#ive been thinking lately and im like okay well maybe i dont have to cut all social media out of my life to be productive in the grand schem

[fruitsyrups]

how it started and how it's going or whatever. they still dont have names by the way but they are a little comfort to me. they just chill out and live life boring style and stuff. exactly what i aspire to

blorbos from my brain... coworkers to roommates to freak weirdo besties or something like that, i dont know. they dont even have names yet 🐱

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 168 spoilers and thoughts that IM NOT LATE WITH FOR ONCE! KIND OF! YAY! and more below the cut

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OKAY. OKAY CAN WE TALK ABOUT THESE TWO PANELS WITH LLOYD AND JAVIER REALLY REALLY QUICK. i would save this for the end of the post since its closer to the end but im super impatient okay what else can i say. LOOK AT THE WAY JAVIER IS LOOKING AT HIM

HE IS LOOKING AT HIM SO DAMN FONDLY. WHAT THE FUCK. THERE IS WARMTH IN THAT GAZE I SWEAR TO GOD IM NOT CRAZY. "you're such a terrible person" AND HES LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. crazy. CRAZY.

the adaptor knew what they were doing . i swear it . like "yeah thats MY evil boyf. he's back to being evil and lively and his perfect bastard self." I SWEAR IT I SWEAR IM NOT CRAZY

this is proof of llovier. im so serious dont even joke lads

back to the top!

not much to say here lloyds expression is just so real sobs yeah . yeah,,, older gens having goofy ass back and forths over things that really arent the main issue here is universal

like i dont quite remember what season theyre in now but its past winter by this point and based on the two panels showing the time of day they had to have been arguing about this for AT LEAST FOUR HOURS 😭 LIKE WHAT THE FUCK (idk how accurate that estimate is im notoriously bad at time but still. a long fucking time) these BUFFOONS

also lloyd being dramatic as hell is so fucking silly HAHAHAHAHHAA

AND THEN THE LORDS FUCKING STARING AT HIM WHEN HE BRINGS UP THAT HE HAS AN IDEA. HELPPP all eyes on lloyd now !!! what brilliant idea do u have next thats absolutely totally not secured through lowkey social engineering!

so so SO happy w how confident he looks here heehee :3 whats with the pose tho lol is that a reference? maybe?

anyway they plan to make a train thru the pantara mountains? vantara? pan,,, idk what the correct translation is ive seen vantara and pantara

also lloyd just knowing exactly how to talk to those old ass political lords and understanding how to string them along idk what it is but i really really like that, it makes sense to me personally

i figure that thats probably something suho just Had to pay attention to back in korea, idk how korean politics works exactly but i imagine the principle of "person in charge can make or break a lot of things" still stands

so like it'd make sense that he pays attention to whoevers in charge of the finance stuff, which political figures care about money, and where that money goes, bc if they fuck with the funds for education thatll directly screw him over. idk if korea has financial aid but whatever equivalent that is that allows suho to get scholarships n stuff so he can stay afloat, if someone comes into power that will negatively affect his odds of getting that funding, he'll need to know and prepare! though maybe this is reaching a little too deep it might not be That Serious lmfao

again i really like how many of these confident / plotting expressions have been showing up IM SOO SO SO HAPPYYYY my schemer my little scheming guy he's BACK HES BACK

the two of them also look really really nice here in these two panels for some reason. i think im going crazy. i dont know why i like these panels its just. !??!?!?!?!??! like javiers hair is completely messy but idk i just ?!?!?!?!? im completely aro so its not like an attraction or anything but idk!?!??!?!?!

finally our first look at the overworld demons!!! these two kiddos seem super cute i really hope they dont . misunderstand or anything and that lloyd and javier can have some fun and heartwarming moments with them,,,, more sillies and soft fluff please!!!!! thats all i ask!!!!

okay that's all! not much to say this episode is just really really cozy to me. ok well as cozy as "lloyd frontera making evil expressions" can get LMFAO it feels like build up into the next section and im really excited to see what he's gonna do with this train idea and with the overworld demons...!!!!!

there was a notice at the end of the ep that the artist is taking a small break for their health so no ep next week, but there'll be one the week after i believe. we must be patient!!! rest well artist!!!!

that's it ill see yall in. two weeks? ill probably have some other yap post for the hiatus week idk, it depends on how my schoolwork goes. see yall then!!!!

[mikeyswayy]

hey, uh. hi. yeah. sorry i dont know why im doing this. im pretty sure youre dead. god i hope you arent. maybe this is just the digital form of visiting someones grave eh? yeah, i dunno. its lonely without you. keep wanting to tag you in things, god i fucking wish i could still tag you in things. i was a little scared to send this one, even just to write it, but id rather you be alive and proving me a fool for writing this than dead. maybe with my luck the universe’ll wanna make me look stupid so bad that ur actually fine. i miss you. ive been waiting the past few days you know that? waiting to be wrong waiting for you to come back waiting for this to be like the other times, but its been four days now. i just. i hope you found peace man, i hope if you are dead its better than anything ever was back here, you deserve it.

while im here i figure i may as well catch you up on everything goin on, not anywhere near as good as getting to freak out about it on here with you but i think its the best im gonna get. so basically a couple days ago frank posted five random dates in the shape of the mcr logo and that was. jesus frank. the dates are 11/13, 2/16, 3/7, 2/24, and 12/6. i now live in fear. and then today the official mcr account posted a picture with a background that looks reminiscent of paper kingdom, oh god, 150 peices of,, ash? confetti?? falling down over large red letters that spell out a backwards k and then cr. so basically. going insane over if this is mcr5 or not. fuck youll never get to see mcr5 will you? fucking scary, feels wrong to get excited about it without you. i hope youre okay, i really fucking hope youre okay and all this is for nothing i hope youre in the hospital because soneone found you before it was too late and you just cant have your phone because of it, i hope you didnt even do anything and youre just staying off tumblr just anything, please, fuck man you have to be okay alright?? im scared, i really miss you, i know we werent that close or even close at all but you mean do much to me alright i need you i need you to be fine. i hope you see this. oh, on the topic of not being close, i uh. never learned your real name. i made a small patch with your username and put it in the left breast pocket of my coat, i hope thats alright. wanted you close to me and all

i think thats it, so uh. this is goodbye i suppose. i didnt get to say goodbye before. saw your post 2 hours late. it hurts, i try not to get too caught up in the what ifs though. its hard. so goodbye friend, until next time. i hope to see you again. i love you.

I'm not dead!

I'm sorry I scared you like really badly but I'm okay

What happened was I like almost didn't but I didn't go deep enough to do any real harm to myself

I cut a little but not the full way so I'm fine but if I had went all the way I would probably be gone bc no one did like come in my room for a while after

I've just been staying off of here and not really posting because I didn't really think anyone would really care if I was dead or not

But I know you do

Also I really appreciate you saying what's been happening with MCR thank u

I know abt everything but still u telling me is really sweet, thank you

The patch is really nice, thank you

I feel like doing something similar since u did that and I probably scared the living shit out of you so yeah something with ur user maybe idk is that weird idk

I love you too man

I'm really sorry for scaring you I just didn't know what to do that day and I'm sorry for not really posting anything after that 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[the-s1lly-corner]

If requests are still open, can you please write about Bump winding up in the human realm completely by accident? (Either due to Eda's nonsense or some natural portal that already existed due to a pool of titan blood, or whatever you can come up with)

Bump going to the human realm!

been a hot minute since ive last written for bump but since youre my silly funky moot i shall bust out the old man just this once!!!

honestly, i think im going to leave the means of how he got there and back to the demon realm up to you and any other readers since i may or may not lack any creative thought in terms of specifics

he would be... so so confused, and may even almost out himself as a witch to other people... thankfully, no one seems to suspect the literal imp on his head

in fact as a funny little haha/reasoning, lets simply say people think hes cosplaying some obscure character or oc that people dont really know about and frewin is just a really really well made prop/accessory

