#its time to actually update my age in my bio LOL

[pinkminimarshmallow]

BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!!!

[neptuniadoesstuff]

My Reference Sheet of Phen 228.

A "censored" Ref of my ver of Phen 228 (Canon) for my Modern AU aka "Branches of a Paranormal Federation".

(What is censored are the faces & the severed limb as those are where the gøřə is.)

Bio (Major):

|| Code Name: Phen 228 | Aliases: "Watanabe Bird", "The Boiled One", Hakunata (Based on strange written letters that look similar to English) | Year & Place of Discovery: 2003, Pennsylvania (By the Ephrata Branch) | Current Wearibouts: Unknown | Other: Was discovered to have other variants of it whom have somewhat similar abilities although with different out comes | Main abilities: Cognito-Hazardous properties (When looked at, can cause quesdocoma & the manifestation of its being, can't be seen by others, only ones who are effected) | Ways to combat the effects: Wear blue-light glasses & earplugs, must be about 5 feet away from the screen at all cause ||

(Btw this is just info the Ephrata Branch has put down, as I'll be putting my own info here based on my head canons & the design/lore I gave Phen myself for this au. Although the Hakunata part is only for this AU & not the canon lore. This includes the design.)

(WARNING INCOMING! BL00D, GUTS, & GØŘƏ WILL BE HERE, PROCEED WITH CAUTION! FOR THESE ARE THE UNCENSORED REFS + FULL BODY REFS OF PHEN 228!)

(Also... Slight disturbing imagery for the reference photo)

The actual uncensored ref sheet & the full body ref. Yeh uh.. they look pretty messed up lookin but it's clear that Phen rlly isn't supposed to look.. Clean.. (Although I am waiting till the simps arrive.. Which I hope they don't-)

Bio (Written by... an outsider aka me lol)

|| Name: [REDACTED] | Aliases: Hakunata (A nickname given to by his sister) | Gender: Interseggs/Genderless (But is represented as male), He/They/It (Or any Pronouns but those are preferred) | Age: 100? (Not sure, I doubt Phen has a canon age-) | Height: Whatever rlly (But is normally like... REALLY TALL-) | Pride: No Idea. I doubt this spirit demon thing cares about being attracted to anything- | Species: A strange hybrid of a human & fallen angel | Family: A child named "Rei" & some other Phens (Example: Kasinoshi or "Priest) | Personality: Somewhat malicious, is a bit obsessive with a certain family, but seems to... weirdly care about his victims? (Idk its a whole bag of worms) | Occupation: Some false prophet frikker idk. Might've been a war criminal from Japan in a past life (WWII) | Powers: Able to give anyone who looks at it w/o protection pseudocoma & sleep paralysis, also able to communicate with anyone who is affected with their "curse". Can fly apparently (But is pretty lazy & doesn't rlly use their phantom arms to fly at all) | Other (aka unimportant stuff): Prob likes torturing a certain family he effected back in 2003, despises kids (except its own), gets very uncomfortable with anything sus (like me), loves stealing & consuming ppl's spines, prob not understanding how modern tech work, might commit a few war crimes here & there (which is a big nono), & is usually seen indulging himself in some Japanese things bcs it reminds him of the old times (Yes even the modern stuff) ||

& here is the Original/Reference Image!

(Update: fix some stuff in the Extra info thing bcs I don't grammar well.)

Credits lol-

Character: Phen 228 (Belongs to Doctor Nowhere aka Silas) (Although the design of Phen 228 not from the original image belongs to me.)

Art: Mine.

Reference Image Creator: Silas Orion aka Doctor Nowhere.

Program: IbisPaint x.

Bubs' TOS: Plz don't repost/steal, trace, or recolor my art WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! If you do, I'll take yur femur and pelvis.. SO, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! (The PNS on my blog's pinned post clearly means "Please No Steal" plz follow that rule.) If you do post my art on anything like yur blog or somewhere else (With my permission) PLEASE CREDIT ME!

[erwinsvow]

What comes after seven? ATE🤭 Your fic (I can’t afford to actually become a jj girl you need to stop) and drabbles were a part of my self care/wind down process and I’m so grateful for your talent🫶

Work was so cute!! I have a few little side quests but today was tutoring (my favourite) he’s the sweetest kid and tries so hard I melt

What do you do? I thought I read you’re a medical student AND you work?? Is it a residency type thing? Either way thoughts and prayers to you that’s so impressive and amazing

On a more serious note maybe this is dumb but I just feel like you’re so kind and I’m sure very busy and you’re just always so quick to answer?? And I’m just always rambling and I feel so bad for clogging up people’s timelines and your page

Your kindness and hospitality (on your blog lmao) is so so appreciated but you really don’t have to!! I love chatting but there’s no need to feel obligated in any way shape or form to keep interacting or anything

I do love that I’m finally making friends in this fandom though so thank you💓

(I’m a cancer)

- 💓

you are SOOOOO SWEET omg. im so so so glad you liked it that genuinely means the world to me <3333and omg being a part of your winding down process stop. i write for myself but knowing others like what i write makes me feel so silly goofy inside. if u ever want a real fic for an idea you have and not just my conversation/drabble reply pls let me know id be more than happy to try and put it into words!

omg that sounds so nice! i used to tutor too we are so linked! im glad it was good😌he sounds adorable! what age do u tutor/what subject? i tutored college bio lol

also yes hahaa so im starting school in the summer and i updated it in advance because ik once it starts I probably wont write as much any more :( rn im a doctor assistant which is ~crazy~ and its 12 hour shifts so once im home it is me myself & i time (hence why i answer so quick, im always scrolling because i dont get to have my phone during work 😞)

you’re not rambling at all i am so glad you stop by to chat!!! it feels so sweet n personal there’s plenty of people following me here n now im getting to know one of them! i love seeing msgs from you! i have been using the tiny text so it takes up less space lol i be rambling talking to you!! & omg please don’t thank me srsly i love interacting🥹 like i said i was always the anon messaging wanting to chat n i just want to make everyone feel welcome. ur the best for sending me msgs! i 🩵 our check ins

also stop… im a cancer moon. SO LINKED. ik you probably saw but virgo sun & taurus rising. hbu??? 💓

also also i posted a bunch of rafe stuff today. would love to know ur thoughts!!!!!!🫶🏽

[idleglowingpixels]

I Started Typing A Regular Post When Oops It Turned Into An Update Post (Mainly about MH-AU & XXY)

Just spent the last couple hours give-or-take on completing Cleo's profile, which I'm excited to be releasing later today! Her post is scheduled to release around noon EDT (I scheduled Lagoona's and it made things a lot easier to post her at a reasonable hour so I'm doing that from now on cause OH MY GOD :'D). She will be the last in the current set of character designs/bios I have prepared.

I have one teensy tiny more MH-AU goodie for Halloween before I get back to XXY full-time (dw I have been working on it in the background, progress has just been super slow cause I'm trying to finish the fic's outline). I will still be working on the MH-AU, don't get me wrong, just not as my top priority cause my PPG followers have been patient enough with me for more XXY content. I do plan on making another series of character design/bios, this time focusing on the mansters since they actually serve a purpose in the fics other than "the boyfriend" (Sorry they didn't do too much in a majority of the movies okay, I love them in the webisodes tho!). And once Cleo's post drops, I'll make a masterpost for the MH-AU since there's enough out now that I feel it necessary; keeps all the lore organized and junk. I'll have it linked in my general masterpost for quick access should anyone need it for reference. If they are updated at all later on, I'll make a post about it.

My current oneshot WIPs for the MH-AU are: - My equivalent to G1's New Ghoul @ School (tbh I might just use that name cause it's so iconic and I can't really come up with anything better lol), which might end up becoming a SMALL multichapter should it require that (3-6 Chapters max). There's a lot that goes on in Frankie's first week, more than the original series of mishaps unfortunately (poor Frankie :'D), and it also sets up a lot of stuff prior to the first week of school for them that I think is super important to their character. - Taking A Lycan To New Salem (Working Title), a short story about one of Clawdeen's human-side escapades gone wrong. (I want to talk about this one SO BAD but alas, it'll have to wait til I finish the fic. I'm already 1k words into it!) And I have several more in mind that I can't wait to write and share. Until then, I'll keep you guys posted!

(Random side note: I had no idea how many of these characters were gonna have a criminal record like holy shit dgfhgsddfg)

---

I've been in a super artsy mood so if I can manage to actually complete a sketch of the team, I really wanna post a drawing of XXY as a whole (I tend to ditch my sketches after 1-2 characters are drawn q-q). I also really wanna draw the "Normie Trio/3" as I call them, consisting of Robin, Mitch and Mike. I eventually wanna draw more characters that get redesigns from age, alterations in the case of the reboot villains, and such, but I think I just needed to get into the art mood again cause now I actually plan to do these things! :D

Also, while progress has been slow, I'm gonna assume from my current status that I'll be able to complete XXY's next batch probably around the end of this year, to be released in January. I'm so sorry to delay its release to January, but please understand I am really passionate about this story and wanna make it the best (and most fun) I can make it. And I'm not gonna go out and say "hey this is exactly how many chapters there'll be," but I might end up making about 70 chapters total including all the intermission/MultiPOV chapters, but that remains to be seen.

