#ive been kind despite being on fire all the time

[mettatoniic]

wears my long, horror cardigan indoors: hehehe :) is fall. :)

[manicpixiefelix]

and other things that happened by the red staircase

{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }

Summary: Like with all events at Saltburn, you take great care to learn all you can about the guests for the upcoming Catton Family Reunion, to make sure you can make a good impression. You and Venetia, however, discover that Felix may be making too good of an impression on his recently un-estranged cousin.

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: felix fingering(/possibly going down on) his cousin but its not super explicit, reader having a social anxiety regarding the social event, venetia being kind of a nasty little perv i love her

A/N: 3841 words. this was meant to just be a little something about venetia and reader teasing felix after finding out he accidentally fingered his cousin, something i could write on my phone before bed. which i did but i didn't stop writing for 4 hours and it became too long for just an answer. also because there's a bunch of catton family lore ive invented and put it all in here.

also before any discourse arises, there's a character briefly mentioned here, Marv, who is an old butch lesbian who uses he/him pronouns. he is not trans, but chooses to use he/him, look into queer history if this bugs you, or go outside and off of my blog. you're reading the writing of an agender it/its lesbian, my blog is not a place for queer discourse, it's a place for being freaks about Jacob Elordi and Barry Keoghan.

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

It's been a particularly stressful event for you; so much of Felix's family is in attendance and you're desperate to impress them. It had been called a reunion, but nothing at Saltburn was ever so simple, nor so informal. As always you've prepared ahead of time; Duncan and Elspeth, as they always did, walked you briefly through the guest list, however unlike usual, instead of leaving you alone with the detailed dossier of guests, Elspeth herself had sat with you in one of the numerous studies - the lilac one - and gone through in meticulous detail. The family friends they refer to as cousins, the family they refuse to acknowledge beyond a handshake - and why. All the Catton branches and the gossip that haunts each. Things like how it's the first event in ten years that Sir James' estranged, illegitimate half-sister and her family were invited to. She's laughing, and you act like your nerves aren't on fire, like there isn't bile rising in your throat out of fear of the faux pars you could see on the horizon.

"Oh they're going to love you, darling," she assures. The minute she leaves you start nervous crying over the dossier, which quickly becomes an anxiety attack. It's been a very long time, especially since they'd kindly set up this system to alleviate your known anxieties, that you'd been this afraid of a dinner.

None of them can know.

You're almost eighteen, you're meant to be well past this, meant to have learned to cope with it by now.

On the night of the event, Farleigh's the only one looking as queasy as you feel - the family's pitying looks and grating questions have him going for a smoke break almost every five minutes. Still, Venetia's never without a drink in hand despite her mother's disapproving looks, and Felix is nowhere to be seen. At least at this family affair there's a number of people your own age. Many related, but many not - more friends of the family, or illegitimate offspring. Still, you don't want to put your preparations to waste, want to make a good impression.

There's mean laughter from by the fireplace as you find yourself in conversation with Sir James and his second cousin Barty, praising the man for his recent and lucrative foray into financially supporting broadcast television. James gives you and incredibly surprised and approving look, while Barty lights up with delight, claiming that there was hope for the young after all it seemed. Casting a glance to the fireplace, you see a few mean looking teens all watching you with sneers.

Barty asks how you found yourself here, and James pats you on the back before you can answer, claiming you as one of the wards of Saltburn; a good influence on his dear son, Felix. Pride flares in your chest. But you can still hear the teens call you a freak.

Its taking everything in you to not try and find sanctuary in the company of Felix, Venetia, or Farleigh. Its incredibly tempting, considering the abundance of desperate eye contact you and Farleigh especially are sharing, but you worry that if you don't keep face, don't put your information to use, don't remain visible to everyone in the room who you've convinced yourself are even tangibly related to Felix and his immediate family, every single one of them will hate you.

One day you will reckon with how profoundly your upbringing effected the expectations you place on yourself. Today is not that day. So you smile at Mildred Catton - by marriage, second cousin, young widow and now spinster. Well, she has a girlfriend, judging by the way Elspeth had spoken about her roommate of twenty-five years, and she has a kind and knowing smile as she compliments you - so beautiful, what a handsome young thing you are, oh you do remind me of Marv like this, back when we first met, of that's cute, you'd love him. Marv is short for Marvel Elizabeth, the butch woman who lives with Mildred and runs a bike shop and who you'd spent probably too much time looking at in the dossier, his arm around Mildred in her photo, both of them smiling so wide.

You kind of wish he was here. When you share the sentiment, Mildred looks a little crestfallen; you get the impression that not a lot of the Cattons share your feeling.

Still, talking to Mildred helps ease your nerves considerably. At least until you realise that it's been quite some time since you'd seen Felix.

You don't need him at all times... Don't need to know his whereabouts at every second of every day... But you've found yourself trapped in a conversation with a gaggle of the newer, younger, shinier wives of Felix's various uncles-something-times-removed, and one hadn't been updated in the dossier and you greeted her as the wife she'd replaced. So now you're mortified, like a deer in the headlights as they're all judging you, and you know you're on the verge of panicking or throwing up -

"Need to steal our lovely Y/N for a moment," Venetia, your saviour. She slips an arm in yours and doesn't wait for an answer.

"Venetia, dear -" Christie, owner of a failing fragrance business that she desperately doesn't want people to know is failing, but that her husband had drunkenly, forlornly confessed about to Sir James, barely get two truly disdainful words in before Venetia brightly throws over her shoulder -

"Love your dress, matches your roots, talk later Auntie Chris," and you can only imagine the flustered fury on Christie's face as the other women try not to compare the dark dress to the woman's dark roots peeking through her blonde hair. You, however, are gone speechless in your nauseous panic, and press yourself to Venetia's side as she pulls you through the crowd, "you looked about ready to kill yourself like one of those dishonoured samurai," she says quietly but casually.

"Yeah, that was the rough plan," you managed to joke weakly. Your heart was racing; you hated being like this. It takes you a moment to properly focus back in on the moment, and realise Venetia was dragging you along with considerable purpose, "are you okay?"

"I need your robot brain to help me decide if something's funny or just gross."

"My robot brain?"

"You know everyone here because - and I say this with love - you're a freak about these things-"

"Didn't know Iona," you muttered, once again horrified, gaze going glassy as all you can think about is how you called her Misha. Her husband had a type; models from northern countries and very little sense of humour, it seemed. Venetia snapped her fingers in your face, frowning, keeping your mind from wandering too far.

"They got married a month ago, you probably won't even see her again," she rolled her eyes, taking you by the shoulders, leading you from the main entertaining area towards the main parlous, "but the point is, I know we refer to everyone as Aunt or Uncle or Cousin or whatever, but I'm not even actually at all related to like half of them," Venetia pauses, looking at you very seriously, "but you know the difference, right? Like if I pointed to someone, you'd know how exactly they're here?"

"Uh, yeah, of course," it's who you were, it's what you did, "don't you?"

"Not," she visibly hesitates, gaze shifting to look around the room, "not really," she admits, they're all just, you know, family. There's always been too many to bother with the how or why of any of them, unless mum or dad felt it was important for me and Felix to keep in mind specifically," but after a beat she met your gaze with a wolfish grin, "or if it was particularly scandalous." Okay, you think you're starting to get her intentions.

"So who are you wondering about and why?"

The way Venetia was smiling could not possibly mean anything good.

"So," Venetia took you by the shoulders and steered you through the grand foyer towards the stairs, as if on her way to yours or Felix's room. Her voice had gotten quieter, conspiratorial, "I've been watching this unfold all night," she explains gleefully, "and I did think it was rather bold to be looking to get someone in bed at a family reunion, though I supposed that there is a good chance that they're not even related; as we've discussed, family is a rather loose, fond title for many of them here tonight," she's choosing her words incredibly carefully, skirting around her point for dramatic effect, "and," she stops in the doorway by the red staircase; you think you can hear faint moaning not too far away. Venetia's voice is a whisper, "I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt, considering I'm pretty sure I've actually never seen this girl in my life, so I can't say who she belongs to here."

Around the corner there's an attempt at a shushing that sounds more masculine, judging by the whisper of laughter that accompanies it, and a young woman's giggled apology, followed by a breathy gasp, and the faint sound of wood scraping against the marble floor. You and Venetia peer around the corner like the Hardy boys, you ducking down and her leaning over you.

