#ivan the terrible part 1

[empty-dream]

I'll never forgive you. I'll never forgive you, for as long as I live. You know why? Because thanks to you, I now know there's another, happier world out there. So stand up, dammit. Stand up and fight for it. Go on and brag about how you can smile in your world, and tell us why it should be the one to survive. Be proud. Hold your head up high, and fight for your weak little world. Don't you dare go losing to a world like this, a world whose only virtue is strength!

Fate/Grand Order • Cosmos in the Lostbelt : Permafrost Empire, Anastasia

[pacingmusings]

Seen (again) in 2024:

Ivan the Terrible, Part 1 (Sergei Eisenstein), 1944

[like-tears-in-rain-storms]

Scene Parts: 1, 2, 3.

[entrehormigones]

[illbegottenfaith]

hey!! i loved ur handwritten fic with the notes it was absolutely amazing, do u think u could make a pt 2 of that or just another fic with that format? thank u!! <3

handwritten pt 2 - theo nott x reader

yours and theo's story as told through notes passed in class

Part 1 | Part 2

a/n - thank you so much for this lovely!! it gave me the motivation I needed to clean up the dribs and drabs I had drafted out so here it is <3 I have plans/ideas for future chapters too (similar format but might not be restricted to just notes 👀) but I'm not sure how long of a series it'll actually end up being. enjoy!

tropes/warnings - fluff, a little more angst than the last chapter, newstudent!theo, estranged friends to lovers

word count - 1.9k

Saturday, 9.48 pm, The Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade

You okay?

Yeah, why?

You’re awfully quiet. And you’ve been staring into your empty butterbeer for the past ten minutes, so either it was terrible or you’re plotting something.

Ha-ha.

You hate this, don’t you?

They’re just not the kind of people I hang out with.

Let’s get out of here.

Are you kidding? This party is for you, Theo.

Look at them. They’re drunk off their tits. No one’s going to mind.

No, stay. I might call it a night soon, though.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Don't worry about me, I’m just not used to hanging out with these kinds of people.

What kind?

I don’t know. Quidditch players. Hooligans. It’s not really my scene.

I didn’t know you felt that way.

I didn’t want to spoil your night.

Listen, it’s getting late. I should probably head back.

Okay. Get your coat, I'll settle the bill.

No, it’s fine, I can pay for my drink. Besides, you should stay.

At least let me walk you back.

Stay. I mean it.

Fine, but I’m paying for your drink. And before you say anything, it’s one lousy butterbeer. Consider it compensation for ruining your evening.

You didn’t ruin my evening. I liked the part when we walked here together. I don’t mind this too much either - scribbling on napkins.

Let me walk you back. Please.

Saturday, 10.19 pm, Ravenclaw Dormitories, Hogwarts

What's with the notebook?

Sorry, Ivan's finally passed out and I don't want to wake him. He hasn't been able to sleep all week, can you imagine? It's that stupid Herbology project - y'know, the one that Katie's been simmering those mandrakes for - I swear, he's so tense in the shoulders. I finally got him to nod off after dinner and it just seems cruel to wake him up and make him go allll the way down to his dorm :(

Fine, but Merlin help you when Katie wakes up and finds him still here. I still can't wrap my head around how much he lets you baby him. He's a Slytherin, for God's sake.

Please, he knew what he was getting himself into. If anything, I think the babying might have been a motivating factor. Anyway, how was the party?

Okay, I think. I kissed him. On the cheek.

YOU'RE going to wake Ivan. Have some goddamn self-control.

OH I KNEW ITTT I knew it the moment he walked into Charms class and you looked up and your eyes met and you lost your tongue and when you looked back he had that shy sort of smile I just KNEW he was going to be so good for you. Because he is, Y/N. He might be the best thing that's happened to you.

Gosh, relax. It's not like it meant anything. What's a little friendly peck between friends here and there? I just did it so he wouldn't follow me back to the castle like a lost puppy. Besides, he's not that perfect.

A real human being with real human flaws? You don't say.

It's hard to explain. He's only being this nice because he knows what he's done.

What has he done?

Some pretty hard-to-forgive stuff. I don't want to get into it right now.

Have you?

Have I what?

Forgiven him.

I don't know. I mean, I see him trying to reach out, but every time, even now, with the party - something stops me from...fully connecting. Something holds me back.

I don't think I have.

Monday, 9.13 am, Charms

Did you get back alright?

Yup.

I wanted to come check, but the guys...

I told you they weren't going to let their guest of honour run off. So how was the rest of the night?

Middling. They started up a game of strip poker when we got back.

Oh.

Allegedly, normal poker was too ordinary for a night as special as that.

You're kidding, right?

Oh my fucking god, you gamble??

Who said the poker had anything to do with gambling?

So you don’t gamble?

I didn’t say that.

Theo.

OUCH enough with the pinching! I've already had ten years too many of it.

I can't help that it's the only way to get you to behave.

I don’t see what the problem is. It’s my money to use as I see fit. Plus, I'm very careful about the people I play with. Merlin knows we have too much anyway.

Unbelievable. Gambling, really? Why not just drop out of Hogwarts and live slot machine to slot machine, huh? Why don't you just set up shop at some casino in Las Vegas?

I'm very confused. Do you want to go to Vegas?

You have the attention span of a fruit fly.

Because that's not a half-bad idea. We could make a whole trip out of it over the summer.

Your friends need to introduce you to more legal forms of recreation. What are you doing Wednesday night?

Nothing yet.

Good. I'm teaching you Exploding Snap.

Isn't that a kid's game?

FUCK I'm SORRY but DO NOT pinch me in the same place twice.

Oh, quit whining. You'll live.

Barely. If you keep this up, I'm going to start sitting far far away from you and those PINCERS you call fingers.

Wednesday, 1.02 pm, Potions

I ran into Katie on the way here and Merlin, she was in hysterics. I'm out of the room for one night and I miss you making out with Loverboy in our dorm??? Geez, at least put a sock on the door.

We were not making out!!! Katie just walked in at an unfortunate time.

Uh-huh.

Look, he was the one who showed up at the window on his broom, drunk out of his mind.

Drunk??

I know! What was he thinking, risking his neck all the way up there at the Ravenclaw dorms?? It was like he didn't even notice too. I thought I was hallucinating at first, but then I opened the window and nope, that was him, and then I screamed and he nearly fell off his broom so I hauled him inside. He practically faceplanted on the floor. I was terrified - I thought he was poisoned or something, but then I tried to prop him up and he had this dopey look on his face and he reeked of firewhiskey. Ugh, it was so annoying. I don’t want to talk about it.

You know what he said to me? After all that?

I thought you didn’t want to talk about this?

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh?

Uh-oh. Like a goddamn Looney Tunes character.

Looney Tunes?

Never mind. He was all ‘uh-oh, you’re mad at me’ while I was trying to get him to drink some coffee and I was like yeah, no shit, you look like you’re seconds away from puking all over my dorm. And then he started…he started talking about the party, and me leaving, and how sorry he was he brought me in the first place.

Aww.

I know, right? I felt like crap. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal to him.

Of course it was a big deal. That was him introducing you to his new friends.