I do have good news for you guys, however; considering where the story is headed, I've realized I'm gonna need to throw in another intermission chapter at the end of this batch, with a new character's POV! They haven't shown up yet, and won't until that chapter, but believe me when I say I am VERY VERY excited to write it and I really love this character. The chapter name for them is super appropriate too lol.

While I'm here I'm gonna drop the chapter titles, as they don't really reveal anything. The previous theme was weather patterns, focusing on the coming and going of rain and shine. This one's flowers!

Chapter 8 - Gladiolus Chapter 9 - Hyacinth Chapter 10 - Spearmint Chapter 11 - Coriander Chapter 12 - Hibiscus Chapter 13 - Violet Chapter 14 - Jasmine Tobacco

Hope all the little tidbits I shared hold you guys over and get you excited for the coming months. Thanks as always for your patience!

[ageless-aislynn]

@authortobenamedlater no way, I learned data entry on good ol' WordPerfect! It's the reason why I always turn Word dark blue with the pale blue text, lol! ����Anyway, thank you for the link for Editpad, I'll definitely look into that. Also am not sure about Notepad, I think I've seen it pop up on this one but didn't realize that Win11 got rid of WordPad. I'm not surprised, honestly. They seem to want to make 11 as lousy as possible, at least when it comes to me personally! 🤷‍♀️😉 Thanks again for all of your brainstorming and suggestions, very appreciated!

@shannon-foraker Hi and thank you so much for replying, I appreciate it so much. This has been the weirdest computer issue I've ever had in my 20 some odd years (some of them very odd 😉) of having computers.

I'll try to keep this short because it's a lot. Update: I did not keep this short, sorry. But I tried. 😉 I just wanted to see if there's anything in here that maybe a tech-savvy person has heard of before? Never know what might be a clue.

In Oct, 2023, my Win 10 computer blue screened after 5 years of being rock solid, able to play Halo and other Steam games, could use Vegas to make vids and GIFs, had Word 2003 for writing. I eventually reset it because the BSODs got more and more frequent and that solved the BSODs but caused me to lose the Game Bar that's made into Win10 so I could no longer capture games like before. I could still launch Halo but not other games like Mass Effect: Andromeda that uses the EA launcher. Vegas would not launch. After researching and trying useless fixes, I eventually figured it was just its age and would need to be replaced. We were right at prime Black Friday sales times so that's what I did.

Also in Oct, 2023, though, my dad's less than a year old Win 11 computer ALSO began blue screening for no discernible reason. It was not networked with my Win10 computer, though they share a router. Mine was Ethernet, his Wifi. I scanned them both with everything I could, ruling out malware or viruses. They never share files, USB sticks, anything. Both are Dell, mine an XPS, his an Inspiron. I reset his, fully updated everything, but the BSODs continued a few days later, though for different reasons than before. This remains unsolved. His will work for a few hours, then BSOD. As that he's a very casual user, that's sustainable for him for now (he wants me to focus on fixing my new computer, which I use a lot more than he does his).

The new computer arrived for Christmas. It blue screened after being on for a few hours. I cried like a baby. I feel cursed, honestly. In the roughly a month since then (very roughly indeed), I've reset it 3 times, I've fully updated both Windows and Dell, which caused it to BSOD 8 times in an hour. I reset after that and did NOT update anything, pausing Windows updates which I've now learned doesn't actually pause the updates since this is the Home edition.

A few weeks ago, Dell issued an emergency BIOS update, along with fresh Nvidia and Intel driver updates. Installing those calmed the BSODs but didn't stop them entirely until I realized that using the Chrome broswer was causing Nvidia to lockup. Stopped using Chrome. Can't use Google docs anymore because that froze Firefox (and Nvidia began wailing like a banshee, I'm not afraid to say that I'm literally afraid of this computer nowadays, I would not be shocked if it just exploded in my face one day).

Dell's customer service advice is "apply all updates and if that fails, reset Windows" despite the fact I've done all of that A LOT. The most help I've actually found is from a Dell forum where there are literally dozens of reports of issues like mine. Changing Nvidia's power performance to maximum has helped the issue where the computer would be sitting idle, nothing running, and Nvidia would come on and attempt to make the PC achieve orbit. My God, was that fun to experience. /s

Dell insists there's nothing wrong with the computer and I'm beyond the time period where I could've returned it. So this little ticking time bomb is all mine for however long it has.

Interesting tidbits: Dell no longer sells this particular configuration of XPS. Windows 12 is about to launch in June 2024, not even 3 years after Win11's launch. That seems super soon to me, kinda like the ol' Win8 disaster but with them trying not to SAY it's a disaster. But I could just be projecting conspiracy theories nowadays. It comes from feeling like your PC is just going to freakin' blow your face off one day, I think. 👀

Answering your questions: I've considered putting my Win10 computer back up in place of this one even though it's hampered by a lot of issues. At least I can go back to playing Halo, which I miss tremendously. It irks me, though, to just mothball a brand new computer that was not cheap and was given to me by my dad. It makes me so sad because he wanted me to get something super awesome for gaming and vidding. He's always bragging about his "gamer daughter," lol, and this computer should've been a powerful rig: 64GBs RAM, i-9 chip, Nvidia GeForce RTX 4070 and other stuff that's escaping me at the moment, lol. The couple of times I did get to play Halo on it, my gracious, it looks STUNNING. Played like a dream, every blade of grass visible, just gorgeous.

Then it blue screened. 😑

I've heard of both Linux and Ubuntu but haven't ever seen them in person or know how to work with them. I'm not sure if Steam, Vegas and Word would work with them or if there are some sort of equivalent programs that would? I just looked and there are some games on Steam that will work on Linux.

Honestly, I just want this computer to work, like it's supposed to. I'm just not sure how to get it there. Or maybe there's no way that I can.

PS - Several other people with this issue had Dell send them new parts, one at a time, until they finally completely rebuilt the PC. The BSOD and freezing continued. I really don't think this is a hardware issue, it feels like a driver/software incompatibility instead but I dunno. I'm not tech-savvy at all, I've just done a ton of research while feeling like I'm surfing on a nuclear missile.

At least I was able to write all of this without the Nvidia light (visible through the vent) coming on. That looked so cool at first, now I just freeze in fear when it comes on, waiting to see if we're going to BSOD, freeze or if it's just going to growl loudly at me. Or try to achieve orbit. That was so lousy, I don't want to do that again. 😭

Okay, apparently my Fire tablet and PC are not syncing together, which resulted in me making a high-pitched pterodactyl noise a little while ago when I thought EVERYTHING I HAD WRITTEN IN MY EMAIL DRAFT YESTERDAY HAD DISAPPEARED.

Thankfully, it's still there on my tablet so I emailed it to myself and now I can see it on the PC but DANG is this a clunky, slow and painful way to try to do this. I have a SYSTEM when it comes to writing, frens. Anything messing with MY SYSTEM makes me feel a bit

and even more

Do I dare try installing Word 2003 (my beloved) again? Is it worth it to potentially go back to Blue Screen of Death City, population MEEEEEE or is there something else I'm missing?

Can't use Google docs as my computer already proved. I don't want anything I have to install on the computer *points to fears of returning to BSoD City* but I want something that I can somehow save at the same time. I dunno. I was hoping to get this in really good shape today and instead I'm stuck where I left off and feeling like I'm trying to excavate a hole the size of Mt. Everest with a teaspoon.

I thought about writing in a Tumblr draft or in AO3 itself but either of those has their own perils (Tumblr in accidentally POSTING IT and AO3 warns not to keep your only copy there). Maybe writing in AO3 and email it back to myself when I'm done for the day/writing session?

I just want to be able to use my computer like a COMPUTER again and not have to be so cautious and careful with everything. This is honestly stupid stressful. UGH.

*more angry moth noises, just 'cause*

Update: I'm going to try writing in AO3 for now and saving as a draft/emailing that back to myself. It's better than nothing and feels a little more familiar since I usually do my final editing in AO3 since I can often catch errors in AO3's preview that I missed in Word for some reason.

Still, if you have any recommendations for apps/sites/programs etc you like to write in, I'd like to hear them.

[girlnextdoorcassidy]

Is it hard dating as a transgender woman? Does being a content creator on onlyfans narrow your chances of finding “The one”?

I want to start off by start off by saying my name is Cassidy, I currently live in Upstate New York. I’m 24, pre op and wanted to start answering questions and posting blog updates on my life from my onlyfans and instagram. Links are in bio here for you! 

