#its true. they just told me
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dean and cas as literally washing and drying dishes in their kitchen we speak.
#its true. they just told me#dean is washing and cas is drying okay?#also there are cookies in the oven. because#sweet treat o'clock okay#bec speaks#destiel
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taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go ”our perception is warped bc of the age we live in” and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of ”hes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellan” ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
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I just finished rereading LN 3 of the apothecary diaries and I need to ramble for a bit
One of the things that is clear and emphasized a lot in the these initial volumes is how much maomao is scared of accidentally committing an infraction unknowingly and been punished (killed) because of this. That is her reasoning behind wanting clear limits and direct orders, as in her narration she mentions multiple times that that makes her life easier.
Even in situations where the people in higher station are clearly showing signs of affection towards her (I'm thinking about when the emperor pats her head in the labyrinth-shrine), she has her guard up and is still very aware of the image she presents as to not "accidentally offend a noble and get killed".
And then we get at the end of volume 3, where the hunting trip offers more proof than ever that Jinshi is much more important and high up in the chain than she had previously thought, and that the whole situation is VERY messy. And she is obviously resentful and stressed for being dragged into this, because the undeniable truth is that she is the one that stands to lose the most. But still, when Jinshi offers her the ox bezoar she then SHUTS THE DOOR IN HIS FACE and it's such a funny and very maomao way of showing that she is a little bit closer to him and can let her guard down enough to let her excitement for pharmaceutical ingredients consume her necessity to maintain propriety (lest she gets beheaded for being accidentally rude as she always thinks????).
She knows that her own feelings about people are not something she is very in tune with (she knows how she feels about her dad and maybe her sistersand thats about how much she recognizes), so we the readers are not going to get a direct declaration from maomao about how she feels about jinshi. I like then that we get progressive and subtle glimpses of how she starts to let her guard down and feel more at ease in jinshis presence, that she becomes a little bit more rude, outspoken, direct with her observations and conclusions in her investigations. We get to see her talk more and narrate less, and I find it such clever and subtle way to show that she is warming up to him.
#the apothecary diaries#maomao#jinshi#can you tell im feeling normal about this series#ramble#barely coherent#but i just love her so much#she just manages to supress evrything under like 15 layers#she's going to be that last person to realize she actually is so fond of him she cannot think about a life without him#shes gonna enter a room and be like 'i realized i love you'#and he will be like 'yeaa whats new'#you told me to go die in a ditch#that obviously means that you love me'#whos doing it like them#the true freak4freak#the apothecary diaries spoiler#also jinshi is a whole nother problem#like dont ever mistake it#he is not well adjusted AT ALL#its just that his disfunctions complement maomaos so well#theyre made for each other (derogatory)
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came back just to post these. okay bye
#gbf#belifaa#did you get triple zero (summon)? the sanfaa scissoring summon? SSS? i sierotixed it. It was awesome. Everythung in gbf is going right for#e except for the fact that i had to sieroticket it but its alright. just the notion of so much lucilius is just enough to put me back on my#feet again it’s almsot unreal how much lucilius-centric stuff theyve pushed out the past few months. his GBVSR debut. his summon.#Omg when I saw the gbfes fashion show i was a few seconds behind zen and she told me “You wont believe this” and I was like “WHAT? BELIEVE#WHAT? WHAT? WHAYT DO YOU MEAN” and the official lucilius cosplayer walked out in his robes it felt unreal unreal like it was seeing my onl#dreams come true after years and years of being like Theres no way they’d do that. There’s no way they’d make a cosplay for lucilius in his#robes because hes in his void outfit forever. BUT THEY DID…..AND THERE WAS BLOOD UNDER HIS SKIN….AND HIS LIPS WERE GLOSSED…AND HE HAD A LIT#LE BIT OF TAREME AND TSURIME (TARIME) ACTION ON HIS EYES AND EVERYTIME HE WALKED HIS ROBES KIND OF FLUTTERED AS HE SHUFFLED ALONG I HAD TO#SIT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR lay down on the bathroom floor and I almpst puked from how nauseous it made me i was OVERJOYED BEYOND MY PHYSICAL#LIMITATIONS OF HAPPINESS . I WAS SO HAPPY. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN UTTERLY MISERABLE FOR ME AND I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS DEPRESSED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL#BUT SEEING LUCILIUS like this genuinely blew me off my socks . I don’t know if i should be 100% thankful because I’ve been trying to figure#out how to balance my emotional state with the media i consume but#I think i really needed it. thank you lucilius for ending my 2023