Exactly, new friends. What does he want with me?

Y/N, are you daft? Do you not see the way he looks at you? He so clearly cares what you think about his friends.

What on earth are you talking about?

Ivan's on the team so they hang out together sometimes and he says Theo's a lot different around you. He doesn't swear as much, he drops his voice a little and he's extra attentive. Hell, he nearly got into a fight with some dunce in our year over the way that guy was talking about you. Y/N, he obviously cares about you so, so much. Please tell me you didn’t say anything too harsh.

I called the whole lot of them hooligans.

NOOOOO

But t's true!! Have you seen their matches? How they don't rip each other to shreds is beyond me. But I didn't mean that he was like that. Theo could never be like them. He'd play a good, fair, clean game.

Yeah. Sure.

What's that supposed to mean?

You haven't watched a single one of his practices, have you?

No. Should I?

Never mind. What happened next?

That's when things started going downhill. He started trying to remove his shirt because it was so hot from Katie’s blasted simmering pot of mandrakes. I was trying to stop him, only he wasn’t listening, and apparently he gets rather clingy and touchy when he’s, y’know, tipsy, and then…Katie walked in.

Damn.

Of course that's when he decides to sober up, so I look like an idiot while everyone in the room - yes! even him!!! - wants to know what I’m doing in his lap. He was sooooo polite too, as if he hadn’t just rudely breaking-and-entering’d his way into my room. ‘Oh, hello, Y/N. What a tastefully decorated room you have, Y/N. Is there a reason we’re sitting so close, Y/N?’ As if I want to be sitting in his lap!

Right.

Because I don’t.

Okay.

‘Cause that would be so weird.

Mhm.

Like…ew.

Okay, okay. I get it. I believe you.

He wouldn’t even let me get up or anything. Just kept talking to Katie about the weather with his hand on my thigh, casual as ever. I swear, if that teammate of his - what's his name, Mattheo? - hadn't come looking for him, I don't know how I would have gotten him down to his dorm.

What a thriller of a story, from start to finish.

Yeah, well, I could do it with a little less thrill in my life.

Aw, I think it was sweet. That disaster of a party was clearly eating at him.

Yeah. I mean, we're friends. It should bother him if I've had a shitty night, right? But also...we're just friends.

For the record, you're a different person around him too.

Psh. Yeah right.

Different how?

Ivyyyy

Thursday, 3.07 pm, Defence Against the Dark Arts

How’s your hand?

Doing very badly, thank you very much.

I have to say, I didn’t take you to be this sore of a loser.

My fingertips have been singed off. Forgive me if I seem a little sulky.

Aww. Was the kid's game a little too hard for the big, manly, Quidditch player?

You tricked me. You didn't even tell me all of the rules before we started playing.

Oh, come on. You knew enough to play.

But not to win!

Yes, well, I wasn't about to hand you a victory on a silver platter. I thought Slytherins were supposed to be clever, or something. Maybe you're the 'something.'

Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. We'll see who's laughing after next week's chess match.

Does it hurt a lot? Your fingers?

For a lesser man? Perhaps. I think I'm dealing with the pain quite well, actually.

So if we didn't have class, you'd be -?

Writhing on the floor of my dorm.

Ah, I see. Poor baby. Want me to kiss it better?

Promises, promises.

But you still had fun, didn’t you?

It is quite the adrenaline rush.

I knew it.

Alas, my fingertips…

Oh, sod off. You always were the biggest drama queen.

[nofatclips-home]

The Ultimate Film Studies Watchlist:

Pre-1920s 4:52 The Films of the Edison Labs 6:05 The Films of Louis and Auguste Lumiére 6:57 The Big Swallow (1901) 7:56 Le Voyage Dans La Lune (1902) 9:04 The Great Train Robbery (1903) 10:07 Fantasmagorie (1908) 10:56 Suspense (1913) 11:41 The Birth of a Nation (1915) 13:48 Intolerance (1916) 14:56 J'accuse (1919)

The 1920s 15:52 The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) 16:46 The Phantom Carriage (1921) 17:29 Haxan (1922) 18:07 Sherlock Jr. (1924) 18:51 Greed (1924) 19:33 The Last Laugh (1924) 20:25 Battleship Potemkin (1925) 22:25 A Page of Madness (1926) 23:10 Metropolis (1927) 23:51 Napoleon (1927) 25:02 Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927) 25:43 The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928) 26:57 Un Chien Andalou (1929) 27:22 Man with a Movie Camera (1929)

The 1930s 28:50 M (1931) 29:35 Freaks (1932) 30:24 The Testament of Dr. Mabuse (1933) 30:54 Duck Soup (1933) 32:04 L'Atalante (1934) 33:01 Modern Times (1936) 33:36 Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937) 35:45 Stagecoach (1939) 36:26 The Rules of the Game (1939) 37:48 Gone with the Wind (1939)

The 1940s 39:18 The Great Dictator (1940) 39:59 Fantasia (1941) 41:20 Citizen Kane (1941) 43:15 To Be or Not To Be (1942) 44:56 Meshes of the Afternoon (1943) 45:49 Casablanca (1943) 46:56 Double Indemnity (1944) 48:18 Ivan the Terrible (1944) 48:51 Beauty and the Beast (1946) 49:50 Paisan (1946) 50:39 Brief Encounter (1946) 51:25 The Bicycle Thieves (1948) 52:43 Children of the Beehive (1948) 53:15 The Red Shoes (1948) 54:17 The Third Man (1949)

The 1950s 55:35 Sunset Blvd. (1950) 56:28 Los Olvidados (1950) 57:26 Rashomon (1951) 58:42 Singin' in the Rain (1952) 59:34 Tokyo Story (1953) 1:00:59 Ugetsu (1954) 1:01:35 Rear Window (1954) 1:02:42 The Night of the Hunter (1955) 1:03:42 Ordet (1955) 1:04:17 Pather Panchali (1955) 1:04:57 Seven Samurai (1956) 1:06:25 The Searchers (1956) 1:07:25 A Man Escaped (1957) 1:08:27 The Cranes are Flying (1957) 1:09:08 Touch of Evil (1957) 1:09:51 Vertigo (1958) 1:11:22 The 400 Blows (1959)

The 1960s 1:12:53 Psycho (1960) 1:13:42 L'Avventura (1961) 1:14:39 Lawrence of Arabia (1962) 1:15:35 La Jetee (1962) 1:16:10 Vivre Sa Vie (1963) 1:17:17 8 1/2 (1963) 1:18:04 It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963) 1:18:50 The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964) 1:19:26 Woman in the Dunes (1965) 1:20:01 Persona (1966) 1:21:08 The Battle of Algiers (1966) 1:21:52 Andrei Rublev (1966) 1:22:42 Playtime (1967) 1:23:18 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 1:24:28 Kes (1969) 1:25:23 Once Upon a Time in the West (1969) 1:26:25 The Color of Pomegranates (1969) 1:27:07 Army of Shadows (1969)

