#ive been crying on the train for 3 hours

[sternen--staub]

I'm so fucking mad rn.

our new asshole neighbours couldn't control their dog and now our cat had to be put down.

some people just shouldn't keep dogs as pets

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Happy Birthday! Thank you for all the amazing art you share with us! Did you get your King Magnus skin? (Terrifying sentence with no context)

THANK YOU !!!!! and thank you all for supporting me throughout these past few months: THAT in of itself is truly a most wonderful gift- to be able to share my silly art and ramblings with you all and for everyone to be so wonderful bout them :']]

BUT NOOO I DIDNT GET MY SKINS YET,,,,,,, my game hasnt finished updating,,,,

[pikonv5]

my job wants me gone so bad , like 1 month in and they have already brought out their no effort in communication and gaslighting full force, and telling me much of the work I am doing is wrong and accusing me of not doing the basic things like stocking, that I try so hard and am sure to keep up with being the only person working at a time? like if they are going to do this at least do it while i am on the clock..

[lo-cinno]

Hi

I’m fucking dying

[atimelessheaven]

Can you please do a fic where Paige and azzi have a teen daughter

LETTER TO MOM

a pazzi series.

hey guysss! sorry ive been lacking on writing recently:/ finals, and life in general are kicking my ass. but here is this! i’ve decided to turn this request into a little series. as of now im not sure if it will be 2 or 3 parts… maybe more? idk. we will see!

fluff ◡̈

warning: mixed pov’s, probably some grammar errors (please ignore them!), and a mediocre plot. that’s all i think! let me know if i missed any.

enjoy!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

backstory: iris was born in 2027. the year of this story is 2041- making iris 14, paige 37, azzi 36. they have been in the league for 16, and 15 years. paige is still on the wings, azzi plays for the valkyries.

iris pov:

today has been tough.

i woke up late. i slipped in the shower. leaving my ankle all swollen, it hurts to move it. i made a bad grade on my science test, and one of my coaches yelled at me for being “lazy” i was in pain, and i just felt exhausted.

i am exhausted.

i feel like i can’t move.

it feels like i can’t even breath without someone getting mad at me.

life has just been hard.

to top it off i miss my mom.

i could never, and would never admit how much it really effects me. she’d feel bad, and i don’t want to put that burden on her.

since mom, and mama have jobs on two different sides of the country they decided it would be best if i stayed with mama during season, in san francisco.

it’s the longest five months of my life.

sure i see mom every now and then during the season, but it’s just not the same.

sometimes i just want to give her a hug.

have her hold me when i’m sad.

come home from school and tell her all about my day, every little detail.

or when i have something really exciting to tell her, i can’t see her live reaction unless it’s facetime.

that is not the same. not even close.

it’s all just caught up to me. right about now i just want my mom to hold me.

since that’s not possible right now, i’ve resorted to the next best thing-

crying myself to sleep wearing moms hoodie that smells like her, holding my build a bear that has her voice in it.

sure it might seem dramatic, she hasn’t died or anything, but if you were in my shoes, you’d understand.

azzi pov:

iris has been home from school for three hours now, and she’s been awfully quiet.

i mean the girl hasn’t even came into the kitchen to get a snack.

something is up with my kid.

that child is ravenous after school, i need to find out what’s wrong a-s-a-p as possible (hehehehe)

i walk to her room and knock, getting no response.

typically i’d just leave her alone but i just feel off, she’s acting off. so i go in.

when i walk in i immediately just freeze mid stride into her room to access the scene in front of me.

my sweet iris girl asleep wearing her moms hoodie, holding her comfort bear with my wife’s voice inside, a wet pillow and tear stained cheeks.

welp.. my mama heart just shattered.

i walked over and gave her a forehead kiss, taking a picture to send my wife. then left her room.

it’s about 9:00 for paige, but she still responds to the picture i sent her relatively fast considering i know she’s tired after a long day of training and would be going to sleep very soon.

from paige- “well i am now officially going to join her in the crying myself to sleep club. i miss my girls. so sad my sweet baby is struggling with me being away. i feel awful.”

right as i go to reply i hear iris headed into the kitchen where i am, so i quickly respond with a “we miss you too.”

“hi babe, how was school today?” i say as i catch iris having to physically hold her up while she completely melted into me.

“i don’t wanna talk about it.” iris mumbles, voice shakey.

“that’s okay, i’m here when you’re ready. you’ll never be forced to talk when you don’t wanna, but i do need you to recognize mom, and i are always here to listen when you’re ready, okay?”

“i know, i just..” iris began but decided against it, not wanting to be a burden.

“you just what?” azzi said encouraging her to finish her statement.

“i don’t want to be the bitchy teen who complains and makes life difficult when i’m so privileged. i mean i know you and mom have demanding jobs, and that it provides so many cool opportunities, but it’s also really hard sometimes. it’s hard having to travel around to a ton of places back to back, missing school, missing friends, missing the normalcy of a regular quiet life. on the flip side when im left behind with friends while yall go to games i feel lonely, not because i don’t like hanging out with my friends but because i miss my parents. you guys are my comfort people, i couldn’t do it without you. having mom be so far away for so long really takes a toll on me. and i promise you are enough and im not meaning you aren’t, but i just miss mom. i thought it would get easier as i got older having to be away from her, but if anything i think it’s gotten harder. i need my mom. i miss my mom. oh and also my day was just awful in general, and i was thinking about all of that and so i just starting spiraling.” iris says pretty quickly, tears showing in her eyes once again. azzi can tell this has been eating at her for a while.

“okay so how about we go get ready for bed, you can lay with me and we can finish this conversation alright?” azzi says pulling away from iris making her stand on her own.

“okay, but can we not tell mom?” iris asks quietly as they start walking towards azzi’s room.

azzi froze. “well uhm i might have taken a picture of you asleep earlier so she already knows sorta what’s going through your head. if you don’t want to explain it to her i’m not going to force you, but i think she’d like to know what’s going on completely if you’re willing to let her in on it. can i ask why you don’t want to tell her?”

“well i love mom, but i know how she is. you do too. she’s going to feel guilty when it’s not even her fault and i don’t wanna stress her out. iris says looking at azzi

“you make a compelling case, but i want to offer my counter argument. as much as that is true, i think she would feel worse if you didn’t tell her what was bothering you, and she found out it was for her sake. that would make her feel more terrible. also we both know she’s going to ask you about that picture i sent, you can’t lie then. she reads you too well. you aren’t slick enough for that.” azzi says laughing thinking of all the times her daughter has given herself away with her terrible lying skills. let’s just say she shouldn’t play poker, or ever commit a crime.

she laughs along with her mom, “you’re right, i should tell her. i just don’t know how i should. i don’t want her to see me cry, or worse she cries. i’d feel so bad if mom cried over this. mama what do i do?” iris says suddenly panicking at the thought of making her mom cry.

“okay calm down, you don’t have to explain it directly to her, you could write her a letter like you used to do as a kid, i think that would cheer her up. very sentimental, and nostalgic. perfect. she’ll love it, and you don’t have to show any emotions you don’t want to, just write what you want.”

“wait that’s a great idea. i can be like so vulnerable, and she’ll never have to see me cry, and i won’t have to see her initial reaction.” iris says feeling so confident in this idea.

“okay okay, now let’s for real get ready for bed, go lay in my room and watch a movie. how does that sound?” azzi says as she starts walking to her room grabbing iris’ hand to take her along with her.

*about ten minutes later they’re both snuggled up in bed watching tangled*

“oh iris look, paige is facetiming us!” azzi says excitedly as she answers the call, while pausing the movie.

“hi my babies! i miss you guys so much!” paige immediately says as the call connects. “omg iris i saw the cutest dog earlier and forgot to send you the picture i took, i just knew you’d love it.” is how paige started their nightly catch up of their day conversation.

“awww i wanna see the puppy, i wish i could’ve been there to see it in person.” iris replies, lighting up at the idea of a cute puppy. “mom can i get a puppy?”

“absolutely not. iris that would be a disaster. poor thing would either have to travel a lot, or stay behind with a pet sitter. not plausible sadly at the moment. maybe in the future! we can add it to our family bucket list!” paige says letting iris down as gently as possible, but trying to cheer her up in the moment.

“ugh. that’s so unfair, i would take it on walks and everything.” iris says grumbling. azzi just rolls her eyes staying out of the conversation.

“so what were you two up to before i called?” paige says curiously.

“TANGLED!” azzi, and iris respond at the same time.