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I'll either succeed or I'll learn trying
#I wanna REMEMBER THIS!!!!!!!!#its helpful for me to keep in mind#not failing. learning#learning. learning makes failures into something worthwhile#grimacing as I repeat this to myself#text post#delete later#idk saying it cause it made me be like heh. nice#so idk might make someone else be like hm... nice#so LAMGOMSAGKLSAJGALKGJASLKGMSALKGJ#there is not much thought behind the things I post there's just not really much thought in general#honestly that is not true#I overthing everything. on account of the anxiety#but it's all good#speaking of the doc gave me an anti anxiety med on top of the adhd thing#so that's cool#seems to be working though..#she told me I could up the dose and I might do that in like a week if it feels like hrmm#I asked for all the instructions about starting stopping upping lowering or changing the time I take things#cause yknow. those things matter and I like to experiment to figure out whats best for me#this has nothing to do with the post#also they messed up my order again#i only got 180 books#bro theres 120 more#where are they#give me my books!!! please!!!!!!!1#I'll wait til tomorrow#its possible they just didnt fit on the truck. thats completely reasonable
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vent post
#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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I know your main is smallidarity but what are your thoughts on smalletho? Asking because I'm smalletho main but all the stuff you smallidarity fans create is so lovely that I know ship them too. Wondering what it's like for you guys. Have a nice day!
HIII I like Smalletho!! But you might not be a fan of how I regard it personally haha. To be honest I'm a little bit terrified of smalletho fans because of the specimens I have encountered and heard of so please don't burn me at stake...
I primarily view it as mostly one-sided. This makes more sense if you know of my thoughts about Joel being closeted and combative/troubled at the idea of being into men. He's been weird about Jimmy for a damn long time but he's never enacted on those feelings past jokes he proclaims not to be taken seriously. And then he's put together with this Etho guy in DL, soulbound to him, and because he's all weird he develops a crush and acts more questionably around him and more impulsively in general. And I think Etho would have picked up on it but he's. Etho. His response to everything is oh snap
Etho did do a callback during SL as if he were reminiscing, and he engaged with the "neck kisses" bit and some other less egregious ones, but Joel draws much more attention to Etho and the obsession claims. In fact the neck kisses thing started with Jimmy and yet Joel attached it entirely to Etho and comments on it either to make Etho sound weird or to make a slightly more rowdy joke than usual (Joel is plenty weird with his homoerotic jokes but this one is notably more intimate in a physical sense, as opposed to emotional. Not even the babymaking in ESMP2 compares because he acted like a clown who's never heard of sex before for those). Hmm strange behavior to have chosen to do that... I think Joel's become less insane and mostly gotten over his crush but clearly still likes Etho and Etho likes him too, but in a less weird way. His regard for their relationship to me is so well exemplified by the interaction where Jimmy went "Joel called me babe earlier" to try and prod him and Etho gives the most nonchalant "oh snap" known to man in response. He loves a little tomfoolery though so he entertains the banter
Joel just imo acts so weird about him half the time and then completely deadpan the rest of the time, compared to Jimmy who he has also been really weird about but also grown more comfortable with (but only very slightly because he is a loser) in regards to his feelings. I just think contrasting them brings out my reasoning better haha. I like smalletho as a ship in general and I really like their dynamic, but Etho in more of a mentor role (not that he's teaching much of anything but the experience Joel had with him has probably helped Joel become less homophobic about himself). It's similar to what I also really like about Bdubs and Joel, where I'm not sure I really see it as a romantic dynamic but they're definitely not normal about each other by any stretch of the imagination
#Im terrified because the smalIetho fans I've encountered have tended to be combative about which ship is more deserving#or they've been anti-joelshipping despite very clearly shipping it but exclaiming not to#anyway. my friend once told me about this idea they had#where DL Joel falls into a river and then Eth0 is undressing him and he's very stoic and quick about it but Joel is freaking the fuck out#there is nothing intimate there for Etho he's just like tryna save them both from dying of hypothermia but Joel is weird#sorry felt the need to share because its real and true to me. thumbs up emoji#blabber
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Responding to this post as a separate post because I want to respond to something that I think is beyond the scope/intention of the original post (and honestly the scope/intention of the response in the linked post) but that, like.
