#ive been calling her bi for some time but i am not sure about it and honestly

[castlebyersafterdark]

i think youre right about the bi/gay debate (sorry to bring it to you... im not bringing it in a Im New Here way, but rather an I've been here a while and youre someone i feel safe asking about this, sort of like sitting down at a kindly hot gay wizard's knee and asking for wisdom way hehe.)

HOLY HECK i did not even see the slideshow length, 300?! i know we celebrate the boys here, but when youre compiling like that it starts to feel like compensating for something. and you're right - so far (im about halfway through) ive been asking myself things like 'but why does that make mike bi?' on every other slide. theyre detailing the plot of s4 from mike's pov; things that all bylers agree on, gay and bi truther alike. none of it so far is evidence for bi mike. at one point they say 'theyre not compatible in a romantic relationship, but mike likes kissing her as we can see here...' and this is what has me respectfully yelling HOW CAN WE SEE THIS PLEASE because so much of these discourses is about opinion and subjective interpretation. im about to sound like a nerd: it really makes me miss school. and uni. and debate club. and seminars. with actual discussion and evidence. hell, i even miss english class and writing essays. make a point. provide evidence. follow up with explanation. the teachers actually called it P.E.E.

PEE. amazing.

but youre right, because its ok for everyone to have their interpretations, especially as the show is unfinished! maybe im just endlessly confused by people's need to justify and be right. what is gained? i think i expected too much from the fandom lol, i expected academia. i feel like i get that open-mindedness from some places though, and from you (plus many other treats heh heh). i think i would love to have had you in my uni classes, vinny! youre so interesting and kind.

and im endlessly interested in the sexual attraction vs. love thing, because ive definitely seen people say that sexual attraction isnt needed. aromantic gay folk, etc... i must be honest and say it gets beyond my understanding and i cant form an opinion on that

footnote 1: im gonna finish the slideshow because today i was reading about the Sunk Cost Fallacy and want to be masochistic (only 150 slides left! its ok though, the vast majority are screenshots of the show itself that illustrate... nothing lol)

Hope you two anons don't mind a little three-way action combining this conversation 🤭 just so my blog isn't dominated by this topic with redundant points! I totally don't mind the topic if it's open and friendly and analytical rather than fighty. All good here. Under a cut since this is long and if people want to skip this topic:

"sitting down at a kindly hot gay wizard's knee and asking for wisdom" - Firstly, love that, obsessed with you. And YEAH the number of slides made me irl do that slow blink meme gif, we know the one. I wasn't very compelled. Am I too staunch and biased? It's not that "oh this character must be gay because I'm gay and like Byler" - no? A lot of people like Byler and aren't gay at all. I've been in fandom culture a long time and don't need to project. I just see what I see. I've shipped many things where I knew the characters weren't queer but I liked the idea. This is the first time in a long time that I feel the shipping and analysis collide and can actually be one in the same, a fandom rarity in my opinion and taste in media.

Anyway. A lot of the points for bi Mike overall from many sources of discussion never strike me as evidence he's bi. They could so often go both ways (HA SORRY) to bi vs gay points. And then the gay points tip the scales. So much of the argument is subjective, for sure. But there is coding and hints and arcs that lend solid evidence. His LACK of attraction to women just feels so clear to me when we have soooo much of that with the other male characters? He just acts differently, abrasive to certain concepts. And his relationship with El is a mess. I will feel so odd if we've all analyzed that wrong. All the points about Mike's weird expressions, his awkward physicality with her as opposed to Will, never really seeming all too enthused. It's almost looks like panic sometimes. A lot of what he says that's read as romantic feels like a performance for other people around - MIKE is the one overcompensating here, truly. His defeated facial expression before he says he loved El in the monologue is such a giveaway to me. He's about to lie for his life and hers.

This is what I mean by life and death. Guilt over his new friend dying for them season 1. Anger at Hopper hiding her while he missed her and felt guilt over what happened. Season three conformity and puberty confusion arc, getting mixed up from growing up and trying to be normal. The excitement that yes, I can be normal, this girl likes me. Changing his personality to fit, and overcompensating for not knowing the difference between platonic and romantic feelings for this girl - he struggled with the platonic because he feels he can't have that so his relationship is messy and too physical, not emotional. His mind and body and heart are all at odds. He and El aren't really friends because they haven't had the time or allowed their relationship to be anything but this need to have it be romantic - El's issue, too, with not really engaging with society in a meaningful way. Rambling now. But it's not hard to see if we're paying attention. Haven't even touched on anything to do with his behavior in regards to men or Will - this is already too long.

I think a lot of people will continue to ship what they want regardless of the outcome and honestly - that's fine? What if the worst happens and Mike ends up with El? I will still be a hardcore Byler fanboy until Stranger Things is not a fandom I'm interested in engaging with. I don't really care. I'll forge my own reality through fanfic. I believe those who still want to engage with Mlvn will do so. I can understand why people choose to see Mike as bi. His sexuality isn't canon yet (as opposed to Robin and Will). It's what they're into and HC since we do not know 100%. I'm not so blinded and delusional to not admit that.

Creativity and analysis overall - to anon #1's point. Yes!!! Glad to be enrolled with you at Stranger Things university. I got my little notebook out, overly caffeinated but I'm there for class. I'm the annoying guy interjecting. But I feel like you'd be sitting next to me in lecture backing me up.

and im endlessly interested in the sexual attraction vs. love thing, because ive definitely seen people say that sexual attraction isnt needed. aromantic gay folk, etc… i must be honest and say it gets beyond my understanding and i cant form an opinion on that

I find it fascinating, too! Which is why I try to learn more and more and always try to consider different viewpoints. It's a broken record, but these orientations are totally valid and props to anyone finding what works, figuring themselves out. I don't think everyone is ever going to completely understand every aspect of human sexuality. I don't. I'm always learning. I'm gay and both a hopeless romantic and a guy with a high sex drive so maybe certain realities and lifestyles I don't fully understand the intricacies of - but that's ok. We don't have to walk an authentic mile in each other's shoes, but we do need to respect each other and leave room on the path!! 😁

And a secret 3rd anon appears!! You said please don't post so I won't. But thank you for filling me in on fandom lore. I didn't know all that!!! Yikes babes. I don't like those vibes!!! 🙃 But, that is not my energy, we're all chill and into fun and discussion here. We don't personally have to give weight to every character interpretation but we also don't have to get at each other and blatantly fight. I'm just vibing 😌❤️

[misspickman]

fero pickman and xue yang. i know all your comics friends have you covered

fero !

Sexuality Headcanon: bi i think. i dont think hed care about defining that tbh. also keith once called him aromantic on twt and idk if thats generally considered canon but i enjoy it<3

Gender Headcanon: little guy. again to me? genderqueer but idk if hed care about it. in a modern au maybe, but less because he wants to define it and more because people would ask that of him. which maybe just makes him refuse to define it even more. much to think about

A ship I have with said character: ephero.. theyre so real in my heart.. i dont think about them much anymore but when i do. ah :(. also ferol he fucked that old man

A BROTP I have with said character: fero and hella and adaire,, what we could have had,, also mother glory. and samol. anyone of the main pcs tbh just put this guy in dynamics

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh idk honestly. i cant think of anything rn? im sure i have some but ?

A random headcanon: do you remember when we gave him a bunch of cats in our au. also: always fixing shit. this is how he shows he cares. he will not say it but he will fix that hole on hellas roof and be grumpy the whole time

General Opinion over said character: he has changed my brain chemistry irreparably. listening to seasons of hieron and going hes just like me fr (derogatory)

pickman!!!

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian. probably not something she thinks about much, a la "im probably nb but i have a job so idc about that now"

Gender Headcanon: my big butch wife. but in general same as above, she is what she is and shes too busy to dwell on it, and its not like its anyone elses business, right? also what even Are gender expectations of a caprak? i dont think this is ever discussed but i would like to know

A ship I have with said character: pickman/chantilly scathe.. man

A BROTP I have with said character: alekest :) and colette<3

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh idk i cant imagine her with men. the lesbian energy is off the charts

A random headcanon: i would like to think she gets more into art after zevunzolia. maybe into wood carving. it would be sweet. would she write poetry.. i dont think she would consciously sit down to do it but she is Very good at writing letters (thanks jack, for that<3)

General Opinion over said character: miss pickman my wife miss pickman.. we shall have a spring wedding.. i think about her six travelers ep So much. "I think it is something magical that separates us. Again, I am not speaking metaphorically."

xue yang :)

Sexuality Headcanon: probably bi. similar to what i said for fero but for entirely different reasons, i dont think hed care

Gender Headcanon: you see this is a Question. its been so long since ive actively thought about this so i cant articulate it but theres something going on there

A ship I have with said character: songxue, songxuexiao, i love a very horrid and messy xueyao too. any ship with xue yang is horrid and messy but in most cases the horridness is one sided but in xueyao its both of them. this increases the levels of horridness. u get me

A BROTP I have with said character: in my beautiful mind and nowhere else? wen qing. in a more realistic sense aqing and meng yao

A NOTP I have with said character: oh im sure there are many xue yang ships i would not enjoy but i dont wanna think about it rn. but uhh him and mo xuanyu? i just dont vibe

A random headcanon: in any modern au i am giving this guy soo many tattoos and piercings. also motorcycle guy

General Opinion over said character: i miss him its such a shame i can never step back into that fandom. also changed my brain chemistry but in a completely different way

[oceanwithouthermoon]

have you ever considered some abstract-ass pairings? like the "how the fuck did you even come up with that pairings?

im not accusing you of doing it lol, but i personally do and am. curious to see if i am normal

IM NOT TOTALLY SURE, because i tend to have very specific reasonings for why i think two characters would be good together, but i definitely think that from an outside perspective some of my ships can be seen as pretty abstract..

(under the cut again sorry im nonstop yapping for way too long guys..)

BUT almost any pairing you think of in a semi-popular fandom like saiki k, SOMEBODY has probably made content about it.. and its more popular in japan, so you may not be able to FIND ur pairing but theres probably SOMETHING out there about it, just in a language you aren't searching in or something.. like, toritsuka x kuboyasu is one pairing i have NEVER seen an english speaking person post about, but if you go in japanese or korean speaking saiki k spaces, that ship is EXTREMELY popular! theres TONS of fanart!!

so yea, whats popular or even what gets any content at all can be surprising sometimes.. like, a few of my favorite tdlosk ships are arisu x rifuta, arisu x aiura, and rifuta x yumehara (+arisu x yumehara but this is kinda popular i think) (im just a lesbian with a bias towards sapphic ships, i see two pretty girls and i ship..) and i shipped them before i ever started looking online for content and when i finally did, i didnt think i would ever see any content of them but. there is. theres plenty of content of them. theyre rare enough pairs that i dont think they have ship names so it can be hard to actually find that content since theres no ship name ever tagged, but it very much exists!

if youd asked me this like a month ago i wouldve said that saiki x suzumiya is one of these abstract ships for me (if you wanna know why i like it, i just like the idea of instead of satou being so average he balances her out, saiki just like superhero-ing every other minute without her even noticing. i also like this as a polycule which ill talk about in a minute-) but somebody on here posted it around that time LOL.. theres also some other rare pairs i enjoy like mera x saiki or kuboyasu x yumehara, but though these are rare-ish pairs, they still have a notable presence so i wouldnt quite call them abstract.. (also yo damn well kubosai is my NUMBER ONEEEE ship, which you could call a rare pair if you didnt go on tumblr or ao3 cuz its VERY concentrated over here and doesnt really exist anywhere else.. except in the japanese fandom LOL.. but yea its definitely not a rare pair over here, its gotten way more popular recently too..)

the more abstractness comes when you start shipping polycules... then its way less likely for you to be able to find your specific ship.. lol.. like the ones i just talked about, you put rifuta x yumehara x arisu x aiura all together ?? no WAY am i gonna find that, it may exist somewhere but youll never find it, or at least i couldnt lol.. some of my fav rare (more like completely nonexistent except for some IVE posted about) polyam ships are the one i just said, kuboyasu x saiki x hairo x nendo, (also love kuboyasu x saiki x kaido but this one actually gets content hehe.. same with kuboyasu x kaido x yumehara.. LOVE that one..) mera x yumehara x aiura, kuboyasu x saiki x saiko (x kaido maybe), toritsuka x kaido x yumehara, mera x saiki x kuboyasu (x saiko sometimes and/or hairo) and probably more that im forgetting... i also really love the psychickers x satou and suzumiya which im actually not sure if theres ever been content of them, i think the only time ive seen it mentioned is someone being like "theyre dating hehe" on a pic of them lol.. its a funny ship for me because its actually one of my favorites even though some of the individual ships im not a fan of + i also hc that satou is very very straight but idk.. somehow this works.. i feel like maybe if he starts dating suzumiya and shes bi and polyam then it might accidentally give him a sexuality crisis because hes probably never even considered that he could be queer before.. idk.. whatever.. it just works..

idk, someone give me examples of tdlosk rare pairs that could actually work...