The girl in question is leaning back against the antique, wooden end table at the end of the short hall, head throw back, chest heaving with wanton breathes. Wearing a flowing, green dress that looked almost like silk, but was clearly rayon when you had seen her up close earlier, you knew immediately who she was. More importantly, you were surprised to see someone in a suit on their knees in front of her, beneath her dress.

Alyssa Morelli has seemed absolutely out of her mind with boredom and disdain for this entire affair in the brief few moments you'd spent with her. Like you she was seventeen, and was the eldest daughter of Sir James' estranged half sister. Having barely any information about her, and also trying to focus on not losing your cool regarding that fact, it had made conversation, at least for you, incredibly difficult.

She hated the wine, hated her mother for dragging her along, hated the way rich people talked about nothing, and thought everything about Saltburn, the Cattons, and the entire night was a frivolous display of meaningless excess and wealth. Rich people are such freaks, she'd told you, with a look that clearly said that includes you, and she's finished another glass of champagne with one large gulp and a shudder. For a long moment you'd looked at her - perhaps you could have been a little less unnerving about it, but she'd caught you off guard - as you tried to think of something to say.

"I think you'd thrive at university," you blurt out. She gives you a look like you were some kind of unpleasant bug, having the audacity to continue speaking to her. One of the staff passes with a tray of more champagne, and you pluck two glasses off, handing one to her as you continued, "however I would be fascinated to hear your thoughts on the way our classicist society prioritises and celebrates formal tertiary education" you let your gaze roam, holding your glass in both hands with the tips of your fingers, a dead giveaway of your nerves without you even realising, but for some reason she's still letting you talk, "and the idea of the pursuit of knowledge without that being a financially sustainable life choice anymore if you do it the wrong way. Why celebrate scientists when we just disregard modern philosophers?" You take a sip of your champagne and try and tell yourself to shut up, "I know the answer's 'because you can't profit off of philosophers as easily as you can scientists', but it just kind of sucks, don't you think?"

A long, uncomfortable silence follows.

"I swear at least Felix, Farleigh, and Venetia aren't freaks," you blurted out. Alyssa's shoulders relaxed just a little. At least you were self aware.

"Who?" Its... less hostile. You point out Felix and Farleigh headed out for a cigarette with a few others around your age, and Alyssa sighs, rolling her eyes. She's still clearly got Catton blood in her, her eyes and nose even remind you of Venetia. Still, she headed towards the side door; even her walk seemed to ooze contempt for the night.

Now, watching her, moonlight peaking down the stairs to catch the way she's beginning to glow with sweat, white-knuckled grip on the dark wood and her once perfectly straight, dark hair turning curly with moisture around her face and by her shoulders, you're actually a little glad to see it. At least she seemed to have found one person not entirely unbearable.

You knew all too well how overwhelming and isolating these events could be. As much as you felt you could relate, you couldn't really understand what she'd be going through, her first time at an event like this, feeling that there's people in the room who truly think you and your family outright don't belong. She should take her fun where she can get it, you think.

Shoving Venetia back to give the couple their privacy, you push her back into the parlour.

"Who is that?" Venetia demanded in a whisper, eyes bright. You sigh, shaking your head.

"Alyssa, she hasn't been to something like this before, just let her have her fun," after a beat, you step in a little closer, hands finding Venetia's hips as you attempted to distract her, "you know we could -"

"Alyssa who?" It hasn't worked. Venetia takes your hands, "this is important." There's something that goes beyond mischief in her eyes.

"Morelli," but she makes a face like that's not enough, "Aunt June's daughter." Venetia frowned.

"Aunt June's daughter married one of those Dubai millionaires five years ago and hasn't sent her a single pound or even a message since."

"That's your Great Aunt June- Juniper," you clarified without missing a beat, "she's not even related to any of you; your mum doesn't know who she was initially tied to in the family." Venetia takes a few moments to give you a look of faint, disbelieving awe. Clearing your throat, you looked back over your shoulder as the suggestive noises around the corner were growing louder, "Estranged Aunt June."

Venetia's eyes lit up with what could only be described as malevolent glee.

"So she's my cousin."

"Yes."

"Actually? Blood and all? Not just one of my uncles' weird friends who's been hanging around for decades so now we have to call them family?"

"I'm beginning to get afraid of your intentions, Ven," despite your wary smile, you weren't really joking. Venetia completely disregards this, however, holding your shoulders so tightly it begins to hurt.

"That girl," she points sharply, the kind of intensity in her eyes that absolutely means trouble, "just around the corner, moaning like a whore, getting fingered, tongued, whatever -" she wets her lips in some kind of anticipation, "is my actual, blood related cousin? And you're entirely sure of that?"

Taking a deep breath, unsure of what the repercussions of this all will be, you slowly nod.

"Yes..."

Venetia steps back, has to clap her hands over her mouth to muffle her positively gleeful laughter. For some unexpected reason, this piece of information seems to be some of the best news she's ever received in her life. It almost brings her to tears. After she calms down, you think you hear her mutter something along the lines of I'm never letting him live this down as she fans herself, attempting to calm herself.

"Ven, are you okay?" Still utterly confused about what any of this means, you can't help the concern you feel. Venetia's nodding, fighting back aftershocks of giggles, gazing often at the doorway.

"Yes, I- you're wonderful, thank you for helping me with that-" overcome by another, brief fit of giggles, it takes her a moment to compose herself, "I love you and your robot brain so very dearly -"

"Oh my god~" from around the corner, and another, louder shush. Venetia buries her face in her hands, echoing oh my god as she chokes on laughter once more. When she resurfaces, face bright red with amusement, you take her hand and try to insist that you should give them privacy.

"Yes, of course," Venetia agrees, suddenly trying to appear as serious as she's able, "I just have one other favour to ask you."

"What?" You ask flatly, unsurprisingly wary, watching her struggle not to grin.

"Could you tell my brother?"

The question hangs in the air for a long, confusing moment.

"Tell him what?"

"That Alyssa's our cousin."

"Sure...?" you frowned a little, peering over her shoulders, "I don't know where he is though, I haven't seen him in a while." Venetia smiles like the Cheshire Cat.

Oh... no... she isn't implying -? But Alyssa's timing is unfortunately perfect.

"Oh my god, Felix~"

Your mouth drops open in shock upon hearing that.

"Oh my God," you groaned, pained by the realisation as your face scrunched up with sudden understanding and disappointment, "Felix."

Venetia is absolutely right, he's never living this down.

"You had me prattling on for fucking ages about nothing, just letting them go at it all the while? You could have just asked!" You hissed, already mortified on his behalf.

"You're letting them go at it now!" She crowed quietly, and ah, fuck. Yeah, she had a point there.

Rounding the corner briskly, you cross your arms but at the very least keep your gaze to the floor.

"Felix -" you clear your throat.

"Oh, fuck off," Alyssa, seeing it's you, groans with frustration. There's movement beneath her dress when you glance up; there's something almost comical about knowing what you're seeing is Felix sitting up straighter under there.

"I know that's you, Y/N," Felix had enough dignity to not sound ashamed or caught out. But he should, "just, yeah mate, could you fuck off a bit?" Its not a particularly sharp request, and if this were any other situation, of course you'd obligingly fuck off. However...

"Well don't fucking stop," Alyssa hisses to him, sounding almost embarrassed by the fact that he was giving you the time of day right now, "seriously, fuck off!" She tries to whisper-shout, but halfway through her voice turns to an unsteady moan and her head falls back against the wall again, "OhmygodFelix~" she whines, bringing one of her legs up over his shoulder.

"So should I wait until after you get her off to tell you?"

"Tell him what you little pervert?" Alyssa, furious at your refusal to leave, demands.

"Hey, be nice to them," you hear, vaguely muffled from under her skirt. You have to snort a laugh.

"Thanks Fi, I'll just tell you now, uh," you can't look at them in this moment, fighting off your embarrassed smile at you look to the ceiling, "I don't think this is what your dad meant when he suggested you get to know Aunt June's kids; this might be too welcoming for your recently un-estranged cousin."

Around the corner you hear Venetia cackling like a banshee, clearly having been eavesdropping.

Felix scrambles back from under Alyssa's dress, looking an absolute mess.

"You what?"

"Oh my god." There's nothing lewd about it this time, Alyssa herself sounds absolutely fucking mortified.

