#ive been procrastinating so much but im so close to done

[rockaroadrolla]

5 ungor raiders down (finally)

Time for a reward...

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me: I should probably clean my room, unpack, find my laptop and finish the work tasks that were due yesterday

Also me: I think I'm going to hot glue flowers, vines, and ribbons to a basket instead :)

[some-random-fandom-chick]

.

[arredusworld]

Loongs speculative biology is breaking me a little bit

im adding Loongs (Chinese dragons) to Arredus right, cuz they look cool, are cool, and i refuse to be euro-centric in my fantasy worlds

problem, the way i want to go about it is ruining my life (hyperbole), see part of Arredus is to have implied speculative evolution to back up the speculative biology, and Loongs are making that really hard

lets examine this depiction, scales are seen along side whiskers on the snout, spikes along the back, (presumed) feather coverage on the tale and face, and ears

this creates some issues, see the scales assert that this is a reptile of some kind, the (presumed) feathers make it likely that this is a dinosaur, but thats a guarantee, maybe lizards on Arredus have feathers, maybe its in the class of true dragons, or maybe those arnt feathers at all, and are instead real weird scales, tho considering all the more detailed art ive seen depicts it as fluffy-

-like this, <sidenote, there is so much ai slop of eastern mysticism out there> and while i acknowledge this is a modern piece of art, it appears to be representative of wat ppl think Loongs look like

<another sidenote, some art depicts the dragon with horns but this is inconsistently done so whether its s thing is up in the air>

one more thing b4 i begin speculating is that this project has no respect for modern preconceptions of the fantasy u know and love, only science and even thats a vague impression, so if that means making pegasus a dragon that convergently evolved to look like equines with wings, so be it

with that said lets get into my ideas for how to get this thing to exist at all, firstly lets talk environmental pressures, Loongs are suppose to be water gods of some sort and closely tied to alligators, turtles, and fish, so it is semi-aquatic, and being from china in our world, its likely accustomed more specifically to lush jungle environments

next lets talk niche, every animal in an ecosystem has a niche, wats this guys, well clearly its an apex predator, i dont think this needs much elaboration

next is its behaviors, and again i think its fairly intuitive to say Loongs are ambush predators, like cats and alligators, also most likely making it a solitary animal

finally for the hard part ive been procrastinating on all post, wat friggin animal is this at all, the first thots are obviously a reptile of some kind, if the non scaly bits are feathers, than its a dinosaur, most likely a dragon, however his native land is in Lushia, a continent with very little reptiles at all

another option is to make the Loong a mammal of some kind, maybe a monotreme, which would make it fairly distinct and also give me more freedom to be creative, or a feline, very similar in lifestyle of a jaguar (reminder that these nightmare animals are not only good but happy swimmers)

the issue i run into repeatedly is that no answer makes me happy, while a feline is my fave of the choices, it raises more questions for me, why is its snout so long, is the "scales" just fur pattern? or did this feline specifically evolve armadillo fur, if so why, if its a monotreme, wat does that mean at all, its a neat idea and allows it to lay eggs still but is that all that important? do all monotremes have beaks? does the Loong? is it bioluminescent like platypuses? if its a reptile, why is it one of the few on this continent? it didnt fly over like the dragons did, unless this is a dragon who lost its wings, if so why? why not evolve fin like wings to help swim like sea serpents? if its not a dragon, wat reptile is it? it has to be a dinosaur of some kind thats where feathers are from, but its clearly not any other dino other than a dragon, which circles us bacc around, and wat about them ears, are they false ears like the horns on a horned owl? if so why did it evolve that other than to look cool? does it even look that cool?

in short the Loong is making me tear loong strainds of hair out of my head, so here poll, decide ur thots and please tell me more in the replys/notes/watever else you wanna use to communicate with me

[fictionfixations]

playing this game for the first time

IM GOING TO THROW IT CRASHED ON ME WHILE I WAS MAKING A PROFILE i KNEW I SHOULDVE SAVED 😭(I STARED AT THE SAVE BUTTON LIKE 'should i save just in case? nahh i dont need to save until im done' and then it kicked me out)

i dont think of myself as a person good at designing stuff

but i was really liking what i made it looked so pretty hjfiouweshjdWQIUAsk

it doesnt even mean that much to me im just gonna feel really depressed for awhile cause like wtf man 😭

this is the farthest i got last time i kind of hate it. the quality of stuff i do always degrades the more i repeat it so hhhhhhhhhhh it feels really nitpicky but something about the images behind the classroom just dont look right

it keeps saying connection error when trying to save

im pointing a fan directly at it cause my phone is a fucking heater hoping it fixes 😭

im gonna close and reopen the game this sucks (not the game im just getting tired of all the live2d games i play being laggy as fuck or having connection issues, its not just this game that hates me 💀) idk if the twitter button works i havent pressed it cause i tend to lag so much more the moment i click out of a game and then re-enter without closing it and re-opening

tbh i dont know anything about this. i think theres a good story (kinda depressing(???)) but i havent heard much about it

one of the first things i saw about this game tbh was the customizing a profile and i got my mind blown cause it looked so pretty i kept getting pjsk in my recommended and idk something about tatsu...???? forgor rest of name. blonde guy. where apparently in the movie he switched to a pirate outfit???? im. so confused

i feel like im being sabotaged cause im trying to play a song and then it lags and i miss and im dfaiuhdwushdajw

WHY do you do this to me 😭

i need a fan because when it overheats its literally unplayable (its not even that its hot its that it starts lagging like hell) so im just having cold air blasted into my eyes which is kinda distracting :'D

its fun though i like like the interface?? its really smooth its a little confusing with note placement but im. getting used to it

im sad i have to actually play with a fan because i really like rhythm games i wanna get into it but it keeps lagging

why do all the good games (that i wanna play) have to be on mobile and prone to crashing/lagging 😭

tbh im getting into it now that im used to it crashing its like. tears of themis. which also crashes often and lags me. which sucks cause i really enjoy the story. but then id be going through this important bit and almost finish it and then it crashes and then keeps crashing while im speeding through it trying to complete it 💀 (cough cough the trial bits suck because i keep having to re-present evidence and im just like do i look like i remember what the answer is LET ME THROUGH)

its kinda because of that that i cant play it in super long bursts though so im just gonna be here procrastinating from it for months because i dont feel like continuing to crash trying to do shit. play again. crash. stop playing.

sigh. sometimes i hate that i get more invested in stories in games by actually playing the game. because sometimes my devices dont want me to play and makes me lag like hell sadge

anyway my favorites rn are nightcord at 25:00(?) w/ the miku from that ver theres another like band rhythm game i play except the 3d models make me lag so much more. this game is much more manageable. ..like osmetimes it lags so much i literally lose all my life but like. at least i can play ?????

anyway uh ill try to play more. like. i play a lot of games but ive been neglecting the story so ive been trying to speed through them (while actually reading but like bingeing through as much story as i can before it stops me or i give up)

okay i think i can play songs now without lagging except teh moment i think about how its not lagging it starts lagging 💀 (another time is when i started singing along it started lagging. i just have bad timing man.)

i can.. kind of play expert songs. (except when i cant) except its.really overwhelming and i stop being able to read the map to where i just default to see note = tap so its ilke im kinda spamming in a sense??? and praying it works out also my brain sometimes stutters so i fuck up. this prob isnt like anything revolutionary but with flick notes if therse one flick note and at the same time a note thats not a flick note and i get confused i just act as if both are flick notes cause its not like you get penalized for flicking a non-flick note

the 3d music videos are cute

i only got a new outfit for.. person me no remember name of purple haired girl

i think you can set it to have characters who are actually singing the song but i like staring at the characters i have cause i put my favorites on the team + like my only 4 star rn?? also like kaito is there i think (im bad at names but hes one of the vocaloids is he not) because i wanted to go with like the dark sorta empty vibe

but so its so weird when a model is singing but its so clearly not the right voice lmfao

i feel like itd be fun to learn the choreography especially for like cosplay stuff??

id like the music videos more if i could play the songs while watching them without lagging really badly 😭