[mithliya]

This is random but i have to ask someone:

Bi women are the ones being targeted for 3somes more often. Unicorn hunting is specifically about bi women

BUT at the same time lesbians are hurt much more than bi women by the constant influx of couples on dating apps, because bi women do have the capability to be attracted to and enthusiastically consent to a male unlike lesbians

Now that is my opinion but when I’ve said this ive been called both homophobic and biphobic, so am i missing something?

im sure bi women are fetishised as unicorn material more often and the term unicorn in general is used to mean bisexuals open to threesomes or sth of the sort. but im not sure if id say they’re targeted more often in that sense. i can only speak on my personal experience here but on dating apps there were several times id match with a woman and talk to her and she’d reveal that she’s looking for a third for her and her boyfriend/husband. several times i matched w a woman then go to her profile and realise there’s sth in there about how they’re actually a couple (but for some reason only put the woman’s pics and the one pic hidden in there of her w her bf/hubby, or only mention it at the very end of their profile). so many times id be like “im a lesbian obviously im not interested in a threesome with ur man” and they’d act like it was my fault and im dumb or sth. it literally says im a lesbian in my profile and it also has a line about “not interested in your boyfriend” in there!!! so i would say lesbians are pretty heavily affected by this phenomena too. there’s even a case of a lesbian lured into this date w a bi woman only for it to turn out that it was one of those unicorn hunting situations and she ended up getting murdered and raped by those ppl.

i can somewhat agree to the 2nd part of what u said. it is more insidious and harmful for lesbians that dating apps are filled with unicorn hunters like that mostly bc there are actually bi women into that (albeit rare, hence them being called unicorns). but there’s not gonna be any lesbians into having a threesome w someone’s man.

idk why people got mad at u tho. i disagreed w part of ur statement but im not mad over it? i can’t measure how much more unicorn hunters go after bi women comparatively, i just know i dealt with way too many of them and many of them are sly and trying to get lesbians for whatever reason which is gross

[seijatachiis]

just another queer journey for pride month

so i figured since its pride month and its been basically a decade since i started my queer journey id just talk about it. especially bc theres been recent changes too!

my name is al and im nonbinary, they/them! mm well im asexual so i guess im technically panromantic? maybe demiromantic? ngl im still not sure but ill get to that. its also been about a year since i met my bf whos a transman and we often talk a lot about gender and sexuality.

like most people my journey started in high school. i had been reading BL fanfics for bands i liked around the end of elementary school and i think i was aware of transmen and transwomen. i really didnt know more than the basics, lesbian/gay/bi/transman/transwomen. someone i met in hs, an old friend, is the one who opened the door. at first obviously he didnt know me so he just told me to call him a very gender neutral sounding name and they/them. and that was the first time i had heard about someone using they/them pronouns. eventually he came out and said no im a trans so he/him? then he was basically like are YOU actually a woman?

obviously im paraphrasing bc honestly i dont remember much from how it started exactly or the exact conversation but i rememer looking into it a little and the next day i said i dont think im really a woman. i started using they/them pronouns and decided i was demigirl. i was kinda a tomboy when i was younger but it was more i just liked pokemon and the boys always had more interesting things but i liked "girly" things a little bit. i never really felt like i wanted or wished i was a man.

it might be because ive been using they/them for so long now but i got used to them quickly and they just felt so right. i didnt really focus too hard on what i identified as tho i was demigirl until uni. i remember this because i met a person who at the time was also demigirl. hes a transman now, which is great. im not sure but at some point in 2019 i think i realized i was nonbinary. i think it mightve happened when- im not out in real life. fear mostly but also bc i dont really care about other people, as long as those i care about know im nonbinary and use they/them i dotn care too much. anyways i remember being on break at work, my boss came in and was talking to my supervisor, just a "hey whats happening today" and was like "is she ready for her aquafit" and im like listening and im like oh whos doing aquafit.

it was me lol. he was talking about me. was so confused bc i dont usually hear people talking about me so i dont hear myself being referred to as she anymore. anyways its really not much to it. i did briefly try he/him in high school and the first time my friend used it i was like nope thats wrong nope.

i dont...think i really experienced gender dysphoria. or body dysphoria. i have issues with my body and an extreme disconnect to it but thats tied more to the general societal standards of beauty and less about my gender?

gender was never really the problem. my sexuality - more specifically if i was aromantic or not, has been the thing ive been struggling with and ive realized i never . solved it yet.

im p sure im panromantic/pansexual whatever, gender doesnt much matter to me bc ive always been more about if we get along. we gotta vibe yknow? the bf and i, our first date... the vibes were there. well i didnt feel the romantic vibes it was more just we definitely get along. im getting sidetracked and this is already super super long.

that same friend asked me if i was aroace. i didnt know what that meant, he explained it and i was like huh. maybe i am? i dont really recall ever having a crush on anyone or liking anyone. ive definitely not had sexual desire for anyone. but i just figured thats bc i havent liked anyone. so yeah i was aroace. a few years later i would rethink that.

because i forgot how insecure i am. and im thinking...there might have been two guys i had a crush on when i was younger but because i knew they'd never like me like that, i pushed the feelings so far down so maybe . maybe im not aro.

ill be honest, its been way too long now - i still dont know if i had a crush on them. but this is because i dont understand what that means. blah blah parental trauma but i had some stunted emotional growth and so im not great at emotions. i would flip flop between am i aro or have i just not met anyone i like yet? because i do have high walls. i dont let people in easily.

but i would daydream about having a partner. but it was never really about me liking them i just wanted them to like ME. i want people to like me. bc it was never the same person, generally whoever showed me a little extra attention that week but then id easily forget them. and i never. really wanted to date them. bc honestly i only ever pictured love confessions, never what itd be like after.

i met my bf on hinge. i fuck around on dating apps mostly bc im bored and wanna bother people, i rarely meet up with them i just spout some new random facts and im intentionally being weird. so i swiped on him first bc he had some nonsense in his profile i wanted to debate about. he said hey we're kinda hitting it off do you wanna go on a date? i said sure lets go to the thrift shop bc i was looking for a gift for my friend when i went to visit her in europe in a few weeks lol. i was really just using him for a ride to the thrift shop bc i dont own a car.

my god we hit it off and i remember thinking "id love to be friends with him hes so cool and fun to be around". i think it had to be a dating app. i dont think id ever have gotten a partner otherwise, because you kinda go into dating apps with the intention to find romance (unless you're me). he knows this but i didnt actually start to like him romantically till AFTER we started dating. i had to think very hard about it, im not entirely sure if this is what romantic feelings are supposed to feel like - i have to assume they are.

but we're happy and i had to do a lot of thinking to determine if i love him but i can say now for sure i love him. but idk if i can call that timeline long enough to really say im demi-romantic? idk if theres a specific time limit, maybe i am. it definitely took hm since we first met uh two months before i really started to like him romantically which honestly sounds normal to me.

so yeah thats not quite resolved but i dont care to find anyone else. but then. then comes the asexuality part. i originally way back in hs was like yeah im ace. whilst debating my aro problems i kinda always figured once i liked someone id probably be sexually attracted to them too. i get horny, surely that means im not ace.

yeah. i learned thats not the case. since sexuality is about being sexually attracted to a person, you can get Horny but not be sexually attracted to anyone. i put so much research into asexuality. a lot. it caused me more stress than anything i think bc now i had to tell him. that was . very anxiety inducing bc the first time i tried to tell him i nearly got a panic attack. this is knowing he'd be totally fine with it too, that he'd be accepting.

im just. not that interested in sex. i get horny but i dont really do much about it. i read smut bc its fun and bc its easier to deal with angsty fics when theres smth to distract you lol. CANT HURT ME IF THERES DICK TO FOCUS ON!!

i wont rule out that i might be demisexual. i might change my mind, i might not. i know my bf accepts me either way. but yeah thats my queer journey. its mostly me thinking. because i dont really have any experience with anything, im not a social person lol. but i also dont understand emotions and feelings all too well, so thinking only really got me so far. i always learned better by doing.

if you made it this far, thank you for reading! im always open to making new friends so i think my dms are open or whatever it is, but yeah :3

[remebee]

oh boy oh yippie my existence is acknowledged. double spaced because it is more aesthetically pleasing to my dumb ass

Name? id rather not say but you can just call me rem

2. Pronouns and gender? she/her transfemme

3. Sexuality? bisexual and bi-myself

4. Country? Good ole US of A in a no bueno state

5. Top 5 fandoms? I dont engage with fandoms that much but probably League of Legends, Dungeons and Dragons, Final Fantasy XIV, Magic the Gathering, and VA-11 Hall-A

6. What is your most forbidden snack? ngl some dice look real fuckin tasty, especially some of the resin-cast dice

7. Would you pet a bug? I would pet the hell out of mantises and bees but nothing else

8. Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I am 92% sure that I am allergic to mint. Every time I have anything with mint in it I feel like my mouth is being torn apart at the molecular level. I put on some lip balm I didnt know had mint in it and started crying because it hurt so much, it felt like my lips were doused in napalm.

9. What does the colour blue taste like? ink from a gel pen

10. What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? the most beautiful thing I had ever seen was a coastline somewhere in Florida. I wanna say it was maybe Pensacola? The skies were clear and the moon was full. You could see a few stars in the sky and the beach was bathed in a silvery light. I had my headphones partly in listening to the album For Lovers by Lamp turned down low so I could also listen to waves coming in. The land breeze was strong that night but it was also pleasant. No one else was on the beach. It was just me and my thoughts. It was the first time I had ever really been allowed to just be by myself like this while on a family vacation. It gave me a taste of freedom and introspective. Part of what makes it so beautiful to me is this was the first moment that I had ever really considered myself and who I was, was I really happy with myself. I ended up accepting the fact that I was trans while I sat on the sand and just let myself be one with the beach. I entered the beach a boy, and left a woman.

11. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? probably the time my cousin and I thought it would be a good idea to put yuca flour into our coke-guaraná mixture because both tasted good on their own so surely they would taste good together right? Wrong. It was bad, very bad. I almost choked on it.

12. Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? I work a sales job and Ive had a customer get very upset with me because I told him he needed a male/male hdmi cable to hook his laptop into his tv for video. He was upset that it was male/male and not female/male because "we dont do things like that in this country". He ended up not buying the cable because of it.

13. Hyperfixation song? lately its been The Circle from the Guilty Gear Strive OST but its usually the album VA-11 Hall-A (Original Soundtrack: Second Round) by Garoad, I even own it on Vinyl :>

14. Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? pfp is a random pic I have on my computer. My username was originally just remedy but I decided to rebrand to involve bees cause they cute

15. Dream career as a child? astronaut

16. Dream career as an adult? uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk. Currently studying computer science so something related to that probably

17. Thoughts on cilantro? ive never knowingly tried cilantro but im pretty sure it tastes like soap since I had pho one time and Im pretty sure that place uses cilantro and it tasted like soap

18. Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? ive never been banned per se but me and my friends have been forced out of a mattress store cause they mimed gay sex on one of the display models

19. What is your cursed food combination? dipping the scooby doo gummies pictured below

into a perfect 50/50 ketchup-mashed potato concoction and let me tell you it will reveal the secrets of the universe to you.

Honorable mention of cutting a croissant in half and putting nothing but ketchup on it (this one made my friends oh so very very upset)

20. Trans rights? Yes please :3

The only person Ive interacted with on this site tagged me so ima tag the only other person I know, @pizzahutunofficial

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[materialwoman]

something about tammy that i’ve been thinking about ...   tammy is definitely not a fan of putting any labels on her sexuality.  quite honestly,  she doesn’t really know how to label it and doesn’t really care about it either.  she’s been in love with a man,  and she’s married him,  but every other relationship she’s been with has been with women and she considers all of those passions on their own and just... doesn’t think it’s important to find a word to call it.  up until the moment she met nick she had never really been with a guy and after she divorced him i simply decided she Does marry a woman (and i have so many iconic ships... she has so many beautifulwives with so many beautiful stories with her...) and that’s simply how it has to be. so yeah... been thinking about that...

