#meanwhile everything ive built up over the years is crumbling and i want to give up
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#i feel like im slowly destroying my relationship with my mental illness#and i want to die tbh#ive been waiting for therapy all my life#feb 2020 i very clearly stated i need help with trauma because i have nightmares and comically bad self image#i didnt get emdr i got 6 months of talk therapy when i explicitly asked for not that because it's never helped#it's june 2023 and ive to wait at lwast 6 more months for an intake#by then it's nearly 4 years of waiting for trauma therapy#meanwhile everything ive built up over the years is crumbling and i want to give up#i cannot do this anymore#feeling alright for a few weeks before collapsing for months again#everything is too hard
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