----

The next morning, over breakfast, the mood is... strained. Its Sir James who breaks the ice, brightly - though it's clearly forced - commenting on how the night took such an unexpected and unfortunate turn. Felix, who likely doesn't even remember the end of the night considering how thoroughly plastered he got after his unfortunate affair with his cousin, looks to his father very suddenly, the sudden fear in his eyes about what his parents may know hidden by his large, dark glasses. He'd threatened to drown himself in the lake if you or Venetia told anyone, but his memory got fuzzy from there. The hangover that he's half worried might actually kill him doesn't help.

"Such a shame," Elspeth sighed, "I would have thought June would raise them better than that."

"Estranged Aunt June's daughter, Alyssa," you leaned over to Felix to stage whisper the context to him, half worried the paranoia might kill him there at the table. Venetia does however feel the need to smugly butt in and remind him -

"Our biological cousin."

"Apparently convinced her younger brothers to riot and start breaking all the crockery," you finished. Felix frowned in vague confusion, a feeling which Farleigh seemed to share.

"And it was so unnecessary, like she knew it was the first family thing her mom had been invited to in a decade -"

"She hates rich people and thinks we're freaks," you sat back, shrugging, "she told me so herself."

"Who, June?" Sir James sounded downright heartbroken at the idea, so you quickly shook your head.

"Alyssa." It seems to alleviate some of his concerns, but not a lot, and Sir James goes back to his breakfast still looking rather put out.

"Well maybe," Venetia leans her elbows on the table, bread knife in hand that she was using to flippantly gesture with, "there's some rich people that she should hate," her gaze and smug smile lands on you, as does the nonchalant way she's pointing with her knife, right before she flicks her wrist as if pointing at her brother by pure chance, "and some of us who are freaks."

Felix glared down at his breakfast.

"I don't know why we un-estranged Aunt June in the first place," he grumbled mostly to himself, though not quiet enough that the rest of the table didn't hear. Sir James sighed with disappointment.

"I think in future we may have to limit June's invitations to only her and her husband," he says, shaking his head. Elspeth kindly tells him that it's probably for the best.

Venetia, still apparently feeling petty, threw a bread roll at her brother, who hadn't looked up from where he seemed to be trying to divine life's secrets from his plate of sausages. It glances off his forehead, but knocks his glasses loose and into his breakfast. A second later Felix officially gives up and follows suit, faceplanting into his food.

"Oh my god, Felix!" His mother gasps with concern.

Despite Elspeth sounding nothing like Alyssa had the night before, the familiar phrase sets Venetia off, cackling with laughter at the top of her lungs. While the rest of the table is utterly confused by the series of events that have just occurred, you scoot your chair over close to Felix, patting him sympathetically on the back. Beneath the table, he rests his hand on your knee to give a grateful squeeze. When he talks, only you can hear it, resigned and half muffled by scrambled eggs.

"Hate this family."

[strawberryshortcake1495]

Stranger Falls AU 10

Excerpt from Journal 3:

All my grandnephew’s fears are unfounded. All I feel towards him is love and pride. He is a wiser man at twelve thirteen than I was at thirty. He has an incredible future ahead of him, his mother would’ve been so proud.

Speaking of parents, I learned from Stanley that Dipper and Mabel are adopted, and that their parents had tried to keep it a secret from them in order to protect their “innocence”. I do wonder about their biological mother, Terry Ives. That poor woman, I hope she didn’t feel any pain in her final moments.

Looking back on my own catastrophic mistakes, I realize one great pattern in all my follies. I thought being a great man meant being alone. Apart from the crowd. I bristled at the idea of sharing my accomplishments with anyone. I shunned my brother for one dumb mistake, and I shunned Fiddleford for having the sense to try to stop me from dooming the world. Even when I was given a second chance, I still held others at a distance. If I had been able to widen my circle of trust… if I had just told everyone about the prophecy sooner… we might have gathered everyone together and banished Bill before he was able to strike. I just couldn't get over the idea of myself as the lone hero… and it was Stanley who paid the price.

"Trust No One"

What an absurd and paranoid idea. Trust shouldn't be given unconditionally, but it should be given a chance to be earned. There is strength in having the humility to work with and sacrifice for others- a strength I now realize was in my brother all along.

Stanley Pines was the man who saved the world, not me. I spent so long thinking he was a selfish jerk, and he turned out to be the most selfless man I've ever met in any dimension. If I'm totally honest, I must admit that he's a hero and I'm… a hero's brother. And I'm okay with that. Thank goodness he is recovering his wonderfully twisted mind. And I vow to spend the rest of my days making things right between us…If only he gives me a chance. . . .

It is a beautiful summer day. Everyone is packing for their respective futures, but I have found my mind drifting to how lovely the cloudless sky looks beneath the August sun. I've spent too long with my head in a book; it's time to look at the world- and people- around me once more.

But what to do with these journals? They've been created, destroyed, lost, found, buried, and burned, and yet, somehow, despite everything, they remain here like a curse I cannot escape. I had suggested to Dipper that because of all the misfortune caused by them, we burn them in the last campfire of the summer. Mabel, Soos, & Stan all seemed very excited by this notion. But Dipper had a better idea: we burn all my Bill Cipher artifacts instead. So we did. My scrolls, carpets, window… everything I'd ever collected with Bill went into the fire. We made s'mores and told stories until sunrise. It was Mabel who ultimately came up with the best solution of what to do with the journals….

And so here we are at the Bottomless Pit, a mystery of Gravity Falls that I still have never fully solved. Based on my investigations, tossing these journals inside could land them just about anywhere. They may end up in the center of the Earth, being devoured by a subterranean dinosaur, or in another dimension, or somehow in the hands of another curious young mind whose adventure has just begun… perhaps someone who will find secrets in this book that were hidden even from me…

And that brings us to you, dear reader. If you are holding this book in your hands, you hold something more than a record of the curious happenings of a town called Gravity Falls. You hold a record of one man's folly and the journey of his family who saved him from himself. It's never too late to learn that growing old doesn't have to mean growing up.

Stay curious, stay weird, stay kind, and don't let anyone ever tell you you aren't smart or brave or worthy enough. If you have come on these adventures with us, then you are an honorary member of the Pines family, and your adventure starts today.

And if anyone ever gets in your way- well, we have an entire section on Curses. Have at it. For the last time, unless we meet in some distant world, this is Stanford Pines, signing off.

THE END

[aphroditelovesu]

(no longer updated)

masterlists || rules and fandoms list || wip’s list || prompt’s lists || love letters || disclaimer: some of my works may have nsfw content in addition to the yandere genre. if you are sensitive to these topics, I recommend not reading.

© aphroditelovesu, 2022. all rights reserved. do not translate or repost my work without my permission. you are free to use my edits, but I only ask that you credit me.

�� genre: yandere/dark au.

✿.｡ requests are CLOSED/asks and concept are always open.彡 rules and fandoms 彡 emoji prompt list 彡 prompts list 彡 kinktober 2023 masterlist 彡 wip’s list: I, II, III, IV, V ✿.｡

⤷ BTS :  💜

⤷ BLACKPINK : 🖤

⤷ ITZY : 🧡

⤷ Stray Kids : 💙

‘‘Love you so bad, love you so bad, mold a pretty lie for you.’‘

⤷ Greek Mythology : ⚡

⤷ Egyptian Mythology : 𓂀

⤷ Historical Characters : 📜

‘‘We are the lovesick girls, you can’t just end this love on your own.’‘

⤷ The Vampire Diaries/The Originals : 🧛

⤷ House of the Dragon : 🐉

⤷ Game of Thrones : ❄️

⤷ The Sandman : ⌛

⤷ Outlander : 🗿

⤷ Wednesday : 🎻

⤷ Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir : 🐞

⤷ Brooklyn Nine-Nine : 👮‍♂️

⤷ Bridgerton : 🐝

⤷ Shadow and Bone : ☠️

⤷ Outer Banks : 💰

‘‘Yeah, we were born to be alone but why we still looking for love?’‘

⤷ Percy Jackson : 🌊

⤷ Harry Potter : 🔮

⤷ A Court of Thorns and Roses : 🌹

⤷ A Song of Ice and Fire : 🔥

‘‘Love it’s so mad, love it’s so mad, trying to erase myself and make me your doll.’‘

⤷ Attack On Titan : 🗡

‘‘I’m the one I should love in this world.’‘

⤷ Marvel : ۞

‘‘I finally realized so I love me, not so perfect but so beautiful.’‘

‘‘Dearest (Y/N),

We are very happy to hear that you are back with us. It's been so long since we could hold you that we even forgot the feeling. We missed you during your absence and were almost worried to death when we learned of your disappearance. You almost had us dead! Don't ever do it again or you'll see the consequences and you know they won't be good. Or will they be? Only time will tell.