NOO PLEASEE DONT LAG DURING THE VIRTUAL SHOW 🙏

i crashed 😭

song: plays few notes immediately crashes

hhh i know the song but i cant remember the name

tfw your glowsticks feel like a windscreen wiper

also i just realized your view moves if you move your phone. thats cool but i cant do that because my battery drains stupidly fast if its not being charged all the time i am not joking

i dont really have an attachment to these characters yet so i cant understand how it might feel to someone really invested but this is cool 👍

oh it ended

i missed the first song unfortunately :(

i think theres another one happening in like. ..30 minutes? an hour?? shrug. idk if its the same one or something else

i know this post kinda makes it seem like im having a bad time but im having a fun time its just that when something bad happens i have more to say

anyway i like this a lot more than the other band rhythm game i play. like i mean i had a lot over there and there are some songs i really like that arent on here but i.. also wasnt reading the story for that game either i was literally just playing it because rhythm game thats it 😭 i only went through the story to skip through it cause it gave me like the stuff to pull for the gacha so um

im gonna try to pay attention this time 👍👍👍

also auto is a blessing i will never not praise auto in a game (except when it plays bad but tbh if it works then it doesnt matter. not a shade towards this game but towards hsr cause sometimes it ults on a single enemy with low health that could be killed with just basic atk. and then next wave and that ult wouldve been so useful 😭)

off topic but idk why but 3d music videos dont lag when its playing the song on auto. except when i take a screenshot wtf

or maybe its just that it lags when the phone starts heating up. which tracks. wish i could play this on pc. wonder how itd work if it did cause buttons you press are what??? (honestly i can only play 4 note songs on pc anything else my mind blanks) but it still wouldve been cool and deffo less laggy

[slightlyunconventional]

my. h/awks snzcanons under the cut okay ! these have been brewing in my phone notes for a little while and ive been steadily adding to it sooo yeah :) this is to tide you over while i procrastinate finishing my fic. expect part two probably (d/abi coming soon)

also!!! pls pls pls share your own d/abih/awks snzcanons with me <3 im collecting them

- hawks’ wings reflexively like. splay out when he snzs but hes sooo embarrassed by that so to counter it he closes his wings around himself (when he actually feels it coming. surprise snz is a whole other story) which is!! so cute!!

- mentioned in a post before butttt when hes at home hawks paces around the room fanning his face just. desperately when he needs to snz (like why does it always take so long to come out) he just cant keep still

- hawks’ colds are always sooooohohoooo sneezy like he just cant catch a break from it. he’ll snz like five times back to back without a pause and as soon as he thinks hes done he’s gearing up AGAIN

- not allergic to much but hawks’ hayfever is absolutely awful. all through spring and half of summer he’s unbearably itchy and with a tingle in his nose that never seems to leave, no matter how many times he sneezes

- hawks is super sensitive to physical touch though- like physically tickling his nose with a finger or a FEATHER. or something

- stifler by habit, and he can do it hands-free (HASHTAG CANON!!!). however during a fit, he can easily start off stifling but very fast do the sneezes become entirely too difficult to contain

- his number one tell for when hes sick is that he talks so much less. becomes so subdued and reserved which is a crazy contrast to how much he usually just waffles

- this one is probably overly. indulgent. but i like to think his nose is very pliable okay. AM I GETTING TOO HORNY HERE…… anyway yeah it probably squishes a lot when he rubs at it. im so normal

- nose scruncher!! at any given moment right. particularly strong smell? nose scrunched. trying not to sneeze? nose scrunched. trying TO sneeze?? nose. scrunched. hes a nose scruncher

- sometimes he deliberately flexes his muscles like. crosses his arms over in front of his face when he sneezes and deliberately flexes because he knows it annoys dabi (bro editing this post rn LMAOO this one is so funny)

- never has cold or allergy medication in his apartment he just firms it until dabi either forces him to buy some or buys it for him. maybe he has a really bad hayfever day at one point and dabi is like have you tried taking medication for that you havent stopped sneezing all day and hawks is like theres MEDICATION for this?????

yeah okay thats all. i thought i had more than this but apparently not ! hope you enjoyed and i hope theyre coherent

[cvupidwrites]

Emalee we need a fic like your recent innie one (I loved it btw 10/10) but y/n taking care of Hyunjin I’m begging it’d be so cute. Maybe when he has the stomach flu too and doesn’t wanna bother y/n cus she’s busy but she catches on and helps him?? 💓💓

omg yes this is such a cute idea 🥹! also thank you for the positive feedback, it means so much to me! if you have any more fic requests fill free to send them to me!

let me know..

sick!hyunjin x reader, implied relationship, pet names like baby, my boy, darling, lovely, MENTION OF VOMITING, CRYING, DEHYDRATION, & BULLYING/HATE

i placed my bag on the back of hyunjins chair and booted up my computer at the desk in his room. waiting for hyunjin would definitely take a while, so i decided to start a university essay iv been procrastinating on. as i sighed and started typing up a draft to base it off, hyunjin walked into the room.. 2 hours earlier than usual.

“well you’re quite early today.” i said softly as i stood up from my seat. “yeah- minho said we did good today so.. we uh, got done early, are you doing a essay?” he looked over my head at my open computer and empty doc. “i was going to start it while i waited for you but since you’re home early..it can wait another day.” he shook his head at me and looked at the bathroom, avoiding the eye contact i tried to make with him. i noticed his body tense up a little and he looked at me for about .1 of a second.

“im going to go shower, go work on your essay, okay? don’t wanna get behind do you, darling?” i shook my head as he turned to me again and gave me a smile. as he walked into the bathroom, i couldn’t help but notice him clutch his stomach just a tiny bit. i guessed that he might’ve been sore from dance practice so i shrugged it off. i sat back down at the chair and pulled my legs up to my chest as i stared at the wall, trying to think of how to start it. i heard the shower head squeak on and water started to poor.

i couldnt think, the only one thing that filled my head was the way hyunjin acted. was he getting hate from social media again? or maybe he was just tired. i turned my focus to the empty doc and watched the small line blink, then fade away. laying on my head on the keyboard out of defeat of my writers block, the keys pressed under the pressure and the letters and symbols appeared on the screen. I turned my head to the side to see a framed photo of me and hyunjin backstage during their maniac tour. He was holding his phone out as he kissed his cheek, eyes closed gently, as i winked, held his cheeks and looked at the camera.

a smile appeared at the sight of the familiar picture. i picked it up to look at it closer, han and minho were making faces at us in the background. then a lightbulb went off in my head. i knew what i was going to write about! i placed the picture back in its place and backspaced all the letters and symbols that had been accidentally pressed into the doc.

i started typing and typed faster than i thought i could. i was so emerged into the essay, i didn’t even notice Hyunjin walk out of the bathroom, change into sweats and a white tee, and crawl into bed. well, that was until about 2 to 3 hours later, my computer was 10% to dying. i sighed and saves the doc before closing the computer and plugging it in. i turned to see hyunjins sleeping figure, his legs bent at his knees and his hands rested under his cheek.

i was slightly confused but he looked so peaceful. he never fell asleep before me, he always made sure i went to sleep before him. i came to a conclusion that today was just hard for him, and he was really tired. I changed into some shorts and a baggy tee i stole from his a few days ago. it was one of his shirts that had been smothered in paint. i thought it looked beautiful, even it was just some splattered colored on a basic light grey tee. it was so beautiful to me, because of the fact that it was made by my boy, my hyunjin.

i slipped into the bed next to him, throwing my arms around his middle. he shivered in his sleep despite feeling hotter than usual. i looked at his face as it scrunched up in slight discomfort. i brought my hand up to his face to brush some hair out of his face, brushing his cheek and forehead in the process. both felt unusually hot. i frowned, thinking possibly hes sick.. but he would’ve told me? he always does. i sighed closing my eyes to fall asleep with him, id make sure to take care of him in the morning.

i woke up to feel hyunjin getting out of bed beside me. “jinnie?” i mumbled, seeing his figure turn in the dark. “im just going to the bathroom..” i sighed and pick up my phone from the bedside table. it was 2:42 am. “just go back to sleep, okay lovely? I’ll be back in a few minutes..” i sighed and laid back in the bed. as he went into the bathroom, i heard him cough a few times and then i thought i heard him.. vomit? “jinnie?”

i opened the door to see him sitting on the floor, hunched over the toilet. i didn’t say another word, i just walked up behind him and held his slightly long, black hair away from his face. the lingering feeling of his skin felt like fire against my fingertips. as i held his hair with one hand, i held his hand gently with the others. “im sorry” he coughed out. he got finished throwing up and laid his head against my chest. i felt a droplet fall onto my leg. i held his head in my hands to look him in the eyes

“why are you crying baby?” i asked as i brushed a tear off his cheek with my thumb. “im sorry i didnt tell you.. im sorry you have to take care of me. i-i know you have an essay to do and- i-“ i kissed his forehead and held him close to my chest again. “don’t apologize.. the essay can wait, ill take care of everythin. of you, my university work, everything.. but you’re my first priority, okay?” i hugged his shoulders as he nodded and sniffed softly. “why didn’t you tell me you were sick my boy?” “you looked so concentrated on your essay.. i didn’t want to make you loose your train of thought.”

i laughed softly. “you we’re my train of thought, i was writing an essay about the cons of being in love with someone.” “you wrote about me?” he whispered as he met his eyes with mine. “yes.. and id do it a thousand times more, i love you hyunjin.. let me take care of you?” “okay..i love you too yn.” i kissed the crown of his head a few times before laughing. “let’s get you into bed, yeah? ill get you some medicine and water.. i know your dehydrated.”

we stood up together and i brought him to bed, tucked him in and set up a desk fan on his night stand. “have i ever told you have good you are to me?” he laughed and held my hand. “all the time..” i respond with a smile. “ill get you some medicine and water, then we can go back to sleep, okay?” “what about your classes tomorrow?” he frowned. “don’t worry, ill work online. ill even work in bed with you if you want.” i brushed his hair back into a ponytail. “and ill talk to minho and chan tomorrow, you won’t have to worry, okay?” “thank you lovely..” “of course.”

i left the room and grabbed him a ice cold water and some medicine. when I came back he smiled at me, taking the medicine, and downing most of the water. “will you stay with me all night?” he asked as he pulled me into bed with him. “however long you want.” he smiled again and held me in his arms. “goodnight, my lovely girl.” “goodnight, my hyunjinnie.”

