#ive been trying to be into it a normal amount and ive given up. its literally all i think about all day

[shakshukagirl]

i am annoyingly and intensely into hockey right now so please feel free to block my tag -> hky if you understandably dont want to see that on your dash

[kuradex]

I wanna know about your art style. How you draw like that??

i tried putting down considerations as well as a (very) general step by step of what i do; if there's anything more specific you want me to explain lmk i guess?

first off, general (self imposed) constraints / purpose of project -- this informs what i draw & how i draw it

i.e. "kuradex" is pretty different from my normal art (my 5 latest rough illustrations):

or my monster hunter charms:

or my pokemon tcg contest illustrations that im not allowed to show until june (😉):

although i've said its for merch purposes, ive started drawing these because i wanted to practice conveying "liveliness" and noticing key features / nuances of a given design, but i didn't want to spend a large amount of time on each one.

so what i came up with is

i want to draw things on-model in terms of proportions ( + take note of weight / tapering of shapes / etc )

no backgrounds & minimal "props"

experiment with / practice line/texture/color/flow/rhythm/etc

spend <1 hr on each pokemon on average (this is a bit more difficult for me to track, but for example, the cyndaquil line took me less than 42min to color, combined, and means at some point in time instead of focusing on cleaning up the art as much as i can, i stop after cleaning up most of it)

that said, the pose & the rhythm/flow of lines are key in conveying liveliness, and if i have a concept in mind i usually end up going with it, but i may go thru a few if i dont.

i consider pokemon origin / lore or a key point in its design, and if i'm particularly stuck, i try looking up pokemon card illustrations for inspiration. (i noticed the research i do is essentially a truncated version of how Atsushi Furusawa does research before doing an illustration.

(& even despite all this i do get stuck sometimes and don't exactly understand a pokemon and just opt for "as cute or cool as i can make it i guess?", but i think it's part of the process...?) (theoretically things that are A Shape should be really easy to draw but with what i want to practice in perspective i find them difficult...)

this is from my latest paid req but these are my first sketches of chesnaught -- i was thinking of how one of its inspirations is a warrior / tanker from RPGs, so i drew a pose where it's shielding its face.

i do another pass and take note of details.

in general i draw overlapping shapes and erase (it's a bit visible on one of the spikes)

because i opt for quickness i start coloring at this point -- i just use a colored "color burn" sketch layer for the "lineart" & colorpick official art & lay down messy flats & set the color layer to 60%

60% multiply layer for shadows. i tend to use both hard and soft brushes

for bigger projects i would use 2-3 shadow layers to create more "layered" shadows

here i use overlay layer (60%). this is just throwing colors at it and seeing what works and doesn't work. i personally prefer to throw red under the eye and a yellow or blue near the top of the head. this is mostly done with a soft brush

before this point, everything is under the rough lines, but now i start drawing/painting over it

i just color pick the colors that have been laid down from the previous steps and clean up / render textures (making the green on its arms look fuzzy) / fixing anything that i forgot or looks too off (i.e. the spike on its shoulder and the way the tail curves)

I could potentially keep cleaning this up, but this is where i usually stop 🫡

[austinsastrology8991]

* DEGREE THEORY * and more...

this is just a theory, I love all degree theories and this is just my spin on the degree interpretations

Okay so I love the connotations towards Aries being 1°13°25° and that making the planet/point being aggressive and brash, and Taurus 2°14°26° making them more stable and growing into their power as time goes on, and so on with the rest of the signs; it makes good sense and I love reading the interpretations assigned to the signs inherent values. But I got a theory so Ive been connotating these degrees to the Tarot Card meanings, and well let me just go ahead and explain myself: 1° = The Magician - Represents creation, willpower, skills, but also negatively; cunning, vanity, or latent talents. > Now in comparison to the normal aries degrees - to me there are lots of similarities, aries is the starter - alike the magician - and they are both very aggressive in the attainment of their goals, which leads to vanity and well 'latent talents' from the lack of foresight. But on the positive they have plentyful amounts of willpower and are able to create things out of thin air since they have little foresight of potential consequences. 2° = the High Priestess - Represents Intuition, subconscious mind, spirituality, secret knowledge. but negatively; lack of self control, withdrawal, lack of self trust. These once again to me at least coincide with a lot of the taurus qualities > self control, self trust, withdrawal... Now i know you def could say its a lot like Pisces but I have a good counter. Look at the hanged man > Surrender, new perspectives, letting go... this is more in line with Pisces than the high priestess actually. Because the high priestess wants you to connect with YOUR higher power, the hanged man would rather you let go of your ego and connect the dots of the world around. But i digress. Also the connection between Taurus and Pisces is undeniable. Now im gonna switch what im sayin a bit but hear me out. > If you have a Pisces ascendant > aries is in your 2nd house (taurus) and we all know aries is something your constantly pursuing and are aggressive in the pursuit. Now if you have a Taurus ascendant > aries in the 12th house (pisces) you are aggresively trying to understand others because you have such a good understanding of yourself maybe learning from others would teach you even more (not to mention gemini in the 2nd... but i digress) okay so i understand this is a lot of information and maybe a little hard to digest so im not going to make it too long. But i have so many other theories and im just testing this post out to see how it is received. I could have gone on about each of the tarot card meanings, but i dont want to waste my time if it isnt going to be received well. However I do in my own spare time constnatly evaluate certain degrees with the connotated tarot cards... Like for example 8° is scorpio - power, mystery, intrigue, and well thats paired with the strength card... I mean im just saying i truly do believe there to be a strong connection between, tarot, astrology and well numerology also, i just wish we treated all the occults as the same subject - the occult because we are all just trying to discover secrets given from higher powers, so why we gotta act like they all cannot be correlated? also we've gone so backwards with our understanding of the occult > those witches back in the day just imagine what they all knew about the occult. and we are just over here trying to tell each other how sexy we are because we have leo and roar loudly or because you have scorpio you are sexy because you have a stinger.... like honestly sometimes i want yall to grow up.... ANYWAY i jumped around too much to be coherent, but well im just speaking my mind and yeah you let me know if this did something to your brain or if you fell asleep and want to be told that your a sexy demon seductress again...

[ctrl-alt-cel]

top ten puppyshipping fics?

so thrilled about this ask...unfortunately i cant give you a list of puppyshipping top 10 without taking like 3 months to reread every joukai fic ive ever loved, but i can give you a handful that ive enjoyed recently!!

Second Chance Christmas by Elexcia (30k)

ex-husbands joey and kaiba are forced to spend the holidays together after 3 years of co-parenting and scrupulously avoiding each other. (atticus and alexis are their kids and its the cutest thing ever!!!!) theres a ton of adorable family shenanigans & how much joey and kaiba work together to ensure atticus and alexis have happy childhoods free from their own personal baggage, mixed with the most heartwrenching late-night conversations between joey and kaiba bc despite everything, they still love each other, but they remember the pain it brought them and don't know if they can endure that again. the emotions and uncertainties are so raw oftentimes i will remember a quote from this fic and my heart will ache all over again its so fcking good!!! its been on my mind ever since i read it!!!

Meeting upon the threshold by Alecto (2.6k)

"kaiba has always been his own worst enemy" -- dsod!kaiba's dimension hopping lands him in an alternate timeline and face-to-face with a version of himself he doesn't recognize. this will always be the quintessential puppyshipping fic to me omg.. the amount of characterization covered in the brief interactions the two kaibas have is spectacular, and its so cool seeing just how different dsod!kaiba's dimension is compared to a dimension where kaiba chooses jounouchi instead. hell yeah

Double Date by thegraeyone (7.2k)

GOD this fic is so funny. kaiba tries so hard to have one normal, business-related work dinner with pegasus, but pegasus is more interested in having a double date between kaiba and his boyfriend joey + pegasus with his boyfriend bandit keith, and like, what else can kaiba do? for the sake of his company, he needs to play along with the most disasterous dinner date of his life if he wants pegasus to sign a damn contract already..!!!! the comedic potential for this specific set of characters makes me lose my mind & theres so many sweet moments within the fic too. i love it so much

Most Thrilling by Alecto (1.8k)

another funny fic! a cute moment with joey visiting his boyfriend kaiba during a lunch break, and silly conversations on how kaiba really does play to win. i love the brand of slight unhinged-ness kaiba has here in regards to jou omg... kaiba is intense when it comes to everything, of course that would include his dating life😭 & i adore how he manages to come across as infuriatingly romantic in his own type of way

The Weight of Water by phant0m (2.2k)

a gentle character piece, jounouchi has just moved out from the apartment he shares with his father, and for all the newfound freedom it should entail, he feels guilty about it more than anything. thankfully his boyfriend kaiba is there to stand by him. it's a kind look into the more somber parts of jou's character and i love the scene it sets :( oh my god jou and kaiba love each other so much..!!! *dies*

Shards by jirluven (2.9k)

more hurt/comfort >:) jounouchi flinches. kaiba isn't supposed to know what it means, its one of the unbroachable topics of their close yet purposely ambiguous relationship, but they both know each other far too well for that. i really enjoy how kaiba's perspective is written, with how he's most comfortable when he's logic-ing things out and surrounded by things he can easily categorize, but hes long given up on trying to categorize jounouchi, and its most evident when pushing himself into the unfamiliar territory of tactfully trying to comfort someone he cares about

Debt to Society by Elexcia (16k)

tech acquisitions lawyer seto kaiba is sentenced to 200 hours of community service after a barfight with rival lawyer & long-time nuisance ziegfried von schroder. to meet those hours, he's assigned to represent children in court as their legal advocate with social worker joey wheeler acting as his supervisor >:) (also featuring judge yugi & the doma arc kids!!) i think this setup is genius omg. with kaiba acting as a protector for underrepresented and vulnerable kids, of course his own personal (and messy) feelings are going to get involved whether he likes it or not!!! plus i love fics where jou and kaiba are colleagues working towards the same goal and moments where kaiba has to trust in and respect joey's skills. and i cant lie. seeing a worldly joey who's good with kids is an absolute treat

Lapse by AndroideQL (4.2k)

blossoming workplace romance!! jou is kaiba's assistant (yes, everyone is surprised about this outcome too) jou & kaiba are undoubtedly attracted to each other, but theres a couple of (important!!) things about it that theyre not entirely on the same page about. the banter and familiarity jou and kaiba have with each other in this fic is sooo charmingly affectionate, and there are several exchanges that make me laugh every single time. its a refreshing and cute fic that has me hopeful knowing that no matter what communication issues they get up to, they'll eventually get their shit straight

Small and Insignificant Things by Lafae (1.6k)

one more for the office romance train >:) joey, kaiba, and the conundrum of getting a good picture for your photo ID. short and sweet boyfriend shennanigans, i love how joey & kaiba play off of each other during these mundane moments between their hectic schedules and i feel like it perfectly captures the excitement of a fresh relationship and fondly discovering the more trivial details about your partner

Working My Way Back to You by SerenaJones (10k)

during an argument between jou and kaiba, jou angrily states that he wishes they never met. kaiba soon finds himself in a universe where they never did, and meets a rougher, more abrasive jounouchi who never quit his gang who just may be the key to his way back. the worldbuilding in this fic is super cool and extensively fleshed out! its so fascinating to experience how different the cast of yugioh and domino city itself would have become if canon had played out differently, and the interactions between kaiba and a jounouchi who isn't his jounouchi but is just charming is so much fun

Orpheus and Eurydice by saiikavon (3.4k)

post-dsod joey dies while chasing kaiba into the afterlife, and by the title, you can probably imagine what kaiba has to do to get him back. very fun kaiba characterization/study here, with how quick and confident he is to challenge death itself and rebuff anything that gets in his way. and! a bit of spoilers but i love when jou gets to be a little mean (lovingly!!!!) to kaiba hehehe

[sxddekarios]

Invisible String: Ch 2

More therapy babes!