 So I guess I'll jump right in. The dating pool right now for me at least sucks - well I shouldn't say suck.. there's options hahaha most guys my age aren't on that same wave length as me. *insert squid games music*

 I have found that I've connected better with guys somewhat older than me. Dating or even starting a relationship takes two, and I feel like recently with covid everyone has just been speed dating from being cooped up for so long lol. From my relationships over the years, I’ve only dated straight men, and I know that might be hard for some to wrap their mind around. But I am a straight transgender woman, I've never been with a girl besides the casual drunk makeout in the past. My relationships consisted of ups and downs as any relationship does. I know I got into relationships I wasn't ready for and let myself and my partner down. I wanted that validation and token of saying im someones girlfriend and that they love me and accept me. I would get attached so easily and so fast purely because they accept me. 

Its been a lot of online dating and meeting up, fast paced, hot, steamy, and then fizzles out. I get caught up really easily and its hard for me to retain a conversation unless someone really catches my interest. I must say I love my alone time and seem to like people more from a distance. But I like my cuddles and need attention... so where does that leave me??? All in all I would definitely say say dating as a transgender woman has its challenges, especially where you are in your transition. I also think sex plays a huge role and what a guy is willing to do or try. I know everyone has different levels of curiosity and acceptance. Everyone deserves happiness and if you have-not found it yet just know its within yourself and loving yourself is key. It will shine through. If you're interested I can make another post about how i’ve mastered silky smooth skin with a razor that lasts for days- I never get ANY razor bumps.especially around your cookie. knock on wood. lol or anything to help understand more about dating a trans woman. I’m an open book!!

  I guess I haven't found “THE ONE” so to say, and onlyfans has actually helped me gain some recognition and has helped me connect with wonderful people. I don't think OF narrows your chance of dating.. maybe with a certain type of someone yes. I know OF isn't everyone cup of tea. I love meeting new faces and exploring different paths and really learning about someone and its interesting without any faces or anything connected with their pictures... its a mystery game.. but its just words and like I said I have met some very charming folks that I love talking to everyday and look forward to possibly meeting if the wind takes me there haha. I’ve met a lot of guys that I thought was the one.. but everything happens for a reason and even though my past relationships didn't work out I truly did make a couple lifelong friends and supporters. 

[eightfinity]

Check in tag!

I was tagged by @cheolgyu ty dreamy, I love tag games !! ☺️💖

Why did you choose your url?

so this wasnt my original url I used to be wonboowoo cause I ulted seungkwan (boo) and wonwoo (won woo) but then I started to ult minghao so I added him in to get xuboowoo. I actually only ult minghao in svt now I think but I’ve had the url so long and I still love the other two so I’m not going to change it haha

Any side blogs? If you have them: name them and why you have them.

so not on THIS blog. my last blog before I had to remake had two storage blogs for creations that are still accessible @wonboowoosvt for my gifs and @wonboowoomood for when I made moodboards (maybe I’ll start again?) but since they’re not connected to this blog anymore I can’t update them anymore they’re dead :((

How long you’ve been on tumblr?

uhhhh so 2018 for kpop blogs but like I’ve been on and off using tumblr since like 2012 (personal blogs and sad attempts at aesthetic and manic street preachers fan blogs)

Do you have a queue tag?

I used to use “mind your p’s and queues” but everything sits in queue so I just don’t feel like there’s a point to add a queue tag anymore

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

the biggest part is I wanted to learn how to make and then share gifs within the svt fandom but I also wanted a place to interact with fans peacefully because the only other place I had been doing so was amino apps and people are SIGNIFICANTLY younger than me there for the majority and I had been made fun of for my age and liking kpop before there, tumblr is much more peaceful and friendly (and fck twitter that place is a cesspool I don’t partake in much fandom stuff there)

Why did you choose your icon?

I was trying out themes that let me put pics in the sidebar and I wanted a really cool minghao picture but I ended up picking a layout where the picture is much smaller and when I saw that I was like ooo cool that could be my icon, I wanted a hao icon of some sort

Why did you choose your header?

I don’t have a header here rn but I’m probs going to go back to the header I used on the last blog with a pic of seungkwan and minghao from ideal cut that someone kindly made for me (when I put it up they’ll be linked in my bio for credit, check them out !!)

What’s your post with the most notes?

so since again, this is a remade blog, I’m going to use the post from my original blog that has 3k jun.exe has stopped working

How many mutuals do you have?

if I counted right I have 31 mutuals :))

How many followers do you have?

so my original blog had 2.1k but rn since I’ve remade its 85 😔

How many people do you follow?

right now only 70 blogs, I’m deff looking for more to follow

Have you ever made a shitpost?

probably? idk what qualifies as a shit post

How often do you use tumblr each day?

a lot, I’m on consistently through the day cause I use it and make gifs between work calls since I work from home, I’m trying not to spend as much time on it at night so I can get irl things done and break away from the computer for a bit

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

none that I know the names of, I’ve argued with anons over voting and streaming culture (and will fight anyone on how stupid it is) and I argued with someone cause I said “I’m not a dreamie but this is so not cool” when I saw that video of renjun stuck in the rain without a car to get into waay back (that was debunked I think?) cause they didn’t like that I pointed out I wasn’t in the fandom (my point was that anyone can recognize the situation was messed up and I actually do like some nct dream songs so its not like I hate them)

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

ehhhhhh I kinda hate them? BUT I’ve used tumblr on and off for a looooooong time and seen SO MANY really stupid ones. I guess some political ones are good but idk, I know the intent is to spread info but I don’t see tumblr as an effective platform for that personally

Do you like tag games?

YES !!I really enjoy tag games, they’re usually really fun ways to get to know the other ppl on the platform

Do you like ask games?

ALSO YES !! but I never get asks when I post them waaah

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

uhhhhh I’m gonna say kevin and dreamy lmao y’all make so much content and I know one of your follower counts so I deff would call you tumblr famous (thank you for all you’re creations you guys always make incredible things !!)

Do I have a crush on a mutual?

nope. first dont know anyone my age here who is also male. second I have a boyfriend. third I just care for everyone in a very very platonic friend way no romantic crushes here :))

Tags?

uhhhhh so many ppl are tagged already sooooo hmmmmm I’m not checking who and I’ll mix it up so I’ll just tag @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich @bookwan @heonyz @jeonghanmoon @adorablehoshi @minghaon @kyeomblr @shuaway aaaaaaaaaaaaaand @jung-subins and @seungssik gotta get some victon mutuals in here lol

IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE TAGGED IN THINGS LIKE THIS PLEASE LET ME KNOW !!!

[tylerwritez]

OKAY ANWYAYS its 10:57 p.m. Wednesday June 23

I'm gonna start writing my entry now so that later I'm not too exhausted to actually TALK about stuff.

Yesterday Bee gave me a link to watch Supernatural on my computer so later tonight I probably will.

I'm in class right now, we just had a test on evolution (boring) and I studied some of the book State And Revolution by Lenin (I also took notes) (he's 100 percent correct by the way)

I just had a wonderful discussion with my friend on Instagram XD it was kinda funny. I dont have much else to say Yet. I'm having a coffee and listening to Samaris

I guess that will be my song recommendation for today since I'm listening to it right now XD

Also my parents said yes to letting me go to Jay's house to watch Insidious after school, I just gotta be back for supper! I'm excited abt that... cos he is actually like. The best. So in honour of that or whatever I'm giving yall TWO song recs today... also I dont think I gave one yesterday so here is Jay's fave song XD we gave different taste you'll notice,,, if you pay attention to the stuff I reccomend

Like he listens to old stuff XD he liked this weezer song from my playlist so you get the vibes. WEEZER IS GOOD THO omg thank u K (I'm just gonna call him K) for recommending me weezer! I knew a radiohead fan would give me good music lol.

Actually I talked to K a while ago and told him about how insanely transgender the song Bodysnatchers is and he was like wow so true so I figured I'd tell yall to listen to this if ur trans because like I know everyone's got a #different experience but for me I was like holy Shit this is so trans

Anwyays idk it makes more sense if u listen to the LYRICS.

Please I'm supposed to talk about my DAY now we are onto music oh well I guess it happens sometimes plus I'm bored I hate bio class

Okay so now we have come to the thesis that kinks are contagious wow fun times in the insta chat XD

It's now 4:16 p.m. I'm back from school! Turns out I couldn't go over to Jay's cos he has work :( which made me a bit sad BUT IT'S OKAY! We can always hang out another time you know?

I'm just studying right now for my final exam... TOMMOROW

Update: 8:15 p.m.

I'm out biking. We've mildly vandalized a school, I'll attach images after I remove the exit data... it probably doesnt count as VANDALISM tho like it can easily be washed off.

My sister made some new friends her age and whatnot. Idk, just regular stuff.

Update: 10:43 p.m. I was frustrated while studying because some of the questions are stupid and I'm stupid and I cant remember TWO ENTIRE UNITS so that's fun. I got really upset. Idk.

Also Star is kinda being bitchy. Like, I know shes upset cos I dont give her enoguh attention but like... do YOU give me attention? Like, shes always so mean out of the blue, even if I try to be nice or if I'm BUSY AND NOT IGNROING HER, BUT BUSY... and it puts me off and it makes me not wanna talk to her like what's the point in saying "hey how was ur day?" If shes gonna act like a bitch to me :| I just dont understand like if she wants soemthing she should say it outright and PUT SOME EFFORT in jesus christ.

