burning? tried to cook ramen and failed

🗒 meme-pad Follow

i did not mean to type this in google im crowdsourcing

🎩 not-a-magician Follow

What the hell did you do?!

🗒 meme-pad Follow

NOTHING

#wait u have a tumnlr?

(1,279 notes)

📛 loud-and-proud Follow

i know this is ironic because of my username but uh. does anyone have any advice for being in love w your best bro and not knowing how to say it

🎚 all-about-dat-bass Follow

bro... im right here...

📛 loud-and-proud Follow

bro... so... is that a yes?

🎚 all-about-dat-bass Follow

hell YEAH, bro!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

📛 loud-and-proud Follow

no way... i love you dude ❤

🎚 all-about-dat-bass Follow

love you too man ❤

📕 imnotafuckingdiary Follow

Fucking finally

#They were SO BAD off screen #Definitely didn't expect this on Tumblr of all places though.

(72 notes)

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

time sensitive question: is it possible to get sued by algebraliens

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

this was posted literal months ago why are you idiots still reblogging it.

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

I mean~... if you want help not getting sued, I could always lend a theoretical hand?

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

no soliciting

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

That's not what "no soliciting" means, you know.

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

suck my dick

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

Haha, rude! I'm only offering help, you know.

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

go away you bill cipher wannabe or ill bite into you like a stale dorito

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

I can find you, you know.

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

lol

#im about to do whats called a pro gamer move

(240,163 notes)

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

i blocked her 🎉

[echoingbirdsofprey]

Delicate (Jake's Version)

17 - Friendly Fire

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OFC Samantha Kazansky

Rating: Explicit (MDNI!)

Warnings: some incorrect (probably) medical crap, needles, IV lines, etc. and rude!Rooster

A/N: This isn't quite what I thought this chapter was gonna be, but I like it nonetheless. Don't come at me for navy jargon or any of the medical stuff. I did my best with the little knowledge I have of both. I do my best to research to try to keep everything as factual as I can but I do miss things, and it is fanfiction after all so enjoy please! Also I'm not quite done with the next part of the Twisters story so these are a little wonky timeline wise, sorry!

Tags: @mrsevans90 @djs8891

Playlist

Jake would be in the hospital for another week or so, getting his system back to normal, healing his broken bones and resting. He was officially on medical leave, and the rest of his co-pilots were on a short leave so they could rest. Javy had come by to visit Jake and bring Sam home. Jake had fallen asleep while he'd been talking to Sam, and Javy had entered the room not too long after. Javy invited Bradley to their house, knowing he wanted to keep an eye on Sam. Sure, Jake was home, but he wasn't out of the water yet.

Before leaving, the doctor came in and wanted to talk to Sam. “Mrs. Seresin?” He asked and all of their heads shot up. Sam didn't bother correcting him, and it would be a reality soon enough, so he continued. “He's going to need close monitoring at home. He shouldn't drive or lift anything for a few weeks once he goes home and once he’s out of the sling he'll need to start physical therapy immediately. I'm also recommending he see a therapist and meet with someone from a Veterans/POW Support group.”

“I have someone for that lined up already.” She said softly and the doctor nodded.

“Perfect. Visiting hours are 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. We encourage family to come around meal times as it can be hard for patients to want to eat sometimes. Having a family member here can help with that.” He suggested and Sam agreed, so she would try to come during a meal and probably sneak him in something better than hospital food. The doctor left and Sam gave Jake one more kiss, on his forehead this time. He was sleeping comfortably and she didn’t want to wake him up. Neither did Javy.

‘I'll see him soon enough. You wanna drive with me or Bradley?” He asked and she glanced at Bradley, seeing his brows raise. He was hoping she would go with him.

“I can go with Roos. My phone is in his truck anyway.” She said. They headed to their vehicles and Sam had quickly mentioned the puppies. Javy was ecstatic.

“Funny, I was actually thinking of getting a dog right before Jake started dating you. Now I don't have to.” He chuckled as they all buckled in and headed home. When they arrived, there was another car in the driveway, a sporty red Mazda. It was Maisy's car and she couldn't exit fast enough to see Javy. He picked her up and twirled her and Sam looked on with envy. That was something that Jake would do for sure. Maisy and Javy intertwined their fingers and headed up the stairs, Bradley and Sam following. 

“You alright?” Bradley asked, touching her arm gently. Her jaw tightened, holding back tears and he could see it. 

“I know he's home and he's safe, but he's not here with me, right now. I just want to be in his arms again.” She sighed and her lips turned down. Bradley knew there wasn't a damn thing he could say or so to help either. 

🛩️🛩️🛩️

Sam: are you coming to Jake/Javys?

Nat: yup, Bob and I are on our way now

Sam: glad you're safe, cant wait to see you

Nat: how was he?

Sam: worse than I thought, he could barely stay awake

Nat: he went thru a lot he looked worse

Sam: that's what Javy said too

Nat: 🤕 sorry

Sam: thank you Nat

Nat: i know there's nothing can be said to make it all right but I'm here if you need anything at all, we all are...Jake was...so brave...he saved Bradleys life...i heard Cyclone telling Mav about him getting a Navy Cross and a promotion in rank...that's a huge deal

Sam: he'll be so happy

Nat: he deserves it after what he went through

It wasn't a party. They would have an actual party when Jake was out of the hospital. It was just a gathering of pilots and their significant others. 

Everyone was excited to see the puppies and Rocco was actually nice to everyone except Bradley. Sam tried to get him to like Bradley, but the little red dog wouldn't budge. He would never do anything terribly bad, just growl and walk away. 

“Sorry...he’s just stubborn.” Sam said, and Bradley chuckled to himself as he helped put food on the kitchen island. There was an assortment of dips and appetizers, and Maisy had made a big salad. The little red dog followed Sam dutifully, as did Bradley, as if vying for a spot next to her. “Roos...I’m fine you don’t have to follow me around like a damn service dog.”

“I told you I’d help you out...” He said, and Sam placed a hand on his forearm and gazed up at him with her pretty brown eyes. 

I don’t need any help right this minute. I’ll need help bringing Jake home.” She said, stepping away from him then. There was a tension in the air between the two of them, Sam resistant to let Bradley do anything for her, and Bradley trying to push his agenda on her. Sam wondered if Bradley thought that maybe there was still a chance for him to swoop in and save the day, or even worse of a thought, steal her from Jake. She would need to make it very clear that was especially not a possibility. She turned around, placing a bowl of chips out for everyone as people began picking at the food. “In fact, I can’t wait until Jake is home. I missed him so much, but I feel like until he’s here, nothing will be right.” 

“Yeah, I get it.” Bradley said, a bored tone to his voice , which made Sam glare at him. His face dropped and he apologized as Sam left the room, Rocco on her heels. He followed her and found her on the couch by herself, a bottle of cider beer in her hand and her arms folded across her chest. Her expression was foul and Bradley slinked over and slid down next to her. He put his arm on the back of the couch and she shot him a hard stare again. “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean it that way...” He said. She scoffed. They always argued when they'd had drinks.

“Of course you did. No matter what Jake does...you still think he’s the bad guy. He saved your fucking life and you still...STILL...think he’s not good enough for me.” Sam murmured, taking a sip of her beer. She adjusted herself, pulling away from him but the end of the couch stopped her. 

