#ive been awak since 8am

[75screamingtoads]

Sometimes I feel like a centuries old robot in a scifi movie

The one that has to turn itself on every morning over the course of an hour, slowly waiting for access to each limb, waiting for the energy to just move

When it finally forces itself up it has to go through the routine of preparing for the day. Making sure it looks a little better, hiding all its rust spots best it can

By then it's battery is already back down to 75%

On a good day

On a bad day that might just take it out again, and it needs to restart the whole process

When it goes out, it tries to hide it. Pretends to be the latest model, maybe it's an alternate model from some niche production line, that's why it walks a little funny, talks a little different, processes things weird sometimes.

Maybe the robot itself can't feel pain, but everything it knows about it, everything it's learned, the robot knows that the pain it would feel would incapacitate a human. Maybe even other robots

It's good at hiding. It does it's best

But there are days when it's so clear. It's so obvious. That robot is different

Not everyone assumes it's old, the robot looks fairly young so it couldn't be old. Maybe it's broken. Or just lazy. Or faulty. Regardless

There is something wrong with it

It gets pitied looks, it gets yelled at, it gets dismissed.

And then at the end of the day if it's lucky, it has just enough battery left over to do something it enjoys for a few minutes

Then finally, with whatever small amount it has left, it plugs itself back in to recharge for the night. Each night it desperately hopes the next day will be easier, that maybe its waking up process will be easier, maybe its battery will last longer. Maybe it'll get some extra energy while it's out and be able to do more

It's all just fantasies of course. The longer it exists the harder things get for it. The longer it tries the more it wants to give up

The world doesn't have a use for an old broken robot body

But it's the only one he's got, so he has to make it work.

[sharkverse-turtles]

Donnie being sleep deprived as fuck: Gettin' jiggy wit ittttt [picks up Roadkill and jiggles him gently] Nah nah nah na nahhh-

Raph:

Raph: Dude, give me RK and go to bed-

[starling-ghoul]

My pillow feels like a rock, and so does my bed. Literally all I want is to sleep idk why it's been so uncomfortable the last few days oughhh

[the-kipsabian]

yeah i think i hit the point of being too tired to write coherently anymore, i guess 3,3k is my limit for today

[almostwisegalaxy]

The glory

Ha Do Young x reader

Part 3

Two weeks later

Dong-woon and I left enough clues for Ha Do-yeon's mind to question her child's paternity. Normally he should come today and collect the results. I don't think I'll be there when he comes. I work nights, my shift ends at 8am and I have 30 minutes to drop Chin off at school.

Ha Do Young's point of view

My hands are sweaty and I'm stressed. It's only 6:30 in the morning, but I'm going to the clinic to get the results of this damn test. Find out if Ye-sol is my blood, if my marriage is based on a complete lie. As soon as you arrive, I go to the reception and ask for documents.

“Yes, here are the results of the genetic test, Mr. Thank you for using our services.”

I sat down in the waiting room and decided to open the envelope. I try, but nothing works. My vision is blurry and my hands are shaking. "Excuse me, is there a doctor who can read the results now?" »

"Yes, of course. It's the third door on the right."

When I opened the door, I saw Mr. Yu concentrating on what appeared to be a patient's medical papers.

"I'm sorry to disturb you this early."

“Oh, I'm fine. "What should I do for you?"

"Can you read his results? I'm afraid of misinterpreting them."

"Yes, please sit down."

"These results demonstrate 0% genetic identity between the two individuals."

“………… Thanks, I think I should go..."

Pov pov

Yes but no

he fainted

“Mr Ha, can you hear me?

I have no response. I expected him to be shocked by the news, but not so shocked as to faint. . He should wake up soon, right?

later in the day

It is 10 p.m. when I return to resume work with one of my colleagues. When I left this morning, Mr. Ha couldn't wake up, so I left that to the nurse, and he was very pale, so I asked him to give me an IV. And when I came back to my office, it was still as inert as it was hours ago.