[vexxandra]

mini pac : small things for this week

ive been having a hard past few weeks, and sometimes its best to focus on the small things. in this pac, well be looking at some things to focus on this week to hopefully make your day a little better :)

pile uno: justice rx, ten of swords, two of swords, mistletoe

the cards came out very satisfyingly and very clean so i assume that what you need to focus on is imminent also to you, or at the very least, its very clear. pile one, you have to learn to let go, and stop looking at things so over analytically and logically. theres so much air here, paired with the mistletoe card leads me to believe that you guys are pessimists, or realists who in reality like to view the world through dark tinted lens. you guys like to look for and find the worst possible way things could go wrong and fixate on those possibilities. it may be difficult pile one, but try to let loose. if you have long hair, a suggestion id make to you is to let it down, or stop tying it so tightly. also opt for clothes that are a little less formal, and a little more comfortable! of course, these are just suggestions, and you are by no means obliged to follow them !

little afternote: omg! i just realized that this mistletoe card (seed and sickle oracle deck) has two swords on it as well! so pile one, this is a super, super prominent sign that you should try to let loose this week! a little at a time goes a long way.

pile dos: the magician, four of swords, two of wands rx, wisteria

the cards came out... interestingly. definitely, lool. anyways, i feel the sense that you at the same time a workaholic but also someone who likes procrastinating. cause with the magician and the four of swords i immediately got the vibe that you have some very priority projects that are taking up a lot of your time, but in the meanwhile, some very important things are being left in the dark. im seeing your relationships with people, but it could also be basic things that are not getting done, such as painting a room, or cutting your hair, or even getting enough sleep. this week, pile two, please take some time for yourself. put that important project on hold, and focus on the small things. im seeing going for a walk, or maybe watching a comfort movie. just something thatll ease your mind, and give you a break. for some of you, get some sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!

pile tres: page of swords, seven of pentacles, the sun rx, rowan

a heavy emphasis is coming up about relationships, but mostly family and close friends. i also see you being urged to create new relationships with people that interest you, or maybe rekindle old flames with people whom you once knew. whatever the case, this week, take time for the people you love. whether they be family, or friends that just as good as, spend quality time with people that are most dear to you. strengthen your bonds, and a weight will be lighted from you.

[expfcultragreen]

🤔 scouting places for one of my weddings, my gf said she'd do the watermelon/bat one with me and im already getting ahead of myself since we havent even started paying for the first one

Oh but it turns out i have an agent again actually, i just didnt get their email about signing up to some central booking site with them listed as my agent........im two for two now with applying to agents coast to coast, which is good because I cant handle setbacks even slightly (i procrastinate starting things/making progress because i know if i dont luck out immediately and fully complete a task to my own satisfaction very quickly, I'll virtually abandon the task; setting manageable targets and doing things in chunks sort of works......feels like jumping hurdles when id rather just pole vault....if i have to be patient how about i patiently just not do it, right....the amount of motivation i lose by not doing something all at once, even if its writing a novel or building a house, is close to insurmountable on a moment-to-moment basis......so much has to go right snd get done to start with/via the intial effort that it enters sunk cost territory where im like, i cant squander my own prior toilings)

Like: i applied to one (1) place and got discouraged by not getting a call and not seeing an email, and didnt apply anywhere else for two months. Come to find out, they actually did email immediately

One thing ive learned from other wizards, simon the wizard mostly, is to just like, hold out for The Vibe, dont even try when its not hitting.........of course, MY advice for anyone suffering from difficulty with that, is that the proper medication for anxiety during the vibeless times, is weed

I couldve been running around making panic moves, eesh....i dunno, i applied because there was a sign up at the liquor store i go to. If i dont get that maybe I'll try the thrifts with more seriousness......really wanna be a sorter

You and i may not like it but this is normal so if you want to organize labor........maybe optimize laborer living conditions

[ne0nlightzz]

CW: oddly aggressive self-directed criticism cuz im a dumbass with temper issues and lack of responsibility regarding my writing? also just a ranty rant cuz im kinda stressed out over random shitz- idk if this needs cw but here we go- also does this count as a progress update? again i dunno-

so i should be writing or at least working on requests- but after writing a whole chapter 5 of DFTS [the creepypasta x ftm!reader ive been writing] to the point that only touch ups, editing and double checking for major grammar/spelling errors was needed but then deciding i didn't like how it was written and felt it was a bit to cliché i went and deleted nearly the whole chapter [when it wasn't exactly that bad nor did it mess with/alter the plot that much and was fine since its just a filler chapter anyway] and decided to basically start from scratch.

normally this isn't that big of a deal, ive done it plenty of times with this story because not only do i want others to like it and enjoy the story, i also want to personally like it and enjoy writing the story, so again not really that big of a deal right? yeah that would be if i didn't procrastinate and put it off for like FOUR+ FREAKIN MONTHS- ive been working on that part little by little for like over four months because i went through a writer's block n health issues and family issues and setbacks cuz my life is just a total shitshow but i just deleted four+ months of on and off work cuz i didn't like it- AND IM SUPPOSED TO POST MONTHLY- and ykw i don't have time for a dumb lil personal dislike of a mostly decent FILLER CHAPTER- [not even a super important chapter!!] cuz i have school shit to do and requests to write and a deadline for the next part of another story ive been writing [that i have to get written, edited and posted before october cuz once its october it'll be a year since i update and whenever i update a year later i always lose hope for the story-].

i lost where i was going with this rant but im highly considering closing requests until i can get what is in my inbox written and posted along with at least one of my other works updated- i dunno i might just go try to figure out how to scene kid/emo-fy my furby and see if thats less stressful- [i say as i got mad paint a shelf last week- even simple projects are driving me insane and aren't going well- n imma stop ranting now cuz omfg why did i type so much- ALSO REQS ARENT ACTUALLY CLOSED- IF I CLOSE REQS I WILL MAKE THAT ITS OWN POST-]

[btw nothing negative or anything towards anyone whos sent reqs, i love getting them n they make me happy and usually help motivate me! im just stressed with myself for procrastinating so much with writing and pushing it all off for so long and also for not trying to push through that writers block sooner- also just with school cuz i skipped out over the summer which was supposed to be used as time for me to catch up and also just stressed and angry as my shitshow of a life for never calming down or giving me or my family a break, like i haven't solidly worked on a hobby and enjoyed it in a while- mk imma stop the dumb rant again cuz i need to stop and go calm the hell down and take my focus off of writing n all for a lil bit-]

[lostacelonnie]

Definitely understandable i easily lose the energy to talk with people when i have to interact with family. So you're good. Ah yes the dont worry about it approach my favorite. Especially when what you do in regards to you is your business. Well between last message & now i forgot so thats a good indicator of how thats goin. Beaches over here are hit & miss but the closer ones to me arent as popular thankfully. Hm. What is a2 knowledge & how is it getting worse? I adore colder climates heat is not kind to me at all. Tents are. Well. Some are decently priced depending on how big of one you get. Oh i definitely recommend going with friends its a lot of fun. Ive been slacking a bit on the game but so far clara is workin for me. Probably wont have enough for kafka. Oooh good luck to you with all your pulls. Story spoilers aren't a major thing for me because the how is always still fun. Definitely understand some just dont want em at all. Every time i try minecraft im like. Never sure what i want to do. So kudos to you for stickin with the game & having fun. Smaller cities are nice love having close stuff without being in like. A big city. Ah dang i hope you find that dye again in the future. Makeup is hard it should be easier for those who wanna wear it. Ive been so busy i missed. So many events whoops. Problem of bein stuck level gaining to continue story. Motivation is hard to come by. I busy myself reading or looking up new science discoveries when i dont wanna leave my room.