“Sammy...I’m still in love with you. I know you don’t feel the same...so forgive me if it’s hard to watch the girl I’ve had feelings for be with another guy...the guy who’s given me shit for years. I’ve had more bad experiences with him than good.” Bradley said and he sighed. “Yes he saved my life, and it kills me to watch you be with him. Yes, no matter what he does, no matter how much he fawns over you, no matter how well he treats you, I’m always gonna have a negative view of him. One good deed does not erase a lifetime of wickedness...”

“That’s fucking rude, Bradley. He’s not wicked. He’s not cruel. He’s not the monster you make him out to be.” Sam said, pausing as she got in his face. “If anything you are, for the way you look at me while he’s not even here and talk about him when he can’t defend himself.” She pushed herself off the couch just as Maisy entered the room. “I need to take a walk. I’ll be back in a bit.” Sam said as she grabbed her keys from the table near the door and put her shoes on.

“Bradley...what the fuck?” Nat said, as she'd heard some of the conversation and heard Sam leave, but wasn’t quick enough to catch her. He threw his hands in the air.

“I can’t fucking win with her...” He said, pursing his lips and laying his head on the back of the couch.

🛩️🛩️🛩️

Sam folded her arms across her chest and glanced at her phone. 9 PM. She hopped in her truck and drove to the only place she wanted to be. The hospital. She hoped maybe the nurses would be understanding, seeing her somewhat distraught and let her see Jake. No one questioned her when she headed up in the elevator, or when she snuck past the nurse’s station or when she slid the door open to his room and stepped inside. It was warmer than earlier and the lights were off. Jake looked peaceful, but as she got closer, she noticed his brows were furrowed and he was shivering slightly. She touched his arm and it startled him awake.

“Samantha?” He rasped, his lips turning up into a smirk as he realized that it wasn’t a dream. She was really there. She took his hand and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “You been drinking?” He asked and she nodded.

“I had a couple beers and fought with Roos. I got pissed and decided to sneak in here.” She summarized and he chuckled. 

“Wow. Okay, well...I'm glad you did. What were you fighting with Rooster about?” He asked and she noticed he was moving his legs slightly. She paused and watched him. He took a breath and when he moved he winced and whimpered a little. He was uncomfortable.

“Are you okay? Can I help?” She asked and his brows knitted.

“No, no...the pain meds are wearing off...just you being here helps. Now, what's this about Rooster? He try to make a move on you?” There was an edge to Jake’s voice that she could make out even through the veil of pain that was slowly spreading back over him.

“No, he just can't be respectful. He said no matter what you do for him, he'll always think of the guy who's bullied him for years.” She explained and Jake chuckled to himself and shook his head slightly.

“Well, that's just Rooster ain't it? Always holding onto shit. Guess our chat on the carrier didn't mean a damn thing then.” Jake said as he intertwined his fingers with Sam's as best as he could. They sat silent for a while and Jake let his eyes flutter closed. Sam slid the chair from beside the bed over and sat, then placed her head on his thigh. 

They were both awoken by the door sliding open and the nurse gasping. “I'm so sorry, ma'am, it's past visiting hours.”

“It's fine.” Jake groaned. “I hope you're coming to give me more pain meds cause I'm hurtin’ here.” 

“Yes, Lieutenant, so sorry we're running a little behind and understaffed. Miss, I do have to ask you to leave though.” She said, going to the side that Sam was on. 

“I want her to stay.” Jake said, picking his head up off the pillow. Sam could here the frustration in his voice and the nurse, a small blond girl and rather young looking, widened her eyes, and was hesitant to go further into the room.

“Jake. Be nice.” Sam said softly, pulling her fingers from his. He reached for her, worry crossing his features, and she placed her hand on his leg. “I'll stand over here so she can do her job.” Sam shot the nurse a smile and nodded. 

“This is the most awake he's been. Sorry, I just didn't realize, you must be his wife. There's a note on his chart to allow you beyond visitng hours.” She said, smiling at Sam. She then stepped around her and to where his IV lines were. She placed her tray on the side table and put her gloves on to administer his medication. Sam didn't correct her and smirked.

“We appreciate that. What's your name?” Sam asked and the nurse glanced at her as she connected the syringe to his line.

“Kelsey, and you're Samantha, right?” She said, and Sam watched Jake's expression begin to gloss over from pain into relaxation. 

“Yes. Nice to meet you. Are you Jake's only nurse?” She asked and Kelsey shook her head.

“No, since he's staying for a bit, you'll see me, Connie, who's one of the older nurses, and probably Delilah. Delilah and I are just out of school so we both work a lot so we can get a lot of experience and Connie has been a great mentor. You also might see Kyle here and there. He does weird hours.” She explained and then took the second syringe on her tray and administered that as well. “This one is going to make you very drowsy.”

“What is he getting? Sorry for all the questions...I did the same when my father was here.” Sam asked and sheepishly smiled. Jake's lids lowered then and he smirked at Sam. 

“Ibuprofen for pain and inflammation and amytryptaline for mood stabilization. The majority of sailors or pilots who get injured while deployed come home with PTSD and with that can come irritability or mood swings. Jake's notes from the medic state that he was aggressive and argumentative as he was being rescued and also after coming out of surgery...” Kelsey explained, glancing away from Jake as she recited his notes. Sam gave him a look of disappointment and then apologized to Kelsey. 

“I was not.” Jake grumbled, his eyes half closed. He sighed heavily and Sam could see the tension melt away as the medications began to work. Jake swore he could feel the viscous liquids traveling through his veins, and up to his brain to mellow him out. 

“You probably were, you bastard.” Sam joked, making Jake laugh. Kelsey had a small giglle to herself as she wrote down his vitals on his chart. 

“He's going to sleep. The antidepressant is going to knock him out and the pain meds will make him comfortable so he can. We want him to sleep as much as possible. I know you’re worried about him, but the best thing is for you to be rested up for when he comes home. He's going to need a lot of help for a couple of months at least.” Kelsey said softly to Sam. “Maybe stay with him tonight and go home in the morning.” She suggested and Sam nodded.

“Thank you. That sounds like a good idea.” She said and Kelsey left, sliding the door closed. It was quiet again, just the beep of the heart monitor and the sheets rustling. 

“Can you fix the sheets for me, honeybun?” He asked, his voice sleepy sounding. Sam nodded and pulled then up some but hesitated.

“Over your arm too?” She asked. 

“Yeah. I'm cold. Up over my shoulders. I'll leave my arm out. Wish you could climb up here and warm me up though.” His voice became husky, and he laid his head back against the pillow with a wide smirk. Sam shook her head and she pulled his sheets up to where he wanted them. 

“Listen, you horn dog...I'm not sucking your dick...” she mused and he frowned, picking his head up to watch her. She smiled at him and began to climb onto the bed. “But I will lay with you. Tell me if I'm hurting you okay?” 

“You won't...God, you can't.” Jake vibrated with excitement as Sam settled onto the bed. She placed her head carefully on his stomach and curled her legs over his. She put her arm around his hips and her other along his side. His sigh was one of contentment this time, feeling the world melt away with her body against his.