"oh how did you make that?" "i carved him :}"

i think he would initially freak out, i mean who wouldnt? you literally travel across into a new world that youve never been to; and likely would never go to (at least not until the very end of the show where you gain the option to, but thats late in your life, you know?) add in the culture shock aaaaand

but i think, given how bump is in times of stress (cough cough the literal attack on hexside with adrian as well as opening the school to the students during the day of unity) i think he would pull himself together to maneuver around

doesnt have human money and im not sure how many places would take snails, so options are very limited for stuff; cant go no where that charges you nor can he buy anything

maybe its the fact hes an old man, or maybe i just love the idea, but i think he would hang around the park and sit on a bench trying to come up with ideas on how to get back to the boiling isles

he ponders, and yet he has no orb

oooo okay but how funny would it be if he actually ended up being fairly popular with the humans

rounding back to the mistaken cosplay idea imagine some people ask to take pictures with him and he just "???"

for haha funny lets say he agrees and now theres just

pictures of bump floating around

is it a dumb idea? yes. would he be more likely to turn down a photo request? oh yeah definitely, especially since he doesnt know the people. but is it likely that some people take pictures of him without his consent? unfortunately, yes, especially in this day and age

as a little bonus hc before i tie this up imagine luz; either before or after getting stuck in the isles (before the portal door was destroyed at the end of season 1 since it seemed to cut off her internet connection to the human world) or sometime during her return to the human realm... whatever im dragging this out but like basically how funny would it be if luz comes across this picture of bump while scrolling human social media

the DOUBLE TAKE

like she checks to see if shes actually on the BI of IG but.. nope, thats bump

[hannahbarberra162]

thank you so much for responding to me twice now!! im sorry im sending these in so frequently, I dont know how tumblr works but i hope that, even if you dont post a reply to this, (which btw you NEVER have to, please dont feel obligated), i honestly only want you to read the ask. (even then its okay if you dont lol), im a bit overenthusiastic about your work, if you couldn't tell haha 😓 (not that it doesn't deserve all the enthusiasm in the world!!- I just know I can ramble when something excites me.)  I'll try to space out my asks more as to not overwhelm you or anything. i  honesty would love to read whatever you have to offer, even if it's just posting little snippets. I feel bad requesting stuff, though, from what I've read you're probably a busy college student with enough on your plate! still, without making any specific requests, whatever you have to offer, ill eat up like it's my last meal!! id love to see your works on other chatacters! i honestly didn't even really care heavily for mihawk or shanks but you know damn well i ate up your works on them! and like i said, i dont even really know Marco besides your interpretation, (which are canon in my mind haha) and literally had to look up who thatch was. yet i STILL have enjoyed your writings with them to the point ive been up late wondering what happens next. whatever you write, ill enjoy! you just have such incredibly intriguing stories, i honestly have never been so hooked before. thank you so much for writing! i guessed that either Marco or Ace was your favorite, so im glad i was close with Ace! i had the same sort of question as i did with Marco, but I didn't wanna ask both in one message. kinda a 'why him', sorta thing, not that i dont get this one completely- ive seen him in action and i love ace too! But i wanna hear why YOU love him, how YOU see him, same as what i asked for Marco. you don't have to answer if you dont want to! i know ive already typed a lot, so ill cut myself off here!! thank you my goat!! 🐐 and thank you for my appreciation of the WBP!!

(I've also really enjoyed your jinbe work so far!! he's one of my favorites🌊)

@celine-zzz Don't be sorry!!! This made my day, my week, my month! I lose confidence a lot and reading things like this make me think it's worth it. Thank you so so so much for your praise!!!! I actually screenshot nice asks like these and reread them haha. Ask whatever you want!! I like interacting with other people!!! Talk to me all you want!!!

I don't mind getting requests, I just don't ask for them bc I don't know that I can fulfill what people want. But I'm always happy to try! Heat Transfer is actually based off a Nonnie ask and I spiraled from there.

And, ah, I'm quite a few years past my college days 🫠🫠🫠 I'm not sure if that's better or worse, but time comes for us all.

In truth I started writing characters I felt I had a better handle on. I find Ace to be the most relatable. I think he's the most like someone you could potentially meet, maybe other than Law. Someone who is confident and self loathing and insecure and smart and dumb and self assured and all of that wrapped in a cute bundle with freckles. I also find Ace easy to write because I do feel that I've met people like him in real life, so I think of the dumb shit they would do lol. He reminds me a lot of a few of my friends, maybe that's why I feel protective over him.

That isn't a very good answer, but in summary he's my bby and I want the best for him <3.

Jinbe is who I'd actually want to ship myself with (see self indulgent fic) and I'd most want to be friends with and spend the day with Usopp.

[1800duckhotline]

what is vampire the masquerade and whats killer is dead. i assume videod games but i could be wrong... you seem to be having soo much fun im nosaayy 😁

omg hi mani im so flattered u would ask!! yeah ive been in the throes of videogames lately AHAH... oc brained but videogame about it sort of...

vampire the masquerade is actually a ttrpg originally published in the 80s i think, but it keeps getting updated so its not like. anything super old... whenever i mention "vampire the masquerade: bloodlines" im talking about the 2004 videogame created based off of the ttrpg! im biased in loving vtm and vtmb since well. it's about vampires. but i think it's an unique take on them that like makes the supernatural aspect not too boring compared to the classic supernatural vampire take. since it involves clans, a lot of vampire politics and societal aspects to it all, etc... Bloodlines itself is not a perfect game (ill avoid geeking out too much about the brief dev hell history it had) but i value it so dearly bc its so 2004 and is so gothic/alternative in its genuine influence. also the story is goofy but really good too (with um, simultaneously, the con that It Is a 2004 Game, meaning it has a lot of weird bigotries that were normalized for the time lol). Unforchy it's almost unplayable without downloading an additional patch mod that restores also a lot of cut content ^_^ but you make do... its so easy to make ocs for the game and the general ttrpg, sooo many ways you can go with your characters!! Bloodlines itself as a game is an action/adventure RPG mostly focused on combat (with stuff like stealth sessions) as well as various ways to resolve different quests. the variety of said outcomes is mostly limited by the fact the studio wasn't able to polish the game at all for release due to activision, the publisher, pushing troika games (dev team) to release the game early to compete with half life 2 at the time (yeah crazy i know). that said, the dialogues can be really charming and fun and offer a nice variety of things to do.. its not perfect but seriously is the best vampire RPG game around so far..

killer is dead is completely different (mostly because i can never focus on one thing for too long lmfao), it's an hack and slash 2014 game created by suda51 and grasshopper manufacture (same game devs behind no more heroes, lollipop chainsaw, shadows of the damned etc) and it's. an okay game. i dont even know if i can explain the story bc its like, a clusterfuck. and usually clusterfuck stories are goichi suda's specialty but this one goes over the moon (funny joke if You Know). it's a pretty mid game. I love it on one hand bc its easy to play and very stylish, tho the shaders sometimes can give you an headache. I also love the protagonist (mondo zappa) because to me thats a butch not just some guy. Unfortunately the game has the very strong cons of being too short for the kind of game it is, and also has an infamously bizarre minigame that's called "gigolo missions"... you basically go on "dates" with beauties (sexy girls basically), you give them gifts until they 'love' you and then you go have sex and they give you weapon upgrades as a result. the date though consists of you building up your "guts meter" by looking at their boobs or legs so it's like. REALLY STRANGE. CANT HASHTAG IM SORRY FEMINISM OUT OF THIS ONE I'M AFRAID.... it's so conflicting bc apparently suda didn't want to add this function but publishers forced him to. oh well. a solid 6.5/10 tbh. idk if i'd reccomend it tho maybe gameplays are better than getting it at full price imo (i got my game as a gift)

UM SO SORRY FOR GEEKING OUT...I HOPE THE EXPLANATION WAS CLEAR. My brain keeps jumping from media to media with no pause... i wanna focus on ocs again but this keeps happening hahaha

[gamora-borealis]

hi so im one of those ppl that watched dnp religiously years ago and ive been out of the loop for a long time so what’s the thing about the wedding theory & the phil tag thing? if you dont mind explaining or maybe pointing me in the direction of someone else who could?