The clinic isn't very busy tonight, so I'm going to see a few patients first. Some get a prescription and leave immediately, while others are kept in a room overnight due to their condition. I will go back to Mr. Ha. I stopped noticing his upper body movements, so I lowered myself to bed level to check for lice. I put my hand on his neck and looked at the clock. Yes, he is breathing quite normally. And at that moment he decided to wake up, put his hands on his neck and looked into mine. From this point of view, it looked like two people about to kiss.

"You're finally awake. I'm starting to worry."

"Why am I here?"

"You came for tests and due to lack of food, I guess you passed out"

He let go of my hand and we both sat down

" What time is it ?"

"11:40 p.m."

He tried to pull the IV out of his hand but I stopped him by putting my hand on it.

"Don't do this, you don't have enough iron and you could fall at any movement"

"You don't understand. I have to fix something at home"

"I know you must be worried about your daughter, but I don't think confronting your wife about it right now is good for your health."

"Because in addition to being a doctor, you are a marriage counselor?" I don't think a single mother knows what to do in this situation!

"Forgive me, I-"

"Okay. Take that needle off if you want so much you hit your face on the next stairs you'll see later. Get out of here" I said as I left the room.

"Miss Yu wait" but there was no time. I slammed the door in his face.

Dong Eun I hope you manage on your side because what I have is rat bowl

I slipped away 2 hours later and found him STILL there, lying staring at the ceiling. Let him do what he wants. I sat in the chair behind the desk, with my back to him, to study the somewhat complicated case of an undiagnosed woman.

Ha Do Young pov

"Miss Yu, I sincerely apologize to you. I should never have talked to you like that, especially since you were trying to help me"

" Hmm"

"And I also apologize for yelling at you. It was anger but I know it shouldn't have been directed at you"

" Hmm "

"You still won't talk to me?"

" Hmm"

"Can I at least ask you a question?"

" Hmm "

"How did you know I took a paternity test?"

"I was wondering what was the cause of your sudden unhealthiness and I got the information from the lab technician"

I say nothing more to collect my ideass. I don't know if I'm angry or sad right now. Well I blame yeon jin for lying to me but I don't know. From the beginning I suspected an extra marital relationship but I didn't dwell on it more than that. After all she fit the but gender standard and my mother had happily given her approval to the wedding announcement so I thought it was already good enough to live out the rest of my life. But I was seriously mistaken.

"What...what would you do if it was you in this situation?"

"I will do everything to keep my child. If eventually I still love him so much"

" But how to do it ?"

"It's simple. I turn his brain over to him in order to acquire proof of any mental instability of my spouse and the other in case he wants to recover the child following the divorce. But after that it's not that the opinion of a mother who raises her child alone does not take it into account "

"Sorry again for-"

" Excuse rejected. What do you think? Raising a child alone is easy? I have no one to trust my son to when I'm not around. I'm carrying my child just to have enough money to give him what he deserves. So I don't allow anyone to judge me. Is that clear?" She is now facing me speaking. I decide to get up to talk to him

"I can't say otherwise. I see how hard you are working for both of you and my words were very inappropriate. I don't know if you could forgive me"

"I think you'd better leave if you feel up to it"

" All right." I gather my things and get ready to leave. " Bye"

After leaving the hospital at dawn, I just went home to change. Ye-sol and her mother are still sleeping. It's better this way, I don't know how it's going to end if we talk. I am working at the moment. I just finished one and I'm so tired. I have too many thoughts swirling around in my head. But I don't want to think about anything. I just want to have my daughter with me, even if she's not really mine.

And this conversation with Ms. Yu ohhh. I hate this tension that has set in. I can understand his reaction to my comment. Basically, I always avoid unnecessary arguments, especially with those around me, so this situation makes me sad.

I decide to pick up Ye-sol from her school to spend some time with her and see if I still love her as much as before. The road from the company to the elementary school passed by the path of Ms. Yu's son Chin, I looked around not expecting to see anything special except for the little one sitting under the tree in front of the school. But what can he be doing at this hour outside. I got out of the car to go see him but noticed a few other kids around him.