“i should’ve known, you guys literally don’t know of any other movies.” paige says laughing a little at their excitement

“that’s so not true, we also watch zootopia.” iris responds in a matter of fact tone, like paige had just offended her with the movie comment. she’s very well versed in her disney movies.

“and hamilton.” azzi says agreeing with iris.

“okay, okay i get it. now i say you guys start it over, so we can press play at the same time and watch together!” paige suggests

*approximately 47 minutes into the movie iris was out cold.*

“paige, look.” azzi said getting her attention, turning the phone to show iris sound asleep on her shoulder.

“aww our little baby isn’t so little anymore is she?” paige says smiling at the sight of her peaceful daughter.

“i know. it’s crazy to think that just ten years ago all she cared about was if she could eat candy for breakfast, and wear her princess dresses in public, now she’s worried about our feelings, and feels like she’s carrying the world on her shoulders. i just wish i could save her from everything, especially her own mind sometimes.” azzi whispered to paige, while lovingly looking down at iris, gently rubbing her back.

“i love her just how she is, but i know she’s way too caring for this world. she has so much empathy. i don’t ever want it to hurt her. i just want to protect her from everything. she’s my baby.” paige says agreeing with azzi. “what happened earlier today? why was our baby so sad?” paige asks

“it has to do with her caring too much about our feelings over her own. she didn’t want me to tell you, but i can say you’ll find out very soon.” azzi says.

very soon.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok so ive been rewatching psychoville and saw on the wikipedia that there were a bunch of websites made for the series (they were all written by reece and steve btw) which i've been looking through cos they are genuinely SO fucking funny & also just amazingly creative lol!

anyway i know people in the fandom probs already know about this (since the show came out literally 15 years ago pfft) but i thought i'd share some of my fav bits (but honestly would just recommend just checking them out if you haven't i have been crying with laughter for literally hours lol)

i will say that a lot of the media (videos, games, etc) no longer work on the archived sites rip but i'm sure people have uploaded some of the stuff (vids especially) to yt or other places lol

so a) i love that we get some background stuff on jelly and 2) 'captain CRACKERS' bernie clifton's dressing room reference question mark ??????? (ofc bcdr was AFTER this but i know love the idea that mr jelly trained under len pfft)

what that red raw stump do though 👀 (sorry pfffft)

mr jolly's website wasn't that interesting soz tho i did like him comparing being a doctor to being a clown lol

the comment about fag bears did make me wheeze i'm afraid lol i also loved the blurry photos of lomax's commodities lol (kinda reminded me of the bit in tlog w/ that terrible old photographer guy lol)

when i tell you i DIED with laughter at the 'now known as hull' bit like u just know reece wrote that bit pfft

not really a funny thing but this poem written by david honestly kinda breaks my heart lol... i think it also a lot of additional context to david's guilt when he thought he'd killed his father(faver) because perhaps he felt guilty about NOT feeling guilty you get me? like, it felt to me that when maureen told david it was SHE who killed her husband, it didn't feel like he was mad at her for doing it, but more that she kept the fact from him. it's about... the mutual oedipus-coded obsession with one another that couldn't even be destroyed in death and in this essay i will....

ghoul_lass23 is just like me but about tumblr lol fr

nothing feels more cursed than the phrases 'the river minge has burst its banks', 'crying creamy tears' and 'fleshy rapunzel' (which i've just noticed they misspelt lol... don't think that was intentional lol?) so if i had to read this so do you <3

the way that i kinda wish this actually existed tho pfft... also, it does kinda remind me of that video where jenny nicholson talked about that insane reality show 'opposite worlds' lol

'cross between seven and glee' is honestly sending me pfft

also on this part there was a script from stinkfinger (which is a show mentioned on the show) which sounded suspiciously like a reference to tlc lol

the less said about swastknickers the better

(will say i did nearly piss myself laughing at the nazi section of the hoity toity website lol which wasn't a sentence i thought i'd type today lol)

i just love these kinds of jokes pfft

also the whole biography sections of each of the pantomime cast are fab lol tho i AM kinda pissed they made debbie from yeovil and yet didn't give her a west country accent lol!!! (i guess they thought it'd be a bit much w/ joy being bristolian but i'm still mad about it lol)

also i know people have probably already pointed this out but i do find it funny that brian in the in9 episode last night of the proms is a closeted gay guy who likes watching drag was probably a reference to brian in this show that was a drag queen like... is anything these guys do NOT a reference??? u know those gaylor fans who obsessively look for clues in her songs about her apparent secret sexuality? all i'm saying is that i think they'd really like the extended reece shearsmith & steve pemberton universe pfft

all three of these made me cry with laughter lol

ohh this is interesting lol so obviously they suspected that some people might be all 'um why didn't the sprinklers go off during the fire at ravenhill? plot hole much!' so they wrote this into one of the websites so they could be like SEE! WE'RE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU DUMBASSES lol

both the jeremy kyle reference (remember when that was a thing? yikes... my mum used to watch his show CONSTANTLY...) and nurse kenshington's thoughts on david and maureen are interesting lol.. also there's a reference to the serial killer top trumps in this bit lol! (do people still play top trumps?? man i LOVED top trumps lol...)

the entire sunnyvale care home section is so fucking funny (both the website AND in the show lol mrs wren/mrs ladybird face is unironically probably my favourite character on the entire show) these were just some of my fav gags lol...

ok but why is this the SECOND reference to a guy punching a child who was apparently looking at his dick lol!??!! did this happen to one of you ??!!?!? reece did you punch a child ??!???!?!??

&&&& that's it lol

there were a few websites i didn't spend long on or generally weren't that interesting (coughmidgetgemscough) but honestly? i was really captivated with just how funny and well put together all these sites were! you can tell they had a lot of fun making it and i'm sure fans at the time LOVED being able to have this semi-interactive element of the show lol

there was just something so wonderfully late 00's about these websites lol i genuinely don't think i've laughed this much at anything in literal months and all of this is just solidifies that psychoville is a criminally under-appreciated masterpiece lol

[adanaac]

CANADAS TOKYO TRIP PART 2 (day 5 to 8)

in this episode canada goes to akihabara and experiences her own personal hell: trying to buy anime merch

continued from part 1 here

Day 5 - Kyu-Iwasaki-Tei Gardens + AKIHABARA DAY

AKIBA DAY!!! but first kyu-iwasaki-tei gardens. my friend was weirdly cagey about what this place actually was about and kept calling it “we’re going to some rich guys house” so i’ll actually tell u what this is about

it’s the former estate of the family that founded mitsubishi, and was built in the meiji era (1896) by a british architect. i was personally stoked to see it bc, yknow, meiji arc, meiji era western style building, “omg this is just like takahashis house frfr” (and also i kept going “wow this is just like blue prince frfr”) ur not allowed to take pictures inside tho. sad :( 

and then we ate at sushiro!!! very fun watching the sushi. also the last time i had salmon sushi was years ago and ive been itching for it. they had a hsr collab and me n my friends got robin ratio and boothill stickers (didnt get to take a pic of the robin sticker)

i have a love hate relationship with akiba. love the vibes. theres so many people. i am intrisincally stressed out in shops. i was sent on a fetch quest by friends and stuff to find a couple things. theres so many stairs. the animate is so scary

(found onimais in the waifu section of a figurine store among big tiddy waifus lmaoo)

i did go to the animate cafe and get a haruaki drink but i couldnt get the coaster but i placed a order for a preorder to get it in july.... ??¿¿¿? the cashier spoke too fast man 1. im not good enough at jp 2. ive never.... i dont buy merch i dont go to collab cafes ive never been to animate?? idk anything about how this kind of thing usually works. felt like crying. it was raining and there was a lot of ppl and ur not supposed to walk around eating and drinking and stuff. i think a friend can help me pick up the coaster in july. or something. i found out that the thing that stresses me out the most in the world is juggling plastic bags it like amplifies any other stress im feeling by 10x u could generate electricity from my stress

anyway being stressed as fuck aside i love looking at anime merch and huffing the weeb air. i could do it all day. tbh i dont think i saw enough of akiba i saw like 5 ground floor shops and then got stunlocked in animate for 3 hours

also i think its kinda funny im the least weeb of my group. my friends were both looking for at least like 4 series each and ended getting a figurine each (luffy and mirio mha) and im just going around like man..... this would be HUGE if i was into blue lock... but its just medium to me... the only one of the group who can read japanese and is actively translating a manga. the least weeb. insane. who am i

wine connoseur voice) im not into..... individual animes.... im into the Culture of anime as a Whole... the Societal implications... the History...

