#ive been kinda in dumps but I’ve been feeling better and this helped too so thanks a lot sis💗/p (sorry if that’s weird 😭)
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pastelpousay · 1 month ago
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Hiya!!!
Just wanted to stop by and say that I hope you’re doing well and that I love Rina and your Hadina ship and your art so much!!! You’re super duper awesome and I love the fic you’ve been writing too!!! ☺️
Hihi!! :D
Thank you so much!! I’m doing just fine, I hope you’re doing good as well!! 💗
I Really appreciate your support for all my Hadina Shippy stuff and I’m glad you like my art as well!! Ik it may not seem like it but I really do appreciate it a lot it encourages me to keep going :3 so thank you smm again!! 💗
ALSO IM SO SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY FIC AS WELL 😭😭 ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING HOW THE WRITING IS. ik the writing isn’t exactly the best at some points but I try 😭 I’ll get better I promise and my updates take me a while but I’ll try and update again soon enough when I get the energy and time to. (Probably gonna get started on that today if I can)
I also really really like the fic you’ve been writing too!! You’ve done a really amazing job on it I can’t wait to see more from you!! 💗 I think you’re super duper awesome as well 😼‼️
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islandofsages · 10 months ago
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HEYY!! I love your writing from what i've read and i was wondering if i could ask for a gn reader (yuu) teaching the housewardens about like classic fandom lore- like imagine them turning into matpat to explain fnaf and undertale!! 😭😭 feel free to not do this and have a good day!! Thanks :D
characters: housewardens x gn!yuu
tags: platonic, fluff, crack kinda, imagines format
warnings: swearing
author's notes: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG also all the fandoms mentioned here are all fandoms ive been in at some point :D fun times mhm
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Riddle Rosehearts
He knows you’re very passionate about fandom culture but you never really had the chance to infodump about it to him
Until one day, you drop by Heartslabyul for a leisurely visit, when you see a not-so-clearly distressed Riddle sitting in the lounge
Not-so-clearly meaning he’s holding a teacup in his hand yet not drinking it, eyes closed as if he’s holding in all his emotions
You grow worried at this sight and slide next to him on the couch where he is seated, hoping you can help alleviate some of that stress
He sees you and he allows himself a sigh, then musters up a smile for you. He greets you and you cut straight to the point - can you help him with anything?
He releases a second sigh and shakes his head, telling you he only needs some sort of distraction. He just had a long day and needs to take his mind off things
You take a second to think of things that you can distract him with – that’s when a lightbulb goes off in your head. This is a prime opportunity for you
“Okay, I’m guessing you haven’t heard of Five Nights at Freddy’s since it’s a franchise from my world and all but the lore is crazy. So it starts like this…”
He wasn’t expecting to be paying much attention to the contents of what you’re saying but sooner or later, he ends up leaning towards you with his hand cupping his chin, mouth slightly agape at the story you’re telling
This inspires you to dump even more information about the media somehow at the rate that you’re going
By the end of it, he’s completely forgotten what he was so worried about. His head is full of creepy pizzerias for kids and haunted animatronics
He ends up having some trouble sleeping that night though. He’ll get you for that later.
Leona Kingscholar
He won’t lie, your interest in fandoms is too reminiscent of Idia for him – he doesn’t admit this to you obviously, since he hasn’t had the chance to
But on one particularly boring day, you decide to skip class with him and he lets you tag along for the hell of it
In the span of three seconds, he’s already off in dreamland. Sometimes you wish you had such a skill
Since you have nothing better to do and he’s way too deep in his sleep to even care anyway, you start rambling to yourself and a slumbering Leona
“Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about Undertale lately so I need to dump it all somewhere. So basically you play as this kid…”
Little do you know halfway through his nap, he wakes up from how much you’re talking. At first, he’s annoyed by your yapping but then he grows interest in what you’re saying
He’s almost tempted to try that game for himself and almost disappointed that it’s not available in Twisted Wonderland. Emphasis on almost.
When you’re done rambling, that’s when he stretches his arms over his head and yawn, commenting how noisy you were
You shrug it off. You're used to him complaining about you yapping instead of napping alongside him
…But then he asks you to tell him more about Undertale, if there's any more information you’re keeping from him out of the kindness of your heart
You smile smugly at this and his expression seems to say “don't make me regret asking” but oh, you definitely will make him regret even being friends with you in the first place
Needless to say, regrets were not the only thing he held at the end of that day.
Azul Ashengrotto
Similar to Leona, your fixation on fandom culture reminds him too much of Idia. not that that’s necessarily a bad thing - it’s more of an observation
And he gets more than an observation when you get the chance to show him what you’re made of: useless fandom culture and gaming knowledge
Speaking of Idia, he goes to you as a last resort to ask you to help him understand whatever the hell Idia’s talking about
You don’t know too much about Twisted Wonderland’s fandom culture just yet but when Azul explains the premise of a certain game and its fandom, it gives you an idea
“Sounds pretty similar to Yandere Simulator. Ooh, that one has a lot of history. Let me tell you about it…”
Unfortunately for him, he ended up unlocking your geekiness instead of having you address the things he was confused with
But at least your story makes it a bit easier to understand? He’s yet to decide that really but at least it sounds like you’re taking his lack of slang knowledge into consideration
Your infodump really gripped his attention though - it’s interesting to know another side of human culture, even if it’s not the humans of Twisted Wonderland
He would nod understandingly (or at least, politely) and thank you and your geekiness
He relays your story to Idia and finds it intriguing how similar fandom culture is in both Twisted Wonderland and your world
He would invite you to Board Game Club meetings so that you can rave and find out more about Twisted Wonderland’s fandom culture with Idia
He’d realize that was a big mistake and he may or may not have created the nerdiest pair in the world - but you guys are his nerdiest pair in the world.
Kalim Al-Asim
He’s very curious about fandom culture - he doesn’t know too much about it nor anyone who knows a lot about it so almost all the fandom information in his head are from you
He really wants to know more!!! So of course that warrants a hangout session fabricated as a study session to get Jamil’s stamp of approval
So there you are in his room, books laid out in front of the two of you but most importantly, a laptop
You two watch about a dozen videos on Twisted Wonderland’s fandom culture and as you absorb all the very-much-useful information, you sneak in tidbits from the culture of your world
“This one in particular is reminiscent of Danganronpa. Man, that one was a wild ride…”
It’s exciting to be able to talk about it with someone you trust wholeheartedly, especially Kalim, whom you know wouldn’t be so judging
He only nods in understanding at every point you made, his eyes sparkling with all the curiosity in his body
You were on your thirteenth video when you two are interrupted by a rap on the door and an unfortunately-familiar voice
So obviously you and your bestie hurriedly rush to close all the tabs on your laptop and open up something more academically-inclined
Which is obviously a…dictionary site
Jamil blinks twice at this, says nothing (but probably noting how it makes sense for you guys since you two are bumbling idiots) and walks away
If there’s any dictionary being read that day, it’d be a dictionary of fandom terminology, that’s for sure.
Vil Schoenheit
He doesn’t know too much about it - and doesn’t bother to learn much about it since he has better things to do - but since it’s you, he tries his best to be a good listener
The two of you sit down in the courtyard one day, the chirping of birds and rustling of leaves music to your ears; beauty truly is everywhere around you when you’re next to him
He’s talking about something. You’re not sure what because you’re entranced by the way his hair hangs above his eyes so elegantly. He notices this and calls you out for it
You shrug and excuse how you can’t help it - he’s like a dating simulator love interest in the real. He asks you what you mean by this. Now’s your chance to shine!
“Hmm, you know, something like Mystic Messenger? Hehe, let me tell you a bit about it…”
Unluckily for him, your “a bit” turns out to be a four-hour long ramble about the aforementioned dating simulator a little too reminiscent of Rook for his liking too
Despite his reservations, he really did enjoy hearing you talk so passionately about your interest; it’s a bonus that the topic itself is interesting
He tells you he wouldn’t mind trying out the game or at least finding out more about it though unfortunately it’s not available in Twisted Wonderland
You share his shame - until he says he’ll pitch the concept of the game to some authorities he know and perhaps make it a reality
Sorry, he’s going to what now?
You’re a little shaken. Sometimes you forget he’s a world-class model, despite his looks and mannerisms. You save your nerves for if a Twisted Wonderland version of Mystic Messenger actually ends up happening
He thanks you for enlightening him about fandom and video gaming culture. You use this as a cue to add another four hours of ranting about V’s route in the game.
Idia Shroud
You’re another victim for him to taint… or so he thought. You’re more of an ally than a victim at this point, considering how nerdy you are
He’d dump fandom lore on you and you’d reciprocate it right back. He’s genuinely so impressed with your knowledge, even if they differ by some degree due to being from different worlds
He gets more impressed when you pull up with knowledge about Twisted Wonderland’s fandom culture like damn, you really brushed up on your talking points already
Friendly rivalry aside, he really does enjoy talking about fandom culture with you and hearing about the things from your world - every story you tell adds a little color into his world
One day, the two of you are leaning on each other, on your phones because of course you are, even if you two are friends, talking still isn’t Idia’s strong suit
That’s when you blurt it out–
“Hey, wanna hear about this game called Persona? It’s a turn-based RPG and…”
Regardless of his response to your question, you ended up babbling away either way. It’s how conversations start between the two of you
You’re speaking so fast, he would have mistaken you for a rapper - or a doppelganger of himself even
Consider him entertained - he finds himself smiling by the end of your yapping and intrigued by your story
He then obviously starts to relate it to something from Twisted Wonderland, passing the listener baton to you
You don’t mind – you can stay there for hours and hours, just going back and forth with your fellow nerdy-ass friend.
Malleus Draconia
This man barely knows how to use a smartphone so you had to be a little patient with him when guiding him through the fandom culture trenches
He’s happy that you trust and cherish him enough to talk about your interests with no reservations or shame – and the feeling is mutual
On a certain weekend, the two of you are hanging out as usual. Chatting as friends would do
You don’t know why but the conversation reminded you of a certain fandom
“It’s kinda like Genshin’s community, I guess. They’re a riot, let me tell you that.”
Oh? What’s a Genshin and why is its community a riot?
You’re glad he asked – because you’ve prepared a 100-slide presentation on the history of the game and its fans
He asks you why and how did you find the time to make that. You tell him to shut up and that it doesn’t matter, he just needs to listen to you
You start and it feels like you’ll never stop – there’s just so much to say and Malleus has so much time in the world
Seeing his reactions to certain events makes you crack up and at times, you’d laugh at his shocked expressions (or sigh exhaustively, depending on the event you’re explaining)
When you finally stop, he gives you a one-man standing ovation. You blush a little at the attention and unexpected reaction but you appreciate his sentiment nonetheless. He tells you that your presentation has been very informative for him
You’re relieved to have been able to get that off your chest… and Malleus is more than ecstatic to relay the information to everyone he’s ever known. You obviously pretend that you had no involvement in his sudden investment of a game from another world.
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marshmallowprotection · 2 years ago
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Hi Kait.
It’s been a little while. I hope you’re doing well. <3
I’m always rooting for your success and happiness lol.
I feel bad and sheepish because I never wanna be that person who only ever pops by to like,,, dump a vent when I’m struggling.
I wish I had more fun or creative stuff I could share with you more often.
I think about trying to make you a gift of some sort a lot but I always chicken out. 😔
But tbh I think the reason I feel inclined to come here when I’m feeling bad is because when I am struggling,, that’s when I turn to thoughts of Saeyoung as a source of comfort. And your blog is the best outlet I’ve found to be able to express those feelings haha.
At any rate…
I wonder if you can relate to this experience…?
When I was really sick, my mental health issues actually kinda felt better…?
It’s not like they actually went away or anything.
It’s just that,,, I literally didn’t have the mental capacity to fixate on those things like I normally would. I was deadass too exhausted to indulge my anxious or depressed thoughts and let myself spiral lmao
But now that I’m slowly staring to feel better physically, those old patterns and thoughts and feelings have been creeping back in little by little too :))
(Super unfair if you ask me 🙄 bc I *am* still sick and in pain. Just slightly less so. And now I gotta deal with the mental illness on top of it all? Now my bones hurt AND my tummy hurts AND my silly little pathetic heart hurts. Homophobia at its finest, truly.)
And like… I’m trying really hard to claw my way out of this cute little pit of self-loathing I’ve found myself in.
Especially since I know now, better than ever, that it’s completely pointless…
The world’s gonna keep turning whether I hate myself or not. It’s just a matter of whether or not I’m choosing to make myself miserable in the process.
But,,, you know. It’s never that simple.
And. It’s kinda the “trying hard” that’s been making it hurt tbh.
I can’t stop thinking about the ~injustice~ of how hard Ive tried my whole life to build a future for myself where I could finally feel ~stable and happy and loved~ like I’ve been craving my whole life or whatever. But the universe just keeps saying Sike! Over and over :’)
I had to work so hard just to fuckin survive and keep myself alive my whole childhood.
I never thought I’d be able to go to college,, I didn’t even think it was on the table for me.
But I got lucky and got support and encouragement from my friends,, and somehow I managed to make it. And it meant so much to me. I felt so overjoyed and lucky to be able to be in a place where I didn’t have to worry about my safety all the time, or where I was going to sleep or get my next meal. And better yet,, somewhere where I could pursue my dreams and passions and get a little closer every day to a future I never thought I’d have. :’D
Buuuut then Covid hit, my mental health tanked, and I stopped being able to afford my tuition. And even though I was doing everything I could and DESPERATELY trying to figure things out,, it wasn’t enough. Bc nobody at the school would fuckin help me. And it was so frustrating and upsetting to know that, no matter how good of a student I was (I was a 4.0 student in STEM smh)
And no matter how genuine and passionate I was,,,
It didn’t make a difference. Because all they cared about was my money.
Like. Not to be dramatic. But that shit legit shattered my heart and crushed my soul. :’)
Even so! I told myself,,, hey. It’s okay. You can turn this around. You just have to work harder! Push yourself even further! You’re good at that. You’ve done it before. You just need to get a job and save up so you can go back.
So I got my silly lil minimum wage pet store job.
And goddammit, I was great at that too.
I was the best damn employee at my store, if not the whole company 🙄 bc I’m SMART AND PASSIONATE ABOUT LEARNING AND HELPING ANIMALS AND CREATING BETTER LIVES FOR THEM. UGH. 😤
Worked my tits off for a year and a half. Saved up as much as I could. Got over halfway to my goal that would allow me to finally move away from my home state that I’ve always hated. Go back to school. And really and truly get a shiny new ~fresh start~
But then the universe was like, HA bitch you thought!
You actually worked *too* hard this time and now your body is broken.
So… all that money you just saved up…?
POOF! That’s all going to your medical bills now.
Or at least. A tiny fraction of your medical bills :)
And now you can’t keep working to pay those bills off, or save up more money to go back to school. Because you’re too sick!
So like… good luck I guess??
And now I’m here having to deal with the fact that my friends who started school at the same time as me are graduating this semester.
And I’m just. Spending all my days alone in my room helpless and lonely and rotting :)))
It just really stinks that even though I’ve been trying so hard my whole life and putting SO MUCH of myself into literally everything I do,,, it’s never seemed to pay off.
In fact it feels like if anything, all it’s done is come back to bite me in the ass and make the failure hurt worse in the end.
🙄🙄 big “please please please let me get what I want by the smiths” moment
But anyways *ahem*
Like I said,,,,,
Whenever I get to feeling like this. I definitely always end up thinking about and coming back to Saeyoung.
Because… different life situations, obviously.
I’m glad at least I haven’t had to check “lost twin” or “being a secret agent” off my trauma bingo card yet.
But then again. I never thought I’d check off medical trauma either and look how that turned out, so who knows what the future has in store for me? 💀
At any rate,,, I know he’d be able to empathize, and understand those feelings.
More so than anyone I’ve ever met in real life, probably.
That’s definitely a huge part of why he came to mean so much to me in the first place. And why he’s the character I come back to time and time again when things start feeling really unfair.
And,, knowing just how and why he’d be able to understand and relate to those feelings is a big part of why I love him so much…
I just get so overwhelmed any time I get caught up thinking about that man’s endless capacity for goodness and love. Even through all the shit he’s been through. And how,, no matter how hurt he was, how hopeless he felt, or how much he *wanted* to give up. He never ever could. Because that’s just who he is,, if there’s even the slimmest margin of a chance that he could do something to make the world better for his loved ones, he’d drag himself there to the point of physically falling apart and not even think twice about it.
And like,,, yeah,,, it’s an issue in its own right and breaks my heart to think of how far he’d go for others while having so little regard for himself.
But also,,,,, it’s so admirable 😭 I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Saeyoung Choi is made of love.
And like,,, more than just Ye Olde “self-destruction in the name of helping his loved ones” thing,, I also get so worked up just thinkin about him being his silly dorky self,,
And again just… through everything,, even when he tried to convince himself that it was a front and he wasn’t actually like that,,, he never stopped being bright and curious and passionate,,, because that IS who he is,,, he’s a NERD and he genuinely loves learning and trying new things and having fun,,, and spreading that joy to the people around him. 🥹❤️
It just makes me wanna fuckin SMOTHER him with all of the affection and appreciation I could ever possibly muster up. And tell him over and over and over again how incredible and kind and brave and strong and special he is, and how much I love and adore him, and how lucky and proud I feel to even exist in the same universe as someone so earnestly and relentlessly Good. 🥺🥺
I would simply like to love him to death dhdjdjd
And like. I guess it’s cathartic to me to imagine being able to do that and say those things to him.
And to really just,,, bask in those overwhelming feelings of affection.
Bc I guess that’s how I wish someone would see and feel about me 😅 and that I could have someone in my life who would see how hard I try,, and be proud of me, and make me feel like I have value outside of my achievements in life (or,,, lack thereof). And like,,,, love me for all the times I kept going even when it hurt. That would be cool,,,,
Me out here since 2016 trying to fix myself by fixing Saeyoung 💀💀
Literally even now I feel better than I did when I started typing this message having thought about him and how much I love him fjfjfjf
Kuz,,, there’s the catharsis in thinking about being able to say those things that i wish I could hear myself to someone else.
But then there’s the added layer of self-indulgent catharsis of being able to be like,,,
I mean, hey, Saeyoung probably *would* see you in a similar light,,, if anyone would be able to understand and appreciate those things in me, it would be him. :’D
We are,,, the pointing Spider-Man meme,,, but make it gay dhdhdj
And that shit is,,, overwhelming to think about.
Ahh the euphoria of loving Saeyoung Choi shdhjd
And,, imagining a world where he loves me back just as much,,,
That’s nice,,, :’D
Anyways. I don’t know where I intended on going with this. I feel like I’m just awkwardly talking in circles and not making sense.
And I didn’t mean to get as vent-y as I did there.
I guess I just was all tangled up in my thoughts about all this shit and wanted to try and articulate that side of why Saeyoung means so much to me.
And to have an excuse to gush about my precious little meow meow. 🤡
As usual,,, if you’ve actually taken the time to read through this mess. Thank you haha.
Wishing you the best, always. ❤️❤️❤️
Don't worry, I get where you're coming from.
I had the same experience, similar, anyway. I thought college was the way out and went like I was "supposed" to. I suffered for a long time as a child in an abusive, impoverished environment, and there was no way out but a single door that everyone sold me. Well, as soon as the door closed on high school, my body started to give up. I dealt with a single diagnosis at first, and then, by the next time Spring Break was around, I had two more issues that would nearly cause me to lose my life.
Being on death's door after you've fought so hard to escape is a sick joke, and it's hard to put that grief into words. I'm sure you know what I mean, though. You think you're getting out and then it feels like God is laughing in your face. As if to say, "You thought you were allowed to be happy and free? Ha! Sike!" Hitting rock bottom with those types of emotions is not fun in the slightest. I still feel grief in that way when a bad day comes along. Even if you're working through your feelings, a bad flare will make you struggle.
Being Disabled and Chronically Ill means you're in a perpetual loop of "I'm okay with this" > "I hate this" > "This is okay sometimes" > "Why is it that I'm being punished" > "I can't take it anymore" > "This is... okay. I am okay".