AO3

“Am I supposed to drink blood?” Aspen asked indignantly. She’d been like this – a vampire? – for 2 months. She hadn’t drunk blood once. But she also had regular IV hook ups to keep her electrolytes balanced and pain managed. She ate regularly. So she couldn’t be a vampire, could she?

But then what was she?

Her therapist looked caught off guard for once. That wasn’t a great sign. “Typically, yes. But your case clearly isn’t typical, though that doesn’t come as a surprise to me at this point. We’ve still been giving you small amounts of Astarion’s blood – he’s the one who turned you. He works here, actually,” he added.

Dr. Silverbough ran a hand down his scarred face. “Your appetite has been fine though, and you’ve kept all of your food down. Which is great, it’s just… unprecedented. It’s something we’ll have to continue to monitor, along with your blood intake.”

Aspen blanched in disgust. What was she supposed to drink from? She knew the ‘humane’ thing to do is drink animal blood, but she’d personally rather drink from a consenting human than an animal. Maybe she would need to talk to Astarion about that. Her sire, of sorts, should be more equipped to answer her. She grew anxious at the thought of meeting another man.

She became used to her only contact with a man being within these four walls covered in paintings of nature, the room complete with a worn green couch for her to lounge on while she recounted her trauma. Tissues were sitting in a leafy box on the table next to her.

She cried often during their sessions, which had been mortifying at first. She sobbed so hard that she couldn’t speak for the whole hour – she’d just sit there shaking and blowing her nose. But Dr. Silverbough comforted her through it all. He said it was just as important as the talking part of their therapy. Emotions didn’t only come out through words.

“How do you feel about that?” Dr. Silverbough asked. He respected her struggle with verbalizing her feelings, yet he made sure to give her the space and coaxing she needed to open up.

Aspen sighed and took the chance to re-situate herself. This time, she laid on her back with her legs straight up. It probably looked ridiculous given there was no wall to rest her legs against, but it was comfortable. She blew a strand of dark hair out of her face before answering. “Weird. I guess I’m glad I don’t just have to drink blood… but it’s confusing. And I don’t even know the person who turned me. I’ve been consuming his blood, for Selune’s sake.”

The professor offered her a slight smile, though she was staring up at the ceiling. He had painted a soft blue sky on it to make it more comforting for students. “You can meet him, if you’d like. Whenever you’re ready. He’s a dear friend of mine, and I’m sure you two will get along swimmingly. He’s certainly excited to see you in less dire circumstances.”

Aspen laughed at the thought. “I doubt he’ll even recognize me when I’m not a bloodied pile of bruised tissues trying to hold together broken bones.” Her entire body was still covered in bruises, which was more unsettling now knowing that she had vampire blood coursing through her. It’s known for its healing properties, and here she was with dark purple and red marks taking up the majority of her skin.

Dr. Silverbough was thankfully used to Aspen’s coping mechanisms by now. He let out a small chuckle of his own, mentally conceding to her point. There was no way Astarion could recognize her if he didn’t introduce them.

There was no face to see that night, no features to correlate to the soul he’d brought back to life. He wasn’t going to verbalize this though. The girl across from him already had a pretty damn good idea of how she looked when they met.

He glanced down at his watch to see it was almost 4 PM. Their sessions normally started in the late afternoon, since Aspen needed to spend most of her day sleeping, and lasted until she was talked out for the day. Often times, they would speak again for another hour after dinner, or before she went to sleep. Or tried to, that is. Her insomnia was wickedly cruel to her.

They had been talking for over 2 hours. She needed to eat. He asked, “What are you thinking about for a snack?”

Aspen turned her head to grin at him. “One of your amazing acai bowls,” she replied dreamily. The fruity sweetness was the only thing getting her through most days. She wanted a change though, so she decided to go for it. If he trusted her progress enough to tell her why and how he brought her back, maybe he trusted her enough to go on a little adventure with him.

Dr. Silverbough returned her smile and stood up, grateful that the ceilings in the castle allowed for someone of his height to move around without incurring head injuries. The words, “coming right up,” were just leaving his mouth when he noticed Aspen’s mischievous smirk. He raised an eyebrow as he paused in front of his chair.

“Can I come with you?” Aspen pleaded with wide eyes. “I want some fresh air.” She had to see some of what surrounded her. And she seriously did need to go outside and touch grass. It was good for her, and her therapist knew it.

He hesitated while taking in her hopeful expression. “Are you ready for that? We won’t go far, but I’ll take you outside and around one of the kitchens if you’re up for it.” He didn’t want to push her, didn’t want her to feel panicked by a new space and new people. But the route he was planning on shouldn’t be busy at this time of day, and he’d be there for her in case she needed a moment.

She gave him a tentative smile. “I think so,” she spoke softly as she lowered her legs and sat upright. She winced at the pain in her side from some of her stitches pulling with the movement.

Dr. Silverbough had been holding a hand out for her. “I told you not to do that,” he frowned. Aspen just smiled before finally grabbing his hand to help her up. It was time to get a better look at her new life.

[rainbowgaez]

i saw a comic or something about this the other day but i can't find it now. it was about learning to do makeup and one of the things it goes over is trying to follow a tutorial only for the person following the tutorial to be frustrated when their final product didn't look as good as the final result in the tutorial, and it got me thinking about my own journey with learning makeup and how ive managed to mostly steer clear of that frustration.

learning how to do makeup well is definitely intimidating and a lot harder than it may initially seem (especially if you're like me, a trans woman who didn't approach it until she was 30). in the beginning, it feels kind of humiliating. pretty much no matter what, your first few times are going to end in you looking like you let a toddler do your makeup. that's okay, though. that's completely normal, and you should try to be comfortable with that going into it. and that's part of why i think when you're first learning makeup, you should avoid tutorials for anything outside of the very basics, and try to focus on finding out what you want out of doing makeup instead.

the reason people manage to make things look so good in tutorials is because they're showing you how to do something they've probably done a million times in a row. even if you're given the exact methodology, the same tools and materials, you're probably not going to get it right the first time (and if you do, you won't the second time). and that's really irritating! because you follow everything they do to the best of your ability, and when you compare your results to theirs, it just doesn't match up even though it feels like it should. but i think that end result comparison is what generates a lot of frustration.

i very specifically used the phrasing "looking like you let a toddler do your makeup" earlier because, well, what is a toddler but a very young, inexperienced person? of course it's going to look like that when you're starting out. being an adult may allow you to understand things easier than a child would, but your ability to execute is always going to be hampered by lack of experience, and the only way to get your hands to do it right is by going through the motions enough times until you feel confident—the amount of times being something that will vary from person to person.

the other reason i think avoiding tutorials in the beginning is important is personal angle. what you want out of doing makeup and what someone giving tutorials might have wanted aren't always going to align. i feel like a good majority of people approach makeup like they have to be good at it (as nebulous as that concept is), and while that's a perfectly valid way to go about it if it works for you, i think that can end up making the whole thing feel way more rigid than it actually is.

something that's really common with tutorials for any kind of art form (and that irritates me to no end) is how much people will focus on "DON'T DO THIS THING BECAUSE ITS WRONG," and the reason it annoys me is because, on more than one occasion, The Wrong Thing i've been told to avoid is instilled in my brain as The Law ends up working really well for me actually. this is something i have experienced a LOT as a musician.

so when i started learning makeup, i approached it like i would any other art form—an open landscape of self-expression i can cultivate through uninhibited exploration. instead of following the dots on someone else's map, i charted my own path.

to put it in a less pretentious way: i saw an excuse to figure out how to do cool shit by drawing on my face. specifically, i got really into eye makeup because i could get really colorful and creative with it. if my username doesn't make it obvious enough, i love bright, saturated colors of all kinds, and drawing them on my eyes is a really great way to express that in a way that's inherently unique to me. eventually i learned how to do other stuff, too, but this method of exploring on my own allowed me to pick and choose the things i like to do the most, which made the experience a lot more fun and rewarding.

once i started focusing on that, i felt more comfortable with messing it up. mistakes looked less like fuck ups and more like opportunities to figure out how to make something weird Work. it got easier to justify putting on makeup regardless of whether or not im leaving the house that day (and most of the time i don't end up leaving when i do it lol), and easier to keep it on even when it didn't pan out the way i imagined it. i just approached it like i was drawing a daily picture. and i certainly ended up looking ridiculous on quite a few occasions—ill never forget asking one of my roommates how i look the first time i ever did makeup and her pausing for several seconds before saying "...it's a start."—but because i was doing it for the fun of it, that didn't bother me.

i was lucky enough to have my older sister show me how to do basic things a couple times in the beginning—stuff like what are the basic materials/tools you need, and what's the most efficient order to apply things—but something she always emphasized was that there's no wrong way to do it, and that i should always experiment if i feel inclined. because everyone has different tools, everyone has different materials, and even though a lot of the tools/materials her and i use are the same, there's two fundamental differences: we both have a different canvas, and we both have different ideas of what we want. and so does everyone else.

you might not learn as efficiently as someone else—it might take you months to figure out something that took someone else only a few days to nail—but efficiency shouldn't be your goal. besides, that's going to happen regardless of how you learn it. do it because you want to. or don't do it at all! do what you want lol.

[terraliensvent]

guys i think civ isnt satan (edit: they lied)

EDIT: please see this post, civ played everyone like a fiddle and blatantly lied about having nothing to do with the pet species deletion. keeping this og post up to show how dedicated they were to painting their narrative

so, a few screenshots relating to their bulletin were given to me (you can see my initial thoughts here)

now as with all breaking news there are revisions to be made with new info

(all screens can be found in this imgur gallery, may be out of order because imgur is dummy stupid)

so it turns out, civ and coy actually werent contacted prior to the decision. i do agree this could have been handled differently and there should have been more of a discussion around it, HOWEVER im more inclined to the side of current terra staff. for one, they came to the decision of one adopt every two months for each staff member as compensation for their work on the team. their reasoning for cutting down coy and civ's amounts is to be fair to everyone especially considering coy and civ arent actively working on the species anymore. i dont necessarily agree with the decision to cut customs though, since people have to actively seek them out for that and its more akin to a comm service. i also want to note that i can understand why terra staff wouldnt want to negotiate about the number of adopts with civ and coy, considering that this is how it went last time

you can see in the imgur screens the original terms, notably that civ and coy collectively were allowed to make 12 adopts a month. i can see how it would be seen as unfair to not be able to be compensated as much as the people who left the place to die.

throughout the screens it seems civ is being a lot more reasonable, i think more discussion should have been had with them and after introspecting, it probably wasnt right for them to be banned, however, i dont see why they couldnt just be unbanned. i think that theyre getting lumped in with coy severely here and truthfully that isnt fair to them. i dont know how i would go about the downgrade from 6 to 2, but what i do know is they were being pretty polite about it

coy on the other hand...

throughout the screens they just seem to keep throwing salt into the wound, working through loopholes and being petty just for the sake of it. their behavior i would argue is still deplorable, and their unwillingness to work constructively is probably the reason why they and civ werent included in the discussion. ive gone over coy a million times before, these screens just keep hammering the point home

besides that, there are a couple other things to note:

Tycho's lack of presence

Tycho (furthermore referred to as cal) diverting the discussion to others is something that has happened before, and can be a point of criticism against him, but honestly my personal opinion is that shit happens sometimes. cal has very valid reasons to want to pull away from the discussion, especially with the myo compensation event he seems to be giving his best despite the situation. i am willing to give cal a lot of leeway when it comes to being stressed because we have seen the work that he and his team are putting in. i mean ffs we already have new pet species concepts not even a day after the old ones were removed. hes got a lot on his plate, and coys un-reasonability and demanding things be done NOW would drive anyone crazy even if they werent already dealing with species AND irl responsibilities. you could argue that cal shouldnt be in a place of ownership if he cant take the heat which is a valid criticism, however i think that hes a fine owner, good even, its just that these situations keep popping up one after another and he just cant keep up. these arent things that normal species owners deal with

"disgusting"

so regarding these screens (because i know some civ/coy whiteknights are gonna try and use it to excuse all their actions)

listen, was it the most professional way to respond? no. but also: (assuming it was cal who said these) i would argue this is a totally valid argument. granted, probably not to be directed at civ, but still valid. if i was dealing with the same continued problems from people who arent supposed to even be a part of the project anymore, i would have blown my lid way worse. this comment isnt even that egregious to me, its just that civ and coy have created such an echo chamber that any criticism is seen as sacrilege, and given cal's previously mentioned stressors its completely understandable for him to react harshly when they have to deal with coy drilling up his ass and being petty for no reason

civ's final words

the screens speak for themselves here. i do think there are some things to be criticized relating to civs bulletin (particularly comments painting them as this poor sad puppy dog tossed in the rain) but ultimately they are not as much of a villain in this as coy is. best course of action honestly is to just leave them alone, they were pretty professional in the screens and just seem to want to be done with it

final verdict? coy is an ass. civ kind of isnt. it could have been done differently but i really understand why it wasnt. cal needs a break. new mods are still doing good in my eyes.

and terravent fans eat good tonight

[gloomforrestrunes]

I have a Visual I'm putting in the ask box because it's been bouncing in my brain and I Can't Draw at the moment

Trans Laxo moment, the boy crying a bunch when he comes out (it's probably a little terrifying for the guy) and for the effect, the tiny lashes he has kinda wash away with the tears as well

He's out, but it's RUNES, he's far from outta the woods just yet 💔

ahhh oh my goodness i love this. i need to be more annoying about laxo being trans bc of how much comfort it brings me. <3

i imagine both coming to the realization that he's trans as well as realizing that he also now has to come out about it is very terrifying given the environment he grew up in! also coming from my experience alone, you tend to assume the worst when it comes to coming out to others, especially about gender stuff because people do not know how to be normal about it! i imagine he told huxley and pepper first (pepper already had a Feeling given their first interaction with him but they didn't say anything due to wanting him to figure it out himself) and then told kenta. (who would've been around 9-10 at this time and her reaction was just "oh i have a brother now :) thats cool :)") and honestly i think he'd try not to tell raven and thistle just out of genuine fear of how they'd react- though i imagine they catch one due to kenta being a child at the time and not fully understanding that its a secret. ive spoken more about raven's stance on laxo's identity in an answer to an ask a bit ago but her reaction is basically "ok. 😐 whatever. 😐 fine. 🙄" and thistle doesnt really. see him as his child anyway so he just really couldnt care less.

the last sentence is very true as well. laxo still has an overwhelming amount of horrors ahead of him, but at least he'll be experiencing them as his true self. <3

the lashes falling is a good idea as well, and got me thinking about how i treat eyelashes in my designs. because i LOVE drawing big lashes on characters but also dont really wanna be associated with the "hyper-feminized animal character" trope. so i think its more of a design/story-telling choice that the characters themselves aren't really aware of which just indicates whether a character is choosing to present themself more feminine, masculine, or somewhere in-between, and isnt really meant to accurately indicate their gender!

[morphogenetic]

Mediaposting 2023, #35: Banana Fish (anime)

[said while vibrating very quickly and typing out like 20 different bullet points] i like this series a normal amount

okay so. non-spoiler thoughts:

step 1 YOU SHOULD READ/WATCH THIS. it does have content warnings for literally everything you can possibly think of as needing a common content warning (drug abuse, sexual assault, racism, and thats absolutely just the tip of the iceberg) but my fucking god. no wonder it's been such an influential piece of media on literally every jp anime/manga crime story (especially the BL ones) written since

for a series that is literally one of the early genesis points of BL as a genre i was ABSOLUTELY expecting more actual BL than was in this LOL. not that i'm really upset, bc honestly i really like the way that ash and eiji's relationship is written in a shoujo-y "they obviously care about each other a lot but it's not going to be outright romance" kind of way. bc like, honestly? that makes it way more emotionally satisfying (and devastating). i think it would actually make less sense if anything more happened In the story (though more happening in the epilogue wouldnt hurt LOL)

how the FUCK was this published in a shoujo magazine

the time period change to modern day from the mid-80's has both helped and hindered this series bc like. on one hand. much easier to do everything with a phone. also the update to shorter's character design was excellent,10/10 no notes. on the other hand. the Everything About It makes it so obvious that it was written to be a product of its time.

speaking of ^ ash turning from A Guy Who Knows How To Use A Computer into a hacking genius is so. why. i mean you can update it for sure but Why Like This

god i wish this had more room to breathe sometimes bc the exposition goes WILDLY fast sometimes. why did they try and do 19 volumes in 24 episodes. the 39 episodes that the director wanted would have been so nice to have

that said: the emotional moments that i actually give a shit about and that make up the core of the weight of the story are given what they deserve. at least up to volume 5 they are. gestures at ep 9? and 22 with a pained smile

i literally could write an essay about why it works so well as a spin on the american-style gangster story even while it definitely has flaws. and how its influenced so many fucking things. my god.

it has flaws for SURE but the rest is so good that i don't care. which is rare for me (gestures at nirvanai/neo twewy being other examples)

spoiler thoughts under the cut (like full-very-ending-of-series spoilers) but YEAH UH I LIKE THIS THING CAN YOU TELL BY HOW MUCH I WROTE ABOUT IT.

it does kind of annoy me that literally all of the canon-MLM (probably gay but you know) guys are horrible people lol. like wow love how the gay predator stereotype is on full display here. feeeeels baaaaad. i know i know asheiji homoeroticism i am ON THAT TRAIN

however yut-lung being feminine out of a wish to carry on his dead mom's legacy is kind of a slay. ive seen people go "ugh it sucks that one of the villains is a feminine man' but while he is definitely not a good person hes one of the less terrible villains, just like. as a person. hes also a teenager in shitty circumstances just with way more power and sway

here's the part where I admit that I was spoiled on the ending so it didn't hit as hard for me OOPS. however. the anime DOES leave it open-ended and it fucking irritates me that anime-only people are like "boo i hate the ending bc ash dies!!!" when it is LITERALLY AMBIGUOUS. i have heard that the manga is less ambiguous about it but :') oh well. anime-onlys what are you doing

speaking of ^ i actually like the ending. like i think a lot of people who absolutely hate it must not have a lot of familiarity with gangster movies as a genre bc it is a genre convention that the Main Gangster dies in the end. granted this was a hayes code thing which the manga definitely did not have to do LOL but its definitely supposed to feel unfair bc ash's damn LIFE is unfair.

however i'm glad the anime makes the ending ambiguous bc that feels like a more fitting end. like ash's life was always in limbo, considering what he was doing, so making his life in limbo at the end too? Good. Yes. Do That

the fucking. everything with shorter and the sa-yo-na-ra bit. i die. that shit is so emotionally painful

i know this sounds weird but i kind of wish they dragged out the "what the hell does banana fish mean" thing a LIIIITTLE longer but by that i mean like, halfway point of the series. like they could have used a little more time to figure out what it is. also that would have let shorter live a little longer ay lmao that said this criticism also almost definitely applies to the manga soooo. you know

[rlljayhon]

12/28/24 - a new type of low

we just exchanged christmas gifts today and it made me really happy to see they enjoyed my gifts, and i really like the gift they got me, but idk i guess everything about the whole holiday season and what not has taken quite a toll on me i guess idk

they posted a bunch of pictures of that guy and they said how much they missed them, like idk while we were talking they went back to texas for a bit they missed me a lot too but i did not get a post like that LMAO and idk its not just that, like they share everything with this guy, when they got the gift they took a picture and sent it to him, and i guess obviously thats where all of my feelings come from

it sucks that im like still working on getting over them because they were like the #1 thing on my mind and now even when we are hanging out they are constantly updating him on whatever and it makes me sad that like idk i just feel like they would rather be talking to them at any given moment

that is totally fair too, they can do what they please, i am just sad bc it felt like as soon as this guy came back into their life they pretty much ended things with me

a lot of things hurt about that situation, it makes me feel so little and insecure because like, what does this guy have or what do they like about him so much that i dont have or like what about me made them move on so easily

i guess its also me reaching my core problems of insecurity bc like i just have so much self doubt in myself and i feel so worthless

i wish i didnt care so much about love

i wish it wasn’t the only thing that truly makes me sad

i wish i didnt always put all my eggs into one basket, but idk it was the cutest and most fun and amazing basket that ever came into my life yknow

more and more i think about seeing a therapist

i think everyone should go to therapy if they have the means to do so, but idk i also think its a bad sign bc i am realizing how poor my mental health is getting

i feel like the life has left my eyes and i am forcing myself to be the happy silly guy everyone thinks of me as

i have no tears to cry, and trust me, ive tried.

i wish i still wasnt so hung up on this

they never showed the same amount of interest as i did so i dont know why im so sad

i think its also bc we didnt continue our relationship because they wanted to explore their queerness, but now they are like super into this guy, which also makes me feel really insecure, it makes me feel like that was just them trying to be nice to let me down easy

yeah i just think the hardest part is having to see them so often, like since we are in the same org i am just bound to see them so often yknow

i mean im definitely a little mad at them, but i am more mad at myself for getting my hopes up

i still see myself being their friend, im still very grateful to have them, im sad that i now have this like lingering thought/longing for them in the back of my mind

if they end up together with that guy i will be happy for them, but i will also be so emotionally devastated because idk it just makes all my insecure thoughts feel valid

idk what my issues is around love, but my dear joma and mao please bless me with a rev gamer girl who loves me for me and please bless me with a partner who feels like home, where i dont have to doubt myself or my partners feelings, someone who can help me grow and make me feel safe

god i long for that so badly, i feel like i have always been the lover/giver, so what do i need to do to be the one to receive

or maybe just someone who sees me for me and loves me for it idk

i wanna be over this and feel normal again

[dandie-on-the-wind]

being a parent at 21

my son is a huge priority. i'm too young to have this much responsibility. i've had my son for over 5 years, he occupies my every waking thought. when i find i haven't been thinking of him, i get really upset, as if he picked up on the fact that he was a background track in my brain while i'm at work. in reality: he's at home sleeping on my blanket, dreaming about us going on adventures, and can't wait for me to get home.

i worry i'm repeating the cycle of what my mom did to me, unto my son. moving every few years, shifting authorities and therefore inconsistent conditioning which in his case is why he's 'broken'. we talked about our experiences raising him and she admitted she would coddle him and not keep up his training. i knew that; i was trying to train him too and he was confused at my attempts. she calls him dumb and cute and a baby. she doesn't believe in his potential.