Sorry. I dont hate her and I'm not mad at her, I'm just fed up! I'm tired!!! Okay??? Am I not allowed to be exhausted sometimes?

Whatever. I mean at least I got to drink monster.

I gotta start dieting again cos I'm gaining weight :( and its upsetting me

Anyways this whole thing with Jay and Star is kinda confusing and dramatic and I'm kinda tired idk. Its MY OWN FAULT but I just want to be able to. Idk. Not hurt anyone. Whatever. It's too late now and it's not really worth trying anymore.

I hope Jay doesn't just totally ditch me when he goes to college... :( I would be so sad... it's a good thing I can spam his number and insta XD

Wish me luck on my final exam. I need it.

And if anyone knows any good ways to avoid cutting myself, TELL ME!!! Because DAMN I really want to go spend all my money on a four dollar knife/steal a knife then SLICE MYSELF UP. SO BAD. jesus.

I think I should just die I'm actually a horrible person.

Update: its 11:22 p.m. and my parents are FUCKING ARGUING AGAIN JESUS CHRIST JUST FUCKING DIVORCE ALREADY. I wish my lil sister didn't have to hear this shit... oh well. I'm already a shitty influence anyways so I guess it doesn't matter.

... have you ever seen your parents CRY? Because I have. And jesus christ it's the actual worst thing ever. Especially if you're young. Especially if it's YOUR fault... Especially if it's over shit you could barely even comprehend because of your age. Money. Shit like that. They LOOK at you with this expression, like a fucking wounded animal. It's the expression of someone just totally fucking defeated. The expression of soemone who is frightened. And its fucking scary, especially when it's your fault.

My mom does this every time she sees I've cut myself again. I hate it. Makes me wanna cut more because STOP IT. she always looks dESTROYED. It's the worst.

Sometimes they argue and fight and shit and they yell at you yell at you Yell at you scare you into submission and fuck having angry parents is terrifying because they're suppsoed to protect you and be understanding and gentle with you, the child, the cattle of the shepard, the egg of the black goat... ESPEICALLY WHEN YOU ARE IN PAIN. Every time you cry they get angrier and angrier, every time you wear what u wanna wear they get angrier and angrier, every time you are ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT THEY WISH YOU WERE... they get angry. You start to feel like maybe they dont ACTUALLY love you. There is a disconnect between what you need and what you are given. What you see in media and what you see at home. You start to feel like shit.

Eventually you learn that if you dont want the head of your favourite stuffed animal twisted off or your sisters barbie doll thrown out the window in a moving car or to be verbally insulted or to have them do SCARY things like make moves toward you before they remember they aren't suppsoed to hit you and just punishment that's emotionally fucking damaging all those words that you remember years later but they don't, every time they tell you they wish you were dead.... you gotta be quiet. Shut up. Do as you're told and don't say a fucking WORD. good boy. Upset? Don't tell them. Don't cry in front of them. Say nothing. Maintain the illusion, it'll keep you safe.

Soon enough your entire life is a secret and you need therapy but can't get it and wow, I wonder why I'm like this? I fucking wonder.

They aren't even arguing anymore but I wish they would shut up because I dont wanna hear their voices its making me ANXIOUS...

Sometimes I feel like I never got to develop past a certain point in childhood. Maybe 5, 10, 3, 6, I dont fucking know. Over 2 and under 10. Like my brain is emotionally stuck there and all of my behaviour is stuck there too. Sometimes if shit hurts me in ANY WAY I just sorta allow the bad hurt to happen. I tell myself, endure. Stay quiet, don't say a word. I've trained myself this way and now it's hard to learn to be loud and talk to people and be my own self without being scared. And part of this... is why I appreciate my friends and JAY. Jay, who always makes sure I'm okay. And everyone I know who likes to drop into my messages every once in a while to see how I'm doing... everyone who never forgets about me.

I'm actually so fucking appreciative of all my friends.

I don't know. I just... wish it was easier to sort out my shit but I guess not

Update: it's now 3:09 a.m. and I'm so fucking tired but whatever. I talked to Jay and it's hard to say much because I'm so tired but FUCK I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM JESUS CHRIST IM IN LOVE?!?!?!!! goddamnit it I just wanna be with him constantly...

Also I told him I was worried and he said, with his cute fucking voice, that I shouldnt worry cos he wouldnt just leave me. And. ThaNK YOU JAY. IF YOURE READING THIS, THANK YOU. Sometimes I get this dude's messages and just fucking smile. Hes the best and I love him. His whole self is a thing of beauty that I admire so much hes so charismatic and attractive and CUTE and I always tell him he's overconfident but MAN if i was that guy I'd be such a douchebag from confidence... dont tell him that though, xD like man I'm trying my best but at this point I wouldnt know what to fucking do if he went away. Like I'd cry so much.... I hope he doesnt move on from me too quick.

I'm so. I feel happy. Because I'm looking at everything and I feel so happy I'll cry and so sad I'll laugh. It's like being in a shitty coming of age movie where they play pop punk and the main character has his moment with the hot girl at the school dance or whatever bullshit. I feel like that. But its also like that same main character in his late forties stumbling upon an old photo of him and his highschool girlfriend and killing himself from love.

Here's what I'm listening to now... this plus a bunch of nostlagia inducing songs earlier... I just. Memories. So many. I almsot want to cry. Like. Look at them. Hold them in your hands as if they're these lovely little stones you found on the ground and put in your pockets cos they had cool stripes. Feel their WEIGHT. It's one of those things where it's so happy it's sad. It's so sad its happy. You're laughing and crying all at once and all you want is a hug. Because you can FEEL the human parts of you coming out, seeping out like a styro, starts off white then... blood. Humanity. I am vulnerable and exposed and I leave myself here.

HAN LEID, HAN LEID, HAN LEID,... han varr.

He walked, he walked, he walked,... he became.

I guess I'm still walking. But jesus christ. People affect me so much. So much. These memories, how it was cold or sunset or hot outside or nighttime and dark, how we were there as humans. I'd never be happier than in those little moments but you don't see it until years later. You don't see how important it was until you think of it and cry... fucking hell. Nils, Mark, Gabe, Max, James, Kyle, Liz,, every friend I've ever had. Nothing is better than music and memories because jesus christ I would've loved to have... died.

Died? No. My brain does this thing... I dont mean died. I guess I mean I wouldve liked to be frozen in those moments.

Sometimes I get a similar feeling. It's not the same, but its similar. This thing where you are so happy and grateful and sad because this is a tragedy and wow look. A happy moment in a tragedy. But jesus its happy enough and I want to cry because I really do appreciate the people who's lives cross paths with mine. I cry because I think of every little moment in which I knew that I wasnt alone and every little moment in which I felt their SOUL with mine and every little moment where my heart was touched... even unintentionally and in ways that dont make sense.

There was a girl, I'll call her Jade, I came out to her before anyone else. And sometimes, in the back of my head, I play that moment. In my mind. It was over fucking Skype. But I still felt it.

Oh man... I should proabably tell my coming out story. The story of how I came out to my parents. I was scared. I really was... but I felt like if I couldn't be ME, I couldn't live, or at least I didn't want to.

This was the song I played as I wrote a letter at... around this time actually, 3 or 4 am

I wrote it so spontaneously. I didn't even THKNK. I just wrote it. Because I was tired of crying myself to sleep every night and well... I had camp the next morning. That gave them a solid week or so to think about my letter... that would ensure they would be able to cool off whatever anger it would make them feel.

I wrote on one sheet of sketchbook paper front and back. I tried my best to explain. I tried my best. And that paper is stained with tears and still rests in my moms sock drawer

The whole thing got complicated after that... but in the end it worked out, with a lot of fucking work and persistence on my part.

Soemtimes I hope they look at it and cry themselves like how I did writing it.

Sometimes I just wish things were different. But they're not. I gotta deal with this.

But hey! Hey! We were happy earlier. Because... I dont kNow. I love everyone and I love the planet and i never want anyone to have to be hurt. Okay??? I love. Everyone.

Its hyperbole but still. I just want the best for everyone and I hate when other people are suffering cos it makes me upset. And. I don't know. I feel so... emotional right now. Like right now? I just want to hug everyone. And tell them that I'm here. And that it's okay. Look at me, dude! Look at me. I fucking made it... kinda. You can too! If you're reading this and you feel like shit... pull through. Please. I believe you can. I love you ANF I care about you and if you ever need help, message me.

Whatever I just. I dont know. I feel all like I just want everyone to be happy and at peace.... because I remember SO MUCH and all of it is making me cry a lot because I'm full of love okay? Like. I just care about people. I had to say goodbye to all of them but I don't fucking forget. I NEVER FORGET. It's a curse and... right now? The saddest blessing ever.