[artificialqueens]

Me and You Together, 4/10 (Taywhora) - Ortega

fic summary: The cardinal rule of having flatmates is that you Do Not Catch Feelings For Your Flatmates, because everything inevitably goes to shit and gets made horrifically awkward. A’whora and Tayce both know this, but being in first year of uni and making good decisions have never really gone hand in hand.

a/n: fam this response is crazy it really is…thank u all so much for the love, kudos and comments, i’m so sorry if i’ve not managed to reply to urs yet but know that i’ve read them all and cherish every one and i will get round to replying and yelling some love and thanks at u soon!!! pls enjoy this chapter in which A'whora does not possess the flat’s shared brain cell at any point. that being said, i wish all the readers of this fic a very pleasant italicised ‘oh’ xo

last chapter: January-Tayce and A’whora still had unfinished business from a night out and a hungover morning in December.

this chapter: October- The gang make plans for their first year together, Tia gives everyone plans for the evening, and A'whora has a realisation that will change the dynamic of her friendship with Tayce forever.

***

“Bimini, what is it you’re actually doing?”

A’whora’s intrigued by the way her flatmate’s sitting on the sofa: legs crossed, notepad in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and looking deep in thought. They’ve not long since stretched over the smoke detector with a sock, having long since established nobody in the flat minds them smoking indoors as long as the windows are open. Lawrence is beside them on the other end of the sofa having been to all the lectures that’re required of her already today and has got a bright pink, blue and purple-flecked ball of yarn hanging from two knitting needles, with which she seems to be knitting some sort of cosy accessory. It’s a wholesome picture that’s playing out in front of A’whora, one that’s miles away from the raucous, drunk nights they’ve all shared in the first month of uni so far.

“Okay, here’s what it is,” Bimini starts, clicking their long nails together. “I am making us a freshers bucket list, and I want your input.”

“Ooh!” Lawrence perks up beside them, and A’whora, interest piqued, picks up the bowl of pasta, butter and cheese she’s spent all of five minutes making and crosses the room to sit beside her flatmates.

She knows it’s only been a month so far, but she really loves everyone she’s living with. For a start, there are four of them that take classes at the art college (the ‘art hoes’, as Tayce calls them), so they all get to walk to lectures together and hang about between classes and workshops with each other depending on how their days are going. Bimini is almost always in the flat, with not a lot of contact hours making up their journalism degree, so they’re a comforting presence for A’whora to come home to at whatever hour of the day, always asking how she is and always offering to make her coffee. Tia is sweet and funny (if ever-so-slightly grating to her at first) and they’ve bonded over being the only two flatmates seemingly able to keep the place clean and tidy. Lawrence is endearing and big-hearted, if A’whora spends half her life hoping that her next prank isn’t involving her in some way (Ellie is usually the butt of them). Ellie herself is one of A’whora’s closest flatmates; they’ll often stay up half the night finishing prototypes or assignments together, all while watching a film which they have spookily similar taste in- they’ve agreed on 101 and 102 Dalmatians, Hocus Pocus, and The Wizard of Oz so far.

And then there’s Tayce, who A’whora thinks is both the absolute carbon copy of herself and yet also so different, the yin to her yang. Tayce has been her closest friend in the flat since day one when she booted the door to her room down and dragged her out of her emotional stupor, and that’s really what’s set the tone for the rest of their friendship; Tayce, upbeat and motivating, constantly and infectiously helping A’whora feel the same way even when she doesn’t want to go out, or doesn’t feel like dragging herself out of her room for a chill flat night with the others, or even when she just feels like a heap of shit. She’s such a fun and positive person to be around, relentlessly optimistic and goofy, and she brings out that side of A’whora too. As opposed to during sixth form and high school, where she’d put up a front to make sure nobody fucked with her, A’whora finds that at uni she can be the person she truly is and let her guard down a little.

This includes being open about her sexuality for the first time ever. She’s out to her family (for the better or worse), but nobody else back home knows (not even her friends) and she wants to keep it that way for now. But at uni things are different- nobody knows her here, nobody has these preconceived ideas of who she is and who she has to be, so she’d taken the plunge and been open about everything. None of the others had cared of course, in fact they’d all been too excited about the fact there’s not a single straight person in their flat comprised of four lesbians (Tayce, Lawrence, Tia and A’whora), one bi (Ellie) and one pan (Bimini).

“What’ve you got so far?” A’whora asks Bimini, sitting down on the sofa opposite her two flatmates.

Bimini reads off their notepad. “Casino night, bottomless brunch…get the train down to Newcastle, have a big night out, stay out all night an’ get the first train home-”

“Christ, that’ll be a challenge for me, you know I get sleepy around midnight,” Lawrence chuckles.

Bimini shrugs. “We’ll just get you an IV drip of Ellie’s Monster, you’ll be alright.”

“What else’ve you got?”

“That’s it so far.”

A’whora spears a pasta spiral, tilts her head in thought as she eats it. “Get drunk in a lecture.”

“Aw, good one!” Lawrence cries enthusiastically. Bimini, for their part, frowns with disapproval.

“Wait, no! Not a good one. Not a good one at all. It’s alright for you art school bitches, you’ve got some lectures together and you can coordinate, where does that leave me n’ Tia?”

“I guess that leaves you…downing a bottle of five pound chardonnay on the back bench of a lecture hall like a tramp with a drinking problem,” Lawrence shrugs, A’whora yelping out a laugh as Bimini shoves Lawrence with their foot.

Just then, there’s movement in the hall and as A’whora turns around she’s greeted by the sight of a tired-looking Tayce and Ellie walking into the kitchen. They shrug off their coats and take off their shoes and dump their bags on the kitchen table with a huff before they walk over to the others. Tayce spreads herself out over the sofa that A’whora’s sitting on, thudding her feet onto her lap without asking permission, to which A’whora instantly pushes them off her and gets a glare and a smirk in return.

“Lawrie, are you knitting?” Ellie laughs, sitting on the arm of the sofa beside her.

“Yeah? And?”

Ellie snorts in amusement. “Just didn’t realise we were living with a wee granny.”

“Well actually, bawbag! I was in the middle of making you a scarf because I can’t stand to listen to you talking shite about how you’re cold every time we leave the flat, but I can leave it if you want,” Lawrence explains. A’whora thinks it’s funny how Ellie backtracks immediately; she can’t tell if she’s blushing or just out of breath from scaling their block’s stairs. Bimini gains control of the conversation, tilting their head in intrigue.

“How were your lectures, huns?”

“Shit, thanks for asking,” Tayce groans, thudding her head down dramatically against the sofa cushions. “I don’t know, I just can’t concentrate when I’m getting talked at for an hour at a time. I need to be doing stuff, you know?”

“Feel that,” Ellie joins in, deflated. A’whora can sympathise- she loves the practical elements of her course, but not so much the lectures. She’s glad she shares a lot of them with Ellie, and the two of them can dick about and text each other and doodle designs in their notebooks while keeping one ear on whoever’s speaking.

“Well if you want to be doing something, you can help us with this,” Bimini suggests, explaining the bucket list they’ve been making.

The girls get settled and the ideas start to flow, Lawrence putting her speakers on for background noise as they all come up with new and increasingly more chaotic exploits. Ellie suggests trying every cocktail in Levels which gets scribbled down into Bimini’s notepad, and Tayce suggests going to Levels sober, which doesn’t get afforded the same appreciation. A’whora comes up with crashing the catered halls for breakfast one day, which they all agree is a good idea but the chances of it actually happening are low considering the earliest riser in the flat is Tayce and even she doesn’t waken up til half nine on a weekend.

“What’re some clubs we’ve not been to yet?” Bimini asks, shrugging. “Could put those down, try an’ visit every one in the city?”

Lawrence snorts derisively. “You go to Underground if you want your phone stolen, Velvet if you want to be bullied by fifteen year olds in the toilets, and Crystal if you want to subject yourself to painful misogyny and probably some light sexual assault.”

“So none of those, then,” Bimini murmurs.

“Those are all really het as well, though,” Ellie wrinkles her nose up in distaste. Then her face lights up as she gets an idea. “Oh! Put down Pride in July.”

“Nice one,” Bimini nods as they scribble down Ellie’s suggestion, the others making little hums of approval.

The conversation goes on for quite some time. Halfway through it Tayce seems to decide she’s bored of lying down and instead moves to sit on the floor between A’whora’s legs, asking her to play with her hair. They’ll do this sometimes- it’s a routine they fall into, A’whora being able to style Tayce’s endlessly long, straight hair and Tayce finding the whole thing therapeutic. They have a lot of little routines like this: they’ll sit close together on the sofa during a flat movie night and take turns leaning on each others’ shoulders, spontaneously give each other hugs at random points throughout the day, trace patterns into each others’ palms when the other seems stressed.

It’s nice. A’whora’s never really had a friendship like this, soft and caring and kind. In school her group was the kind that made catty jokes about each other then buffered them with a “love you!” afterwards and took kissy-face group selfies only to bitch about each other on a private group chat mere hours later. If it was a wolfpack then it was rabid and cannibalistic, and it had seemed like a full-time job ensuring she was never the runt of it. What she’s got with all her flatmates now- especially Tayce- makes her feel like she can finally breathe.

“What about the Centurion Challenge?” Lawrence suggests with a small gasp, breaking A’whora’s reverie as she expertly twirls Tayce’s hair into a loose and chunky French plait.

“Jesus Christ, Lawrence,” Ellie mutters in amusement.

“What’s the Centurion Challenge?” Bimini asks, pulling a face.

Lawrence gives a blythe shrug as she elaborates. “A hundred shots in a hundred minutes.”

A’whora ruins Tayce’s braid in shock, her hair untwisting itself from the braid as if it’s outraged too. The cry she gives joins in harmony with that of Tayce’s and Bimini’s. “A hundred shots? You’d fucking die!”

“Not of vodka! Obviously not of vodka! I know we all have one communal brain cell between us but Christ, can one of yous not use it?!” Lawrence protests. “It’s a hundred shots of beer. Don’t shit yourselves.”

“Aw, well that’s alright then,” Bimini pipes up sarcastically. “What’s actually wrong with Scottish people? Is your breastmilk spiked with whiskey? What d’you get instead of Cow and Gate formula, just cocaine?"

“Actually, a hundred shots of beer sounds more doable to me,” Tayce shrugs, and A’whora can feel her relax against her lap.

“I’d need to change it, I can’t stand beer,” A’whora considers. Ellie cocks her head in consideration.

“Well what alcohol do you like?”

“Fucking none of it,” A’whora laughs. “Cocktails. Vodka cokes. Anything where there’s juice to cover it up.”

Tayce twists her head to look up at her, a little twinkle of mischief in her eye. “I think the challenge ceases to be a challenge when it’s reduced to one hundred watered down shots of Woo Woo, Rory.”

As the others blurt out a laugh A’whora glares down at Tayce, but she can’t help but break out into a giggle too when Tayce grabs her knee and gives it a playful wobble, letting her know she was only joking without even having to say a thing.

A’whora’s not sure what time it is when she hears the front door swing shut and Tia emerges from the hallway, her long hair all messed up from the seemingly ever-present wind outside and almost obscuring the bright smile plastered on her face. “Hey, huns!”

“Oi oi,” Tayce greets her from her position on the floor. “What’s got you so smiley?”

“Nooothing,” Tia smirks, dragging the word out playfully. “Just got an invite to the night out of a very cute girl in my MT society…and she said you guys can all come too. Pres at her flat and then out to The Avenue. Evening plans sorted?”

“Oh, love that!” Bimini gives an enthusiastic clap. “Go on then, who’s the girl? Whose night are we crashing?”

“Her name’s Veronica,” Tia smiles bashfully. “She’s so lovely. Honestly, she wouldn’t mind you coming! She’s got one of the big flats over at Gourock Court so it’s not like it’ll be packed.”

“You don’t exactly want to go to a party that’s not going to be packed,” Ellie screws up her nose. She looks unimpressed and her tone is flat. “And even if it is, I don’t know if I’m in the mood for a flat party with a ton of new people, Tia.”

A’whora’s face drops and she locks eyes with Lawrence simultaneously, who’s got an equally incredulous look on her face. “Els, are you unwell? You never turn down a night out.”