You cycle through acceptance, anger, grief, begging, and everything that comes with loss. We don't have to be okay with our struggles, you know? It's not something people can understand unless it's their experience. Sure, if someone close to you is that sick, you might be able to understand, but not all of it. It's something that can't be put into words. Sometimes, the hardest part is trying to get someone to understand that you won't get better. You will only get worse. It's not like a broken arm.
I want you to know that I've been there. Stuck in a bedroom for years and it hurt. I lost out on experiences because I didn't have support in the way I needed. I had to become my own doctor and advocate the second I realized the healthcare system latched onto my anxiety to blame for all my problems. I haven't had health care in years because America is a piece of shit, but I don't think anyone should be forced to become more intelligent than their doctor to save their life. Then, you have to act like you know nothing because if you know too much, they think you doom scroll health conditions online.
But, that's another thing. You get used to it. You shrug. Your pain is a 7 to an average person but to you, it's a 2. You get used to it. You just learn how to adapt. You forget what not being in pain feels like. I can't remember what it felt like to not have something hurt!
Mental health and physical health are other things. When you've got to deal with both of them, it's weird. You might have a bad day with a flare but your mental health is just fine, vice versa, or the opposite of that. If you're in too much physical pain to think, you're not going to think about your depression. You just sleep. God, one thing that did happen to me was that my compulsive hand-washing started to be something I did less because I physically couldn't get out of bed at one point and I just said, "Fuck it. I can't do it. It's fine."
Still have that issue but it's not what it was. It's hard to explain how these issues clash with each other.
Haha. Anyway, I get it. I know what you mean about Saeyoung 'cause I feel the same way about Saeran. I met the RFA in 2016. I was on the door of death, not knowing what was coming next, and they saved a life that day. I don't know where I'd be without this game. Everyone in the group helped me see a chance to live.
Saeyoung was one of the first, too. I love him like a brother because I saw my sacrifices in him. I'm like him in that sense. I would throw my life on the line to see someone else happy. That's not always a good trait because you need to protect yourself, too.
You can't always give to others. Sometimes, you need to be selfish. But, having him by your side to empathize with is cathartic, you're right. He gets it. He knows what you mean and he doesn't judge.
You love him because you see yourself in him. You know he's capable of love, just like you are, and you know that he's safe. He'd know that you're safe, too. He knows you better than you know yourself, and I'd dare say it's the same way the other way around. That's why it's easy to love him. You know he'll never let go of you. You know he'll always fight for you. You want to be fought for, you want to be loved, and you want a chance to be validated the way you validate Saeyoung.
I'd say there's nothing wrong with that.
I look to Saeran because he'd get me. He's been just as sick as I've been and I wouldn't have to tell him what's wrong in detail. I could just look at him with pain in my soul, and he'd know. He'd get it and I wouldn't have to explain it. He'd just hold me... like I'd just hold him at his lowest moment. I feel like loving him makes me a better person. It reminds me that I have to try to treat myself the way I'd treat him... and the way he'd treat me. He'd want me to see something good even at the worst, and that helps me more than a lot of things.
So, I'd say, if you feel low... think about how Saeyoung would fight for you and help that inspire you to fight for yourself. Because he loves you and he always will, even if the galaxy keeps the two of you apart from one another. If you feel a flutter in your chest, it's him, calling out to your heart with a prayer you'll smile again.
And just remember, talking about your grief helps. Don't ball it up. If you have to write something down to let it out, do it. Never hesitate.
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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years ago
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57 sternclay nsfw? i can see stern complaining to a stranger that his ex complained about how weird his kinks were while dumping him
Here you go! 57: “we’re fighting over the last box of half-off valentine’s day chocolate and end up in a “who has it worse” battle.
For being in a mountain town in the slow season, the seasonal candy shelves of the Kepler Walgreens are bare. Were it 10 am on Valentines Day, Joseph would be in a panic. At 10 p.m, it feels like yet more proof this trip is utterly doomed.
But he didn’t become one of the top agents in the Department of Unexplained Phenomena by being unobservant. On the top shelf, pushed towards the back, is a bag of Reese's hearts and a bag of M&Ms. Thank you, years of training.
Being six feet tall helps too.
He’s so locked onto his target that he doesn’t notice the other person in the store until their hands smack into each other en route to the bags.
“Sorry, uh, lemme just get these and I’ll get out of your way.” A voice as deep and sweet as summer honey reaches his ears.
“I’m sorry, but I was going to buy these.” He starts pulling the bags towards him, only for the other guy to grab them. Joseph glares; the man trying to relieve him of his last solace looks like the kind of lumberjack you see in recordings titled things, “Log Pounders IV” or “Bear Hunting.”
“Look, buddy, I really need these so can you, like, find some other bags?”
“These are the last two. And I guarantee I need them more.” As long as he keeps a pleasant voice and gives no ground, this should go smoothly.
“Unless you got dumped this month, I don’t think you do.”
“I got dumped seven hours ago.” He says through an increasingly tight-lipped smile.
“At least your ex isn’t tagging you in a bunch of photos bragging about his new boyfriend.”
“He can’t, because he probably only just got back to his apartment in the rental car. The one I’m now stranded here without.”
“Pfft, just call an Uber or something.”
“It’ll cost several hundred dollars to get home!”
“You look like you can afford it.” Brown eyes flick from his hair down to his shoes, “some of us have to use half-price candy to soothe our wounds. You’re probably staying at the kind of fancy B&B where they have complimentary booze.”
“I would be, except their was a fuck-up with the reservation. Which my ex took as proof this was time to end things, and is the reason I’m dragging this all over town.” He kicks his ergonomically designed, rolling suitcase hard enough that it bumps into his adversary.
“Better he gave you some bullshit reason than the truth, which mine was all too happy to tell me. You can have these when someone you tried to make happy tells you he thinks you’re ‘too soft’ and that if only you’d manned up he woulda stayed, whatever the fuck that even means.”
Goddamnit, Joseph is not about to lose this argument--and his candy--on top of everything else.
“I’ll trade you that for being told you’re: too exacting, far more uncool than your job implies, too anxious, too invested in your work, that your whole personality is flawed and, just for extra fun, that your kinks are too weird and no one in their right mind would ever want to sleep with you if they knew them ahead of time.”
The other man’s hold on the bags loosens. Then it returns, stronger than before, as he grumbles, “Please, no one’s kinks are that weird.”
“You have no idea what mine are.”
“Then how about you give me a demonstration, huh?” Lumberjack snaps.
Joseph's common sense finally catches up with his thirst for comfort and, apparently, conflict.
“I, I’m sorry, did you just offer to fuck me in the middle of a fight over discount candy?”
“I....” the man lets go of the bags, chuckles, “yeah, I did. Fuck, I’m sorry, it’s been such a shitty day that my mouth decided it was gonna do whatever it took to stay in that fight.”
Joseph laughs a little, slumping against the shelf, “I guess it’s nice to know I’m not the only person in town whose Valentine’s Day didn’t go to plan.”
“No kidding. Though, uh, I didn’t get dumped this month. It was three months ago. He did tag me in all those photos today though.”
“That’s so rude.”
“Not as rude as leaving your boyfriend stranded in the mountains.”
B-grade pop hits fill the awkward silence between them.
“I, uh, this might be way outta line, but I got an idea; if you buy the candy, I can take us back to my place and bake something with it. That way we can both enjoy it, and you won’t be stuck wandering around in the cold.”
He runs a quick is-this-a-serial-killer scan of the man in front of him.
“Sure. But just so you know, I’m opening the Reeses in the car.”
-----------------------------------------------------
“Feeling better?” Barclay, his host, wipes stray cupcake crumbs from his lips.
“Much.” He polishes off his second coffee-cocoa cupcake with M&Ms in the batter, lifts his coffee cup, “this place is lucky to have you.”
Barclay blushes the same way he has every time Joseph compliments his cooking, home, or taste in books. They’ve spent the last ninety minutes in the kitchen of Barclay’s small, A-Frame cabin, one of eight laid out in a half circle behind Amnesty Lodge. The cook explained that the cabins were for staff or long term residents, and that while the Lodge sometimes had vacancies, this week had seen them swamped.
The rain alternates between pleasant pitter-pats and drops that could kill a small bird, so Joseph is incredibly grateful to Barclay for giving him a place to shelter. When he thanks him, the cook shrugs with a little smile, “you shouldn’t leave nice things out in the rain.”
As they’re cleaning up the dishes, Barclay passes him a plate and says, “You can stay here tonight. If, uh, if you want. The couch isn’t much, but it’s dry and I’ve got a bunch of spare blankets.”
“That’d be great, thank you. And, um, thank you for being so nice to me, given how we met.”
“Eh, no one who’s in a Walgreens after ten is in a good mood. And, uh, it’s nice to have someone to talk with. I’m kinda the quiet one of my friends, and work is mostly calling orders and stuff.” He pulls the coffee pot from the heat, “can I top you off?”
“Yes, please.” His caffeine tolerance is so high a few cups late at night doesn’t mess with his sleep. Barclay is sticking with tea, something scented like cardamon and comfort.
They move to the couch that’s clearly been re-covered a dozen times, Barclay only getting up to turn on some music; delta blues, if Joseph’s ear is right. It’s not until the clock strikes one thirty that Joseph notices they’re sitting so close that their knees bump whenever one of them turns to talk.
“Okay, I gotta ask” Barclay’s brown eyes shine sweet and playful, “what exactly was so weird about your kinks that your dickhead ex went out of his way to mention them?”
He thinks a moment, scanning his body and noticing he’s more relaxed than he’s been in weeks, including all the times he spent with his ex. Something about the faint scent of dish-soap on Barclays hands, the gentle smile that makes Joseph certain that--for all his bulk--if Joseph told him to roll over and show his belly, he’d do it in an instant, the way he doesn’t rolls his eyes or shy away when Joseph talks, all of that makes him calm. Which makes him bold.
“Wait right here.” He hops up, grabs his bag from the door and pulls it over to the rug by the couch. All he has to do to reveal his secret is lift his pajamas.
“Holy fuck.” Barclay leans forward, “you really came prepared.”
“It was supposed to be a romantic getaway. I...we’d never used any of this together, but I hoped we might this time. It’s, it’s not his fault, I know my tastes aren’t for everyone, and we had plenty in common in bed. But he went through this whole thing where he said we should share our deepest fantasies. Apparently wanting to be choked is fine, but wanting to fuck Mothman is not.”
“That’s what this one is.” Barclay picks up one of the two dildos, black with lots of swirling ridges.
“That’s actually my dragon one. Um.” he holds up the ovipositor toy, “this one is supposed to be mothman.”
Barclay squishes one of the silicone eggs, “that feels kinda nice. What else did you bring?”
His genuine interest is not helping Joseph keep his hopes under control.
“The other toy is the ‘bigfoot’ model. And this is, um, this is my newest one, I was so excited I pre-ordered it. It acts like a cock-sleeve, but this part here is supposed to mimic a, um, a knot.”
“Like the idea of getting knotted, babe?” The cook’s voice is a little deeper than when he last spoke, and rather than pulling away he’s inching into Joseph’s space.
“Yes. I, um, I’m getting the sense” he shifts so his hands are on Barclay’s knees, “that we might have something in common besides our taste in leftover candy.”
“I packed all this so carefully” he brushes their lips together, “it’d be a shame to let it sit unused.”
Barclay scoops him into a kiss, growling happily when Joseph instantly parts his lips. His beard is soft and tickly under Joseph’s palms, and his mind takes the thought of getting beard-burn on his thighs and runs so far with it that he almost misses what Barclay says next.
“In that case, you better decide if you want me to open your ass up so I can fuck you with a knot, or if you wanna do it yourself.”
“I prefer to do it myself.”
A second kiss, a bit gentler this time, “bedroom’s at the end of the hall. Get naked and wait for me there?”
“Roger that, big guy.”
When Barclay growls this time it’s rougher, jumping out of his chest and seeming to surprise him.
Joseph undresses as Barclay stops off in the bathroom, rifling through the medicine cabinet while Joseph folds his clothes. He’s down to his boxers when he remembers there is a conversation he needed to have before it hit this point.
“You trying to get me to rip those off with my teeth?” Barclay grins as he sets some condoms and lube on the bed and starts taking off his pants.
“I, um, there’s something you should be aware of. We don’t have the same, um, set-up.”
Barclay furrows his brow, gets his meaning, then nods, “no problem. If you’re okay with that part of you being involved I, uh, I just got a really, really good idea for what to do.”
“It’s not always the case, but tonight I definitely want it involved. I want you inside me as many ways as possible.”
“Fuck yeah.” Barclay tosses his shirt into the laundry, “get your ass open enough to take that knot.”
He slips the condom on, douses it with lube, and presses the first finger in, discovering that he's unable to stop complimenting Barclay for even five seconds while he finishes disrobing. The flush under his dark chest hair is unendingly charming, as is the little whine he makes at Joseph telling him he likes how big he is.
“I, I’m serious, ahhn, it’s rare to find someone taller than me and I really like it.”
“Feeds into the monster thing?” Barclay crawls beside him, laying down so he can kiss him as he works the second finger in.
“In a way.”
A deep, rumbly chuckle that has Joseph fucking himself hurriedly, “Don’t be coy, babe. You like the thought of something big and hairy getting a hold of you and not letting you go until you’re dripping cum.”
“Holy shit, yes” he gets the third finger in, sighing as Barclay nuzzles his neck.
“Well, I’m not bigfoot, but I’m betting I’ll do just fine.”
“More than fine.” Joseph kisses him, feels him smile in a way that melts his heart like cheap chocolate.
“Got some other theories about you, babe, but you gotta wait until you’re on my dick to hear ‘em.” Barclay sits up, stroking his cock in time with Joseph’s hand, “fucking-A, can’t believe your ex didn’t wanna stick around for this. You look like a fucking porn star; we oughta record you getting fucked in your suit and sell if for big bucks.”
He moans, pulling his fingers free, “Fuck me now. Please.”
“Fuck that’s hot.” Barclay works the sleeve down over his cock, sits up against the wall, “come sit in my lap, facing away.”
Joseph straddles him, gasps when the head of his cock presses in. He prepped well, but all the same he has to take his time wiggling his way down. Barclay caresses him, grunting and whimpering whenever he moves, breath prickling the hairs at the base of his neck. It’s heavenly.
When he hits the knot, Barclay rubs more lube on it, but it stays outside of him as he grinds on it. Between moans, the cook manages to say, “want me to start the next part?”
“Yes, please.”
Barclay loads the ovipositor with the three eggs, praises Joseph for being a good boy when he spreads his legs to accommodate the head of the toy.
“I, I thought you had more you were going to tell me?” He tilts his head awkwardly to kiss Barclay’s shoulder.
“Uh huh.” Barclay slowly works the toy in and out, doing his best to sync it to the rolls of his hips, “I think you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t just want one monster; you want ‘em all.”
“Variety is, ohgod, part of a healthy sex life.”
“I don’t mean one monster on one day and a different one on another. I think you want them all at once.”
“Oh yes, oh! Ohohoh” he kicks his legs as the first egg pushes in, “fuck, Barclay, please keep going.”
“Whatever you want, babe.” He nuzzles Joseph’s hair, “that’s how I came up with this plan; seeing all those different dicks made me think you’d, fuck, you’d like me to pretend there was more than just me fucking you.”
Joseph nods, clinging to Barclays arm and bearing down on the knot.
“Can just see it now; you got yourself lost in the woods out here, go looking for help only to find a whole bunch of monsters waiting for you. Spend the rest of the night pressed into the dirt and leaves while every cryptid from, fuck” he bucks his hips, “from here to Canada had their turn.”
“Shit, shit” the knot starts pushing in, “y-you’ve got my number, big guy.”
“Yeah?” Barclay squeezes the base of the toy as he talks, causing the remaining two eggs to push their way in, Joseph’s body clenching around them, “you want a night where all your good for is being fucked, where if you beg for a break you get a bigfoot fucking your throat and werewolves cumming on your chest instead of them all mobbing you at once?”
“Shit, yes, YESohfuck” the knot enters him as Barclay shoves his hips down, “ohmygod that’s good, fuck, I feel so full, you’re so smart, this was genius, fuck you know how to treat meAHannnfuck, shit.” He holds on to Barclays arm’s as the other man fucks him with abandon.
“Oh I know, babe. Know I was fucking right. You wanna be claimed, wanna be owned, wanna be bred by a whole fuckin pack-”
“Jesuschrist” it’s hard to breathe at the pace Barclay sets, his body aching to cum but not quite able to get there. He squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing frantically at his dick as Barclay loses himself in the fantasy.
“You’d be so cute, leaves in your hair and cum on your chin, taking it all and begging for more. Good thing you’re so needy, you could tear a pack apart with folks fighting over who gets to fuck you, fuck, Joseph, baby, you’re so fucking good, gonna be so fucking good to you, fuck, fuck” he shoves as deep as he can while he cums, and in the haze of pleasure Joseph swears claws prick the skin of his chest. Just the thought of that sends his own orgasm coursing through him, his body tensing and twisting on Barclay’s cock, making them both moan from sudden overstimulation.
“S-sorry” Barclay pants.
“Nothing to apologize for, just physiology, here, let me ow, ow, okay maybe I should have relaxed more first.” He’s free of both toys, but that was right on the edge of too painful. He waits for Barclay to take off the sleeve, then rolls the bigger man so his head is on his chest.
“Your ex didn’t know how good they had it.”
“Thanks, babe.”
He smiles, “I like that. No one ever calls me something that informal.”
“Call you it whenever you want. Babe.” Barclay kisses his arm, “you can, uh, stay in bed if you want. We don’t have a ton of time together so I’d, uh, well, I’d like to spend as much of it with you as I can.”
For the first time, Joseph wishes his vacation would last longer.
“Agreed, big guy.”
--------------------------------------------------
“You said you had my new assignment, sir?”
“Yes. Agent Stern, you will be going to the town of Kepler to investigate the events described in this file.” Agent Hayes passses him the folder.
“Understood, sir.”
Joseph manages to keep his smile to himself all the way to his desk.
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udon-udon · 3 years ago
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So for the past few years I’m not really in any community or anything so I’m just really out of the loop and kinda just floating around which can feel a lil lonely cause it feels like I don’t belong anywhere or anything, and if feels really empty cause I’m not passionate about anything with people I know. I’ve made quite a bit more artists friends the past few years as well but it never went anywhere beyond that first few interactions in the group chat/I only interacted in a group chat (that are now all dead) I feel like I’m not acknowledged by other artists around me and/or I’m not good enough. I don’t draw a lot of fan art either so that plays a huge factor in getting noticed or joining a community :/ i also feel like because of this, ive been becoming/feeling more distant with existing art friends and haha seeing them become better friends with others makes me think that I’m getting abandoned :’) or this irrational fear that they hate me because of something i said or did that i didn’t know hurt them or something. I feel like I’ve also closed myself off more and more because of this, u know where you distant yourself so you don’t get hurt when they do leave thanks abandonment issues and then in the end I end up all alone, which I’ve come to brainwash myself saying “I’ll be fine alone, I’ll get used to it” but even if I do, I can’t help but feel envious when I see artists friends on Twitter tagging each other in art memes, replying to their art posts, etc etc. I get over it in the end cause I know that in the end it’s really all my fault for not trying to become close to other artists. You can argue and say “but udon, just get into a fandom then and start there” but I just can’t, It’s hard for me to get obsessed over things/get into things compared to when I was younger. Nothing strikes an interest in me anymore and even if it does, it’s not too deep or deep enough where I’d want to draw fan art (no:ze being an exception cause I’ve been really obsessed with her lately, but she’s not art/anime related). I started playing genshin but I already grew bored of it kinda after a week. I mean I’d still go on and do commissions even though I’m barely into the Liyue story line so I actually have a ton of content, but I’m simply not…. too interested. Also school needs me to worry about assignments so I gotta prioritize (which I still fail at) but god that goes to show how short my attention span is for liking things nowadays it’s kinda sad. Speaking of school, there’s just so many things to think about on top of these sadass feelings, it’s a lot. It leaves me no time to draw much lately, and I only manage to draw if I decide to prioritize art over school work, which makes me more stressed in the end cause I’ll have no time to work on them. I think I was able to distract myself from these feelings during the summer cause I kept myself preoccupied with making my VN, so I focused all my energy there cause I love making my VNs, forgetting all about my Sadness and Not Belonging-ness, but now that I’m done making it, I have more time to not be happy/not be able to do things I like. Also all this is probably my pre-period PMS talking as we all know, but I can’t deny that Ive still been feeling like this for the past few years. All I ever wanted was a close knit art friend group that I’m able to have fun with and chill with, and be acknowledged, and loved and wanted. I’ve had a few groups before, but they always end up becoming a ghost town or two of them getting into a fight and end up splitting up. Anyway, that is all I wanted to dump here to get it out. I know it’s still a problem that ultimately it’s up to me to fix for myself but idk when I’ll be able to fix it. Can’t it just miraculously happen one day pls. Notice me senpais (even on a serious post I still end up joking at the end to brush it off and not make things too depressed sounding which undoubtedly that is what I am. Which I’ve come to terms with and accepted that even though there are people out there doing a lot more worse than I am, my own depression isn’t something I should invalidate. But it’s still a work in progress. I need to start looking for a therapist highkey.