I don't enjoy drawing the similarities to our parenting styles. For instance; I wouldn't say i was given a choice in raising him. that was implicit, i was told he was bought for me and therefore i assumed i would add him to my load of things i was already taking on. i would have given anything to not go to school and train him all day. he was one of the things i occupied that didn't bring me immense sadness or hopelessness, i became proud of his progress and how his personality showed itself to me.

when she had given him a task or command, she wouldn't demonstrate it properly or laugh or get frustrated and give in. i tried to tell her that he will learn her behavior and apply it to every human interaction. (ive known copius amounts of dog related information for years)

today we saw another dog on the walk. i tried to calm myself so he wouldn't pick up on my energy. the other walkers got to about 7 feet away from us. the owner asked me how the dog park was. i said it was wet but usually fun! then he started his howling scream. he does it everytime we see a dog and i don't let the leash out for him to say hello. I want to, i feel immeasurably guilty about holding him back. at that point they walk away quickly.

all i could think about was saying its okay and watching him try to run around the trash bins to say hello. I kept thinking: this is what parents do. they see the social risks and danger before the child and act accordingly. because this is how my boy has always behaved: he seldom gets social connection. the dogs all get steered away from him because hes loud and big.

I promise he just wants friends he just doesn't know the normal way. I promise hes a good boy, very smart and happy and trying his best. i promise he would love it if you just gave him a chance. it's not his fault he was raised like this. give him love please, i just want him to be happy.

are we still talking about the dog?

[doctor-says-im-alright]

Hey! This is what I do! I have some thoughts to add.

I started working in the addiction field as a behavioral health technician. A degree should absolutely be required for that job, but I cant make that happen. I worked there for 2 years, then I moved on to something like a caregiver, but for developmentally disabled adults and I was community protection (they were criminal but jail wasnt right for them), now I work as a child development specialist. Mind you I dont have my degree at all and I make 25/hr and have become very qualified, to the point Ive been turned down for being overly qualified.

Truly, its worth trying. I never thought Id want to be in the field as someone whos often been on the other side and in hospitals and under care of people like me. But if you have been in their shoes, honestly? Youll be an extremely valuable member of the team. Im serious. My jobs have given me extensive training and certifications, I am very knowledgeable of medical things now. At the rehab I ended up administering medications, which I now know an incredible amount of and can help people advocate about them and even myself.

I will say, though, that some of the worst people youre going to meet will be working at these places. I have loved every client Ive had (its also worth mentioning that they are at a hard time in their life - so yes you may be cussed out, have things thrown at you, or people trying to hit you. That is a reality of working with suffering people that you need to accept. It can be scary but you do get good at dealing with it).

It is extremely unfortunate. Most places I have worked and heard about from coworkers have this issue. I have never been bullied as severely as I was in the addiction job. I became a lead and I was hit with things, threatened to be punched, I had one person who would intimidate me by staring at me and getting in my space, and who would make up stories about me and pit the clients against me to get me fired.

It wasnt all that different in my next job. My current one is the odd one, the only one Ive heard of from anyone that has a wonderful staff team. Of course theres issues, but I trust them.

I love love love love my job. I work in now a really intense level, my kids are violent and I am in charge of their rehabilitation and guaranteeing safety. The job is not roses. Ive been whipped with pee soaked jeans, spit on, have had people charge at me and hit me, my developmentally disabled client once held my coworker hostage and threatened me with a can opener.

That absolutely isnt all the time. Depending on your job and specialty, may not even happen at all. But its the worst of it. It can be scary, but I say it too because you will grow so much from it. The addiction job was generally pretty safe, and a lot of the developmentally disabled adults were fine (due to my experience in the field I get paired with more challenging cases).

They are always hiring (yeah its for a reason. Again the staff drama can be really hard), but they will pay for your training, many will pay for your schooling, it doesnt pay too terribly either especially as you start getting the experience. The process is pretty fast, too.

I wont sugarcoat the worst parts of the job. Go in prepared. But I love the job. Also, you will grow rapidly. This field will give you experience that can help you handle anything in your life. Im serious, its like practice for every situation you might come across. You can learn how to be assertive right alongside your clients learning it. Youll become accustomed to things, so dont worry too much if something is unnerving at first (like giving someone a shower or giving medications). Itll become normal, but that really builds something inside of you.

Personally it feels like meditation to go to work. Not always, but I can leave myself at the door and focus on someone else and ensure they are happy.

But also yes you will get hired, they always want people

Btw, if you really just Need A Job (tm)

I'd really recommend looking into care work

Care work here is specifically being a home care aid, a care aid or assistant at any kind of residential home.

This for usually for elderly or disabled adults - and those are the ones that tend to be most entry level, from what I've seen, but also for mental health, addiction recovery etc. (With the obvious caveat that some of these jobs will be more emotionally intense than others)

I'm so serious about this guys. I was applying to jobs in care work for just three weeks, starting a couple days before Christmas, and in that time I got three interviews, two jobs offers, and five additional interview requests

Care work needs people CONSTANTLY

because it's a huge sector but very hard for them to keep staff long-term. Partly because it can be high burn-out, and there's definitely toxic places out there you should watch out for. And partly because a lot of people think care work is beneath them

AND they ACTUALLY MEAN IT when they say they're entry level. Because it's so hard for them to get staff that a lot of them will advertise super aggressively that they will train you themselves. A lot of them will straight up pay for your CPR and First Aid certifications, once they hire you, too (and you can get a leg up on applications by getting a CPR/First Aid certification for like. $30 to $80, at least in the US). They also accept experience taking care of elderly/disabled/etc. family members as real experience

Like, obviously don't do it if you hate taking care of people, but if you're open to it, it's probably by far your best shot of getting hired rn, statistically

(eta: Genuinely disclaimer that it can be super taxing emotionally and large portions of the industry are indeed fucked, and def don't take a job in this field if you're gonna be an asshole to the people you're caring for, but sometimes you just need whatever job you can get.)

Seriously, though, the first time I applied for a care work job (in October 2023, yes short timeline, like I said there's some toxic workplaces etc. out there), I applied to like ten or fifteen jobs over the course of a week or so. Within three weeks, I was working.

(And they did provide all of the training, fwiw)

If you need a job and no one is hiring, seriously consider looking into it

[naughtyintrusivethoughties]

lifes honestly been so much better recently. like aside from processing a retarded amount of trauma ive dealt with since i was a kid and even recently (circa 2016-2021), i think ive gotten past a good chunk of it

my dad sucks is really the take away. my mum does too at points but less so than my dad. shes just kinda fucked up from her own bs and thats okay. she tried processing it and going to therapy, and my dad did the opposite

ive kinda just accepted ill never have any kind of relationship wt my sperm donor again, and it feels really good. he put me through so much shit. been telling my mum whats been happening over the years and shes fucking HORRIFIED. she broke down after i told her some of the shit hes done over the years. like a part of me knew it was bad but it was so normalized that i never thought about how fucked up it all was until actually verbalizing it

the bastards been stealing shit from the house too to sell of for drug money. he hasnt lived here for a year but hell still show up when no ones around and take shit. hes stolen shit from me too, thankfully we have cameras everywhere so my mum was able to tell him to give me back my shit and he actually did. but then he stole other shit from the house to sell so it kinda cancelled out lol

he SUUUUUCKS

other than that shit, life been okay. positives being ive been dating my bf for a year now and were pretty happy with eachother. hes talked about marriage and stuff and thats pretty cool. id marry the shit out of him

works been great too. i transferred to another building and its been goin super good. i got promo offers my first week, and months later (ie now) im being told that they wanna promo me to a management position which is fucking fantastic. i like MONEY, and i like that this building actually appreciates the effort im putting in. i had people rooting for me at my last building, but ive been fucked over way too many times at that building to stick around, so its nice to be given some actual direction now

my ex best friend is apparently getting fat and that made me laugh pretty hard. for all the shit she put me through and how insecure she is, enjoy the extra weight queen xoxoxo

ive been really enjoying paddle boarding recently. my bf and i go out on the water and just kinda chill and listen to music and eat n have beer and its really relaxing. im also actually tanning and not staying super pasty white LOL

im a LITTLE tequila fancy rn so im probably gunna log off now, but im gunna try to journal again, and this is the easiest way to do it. gunna try to stick to it

[melancholyhime]

things ive been recalling, if someone even cares (if not its ok, bc its for me to write out and look at)

a boy from my childhood who loved me very much, his was instant and mine was slow and full of teenage shyness/awkwardness/undiagnosed autism. our friend pretended he saw a squirtle in my pool and swam away leaving us alone. the boys hands shook as he cupped my face. i remember that even now. his hands started to shake whenever he would touch my waist. he never touched me without asking or me reaching out first. he was a dork and a nerd and such a good son. 2 dogs. but my god he lied. he lied about a piece of his life i guess bc he wanted to seem cooler to me. he never had to be, and i never said i wanted anything differently. but i could never fully agree to be with him bc when i called him out in the lie, he wouldnt come clean bc it had gone on for so long. his lie was more important than telling me the truth, and it was the single door that remained closed between us. ive never been as intimately close to anyone ever again.

i said yes to a boy in college when he asked me to marry him. he asked me because we were fighting again. we were better as friends but couldnt see that bc of how much we had poured in to one another. i genuinely loved him. but i loved a lot of ppl, bc to me (always) love is not a singular definition. i choose the ppl i love and i love them different amounts and ways and quantities and reasons. he couldnt accept that: "you dont know what love is" i will never forget those words. we on and offd again for years. we didnt marry. i kept a letter he had wrote me until my actual first fiancee found it and accused me of still loving him (of course i did but again, different ways amount etc) so i tore it up to prove that i "didnt love him any more". i regret it to this day.

i tried women and polyamory bc i didnt fit anywhere. i didnt fit. no one stayed because i didnt know how to make them. i even called myself fridgid bc thats what i was right? like a broken toy that had an essential inner gear twisted out and it still worked but now it didnt do one particular function. i was pansexual, but no that wasnt right either. a partner touched me and i felt disgusted.

my last boyfriend hand made me cherry pastries one morning at the beginning of the relationship. my roomate kept telling me he wasnt good but that one act kept me attached for so long because it was so kind. and simple. and full of care. it meant he really cared (and maybe he did). he always wanted sex. i did not. he never forced himself on me but i felt so guilty that i would give it to him and feel icky afterwards. when we finally broke up we still had a few months on our lease together so instead of trying to "work it out" like he begged and i agreed to, he brought a girl home and fucked her loudly so i could hear what i hadnt given him, what he could have always had if i was just a normal loving, giving girlfriend who wanted to please her man, and then ignored me for the rest of the lease until 2 weeks before we moved out, when he apologized and asked if we could be friends.

and finally. finally. i googled the demi/ace flag. of course id seen it in lgbtqa posts but just five articles in of frantic reading tears streamed down my face because i finally found the ppl that felt the same way i did. i wasnt broken i was just made another way and the relief that i felt when i saw the explaination for everything i had saw and felt within and outside of myself.. i can never express the warmth that crept back into me that i hadnt realized i had lost bc i had stopped loving myself a long time ago bc i had been so busy trying to love others the right way and ignored myself--the worst thing u can actually do. all the self loathing evaporated. all the evil mean down talking i did to myself on the daily trickled quickly to a stop. i stopped calling myself broken and frigid, i stopped feeling i was made incorrectly, i stopped believing those people (including the evil part of myself) were right.

i am 38. it took that long.