The 1970s 1:28:25 The Conformist (1970) 1:28:53 A Touch of Zen (1971) 1:29:37 The Godfather Part I & II (1972-1974) 1:30:37 Pink Flamingos (1972) 1:31:45 The Spirit of the Beehive (1973) 1:32:39 The Exorcist (1973) 1:33:08 La Maman et la Putain (1973) 1:34:22 Badlands (1973) 1:34:53 The Conversation (1974) 1:35:32 A Woman Under the Influence (1975) 1:36:45 Jeanne Dielman 23 Quai du Commerce 1080 Bruxelle (1975) 1:37:52 Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) 1:39:05 Nashville (1975) 1:39:40 Jaws (1975) 1:40:47 Barry Lyndon (1975) 1:41:17 Taxi Driver (1976) 1:42:28 Eraserhead (1977) 1:43:37 Stars Wars (1977) 1:44:41 House (1977) 1:45:09 Alien (1979) 1:46:22 Apocalypse Now (1979) 1:47:32 Stalker (1979)

The 1980s 1:48:43 Raging Bull (1980) 1:49:33 The Shining (1980) 1:50:27 Pixote (1980) 1:51:10 Koyaanisqatsi (1982) 1:52:08 Videodrome (1983) 1:52:32 Ran (1985) 1:53:27 Come and See (1985) 1:54:23 Tenshi no Tamago (1985) 1:55:23 A Short Film About Killing (1988) 1:56:20 A City of Sadness (1989) 1:57:24 The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover (1989) 1:58:31 Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989) 1:59:42 Do the Right Thing (1989)

The 1990s 2:00:54 Goodfellas (1990) 2:01:48 Close-Up (1990) 2:02:49 A Brighter Summer Day (1991) 2:03:51 Man Bites Dog (1992) 2:04:42 Hardboiled (1992) 2:05:43 Satantango (1994) 2:07:12 Pulp Fiction (1994) 2:08:28 Clerks (1994) 2:09:34 The Lion King (1994) 2:10:21 La Haine (1995) 2:11:25 Cure (1997) 2:12:00 Festen (1998) 2:12:54 Beau Travail (1998) 2:13:27 Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999) 2:14:22 The Matrix (1999) 2:15:10 American Movie (1999)

[ashen-char]

I'm obsessed with the idea of ani joining in the conversations about partners and bringing reader up like "they never let me cook! which is sweet but i want to cook too!" or "they drool a lot when they sleep!" in a innocent way not thinking much about the fact the other girls are talking about their partners and she just started yapping about reader like they're together.

I just know the fact she always brings reader up in partner conversations makes them even more confused when ani drops the information she's married and it's NOT with reader, like they're happy for her but 'what does she mean she's not with reader??' Yes, they tease her and joke about it but they fr think there's something going on with those two.

reader likes to sit close to anora when she's playing, they're reading a book or doing something job/studies related, stuff like that. They just like being around her either they have her attention or not, they just feel this comfortable aura coming from anora whenever she's close, she's home. You'll giggle about her getting mad at villagers and then ani looks at you annoyed because 'you're suppose to be on my side!' and you're like 'sorry, got to a funny part on the book...' and you're reading the saddest and most tragic book ever.

I think later on reader introduces ani to one or two more violent games where she can kick people's asses! probably Mortal Kombat, she'll definitely play this type of games when a client/her boss pissed her off badly on that particular day and she needs to punch someone to calm down, even if it's on a video game it helps her a lot! But she likes more the cozy games like animal crossing, stardew valley, even the sims (her favourite is the sims 2 because of all the attention to detail the game has).

You once tried to make her play an horror game (resident evil, until dawn, silent hill, amnesia) and she tried it, she really did but after some time she was like 'nop! I'm done! put my animal crossing NOW!'

About ivan, like I said his parents are to blame for a big part of who he is today but he's 21 already and that's old enough to at least KNOW not to leave your wife alone when she's fighting for a future with you against 3 MEN DOUBLE HER SIZE! like if you care about her and her safety you either runaway with her or you stay there with her! That scene is what makes me think that anora cares about him but he doesn't care about her or at least not as much, you know?

YES! There's nothing wrong with wanting to have fun and be free, you don't have to be serious all the time like life's too short for that shit, but the fact he doesn't take anything serious, never thinks before doing a joke or just the way he treats people bellow him (maybe besides anora) lacks sense, maybe even empathy, like why yell as a joke at this staff member who's apologising already for not having the room ready because 1. THEY DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING! and 2.BECAUSE IT WAS BEING USED!! it's a terrible joke, it can make that poor person lose their job if their superior happens to walk by, it lacks touch with reality too!

On the coke scene: if he had taken too much coke, mixed with the alchool and probably other drugs that shit could lead to his death or a coma! toros and garnick aren't stupid, they very likely know that ivan is using drugs and shit like that but if they don't know how much he has done/where he is how are they suppose to help him if it goes wrong? they are there to keep him alive, to keep him in line too, but mostly to keep his ass alive! You don't have to be serious 100% of your time but you also can't be 100% of your time acting like this petulant kid. ivan strikes me as someone who doesn't want to be treated like a kid and wants to be free but he hasn't shown any sense of responsibility to be able to take care of himself alone, like he can still have a kid spirit and be responsible AND sensible towards other people.

Oh i don't think he would even bother to ask anora about her past because like you pointed out he only calls her ani, she only started existing when ani did too. if ani did try to talk to him about it, open up about her past and stuff he wouldn't pay much attention, too distracted playing video games or on his phone. He would be like one of her friends boyfriends she heard so many complains about, you know?

it's a cute assumption but now I'm a little disgusted with it because of what I know... so embarrassing to me! i think with ivan she tried to keep it as much fairytale-ish as she could so she also tried to be a fairytale character, maybe because she felt the need she showed him her true self he would leave, while with igor she didn't want to/felt the need to put up a character, because he wouldn't leave since he understands her struggles.

I do agree that I prefer igor and ani over ivan and ani, like there's somehting more realistic about them, more personal and more 'honest-ish' for lack of a better word to express what I mean. I think ani needs someone a little more serious and responsible than ivan but also someone who can be carefree and I think if we had more time we could see igor being carefree around ani.

Anora only deserves the best and whatever or whoever that is I hope she's happy and at peace!

HELLO I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAVE THIS ASK FOR SO LONG it kept cutting off when i tried to answer on mobile (which i was restricted to at the hospital) and eventually i decided to leave it until after i actually watched anora and had more formed thoughts!

ani's got a good rapport with the girls at HQ (barring diamond obviously). with how they flocked to see the fight, i bet they're pretty nosy too, listening intently to pick up on clues of if reader and ani are together. they'd have bets on it. lulu (who's basically the captain of the reader x ani ship) would scoff if anyone said reader's just ani's best friend, offended because obviously she is ani's best friend thank you very much.

sometimes when lulu invites ani out after work, ani says that you two have plans, excitedly yapping about how she's planning to decorate your shared sims' house or the ccs she downloaded. and lulu has this knowing look, cause that's so domestic? sweet? calm? not something ani would find fun if you weren't the one showing it too her. like, lulu finds ani in their backstage/changing room area on her switch, doing her daily fruit foraging in her ACNH island, probably cussing out tom nook for upping the house fee when she JUST paid the last one off. lulu knows all of ani's smiles and the ones about you/something you showed her are different to her performance smiles, to her flirty customer service. they're even different from when she's bragging about what a catch ivan is, about his mansion or how much he likes her.