thankies ahdhfjfj!!! and, once again, apologies for the late reply. my grandma fortunately left a while ago but i was feeling Cranky and didnt wanna sound Annoyed With Existing ahdjfh. still kinda dying inside since i return to school in 2 weeks but fuck it we ball we stay silly etc. COMING BACK. yeah like "nobodys gonna know-" "theyre gonna know." "how would they know". and understandable sjdkfgjk consider this your reminder then. and ahh fair i live pretty far away from the sea so i dont really know good Spots i guess. BUT i do like lake beaches since theyre way more quiet most of the time. and basically im not exactly sure in how many countries it applies, im thinking most of europe? but essentially language knowledge here is divided by levels, a1 -> a2 -> b1 -> b2 -> c1 -> c2 with c2 being the highest. and well i guess theres also a0 but thats just when you start. a2 is just speaking Basic English, so like enough to survive if you go to an english speaking country but not much more. for reference, by tests ive done, my level is like between b2 and c1 so very decent but i dont know most of the "fancier" and more specific words. and with it "getting worse" i mean that [at least from what our teacher told us] the textbooks are getting easier and easier so people are leaving school not actually knowing almost anything. yeah SAME its been so hot here recently so ive been Suffering. and yeah i know but me and my mother dont really know if its a good idea to buy one since we dont really go camping anyway. but maybe when im an adult im gonna get more into it, esp if i have ppl to do it with. and ah thats nice to hear!!! i DID manage to get kafka and her lightcone so ive been having fun with her recently. actually overpowered. tho i heard shes quite f2p friendly. and oh understandable!! i unfortunately used to be on tiktok where they spoil EVERYTHING and its impossible to avoid so ever since then ive been extra careful. tho i kinda feel that way ab fontaine rn [cos i ended up actually being kinda interested] since i cant download it rn but still am excited 4 the story despite knowing little unconnected bits. and fair, minecraft def isnt for everyone but its very good for chilling out at least to me. rn im procrastinating on beating the ender dragon so im just maxxing out my gear rn. and yeah but im still gonna see whether or not i wanna live a long way from my family. oh well i still have time. also thanks!!! i have not been successful yet but i bought another dye so im gonna keep you updated on that. and ahhhh understandable, ive been Grinding so i didnt have that problem sjfkg i should build my sampo but. ah. i hate grinding artifacts. pretty excited for the 1.3 simulated universe update tho!!! esp since im really curious about the aeons so seeing more of the propagation is sth im looking forward to. but good luck!!! and VERY real i like doing wikipedia deep dives esp about marine animals. im a fishpilled oceancel but i unfortunately suffer from Not Remembering Anything Ive Read Ever.

[ess-presso]

hi ess! <3 im back🕺

ur so right the universe ships wolfstar. i also saw regulus when stargazing but he was too far away from sirius to be in the picture💔 one day reg, one day.

ALSO happy late lily evans day <3 cant believe i missed her bday. rip lily u wouldve loved taylor swift❤️

tay time! mr perfectly fine, message in a bottle, & last kiss <3

chat time!

i dont think i could force myself to sit through dwd, ive learned enough abt it via osmosis and thats enough for me tbh.

THEY SERIOUSLY DO TAKE PICS OF TREES AND CLOUDS!! it baffles me. like sure maybe the clouds looked particularly nice and i understand that canada has some big ass trees but be fr. also i swear someone was taking a pic of a fucking pigeon once.

ur so right id also lose my mind over a red sock in my laundry. i think thatd be the final straw for me.

i think i have to agree ben barnes' smile in podg is very sirius. dorian gray IS sirius in the same way paul from dune is reg. no joke i almost called paul regulus to my dad the other day. not my finest moment❤️

godspeed on ur exam, u got this💪 drunk procrastinators never lose.

I DID SEE THAT VIDEO OF THE PERSON BITING THE TERRYS ORANGE!! i swear ive never been so mad before. also toblerone def is an essential drunk snack for sure.

that moment sounds so sweet, and it was raining too????? thats literally perfect. no matter how hard i could try i know liv would never dance to jazz w me. definitely considering revoking her best friend status right about now. but its fine because i know shed dance w me to taylor and 1d so that makes up for it <3

geoguessr can be so hard sometimes especially when its in america. like i swear unless its a city with signs i can never get it. like how am i supposed to know that this big ass field was kentucky and not fucking iowa.

L best friends for the win!!!!!! but ur right they lucked out too cause we're incredibly cool so good for them<3

maybe one day my negative rizz will pay off but ur right. until then i'll kick back with my wine & books & fanfics cause thats all i need in life. & damn cursing victoria to fail her exams, u know what thats so valid she deserves it.

likeafunerall's art is SO GOOD. so good. im obsessed with her character designs theyre just so perfect. and omg yes u should totally put them up on ur wall itll look so good. AND YES I SAW THE SOLDIER POET KING ART!!! its so good i cant. likeafunerall never misses.

I SAW THAT APPLETV AD YESTERDAY! i was freaking out like i swear appletv is doing this on purpose.

work song is simply so good. id KILL to see hozier live and for him to perform that song.

if i talk to caesar ill let u know. he was stabbed ~23 times so id say thats on par with a jesus style betrayal (esp since brutus was his close friend) rip julius i do hope u got a lil kiss before they maimed u<3

is alex turner psychic??? thats so funny.

omg not the famous 1975 concert featuring taylor swift.....id be utterly heartbroken. and right?? harry canada exists too u know..... i had tickets to love on tour before covid but then it was cancelled and then he fully REMOVED THE SHOW when he started touring again and now the closest one is in america. sorry harry but i dont love u enough to go to america.

dressing in red and gold is so gryffindor of u. i wear a lot of green so that tracks ig.

dw cruel summer will forever be my fav scream-at-the-top-of-ur-lungs song. its just perfect. dbm simply isnt that kind of song.

omg only ch2 of cr.... i am praying for u . but dont worry its SO good. like yes its heartbreaking but so worth it. i honestly miss the earlier chapters everything was so simple </3

rome is definitely the city of piss and gladiators. i guess not much has changed since antiquity !!

when people are blocking the hall and im just done with them i usually take it upon myself to barrel through them or give them dirty looks (sorry people but i have places to be MOVEW PLEASE)

two middle names is so cool u have options. u can change it up whenever u want u know.

UNCLE MOONY :((((((((

winter <3 and yes i hate when people call it fall. like autumn is such a pretty word. fall is literally so lame . so many people call it fall here and i hate it. its autumn!!!!!!! >:(

good luck on ur chem exam !! telepathically sending all my academic energy to u rn. dont forget to channel the patron saint of academic achievement, remus lupin. AND FUCK PHYSICS!!!!!

coins are so cool. i have one from Iran from 1950 that i got in my change from kfc and its so cool. and a paddington coin??? omg thats so cute.

unicorns and phoenixes are so cool fr. & u know who to call if u ever get bit by a basilisk!

bookstore dates are ideal fr. but only if the other person likes books (but also red flag if they dont......i am not wasting my time on someone who doesnt like books)

stealing money from the bank in monopoly is so real. i used to bribe the banker whenever i got desperate and it never ended well. and yes learn chess!! its so fun and it makes u feel smart.

yes van gogh recreations! she is so cool tbh. now if only i inherited even an ounce of her artistic ability and maybe id be satisfied. and cafe terrace at night is just so pretty. so peaceful and serene. i can imagine quiet jazz playing in the street while u look up at the stars. its so pretty.