I had to say goodbye... yknow, I've never been good at goodbyes. I hope I don't have to say goodbye to Jay for a while. A long time. And when we do... I hope I can listen to his song and think of him and pull out every memory as perfectly as I can for everyone else. I just. I don't know. I see all these people in my mind, in flashes and it all comes flooding back to me. That isnt just a face. That was my friend and now they're gone. That was my friend and now? Not a word from them... that was my best friend and now its awkward. I don't want that anymore.. its painful. All of these people that have forgotten me years ago... who I still remember. Ouch. I dont know. I think I'm being dramatic because tlaking to Jay and being sleep deprived made me all mushy and then I listened to music. So.

Music makes everything feel so much more consuming but I cant live without it.

I dont even know

I'm just happy that I get to experience love.

Even if in the very end I am left alone... even if I'm tormented with memories of a happiness that can only be temporary,,,

I still appreciate it all and I'm full of love and appreciation I'm happy and i want to say THANK YOU to everyone

Signing off at 3:50 a.m,

Jude Shepard

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (26)

@spickerzocker​ said:

hey there! just a heads up that i tried to click on the "why i don't ship" explanation link in your faq and it says that there is no post with that url/it's generally broken. also your "a conversation about recovery" thing is beautiful and hurts in the best way and i love it. have a nice day!

Yes, I intentionally took that link down awhile ago, and last night I went and updated some of the tabs on my blog. Here are my basic thoughts:

I wrote that link years and years ago, while I was first navigating the internet and while I was still figuring out important things about my own identity and opinions. I ran my blog differently back then, but by the end of the first few months, I knew I was uncomfortable with shipping. 

As people began to interact with me and my work, I told them over and over again no, I don’t want to talk about that, and I don’t want to write about it, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think that was a common position to take at the time, so it wasn’t what people expected from me. 

During those years, I felt like I had to justify myself and give a valid explanation. I wrote that post explaining why I had that boundary, and I put it in a place where anyone could find it.

I said no when people asked, let them make jokes about it, and made jokes about it myself in response. As time went on I got more and more exasperated when I had to repeat myself. I wrote definite rules into my ask box, request tab, and FAQ. People still asked. I wrote it into my description. People still asked. 

The truth is yeah, there’s a pretty simple explanation for my discomfort. It makes sense. It’s easy to understand, and most folks think it’s a “good enough” reason to leave me alone. The difference between young-me and current-me is that I no longer feel the need to justify myself. 

None of y’all need to know why I set the boundaries that I set. My explanation isn’t relevant, and I’m not obligated to give it. I said no. That’s enough. 

I think a good number of folks remember my explanation from the past, and I don’t mind that at all. There may be a time where I talk about it again, in a more appropriate context, so I guess we’ll see.

That’s a lot of information in response to a very helpful ask. Thanks! The link is gone now, and I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the fic :)

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Anonymous said:

U suck

Kenza sent this anon as a joke. She’s right, and I thank her. 

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Anonymous said:

I'm a doctor and ive seen it all.....but the milk fic made me gag

Excellent

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@wingedskyes said:

Ah. Wait. I wasn't on anon....uhm. oh well. It's fine. I like milk and am not ashamed. 😆

I don’t think I received another message from you actually, but I too like milk and I’m glad we’re on the same page

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@thelittleredheadedmusician said:

To add to the milk discussions: my best friend from home and best friend from college have each finished a gallon a milk by themselves within 2 days.

I do that too, every once in awhile. When the milk craving hits it’s a gallon a day

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Anonymous said:

"TIM! POUR HIM. A GLASS OF M A L K!"

Hold on I have to google some things

Yeah this is funny

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Anonymous said:

I have read that milk fic three separate times and every time I’m laughing just as hard as Tim and dick by the end it’s just so excellently executed and builds so perfectly that by the time dick cracks I’m ready to go too and I just lose it it’s amazing I love it

Awww anon I’m so pleased :)

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@the-smartass-under-the-mountain said:

Just wanted to drop by and say your recent fic with Tim antagonizing Damian with increasingly outrageous milk concoctions had me giggling. It was so cute and refreshing to see Dick enjoying Tim's little prank. And Bruce's reaction to just... walk away was fantastic!

Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when y’all think the jokes hit

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@njtheboywonder​ said:

I havnt really enjoyed a fic in years, but i stopped to read ur fanfic with tim drinking milk just to fuck w dami amd it made me smile. Thanks, for writing it.

Oh that warms my heart <3

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@bruciewayneisbatman​ said:

Tim Is totally the guy who would drink ridiculous amounts of dalgona coffee to annoy damian, according to that fic.

Had to google that one, but I guess so huh

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Anonymous said:

(diff anon) but that birthday fic was so good oml and you have opened my eyes as to the batfam in quarantine this is such a Concept

We’re all here dying..... together...

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Anonymous said:

Happy birthday! 🎉 or belated! 🎂 thank you for being in the fandom. 😊

&

Anonymous said:

To anon! Sorry. I forgot to add that! Anyway, thanks to them we get a lovely fic. I hope you have many more birthdays! 😊

Message for you anon

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Anonymous said:

Your writing gives off good vibes

Hear that guys I “passed my vibe check.” Is that what the youth say these days? I am an elder now and I do not know

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Anonymous said:

finding your blog while being relatively new to batman fandom is such a bliss. your batfam content especially is *chef's kiss* amazing.

Thank you my darling :) I’m glad you’re here

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Anonymous said:

Best line in a fic? Hard to pick just one, but this particular one from "Just Desserts" by fyeahbatmanandrobin on Tumblr is one of my faves: “Anyone else would be hard-pressed to provide the particular brand of excitement you bring to my life, Dami.”

&

@noisypaintersong​ said:

For the line thing: "I don't doubt it. Bruce Wayne, the unexpectedly normal guy wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a superhero wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a fake socialite wrapped in a businessman wrapped in a secretive billionaire." He paused. "…You're the seven-layer burrito of Gotham," he pondered. - Barry to Bruce in 'Of Friends and Foes' by Paganpunk2 on FFN. It's one of the funniest things I've read someone say to Bruce LOL

& 

@kirakats​ submitted:

&

Anonymous said:

“I do know that according to everyone else, there is no chance, no future, no universe where I stay a hero.” Describes my frustration with the way DC treats Damian so accurately. Let the kid be a hero dammit.

Thanks! That’s really helpful. I’ve got a decent answer to my question now. 

@kurawastaken​ submitted:

So this is Kenza retaliating against me for the milk fic. I very much hate tomatoes and specifically ketchup. This photo (1) is a nightmare and (2) fulfills its intended purpose.

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Anonymous said:

I love your blog!!!

And I love you 

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Anonymous said:

quick question: how do you think jason reconciles with the fam?? i think in the comics they kinda just reboot and now he’s on better terms. but like what conversations happened, yknow??? (you’re doin great work by the way, it rips out my heart but it’s great)

This is an amazing question, and I’ll be thinking about it for the next bit, I think. That would be a really interesting topic to explore in depth

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@angel-gidget​ said:

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first 10 people in your dash? Make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe!

Oh thank you for the hug <3

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Anonymous said:

I hadn’t been aware of that Memphis petition, but I live in Memphis too (Altho I know you said you just grew up there so you may not be living here currently haha) so ig I just wanted to say thanks for bringing it to my attention!

!!!

I’ve been in Texas for six years now, ever since I started school, but I’m still in and out of Memphis for family purposes. Love the trash heap of my birth 

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@damianwaynerocks​ said:

hey! any chance you know of any other dc heroes around damian’s age?

Sure! You could try Billy Batson, Jon Kent, or Maya Ducard

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Anonymous said:

hi! i don't know if it's okay to leave anons like these but ive been feeling down because my country has passed a bill that deprives us of lots of human rights freedom and i want you to know that i just found your blog through the damian/bruce + justice fic and it comforted me. im slowly going thru your works and so far they are all comforting. i love your stuff, thank you.

Philippines? I’ve heard some things, and I’m real sorry y’all’re going through that. I don’t know that there’s anything I could say about that to help, but I hope you’re finding joy somewhere

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@awesomeness-ofgaybitches​ said:

Tumblr hates you. The links in your bio and to your fic masterlist don't work on mobile. I'm sorry.

FUCK

[script-a-world]

Pylon Bios (An Update, with New Pylons)

Hello, lovely followers of script-a-world!

Please allow us to introduce ourselves! We haven’t had any sort of about-the-bloggers page available before, and now that we’ve added more to the team, we’re seeking to remedy that!

First of all, we call ourselves Pylons. What the heck is a pylon? Well, outside of this blog, it’s an upright structure for holding up something, usually a cable or conduit. When this blog was started more than a year ago (whoa), the group chose the word Pylon to describe ourselves collectively, as a fun little nickname. Whee!