how much he likes her. never the other way around. any other girl would be half in love with how vanya splashes out his time, attention, and cash. even if ani hasn't realised it herself, it's because her heart's already occupied with reader. imagine ani being away for that first week, apologising over and over to reader cause they already made plans while you just tell her it's ok. and then the next two weeks of their marriage, ani was happy and swept up in the excitement but also... restless? missing you? she busied herself with polishing up her russian, in the lavish new wardrobe and new life. in the dark of night wondering when it'll make her as happy as a simple day with you.

ivan's actually pretty interesting now that all the clips have context. he didn't run to not be caught, but more so to take in all the fun he could before he was whisked back - hitting up all the clubs, getting so drunk he wouldn't worry anymore. he didn't even plan to leave ani, fully wanted her to run with him. it was more... "consequences? what are those? boringgg". didn't wanna talk about his family, didn't wanna hear a word of reprimand from his parents, considers anything that isn't having fun as unnecessary. and especially him thanking ani for making his last trip fun as if he didn't ask her to MARRY him, when she was sceptical in the first place and told him not to tease her! she made sure he was sincere multiple times and he strung her along, pure and simple, knowing his parents wouldn't let that happen. knowing that he wouldn't actually fight his parents for it/for them.

gonna write some thoughts on ivan on another post this is getting too long and tbh i was more focused on anora :P (basically he's all about freedom and even argues back when they make a comment about him possibly marrying a man). the marriage was a fantasy to him, as is america, it's a freedom he won't actually pursue at the end of the day. not when being under his parents' thumb is easier. him being treated like a child is actually a privilege. ani's only two years older and knows so much more of responsibilities, of what it takes to earn and own things, of consequences. all vanya has to do is simper and follow his mom, childishly asking if her clothes are from the new collection rather than listening to her beratement.

i feel like if the marriage didn't collapse because of his parents, it'd be whenever ani decides she's had enough of the partying or the smoking and watching him play games. he asks about her parents, and she even offers to let them meet or go meet her sister. she wants to go to disneyworld for their honeymoon. but vanya would be the same vanya. show up drunk and blazed, embarrassing her in front of her mom and stepdad (while she covers his ass and lies "oh i swear he's not always like this, he's just tired"). ruining her childhood dream by letting his friends crash their honeymoon and trash the cinderella suite. she'd realise that this isn't perfect, that it isn't sustainable. it's fun, yes, ivan was right that they'd probably still have fun together if he wasn't rich. but imagine them going through the paperwork of getting that green card, of her trying to make him take it seriously so he can stay. applying, appointments, providing papers and proof... vanya would groan and act like ani's dragging him to do this. and he'd offer ani hits from his bong like he did to klara, never thinking about if something's the right time.

to contrast a relationship where ani would have to be the mature one, ani is notably different with igor (obviously). even if not romantically, having someone there that she can freely bitch at, let out her tension on, that accepts her moods must feel freeing. all these masks she puts on, be that at the club, or the perfect wife for vanya/his family. she's got her barbs, she's allowed to be prickly and abrasive and say whatever comes to her head. igor will laugh it off. she softened near the end (not the end end, i'm sure there's a lot of thoughts on that) when she brought him that blanket. wordlessly sharing blunts or taking the cig from his mouth, smiling when he laughs at a joke she slung to hurt his feelings. he doesn't just take it either. he asks why she says these things about him, asserts that he isn't (a gopnik, a f-slur ass bitch, a drug dealer, a rapist etc), but doesn't get mad at her for it. when toros or galina says "no, that didn't happen", it's to shut ani up, to not listen, to prove that she doesn't have a say/doesn't have power in the situation. when igor says it, it's on equal grounds-that he had to because he was genuinely scared about ani and that he didn't want her to hurt herself. AND after apologising multiple times, rather than jumping to "i didn't hurt you". it was "you were never in danger of being harmed".

[whencyclopedia]

Kievan Rus (862-1242) was a medieval political federation located in modern-day Belarus, Ukraine, and part of Russia (the latter named for the Rus, a Scandinavian people). The name Kievan Rus is a modern-day (19th century) designation but has the same meaning as 'land of the Rus,' which is how the region was known in the Middle Ages. The Rus ruled from the city of Kiev (also given as Kyiv) and so 'Kievan Rus' simply meant "the lands of the Rus of Kiev". The Rus are first mentioned in the Annals of Saint-Bertin which records their presence in a diplomatic mission from Constantinople to the court of Louis the Pious (r. 814-840) in 839. The annals claim they were Swedes, and this is possible, but their ethnicity has never been firmly established. The story of the arrival of the Rus in the east is first told in the Primary Chronicle (also known as the Tale of Bygone Years, c. 12th century) of Russia. This work relates how the people of the land invited the Rus (identified as Scandinavian Vikings) to rule and maintain order in their country in the mid-9th century CE. Three brothers, including one named Rurik, accepted the invitation and founded the Rurik Dynasty which would last for over 700 years. This version of events is supported in the present day by historians who are labeled 'Normanists' (those who accept a Norse origin for the Rurikid Dynasty) and is challenged by so-called 'Anti-Normanists' who argue for a Slavic origin of Russia and the other states. The Normanist claims are presently considered more valid and it is generally accepted that the Norse leader Rurik (r. 862-879) founded the dynasty which would endure, in an unbroken line, through the reign of Ivan IV, first Tsar of Russia (r. 1547-1584) also known as Ivan the Terrible. The state of Kievan Rus fell to the Mongols between 1237-1242 CE, breaking the region in pieces which eventually developed into the modern states of Belarus, Russia, and Ukraine.

[unhinged-domestic-raccoon]

Miraculous Rewatch Where I Overanalyze Everything: The Bubbler

Man, I was eleven the last time I watched this episode. Season one was still airing. My fifth grade teacher was a fan of the show and put it on in class as a Friday treat and my life has never been the same since.

I wanna start by saying that the soundtrack for this show is extremely underrated. I love that it shows it's anime roots by being all techno instead of more classically superhero. It may just convince me to finally watch the movie.

continued under the cut:

Ah Marinette being clumsy! When I was a kid I was mostly just annoyed by this (possibly from the secondhand embarrassment), but I actually found her clumsiness very charming in this episode, and I hope that continues. She's just such a failure at existing and it's very endearing to me.

NO WAIT I FORGOT THIS WAS A THING! Chloe and Sabrina are actually frequently paralleled by Gabe and Nathalie in the show! I think it's an important detail to recognize! It shows that Chloe and Sabrina's unhealthy relationship really is just modeled after all of the terrible adults they're surrounded by, and that this includes Gabe and Nathalie! The Andre/Audrey and Andre/Roger parallels may be more relevant, but the Agreste household only exacerbates the situation. They really don't have any good examples in their lives, which is how they got to be as dysfunctional as they are.

I think it also does some lifting for framing Nathalie in a more sympathetic light and Sabrina in a less sympathetic one. Nathalie has just as much care for Gabe as Sabrina does for Chloe, and Sabrina is just as much of a willing accomplice as Nathalie is. Those parts of their characters are frequently overlooked, and I think this is a good reminder!