OH NOOO sorry abt ur bio exam☹️ (<-girl what the hell is that i justwanted to use an emoji.....anyways) hope ur chem exam goes better!! & bakery + taylor is very good combo. proven to cure all ails.

and omg ur so right. picking out books for each other and then annotating them??? that is SO CUTE!!!!! SO CUTE! u get me.

hozier is completely in my bones too he lives there. i wanna get a hozier tattoo someday too he consumes me fr.

i love being a sports anti!! (badminton ur on thin fucking ice. )

yes proud italian over here🇮🇹💪 i love pasta sm. and omg portuguese?? thats so cool. ive always wanted to visit portugal. ive never actually had portuguese food & i really wanna try it now.

reg is SUCH a black cat. & james absolutely sings horribly in the shower and everyone is so tired of him. sirius prob does too but remus secretly loves it <3 jily night owl-early bird has my heart fr. also the james never getting hungover hc is so funny like Yes. he would get blackout drunk and then wake up at the asscrack of dawn the next day for quidditch practice, thank u.

dorlene forever. sorry peter but those women are gay. and idk how to feel abt reg/remus. ig if its written well its not bad but it feels almost wrong. at least their ship name (moonwater i think) is kinda cute.

i agree the patronuses are quite slytherin but def also ravenclaw (i have gotten ravenclaw multiple times when i take the test so ig thats my secondary house)

luna <3 shes just so cool and i love her funky sense of style.

yes dairy queen is ice cream! but also burgers and stuff too. but theyre known for their ice cream which is so good. if u ever visit north america i recommend.

omg barrs cream soda!!!! ive had that before from a lil british food shop i found & it was so good. better than canadian cream soda for sure.

q review:

this is me trying is so real. burnt out gifted kid syndrome hits like a truck.

omg a black swan that is so cool!! mysterious and shit fr.

my tears ricochet is such a good choice (& cruel summer) it hits every damn time.

ooo shapeshifting very good choice. just think of all the places u could get into by shapeshifting, celeb a-list parties?? the oscars?? buckingham palace?? ur set for life.

messy is so valid & i hate losing socks so mcuh like actually where the fuck did they go.

omg SMARTIES!!!!! i love smarties so much. they dont have them in america and i pity them. jaffa cakes are so good too.

shakespeare is such a good choice hes so cool. to meet The genius himself would be a dream.

work song FOREVERRRR

i love these hype songs. excellent hype vibes.

SNOW!! i love making snowmen sm. its actually snowing here as i type. idk what happened to the 10degree weather but yeah.

lady macbeth and macbeth !!!!! i love this. and omg i was OBSESSED with it in 2017 like OBSESSED. lemme try and guess who's who here.....u have said lu was taller than u so were u georgie? hoping im right.

answering qs:

fuck marlene, marry lily, kill pandora. i love pandora so much but i cant pass up an opportunity with marlene. sorry pandora <3

fuck reg, marry evan, kill barty. i think im too similar to reg to wanna marry him (although he is very wealthy.....) & evan seems like good marriage material so. also killing barty bc its funny.

what i like to spend my money on: mostly clothes and jewelry. and candles sometimes. omg and books how could i forget!!

inside joke with liv: we've got this dumb little handshake we've had since literally forever that we call the bunnyfish (long story, idek how to begin explaining it) im the bunny shes the fish. ive been trying to convince her to get matching bunny and fish tattoos FOREVER but to no success. ill get there someday!!

weird fear: maybe more of an irrational fear but i cannot lean against car doors while theyre moving cause what if it opens and i fall out on to the road and die. like what if. it plagues my life fr.

weirdest dare ive ever done: tbh i cant even remember. i usually pick truth cause my friends can be EVIL and i will not subject myself to their dares. they're never creative enough with their truth questions so its always something dumb like "darkest secret" or "who do u like"

worst impulse buy: luckily nothing huge, but i impulse buy random shit like nail polish or lipstick all the time. i have yet to buy something i fully regret but im sure the day will come!

fav quote ever: AHH okay this is such a good question. my absolute fav is from anne carson's an oresteia:

“Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.”

something about someone wanting to take care of u even when ur at ur worst just KILLS ME. RIPS me apart.

9. fav quote from a fic: this is a basic answer but i really love that line in atyd about james having an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match it. just <3 yes. i love that man so much. theres also a bunch of lines in just lovers by zar that are taken from little women that just kill me every time i read.

10. ever met a celeb: ive never spoken to any but i DID walk past seth rogen like a month ago. and i saw john mulaney with olivia munn over this past summer too it was jarring.

11. fav snack: theres this snack mix i love called humpty dumpty party mix and its SO good. (the cheese one specifically) its got mini pretzels and doritos and puffy cheetos and crunchy cheetos and these little cheesy hoop things in it and its delicious.

12. crush on anyone: (dw ur good i dont mind!) not atm! i think my standards are too high bc of fictional characters and celebs so people irl always pale in comparison. like if ur not james potter or lily evans or sirius black im not wasting my time its simple.

13. who knows me best: definitely liv. she is as much a part of me as i am of her and we can read each others minds. also my dad, im almost a carbon copy of him cause we have the same interests and sense of humour .

14. lover vs getaway car: lover. the hopeless romantic in me had to. i love getaway car but its gonna have to be lover <3

15. all time favourite moment: visiting italy and greece was a dream come true cause ive always wanted to visit since i was a little kid. since it was a school trip i was with my friends and liv ofc and i had the time of my life. seeing the parthenon irl and the colosseum in rome changed the trajectory of my life fr.

16. fav moment with liv: ive got many but one specific one thats really special to me was when i came out to her & fine line by harry styles was playing & she almost crashed the car cause she was crying (WITH HAPPINESS LOL) it was very funny. that song has a special place in my heart bc of that <3 i also love when we go for late night drives and blast music. or when when we go to the beach at sunset with a bottle of wine>>>

17. r(egg) vs r(edge): im a r(redge) truther idc. i know his name is rEGulus but i am Not calling him r(egg) it sounds like EGG!!!!! r(edge) forever.

18. languages: sadly english is the only one i fluently speak. i know some italian but im not fluent (i blame my dad, whos literally from italy but didnt fucking teach me his language. wtf man) i also know some spanish and very very minimal french. i can read basic norwegian as well(i was obsessed with SKAM in 2015 so i had to learn some) BUT in terms of reading, i can read ancient greek and a bit of latin. also aurebesh which is a writing system from star wars (massive fucking nerd alert)

qs for u!

fuck marry kill evan reg barty

fuck marry kill pandora lily marlene

how many languages do u speak?

fav gemstone/crystal/stone?

have u watched the new last of us show? (if u havent u should its SO good)

sea, forest, or mountains?

what was ur dream job when u were a kid?

whats a topic u could talk for hours about?

celeb crush(es)?

spotify or apple music? (or other if u dont use these)

fav constellation?

fav memory with lu?

whats one food u have always wanted to try?

thats all for now! if u see this before u take ur exam GOOD LUCK!!!! u got this. if u see this after i hope it went well. either way remus would be proud <3

-bee

bee beee beeeeeee !!!! <33333

“too far away from sirius to be in the picture.” fuck fuck fuck this is the cause of my DEATH. i died and this is why. (pls one day catch them in a pic together. one of us shall do this. new mission.)

I KNOW HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST MILF EVER <33333 (did you see theinvisiblemuseum’s fanart of lily ???? it’s so fucking good ???) & you’re right she would’ve so loved taylor swift (can imagine her dancing to lover with james)

tay tay <333

mr perfectly fine - JEGULUS - this song is fucking jegulus after they break up and regulus is all ‘you promised. you promised. you promised’ ‘Mr. "Leaves me all alone, " I fall apart// It takes everything in me just to get up each day’ IT’S LITERALLY HIMMMM. he left and regulus fucking shattered this is the TRUTH.

message in a bottle - JEGULUS - i’m thinking a celebrity au jegulus where they like date secretly or james is a fanboy then gets famous and reg writes a track for James’s movie (??? fic idea alert) AND I’M SO YES. THE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE IS SUCH A REGULUS THING TO DO , TOO . (mr rab in a locket)

last kiss - JEGULUS / WOLFSTAR - this matches perfectly for both of them - except more wolfstar because in canon i think reg would’ve definitely known that they’d have a last kiss. and remus was the one who would’ve trusted him and all that shit. (and hello?? remus would so fuckin dance for sirius this is canon?? and wear his clothes after he’s in azkaban . )

fic rec for u (did i forget last time ?? i will not do this again , ‘tis a crime) - pink lemonade by moonysbookshelff (ft jegulus wolfstar rosekiller , with ace evan , and a happy ending , and also it’s a celeb au!!)

chatting !!!!

no because i’ve heard far too much of harry’s englishman accent when he’s yelling in some speech to sit through 2hrs of that shit.

“kids look this is a souvenir pic i took many years ago from my trip to london , the city of fashion & vibes.” “that’s a fucking pigeon mom.” (not a fucking pigeon why the fucking pigeon. no please no.)

but tbh pink is my favourite colour …. but i have too many shirts and trousers that i’d lose my mind to see as pink. so no thanks , no red socks today!!

YES OMG !!! podg ben barnes = sirius & dune tim = regulus !!!! this is canon major fucking canon !!!!!!!!! (it’s the smile and the facial expressions.) AND CALLING PAUL REGULUS THAT’S A CLOSE ONE . they might’ve found out the depths of your insanity then !!

yes yes godspeed but i did medium well on it. like everyone’s yapping on about the last q on the exam which they got like ‘4.35’ and i got 190 so idk. that’s like 2 marks i lost right then and there!!!

that lady should be arrested for war crimes. it was madness i tell you, MADNESS.

taylor and 1D over jazz , but you gotta try the jazz thing at least once. at least. it feels surreal, i’m telling you. this liz sounds so fucking cool high five to us dude we won the lottery of best friends.

wdym you didn’t know it was kentucky??? was there not a fucking colonel sanders standing right there ??? COLONEL SANDERS FOR THE WIN (i love kfc!) . this what i’m saying all fields look the same i can’t fuckin differentiate.