Oh well hello welcome back! Very long rambley answer under the cut :)

Tbh there's been way more insane stuff that's happened since, but in 2022 the biggest thing that had happened was Dan released his video "Why I Quit YouTube" where he announced that he was going on a solo tour ("We're All Doomed") and making some YouTube videos to go along with / promote the tour ("Dystopia Daily"). So I don't remember the exact details (I bet if you search dan and phil iceland on tumblr you might find some stuff), but Dan's tour was supposed to end in Iceland, and based on some stuff his friend PJ said on twitch it seemed like maybe he (and his gf) and Dan and Phil were going to have a vacation in Iceland after the last show. And idk if there was anything else (like maybe based on stuff they were liking on social media idk lol) people were like... what if they are having a wedding in Iceland after the last show? Apparently Iceland has been advertised as a gay wedding tourism destination too so idk. I think tumblr phannies were just bored and clowning but also it was 2022 which was the infamous prophesized year they were supposed to get married (based on a joke Crabstickz made years ago), so there was this thought like, what if they get married in early 2023 (when the Iceland show was supposed to be) out of spite.

Anyways, the Iceland show ended up getting cancelled. I'm not exactly sure why, but there were some other cancelled shows too and some people suspect it was due to poor ticket sales / too many shows in one city / issues with venues (maybe they were scheduling some that were too big) / issues with promotion (dan's management and touring agencies left most of the promotion to him outside of the standard local venues in-house promotion). Both Dan and Phil got new management this year after all that (Dan now has an agent for his comedy / touring stuff, Phil has an agent for his own channel, and then they have another agent for the gaming channel).

Anyways, 2023 kicked off and Dan and Phil started doing all kinds of insane stuff, which that's a whole other long post about how wild this year has been (Japhan 3.0, OnlyPhans, Gaming Channel comeback, Dan being a slutty nun for Halloween baking, Catboy calendar, etc) and they have been pretty open and comfortable together online lately (while still being fairly private) and more settled in their lives that some people actually think they might actually be getting married. Which, idk maybe we are just being insane again but this time I actually do think it's more believable lol. They bought/designed a house together (though I think it's actually a condo? penthouse? something like that) and Phil has had some health issues so even though they might not really be the kind to want to get married, some people are wondering if they might do it for legal reasons and also to maybe celebrate their relationship with family since Dan came out to his family and then like 9 months after their coming out videos the pandemic happened. Also doesn't help that next year is their 15th anniversary, which the anniversary of the first day they met takes place on the same day Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance are performing at the We Were Young Festival 2024 lmaooo. I mean some people are still convinced that they are queerplatonic and romantic exes or something like that but there's a lot they have shared that heavily implies that they aren't.

Okay, now the Phil tag examiner... Idk there was this blog that kept sending people asks anytime they posted something in the Dan and Phil or dnp tags that didn't explicitly mention Phil, and were like "hello this is the Phil tag examiner please keep posts only about Dan out of the Dan and Phil tag" and it was kinda funny to be honest. It stopped after a while idk what happened to them but no one was taking them seriously.

Anyways, I got back into dnp while Dan was on his tour about a year ago, and it's been such a wild year and now is probably like one of the best times to start watching them again there's sooo much new content with the gaming channel and they are being very authentically themselves it's really great.

[allamericansbitch]

Can you maybe (only if you want to) rank Taylor’s albums and maybe also explain why you’d rank them like that?

oh okay ill try

evermore - my beloved, i love how every single song has such a strong identity if that makes sense. like there's this common debate that evermore is the better album but folklore has better songs? i think folklore has a strong identity as an album but the songs dont as much as evermore. every song is so unique and lives in it's own world and i LOVE taylors voice with real instruments and her storytelling is peaked here.

folklore - everything that i said about evermore basically but slightly less. i love the vibes she was able to capture and the whole album paints such a picture- i've always felt like taylor is at her strongest when she's doing something new and this being such a new place for her (genre and writing wise) shows how refreshed she must have felt.

speak now - the most dramatic, messy and honest album in my opinion. its so late teens/early 20s to me in terms of subject matter and i love when she uses some rock influence in her songs and theres so much guitar in this album i love it. also the fact that it's entirely self written insane.

1989 - a modern classic. this also strengthens my theory that taylor is at her strongest when she's doing something new and challenging. i cant believe the first time she tried pop she came out with style, ootw, blank space, etc.... like wtf. the lyrics arent as poetic as one would hope but there still good and very impressive.

fearless - my baby. there's just something so bittersweet about this album and it's so solid. there's not a lot i would cut (from the standard version... vault tracks are different) and its so wholesome and full of whimsy. i love the production on it too, i think it works with her voice so so well and it's aged beautifully.

midnights - okay heres the thing, every criticism ive seen about this album makes sense and i agree but for some reason after seeing it live... idk i like it a lot. there definitely are skips and i get why people were just unimpressed truly... but some of the songs are so insanely catchy and i like the way her voice sounds... cant explain it.

red - i think this album is really good when you're in a certain place in your life or a certain mood, it's not an everyday album for me. i think it has some of her best ballads/slow songs but the upbeat ones lack for me. the best ones are holy ground and state of grace tbh. plus with how long red tv is... it's a bit overwhelming.

debut - she's cute but she could be improved upon and it's her first album so we can cut her some slack, i love iomwiwy, tim mcgraw, picture to burn, should've said no, our song, etc. she has standouts she's nice.

reputation - this is where we go into the negatives outway the positives. this production is way too much for me, like i said her voice sounds it's best with real instruments underneath is to me- so this really fake manufactured production just doesnt work. it also aged sooo badly to me. this album live is a different story tbh but recorded it's just not my fav. when she's performing it live she adds real instruments and im praying that she does that with the rerecording because it helps so much. the only songs i would literally die for her not to change is lwymmd, dress, so it does, and ready for it. i think dont blame me is so overrated and dont understand why people love it.... im sorry. it's so basic to me... we've seen the whole 'your live is my drug' this so often and the production is basic too... i feel like anyone could be singing it.

lover - my god what this album could have been. this has some of her best and some of her worst. my list of complaints is long. i dont like the production- same reasons as reputation, way too fake and clunky. some of the lyrics are.... wild. the setlist is strange, i would cut like 4 songs tbh. i love cruel summer, inthaf, sygb, lover, london boy and false god.

[chryzure-archive]

im sorry abt your surgery, ill be there in spirit to hold your hand if you need it <3 wishing you the best and hopefully its just a scare and nothing to worry too much abt!!

as for asks...

i always love your music taste so, 5 songs youve had on repeat lately that make you think of chryzure + chrysijacks? also, if they were each a pair of unlikely animal friends (ie, a pig and a monkey lol) which ones would they be? def feeling rabbit and cat for chryzure.

this question is a very self-indulgent one cus ive been going thru a huge superhero phase but, if they were superheroes which ones would they be? this could either be made-up or existing superheroes-- personally, i think chrysi would be an AMAZING black cat/felicia hardy, she has the white hair and the dark aesthetic to match it :3 i def think azure would be a mutant/x-men (no particular reason, it just seems to match him?) and jacks... well, jacks is just giving me deadpool energy. slutty antihero? i think yes. it'd be cool to know what kind of superhero abilities youd assign to them tho :33

thank you 🖤 please hold my other hand though, they’re cutting up my right one 🤧 hopefully there’s nothing to worry abt since my family has a history of the weirdness w/o the cancer..

chryzure songs:

so good right now // fall out boy (wanted the whole album to make me think of chrysigil, then it jst wound up being chryzure and chrysijacks coded…)

xyz // technoplanet (vv specific vibe, idk why, but instrumentals like this make me go crazy, go wild)

anicent history // the crane wives (teehee! in agony thinking abt them separated)

in my head // mike shinoda, kailee morgue ((bonus song, still alive // demi lovato because screamvi brainrot real….. jst saying the au goes wild!))

cartoon people // billie marten (the vibes themselves……)

chrysijacks songs (he’s more annoying):

chapstick // coin (sorry, juno…:(( sorry jacks ruined this for you)

summer // circadian clock, baethoven (biting him!)

blood in the cut // k.flay (sorry juno pt.2)

hold my like a grudge // fall out boy (part-time soulmate, full-time problem too real for chrysijacks…)

121U // day6 (I DONT WANT TO WANT YOU I DONT WANT TO LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!)

chryzure is kittybunny lovers all the time… they are doing this right now:

chrysijacks is kitty and fox… sorry, the legend of the archer and the fox is actually abt chrysijacks and chrysi’s the archer and jacks is the fox!! idk what was going on in the books, get ur facts right!