TLDR:
- udon feels like she doesn’t belong anywhere in the art community -she can’t get interested in things like fandoms anymore -shes distancing herself with her existing art friends cause she feels like they’re leaving her and basically just wants something she doesn’t have aka a tight knit artist friend group that won’t become a ghost town. -udon just wants to be noticed by other artists. -Udon can’t make long term close art friends. -Udon acknowledges her depression
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floralkittygambler · 4 years ago
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HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]
This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.
Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).
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[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).
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/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~
Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.
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nancywheelxr · 5 years ago
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Omg omg omg omg plz do a Uncle Peter and Uncle Aaron fic
“You did what?” Uncle Aaron rasps, hand still pressing tight to his chest and slightly out of breath, and his expression is somewhere between anger and disbelief. On the other side of the room, Peter throws his hands up, mouth stuffed with a bagel.
Yup. That’s about what Miles expected.
Okay, he should probably back up a little and explain.
*
So, look, there are the facts:
The body of Aaron Davis never reached the morgue. The vehicle containing his body was shot out of the road exactly eight minutes after it left the alleyway. No suspects were apprehended and Officer Jefferson Davis was ordered to close the case twelve days later after all leads had gone cold. 
That had been nearly a year ago.
Now, here are some more– mildly less believable, but hey, last year the multiverse kinda went bananas, so who’s Miles to call anything crazy, right? – facts: 
Three weeks ago a grumpy wizard dumped Peter in Miles’ backyard. He had a cool cape, though, that Miles thinks might have waved at him at some point? Anyway, there was this wizard, right, and he dumped Peter in his mom’s hydrangeas and then he told Miles to keep an eye on Peter because Peter had apparently been cursed and couldn’t stay in their universe for the time being? No, he did not know when he’d be back to collect him, and no, he would not be taking criticisms on his plan right now.
It had all been very strange.
So yeah, that was a thing that happened. Apparently, Peter’s universe had been attacked by a sorcerer and Spider-Man got the wrong end of a particularly nasty banishing spell. 
“It was not my fault,” Peter had said, head halfway into Miles’ refrigerator, “if the Avengers could keep their damn villains of the week out of my neighborhood, then none of this would happen– hey, is the chili still good? No, you know what, nevermind, it probably is, let me just check the milk–”
And that had been that. 
“ – and you know, Harry Potter over there, didn’t have to just dump me here,” except, Peter had seemed to want to explain thoroughly what happened first, “I bet he could have just waved his hand and be done with it. He fixed the whole molecular-universe-rejection thing, didn’t he? Sorcerer Supreme, my–”
Miles had kind of zoned out after a while.
*
Those were the facts, see, and all of them were out of Miles’ hands, that’s a very important thing to notice.
*
So, since, Doctor Wizard hadn’t bothered to stay to hash out the finer details before peacing out back to his dimension, that left to Peter and Miles to figure out where to stash Peter while this whole mess was sorted out.
It’s not like Peter has a functioning social security number or even the money to buy some real state or pay any sort of rent. Sure, they could go to Aunt May’s place, but whenever Miles tried to bring it up, Peter got that weird face on, that looked kinda guilty and like, infinitely sad, and Miles didn’t have the heart to suggest it again.
Besides, he doesn’t think it would be good for May, not if this took a while.
Somehow, that ended up equaling with Peter squatting at Uncle Aaron’s old place.
It had seemed the logical conclusion, at the time. No one was using it and Miles’ dad hadn’t wanted to let go of it, not yet. Privately, Miles thinks it’s ‘cause his dad still hopes Uncle Aaron is out there, alive. The lack of a body to bury does that, he thinks, and wholeheartedly agrees with his dad.
If there’s still a chance, Miles would take it.
Anyway. So, Peter had been staying at Uncle Aaron’s place and being an all-around sorta cool mentor while helping out Miles with the whole superhero gig. 
It had really been just a matter of time until his parents caught up with it.
*
Again, let the record show, that while yes, Miles had been the one to come up with Uncle Peter, it had been Peter that came up with the marriage thing.
*
Another couple of facts to keep in mind:
Fours hours ago, Miles and Peter had busted another of Kingpin’s research facilities. Inside it, handcuffed to one of the beds, they had found Uncle Aaron recovering from surgery.
According to his retelling of events, that had been his twelfth procedure. Kingpin had been the one to pay for the Prowler gear, therefore, Kingpin owned the Prowler. Kingpin does not throw away expensive resources– not even the ones who needed open-chest surgery, blood transfusions, illegal not-yet-tested drugs, and too many lung surgeries. No, Uncle Aaron does not know what he had been planning to do with him once he recovered enough, but he figures it would be nothing good, probably blackmail him into working for him again.
Bringing him back to his old place had also brought up the fact that someone else had been living there.
Which brings them back to:
*
“Why the hell would you tell them that?” Uncle Aaron twitches, glaring at Peter like he wants to bring out his gear to saw him up a bit, “of all the all the– are you an idiot?”
Miles cringes. This is spiraling out of control fast. “Look, I know this isn’t ideal–”
“You think I want to be married to a Supervillain?” Peter, having swallowed his bagel, screams back at Uncle Aaron, seething with righteous anger, “I’m not exactly having the time of my life here either, pal!”
“Okay, I wouldn’t say he’s a supervillain, exactly,” Miles tries to placate him, “more like a henchman, maybe? And he’s totally reformed! Right, Uncle Aaron? Right?”
It’s not a real question, exactly, Miles knows that moment on Aunt May’s roof had been a turning point for his uncle, knows the second he let go of Miles, the second that bullet his chest, he wasn’t a bad guy anymore. He couldn’t be, not when his nephew was Spider-Man. 
And Miles would be damned if he wasn’t going to give his own uncle a second chance.
Still, as soon as the words leave Miles’ mouth, Uncle Aaron seems to deflate. He sighs, running a hand across his face before motioning Miles over. “C’mere, kid,” he waits until Miles is sitting beside him in the dusty couch, the white sheet used to cover it still on the floor by their feet. “Yeah, of course I’m reformed,” his mouth still twitches in amusement at the term, then falls into a grimace again, “and I’m so fucking sorry for the things I’ve done, even more for what I did to you. If I had known–” he shakes his head, “not that it makes that much better– but point is, you bet I’m done being a bad guy. I’ll never hurt anyone again, alright, and I’ll never hurt you, Miles, I’m so sorry for all of that.”
“Hey, erm,” Miles swallows past a lump he hadn’t noticed growing in his throat, and looks around, panicking at the sight of Uncle Aaron– cool, laid-back, fun Uncle Aaron– close to tears and looking wrecked by guilt. His eyes meet Peter’s across the room and he looks about as uncomfortable to be there as humanly possible, but he still gives Miles a thumbs up, smiling kindly. “It’s okay, Uncle Aaron. I know– you can do better now,” he finishes awkwardly, not quite able to stop himself from hugging him.
After a long pause, Miles feels his uncle returning the hug fiercely, holding him like he’s not yet sure this is all real. “You really are something else, kid.”
*
It had taken Miles and Peter half an hour to unhook Uncle Aaron from all the machines and monitors in his cell, and Miles had cried silently at how sick his uncle had looked and pretended not to notice the blood trail they left from where the IV tube had been hooked at the crook of his arm– Uncle Aaron had looked about to keel over and any blood wasted on the tiled floor had seemed alarming.
Peter had taken most of his weight and told Miles to go ahead make sure the hallway was clear. 
Not for the first time, Miles had wished Gwen was there, if only to bully him into being less sad.
*
“Okay,” Uncle Aaron says, huffing a little after they both had regained some sort of composure– ha! Check that out, composure, his English teacher would be thrilled with him using fancy words. “We still gotta figure this thing out.”
“I want a divorce,” Peter demands, standing with his hands on his hips, “I’m sorry but this just isn’t working out, babe.”
“Call me that again,” he warns, glaring, “and I’ll whoop your ass, lung surgery or not.”
Miles tries to picture it– breaking the news of Uncle Aaron’s return to his parents then the subsequent divorce. That would mean Peter would be homeless again and no more excuses to be hanging around Miles. ‘Sides, Peter leaving Uncle Aaron now that he’s sick would not look good. That would definitely be a problem if they want Peter to be able to stick around.
Well, shit.
“You can’t,” he blurts out, shrinking a little when both adults whirl on him, “I mean, you totally can, but it would make it so much harder because how are we gonna explain why Peter is always around? And mom kinda already likes him? She sends him casseroles sometimes, even though dad still grumbles about it.”
Uncle Aaron groans. “Of course she does,” he drops his head on his hands, “this is a mess.”
“Rio’s casseroles are delicious,” Peter admits, tilting his head thoughtfully towards the kitchen like that’s enough to make him reconsider this whole scheme.
“And I know dad is like, still annoyed you allegedly didn’t tell them about this,” Miles adds, “but I swear he’s trying to be more chill–”
“Hang on,” Uncle Aaron looks up, for the first time since they rescued him from the lab, seeming less defeated. His eyes are almost as bright as they were before, alight with something gleeful. “This would annoy the hell out of your old man, wouldn’t it?”
Miles blinks, a sense of impending doom encroaching like an inevitable storm that has nothing to do with his spider senses. “I guess?”
“Say,” he turns to Peter, giving him an assessing look, “spider-hobo, how about we strike a deal?”
“Okay, first off, I was dumped in this universe without warning, alright, it’s not like they let me pack a bag first,” Peter scowls, crossing his arms, “second, what kind of deal?”
“You need a place to stay and an excuse for my brother not to arrest you,” Uncle Aaron smirks, and Miles thinks he knows where this is going but he’s not sure how he feels about it, “and I could use a hand to keep watch, I’m sure Kingpin’s not gonna give up so soon.”
And it would have the bonus of annoying Miles’ dad which is Uncle Aaron’s favorite past time.
This is so spiraling out of control.
Peter squints. “So you want a bodyguard?”
“So you want not to be homeless?”
“Fine,” he huffs, throwing his hands up and rolling his eyes, “we’re married now, I guess. Hurray.”
“Please, you should be happy,” Uncle Aaron sits back, stretching his legs under the coffee table, “you are married to me.”
That sends Peter into another inflamed rant. “Look, I’m a goddamn catch–”
Man, Miles groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. This is going to be a disaster and with his luck, it’s going to snowball into something huge before it bursts into flames. Again, he wishes fiercely Gwen was there, he bets at least she’d get a kick out of this.
Faintly, he hears Uncle Aaron ignoring Peter in favor to nudge his feet. “Hey, kid, do me a favor and don’t mention to your dad I cursed in front of you, yeah?”
Across the table, Peter snatches another bagel, biting into it with a vengeance.
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k8wetherall · 4 years ago
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Hi!!! recent steynie ask anon here c: i genuinely cant tell u how happy ur reply made me!! its 11pm and im responding to something u posted days ago now but who cares, anything in this fandom is sacred. Which I love, btw. Like this fandom is pretty small(at least compared to the size of other fandoms) and it’s kinda hard to find toxicity in it(idrk if im wrong but its been rly nice 4 me so far). I honestly rly wish i grew up w/ these books as a child like everyone in the community talks abt but im so glad I found these books and (even if rather small)fandom<3
With steynie,, I think it’s adorable :D i dont think they would have an overly romantic relationship or even date, just kinda,, acknowledge that theyre more than friends. I also just love the 2 of them individually,, and just pairing them up makes me happi c: sticky is kinda big comf/character simply bc he’s bald. It sounds dumb and it is dumb but ive wanted to shave my head 4 like,, a year and a half bc of gender dysphoria reasons(cant tho) and drawing a bald character legit makes me way happier than it should. even if he’s not bald bc he actually wanted that for himself ill forever love my no hair bb :,/ and w/ reynie?? god they r perfect. (i hc them as using they/them bc more comf reasons lol sry). I absolutely love how they r written, like, god i read this book in a few days but in that time it rly made me feel things. hdhdhd i relate to them so hard in so many ways- ive discovered quite a few ppl feel the same way i do any reynie aha
Anyway im sry this is a bit of a feels dump with no point. im just,, massive happi rn :-) iss okii if u dont answer this since there isnt much of a question to u,, It’s fine to me just knowing i got my feelings out to someone lol. I hope u have a good day/night bc u absolutely deserve it<333
Omg this made me SO happy this is the nicest ask in the whole wide world😭😭
Ok I love all of what you said so I’m gonna respond to all of it lolll
First of all YES this fandom is so small but tbh I like it that way bc genuinely everyone is so nice and chill. I don’t think I’ve had a single bad encounter with anyone in this fandom, and even though there aren’t that many people theres still so much high quality content you know??? It’s just so nice and cozy lol I love it here
(And btw I didn’t really grow up with these books either, I only just found them last year!! But hey better late than never lolll)
I love that dynamic for sticky and reynie!!! Just sort of not clearly defining anything but knowing they have some sort of special connection!!! I love it!!! And sticky being a comfort character bc he’s bald isn’t dumb at all!! (I’m using way too many exclamation points lmao I can’t help it) I hope you get to shave your head soon omg, but in the meantime I’m so glad you have this character to find comfort in!!!
And omg I love the headcanon that Reynie uses they/them. It just seems really fitting honestly I love it!!
I love asks like this so much omg please don’t hesitate to send them this made me SO happy!!! /gen
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itsleah728 · 4 years ago
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Perfect~ Julian x Reader
A/n: PLEASE READ! Hello everyone, I took a bit of a break for the holidays and such. I also have been quite down in the dumps, I get sad over dumb things like getting a zit or not liking what I create. I wanted to write this story to show that no matter what you do or how you look you’re not alone and there is someone waiting out there for you. That person may either be a friend or a lover but either way you’ll never be alone. Now I’m only young and haven’t truly experienced life yet, I’ve never even been in love only minor crushes but that’s a different story. Anyways I also wanted to write this because I wanted to try getting my love for life back you know? I haven’t even been creating art lately which is horrible because I love making art. Well if you read that whole thing thank you but it’s fine if you didn’t. Now onto the actual story which may be shorter than normal.
READERS POV. (1st person) I know I normally do 2nd person but I didn’t want to say “you” knowing that not everyone is experiencing things like this.
WARNING: This story shows self esteem issues and a fear of being alone!
Julian has been out working for a while now, which for me is never a good thing. Being alone leaves me with only my thoughts, my thoughts happen to be mostly negative. Ive never told Julian about what I fear or what I think because I never want to be a burden to him. He deserves someone who can brighten a room and cheer others up, not someone sad and insecure. People have told me not to be so sad over small things that can’t be helped but it’s harder than some people choose to think. In my opinion being happy is something you have to earn or something that you gain. Most of the time I silently cry myself to sleep praying that I don’t wake Julian. Night time is when my thoughts keep me awake, consistently telling me horrible things that deep down I know aren’t true.
Julian has been working for hours now and my breath slowly starts to shorten as the hours go by. A fear or being alone is what I have had sense I was young. I grew up being scared and stressed that I’ll get older and be alone but then I found Julian. He is always by my side and only leaves when he has to work, I don’t mean to sound clingy either but right when he leaves I get scared that he won’t come back. I could never tell him to stay home either because his job makes him happy and no matter what my fears say I won’t take away his happiness.
My fear for loneliness decreased as I got older and met more people but the reasons for my fear never went away. I’m so deep into my thoughts that I don’t even notice the door creaking open. I don’t snap out of my own head until I hear Julians voice speak up from behind me. “Darling, are you okay?” I jump in the air at the words suddenly spoken. I turn around to see Julian staring at me with a worried expression sketched across his face. I give him my best fake smile and pray he doesn’t ask anymore questions because I may just over flow. “Julian I’m doing great how was work?” Julian clearly doesn’t buy it but he continues on with the conversation non the less. I know he’s going to ask about it later though.
We continue on speaking about Julians work day until late that night when we decide to finally go to sleep. The sun decided to no longer shine and gave the moon its time. The light glow of the moon illuminates Julians handsome features as he wearily glances at me from the corner of his eye. He probably think I notice but he’s never been the stealthy kind.
He stares for a while more until his filter finally cracks, “Darling are you positive you’re feeling well?” I debate on telling him anything when all of my fears and negative thoughts start creeping in. I involuntarily let out a saddened whimper which puts Julian on high alert. He stares shocked towards my shaking frame until he he seemingly snaps out of it and gives me a bone crushing hug. He whispers kind words into my ear as I break down and start sobbing.
Julian eventually calms me down until I’m able to speak when he asks “tell me what’s bothering you please!” His voice is begging me to tell him what’s on my mind and I answer before I can even think about it. “Would you ever leave me?” I finally speak the one question that’s been tainting my mind all my life, I ponder for a moment and realize how stupid it sounds. I’m about to take it back when Julian almost screams “never would I ever even think about leaving you love, now what brought on these foolish thoughts?” “I-I I’ve always had t-these horrible thoughts, I w-was just scared one d-day you’ll d-decide to l-leave me” I manage to stutter out while holding back another round of tears.
I calm myself before speaking again, trying to explain why I feel the way I feel in greater detail. “I have always felt ugly, whether it be because I have blemishes or I’m too fat/skinny (either of these can be a reason for someone to be upset so I wanted to include both) I have never really liked myself so I put on fake confidence and try going with the flow.” I don’t dare look up at Julian as I take another breath to continue. “I have also always had a fear of being alone, I thought I would grow up and everyone would think I’m ugly or no fun and would just leave me. I sometimes get scared when you go to work that you’ll never come back.” By the time I’m done I am holding my breath and tears back.
All is silent before two arms wrap tightly around me. I feel wetness drop onto my shoulder as I realize I have made Julian cry. I gasp as tears start falling even harder than before. I then wrap my arms around Julian even tighter than his are around me.
We sit like this for a moment before Julian pulls back and wipes his eyes. “Darling I would never leave you and if you felt all of these things why haven’t you told me?” I sheepishly look away before responding with “I didn’t want to be a burden to you because you deserve better than that.” Julians jaw drops and he seems to get tense until he whispers “love, you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I love you too much to ever even consider leaving you.” I feel like crying again but manage to hold back as I mumble “thank you.” Julian slightly smiles my way and he slams me into his chest once again. He kisses my head as a wave of sleepiness washes over me, probably from crying so many tears. Julian lightly pushes me against the bed and says “rest now darling we can speak more about this in the morning.” I mumble a incoherent response as my fatigue decides to completely wash over me. The last thing I notice is Julian squishing me against his tall frame and me thinking ‘I’ll never be alone’ before the darkness takes over.
SORRY FOR THE KINDA SAD CHAPTER BUT I THINK IT HAD TO BE DONE FOR ME TO FEEL REMOTELY BETTER.
Check out my Instagram @its.leahs.art
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star-wars-multishippers · 4 years ago
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Get to Know Me(me) - The Members of SW Multishippers!
This was an event hosted on the Discord server to do a sort of re-introduction of both old and new joiners to the server. Everyone who wanted to participate filled out the survey below to share a little about themselves and about their faves in fandom.
Survey (for anyone who wants to join in below in the comments):
Who Am I? - Name, username on other sites, mini bio if you'd like Where do I fit into the SW fandom? - Prequels, Sequels, EU, etc. What do you do? Fic, art, lurking and reblogging? My Top Faves - 2 or 3 max please! My Own Stuff - 1 or 2 max please!
MBlair
Who am I?
MBlair both on Discord and on AO3, maggzblair on Tumblr (MBlair, maggzblair)
Where do I fit into the SW fandom?