I'm gonna use this as a moment to note that the writers fully managed to instill the sheer awkwardness of being a teenager into Marinette. I (aromantic) was sitting here going "why is she hiding her crush from her mom? What's the purpose? Oh wait, all my friends hid their crushes from their parents in high school just to avoid getting lovingly teased. Right." And for all the stress Marinette gets put under as the show continues, I honestly don't think this ever changes. She really does just encapsulate the feeling of being 15, and I love her for that.

HANG ON, I didn't realize they were doing alternate expressions for Marinette's transformations so early! The only other example I can recall off the top of my head is Angrybug in Psychomedian! I'm gonna be keeping a counter now!

Marinette. Honey. You just came bursting out of your house as Ladybug. This is season 1. Remind me how nobody but Felix (and Luka I guess but he cheated with time powers) has put together her identity yet?

Y'know, for all the fandom jokes about Adrien having a skewed idea of normal. . . he knows his life is depressing and his dad is not a good parent. His dialogue here is (sarcastically) "Wow. That was a birthday lunch break to remember." Even way back when he was just so depressed. Poor dear has been doomed by the narrative from the start.

And here, you can see Plagg in his natural habitat, encouraging Adrien to be selfish and being my favorite character in the show! I probably won't bring it up again too often, but I just wanna make my Plagg bias clear from the start. Just so we're all on the same page.

Hey guys, remember when Chloe was smart? Cuz I do and it's a big reason why I like her so much! This episode is a great example. She knows exactly what to say to Nino to manipulate him in to doing what she wants. She isn't an idiot, she's actually pretty good at reading people. She's just also loud and has a short attention span/one-track mind.

Ivan, I fully respect your right as a fellow introvert to glower on the wall at The Function, but that is a whole supervillain. The Hawkmoth issue is well established at this point in time, you have got to know this isn't a good idea at this point. Actually, that's an interesting thought. Do we think Ivan is maybe less afraid of akumas because he was the first and knows what it's like? Something to look for during this rewatch!

This is during Ladybug and Bubbler's fight about adults, where Ladybug's dialogue is "Kids need adults! [. . .] Adults keep children safe and protected, they care for their kids, they love them!" I wanna draw your attention to the fact that while everyone else during this scene looks sad or scared or exhuasted and is largely checked out of the conversation (they just wanna get their parents back and go home), Chloe is not! She instead looks confused and is very invested in the back and forth these two have going on. Wonder why. Surely it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that Chloe has never experienced any of those things from an adult in her life! Moving on.

Here, we can see that even at the height of the status quo with no crazy extraneous circumstances driving a wedge between them, LadyNoir still had problems in their dynamic! Chat is already fully relying on LB to *tell* him when to use his cataclysm, but in return, she's all too ready to boss him around. That's an interesting hurdle to explore in their relationship!

Ugh, I don't miss this. When Miraculous designs hit, they hit hard, but when they don't? We're stuck with the face-melted-on, Adam-West-Batman-Villain looking bald cap. Also, Gabe, those are literal children you are monologuing about crushing and destroying? I've seen talk about how his mental state got worse with time, but uh. No, I think he was just as bad from the beginning.

I don't talk enough about how much I love the core 4 of Miraculous, and this is my apology for that! I love that Nino and Alya show affection for their spiraling mentally ill bestie with exactly the same shoulder touches, it's too cute.

[cherlawa-panna]

What does Bobbi think about Barney?

Bestie I have terrible news for you. There is not much interaction between Bobbi and Barney because Marvel are COWARDS.

They interacted only twice and they didn't even had any real conversation ;") But don't worry, I can give you the crumbs😘

Bobbi wasn't around when he "died" so the only things she could know about him is from Clint. We know that she knows of Clint's childhood, as he shares this with her in Solo Avengers (1983) #1.

He basicslly tells her about their life with their parents, their time in the circus, and Barney leaving and yada yada. This is the run that features the infamous panels of Barney yelling at Clint about money or manipulating Clint to do his chores. So, her impression of Barney probably wasn’t too great, to say the least lol. But she didn’t comment on it. Her reaction at this was just:

So the topic quickly disappeared. Clint ranted about his trauma and she was like "why are you telling me all of this NOW?!" Which is fair, since she only asked him about his sour mood and he began to tell all of his tragic backstory without any hesitation lol.

Anyway, let's go back to Bobbi and Barney. They first met in New Avengers (2010) when Barney was in Dark Avengers formed by Osborn. A lot of things happened there, but the only thing you need to know is: Osborn kidnapped Steve Rogers and after that, it was revealed that Skaar, a member of the Dark Avengers, was secretly working as a double agent for Captain America. So, he had a big fight with the DA, which alerted The Real Avengers™️ .

And of course, the real one kicked their edgy version's asses.

And that’s the entirety of their interaction. Bobbi didn’t exchange any words with Barney—unless you count kicking his ugly face as a form of communication. However, Barney was aware that she was his brother’s ex-wife. That said, it seems he didn’t get the memo about the "ex" part.

It’s kind of amusing, considering Barney missed both Clint’s wedding and his divorce, so where exactly did he get this information? Did Zemo give him a PowerPoint presentation summarizing Clint’s life when he was "dead"?? Or maybe Clint ranted about his love problems when visiting Barney in jail?

Anyway, we have other matters to care about right now. I’ve wondered for a while why Bobbi reacted to seeing him with a such angry “you”. It’s never really explained, especially since Barney didn’t do anything particularly evil during this run. He mostly just chilled, maybe fought someone once or twice, and that’s about it. Honestly, he was pretty useless. He didn’t even join Osborn in kidnapping Steve! But probably, she just assumed that he was part of it, which is fair.

Maybe Bobbi was just pissed off with the whole situation—having to deal with the Dark Avengers nonsense to save Cap only to discover that her ex-husband’s brother, who tried to kill him and was supposed to be dead for real this time, was also part of this mess. She seemed pretty done with this shit later, so I don’t blame her. Also, I have to say, watching her kicking him was amazing.

I’m not sure if Bobbi even knew that Barney was supposed to be dead again since Clint wasn’t in this run. In fact, I don’t remember Clint being in any comic during the time this run was releasing new issues. Maybe Bobbi had to break the news to him about his brother faking his death to be evil again. Unless he found it by TV which would be funny and painful. Or maybe she didn't know, maybe she thought that Barney ran away from the hospital or something.

After that beating, Barney gets arrested and disappears from the story entirely. He doesn’t show up again until Dark Avengers (2012), but Bobbi doesn't appear there. Honestly, that’s probably for the best because Dark Avengers is an absolute mess.

But hey! They interact again in Hawkeye (2012).

That’s the only time Bobbi even acknowledges Barney. After that, she focuses on discussing about Ivan with Clint, while Barney sits off to the side working on crossword puzzles out loud. To be fair, she had bigger things to worry about than the guy whose ass she kicked suddenly getting a redemption arc. She’s basically like, “Okay, anyway—” and moves on.

And that's everything. But there’s a little thing I can mention: Barney and Clint mentioned Bobbi once.

