smellypoo711

[smellypoo711]

how tf do ppl read mixed signals

[smellypoo711]

I just did pingers for the first time

IT WAS SO MCUH FUN. I FELT SO HAPPY WND AT PEAce. I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt so relaxed . I want that feeling again I’m not gonna lie

[smellypoo711]

WHY R ALL MY FRIENDSHIPS ONE SIDED?????????????????????

[smellypoo711]

I made this for dinner yesterday tho it was good

[smellypoo711]

i give up putting in an effort with friends

[smellypoo711]

good day today but I went to sainsburys and bought snacks then proceeded to consume them all WITHIN 5 HIURS, I literally usually hate chocolate but today I craved it

[smellypoo711]

ive gotten my period 5 TIMES IN 2 MONTHS?????? is this normal????? should i see a doctor??? i literally feel fine otherwise

[smellypoo711]

im actually doing surprisingly well this weekend and ive literally run out of meds as well

i have no money to buy drugs rn as well so this is very surprising that i’ve actually been enjoying life in my little room. ive realised I actually really really love cooking as well :)

also. yesterday i woke up to a phone call from fucking waitrose saying ur delivery is here I was like wtf what delivery??????? turns out my mum decided to surprise me with loads of fresh fruit veg and stuff.. best day EVER i’m so grateful

idk if this is me being manic though idk but im gonna enjoy it before i go into another depressive episode lol

also weirdest interaction yesterday, my accomodation is catered and I was at lunch. this random ass guy I’ve never seen before came up to my table and stood over leaning toward me and asked me if i’m from spain- for context i don’t look remotely Spanish.. i’m pale af and have distinct Asian features lol - but i was like uh no. and he said reallt??? Ur not Spanish?? i was lowkey offended like OFC IM NOT SPANISH JUST LOOK AT ME????? but i played it cool and was just like no im asian. he asked me where in asia I said i’m filipino he said cool im from Pakistan! ur beautiful by the way! and walks off, i thought it was a dare but he just sat down straight faced and kept eating like nothing happened.. I mean thanks for the compliment but the execution was so strange and borderline creepy idk how to describe it

anyway ive typed too much ill probably post something later byeee

[smellypoo711]

this was my dinner yesterday all made in a single rice cooker.. ik it doesn’t look great but the taste was HONESTLY a 10/10 seasoning is everything

rice with beef, egg, mushroom, spinach, soy sauce, sriracha, spring onion, garlic. INSANE

[smellypoo711]

btw i have an intense drug addiction

(trying to stop though pls pray for me!!! OMG i love ketamine!!!)

[smellypoo711]

i dont even know if this is gonna be me sharing experiences i think its just gonna be random rambling

[smellypoo711]

so far today

its currently nearly 11:30am and im sat in bed when i should be in my psychology lab. i texted my lab group that im sorry, i only just woke up, blah blah blah... but i lied lol ive been awake since around 8am. honestly just wasn't feeling up to going today, ive been having a rough couple of weeks because ive been off my meds for a while and too anxious to get more. but ANYWAY!!

surprisingly i feel quite at peace this morning, i cleaned my room and reorganised my food drawer which made me feel like i actually accomplished something lol. i know its small but im proud of myself for doing it. ive been so depressed recently that everything has felt hard to do. there's also the potential threat of being beat up by a drug dealer so!!!!!!

i wanna talk more about my food drawer though cos i'm really proud of it..idk anyway there r only a few things that i keep in my drawer and they are: tea, curry, soup powder, and vitamin c. i live in catered accommodation which only serves breakfast (too anxious to go to) and dinner (soooo far away) - so its hard to cook as we aren't provided with proper cooking stuff, only a kettle, microwave and toaster. i actually stole the kettle from the kitchen cos its so far away from my room lol pls don't tell anyone

its really comforting making miso soup and japanese corn soup because the taste reminds me of being back in asia

also last night i mixed 2 katsu curry cubes with boiling water then added it into my rice cooker and had a really nice curry rice

idk where im going with this honesty im just rambling

[smellypoo711]

hi

ive decided to create this blog depicting the good, the bad, and the UGLY of my life at uni. its been eventful to say the least

here is some information about me:

i am 19 years old

i'm female

i'm studying at the university of bristol.

i'm in first year currently but did a gap year

i'm studying psychology

i'm a freelance model

i'm half australian, half filipino

i have been in boarding school since year 7

my parents and sibling live in singapore

I'm mostly writing this blog for myself as a coping mechanism but i hope it helps anyone who needs it. :)