Ellie shrugs quietly, not giving much away on her face. Tia, obviously keen to move to the girl she’s crushing on, carries on persuading her. “C’mon, Eleanor, don’t be such a fucking…square! It’s the musical theatre society, we’re just a walking Pride festival who all happen to be able to hold a tune. There’s loads of fit lesbians?”

“Well if I wasn’t convinced before, I sure am now,” Tayce purrs, a little smile appearing on her lips and a cheeky twinkle in her eyes. A’whora feels her laugh come out weakly. She doesn’t know why, but an odd, uncomfortable feeling lodges itself in her gut. She can’t quite put her finger on what exactly it is or why it’s put itself there.

“And there’s gonna be so many musicals on the playlist!” Tia continues to insist, despite being met with Ellie’s sour face. “I know you’ll love it! They’d probably even play stuff from Shrek if you got them drunk enough.”

A’whora can’t help but scrunch up her nose in distaste. “Hey, I’m only coming if they play fucking…normal people music as well. I’m not gonna be sat in a room with twenty white kids trying to rap to Hamilton or whatever the fuck it is.”

Tia rolls her eyes, plants her hands on her hips in exasperation. “Calm down, A’whora, you’ll still get all the top 40 dance-pop shit you love so much.”

“To be honest, it sounds class. And The Avenue’s always good,” Bimini cuts in calmly. A’whora does have to agree with that. They’ve not been there in a while- the bar across the road from the city’s most popular LGBT club- and its selection of early 00s pop princess tracks combined with its deal of two vodka mixers and a shot for a fiver makes it a guaranteed good night out.

“Well it seems like we’re all down, even if this stroppy cow isn’t,” Tia smiles happily, sticking her tongue out at Ellie for good measure. Ellie finally heaves a world-weary sigh, rolling her eyes dramatically as she relents.

“Ugh, fine! Fine, but this Verruca or whatever the hell she’s called better be the hottest bitch on the planet for you to drag us all out with your MT weirdos, Tia Maria,” she grumps. Tia ignores her bad mood and lets out a cheer which the others join in with, and A’whora resolves to interrogate Ellie about her Bitter Betty attitude later on. Preferably when they’re both drunk. That always makes things easier.

In the melee of excitement, Tayce twists round from her position on the carpet, folds her arms and rests them on top of A’whora’s thighs. “Right. You need to come help me choose an outfit if we’re going out. I need to look fit.”

A’whora smiles with pride. “Ooh, personal stylist duties? I’m honoured.”

“Well I’m hardly gonna ask Tia, am I?” Tayce giggles quietly, and A’whora joins in like it’s a little secret they’re sharing. “Or Ellie. She’d just send me out in one of her bodysuit/skirt combos. I swear to God that girl is like Marge bloody Simpson. Open up her wardrobe and she’ll have twenty sets of the same outfit. Serial killer behaviour, that.”

At this point A’whora is laughing so much that it draws the attention of the others, who eye them with suspicious stares. “What the hell’s so funny?”

A’whora gives Tayce a mischievous look. “Tayce just called Ellie a serial killer.”

Tayce yelps in outrage at having been called out, and as Ellie narrows her eyes Tayce leaps up from the floor and tugs A’whora off of the sofa with her. “That’s taking it out of context, you absolute hound! Come on, help me pick something.”

Tayce’s fingers stay curled around A’whora’s hand all the way down the corridor and into her bedroom. It’s a feeling that A’whora likes because it makes her feel close to her friend, and Tayce taking her hand is like an affirmation and a reassurance all in one; that she likes her, that their friendship has reached the level where hand-holding has become acceptable, that A’whora is worthy of being liked, of being someone’s friend- their real, proper friend. The validation sets her heart off like a flare. It’s nice to feel wanted.

A’whora perches on the edge of Tayce’s bed as she scrapes the coat hangers in her wardrobe and throws outfits onto the bed like a tornado, each more gorgeous than the last and all ones Tayce would look stunning in. That’s something that always strikes A’whora about Tayce; just how beautiful she is, how absolutely blessed with the God-given good genes. The way she looks serene and ethereal without makeup, walking to lectures in the morning with the sun hitting her face and giving her skin a glow. The way she paints for a night out and knows how to accentuate everything about her face that’s already perfect, a feat that would seem like an exaggeration if A’whora hadn’t seen it for herself to confirm it’s true. She frequently finds herself having to hold back from giving compliments to Tayce because if she started she’d never stop.

“Okay, first thoughts are…” Tayce announces unnecessarily loudly, and A’whora laughs at the way she’s talking as if she’s a stylist on a morning TV show. “…I’m thinking something black.”

“Of course you are,” A’whora interrupts with a laugh. “Tayce wearing black. How predictable.”

Tayce gives her a shove on the shoulder that’s too hard and makes her fall back against the mattress. “Shut up! I’ll wear something other than black when Lawrence wears something other than purple, how’s about that?”

The pair of them giggle at the joke as Tayce rifles through the clothes she’s shortlisted, holding up a black leather jacket and a black bralet with an intricate lace hem. The combination makes A’whora’s eyes fly wide open in appreciation.

“This?” Tayce raises an eyebrow at her inquisitively. The fact she’s obviously seen her reaction makes A’whora feel a little self-conscious and she doesn’t particularly know why. “Because I’m wanting to wear either my wet-look leggings or my black vinyl skirt with the zip up the front, and I don’t know if that’s too much leather effect stuff?”

“It’s too much,” A’whora nods, physically unable to help her honesty. “Also I think you should wear the skirt because you’ve got good legs and you should get them out any chance you get. But also the bralet won’t go with it because it’ll make your proportions all wrong.”

Tayce smiles appreciatively as she throws the bralet back into her wardrobe as if A’whora’s given her a command and not a suggestion. “See, this is another reason why you’re the queen of outfit advice. Bimini wouldn’t give me this level of honesty, they’re too nice.”

A’whora feels a warmth spread in her chest at the compliment, but she doesn’t show it. Instead she snorts, nods in agreement. “Yeah, because you could come out dressed in a pair of child’s pyjamas and they’d still say they love it. They’d say it’s very Y2K or something.”

Tayce lets out a cackle before holding up the skirt and leather jacket, humming in thought. “Okay, so you’re saying ditch the jacket but keep the skirt.”

“Yes.”

“And ditch the bralet.”

“Yes.”

“So you want me to go out in a skirt and a pair of heels and nothing else,” Tayce raises an eyebrow at her, and as A’whora bursts out laughing and protests she has to fight off a blush at the thought of her best friend topless in heels. Topless in heels and a vinyl skirt. Topless in heels and a vinyl skirt with a zip that could just be pulled down to leave her in-

The heat floods A’whora’s face like she’s been smacked and she shifts on the bed in an attempt at dissipating the feelings that’ve hit her like a tsunami. Inappropriate. Weird. Way too weird. Don’t do that again.

“What about the bright blue fur coat you’ve got? Because you could have an all black outfit with that as a bit of colour,” she suggests, shrugging lightly in an attempt to pretend that she hadn’t just been thinking about Tayce in the way she had.

Tayce’s face lights up and she points at A’whora with one hand and reaches into her wardrobe with the other. “Love that. Okay, top?”

“Are you addressing me? I’ve never topped for anyone,” A’whora attempts a joke. If Tayce can make jokes like that to her then she can do it right back.  

“That’s very clear, baby,” Tayce shoots in response without missing a beat. Before A’whora realises it, she’s flexing her toes. What the fuck is happening to her? She needs to steer this conversation back on track.

She thinks for a second. “You’re a size eight, right?”

“In theory. The amount of pot noodles I’ve been chucking down my neck since I moved in is very quickly rendering that a distant memory, I’ll tell ya,” Tayce says, as she leans against the door of her wardrobe and folds her arms.

“I’ve got a black lace bodysuit that would go with that. It’s a ten so it’ll fit. D’you want to try it?”

“Well despite the fact a skirt and a bodysuit was the very thing I just roasted Ellie for always wearing…that sounds lush. Thanks, Rory Roo,” Tayce agrees, the nickname-of-a-nickname setting off the click of a small pilot light in A’whora’s heart. She’s about to ask if she wants to come try it on just now when she hears both their names being yelled from the kitchen.

The pair of them head back through to find that Tia has changed the playlist on the speakers from the chilled-out, calm acoustic one that had been playing to her early 00’s tunes. Combined with Bimini half-singing, half-yelling along to Murder on the Dancefloor and the blast of the extractor fan as Ellie stirs something in a big metal pot at the hob, it’s a far cry from the calm, cosy scene that A’whora had witnessed in the kitchen some hours prior.

Ellie had been the one who had shouted on them, and she whips around from the cooker when she realises that Tayce and A’whora have come through. “I’m making dinner for me, Bims and Tia, you wanting some?”

“Depends what it is. Come on, talk it up, Ellie. Give us some options,” Tayce shrugs with feigned disinterest, and A’whora can’t help the bubble of laughter that bursts from her mouth as Ellie narrows her eyes at her.

“It’s spaghetti and meatballs, and your alternatives are fuck off or die,” she shoots back savagely, and the whoop of shock and laughter that goes up from the others soars above the music and the fan. Tayce laughs good-naturedly in spite of the barb.

“I’m joking, ‘course I’ll take some.”

A’whora wrinkles her nose. “You’re making meatballs for a meal that Bimini is gonna eat?”

“They’re not real ones, dipshit,” Bimini pipes up from over on the sofa. “It’s that Birdseye Green Cuisine shit, innit.”

“Birdseye Green Cuisine shit,” A’whora repeats disdainfully. “If you ever go on The Apprentice, Bim, Alan Sugar’s gonna shit himself at your selling abilities.”

Tayce snorts, tries and fails to cover it up. When her eyes rest on A’whora they share a little smile, and A’whora’s grows bigger when she thinks about the way they’re both so in sync all the time.

“They’re nice, I promise! Veronica’s talked them up loads, she told me she’s been trying to eat more veggie things,” Tia insists, with an entirely unnecessary namedrop of her crush. A’whora relents and says she’ll have a small bowl before jumping out of her skin as Ellie bangs the spoon against the pot somewhat aggressively with a face like thunder.

Before A’whora can ask Ellie about her bad mood, Tia speaks again as she scrolls her phone to change the song. “Honestly, Ellie, you’re a star for doing dinner. Thanks so much.”

“Aw, don’t be silly, doll! It’s nothing!” Ellie turns around from the hob and bats the compliment away, shooting Tia a dazzling smile in return. It’s funny the way her demeanour seems to instantly do a complete 180 at the praise, and it makes A’whora wonder what’s changed.

She’s distracted, though, by the way Lawrence enters in her dressing gown with her hair up in a towel, obviously having come straight from the shower. She pouts and whines in a very un-Lawrence way as she lingers at the doorframe between the hall and the kitchen.

“Guysss, does anyone have an ID they can give me for tonight?”

“What about your friend? Who was it…Rosé?” A’whora shrugs, and Lawrence fixes her with a wide-eyed stare of incredulity.

“Oh my God, A’whora! I never thought about asking the girl I’ve been borrowing ID from since the start of uni! Thanks for that!” she says sarcastically, Bimini giving a yelp of laughter and A’whora leaning off the countertops and swiping at Lawrence in retort. “She’s using it. She asked her girlfriend and her flatmates for me but they’ve all got plans. I felt like a fuckin’ daytime TV charity advert.”

“For just one pound a week, you could help an underaged child get blackout drunk on triple trebles,” A’whora puts on a dramatic, concerned voice, proud of the way it makes Tayce blurt out a laugh.

“It’s such fucking bullshit,” Lawrence huffs, leaning against the fridge and folding her arms. “I mean my eighteenth’s in five days and I’ve been drinking in parks since I was fourteen, how can I not just be let into a fuckin’ bar?”

“Grow up and order a fake one,” Ellie shakes her head with incredulity, smashing the wooden spoon against the pot again with a bang-bang-bang to get the excess pasta sauce off.

“Just you pipe down, hen, you shouldn’t even be at uni. In fact, have you even completed primary yet?”

The two girls stick their tongues out at each other, a mirror-image of petty bickering that makes A’whora laugh. Luckily Bimini steps in, shrugging as they open their purse.

“Here, babe. I’ve still got my course friend’s provisional from when she dropped it on Gordon Street when she was off her face. I ain’t given her it back yet an’ I’m sure she wouldn’t care if you borrowed it. She’s chill.”