"See, I told you. No one will come looking for him because he doesn't have a father."

“Bouu has a little chin without a father bouuu” “yes a bastard”

"Fuck bastards!" They screamed in their hearts but upon noticing me they ran away.

Chin was lying on the ground, his back to me. Looks like they pushed him. He tries not to cry, it shows. I leaned over to him and started a discussion with him.

“Did you hurt my little one?

"No...... Just a little crack on the knee"

"Okay, and can you tell me what you do outside of school?"

"The teacher has to go there urgently. The director called all the parents to come and take us home but mum didn't answer"

"but why aren't you in the yard, safe."

"It's them...... They like to bother me and hurt me. And I don't want to wait with them"

" OK. Uhh how about I take you to see your mom?

"You would do that?"

"Of course. I just need to take my daughter and go. Do you trust me?"

"No, But I Want to See Mom"

"so let's go see her"

I took her hand, bandaged her knee and we were on our way. Once at the hospital, I drove two toddlers across the street. Upon arriving, he knocked on the door and we heard a voice

"Yes who is it?"

"Hello, it's me momma" he says running to throw himself on the mother who has just caught up with him

"Yes and us too" ye-sol greeted her from inside the room

“Hey kids, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class? "

"Madam must have come home early"

"My father came to get me"

"And he scratched his knee" I said

"Pardon ?"

Then she examined his wound, disinfected it and put a bandage on it. Meanwhile, ye-sol fetches snacks from the vending machine further away.

"How did you do that? Honey"

"Other kids push me"

"And why are they doing this?"

"He just likes to annoy me. It's nothing serious, momma."

"No, from what I could see, it's not just adispute. This is harassment", I said

"And maybe you know why he harassed you?" He immediately bowed to his mother's words, as if he had been mistaken.

"Chin answers mom" she told him, she gently grabbed his shoulder "my chick?"

"........They say I'm a bastard......That I don't have a father and that's why I'm going to end my life in school. I'm sorry mom, I know this is wrong. Anyway, I only need you” and he hugs her.

"You don't have to apologize for that. It's not your fault"

Then Ye-sol came back and offered to take the kids to lunch and bring her son back around the afternoon. She agreed and we left her alone. She really needs it.

___________________________________

hey hi. I don't have many ideas to continue the story, so I prefer to wait for season 2 which comes out soon to get an idea. I hope you like the story. and if you have any ideas. Help me

A perfect family 🫣

Part2:

[syunkiss]

hi honey I’m back! Are you feeling alright? How was your day?

HII I MISSED YOU my day has been tiring. im overwhelmed and talking to ppl just overwhelms me even more so its like. its 22:00 rn. ive been awake since 8am just watching netflix and chilling

HOW WAS UR DAY???

[chiyoso]

Hiraeth, hi! I'm back from my Abyss to check on you. How are you doing?

I saw the banners for the next version in genshin and like, wow, thank you hoyo (no not thank you) for putting Neuvillette in 1st part. How am I supposed to get enough primos for his banner if this version will end in like a week, and I'm busy with uni??? Hoyo, have mercy on me please

Anyway, sorry for little ramble and take care of yourself! Don't overwork and don't stress out too much!

gahhh qin!! hi!! thank you for the check up 🥺

and I GET YOU.

i missed the wanderer and lyney banner SO HARD

AND THEY WERE MY TOP TWO FAVORITE CHARACTERS IN THE WHOLE EXISTENCE OF GENSHIN HNNGH :(((

since both their banners are so recent, i dont know when ill get their rerun but rest assured ive saved up until then, but for now? I SUFFER IN AGONY FROM NEUVILLETTE'S BANNER

i want him so bad too :(((

idk if you play hsr but im gonna try pulling for fu xuan 🤭 (also i can get guaranteed for jingliu if i lose my 50/50 as well) but i heard fu xuan is cracked as hell

oh shit i forgot you asked about how im doing too

uuh, honestly i've been really tired? my sleep schedule has been really shit (sleeps at 4-8am and is awake like at evening to midnight)

BUT HEY!!! VENTI GAVE ME A VISION EHE <3

[kaiwuzherenz]

SMH PARENTS AWAKE! BOUT TIME! IVE BEEN UP SINCE 6AM...ITS 8AM smh

[rainbowgothdisaster]

the fastest my heart has been today has been waiting for the flight check in to open.

ive been awake since 7am after 4 hrs of sleep and i packed 3 (and a half) bags in between 8am and 1pm

anxiety is wild

[gddmgttsu]

Good morning!