((more proof is that i had a chrysijacks song called the fox before the book came out + the lyrics imply jacks not wanting to be the fox and hunted down by the archer… explain this 🤨))

oh my god, i looked up black cat and you’re RIGHT, that’s sooo chrysi??? esp the probability thing… explains why azure’s gotten such bad luck over the years.

if i were to make chrysi her own superhero, hmmm….. i feel like she’d summon ghosts and stuff… ??????? idk, i’ve never thought abt it 🫢 i mean, the funniest option is totally that she can bring back the dead and summon ghosts and stuff, but she never fucking uses that in favor of bashing ppl’s heads in w a baseball bat. OH, wait, her fated abilities include causing fear and giving nightmares, so maybe i could do something like that!!! she can keep the ghost summoning thing if she wants. idk what name i’d give her. it’s so hard coming up w a good superhero name. nightmare is too basic + i’m sure there’s thousands of ppl w that superhero name 💀 oh well!

AZURE WOULD SOOOOO HAVE X-MEN VIBES. he gets to go to a special little mutant school and have like minded peers… little special princess boy 🙄 SOME people learned they inflict fear on ppl and had to deal with it ALONE, but it’s fine. it’s rlly okay.

his powers probably are jst spatial manipulation, but he’s good enough at it that it looks like it’s jst telekinesis… and also teleportation :) jst the idea of him tricking ppl he has one power when it’s actually another makes me go crazy, go wild!!! idk what his title would be either. this is HARD, how do comic book writers do it!!!

yes. jacks is a whore. fuck him. i want him dead in a ditch. his powers are making ppl love him and want to obey him? rlly? he gets everything handed to him on a platter???? killing him killing him killing him!!!! he’d be the villain that chrysi and azure have to take down first, but they get there and jacks is jst rlly lameand they’re like, “…….. okay, guess we’ll leave you alive….?” and now he’s a thorn in their side that doesn’t leave ://////

[cyanlastride]

theres a reason im so nervous and avoidant. that reason has a lot to do with why i will never learn how to do magic tricks.

see, i like magic tricks. i think theyre pretty neat. a lot of clever thinking and sleight of hand go into them. a lot of them use decks of cards, which i also think are pretty neat.

one of my main hobbies is playing card games. not ones that use standard 52-card playing decks, but rectangular pieces of cardboard nonetheless. one might think, "oh, thats neat! so if you learn how to card magic card tricks, you could maybe learn to do them with your fancy-shmancy cards!" and youd be correct. its a little bit tougher, especially because the cards i play with are sleeved, but the same sleight of hand fundamentals apply. you may begin to see the problem here.

lets say that in between matches, we have some downtime, so i decide to perform a little trick for my opponent. i have them choose a card, i shuffle it into the deck, they cut the deck, i seem to utterly lose track of it, and then tada! its back on top. wow, wasnt that fun? okay, lets play our next game. shuffle up, cut, alrighty, so my deck really needs this powerful card to function-- and wouldnt you know it, its on top. hm. my opponent isnt smiling anymore. in fact, theyre calling a judge.

it is for this very reason that i will never learn how to do card tricks -- because if i know how to do them, and my opponent knows i know how to do them, it doesnt matter if i use those skills to cheat or not. just knowing that i have the power to play unfairly destroys the trust necessary to play the game.

in high school, i learned a lot (as i imagine most people do) about self-expression. i found that i could fit it with many different types of people, as long as i spent time watching for what kind of traits those people like in others. this became subconscious for me -- i would act one way around one friendgroup, and a different way around another, and everyone liked me, albeit substantially different versions of me. i think this is fairly normal for everyone -- we all have a way we act when we're at work, vs at home, vs with friends. that, as far as im aware, is normal.

the problem arises when i want something from someone. ive become very good at knowing how to frame questions, how to position my body, how to act nervous or shy or bored or frustrated or respectful or even commanding, so that i get what i want. and its all subconscious -- i couldnt really tell you how i do it, but i know that i do it because i get yeses when my peers get nos. i have the power to play unfairly.

so, when i want something from somebody but i know that they may not want to give it to me, and i want to respect their right to deny me the thing, i practice extreme self-control. i force myself to be almost robotic, take extra effort to see the situation from every angle, and be very clear with them what their options are and that they can, and are even encouraged, to deny me whatever it is that i want. i actively shoot myself in the foot to counteract my own desires. i do this because i am terrified that one day i am going to ask for something i want, the person is going to give it to me, and then later theyre going to realize that i cheated. or that, at the very least, i couldve cheated. and that will destroy the trust required to play the game. this is not a hypothetical; this has happened to me at least twice before.

so when i ask if youre free to talk, but its okay if youre not cuz i know its late and im fine i just wanted to chat;

when i ask if you want to hang out sometime, oh but you have that thing tomorrow dont you, oh well im busy anyways so no worries;

when you lean up against me, and i freeze;

its not because i want you to say no. its because im terrified of influencing you at all in your decision to say yes.

because the trust required to play the game has already been destroyed -- i destroyed it in myself. so all i can do is hope that you are able to read my mind. and when you encounter no encouragement nor resistance, you keep going.

[sapphictigress]

Episode i forgot because its been a month

I was listening to teh cut animo & welles album while playing modded MC and my friend @cloudystrwbrry called me gay so i then decided to play some MCSM before i have to go to work

Im love you petra, i will willingly race you anytime

I love the DLC but surprisingly i think this episode is my least favorite?? idk maybe because its something infront of episode 7 which is my ABSOLUTE favorite episode of the DLC

also if thats episode 7 does that mean im playing episode 6? i didnt look at the number and yet i know the Redstone computer one is episode 7.....

I was accidentally nice to torquedawg u-u

"you've got.... a boyyss name......" farewell only youtuber i know not of

Okay but i do think it wouldve been fun if the Host was a Youtuber, wouldve made it very not obvious who the antagonist is because there is only ONE non youtuber a part of the cast

'MMm yes delicious im poisened now i huffed that arrow a little too good' thanks Ivor

The suspicious wink Jesse gives to sparkle pants like damn

When ever Petra speaks im just like Hello Ashley Johnson how are you doing today

also like, The host say the crew running via the window, how did they have time to make the portraits?????????????????????

I do feel bad for lucas this man just gets picked on for no reason

I love the dangangobnronpa portraits though lmao

If we stick together, the killer cant leave to kill somebody without it being obvious who to wittle down! just like- AMONG US (ive been watching Alpharad's mongy monday streams lately so i got the mogus on the brain)

These guys aint slick on private conversations *yelling* LIZZIE PSSSST LIZZIE

"Oh, was I" (upset about inventory poking) She said it so suspiciously like goddamn girl. The voice directing is actually so good for these lines she sounds so caught in her actions rn

WAIT IS THIS GAME WHERE I GOT CALLING SOMEONE PRICKLY FROM (subconsciously) BECAUSE I HAVE A RUDE COWORKER WHO GETS COMPLAINTS ALL THE TIME AND I may or may not have called them prickly to a customer..... this was like 2 months after knowing said coworker. Im much quieter about said opinions to customers now, mostly just apologize for it because nothing is ever going to change uwu (I do not want to work there anymore)

Im just over here gossiping with my friends about these strangers i met 5 minutes ago

Okay but 4 random strangers show up, your 'prickly' friend is dead and 3 of them gossip in a corner while one goes to each clique and asks questions?????? y'all just let this happen?????