L & E // L & B —- > best motherfucking friends you will ever find ever. got the ‘married by 40’ pact with my dude too.

wine & books & fanfic > actual romantic satisfaction. alwaysssss. (i do not like her anymore. she’s consdescending as fuck. what the fuck do u mean ‘can’t believe u dk what a processor blah blah computer shit thingy is ??’ BITCH CAN U TELL ME WHAT A FUCKING KETONE IS ???? i thought not.)

i’m so obsessed with likeafuneralls art. she’s drawn the first art of xenophilius lovegood i’ve ever seen and looking at it i was like ‘damn now i understand how pandora got locked down.’ ALRIGHT OKAY THEY’LL GO UP ON MY WALLS NOW. (you’re literally so right likeafunerall literally never misses her art is fucking ETHEREAL.)

IK IK THEY ARE . ESPECIALLY THE TIMMY AND GARY OLDMAN THING I WAS LIKE ‘SIRIUS AND REG SIRIUSANDREG.’ this like when andrew and ben barnes met (have u seen that photo pls say yes it’s life changing as fuck.)

me too i really want to go to a fuckin hozier concert i rlly think my life would be changed. like it would be.

on a slightly related note- have u seen the jesusxjudas edits??? they’re fr making me all emotional like damn jesus knew and he was all ‘fine I sacrifice myself if u kiss me u lil bitch’ . & yes i hope brutus gave him a little eye contact at the very least. like something intense.

HE IS PSYCHIC. I swear it. i love it.

i was so fuckin heartbroken it was unreal and my heart was a bunch of tosh for like three days. harry thinks only usa exists . like hello??? what abt canada ?? AHAT ABOUT YOUR ROOTS??? ENGLAND ??? LONDON??? MANCHESTER??? I don’t care about u enough to go to the usa for u (i’d only do that for ZAYN.)

we dress like our houses as we should (currently in red pjs because it’s 9:00am and my exam is at 1:30 so i don’t have to leave until like 12:30.)

cruel summer just fuckin hits right yk??? it just does it’s like i ascend to heaven . ( ‘GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL’ is my national anthem fr)

😀😀😀😀 i’m very scared now ! very ! but i shall power through because i am no stranger to pain! yay!

piss & gladiators ong. that’s such a funny sentence though fr ‘piss and gladiators’ .

next time i’ll deck them in their motherfuckin faces. not kidding. was nearly late to my exam because of them. but I’ll just give them detention because as a higher-up , i can do that! so very good!! college student gives the lil bitches in the corridors detention !! more at 7!

yessss i can switch it up. when i get lu to pick me up and i’m taking a lil too long to get ready he just full names me and i’m THERE. but ess is good for me honestly it’s all smooth and stuff.

UNCLE MOONY :((((( (*sobs*)

IT’S AUTUMN. AUTUMN . this is truth. nothing else is true but this. (winter is bae.)

AHHHHH THANK U SM !!!!!! I AM GRACIOUSLY ACCEPTING THIS ENERGY OH MY GODDDD. i will challenge mr lupin through myself i will. (fuck physics !!)

just be loyal to dumpydumpster and fawkes will come through !!! (unicorns & phoenixes 5ever!!)

nah this is so real of u don’t waste ur time on non-book lovers book lovers only pls and thank u everyone else fuck off you aren’t good enough.

stealing money from the bank yesssss. hut unfortunately lu is the banker and he’s just as competitive so he will not budge AT. ALL. all right this friday i’m getting lu to teach me that’s it.

cafe terrace at night walk by with your bf/gf and hold their hand and ahhh melttttt . And jazz would so be a part of this experience i agree !!!

I AM ALSO SORRY ABOUT MY BIO EXAM. but i put something down for every q and that’s a fuckin achievement. honestly . the brownie was vv good plus a walk and taylor , solved so many of my problems honestly.

WE GOTTA FIND SOMEONE TO DO THIS WITH ISTG. annotating books with shi like ‘you’d do this’ making me cry and that.

hozier is me. i is him. we are one. imagine having a song written about u by hozier. like i’d straight up keel over and DIE.

Sports suck !! (badminton and sometimes cricket watching me . and also lu. )

AHAHA ITALIAN YESSSS. portugal is fucking amazing . there’s a little church up in portugal (sanctuary of out lady fatima) and it’s my peace place honestly . feeling so much less worry when i’m there. if u go to portugal that is a must!!! AND so is algarve. algarve is also home <333 I miss it now :) THE FOOD IS AMAZING , YESSS!!! you must try pastel de nata !!! (egg custard tarts!!!) i really love them they’re so fucking good.

REG AS A BLACK CAT IS THE ONLY HC THAT MATTERS HONESTLY. I love it so so much. and james as a horrible shower singer ???? canon fr. (i adore jily night owl/early bird so fucking much it’s like a release i adore it so much they had that for a little while at least!) JAMES HAS MAGICAL POWERS FR FR !!!! i wish i had them too damn me with headaches and shit.

yes they’re lesbians if i’ve ever seen them. and moonWATER???? that’s fucking HARSH ??? (i’d read a oneshot maybe. maybe.)

my secondary house is slytherin !!! and oh my god that’s literally so cool i just have the one patronus!!

luna luna luna i’m just as sane as her she gets me fr.

I’m literally so jealous of so many American restaurants. i want dairy queen now damn. if i ever come there i will go to dairy queen and i’m very excited for that.

barrs cream soda is literally bae it’s so good (though it used to be 39p and now it’s 59p ???? rip off asf but i’d still buy it )

i’m an ex-gifted kid now try-hard

IK IT IS MYSTERIOUS AS FUCK

mtr kills me . i’m in a battlefield every time i hear that song fr. (cruel summer is a close second <33)

one second i am timmy tim at the oscars next i am one of the queen’s corgis!!!!! the opportunities are endless

they went into the fucking vacuum of the earth or something where else WHY DOES IT HAPPEN. WHY DO YOU GO. STAY???

smarties and jaffa cakes >>> shitty american chocolate

it would be a dream. I have so many questions and he’s the only one who could ever answer that.

work song. work song. work song.

THEY GET ME ALL BOPPING WHILE I’M GETTING DRESSED AND STUFF.

it’s SNOWING??? lucky asf tell me if it’s enough for a snowman at the very least.

WE THOUGHT WE WERE SO SMART BECAUSE WE KNOW MACBETH BY HEART having studied it and all!! (AND I KNEW YOU’D GUESS THAT. i was it & he was georgie and that’s what was so funny because he’s taller so him wearing a yellow raincoat and with the red balloon and stuff it was so funny. and i was the creepy fucking clown but he was still funnier because imagine a tall blonde georgie like DAMN. )

reviewing q’s -

marlene would treat you right. I just know she would.

marry him for the money!!! marrying evan is a good choice too though (killing barty for the win!!!)

clothes and books and candles and jewellery YESSS GIRL AS YOU SHOULD JAZZ YOURSELF UP.

liv better step up and get that tattoo. you guys are the bunnyfish it’s practically illegal not to get that tattoo.

no same honestly i’m a second away from my death i could be rolling on the ground and die in a few second fr you’re so valid for this.

picking truth forever yessss >>>> (i’ve picked dare but i’m playing with lu so it’s always stuff like ‘i dare u to eat a spoonful of ketchup’ like damb boy you can do better.)

i buy nail polish and lipstick from poundland and primark all the time. literally it’s an addiction because i think buying them for a pound is a good deal . but then i buy like 20 of them and suddenly i’m a hoarder. (special mention to my buys of the royal butter and the toblerone!)

THIS QUOTE. OH MY GOD THIS QUOTE THIS QUOTE . killing me opening me helaing me and killing me. someone loving u like this is all u fucking need fr >>>

james potter has an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match. mskingbean knew what she was doing fr . I LIVE FOR LITTLE WOMEN REFERENCES IN FICS OMG I’M ACTUALLY WRITING ONE AS WE SPEAK.

i’ve never met a celebrity so that’s annoying. wlaking past seth rogen??? so casually??? i’d be screaming and stuff. seeing john mulaney and olivia munn must be jarring actually. i’m jarred rn. like wdym they sit around eating lunch like me??

this sounds so funny ‘humpty dumpty party mix’ dying dead. but also i want to eat it sounds really fucking good and such a range of cuisine in there seriously.

no this is so real of u. I don’t crush on anyone except for fictional characters who real humans will never ever live up to.

ahhhhhhhhh liv knowing you bestttt that’s peak platonic soulmatism!!!! (your dad sounds so cool 2 fr) i get that sm because lu knows me best and that’s honestly peak knowing someone that well .

lover’s my first dance song, but it depends on what mood i’m in. sometimes i need to feel like a criminal, and at that point it’s getaway car. but rn it’s lover. in a very lover mood atm.