[1kook]

skirt chasers — drabble iv

THIS IS A SKIRT CHASERS DRABBLE - FIND THE OTHERS HERE ! SUMMARY Jungkook was a man. A skirt chaser. He could only withstand so much torture before he broke, and seeing your gorgeous, smooth legs on display after so many weeks of starvation awoke an ancient being inside of him. WARNINGS JK POV!!!, attempted solo masturbation, k*ssing, jk’s extensive knowledge of pornos, grinding, cunnilingus, face sitting, spit kink, light choking, praise kink, self nipple play, a love for boobies, unprotected sex, use of the pull out method, i love u kink, its kinda hinted tht oc has a somnophilia kink? not rlly but tagging just in case -_- RATING m (18+) WC 6.3k this can't even classified as a drabble anymore wtf 

NOTES i have had this in my drafts since may 3. it is december 21. everyone point n laugh. anyway i very much love stimbo sc jk and i think he’s very cool so here’s a whopping 6k of the inner mechanisms of his big nerdy, college hottie brain <3

He doesn’t notice you’ve drifted off until he’s three solid paragraphs into his semester-long research paper. “Babe, can you toss me my charger it’s over…” 

 Jungkook swears he’s gonna take every single one of those stupid skirts and burn them to ashes. They had done their duty well, had given him the girlfriend of his dreams, but now they were just pushing their luck. What was once the epitome of a cute and sweet girlfriend, has now become the bane of Jungkook’s existence. He loathed them, he hated them, he could go twenty million decades without ever seeing them again because the torture they inflicted upon him was borderline inhumane. 

 Holy fuck, he knew you were gorgeous— hello, he was your boyfriend, thinking you were gorgeous was very high on the list of requirements you searched for in someone of his position —but he’s absolutely positive that you’re probably the sexiest woman he’s ever seen in all his twenty-two years. And Jungkook’s seen a lot of porn. Like, a lot. 

He can’t help himself. Before Jungkook knows it, he’s rolling his desk chair over to where you’re sprawled across his bed, skin so soft where it presses against his pillow, lips so plush, and he’s pretty sure there’s a tiny, tiny droplet of drool begging to escape from between your puckered lips. Normally, he’d tease you to hell and back for this, knows how flustered you become when he catches you off guard, but today he lets it slide in favor of focusing on something else about your dozing form. 

It’s the soft curve of your hips from where you lay on your side, smooth legs tucked close to you, and that goddamn pleated skirt giving you absolutely no protection from the eyes of the world around you. Luckily, he made sure to lock the door to his room when you came over today. And he’s almost positive Taehyung isn’t home anyway. So there’s no potential roommate to see you here, cuddled against Jungkook’s teddy bear, blue lace panties tucked between your folds. 

They were his favorite. 

Adorable and soft, and he knows that particular style— the cheeky kind —is your preferred style, because it’s the one he sees almost every time the two of you fuck. Seamless, because you hate when they tug against your skin, and baby blue simply because it was your favorite color. He can’t recall the last time they had been so exposed like this. 

God, how many times had this same situation occurred? You dropping by to encourage him to do his homework, before eventually falling asleep and leaving him to his own devices. A lot of times, Jungkook guesses, because each and every time you wake up and nab one of his protein bars from the stash by his bed. Jungkook’s gone through four boxes in the last month. 

But how many times had this happened with you in a skirt? Never. This was a rarity. 

As the year progressed and yours and Jungkook’s relationship reached new levels of intimacy and adoration, Jungkook is sad to say the skirts had begun appearing less and less. It was winter and, unlike the furnace that was Jungkook’s body, he’s pretty sure you were a cold-blooded reptilian at this point, always leeching off of him for warmth. So since you couldn’t stand the cold, the skirts slowly faded into the background, replaced by Jungkook’s second favorite: the leggings. 

He was no complainer, Jungkook respected your decisions! He wasn’t going to pressure you into wearing those cute tiny skirts he loved so much just because it fueled some PornHub-esque fantasy in his brain, especially not as a harsh winter descended upon you and the days became colder. He would not risk a sick girlfriend in the name of a horndog daydream. 

But holy mother of pearl, Jungkook was a man. A skirt chaser. He could only withstand so much torture before he broke, and seeing your gorgeous, smooth legs on display after so many weeks of starvation awoke an ancient being inside of him. 

Sure he’d seen them every time you guys fucked— duh. But this was not the same. It was different, seeing the tender skin of your inner thigh when he knew you weren’t trying to, your skirt stuck between you and the bed as you shifted about. It was different, knowing he could so easily have you, just flip up the skirt and tug your underwear to the side, not having to worry about fighting your leggings or skinny jeans down your legs. It was different and it was good, so painstakingly good, to have you in the skirt, but the worst part was Jungkook couldn’t even do anything because you were fucking sleeping. 

He’d subconsciously pictured you like this for weeks, sprawled out on his sheets in the flimsiest clothing and ready for him to just slide right in, but Jungkook was a good boy—you’d told him as much just last week when he’d paid the bus fare for that ragtag group of teenagers, smiling up at him like he was your entire world. Was he sometimes a little too mean, a little too wild? Yes. But at his core, Jungkook lived for your praise. He couldn’t just stomp on that title you’d so lovingly bestowed upon him, a title he’d worked hard for since! 

Furthermore, even if Jungkook wasn’t a good boy, to touch you in your sleep just seemed wrong. You’d mentioned in passing once that you wouldn’t mind as long as it was him (“I’m yours,” you had purred at some party, hand crawling down his abdomen, “your doll, remember?”), but Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to when you were so vulnerable and just… not there. It wouldn’t feel right to use your body when you weren’t awake, and no amount of encouragement from you would change his mind. 

So he does what all good boys do and prepares himself for a quick, self-administered handfuck. 

Sue him, his girlfriend was hot!

It’d been a little over two weeks since the last time the two of you had fucked, and it was mostly his fault; clinicals and research papers had practically consumed what little free time he had in his schedule. And if Jungkook remembers correctly, he wouldn’t be that lucky this upcoming week either. Something tells him your period was approaching. 

Jungkook doesn’t know what type of sorcery you’ve done to him, but in the time you’ve been dating, it’s become increasingly more and more difficult to nut without you. Whether that be fucking you, listening to your voice, or just imagining your pretty face in his head, you held a monopoly over Jungkook’s libido, one that he feared you’d never let go. 

He had years stacked on years of browsing PornHub and Brazzers, can recall experiencing some of the craziest orgasms of his life while watching some girl get fucked. All things come to an end. Ever since he started dating you, not even his favorite video could make him hard anymore. Oh, how the great have fallen. 

But with your blue panties before him, his cock hardens by the minute, nearly doubles in size when you move about and sigh a heavenly sound. Frankly, he doesn’t feel bad jerking one off to the thought of you. You were his girlfriend! He knows that you know that you’re the main character of all his right-handed adventures, and you’re not going to be mad at him for jerking off to you now. In fact, Jungkook imagines you’d be mad if he’d woken you up just for some frenzied quickie. This way, he’s blowing off some steam and you’re getting an extra ten minutes of napping. Everyone wins. 

He’s barely tugged himself out of the confines of his sweats when a soft mumble of his name has his soul leaving his body. “Kook?” 

“Baby,” he exhales, immediately tucking himself back into his underwear before moving closer towards you. You roll onto your back, skirt useless as fuck, he thinks, as it sprawls around your waist. “What’s up?” he murmurs, voice gentle, a hand carding through the nape of your neck because that’s how you always wake him up. Jungkook would be a liar to say it wasn’t one of the best feelings in the world. 

You say something, but it’s a mess of gibberish and too quiet for him to understand, before turning on your side again and shuffling closer to him. Jungkook smiles, runs the tips of his fingers over your cheek, before moving to caress your back, massaging some feeling back into your muscles. Some more mumbled words, but this time he deciphers them as something along the lines of “c’mere.” 

He chuckles, ducking down to kiss your cheek. “Don’t wanna interrupt your nap, baby,” he hums. “Go back to sleep.” 

You whine in protest, suddenly catching his hand in yours. “Please,” you sigh, eyes fluttering open, but they’re unfocused as you gaze at him. Jungkook clenches his teeth. Technically he should be working on that twelve page research paper, and even just trying to jerk off right now would have been a huge setback. Crawling into bed with you, where you’re so sinfully laid out for him to take, would completely offset his plans until tomorrow. He had to be a responsible student here. 

“I really gotta finish my paper…” he says, trying to let you down as gently as possible, flashing you an apologetic gaze. He thinks he has it in the bag, and your extended silence almost has him rolling back to his desk, when you suddenly snap into action. 

“But what about your dick,” you murmur, and Jungkook chokes. 

“My what—?” he splutters, voice a little too high. 

You say nothing, craning your neck to release a series of cracks, soft huffs leaving your lips. Jungkook’s on edge the whole time, eyes following the movement of your neck, the hypnotizing expanse of skin that bares itself to him. “Saw your hand down your pants,” you say, eyes blinking open, and though they’re droopy with sleep, at least you can hold them open this time. 

Jungkook laughs nervously, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck in embarrassment. “You saw that?” A soft hum. He wants to die. “Ah, baby, don’t worry about it. Know you’re tired, so just nap,” he sighs, caressing the back of your head once again, and he thinks he’s finally convinced you so he lets his guard down. 

You moan softly, and he’s almost entirely sure it’s one of those waking up types of sounds, the ones you make when you’re stretching around the bed in the morning. “Want your cock.” 

Jungkook swears he’ll die, right here, right now. 

He groans, lowers his head to rest on the mattress. “Jesus, fuck, baby,” he huffs, has to count to ten to will the stirring of his slowly hardening cock away for the second time that day. “Don’t say stuff like that when you’re half asleep, please.”

You ignore him, the hand that had been wrapped around his wrist tugging him closer. You barely succeed, muscles still so weak, but Jungkook humors you and rolls his chair right beside your head, where he ducks down to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Noooo,” you whine when he draws away too quickly. 

A laugh blossoms in his chest, and Jungkook proceeds to rain down a series of kisses on your pretty face before he can stop himself. You melt under his touch, his affection, and Jungkook adores the way your body is so soft and pliant like this, back arching towards him after he places a hand on your waist. 

“Come here,” you urge, voice a quiet plea. So soft, so needy. 

Jungkook malfunctions for just a second before he’s clambering over you on the bed, manhandling your body until you're both on your sides, facing each other, with you pressed tightly to his chest. Even with your hands brushing up and down his back in the way that sends every nerve in Jungkook’s body tingling, and your leg thrown over his hip, some stupid part of him convinces himself you’re just cold, trying to warm up after walking around campus in that tiny little skirt all day. He cuddles you as best as he can. 

And even with his dick twitching in his pants and his caveman instincts yelling at him to thrust up into your inviting core, Jungkook remains as professional as someone in a relationship can be when in bed with their lover. He’s so stuck on his self-control that he almost doesn’t hear the snort you muffle against his neck. 

“What are you doing?” you laugh, reaching up to pinch his cheek. Jungkook blinks, eyes wide like a doe caught in headlights. “Are we gonna fuck or what?”

He chokes. He doesn’t even try to muffle his reaction like other times, because the way you’re looking at him and the heel you press against the back of his thigh preoccupies his thoughts instead. Your hands are still tracing along his back, melting him with your dainty touches. “Baby?” you question after he’s been silent too long, distracted by the way you use that hooked leg to tug your bodies closer. 