🛩️🛩️🛩️

Sam briefly awoke to Kelsey coming back in a few hours later to check on them. It was the very early morning and she topped up his pain medication while he was sleeping. Sam's phone had been vibrating on the chair and Kelsey handed it to her. She re-positioned herself on the bed so that she was laying fully next to him and was careful of his arm. She checked her messages. She had a bunch from a lot of people.

Nat: where did you go?

Roos: im sorry 

Javy: im stealing your dogs lol

Maisy: hey are you okay?

Nat: hope you're okay

Roos: I know im an asshole

Javy: didn't you actually leave? Whered you go?

Maisy: if you need to talk im here

Nat: please tell me youre okay

Nat: if you're where I think you are i hope everything is okay

Nat: I know how much you love him and I know you're trying to prove that to chicken little but you shouldn't have to

Nat: chicken is an idiot if he cant see it

Nat: and he's a jerk for acting the way he is

Nat: im so not kissing him now

Sam grinned and she replied back to a few of the messages.

Sam: thank you Maisy...will talk later on, just needed to clear my head and see Jake

Sam: you can borrow the puppies as long as you play fetch with them...sorry for just leaving and leaving them with you I'll make it up to you somehow

Sam: Nat, girly, you're my best best friend and more than you know, I appreciate that you see what I have with Jake...I know I don't have to but I feel like Roos needs to see and continue seeing what I have with Jake because otherwise he's just going to continue trying to win me over

Sam: and he can't, I only want Jake...and our deal was you kiss Roos but we can renegotiate the deal...I think you should kiss Bob instead...I like you with Bob

Sam placed her phone in between her and Jake's bodies. She rolled to face him and snuggled closer. He was warm beside her. He stirred for a moment, turning his head to face her and opening one eye.

“Did...nurse...come back?” He rasped and then groaned and shifted, pressing as close as he could to her.

“She did. Gave you more ibuprofen. Feel okay?” She asked as he turned his head. Their noses were touching then and Jake let his lips touch Sam's so lightly that she thought she imagined it. 

“Can't...wait...get home.” He murmured and Sam kissed him again and reached up to run her fingers over the beard that was growing on his cheeks and jawline. “Need a shave.” He whispered, making Sam laugh.

“”No, you're kinda hot with a beard.” She said and he smiled.

“Nah. Feels gross.” He nuzzled his cheek against hers, earning a giggle from her. He took in a sharp breath and winced, realizing he was pushing against her a bit too much with his left arm. She pulled away slightly to give him some room, but not much.

“I'll help you shave it when you get home, okay?” She whispered, placing her arm back over his hips. They fell asleep again even easier than before.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

NEW FIC

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

YEAH!

129 for ❄️:

---

“Oh,” Buck blinks. “I thought therapy was Mondays.”

“It is,” Eddie confirms. “There are other kinds of appointments, you know.”

Buck waits for Eddie to elaborate, but it doesn’t come. 

“Ah,” Buck eventually nods. “That kind of massage.”

“Ugh,” Eddie groans, rolling his eyes. “Fuck off.”

Buck smirks.

��Sunday, okay?” Eddie says. “Can we hang out Sunday?” 

Something flickers across Buck’s expression. Too quickly for Eddie to read it.

“Absolutely,” Buck smiles eventually. “Sunday it is.”

iv.

“It was a tragedy, really, that did it,” Charlie explains. 

He’s the first person to volunteer to answer Jodie’s question. Eddie thinks he’s sort of brave. Jodie’s question isn’t easy. Eddie’s not sure where he’d even start. What was the thing - the event or decision - that made you want to make this change? 

That’s trickier than it sounds, right? She’s not asking, when did you know you were gay, exactly. This isn’t as cut and dry as it was for Buck. No, well one day a guy came up and kissed me and I thought, yep, liked that, too. Though, he’s sure it is more complicated for Buck. Just, sometimes Eddie envies that Buck went from not knowing to knowing, like a light switch. There was no knowing and then trying desperately not to know. 

Jodie isn’t asking, when did you know? She’s asking, when did you stop trying not to know? When did you stop ignoring it? Why have you quit trying to shove it down, lock it away, and look in the opposite direction? And that’s a more complicated question. 

“A series of tragedies, actually,” Charlie continues. “My mother died. Ovarian cancer. Two years later, I lost my brother and his family. He was an addict and… Well, it was bad. Really bad. I was lost. I didn’t understand him. Hated him, really. Had for a long time, and I felt guilt for hating him. My wife - uh, my ex now - she’s the one who suggested I go to Al-Anon.”

Eddie understands guilt and anger and the endless spiral they can create. Not that it’s ever been related to addiction in his own life. But he thinks he can understand how a space for that might have been healthy. Might have kept him out of other spaces. Like cage fights, for example. 

“It all kind of spiraled from there, I guess. In figuring out a way to have empathy for everything my brother had been trying to drink away, I guess I sort of opened a can of worms. All the things I’d forced myself not to look at. Couldn’t put the lid back on it.”

Eddie can’t put a lid back on it either. That’s why he’s here, right? His attempts have failed. Badly. His attempts to put a lid on it sent his son packing for another state. Even he didn’t exactly recognize them for what they were, at the time.

“Six months after starting Al-Anon, I asked my wife for a divorce. She thought I’d lost my mind,” Charlie says. “It didn’t go well. Broke the kids’ hearts. I never explained it to them. That’s still… A problem. It’s been almost ten years.”

Panic grips Eddie’s chest. Ten years? Charlie’s relationship with his kids has been fractured for ten years? Eddie can’t do that. He can’t let that be him. Christopher has been gone not even a full month at this point and he feels like he’s dying a little bit every day. What would a decade do to him? Chris, almost twenty-four and still hating Eddie? Eddie would die. He would wither and die. 

“Eddie,” Jodie says. Eddie flinches at being perceived. “You just had quite a reaction to what Charlie said. Why is that?”

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles. “It’s nothing.”

Charlie’s face tightens, and Eddie realizes he must think he’s being judged. That Eddie thinks he’s a bad dad or something. Shit. 

“I just…” Eddie starts again, trying to repair any unintentional damage. “My son isn’t talking to me either, right now. So I… Uh, empathize. That’s all.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Charlie replies. A little stiff, but Eddie can hear the relief in his voice. 

Eddie nods. 

“Eddie, would you like to go next?” Jodie asks.

Fuck. Why couldn’t Eddie just keep his damn face still?

“No,” Eddie admits, earning himself a chuckle from the other participants. “But, uh, I guess I will.”

“Thank you,” Jodie replies patiently. 

Eddie takes a deep breath. He doesn’t really want to tell this story. It makes him seem deranged. Unhinged. Like a bad person, even. He doesn’t think he’s a bad person. But what if they all hear his story and think that he is?

“Uh…” Eddie starts, trailing off. 

Charlie gives him a little nod. Encouraging him forward. Eddie feels a little surge of reassurance. Right. Charlie shared his story and probably thought the same way. Because, on the surface, it looks sort of similar, doesn’t it? A guy blowing up his life. Hurting a woman who loved him. Hurting his children. They aren’t that different. And Eddie doesn’t think Charlie is a bad person at all.

“So…” Eddie takes a deep breath. 