Mostly lurker/reblogger/occasional writer, mostly Original Trilogy and Sequel trilogy.
Fics I Love to Rec
Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns (and associated fics) by chancecraz
Hand of Fate by sweetestcondition
My Fics I Love to Rec
Reyuxmas 2019
A Wonderful Winter on Hoth
I’ll Love You ‘Til the Suns Burn Out
feckyeslife
Who Am I?
Feckyeslife#2003 on Discord, firelord65 on AO3
Where do I fit into the SW fandom?
I'm pretty solidly a Sequels fan, but I have a special place in my heart for the Prequels. I'm a fic writer who dabbles mostly in canon universe AUs, what ifs, that sort of stuff. Primarily my fics have Rey with a tendency to focus on the First Order characters and plots.
My Top Faves
A classic Reylo fic from an old friend - Beneath the Facade. It technically has a prologue fic before it in the series, but this piece was the one that I really enjoyed way back in the EARLY days of Reylo.
Because I'm an insufferable Reylux fan, I have to rec at least one. This piece by @every-day-is-star-wars-day  a oneshot that ever so masterfully crushes my heart every time - Thread
My one Original Trilogy rec, this is a beast of a long fic but so, so good - Dark Times
My Own Stuff
Reylux, medieval AU - La Vita Primus - is the first in a small series of this AU
Reylo, TROS Fix-It - Oh but it's a dark future, my star. Oh but it's a soft morning for us soon.
apple-au
Who Am I?
Call me apple. she/her/hers. I’m gold_pen_leaps on dreamwidth, ao3, and pillowfort. @[email protected] on mastodon. I am doing my best to boycott tumblr, but I've been known to use a tumblr link embed on pf from time to time. (gold_pen_leaps (DW), gold_pen_leaps (AO3))
Where do I fit into the SW fandom?
I’m mainly into the Sequels and the Mandalorian. I joined the server for Hux/Kylo/Rey and all the combinations of the characters in my ot3. I can edit better than I can write. Sometimes I comment on fics.
My Top Faves
A Dance of Titans by @lucidlucy is a really long reylux fic. The delicious slowburn makes all the flavors combine in an amazing way. Love how they battle the main villain!
My Own Stuff
I helped give feedback on the second part of a series. Does that count? This is knight_of_dance's fic. It's really cool to see writers' takes on Modern AU, and this one has influenced my ideas of what sort of kinks those characters have. :smirk: Switch Up
Mizz
Who Am I?
 hi! tho im much more...a lurker around here im mizz (she/they/he). im badarmada on tumblr, badwrong-gimme on pillowfort, gimmemrss on twitter, badwrongprincess on ao3 (i have so many usernames XD, ive got a dreamwidth, wordpress, and art insta too if youre interested lol)
(@badarmada, gimmemrss (twitter), badwrongprincess (AO3))
Where do I fit into the SW fandom?
i liked the prequels as a kid (still do kinda), rouge one, i do like clone wars tho i havent finished it and the sequels (well tfa and tros tho only one of them is good imo) i reblog stuff mostly and read fanfic, tho i write some stuff too. finn is my fav and pretty much my center character (ie the one i focus on the most) and i like most finn ships (favs being finnhux, finnlo, finnrey)
My Top Faves
the things we do for love by glare is an unfinished finnlohux fanfic that i love a lot
worlds are built for two by synergenic (Losseflame). this is a poefinn fic from finns pov
My Own Stuff
um...im still working on this fic -(Be More Chill, Hux) very slowly this year has been super hard on me writing wise and ive been drawing ocs and for another fandom mostly but I will finish this one day!
Arsanimo - Marion
Who Am I?
Hi, I’m Arsanimo, self taught artist and nerd from Germany that’s mostly lurking. You can find me with this username on tumblr, twitter and instagram. I draw mostly Reylo at the moment. ( @arsanimo, Arsanimo (Twitter), Arsanimo (IG))
Where do I fit into the SW fandom?
I‘m in my thirties and an OT fan since birth, because my dad was obsessed with Star Wars and we watched it a lot as kids - they are the go to christmas movies in our family. Even as a very small kid I loved Vader. I didn’t like the ST quite as much when it came out in cinemas but still watched them multiple times. I’m much more fond of them now. But my love for Star Wars really got renewed with the ST. I really liked TFA and TLJ a lot. Not a great fan of TROS though, but to each their own. I recently started watching TCW, if you haven’t go watch it! The Mandalorian is also great and feels more like the OT for me, which I love. Oh, and R1 was awesome, I loved that one! Solo also was good. I think I will be a lifelong fan because it’s such a rich universe and everybody can pick a favorite. I’m also good at ignoring the parts I don’t like, lol. But I‘m mostly exhausted about all the drama on social media, so at the moment I take a bit of a break from social media and only post from time to time. And I’m of the firm believe to ship and let ship and if the art and fics are good, you can also find me enjoying ships outside of Reylo (honestly, some Kylux art out there, woah... and Finnrey is always so tender but Stormpilot has two hot guys in it... and don’t get me started about Finnrose! You probably get the gist)
My Top Faves
It’s hard to name so few, there are so many good artists out there. But Winter of Her (Twitter) has some outstanding art in her own style. Than I really like the style of Khallion (Twitter), check her out.
My Own Stuff
And last but not least two pieces of mine that turned out pretty good
https://twitter.com/arsanimo/status/1275789997426311173?s=21
https://twitter.com/arsanimo/status/1258757927910989825?s=21
Knight_Of_Cookies
Who am I?
Allo allo, I go by many names but many know me as cookies here. Lol I'm from the US and I've been a lifelong A+, gold star , nerd my whole life. I love writing among 5 million other hobbies. I am on Tumblr and A03. (@knight-of-cookies, Knight_of_Cookies (AO3))
Where do I fit into the SW fandom?
It all started with the prequels which I fell in love with and even wrote my first fan fic on. (I dragged it from fanfic.net to A03 for my own form of personal torture) I dropped out of star wars until I was in Japan and a close group of friends got me to watch Roque One and play a star wars based table top role playing game, which dumped me back into this fandom hardcore. I fell in love with the sequel trilogy and now I'm stuck forever. Lol
I have been writing on A03 for around 2 years now for star wars and it's been the most productive and progressive work I've ever done thanks to ya'll.
Also, hey, I created this multishippers discord, because multishipping rocks and everyone should do it. :P I know I've never active enough but I love this space and the people in it! My fav part about multishipping is how I'm always discovering yet another ship that is awesome. It never ends. ^^
My top favs - (of things no one should be surprised by)
Beastie by @feckyeswriting. It spawned a written series(multiple actually)
Glutton by Witchoil. Just very good dark and wonderful kinky smut. Always go back to this one.
In the house that skywalker built by @aicosu. This story got me into Reylux in a way I'll never recover from.
My own stuff
Nothing but Themselves - This is my favorite beast of a story I've ever written and it will be beautiful when I finish it. One day. Lol
Tanzaku - One of my most polished pieces thanks to the Reylo Anthology. My best combo of: insert culture nerding here and captive Ben as personal tropes.
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shannygoatgruff · 5 years ago
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My Brother’s Keeper - Chapter XI
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Genre: Psychological Thriller
Modern Ivar X Modern Hvitserk
Rating: MA+18
Overall Warning:  Dark story told from an emotionally distributed person’s POV with graphic and sadistic material including rape, terror, torture, kidnapping, drug use, slash, implied incest, necrophilia, and insecurity. Heavy trigger warnings.  
Chapter Warning:  Character devolving.Graphic sex. Torture. Rape Necrophilia.  Heavy trigger warnings!
Summary: Mama always said to be their brothers’ keeper. Now there is absolutely nothing these two won’t do for each other.  Boys will be boys…
A/N: This chapter might be a hard read, but it's supposed to be because Hvitserk is devolving. It's hard to explain without giving too much of the story away, but trust me, there's a reason for this. I hope I did a good job showing the struggle within the character.  
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Chapter XI
I don't remember this ever being so stressful. Maybe it's because we've never taken two of them before.  Well, we’ve had two in the same night, but never two at the same time.
I thought it was logistically impossible, but Ivar had everything planned to the letter. He's brilliant – a tactical genius. Just being able to think of every move before it happens, all of the calculated risks, even the reactions…if I could have his looks, charisma, and his brains?  I’d be the total package.  
Even though every part of the plan worked perfectly, there’s still something nagging at me.  All of this feels off. Of course, Ives says it’s because I’m just a creature of habit, but I think it’s more than that.  We’re doing all kinds of stuff that we have never done before. We’re breaking rules, making shit up…
I’m all for him being spontaneous, but for the first time since we were kids, I can’t read him.  Normally, we’re on the same page when it comes to this.  We know what the other is thinking by a look or a head nod – but right now?  I don’t know what the hell is going on.  
He came up with this plan and didn’t tell me about it.  He just did shit. Naturally, it worked out; it’s Ivar.  But, he just did it...without me.  
He said he didn’t want to burden me with the details, that I’ve been so stressed lately, that he just wanted me to sit back and enjoy.  I know and trust that he would never do anything to hurt me, and that he always has my best interests in mind, but it’s a little scary not being able to be inside his head. 
It’s empty when I can’t feel him. 
This bond we share, not as brothers, but as soul mates - being two life forces that are perfectly in-tuned with every aspect of each other…that feeling...he’s slipping away from me.  
Now, he’s doing shit that he knows I don’t like. Take drugging them for example – I’m not into that. There’s a big difference between getting high with someone and drugging them. When we get high together, they get to pick their party favor, sit back, and enjoy the ride.  It makes our night together so much more fun because we’re both in an alternate reality before anything ever gets started. It’s kinda like Star Treking through the Twilight Zone.  
But when you drug a person, you’re taking away their choice.  They don’t know what the fuck is going on.  They’re all spacey and shit, and I can’t tell if they really want to be there with me, or if it’s the drugs talking.  I need them to be able to make the choice. I need them to submit to me and not give up because they’re high.
I know I’m being a bitch about this.  He was just doing the best he could to make sure we got both of them.  I can’t help but to try to think that had to have been another logical way to do this.
I wonder if Ivar knows that I went inside their house last night?  I bet they didn’t know that their bilco doors weren’t locked, or that Ms. Johnson never fixed that cellar entrance from that time when we got in there to get some of her pills, a few years ago.  Hmm.
I was good.  I didn’t touch anything; I just watched them make love.  She is beautiful and the way she looks at him is enough to make me want to lick her face.  Her body is amazing. I could tell that from when she was standing in the back yard, but naked?  Dainty, pale skin, soft curves...she’s gentle and he was a little too rough with her, for my tastes.   
His body was the direct opposite of hers.  He’s got defined muscles, hard plains, tanned skin. The way he touched her, picked her up, slapped her ass...you don’t manhandle a woman as delicate as her, like that.  It took everything I had not to kill him right there. 
But she seemed to like it.  He turned her.  He destroyed a perfect, angelic being and turned her into his personal blowup doll. That’s why they had come.  I have to save her, and he has to pay.
So, what other choice did we have?  How else were we supposed to get them here?  Drugging them was the lesser of the evils, but fuck...this?  
If it was just slipping them something, I could live with that.  But what the fuck am I supposed to do now?  How am I supposed to go through with this if I know their names and their story? 
I seriously don’t think I can do this anymore.  I mean, I want to. God I really, really want to. But they're like real people now.
I guess it would have been a little weird to just take them out for drinks and not ask them anything about themselves. Well, I didn't ask, not really. That guy, Bishop…what did he say his real name was? Heahmund?  Like I gave a fuck. Well, he decided to tell us all about him and his beautiful wife, Aud. And because that shit for brains doesn’t like the natural lull in conversations, we had to find out all about how they just got married and moved out here. 
He's from up North and she’s from the back East and apparently, they met someone in the middle, blah, blah, blah...  I don’t care about their life story.  But I do care that their families back home are going to miss them.
Just talking to them was weird, too. Usually, people only talk to Ivar. But them? They were talking to me, like looking at me and everything. And the way Aud’s eyes twinkled every time she said, Fitz, it was like…wow.  I just wanted to keep hearing her say my name over and over again.  I almost told her my whole name, just to hear what it sounds in her mouth. 
I want to eat my name off her tongue.  God, that would be fucking amazing.
Maybe that’s why I started getting hot and dizzy when they got up to dance, and Ivar opens the capsules and dumps the contents into their drinks.  I just wanted her to say my name one more time, without being drugged. 
"Now!" Ivar's voice fills the cabin and pulls me out of my head. My eyelids feel heavy as I open them. My neck doesn't start to hurt until I reposition myself in this chair. From this new position, I realize that this guy is naked and handcuffed. He’s wearing the dog collar around his neck and Ivar is holding the end of the leash in his hand, practically dragging him around the room. 
But, what is that damn rattling noise? Wait, are those the leg shackles? Where the hell did they come from? I thought Ivar got rid of those things months ago. 
It hurts my neck, but I still strain it to look around them until I can find Aud. 
There she is, sprawled out on the mattress, her arms tied to the metal grates of the fireplace, and her legs are tied to something that Ivar has sticking out of the floor. What in the hell is that, anyway? Whatever it is it looks sturdy enough. 
I must say, Ivar's been doing a lot of work fixing this place up. He must have spent a lot of time here when I was out of it before. The lights in the ceiling work…they flicker but, at least, they're on. Most of the other shit has been cleared out, too. Between cleaning up this place and taking care of me, where does he find the time to do anything for himself?  I really need to do a better job of taking care of him.
Bishop’s muffled voice is weak as just before he falls over when Ivar puts the cattle prod to his chest. If only there was a way to make him understand that my brother would just as soon electrocute him for the hell of it - it would be in his best interest to just follow along. 
If dude thinks it’s bad now, just keep defying, Ivar. He’ll learn.
The sound of my chair leg scratch along the floor makes Ivar’s head turn toward me.  His smile splits his face in half and he offers me a wink. "Glad you decided to join us. You woke up just in time." Now that he has an audience, I know he is not going to hold back.  
Truth be told, I’m a little sad about that fact. I kinda liked them, Aud & Bishop.  It might have been nice to have some friends or possibly get to know some people that Thora and I could go out with as a couple or something.  I’d like to hang around some regular couples to see how they do things, get some tips on how to be normal.  Judging by how far things went while I was out, there doesn’t seem to be much hope for that now, though.  
Oh, well.  It’s not like I can do shit about it now; unless blacking out counts. That seems to be all I can do lately. That must be why I'm sitting over here in this lumpy ass chair in this corner, like a child on punishment.  I don’t even really remember what happened.  One minute Aud was sucking me off and her husband was calling for her.  Then I was sad because his voice was breaking my heart.  Next thing I know, I’m waking up here, just in time to watch my brother break my two new friends.  
"You with me, brother?  Come over here, you gotta see how cool this is.” Ivar's face turns from pleasant to harsh when looks back at Heahmund, "I told you to get over there and fuck her. Now!  Don’t make me tell you a third time." Did I wake up on planet Quaddork?  Ivar usually does the torturing, but now he’s going to use them to do it to each other? 
It’s a brilliant idea, but shit if I don’t feel bad about it. 
My legs are wobbly, but I make my way over to the mattress and I swear Aud's eyes remind of Thora's when she's afraid. Just the way she's looking at Heahmund to save her, like a kid who needs their daddy to protect them from the things that go bump in the night…fuck. Out of instinct, I kneel down and touch her bare her foot. Even if I can't help her, I just want her to know that I'm here. 
She's so scared, but I want her to know that she doesn’t have to be scared of me, “It's okay Thora. I'm not going to hurt you." I need to find her clothes. Her body is on display. Every man in this room, including me, can see her entire naked body.  This isn’t right.  She needs to be covered up, at least part of her, at all times.  When she’s naked, she becomes the parts and the reaction I need and not the woman that I want. She can't be like that.  Especially not here and definitely not around my little brother.
"If you don't fuck her, he will." Ivar's voice is harsh causing the tears to run faster from her eyes. "They think I'm fucking around, Serk. Why don’t you show Bishop, here, how it's done?"
I love Thora and I make love to her all the time. But not like this and I won’t do it in front of him. I have to keep something separate, something for myself. "Ivar, please.  Keep Thora out of this."
"Aud." Ivar has the leash wound tightly in his hand as he kneels beside me. He strokes my hair and whispers in my ear. "Her name is, Aud."
I nod my head, "Right." That is her name, Aud. 
Fuck Aud. She's not Thora. My hand trails her leg and when I reach her hip I hear a scuffle behind me. Bishop is trying to get at me. I guess Ivar’s trying to stop this from happening. I don't know how he managers it, but somehow he’s gotten the larger man on the ground and when he nods his head, I know what he wants me to do. I cover her body with my own and before anything happens, I remove the ball gag from her mouth. "It'll be over soon. I promise."
"Please help me, Fitz?" Her whisper makes my heart skip a beat. I stroke her hair back and focus on her face as she sobs her request. She's so pretty.  So innocent. Ivar doesn't understand, we have to protect the innocent ones. 
"It's okay, Thora.” I close my eyes as I kiss her forehead.  “I'm here.” My thumbs trace the side of her face and I wedge my hips in between her legs. 
I just need to look at her for a moment. I want to take in all of this innocence before I possess it.
I hear screaming behind me and it makes me turn around.  My brother looks satisfied, he must have gotten his way from the man in the collar. "If you want him to stop, you know what you have to do." He gives the leash some slack before yanking it down forcing the man to kneel on the mattress.  Holding his hand out to me, Ivar motions for me to come to him, "You'll have her soon, Serky. Let her husband have a turn."
As soon as her body is exposed again, I realize she's not Thora. She doesn't look like her; her body is not like Thora's. She's laid out and waiting for another man. Thora would never do something like this whore in front of me. Instead, she would be putting up a fight, trying to keep what we have sacred. She wouldn't betray me and lay with someone else.
"Heahmund?" She cries as he says muffled words into the bend of her neck, slowly positioning himself on top of her. He's taking his time, trying his best to stall. Little does he know, he’s just going to piss Ivar off more. I can't take my eyes off of them. All this human interaction is marvelous. "Just do what he says and he'll let us go," her words come out weak and choppy as she tries to reassure him.
"No, he won't," Ivar laughs at my statement. He’s squeezing my shoulders and cracking the fuck up like I just told the joke of the fucking century.  I have to admit, his laughter is making me start to giggle, "He's never gonna let you go."
She turns those hopeful eyes towards me and suddenly it’s not funny anymore. "But, you can, right, Fitz?”  Why is she nodding at me? Does she want me to agree with her? “I promise we won’t say anything.  Please, help me?”  
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ivar's boot come down on Bishop's hip. "I gave you an order, slave," his voice is so calm and even that it scares me.  I know that tone – this is the calm before the storm.  If this guy doesn’t get his shit together, Ivar’s going to get angry.  
I don’t even know to describe what it looks like when Ivar’s angry.  That time a few weeks ago, when he had a tantrum because he wanted to go out is nothing compared to when he loses control.  It’s like his eyes cloud over to this shade of blue that’s not known to man, and his normally electrifying smile makes him look psychotic.  That’s why I usually go into another room when Ivar works.  I love to see him happy, but I hate watching him become a monster.   
For my little brother to be such a beautiful man, his monster is so ugly.  I hate the way it twists his face and how it sucks all the good out of him.  It’s like he just becomes a black void, that can only destroy.  I know it sounds crazy, but when Ivar’s monster takes control, he’s so ugly because he forgets he loves me.  
Judging from the slow transformation in his features, I’d say Bishop’s only got a few minutes to get his shit together before Ivar starts turning, "Just fuck her, like you hate her." I don't know why I'm trying to help him. Maybe it's because I know what he's feeling. I know damn well what I'd be feeling if it was me and Thora.
Bishop pleads with her eyes and she permits him to hurt her. He's slow about it. He's trying to make it as pleasurable as possible, considering. He shouldn’t deviate from the script, just do what the fuck he’s been told. Oh well, I tried to help him. He's not listening to my advice, that’s just too bad for them.  Any and everything Ivar does to them now will be on his head. All he had to do was follow the rules. Just let Ivar be in control without trying to be the hero. Now it's his ass. Literally.