Without further ado, meet the Pylons (and Mods)! (in alphabetical order)

Brainstormed: Hey there, call me Brainstormed, and you can find me at @thunderin-brainstorm. Any pronouns will do. I'm a student, illustrator, and world traveler. My home is in America, but I'm rarely there for more than a month at a time, so feel free to ask where in the world I happen to be! Worldbuilding has been my hobby for quite a long time and I'd love to give you some tips and tricks that I've learned, or take your idea and turn it on its head to perhaps show you a new perspective. The many projects I've developed have been lifesavers for me, as they allowed me to harness my Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder and use it as a positive tool for creativity. Aside from drawing and daydreaming, I spend a lot of time biking, hunting for cool rocks and bones, binge reading any scholarly article that catches my eye, and memorising completely useless random facts that I spout at any given moment in lieu of remembering actual important information.

___

Constablewrites: My name is Brittany, and I'm a California girl living in the Midwest. I use she/her pronouns. I've always loved stories with rich and detailed worlds, whether in movies, books, games, or something else entirely. I'm the kind of writer who will spend hours researching to confirm a minor detail. Naturally, I not only write SFF, but my recent projects have all required worldbuilding on more than one axis (like multiple types of magic, or time travel on top of historical) because i am apparently something of a masochist. I'm a walking TV Tropes index and a whiz at digging up random useful knowledge, both of which come in handy as a Pylon. Other random facts: I'm a trained actress and singer, I used to work at Disneyland on the Jungle Cruise (among other attractions), and a laptop held together with duct tape is responsible for my day job in tech support. I blog about writing as @constablewrites and about random things that amuse me as @operahousebookworm.

____

Delta: Hi! I’m Delta and I can be found @dreaming-in-circles or @thedeclineofapollo (writeblr), and I love sci-fi. Like, a lot lol. I work in NEPA compliance for a civil engineering firm in the USA, and have a lot of experience with infrastructure, bureaucracies, biology, and space (for unrelated reasons). I spend a lot of time haunting the astrophysics wikipedia pages, and my current all-consuming project is a novel that is angling to be about 150,000 words (at current projections). Can’t wait to hear your questions!

__

Ebonwing: Hi, I’m Ebonwing. I’m currently studying IT in university. I’m a writer and worldbuilder, and sometimes a worldbuilding writer or a writing worldbuilder. I gravitate towards fantasy, though I’m not going to say no to the occasional stint in scifi, and as I’m also a giant language nerd, I enjoy making conlangs for my creations. Other than that, I’m also an artist and indulge in any number of other crafting hobbies, and if I’m not doing any of those things, I can probably be found playing video games.

___

Feral: Hi! I'm Feral, and you can find me @theferalcollection (if you enjoy feminism, socialism, or over-analyzed fiction) or on my writing blog theferalcollection.wordpress.com. I'm a Southern girl who likes fancy dresses, mint juleps, big hats, and using being-underestimated to my advantage. I work in the interior design industry and am currently in school for industrial design. I have previously earned degrees in comparative literature and theatre & drama. I'm a big nerd who really likes school. I've been world-building since before I knew it was a thing and writing almost as long. I’ve written mostly fantasy but the past couple projects have been science fiction. I'm ridiculously in love with the idea of being an astrophysicist but don't feel like learning calculus, so I just read about science a lot. My hobbies include martial arts, drinking too much coffee, and tabletop games.

____

Lockea: Hello! I’m Lockea. You can find me all over the internet as @lockea or LockeaStone. I’m a leaf on the wind who currently enjoys the SoCal sunshine in Los Angeles where I work as an engineer and data scientist. I love street fashion (especially Lolita) and making jewelry. I have two kitties, Theodore and Cecelia, and I volunteer at the local animal shelter as a cat handler and adoption counselor. I know way too much about cat behavior, honestly, and will yap your ear off if you let me.

Worldbuilding wise, I have a deep affection for science fiction and I’ve consulted professional science fiction writers on developing technology and worlds through the explanation of science and engineering. My engineering specialization is extra-terrestrial  robotics, so if it has to do with space, planetary science, or robotics -- I got you. I’m also a fan of politics and really like developing political and socio-economic systems in fantasy and sci-fi worlds.

__  

Miri: Miri here, with my main tumblr @asylos and my writing tumblr @mirintala. I am a Canadian Pharmacy Technician by day and a small time ePublisher and gamer of many types by night. Mostly wandering around the Internet helping to organize events in the FFVII tumblr fandom (modding at @ff7central and @ffviifandomcalendar), and stumbling around within the Borderlands of Pandora. I use she/her pronouns.

—-

Symphony: Hey, I’m Symphony! Use whatever pronouns you feel like, any work. I’m currently living in Michigan with my fiance, and in-between jobs but I want to go to nursing school ASAP.  My favorite genres in fiction are horror, sci-fi, and really anything that holds my interest. In my own worldbuilding I've always felt myself most interested in developing societies on the macro level (politics, diet, customs, stuff like that), and the more esoteric, strange parts of my world. I like to make a place feel lived in, with secrets that may never be found and people who seek them out.

——

Synth: I’m @chameleonsynthesis on Tumblr, but that’s a mouthful, so just call me Synth. Any pronouns work. Born and raised in Canada, but living in Norway as of autumn 2007. Looking back, I’ve been worldbuilding since at least the age of four (in my early thirties now, so yeah), with a predominantly science-fantasy bent. I’m of the artsy creative type, with way too many projects on the go at any given time, and enjoy long walks through Wikipedia and getting caught in TV Tropes. The best thing is when I stumble across some strange factoid that can justify aspects of my many weird alien species. Stupid Synth facts: I have dual Canadian and Norwegian citizenship. My legal name contains a letter that does not exist in the English alphabet. I can curl my tongue into a cloverleaf shape, and wiggle my ears. My day job is musical instrument repair. I play French horn in a concert band, trombone in a jazz band, and don’t practice my flute or piccolo near as much as I should. Outside of band rehearsals and my job, I volunteer at the local cat shelter, work out at a gym, and attend events at my city’s newly established makerspace.

__

Tex: I'm Tex, and you can find me on tumblr @texasdreamer01. Most of my hobbies are centered around fandom and worldbuilding for it, though I also like cooking and reading up on fiction and non-fiction whenever I have the time. I'm currently studying biochemical engineering, with a slant in nanotechnology and its medical applications, so I need to know a bunch about the different types of sciences, as well as projecting for the development of future fields.

-----

Utuabzu: Hi, I’m Utuabzu, I previously was part of ScriptMyth (RIP) where I tended to take the lead on Mesopotamia and Egypt related asks. I’m most of the way through a Bachelor of Linguistics, e parlo italiano und ein bisschen Deutsch. I have a deep and enduring interest in the history of the ancient world, particularly the ancient Near East, and I’m also a bit of a nerd for politics, which is helpful when it comes to worldbuilding. My random 2am research binges have resulted in my knowing a lot of odd things. I enjoy travelling and experiencing other cultures, however as I am Australian this unfortunately requires flying, which I hate a great deal. I expect to one day be crushed beneath a pile of my books. It is a demise I am ok with.

_____

Wootzel: Hi, I’m Wootzel, or @wootzel-dragon! I use she/her pronouns. I’m a recent college grad trying to figure life out. My favorite thing about worldbuilding is making things as realistic or pseudo-realistic as possible, and finding a justification for everything. Sometimes, this is also my least favorite thing about myself, because it can make things very hard! But, it can also be really rewarding when I get things to work out in a way that I enjoy.

My other hobbies include reading lots of fanfic while neglecting physical books, starting ambitious sewing projects on a whim, and wondering where all my time goes on a daily basis. I have changed major a few times, and I am still unsure about what I want to do with my life, except that it’ll always have writing in it somewhere.

[neptuniadoesstuff]

Introduction Thing Ig... So.. Welcome to the Basement?

(Update due to imbox spam: While I do support Palestine, I DO NOT HAVE ANY MONEY TO SEND! So please do not send me any requests to donate, I don't have a job nor have money (as im just a random kid. All I can say is "I hope you can have a better life than now". So plz dont fill my inbox with donate requests as its only used for art requests & OC based asks/QnA Trash)

(Plz click the read more to see all of the text)

Btw I'm a MINOR, someone who is UNDER 18! SO PLAESE DNI IF YOU ARE A 18+ ONLY OR MATURE ACC!

(Yeh this is a remake of my introduction post, but we don't talk about that-)

So yeh, welcome to this.. place... This is where I store all of my art & whatever I can think of. So, you will expect:

Art (Usually Fandom-based or OC based)

Art WiPs (That of ATs, DTs, & Character Refs)

Meems (Except I'm not funny so don't expect many)

& Stoopid Garbage like my rambles & crud.

(Although reminder that my art can & will be 13+ as it will contain things like g0r3, Cannibalism, & even death, I'm just uncomfy with anyone under 13 actually interacting with me due to my past experience back on Screb... But if you are kind enough maybe I'll let you talk to me, I'm pretty friendly but I do have some problems irl so keep in mind..)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Bio (Full):

|| Name: Bubs | Aliases: N (If you know me irl), Neptunia | Gender: Female, She/Her | Age: 15 (I'm a minor, so leave me alone if yur an 18+ only/mature acc) | Height: Blob-Sized, May be a bit chonky lol | Pride: AroAce | Other: Big fan of MO: Astray & an avid enjoyer of Blobs ||

Birthday: December 26.