He’s not sure where to start, actually. Does he start with thoughts he tried to shove away and pray away as a teenager? Does he start with getting Shannon pregnant? Does he start with her dying?

[thechthonicherbalist]

A belated Hiatus Post

I have been rather inactive for the past 3 months & received a lot of notifs about it. I won't be able to answer all of them, sorry for that. Here's my attempt to try & lay open a little why I've been gone and what the coming months will bring. I have pondered long how to write this in the least hurtful way, while also expressing my own emotions & experiences.

Those of you, who have followed my journey on pretty much any other page, probably know that I'm chronically ill with autoimmune disease, homebound since over a decade, that I got cardiovascular damage as a side effect & that since 2021/22 my condition severely worsened & often leaves me mostly bedridden for weeks at a time. I shared about the numerous surgeries & medical treatments I had in the past year, how I've slowly lost the ability to digest food before & require parenteral nutrition via an IV port since September '23. As well as how I tested positive for GI cancer in March. I've been waiting for an appointment to remove growths, cauterize multiple ulcers & take tissue samples to test for malignant cells since & been gone for a 6 week long hospital stay with a number of surgeries after September 16th & was taking time to recover from that since.

My mental health has gone really bad in the past year as well, for a number of other reasons but also this. I've experienced the biggest cptsd relapse I've had in the past 20 years in the past 14 months. I went from stable & happy, despite my illness and a low-contact situation with family, after almost 2 decades of therapy & inner child healing to escape and recover from an abusive childhood home; keeping my cortisol low and my nervous system calm to prevent further autoimmune flares & to be able to cope with my fatigue enough to do my work and happily make art and write... ...to the point where since about a year I'm in the middle of a full blown relapse of complex PTSD, severe depression and anxiety that has little to do with my offline life. Despite numerous attempts to resolve or remove myself from the underlying situation in order to preserve my well-being and safety, requesting acute intense psychiatric care during hospital stays more than 8 times, as well as consulting regular therapy sessions in social psychiatric help centres since January and ultimately return to therapy since June, I've only started to experience relief more recently.

🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐

And this is where the good news start!

🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐

In the past 2 months, I have finally been able to take care of myself, my work, household and hobbies & properly rest again, without constant exposure to anxiety inducing situations. And while the time in which I had surgery was still horrendous for a number of situations related to this, I have at least started chemotherapy now, without having to constantly fear that something terrible will happen again when I'm most vulnerable right before, during or right after my treatments or other crisis in my private life. So far the treatment is effective, even though I have all the unpleasant side effects that come with it. Overall my life is much calmer now and I don't live in constant anxiety anymore, which is a huge win for me. Moving forward, I want to return to doing things that are good for me & were originally intended for this blog, now that I can finally rest, heal, take care of my health and actually thrive & be productive at my own pace in peace.

So despite the fact that I won't be super active, here are my plans for the future:

Make more original art and art dedicated to my own passions and projects again and actually post them. I had started a series on learning to do folkloric art as well as a series on intrudcing MBTI personalities, glimpses into their lives, lots of research, writing small articles and doing my own art for this, in 2022.

Return to my passion projects from 2022/2023 (all NSFW): - My 9-pieced fanfiction series "Lestat's Lovers" and Art for it - My 8-pieced fanfic series "Things I didn't tell Thetis" - My 4-pieced series "To love a thing Death can touch" I have wanted to continue writing for a long time. The plot for the first one has been with me for 17 years & is deeply intertwined with my internal universe. I've always hungered to write & share it with the world with the art I used to make for it, but never finished or even started. It was devastating to be unable to do that for so long.

Post about my journey as a native practitioner of Bohémien Romani Culture, Slavo-Celtic Shaman-/Druidism and Kabbalistic Judaism, as well as the taught believes of Hellenism, Christianity and Christian Satanism in the past 20+ years, present and future.

Translate & publish the vast knowledge I've assembled about herbs & other natural substances, their uses in historic and folk medicine, magic, alchemy, spirituality, etc, their historic significance and much more. It's been a big interest since my childhood, I was taken on hikes to collect herbs & materials for homemade remedies and other things and taught how to make them from scratch, since I could be taken out in a baby sling.

Make blog posts about my culture, including its folklore, mythology, rites, magic etc. and post them here. (I borrowed books about this from the library, so I can give reading recommendations and cite interesting sources! :D)

Create a side blog about my music recommendations, as I'm very passionate about a lot of genres and want to keep things more sorted. <3

Stop being scared to make posts for my mental health & healing journey again, even if they might still get misinterpreted. I can't take the responsibility to manage others' perception & emotions or literally anything else they should work out themselves.

[cloroxium]

2025 SELF PORTRAIT - UP IN FLAMES

this is something i’ve never done, mostly from self consciousness and just a tricky paradox of how i view myself, but i think this years the way to break it. i’ve known people who’ve done this as a form of therapy and so for me, making for me, posting for me, nothing else really matters! more in-depthness under the cut :3 (and it does help, spoiler alert…)

2024 was ultimately the worst year of my life. i seem to say that every year, but this year it’s been amazing. i’ve been more productive at the very end of last year and it continues into this year. i was couch hopping last year, in desperate times, and it called for the most unforeseen measures that to this day that i am still trying to figure myself out from. the worst event possible happened to me this time last year and ive accepted that i may never truly be the same, not for worse, but for better. life taught me a lot of things last year into this year and i’ve finally began functioning as an independent human person. not everyone needs to understand til they’ve been there.

i waited MANY rough years to finally get my drivers license after rebranding poor excuses as to why i couldn’t get one. i have a really good friend circle that have witnessed me at my worst and stayed with my during my best, i have an awesome swag job where i love everyone i work with, and i still tend to the house and my family if they ever need something. i used to rely heavily on people to uphold my emotions this time last year. ive found l, now, that this was not the move to get to where i needed to be. i needed to be forced to grow, and i thank everyone for that every day. i lost some amazing people and some that were not the greatest, but merely just another lesson to learn in life. it’s all i see it as.

i’ve had such a struggle with my gender and sexuality and therefore i will label myself as a trans person, but unlabeled in general. i think with how the world is right now in its current state, there’s too much to worry about with others who have figured themselves out than to try and worry about my own that will likely never get settled. im just a person. unlabeled or not, i think everyone’s valid.

i’ve also have learned to no longer people please and set firm boundaries with people, and that’s been wonderful in all its glory. i started to believe more in karma, good and bad, and i know everything comes back multiplied, so i just strive to do what’s best for my life and not serve any energy to anything that won’t serve me or anyone surrounding me. ive become mostly exclusive now, i keep my close friends dear, but the rest remains a mystery. my life has been a whirlwind, especially in the last year, but i think it was the most important year of my life, and im glad to have cool friends and mutuals on here to keep the art drive coming along.

ive been stuck in a saw craze for over a year now since my last partner introduced me to it, which is something i’ll never want to take back, it’s funny to say, but this strange little franchise has been such a positive outlet for all the insane shizzle that’s happened in my life the past year. i wasn’t happy a little less than a year ago, but now i can say that everything’s gonna be alright. im glad to start 2025 out strong with knowing what my personality is and finally after 13 years… med free for half a year. it’s a huge step for me not remembering how i ever felt without them, but i just feel more alive, and functional in society.

i’ve achieved grand milestones and im very proud of myself for everything ive been through to get me where i am, the bad and the good. everyone’s different and this is the way i like to grow and understand myself. thanks to all my buddies for sticking here, even though most won’t even see this. ramble over, here’s to a swaggy justin bieber style 2025 ! <3

[mvrtaiswriting]

Hello! I have a request. It's a reader X Ace from One Piece story. It shows the aftermath of Ace defeating Blackbeard and the reader caring for him as he recovers from his injuries. Ace didn't fight alone. The reader was at his side, and it changed history. The reader has the Crew Crew fruit, which has similarities with Bolo Betty's Kobu Kobu no Mi. They're empowered by, and empower others, by the depth and quality of their bonds. The connection they had with Ace pushed them both through to victory. The reader truly believes Ace can become pirate king, and is thankful to have the opportunity to save him, as he saved them in the past. Here's the song.