I love how Barney is like, "I know I threataned to kill you and added to your mountain of trauma blah blah. Get over it already you baby. You're not special"

So, unfortunately, that’s all we get from the comics. I’m salty about it because THERE’S SO MUCH POTENTIAL HERE, YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE. They both know each other only by Clint's stories and the beating in New Avengers and I wish we could see them interacting more. They wouldn’t exactly be friends, but I feel they’d still manage to get along somehow because they have better things to do than thinking about what happened before 💀

[squirrellypoo]

Ep8 "What Can The Damned Really Say To The Damned" rewatch thoughts (Part 1)

On my third rewatch of the first episode of season 2, I noticed a ton more than I had before. Whether that's because it was on a brighter tv screen, or just that my initial buzz had stopped overloading my cognitive functions, who knows.

In any case, here's my first 10 things I missed!

Just after the massacre of soldiers at the checkpoint - Louis spits something out as they walk away. Did he also help kill them? Is that a tooth or something? I love the idea that Louis is doing a lot more human hunting that he ever lets on...

2. “Or is it the sleep of an infant? Tabula rasa” - I had to look up this term because I'd not heard it before, but it's roughly the philosophical idea that babies’ minds are born as a blank slate. (Wikipedia)

3. Just before Louis complains that he’s cold, you can see that the bonfire is using a dead soldier as fuel. Additionally, he's talking about his refusal to burn Lestat as they huddle around it (nice touch, sicko writers!).

4. Obviously I knew that the "Huns" were German soldiers, but I wasn't sure what “Beasts of Ivan” was referring to... Russian forces? Or Ivan the Terrible (Treblinka guard)? TBH, even after googling, I'm still not entirely sure.

5. Oh god the skeletons of the vampires they discover - Louis and Claudia don’t know to scatter the ashes so their souls are still likely trapped in there?? 😭 (See also: Daciana after the fire…)

6. The Dubai staff member taking Louis’s blood dish away is wearing a face mask and gloves but Real Rashid is wearing gloves but no mask… Who do we know that did that in season 1, eh?? 👀

7. Now, this might not be anything but I thought it was interesting that you can see Louis’s breath in the sequence with Hallucistat (whose breath you can also see). So does that mean he's fed recently to be warm enough to do so? There was a great story on the Truest Blood podcast where the actors talked about needing to suck on ice cubes so that their breath didn't show up on camera, and that detail really stuck with me.

8. Louis says “I had taken 7,000 souls by then.” Ok, let's do some maths - 7,000 divided by 35 years is 200 per year, or 3.5 per week. That's roughly one murder every other day, which seems like a lot for someone claiming to be a vegetarian?? Like, was he killing several a night in the early years with Lestat (the "blood-drunken night in Baton Rogue", for instance), and for the past several years with Claudia? Sure, we see him bite a rat here, but he's clearly killing more than he wants to admit to himself...

9. The little boy that Morgan bribes with a cigarette to take Claudia away from adult conversation - his name is Andrei. Book readers may remember that this was Armand's given human name. (I don't think it means anything, I just think it's a nice touch from the writers, and they might change this in the show to be something more appropriate to his background)

10. After Louis remembers that Emilia mentioned about the woods after Claudia left, Armand suggests Louis takes a break. Daniel then goes on a rant to Real Rashid, ending with “You I can fucking break!” Louis dismisses Rashid, but then then Armand immediately follows him out of the room. What was Armand following him for? What was he saying to Rashid?

Part II coming up! Let me know in the Notes if you also missed any of these...

[apeninastory]

ivan as a tragic-love character (pt.4b?)

first post HERE. i have been writing this thing since nowhere came out - 3 times listening to it and i was hooked and obsessed and you can't even imagine how much i'm dying to listen to it again.

anyway. wanted to get the preparatory posts out of the way before nowhere comes out again, so here, take part 2.

it was getting too long, so i split it. let's get going!

6] the making of ivan's character - a story by ivan

so, ivan as a social being functions thanks to his mimetic strategy, and with this, he starts to learn things on his own, of course. he probably puts labels on his emotions, one at a time, the more he experience and feels like he understands them. it's just that not all of them are correctly intended. let me underline this: ivan learns abt emotions from little kids, aliens, (alien? human?) classic literature, and absorbs it all through his own perception and understanding of them. no one tells him "this is right, this is wrong" (or those who do may not be super reliable?) + he is numb to most sensations, so not even the way he perceives them can be fully trusted in his learning process.

being unable to completely comprehend what he feels since he has no reliable models/source material, he can only: (1) trust what he does have and label his emotions accordingly, categorizing for examples things like friendship, satisfaction, hunger, vitality, tiredness, fear as "easy" to recognize, as monolitic and unchangable sensations following certain events/actions/reactions (2) stare at what he doesn't find in his "manuals" until it either goes away or becomes comprehensible or (3) he has to coexist with the unfathomable emotions and his inability to fully understand it, disassembling it slowly.

consequences: (1) emotions he has labelled are reliable only partially, as they may be more complex than he believes, so he files other traits under different labels without realizing that many feelings comes with multifaceted elements - so what he knows is not necessarily wrong, but may be incomplete. (2) what he doesn't understand elicits frustration, so he either misplace the emotions in his labelled list in his haste to categorize them or just... lets the be and avoids situations where he is forced to confront them (his rhetoric must be terribly good to fend off emotional attacks! i can see that in him). i kinda like this latter possibility better, maybe as an unconscious mechanism of ivan's part. (3) he is attracted by the idea of decomposing certain emotions he doesn't understand, even if it is not a pleasing experience.

all this makes ivan super good at reading the room, perceiving shifts in mood and behaving accordingly. it derives from his survival instincts + everything he learned to better adapt and survive at anakt. ivan is to me someone who prefers and is good at being in control/having control over himself and what surrounds him - not necessarily in a i-want-to-control-people-around-me way, but like, he wants to be sure that whatever surrounds him (people, things, event) has no secrets for him. he may have a... superiority complex of sort (?) derived by the total lack of control he had when he lived in the slums. the better control he has over things that influence him, the more stability he can achieve.

the art vivimeng posted abt ivan and sua's interaction, with ivan laughing at sua for being as twisted as he is and becoming a trauma for mizi? yeah. he talks as if he has it all figured out (and he is right, there is logic in predicting how sua's sacrifices will end up being a burden for mizi, in his eyes), but we are meant to perceive more. ivan affirming this with such certainty might mean he needs the affirmation, like he is rebuking sua out of spite for something - envy for being at the receiving end of mizi's affection the way he'll never be with till? mh. and of course, we know what he'll end up doing because it's different for him, since till won't miss him.