Jesse: YO IT OPENS PORTALS!! i mean, just a lucky guess! Jesse you buffoon

Okay but Dan being bored and UBER CURIOUS about the button is hilarious tho

also gendered sentences are soooo stupid it just keeps your brain thinking about a mystery man but like,,, if you use they them for a person you know nothing about WOW your options get so much bigger! and also i feel like it kind of creates a twist where the cast is using he/him pronouns for a masked killer but BUM BUM the killer was a GIRL ALL ALONG!!! idk just seems cheep to me

also again letting Jesse / people from Jesse's crew mess with the crime scene??? like,, Let at least ONE person from the other group in there as a buffer! but i guess thats too logical for a story now isnt it

AND THEN IVOR AND PETRA NOT LETTING ANYONE IN LIKE GUYS IT MAKES Y'ALL LOOK SUSSY AS HELL

Also petra my beloved rushing into the room :333 (about 1 whole minute too late but you know she's doing her best)

Love how Cassie banked on someone having ADHD or just didnt plan to kill anyone yet

ACAB includes Jesse (Like DUDE you're making me mad >:|)

ACAB INCLUDES JESSE

Jesse youre being a bitch

PETRA IM JUST INTERROGATING THE MAN YOU DONT HAVE TO ROUGH HOUSE HIM WHADDA HELL

who let cassie out of their sight

who's working security in this bitch? cause Petra's hanging with me for the interrogation

(also how do i insure Lizzie stays alive? no offense to Dan im just a misandrist /s)

not me cheating and looking it up and realizing she might be doomed already... we'll see

okay but i do like the gag how every scene dan has a new hair color

I hate directional arrows... just dies because i was hitting up because it was forward but technically the arrow was pointing down, my brain cant function with stuff like that :((((

Ivor: I'll watch over lukas *Smacks his ass*

I love her your honor

I like i absolutely love all the small things about petra love knowing she whittles

-Work intermission-

-the next day- (I did in fact look that this is indeed Episode 6)

Cassie was just mining around the location of the portal after she found it and happened upon like 7 zombie spawners all next to eachother and was like Oh yeah.. Its all coming together >:)

Stampy: What are you doing down here?? Didnt we *Just* say we were going in to find cluess for the white pumpkin?? didnt we say that Petra?

Petra: That looks like a Lair door if i ever saw one That looks like a trap door if i ever saw one

"Its not your fault the spiders got him" OOPSIES I SENT HIMN THERE TO HIS DOOM ON POURPUS

okay but Cassie why do you have so many back up winslows??? not healthy!

Jesse i know youre a pig person but dont be rude

Okay yes actually it makes sense that Cassie isnt a youtuber cause she wasnt from this world but also like, think of the fun of a proper twist!

also damn Cassie got them screenshot abilities

"they're all about portals, thats pretty obsessive" YOU'D BE TOO IF YOU COULDNT FIND SHIT TO GET OUT TOO JESSE

OLD FISH TEXTURE MY BELOVED

I dont love you anymore Petra (/s They could Never make me hate you)

Get Danmganronpad Idiot, thats what you get for not liking cats >:(

Honestly surprised Lizzie did all this research that Cassie apparently couldnt do? like you'd think Cassie would've had her hands on those tomes

Girl you're not mentally well

She was doing ye olde pufferfish to calm her nerves

"its not your fault" Dans death was. oopsies!

Remember when endermites were just purple silverfish? i do now!

the smile makes it everything

Also the sand falling into the mite pit just means that Cassie can escape AND I ACTUALLY REMEMBER THE VERY END OF SEASON 2 WHERE I THINK IF YOU STAY IN TOWN SHE SENDS YOU OMINOUS MAIL LMAO

nvm the sand is gone now

A. Winslow doesnt deserve endermite damnation B. nobody is a master of a cat C. you dont deserve an animal companion if you call yourself a "Master"

MINECRAFT SALMON WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???!

"Advent~ure~" Ivor you silly silly man

[malfromtheblue]

of course hon!! i see you've started reblogging things; that's awesome! 💕

fantastic genres!! anything in particular that you've read or been reading lately that you've enjoyed?

that is so sick, tbqh! rock music is such a classic, it's hard to find someone who doesn't like it. have you ever listened to sleeping at last? it's more soft and slow, and some of the songs don't have vocals. i wish i could hear you play your guitar, i bet it's awesome.

those girls are bonkers, hon. people and their biases are so 🙄 anyone can write smut! imagine if only certain people could write specific genres. that would be remarkably boring. i bet your writing is awesome; it's fun to dabble in different styles! i need to get back to writing poetry and short stories myself. i've burnt out on working on my original works.

poetry is especially important to have that raw emotion in it. if we aren't pouring our hearts out in each stanza, then it's not going to leave a lasting impact.

even the most basic of tea preferences are important! tea can really soothe a person, even if it's just one cup. i don't think i've ever put honey in my tea, though. maybe just once? usually, i'm a sucker for some cane sugar when i want a sweeter cup.

a tea date sounds so cute!! especially as we move towards cooler weather. i hope you have the opportunity to do so in the near future 🥰

- 🐰

lemme just say it makes me SO happy to have someone who relates to me! ive always been into The Maze Runner. Newt was my mate, rooted for him till he died. Then i rooted for Minho and was thrilled when Teresa died (she was annoyin, okay?). that's a series that ill never get sick of! i just started readin the Percy Jackson series. its okay, i dont quite see all the fuss about it? maybe it gets better further in. there was one book that i haven't read in the longest. called, Gregor and the Prophecy of Bane. it was from a series. that was the only book i had and i read it over and over. also, The spiderwick chronicles is an amazing series too! its also a movie

Rock music is good, i agree. i dont think ive heard of Sleeping At Last, but ill check em out for you, darlin!

poetry is quite literally my way of life? people tend to get freaked out when they see me?? i either get compliments or complaints. in the UK people kinda shyed away from me cuz i wear eyeliner and am more what would be called 'punk'. but people here are pretty cut throat. some old man said that i was the child of Satan since i dressed like a demon? but a girl that same day said i had a "sexy slut waist"? and an old french lady called me "Yeux de sirène" or what she said was Mermaid Eyes. she said i could hypnotize anyone because my eyes are a really light blue. what i was getting at with this is, no one expects me to be as down to earth as i am? possibly because of my looks?

now, mind you im not necessarily a nature person but if im spendin time outside its because im readin, writin, or takin care of my plants! and or of course, drinkin tea like a good UKnian.

m really excited to be able to go on a tea date as well! i think its a cute idea and it would be perfect for a first date. even if im obsessing about her, i want my Doll to feel as though it isn't going too fast. even if my mind is sputtering wildly, i want to try and go slow... dont wanna freak her out? m sure ya understand, Bunny anon?

~Mal 💕

[bye-bye-firefly]

Okie! I’m going to try to think of a request! I once again do not know what this request shall be. I’m going to look through some of your notes for ideas.

Alright, maybe for the purposes of making characters filled with Sleep Deprivation, (because I’ve found that I really like how you write sleepiness, promise next time I’ll try to ask for something different!) there could be a sleepover. And there can be Miu with all her little inventions and one sec. Gonna look at that one poll thingy with the tables.

Found it! There could be Kokichi and Kiibo too. And they have a lot of those cool candles with really obscure names there for some reason? Maybe they just bought them or made them or maybe they’re just There and no one knows why. I dunno??

Also I think it should be noted that I went and googled stuff about the late 2000s and I found out cereal straws are a thing??? Like straws that you eat??? I did not know about this. It was very shocking. The cocoa krispies ones kinda look like those chocolatey stick things that have soft chocolate insides, can’t remember what they’re called, and it made me really crave those.

Anyway, I think that’s it! Sleepover ft. Candles. If it doesn’t seem fun, feel free not to write it. Not like there’s much of a point if there’s no enjoyment being gained! Also, are there like any things in particular that you’ve been interested in writing about? I’ve already asked about your favorite things but like I wanted to ask more questions about stuff you like.