Lawrence accepts enthusiastically, bouncing over to Bimini and thanking them gratefully. A’whora watches her face drop, though, when she takes a look at the photo.

“There’s no way this’ll work.”

Bimini tuts and shakes their head, the picture of casual composure. “It’s fine, babes, they never look properly anyway.”

Lawrence drops the hand that’s holding the license to her side and fixes her friend with an astounded glare. “Bimini. This girl is black.”

As the others screech with outrage and mirth, Bimini waves Lawrence’s concerns away blithely. “It’ll be dark! It’s fine! Asttina an’ you have both got similar…well…you’re both girls, an’ you’re about the same height. Give or take a few inches.”    

“Christ. I’m going to have to just forward roll past the bouncers, aren’t I? Then draw a fuckin’ club stamp on my arm in Sharpie.”

“Oh my God, stop moaning!” Ellie sighs from her position at the hob, bangs the spoon again for emphasis. “Look, I’ll ask Pippa from flat 2, alright? You both have brown hair, so…that’ll probably be enough.”

A’whora thinks it’s interesting the way Lawrence doesn’t shoot something back in her foghorn of a voice like she normally does. Instead she smiles warmly, dashes over to the kitchen where she hugs Ellie from behind, squeezing her tightly at the stomach and making her flinch in surprise.

“Thanks, Ellie-Bellie,” she sing-songs, swaying her aggressively from side to side until Ellie bats her away, flicking the spoon in a way that threatens to shower them both in marinara sauce.

“Right, that’s plenty. Don’t even do things I enjoy for that long.”

“When’s this gonna be ready, Els?” Bimini shouts through as Lawrence lets go. “ ‘Ave I got time to do my makeup before it?”

Ellie shrugs. “If you can do your makeup in ten minutes.”

A’whora kicks her leg out in Tayce’s direction and jerks her head towards the hall. “Do you want to try on that bodysuit before tea?”

Tayce nods enthusiastically in agreement, so they go back along the corridor with a shout to the others telling them they won’t be long. A’whora holds the door of her room open for Tayce and her heart sinks in embarrassment when she realises she forgot to make her bed this morning.

“Sorry about the mess,” she apologies, to which Tayce gives a cry of a laugh in response.

“A’whora, have you seen my room? You’re fine, kid, don’t worry.”

A’whora thinks that’s true- Tayce’s room is a state, but somehow it seems to suit her. Tayce’s room with the crowded bulletin board, desk covered in sweet wrappers and sketches, floor carpeted with clothes that need washed and outfits that didn’t make the cut. The cracked picture frame on her window-sill of the first selfie the six of them all got together on the first night of freshers and the huge cheese plant that sits next to her bedside table, Tayce’s pride and joy. They’re all little intricate shards that join up to form a perfect picture of her personality, and A’whora thinks it’s sort of perfect.

She looks out the bodysuit from its neatly Marie Kondo-d place in her wardrobe and hands it gently to Tayce. “Try it and see. It’s a small 10 anyway so it’ll probably be fine for you.”

Tayce accepts it gratefully and hooks a finger around both of the straps, letting the rest of the material fall out of its perfectly folded little parcel. She gives a little gasp of appreciation as she looks at it. “Oh yes, baby. I think this’ll do just fine.”

A’whora feels good- proud that she’s managed to find the perfect piece for Tayce’s outfit, to help her look as inevitably gorgeous as she knows she will. The smile on her face falters, though, when Tayce shoots her a wink and leans against the wall with her shoulder. “This is gonna get me someone I can pop off my acrylics for, I can tell. You’ve got the best taste, girl.”

“Are you actually going to try and get with someone tonight?” A’whora injects a laugh into her question that she’s banking on sounding genuine, otherwise it comes across as accusatory and that’s not what she means it to be. Or is it? She doesn’t know. “You know how messy nights at The Avenue always get. Last time we were there Lawrence got so drunk she told us she couldn’t see, remember?”

Tayce laughs her off with a shrug. “Well then I’ll just have to be careful with my drinks, won’t I?”

A’whora gives a false laugh, tries so hard to get it to meet her eyes. Why is she so pressed about this? She gets with girls on nights out too, she’s brought the occasional one night stand to the flat. Tayce is allowed to do the same.

So why does she feel ever so slightly gutted?

If her smile looks fake (which it is) then Tayce doesn’t notice, and she only shoots her a smile as she opens the bedroom door. “You’re an angel. I’ll pop this on then be back in five.”

A’whora takes the opportunity of Tayce having left to make her bed, and as she does so she feels lots of little thoughts dart around her mind like minnows, none of them staying in the same place for long enough to be able to be deciphered. She manages to catch a few before they flee away and she clings to them, turning them over in her head: why does she feel so bothered about the prospect of Tayce finding a girl at the party, talking to her and making a connection and laughing at her jokes? Why had it felt like a punch to the gut when Tayce was joking about doing so? Why does she have this part of her that feels like an idiot for setting Tayce up to look her best and knowing that it’s for the benefit of somebody else, somebody that doesn’t know her like she does?

And then her bedroom door opens and A’whora turns around and lays eyes on her best friend. Tayce in her high heels and bare legs and the skirt with the zip. Tayce with her baby blue fake fur coat and her straight, dark hair tumbling over its shoulders. Tayce in the bodysuit- A’whora’s bodysuit- with the lace and the mesh that clings to her chest like it was designed just for her. There’s something about the fact that she’s wearing something that belongs to A’whora that makes something inside her chest tingle, the fact it’s a little piece of her in Tayce’s jigsaw puzzle that seems to fit regardless of the difference.

“What d’you think?” Tayce smiles, all too aware of how drop-dead stunning she looks.

And then the realisation hits A’whora like a train.

Oh.

Fuck.

She’s screwed.

[eulaties]

FRUITS BASKET FIC RECS ★ YUKERU ★ #14

fics that have an asterisk (*) in front of them are my personal favorites! also, all of the fics listed are completed unless otherwise stated.

NOTE: these are fic recs for the ship yuki sohma/kakeru manabe.

this list was last updated on 11/14/21.

if you want yuchi fic recs click here

if you want general fruits basket fic recs click here 

***the other side of paradise • one-shot

SUMMARY: “why are you all looking at me like that?” 

“because you two are, like, all over each other,” uotani says, incredulous.

“more like he’s all over me.”

TAGS: kakeru obviously pining, yuki not realizing he’s pining until the end, repressed yuki, panicked gay yuki v confident bi kakeru, light angst, coming out, slow burn, friends to lovers, confessions, getting together, touch starved yuki feat. touchy kakeru, so much sexual tension,,,,

NOTES: ahh another one of my all-time favorite fruits basket fics! ive reread this one so much ^^ this author has a really compelling way of writing that makes you feel exactly what the characters are feeling & the slow burn is also so satisfying!!

***set it free • multi-chapter (10/10)

TAGS: fake dating au, kakeru obviously pining, yuki not realizing he’s pining until the end, fluff, light angst, first kiss, touch starved yuki, background kyoru, confessions, getting together, kakeru finding out about the curse

NOTES: another one of my favorite yukeru fics that i’ve reread a lot! ^^ this one has more fluff and it’s so cute sjhjkfhj,,,normally i don’t like fake dating fics but this one is actually really good :) and the ending is so wholesome <3

*student council naptime blues • one-shot

SUMMARY: “kakeru, for once, isn't very tired. yuki is strangely exhausted. kakeru tries to help, and is faced with some wayward feelings.”

TAGS: kakeru realizing he has a crush on yuki, yuki just napping during student council, unrequited pining, light angst, fluff, bittersweet ending

*favorite • one-shot

SUMMARY: "no, yuki had never been anyone’s favorite before. which was why, when kakeru said it to him so casually that one evening after yuki begrudgingly offered to do his share of the paperwork so kakeru could leave student council early for a date, it stuck."

TAGS: angst, one-sided pining, sad rat boy

and oh my love remind me (what was it that i said?) • one-shot

SUMMARY: “he didn't love her like he thought he was supposed to, but he did feel that way about someone else.”

TAGS: mutual pining, bisexual kakeru, gay yuki, fluff, confessions, kisses, soft fic!!

*if truth is north then i am true south • multi-chapter (1/?)

SUMMARY: “kakeru wakes up in a strange bed and, no, he hasn't been kidnapped. probably. but why is honda calling him yuki?”

TAGS: yukeru body swap au, humor, kakeru being confused as hell

NOTES: unfortunately, this is an unfinished fic, but i still really love the premise (as well as the first chapter)!

you and i will walk together again • one-shot

SUMMARY: “yuki doesn't know what to make of kakeru. but maybe, just maybe, he's the kind of guy he wants to be friends with.”

NOTES: friendship, fluff, pining

confession • one-shot

TAGS: messy confessions, angst, immediate regret, lowkey kakeru runs away before yuki even responds, kakeru is absolutely whipped

rats don’t dance • one-shot

TAGS: yuki can’t dance, fluff, humor, open-ended ending

two skeletons • one-shot

TAGS: timeskip, yukeru trapped in a closet, friends to lovers, confessions, mutual pining, both of them think their love is unrequited lmao

built like cities • one-shot

SUMMARY: “yuki fixates on kakeru's chipped nail polish at some unholy hour of the night.”

TAGS: late night conversations, bisexual kakeru, gay yuki, mutual pining, confessions, first kiss, getting together

CW: underage smoking

*caffeine and copperplate • multi-chapter (2/8)

TAGS: coffee shop/college au, libraries, slow burn, barista!yuki, fluff, humor

NOTES: this fic is unfinished but still really good! :)

easy • one-shot

SUMMARY: “nothing else matters in that moment. it's just yuki and kakeru and the easiness of being in each other's company.”

TAGS: fluff, friendship, first kiss

let’s throw our bones away • one-shot

TAGS: friendship, yuki tells kakeru about the curse, angst, can be interpreted as platonic or romantic yukeru

*portraiture • one-shot

SUMMARY: “kakeru comes over to study. yuki studies him in turn.”

TAGS: college au, yuki yearning for kakeru, angst, open-ended ending

i wanna ruin our friendship (we should be lovers instead) • one-shot

SUMMARY: “kakeru isn’t an idiot. sure, he’s awful at some things and is occasionally a bit slow on the uptake, but he isn’t an idiot; he knows what touch starved looks like, and yuki is the fucking blueprint. so he sets out to fix it.”

TAGS: touch-starved yuki, kakeru knows what he’s doing lol, confessions, kisses, kyo and tohru are protective of yuki!!

*curled and closing • one-shot

SUMMARY: “soft laughter floating down the hall stops kyo’s hurried shuffle. it’s late, but not that late—lots of clubs are still in session, so the voice itself isn’t what stops kyo. what stops him is that it’s coming out of the student council room. and that the laughter sounds like it belongs to yuki.”

TAGS: background yukeru, heavy angst, hurt no comfort, unresolved tension between yuki and kyo, arguments, open-ended ending

sugar be sweet • multi-chapter (3/6)

SUMMARY: “five times kakeru gives yuki a kiss (+ one time he doesn't).”

an infinite deal of something • multi-chapter (1/?)

SUMMARY: “kakeru wakes up in yuki's body. yuki wakes up in kakeru's. kyo is also there.”

TAGS: bodyswap au, humor 

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

[bisluthq]

this is like really random but i have to vent. so basically i’m 20 years old and in my second-year at a uk university. and like i had the worst first-year of my life, made no friends, and got long covid plus really bad depression so yeah it wasn’t great. and now im back at uni i just am really feeling my lack of experience. iv never even properly kissed anyone let alone had sex and all the drinking games etc revolve around sex. i’m pretty sure i’m bi just like based on what i masturbate to but i’v only ever looked at guys as potential relationships. i just like don’t know how to navigate the social world with no friends and no sexual experience, it just feels impossible. and all my friends from home (1 of which is at uni with me) have boyfriends or at least have had sex. and also clubbing feels totally revolved around sex and kissing. it’s really hard to admit to people that i’m a virgin because people assume i’m a prude or a weirdo when i’m not i just haven’t really had the opportunity. i’m just feeling like such a loser atm. oh aaaand i actually really want a boyfriend rn.

Firstly, this is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no timeline for these things.