Without warning, Ivar shoves the cattle prod into him, causing him to push violently into Aud, making her scream. I can’t stop laughing at the fact that Ivar's going to shock him from the inside until he gets his desired reaction. 
"I said fuck her." He sends another shock to help coax him along.  It’s not until the husband is behaving like a good boy, does Ivar pat floor next to him for me to join him.
I trust that Ivar knows what he’s doing.  I’m sure that he wants me beside him, getting a front-row view because there’s a lesson here that I need to learn.  I’m just too tired and confused to concentrate on it.  My mind keeps wandering and I can’t seem to stay fully in this moment.  
As soon as my head lands on his lap, his strong fingers gently rub my scalp.  It’s almost enough to make me want to go back to sleep.  Only, I can’t stop watching this man fuck his wife with so much force because he's afraid to have me do it. I don’t know if I’m enjoying this.  It’s a little too fucked up, even for me. 
"Punch her." I didn’t even realize how heavy my lids were until Ivar’s voice broke my concentration.  He’s just saying the first thing that jumps in his head, now. I can tell by that boyish chuckle of his.  Sending another shock to Bishop makes him react like a trained monkey. Each time he sends a charge, Aud gets another punch to her face.  Each punch she gets, makes Ivar laugh. Every laugh from him, makes me wrap my arms around his waist tighter, and smile.
I can't tell who's crying harder, him or her...poor things. 
Ivar's entire body shakes under my head as he laughs, but he never stops massaging my scalp.  It’s the weirdest, most comforting sensation.  I wonder if it feels like that for him, too.  "Good dog.  Now, choke her." His Pavlovian response technique seems to be working because he doesn’t even need to shock this guy into playing out his fantasy. 
Without any more guidance than just Ivar’s words, a large hand wraps around his wife’s throat, but he’s not applying any pressure.  “That’s not hard enough to choke somebody,” Did I just say that?  I was thinking about it, but why did the words come out of my mouth?  I don’t want him to hurt her.  I like her.  I have to protect her.  If anything, I want to hurt him for hurting her.  But, maybe this was his way of trying to keep her safe.  Maybe by not choking her, he thought he was appeasing my brother and protecting his wife. 
The only problem with his plan is Ivar knows it’s not hard enough to cut off her oxygen supply. "I'm sick of repeating myself to you, dog. You will learn to do what I say." This time when he shocks him, he doesn't let off of the button. He sends the shock waves throughout Bishop’s body in a way that makes the muscles in his hand stiffen, locking around Aud's throat.
Those eyes. All of that innocence seeping out of those eyes with each tear that rolls down her pretty face. She was so beautiful. So angelic. Now she's nothing. Those large eyes are fixed in my direction, staring lifelessly at me, begging me to help her. "Thora?" I reach my hand forward but she doesn't respond.
"You see what he did, Hvitserk? He killed Thora." Ivar's voice is soothing as he tries to console me through my grief.  All the loving and coddling in the world can’t fill this empty void suddenly growing inside me.  I know what I need to do. This man was twice her size and he raped and strangled this beautiful, innocent creature. 
He is evil. "You thought he was your friend, Serk. But now Thora's dead because of him. He needs to be punished."
I stand to my feet in one swift motion and I kick him in the ribs. I watched him kill her. All she wanted was for him to protect her, but he was too weak to do that. Well, I’m not weak. 
He is going to pay for failing her. 
The cattle prod lands with a crash across the room and I'm inside of him faster than he can recover from it. "You like raping women? Do you like how it feels?" I pound into him ignoring his cries. My weight, on his back, lands him on top of her and he gently shakes her body to try to wake her up. "She's dead, fucker! This is your fault!  Why didn't you just fucking listen?" I grunt my words because I'm so angry. How could he let that happen on his watch? He didn't deserve her.
The leash is wrapped so tightly around my hand that the blood no longer circulating in it. With each thrust, I pull back on it until I start to hear the bones in his neck crack under the pressure. He can't die soon enough.
"That's it, Hvitserk. Just like that." Ivar coos from behind me, his lips gently grazing my neck.  I know that panting sound he makes when he’s jerking off. When I look over at him, I feel myself smile at the sight of his hand vigorously stroking his cock. The harder he jerks, the harder I thrust. It's like we're finally in sync again, pumping rhythmically with each other.
I didn't understand what he was trying to show me before, but now I do. People like Bishop, the strong ones, they deserve this. They are ones that the world bows to because they're charismatic and exude a presence that people like me don't have; they deserve to be taught a lesson. Ivar has shown me that I'm stronger than I think and that it's my job to let the rest of the world know my strength.
It has nothing to do with the act; this all about power. No matter how many muscles Aud’s husband has or how tough he thinks he is, I'm more powerful than him. She should have known that, too. She should have chosen me to be with, not him. They made the wrong choice by overlooking me. Now they have no choice, I'm the last thing they'll ever see.
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Bishop's lifeless body lies limp in the corner until Ivar decides what he's going to do with him. Right now, he sees fit to just stare at him while smokin a joint and listening to music. I, on the other hand, can't get enough of Aud. I don't understand how I could confuse her with Thora before. 
Maybe it was something I took before I left the house or maybe it was the helpless, innocent way she looked at me. Whatever it was, I’ve never met someone that could blur everything around me like that. For the briefest moment, I couldn't tell what was real and what was just in my head. Right now, though, being inside her now, I know the truth.
She feels just as soft and just amazing as I thought she would. She didn't see me before, but now she does. I've shown her more care and love that fucking coward she married ever could.
It’s because I need her to see that I can take of her that I can’t stop indulging in her. It’s almost like I need to show her that I’m worthy of the gifts that she's given me. She helped me get back my confidence. 
She showed me how to find my strength, and she gave me back my power.  
My new neighbor, Aud, saved me.
I want her to feel how much I appreciate everything she's done for me. Every time I cum, I'm hard again, just thinking about what freedom feels like. If I could figure out a way to consume her so she would never leave me, I would…I just don’t want this feeling to ever go away. I've already licked her; tasted her; bit her; cut her and loved her. What other way is there to make her a part of me?  
She drove the hunger away. It's not just fed, it's gone. She did that for me. She gave me a chance to have a normal life.
Aud sacrificed herself to cure me. I will forever be in her debt.
Kissing her mouth hungrily, I turn her head to have her eyes focus on me. "Thank you." When I roll on my back to look up at the ceiling, I notice Ivar's smiling face looking down at me. "Did you have fun tonight?”
I look at the hole at the ceiling before cutting my eyes back at him.  Rubbing my bare chest I start to laugh, "Ives, tonight was fucking awesome!”  Gently placing a hand on Aud’s thigh, I give it a light squeeze, “Thanks, brother. I needed that.”
“Of course,” he says, winking his eye at me, “I will always be my brother’s keeper.”
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drashleighreid · 5 years ago
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ugh i know i’ve made this post before but i’m honestly just in awe of how much and how quickly my studies/perception of my own abilities turned around last semester. like i’ve struggled so much with impostor syndrome and not feeling like i’m good enough or feeling less than. i’ve struggled a lot with my sense of self, especially through having adhd, i was the typical case of doing really well in high school and having rly inflated ambition etc and then going to university and crashing and burning (multiple times) i tried studying like 3 or 4 different things and ending up hating it/dropping out after a semester until i finally started studying film when i was 23. it kind of felt like a last hope for me like i even remember when i did my big 6 month backpacking trip before i moved to melb i was in toronto hanging out with my friend who was trying to convince me to get a work visa and move there and work with him and i told him i was thinking id go back to aus and start studying again but that id consider it and i remember he made like a flippant remark about me trying study again like it wasnt intended to be rude but just that he knew that id hated uni every time id gone lkjlkjsf and even when i started the course i knew that like it was kinda my last hope of getting a degree which had always been a big goal of mine, i felt shit about myself a lot of my best friends from high school had already graduated at this point and i just felt hopeless - and studying something creative after feeling for so long like it wouldnt yield a stable future was a bit of a ‘fuck you i’m done’ kinda move on my part too lol but even through the first year and a half (and even a smidge beyond that) i was battling back and forth whether to drop out and i cried about it to my therapist numerous times because i didnt feel good enough and that it was hopeless etc and that everyone else was better than me, more focused than me. i couldnt even sit through films without being on my phone bc my adhd wouldnt let me so how the f was i gonna work in the industry lmao ! it was so challenging bc i legit didnt know what id do if i dropped out !!! but i just kinda kept going no matter how miserable i was and how much i was sobbing in week 13 writing my essay or how much i felt like everyone in the course were making friends with each other but i had no one or how scared i was to share my ideas with people !!!! i literally felt so bad in every way !!! 
but like through small building affirmations things just keep getting better !!! last semester i pitched a concept for a 16mm short film and it was one of the 4 ideas chosen out of like 25 to be made and i had the most rewarding experience directing the project and made amazing connections with people and created something actually amazing ??? the teachers had almost no negative feedback for it and i got the best grade i’ve ever received lol and i made some rly good friends and got a lot of positive reinforcement from the actors and people saying that i struck a rly good balance with directing and that i was amazing to work with !!! but even after that experience going into 3rd year and beginning major projects i had reservations and felt really nervous because i didnt feel prepared and i was worried that people wouldnt like my idea or after only having written/directed for all of my projects so far i felt like i had to Perform again. the the impostor syndrome - though a lot more muted than before bc i have positive experiences to lean back on!! - was kinda there again like this idea that everything i’ve accomplished so far has been a fluke and that people are gonna realise im dumb etc. etc. lmao but like ! ive pitched an idea and people i dont even know from the course have reached out saying they love it and want to work on it with me and i have basically a full crew ?? just need someone on sound?? and we havent even had the class where we have discussions about it and talk more in depth, thats solely based on a less than 2 minute video pitch and ive had so much interest !!! and it just feels so nice !! like i know this isnt the end, we still have to get greenlit by the panel before it will move ahead to production but its just so validating to have people behind you who show interest and passion toward ur ideas !! 
and ive been chatting to other people about ideas and their film concepts/chatting about helping out with other roles on other films for ppl bc u can do that and id love more hands on experience on sets so im trying to get into sound design and production design bc like no ones gonna hire a film student grad as a director kljlkjsf you gotta be a worm ! 
but like basically this is a really long winded way of saying that i cant believe people actually really value my ideas and my vision and feedback. i got this message from one of the most intelligent people i’ve ever met and like... just two bros being in awe of each other... cleansing 
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honestly like !! if you read this far wig go off !! i havent done one of these long winded feelings dumps in a long time but its like good and positive feelings moving forward, even in social iso i feel so connected and wonderful. peace n blessings love u all. chase ur dreams and dont give up !! @ past me and at all of u out there !!  its gonna be ok keep going u got this bitch !!! 
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horrorfilmadddict · 4 years ago
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Anyway, here I am really bothering you and not leaving you alone, aren’t I?
I wrote you this letter from the bottom of my heart. I hope you have the patience to read it, sorry it’s long. Anyway I hope you look back on this letter and know my intent was pure and with love. Tell you what I really feel. What my heart tells me.
Dear Sue,
I write you because hell, might as well put my thoughts to “paper”. No one knows about this page except you.
Sooooo when it comes to us, or just women, the way it goes after you get dumped or put down is
I shouldn’t care anymore, right?
I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable if you have moved on from me. It’s just you have to empathize with me. My heart was ripped out of me.
I wonder how you’re doing, do you miss me as much as I miss you. Do you still think about us, the butterflies, Do you still want me as your man, haha stupid questions I know. Ive been getting by with henny and romantic comedies haha but hey again the whole us blowing up was my fault. I do hope you’re doing ok mentally, spiritually, emotionally. Truly I do wish for your well being. I’m just relieved I didn’t break your heart, again, better me than you.
I miss my dream catcher, it hurt like hell giving it back and the Disney tickets. I didn’t do it to hurt you, just spare myself of seeing them and thinking of you. You once or maybe several times, told me you always think of me. And now You really do cross my mind a thousand times. But anywho I hope my t shirts get put to use btw not as cloth rags 😂😅, along with my hoodie. Better uses than my birthday gifts, little mike, red bag and all, pennywise, alll in the back of a car, hidden in shame or just not treated kindly in my opinion.
I feel what drove you to end us was me not paying attention to the anger issues. Me, making excuses would say, you should’ve sat me down and stressed the danger of pushing you away, causing you to do some fucked up shit. But I was dealt Karma. I am a hypocrite to complain, since I did the same to you but I hope the caring you will see what massive effect your decisions made.
I also see that you dealt with a lot of internal conflict, feeling like I’d only want to change when you’d be leaving. I didn’t mean to make it seem like you were stuck in a bad never ending circle, i did make it feel that way, nothing hurts more to see someone you love do that to you. Again another mistake on my part of not realizing you were leaving, hurtin due to that type of attitude and behavior that came from me.
You are such a big positive force in my life. You are. Which is why I made bucca a big deal, I know it was extremely unfair since it was my fault we couldn’t hang long but thinking back you probably didn’t say yes to being my girl because you already were someone else’s, that kills me, that’s why I felt so betrayed by you. I mean I was in shock, just thinking why would you do this to me, pretty traumatizing. I feel your emotionally unavailable stuff was all a fat lie. It’s killing me inside why you didn’t just sit me down like a human being and talk to me.
Nonetheless you’re a special beautiful woman that I love for her smile, her jokes, her dorkiness, ability to no matter what is going on, be worried about me, how I was doing, feeling, no matter what troubles you were going thru. One of my favorite things about you is your ability to sing, that truly melted me, the idea of riding in the car with you and singing, expressing ourselves through music. I really did drop the ball with you, I have to live with that, the reason why I’ll hold on to you for as long as I can is because of what you mean to me now. However I do know Eventually emotions fade and memories with them so eventually we will truly fade away. If you haven’t already.
But still this was out of left field. You are a sweet heart and I think you already know that. You’re ability to stand by ppl you love, obviously not me 😅but the way you stand by Ana as her support even if she doesn’t match your love for her, she does love you and I pray she does come around because man she’d take a fat L losing you, or with Emily, the way you spend quality time with her as your friend. Little things that have big meaning and are easily overlooked. But yet you find ways to make ppl feel special before yourself.
You are an amazing, beautiful woman and I mean it. The sooner you see it, the sooner it will help you feel like you should be happy to be who you are.
Ever since that day I have been at a loss for words. You’d probably say it’s dramatic but I’m living with a void in me. What happened? When did I lose you, I guess that’s the point of feelings huh, you don’t see them coming. I had no chance to fight for you this last time. In a way I hope the time away from me, really really clears your mind and heart so you can see if you really did love me, and maybe you have a good good explanation for yourself as to why you did what you did even though not two weeks before had you said “ i hope you still love me” “te amo”. You can lie to me. But not yourself. For me as much as it hurts to think of you not choosing me, that’s what happened. And if hes what you truly want, I can live with that.
I often think about all the times I’d ask you are you sure you still want this. And I break down mentally just trying to find out why you’d say yes but then play me. Don’t get me wrong It was a lot of work to work on us with me however I feel I was on the verge of getting that down, like I understand it was far from perfect but did I make you feel loved I wonder. Probably fucked up too much for you to say yes.
I was only about you whether I was upset or not. I thought I was mending all that tbh. Somewhere along the way your words really had me thinking I was loved like I never have been but your heart was wanting another at the same time. Haha I’m all worked up because of what I thought I meant in your eyes. It really was like hey you’re enough and I want this to work. And so I took ALL you said to me to heart. Which made the heartbreak that much more painful, I’m glad I didn’t do that to you because, the guilt would kill me, what I did with Daria and you still does. I still have the crying clip of you, after I left bby.
I wish you’d talk to me about it, I really do, for you to just show respect for what was there, for your words of I love you, cariño, Habibi, that you said to me. Honor their memory just give me true closure. I can leave you alone, never speak to you again. Drop off a map and disappear you’d literally never hear from me again if that’s what you really prefer. But if not and communicating was an option, I’d want to know where I lost you. If it makes you feel a tad better I feel once it sinks in that you are gone, and the emotions and memories fade, I will truly leave, disappear to become an insignificant memory by my own action just to give you peace, ya know. Do right by you for once.
But for as long as the emotions and memories last in your heart I’ll take pride and hope the sunflower really sticks, it’s a symbol, a memory. Every time the song comes out I do think about you, makes me wish I was miles and youd be my white girl, mi hermosa guerita. Sounds juvenile but I really was excited to teach you more Spanish for when you’d meet my family. How sweet, a thought. Those are priceless. Hope the song brings you positivity on your path. You’ll go far with make up and doing hair. I still think youd make a great YouTube horror movie channel host.
I do love you, make no mistake about that. I will for as long as that fire burns.
As cheesy as it is, you made me feel like the hero or the lucky guy who gets the girl like miles here. I believe in my heart I coulda done amazing by you, I know a version of me has to be out there In an alternate reality where my dumbass got things right, fuck this sucks, for me of course lmao 😂 you do seem to be doing fine and I’m thankful that you’re loved and still loving someone, it’s a special gift. Just make sure you never use I love you carelessly like with me.
If I had the chance to do it over again I would, never hurt you and let your love complete me, help me feel not alone.
Ps: the app shows my edit in a better way
You changed my life for the better by showing me what a woman is capable of, what you bring to those you love. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say my guard is fully up yet again and I’m afraid haha afraid to let anyone, ANYONE in. I thought I was safe with you...
You’re with me in my heart. lol kinda sounds like Tarzan huh
Well uhhh gtg 👋🏽
*g lock handshake
I really am sad and sorry we just ended the way we did, no talking, no hugs, no last kiss. I miss you Habibi, I do. You were my Disney princess. 🌻
Well with that long ass letter, I leave you here. Probably, it seems for good , soon I’ll delete my social media and I’ve already started looking for another job. So while my heart will be spoken for as long as it chooses you, I won’t be around anymore, too painful and this is the first time I’ve had my heart broken, like truly.
So,
Kenzy Sue Schumacher
ich liebe dich
Quizás en otra vida
Love,
Your cariño
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Ps: Someone actually read the entire thing and liked it lol hashtags huh
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blkmxrvel · 6 years ago
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Emergency Room
Pairing: Margot Robbie x Fem!Reader
Words: 1, 484
Request: Since it's your first Margot story maybe start out with something like the first time Margot and the reader meet/flirt? Or maybe a story about their first date? Or maybe they're already a thing but the reader is gonna ask Margot to be her gf? There's some ideas :) I'm sure you can make it super cute!
Summary: You bump into Margot on your way from school, but instead of asking for a picture or sneaking one (you know how she doesn't always want to take them), you ask for her autograph. She gives you both, ..... and a little something extra.
Warnings: None, surprisingly. Just fluffy stuff. Not edited.
A/N: Dont mind the ending its terrible. i tried to make this a brain dump, but the way my brain works... no ma'am. I’m sorry this is so bad, i haven’t been in the best mood to write lately, so this is really forced and really bad. Just to get me back into the habit. I always said I wouldn’t be the cliche this relationship is moving way too fast writer but here I am. Enjoy :)
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Walking through the streets of New York was something you always enjoyed. Being able to be lost amongst thousands of other people, scanning faces and you strolled with your hands in your pockets and headphones in your ears.
Today was a fairly normal day, you had woken up, gone to class and now you were on your way home. You didn’t get much sleep last night though so your brain was pounding inside of your skull. All you wanted to do was go home, eat, and sleep the day away. You were sure there was nothing that could change that.
You decided to walk with your head down, a bad idea, you knew, but the bright life of New York City was starting to make your headache worse.  You couldn’t walk with your eyes closed, so this was the next best thing. You had gotten lost in the music, subconsciously walking to the beat. Your head bobbed lightly despite the pain that continued to get worse.
Suddenly, your body had collided with someone else’s, sending you to the ground and into a few more people. Your phone fell out of your pocket, your headphones going right along with them. A chorus of “hey’s!” “watch it, dude!” and “what the fuck!’s were thrown your way.
You screwed your eyes shut, the noise and lights almost making you cry. You tried (and failed) to look for your phone, sighing when you couldn’t find it. Someone must have grabbed it.
“Oh my God!” A voice rang out behind you. You had heard that voice before, you were sure of it. A hand was placed on your shoulder, tapping lightly. “Here let met help you up.” Grabbing the hand, you stood up, giving a small thanks, not even looking at the person. You could it was a woman based on the voice and striking accent, she was behind you.