BOY.

ivan is a subtle, manipulative-freak with slight drama queen tendencies (only regarding more superficial, known-to-him emotions - the rest, he bottles them up reaaal good), so he carefully build his own character. a boy with a tactical, handsome smile, great student, good at everything, a bit annoying but funny to be around, diligent and a teaser, with big-brother vibes. someone who can be perceived as popular in anakt and can easily attract attention outside, a benefit for unsha's investment on him.

the facade works like a wonder - though, not on sua and till, in different ways. sua sees through it, and ivan feels they are similar, so it makes sense that it doesn't work on her. till ignores it and finds ivan unsufferable, probably prefers when ivan doesn't pretend, since he remembers how freaky he was as a child. we know they both enjoy the quite moments with no fights between them, something ivan thought of as one-sided, but it confirms that till likes (not intended in romantic ways) ivan when he stops being annoying and calculative, possibly kinda likes having him around and considers him a friend of sort - albeit a strange one.

ivan isn't quite aware of that, so he probably tries his hardest with till, and the way he is often seen orbiting around him tells us ivan knows that till at least tolerates his presence. after mizi, ivan is the one till grades with the hightest percentage among the people close to him, so even if ivan doesn't fully understand till and what he feels, till still regards him as a friend.

all the way through graduation, ivan cultivates his emotions, both fake and authentic ones. but as we can expect, this is bound to leave holes and discordances in this narrative he writes/lets others write for him.

friendship. he gets good at it, being a good people-reader, but many kids say they don't know much abt ivan. he probably is that type of friend that doesn't share abt himself, so people have the illusion that he is friendly and open and approachable, but when they think abt it, they don't know much abt him at all. ivan himself is surprised to be addressed as "the popular one", saying "it's a first" in his interview, and that he is getting used to the attention. he also says that back in anakt

I've been asked out a couple of times, but I wasn't that popular. I did have a lot of friends, though.

appearance. he is the one with the beautiful smile, but compliments regarding his appearance are strange to him. he doesn't rely on his charm, since "he thinks he has more flaws (ahah)", but instead studies abt the brand he has to work for - again, studying, reaching out for clear models, mimicking and replicating. conclusion: my baby is stunning and not even he can argue against me abt this.

love. he sees till loving mizi from afar and does the same with him, but his nature is far more obsessive and needy, so he orbits closely around till, who fails to understand what ivan's intentions are. and how could it be otherwise? ivan is unclear abt his own feelings without being able to address the existence of that unclearness (or not totally), so it is hard for him to convey them to others (you can't explain what you don't understand/don't know), let alone till, who's incredibly dense and biased (with reasons!) when it comes to ivan.

love pt.2. i've always found it curious that ivan doesn't mention love in black sorrow (i think someone hypothesized he may have not written the lyrics), since we can see how that sorrow may be intertwined with love. also, love is the most stereotypical of the labels he probably came across, and i guess he must have attached it to till, at some point. i can imagine ivan asking himself "what is love?" and looking for clues around him. growing up, he sees kisses, relays to till that everyone is doing that and he wants to try - half teasing, half curious himself, probably.

understanding of himself. he is naturally detatched. he mocks sua for her intentions toward mizi, but the moment he realizes (by observing and imitating) that what she has arouses envy in him, he probably understands he wants the same. he looks at mizi and sua being happy and wants that - though maybe he feels like he is not able to produce the same feeling within himself. does he understand that what he feels is envy? that he desires till's love? probably, but not totally. he acts like he has it all figured out and mouths poor sua for something he'll end up doing too. first step toward hypocrisy.

understanding of himself pt2. what i love abt his character is that despite this whiny, clingy self he decided to role as, he is incredibly closed off abt his emotions - i am very similar, as i tend to voice little things i find annoying and whine abt random stuff but gatekeep deeper, far more problematic emotions. his portray of himself is flawed - either because he can't look at himself objectively, he mistakes people's intentions/feelings toward him or is unaware of certain things. no matter where we put the origin of this, ivan can't be relied upon when he speaks abt himself.

7] the meteor shower thing and how it is a turning point in ivan's narrative

this is such a pivotal moment in kid-ivan's life.

imagine him training his smiles and trying to be more sociable and studying hard because that's what he needs to do to survive at anakt. imagine till being one of the first spontaneous, not-survival-related thing ivan wants for himself and trying to understand how to please till in order to become closer.

he sees till's struggle, his need for freedom, his fighting spirit against injustice. little ivan would have loved someone like him in the slums - a curageous hero, unafraid to vent and rebel, who could lift their sleeping, numbed spirits. till would have probably drawn more harm than good, though, and ivan probably finds him stupid and reckless, totally unable to be relied upon and ensure his own survival, so his days must be numbered, right? how can someone like till even exists in their world? either his light will stop shining or he'll die in an explosion so bright, he'll be forever remembered.

ivan can't help but be intrigued, so he follows till around. baits him into an alien's den and just can't stop looking at till's light. till is just like the meteors he saw when he was taken - he burns, he falls, all in repeat. beautiful.

so he offers till what he thinks till wants - a life far from the pain of anakt, far from fake walls and experiements and forced singing. a life where till can burn and fall to his own accord, a life full of stars, just like the metors witnessing their escape. did he know there would be a meteor shower? maybe that's what he wanted to do - share with till his most precious memory. sometimes i wonder if ivan had to prepare for a long time to make it happen - he probably studied the pattern of guards patroling and looked for safe exits and such, right? do you think he was something like hopeful the entire time, imagining how it would be?

i wanna kms

till rejects it. no hard blame on him *refrain from delving into till's character, hanji, refrain*, but what a hard blow must have been for ivan. maybe a part of him knew it'd end like that - depending on how much he had already figured abt till's kind personality.

ivan almost had him, but he slipped away. till's reaction makes sense to him, probably - why trade the total unknown, the instability ivan knows comes from living on the streets for something secure, even if fake and temporary? there is no guarantee they'll make it out there, either. beside, why would till want to stay with ivan? it all makes sense.

(NO BABY NO IT DOESN'T I'D RUN AWAY WITH YOU TO THE END OF THE EARTH)

but he can't help feeling resentful and angry and disappointed and sad. that's human, even if he doesn't understand completely, even if he thinks it doesn't make sense for him to feel negative abt till's reaction, given what rationality tells him. escaping without till makes no sense for him, either - escaping was for till, not for himself.

this is where the dissonance is rooted.

"ivan" splits in two: on one hand we have the character he has built for himself. on the other, the raw, unknown and unlabelled emotions he thinks he has under control/understands. love is the most emblematic, for us. in ivan's mind, love is the devotion in sua's eyes when she looks at mizi, mizi's blinding smile when she sings and play with sua, till's longing and artistic inspiration stemming from mizi. he observes and mimics and tries to be part of it all.

he does watch till from afar, but can't completely imitate till as he forces his presence in till's space far too often to abide to till's awkward circling around mizi.

his emotion is as twisted as sua's, who wants to gatekeep mizi for herself, but not as soft and innocent as her gaze on mizi. there is something darker and crueller and more violent and obsessive under ivan's controlled affection, something that is psychologically normal, given what he went through, but that fits none of ivan's labels and definitions.

after all, love is pure and light and vessel of beautiful and positive things. although what he feels for till partly adapts to what love is, it is not only that. it's more, it's less, it's bigger, it's hard to convey.

8] hypocrisy and how ivan signed his own emotional doom without really being aware of it

the dissonance grows, even if he doesn't actively address it. he probably forces it down, tells himself "let it be, just go on", like he did a million times in the slums in orderd to survive. it is a well-oiled mechanism. but he has grown comfy in his new life - a life where he doesn't actively have to fend off dangers, since they are inevitable but controlled, so he has time to think and desire.