(Btw, thank you for the reassurances that you wouldn’t yell at me, it did actually make me feel better!)

nothing is really hitting me right now regarding how to go with this idea but maybe it'll hit me later. for right now i dont think ill go with it BUT im glad you asked anyway! its always good to ask ^_^ plus i might return to it and make a version of it

and stuff ive been interested in writing...well as always sleep deprivation and eventual sleep (which is basically hurt/comfort which is WHYYY hurt/comfort is my favourite trope. this threw my friends for a loop when we did like a friend quiz for funsies but to be so fair to them i did include sleepy boys as an option which i threw in as a trick answer) but also i just love horror. i like writing unsettling shit yo which is why in recent years all ive been writing is horror. but even in my early days as a fic writer i was writing horror like propaganda is a drama and a horror fic but its not really psychological and its not as overbearing as some of my newer work (some of which is also. not published yet...)

other stuff . other stuff i like to write. trying desperately to remember all the things i like to write. uh. illness. sick fics are good. its why i had like multiple chapters in nameless have either kokichi or shuichi be sick

okay heres the thing is im obsessed with a few concepts and im going to just ramble under the cut about those things and these are things that like form everything i write and create and think about and how i see the world OKAY? okay

so the first thing has to do with tlou1 and it kind of goes hand in hand with the illness but only KIND OF. so you know that joel gets hurt and then goes into a bit of a Coma while he recovers but i dont give a shit about that i care about ONE THING. joel gets hurt right. ellie pulls him up. and hes STILL fighting. hes STILL pushing himself for HER. and she is this little kid and she can barely hold her own but shes gonna fucking try so you have joel stumbling through while hes losing blood and. theres this one part. if you remember this. where joel stumbles and almost falls over and ellie goes, "here, lean on me." and he goes "No." and she goes "well can you walk?" and he goes "Yes!" and shes like "then fucking walk!" and she lets him walk even though he can barely walk in a straight line let alone stand up because they respect and trust each other but she is still obviously scared that shes about to lose him and hes scared that hes about to lose her and i love that bit of the game so much. the way joel is barely able to move and do anything and therefore you as the player are barely able to do anything to help ellie and you feel so helpless and she can STILL hold her own and you are STILL a team and you are FIGHTING so FUCKING HARD and youre NEARLY THERE!!! and joel ONLY lets go when they are safe. he only falls over when he knows they are safe. he physically cannot go on any longer even though he wants to. THAT is a scene and concept ive written privately for like my own characters and even for nameless though that scene was never popped into the story. i like seeing gravely injured characters fight so hard for the people they care about, and then i love being able to see the people they fought hard for scared that they might not make it. theres so much care and devotion and LOYALTY in that and i love using it for like parent-child duos or even ships like. the Versatility. this is everything to me. and like. who WOULDNT do that for someone they care about? who WOULDNT risk their life to save someone they love? who WOULDNT hold on for a little longer for them?

okay next thing. this is something that comes from tlou2 which i dont believe youve actually seen because penny hasnt played it completely . ..? i think ? ? i havent caught up with the streams...but anyway im gonna talk in vague terms about this but basically. ive talked about this in a note before i know i have. but theres this whole long conversation between joel and ellie that ends with ellie being like "i shouldve died in that hospital. my life wouldve fucking MATTERED." and joel tells her, "if god gave me a second chance in that moment...i would do it ALL again." and when you go through tlou2 you know just what that means. its all the pain. and despite everything, he would do it again and he says this to her face when she is at her angriest, her most bitter, and she says. and this has ALWAYS made me cry and im like tearing up thinking about it she says "i dont know if i can forgive you for that. but...i would like to try." and ever since i saw that scene i can say for certain that has like changed me fundamentally like this has shaped me and tlou1 has shaped me. its just. god. GOD!!! I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT. BUT...I WOULD LIKE TO TRY. DO YOU GET IT??? im loinsg it im losing my MIND its the love its the capacity for forgiveness for something that to you is only unforgivable and THATS what tlou2 is about as well people may tell you its the revenge is bad game but its ALWAYS about forgiveness and they dont get it like i do and its tragic and at the same time provides closure and its bittersweet and its that bittersweetness that i love and i love writing scenes and stories that are essentially just i dont know if i could ever forgive you for that, but i would like to try. we hurt each other so much and so often we hurt the people we love unintentionally and its so hard to forgive and sometimes it takes a long time to get to the point where we can. and sometimes we cant forgive. sometimes we never get to that point. but i think its beautiful to try for someone you love too much to lose. i think its really beautiful.

and finally. this goes kind of hand in hand with everything ive written here. im just fixated on the idea of fighting through people or something destructive right like this person is fighting so hard through something covered in blood or muck and the dust settles and theyre shaky and they see the person they were fighting so hard for and they just relax and gather them up in their arms and its the knowledge that theyre okay, its okay............not having to fight anymore is what its all about at the end of the day. and that also leads to eepies

but at the end of the day its all about love really. everything adds up to effort and love

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Jealous ll

Part 2!!!! I linked the sone again cause its a bop and I love it also heres pt one!

You had had enough

Thats what you kept telling yourself

As you got ready tonight

You weren't going sit in the house anymore waiting for keigo to show up whenever he felt like it

Tonight you were going out for you

You thought about how you used to have fun, how you used to be happy

And how miserable you had been lately and you decided

If Keigo didnt appreciate you anymore

Then you'd find someone who would

So thats why you found yourself looking in the mirror admiring how well you dressed up tonight to go out

You almost forgot how hot you were when you put in a little effort

You had originally stopped because keigo would tell you how beautiful and perfect you were without make up or anything

But now you were on the prowl for someone new to notice you and keigo's words meant little to nothing to you right now

Tonight you were gonna find someone to show you just a little bit of attention you craved so much and it wasnt going to be keigo

Just then you saw keigo staring at you from the reflection in mirror

he was home unusually eailer

"Dont you have to work?" You asked bitterly

"Where are you going?" He asked ignoring your statement

Sighed and rolling your eyes and picking up your purse you turned to him before leaving the bedroom, "Out. You don't have to wait up for me."

"You're being ridiculous y/n."

He said following you but you ignored him

"Y/n? Y/n?" He kept calling you, "You cant just go out an-"

"And why not?" You turned to him before you left the apartment, "according to you were not even really dating-"

"You know why that is." He told you seriously

You huffed out a fake laugh, "yeah, but its still okay for you to flirt with anyone?"

Keigo didnt respond to that making you chuckle, "Exactly...like I said im going out dont wait up." Then you slammed the door leaving.

You knew you were being unreasonable with him

You knew the two of you needed to just talk and make up

But you kept letting your anger from all your arguments cloud your judgment

Because you just wanted him to feel the same hurt and jealously you had been feeling more then anything

Keigo stared at the door you had just slammed

Things somehow got worse in the following days after your argument on your anniversary

You refused to talk to him

He tried to apologize to you but you basically brushed him off

Keigo wasn't sure what to think you said you hated him, you wouldnt sleep in the bed with him

Yet you hadn't packed up and left so that was good right?

But that distance that was growing between the two of you was wider then before

And he didnt know what to do to fix it

And now you were going out clearly dressed to find someone else

Did you really hate him? Had you really had enough of him?

Hell, he couldnt even blame you if you did he thought

You had put up with so much of him up until now

And maybe some of what you said the other night was true? Had he gotten too comfortable with you always being there?

But that was only because he loved you

Keigo was truly in love with you, and dispite you suspensions he never cheated on you

And he would never do that, you were the only one he wanted even now when you two seemed to be at each others throats

He still wanted you, and he couldn't picture his life without you

So thats why he ended up following you to the bar you were currently at

He made sure you hadnt noticed him staying in the back out of your sight

And he hated what he saw

He saw you having fun

You had met up with some of your girlfriends the three of you all laughing and drinking

You acting like you didnt have a care in the world, like the two of you didnt argue before you left out

Having a good time as if you didnt leave him alone in the house

He watched you dancing as though you were having the time of your life as other mean stared and gawked at you

He watched as a guy singled you out and was clearly flirting with you

And worst you let him and was encouraging him

You kept touching his shoulder laughing at his jokes letting him dance against you

Words couldnt describe the irritation he felt watching

He wanted nothing more then to rip that mans hands off you and fly away with you in his arms

But part of him felt like he deserved this

This feeling he had, was it how you felt?

If so he needed to fix this, was all that he could think

And he was about to go to you, but before he could someone called out his name

"Hey! Hawks is here!"