“You… you’re still asleep,” Jungkook says, though it’s definitely a question. 

You scoff, a smile curling around your features. “Mm, definitely not asleep,” you tease, and shift to push him onto his back, wiggling on top of him until those baby blue panties are pressed against his quickly hardening member. “Why? Wanted to touch me when I was asleep?” you continue, and Jungkook’s eyes nearly burst out of their sockets. 

“No!” he exclaims, hands clutching your hips in alarm. He can tell he surprises you, because your eyes go wide for a brief second. “Never…” he mumbles afterwards, looking away from your imploring gaze. “Only like you when you’re awake.” 

You sigh, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek that makes his heart flood with adoration for you. “You’re a good boy, Jungkook,” you say back, just as quietly. “A blueprint for the perfect man.” Another kiss, this time against the corner of his mouth that makes Jungkook’s hands twitch against your sides. 

A soft moan tears itself from his throat, fingers digging into your hips as you slowly roll them against him. The heat emanating from your core seeps past the thin barrier of his sweatpants, makes his cock twitch in his boxers. He knows how it feels inside of you, has your body memorized like the back of his hand. But it’s in moments like these that he finds himself aching for you, desperate to feel the fluttering walls of your pussy, the pitiful whimpers that fall from your kiss swollen lips. And, well. The skirt makes it all too easy.  

He places two hands on the backs of your thighs, runs them up until he’s pushing your skirt up over your waist. You pull away from his lips with a sneaky little smile, pointer finger stroking down the side of his face lazily. “Mm?” you tease, leaving a coy little peck against his mouth. “Now you wanna touch?” Jungkook rolls his eyes, snaps his teeth at your wandering finger when you draw it too close to his mouth. The giggle you let out is so damn precious, makes him want to put you in a glass case and never let anyone else touch you. Coincidentally, it also makes him want to rail you into the mattress until you cry. 

“I’ll fucking ruin you, doll,” he settles on murmuring, subtly pushing you down against him. A soft giggle. Jungkook knows it’s your favorite nickname, even if you won’t admit it. He's the only one allowed to call you it, something about his intentions being pure or whatever, he’s not really sure. Anyway, you’re still so cute and soft on top of him, blinking slowly and prettily, so he’s dragging it out a bit, hoping you’ll become more alert in a few more minutes. 

As sleepy as you may be, you never miss out on a chance to rile him up. “As if, doll,” you retort, his nickname for you rolling off your tongue seamlessly. It sounds heavenly, sparks this weird emotion in him that he never considered before. Him, a doll? No way. But there’s something about the sweet lilt of your voice, the starry-eyed gaze you level him with, that has him throwing all reservations aside. Put him on a shelf and call him Barbie, because he would be anything you wanted him to be. 

Anyway, Jungkook’s sappy thoughts last all of two seconds before he’s rolling you over, successfully trapping you beneath his body. “Oh, so scary,” you feign, hands fluttering to clutch at your chest. 

He glides his hands down your body, let’s them trail over your hip and down the side of your thigh. “Don’t get sassy with me,” he warns, thumb peeking beneath the hem of your skirt. Jungkook really wants to burn the piece of fabric this time, because after all that time it spent torturing him with its halfhearted attempts at covering you, it chooses now to do it properly. 

Hands are thrown around his shoulders, the overwhelming scent of your perfume and body wash tickling his nose when you pull him in for another kiss. “Or what?” you purr, irises swirling with lust. “Gonna use your manly man strength to hold me down?” 

He shushes you with a kiss, slow and languid just how you like. Your taste is familiar, feels like coming home, so Jungkook can’t be blamed for getting too carried away. It starts gentle— it always does. But then a tiny mewl gets stuck in your throat, the following moan swallowed by his tongue, and Jungkook nearly loses it. He nips at your bottom lip, waits patiently for you to open up for him, and when you do he wastes no time diving in. Your tongue against his is slick and wet, makes the most lewd sound. Your little sharp intakes of air fill the gaps, shuddery breaths that Jungkook takes as a good sign. 

He strikes while the iron is still hot. 

It’s amidst your lazy kissing that he secures his hands around your waist, two reassuring squeezes thrown your way before he’s abruptly rolling onto his back again. “Kook!” you squeal, clutching at the front of his shirt. A pouty frown paints your face, sleepy eyes narrowing him with a rather unimpressed look, tainted with the barest hints of confusion. 

Jungkook grins, reaching back to yank his pillow out from beneath his head. “On my face,” he commands suddenly, and you snort. 

“What?” you ask a little incredulously, leaning back to level him with an even more lost expression. “Since when do we do that?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Since I decided twenty seconds ago,” he answers rather bluntly. You still don’t look too convinced. It’s not a position the two of you have ever tried. You’re a little on the sappy side, always like to look at his face while you fuck, hold his cheeks in your palms, kiss him sweetly. On the one hand, Jungkook totally gets it; he’ll proudly admit that the sight of your orgasming face paired with your fantastic tits have done him many favors these past few months. 

However, Jungkook is a lover of head. Giving or receiving, it’s very high on his list of sexual acts and whoever invented oral deserved all the praise in the world. Not only did you look drop dead gorgeous with his cock in your mouth— tears trailing down your cheeks, drool clinging to the corners of your lips —but you also looked absolutely sexy receiving it. 

Kinda. 

Probably. 

Okay, so maybe Jungkook can’t really say, considering he always has a hard time catching a glimpse of your face when he’s down there licking and slurping your clit like a madman. Which is what leads him to this exact moment, an experiment weeks in the making. Jungkook has a theory that needs to be tested. “Please ride the fuck out of my face,” he tries, hoping the polite tone will win you over. 

He’s met with an eye roll. Still, you’re kinder than you let on. “Okay,” you give in, and Jungkook will remember your heroism for the rest of his life. “But only because being on top is empowering.” He just barely contains an over-enthusiastic fist pump into the air, settling on a rather modest smile that has you leaning down to kiss him again. You reach for the zipper on the side of your skirt. “Just let me—“

“The skirt stays on,” he says quickly, hand on your wrist to stop you from removing his most favorite article of clothing. 

“Baby,” you say, giving him a rather serious look. “It’ll cover your face.”

“It won’t,” he urges, reaching for the buttons on your blouse instead. Jungkook has had one too many encounters with tops like these, and has long since learned not to tear them apart like a crazed psycho. As much as he loves the sound of your buttons scattering across his bedroom floor, he can’t say he’s too fond of the scolding he inevitably gets afterwards. Anyway, the shirt comes off and so does your bra, leaving your tits in his face, tiny skirt on your hips. “Get up here,” he murmurs, ushering you up his body until your knees are pressing into the mattress right above his shoulders. 

If it was up to Jungkook, he would have just grabbed your hips and shoved his face against your pussy. Luckily, it’s not, and your common sense shines through just in time. “One sec,” you say, and then finally, finally, the blue panties come off. 

And then it’s just Jungkook and your glistening pussy. 

“Holy fuck,” he groans, taking the opportunity to wrap his arms around your thighs. You squeak when he pulls you closer, hand instinctively reaching for the front of your skirt to hold away from his face. The view from here is heavenly, just your swollen clit, gorgeous tits, and shy face. 

The muscles in your thighs are a little stiff. Or maybe you’re just nervous. Jungkook isn’t sure, all he knows is that it takes one encouraging tug for you to finally sit on his face. He doesn’t even register the surprised gasp that leaves your throat because he’s too busy tasting your pussy from an all new position. And it’s absolutely amazing. 

Something about the position, having you carefully poised above him, does something to Jungkook. He likes to think he knows your body inside and out, knows what makes you melt and what makes you scream. He knows just how to lap at your cunt until you’re cumming, and how many fingers it takes for you to really feel it. But it’s like having you in this position changes all of that, rearranges all the tidbits of information Jungkook has spent months collecting. 

(Jungkook is a meticulous man; he’s got a near perfect GPA right now that was the direct result of his carefully crafted note-taking techniques. Whether or not he abused the power of his perfectionist learning abilities to master the mechanisms of his girlfriend’s libido was no one's business but his own.) 

One kitten lick against your swollen pearl makes you buck forward, clit brushing against his nose. Jungkook can’t remember you ever doing that on the first lick. “O- oh my���,” you cry, all airy and whiny. Your hand is pressed to the wall behind his bed, the other bunching the front of your skirt just above your mound. He’s rather happy to learn that, just as he’d hypothesized, this position does give him a better view of you. 

He’s graced with the sight of your face, twisted up in pleasure. It’s the stereotypical eyes squeezed shut, lip caught between your teeth look. But there’s something different about it knowing that he’s gotten this reaction out of you with his mouth alone. 

Jungkook quickly repositions you over him, tugging you back until his tongue is lined up with the front of your slit. You’re so warm down here, make him feel like he’s drowning with your heady scent alone. Tentatively, he lets his tongue dip between your folds, the very tip nudging your swollen clit. A moan tears itself from your throat, the hand that had been flush against the wall suddenly jumping forward to bury itself in his hair. “Oh- oh, fuck,” you shiver, hips jolting forward once more. 

You taste good on his tongue, the arousal that coats your lips is sticky and sweet. When he laps his tongue along your folds, quivering hole to stiffened bud, you let out a sob that resonates deeply within Jungkook. And also Jungkook’s cock, which stirs beneath his trousers in excitement. What was once the focus of his mission, a quick handfuck to sedate himself before finishing his research paper, has long since been forgotten. It’s for the greater good, he tells himself, blinking up at you from between your thighs. 

Eye contact lasts for exactly three seconds before you’re looking away bashfully, the fist clutching at your skirt trembling against your tummy. You’re so fucking pretty, Jungkook’s heart can’t take it. 

And so he sets out on a mission to make you cum as soon as possible, abandoning his slow kitten licks in favor of suctioning his lips around your clit. “Kook,” you wail, tugging at his hair. Whether you do it purposely or not, Jungkook is a little shocked by how good the pain feels. It’s not an emotion he can ponder long, because then you’re using that same grip in his hair to tilt his head backwards, jerkily moving over him. 

It’s rough and sudden, the buck against his face, but Jungkook loves it. The drag of your pussy against his lips, the wet glide of your juices smearing across his chin and Cupid’s bow. It all feels so good, and the fact Jungkook is getting a front row seat to the absolutely torn look on your face is just the cherry on top. 

Jungkook has seen you make a lot of faces. He’s seen you shiver and drool as he nails you into your bed. He’s seen you sniffle and sob as he slowly fucks you in a rose petal filled bubble bath (a six month anniversary special planned by yours truly). He’s even seen your mirrored reflection fall apart as you bounced away on his lap in front of a mirror. 

He’s never seen you like this before. 

Needy and desperate, moaning his name softly, practically humping his face in your greed. Tiny skirt clutched against your waist, tits bouncing as you hurriedly grind against him. He has half the mind to burn this scene into his eyelids for the rest of his life. 

He’s given up on doing anything with his tongue, simply sticking it out for you to do as you wish. Normally, he’s not a huge fan of letting you do things yourself. After all, Jungkook was your boyfriend. Making you cum was his job. But you’re moving so fast, so frantic, in your mission to cum. So Jungkook sits back and lets you go to town on his mouth as a series of moans spill from your lips. 

And then something unforgivable happens. 