AHHHHH OH MY GOD THAT’S SO COOL AHHHHHHHHH SEEING THE PARTHENON??? I wanna see it too DAMN.

coming out while driving yesssss because they have to keep driving. (And to Harry styles??? double cool??) for me it was lu that figured it out . he was like damn you a bisexual. (obviously more deep but this is very much the gist of it) LONG DRIVES WITH MUSIC AND WINE AND SUNSET OH MY GODDDDDDD . DREAM.

u chose the right answer. like idc as a brit , which is where regulus is from , i say r(edge) so it’s redge. DONE. (although if anyone else says it it doesn’t matter ALL that much. )

listen i watched friends and i think ‘va fa a napoli’ is a swear ??? confirmation pls ??? I TRIED TO LEARN SWEDISH FOR THIS EXACT REASON OMG. because i was obsessed with young royals but i only did one lesson. my brain said no! i did 6 years of french , have a french fluent best friend and still can’t speak it properly. such a pain honestly. (that’s such a cute lil nerdy thing to do tho damn girl u get that excited???? go learn your star wars language YES DO IT!!!) (AHHH U CAN READ ANCIENT GREEK ??? MA’AM THAT’S SO COOL.)

q’s for me —->

fuck evan marry reg kill barty. i am a gold digger. that’s all. and barty because he did stuff to alive and frank and if it comes to choosing i shall bring that up unfortunately .

marry lily fuck marlene kill pandora (sorry pandora sorry u don’t deserve it) lily evans is WIFEY. she is wife she is mother i am hers and she is mine. love her.

My time to shine as a polyglot.

portuguese

gujrati

hindi

urdu

marathi

bsl

i am fluent in all of the above but i also speak punjabi a lil and also know braille english , but apparently that’s not a language so i can’t use it.

4. topaz cool as shit. so topaz , but also obsidian and amethyst (birthstone alert!!)

5. i have not ! however I saw a quote of it on my dash (‘you were my purpose’) so now i will watch it !! very excited for it !!!

6. forest. could be lovely there with picnics and shit. i’ve had a forest picnic and i’ve been fine so forest. not sea because i won’t betray reg , and not mountains because i cannot climb !!!

7. weirdly enough a hairdresser 💀💀💀 wtf was up in my head??? i used to think the cutting and dyeing hair was so cool and i really wanted to do it until i was like 9. then i got some sense knocked into me.

8. cancer 💀💀i did my epq (which is like a dissertation of sorts) on this and i still remember everything and honestly it’s so sad and so much but i could talk about it for ages. BUT ON A HAPPIER NOTE !!! I COULD TALK ABOUT PLATONIC SOULMATISM FOR HOURS !!!!!! HOW A FRIEND LIEK THAT IS SO SO IMPORTANT THAN HAVING A BILLION FRIENDS WHO WON’T EVEN KNOWN YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR !!!!

9. timothée chalamet & louis partridge ( i love timmy for obvious reasons & i could so treat louis better than his grandma ass girlfriend come here bb) ALSO FLORENCE AND ZENDAYA (but I don’t want tom to bite my thumb off for simping after his gf)

10.APPLE MUSIC !!!!! APPLE MUSIC FOREVER AND EVER ARE YOU KIDDING ???? dolby atmos just does somrthing to my ears.

11.canis major !!! very sirius of me but canis major !!! love it and i can tell which star is sirius right away. but draco is a close second !!!

12.well u know about the dancing jazz . so i’ll pick another one (hard to choose damn) i took him with me to a wedding as my date (fake of course because of the family asking do u have a bf yet do u have a bf yet) and he was the white boy there and he was wearing a tux and he was so innocent and everything he ate was so spicy he nearly cried but he powered through and when he came out on the dance floor he DID THE DANCE BETTER THAN ME???? how dare he??????? and he was so nice to all my family who kept calling him ‘gora’ (white boy) even though he fully knew what that meant . like he did all that and he bought a toaster to gift to them as well. it was something else and i will always remember that. BUT ALSO I HAVE ANOTHER WEDDING COMING UP SOON (start of march) AND I’M TAKING HIM AS MY FAKE DATE AGAIN !!!! hoping he’s built his spice tolerance up , but i shall update u soon on whether he has or not.

13. i really fucking want wingstop. like so badly. I would fly to the us for that shit i just WANT ONE CHOMP ON THAT STUFF. it looks so fucking good and life changing like damn come in my mouth bb. And also birria tacos. i need to try that asap it looks so good i could cry.

q’s for u -

something u could talk about for hours?

worst advice you’ve ever given?

worst advice you’ve ever taken?

if u were a periodic table element which one would u be ?

what’s your undercover spy name ?

do you prefer savoury or sweet?

Who’s your favourite friend (from the tv show)?

3 wishes ??

how long are u surviving in a zombie apocalypse?

favourite stone ?

fave constellation ?

weirdest dream ?

worst dream?

best dream ?

timothée chalamet or ben barnes ?

things u eat at the movies ?

last text you sent?

last text you got ?

phone calls or text messages ?

what greek tragedy hero are u ? (this is a quiz & i got orpheus !)

And what’s your favourite meme ? I must know this?

(beeeeee beeee thank u for being such a lovely human !!! come back soon !!! i will miss u and i’m seeing this before the exam , so i’m chanelling all my remus Lupin energy into this. thank u for the luck , i wish u luck in life <3333 come back soon dont be too long !!! )

[smute]

(tags by @memyselfandmystupidity-isback )

step 1: be unemployed student

step 2: have a big project to procrastinate on

step 3: live with aging parents for extra motivation

step 4: success! kfkfkfkls

more serious answer (not addressed to you necessarily, i ended up writing a lot more than i thought lol):

i spent the last 2 years living in a tiny studio apartment. it came fully furnished so i moved in with only 2 suitcases and a few boxes worth of stuff, and it ended up being a very efficient and well-organized space. i think that was a key experience for me because it gave me an opportunity to approach housework (and all other everyday maintenance tasks) from a completely new angle.

for the previous *quicks mafs* 9 years of living on my own it had always been this huge, endless, impossible-to-complete list of things that i HAD to do no matter what, which meant that i usually ended up doing those things either very reluctantly (=badly) or not at all. but now, for the very first time in my life, i was living in a home where everything felt... manageable.

i think most of us have an appreciation for nice surroundings. not everyone cares about interior design or color theory or throw pillows, but we all prefer to spend our time in a clean environment. so its not like the reward for the task (e.g. washing the dishes or putting stuff away or cleaning the toilet or doing the laundry) is meaningless. it's just insufficient relative to the effort required.

for me, living in a smaller, more manageable space simply meant that the effort needed to complete those tasks was now much smaller. basically, i learned that it isn't an impossibility, that it can actually be done. i gave my inner sisyphus a smaller boulder, and he made it to the top of the mountain. and, if i may exhaust the metaphor, it is much easier to enjoy the view from up there. so its not just that i finally proved to myself that it was possible at all, but it also allowed me to focus more on enjoying the rewards.

most importantly though, it gave me a chance to develop better strategies for myself. and that is something that simply isn't possible when you're constantly exhausting yourself and struggling to just get half the things done that you want to. you don't really think about how to improve when you routinely fail to meet even the minimum goal.

this is probably all very adhd specific (and ofc it's all anecdotal) but here are some of things that helped me make the boulder smaller:

IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM(S)! it could be that you have too much space (2 rooms are easier to clean than 4), too many things filling the space (im a maximalist but i got rid of a lot of things when i realized that i wasnt dusting my shelves because i hated taking those things off the shelves and then putting them back every time), or maybe it's just that the space is badly organized

get more storage. open storage is great because i tend to forget that things exist when i haven't seen them in a while, but obviously closed storage is better for keeping things out of sight and reducing visual clutter (and dust). the goal here is for every item to have a "home" that you can return it to. nothing throws me off my game like a random object lying around. two hours later it'll be 5 things, and the next day it'll have grown into a whole pile of crap that i now have to put away. untested theory, but i firmly believe that clutter reproduces by binary fission.

storage bins, shelf dividers, boxes, baskets, trays, whag ever. these things really help with the whole "everything has a home" idea. put labels on things if necessary and marie kondo the shit out of your place. tidying up an unorganized space can feel like rebuilding new orleans after katrina on a weekly basis. but once you are organized, it becomes infinitely easier to STAY organized—maintaining order is easier than creating order.