Fuck he said to himself when a crowd started to form around him

His eyes then connected with yours knowing you heard he was here

And for a moment he thought you were gonna come up to him

But instead you kept talking to the random guy ignoring him

Hawks wanted to go to you and talk to just take you back home

But was having trouble getting away from the crowd

He was all smiles talking to his fans but the whole time he kept his eyes on you

But somehow it became a battle to see who was going to be more stubborn

You continued to dance with the random guy, but now you knew keigo was here watching you

You convinced yourself not to care, you came here to have fun and he wasnt going to ruin it for you

But thats just what he was doing as you watched him talk to some random girl now

He was here to get under you skin, you were sure of it

But two could play this little game

Both of you having this little war with each other watching each other from across the room

And you couldnt lie you were enjoying it a bit

Seeing his eyes watching you, knowing he had to be feeling the sting of jealousy as another man held you close

But It all came to a head when you saw the girl he was dancing with lips on his neck

He wasnt looking at you when you saw that all his attention clearly on her

You couldn't deny the sharp feeling in your chest at the sight

And not wanting to see anymore you left the dance floor telling the guy you needed to go to the bathroom

Hawks pulled away from the handsy fan

Denying anymore of her advances

Yeah he had been trying to get under your skin now but thats was a bit much

But now when he looked up to find you again, only to see you were gone

His stomach sank

Where did you go? You had to had just seen that?

Did you leave with that guy? Hawks started to panic when he didnt seem him either

Where did you go? Why was he being so stupid just now? He should have just went to talk to you

Just then keigo noticed the guy you had been flirting with at the bar and went up to him

"The girl you were dancing with? Where'd she go?"

The guy looked at him like he was crazy "whats it too you?" He challenged him

But keigo wasnt in a playful mood and grabbed the man by the collar, "Answer the question asshole."

The guy quickly put his hands up in defeat, "she just said-

"Hawks?"

He heard his name called out and looked behing him to see you

"What are- you are so unbelievable." Yku shook your head storming off

You couldn't believe him he had the audacity to attack the guy you had been talking to

It didnt take much thought to figure out why

And it annoyed you to no end

So keigo could flirt and let girls kiss all over him but if you had a guy around you that was too much

He was such a hypocrite

You were angry your whole way back home

You stood in the mirror once you got back

But with a different feeling in your stomach then the feeling you had before you left

You felt defeated your plans of fun had been ruined and you felt like your back in the same spot you had been in

Hawks was giving you a little bit of space taking his time getting back home

Because now you were probably madder than before at him

When hr got in he saw you had just got out the shower

"Y/n..."

You heard him call out your name But you ignored him

Y/n, you have to listen to me."

You werent going to turned around but before you knew it he hugged you from behind

"Im sorry."

"Let go of me hawks." You spat out but he didnt budge

"Just listen to me y/n..."

"Why are we doing this to each other?" You asked quietly, "Why do you keep hurting me? What are we even doing? It clearly isnt wor-"

"Ive been an idiot, y/n."

Keigo buried his face in your neck, "I've been so stupid, but please please dont leave me."

You were trying to fight back tears, "I dont want to leave you keigo....but I cant-"

"Dont say you can't with me anymore. I need you." Keigo pleaded holding you tighter

You were so frustrated

You still loved him, you still wanted to be with him, because when things are good between you they're great

But the way your relationship had been it was becoming too much

But you wanted to stay with him

Because you loved him

You moved your hands and held on to his arms secretly enjoying his embrace that you missed so much

"I know you mean well keigo-"

"I love you so much y/n," keigo cut you off again, "I know ive been an asshole, ive been neglectful, ive been the worst, but dont give up on me. Please."

You finally turned around to face him and hugged him back

You could see the sincerity in his eyes as you did "I love you too keigo but I just cant do this- we keep hurting each other...thats not what your supposed to do to the people you love."

Keigo pulled back "You want me to tell everyone about us? I will." He told you, "You want me to tell you everything ive been doing I will, I promise you Ill to whatever it takes to fix us. I dont want to live the way we have anymore."

You knew he was serious and your heart leaped hearing his words but you werent sure

"You're the only one I want y/n" he said giving you a light kiss

Almost like he was asking for permission

"Ill do whatever it takes for you to forgive me."

He said inbetween kisses, "you're so important to me, im sorry i made you think you weren't."

You couldnt lie he was finally saying everything you wanted to hear

And you wanted to believe him

"You promise?" You asked him

"I promise."

[t0shii]

hq boys when you're feeling anxious or stressed

suna rintaro, hinata shoyo, oikawa toru x gn!r

!warnings! mentions of anxiety, reader comparing themselves to others, mentions of food & hunger, driving. this is like all fluff no angst rlly tbh.

SUNA RINTARO.

he could tell something was up but conviced himself he shouldnt pry as he had already asked you twice if you were feeling alright, to which you reasurred him with a "yep" both times, it was suspicious but he thought maybe you just wanted to be left alone. meanwhile you weren't sure why you lied him, you obviously were not doing okay at the moment. currently he was driving you home and your anxiety was going absolutely crazy from the amount of school work that was piling up on you, it's unfair you thought to yourself, looking out the window. not only were you stressed from work but trying to keep up with your friend was hard, to say the least. they were phenomenal students, straight As in their transcript and though your grades were just fine, you couldn't help but feel inferior and insecure. it's unfair how effortlessly smart they are and how i'll never be able to catch up.... oh boy if your thoughts weren't running wild before they definitely were now, you hadn't even realized your boyfriend pulling into your driveway until he slightly tapped your shoulder. "are you sure you're alright? i don't wanna pressure you ofcourse but, you know you can tell me anything right?" ... and there were the water works! the little string holding you together had snapped just like that. you sat there in the passengers seat sobbing into your hands and suna rintaro hadn't a clue what to do in the moment.

"give me just a sec" you heard him mumble but not before he gave you a kiss as light as a feather on the top of your head. somehow you didn't notice him exit the car and rush to your side until he opened your door and hugged you so tight you honestly couldn't breathe. after a few seconds your boyfriend let go of the embrace which, to his dismay, only made you cry even harder. now, he knew he was known for being quite... stoic but he was definitely panicking on the inside and it was really difficult to remain calm on the outside. your boyfriend carefully reached over you to unbuckle the seatbelt that you had yet to unclasp. "lets go inside baby." his voice was so gentle it would've taken you by surprise had you not still been crying. you nodded in response and he helped you carefully out of the car, holding your hand all the way to the door, "d'ya have your key?" you nodded trying your best to unlock the door, after a few struggled and shakey attempts you finally had your door unlocked but not without rins help because he couldn't bare to watch you struggle any longer.

stepping inside rin helped you take your shoes off, removing his own after, "bedroom?" having calmed down a little you whispered "yes," with a small nod. he nodded with you in response and took you to your bedroom. after helping you change into comfy clothes he helped you into bed, crawling in right behind you. your back was snug against his chest and he held you super tightly, it was silent for a few minutes until finally he spoke up, "please tell me how i can help" you could feel your lip quiver. "well... you don't have to say anything right now, you know i can wait. i'll even leave if you want, i just wanted you to know that you can tell me whenever you're ready and that i'll listen." neither of you were sure when you'd be ready to admit what had gotten you so upset but you felt comfortable knowing suna rintaro would be there whenever you were ready, whether it be minutes from now or even months.

HINATA SHOYO.

your silence on the walk home was starting to concern him.. maybe im just talking too much... he thought, "hey... im sorry if im talking your ear off.. how was your day angel?" to say he was disappointed with your response would be an understatement. not thar you HAD to talk but usually you were talkative with him and the worry in his tummy was only growing more. a simple, "oh.. my day was alright sho," simply woundn't cut it! "hey, are you feeling okay?" it was silent for a few seconds before you answered a mumbled "i think so, are you feeling alright, sho?" he simply nodded with a "mhm" and you told him to continue on with his story from earlier.

he complied but only to fill the silence. hinata decided to trust you when you said you were okay because you know your own feelings and he knows for a fact he's made it clear before that you could and should let him know if something was bothering you. though you enjoyed listening to hinata's stories you only found yourself getting lost in your own mind whilst he rambled on.you could tell he was suspicious of your behavior but was grateful he had left his curiosity behind because you were sure you would snap if he had asked you if you were okay again, you really didn't want to cry in front of him. truth is, your thoughts were running wild, stressing over the smallest things; assignments due at the end of the week, what you were gonna get your boyfriend for your anniversary, how you were gonna make time for your friends surprise birthday party and helping sho with his studied all the while trying to take care of your own self and keep your own grades afloat. "y/n..? we're at your house.. are you sure your alright? you look a little pale, are you ill?" crap! how had you not noticed you were approaching your own driveway you wanted to slap yourself for being so clueless. you couldn't help but feel horrible for not listening to your boyfriends story also.