I want to respond to it because it's been churning in my head.
Specifically the idea of the Protestant Work Ethic and trying to earn your way into heaven.
Because that's the very antithesis of what the Gospel is.
Over and over, it is made very clear that you cannot earn your way into heaven. (Titus 3:5 and Ephesians 2:8-9 are the ones that come immediately to mind, but there are more than that. (I also like - Romans 4 and the entire discussion about it being faith and not works and especially Romans 4:4-8.)) Literally one of the entire points is that you are stuck in your sin and you cannot get out and no matter what you do, you cannot earn your way in, but God loves you and chose you and wants you, so He paid your debt Himself (Jesus) and is giving you His righteousness - His perfection - because He was the only one who could earn His way in.
God is for you, not against you.
Are there things you should be doing? Yes. (Ephesians 2:10 talks about that, too.) But, like. It's not to earn your way in. It's out of love and gratefulness to the One who got you out of your horrible predicament? And then on top of that, made you a co-heir with Him?
Because it's...He paid for you to get in and then also you got adopted as a child of God? And someone described it once as good works after that being like when a child makes a drawing for their dad and their dad hangs it on the fridge? It's not to earn anything; it's because you love Him, too?
So, like - I want to know where the Protestant Work Ethic went wrong. Why so many people think it's about earning their way when it isn't that at all.
It's a gift. It was always a gift.
#musings#Christianity#dash commentary#and i know with my ocd and scrupulosity i get caught up in trying to do stuff to keep something i could never earn in the first place#but that's - it's so easy to get caught in that trap and it's. not. true.#and the discussion of suffering -> perseverance#man i wanted to talk about this re: nagito too because some of his stuff he brings up at the beginning of chapter 2 twists that too#(it's romans 5:3-5 btw).#but that's a different discussion imo#and it combines with my not liking the conversations that pop up on my dash every now and again about witnessing#and that we're just sending people out so that we can be told no so that we can go back to our in-group and reinforce our in-group#witnessing at its most basic isn't#it actually came up in the sermon yesterday - and one of the comparisons was like#if you invite a vegan or a dallas cowboy fan to a barbecue#you will know who these people are#if you bring up danganronpa around me i'm probably going to go off on it#witnessing AT ITS MOST BASIC is LIKE THAT#but more important?#like this is my best friend and i would like you to meet my best friend?#but also more than that?#it's not...about that#but again#that is a separate topic that wasn't brought up i'm just#spitballing now#sorry y'all this one was sitting in my mind and i just#i don't understand how the protestant work ethic got to this#which is the antithesis of the Gospel#stopping now
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Am I the only one who, when Charles pushed the NightNurse into the ocean, was absolutely with him???
Like, his job is the best the brawns, to protect Edwin (and now Crystal, a human who can DIE) and this person wants to send his husband best mate back to hell and they also have a problem that is causing MORE PEOPLE to DIE.