Day 6 - Tokyo Tower + Zojo-ji + Imperial Palace + Tokyo Train Station

This day is kind of a mess bc it was originally going to be a rest day where we just went to the cat temple (gotokuji temple) but that was so far by train and we felt crazy so we did all this other stuff instead

with the tokyo tower, ive been to just about every tokyo landmark mentioned in yohaji, i think! (other than ginza. noooo) tokyo skytree, akihabara, kaminari-mon at asakusa from lost in tokyo arc and then the tokyo tower in ch71! (though we never went up the tower and skytree bc ticket expensive lol)

also, i finally get that the line names here are plays on the real line names in tokyo:

marunote = marunouchi

yamanouchi = yamanote

seinan (south-west) (u can barely make out the kanji for "south") = tozai (east-west) and namboku (north-south)

though im not sure which line musou is a reference to 🤔

zojo-ji is in the park next to tokyo tower, and i finally got myself a omamori there! wanted to get a red one bc thats Classic(tm) but the purple one was really cute hehe (also now that i look at the color page for tokyo arc closely, the one miikun gave haru was blue?)

went to the imperial palace bc its actually open today (and u can only enter the east garden anyway) very big bricks very fun to look at. also saw a big crow <3 also there was this cute story about why this watchtower was never completed. also a nice pic of a hydrangea i took and a big crow who let me get real close

also went to check out the tokyo train station bc that was in walking distance!! very cool building!! BUT THE REAL HIGHLIGHT IS in one of the malls next to it its called KITTE theres a 2-storey museum called intermediatheque (mouthful of a name) its free entry and has so many cool ass skeletons and taxidermies and other exhibits. as a biology autismer this was HUGE for me im obsessed with this place

Day 7 - Mount Takao

great day bc the train trip to and from the mountain was 1.5 hours each so i typed out the translation for ch 125 in my notes app this day. bad day bc i had to climb a mountain 🥺 took the chairlift up so it wasnt as bad as it could have been but.

also i wore shorts to the mountain like some idiot. it was also raining it was so cold i thought i was going to die i was fully resigned. had to buy raincoat pants at 7 eleven just to cover up a bit

asians in the old times are out of their mind building temples n shit up on mountains. i know a core tenet of buddhism is life is suffering or whatever but like have they tried not creating their own suffering. thats a core tenet of me. not creating suffering for myself. unfortunately i am great at creating suffering for myself (being stressed for no reason) so maybe the buddhists were onto something. and also my friend created this suffering for me by planning this for the trip. i was fueled only by rage and anger the entire climb i had to download the "hate. let me tell you how much ive come to hate you ever since i began to live" monologue while on there to motivate myself. also did i mention it looked like silent hill up there. my dead wife who i killed was about to jump out of the bushes to haunt me or something idk i never played silent hill

Day 8 - As I'm writing this

I'm writing this on the plane ride home, and will most certainly polish it up a bit once i get back onto my laptop (or not. im pretty lazy lol) (btw, the only reason i didnt bring my laptop to japan to work on the chapter while im here is bc the screen broke 2 weeks ago, and not it HAS to be plugged into a 2nd monitor)

this trip was a lot of fun!! it was fun getting to practice japanese, and i got noticeably faster at reading and comprehending japanese by day 3. its also fun getting to see full sentences in jp a lot, grammar is the one thing ive been least sure of bc reading full japanese books is a bit beyond me and i dont think tweets are a reliable source for basic level learning

was excited to see what differences would stand out to me as a singaporean, since most of the "things u should know before u go to japan" are from american or european perspectives, and i come from a fairly different culture and most importantly: a completely different comfortable temperature and humidity range. didnt get to experience the summers, but it probably still would be slightly cold to me (most of this trip was slightly dry and freezing cold to me (below 25C) (which is freezing cold to me. my ideal temperature is 30C))

kind of glad i got done writing this on the plane i for sure would have been too lazy to do it once i got home.

tldr tips for japan

- pack long pants like crazy its so cold (if ur a equatorial creature like me)

- bring/buy a A5 sized stamp book. lots of stamps at attractions and subway stations

- btw the train from narita airport is the most confusing shit in the world u better look it up beforehand

- u are going to think "wow this is just like in pokemon/mario/exit 8" a lot

- ??? 

also it might be more embarrassing to know a bit of japanese but not be able to follow the super fast speed than just own up and be a baka gaijin and speak english. idk. i think i just hate talking to ppl

anyway yeah ill be home so i can work on ch125 now. which will be posted soon after this. or before this. idk. im on a plane

addition: writing this part after ive gotten off the plane and back home, and ive finally been able to put a finger on something that's felt off to me all week: singapore's a very noisy place. even beyond general "youre not supposed to talk on trains in japan", its all very silent. nobody's blasting music or chatting on the street, people drive slower so cars make less noise, and, most importantly, singapore has this constant background noise of crickets and birds, and tokyo is just silent. it feels a bit like sensory deprivation lol

also heres all the silly little guys i mostly got from gachapons

[widowmaxff]

Hiii WandaNat x daughter reader where R was severely harmed in a mission or got involved.

For example, they Nat or Wands were assigned on a mission to investigate and just so it happens, R was there so when chaos started, R was severely injured and like got a pretty bad brain damage which she will fight through. How will the mother's copee??

Thankss!

safe & sound

pairings: parents!wandanat × daughter!reader (platonic)

warnings: angst, bad writing :P, crying, physical violence, hospital, natasha blames herself ;((, lots of love from moms <3

a/n: im really sorry it took me SO long to write this request, ive been having awful weeks and im really trying to write. anyway, i hope you like it and thank you very much for the request luv <333

When you decided you wanted to follow in the same footsteps as your mothers, they didn't react so well. You always trained with the Avengers, closely watching their next steps for any unforeseen circumstances and how good they were at what they did. And you especially loved seeing Wanda and Natasha fighting, they have been your inspiration since you were little and understand each other. 

You remember when you asked your mother Natasha to start going on missions, even if it was the easier ones that would only take a few hours, and you could swear you saw her eyes light up with regret. Not that she didn't trust you, but both Natasha and Wanda knew that any mission would be dangerous and the last thing they wanted was to leave you hurt or for anything bad to happen to you. So, you started to train even more and show how much you dedicated yourself to going on one of these missions and, as your mothers knew you so well, they knew that you wouldn't give up until you went on one of them.

"Fury allowed you to go on this mission with one of us," Natasha was sitting in front of him next to Wanda in the meeting room. You couldn’t hide the smile on your face, your legs shaking because you were so excited for your first mission. "It's an easy mission where you just have to investigate and collect some important information in an old Hydra base." You nod listening to every detail of what you needed to do.

"Fury assured us that there will be no one and no agent, but for your safety you will carry a weapon, okay?" Wanda, your other mother, spoke this time. She also seemed to be a little worried about your first mission since she remembers very well what it's like to be in the hospital bed after one or see anyone else in it. Just imagining you in that position makes her body shiver.

Your mothers start to tell you some information about what you should know and what would happen. Even though the mission was so easy and simple, Wanda decided that it would be better if Natasha accompanied you, since if she went along she might end up getting so nervous that she would faint. And even though you assured that you would be careful, she made you hug her for at least five minutes, stroking your hair and giving you all the comfort you would need for that mission. "I love you so much my love."

"I love you very much too, Mama." You felt Wanda leave a long kiss on your hair as you laid your head on her shoulder. "I promise everything will be fine."

She laughs and takes a deep breath. "I'm the one who should be saying this. But you're right, my love." You separate from her and see that her eyes were full of tears.

Even though it seemed a little dramatic, you knew that Wanda was very close to you. Whenever your mother missed you because you were only away from home for a few hours, you remember when Natasha told you that when it was your first day of school when you were a toddler, Wanda didn't want to let you go at all. And now several years later, she still reacted the same way.

"Alright, we better go before Wanda makes us give up." Natasha says, making her other mother roll her eyes before walking towards her, leaving a long kiss on her lips.

"Ew, not in front of me." You make a disgusted expression at them, even if it was just a joke. You've always admired how much your mothers are in love with each other and how much they show it on a daily basis. Wanda always preferred physical affection to love Natasha, and Romanoff always preferred acts of service to love Maximoff. And even though they were different things, the two never disliked these acts.

"One day it's going to be you, sweetheart." They giggle before hugging each other as they say 'I love you'. 

[...]