Jungkook will admit it: he’s staring at you almost a little too dreamily, heart eyes and all. He thinks you’re fucking hot, taste like heaven and have these absolutely delicious boobs bouncing up and down. He’s a little distracted by your glorious figure that he doesn’t notice one crucial bit of information. 

Your hand. 

The desperate need to cum has your muscles weakening, thighs moving at a latent pace, and, much to Jungkook’s horror, hands trembling. It’s your own pleasure that lets the unimaginable happen: your skirt flutters down. Your grip on it loosens and before Jungkook knows it, the sight of your pretty face and nice tits are gone, snatched away before his very eyes. Even your wet cunt is impossible to see, his world suddenly shrouded in darkness. 

Leave it to Jungkook to foil his own horny plan with, well, his horniness. If only he wasn’t so hopelessly in love with the image of you in skirts. Maybe then he could bask in the beauty that was you riding his face. 

He acts fast, reaching for the material before he can miss out on anything. But the angle is weird, and without Jungkook’s hands holding your hips, you’re left weakly rolling forward instead. And he’s not the only one frustrated with this turn of events, your face quickly returning to its normal composed form as you level him with a frown. “Everything okay?” you pant. 

Everything was not okay, but Jungkook isn’t sure how to tell you that without ruining this delicate moment. So he tries to show you with actions instead, releasing the skirt he’s got in his fist and letting it flutter over his face again. You giggle. “I told you so.” 

It takes more willpower than he’d like to admit to pull away from your wet folds, pulling off with a lewd sound that has you biting your lip as you gaze down at him. “I told you so,” he mimics, a little mean but you don’t take it to heart. “Hold your skirt up.” 

You hum, the grip on his hair loosening as you push away his dark locks instead. “Mmmm,” you hum. “No.”

“No?” he repeats, actually really scandalized. Okay, so he’s a little spoiled when it comes to you— it’s not his fault! You made him like this, conditioned him to think that you would always give into his every whim because you were just so sweet and considerate and wanted him to be happy. And Jungkook also wants you to be happy, and in his opinion, being happy right now means having him fuck your pretty brains out for ever getting sassy with him. 

“I don’t listen to men,” you tease, followed by a cute little nod, skin still a little warm from your looming orgasm. Jungkook takes advantage of your tiny moment of weakness, and strikes like a viper.

A girlish squeal leaves your lips, hands stretching outwards as he knocks you backwards onto the mattress. “Jungkook,” you gasp, sprawled out artfully, beautifully, over his sheets now. He doesn’t waste a second longer, crawling over your body until you’re a shivering mess beneath him. 

Hand against your throat, the other blindly reaching for the front of his sweatpants. “What is it, doll?” he drawls meanly, reveling in the way your eyes roll back when his newly-freed cock lands against your slit. A choked gasp leaves your throat, lashes fluttering wildly until Jungkook loosens his grip. 

You’ve done a nice job riling yourself up, lips squelching wet and loose when he runs the tip of his cock along them. Your knees are pulled up for him, spread perfectly for him to fit between. You’re so good for him, Jungkook feels a little bad for how hard he’s going to fuck you now. 

The sympathy doesn’t last long.  

Once upon a time, you had been the epitome of a cute and sweet girlfriend. Had picked him up from class, encouraged him to do his homework, wore these cute little skirts around campus. Deep down inside, Jungkook knew everyone else was jealous of him— you were just so pretty and cute, a girl straight out of everyone’s dreams. 

Until he sunk his horny claws into you. Jungkook will be the first to admit he spends a little too much time browsing porn sites— he’s a man, cut him some slack —which had never caused him any problems before. Even when the two of you were just friends (pining ones at that), you had never seemed even remotely affected by his extensive pornographical knowledge. It was a known fact among your friend group that Jungkook’s best friend was his right hand. 

But then, of course, you started dating Jungkook and it was like a save file of all his horniest fantasies was downloaded directly into your brain. Which leads him to this. 

“Spit in my mouth,” you shiver, got these huge, watery eyes pointed his way. His cock twitches. 

There’s a little groan that tears itself from his throat when he leans forward, cock sliding along your folds, to grasp your chin between his fingers. “Open,” he commands, and you do. Your lower lip quivers, tongue pressed against it as you wait for Jungkook to spit down your mouth. He can’t say he regrets letting you peek through his porn stash, not when it leads to this, you whimpering at the hot glob of saliva he shoots down your throat. “Filthy,” he pants, memorizing the movement of your throat when you swallow like the good girl you are. 

Before he can write another twelve sonnets about that dazed look on your face, he’s roughly grabbing at your thigh. You whine, limbs so pliant beneath his touch, letting him hike your knee over his forearm as he tugs you closer. “Fuck,” he groans, reaching down to align himself with your quivering hole. You’re still so wet, make the most lewd sound when he sinks into you. Not that Jungkook really hears it, the sound of your strained moans practically drowning everything else out. 

“Fuck,” you cry, one hand clutching at his forearm, the other toying with your breast. It’s a magnificent sight, and Jungkook is suddenly feeling a little cocky when he realizes he’s the only one who gets to see this. It’s this presumptuous nature that fuels the first round of thrusts into your cunt, fast and full. He makes sure you feel every inch of him, tip to base, as he pistons his hips forward. “J— Jungkook,” you pant, back arching beneath him. 

You take it so well, walls sucking him in every time he draws back out. “I’ve got you, doll,” he moans, hiking your leg further over his shoulder. Every roll of his hips has your tits bouncing back and forth, lower lip as well with the dopey, open-mouthed look you got on for him. And the damned skirt that got him here, fucking you with a punishing pace, sits perfectly around your waist. He has half the mind to take it off for you, briefly wonders if it hurts, but just looking at it reminds him of about thirty-seven pornos he’s seen. So it stays on, works alongside your lovestruck face to actively rewrite all those pornos anew with you starring in them instead. 

It sure helps when you start your usual mindless babbling. “I love you,” you gasp, face screwed up in pleasure. “I- I love you so much.” 

He’s contemplating doing a study on you and your weird mid-fuck confessions. You do this a lot, and while Jungkook doesn’t mind, it sure does leave him curious. “Love you too, baby,” he says anyway, repositioning his arms so he can hold your waist with both hands. 

“Really?” you ask, voice so whiny, eyes brimming with tears. From emotion or your need to cum, Jungkooks not sure. (Hence the need for a study!) 

Another brutal thrust that has you moaning loudly. “Really,” he reassures you, glancing down to watch his cock sink into your hole as he picks up the pace. Your arms are practically limbless, and his stomach is beginning to feel tight. The end was soon. “Love your pretty little face.”

Another whine, your fingers pulling at your pebbled nipples. “M- My pretty face?” you whimper, blink these long lashes up at him. They make Jungkook go a little mad, bring on a wave of jackhammer thrusts that cut your moans into choppy little cries instead. 

“Prettiest girl I know,” he groans, not once stopping the movement of his hips. You’re quivering like a leaf beneath him, your entire body locking up as Jungkook guides you toward orgasm. “A fucking doll, baby— so beautiful for me,” he praises. 

It’s exactly what you want to hear— secretly, Jungkook hypothesizes that you’re a little bit of an attention whore —crying out when he slows to a grind against you. Each roll of his hips has him rubbing over your swollen bud, leaves you trembling until you’re eventually unraveling beneath him. “Oh- Oh, fuck— Jungkook—“ you sob, writhing beneath him as you cream his cock. 

Your tits look amazing, nipples stiff from your arousal and all the attention you’d been giving them. Your features soften, gasps framed by your pillowy lips. As Jungkook has said before, your pretty face was the most dangerous weapon. 

He manages a few more pistons of his hips, mostly for reputation sake, before he’s eventually pulling out. His right hand, once the sole hero of his solo sessions, makes a valiant return now as he jacks himself off over you. It takes a few harsh pulls of his cock until he’s spurting his jizz over you, painting your tummy and your tits in white ribbons of cum. You flinch, a tiny whimper leaving your throat at the mess he makes. “Fuck,” he groans one last time. 

When it’s over, you have the audacity to shyly pull down the front of your skirt. As if your tits aren’t out and about, but Jungkook pretends he doesn’t see it. Instead, he channels his energy into peppering your face in kisses. “Best girl,” he praises, even though he knows you hate the nickname. “My beautiful feminist queen.” 

A pinch against his cheek. It hurts like hell, but he endures it for now, still very much in love with your performance today. “Get me a towel,” you huffily ask, uncomfortable with the jizz sticking to your tummy, as if he didn’t spit in your mouth a few minutes ago. 

His research paper is waiting for him at his desk, the materials he’d spent weeks collecting waiting to be typed up. But his girlfriend is so soft and sleepy, asking him to stay for another nap. 

There was never a choice.

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[trainer-sean]

@prof-peach HELP, I'VE PULLED INTO BEING AN ASSISTANT BY A PROFESSOR JUST BECAUSE I MENTIONED HOW MY FRIEND THOUGHT I'D MAKE A GOOD PROF., FOR THE PASS MONTH IVE BEEN STUCK IN PALDEA, IN THE GREAT CRATER, AND FOR SOME REASON IM THE ONLY ONE WITH A SINGLE AMOUNT OF SENSE WHO'S ACTUALLY COMING UP WITH PLAUSIBLE THEORY AND RESULTS! I JUST HAD TO GIVE A LECTURE!!!! I'M NOT EVEN A WILLING ASISTANT, I DIDN'T EVEN FINISH MY GYM CIRCUIT BECAUSE I GOT BORED AFTER BADGE 5 AND DECIDED TO EXPLORE BEFORE HEADING HOME!

HALF THESE GUYS AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO KEEP THEMSELVES SAFE, THEY JUST RUN IN TO STUDY THESE PARADOX POKEMON, A GOOD MAJORITY ARE EXTREMELY AGRESSIVE AND WILL KILL!!!! AND THEY ARE ACTING SURPRISED AND UTTERLY IMPRESSED WHEN I COME UP WITH THE MOST OBVIOUS OF OBSERVATIONS, LIKE WTH?! THEY DIDNT EVEN BRING ANY BATTLE READY POKEMON, OR HIRED ANY TRAINERS TO HELP SUPERVISE!!!! IM THE ONLY ONE WITH A TEAM THAT CAN FIGHT!!

BARELY A QUARTER OF THEM EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE RETRIEVAL AND DELIVERY FACTORS!!!!! THATS LIKE A BARE MINIMUM FOR PROFESSORS TO KNOW SO THEY CAN DEAL WITH POKEMON.

HALF OF THEM ARE TREATING MY LIKE A CHILD WHEN I AM A 22 YEAR OLD MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW THE KEEP HIMSELF SAFE AND NOT GO RUN UP TO A VERY MUCH FERAL SCREAM TAIL. I'VE GIVEN TWO LECTURES, ONE TO THESE UTTER IDIOTS ABOUT THE R&D FACTORS AND A LECTURE ABOUT MY FINDINGS ON THE GREAT CRATER TO THE STUDENTS ARE THE ACADEMY?! THIS ISNT NORMAL, WHY ARE PEOPLE ACTING LIKE THIS IS NORMAL, IS THIS THE ACTUAL NORM FOR POKEMON TRAINERS OR SOMETHING?!