Secondly, so this is going to be a long winded Agony AuNat but sometimes I think my best ones are. In a way, this reminds me of a friend I had like 20-21 at uni. Basically we became friends because I caught her forum role playing and I was like “lmaoooo I used to do that too!” and we like bonded over it and like very quickly I began realizing that she did it on the kinds of sites me and my online friends laughed at because they weren’t ⚡️aesthetic⚡️ or sexy. Like this was some high fantasy bullshit lol - no offense also cool - on like ProBoards when we were already in the Jcink era. Anyway no biggie. This girl - a horse girl at 20 still and not in the rich bitch way - proceeded to like… idolize me and obvi y’all know how much I like attention so I loved it. And one night she asked me for advice on how to get kissed because she had been like… really wanting to lose her virginity but things just weren’t happening. I proceeded to give the worst advice ever because I too was just a young un. I said “don’t worry it’s gonna happen for you!!! Like I’m sure your crush likes you!! Don’t stress you’re so pretty and sweet!” And I believed I was saying the right stuff and it comforted her ngl so I was like 👏🏻👏🏻 go Nat you’re the best at giving advice.

Except here’s the problem - it still wasn’t happening. She was going to parties with me and I was like dressing her sluttier like some weird teen romcom movie where I was giving her a makeover and like… no one was biting.

And then - for those who remember the Nat Cinematic Universe - it turned out that rando from my 21st who I randomly fucked? Ya dudes that was her crush lol and she hadn’t told me because she thought I’d figure it out lol and she was mad at me and we sorta stayed friends until I fucked that guy’s friend which was nbd to anyone involved because my bestie fucked him and tbh I fancied the friend because he was this average sized weedy dark haired boy who was very weird looking and she exploded at me and called me a slut and shit and that was that, friendship over.

Unsure what happened next, but the reason I’ve given you this backstory is from my current POV I gave extremely bad advice so I’m gonna try correct with you tonight.

Unless you’re in high school when friends of friends can go between people and say you have a crush, and then you text them and like bam you’re exclusive, you have to work to get ass or make friends. Okay the other exception is if you’re like SUPER hot idk about that life, but tbh probs even then. Life isn’t a teen movie, and you’re not gonna just catch someone’s eye and that’ll be that. Dressing nicely might be part of it, doing your hair and makeup in whatever style you want, and making it clear up front - especially at uni when imo branding™️ matters a lot - what your interests are and such shit all factor in. I’m not saying change who you are because again that’s supremely bad advice: figure out who you are. Figure out what you want to wear (experiment!), who you want to talk to (strike up convos on campus!), what you like doing (try things out!) and - most importantly - what you’re comfortable with. Try drinking - and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Try flirting - and if you don’t like it, know that you can go from friends to this and not everyone enjoys that. Try clubbing - and if you don’t like it, know that there are a ton of societies you can join on campus and campus events you can go to that don’t revolve around that, so seek those out and find your tribe.

Fundamentally, college is what you make of it.

Which means that like unfortunately my dude, you’ll make a fool of yourself. Probably more than once.

But know that friends won’t manifest and boys won’t manifest unless you make an effort and put yourself out there. Ask people to coffee. Ask people to the pub. Girls, boys, enbies, whoever.

Re the anxiety about “never having done this before” - I think that’s totally normal. But also like lots of other people haven’t and everyone has had a first time. In drinking games you can lie lol. You don’t need to advertise it’s your first time for anything if you’re uncomfortable with it. I didn’t tell my first kiss he was my first kiss lol because it was unnecessary info for him tbh (it wasn’t hs boyfriend even tho I’m pretty sure I was his lol but he was my third 😌).

But you also don’t need to be shy about it because honestly 2nd year uni is so fucking young. It’s not like you’re coming to me as a 40 year old virgin and asking for advice (again no timeline but I’m not there yet so maybe not the right person to give it). Most of the people you’re hanging out with haven’t had a ton of sexual experience either lmao. On my 20th birthday I had been with exactly two people, my Angel boyfriend (in hindsight) hs ex and the Rabbi’s son (literally no one’s Angel boyfriend but hopefully he and his tiny dick are married now and Mazels if so) who I fucked a few days after we broke up to prove a point. I was a bad lay (and remain so with guys unless they’re into The Hiddles Experience, not for lack of opportunities, but because we don’t have to master all things). I also - unlike you - had never masturbated. I’d never had an orgasm. I liked sex with hs ex but couldn’t explain what I liked or why, it was just fun sometimes and other times it wasn’t. (In hindsight with clit action it was fun and with pure thrusting it wasn’t). So the fact that you have wanked already gives you a head start over many of the girls guys will be meeting.

So like… figure out what’s comfortable for you. Try different things out. Walk away when you don’t like it. Never do stuff that goes against your values. Don’t be overly shy in ways that wind up making you uncomfortable, like with the story that started this, and don’t expect these things to happen if you make no effort. That applies to friendships and ass alike. And sometimes what you think will be ass will turn into friendships and sometimes what you think will be friendship will turn into more. Let it. That’s what uni’s for.

Final point: try reduce the pressure of having a boyfriend. It’s fine if it happens, but since as you say you’re not a prude, it’s fine if it doesn’t. It will eventually. Try go into encounters with the open mindedness of “this could be ass, this could be friendship, this could be more” and like clear eyes full hearts can’t lose tbh.

Final final point: join societies. Join all the societies. The best way to both get ass and make friends and make friends discussing the ass you’re getting is by joining societies.

Good luck, hope this helped, love you lots and enjoy this year and the next (and beyond if you choose Honours or postgrad).

[myukulelegentlyweeps]

Nowhere Man : Part V

Pairing : George Harrison x F!reader

Summary : George was sick of the Let It Be sessions, took the day off and met (Y/n), waitress and amateur musician, who happened to be performing the song Nowhere Man at the exact time when he felt like one.

Previous chapters : Part I, Part I bis, Part II, Part III, Part IV

In this chapter : George brings you to a party to introduce you to the rest of the Beatles

Tag list : @givemequeen

Word count : 1.3k

A/n : Forgive me for the absolute crap speed of my updates, I actually get these written pretty fast but inevitably spend a week overthinking whether they’re good enough to publish, so yeah :))

BIG THANK YOU TO @chloe-on-cloud9 for beta reading!

Warnings : None

“Green one. End of discussion.”, Mary sentenced, making you scoff. She could become fairly bossy when it came to your fashion choices - you did not really mind, she knew best after all.

You were sat in the living room, looking at the near entirety of your wardrobe carefully displayed on the couch by your overly enthusiastic roommate. She had become very invested in your love life as of late, you could easily guess why ; so of course when she had learned you would be meeting all three of the remaining Beatles at Ringo’s house party that day, she had made it her mission to doll you up for the occasion.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come? You’re more excited than I am, and George said it was okay,” you asked for the hundredth time. Mary shook her head in response as she rose to bring you the green swing dress she had chosen : “I’ve already told you. This is your formal introduction as George’s girlfriend. I am honoured that you deem me worthy of being your escort-” “This isn’t a Jane Austen novel”, you interrupted, but she continued unfazed : “- but I can’t be third-wheeling. This is your time to shine! Now put this on.”

You rolled your eyes at the cheesy remark. She had some kind of Hollywood movie scene planned out in her mind, a grand entrance in slow motion, but you knew yourself : there would be no shining on your part, only a lot of stuttering and staring intently at the floor. “I just don’t want to embarrass myself on my own.”, you tried to speak while you pulled the dress on over your head. “What if I go all fan-like and-”

“(Y/n). You are beautiful, intelligent, witty, talented and overall amazing. The only thing they’ve got that you don’t is loads of money and, like they said themselves, money can’t buy me love…,” she hummed along to the well known tune. “Even if you do experience momentary stupidity syndrome upon the sight of the great John Lennon, embarrassing yourself is fun! You’ll laugh about it in hindsight. Picture it: you in ten years, telling your kids about the time you met their uncles and tripped over your own feet!” You raised an unimpressed eyebrow in response, but she had already gone off to her bedroom to find God knew what.

She came running back two minutes later, dangling two small glimmering objects in front of your eyes. You soon recognised them as her beetle-shaped earrings. “No.” “Yes”, she beamed. “No! Absolutely not!”, you repeated, trying your best to sound firm, but the smile plastered on her face was not vanishing, and it was taking everything in you to contain your laughter. She was out of her mind.

“You’re smiling! I see you!”, she practically cried out, making them dance in the air. “You’re smiling and you’re going to wear them. You know you want to.” You hated to admit it, but she was right. Somehow a part of you was begging you to put them on and be “that” person - you could never pass up the opportunity to throw some irony into a situation. With a defeated sigh, you took the earrings and threaded them on. “There. Happy?” “They match your outfit.”, she nodded enthusiastically. “Yes they do.” “Are you angry?” “Only a little bit.”

“I’m not going to have his children, you know.”

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that.”

***

“You alright, darlin’? Yer awfully quiet today”, George’s voice startled you out of your daydream. You didn’t know for how long you had been staring out of the car window, counting the trees on the roadside, but it must have been a while for him to be asking. You looked over to him, smiling out of the corner of your mouth : “I’m fine. Trying to prepare psychologically.”

“What for? Ye weren’t nervous when you first met me,” he chimed merrily, his hands steady on the steering wheel.

“Meeting you was different.”

“How so?”

“Well for starters, you told me your name was Arthur!”, you waved your index finger at him accusatively, causing the both of you to chuckle at the memory.

“If it helps, you could think of the lads as Eric, Fred and Michael today.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“How am I an idiot?”, he asked in a falsely offended tone.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised swiftly, lowering your eyes and furrowing your brows. “I call people idiots when I’m nervous.”

“John’ll love you.”, he laughed. “They’re all going to love you, I don’t know what you’re so worried about.”

“It’s not only about them!”, you blurted out, more intense than you had originally intended. Maybe you should have stopped talking, but you saw George’s puzzled expression and thought you owed him some honesty. “It’s everyone. I haven’t even told my sister we’re together, because it feels like the second people know, I will have to prove myself as someone ‘worthy’ of you. How do I do that? How do I prove I’m not just some bird you picked up off the streets for a shag?”

There was a long silence. He was processing your words, replaying that last sentence over and over again in his head, trying to make sense of it. You, of course, couldn’t hear his thoughts : all you could do was sink further into the passenger seat, hoping you had not been too blunt. A part of you wished you could go back and erase what you had just said, because the relief you had expected to feel was not coming in, and all you were left with was the fear of having ruined everything.

“Do you think that?”

“What?”

“Do you think you’re just some bird to me?”, he asked again, sounding genuinely concerned about the answer.

“No, Geo, of course I don’t, I-“

“You’re everything to me. I love you.”

“I know! I love you too! I’m just afraid is all, please try to understand…”

He became silent again, then proceeded to stop the car on the side of the road. Without a word, he pulled you into a hug and you were quick to surrender, resting your chin on his shoulder and melting into his warmth. A full minute must have gone by before he spoke up:

“I understand. ‘S just I’m so used to dismissing other people’s opinions, with the press and all…I’m sorry I didn’t realise it was troubling you. ”

“It’s okay. I didn’t tell you.”

“...Do you want to go home?”

You leaned back to look at him, surprised by the suggestion. Everything in his body language indicated he was being completely serious ; you couldn’t help but smile at how considerate it was of him to be giving you an out, despite having no intention to take him up on it. “Are you crazy? I didn’t spend centuries on my eyeliner just to chicken out at the last minute. I am meeting your friends if it’s the last thing I do.”, you joked, attempting to lighten up the mood. You figured he was thinking of your anxiety now, and did not want him to get things mixed up : you were only experiencing a bit of stage fright, driving back to London would be blowing it out of proportion. “I’m okay, George, really. I’ll have a glass of wine, get over myself, meet the bloody Beatles and realise how little all of this matters. It’ll go well.”

He nodded, relieved to hear the relative confidence in your voice. “Good, because Ringo’s house is just up the road,” he said as he started the car again. “You look stunning, by the way. I should be the one worrying.” “What are you talking about?”, you blushed, and he shook his head quietly : “Paul’s a huge flirt.”

[shirtlesssammy]

15x04: Atomic Monsters

Then:

Becky was an obsessed, gross fangirl, and it was not awesome.

Now:

We open to the bunker under attack. Dean is in full beard and kicking ass. Boy, the director of this episode sure knows how to make Dean pretty. He makes it to the bunker’s kitchen to find Benny (!!!!) on the floor dying. 

I don’t rewatch Taxi Driver for a reason, Show. I loved Benny and Dean’s friendship, so while this was great just to have him back for old time’s sake, it still makes me sad that he’s still gone. (And spoiler, this is Sam’s dream. I just like to think about how Sam still thinks about this friendship he didn’t want Dean to have and it haunts him to this day.)