Your hands sounded as you entered the Hydra base. A gun in hand as you looked in every corner of that place. You felt like something was out of position, but you tried not to worry. Maybe it was just your anxious conscious or maybe you were just too nervous. The noise of your heart was too loud and the only thing you heard was the faint footsteps of your boot on the ground. And even though you tried to focus on what was happening there at the moment, it seemed like now all of your mother Wanda's nervous genes were in you.

"I think I found it, Mom." You speak into the device in your ear, Natasha listening on the other side. She praises you, sending a wave of comfort to your mind that seemed to be trying to sabotage you at that moment.

You quickly place the pen drive in the computer and see the percentage of how much was transferred appear on the screen. You hold the gun tightly in your hands as you scan the place, looking at every possible corner. You walk to your right calmly, trying not to make too much noise in your tall black boots. And when you were about to take the next step, a big tud behind you made you turn around quickly, still with the gun pointed forward. "Mom, I just heard a noise-" And before you could finish speaking, the lights in the place went out completely, the energy going out.

"Y/n- need- leave-!" The device in your ear was getting stuck a lot, loud noises disturbing what little you could hear. Natasha tried to say something, but you almost couldn't hear, leaving you alone with your own thoughts.

With all the training you had you tried to stay as calm as possible. Even if you couldn't see if someone or something was with you, your ears tried to capture any sound coming from that space, but with the device in your ears it was almost impossible. You knew that if you took it off it would be a big risk if your mother ever managed to talk to you again. But it would also be a risk not to hear what was around you.

You debated with what you should do or not do, but it was too late when two large arms grabbed your body from the ground. You let out a startled scream when you realize what is happening. Your reflexes are quick as you forcefully push your elbow into the stomach of the stranger behind you. He staggers back, making you fall to the ground, but before you can do anything, a kick lands in your belly. You hit your head on the ground, making your vision even blurrier. Your gun was still stuck in your hands, so the first thing you do is aim forward and shoot, when you hear a male scream of pain you know you hit him somewhere. "You bitch!"

You don't realize what's happening when he takes a gun out of his pants and also shoots. You scream in pain when the bullet pierces your arm that was holding the gun, it wasn't very deep, but the pain was too horrible. And even if you tried, you couldn't raise your arm to shoot the guy again. You start to crawl backwards trying to get away from the figure that you still couldn't see in the dark and prayed that he couldn't see you too.

But when you started to hear his heavy footsteps towards you, you knew there was nothing left to do.

[...]

Wanda felt her heart stop when she heard the doctors moving around in the Compound. Someone had been hurt on some mission a few hours after you and Natasha left. Maximoff was shaking as she waited for the injured person's Quinjet to pull up, and even though she asked any of the doctors who the unlucky one was, it seemed like she was invisible to them. It seemed like they didn't want to respond to watch her heart break into a million pieces.

Wanda felt so nervous that she thought maybe she was going to faint. Thinking that the extremely injured person, since the doctors were going almost crazy to get everything they needed, could be you or Natasha, made her want to throw up her entire lunch right there. And when the car appeared in their vision, Wanda moved even closer, continuing to give the doctors space to do their work.

When the big door opened, the first thing your mother saw was Natasha with some bruises on her face along with tears that still fell on her pale face. Romanoff held you in her arms. One of them put pressure on your arm to stop the bleeding, but even so, you seemed to be bleeding from other places as a pool of blood was being spilled by Natasha's suit. Your body was unconscious and heavy in your mother's hands, your face completely scarred with cuts and bruises all over it. And even if your mother tried to look at your fragile and small body, she couldn't.

Maximoff lets out a grunt when she sees that you were the current patient. Seeing how Natasha staggered with you in her arms was one of the worst sights she could have had. You being placed on the stretcher while the doctors took you to surgery as quickly as possible was in her nightmares, and now, she could feel firsthand how horrible that was. Natasha follows the crowd of people, finally coming across her wife there. Romanoff didn't wait a second to throw herself into Wanda's arms as the two allowed the tears to fall. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

"Shh- it's not your fault, Natasha." Wanda tried to calm her down, even though it was almost impossible since she also needed comfort. "Y/n is going to be fine, it's okay."

"I- I couldn't get there in time. She was in- in a huge pool of blood and this guy was-" Natasha couldn't finish speaking before her eyes started bursting with tears again as she recalled the scene of you barely conscious on the ground while the Hydra agent kicked you mercilessly. Blood smeared everywhere and your face full of tears was what she saw every time she closed her eyes, it was horrible.

It took Wanda a few minutes to get Natasha to calm down. Despite many other occasions being the opposite, Romanoff has always shown how concerned she is about you. But seeing you and having to carry you almost dead in her arms was another thing entirely, and one that will probably haunt her forever. Natasha had the beginning of a panic attack there, with her blood on her suit and on her hands, but Wanda, knowing her wife, managed to make her feel like she was on the floor again.

A few hours had passed since you entered that operating room, and knowing that it would take a long time for the doctors to stabilize you, Wanda took care of Natasha, cleaning her body and putting her in more comfortable clothes to wait for you sitting in the waiting room. Your mother was able to breathe normally now, even though the tears hadn't stopped falling from both of their faces. Natasha felt her body want to sleep, but her mind wouldn't let her, not when you were fighting for your life in the next room.

Wanda runs her hand affectionately through Natasha's red hair that reminded her of your own. Her head on her shoulder as she felt her wife's body relax but then become rigid again, but even if Maximoff tried, she wouldn't be able to make Natasha relax. "Remember that time Y/n fell down the slide and broke her arm? She didn't even cry." Wanda spoke so softly that any outsider who saw it would think she wasn't as nervous as her wife.

"Yeah... she even asked you to break her arm with your magic so she could put a cast on it again so she could draw on it." Natasha laughs remembering when you were seven years old, you were probably the happiest child in the world.

"She's so strong," Wanda murmurs as she presses a kiss to Natasha's red hair and she closes her eyes taking a deep breath. "I know she'll make it out of this."

And when Maximoff stopped talking, one of the doctors who was participating in your surgery enters the room. Natasha was now more than awake, her body jumping up towards the man in the white coat. Wanda doesn't take long to join her either, rambling questions to the doctor over and over again. "Everything went well in the surgery to remove the bullet from Y/n's body, despite the heavy blood loss." Romanoff holds her wife's hand while listening to him talk about your conditions, squeezing it every time she feels like her heart is going to come out of her mouth. "Unfortunately, due to the severe injuries to her head, she was caused a brain injury called a concussion."

"Oh, God. She's going to be okay, isn't she?"

"Don't worry, Mrs. Maximoff. Concussion is a very common thing for people to experience and usually with a few weeks of medical treatment and rest she will feel well again." The two women were finally able to take a deep breath without feeling that nervousness in their chests. "You just need to pay attention to some symptoms she may have, such as headache, mental confusion, sometimes memory loss, nausea, vomiting, excessive fatigue and some other things that you will probably notice. With the treatment I am sure that Y/n will recover much better.”

Despite all these things you might feel, they were relieved that you were okay. And they knew you would recover quickly, your genes coming from Natasha and Wanda weren't just anyone, you were strong and everyone knew it. And even if they thought that way, nothing would prepare them for seeing you lying on the stretcher. Your body was so fragile and small there, your eyes looked so tired despite being closed and the cuts on your face didn't help. The tubes coming out of your body weren't the prettiest, but it was what was helping you survive at that moment.

"My baby girl..." Wanda stroked your hair as she looked at you now slightly pale face. Her comforting touch would make you lean against her even more if you were awake, but that wouldn't be possible at the moment. 

Natasha remained a little distant compared to Maximoff. She was scared, scared that if she made any move you would get hurt again, because in the redhead's mind everything that had happened was her fault. If she had checked to see if the area really was clean, if she had warned you as quickly as possible so you could get out of there, if she had arrived on time. "Nat?" Wanda knew what she was thinking, what she felt was written on the ex-assassin's face, and her wife had been with her for enough years to know what that mind was thinking.

In a few moments, Romanoff's body was enveloped in Wanda's affectionate and comforting embrace, who gently moved from side to side, holding her head against her shoulder while leaving a chaste kiss on her hair. Natasha knew that hug from anywhere, the hug that said everything was okay, that everything would fall into place again. Sometimes it took more than a hug for her to feel that, but sometimes she knew Wanda was right. "I w-want a hug too." Your hoarse voice was present at the scene, making your mothers quickly separate from each other.