The Great War x Portgas D. Ace ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :

First of all, I just want to thank you for requesting this and trusting me with this beautiful idea. I apologise if it took a while - I literally got so lost in it. This was such a wonderful idea, so kudos to you! I hope this meets your expectations - I loved writing it and I love the idea of Ace being alive and well, loved and surrounded by people who cherish him. This felt like therapy, this boy deserves the world and I love him so very dearly. Enjoy!

1.6k words | gender neutral | usual one piece violence | mention of IVs and hospital stuff.

feel free to reblog, like, and leave a comment. i would very much appreciate it. if you enjoy my works, click here to read more or buy me a coffee.

Running your fingers through his raven locks, you watched as Ace rested by your side. If it wasn't for all the patches and bandages covering his body, it almost seemed like one of his usual peaceful naps. Yet, in the cold of Marco's hospital room, Ace continued his battle and this time, the only help you could give him was sleeping next to him in an uncomfortable chair waiting for him to wake up.

The battle with Blackbeard was one of the most atrocious battles the world had ever witnessed: for Ace, it meant everything. He would have either avenged his dear Pops or died trying - and no one could convince him otherwise. Blackbeard was the living representation of his failures - if only he had been a better son, a better commander, a stronger pirate.. things would have been different. Defeating him meant more than simple revenge: it was Ace's way to honour Whitebeard's legacy, it was Ace's way to remember all the friends and comrades who lost their lives to protect his. For this exact reason, Ace wanted to it alone; he didn't want to lose anyone else - not Marco, not you.

"This is not your fight."

He muttered in response when you and Marco explained your plan to him - you had meticulously studied Blackbeard's devil's fruit and history, you had traced his past routes and the most likely route his ship would have taken to reach the next poneglyph. But Ace didn't want to listen, he didn't want to put your lives at risk - he couldn't tolerate the mere idea of losing you, he didn't want you anywhere near the battlefield regardless of how strong you were.

The months that preceded the battle were intense. Ace trained relentlessly under Rayleigh's careful supervision, pushing his body to its limits and doing his best to awaken his devil fruit's power. When he wasn't training and his body ached from the strain it had to endure, Ace wanted nothing else that spending time with you. His rest days were his excuse to kidnap you from the rest of the crew - he wanted you all for himself, savouring every second he got to spend with you. Despite his confidence and training, he knew his enemy wouldn't be an easy one to face - Blackbeard had the blood of many on his hands, and Ace feared his could only add up to the list. When he wasn't training, blinded by rage and determination, a small part of Ace couldn't help but be afraid.

What if this fight was the big fiasco of his life? What if he wasn't able to defeat Blackbeard, wasting the life his loved ones have protected and traded with theirs? These questions pounded Ace's head constantly, they haunted his sleep and hammered his mind during the day. Ace could only feel peace when he was around you. With you around, Ace felt as if he could conquer the world. The first time he felt like this, you were drunkenly opening your hearts to one another.

"You'll be the king of pirates one day, Fire Fist. And I'll be there, first row."

You slurred, raising your beer to cheer it against his hat, as if it was his crown. That night, the blood in your veins was probably being replaced by the booze you and Ace had chucked down - yet, he knew your words were sincere. He knew you meant every word because as you pronounced them, it felt as if they were being directly engraved onto his heart. This was partly the reason why he decided to get Blackbeard's head - seeing the way you believed in him, the rush of adrenaline he felt every time you reminded him of the immense potential he had.

Drunken talks became slow afternoons in which you just enjoyed each others' company, casually lying in each other's arms and falling asleep in a bed that was way too small to hold two people. Waking up to you peacefully resting on his chest, sharing kisses behind the closed door of his room - these were all things Ace wasn't willing to risk.

"If I make it out alive, I swear I'll marry you."

He whispered in your ear as you softly snored the morning away, lying against his warm body.

Despite Ace's reprimands, you and Marco trained just as much as he did. Your help could have been decisive in battle, and regardless of Ace's approval, you would have done everything in your power to fight by his side - after all, your help could have been decisive. Up until then, you always believed that your devil fruit was useless - it didn't give you any special powers nor any type of supernatural strength. It was hard to really grasp the utility of a devil fruit that strengthened others and not its main user. Your devil fruit wasn't one you could really rely on - you had noticed how its effects were not linear or equal, the boost you were able to give was always spread unevenly among your fellow comrades.

As with any other devil fruit, you had to learn by doing - uncovering any underlying functionality of your peculiar power and eventually awaken the devil fruit. So when the day of the battle finally arrived, you weren't exactly ready - of course, your skills on the battle ground were impeccable, but you weren't sure that would be enough.

"We'll have your back, whether you like it or not." Marco said to Ace, shrugging his shoulders. Before Ace could argue against it, you and Marco had already jumped off the ship, making your way into the island.

The horrors witnessed during the battle between Ace and Blackbeard were for the history books - their fight was intense, infinite, and had immense repercussion on everything and everyone around them. No type of training could have prepared Ace's body to the pain and strain he had to endure, punch after punch, every low sweep and unfair move after the other. The fate of the battle seemed to be decided when Ace's fire became weaker and weaker, the powers of his dear devil fruit slipping out of his control and not responding to him anymore - allowing every blow to land exactly where it was meant to, slowing his movements and nullifying his attacks.

Something shifted inside him when he finally heard your voice, screaming his name at the top of your lungs. Ace's back was now against the floor, his throat giving up under Blackbeard's heavy boot pressing against his neck.

"ACE! PLEASE!" You screamed again, your voice breaking as you watched him helplessly laying on the floor, air leaving his lungs as Blackbeard pressed his whole weight against his airways. A shiver run down your spine as your felt your devil fruit powers rushing through you - a shot of adrenaline running all over your body. Marco quickly glared at you in amusement, immediately regaining his strengths and jumping into the battle once again - even his phoenix looked brighter.

What happened afterwards felt like a blur - Ace's flames responding to him once again, flickering and roaring against Blackbeard. In moments that felt like an eternity, a new age of piracy began.

Winning didn't come without a price, and after the sudden rush of adrenaline and strength that allowed Ace to defeat Blackbeard, he fell to his knees, letting his body crash against the cold soil underneath him. The state of his wounds was more critical than imagined, so when you and Marco finally reached him, you feared there wouldn't be nothing you could do to save him. Despite the temporary recovery of powers, even Marco was now feeling dreaded, exhausted from the battle - and his healing abilities were simply not enough.