Dean’s looking for someone. He walks into the war room and finds him: Sam, all powerful on demon blood. Dean tries reasoning with his brother, but he’s past all that. Sam kills another hunter sneaking up on them, and then he kills Dean. 

Sam wakes up from his nightmare, gasping. SAM!

He heads to the kitchen to find Dean looking for cases, drinking coffee, and eating a plate of bacon. Dean says it’s veggie bacon when Sam tries to turn down eat some. Sam also tells Dean that his self-proclaimed nickname “Meat Man” isn’t what he thinks it means. Dean apparently knows exactly what it means and he’s standing by it. Ahem. Dean also calls Sam out on not handling their recent losses. The Just Brothers show is a real bummer.

Anyway, the case Dean found is in Iowa. There’s been a string of cattle mutilations and a young woman’s body found ripped to pieces. 

Also, it was real bacon and Dean’s a dick for trying to trick Sam into eating it. 

At Beaverdale High School, Sam learns Susie, the vic, was a popular girl and there’s going to be a prayer vigil for her at the school. Two parents show up asking about the game getting canceled --or rescheduled. They’re just can’t have that happen. There was going to be a scout coming to that game for their son, Billy. 

Sam is appalled (and I’m sad for him, so close to losing family he cared about.) The vice principal shuts down the pushy parents, and after they leave mutters, “I swear, the parents are worse than the kids.” 

Sam meets back up with Dean (eating again). Dean was just at the morgue and found a vamp fang. This one’s a weird one. Vamps don’t usually tear their victims apart. Also, she didn’t even try to fight off her attacker. 

Later that night, a fellow student leaves the school only to be attacked by the camera in the bushes!! 

Sam and Dean check out where Susie was found. No blood means she was killed elsewhere and her body was dumped in the woods. Sam soliloquies about how taking care of the monsters is their job and they carry the weight of everyone. Dean drinks from his flask. They are coping SO WELL, guys!

Sam gets a call that another girl is missing. 

WHOA. Becky, fangirl and Sam kidnapper extraordinaire, is married with kids and is looking forward to having the house to herself for the day. Just as her husband and kids pull away, she sees her old ex, Chuck, across the street. Run, Becky, Run! Chuck wants to talk. UGH. 

The VP fills the brothers in on the new missing teen. 

Chuck checks out Becky’s maquettes and learns that she’s a successful Etsy seller of Supernatural merchandise. She fesses up to how wrong what she did to Sam was, admitted to counseling. She kept writing. She wrote the good stuff, amirite? Chuck disagrees and thinks that people like the monsters. (Natasha: raises hand.) Becky’s a busy person so Chuck better cut to the chase here. Chuck won’t let the whole monster thing go. 

Chuck admits to having a falling out with the Winchesters. He also tells Becky that his sister won’t help, because “she sucks.” Becky can’t believe that Chuck thinks he can come crawling back to her. She’s got a good life now. She doesn’t need him. 

Becky’s nice though (can’t believe I just wrote those words), and asks Chuck, what makes him happy. Writing. She tells him he has to write. 

Back at the high school, Dean is interviewing a man in a beaver suit while eating a hot dog. 

JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER. (I’m conducting an experiment with my GA co-worker about Dean is bi-Dean/Cas. I can’t wait to hear what she says about this. She did call The Breakup a “bro-fight” so I’ll keep you all posted.) 

In the school gymnasium, Billy and Veronica bond over losing Susie. Billy’s mom interrupts and he runs away. 

The third-in-line-to-the-throne cheerleader practices her eulogy alone in a gym. I obsessed over this scene in this post about stories, because it was such a strange beat in the episode. The Winchesters confront her. They ask her to head off with them alone (GURL never do that with anyone you don’t know) when Sam notices that she wears braces. 

Sam and Dean leave the gym in a huff. Vampires don’t wear braces! Foiled by braces yet again! They go back to the drawing board. 

We finally get a peek in the happy lacrosse family’s home. Everyone’s argumentative and on edge, and when we get a closeup of the dad he’s washing blood off his hands in the sink.

The camera pans through the house to the garage where the kidnapped cheerleader, Tori, lies bound and gagged. UGH.

Chuck experiences the downside of Becky-in-momland: no booze! Chuck complains that he can no longer see Sam and Dean in his head and subtly touches his hidden bullet wound. Ooooo. Becky lays out some truths for Chuck. “You’re a writer. A writer who’s not writing. And when a writer’s not writing, they feel sad and they get lost. Why do I feel this way? Why am I so sad and lost? And what is all this naval gazing and hair pulling amount to in the end? Procrastination. Distraction. Just one million ways the writer avoids doing the one thing that is guaranteed to make the writer feel better. Which is…”

“Writing,” Chuck finishes the thought. Go Becky! Except…um…now Chuck is inspired to write again. And when Chuck writes? The world ends.

Chuck takes over Becky’s computer (RUDE) and starts his next opus on supernaturalstory-onebillionparallelworlds.com. 

Sam and Dean check out the security footage from the night Tori was abducted. They nab a suspicious vehicle and a license plate which lands them at...Billy’s house. 

At Billy’s house, strife continues to be the word of the day. The parents argue that they want what’s best for Billy - whatever that is. Sam and Dean head inside, looking as dangerous as panthers.

Sam heads for the garage while Dean cues the dad into a little fun fact: they’re not FBI. No, they’re considerably scarier than the FBI. Dean pulls out a machete which is probably NOT FIELD ISSUE OKAY. 

Sam discovers that the girl has been hooked up to an IV - she’s become a slow-release food source. The mom interrupts them with a GUN. 

Danger mom escorts Sam and the cheerleader back to the living room where they have a gun vs. machete stand-off. Obviously Dean would win this matchup, okay? He’d probably, idk, stop the bullets in his teeth or something.

Becky reads over Chuck’s work. She adores it! Chuck pushes for some notes. She asks for higher stakes and while we get distracted by her rambling about the lack of classic rock and Cas, Chuck’s expression grows GRIM and DARK and VERY SCARY. (Good job Rob, you talented cinnamon roll!) 

“You want jeopardy? You want danger? I’ll give you danger.” Thanks for the trip to CREEPY TOWN, Chuck. 

Billy heads downstairs and witnesses the confrontation between the Winchesters and his parents. Dean does his usual monologue, explaining how the dad got turned into a vamp, tried to eat cows, and started eating teen girls instead. But Sam observes Billy and points out something very different. “It’s not the dad, it’s the son.” Billy confesses: he was kissing his girlfriend when he lost control and ate her instead. Man, I HATE it when that happens. 

Billy told his parents, who covered it up. They kidnapped Tori as a longer term feed option. But now their son lays it all out. He’ll take the fall for everything, including Tori’s kidnapping and assault. And he’ll take a one-way ride with the Winchesters. 

UGH now everything is terrible. Dean executes the son in a dark wooded area as the rest of the world washes any trace of the supernatural away. 

Back with Chuck, Becky finishes reading his higher-stakes take. She’s disturbed. “You can’t,” she pleads. “This is just an ending.”

“Yeah,” Chuck says, pleased. “I don’t know how I’m getting there, but I know where I’m going.” That destination, to be specific, is just a tombstone with the word WINCHESTER on it. (Can I get a hell yeah for this meta-awareness and roundabout promise that we WON’T get this ending?) 

“You can’t do this to the fans!” Becky insists. But she’s prevented from saying more by her husband’s sudden return. She starts to explain the presence of Chuck, when Chuck just ZAPS her husband out of existence. Her kids call out and BOOM they’re gone too. I start to get worried that we’re gonna have some sort of icky reverse-Misery situation here when Chuck decides to zap Becky away as well. (Can’t wait until Becky kills God at the end of the series, guys!)

In the car, Sam directly parallels Billy to Jack. Dean admits that he wanted to “cash out” in the crypt, but that Sam’s insistence that they matter pulled him back. (Me: RLY?) Sam’s bitter. Dean’s tense. “We still do the job,” Dean says. “We do it for Jack. For mom. For Rowena. We owe it to anybody who has ever given a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what.” 

Dean goes on to say that with Chuck gone, they’re finally free to “move on” and EXCUSE ME while I go throw myself into a Destiel trash bin at that phrasing. Sam’s not in the Destiel trash bin with me, because he tells us he still mourns Jessica and now we’re HURTING for other reasons. SAM BBY! 

Back at Becky’s house Chuck continues to write...INSIDIOUSLY. I can’t wait for Chuck’s next book: Sad Boys in the Impala.

______________________________

Read These Quotes Backward for a Demonic Spell:

The end of the world is the end of the world

They have no idea what’s out there

But people LIKE monsters

I need wine

Why am I so sad and lost? And what is all this naval gazing and hair pulling amount to in the end? Procrastination. Distraction. Just one a million ways the writer avoids doing the one thing that is guaranteed to make the writer feel better. 

Nobody even mentions Cas

To see your child in pain rips your heart out

We can bury them out back. Under the peonies. Everything is going to be FINE

Fans are gonna love it

Oh, Becky. I can do anything. I’m a writer

We do the ugly things so that people can live happy

Monsters are cool. What? They’re all teeth!

______________________________

[primrosesafterdawn]

Youtuber au but I'm only typing in the video names and stuff I actually want you to know

So Harry started doing this back in fourth year

harryjpotter's channel <110 videos>

welcome to my world of anxiety

so apparently I'm stuck here with the dursleys

so apparently my best friend rescued me (ft. ronniekins)

so they pranked my cousin too (ft. gredandforge)

look at that blonde ferret lol (ft. dracomalfoy but he's in ferret form)

our new professor is awesome

shit someone put my name in this weird cup thingie and now I might die

who do I even like??! (ft. choisadumbname and diggorymydudes)

my best friend is ignoring me and I'm going to die

dragons are fucking scary

I warned one of my crushes about the dragons (ft. diggorymydudes)

so my crush told me to go take a bath with this weird golden egg

rescuing my best friend and making up with him (ft. ronniekins)

so my crush is taking my other crush to the Yule Ball and I have no one

so this famous guy took my best friend to the Yule Ball (ft. grangerdanger)

my other best friend is jealous of either one of them and idk who

this sure is the weirdest maze Ive ever been in..

this noseless guy is back wtf should I do

i escaped but my crush died

so I had this teacher that was a death eater..

my cousin being a jerk (again)

seeing my godfather who is a mass murderer but actually not (ft. thebrighteststar)

my best friends are both prefects now this is great

nvm my rival is also a prefect (ft. dracomalfoy)

I might be leaving this channel for a few months because I'm busy fighting...