For now, we'll just leave you this letter as a reminder. But don't worry, you have a lot of letters to read and more will follow. We will send them with all the passion of a writer completely in love with its muse.

With love,

Your yanderes completely in love with you.’’

⤷ Love Letters : 💕

⤷ Love Letters II : 💕

‘‘Don’t you know that you’re toxic?’’

Thank you all so much for the kind comments and for supporting my writing despite my english not being the best. I love you all! ❤️ All the best to you guys and stay hydrated!!

₊˚.✦*:･there a̶r̶e̶✧乀✿one of☆˚˖੭ those days•.꒰˖days whe̶n̶ I✧ৎ⋆s u d d e n t l y feel♡.*⊱all a̶l̶o̶n̶e̶❛ ━ :❘❘↴when i feel˘.+*✦like I d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ !¡❞♕‵̤ belong anywhere.:✧°whenever t̶h̶o̶s̶e̶ days°⊹come, you+tell⋆̥˚̣̣̣͙❞me❀⊰｡how p̶r̶e̶c̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ i am▾₊˚i become a.✩*⊹very special me₊˚.*:you make m̶e̶˘.+*feel s p e c i a l¸*.❀

⤷ cited songs: Fake Love ;; Lovesick Girls ;; Epiphany ;; Toxic ;; Feel Special

[tf2shit]

Ive been reading so many fanfics w the blu team involved, and they’re always stated as diff people yet the look identical, so now tryna make a new BLU team to imagine alongside the silly 9 men we all know and love.

ive got some notes written down but ive hit a loss on Scout n Spy, anyone caught any cool takes on em they wanna share?

Scout - Rebecca : 28 : 🇮🇹

Soldier - Mary-Elizabeth Adams : 45 : 🇨🇦

Just as war crazy as her counterpart, she has set out to honour her country and make up for their losses, she believes in killing with nothing but tough-love, kindness and honesty, something her idiot counterpart could never hope to do. For outsiders, she sure seems like a standup gal, sweet as honey, however her teammates are painfully aware, that no matter how happy she seems, deep down, all she feels is immense rage, and she will find a way to express it, ‘kindly’.

Pyro - ? : ? : ?

Silent as ever, BLU’s pyromaniac is not as childish as RED’s, being a known criminal for several fire related crimes, including slaughtering an entire firehouse. However they seem to have a very real fear of water.

Demoman - Bonnie Wells : 62 : 🇨🇦

Tired, cranky, and violent, this old lady only agreed to the job to pay for her retirement, though, don’t get her wrong, she definitely enjoys killing unsuspecting men, but she’s done it so many times, at this point, she’d rather be asleep. She’s always looking to insult anyone she can.

Heavy - Zuri : 51 : 🇯🇲

A bubbly, talkative old woman, always having something to say about someone in her own colourful way. She’s quite sweet when need be, but honestly, she’d rather beat everyone’s head in and call it a day.

Engineer - Hiroyi Nakano : 47 : 🇯🇵

An engineering prodigy, her father being CEO of a newer engineering company, she’s not only got a wealthy background in money, but also engineering knowledge. She puts the conagher name to shame, making the two engineers obvious rivals. She is kind, humble, and energetic, smart enough to know her job is below others’ work, however, that does not negate her immense intelligence, something she is well aware of. She’s just kind enough to keep that side of her hidden, unless that ugly spy rears his head around her…

Medic - Carol : 35 : 🇺🇸 

An arrogant, stuck up, know it all of a field medic. Despite the kind persona, BLU medic cares very little about the condition of her patients or teammates. Coming from a rich family, medic acquired any medical talents and/or official documentation from her parents, who spoil her rotten she’s quite used to getting near everything she wants, and you better believe, she still does.

Sniper - Theoris : 36 : 🇪🇬

Speaking very little english, BLU Sniper usually keeps to herself, to focus on her weird taxidermy and beloved weapons. One with the wilderness, she sees her job as hunting wild animals, and thus, she treats them as such. Keeps her distance, and is cautious when approached by either the other team or her own. The only one that appears human to her is the old demoman, making them quite the pair.

Spy - ? : 57? : 🇪🇸

yes they are all women, fight me.

[313i]

i did the blorbo bingo with edling :3

ramble / explanations for my writing under cut!

for ling:

most fandom takes are incorrect: maybe it’s just me but ive seen a decent amount of people make ling out to be a pervert or just reduce him to a stupid silly character. ling yao is NOT A PERVERT! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM! he would never even do HALF OF THE THINGS YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!! and he is so far from just being a funny guy that makes the audience laugh. his motives and character as a whole are so incredibly strong and i’ve never been so fascinated with a character like ling yao. please give him more attention.

that also goes hand in hand w/ stop putting them in situations!!: he would not be looking up girls skirts or something 🙁 be kind to him i think he deserves the world also. the cast of fma consists of a bunch of 14-16 year olds who traveled across the world to fulfill what they feel is their destiny but they end up on a journey of pain and suffering instead. they are children they should be playing roblox and minecraft and brain rotting like me ……….. i need a 500 chapter fic of ling being happy and joyous and eating all the wonderful meat in amestris.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOT ENOUGH CANON / UNDERRATED: as much as i love greedling and understand the combo … i wish ling got more screentime alone separate from greed. he is really such an interesting and unique character with a banging design and sometimes i feel greed robbed him of his iconic features (his yellow jacket & sword) and people just forget that greedling exists because ling was strong enough to withstand the homunculus in his system + LING IS THE BODY!!! he is serving that facecard and body 24/7 because that’s all ling yao!!! i still do really like greedling because they have a lot of room for interaction but i feel like ling yao is one of the characters who is often forgotten when it comes to merch n whatnot. he’s not as much of a main character as ed of course but he is just forgotten!! he is really such a cool character i wish there was more of him everywhere

there’s probably a deep seated reason why i love him: yes. because he is me and i am him (not really). i just project onto him and he is just me at this point! i will forever be such a huge ling yao fan the first time i watched fmab i instantly got attached to him i am so happy he is alive. i hope being the king of the yao clan is treating him well though he didn’t look to happy in that one photo of him as emperor….. it’s a tough job so i get it man! i hope he explodes

for edling:

pretty privilege: they are both pretty. brotherhood art style is a bit inconsistent at times i feel but their designs are both so gorgeous (their colors complement one another!). and also the bloodhell episode. ling yao fighting envy with his cool sword and handsome face…. ed somehow still looking pretty despite all the traveling and fighting. they are pretty!!!

projection had entered the chat: well, yes! who doesn’t project onto their faves??? :p

don’t typically discuss irl because of fandom: more and more people nowadays seem to forget fma franchise as a whole 🙁 it makes me so sad because this series is so fire and i wish it would keep its popularity but it obviously makes sense that more relevant shows and animes will overtake its light. i’m also afraid most people don’t like edling (edling nation consists of like 10 people) so i just don’t really talk about fma irl at all! no one here has a Fullmetal heart..

everything else is just me wanting to bite them (lovingly) and stuff them in my pocket and hold them in the palm of my hands to show them off to the world. i do not actually want to plot their demise and i am not actively doing so. i would put them in a wood chipper in a loving manner

for ed:

has done nothing wrong: he’s innocent, your honor… everything he’s ever done has been for his family. he’s committed a huge taboo in the alchemy world by trying human transmutation but him and al just wanted their moms back. they were TOO YOUNG TO BE ORPHANS AND HAVE TO GROW UP WITHOUT THEIR MOTHERS LOVE! he ended up becoming a dog for the military but he had to do what he had to do to get closer to that philosopher stone… in 03 he did end up taking some lives too i think. he’s only 15 and never intended to Actually murder someone. seeing him after the greed scene is so incredibly heartbreaking. 03 and cos are such horrific renditions of fma (in a good way) and it makes me so sad to think that’s how he ended up??? he had so much hope as a little kid and was so full of life but by 18 he’s stranded from the last bit of family he knew and is left a depressed alcoholic who keeps losing people. edward elric has done nothing wrong..