(or atleast how 3am is morning to some but still night to others)

I’ve had a wild day yesterday and I still have a lot of mixed feelings about a few things. Honestly I still haven’t settled with how I feel about everything so it’s a bit hard for me to calm down still.

It begins 2 days ago where out of nowhere I get a text saying that I have a job interview the next day. I was surprised because that’s barely enough time to prepare myself but I decided to go along with it anyway…

That night I slept on time but I only got 1 hour of sleep. Something was wrong with me and I decided “ehh I’ll do it anyway it shouldn’t take more than a few hours and so I got prepared to go to the interview at 8am with no sleep.

Right as I left the house with my resume and everything, about a third of the way there I realize I left my ID at home. I felt a pit in my stomach and in that moment I knew it was over. I wasn’t getting this job but I still went back home to get it and go anyway.

When I got there, I was greeted with about 20 or so applicants and I was the last one there. I was about 10 mins late when I should have been 15 mins early so I wasn’t feeling very good.

After a bit of waiting, we were all led to a room with a papers infront of everyone’s seats. As I sat down, it was a basic math test with subtracting, adding, multiplying and word problems. Remember I’m on an hour of sleep and Ive been awake for 9 hours since that nap so my brain was fried.

I couldn’t remember how to do those basic calculations by hand since it’s been so long and I use a calculator for everything now. The numbers I was writing felt correct though by just eyeballing it and so I finished it somehow.

Next was the interview segment. They interviewed us 3 at a time and when I was called a nice lady started asking me questions. At this point I honestly didn’t care anymore. I was so sleepy and tired that I knew deep down I wasn’t going to make it. I answered everything as earnestly as I could. I had no real experience with the job I applied for so I tried to make up for it with enthusiasam… atleast as much as 1 hour of sleep could get you…

What surprised me was after everyone was done, around half of us were called again to another room and inside it was another goddamn test for everyone.

It was vocabulary, number pattern recognition and abstract pattern recognition. it’s about 11:30 by this point and I’m just cooked but I still tried my best to answer it. It was a first for me to get extensively quizzed like this for a job. It felt like trying to apply for college again.

After that they gave everyone left slips of paper. I was expecting mine to say “you tried. you can go home now :)” but to my surprise, it said I was cleared for the final interview. I was so shocked that it took an extra second to see that I had to wait an HOUR MORE because it’s lunch break and they told us to get lunch.

I was tired, I was sleepy and I wanted to go home but I guess sunk cost fallacy kicked in and I toughed it out. I got lunch and waited. Ironically it said 1pm but we didn’t actually start until 2 so I was getting really impatient.

Everyone started getting called 1 by 1 by the head of HR and I was called last. Apparently the person that interviewed me before was the head of HR so I didn’t actually get interviewed again. I was just given the job proposal and was asked to sign a contract.

…I actually landed it.

I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve been unemployed for longer than I should. I always felt jealous of my friends who seem to be able to go through their life on track and here I am with an actual real job for once. I had several emotions but I couldn’t quite internalize them for a bit since it’s not over yet.

My contract was that I was assigned to a nicer area but it’s a bit away from my house so my commute will be a bit strange. I dreaded gettng a job around there but I have no choice since I need the money and I need the experience.

Next was that it was 6 days a week… I wasn’t very happy about that but I guess I can’t be picky. I should be happy but to lose one of my weekends fills me with dread as to how I’ll cope long term.