You looked around on the ground a bit more for your phone, but to no avail.
“Oh! I’m so stupid, you must be looking for this. It flew out of your pocket and I grabbed it before anyone else could.” That voice sounded really damn familiar. You turned around, eyes nearly popping out of your head when they made eye contact with the person you bumped into.
“I- You’re- What!?” Your face felt hot and you knew for a fact it had flushed. Your hands got clammy and your heart raced. “Margot Robbie!” Seeing her flinch and her eyes look around her, you felt guilty.
“Sorry.” You said in a more hushed voice, then you started to whisper. “Margot Robbie! Oh my god I can’t believe I just bumped into my favorite person ever!” 
She laughed, holding your phone out to you more. You took it from her, cringing at the cracks that ran through out your entire screen.
“Sorry about that.” She said, nodding to your phone. You looked up at her once again and you were floored.
She was a bit taller than you, but you could see the way her eyes glistened as they looked down at you. Her hair blew almost expertly in the wind, little stragglers from her ponytail framing her face. She was just in a simple jeans and hoodie, but boy was she pretty.
“No it’s okay! Don’t worry about it, I get a new one in a year anyways.” You placed your phone in your pocket. “It was my fault anyways, I should’ve been looking.” The headache almost became unbearable, making you clench your eyes shut.
“Are you alright?” She stepped a bit closer to you and placed a hand on your arm, eyes scanning over you. Your breath caught in your throat at the sudden closeness of your idol. But you got it together.
“Yeah! I’m fine.” Your voice was wavering. “I’ve had a headache since earlier and I might have hit it on the ground a little but I’ll survive.” Her eyes squinted and you looked away from her, trying to ignore your head.
“I don’t believe it. You look to be in more pain than that. Let me take you to the emergency room, please. Just to make sure.”
Your eyes immediately opened and looked at her. “No! I couldn’t possibly do that to you. You have much better things than to be doing. I’ll be fine.”
“Please it’s the least I could do.” She looked at you and you looked at her. Your heart was still racing and you felt like you could pass out at any minute. You weren’t sure if it was from a possible concussion or the fact that the woman you were so obsessed with still had her hand on your forearm and wasn’t moving it anytime soon. Either way you knew you weren’t okay.
“Fine, fine.” You relented. Hearing her light triumphant chuckle and seeing her smug smirk may have dulled your headache a little bit, but you weren’t sure. 
“This was not how I imagined spending my day.” Margot sat in the chair next to your hospital bed. The ride to the hospital was rather interesting. Margot’s driver was more than happy to drive, (it was his job so he didn’t really have a choice), but throughout the entirety of the ride, Margot couldn’t stop....touching you. 
She didn’t know what was wrong with her, it was like she had an itch, and her hand on your arm on her shoulder on yours was the only way she could scratch it. She wasn’t really sure what had gotten into her. A crush on a fan? That was something unheard of.
“You’re telling me. Who knew that concussion’s were so disgusting. My stomach still doesn’t feel right. I’m supposed to be at home, sleeping right now.” You sighed, throwing your head back and closing your eyes. 
“So you aren’t happy to see me?”
“Not what I said. Like I said you’re my favorite person in the world.” You laughed at yourself. “It would be my luck to literally fall in front of you. Can’t say I’m the most surprised.
Margot laughed at that, keeping her eyes on your profile. You looked so serene, in a way. Sure you had a bandage wrapped around your neck, IV hooked into your arm and hospital gown on, but she was still taken aback at you.
“See? It’s not all bad.” She sat back, still admiring your features when the doctor came back in.
“Alright,” He said as he came to stand next to you, your eyes still closed. The room way dark, to help your headache until the morphine kicked in. “Your x-rays look good, no bleeding, a little bit of swollen but that’s to be expected.” He went to go wash his hands and grab a light. He looked to Margot.
“She won’t be able to run, jump, eat anything too heavy or do any fast movements for about a week or so.” He stood over you, holding the light to your eye and flashing it back and forth. 
“You've got a great girlfriend huh?” He said as he switched eyes. “I know this trip will be one for the books. Make sure to get something to capture it.” Margot choked on air, coughing to relieve herself. A light blush came up to her cheeks.
“Definitely.” She mangled out.
“Okay! You’re all set. I will have a nurse come back with your prescription and discharge papers and you can go. Be careful.” He said to you before turning to Margot. “Take good care of her, Make sure she gets what she wants. Have a good evening.” He stepped out and you immediately went into a fit of giggles.
“So....Now that you’re my girlfriend and all, how about an autograph? I’m just following doctors orders.” You tilted your head towards her, smiling groggily. Your eyes here halfway shut and your lips relaxed. Margot’s heart jumped.
“Autograph? That’s a new one.”
“Well, I know you aren’t that fond of pictures, and I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” Her heart jumped at that one too.
“It’s alright, for you I’ll give you three things.” She leaned forward in her chair. “You live in New York, right?” You nodded.
“What three things?”
“A picture, an autograph, and my number.” You didn’t mean for her to hear your gasp, but you weren’t Wonder Woman.
“Okay,” You tried to sound nonchalant. “That definitely works. But why the third thing?”
“Well you know, now that you’re my girlfriend and all, I have to make sure you’re okay and doing what the doctor says. Plus I owe you a new phone and a proper meet and greet.“ She smirked, and you kinda sort got what she was hinting at, but you didn’t wanna push further just in case.
So you forced your heart to calm down and nodded your head.
“Doctor’s orders?” You smirked.
“Doctor’s order. Gotta give you whatever you want.”
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dndfuckhouse · 5 years ago
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Session 19 - your majesty, i present to you the vengaboys
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> 🎵  Pianissimo Epilogue / Silent Hill 2 OST
Returning to our tale, the group have all found respite in Vorde’s temporary abode in Shorewater, resting up and recovering from the night's events. Soon morning comes, though with the curtains shut as they are, it's a bit hard to tell that it's now daylight outside as they all slowly come too.
Peering about the group dont spot Vorde about, supposing he’s still in his room. Feeling a hankering for breakfast, Keva and Psalm wander over to the small dining table in the room and the fruit still piled upon it, chowing down. Psalm continues looking at the tome they stole yesterday as he does, continuing to copy runes and scan for any more information as he does.
Keva: keva is cuttin up an apple into slices with a small knife, giving some to amos and setting some aside and occasionally eating a slice Psalm: i'm just cooling at this breakfast table
Rokka begins his morning stretches, Finn sees this and decides to join him as well, Han watches and secretly does her own stretches, trying to not seem as if she wants to join in.
Plum: WHY Han: issues ! Plum: LMFAO Rokka: did our near death experience not bring us closer
In the meantime Plum and Cimmorro prepare their spells for the day, either via quick study or short prayer. Seemingly done with her stretches, Han comes over and joins the two at the dining table to eat (she hoards some of the food after everyone's had some). As the group go about their activities Orin eventually ambles out of him and Finn’s room somewhat drowsy, he takes a seat at the table next to psalm and takes a bite of an apple.
Psalm: good morning orin Rokka: i am crushing an apple in my mouth whole Orin: "mornin'" he looks like hes about to continue but rokka eating an apple whole makes him go : 0 though he quickly sneaks one of Keva’s slices after. Keva: an apple a day keeps the Chip: cult away Psalm: CLEARLY IT DONT
Han heads over to the window to the balcony briefly and opens the curtain ever so slightly to peer outside, looking down she sees the fenced garden of the building, a few birds flitting about in the branches of trees. Craning her head to try and look at the street she doesn't see anybody around. Out of the corner of his eye Finn sees Han move the curtain slightly and quickly becomes on edge before realising all is fine.
Finn: 
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Han: LKSAD;LKHFLKHAWEFDS Finn: grimaces @ han opening the curtain and moves slightly. Chip: like a cat Finn: yes! Chip: fur raised Finn: KHJSHEJEHLJ
After a time the group hear some shuffling from the door Vorde disappeared behind last night, it slowly creaks open revealing his form. He walks out and looks about the group of them idling about and rubs his eyes turning and walking to the dining table to also grab an AppleTM, he doesn't sit down though
Han: i am 100% imagining this strained awkward silence Psalm: is he gonna crush it in his bare hands, BAROK VON VORDE... Finn:😳 Han: chip what did we watch dgs FOR Chip: NO
Finn: "morning uncle" finn stares kinda wondering why hes not sitting down but thats not gonna ruin his day Vorde: "morning finnian, i hope waking during daylight hours isnt too much for you" his eyes look sleepy as he speaks Orin: orin swallows his apple and speaks up "take a seat boss!" Vorde: he shakes his head in response "need to stand for a while for the blood to return to my legs" Finn: finn cant help but smile at that and responds "mm not exactly pleasant but i can manage. did you stay up?"
As the two chat Keva takes the moment to go take a quick morning bath, bringing Amos into the bathroom with her to give him a clean as well. Orin watches her take the rat into the bathroom with a face of confusion.
Vorde: "good to know" he pauses "hmm yes, I’ve been working through the night on how to present our case to the royalty, im going to be needing you all to speak as well once were before the court, merely on the things that prove you weren't responsible for the assassinations. We've the evidence to back up our claims so im not too worried. Of course if the royalty calls upon you you're each to respond in kind as well.” Finn: source: trust me Han: han hmms
Vorde seems to stretch slightly after finishing his apple and finally takes a seat at the dining table with the others, crossing his legs as he sits. 
Vorde: “My plan is thus; gain entry to the palace and an audience with the royalty, once there reveal the truth that the Red Letterhead’s machinations are the true cause for all this strife and go from there, i intend to warn them that Theyord’s apparent plans are about to be put into motion soon as well” he glances back over at his room “i will be presenting and handing over the items we have procured this far, including the tome" he glances at you psalm "hopefully it will be proof positive enough, should the archmage be around she won't find ive anything to hide on the matter”
He takes a quick sigh and rubs one of his eyes “I'm not sure what the royals will decide after that, I imagine they will put further efforts in place regarding the protection of the city and its walls, they should in anycase. If we are free to walk after we can investigate madam Shelly Carter’s lead after, perhaps we may request aid for the task as well, though I'm sure they will be hard pressed to spare much after such a threat to the city has been revealed. They’ll want all hands on deck”
Finn: finn nods and just thinks "man my uncle is so smart and cool. what a solid plan." Cimmorro: 🤨 Plum:
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Han: a lot seems to be hinging on the royals kind nature Vorde: true, they arent benevolent but i dont think they're idiots either. It would be hard to ignore the items we've gathered. As well as the presence of a time limit Han: .... not that we have a better plan, but were i in that position, i just throw us in jail, less loose ends Psalm: Here's to hoping they don't just jump to conclusions hm? ^_^ Han: "what might we think to do then" said at the group kinda Plum: dunno, never busted outta jail before
The group decide that if worse comes to worse they’d prefer to try and figure out a plan to jailbreak themselves rather than resist the guardsmen and die trying. They also bring up the fact that they still currently think the mayor and Vinny are still compromised or under Theyord’s influence, and to keep it in mind. Keva leaves the bath around soon after and rejoins the group discussion.
Vorde: he continues, blinking slowly “hmm yes i forgot to specify, we are going ahead with the prisoners plan. However it won't be good for me to parade you all through the street even if you are ‘restrained’, it would be best if we could appear right before the guardsmen at the palace so the closest place for them to lock you up if they decide too is within the palace itself. I should state if they do haul you away, I advise you not to resist, with the city on guard as it is it will be nigh impossible for you to escape anywhere. If I do my job right you will be out within half an hour I suspect and brought to the court if you are carted off, that is what I plan anyway.” he pauses "ill do my best to stick with you however" Han: HAN BREATHES A LONG BREATHE X2 Psalm: “Appreciated. Always good to have friends in higher places for this kind of thing, rather than muscle your way out of it “ @ han Han: neither of those things seem to go well for me Psalm: he just shrugs
Vorde: he unclasps his hands and continues speaking "speaking of, are any of carrying any rope on your person" Han: shibari time huh Cimmorro: bondage ti Keva: keva asks "what for" Vorde: aforementioned restraints
Cimmorro: "yall don't have rope in this house??" 🤨 Vorde: 🤨 vorde like no bro Cimmorro: damn ok sorry Chip: [cimm leaves the room] Cimmorro: KGJFLSDKJGKLSFG
Rokka hands Vorde a few lengths of rope from his pack to tie the group up with in their fake prisoners ploy, satisfied Vorde then tucks it away for later. He then brings up another concern he seems to have on his mind.
Vorde: he turns to you Finn with his brows furrowed “I am not sure...if I ought to bring you along Finnian. It is best we act swiftly which does mean leaving during daylight. You could stay here, though perhaps i ought to leave Orin with you. Best if you weren't alone after what happened a week back.” Finn: finn also furrows his brows and ponders his uncles words for a moment. "is it only because of the daylight uncle?" Vorde: he thinks for a moment "i suppose so"
Finn asks Orin to then go check and see how harsh the sunlight out today seems, he obliges, getting up to carefully sneak his way past the curtain as the group continue discussing the matter.
Han: han glances btwn vorde n finn quizzically "what happened a week ago" Finn: i exchange looks with vorde as to telepathically ask whos gonna answer her. Vorde: he looks at you finn and sighs before turning back to you han, tapping the table with one finger "when we first arrived in Shorewater and began poking around we were sent an uninvited visitor" Han: who Vorde: an assassin Han: han rolls her eyes "yes i got that but. any identifying features" Vorde: i found a letterheads token on him, though he was dressed as a guardsman. No ring so i assume he killed someone and stole their clothes to find passage to our room. Nothing else stood out about him. Han: han hmms thoughtfully Chip: geralt hmmm Han: yea, the energy im channelling today
Han: he didnt return and they didnt send anyone else to finish the job. cocky Vorde: [a nod] Psalm: or maybe with their ceremony on the horizon they decided they needed everyone focused on the same goal? Han: which is, in a word, cocky Psalm: sure if you want to put it that way
Han: "wait what did you do with the body" @ vorde Vorde: dumped in the sewers Han: han goes HHHRMMNH fwustwated
Orin returns and informs Finn and the gang that it appears to be cloudy out today, they should be good if Finn covers up with heavy cloaks. Finn thanks him and tells his uncle it should be alright for him to come with them, though he wouldn't mind staying back if that is what he preferred.
Vorde: vorde like hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 
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Psalm: “wouldn't it be safer to stick with a group in that case?” with his nephew there maybe he'll try harder to make things not go badly for us! 🙂 Plum: i also think it'd be kinda bad to be here alone, not like they didn't see us all runnin around Vorde: "i suppose it is better to stick together in this case" he looks at you finn "try not to horse around too much in the daylight" vorde worried parent mode engaged Finn: finn gives a big smile "got it!". >finn feels cared for friendship meter goes up Vorde: hmm, it would be more convincing in any case if i wasnt the only one bringing a group of fugitives to the palace. Finnian and Orin could make also have hold of the restraints.
Finn now assured that he is coming along, heads off into his room to quickly bulk up for the outside journey. Donning three three cloaks, the heaviest on top, thick black gloves and boots, a big sunhat and a scarf to protect his neck, he waddles back out into the main room where the party is situated.
Keva: keva's mouth seems to wiggle as she tries not to laugh Vorde: as you wander out and present yourself, vorde walks up to you and inspects your ensemble, after a moment he adjusts your scarf so it covers you mouth more and hmm's satisfied Orin: orin shouts a "looking good!" from across the room and snorts at keva Keva: keva shoots orin a look back like "what" and her smile breaks thru a little more before she fixes her face Plum: plum gives you a thumbs up Finn: "thanks uncle!!" finn beams @ vorde and looks at plum and orin and also shoots them a grateful smile
Vorde stretches again slightly, seemingly finally more awake then before, he informs the party to ready themselves to set off. They’ll get as close as they can to the palace before putting on the restrained charade, informing them they need to only disguise themselves well enough for a 5 minute walk through some alleys. Heading back into his room he begins preparing the evidence within his satchel and making himself presentable, the party following suit in trying to look conspicuous.
Keva: keva ties up her wet hair and pulls her hood and face mask up Han: han braids her hair and throws up cape too Psalm: (uses disguise kit) for good measure i just pull my hood up too Cimmorro: i'll just take off all the flashy jewellery and keep the hood up if that suffices Rokka: DISGUISE RING...
Rokka uses the disguise ring stolen from the letterheads to once again turn himself into a different human form, Chris Rokksworth, pop sensation. Plum asks the group if they oughta down the red potion they found earlier to change their hair colour.
Plum: can i just drink that weird potion and call it a day Han: angery ronand mcdoland Keva: 
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Psalm: i don't see why not, i'm hard pressed to think of a better time to use it Han: han shrugs in a ye sure way Plum: [looking very excited] "ok yeah sure" i chug that shit
you pop open the red bulbous vial and drink the airy liquid. slowly youre hair turns red, additionally your tongue does as well. 
Rokka: cool hair plum Finn: i give a thumbs up back at plum for earlier.
Vorde walks out of the room once more, he almost seems surprised seeing Rokka as a person but doesn't comment, he also doesn't say anything about plums hair. Satisfied with the disguises he heads for the balcony window, informing them its better if theyre not all seen exiting the front. He slides open the curtains and clicks open the doors, peering out for witnesses before he motions for the group to all follow him as he hops down. Orin adjusts his cloak and follows quickly after.
Rokka: vorde am i hot, am i hot to u vorde
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> 🎵  Aequilibrium. Medieval Tune. Hurdy-Gurdy With Organ / Andrey Vinogradov
The group quickly follow after the two sliding down the side of the building, though psalm seems to hitch his hooves on some stonework, nearly chipping them oww....his pedicure. The rest make it down quick enough and follow as Vorde begins leading the way through the shadowed alleys, as stealthily as they can to avoid detection from the increased patrols. Vorde keeping the lead and lookout helps the group manage to get by without sticking out too much.
Finally they all slowly come to a stop at an alley corner, as they come close they steal a glance at the palace, it looks as regal in the daylight as it did on the night the group all first stood before it, its peaks reaching high into the sky. The large light blue and white extravagant building dwarfs their forms, though it no longer has the inviting warm glow and festive aura as it did before. Guards stand alert and in a large number around the streets and on top of the walls, the main gates firmly shut with two royal guardsmen stationed in front of it at the top of the stairs leading up to it. Vorde quickly calls the group to attention.
Vorde: “follow my lead and don't put up too much of a fight, be sure to make sour enough faces to be convincing however, at least until you’re called before the court” he pulls the rope out of his satchel Keva: keva's face sours upon seeing the ropes come out no problem Han: hans been sour this whole time no worries bruv, i also keep a look out, like hans basically constantly alert and trying take in every little thing Psalm: psalm just stoic face as per usual, elevator music Rokka: im a celebrity im good at this, jk rokka is nervous af Plum: i always look kinda sour anyways Cimmorro: 😳 cimm like this Chip: cimm a freak like dat Psalm: LOOOL Cimmorro: oh no you caught mee, what ever shall i do, arrest this Plum: shut up shut up Han: cimm 😳 damn u pulling out ropes on the first date?
Vorde moves to hand some of the rope to Orin and they get to tying the six of the groups hands up, not too tightly but convincingly enough. He hands the rope holding Keva and Psalm off to Orin, and Han and Rokka to Finn, holding Plum and Cimmorro’s in his own. 