"That was you." Marco finally spoke, lifting Ace's body and carrying it on his shoulders.

"Don't tell Ace, but this is your win."

Marco giggled, making his way towards the ship.

"That sudden rush of energy.. I've never seen Ace fight like that - a man in his state could never bounce back the way he did. Even I regained a lot of energy, and that scream wasn't definitely for me.. sounds like something your devil fruit could do."

Marco continued, noticing the confused look on his face.

Ace's recovery was slow - he had been asleep for more than a week now, always under the careful eyes of his trusted doctor and friend. His entire body was wrapped in bandages, IVs and all sorts of tubes coming out of his arms to keep him stable - and he was. Marco kept repeating that his vitals looked fine, but Ace just didn't wake up. So you stayed by his side, spending each day next to his hospital bed, waiting for him to come back to you.

"Hey.." Ace whispered, his words quickly being interrupted by a cough. Hearing Ace's voice almost made you jump from your seat, the biggest smile forming on your lips as your eyes quickly scanned over his face.

"Hi."

Was all you managed to say, trying to fight back the tears that were already clouding your vision. Taking his hands into yours, you left a soft kiss on his knuckles.

"How's my pirate king doing?"

You teased, causing Ace to giggle in response. Freeing his hand from yours, he quickly reached for your face, leaving a gentle caress on your cheek. A shiver ran down your spine as you leaned into Ace's touch, melting against the palm of his hand.

"I gotta ask you something." Ace smirked, the slyest of smiles painted on his lips as flashback of that morning ran just before his eyes. Proposing on an hospital bed wasn't ideal nor romantic, but to Ace, it felt right. He vowed he would always be yours if he survived the war against Blackbeard - and now that he did, there was only one thing left to do.

[th3-ann0unc3r]

***********MAJOR ARCANE SPOILERS PLS DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT TI BE SPOILED**********

*****YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED********

*****GO WATCH IT ITS REALLY GOOD I CRIED VERY HARD****

THEY REALLY KILLED JINX OFF LIKE THAT??!?!!?!? SHE WAS TOLD HER WHOLE LIFE YOU DO EVERYTHING WRONG AND THE ONLY FUCKING 2 PEOPLE WHO DIDNT BELIEVE THAT SHE DIED FOR UGHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT BUT DAMN I WISH SHE GOT A BETTER REDEMPTION ARC!!!!

also isha DIDNT need to die at all. SHE DIED THE EXACT WAY JINX DID PROTECTING PEOPLE SHE CARED ABOUT FROM THE SAME FUCKING MONSTER.

ALSO FUCJ JAYCE HE CAN GO TI HELL. IF HE WOULD HAVE JUST LEFT HIS OWN SHIT ALONE AND SAID WAIT MAYBE I DONT NEED TO KILL VIKTOR NOBODY ELSE WOULD HAVE DIED. THEY ALL DIED BECAUSE OF THE STUPID FACT HE “WASNT GOING TO FAIL” I HATE THAT MAN. LIKE WE GET IT YOUR JELOUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS LITERALLY EXTENDING HIS POWER TO THE UNIVERSE BUT GOD DAMN MAN.

i would also like to thank the wonderful writers for cativi BUT YOU WILL BE GETTING MY THERAPY BILL FOR KILLING ISHA!!!!

THEM GIVING MEL POWERS WAS THE BEST TJING EVER LIKE SHE WAS ONE IF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THAT FUCKJNG CITY AND SHE HAD LITERALLY NOTHING BUT SOME WAR SKILLS???? i kiss the ground of the writer who thought to give her powers!!!!

I also hate that vi literally went against every moral she had becoming an enforcer but idk it just felt wrong watching vi track down her sister after saying her whole life she cared so much about her and her well being

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤤🤤🤤🤤eye patch Caitlyn 😝😝😝😝😼😼😼😼

IM ADDING ON AFTER IVE ALREADY POSTED THIS EKKO MY BELOVED HE WAS ON OF THE BEST WRITTEN CHARACTERS AND HE GENUINELY IS A GOOD PERSON I LOVE THAT FACT HE LITERALLY HATED JINX AND THEN SAW HER IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT WHEN HE REALIZED SHE WAS A SCARED KID IN A MANIC WOMENS BODY!!!!

ALSO THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE EPISODE IS ONE OF THE BEST PEICES OF MEDIA TO EVER EXISTS THANK YOU!!!!

ADDING MORE AGAIN the way vi saw humanity in jinx after she slapped isha and the first thing jinx did was check on isha HURTS MW SO MUCH IT WAS SO BUTIFUEL UGHHHHHHH.

also maddie hate club

Thank you all for listening to my rant!

[nordidia]

Regardless of how much attention they got, what are three things you've written or drawn that you're most proud of?

oh i love this question...

so i think what i get most proud of are my long comics,, despite the drawings being simple, i think i put alot more effort into just finishing them than i do like. coloured pieces etc... doing full pieces is more leisure than struggling to finish a long ass comic yknow. especially if its mental health related, i put alot of effort into them

so i think the one im most proud of is the sunset duo comic about PTSD flashbacks the way i experience them.,. i never really saw people talk about how they are for me so i decided to do it myself

alot of people find comfort in it because they also have been longing for someone to talk about those kinds of flashbacks, where its not really pictures or specific memories, but more the feelings you felt during it. alot of people who have repressed memories have flashbacks this way it was very... cathargic. its the first thing that pops into my head when people ask about my emotion-comics. i think its my favorite

another one i really like is this one.

its my first deep comic like that, and it kinda kicked off something in me, knowing what i wanted to create. its kinda old now, and my art has evolved somewhat, ive been thinking of re-doing it sometime

alot of my comics that are like this are based on my own struggles, and i make them to deal with my own, hoping that posting them will make others feel less alone. i also base leo on my irl bff like 98% of the time, and this was one of them.

i think that it marks kind of "the first" of stuff that i've gotten feedback on that it has helped others, and looking back on it gives me alot of motivation to continue doing art

hmm third one i really love is this one, with april

i had this huge idea of going into detail about things, my own take on things. and i held that idea until i started drawing, and as i got to the end i realised: "wait.. i dont want to think about this. i dont want to have a take on someone's pointless suffering. i dont want him to have to remember it either. why do all comics have to elaborate on the struggling and then everything being okay? thats not how it works" and ended up completely re-writing it. i think it made it alot more in character too

at the time, i was in therapy. and we would often talk about what i do in my daily life and i would talk about the comics i make. and this was one she really liked hearing about, and she had a lot of praise for the way i ended it when i told her about my trail of thought

i hope this is comprehensible jdajkgfdsjk !!

i thinik. i like my art that includes leo .. is some of my favorite... i like writing him. he's very kind. he loves and respects raph alot, and i think he understands raph on a deeper level in some way. i cant explain it but. yueah!!! if i could have a fourth favorite it would be this one

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hi im really sorry to bother you, and obvs you dont need to answer this at all im just some internet guy lol but do you think i could get some advice?