I was given a long list of requirements due next week which honestly sounds like a nightmare but I gotta do it. With that I was sent home.

On the car ride back I was feeling anxious. I was scared I was going to mess this up. I was scared of losing time to myself and I was scared of losing my friends strangely enough.

I was going to be busy from this day onward for a whole year… It’s quite a shock and a whole bunch of responsibility was dumped on me in one instant.

When I got home, it was really starting to sink in just what exactly I signed up for. I was so sleepy and I wanted to just lie down and sleep. I had to shower since I was out the whole day and the only thing at the back of my head was “If I don’t calm down right now I’m going to explode”. I haven’t felt this way since college.

Right before going to bed I talked with my friend, maybe my closest friend right now. They were happy for me and supportive which helped but after I calmed down I felt alittle sad.

They’re normally busy so we rarely hang out but recently we’ve been talking alot every other day. I enjoy their company dearly and to suddenly have that be abruptly cut made me feel very lonely.

I don’t doubt that we’ll still be friends and that we’ll still talk throught the thing but right now I feel as if there’s a barrier between me and my support group.

I’ve had a good nights rest since then and I’m writing this post as I woke up.

My sleep was rocky as it was cut into 5 parts and it was plagued by every fear I described. I noticed that after every sleep-wake cycle I was less anxious about everything and it really felt like my mind was coping very hard. After about 12 hours of sleep I’m awake now.

The only feeling I have left is just sadness…

I really don’t know if I’ll be able to live up to the standards expected of me. Being an adult and one who’s life fell apart right sfter college is very scary. It’s isolating and I feel very prone to bouts of depression thinking about what went wrong.

Aside from a handful of people, I don’t have a lot to talk to about my problems that really understand. Honestly I started this blog as a place to just write down how I feel because it’s genuinely crippling sometimes.

I’ve mostly accepted the fact that this is now the next step in my life. I very much need to stick with it as best I can because this is an opportunity to turn my life around.

If not for myself, I should do it for the few people that believe in me.

I suppose we’ll see how life goes from this day onward and I hope for the best for other people in the same situation as me. I should consider myself lucky and I’ll try to keep a positive attitude from now on.

I’ll do my best!

[delirious-donna]

Saw your ask how our fridays are going and well... i felt like talking today ^^' i hope you don't mind.

My day actually had been also very slowly since I woke up very - in fact too early (5 am) bc I had a morning lecture at 8 am ._. Only had 4hrs of sleep

I was tired the entire time it didn't help either it was architecture history and later "how living in a space/rooms works" which was even more boring xD (I study interior design). Normally I love it, but today i wasnt feeling it.

I am dreading and procrastinating university homework and took a nap once I arrived home :^)

it was good nap, I am more awake now but still feeling slightly lazy and it bothers me a little bit ._. I had been lacking in the past few days, just not feeling to do anything. But Ive been reading lately more and started writing again. I hope I get to draw as well, I miss my old routine.

Despite the downer of not being that productive like I wish to be, I had however a very delicious lunch and my mom bought chocolates for me yesterday (YAAAAY! \^-^/ )

It felt kind of good to write that bit down, made my head clearer :) thank you if you read this and I hope you reach your word count in a satisfied manner ^^ (do you have any tips on sticking to a word count regularly?)

Hey love!! Of course I don’t mind. I wouldn’t put out those posts if I wasn’t craving some kind of interaction so thank you for reaching out.

That is an early lecture… I can’t imagine I would have made many of those back in my uni days. I was not a morning person in the slightest so unless I had stayed up all night (happened more often than it should have) I wouldn’t be there for an 8am lecture! 😂

I also indulged in a nap today so I can agree with you on it feeling refreshing because I definitely felt better after my own. Sometimes we need days where we do less, kinda like reset days so try not to be too hard on yourself about it.

Reading more tends to inspire me to write more so you’re on the right track for it. You’re so lucky you can draw too!! I’m jealous cause I’d love to have that skill.