"Y/n, my god! You scared me so much, don't ever do that again-"

"Wands, calm down, don't give her any more headaches." You chuckle along with your mother Natasha who was now holding your wife's hand. They walk towards your stretcher seeing that you still seemed to be a little disoriented with everything that happened, but even so you still had a smile on your face for them.

"How are you feeling, my love?" Wanda again made the same affectionate gestures to you as she sat next to you, feeling your body relax at her touch, but this time, you are awake enough to feel it.

"Headache and feeling like I might throw up at any moment."

"Ew." Natasha complains in a funny tone making you want to laugh at that moment, but having a headache would make things even worse. Romanoff still had an apprehensive tone on her face, maybe it was the guilt she felt she had or maybe it was seeing you in that place, with bruises everywhere. 

"You aren't hurt, are you, Mom?" Even though you almost died with a gunshot wound to your body and a brain injury, it was obvious that you would care about others, especially if it was one of your mothers.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me, sweetheart." Natasha moved a little closer to you, leaving a kiss on your forehead that was welcomed with a smile on your face. "I was so worried about you." She murmurs as Wanda places one of her hands on her wife's thigh, making small circles on it.

"I'm fine now, Mom. Thanks for going to save me." You put a small smile on your face in a funny way, trying to ease the tension of the hospital room.

"You know I'll always be here for whatever you need." Natasha wasn't just referring to helping you save yourself from physical violence, but she was also referring to helping you when you have any problems. Do you need a shoulder to cry on? She will be there. Do you need help completing a task? Don't worry, you know she won't take a minute to come to you. Problems with girls or guys? She will love telling you how she really knew the love of her life. 

In those times when something difficult happened, your mothers knew how to comfort and help you. You had an unbreakable bond and that always warmed your heart. Realizing that you had people who more than cared about you by your side was incredible. Maybe for some other people it was strange to have two mothers, but you didn't care, because for you, it was an indescribable magic.

[spider-ghoul]

HII!! Oh my word your fics are literally masterpieces! Like some of the best I’ve read on this whole website but my idea is Leo Valdez x child of big 3 reader where they are besties and like eachother but neither know it yet but they don’t feel like they live up to what is thought of/expected of children of posidion hades or zues and go to Leo for comfort and one ends up confessing (this is my first time doing an ask so I’m sorry if it’s too specific or anything but yea) byeee!!

Thanks so much for the request:) also omg thank you so much??? I love feedback so much and i was so happy when i got this!! Sorry this took so long, writers block hit aweful n ive been busy but here it is!

Im going with a child of hades (because thats me) so i hope thats okay its also pretty short

Synopsis: Leo's getting concerned about your absence, and checks in on you... He reminds you amazing you are : D

CW's: low self estee, nicknames (leo calls r spook), skin picking mentions, R didn't show up to breakfast/lunch (idk what i need to put that under),

You didn't show up to lunch today. Or breakfast.

That would be normal a few months ago, but since you had started sitting with your best friend, Leo Valdez, you started showing up to lunch.

It was a system of sorts: you wouldn't skip if Leo was there, and Leo wouldn't skip if you were there. His streaks of working for fourteen straight hours in bunker nine were gone. Eventually, you even became friends with his siblings too.

When you didn't show up to breakfast, he brushed it off. You had probably just slept in. But, then, you didn't show up to lunch either. That's when he got worried.

He wasn't worried about you, per say. His first thought was that you were mad at him. He had already prepared an apology by the time he approached your cabin.

He knocked twice, waited, knocked again, and then pushed open the door.

"hey, spook-? You in here?"

He slipped into the cabin, his eyes darting to the lump on your bed. At first he just thought it was a blanket. He realized soon after that you were hiding under it.

"spook?"

He approached you, sitting on the edge of your bed and resting a hand overtop your comforter.

"You awake..?"

He heard a sniff before a mumbled, "Yeah, M'sorry.."

His heart sank a bit, his concern growing.

"You...you okay?"

It took him a minute to realize it, but suddenly you were sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck, which was now being wet with tears.

He hesitated, not sure whether or not to say something. He decided to stay quiet, wrapping his arms around your back and pulling you a bit closer.

He swallowed tilting his head down into your hair, and you sat that way for a long time.

Eventually, your sobs dwindled down to sniffs, though his grip on you never loosened.

"Wanna tell me about it?"

He felt your nod, and loosened his arms around you just enough for you to look up at him.

"...I need to get stronger."

His eyebrows furrowed a bit, and his head tilted to the side, "Stronger?"

You nodded, "All of the other big three kids are so much... I dunno, better than me?" You paused, bringing up your hands to pick at your nail beds, "Everyone expects me to be some... Strong fighter who is ready to defend camp and...I'm not."

His raised one of his hands, putting it over yours. A silent plea to stop before you make your fingers bleed.

"You really think they expect that of you?"

"...Yeah."

"Spook, that doesn't matter." He watched you look away, biting the inside of your cheek, "anyone who expects that of you obviously can't see how amazing you already are."

You sniffed again, "but-"

"But nothing. Everyone is different, and some people are gonna be better fighters, and some people aren't. But they're gonna be amazing, kind, beautiful people. Like you."

Then you're crying again and he panics. What did i do-

His train of thought is cut off by the soft press of your lips to his cheek. He looks at you for a moment, and blinks.

"... thanks, Leo."

[florsial]

I've been wondering about something you've mentioned to do with Rab + reg multiple times, what are your "stages/parts" of their relationship/life? How does that develop/change?

now wow did this take me so long to respond...forgive me Starzz...

But! I've broken it into 4 acts:

Act I: Begining

-The start of their downfall basically.

-Not only is Rabastan trying to find his footing as an aristocratic 16-year-old bearing the brunt of his paternal family's disappointment and trying to redeem himself through a nonexistent act of redemption, but Regulus is also a foreign child picked up from their home and still trying to navigate a world where customs, language, and the overall culture are drastically different and everyone is watching him

-I think it's innocent enough in the beginning, Rabastan is being pestered by the 6-7-year-old Regulus and keeps trying to shove Regulus into a corner and leaving him with adults while Regulus thinks Rabastan is similar to Sirius.

Act II: Development/Regulus goes to Hogwarts

-Where it begins to get worse

-It's when Rabastan should've told Regulus off but he doesn't. He sees advantages and likes the sole attention. Where he used to push Regulus away, he now actively seeks Regulus out. With gifts, sweet words, compliments, and a shoulder to cry on. Because when Regulus left for the train, he spent months and months in loneliness and scribbled letters in an artist mad (expect he loki kinda is just insane but whatever). It's when Regulus kinda has a taste of how much he can hold over Rabastan

-I genuinely hate how sweet it can sound but it's a pivotal point! It's where their relationship starts to become fucked up. ITS THE MOST FUCKED UP PART. It's when people should've stepped in! It's when Rabastan should've backed off. But he doesn't! It's the part that's meant to make you second-guess yourself!

Act III: Relationship/Height of Wizarding War/ The House that Doesn't Exist

-The actual relationship itself and where it becomes a two-people issue

-Their relationship is in full swing during the First Wizarding War. Where hypocrisy is fully highlighted. They fully see each other as a part of each other's life, they aren't married but there is a sense of anger and frustration in the way they talk of weddings and children in an extravagant dining hall with real gold plates and utensils, while other newlyweds are being murdered in cold blood before they even have their honeymoons.

-They are a mockery, (the house that doesn't exist), trying to recreate something they've never witnessed <---a healthy home life/romantic relationship and marriage

-AND THEY DON'T EVEN FULLY "SEE" EACH OTHER! I've said before that they kinda of dehumanize each other for the sake of that "home life" like it's just another part of what a home "should be". Which is part of the reason why they love each other (the other being familiarity)! They both need each other to fulfill a deep desire. Like dolls in a dollhouse!

-Obviously, in this case, Regulus is older, he even bears the Dark Mark. He knows where Rabastan is weak. They've known each other for so long. There is a clear shift in dynamics when he takes that Dark Mark because it's not only proving his status and power (as the youngest DE as well) but it's also a slap in Rabastan's face because they are now both part of Voldemort's inner circle.