Zodiac: Capricorn. (I don't take zodiacs seriously though tbh, I just think they're a bit neat to say.)

IQ Level: Moron.

If you know who I am, I'm BuggoBlobs from Scratch (Sadly due to the whole banning fiasco bcs of someone mass reporting me for calling them out on their bs.... Lets say things didnt end well for me..)

So yeh erm... that's why I'm here....? (Well not rlly, I have known about Tumblr for a long time, except I only made an acc this year due to a frend of mine (REDACTED) making an acc on here, so I thought "Let's do the same thing" & here we are)

(Funfact: I'm quite anti-social irl & only have like... 2 irl frends but I only talk to one-)

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My Mascots/Sonas ig-:

Neppy ◆/♠︎/♣︎ (Main Mascot) (You will see her... A LOT, so be ready) (Her Ref & TH Page)

Bubs (Design coming soon) ◆ (This is my persona/irlsona btw)

JJ Sam Green ♣︎/♠︎ (Mascot) (His Ref & TH Page) (TW: Can contain sensitive info) (You can also see his full ref here)

Jayden/Greeny ♥︎/♣︎ (Mascot) (His Ref & TH Page)

(Symbol Meanings: ♥︎ = Comfort. ♣︎ = Favorite. ◆ = Sona. ♠︎ = Just think they're neat lookin.)

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Content warnings!

G0r3/Bl00d

Cannibalism

Death

Sometimes horrifying imagery

Semi-graphic descs of charcters.

OC with Scars

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My Socials ig:

Screb (I have 2 accs on there.but one got murked... At least i have a back up ig? Welp. The one that got murked is a archive now so yeah...), Tumblr (Your Here lol), ToyHouse (Where all of my OCs whom I created/put on there exist)

Or you can use my Carrd here. I don't mind tbh. (+ Having a Carrd is much easier to link than all of my Socials.)

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Fandoms (I'm in ig):

MO: Astray (Fave Game)

Hollow Knight

WoF

Pokemon

DNU (Doctor Nowhere Universe)

Oh yeah this includes content I make of/for but not in. (Like TES & Fallout)

(Reminder: Just bcs I sometimes make content about smtn I'm not a part of doesn't mean I'm actually a part of that thing's Fandom, like example, some of my OCs in Fandoms I used to be in/aren't apart of.)

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Some of my original trash (In no actual order bcs I'M NOT NEAT & TIDY!):

Mortal's Curse/Terminal Archina/PoL (Same Universe as AoE/A2P)

Egolandia

Endoterr's Vail (Project Cata nka Oblivion Monroe &

RoTG (Realm of the Gods)

BloopTopia/LoA (Land of Ackezelle) (Aka World of Eeross)

Silver Valley

Soul Seekers

Noirvillah? (A part of a universe owned by my frend Ashe)

KR1T4.EXE

A Stargazer's Diary

MonoVista

And whatever else I have

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My TOS (You will see it a lot in my art-based posts)

Bubs' TOS: Plz don't repost/steal, trace, or recolor my art WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! If you do, I'll take yur femur and pelvis.. SO, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! (The PNS on my blog's pinned post clearly means "Please No Steal" plz follow that rule.) If you do post my art on anything like yur blog or somewhere else (With my permission) PLEASE CREDIT ME!

So yeh, if you my any see a PNS in my drawings, that means it says, "Plz No Steal". DO NOT SEAL MY ART!

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DNI If you do any of these:

Taking my art w/o permission (This includes Tracing, copying, recoloring, or just straight up saying it's your art. Bcs I take lots of time making art & you taking my art w/o permission hurts me) (It will not only matter if it was made for you & only you but plz frikin credit me if you post it)

Being weird to me or my characters/designs. (Just... don't... I'm AroAce (+ a Minor) & that makes me uncomfortable tbh... Look even if I do make a character with a certain body type/looks that's kinda "sus", does not allow you to make weird comments about them at all)

The average hate comments, harassment, bullying, & spamming/threats thing. We all know those 4, right? Just be a frikin decent person for crying out loud. (You can dislike me & my art all you want, idc tbh. Just don't go harassing me on multiple levels to the point IT WILL MAKE ME HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN!) (Also, these 4 count for my frends here. Again, be a decent person. I'm watching you..) (Also, this rule includes nor respecting me, just plz respect everyone with kindness... Thanks.)

Pestering/threatening me to draw you smtn. (I work hard on my drawings + I have a life outside of here, so don't expect me to draw you smtn since I only draw for my frends & myself. If you really want art from me, pay in art, idc how bad the art is, art is art & I have no biases when it comes to it as everyone has their own style.)

LGBTQ-Phobes/Menaces to certain groups of ppl who did nothing wrong but exist. (This is a LGBTQ+ Safe place)

Creeps, Weirdos, & ppl who ship problematic ships. (Like don't be any of those plz... Especially the weirdos who like children or animals WAY TOO MUCH.)

(Edit) Making false accusations/hateful comments of my friends. Be a goddamn decent human being for the love of God or ill have to report you.

(Not strictly but I do get uncomfortable) following any adults only/18+ acc on here. Yeh I just don't really interact with anyone who is currently following a 18+ acc bcs it just.. weird..

Breaking any of these DNI Rules can get you blocked BY ME! So be careful...

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My Mutuals/Friends:

@oregon-or-the-grave (Ashe/Oregon), @mor-meowcat (Abi), @viellohi (Vie), @somepersonyouknow (Mia), @spiasshdown (Splesh).

(4 of them are literally from Screb & only one I know IRL- It's a whole bag of worms lol-)

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Anyways my side blogs bcs I said so:

The Official Mortal's Curse Blog (Ask/RP OC Blog)

My Species Storage Blog (Lore QnA/Original Species Blog) (Originally a Ref Sheet storage Blog)

My MO: Astray AU Blog called Timeline-Breaker (Ask/RP/AU)

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So yeh... Thats its rlly for this post... Hope you enjoyed yur stay, & remember, always stay a goober! Even in the toughest times.

(Art is by me btw, Plz don't take. :( )

[godinbirdsandsataninlongwords]

The odds!

Thats a lot but here we go

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

  If i say yes, im vain. If i say no, im lying. But to be truthful, yeah a bit

3. Are you a virgin?

  Lol nope

5. Are you in love?

  Probably. If it feels like this then most likely but who knows

7. Can you commit to one person?

  I would have said no a year ago but now that all im lookin for

9. Describe your perfect mate.

  Mate is a weird word and i hate using it to refer to my partners. BUT my perfect person would have to be kind and understanding of everything about me. I know Im not the easiest person to be with but I do try really hard. Someone who can make me laugh and let me just ramble. Someone who gets that my family has always and will always come first. Someone gentle and soft to balance out my roughness and wildness.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

  I do but if I never have the whole wedding thing, ill be fine. I just want to have my person by my side for the rest of time.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

  Oh hell yeah. Its a talent of mine

15. Do you have any pircings?

  Ive had a few over the years but the only ones if really kept are my industrial bar and my lobes.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

  Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

  Id like to think so

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

  If im going to cheat, then i dont need to be in that relationship

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

  I would really really like to be

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem about you?

  Yes

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? 

  Yeah. Im not a good person by any means

31. Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

  Is the sky blue?

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

  why yes i have thank you for asking

35. Have you ever kissed soeone older than you?

  Unfortunatly

37. Have you ever liked someone your friends hated?

  I dont actually know atm but just to stay safe ill just say probs

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldnt have?

 Been there, dont that, currently doing that.

41. Have you has sex so far this year?

  Id be very impressed with myself if i managed to convince someone to have sex with me in the first 5 hours of the new year.

43. How long was your longest relationship?

  2.5-3 years. It was a nice time for the most part

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

  6? 

47. How old are you?

  Im 24 and thank you for reminding me to update my bio

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, whats your favorite thing about them?

  This is going to sound dumb but, their presence. Like specifically when i can have some form of small physical contact. I like knowing that they enojoy my company.