Yay for lunch and yay for mom buying chocolate!! As for advice on sticking to word counts… it’s not something I do too often. I don’t like to say “today I will write x amount of words.” However, I do find that writing sprints help with keeping me focused and seeing the result often encourages me to do another sprint and it spirals from there. I guess it depends on what motivates you, whether it’s words on a page or time spent on something. My advice is always don’t beat yourself up if you don’t make it, just try to get a little closer next time.

I hope this helps!! <3

[xplrvibes]

re: middle paragraph… hehehehehe 😈 at least if anything srsly wild happens we can switch to messenger and it won’t be confusing lol

Omg snoooooow! we get snow here but not snow storms. i really want to experience one! trees covered, deep foot prints, snowflakes… how stunning. im sure a storm is scary but… snow ❄️ ⛄️

im sick. ive been back at work 2 weeks and im sick. i woke up at 3am to tell my work i wont be in today and then i checked insta and colby was also awake lol weird to know he’s literally 30 minutes from me rn 😳 also weird to think a few yrs ago i lived a few minutes over from them and i didnt even know who they were and now they’re literally in my hometown. maybe its my illness riddled brain but its all throwing me for a loop rn lol small world

also tswift is here too and while im not a fan (collective gasp) im enjoying the hype so many people have for her being here. im such an energy vibe person idk like ill be happy just bc someone else is happy lol

anyway its vday for the usa… are we bracing for impact? lol 😂

- aussie anon

Exactly...we have an outlet now 🤣.

Snow storms are really only scary if you're out in them (getting caught driving when a squall comes through is about the most terrifying thing ever), or if your power goes out. Otherwise, they are kind of nice...until you have to go out and shovel or dig your car out. Then it just sucks again, lol.

That's awful! You really gotta get that NyQuil lol. And yea, it's throwing me for a loop when they're posting at like 8am my time cause I am not used to seeing anything from them until the afternoon 🤣. Did you live in the States for a while? That must have been...interesting lol.

Not only is TS there, but WWE is going to be there for a big event next weekend (in Perth, though) so Australia is just the place to be right now 🤣.

You know? V Day could go either way this year. I think if the boys were in the US, it would be a malishkagate level situation all over again lol. Since they aren't...eh. Remains to be seen 🤣.

[hopskipandarump]

ive been awake on and off since 8am, im still waiting for the maint guys to show up, and i barely slept, so i got p5t to feel better zzzzzzz

[smellypoo711]

so far today

its currently nearly 11:30am and im sat in bed when i should be in my psychology lab. i texted my lab group that im sorry, i only just woke up, blah blah blah... but i lied lol ive been awake since around 8am. honestly just wasn't feeling up to going today, ive been having a rough couple of weeks because ive been off my meds for a while and too anxious to get more. but ANYWAY!!

surprisingly i feel quite at peace this morning, i cleaned my room and reorganised my food drawer which made me feel like i actually accomplished something lol. i know its small but im proud of myself for doing it. ive been so depressed recently that everything has felt hard to do. there's also the potential threat of being beat up by a drug dealer so!!!!!!

i wanna talk more about my food drawer though cos i'm really proud of it..idk anyway there r only a few things that i keep in my drawer and they are: tea, curry, soup powder, and vitamin c. i live in catered accommodation which only serves breakfast (too anxious to go to) and dinner (soooo far away) - so its hard to cook as we aren't provided with proper cooking stuff, only a kettle, microwave and toaster. i actually stole the kettle from the kitchen cos its so far away from my room lol pls don't tell anyone

its really comforting making miso soup and japanese corn soup because the taste reminds me of being back in asia

also last night i mixed 2 katsu curry cubes with boiling water then added it into my rice cooker and had a really nice curry rice

idk where im going with this honesty im just rambling

[stinkrascal]

i woke up so early today bc me and bf are cooking a crock pot roast and letting it sit for 8 whole hours so it will be done by the time hes off work… and dude this looks so good!! call me chef jaiden 🧑🏼‍🍳

[antifragi1e]

i have not slept in 32 hours 😁😁😁😁