Realising he loves till probably wasn't immediate - the feeling is there, it's unnamed, and I wonder if Ivan eagerly put the label on it or not (was he relieved? or was he burdened byt it? maybe a bit of both - like, "i am capable of love, but in this environment, where will this lead me?"), and how long it took. from his anakt profile, we know he dislikes ignorance and rudeness (he is so composed, when he has to play his role in society, so aware of what he has to do, so how could he not?), but we can find these traits in till - so it's not (only) that he dislikes them, these traits frustrate him because despite not liking them, they are part of a person he has deep affecton for. again, hypocrisy.

After the meteor shower, nurturing something that maybe was already there, the feeling grows with the dissonance, and with love comes hate. i like the idea of him (usually so in control) unconsciously taking his frustration out on sua in that scene where he accuses her of becoming a trauma for future-mizi, while silently, he wonders what will be of him and till if they will have to face each other.

PART 3

[bittersweetcrusades]

Hi hello! do you have any alien stage fic recs??

i most definitely do!!!

I've only read ivantill until now (cus the brainrot is real) so that's what I'll share here but once I'm done scouring the mizisua tag, I'll definitely return!

links below the cut <3

from ashes by petitfives

vampire till and vampire ivan. ivan is deranged and till suffers per usual. rating: explicit

"This is the face of the dog who has killed so many of my fledglings,” Urak says, snapping Till out of his reverie. “Remember it. It might be the last thing you see.” Till has never liked Ivan more than he does right now. Good, he thinks, as viciously as he can. He doesn’t think his prayers carry any weight, but he stares hard at the saint wearing Ivan’s face and hopes Ivan puts a stake through Urak’s unbeating heart. Or, Till gets turned by a vampire, and Ivan is a vampire hunter.

the silhouette in my peripherals by Anonymous

till in the aftermath of r6. rating: explicit

Ivan is gone, but he is still there. Or: how to haunt a person.

till death do us part (so why are you before me again?) by Aminori

ivan and till reuniting in the afterlife. <3 rating: teen

When Ivan had held his beloved’s throat, felt the pulse of life as his own ended, he had expected to not see Till again. … He had expected Till to live on. Had selfishly wanted it, in fact. But here his beloved was, in his arms, in a place that they were never meant to be reunited in.

And he wasn’t quite sure what to feel, anymore.

(or: Ivan dies. He didn’t expect to see Till again, but he did.)

break a heart, stitch it right back by yamscooper

till being jealous. rating: teen

If Ivan wants to laugh and giggle and twirl his hair at some girl Till has never met before, that’s none of Till’s fucking business. “I don’t think Ivan’s hair is long enough to twirl,” Mizi says. “It’s a figure of speech,” Till bites out.

a certain ivantill fan's origin story by gustavo

somehow luka becomes the #1 ivantill fan. rating: teen

Over the course of his preparation for the much-anticipated Final Round of the hit dystopian drama, Alien Stage, Luka discovers that he might be a lot more invested in his best friend’s love life than he’d expected himself to be. or: the fic where luka somehow becomes an ivantill truther.

breathe again in the world anew by aerivel

more ivantill reunions after r7. rating: teen

Till and Ivan reunite one more time. - “I can’t say I’m not disappointed.” The sound of a deep, gentle voice cutting through the air startles Till enough to bang his head against the tree behind him. Wincing slightly, he sits up and jerks his head to the slowly approaching man in white. “I thought you would win after all,” the man continues, slowing until he stood a few feet away. The man’s attention is stolen by the fluttering of a crimson flower inches away from his foot. Absently, he shifts his shoe and crushes the petals beneath him. It’s enough to spark something within Till. Ivan. It’s Ivan.

your shadow on the wall of my room by ephemeroptera_insecta

ghost ivan haunts till. rating: teen

Till won Round 6. He had his first kiss. He’s one step closer to winning. He’s also, notably, now being haunted. Or : Ivan comes back as a ghost. Till realizes what Ivan has done for him, and the feelings he buried for him out of fear. They navigate life (and death) as a man and his ghost.

what we’re allowed to do to each other’s faces by fakekniferealketchup

ivan lives and till escapes. rating: teen

When Ivan had died, the lens through which Till saw the world had fractured, rearranged, and stuck that way, like a broken bone that wasn’t set. A bleeding kaleidoscope of the past. A dozen years of memories clamored for fresh attention, to be reexamined, to be cut open so they could show off all the terrible wriggling things that had wormed around inside them and eaten them hollow. He couldn’t think of the garden, anymore; only of how stupid he had been. — - — Ivan lives; Till escapes the arena. There's no elegance in their reunion, but there is spit, and blood, and something close to forgiveness.

[like-tears-in-rain-storms]

Scene Parts: 1, 2, 3.

[aleksanderscult]

Metas

Aleksander's jealousy moments:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and the bonus content

Analyzing "Demon in the Wood" (book):

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Analyzing "Demon in the Wood" (Graphic Novel):

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

The Alarkling Winter fete make out:

Part 1 - Part 2

The Alarkling tether kiss scene:

Part 1 - Part 2

Analyzing the only Alarkling scene in RoW

What the Darkling thought/felt about Elizaveta:

Here and here

What Aleksander was expecting about the Sun Summoner. His over-the-years thoughts about him/her and his initial thoughts about Alina

The Darkling is NOT a groomer

Alina rejecting Aleksander's advances

Aleksander's and "Alina's" funeral in R&R

Analyzing the Darkling's "I will strip away all that you know..." line

Why does the fandom handles differently Oomen's punishment by Kaz Brekker and Baghra's punishment by the Darkling

How Aleksander is dealing with grief and how he's dealing with people that are grieving

Was the Darkling that much of a liar as the fandom makes him to be?

My opinion about Genya's s*xual ab*se from the King. Was it the Darkling's fault?

The Darkling was terrible at manipulating (and it was the author's fault)

Analyzing Darklina's first kiss in S&B

Analyzing Aleksander's reaction to Alina's loss of her power

Character analysis: Genya from S&B

What kind of "Alina" did Aleksander want?

Was Aleksander power-hungry or wanted power to use it for the protection of his people?

Other

Some fun facts about the Darkling

More Darkling facts

Ivan appreciation post

My favorite Darkling fanarts

My favorite Alina Starkov fanarts

My favorite Darklina fanarts

My favorite Darkling quotes (no ranking)

Why do I hate Mal (for anyone who is wondering)

A masterpost where Leigh Bardugo talks about the Darkling

My headcanons for the Darkling

Fanmade Grishaverse videos

Book trailer for the Grishaverse trilogy

Ruin & Rising, chapter 15 (The burning of the orphanage scene)

[phaggotetta]

fav first watches of mar '25

(also piling in jan and feb since i'm employed now yay)

ivan the terrible, part ii: the boyars' plot 1946 / house of tolerance 2011 / blight 1996 / red desert 1964 / daguerreotypes 1975 / wanda 1970 / biozombie 1998 / girl with hyacinths 1950 / opera no.1 1994 / repo man 1984

tagging @milfjagger @godardsucks @supermarketcrush @johnwatersvhs @ethelcainsdog if u want lovelies