-Due to that, they never argue in this phase! They both are too aware of each other so it's easier to pretend it doesn't exist rather than get into an argument every other day (WHICH THEY LOOOOVEEE TO DO IN A MODERN SETTING BTW)

Act IV: Aftermath (Regulus' death and Rabastan's imprisonment in Azkaban)

-Ending. Not much else to it. It's like ending a book you spent too long procrastinating and rushed through within 2-3 hours and now you're just stuck with a stew of unprocessed feelings

-Rabastan feels betrayed for one. Like Regulus sauntered into his life, ruined it, and left without a word. In his biased perspective, Regulus left him for dead (metaphorically or literally is hard to tell). To him, Regulus is a traitor, not to Voldemort, but to him. He's angry and frustrated and I can see him loudly insulting Regulus either at the funeral or after (also when I think his relationship with Bellatrix deteriorates).

-He's stubborn enough to cling to that hate even after Azkaban until he dies.

-It's interesting because it might be the only point in his life where he ignores Rodolphus or he isn't concerned around Rodolphus. Regulus dies in 1979 and Rabastan spends 3 years insulting the dead and being bitter and betrayed and fighting as he was meant to do, then imprisoned, probably in a different cell than Rodolphus, and then when they break out there is something unspoken and different between them, the loyalty is still there, yes, but there is something else more unfamiliar. Before dying like another 2 active war years later.

The stages/acts of their relationship is really just the slow decline of what they could've been. They literally just get worse and worse yk. Think of it as a declining linear graph

[lettucesenku]

Yooo itz me again‼️‼️

y'know those self aware ES AUs?? its been on my mind for the entire day- Like I was thinking what if like, reader was crying because of something and the character on the home page gets all panicky abt what is going wrong- It's oka if u don't like it or something u can ignore it dw- (if possible can the characters on home page be Valkyrie-? Pretty please with a cherry on top?🥺)

-Ameki anon

Valkyrie x Reader (Self-Aware ES AU)

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　*　 . ✦　　　 　˚.　　　　 ⋆. ✩ ˚ ⋆. ˚　 ✦

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　*　 . ✦　　　 　 ˚.　　　　 ⋆. ✩ ˚ ⋆. ˚　 ✦

────── ☁︎♬──────♪☽ ──────

bbg i would literally give you my heart on a platter if you asked for it i would never ignore you ANYWAYS HIIIIIIII GUESS WHO GRADUATED???? WOOP WOOP‼️‼️sorry ive been so busy lately stuffs been kinda cray-cray but we ball. Ive got a summer job lined up before university classes start up in fall (yay employment) however its literally in the middle of nowhere and i'll basically be on call 22/6 🪦 so i wont have like any time or connection to be writing SO im gonna try and bust out at least 2-3 more posts before i leave. ALSO i need to apologize in advance bc i lowkey had no idea what to do for this/what this meant but i was NAWT gonna ignore a request from my favorite (only) anon so I diy-ed this to the best of my abilities it isn't very romantic reader is basically just manager ENJOYYYYYYY AKEMI MWAHHHH ♥️♥️♥️

────── ♪☽ ────── ☁︎♬──────

Today was a long day. It felt like so much and so little happened. You didn't realize just how close you were to the end of your bandwidth until you let your weight relax into the bedroom floor. Breathing didn't feel real: the light from your surroundings didn't fully reach your vision. Mindlessly, or maybe just subconsciously, you pulled out your phone. Your headphones were already sitting in your ears numbly, like they just fit there. You don't remember putting them in. Soon, a familiar short melody erases the thought from your mind. You're met with the home screen of your favorite game. A small smile sits itself underneath your breath, but it doesn't reach your eyes. You get a taste of it, though. A few salty tears hide down your face and into the crevice of your lips. That's surprising, you don't remember starting to cry, either.

Shu:

Shu was alerted of your arrival shortly after opening the app. He got up from his spot across the room and turned off the sewing machine. He prepared to chastise you for your tardiness: as he usually does while walking towards the front of the screen. However, today, he quickly saw his usually scolding would not be happening.

There were tears in your eyes as you looked down at him. Why? Why were there tears in his doll's eyes? For what reason do you come to him bearing sadness and grief of which he does not know the origin of? A slew of different scenarios paced through his head, like his train(1.) of thought (singular) suddenly had 19 different locomotives flooding the tracks with each of their rush hour routes.

What does one do in this situation? He can't touch you. He can't warm you in his arms or reach out to you. All he can do is stand concerned in front of you and wait for you to ask for him. Shu is not a typically patient man. Especially when it comes to.. other people. But you, ma cherie, he has more patience than a moon flower. He walks himself near the love seat in his sewing room and looks over you longingly. He'll wait for as long as you need him to, and when you're ready, all you need is call for him and he will be there.

You sit staring at the screen for a while. How much time has passed? Your curtains are shut, you don't really want to know. Just letting the water work its way through your system has helped a bit.

Mika:

Shu mentally scolds kagehira as he walks through the door, loud and energetic like a dog who's just brought their owner a stick.

"Hey teach! I got the buttons you wanted! These are the right ones, right?"

That ever-beaming smile is soon replaced by confusion as he turns his head from the love seat to you. Confusion quickly turns to worry as he sees the blank tear-stained expression on your face. He looks back over at shu with a panicked look as if saying "what happened? What do we do??" Hands up like a anxious kid.

Shu simply looks back at him calmly.

"Kagehira, lower your voice. You may place the buttons on my desk."

Mika noted the substantial lack of bite in his voice. He slowly tiptoed over to shu's sewing area and placed the bag down on the desk. He walked over to the love seat and curled up on the arm rest. Silently watching as shu lace knit beside him. Silence didn't last long though. Mika had much more patience then shu did, but that didn't mean he was good at being quiet.

"Ne ne, manager, do you know why seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! Haha!"

He started out in a shushed voice, but it only took a whopping 3 jokes before he was back to his normal rambonxious noise level.

"Managerrrrrr, do you know how to make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!"

You were starting to feel a bit better, even without ever actually leaving the homescreen. The tears weren't a steady stream anymore. Just onesies and twosies every now and then. Mikas jokes were corny, but you appreciated how he tried.

Nazuna:

Nazuna didn't particularly want to make the trip to the Valkyrie studio. Everyone was busy preparing for the next festival and Nazuna got sent on side quest duty to collect signatures from unit leaders. He stood in front of the door befor giving a hard knock and going in.

"Why don't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!"

Oh mother of earth what am I walking in on. Shu was sitting in the corner of the sofa, half a yard of lace growing from his hands. Meanwhile Mika sat crisscross on one of the arm rests nervously spitting corny jokes at a mile a minute. Shu side eyes Nazuna as he makes his way over to the couch, and unintentionally into of the homescreen view, looking at the papers in his hand.

"I need you to sign this for the festival Itsuki, why are you both staring like that?"

Nazuna turns behind him and sees you looking at him. Dried tears down your cheeks, red eyes, rosie nose, tired. Well that explains the apprehensive atmosphere. The papers can wait a bit. He's already gotten all the other units, and there's isn’t an ouncs of guilt in his conscience for making eichi wait.

Shu sets his lace down on the coffee table and motions for Nazuna to hand him the document. In a second it's in his lap with violet eyes scanning it carefully, flipping through the pages while the paper ruffles against the staple. He pulls an expensive pen out of his pocket and signs it in one swift motion. The document is already offered back to Nazuna withbone hand while the other is repositioning French stationary back in his shirt pocket.

Nazuna awkwardly stands with his back to the homescreen, glancing over his shoulder at Valkyries manager anxiously. Mika isn't a fan of the sudden taciturn air.

"Hey hey, Nito-nii, what do you call a angry carrot?"

I'll indulge him,

"What?"

"A steamed veggie"

────── ♪☽ ────── ☁︎♬──────

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　*　 . ✦　　　 　 ˚.　　　　 ⋆. ✩ ˚ ⋆. ˚　 ✦

[vivicas-dollhouse]

Witness

Ive been a witness to my life, it wasnt this way all the time

Genre: angst

Characters: tim wright/masky, brian thomas/hoodie

Desc: a blurb about a mission gone wrong with a bitchy masky :P

Cw: blood, stabbing, murder, guns, violence, mild gore description, that should be it

Enjoy :3

“God damnit, just fucking die!!”

•••

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Maybe it was and they were just tired, but it wasnt supposed to go this way whatever the reason. It had started fine, they had tracked the victim for hours, cornering him in the abandoned warehouse. They had the cameras set, they had weapons, they had the upper hand in all known ways. Yet, they failed to account for one thing: adrenaline.

“Get back, get away from me,” he had yelled, back against the wall of this shit hole filled with graffiti and the such. He looked scared, and maybe that was his strength. So unassuming that you almost believed he was powerless against the two men that had cornered him. Tim sighed, removing a lighter and cigarette from his pocket. Just another routine killing, that was all.