MAKE A PLAN! ive mentioned this on here before (and again, this is very adhd specific) but i have a list for every single chore that i can refer to when i "get stuck" or start running around like a headless chicken. breaking tasks down into smaller sub-tasks means you can just do them with a no thoughts head empty kind of attitude. the brain's done its job, you're just the muscle.

example: my current list for cleaning my room is actually a keynote presentation that i put on fullscreen before i start, so whenever my adhd brain goes "where was i?" i can just look across the room and bam. keep going ⬇️

i also put stuff like "laundry" or "clean bathroom" in my calendar. setting aside an hour or two on the weekend is much more effective in my experience than doing a little bit here and there whenever you can. its also a big psychological help: if you see that your hamper is getting kinda full and you go "oh i guess i should do laundry but i dont want to/can't rn/don't have the time," it just becomes another thing hanging over your head and taking up mental space. but seeing a full hamper and going "today isn't laundry day" means the file can be closed immediately.

also, when you start a load of laundry, set a timer!!!

dont be afraid to ask for help/advice, or just look things up. most chores require skill. i learned how to clean a toilet from a very nice lady on youtube. turns out the way my (adhd) mom taught me was thorough, but neither fast nor efficient lmao

USE THE RIGHT TOOLS!! example: i love vacuuming because i have a vacuum that actually works. it doesnt have to be a dyson, mine is chinese and i got it for less than a hundgie bucks on black friday. its cordless, its gorgeous, and it sucks dust like a motherfucker. the reason i love doing laundry is because i have multiple small hampers. it means i can pre-sort my laundry, and one full hamper equals the exact capacity of my warshing mashing. actually starting a load requires almost no effort because i can just grab one and dump it into the washer. my drying rack also fits a full load (hard cut back to me a few years ago and laundry day meant hangers everywhere, clothes drying over armrests and chairs, it was a nightmare). cleaning my kitchen counters is a breeze because i use disposable wipes. yes, the planet is dying, but for me they're an accessibility tool. of course i could force myself to use a cleaning rag that i have to hang up and dry and switch out and wash regularly, but that would just mean i'd never touch it. if you're not eating carrots because you hate peeling them, the solution is not to stop eating carrots. it's to buy peeled ones.

anyway. sorry, this escalated kind of quickly. but honestly, if i had figured some of these things out when i first moved out 11 years ago, i could have saved myself a lot of frustration. so if any of it helps just one person despair a little less the next time they have to clean or wash something or do whatever, im happy.

i know how insane this sounds but laundry has become one of my favorite pastimes. i am 100% serious. i was looking forward to doing laundry today because the weather is perfect for airdrying and was shocked to find my hamper empty? im also finding more and more enjoyment in housework in general. i love cleaning and tidying up, now that i am finally somewhat organized and most things have a designated place. i have somehow managed to turn this sisyphean hell into a wellspring of dopamine. most chores provide both visible progress and instant gratification and i now realize that the only reason why i always hated doing them was that i was overwhelmed with too many other responsibilites. i cook dinner almost every night now, even after a busy day, and i dont mind doing the dishes. in fact, i delight in the low stakes challenge of loading the dishwasher as efficiently as possible and i love handwashing the pots that are too big to fit. i vacuum almost daily because it is so satisfying, and i spend every free minute decorating my space, hanging pictures, making my bed, watering the plants. i oil squeaky door hinges now, and i rewire lamps, i pull weeds in the front yard and paint walls in the basement. PLEASE WILL SOMEBODY JUST LET ME BE A QUEER STAY AT HOME DAD im not built for salaried work

[thetangibleghost]

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.��

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[mingot-studios]

Things currently polluting my mind (will be added to as i think of things)

 How bad the Star vs. Finale was, and weather i should even bother trying to watch the show again at this point

The fact that the next JoJolion chapter is coming out soon and I STILL haven’t read 107 with my mom even though I’ve already read it

Not being caught up on One Piece and having 0 IDEA of whats happening at this poin as well starting to flaws with the series (racism, transphobia, and homophobia) that i knew was there but chose to ignore and weather it should hinder my relationship with the series. Also wanting to murder Oda for demoting Franky to ‘Pervy Grandma’ (srsly wtf oda)

Upset Infinity Train was cancelled even though i never watched it, and wonder why the fans cry for it to come is suddenly not happening?

The fact i’m going to be returning to in person schooling which is my personal HELL

my brother leaving for college upstate (Me and my brother have never really been that close, we fight alot but I cant imagine life without him)

The fact that my procrastination has gotten so bad that I nearly had to retake PE, World History, and English

The Owl House coming back on the 12th but i had downloaded the first 2 episodes but haven’t watched them and debating if i should, also having a meltdown  over Disney screwing the show over and having its third be 3 or 4 (i cant remember) 44-minute specials

The fact that me and brother STILL haven’t finished our Yume 2kki Let’s Play

I haven’t been watching anime regularly with my mom

I haven’t posted anything to my DeviantArt or YouTube in months

I have so much energy right now but no outlets

I still haven’t tried out my drawing pad i got for my birthday last year

I have so many drawing ideas but my spiral sketchpad is filled up and I have yet to get a new one

Ive many intricit and detailed story ideas that i know im gonna forget if i dont write them down bu due my procrastination i haven’t done so im prolly gonna lose everything

The fact Thurston Waffles hasn’t posted anything since late April as well as the fact that he’s got Kidney problems

So many ideas for videos but I only have WindowsMovieMaker and the HumbleBundle my mom got me idk YEARS ago won’t install

I’m gonna be 17 at the end of September, which i only have until next June before I graduate High school, have to give up my Chromebook, start thinking about college and getting a job, possibly moving out and living on my own, the knowledge that my parents are in their late 50′s and early 60′s so hey might be gone sooner than most parents and I dont know how to function without my parents doing everything for me

These weird tingles ive been getting in my body for he pas couple days

The fact that im not gonna a kid soon and im gonna have to grow and stop doing whatever i want whenever i want and i’m gonna never accomplish my dream of creating a successful cartoon and will probably end up at a dead end job I HATE just to make ends meet and eventually dying alone because I dont wanna be in a relationship or have kids

Everything is too overwhelming. The light, the sound, my thoughts, its all too much. I wanna curl up into a tiny ball and disappear from this awful experience called life

Capitalism

i hate being so passionately when i’m upset, everyone else is calm but i have meltdowns and freaks outs over things i shouldn’t even care about or are miniscule (Comes with being autistic i guess)

I have 0 patience and i hate it

I’m starting to regress back to being a childish brat after all the progress i’ve made

i’m constantly surrounded by either criticism or praise that contradict each other so i dont know what to believe about myself

the fact that i have so many great story ideas but i cant write a cohernt thought with proper grammer or sytax or spelling o save my life, nor the art skill or the patience or the tech to draw comics

i haven seen my therapist in days and i need help but i know im not actually gonna change 

having gender panic

I have no in person friends and ive forgotten how to interact with people

ive become a noodle limbed nerd

Ive gotten super skinny

I want someone o break through my shell and help me change bu I know thats just a fantasy and im the only one who can do that but im too lazy to put effort into it

everything i used to enjoy suddenly feels tedious monotonous repetitive and uninteresting

I feel trapped and scraed 

The fact after being bulied so much the only way i can really assert myself is to get violent and angry because they would want me breakdown and cry

I have this image in my head of who i want to be; And badass that people including adults, are scared of and know not to fuck with me or they’ll get hurt (Basically Jotaro, bu I’ve had this image since before i even knew what jojo was) And the fact I KNOW that i’s a pointless endever and that i only dig my own grave when i get mad but its like ingrained Branded into my my psyche so im always going to larp that vision of myself but not get anywhere and only regress further

I want to address my problems and change but I never do and stay static and regress

I cant take crticisim even though i know its true

The reason im so scared of writing fanfiction is because i know its gonna be a mess despite what i think is a great story and people will end up mocking it and what little self confidence i have will shatter

Star Vs wasted potential

the fact that I dont know where to take the whole “Rubi dies at the  end of he first season but comes back o life except she’s not actually she’s just a walking meat sack containing an anchint eldritch god that will, sooner or later, burst out of her and destroy her body, and she’s fighting for control of her ow body due to Skarlotus trying to devor her soul and Data’s medience is only delaying the inevitable” storyline of my concept cartoon, The Crypto Club

I have an AMAZING idea for an Invader Zim storyline that has fascism, rascism, mass genocide, child soldiers, political intrigue, propaganda, baiscally space hitler and more (okay that came out sound REALLY bad, but NONE of it painted as good!) It also involves Zim and Dib coming together to stop an even bigger threat and there is a really ironic ending that brings my OC GA83′s story full circle