Vorde: "right then, plays about to begin, stay calm and follow my lead" he gives orin and finn both a nod Han: han nudges rokka to get his attention Rokka: tilts head at han ? Han: han points to vorde and makes a stupid face while pretending to talk seriously Rokka: rokka tries to stifle his laughs Finn: finn peeks out from under his scarf and squints Han: han stops immediately if she sees finn looking Rokka: rokka making snorting sounds from failing to not laugh Finn: I WAS GONNA WRITE THAT FINN HAS A SOMEWHAT APOLOGETIC LOOK BUT THEN YOU SENT THAT POKI Han: han is the picture of innocence Finn: finns rolls his eyes and turns his attention elsewhere
Psalm: well this works out pretty nicely doesn't it, since i've been kind of curious about you. Orin: he just raises a brow Keva: keva looks at psalm Psalm: he just smiles Ghester: [plays laughtrack.mp3 in ur head] Psalm: well i'm not the most learned person out there, but i was a bit curious how you came to start working for vorde is all Keva: you ask a lot of questions for someone who doesn't answer them Psalm: i think you're misunderstanding, i'm not asking anything. if i had an answer there'd be nothing to be curious about. Keva: keva makes a face like you're just saying words at her psalm Psalm: psalm just sighs Orin: “i dont mind telling you, its nothing special. Maybe after we get through court though" he looks back at you keva "no need to be so cagey about it really" Psalm: i highly doubt that it's nothing special. and i don't think there's been a time where she hasn't been cagey around me i think. Keva: oh don't go thinking you're special Psalm: oh i'm not? now i'm even more hurt  
Cimmorro: "so how are we feelin today" cimm attempts to nudge plum gently but ends up hitting their head with his elbow accidentally,  oh shit sorry your wig Plum: [GROANS REALLY LOUDLY] Cimmorro: well at least we're able to play the sour part of this play eh, all according to keikaku [editors note: keikaku means plan] Plum: always, not hard with this group Cimmorro: agreed. hey at least we're having the thrill of our lives eh? who knew we'd have a one way trip to life sentence. free! Plum: i honestly.... Cannot tell if you're joking Cimmorro: 
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Plum: [plum laughs] Vorde: while looking for a chance to head out of the alley he listens to the two of you like : | Cimmorro: vorde not being paid enough by the hour to baby sit cimm
Rokka: dont make me laugh im trying to be nervous Han: "whats there to be nervous about, really" han has a weak smile lmao Rokka: life sentence Han: "just gotta break out then" nudges rokka again Rokka: "ur right. ur so smart han" rokka visibly relaxes as he talks to han more aha Han: han laughs quietly "wish i had someone nice like you for a sibling instead of shitheads" Rokka: no stopping that now Han: after han finally Gets it, shes trying not to look like [crying emoji] then looks away kinda shy? "...they arent. complete shitheads......... i think you would get along nicely with'em" Finn: finn eavesdropping @ han, inch resting Rokka: I'd love to meet them one day if we make it out of this Han: "we will. i have to knock the life out of one of them" han smiles Rokka: how many siblings do you have Han: han loses her smile a touch and hesitates a sec b4 answering "...two now." Rokka: now..? Vorde: out of the corner of your eye you all see vorde come to attention and speak "its as empty as it'll be, nows the time to get as far as we can. were on" he shoots you all a glance. Rokka: rokka shoots a quick concerned glance at han before facing forward again
Vorde pulls the two behind him ahead on the ropes and marches proudly into the street, walking at a speedy pace followed by Orin and Finn, the group gets as far up the stairway to the main gates as possible before the entourage is spotted by the various nearby royal guardsman.
Immediately they hear a few shouts ahead of them as the two royal guards by the door call out to Vorde to halt, looking the group also notice the guards on the walls train arrows on their forms. Behind, nearby guards quickly run up to flank the group, surrounding them.
Keva: keva tenses up as the guards approach Han: han too, also making note of fucking everything, how many people, exits, all that shit Rokka: rokka also does the tense Plum: plum stands a little closer to cimm and vorde Psalm: psalm is also just scoping the place out for good measure
Vorde: he clears his throat before speaking loudly and plainly “I, Vorde Barvotte of Antessa, have found and bring to you now, the assassins and wanted fugitives responsible for the carnage during the Elfonsent Ball but not a few nights ago” he continues a little less loudly with his brow furrowed “I bring grave news regarding their actions and future plans of attack on the city, i demand to be brought before the nobility and kings at once to relay this pertinent information immediately” the two royal guardsman in front of him pause for a moment and eyeball the group behind him bound in ropes.
Han appears to get the stink eye specifically from one of the guardsmen before the guard on the right, presumably the guard captain speaks up.
Guard Captain: “there are only 5 assassins left alive to my knowledge 'good' sire, and wasn't one of em' a lupin?” she turns her head to the other guard as if to ask for confirmation, he nods his head. Vorde: he clasps his hands together before responding “it appears you were not thorough enough in your investigation of the body then guard captain, it is of dire importance this error is rectified wouldn't you agree? as for the second question" he looks over at finn and gestures for him to bring chris rokksworth pop sensation forward Han: pop sensation chris rokksworth cant be bad! hes a star! Rokka: silly! hes just getting into his new movie role!
Finn brings Rokka forward as prompted by Vorde, reaching for Rokka’s bound hands Vorde pulls off the ring shifting his form immediately back to his lupin one.
Vorde: "These assassins are crafty wouldn't you say, hiding their faces to avoid detection." he gives you a quick look rokka that to you seems like hes saying gj bro Rokka: rokka just makes a surprised face :OOOOOOO
Satisfied, Vorde turns curtly and pushes Rokka back to where he was standing before, turning back to the guard captain. She squints at him and then quickly turns and raises her arm, ordering the nearby guardsman to examine the tied up members of the party for any weapons.
Han: han probably has all her weapons on her.... she grits her teeth over this lol, han glaring dagger into whoever has her stuff lmao Rokka: [nooo dont confiscate my swords] Keva: keva scowls as a guard approaches her and pats her down Han: eat shit copper
Orin tries to give Keva and Psalm placating looks throughout the process while not being obvious. The six members of the party have all their physical weapons removed from their persons. The guardsman on the right clears her throat seemingly satisfied with her appraisal and shouts at the guards on the walls to lift the gates, as she does Vorde gives the group a barely noticeable nod and continues speaking.
Vorde: “I must be bring them all before the nobility themselves as soon as possible, their testimony will be important for what i am to tell the royalty, i cannot explain their actions without them and the imminent threat to the city without them”  Guard Captain: she responds with a curt “you want to bring assassins before the kings for a second time?” Vorde: they are bound and weaponless, they couldn't hurt more than a fly as they stand now, beaten and docile. I'm sure you’ve a great manner of ways to check before they are brought anywhere near the nobility but i stress, i must speak to them with all of the fugitives present. It is of the greatest importance
The group watch the main gates slowly rise as Vorde speaks, hearing the grunting of guards nearby as they work it open. They’re all ushered ahead by the guardsmen behind them to walk through the gates. Stepping over the threshold they feel a wash of something pass over them as they enter the perimeter of the palace before moving along. 
Ghester: In the back of your head Psalm you hear Ghester make almost what sounds like a grunt of pain before hearing him whisper “....nasty enchantments in place now i see” Psalm: psalm's just looks at orin like eh could be worse, oh wait
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Psalm: psalm just tries to mask cough asking ghester "are you alright?" in infernal Ghester: you hear a strained hmm as he speaks "nothing that will kill me but it shall be a persistent pain for a while i suppose, im being forcefully restrained is how i would put it. dont worry, i'll do my best to keep a watchful eye" Psalm: quietly "hmm, i wasn't that concerned about them taking my stuff but knowing that i guess i should be. although i can't really say i'm surprised they'd have you covered too." Ghester: he gives a dreary sigh Psalm: what do you want me to kiss it better? tough it out man! you're like a million years old aren't you? Ghester: he doesn't respond Psalm: * slightly concerned *
Keva: keva's gone from staring warily at the guards to staring at psalm talking to himself Han: 🤨 Psalm: psalm like why y'all staring at me Han: cant a man talk to himself every once in a while Psalm: thats what im saying
As the group walk through they all hear the guard captain Vorde is speaking to respond with a “we’ll see” before she pulls another guard over and motions for them to run ahead of the group with a message.
They quickly take off, the guard captain then turns and motions for Vorde and the entourage to follow close behind. The group are all ushered through a grand main garden, blooming flowers of yellow and blue and large plants bracket the main pathway. They feel plenty of eyes on then as they’re lead through the grounds.
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> 🎵  Dark Medieval Blues. Hurdy-Gurdy, Organ & Drum / Andrey Vinogradov
The group is pushed towards the main palace entrance doors and a grand entrance foyer, flanked by royal guardsmen as they enter. There are a number more than there were during the Ball they notice as they’re are ushered down a tall corridor to the right, the royal guardsman marching along with them the whole way.
Eventually in one of the corridors they are brought to a stop. Soon after the messenger that was sent ahead earlier rushes back, as he heaves out of breath the guard captain mutters an impatient “and…?” he stands puffing before sidling up to whisper in her ear, she makes a sour face afterwards.
Guard Captain: “You’re to be examined before i bring you before the court” she points at a nearby door “inside” 
The group are once again hauled through by the guards. They find themselves led through a door to what appears to be an old and ornate looking library, though somewhat messy looking, before being ordered to sit upon a set of chairs lined up near a long wooden table.
The ceiling here is high and there are various potted plants strewn about the tall cases of old tomes, ladders with wheels on the bottom are affixed to the large wooden bookshelves. Orin seems to be looking about the large room with curiosity as if he cant help himself.
Psalm: psalm is same he's basically like "oh shit! books!!" Han: han keeps glaring at the guard who took all her shit n gritting her teeth Finn: finn also letting his eyes wander a little around the room Keva: keva also looks around and takes it all in warily
After a few minutes of waiting you all see the door open again as a woman wearing a large hat with aqua toned skin steps through, fins sprouting from her face.
Han: han briefly looks at her, then does a double take.  Rokka: anxiety sky rockets
Han: han wolf whistles smh she’s a chad dont be stupid Psalm: PLEASE NO Han: NO NO AS;LKHFDLKHWADS;LKF IM KIDDING IM KIDDING Cimmorro: KVLDJSKGJSDKLG\ Han: u can keep me in these cuffs baby girl (winks) Psalm: psalm throws up Plum: [retches] Han: this is why han only gets laid when she pays Psalm: OH MY LORD WHAT A THING TO SAY LMFAO Chip: she fucks but at what cost (25 gold) Han: 25 GOLD, DAMN
The woman appears as if she's a triton, the race typically live underwater they suppose shorewater is located on the sea, not strange for the people to make their way into the politics of the country on the oceans doorstep.
Carrying papers with her they note that she appears to be formally dressed, though they aren't quite sure of her station. She moves towards the table with a nod and places the notes and items she seems to be carrying down with a quick huff and turning to the guardsman
Mardella: “I’m here to examine the accused, i shall cast a general spell then probe further if i need too” as she speaks she brushes an errant hair behind one of her fins. Han: raise ur hand if u dont wanna get zone of truth-ed Plum: I DO I DO I WANNA GET ZONE OF TRUTHED MAKE THIS NIGHTMARE END I'M INNOCENT Han: AKLDSF;LKHRAWLKHHESGDLKAW;LKJ4F all my charm spell nightmares coming to life
Mardella: turning to the three not seated she continues “I am guessing you are Vorde Barotte then?” Vorde: he gives a small bow in response “yes that is correct” Mardella: she hmms and continues “I am curious as to how you apprehended them all when the guardsman had such difficulty, but you seem to express a great desire to speak before the kings themselves so i will leave the needling for the moment” she turns back to the rest of you seated in the chairs “right then this shall take me some time”
She moves to sit at the long table and picks up the papers she was holding. Just then the group also notice she also has a quill and a pot of ink near her. She quickly gets to work drawing notes of some sort before standing.
She walks back to the 6 of them and speaks casting a spell, she seems to grip something at her neck glowing a white light for a moment before relenting. She casts the Zone of Truth of spell, affecting all of them except for Psalm and Cimmorro. Should they speak now they can only respond truthfully.
Psalm: i almost wished cimm failed that just to force him to speak properly Plum: cimm says peenus weenus fr and this woman is like, i am in the presence of a complicated mind... a puzzle box Cimmorro: JKGSDGJSG now everyone's in MY world Chip: lets start with your childhood cimmorro Cimmorro: AM I AT THERAPY? Han: YES
Mardella: she clasps her hands in front of herself and speaks "i shall ask you a series of questions, i expect you to cooperate with this process" she pauses and continues "are any you of currently under the effects of a spell, intended to deceive?" Keva: no Plum: nah Psalm: as far as i am aware, no Han: no Rokka: nope Cimmorro: nope
Han: laughs over the differences n similarities in our responses Psalm: that’s rp babey! Plum: tag urself
Mardella: she hmms and continues "are any of you still carrying weapons or contraband on your person" Han: han grits her teeth "i fucking wish" Keva: no Psalm: no Cimmorro: nope Rokka: nope :( Plum: no Cimmorro: plum sitting there thinking "is this illegal? fuck if i know" (re their pink medical potion) for 30 seconds before answering
Mardella: she continues "do you harbour ill intent towards the royalty of this country" Plum: no Keva: no Han: no Rokka: never Psalm: no Cimmorro: not yet i dont :d Plum: LFAMOGOGOO Han:;KHAS;LKDF;AWEFD Cimmorro: DONT TEST ME Chip: cimmorro cringe compilation Psalm: @ cim
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Cimmorro: LKBF;DBCVB,SB.,S Han: we are all testing her patience,  cimm and han 🤝 at their wits fucking end Cimmorro: they find truce. Once
Mardella: she gives you a look cimm and continues "how long ago did you arrive and shorewater, and for what purpose" Keva: 2 weeks. i’m looking for someone Plum: a few weeks ago, came here to talk to vorde Rokka: nearly a month, im just exploring Psalm: a little under two weeks. and i'm just here for a change of scenery Cimmorro: came around 2 weeks back or so. just passing by really, pilgrimaging Han: almost 5 seasons. my friend left me here to find myself
Mardella: she humms "and a final one, were you all here on the night of the Elfonsent Ball?" Han: yes Keva: yes Cimmorro: yup Psalm: yes Plum: ya Rokka: yup
Mardella: satisfied she nods and unclasps her hands "thank you for complying" 
The woman walks back to the end of the table where she placed her papers and begins to draw with the ink and quill, what look like runes of a sort, whispering under her breath, they figure shes slowly casting another spell.
They sit in silence under the watch of the guardsman, about ten minutes pass before she seems to finish, a quick glow bursts from her hands and she stands once again, coming to scrutinise them all. She then slowly examines them all one by one from a distance, making her way down the line before stopping after a time, seemingly satisfied.
Mardella: “I’ve not detected anything suspicious in the way of magic for now” she stands and dusts her dress slightly “i shall go and inform the kings, lead them to the court hall once you are ready” she turns and gives Vorde a slight bow before standing and leaving the room. 
Han: oh that was a detect magic not identify, i was like how is psalm not pinging -  warlock pact Cimmorro: psalm big dong pinging under the radar of mommy Psalm: yeah everything about that is horrible jez Chip: psalm back on pornhub Psalm: everything about what you just said is terrible, GOD, THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD TIME Plum: jez, jez i will beat you one day Cimmorro: Nicj9jjoflkeneje
The guard captain satisfied, motions for the guards to haul the group out of the room and back through the palace, the other three following close behind. Once more they are led through the tall corridors of the palace into a more minimalistically decorated area, though it seems everywhere in this place is covered in plush long carpets. Eventually they are all brought before a large set of double doors, taller than themselves, and brought to a stop. 
The guard captain stands at attention before them all, bringing Vorde, Finn and Orin in front of the group, before turning and lightly knocking on the door. A moment passes and soon after what they assume to be a secretary of sorts sticks his head out and whispers in her ear before leaning back inside and closing the door.
Plum: [fidgeting] Rokka: [fidgeting] Han: han is stoic tense n grimacing the usual Keva: keva's like, lightly scuffing the plush carpet with a shoe as she looks around Psalm: psalm sneezes Chip: ghester doesn't say bless you
Guard Captain: she turns back to you all and speaks “You have been granted an audience with the kings, the princess, the archmage and the high arcane adviser. You will speak when spoken too and keep your hands to yourself, if i notice but a hair out of place, you're out the door. As for the rest of you-” she cranes her head “try anything again and we’ll gut you where you stand, am i clear?” Plum: i heard one of the kings is really hot, IM JK Han: KKHDA;SLKHFALKHEFDS Cimmorro: JDJFKROEDLDM so ure saying hes not? 🤔
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> 🎵  The Great Cross-Examination ~ Allegro 2015 / The Great Ace Attorney OST
The guard captain turns and pushes open the doors walking ahead. Vorde, Orin and Finn follow after her as the rest of the group are pushed along behind by the royal guardsman. They all enter what looks like a large chamber, a small set of stairs leading down into a large circle with an ornate design in its centre, tall pillars along either end. At the centre hanging over the centre of the large circle is a lit chandelier, clean in its design.
Across and up another set of stairs appears to be 5 seats, two more ornately decorated than the others, each sat upon by a person flanked by stone statues. The two kings Jermiah and Peruvus Argotts, sit in the two at the centre, flanked by princess Forrin Argott. Next to them sits a gnome in ornate garb, and the woman from earlier, Mardella. 
The chamber has a set of royal guardsmen lined up on either end of the wall at attention, the group is slowly led down to the centre of the room as the guard captain in front of them speaks, head bowed low.
Psalm: A GNOME? :pogchamp: WE'VE BEEN KONGED Plum: GNOME COOL Cimmorro: DAMN TGIF THANK GNOME ITS FRIDAY Han: 
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Rokka: SDFCGVHBJKL Cimmorro: THANKS POKI
Guard Captain: your majesty's, i bring Vorde Barvotte of Antessa and his associates, as well as the 6 fugitives wanted for the events that occurred during the Efonsent Ball” she then steps back and aside, allowing Vorde, Finn and Orin to stand facing the court instead. “He claims to have pertinent information regarding their plans and a future plan of attack upon the city, he desired to relay this directly to the court.” The eyes of the five soon land on Vorde as he folds his arms behind his back.
Jeremiah: the king consort speaks up first “Well no need to keep us in suspense sire, speak freely. Mind we are a bit on edge at the moment so if possible it would be well for us to keep this audience brief” Turen: you hear the gnome woman speak up soon after him with a sigh “better for us to be taking no audiences at this time with the work to be done right now” Forrin: The princess responds soon after “we can't turn down any information at this time Turen, even if it ends up being a farce. Though I doubt the good sir would jeopardise himself so readily in such a precarious time, correct?” she tilts her head slightly with a glance at Vorde. Vorde: He responds with a small bow and a brief “of course your highness” Jermiah: he once again waves his hand as if prompting Vorde to begin speaking once more. Cimmorro: speak now thot Plum: plum is just listening to them say words and not absorbing any of it,  just thinking i am looking at the faces of the rulers of this country right now, i wonder what my parents would think Finn: finn looking at these people like man theyre richer than us Cimmorro: we start dancing behind him, interactive presentation Han: we start doing fortnite dances Psalm: psalm is also like hmm wonder what my parents would think, how did i end up here
Vorde: standing straight again he begins “I bring important news of dire events but more notably i must stress an important detail first. The 6 fugitives behind me stand accused of heinous crimes towards the court and the sanctity of this city and country, but I've proof they were merely innocent bystanders who were used. Their faces stolen to be equipped as masks in crimes against this country” He straightens his back slightly before continuing “On my person i have a pieces of evidence that point towards the true culprits behind the attack on your persons your majesty’s, a cult known by the moniker ‘The Red Letterheads’ who deal in disgusting acts for a purpose i do not fully understand myself yet” 
 As Vorde speaks the group see the 5 sitting in front of him watch with rapt attention, he details the evidence they’ve all found and presents his satchel, leaving it upon the ground for examination as he speaks. The guard captain takes the satchel and walks it to the gnome Turen and Mardella who begin to examine its contents. 
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> 🎵  Joint Reasoning (Type A) / The Great Ace Attorney OST
Throughout his monologue he turns to each member of the party to provide testimony or speak upon the things they have seen and encountered over the past few days to prove their innocence, and the letterheads being the true culprits before leaving the closing argument to Finn.
Han: uses her outlander feat to provide testimony explaining the groups movements precisely retracing their steps and describing the letterheads place
Psalm: persuades them that the night started with the group being either hired as vinny's bodyguards or brought along as his +1's and the reason why they chose them for doppelgangers was because they were apparently easy targets
Plum: talks about the fact that they only came to shorewater to talk to vorde and then was going to fuck off back to talornia or wherever - they say "fuck off back to" and then are like ah oops
Keva: say she was talking with silversoul and was in his vicinity during the attack, so she saw him stabbed and wasn't around vinny who her doppelganger was seen stabbing bc she was across the ballroom -  [ psalm jumps in on keva's point to say that he had seen the letterhead member that stabbed vinny before she disguised herself as keva and that they later apprehended her and got information out of her ]
Rokka: mentions that he was speaking to vorde with han and plum at the ball,  BRO IM JUST A JOCK
Cimmorro: speaks precisely about the methods of necromancy the group saw, including the undead zombies and the blood clones.