“Shut up and empty your pockets,” brian yelled, gun raised to the man. He watched as the man had reached into his pocket, but hadnt accounted for the man charging at tim with a knife. Tim had turned back a bit to late, and maybe it was brians panic or the sun in his eyes, but he hadn't fired. For some stupid reason, he didnt fire until tim screamed.

•••

Tim gasped, sitting on the ground next to the bullet riddled corpse. The shot had been direct, his brains blown across the floor in a beautiful painting, but it wasnt enough. Brian shot again and again, making sure that the victim wouldn't get up ever again.

“Jesus christ, hes dead,” tim groaned, clutching his side where a deep canyon had been torn into his flesh. Brian had seen his fair share of injuries in his time as a proxy, but for some reason tims always seemed the worst. He had always been there when he was hurt, and maybe that was for the better. Tim tended to power through things that could easily disable him, and it was always brian who had to drag him to jack to sew him up. It was annoying if it was anyone else, but not if it was tim.

“Are you ok?” Brian heaved, lowering his gun with a sigh.

“Im fine. Get his money.” Tim barked, attempting to get up. Brian watched as tim stumbled, falling back to the ground with a cry of pain. He reached his hand out to tim, who scoffed in response. “I said im fine, do your fucking job you goddamn screw up,”

“Screw up? You're calling me a screw up when you looked away?” Brian shouted, frisking the corpse's pockets, taking his wallet and knife. “God your so damn stubborn,”

Tim rose to his feet, still clinging to his abdomens gash. “Your the one who got me stabbed in the first place, lets go,” he growled, stumbling towards the exit.

Brian lifted his mask from his face, following behind closely. He huffed angrily, watching the trail of blood run down tims leg and train down behind him. “You have some fucking audacity,” he muttered, shielding his eyes from the setting sun. Tim responded with a grunt, limping along to the car.

“Oh shut up, this is entirely your fault,” tim accused, resting his hand onto the hood of the beat up chevy they had stolen.

“Your not driving tim,” brian fumed, feeling an explosion rising in his chest. “You cant drive like that,”

“Yes i am, fuck off,” tim groaned, yanking on the drivers side door. “Unlock the car dipshit,”

“Am i gonna have to knock your ass out to get some sense into you? You cant drive like that, its an hour back and your losing blood. Are you fucking stupid?” Brian seethed, walking around to the drivers side.

“Why are you being like this? You know i will be fine, your just being an ass. Unlock the fucking car.” Tim fumed, staggering as brian pushed against him.

“Tim, i mean this with all the love and respect in the world, i will beat the ever loving shit out of you if you do not get in the back seat. I dont think you can quite handle that right now.” Brian hissed, opening the back seat door. “Now get. In."

Tim groaned, sliding into the back with a pained grimace. “Your so damn stubborn, you know that?”

Brian sighed, climbing into the drivers seat. “Id rather be stubborn than dead because you pass out.” Brian pulled off his mustard hoodie, passing it back to tim. “Press this to your cut until we can get jack.” He said, jamming the key into the ignition.

Tim simply grunted in response, doing as he was told. “..thanks,”

“What was that?” Brian teased, a grin forming on his face.

“Shut up and drive, im losing blood here,”

[jjkamochoso]

Hi :) can could you do about Isao shinomiya pls?

Yes I absolutely can!! Thanks so much for requesting, I really hope you like this lil story I've written :) it's my first time writing for him so I'm praying I got the characterization down lol <3

Dreaming of the Director

Fluff

Isao Shinomiya x gn!reader

You feel disheartened when Director General Shinomiya tells you you're not doing well enough in training. Little did you know that the reason behind his harshness wasn't stemming from hatred...

Warnings: mention of hospital settings/medical tests/IVs (nothing graphic)

"You were sloppy; the wide steps you took were horrendous. Practice those moves again."

You didn't think your body could take anymore. You had been training under the guidance of Director General Shinomiya for many months now and today was no different than any of the other days you'd learned from him. Your routine consisted of spending every waking hour in the gym, doing cardio outside, or practicing fighting techniques and to say you were exhausted would be a complete understatement. You didn't want to give in to the fatigue as you knew it was an honor to be by his side in this capacity, but you were practically running on empty at this point.

"Director," you panted, sweat rolling down your back, "all due respect but I don't know how much more I have in me."

His face remained unchanged from its usual stone cold expression. "No excuses, Captain. Do it again."

And so you did.

Some (okay, most) days it felt like Shinomiya hated you. You tried to convince yourself that if he did, he wouldn't have kept giving you, a Defense Force captain, chance after chance to do better the next day, but your fears of never being good enough for him stayed at the forefront of your mind. You bent your knees and got back into position, ready to try the drill again. It felt like Shinomiya's icy glare was burning holes in your back as you bounced around, evading attacks from imaginary foe. When you were finished, you were afraid to meet his eyes, nervous to hear his feedback.

"L/n, are you even listening to any of the criticism I give you? You're leaving yourself vulnerable to the enemy with every punch you throw. Run it again."

You wanted to cry. Your muscles were on fire and you were so sluggish that it felt like your blood turned to cement in your veins. Still, you pushed on. You couldn't disappoint Isao.

"Yes, sir," you whispered, taking up stance once more. This time, you knew exactly where you went wrong all the times you practiced this prior. You readjusted your stance midway through the next move, but you realized you messed up again. Feeling your foot slip from beneath you, you tumbled to the ground, whacking your head on the hard floor. Dazed and enervated, you closed your eyes, savoring the cooling effect the floor had on your body.

"Get up, L/n," barked the director, but for once in your life, you ignored his order. It wouldn't hurt to rest for a second longer...

You felt strong hands grip your shoulders, your spent body shaking like a rag doll as you were pulled away from the oasis you created in your mind.

"L/n. Hey. Wake up."

You then registered the feeling of someone lightly slapping your face and your eyes fluttered open. Shinomiya was crouched over you, his bearded face just inches away from your own. His expression was mostly the same as always except this time, there was a new emotion present that you detected in his yellow eyes, if only for a moment--concern.

"You passed out. I'm taking you to the medic."

He was straight to the point as per usual. You really didn't want to inconvenience him or have him look down on you more than he probably already did, so you tried to convince him your condition was stable.

"No, sir, I promise I'm alright. That was a long enough break, I can go again."

His voice was stern. "You're going to the medic and that's an order. I'll write you up if you disobey."

You gulped, nodding in compliance. Isao swiftly lifted you off the ground, allowing you to lean on him as he walked you to the med bay. You didn't know if it was because of your tired physical and mental state or what, but having Shinomiya so close to you was making your heart skip a few beats; the tight, almost protective, hold he had on you certainly wasn't helping you breathe any easier either. You'd thought he was handsome since the day you laid eyes on him, but it was just a simple crush. He was so unattainable for you, being both the Director General and totally emotionally cut off from everybody and everything after the death of his wife all those years ago. You ignored the aching feeling of your heart in favor of focusing on the more favorable aching of the rest of your body. When you finally made it to the medical building, all the doctors rushed over at the sight of Isao, anxious to help the most important man in the Defense Force.

"You," Shinomiya said, pointing to the first doctor that had shown up, "give L/n a once-over, please. They were training too hard and passed out."

"Right away, sir."

You were immediately ushered to a big room with a comfy bed, all perks of being accompanied by the Director General. As tests were being run on you, you valiantly fought the urge to fall asleep on the bed whose cozy sheets were calling your name. Shinomiya said nothing the whole time, his gaze fixated out the window as he looked deep in thought. Finally, the doctor came back in with your results.

"You're just really dehydrated," she explained, reading the chart on her clipboard. "We'll start an IV for ya and you'll be good to go in no time. Sound alright?"

You nodded in agreement and she got to work. When your IV was pumping much needed fluids into your body, you laughed joylessly.

"All this was caused because I didn't drink enough water? I really can't do anything right, can I?" You slapped a hand across your face in despair.

"Don't speak like that," scolded Shinomiya, "you do things right most of the time. You're much more useful than you give yourself credit for."

You tried not to let your jaw hang open in shock. That had to have been the nicest thing he'd ever said to you!

"Thank you, Director," you breathed out, still not believing your ears. Shinomiya grunted in response, his attention turned back to whatever was happing outside your window. You craned your neck to see what he was looking at, wondering what outside could possibly pique the man's interest so much.

"If I do most things right," you spoke up after some time, "then how come I can't nail your training? There's gotta be a reason I'm never good enough for you."