there’s probably a deep seated reason why i love him: even from the outside HE IS SUCH A COOL CHARACTER. a character who canonical has prosthetic limbs is already so cool. knowing the story behind those limbs and his brother is so 🙁☹️☹️… his iconic red jacket!!! his LEATHER PANTS WITH HIS PLATFORM BOOTS? his striking gold eyes and bright blonde hair? how he wears his stupid pocket watch…. his dumbass belt… i love edward elric’s flamboyant style so much i’ve never seen a more bi-coded character ever. i love everything about his design and his personality is unlike most shonen anime protags and that adds to his charm. he is hot-headed and will bite your head off if you comment on his height or call him pipsqueak but he is still such a sharp and intelligent young man .. He is literally an Alchemy God…. he is so capable even at such a young age and carries himself so well because if i were him i would be breaking down crying every step of the way! he is dedicated and loyal to his cause of finding the philosophers stone to return their bodies back to normal and doesn’t even hinder once throughout the journey. he loves his brother dearly and it makes me so joyous to see a strong sibling relationship in this genre that isn’t Weird. Edward Elric is a fire character thank you for listening to my TedTalk

[empresskadia]

Round 5 because I hyperfixate easily, and I think all the Spartans deserve kisses. My Achilles Heel is falling in love with fictional women. Anyway, hear me out:

-

Since the firing range had been down for maintenance, Linda-058 had been noticeably less enthused. Without being able to use Nornfang, she had quickly grown to be bored. So, thinking quickly, you suggested that she'd trying a game of accuracy or two. She wasn't very fond of pool, but she loved darts.

It was cute to see the concentration spread across her face before every throw of a dart. Part of you wondered if that was what it was like when she was behind a scope - the regal, calm, collected grace of the Sniper Goddess. When she turned to you and the red of your face, she gave you a playful wink. She won again, of course, but you got the consolation prize of a loving kiss from Spartan-058.

-

Kelly-087 has a tendency to steal your casual clothes. Even though most of your clothes don't exactly fit her, she will wear them. You'd be losing your mind looking for that sweater you could've sworn you had a week ago only for her to barge in with a guilty smile and returning it because "it doesn't smell like you anymore!" 

She tends to do this when you or her are busy, and she doesn't get to see you as much as she would like. John caught her wearing one of your hoodies once, when Blue Team was on back-to-back missions, and she hadn't seen you in a month. Kelly nearly tackled you when she got to see you again.

-

In public, Cal-141 acts as expected of her and her reputation as a Spartan-II. But, in the privacy of your quarters, she lets the walls down and basks in the freedom of being her true self. It doesn't matter how long you've been together. Everything you do together is like the first time for her, and it never fails to fluster her.

Slow dancing together, cuddling, holding hands - she loves it all. By far, her favorite thing to do is to compare the sizes of your hands. It never fails to make Cal blush, and if you weave your fingers with hers and kiss the top of her hand afterward? She'll be red in the face thinking about it for the rest of the day.

-

Your relationship with Sarah Palmer was sort of an open secret aboard the Infinity. Despite you and the Commander doing your best to keep your relationship under wraps, it was obvious to observers. Every other Spartan under her command respected the hell out of her but were kind of afraid of her. Sarah was only this gentle with you and you alone.

One time, Captain Lasky had found her going over your gear before one of your missions with Fireteam Majestic, and he laughed at how quickly she turned red, stuttering excuses for messing with your armor at 0200. Roland will never let her hear the end of it.

-

I've been waiting to read this, also same, all the Spartans deserve kisses and hugs and someone to love them so much that they're kinda shocked by it but omg gets excited to be with their partner, anyways-

Linda is skeptical when her partner drags her to Spartan Town's activity room and hands her a case of darts. She understands the concept of them and has seen the IVs play, but she isn't sure why they would insist on her playing. Until she actually starts throwing them. Yeah, it's not firing off Nornfang but she's having fun figuring out how to adjust her aim every time she moves back. And she's not complaining when the reward of kisses because you both know she's gonna win.

Blue team 100% gives Kelly shit for stealing her partner's clothes, and she could care less. It's comfortable, and it's not her fault they can't rizz someone up. The rest of the team can tell when Kelly wants to see her partner because she gets restless and is practically hopping between one feet and the next during missions.

I just adore the idea of Cal getting flustered over someone loving her. She's heard Maria-062 talk about retiring and having a family, and she remembers all the other spartans looking at her weirdly. But Cal gets it now. Yes, there are things she doesn't always understand with relationships, but every time her partner kisses her hand or calls her beautiful, it feels like the first time for her.

Everyone is gonna know because of Roland. That AI is the number one shipper, and he's a snoop. But also Roland is a wingman. If Sarah and her partner are having a moment, sorry, spartan that area of the ship is down for maintenance. Even if it wasn't for the AI, all the IVs see how Sarah's shoulders relax when you enter the room during war game or how her eyes always scan the room and settle on you before giving her fireteams crap. And Lasky? He's loving this because he gets to tease her endlessly with Roland.

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry bout this thing but I kinda wanted to tell my thoughts about your stuff. Im kind of hoping this will get drowned in your inbox honestly, since this is just a really long unsolicited rant of mine.

Sometimes when i scroll through your account and I encounter csa, incest and mentions of suicide in your posts I get uncomfortable but then I remember that one phrase that goes something like "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" and I just feel kinda bad bout myself.

When I was a kid my nannys bf forced me to kiss him in the lips whenever we met. I was 6. It was uncomfortable. I never did tell my nanny about it. My parents are both police people and my mother had long explained the concept of rape and how unconsensual touch is bad and you shouldnt allow that but something prevented me from telling anyone what was happening. I dont know why. I know they would immiedietly jail that guy if they did but somehow it felt like no one would believe me. I never told them until now, then when I was what, 6-8 years old? I cant even remember. Yeah somewhere around that, he molested me when my nanny was few feet away and asleep and for the next 4 years of my life i felt dirty. Desecrated. Stupid. I couldnt even look down at my naked body when i shower back then, but somehow I managed to trudge on living by trying to forget the fact it happened. Its been 8 years since Ive last seen him. Ive told anyone who I knew who doesnt care enough to be friends with me but cared enough to listen about it but my Parents are none the wiser and i plan on keeping it that way.

Also. Im a year away from being legal now. Ive thought about killing myself or just generally not wanting to exist anymore many times since then, cuz lifes equipped with motolov cocktails of "get fucked dumbass" and i somehow managed to get a coupon for at least a million of them.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

Coming back to the phrase i mentioned earlier, it feels weird whenever i feel something similar to the feeling of being triggered while looking at csa being depicted. By definition, i would be considered a victim, and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont. I see your art and it guts me. It guts me and the fact that it does also guts me, because what does that mean? I am supposed to be the comforted? Despite the fact that I was taken advantage of as a child and spent night after might thinking how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equiped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children? So i do I correspond more with those who are defined as comforted then, was i not disturbed after all? Was i victimizing myself all along? Am I a bad person for thinking i was? No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

And then it repeats.

I still go through your blog because well, i love tmnt, i love your artstyle, i love the way you tell stories, I love how you dont sugar coat csa, incest and other darker topics like body horror, erotism and sadism, i hate how much it haunts me, i love the fact i can relate, i hate how much you hurt them, i love the fact that you dont hold back, i love how you show the ugly sides of healing, i love how you depict how much people can change and struggle. Its comforting to me. Its discomforting to me. I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

And i like it. I like it somehow, like taking a nice smoke break when you have mild asthma, but like, better. Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

But yeah. Tldr. Sorry for the trauma dump and your art makes me feel complicated. Its neat 👍

lot to reply to here! also, unfortunately for you, i check my inbox obsessively and dont get nearly as many asks as you seem to believe i do.

so firstly, no snappy saying is meant to encompass all of human experience, and you certainly shouldn't judge yourself for not fitting into it. easier said than done, i know, but still. i'm gonna try to address some things here, not gonna touch on all of it, but just know that i appreciate you sitting down to write me this.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

it made me smile, but i laughed at this, because it's a very sweet look into you writing this. puts into perspective how, even though this is public, it was written TO me. like a letter in victorian times or something. that's sweet, i like that.

and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont.

you're making a lot of assumptions here that are kind of wild in that "this thought process was clearly designed by your mind to upset you specifically" sort of way. I mean, would you say this to literally anyone else when they feel uncomfortable or triggered about viewing media that relates to their trauma? There's really no telling what a survivor will feel comforted by and you aren't Doing It Wrong by having a different reaction.

there's a reason i tag it as "csa tw" and that's so people can AVOID it as well as search it up.

how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equipped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children?

i know you recognize at the end of the thought process that this is not true, but i feel the need to reiterate: there is no such thing as being less vulnerable than other children through your own actions. you can try to equip kids with knowledge that might protect them, but that doesn't make them any less vulnerable.

my dad told me about rape and molestation all the time, but he never accounted for the kinds of scenarios i was actually the most likely to fall victim to, partly because i don't think he actually knew much about childhood sexual abuse, and partly because he was more obsessed with the idea of me being kidnapped and raped/murdered than he was about forms of sexual abuse he'd consider more "mild"

No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

i can't answer that one, unfortunately. personally, i like to feel gutted, it's cathartic to me. might be something like that to you, based on how you go on to describe it, but you might also be doing some kinda self harm.