I hate this new teacher (ft. pinkykittens)

so the new teacher made me carve words into my hand which hurts like hell

my godfather is in trouble?!

false alarm

FUCK YOU BELLATRIX

my godfather died and both me and his husband are devastated (ft. loopylupins)

we go to this wedding

it's sixth year and I'm excited but not really at the same time

he's up to something..

out of curiosity does my rival have blonde pubes?

channel takeover by grangerdanger

explaining why harry couldn't make it

he's doing it again.. (ft. dracomalfoy)

this is getting out of hand (ft. dracomalfoy)

I might have a tiny crush on ronald?! (ft. ronniekins)

so luna likes ginny who likes harry who likes malfoy except he doesn't know it yet (ft. loonylovegood and ginnynotginerva)

ron got doused by a love potion harry was given

my crush was poisoned

so harry sliced his crush in half and honestly I'm so done

snape gave him detention and now he's going to miss a match (ft. sevysnivellius)

my idiot friends who don't know there are blonds pining over them both kissed

our gryffindors are dating!!! (ft. kissmehimirish and deantt)

harry went on a trip and the next thing you know our headmaster died (ft. dumblesfordumbo)

so he was a death eater but still harry you were obsessed

I'm back! (thanks to grangerdanger)

we need to find horcruxes

we charmed this thing to have red hair and call it ron so the ministry fucks off

horcrux hunting!(ft. grangerdanger and ronniekins)

umbitch strikes again

using polyjuice again and wow we look horrible

breaking into gringotts

ron ditched us but he came back and hermione is mad at him it's honestly so obvious they like each other

my best friend is being tortured help us

my rival saved me..

for some reason hermione keeps saying I told you so

we're here with a married couple (ft. williamweasley and fleurdelicate)

fighting voldemort again (this is getting old)

neville killed the snek!! (ft. nevilleagain)

finally guys (ft. grangerdanger and ronniekins who were snogging)

ohmygod my rival saved fred

I died and I saw my parents and my godparents who I can't believe are still in love (ft. yesimthepotterboy, lilynotevansanymore, thebrighteststar and loopylupin)

my rivals mom saved me... (ft. cissyblackmalfoy)

he died!!! (ft. solvethisriddle who is dead)

I saw my rivals family hug each other and it's kinda sweet (they are so fucking blonde whoa)

I testified at my rivals trial (cause they saved me mione no other reason at all)

i didn't know they were dating..(ft. deantt and kissmehimirish)

eighth year!!

why did they have to room me with my rival... (ft. dracomalfoy)

my rival is kinda cute someone help me

I might be gay?!

nvm I'm bi

my rival got bullied and I stepped in wtf is happening

my girlfriend and I broke up because we're both in love with blondes

so my rival kissed me

we decided to come out the exact same time as luna and ginny (ft. loonylovegood and ginnynotginerva)

not a lot of people are happy with us help

my best friends both said finally like wtf

my boyfriend and I found our lookalikes except they're straight (ft. persassy and annabrains)

we also found sirius and remus's lookalikes someone help us (ft. tbasilton and simonsnow)

double date with our lookalikes and also ron, hermione, luna and ginny

I'm proposing and this is scary

we're moving in!

draco's pregnant because fertility potions amirite

hermione's also pregnant?!

running away from our angry pregnant spouses (ft. ronniekins)

We're expecting twins!

meet lily and scorpius malfoy-potter and rose granger-weasley

I'm not only a dad but a godfather wow

channel takeover by dracomalfoy

we found my long lost cousin whose dad ran away and died in fiendfyre (ft. katniss_everqueen)

my husband's an idiot

I'm back and wow he already posted one video that said I was stupid

minerva invited us back so now I'm the DADA professor and he's the potions master

surprisingly he and neville gets along amazingly am I dreaming guys

my husband blew up the classroom

we snog in an abandoned classroom like the old days

lily's a hufflepuff and scorpius a ravenclaw wow we raised smart kids

nvm lily got in trouble on her first day the twins would've been proud

the twins' favourite is lily though they would never admit it

it's the kids' second year now

my godparents' son and tori are dating (ft. teddyblack-lupin and victoireawaits)

we caught our dads snogging and ewwww

lily and scorp here

we're taking over dad's channel cause he's boring

incendio-ing a million gummy bears

teddy black-lupin can shapeshift whoaaa

uncle Seamus is pregnant

professor flint and oliver wood are dating?!

our dads have sex for no reason

we made a new friend (ft. _atalantajackson_not_atlanta)

Well I'm done for today cause this was exhausting

[sapphic-sex-ed]

Hi umm? How to differentiate between (social) anxiety and compulsive heterosexuality? Ive been calling myself bi all my adolescence, but now that i have a real shot at something romantic/sexual w a guy im way too anxious to even open his text asking me out. Plus yesterday he was flirting with me and i got really sexually aroused but i didnt do anything abt it (not even kissing) bc i was too nervous? 😖😖😖

It can be tricky distinguishing between social anxiety and heteronormative conditioning when the most obvious signs of the latter are discomfort and anxiety around interacting with men in ceirtan ways, but there are aother ways you can try and figure this all out.

A good start is to think about how you react when you are flirting with men vs women - are you as nervous? If you are, does the anxiety feel the same or different? If you haven’t really been in this situation with a woman yet, just keep reading through cause there are still ways to figure this out.

How you look at a potentional future with a man vs. with a woman*? When you imagine a future where you are married, maybe have a house or apartment and a dog or two with your s/o, does it feel different dependent on the gender you pick for your s/o? Does the fantasy with the man feel more uncomfortable to think about? Do you have to invent some ways to cope, like add in a skewed power balance (regardless of who holds that power) or does the affection you imagine between the to of you make you feel weird?

Back when I thought I was bi (and I had no experience with either binary gender) I would say that if I got married to a man I would never want to have kids, because the conventional family structure felt weird, and alternatively if I had kids with a man I would never marry him untli maybe the kids had moved out. If I married a woman however I would love a “traditional” family image of a partner two kids a house etc. At the time I wrote it off as myself being a silly “special snowfalke” (actual term I used btw) who just wanted to be edgy and unconventional, but now I realize the heteronormativity made me feel so off I had to invent ways to circumvent parts of the norm. I wasn’t trying to be edgy and unconventional to feel special, it was that the norm was so uncomfortable I was doing my best to bend it. 

If you feel you recognize yourself in that last paragraph then that could be a sign too.

When it comes to sexual fantasies a sign could be that power imbalance I mentioned before. You need to either be super dom or super submissive or you can’t go through with it. This can manifest in kink-like fantasies because of the common D/s dynamics there, or it can manifest in infedility scenarios, or in as extreme things ars r*pe. With the latter one it can be really traumatizing even if you don’t realize it at the time and it can be really hard to work though on your own. If possible, seek counseling if that’s something you experience.

In contrast, sexual fantasies with women won’t need this type of skewed dynamic. Even if you are into kink, as I am, there will be a difference. Namely that in the fantasies with men, the dynamic will feel like the only way you can stand to be in them. If you try to actively make them more equal in power they will be super uncomfortable, or you will swap perspective so that you are the guy sleeping with a woman (also super common). But fantasies with women don’t feel uncomfortable without the power dynamic. Like sure, if you are super into D/s they might feel a little boring but the won’t feel bad.

Another thing you can do is look at your past history of crushes. If the men you’ve had crushes on are all unavailable in some way - fictional, celebreties, dead, in prison, married, gay, a friend’s sibling, etc - or if you only developed a crush on them after a friend gave their approval either by mentioning they think them hot, or saying they would be a good fit for you. 

Another crush-related sign would be if you actively selected a guy to be attracted to. Like, you didn’t see them and were like OMG but you sat down and thought okay I’m gonna be into this one. Back when I was 17 I got really into the band Queen - I’d always liked them but that’s when I got into the fandom - and I clearly remember sitting on my firend’s bed, looking at a picture of them going “okay people who like bands have a crush on one of them so who should I pick?” and litterally just went “ah that guy” for no real reason except I liked his hair and that’s the story of how I had a “crush” on Queen guitarist Brian May for two years. Contrast that with my choldhood/teen fixation with Lady Gaga and how I just saw her and went like *heart-eye emoji*, no active decition just natural obsession. 

Another way to determine if your attraction to men is genuine is if you have a very specific list of things men need to be for you to be attracted to them, and if by any chance you meet a guy who fits you instinctively add more requirements to the list. Connected to that is soley being attracted to very feminine or very masculine guys. No inbetweens. 

I’m trying to remember more but google removed the docs that had all the information so there is more but I can’t think of it right now. you could try check out the #comp het or #coercive heteronormativity tags on our blog (although I always tag both so many posts are similar, but I think mod star only tags the latter and I’m unsure about the other mods so there will be differences) and see if we have mentioned other signs. If you look prior to august I believe I will have quoted directly from the google doc (although the links to it doesn’t work anymore, obviously) so those would be the most accurate.

-mod liz

*this will be very binary in man-woman but non binary people can and do fit into this conversation, however that would require a lot more nuance and I’m out of nuance for the whole of january 2020 due to uni work so a binary discussion will have to do)

[loveisbraveandwild]

Hi! This is my “how i met taylor swift” story! i’ll never be able to express how much the privilege of being invited by taylor herself into her home to hear the lover album early, eat her rice krispy treats, and tell her i’m proud of her means to me, but here’s my attempt at least telling the story. it’s a long story so if you hate reading click here to watch the video i made about it!

At 5:30pm on July 21st, I was sitting in my bed on tumblr and a message pops up on my screen that says “Taylor Nation CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE.” Me, not trusting anyone on this site, clicked it thinking it was fake there’s no frickin way i got the dm. I read the url and the message about four times until i finally sat up out of my bed and immediately text sam, my best friend in the whole world. she texts me back in all caps, as a real friend does, and then she facetimes me. I missed what she first said but i will never forget her saying “i got mine on twitter.” After talking to her on the phone, i finally reply to tn.

monday and tuesday go by and nothing happens. on wednesday at 2:54pm I text sam “tn forgot about us” then at 2:57 my long live ringtone started blaring and i pick up and this guy is like “is this grace ----” and im like yes and he says “this is x with taylor nation.” ive never jumped up and screeched louder in my life. he tells me our conversation is confidential, confirms where i’m from, and then asks me if i can go to rhode island. here’s my reaction to my phone call. 

on friday, whilst in target, having saved taylor nation’s number in my phone, i get another phone call from them. they tell me the original location has been leaked and ask me if i can get to nashville. i’ll never be able to emphasize how grateful and privileged i feel to not only be able to have gone to sessions but to be able to say yes without needing to confirm anything with my parents and to be able to change my plans, after having booked a flight to RI (don’t worry i got a full refund!)

the following saturday i woke up at 3::30am to catch a flight to nashville. sam and my flight got in 4 minutes apart from each other. the rest of the day is a story for another time but basically i freaked out because i met about 2 dozen other swifties that i’ve been friends with for a long time. i had lunch and dinner with them, we went to the taylor swift education center, and we hung out in the hotel together. the day ended with me meeting emma, someone who i hardly interacted with but admired so much because of her blog.  

sunday morning we woke up and freaked out and spent the morning trying to stomach food and getting ready. then we went to the hotel and got to the meet up spot at 3:15ish. there were so many people i knew there and it was the craziest experience ever. at 4 a woman from tn comes up and gets us and steals our phones, etc. an hour later they bring us out to the buses and that’s when i started to get really, really overwhelmed and start crying. i would have fallen to my knees if sam hadn’t caught me.

i’m the last person off the second bus and we round the corner and once again, i start crying. fast forward and we’re in line for food (which i did not eat) and i see these adorable little labels for the food that look like taylor’s handwriting, once again, sobbing. i turn to sam and say “she loves us so much.” even if she didn’t write those cards, someone took the time to sit down and hand write them and even the smallest act went the longest way for me. 

we get in line to enter the room and about 30 minutes later they open the doors. five minutes later she jumped out and says “hey guys!” she looked the exact same as she does on my computer screen, fake. her hair was perfect, she was tall (not as tall as i imagined though), smiling, beautiful, gorgeous, all the good things. she then tells us not to share anything that happens in this room and when taylor looks you in the eye and tells you to do something you do it. 

half way through we take a little break and sam and i are in line for the bathroom when i see people coming back in the session room i immediately tell sam to sit down and we do, not moving an inch. front. row. seats. two feet away from her chair is probably an overstatement. i don’t know how it happened but we were two frickin feet away from where she was sitting. she comes back and plays the rest of the album. 

then they take the minors first and then the ~adults alphabetically. my last name starts with a B but i still didn’t meet her until about 1:30am on august 5th. when they open the door and call me in i see her reflection and she’s like dancing? i look to my laugh and there she is, im crying writing this, like real tears. 

i want to keep most of our conversation private but she immediately said “Hi Gracie!” when i talked in. i heard stories than when you hug taylor swift she never lets go first, this is indeed true. i told her i loved her in her ear while we were hugging and she said it back. then she told me she knew a selfie i had posted but she had never liked and i freaked out. i told her i’m studying political science and gender studies and i want to run for office one day and she was so excited and proud of me. i thanked her for my first notice when she put me on her story and told her why my favorite taylor song is my favorite taylor song. we talked a little bit about the album and she told me she was proud of me twice and i told her i was proud of her twice. we took our picture and she let me make sure i liked it and the only thing i remember is seeing my smile and being like “thats it” because i looked had never smiled so big. 

the next day taylor posted a picture wearing the bracelet i gave her when told her i was bi and thanked her for her allyship and i just about passed out. i spent the day in nashville and got to open my picture at!!! the!! bluebird!! cafe!!! click here for some soft video content of it! 

this entire experience was a whirlwind from start to finish and i wouldnt change a second of it. taylor, on the off chance that you see this, and on the bigger off chance that you read this, thank you. being able to look you in the eyes and tell you how proud i am of you is something i’ve dreamt about since i was about ten years old. i never thought i would be able to do it. thank you for inviting me into one of your most intimate spaces, entrusting me with your art, and ranting about politics and gender studies with me. thank you for baking for me and for introducing me to my best friends. i wouldnt be nearly as confident, stable, happy, or supported without you and the people you’ve brought into my life. i love you so much!