spookywhisperswizard

[spookywhisperswizard]

[spookywhisperswizard]

“Am I lonely because no one cares, or am I lonely because I’m not strong enough to let anyone get close enough to care?”

— Rob Hill Sr., I GOT YOU: Restoring Confidence in Love and Relationships

[spookywhisperswizard]

I became so attached to my depression that I can't imagine my life without it anymore

[spookywhisperswizard]

i feel like someone dead pretending to be alive

[spookywhisperswizard]

Got too attached and now I feel stupid

[spookywhisperswizard]

I already said too much.

I already shared too much, and I want all my secrets back.

I hate getting close to people these days.

I always regret sharing too much, caring too much, doing too much, feeling too much.

[spookywhisperswizard]

I'm fucking exhausted

[spookywhisperswizard]

The message I’ve been waiting 22 hours for.

I know I’m toxic.

But my favourite person doesn’t care anymore, clearly.

WOOOOOO WE LOVE BPD

[spookywhisperswizard]

my legs are dangling off the edge

the bottom of the bottle is my only friend

i think i’ll slit my wrist again

and i’m gone

gone

gone

gone

[spookywhisperswizard]

"recovery is not linear" does not mean "relapse is inevitable," it means "treat yourself with kindness and compassion if a relapse does happen."

[spookywhisperswizard]

i want you close like skin, but i don't say that. // your name is so perfectly sewn onto my tongue; / no matter how hard i try, the stitches won't come undone.

fatima aamer bilal, from moony moonless sky’s ‘when god pottered hands, i. your dishwasher is empty.’

[spookywhisperswizard]

I feel like I died years ago...

And now I'm just a ghost waiting for this to end.

[spookywhisperswizard]

Mine~~

[spookywhisperswizard]

I don't wanna feel so lonely anymore

[spookywhisperswizard]

tumblr has become my ranting space again. am i 25 or 15 i can’t tell

[spookywhisperswizard]

he helps more than he’ll ever know

[spookywhisperswizard]

I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I can’t keep pretending like everything is okay. He lost his job because tested positive for coke and weed. But continued to lie about it. Spending all of his money, and mine every week. Never paying a penny towards food but expects me, a student, to pay for everything. Am I his mum or his fiance? Because right now I can’t fucking tell.

I don’t want him to even touch me right now. Asking me if I want to have sex and I couldn’t think of anything worse. My dad hates him. And my mum is slowly hating him too. How is that going to help me in any way? I need time and I need space. But his mum is a cunt. We haven’t spoken to her in over 3 weeks over a cat. I want him to move out, because I’m so sick of being around him. I’m staying at work for hours after school ends just to be away from him. When I come home, he’s there. When I leave for work, he leaves with me. I never have any time by myself. How do I even communicate this with him? But there’s no where for him to go. His mum won’t take him back, and his dad lives in Wales. I need to be selfish but I can’t.

And that brings me on to yesterday. Why do I want to kiss you? You’re like a brother to me. Why do I keep thinking about you? Why do I constantly want to talk to you? I mean, you are my favourite person right now. But that shouldn’t be a crush? Surely? Yet I still help him with his own crush and trying to figure out if she feels the same way about him. And that doesn’t make me feel like shit. It gives me a boost, a serotonin boost if you will. But why did I have a fantasy of us kissing in the photobooth? I keep imagining what our life would be like if we were together. And I feel so fucking guilty.

I just need to disappear. I don’t want to be here anymore. What’s the fucking point?