I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

saaaaame. i triggered myself into a breakdown in class once cuz i'd been reading fucked fanfiction before class and i got SAD lol.

Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

we are shaking hands over this.

anywho, no need to apologize! i am glad, if nothing else, to provide you with a strange and upsetting experience that is not entirely bad.

I really do adore hearing how my stuff makes people feel. it's like, a solid one third of the reason i do this. i still make stuff that doesn't exist to be shown off but WOW showing shit off and getting a response feels FANTASTIC. like, i'm in your head now!! you have been CHANGED by my ART. it's maybe the best part of being alive.

[harrypotterfuryroad]

Im still not sure about the predstrogen thing, I've seen many people say there wasnt nsfw selfies on their blog (I have no idea whats true) and they were banned for a set of selfies that were (as ive seen them passed around) obviously just innocent, regular pics, specifically showing their transition before and after. I think staff was unreasonable to go scorched earth on this one person, especially considering it went all the way up to the CEO for fairly benign behavior - their "threat" was basically saying "ugh i hope staff dies in a looney tunes explosion" out of frustration, which isnt a credible threat to me, just blowing smoke. Ppl have been saying theres a conspiracy to mass report transwomen's blogs which i cant tell what is true, they seem to be getting flagged for nsfw content, but that means someone is intentionally reporting their blog - the culprit is "TERFs" of course... I havent seen radfems waste much time with reporting TIM blogs just for coexisting on tumblr, usually ive seen radfem tumblr try and do a reporting campaign for someone sending death threats to radfems, that kind of misconduct you know....but someone must have flagged their blog in the first place somehow. a mysterious and convaluted situation methinks

yeah obv there's a difference between what he said and like, posting a detailed plan about how to make that happen, but bottom line is that it still passed the threshold of a threat and he's not the one responsible for keeping the rules on this site

staff might not have had to go scorched earth on him but he was (and i mean this in the most literal sense and not at all metaphorically or in a victim blaming way) asking for it

but of course this is just gonna feed the narrative that tims on this site are uniquely victimized despite having every corner of the community tiptoeing around their feelings (and despite the fact that they are far from the only people who get randomly or wrongfully terminated)

like, this is how it's getting spun:

like warped beyond recognition to support their story that "transfems" are the first and only people to face this kind of treatment

so everything is about to become way more transphobic pretty soon (in that everything will be labeled as transphobia, not that anything will actually change)

and about harassment campaigns - yeah i've never seen anything close to a "terf" mass report campaign, but i have seen users get targeted by mass reporting for really dumb reasons, i get worse anons than the threat that kicked this off almost every day, and i've seen the radfem tags clogged by coordinated campaigns to make it so they'll never be functional, so i think that's a bit of hit dogs hollering. if your only answer to anything is mass report campaigns, then you'll tell yourself that's what's happening to you when something bad happens. so yeah like you said it's very conspiracy theory

interesting tho when you factor in what he dropped about the "transphobic" mod - we've kept hearing about the secret terf on staff for forever with little to no evidence, and then he just casually drops that yeah they had to fire someone on their mod team for being transphobic. no detail so it's not really much to go off of, and it's not like that really shielded anyone from bizarro mod practices, and i've still never been able to find evidence of the secret terf on staff beyond "someone on the mod team liked a post about hufflepuff traits" but i'm sure they're gonna take that admission and run with it

[purplehanfu]

hi! you came up on my recommended and i really need to kno whos the guy in your profile pic cuz i feel like ive watched the drama but im failing to recall which drama exactly 😔 many thanks in advance!

It's the incomparable Wang Duo!

Here he is in my favorite drama of all time, Bloody Romance.

He is such a good actor but his career has been one step forward, one step back if you know what I mean. He was in Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity, which we all loved. But he was also in the sequel which got shelved due to Deng Lun getting cancelled. He was in Night Wanderer which also got shelved due to the male lead being the aforementioned Deng Lun. He was in Graduation Season which was cancelled because of Crystal Jung (South Korean actress) initially but will never be revived because of, you guessed it, Deng Lun. He was in a League of Nobleman which did get released but his part was cut down due to the crackdown on BL. Yes, I know that novel was not technically BL, but it was shot in that golden moment post-The Untamed when a million BL projects started. And you cannot deny- it did seem to be heavily implied that his character Gu Qingzhang had something going on with Lan Jue. But I digress. He was in Sword and Fairy 4 where he out-acted many of his co-stars despite the fact that he spent half his screen time encased in a chunk of ice.

But enough of the bad- what's good? He will be in the upcoming Hero Legends (with Cheng Yi and Xiao Shunyao!), Fangs of Fortune (Edward Guo joint although our boy is only a guest star) and The Immortal Ascension which stars Yang Yang and will, let's be real, probably be kind of a dumpster fire. Anyway.

It's Wang Duo. The guy on my banner and pfp is Wang Duo.

[sankttealeaf]

16, 17, and 19 for Rue?

of course!!!! answering these character asks!

16. Is there any memes or running jokes associated with the character, both in- and out of universe?

in universe:

the tadpole gang refuse to let her cook because they saw her eating dwarf meat ONE time and they will continue to bring it up

rue: i'm so hungry i could eat a-

everyone: a dwarf??

also, being a sorcerer she and gale have very different ways of casting spells so rue will sometimes (in the early days of her crush on him) go up to him and be like "gale, i dont know how to cast fireball. can you help me?" despite casting it half an hour ago in combat (she just wants to hear him talk!!)

the others pick up on this and tease her about it. astarion and karlach are the WORST and rue gets so embarrassed whenever they go up to gale to be like "gale 🥺 please help us cast spells 🥺 please kiss me afterwards 🥺🥺"

(she "accidentally" catches them in her next aoe spell she casts as payback)

out of universe:

i cant remember how it came to be but despite rue having tav 4's voice (soft spoken and posh) @kaleido-scope-lady mentioned rue having a scouse accent and there have been a few dramatic readings of various fics of mine with scouse!rue (and yorkshire!gortash) and its hilarious. rip rue you wouldve loved living in liverpool (ive never been. couldnt tell u what its like up there)

17. Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way?

dog motif is a big one!

bhaal's loyal pup.

gortash's attack dog.

a feral beast who needs to be put down.

ketheric calls her gortash's dog and she loses her mind.

raphael makes a comment about how gortash ought to have a stronger hold on her leash and she wants to rip into the devil there and then

gortash calls her bhaal's perfect little pet and she growls at him.

she looks in the mirror and sees a loyal dog who sits and begs for love from men who will never give it to her.

she bites and she bites and she bites

despite the murder flowing through her veins she wants to be good and if that means muzzling herself, so be it.

there's also several songs with dog imagery on her playlist (im your man - mitski, bet on losing dogs - mitski, dog years - halsey, that unwanted animal - the amazing devil (counts because animal imagery), saint bernard - lincoln, it will come back - hozier)

something about loyalty, hopeless devotion to beings who use her for their own gain. a farmer has a dog to protect its livestock. gortash has rue to help him up the social ladder of the gate. bhaal has rue to kill in his name, to breed in his name, to sow fear in his name.

she'll sit and be submissive and follow orders because it will get her affection. a pat on the head. a kiss on the cheek. they'll want her because she's useful. she'll always be useful because then they cant replace her.

she's good and will sit and stay and only bite when asked to. give her time and she will curl by the fire. put her down because it's kinder than watching her suffer. that's how orin saw it.