You didn't mean to tack on that last sentence out loud but you were curious about why your training never landed you praise, even when you did well. You could tell Shinomiya was trying to choose his next words carefully.

"I think you're a very smart, powerful captain with a promising future within the Defense Force. I have to push you beyond your limit so when you’re sent out to neutralize kaiju you don’t…” He was hesitant, more so than you’d ever seen before. “So you don’t die. It’s our duty to lay our lives on the line for the betterment of society and as you know, I’ve lost many people close to me because of that.”

He sucked in a breath. “I refuse to lose you too, y/n.”

You were absolutely shocked for the second time in a few minutes. Shinomiya used your first name while basically telling you he cared for you. You were wondering if you were hallucinating all of this but the warm, comforting hand on your shoulder proved to you the situation you were in was all too real.

“Get some rest. I’m giving you tomorrow off but I’ll see you at 5am sharp the next day.”

He removed his hand and vacated the room, but not before you spotted something strange blossoming on his face.

The tiniest curl of his lips, indicating a smile.

You wore your own smile as well as you ruminated on Shinomiya’s admission. He would most likely never state his true feelings for you outright, but this was a very pleasant start and would serve as motivation for you to work even harder in your training. You absentmindedly stared out the window when something in the distance caught your eye. It must’ve been what the Director was looking at as well since it was a beautiful sight. Most of the military base you were on was made from concrete, but in one of the cracks grew the most glorious flowers. The blooms were a brilliant shade of yellow that reminded you of the hair color of Isao’s daughter, Kikoru. It was then you realized there were three flowers, two smaller and one big, and the large one loomed over the others as if it were guarding them, shielding them the best it could without stunting their growth. The world was full of metaphors and you chose to believe this one represented Isao watching over you and Kikoru. Your head fell back on your pillow, ready for much needed sleep, and the image of Isao smiling led you into many pleasant dreams.

[bubbly-midnight]

✋🏻🫩 // TW

irregardless of how much medical training i have, there is nothing that could have prepared me for last night or any of the following fall out.

i have nothing but my own intuition to be grateful for at this point. and the friends i have on my side. i could nearly cry at their messages flooding my phone. love feels so warm.

it was so sweet texting amber this morning about that line that made me think of her. “I’ve had many friends, but you’re the one that mattered the most.”

having soft landing points in these times is something i can’t express enough gratitude for.

it’s probably not helping me listen to my old emo playlist from highschool that i made after I’d been raped by him. but fuck !!

this song always resonates too well

SIIIIGGGHHHHH

i haven’t been able to stomach eating in almost 36 hours. ive run 6 miles. i’ll soon force myself to stomach something and try not to gag.

how could i eat after all of this?

coming home to the scene that i did was exquisitely painful.

such complicated feelings

I wonder how long it will take before my mind stops replaying catching her as she fell, trying to make out the words of what was happening. the smell of alcohol on her breath. the way she was holding onto that glass like a lifeline. the way she could just laugh through it the entire time. the eerie calmness i had.

would i feel better if i had been hysterical? if i hadn’t done everything exactly as they needed to be done, perfectly on time? “you just looked tired.” give me a break.

that empty bottle of clonazepam. “I took too many pills.” but the drug screen came back negative? the BAC was only 0.106% ? that’s drunk but not drunk enough to quickly deteriorate under a span of 10 minutes, breathing rate falling… 19, 17, 12 breaths per minute. that faint weak pulse under my fingertips. sitting. watching. waiting for the moment I’d have to drag her body to the floor and put all those hours of BLS coursework to real work. how would i have ever moved foward working in the medical field if the first person i ever had to do compressions on was YOU?

within minutes, doing coma assessment. responsive only to pain. not shouting. not shaking.

and to see the same cop that showed up to the door just two weeks prior look me in the eyes and see that he knew exactly the cause of what drove your actions.

worried sick to my stomach from 1am u til 8am when i finally got word she was alive. somehow managed to sleep after speaking with amber just to wake up to more information.

a negative drug screen. why the fuck were you holding an empty bottle of clonazepam?

alcohol doesn’t explain what i saw. alcohol doesn’t explain how she’s still asleep, barely responsive, not knowing what month or day it is, not knowing what happened or where she’s at.

i can’t even begin to formulate how i feel when it’s changing ever second. im worried. heartbroken. betrayed. overwhelmed. sickened. confused. going through flashbacks of finding Helen having a heart attack, my brother calling paramedics, watching her get wheeled out of the house on a stretcher. i still can’t stand to hear that song.

this is possibly the worst time for me to be sober, but im committed to the bit. i think this would be a reason and be justified in it to relapse, but ive grown past taking the pain of others out on myself.

for now I’ll just blast this music, feel too many things while im out in this field picking at this food, trying not to feel guilty about watching these fireworks.

July 3-4 usually my favorite days just because of the weather and explosions. feels so… wrong now.

idk. I don’t know what I need. Probably just people to talk to. Distractions. Small moments of peace.

[wondermentishere]

word to my tropical virgo north node... i get so bored and lose interest when i dont have a solid plan of execution. i was feeling good killing it at work all day then it just went down hill cause ive been down about my work out plans. i feel like i am definitely gaining muscle but i want real functional strength. im still trying to figure out how to incorporate body weight exercises with my weight training. ive also been cracking down tracking my calories because ive just been gaining more and more weight since ive started t again. i already have an extremely round face and putting on more pounds just adds to the moon effect.

the shape of my face has bothered me my entire life and echoes of my sister telling me i have a moon face and no chin replays pretty much everytime i look in the mirror. i dont think im ugly but.. it makes me dysphoric and i contemplate getting plastic surgery. i think im too scared something will go wrong or ill come out looking worse so id rather just stick with what i have and lose weight to slim it down overall.

good news though, ive been practicing on my new guitar atleast 30 minutes everyday this past week. its been frustrating to learn the instrument my entire life because ive never had proper guidance to even know what i need to be focused on when i practice to progress. story of my life. but ive been playing for a solid 3 years now (minus last year) and i feel like its starting to click more and more. i really want to merge with the instrument until it becomes an extension of my soul. i feel like to get there i have to get to point where im practicing like 8 hours a day. im not sure if thatll happen but im going to try!! i also want to learn other instruments though and become a true musician and make beautiful music that spreads positivity and hope in the world.

music has been my bestfriend lately. last night i spent so many hours just thinking about life and crying while listening to magic that artists have put so much work and effort into. its just so beautiful and its the reason why i dont feel completely lonely right now.

[spookywhisperswizard]

ive always known. ive always know it wasn’t just my ‘hormones’. ive always known that my mood swings weren’t normal and ill ‘grow out of them’.

last year when i was in therapy, my doctor said that i had strong symptoms towards an emotionally unstable personality disorder. this played on my mind FOR MONTHS. it made sense. my moods were up and down more than a fucking yo-yo.

however, in the past 3/4 months, i have come to the conclusion that it’s more likely borderline personality disorder. the scariest mental illness. the untreatable mental illness. the one that has stopped my best friend from ever working a day in her life again.

just them 3 letters - b p d.

im going to be a teacher for crying out loud. i can’t be mentally unstable! how am i going to have the patience to teach. im so scared that this illness is going to change my whole damn world. i know it’s possible to be a teacher with bpd. but i can’t help but feel like if my school find out, i won’t be trusted.

bpd is such a stigmatised mental disorder. we are collectively seen as violent, unapproachable, unpredictable, rude and aggressive. how will i ever prove i am good enough and not like the stigma attached to them 3 letters?

ill be honest, im still not 100% to terms with it. but the way i act and the way i have been in the past proves it.

my childhood trauma, my drunk abusive dad, the bullying by my ‘best friends’, coming to terms with my sexuality, multiple attempts, and countless amounts of scars over my entire body - this is the reason i am who i am. a 24 year old with borderline personality disorder who is training to become an english teacher, who wants to eventually become a head of year, struggling ever fucking day with her brain.

probably the biggest trait i am struggling most with is the ‘favourite person’. over the past 24 hours, ive realised who my favourite people have been and it has changed everything.

A was my first.

C was my second.

K is my current.

A and C make sense. but K? never in a million years did i think a 41 year old man would be the person i want to be with constantly. the person i want to care for and constantly make sure is okay. but he ignored me.

and im not coping with it at all.

sometimes, well - most of the time, i just want my brain to stop. nothing anyone can say changes the way i feel, i am never going to be good enough.