so ive been diagnosed with autism for like, 5 years (was diagnosed p late, in comparison to others) and im beginning to have some real goddamn big suspicions that i Also have adhd (because. yaknow. the gift that keeps on giving yk? lol). i have a lot of really major issues with executive dysfunction that is directly impacting schoolwork and also a lot of stuff in my life, generally. ive also got a lot of memory issues nd junk

and the thing is; ive got a therapist, but due to a whole slew of things im really scared to like, bring this up with her yk? and, like, im a minor so i cant exactly just seek it out myself yk? and i cant really talk to my parents about it because my mom is a very specific kind of vaguely ableist and my dad generally just isnt involved with that whole section of my being, yk? like, he doesnt manage any of my therapy, aside from bringing me to appointments when my mother isnt available.

and like, ive brought certain things UP to my therapist before and it went mostly ok, aside from one pretty distressing misunderstanding but it feels different for this one because i really do need medication for this, i feel. and thats a whole thing with my mother specifically, since at the start of the whole diagnosis process she outright refused the idea of medication and like. idk man, im so super sorry to write a whole bullshit essay when you're literally just vibing but yk. idk who else to ask lol, and you seem like you know what youre doing i guess?

real sorry. thanks in advance. insert other applicable signoff message here

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. Your therapist should be someone you can talk to about things like this but I understand being anxious about it. Are you afraid to bring it up because she's said ableist/anti-adhd stuff in the past or you have reason to suspect she won't help? If that's the case I really recommend trying to get a different therapist if you can. You deserve a therapist you feel safe sharing things like this with.

If it's impacting schoolwork it might be worth talking to your teachers to see if there's any additional support you can get from them. You don't have to tell them you suspect ADHD if you don't want to, you can just tell them you've been struggling with certain aspects of school and hopefully they can help. School is hard for lots of people so know you're not alone.

It might be different where you live, but in the UK you're able to make your own doctors appointments if you're over 16 so asking a doctor about getting a referral for a diagnosis/medication could be an option as well. Although waiting lists for that are incredibly long at the moment - I've personally been waiting nearly a year just to get an appointment 🙃

In the meantime, have you heard of How to ADHD on YouTube? Her channel has lots of videos with advice and various discussions about living with ADHD which you might find helpful.

Sorry I don't know if that helped much but I hope you're able to get support soon!

[vampryn]

im doing my first cosplay everrrrr 😭

im going to see evil dead the musical and of course, im dressing up as Ash 🥰 its insanely difficult to find a teal dress shirt though.. but i got the pants today! they're not corduroy (shame on me for not being film-accurate), but they have a very 70s vibe and cut like the ones in the movies. all of the chainsaws were sold from spirit halloween when terrifier 3 came out, so im going to bring an axe instead. now i have to decide if im going to distress the outfit, or if im going to wait to get it fucked up in the splatter zone 🤔 i was going to make a chainsaw harness, but since i don't have time to make the whole chainsaw im vito-ing that.

i also got a really sick vintage Santa outfit, so on Christmas im going to dress up as Art the Clown. im excited, i haven't made any props or prosthetics in such a long time. im not sure if im going to get around to making Art's full prosthetics (no access to the resources for foam-latex), but i definitely will be making the skin-beard.

ive also asked my old schoolmate to try to get me back into the FX shop i interned at, im trying to go back to doing actual work instead of slaving away at my shitty retail job. its almost been 10 years, and after a fuckload of therapy, maybe it's time to be brave and try to actually do something that i want to do. doing makeup for free at the haunted house just isn't cutting the mustard in my sad, sad heart-sandwich.

im getting a tattoo today as well! from my friend who has done all of my leg tattoos 😊 im excited, its going to be an evil dead tattoo, and she said she's gonna make it super sick (she's a G anyway– no doubt there).

ontop of all of that, i was offered a really awesome brand opportunity this morning. i don't know if i believe in spirits or guardians, but sometimes it feels like my dad and grandpa's energy are looking after me. i had a really awful week.. a really awful 3 weeks actually, and it feels like maybe things are going to start looking up for me again. i really really hope so.

i was recently put on a medication that seems to be helping me a lot as well, i have barely smoked any weed since i started it. im also considering trying to go to the gym for the first time in my life (im kind of scared lol). im also motivated to make youtube content, which is very nice because ive been in a creative block for the last few months. hopefully i'll be able to maintain this momentum, because i have a really busy few weeks coming up.. id way rather that than being bored and crying in my bed..

THE ONLY WAY OUT, IS UP.

[cyberkitty1]

Black Musician Reader

about a year and a half after your break up with miles you decided to focus on yourself and your career. making a plethora of songs and being openers for big artist’s.

your living your dream life; moving out of your apartment and getting a house, nothing too bug just something to fit you and your 2 dogs, working out to look better snd feel better about yourself and starting on the journey to better your mental health.

your manager and team have finally decided its time for you to have your first concert. you got to choose where it would be.

you were nervous and excited! these is a new chapter in your life sure you’ve done openers but your very own concert?? this is crazy.

brushing iff your outfit and fixing your hair hair one last time before you step out on stage. the moment you made your way to the middle the lights were blinding but once your eyes got used to it you could see everyone.

cheering your name with signs and pictures it was surreal. you were performing your very last song when you see him. you see him but he looks different, he’s not wearing his puffer or his messed up jordans. he’s wearing a sweater?? and a whole outfit.

you cant ignore the feeling of want and missing him. its been almost 2 years ; he’s always been in the back of your mind you couldn’t deny it and those last words he told you. that he wanted to change for you. did he really change? for you? really?

the concert came to an end it was a success. people gave you gifts and flowers you loved it all. just then someone knocked on your dressing room door.

“come in!” you calm in a loving tone before spinning your chair to see who it is. you were shocked to say the least.

it was miles standing with a big bouquet of your favorite flowers. you felt your heart melt a bit. “miles” he gives you an awkward smile “hey” he says scratching his neck”

“why are you here miles” you say standing keeping your hands at your sides in fists. you were nervous, so so nervous. he messed with his necklace. “remember when we broke up? i told you i would change and treat you better”

he walked toward you giving you the flowers. “ and im here to do just that” he say’s confidently. “miles-“ “no wait i went to therapy i got into a college i have a better relationship with my family, i don’t spray paint walls anymore i, i changed because i love you and i want you to give me another chance, please?”

you stare at him, you’ve missed him so much and the fact that he changed just for you? so he wouldn’t loose you? thats how much he loved you he was proving it to you, just like he said.

you missed him, the moment you broke up with him you wanted him back, you couldn’t just forget all the memories you made with him. there was no way it was going to happen.

“miles, are you being serious?” your eyes filled with tears. he felt anxious he knew how things ended and he knew what he did wrong.

you couldn’t help but let them fall as you give him a hug. he changed himself so he could be with you again? you expected him to just move on by now.

“im sorry about how we left everything, i know i could have been better to you, you didn’t deserve it. can you find it in your heart to forgive me?” he asks speaking into your hair as he hoods you tighter. “ of course miles ive missed you so much” you say through tears.

“ im so sorry for how i treated you, te amo mucho mami” he says wiping your tears. “ please dont do that again, if you need space ill give you space just talk to me, you cant just leave” you day beginning to get agitated.“ i will, i will. forgive me my love”

.

.

.