19. What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?

there's hope throughout her story.

hope that things will get better. things will change. it will hurt and it will be painful but it will get better.

she's a character with a lot of trauma, a lot of bad shit happened to her and because of her and its very easy for her to fall into the trap of blaming herself because she cant see the bigger picture. but with time she understands that that isnt always the case

i look at rue and i see hope. that life can get better. it will, if you allow it to. mourn, grieve, cry over the version of yourself you will never get to have again, but embrace the new part of you with joy and kindness

my least favourite part of her is the fact that she chose gortash out of all people to fuck. she shouldve been a lesbian ;-; (/hj, but she really is too pretty for him. rue, im right here. be with me instead)

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Omg thank you lots for the sunoo career reading! He said he has a gift prepared for us so hopefully is that cover and that's the solo opportunity you gor from your cards! I really dont know what's about that boy, maybe it's because he has a lot of hidden potential but I can't help but being interested in what he does next. Ive been distancing from kpop from a while now, only checking content and music from the groups I like from time to time, but I keep getting pulled in to support him, it's like when you watch a great but obscure show and you want everyone to watch it to see how great it is. Maybe it's because the way he is managed doesn't really make sense in my head too. like from the time iland ended he should have been promoted as a vocal/personality member like seungkwan from svt, though I'm not familiar with svt at all but I as a non-fan I recognize seungkwan for being a great singer and being great in variety shows, belift should have pushed that image for him.

In fact, all of them could be managed so much better, no shit they all seem pretty frustrated with their careers. But specially for sunoo, like you said, I dont think he will get to shine his brightest while he's in the group/company as it is. I love his idol activities and it would break my heart for enhypen to disband but he's definitely being hidden in there. In the end something will have to give, sunoo will have to bring a gun to those contract negotiations.

Your reading gave me sumn to look forward. Hopefully whoever that higher up is gets fired or wtvr. I dont think it's heeseung either, maybe he is mirroring that energy...? yknow I always saw heeseung as kind of the leader when it comes to the artistic part of enhypen career, after he helped produce(? or direct(? bite me recording.

Another note, I don't really remember where I saw it, but there was another sunoo career reading where they got the lovers and 2 of cups, and they talked about partnerships too. Maybe he's the type to date with the people he works with 😭 I dont know, I can't remember one example but I think there are plenty of actors/musician that do the same, and when a project ends so does the relationships 😭 lmaoo.

Anyway, talking about dating, I'm sure you already got a request for this but maybe you should do a reading about jungwon and winter situation. Despite what he says, jungwon has a lots of friends in the industry, good for him! they all seem to adore him and see his as a pure person. If they are really friends and considering their personalities I'm sure winter and jungwon relationship is v cute too, sadly we wont get interactions ever because of weird fans :(

that's all sorry for the long rant I wanted to get it out my chest

Interesting message here. No worries about it being long. I enjoyed what you had to share. Now, are people sure it was Jungwon? Like, I saw a picture, but the person was covered up, so I am not sure if that was really him.

Now, from the cards I am getting if they did meet up, it was for business, like I see these two wanting to come together, because they both may dislike how things are in the industry, and they seem to want to make changes to that. When I pulled cards for their interaction. I got the Queen of Pentacles, Justice. Emperor rv, 7 of wands, also got the 10 of cups and Queen of Cups rv. They both energetically seem frustrated with the control they have over them and want more joys and stability. I am not getting much about a close connection here. The Queen of Cups rv gives me there ain't nothing romantic I am seeing. They could be friends coming together over issues they have about the business.

Pulled some astrology cards for more clarification, got the House 2, Virgo, the Sun, once again something about finances, money, security and wanting things to improve here. This is giving me if these two do come together it is about how messed up this industry and comparing notes. It is pretty business related.

Now, that doesn't mean they can't be dating. People can date and just be about that business lol Tarot can only show so much. This is just showing the energy of them two. I am not going to pretend that I know if the rumors are true or not. At the end of the day, they can do whatever they want, but I am not even certain they were meeting up and if that was even him.

[castlebyersafterdark]

JUST THOUGHT OF A KILLER BYLER ENDING that ive not seen theorised.... a classic lover leaving trope? so they've already sorted out the romance confession but mike is Scared(TM), smalltown boy stylee. but will is definitely planning to leave town... after everything, he just feels he HAS to. he's been waiting for mike but it's just not happening... mike is paralysed. insert the memorial scene!!! crossroads for mike!!! and then we have the absolute classic movie ending where it's Almost Too Late and will is leaving, we see him packing up spliced into shots of mike finally realising he can't let will go AGAIN, and then mike is just racing racing racing and we see will leave and mike goes to will's house but he's too late! he's missed him! will is gone :(

but then he turns around and ofc will is right there.

THEY KISS CARESS HUG EVERYTHING

or some variation on that cliche where it's a little bit unexpected. its such a classic trope and it would be incredible to see this for the gays. and i would love to see the duffers just barrelling ahead with this storyline even though most of the nation are expecting mileven wedding lmao?? (sic)

s5 will be that meme where duffers enter with pizza and the whole room is on fire hahahahah

Very interesting concept!! I feel like... very worthy vision, the drama is definitely there, and the most important part - Will and Mike are leaving together, gosh that's we're dreaming about, right? This is such a bittersweet, kind of heart-breaking ending since we had to wait so long, kind of suffering like Will.

A big part of me can't believe if they get together that the story will wait that long to take them there, to leave us in suspense until the end. I enjoyed your vision but I also see it playing out much much differently! I feel like, part of the whole motivation and strength that's gonna take Will and Mike to overcome the supernatural struggle that supersedes all the rest, plot-wise is entwined with them acknowledging the truth of themselves. I do have a hard time finding theories or ideas believable where we have a Will and Mike confessing and then still on rocky footing in the inbetween "peacetime" between Fall '87 (where the bulk of season 5 is to take place) and then Spring '89, if that's what's implied here. It's just such a long expanse of time and we're to believe they've been doing what exactly all that time? I cannot see Will leaving without Mike. That's my biggest hangup!!

I very much do see them taking a dramatic exit together!! But, together. I think the vision described above kind of works more for a limited story, a movie ending? It's very cinematic! Where I feel the show is going to have time devoted to fleshing some things out a bit more, where we'll have time to avoid some of the issues faced here. I don't see Mike's issue being this Will-limbo there at the end, as we've seen in the implied-epilogue pics. I would hope not, personally!

But I do appreciate the idea sharing, all perspectives can and should be considered because despite personal theories and biases, gosh... we just don't know, don't we? ❤️

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

AMY ROSE (SONIC THE HEDGEHOG)

1.) Amy's characterisation has experienced several generations of misogyny, right from her genesis: She was designed as a girlfriend, but it eas then decided they didn't want Sonic to have a girlfriend. First instance she's a damsel in distress that he resents for being there and crushing on him, and this is echoed in the comics. She is then presented as pathetic, chasing and stalkerish, as well as sidelined in the games in favour of other characters despite being very strong. Her stories are often those with the most emotional weight, but the reading is coloured by other characters underestimating her importance there. She then enters a pushy and blind era where she becomes a mockery of her past self. A universe reset rebranded her as a feminist, but that often comes off as a bit pickme, and they frequently failed to hold her femininity and also combat capabilities in hand at once. She is finally getting a bit more stable characterisation and treated a bit better, but I still don't trust the writers with her. Ultimately, it often felt like the creators didn't like her, and only had her there because they were made to; and that sucked as a little girl sonic fan.

2.) She started out as the token Girl One in a 90's property, and her first appearance was as a damsel in distress, which isn't great to begin with, and she wasn't playable for a long-ass time outside of spinoffs. The Sonic Adventure games redesigned her, made her playable, let her fight back against her would-be kidnappers, and gave her a major role in saving the world by letting Shadow talk to someone not game with destroying it. Then from Sonic Heroes to Sonic and the Black Knight, and the anime Sonic X, her character was reduced to 'hehe funny obsessed fangirl is obsessed' a lot of the time, losing her compassion and a good deal of her social awareness. In Sonic 06, she literally said that she'd sacrifice the rest of the world for Sonic, which, my girl would NEVER in SA2. The Archie comics weren't kind to her either, as their explanation for the redesign was that Amy wished to become older, so they aged up her body, BUT NOT HER MIND EW EW EW. I'm sure there are other crimes the Archie comics did to her, but that's not my knowledge base. THEN the writers tried to backpedal in the early 2010's, but by attempting to undo all the 'crazy', they took out Amy's drive and convictions (Sonic Lost World just letting Amy sit and watch Sonic do all the work my beloathed). The Sonic Boom spinoff series tried to pivot and make their version of her a girlboss, but Rise of Lyric was SO BAD. Sonic Boom: Fire and Ice made an alternate version of her a damsel in distress, again, which while technically true to Amy's roots, does not fit her Boom characterization AT ALL. The Sonic Boom cartoon was a screwball comedy, and they at least lampshaded a lot of Amy's previous writing problems, but they didn't give her much to do either, mainly making her 'the sensible one' whenever Sonic wasn't available for deadpan responses. They've been doing a bit better lately, with Amy usually involved in world-saving matters, and she was prominently featured in Sonic Frontiers, even if she was trapped in Cyberspace. The IDW comics are also treating her wonderfully, from what I've seen.