(-This guy also tricked him into signing a contract saying id be assisting with an investigation on the Ultimate weapon in Kalos, along with Reflection cave and some other things in Kalos, which is why I ended up saying I'd probably talk about those in the future during my lecture, cause im probably gonna be roped into doing another one in the future. He didn't even do in malice, he straight up said to my face it'd be good for me, and that I had alot of potential to be a great professor, which is flattering, BUT I'D LIKE CONSENT BEFORE THESE THINGS HAPPEN, thing is hes spoken of highly by Professor Juniper, both of them. We're thankfully gonna be monitored by Prof. Sycamore and one of the elite four during these trips, honestly worried what we'll find, Reflection cave was closes off for a reason, and everyone's avoiding the town that the ultimate weapon is located like the plague. Honestly, when this contract is over, I might just see about going over to you guys to intern if I'm just going to be drawn into Professor work like this again. Terastalization works on humans, Ghost type here, very freaky! I kept seeing these shadowy silhouettes walking by, and it was weird being crystalline and see through, also, those hats are completely optional, like, I was uncomfortable with the weight, didnt want it, and the hat just Dissolved in to particles? Also, kept being harassed by the five kids that went down into the Crater and didn't face criminal charges due to the Service Clause that was made when pokemom training became popular for the sake of having a Crime deterent, Florian and Juliana kept asking if I had seen any more Miraidon and Koraidon like the ones they have, more Specifically, the ones Ai Sada and Turo had when they were controlled by the Paradise protection protocol, because they are extremely territorial and Agressive, glad they are at least worried about the team studying the place, Nemona keeps asking me for battles, obsessively at that, Arven was asking about finding any Herba Mystic, which yes we did, but we can't just let these be used by the public with out proper study, observations are promising but we need a proper lab, he looked very nervous when I told him that, think he some how got some and used them, his mebostiff is particularly looking well for its age and scars it has, Penny was honestly the only one I could comfortably be around, she was asking about my sylveon, we even traded some care tips, I also told her some tips for her Jolteon I learned from care for my dads Jolteon. Though, Florian and Juliana seem to know a thing or two on calming P. Paradox pokemon, they must've them when the first went down.

The Paradox pokemon can't have come from a full of time machine, due to multiple reports, even entire community sightings of Dialga and even multiple Celebi arriving at a location and destroying some seemingly random building, which those builds apparently had scientists attempting to preform experiments, primarily on time travel, so we know that Legendary pokemon would not allow something that can disturb the flow of time like a Time Machine exist, the Tera Crystal is a outlier due to not being more like Space travel, jumping from one branch of the tree to the other, rather then traveling down the branch and traveling up the other, something Palkia seems to not take offense too.

(- for Retrieval and deliver factor,

The Words of Prof. Sean: Area Zero And Paradox Pokémon.

I've been seeing lots of miscommunication and misinterpretation on Area Zero and the Paradox pokemon, and I wish to fix this. I'll start of the history of the location and work from there for those unfamiliar with the topic.

Area Zero:

The Great Crater of Paldea is a massive Crater with a unique and expansive ecosystem in the center of the Paldea region. Once to believed to store of massive hidden treasure due to the Ancient Kings greed, many expeditions were sent down into the Crater, later to be called Area Zero by Professors who went to study the phenomenon and ecosystem. Many instances of bizarre looking pokemon many believed to not even be pokemon were found inside, but they all shared a few common trait, they resembled known pokemon, they didn't have any findable evolved or pre-evolved forms, some appeared to be more primal looking versions of pokemon, while others looked like robotic, sci-fi escue versions of pokemon to the modern eye. They all seemed to be in some form hostile, not only the the Expedition teams, but the other pokemon that lived in the crater themselves. Also in the Crater were multiple strange relics, and copious pillars of crystals, even trees and other things seemed to have the crystal grow on them from the ground up, these plants seemed to actually be vastly for hardy then others, being able to shrug off swings of axes and even the strongest of pokemon attacks. These crystals would later be the main key to producing Tera Orbs, and the key to preform the Terastalization phenomenon in battles, which helps something preform to its best. There are other examples of this phenomenon's uses I'll get into at a later point. At the very bottom of the Crater is a cavernous biome where the Tera Crystal seems most copious, and a odd species of pokemon seem to come from, a oddly flower and crystal like pokemon with the rock/poison typing, called Glimmora. I would not be surprised if this pokemons origins is interconnected with the Tera Crystal's origins. These Tera Crystal's also seems to randomly grow from the earth all around Paldea, as Tera Raid Dens, with Terastalized pokemon inside, but will randomly generate and degenerate day by day, but the pokemon inside them don't seem to come from Paldea at all, as environmental Census and blood tests reveals none of the pokemon caught from Tera Raid Dens have zero relation to pokemon of their species all around the region, they've also been found to lack any memory before the Raid Dens generation, no ones got a clue what happens to a pokemon in a Raid Den that Degenerates, as both disappear without a trace. There are still many mystery around the Great Crater, but Professors have only been given minimal study time of the Ecosystem at a time by Paldea's Government.

Primal Paradox Pokemon:

Too start, Paradox Pokemon are odd forms of pokemon that seem to randomly appear in Area Zero, other wise known as The Great Crater of Paldea. We've given classifications for the two types, Primal Paradox and Cyber Paradox.

Primal Paradox pokemon are more primal versions of existing pokemon, do not confuse this for me saying they are prehistoric versions of modern pokemon, as they have zero fossil records anywhere in the word, the closest they have are Bones, simple bones dated at the latest, 1,000 years old. The most common trait among Primal Paradox pokemon are predator Yellow eyes, and a unique ability that activates in harsh sunlight, this ability seems to boost their highest stat, the Cyber Paradox pokemon have a similar ability that activates on Electric Terrain, but we'll get to that later. P. Paradox pokemon are very much carnivorous, but, like all pokemon, they can easily sustain themselves of berry's happily, but they tend to be more aggressive. P. Paradox pokemon seem to not adapt to less aggressive and lethal fighting as easily usual pokemon that are caught do, meaning its best to train them easily and help them tone down their aggressive behavior long before battling becomes an option. We've found that Calm and Friendly P. Paradox pokemon are a rarer sight, but are findable, We've also discovered that these Paradox pokemon are immediately targeted by other members of their species, they likely precieve such behavior as weakness and attempt to beat it out of them, or just kill them if they don't learn. P. Paradox seem to naturally live by Might Makes Right Version of Survival of the Fittest, which is why they seems to have a harder time learning to pull in their aggressive behavior when caught. This is a Rare sight in most modern day species. Some seem to exhibit traits professors such as Kalos' Sycamore believe would be associated with Mega evolved forms, a prime example is Roaring Moon, which appear to be Primal Paradox Salamence, and show traits of Mega Salamence. I'll likely go over Mega evolution and its working in the future, but for now I'll explain how these traits seem to present themselves in Paradox pokemon.

Mega Evolution brings out the latent potential and and activate Deactivated and inactive genes in a pokemon, allowing them to reach a higher evolved form of themselves, and when I say evolved, I mean darwinian in nature, Sceptile has been on its way to evolving into Dragon type for the last couple of generations, and is believed to become Dragon type in the future, meaning Mega Sceptile is what regular Sceptile will become far into the future. The life style of P. Paradox pokemon has allowed these pokemon reach that level of evolution. I would like to note that due to living with Paradox pokemon in general has lead to many species in Area Zero to become hostile and aggressive to anything unfamiliar, such as humans.

Now for their Origins, the Tera Crystal seems to have multiple traits and abilitys, such as amplification of ability, but its appears to have something akin to dimensional jumping, not time travel like many people believe. All the paradox pokemon are traveling from the Present of separate time lines.

Its also of note that due to their life style, Paradox pokemon in General have strength on the level of lower tier legendary pokemon.

Cyber Paradox Pokemon:

To start this part off, NO, Cyber Paradox pokemon ARE NOT ROBOTS, they have merely evolved into a state of being mechanical and technical like. I'm make this shorter than the Primal Paradox section due to covering those points already. Cyber Paradox pokemon come from a Timeline where pokemon evolved into more Mechanical like forms, but they still need to breath, eat, drink, and sleep. Many seem to develope advances abilitys comparable to human tools and equipment, Iron Bundle, the Cyber Paradox of Delibird, has a Sphere on its tail that functions as both a weapon, and dimensional storage bag much like Trainer Tech bags company's like Silph Co. Makes for the public. They seem to evolved for maximized efficiency, even developing to smaller sizes compared to our timelines counter parts of them. The least changed of them seems to be Iron Jugilous, who seems to look like to have just taken on a form machine like form of Hydreigon, while the others have become more specially adapted versions of their counterparts. They also react aggressively to foreign life, but will calm down much quicker when they realize that said life is not a danger. And in cases will assist them and protect them from Primal Paradox pokemon. This seems to be the reason why P. Paradox pokemon have not driven the normal population of Area Zero to extinction. Iron Valiant seems to be both Gardevoir, and Mega Galade for some odd reason, likely the original evolution of having two separate specialized forms wasn't efficient enough, and adapted the two forms together, seemingly, Galade's Potential was the most efficient, so there are only minor traits of mega Gardevoir. Genetic tests have shown it can actually shift between genders at will. They also mostly lack the ability to show emotion, they do have emotions, but they lack most facial features to show them, they also come off as standoff ish due to their robotic appearance, which is why many actually believed them to be robots, rather then pokemon.

A fun fact for those Shiny lovers out there, Shiny Cyber Paradox pokemon are pure Chrome in color, like an unpainted prototype.

The only two Paradox pokemon that have regular named Registered in the pokedex are the two Paradox forms of Cyclizar, Koraidon and Miraidon. Though Miraidon does have a standard Paradox name in Iron Serpent.

Tera Phenomenon

The Terastalization Phenomenon affect both biological life and machines, amplifying their abilitys and capabilites. This allowed a pair of higher functioning AI to break free of their programming and have their own desires, these were the robotic copies of Prof. Sada and Turo, who sadly passed away from injures gained from taking the attacks of Agressive Koraidon and Miraidon when they tried to attack a pair of Calm and Friendly Koraidon and Miraidon. These two AI actually wanted to end their templates work, and shut down a machine the two professors believed was a time machine they made, however they were designed to be a self defense protocol for the machine, which was also powered and enhanced with Tera Crystals, they ultimately sent themselves through the machine to the two separate timelines, from what we've learned from the child of Prof. Sada and Turo, Arven is to be believed, it also appears that the AI felt guilt for their templates actions of abandoning their child for a dangerous obsession. It would appear that Koraidon and Miraidon are on the upper scale of lesser legendary pokemon, similarly to the likes of Zekrom and Reshiram.

So ends my lecture, I hope to see you all again soon. And remember, entering Area Zero is a Punishable offense unless given legal permission.

Note for those who may be curious on connected between the Great Crater and the ultimate weapon of Kalos, there is likely a chance the Tera Crystal is the direct shot from the weapon, while mega stones and and like were stray 'shrapnel' while the blast fell from the sky, this theory may be supported by the Reflection cave and its strange mirrors that people have found seem show different places and pokemon in the reflection, and on occasion even open like portals and send something through, which has recently lead to the cave being closed off from the public when what we now believe to be a Thunderous Thearian form came through, but unlike usual Thunderous, this one was more aggressive even by its usual standards, and had markings similar to Primal Paradox pokemon as well as much bright yellow eyes then the normal, plus the in ability to turn into the regular form of Thunderous. We now have theory that the kami trio, or more accurately the Cardinal Quartet, their alternate forms are actually some variation of Paradox forms the pokemon seem to be able to take on, as the mirrors that have been found that are said to allow the four to enter these forms are the same material as the Reflecting caves crystals.