Guys, of course he did that. He was defending his people and saving lives. It was absolutely not too extreme. The NightNurse was a threat. Angie was a threat. He neutralized them, because that's what his job is!
Was it shocking? Yes bc we know how much he values life. Was it necessary? I believe it was
Anyways I rest my case prosecution may call their first witness or whatever
#this is about dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives#edwin dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#charles rowland dead boy detectives#is it kinning a character if i just AM them?#Edwin had no right saying it was 'extreme' my boy just saved you from hell#Charles would do anything for Edwin#Including actually hurting someone#which is a lot bc my boy would absolutely feel a bit of guilt when killing a fly#its true charles told me himself in a vision
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everytime i sit outside i get visited by a different cat and they lit sit with me for a bit until i go back inside its so funny and cute 😭 (until my own cat complains)
#ive been told im a cat magnet and ig its true#i got visited by noodle lit just now AAA i took care of him when he was a tiny kitten and got lost in my garden#and i looked for his owner the next day and brought him back only for him to break out again and come to me again jbksfk.....#babbles#tbd
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I have a midwestern country Twilight agenda to push so heres my list of things Twi does/experienced from a certified midwesterner
- goes and stands on the deck as soon as there's talk of severe weather rolling in
- "ya know it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the wind chill (winter) / humidity (summer)"
- very large bonfires (like we're talkin doesn't fully go out for days)
- long ass goodbyes (bonus points if it ends with Twi slapping his knee and say "welp 'spose i better get going")
- "ope", "don't cha know", "smells like rain" (not for the wolf reasons)
- any variation of talking about the weather
- way too many miscellaneous story about the hometown (like "oh those trees are in front of the school cause some kids died")
- complaining about the cities™ (bonus points if one city is the 'cake-eater' city)
- complaining about construction season
- complaining about people not knowing how to drive "we get snow every year how do you forget how to drive in it"
- bring your tractor to school day
- everything is a 20-30 minute drive away
- "jeet" (did ya eat), "jever" (did ya ever)
- nosy as hell
- really fast walker
-calls mosquitoes 'skeeters'
#linked universe#lu headcanons#lu twilight#slight modern au for some of my points#idk if the bonfire one is just a midwest thing but theyre integral to my childhood#im so serious he does the knee slap i can feel it in my bones#i swear to god we spend more time trying to leave than being somewhere#ive been told talking about the weather is not this common#PLEASE TELL ME IVE BEEN LIED TO HOW ELSE DO YOU SMALL TALK#real story btw idk if its true or not but thats the story that went around my school#'its hot dish not casserole' and 'its duck duck gray duck not duck duck goose'#i am heavily biased#late night shitpost#moon emissary thoughts
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Shoe was written as a homage to the series creator so he's not prominent as an actual 'character' but god does he mean the world to me. His existence alone proves Engarde is not the heartless frigid maniac he likes to fancy himself to be.
Aside from his pathetic breakdown when faced with the idea of being murdered by Shelly, having a pet kitty is the most effective way to Humanize him - yes he did all of those things, but he also went out of his way to install a cat door to his office so his obviously very young cat could walk in and out of it as he pleases. *I* don't have cat doors installed and *I* am a much nicer person than Engarde was.
This cat is such a small part of Farewell, My Turnabout but oh my god he's my everything.