3.) when she was created as a character, she was made solely to be sonic’s love interest. in sonic adventure, they tried to rewrite her and flesh out her character more by making her realize she’s more than her crush on sonic and she finally realizes she’s strong enough to do things without him. sonic team IMMEDIATELY undid that in sonic heroes which came out soon after. they made her entire character in that game obsessed with sonic and based her entire story around him. she was obsessed with him unhealthily in that game because god forbid team sonic let’s a strong female character exist. many of the sonic games took away her quality of being strong without sonic by writing her to only be obsessed with him and not do anything without him. in many modern games, she’s improved more, but misogyny has really screwed her over as a character.

ALYS BRANGWIN (PHANTASY STAR IV)

1.) For the short time she's in the game she's the butt of creepy jokes. At one point in order to progress you have to say yes to an old man asking if you want her "measurements" after which she's expected to forgive him because he apparently doesn't have "bad intentions". In the end she's a textbook example of getting fridged, she's the older sister figure to the teenage boy protagonist but shortly before the game even gets to its main gimmick (traveling to other planets) she sacrifices herself to save the cardboard cutout of a protagonist (at the hands of a throwaway villain no less) and her death is purely for shock value (this was a pre-ffvii JRPG killing party members was rare) and to give the protagonist something to be sad about as he goes into space before promptly forgetting about her for 95 percent of the story

[malka-lisitsa]

Positivity Anon! Can I get you to say three nice things about yourself? Spreading positivity is amazing, but sometimes you need to spread it to yourself too!

Three nice things about me- I'll do it just to support the wave of anon positivity.

one - I've worked very hard to gain my reputation here and despite the daggers that come with the crown I'm very proud of the little empire i've built with my blog and the followers I've gained on my tumblr journey here. I don't even mind the Novi hate club.

two - which brings me to number two. I am also very proud of the confidence I've gained over the years. Even just three years ago some of the hate ive gotten would have sent me into a spiral and I probably would have deleted or something. Fortunately, now it doesn't bother me at all. I remain unfazed and even have a little fun putting them on their asses.

three - I like to think that usually im a straight forward person. I am the first person to tell you that I am a bitch. I have never been shy about that. A lot of people like to say different and if they want to think I'm nice/kind then I love that for them, but I've never said it. I have hang ups and I like to play the wrong kind of games sometimes. I have BPD, once you cut out all the romanticized bullshit tiktik is currently spewing, there are toxic traits that flare if left unchecked.

Its work, having BPD is an on going chronic battle of managing symptoms, behaviors, and shitty coping mechanisms. Sometimes I don't treat people the best and I'm aware of that. That's why I've never claimed to be nice. I ask all of my friends to tell me if I'm being an asshole. If I'm behaving terribly. It's one of the first things I mention when I'm getting to know someone and starting a new friendship. I want you to bring shitty behaviors to my attention, I cant fix what I can't see. I figure anyone whos actually my friend will have no problem doing that. I used to be very cagy about my BPD, it has a bad rap and honestly its not for no reason. Undiagnosed BPD can cause a LOT of problems, we are not innocent little beans who just need a hug, left unchecked we have the self destructive force of a raging WILD FIRE. We burn bridges faster than most people can light a match.

Now I've come to accept that about myself. I know I can be toxic, I own that, I don't hide from it and pretend I'm a perfect little angel. It's taken me a LONG TIME to get to that point but god DAMNIT if I'm not proud of myself for getting here. Self acceptance has been hard and I'm sure theres a few people lined up ready to tell me I'm a liar, and the most toxic person in the rpc, and whatever else they slap on their banners to parade around in their protests- but honestly go ahead. Bc not everyone is going to like me and to be honest? I just don't give a fuck :)

So yea. Three nice things. There you go.

[thecoolcatstuff]

Today I will present my thesis on why I think Juleka and Adrien should have been best friends.

1.They have(platonic) chemistry

Most of times good compatibility isnt about characters having the same traits, but having traits that cumpliment eachother. Complementary traits often result in good dynamics, fun to watch. Now, miraculous have some pretty fun character dynamics like Chat/Ladybug, Marinette/Kagami, Adrien/Plagg but I believe Adrien/Juleka has the potential to be one of the best among them. Hear me out.

Adrien is an extroverted person molded by his father into a polite and pristine façade never being allowed out or having indeoendent thoughts.

Juleka is the daughter of a pirate rockstar(Anarka) who was born with all the freedom she could want, but has a shy and introverted personality despite that.

Besides loving the "extrovert adopts introvert" trope, I belive their interaction would be beneficial for their development, with Adrien helping Juleka to come out of her shell by teatching her his dorkish ways and Juleka showing Adrien what freedom really means( I am 100% certain Juleka would convince Adrien to do a Tattoo, paint his hair, pierce his nose or some shit only to flip out Gabriel). They could really understant eachother, help eachoter overcome their fears and give support.

(it is important to say that when I meant they have good chemistry, i do not mean romantic chemistry. Characters of opposite sex are allowed to interact and have good relations without it necessarily meant to be romantic. That is a taboo on animation and would also be pretty cool to chalenge.)

2.Juleka wants to model

Juleka's dream being revealed as someone who wants to model professionally, her having a best friend who is a literal supermodel would be the ideal setup to give her a "in" into the fashion world, and would also give Adrien someone on his corner in the industry, maybe someone to give him advice and support when dealing with the wheight of his schedule, or when being pushed around left and right by Lila or his dad.

3.It would explain things story wise

It was always weird to me how Adrien always shows up at the boat for Kitty Section practice. I mean I guess he is around since Juleka invites the whole class to show up, but its never actually a reason to why HE should show up. People are always wondering "hey where is adrien?" even when other people like Kim or Nathaniel are also not there. Adrien bring juleka's bff would make this more plausible because "cmon he is my bestie where the fuck is he?".

4.Chat Noir and Purple Tigress

The dynamic of Chat Noir and Purple Tigress was cute. Chat being carefree and flirty and Juleka being kind of stiff and awkward and fumbling against his extroverted approach all while being a lowkey girlboss on the side just gave a whole new fun to the dynamic. I can just picture Juleka awkwardly trying to make a cat pun and Chat being lit on fire by it.

5. Adrien might have gotten a home at the boat

Ive seen hundreds of post-hawkmoth defeat fics, and almost all of them we have something in common: Adrien gets adopted by the dupain-chengs and go live with them. Now, there is nothing wrong with that, Sabine and Tom are great and they would definitly help Adrien in a moment of need but the imolications of this... it really striked me odd. living with your girlfriend's parents? Sneaking into her room every night to cuddle at 15 and they being ok with it? really? Thats just weird bro.

Now, Adrien at the boat makes sense. Methinks Anarka would be more the willing to adopt Adrien on the spot. She is carefree, doesnt seem to be caugh up by details and seems to be fairly ok with a bunch of teens hanging around her deck all day. Adrien is a musician and fairly polite, so he checks out all the boxes to be her son. Besides, imagine how Adrien's chacracter would develop given the chance to live freely like Juleka and Luka does. He could develop more his "wild side" and learn how to be more confortable with himself.

6. Get to see Adrien wingmaning Julerose

Now, we all know Adrien Chat Noir is our resident dork in town. However, I feel we dont get to see it much. I imagine him trying to help Juleka woo Rose or giving tips to flirt would be very funny and amusing to see, and give him much more characterization. Besides, Juleka and Rose's relationship would be way more spicy. I mean they are cute but the whole "lowkey supportive gf" thing they always have going on gets stale pretty fast, and dont five much insight on how their relationship is really like. LET THEM FLIRT FOR GODS SAKE!