Finn: for the closing statement he emphasises keva’s testimony re:gintama and cimmorro’s regarding the blood clones. Tying that in with the evidence the group  have and making it clear that the real perpetrators have pressing motives that need to be investigated with utmost urgency
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> 🎵  The Old Bailey ~ Closing Argument / The Great Ace Attorney OST
Finn eventually closes out the argument, nervously taking a breath as he finishes speaking. In front of them the group watch as the court thinks of the things the party has relayed, most of them with their brows furrowed. 
Psalm: i hope this turns into a "glad we brought him!" situation Cimmorro: PLZ 🥺
Peruvus: finally he speaks up “So this is true then? I had suspicions this was part of a greater plot but it appears to have become all the truer with every word you’ve spoken.”  Jeremiah: “The inconsistencies within your testimony make sense if the culprits were in fact doppelgangers, a cult hmm” looking at you Finn he continues "you said his name was Theyord?” Han: han zones out for a sec and then goes "i believe he also went by ansam?" Finn: finn pulls down his scarf slightly. "Indeed. But my uncle has a better account of this, if you do not mind him relaying it in my place." and just. eyeballs vorde. motioning for him to take over. Cimmorro: this is finn the whole time but crying
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Vorde: Yes, your majesty, i think in a previous life he may have gone by the name Ansam, i'm unsure of its relevance at the moment Jeremiah: at that he seems to think for a moment before frowning and putting a hand to his face to think, not speaking after. Turen: next to him the archmage speaks up “This tome is certifiably filled with black magic, the kind you often dont see used on the material plane by living creatures because of how complicated the runes are. If this cult's patron is Mephisto then that is most certainly where they got these litany of spells, he just gives them out to anyone who asks now? This devil gives me a headache…” she turns towards the three standing members of royalty before continuing “i can confirm the contents of this tome are indeed teemed toward necromancy and mind control, it may explain a few things. The enchantments on these items feel like the scratchings of the desperate” she looks over at you cimmorro "seems he knows what hes talking about" Cimmorro: cimm just looks back at them like <:3c
Keva and Han attempt to study the king consort’s reaction to the name Ansam but dont get much aside from the fact that he recognises it, theyre unsure how affected he is right now by its mention. Han does note that the 5 seem to be seriously considering the groups argument, seems Finn’s closing argument was quite strong. 
Psalm also thinks now and considers if he’s heard the name Ansam before, he thinks that perhaps faintly he may have heard it somewhere back home, thinking that it sounds like it could be the name of tiefling. Though he doesnt get much else. Soon after Cimmorro is praised Mardella once again speaks up 
Mardella: “i do not think they're lying about the stolen faces, we had the suspicion already. Once we removed the ring upon the corpse in the palace it changed its face completely, it's of the same make as the one I hold now” she twirls the disguise ring around in the light. “Your majesty’s, your highness, i too can confirm the authenticity of these items as Turen just did” Forrin: at this she responds, lifting her arm slightly, beckoning towards the guard captain “as a gesture of trust, i’d like you to remove their bindings as they stand before us captain” 
Quickly bowing, the guard captain walks over to the group of six, Orin, Finn and Vorde drop the ropes as she quickly cuts each member free one by one, their hands allowed to roam as they please. Other royal guards step forward to take the ropes and remove them from the hall as the king begins to speak once more.
Peruvus: “I'm going to choose to believe the events you’ve just relayed to us to be truth, in which case I apologise for the rough treatment you’ve no doubt undergone in place of our true culprits. It must not have been easy gathering all of this information.” He turns to you Finnian, and continues “earlier your group said there was an immediate dire threat facing us, can you explain? Or was this also part of the farce to gain an audience with us” he clasps his hands over his knees as he speaks, leaning forward slightly “we’ve upped the city’s defences somewhat since the assassination attempts and the return of our archmage, but there have been unusual happenings i've noticed over the past day. I’d like to know what you can tell me and if you’ve any further leads”  Psalm: If I may, what are these 'unusual happenings' you're referring to? Peruvus: he shits his attention over towards you psalm and responds "The mayor caused a great hullabaloo at the government ward gates, it appears as if he started a fist fight with all the nearby guardsmen out of the blue. None were eager to bring him down as he was already still injured from the Ball’s events" he rubs the bridge of his nose as if beleaguered "Similarly a cleric from the church of Heiron was seen pounding on the gates in the church district soon after his recovery within his own church's walls, he resisted any attempts from the guardsman to calm him and had to be restrained..." Keva: keva frowns @ news abt panaver Han: han tsks kind of to herself
Psalm: I see. Well going off what we know so far the cult has the ability to both disguise themselves, but their leader can temporarily possess the followers as well. The cleric is one of the wounded from the night of the ball, so that at least explains his breakdown. Keva: "silversoul" keva says, quieter than she usually speaks Psalm: sorry what was that Keva: keva huffs and says louder "his name was panaver silversoul. he was the one i was talking to." Han: we think who was stabbed, is who can be controlled by theyord Finn: "It was not a farce. Our investigation has proven that the Letterheads have been preparing to perform a ritual. Perhaps some sort of summoning. The language they used suggested serious danger. Tightened defenses or not, Shorewater is vulnerable." Finn sighs and closes his eyes for a second. "it might be of interest for you to know that they possess portals that lead to various different places in Shorewater, possibly outside of it." Psalm: With that being said, we don't really have the specifics of the 'dire' event the letterheads have planned. But for the most part they seem intent on 'punishing' Shorewater. Oh, and they plan to carry out this punishment within the next few days. Plum: i'd give us less than two days. Psalm: If even so much. We did however, infiltrate their base, so assuming they haven't left we know the whereabouts and have an idea of what it's like inside
Cimmorro:  is finn still wearing all of his layers during the entirety of this Finn: yes Cimmorro: perfect,  he's just waddling around while explaining things
Forrin: ...a large scale attack… we’ll need Turen to scour that tome for any sort of spell that might indicate to what exactly they’re attempting, perhaps that Accord wizard might assist us. We must further up the guard presence along the walls and call a lockdown perhaps.. Jeremiah: perhaps we ought evacuate the city entirely, though I wonder if we’d have enough time, if we were caught while people are outside their homes en masse it could worsen the situation entirely… Mardella: i think a lockdown would be a better course of action, if we set about activating the city wide enchantments quickly the people would be safer inside their homes than out Jeremiah: he nods in response “hmm this is true, we’ll need to expend all our effort into organising the guard as quickly as possible more than we already have, we ought to bulk up the church and government ward gates specifically as well. Its good to know we've a location to crack down on then as well. We ought to arrange a group of guardsman and mages to flush them out post hate as well..
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> 🎵  Joint Reasoning: The Great Deduction (Type B) / The Great Ace Attorney OST
Forrin calls over the guard captain and the secretary seated at the desk close by and begins relaying orders for them to begin sending out along with Peruvus. Jeremiah however continues to address the group as they do.
Jeremiah: Travellers and esteemed Barvottes. I King Consort Jeremiah, am now asking formally for your aid in this time of crisis, we are stretched thin and with not knowing what to expect the city needs as much help and eyes as we can give her. You will be compensated greatly for helping the city of Shorewater, and the country of Dorrin itself in its coming time of crisis. As well as for the hardships you have already endured, is there a name I might refer to you all as going forward?” Vorde: he turns his head at you all expectantly afterwards as well.
Cimmorro: wow even on dnd we quarantine Chip: social distancing to save from cults Psalm: damn jeremiah if you're asking like that... 👉👈 Cimmorro: jeremiah stan club Plum: sir can i get your autograph
The group then scramble to decide on a name, quickly forming a group huddle amongst themselves.
Cimmorro: cimm does a poor attempt to huddle us all up and goes "lets just go with peenus weenus" Plum: whispering heatedly "shut up cimm shut up" Psalm: sure why not, i'm sure whatever dignity we have left doesn't matter anymore right? Han: tries not to choke
Finn: finn coughs uncomfortably at cimm's suggestion. "we could simply refer to ourselves as a strike force." Han: do we even have anything that makes us one Psalm: vinny's strike force... to honour him since he's dead. /s Cimmorro: the brokebacks Plum: SHUTGUUPPGPF
Cimmorro: while everyone is debating i just walk up to the king and goes like we're the vengaboys -  "your majesty i present to you the vengaboys" Jeremiah: he looks towards you cimmorro and tilts his head "vengaboys? i see, well then Vengaboys-" and he turns to the rest of you all "i would like to ask again for finality's sake, do you have any more possible leads at the moment?" Cimmorro: i turn back to everyone and gives a thumbs up Psalm: psalm gives a thumbs up back Vorde: [internally] tf does venga mean Psalm: TF DOES VENGA MEAN Chip: vengeance boys... Cimmorro: ^ Keva: boys for vengeance Finn: 
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Psalm responds afterwards, informing the king consort that the only one they have would be the hideout as they’ve never met Theyord in person, Han emphasising only when hes possessed someone. He also brings up the notes in the back of the book, noting Shelly’s name and that she may be in possible danger.
Keva: i step a little closer to psalm and say "tell them about those people we ran into down there" Psalm: psalm just folds his arms and does what keva asks Keva: YYYEEAAAAHHH
Han: when theres a pause han also asks "what about the assassin that you caught? who are they?" Jeremiah: he looks over at you "they weren't caught per say, the guards struck them right in the ballroom before they could strike at us, dead in seconds." he thinks "we examined the body of course but as far as we could tell they weren't a Shorewater native, i dont think they were from Dorrin originally either. The most we could glean was they had a brand upon their back in the shape of a symbol once we removed the disguise”
Forrin then returns her attention to the conversation at hand, seemingly her and her brother Peruvus have finished issuing orders for the moment, having been paying attention to the ongoing conversation.
Peruvus: “We shall work on the assignment of the guardsmen across the city and deciphering all we can from the tome you’ve given us, as well as bolster the city's magic defences, and declare a lockdown. Once you return from investigating Shelly Carter’s abode I would ask you to assist us directly in these tasks. At the most i can spare some guardsmen to assist you in this endeavour, it would be best i think to send one of the captains in charge of the arcana district to help your investigation. I will send word for you to meet them at the district gates, it would be best for us to move as quickly as possible”  Turen: in response to this archmage stands “if i am no longer needed your majesty i shall consort with Mardella and the witch from the accord, my workload has suddenly increased tenfold” she rolls her shoulders as if gearing up for a fist fight.
Jeremiah nods and waves her and Mardella off, the two stand and leave the room via one of the large doors, finally him and the other two royals stand 
Jeremiah: “The royal guardsman shall escort you off the palace grounds and send word across the city that you aren't to be approached in your travel, should you require any food or rest before you head off you may use one of the rooms in the palace. The guardsmen will direct you.” Peruvus: “return as soon as you are able, we’ve not a moment to waste” Psalm: I don't speak for everyone here, but as it's still early in the day I don't think we'll be here for long before heading onto our next task Peruvus: looks towards you psalm and nods "of course, whatever suits you for the moment" He looks back towards Vorde addressing him directly "thank you again for your aid in this time from your family, sire Barvotte, it shall not be forgotten. As well as for you, Vengaboys, may we meet to discuss what comes next soon with higher hopes" 
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The royal guard captain stands and rises as the royals give the group a small courteous bow which Vorde returns doubly so. The party and co. are ushered back out of the doors of the grand courthall their names now clear, their next task pressing on their minds....
--
Notes
🦇Finn succeeded the debate skill challenge very epic
🍺 Plum drank the「  Red Potion ✨ 」who knows how long they’ll have red hair for...
-「  4 Poison Daggers ✨ 」-「 a Branding Rod ✨ 」-「 a Red Tome ✨ and -「 2 Letterhead Tokens ✨ 」 were handed over to the Court as evidence
- ITS NOON - 33 HOURS UNTIL - 📜🩸 The Reckoning 🩸📜 - (supposedly)
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All the personal asks plz
Alrighty then!
1. Any scars?
Mhm, pretty much all the scars I have are burns. One is from burning the side of my arm on an iron my mom had  standing upright that I brushed against trying to reach something on the counter behind it and I’ve got one or two other scars from my culinary class on my hands from trying to put a tray in the oven and bumping it on the rungs above the ones I was putting it on. I burnt my hand day one of actually cooking. Yes I’m a disaster.
2. Self harmed?
Absolutely not. One, I’m too scared of pain, and two, I have uh… An unpleasant history involving someone else threatening self harm to make me do what they wanted, so… It’s a really sore spot for me.
3. Crush?
I honestly have no idea.
4. Kissed anyone?
Nope
5. Coke or Pepsi?
Neither they make me physically ill
6. Someone you hate?
There’s a LOT of assholes at my school but the person I hate the most is probably my dad for reasons.
7. Best Friends?
Mhm! I’ve got a handful on this site but my IRL best friend is @theansweris-a. She doesn’t really get on tumblr anymore but if you’re reading this I love you friendo and have a good day! :D
8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?
hahaha fuCK NO. I’d rather not get addicted to something that can and will kill me and throw my money at people to sustain it. If someone offered me either I’d probably flip them off whilst slowly backing up and getting tf out of there because NO.
9. What’s your dream job?
Author/Illustrator with some VA work and Video Game directing on the side.
10. Ever been in love?
I have. It was with someone I didn’t have a chance with and who would be an absolutely awful lover to me since we weren’t compatible emotion-wise so I let it go. It was hard, but I did it.
11. Last time you cried?
Last Sunday trying to explain to my mom why our preacher and the church we go to has completely fallen out of my favor for it’s very loud blatant ‘LGBT people are bad abortion is evil insert other white conservative stuff here’ ‘cause she doesn’t know I’m LGBT+ (and it’s going to stay that way) and I was trying to explain to her why I would never say invite my LGBT friends to church because they would be mercilessly persecuted by people who call themselves followers of God then spit in his eye by doing the exact opposite of everything he’s asked of them. Yes I still feel really strongly about this.
12. Favorite color?
Cyan!
13. Height?
How coincidence, I just got it measured today! 5′6, FINALLY OFFICIALLY TALLER THEN MY MOM MUHAHAHAHAHA
14. Birthday?
November 17th!
15. Eye color?
Milk chocolately-brown
16. Hair color?
Dark brown
17. What do you love?
this is so open ended hjkfjfjkhgkjh okay then I love girls, video games, anime, writing, drawing, reading, and animals.
18. Obsession?
My top 3 in order of obsession; Kill La Kill, RWBY, and Kingdom Hearts.
19. If you had one wish, what would it be?
For every single illness, disease, syndrome, disorder, and so on to have a cure. From Cancer to Asthma. Both because I have so many incurable diseases/disorders and because I know there are people out there who have things so much worse than me in that department.
20. Do you love someone?
I love all my mutals, friends, and most of my family including extended family. 
21. Kiss or hug?
I’ve never been kissed so I don’t know anything about how that would be so I’d say hug because I love hugs!
22. Nicknames people call you?
Derpy, Slurpy, D-Slur, Resident Cinnamon Roll (That’s my actual nickname on a Revue Starlight discord)
23. Favorite song?
this is like asking me to pick my favorite child uhhhhh… This Life Is Mine by Jeff Williams, it just means a lot to me.
24. Favorite band?
i know no bands by name
25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?
….Okay, uh, this is gonna be really hard to decide because a LOT of bad things have happened to me. I’ll go with the more physical choice because I’d rather not dump too much of my emotional baggage onto yall. One time I was being prepped for surgery and they needed to get the IV in. (for the record I’m shaking pretty badly right now from thinking about this) They had to stab my arm with what they called a ‘Bee sting’ (it wasn’t a bee sting it goes almost down to the bone) that had numbing stuff in it and they were trying to find a vein they could put my IV in but they couldn’t find one (okay now i’m typing really fast so I don’t have to think about this for long) and they kept stabbing my arm over and over again. The thing is I have a serious phobia of needles that sends me into panic attacks, I’ll go lightheaded I’ll lose my hearing and so on. So I was trying to put a brave face on despite my parents not even being there but they would. not. stop. They didn’t give me a break. It was one stab then another then another then another. I was having a full blown panic attack, I was almost crying. Then they seemed to get it. They left me for a bit and my parents came in. My arm started swelling. They HADNT got it. My arm was being filled with whatever my IV was. They came back in with the beesting. They started stabbing me again but on the other arm. I couldn’t keep a brave face anymore after thinking they were finally done. I started to cry and sob and the panic attack I had that day was the single worst I have ever had. It got worse. They missed a vein entirely and instead hit a bundle of nerves. My hand started involuntarily twitching as pain unlike any I’ve ever felt before or until now wracked my arm. I had actual trauma from this, the night after the surgery I kept feeling ghost pains of the stabs in my arms, I had to sleep on my stomach with my arms wrapped around my front just to make them go away. I’m still extremely traumatized of this to this day. I never want to have surgery again. I never want an IV again. 
Okay that got away from me there I’m sorry I kinda was having a panic attack while writing that. Anyways moving on.
26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?
This is gonna sound cheesy but meeting @theansweris-a. She’s the sweetest and kindest person I have ever met in my entire life and I feel so incredibly lucky to call her my friend, though knowing her she’ll see this and reply with ‘No U’ because we always end up in a shouting match of ‘YOU ARE A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING’ ‘NO YOU’RE A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING’ 
27. Something you would change about yourself?
I definitely would lose weight. Not because of societies bullshit but because I legitimately want to lose weight so I can actually get strong and build up some muscle, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO OPEN GATORADE BOTTLES GODDAMNIT
28. Ever dated someone?
Nope, I’m closeted and have no interest in even pretending I’m straight by dating a guy, I mean I know some genuinely nice guys (all of them dorks) but they’re all just my friends though they are massive goofballs and I love them very much. (Entirely platonically)
29. Worst mistake?
I… Don’t think you guys wanna know that. It’s nothing bad its just depressing and I don’t wanna be more depressing then I already have been.
30. Watch the movie or read the book?
Depends on which is better, like I’d rather watch the Chronicles of Narnia than read the books because the books are honestly terrible but I’d rather read Percy Jackson than watch the movie because the movies are incredibly unfaithful to the books.
31. Ever had a heartbreak?
Yeah… 
32. Favorite show?
Kill La Kill!
33. Best day of your life?
My cheesiness never ceases but the first time I actually hung out with @theansweris-a IRL at the mall. I remember being SO excited for it but also nervous that how easily we talk to each other wouldn’t translate into real life and I remember spotting her walking up and practically shouting her name before running up and giving her a big ol’ hug whilst crying happy tears (I know i’m sappy shut up) and then when we were let loose to walk around we quickly discovered that we clicked almost immediately and incredibly well it was just the best thing ever. Like, in that one day alone we spent six hours in that mall just chatting and buying stuff and having fun and we left the mall with like three different inside jokes despite it being our first time meeting in person since we first met. Hi my name is Derpy and I’m a big ol’ sap.
34. Any talents?
I’m pretty good at writing, I can type really fast, and I can play the harmonica.
35. Do you wish you could ever start over?
Absolutely not. Things are the way they are for a reason, and even though I’ve been through a LOT it’s because of all that that I’m the person I am today and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.
36. Any bad habits?
Yeah, I’m a nail biter.
37. Ever had a near death experience?
Yes actually, when I was 3 or 4 we took a plane to California to visit some relatives and I almost walked out of the air hatch one the way out, I remember this vividly even though it was a long time ago. If it wasn’t for the flight attendant grabbing me before I fell out, I wouldn’t be here today.
38. Someone I can tell anything to?
@theansweris-a and @my-words-are-light, they’re both really good listeners and have helped me through a lot of stuff.
39. Ever lost a loved one?
My Great Grandpa Ritch died shortly after I was born, there’s a lot of pictures of him smiling and holding me while in a hospital bed and hooked up to oxygen.
40. Do you believe in love?
Oh absolutely, 100%. I mean if you know me you already know that I have just ABSURD amounts of love in my heart and I genuinely believe that it exists.
41. Someone you hate/Dislike?
Wasn’t this already a question?
42. Are you okay?
Mostly, yeah. I have some stuff to work on but I’m honestly at the best i’ve ever been!
43. Relationship status?
I’m a Single Pringle
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