#Shoe is like 3 months old to me#from the face alone u can tell hes quite young#me writing furiously that both of engardes facades are a huge lie and his true self is a wet paper bag of a man worth absolutely nothing#and even IF you told me he only has a cat to seem soft and sensitive - that sure is a lot of effort put into it then#and its clearly just a common shorthaired cat. a mutt. he has the money to buy a scottish fold and THAT wouldve been a better metaphor#yknow. how theyre cute and look adorable but are actually suffering from huge health problems. so having one is a sign you dont care.#🥩engarde#ANYWAYS#📡 incoming transmission 📡#matt engarde#farewell my turnabout#ace attorney#ace attorney justice for all
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chronic short sleeve over long sleeve shirt wearer Ricky Potts
#its true he told me himself#ricky potts#ride the cyclone#hes just like me fr#rtc#rtc musical#ride the cyclone musical#ride the cyclone headcannons#random rabbles
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looking pretty on the sideline
#studying!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#brock purdy#nfl#49ers#dont @ me abt quality we watch illegal streams over here#hes just sooooooo 🥰🥺😇☺️internally while externally😐#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH😭#sweetie babygirl angel darling#fred likes to come and kiss the crease between his eyebrows away when brock gets too wrapped up in the film hes studying at home#its true he told me#brock just ignores him though LMAO
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@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔
#your reblog surprised me#THREE BUNS SUGURU (STAR WARS ER JUST FOR YOU!)#theyre covering riko or smt and smuggling her places (??)#drawing this i was like ‘oh suguru’s curses in a star wars environment should be robots and stuff#so this suguru is a mecanic (he makes them from scrappy parts people have thrown out#and trash materials (and hard work 😎)#diy pokemon#because what is the cursed energy people are letting out if not junk theyre letting go of#so yeah ; basic geto takes shit and turns it useful#i do realise thats already very generic for star wars (junk robots junk robots!) but like. yknow. this guy takes shit people wouldnt bother#trying to sell. miam. junk of the junk. geto my favourite recycling bin you were designed for a luxurious lifestyle clearly (gege not me!)#(and stuff…………. but im lazy to put my vision in words rn hah..)#gojo’s probably a princess#(let’s not lie. hes basically a prince already (clan heir is a different look on him))#this made me want to write ?.??#problem is i dont remember much about star wars (watched it as a kid (we have the cds) appart from the very basic storyline… i forgot 😔#then theres the jawa’s first appearance cuz for some reason they scared me and i am marked for life (THEYRE JUST SILLY LITTLE GUYS 😭😭))#thankfully i lowkey want to rewatch everything so these issues can be fixed#(unthankfully either way the chance of me writing anything is very slim BUT WE NEVER KNOW RIGHT)#(hashtag diverging your attention from that other older post is it working /j/j)#omg glo i still didnt read balance (i think of it from time to time but im intimidated to read it because i know its right up my alley and#that i will love it and lately idk why but i need to ready myself emotionally to read peak fiction (this is so dumb but its true 😭😭))#my bad im rambling lol#WAIT FUCK SAME THING FOR BUNNY’S RECENT THINGY THAT GOT IN MY AO3 UPDATE MAIL#A LOVE STORY TOLD THROUGH THE LENS OF A THIRD PARTY MY BELOVED#(itsg ive searchef for these types of stories in advanced search before#AND NOW THAT I HAVE SOME BY AUTHORS I ALREADY ADORE .. IM- I SEE THEM BUT. THEIR CONTENTS STAY A MYSTERY. IS THIS MY BODY SUBCONSCIOUSLY FI#FIGHTING THE TEAR LOSS I WOULD GET??? IS THIS MFING [BALLING-MY-EYES-OUT] PREVENTION !? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..!? TCH!)#my bad. ramble again o7 — see ya glo !#wip
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I think it’s such a lovely thought that the stuff you’re going through now is preparing you for the things you want.
#I know I’m sorry this is so insta inspirational post of me#but I love it#just the thought that our hearts are sure enough to know what we want and reach for it#but too stupid to understand what we need to actually be able to receive it#so God prepares us gently through the here and now#however ugly and painful!#Anyway I often feel that I don’t even know what I want and that is its own anguish#but this is still a comforting thought to me#I love when things are true just not how we think and this is kind of the heart of that#you GET the thing you want. it is also a surprise and gives you more than you thought it would#in hard ways and in good ways#I am just reflecting#I told my counselor yesterday that I did overthink everything but also I had a lot of beautiful thoughts in the overthinking#and she laughed and was like ‘yeah I can see that’
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