🏷️: @soseoulol @shoyofroyoyoyo @pandoragalora @miles-42-morales @heavisdelulu @lilcassipuff @levanneisdumb @thebaddest @sussybaka10 @itsznanabanana @mallywally @missyysyx @c4nth3lp1t @sgmianne @miles4hour @ulovejayy @onginlove @buckleyverse @lexixiii @swaqlover @yoursidehismain @florencepughswife030196 @lethycia @edgyficuselastica @druiggf @onsimpshii @lovely-horror-show @vivsamortentia @leighs-gallery @remuslupinsno1slut @steve-harringtons-bitch @shurisbbymama @bunnybabylovesstuff @karmascute @c4rine @janaeby @mookiebutt @paraccosm @zkristuz @reflectionsinrealtime @mindymeeksrules @nagi3seastorm @popeheywardssecretgf @be3_Fl0w3er @piopio @hoodypunpurri @hiyoo-o @enchanting-violet @Dee.xo @sylisan @violettathewriter @ariellaa

rushed im sorrryyy

[sxddekarios]

Invisible String: Ch 1

Jump forward two months to a therapy session between Aspen and Dr. Silverbough, aka Halsin.

AO3

“Why in the Hells did you bring me back?” Aspen asked her therapist for the third time that week. It had been two months of this – two months of laying in the medical ward, multiple sessions with Dr. Silverbough each day, and not a clue of why she was alive. One day, she thought, he had to answer. Not only why, but how.

Dr. Silverbough, or Halsin as he told her to call him, let out one of the deep sighs Aspen had become familiar with over two months of spending most waking hours with the man. It was odd how he always sighed, but never yelled. He was remarkably kind, though she knew it couldn’t last.

“I suppose it’s time I tell you more,” he said. Not that he had told her anything. She appreciated that they had solely focused on her and the two years of torture she went through before it was so, so close to being over. But she was still annoyed that he couldn’t let it be over. She knew it had to be in the realm of magic, but she had no idea what happened.

She should’ve died. She might’ve died. Did he make a deal with a devil? Did the universe have more sick torture in store for her, even after nearly every bone in her body had been shattered while she hung bound and conscious?

“I know you’ve went through an indescribable amount of pain in your life, much of that being in the past few months.” Dr. Silverbough held Aspen’s gaze with an unnerving amount of what appeared to be empathy. “I know you will continue to live through this pain and its effects, and I’m truly sorry for that. It’s why I’m here for you every step of the way, but I know nothing will ever erase your experiences.”

The therapist continued. “That being said, I also have a few hundred years of experience with the threads of life. I know you weren’t going to die despite the blood loss and organ failure you experienced. I don’t know what was keeping you in an eternal limbo – but I knew I had to bring you back to stop the incessant pain that plagued you as you waited for a death that would never come.”

“So, that’s why I brought you here.” He meant Blackstaff Academy, where Aspen had resided for the past 2 months. Not that she had seen anything outside of the medical ward. She knew it made sense with him being a professor (and now her personal therapist) at the academy. But she didn’t know how he got her body to mend.

Dr. Silverbough clasped his hands in his lap. “I have a friend – a vampire – that turned you. He fed from the small amount of blood still coming from your neck, and we spent a week transferring his blood along with a plethora of alchemical remedies to you via IV.” He paused for a moment to let her take it in. Shock flickered across her face as she wondered if she was now a vampire.

Would she have to live forever? Please, please, please don’t let that be my fate, she thought.

“Normally we wouldn’t turn someone like this, but it was the only way to save you. I know we forced this choice on you, and you have every right to be upset with us. We didn’t see another choice though, besides condemning you to suffer.” His deep yet gentle voice carried on while Aspen’s head swarmed with questions.

She had a hell of a lot of questions, but one took precedence. “Now what?” She asked. “What am I supposed to do now?” With her entire life?

“Whatever you like,” he answered seriously. Seriously unhelpful, too. “I’d like if you stay at the academy. All you need to focus on is healing as much as you can. The rest is up to you. You can live here, you can study here, you can find joy here. You don’t need to worry about finances or what you’re ‘doing’ with your life.”

“I promise you,” Dr. Silverbough emphasized, “the academy will always support you and provide for you. This is a home for students, and having brought you here myself, I can assure you that your life is taken care of in bureaucratic terms. Even with our –” he stopped himself for a moment as his eyes flickered red.

He took a deep breath before continuing. “Headmaster, my friends and I at the academy will make sure you always have a safe space. No matter what happens here, or what you choose to do with your life.”        

What the fuck was up with the headmaster? Aspen figured she’d find out soon enough if she decided to study there. Which she really, really wanted. She had only ever known herself in two ways – being owned by another person, and excelling in academia. She had nothing outside of that.

She was sure that her therapist would help her try to find other things to fill her life with, but it couldn’t hurt to start with the most stable thing she’d ever had. She tried to calm her anxieties about the future. Hope had never been on her side, but neither had a shapeshifting professor/therapist.

Hopefully, he meant what he said.

[were-wolverine]

just watched the final doctor who special.... spoilers ahead

THEY FINALLY. GAVE THEM A HAPPY ENDING. WITH DONNA TOO!!! SHE WAS THE BEST CHOICE TO COME BACK TO. TO 'COME BACK HOME' ADFASF;UOHSDFOS

they're a familu ims sobbing they afinalyl let 10 be happy wven if technialy theyre 14

10 has always been the most traumatized honestly. it's esp evident in the one special with 10 11 and the War Doctor where 10 remembers exactly how many children were on Gallifrey when they "destroyed" it. he's also the angriest and most unhinged (Waters of Mars, his 'death' scene, def more i can't remember). he lost the most of all the new who doctors (rose, martha, donna, river song)

just remembered donna was 10's last companion. crying again. he was always meant to come back to her.

ALSO!!! IVE ALWAYS SAID THEY ACT LIKE SIBLINGS AND NOW ITS PRETTY MUCH CANON. "MY BEST FRIEND, MY NIECE, MY BROTHER-IN-LAW" LIKE CMON. THEY ARE SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!!

and he still gets to have a Rose in his life :,)

i am now going to make a bunch of crack hcs about the Doctor and Donna being a PTA-mom duo lol. everyone is like "why is this man with you? where is your husband" and donna is like "excuse you, this is my long lost brother who cares deeply for his niece. shaun is making dinner for us. never speak to me again."

ncuti seems like SO much fun omg im really looking forward to his adventures. and him being so caring towards 14 :,) their interactions were so sweet esp bc its also david passing on the mantle yk?

15 really said "you're going to therapy for both of us thanks" as if that's how it works. babe pls.

i was kinda disappointed that their TARDIS interiors are the same but alas, its probably way easier than making a whole new one so i get it. for a sec there i thought we were gonna get 9 & 10's TARDIS back but no :(

ALSO- the toymaker being afraid of 'the one who waits'... listen i know its unrealistic BUT i really want it to be Me/Ashildr because she is said to be 'waiting to play chess at the end of the universe' and i think it would be so cool. i want to see her again. which reminds me i really wanna write/read a fic of her and capt jack meeting bc they were both turned immortal by the doctor and then left behind. but anyway

i also think it could be river song or capt jack, maybe even clara. aside from them tho idk who else it would be (unless its someone from classic who or a new character)