"yes sho i'm fine really, i just didn't have time to eat lunch today but i have food inside so don't worry m'may?" he looked at you suspiciously and you knew he was onto you, "y'know y/n, i'm not gonna force you to tell me what's going on but just know i'll always be here for you, okay?" he gave you a small smile before engulfing you into a tight hug, it honestly melted your heart. surprisingly, you didn't start crying on the spot. "y'know, i wanted to trust you when you said you were okay but now i'm not so sure if you were telling the truth," he mumbled into your shoulder. you sighed, giving up the facade. "sho.... i just don't know what to do honestly, i have alot on my plate right now and i'm really stressed with all the responsibilities ive piled onto myself," you admitted. he nodded lifting his head from your shoulder, giving you the brightest smile, "well, i can always help out! i might not be the mooost helpful person ever but i'll try my best, and if anything i'm good moral support!" you giggled at that but suddenly you felt your lip quiver from the sudden guilt you feeling, "i'm sorry for lying to you sho-", "hey! its alright! you dont need to apologize. especially dont need you crying on me now!" he smiled cupping your face in his hands, wiping away a few stray tears of whom managed to escape.

OIKAWA TORU.

you smile back at him and thought of how silly it was that you tried keeping your feelings a secret from your boyfriend of two years, hinata shoyo, feeling glad that you confided in him. he knew you were upset as soon as he saw you that very morning, he could read you like and open book and you knew that fact very well. still though, you tried your best to hide yourself from him, though it was hard considering you sitting right next to him in the passenger seat of his car. finally after a whole day of being worried sick, he was tired of leaving things left unsaid "babyyyy," he sang for you from the kitchen, "please come here a sec!" he yelled for you louder. soon you came trudging down the hallway, blanket wrapped around your body, he couldn't help but smile at how adorable his s/o looked.

"c'mere quickly," he said will a grin, opening his arms for a hug, which you gladly accept, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly. "now, i know you know that i know that you're not feeling well, so please tell me what's got my angel so upset?" he said softly rubbing his hand lightly over your back, his voice a little muffled from his cheek being squished against the top of your head. you let out a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding, "'m sorry tooru, i don't know what's wrong with me today.... just not feeling well." you felt him nod against your head in response, "well good thing your amazing boyfriend is here to make you feel all better huh?" you let a out small giggle at that. "you know you can tell me when you're feeling down right? you shouldn't keep things bottled up inside", "i know tooru... im sorry, i just dont really know wbat i'm feeling so down about though," you admitted shyly. "hey that's okay! there absolutely no need to apologize for that, here, look at me, angel," he tilts your face so you're looking up at him, his big soft hands holding your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks lightly, "i'm here whenever you figure it out, hell, even if you dont figure it out or there just isn't any reason at all. you know i'm always, always, always here. i promise you that, m'kay?" he finishes his little speech with a smile, smothering your face in kisses. you could only feel relieved, thankful and loved. because you knew that you would always have your soulmate, oikawa toru by your side.

( a/n ; ahh so im sorry if this has any spelling or grammatical errors it's sort of late as i'm writing this! and im too lazy to proof read.... also it might just all be word vomit and if it is im so sorry 😩 ++ i'm positive ive kept the reader gn throughout the whole thing but if there are slip-ups i promise i'll do better next time! i rlly wanted to write some hq boys when ur feeling anxious and beyond stressed because i have been MEGA struggling with my own anxiety lately, especially bc of school so i just needed to let my feelings go! anywhooo i hope everyone who reads this has an amazing day or night! ) p.s. im new to writing so be nice 2 me or whatever 😩🙄😌👍🏻

[tragicyounglover]

Okay so i saw your blog and i was like, you are a life saver! I feel like a burden when talking to others about it. Its mainly because alot of people I know say that he's a little loopy and he can be alot. But I dont like believing what people say until ive seen it for myself. Whats funny is that at first i never really noticed him(i question how because hes really tall and in my class). I knew he was in my class but i never really thought much of him, i knew he was attractive but thats about it. It really all started when in said class i would feel like i was being watched. You know how you feel eyes on you and it feels weird and creepy. YEaH. Anyway, it started with that and i thought i was going crazy when i would catch him just, what looked like, staring muderously at me! I cant see very well and i wouldnt have my contacts till next year(2022) so it started to get creepy really fast. After that i would notice weird things he would do. Like if i started walking towards the classroom door to leave, it was like he just so happened to get up and leave right behind me. Or like, do something like (🙇🏻‍♂️) when staring at me. There was a time where i could blantantly see some of his excitement when i presented with my group for a presentation. He sometimes would even clap for me if I got an answer right, and i would be so confused as to why, and feel like he was making fun of me and insulting my intelligence! Now i know all of this sounds like he likes me. But, im skeptical because of what people say about him, not that hes player, but that he is rude, can be stuck up, and he's basically the stuck up rich kid trope irl. That, and my friends think he has a mental issue despite how ridiculously intellegent he is. I told myself for now to just ignore him and go about my senior year of HS. But, i cant help but like him a little, hes seems sweet despite what people say.

Idk what to do, sorry if this was really long, but i just needed to get that out.

ENTRY #5

Oh my god hi! I’m so sorry I’m replying to this so late and tbh I don’t know if this is still relevant in your life anymore. That said I’m gonna be honest my high school crush (let’s just call him G.) after we got in our first fight and stopped being friends we started feuding with each other. In fact at one point we got into it while in class. We started raising our voices and our TA had to tell us to cut it out in front of the entire class! (Who by the way was/is close to the both of us.). That was very surprising for me considering how bad my anxiety gets in school environments in general. So it was and still is completely uncharacteristic of me to make a public display of any sorts. Especially in that specific setting because of the lot of football players and other people I deemed were “cool” at the time were also in this class. so I was always over analyzing every thing I did in class. Why is this relevant? Because I know what it feels like to question whether or not they hate you or like you. In fact because of these little tiffs my friends opinions soured on him even more. (understandingly so) so I couldn’t talk to them about how I was feeling. it made me so upset that I still liked him even though he was toxic to me at that point. But i was mostly just confused. About how to feel about him. How I should be feeling vs what I actually was feeling. How I saw him vs how others saw him. I felt weak because most people would have been strong enough to walk away. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t talk to my friends about it. Embarrassment.

That being said I always try to listen to my gut instead of my anxiety. what does this mean? For example say your gut feeling is saying he’s a good guy despite everyone else saying he’s not that part would be the anxiety. It would also work if you switched the two scenarios. My advice to you is try to sort out what you’re feeling, by trusting yourself and your ability to analyzing people. Make sure that even if you trust your feelings don’t abandon your knowledge/commonsense. Trust your feelings. Be smart.

As for he’s the mental health “issue“ , just because he may or may not have a mental health problem doesn’t make him a bad guy or weird so I don’t really see why it should matter if he does. But I can totaly understand being hesitint or uncomfortable with the idea. Especially given the common misconceptions surrounding mental health in society. But!... if this is the case it’s probably in everyone’s best interest to let this fizzle out.

But as for the staring and other flirtatious actions I’m gonna make a bet and say just based off those actions alone that he likes you. Body language says a lot because most of the time. (Especially males.) we’re usaully unaware of our actual body language towards someone else because it’s just an unconscious reaction of being near the other person. Which is probably why most of us tend to do stupid and embarrassing things in the presence of someone who we have a crush on or people we’re trying to impress.

Anyways!... I hope my mindless rambleing made sense to you and hopefully somewhat helped you. Even in the smallest way love! And if it didn’t I apologize for wasting the past 2 minutes of your life. Lol. Anyways hang in there we’re all rooting for you love! Please don’t hesatate to keep me updated.❤️🥰

Please send in more asks I’m always here if you need to talk!