51. Is there a boy/girl youd do absolutly everything for?

  Yes! Its a fault of mine

53. Is there someone mad because youre dating/talking to the person you are?

 I dont think so. Some might not approve after recent event but no one is mad

55. Share a relationship story

 Ask for a specific one and I will

57. Biggest thing you want to say to an ex

  Uh lets go with Devin. Im so sorry I made our breakup nasty. I should have just sucked it up and never let you come back but Im so incredibly amazed and proud of the husband and father youve become. Keep it up, Piggy

59. What do you look like? 

Now you can use my image to catfish people on the internet

61. Whats the first thing you notice in someone?

 Thier nose. I like noses. Then its eyes and smile

63. Whats your definition of “having sex”?

 Nude and touching eachothers genitals/oral/penitration of some kind. If im really liking the person, then some kissing. Mainly just enjoying each others naked bodies i guess

65. Whats your favorite foreplay routine?

 I really like giving oral so i always start with that. Its nice to give my undivided attention to my partner 

67. Whats your idea of the perfect date?

 Doing to an aquarium to see sharks OR going to an art museum. If both are done in the say day, ill probably get on one knee....or both

69. What turns you off?

  heh. thats the sex number. Probably being a huge asshole. Just dont be a prick to me or anyone else and we will be fine

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

 Easy. I was tied up and in a gangbang. Ill spare you the details

73. Whats something sweet youd like somene to do for you?

  Sing and enjoy Brand New songs with me

75. Whats the sweetest thing anyones done for you?

  To name a few:

Learned a Br&New song on the guitar

Given me a huge bag of gummies for my birthday when i expected nothing

Writen poems for me

Let me sob in thier chest and not say anything

77. Whats your opinion about age differences in relationsips?

 The make everything more complicated when the gap is bigger

79. WHen was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

The person I like rn talked about going on a date with someone

81 Who are five people you find attractive?

 I guess they have to be people you can lok up so ill have to say

Tilda Swinton

Ewan McGregor

TheRussianBadger

Natalie Portman

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand IQ from R6 Siege

83. Who was our first kiss?

Erin Hale in middle school. She was a legit crazy

85. Would you ever date someone off of the internet?

I have nd its awful   

Thank you for the ask!

[stephhannes]

I Was a 23 Year Old Widow & Here’s Where I Went From There

a friend sent me a link to a refinery29 article today (I’m A 31-Year-Old Widow, & I Don’t Know Where To Go From Here) and it felt exactly like something i would have written three years ago, when i was in my first year of widowhood. it basically is something i’ve written three years ago. i remember all of those same feelings, am i doing this right? how do i navigate being hot and young but also a grief-stricken widow? 

the most important lesson i’ve learned in the last three years is this: the world doesn’t revolve around me. 

every time i start freaking out about the nuances of grieving i remind myself, the world doesn’t revolve around you, dummy. and nothing has been more freeing. 

everything in my life revolves around my grief, but there is no one else around me that’s thinking about it as much as i am. so much of my anxiety was defined by if i felt like i was grieving appropriately, in a way that society would approve of- but society isn’t thinking about me and my grief. and if they are, who gives a shit? talk to me when your partner unexpectedly dies at the age of 23. 

when i came back to social media after nathan died, i remember getting comments on photos like “oh, it’s so nice to see you smiling!” that made me so self-conscious. is it too soon to be smiling? is it ok to be having fun with my friends right now? 

i returned to dating apps within a year of nathan’s death, and i kept it secret for a very long time. i didn’t want people to think i was moving on. i wasn’t moving on, i was lonely! i was afraid that people would see me on tinder and be like “oh, she’s not that sad i guess” i was that sad! that’s why i was reverting to the ol’ faithful coping mechanism of entertaining gentlemen callers! 

as someone forced to live in my own grief, of course i was out here catastrophizing every situation possible. i stayed awake at night stressing over ok so when i do eventually date again: when do i tell him that i’m a widow? (literally just whenever it comes up in conversation) is it weird to talk about nathan all the time? (not really, is it actually any different than when someone talks about their ex? if anything, it should be less uncomfortable, my ‘ex’ is dead, there’s no threat there) do i take down the pictures of nathan before inviting someone to my house? (no, it’s my house).

in the piece i wrote 20 days after nathan died, this is what i was panicking about:

And I know that it’s only been a few weeks since Nathan died, but I feel the weight of the 21st century coming down on me already. Theoretically, he and I were so lucky to have found each other so early, not having to navigate our 20s with awkward dates and rifling through dating apps. But in reality, now that’s where I’m going to have to find myself again. I don’t know how to date someone that I haven’t already known for 10 years. When do I tell someone I’m a widow? How much is appropriate amount to mention my dead fiancé during a blind date? When is the appropriate time to update my Facebook relationship status to ‘single’? When am I supposed to take off my engagement ring and show my face on 6th street?

What’s an appropriate tinder bio?

“Hi, I’m Stephanie. I used to be engaged but now I’m not! Hit me up!”

How do I navigate a new relationship with someone when I know that they will never know me as well as Nathan did? I can spend all day talking about who I was in high school, I can explain with detail every moment of my collegiate years, but no one will truly know who I was during those times because they weren’t there.

and here’s the update on that, 3 years later:

as previously mentioned, i’ve had success just bringing it up whenever it happens to come up. i played around with immediately being like “hey i’m steph i’m a widow what’s poppin?” but i think it’s a little more palatable to lure someone in with my insufferable personality and then be like “oh btw im a widow lol” 

i went through a phase where i would tell stories about my time in new york, but omit the fact that the reason i lived there was because of my fiance. or i’d tell stories about “an ex” without being like “well the ex is actually my dead fiance” but that felt weird, so i transitioned to just literally talking about nathan, my dead fiance, whenever i want to. and shockingly, it’s gone over pretty well. men are a lot more receptive to hearing about your ex that you’re still kinda in love with when your ex is dead.

my facebook relationship status is still not updated to single. but i did take it off my profile altogether after about two years. 

i took off my engagement ring about 6 months after nathan died. it was a whole thing. i was tired of people seeing it and assuming i was engaged, and asking me about it and then being forced into being like “oh haha well i’m not engaged anymore” i showed my face on 6th street and hated it, not because of my status as a widow, because i’m 26.

i’m banned from tinder, but my bumble bio is “self made hundredaire / used to work on broadway / never eaten a grape before / very passionate about the monster mash and sparkling water” people seem to like it.

if i could go back in time and whisper to myself “shhh you sweet summer child it literally doesn’t matter” god, i would. i sucked in high school, thank fucking god no one knows what i was actually like then. i was unbelievably depressed in college, we don’t need to re-live that in detail. i’m literally so cool now, and that’s really all that matters. like, i’m fun and a boss babe and smart and hilarious and mysterious (but let’s not focus on the mystery just yet) so does it really matter if someone doesn’t immediately know the nuances of my 15 year old psyche?

+++

when talking about my relationship with nathan, i’ve always framed it as “i know it’s not the end all be all of relationships” and i still firmly believe in that. like the ann druyan quote- “we knew that we were the beneficiaries of chance. we found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.” we had a dope relationship, it ran its course, i learned a bunch of shit about myself and what i need moving forward, and now it’s time to move forward. 

and in moving forward, i have to keep reminding myself that accepting relationships as they come into my life is a fun and exciting experience. it doesn’t have to be daunting and serious and terrifying. part of that has been just forcing myself to get out of my head, stop overthinking everything, and remember that the world does not revolve around me. there’s something about being able to just take what i need, leave what i don’t, for as long as it lasts and being fine with things when they eventually end. 

it’s been kind of hilarious finally going through scenarios i used to agonize over in the middle of the night. everything that i imagined to be a huge deal has been actually, not a deal at all. i had a conversation with a friend a couple of months ago where i was like “i just want a toxic relationship to pass the time,” and she was like “are you saying that because that’s actually what you want, or are you saying that because you’re afraid of being genuinely intimate/vulnerable with someone that’s not nathan?” and i was like, ok first of all i didn’t come here to get dragged like that and secondly…yeah, maybe. 

the vulnerability thing is still tough for me- very much not a fan of talking about my feelings without masking it with comedy. but every step i’ve made in that direction, i’ve been able to do without guilt or questioning myself. 

the first time someone other than nathan slept in my bed, i was worried that i would end up upset- it was fine. i was like “oh, i forgot how nice it is to wake up not alone.”

when i found myself in a vaguely toxic relationship i realized “yeah ok, that’s definitely not what i want.” the last time that person left my house, my first thought was “i miss nathan.” and it wasn’t even necessarily nathan that i missed. i missed being around someone that made me feel like they idk…..cared about me as a person and like…..respected me. 

i spent a lot of time seeking out people that i thought were similar to nathan, and then i realized that the qualities i was attracted to were just the bare minimum of human decency.  the things that i loved the most about my relationship with nathan weren’t necessarily qualities that were exclusive to him (they were things he was very good at, but so are a lot of other people). his willingness to listen to me tell the same stories over and over, his patience with all of my anxiety, how much he loved just spending time around me, the way he valued and respected my opinions, his ability to remember very tiny details, our effortless rapport. 

and at the same time, i’m recognizing strengths in other people that fill in where nathan had some weaknesses. the fact that none of my friends liked him, his inability to cope with my depression, all of the times he’d ask for forgiveness rather than permission, his unwillingness to accept criticism when i was upset with him, or the way he’d continue to push buttons i’d repeatedly asked him to leave alone. 

+++

so maybe it’s the zoloft, or maybe it’s just growing up a little bit- but letting go of all of that anxiety has really allowed me to feel a lot lighter. it feels good to finally be present in all of my relationships, not concerned about how anything looks- rather, just concerning myself with shit that feels right. i’ve always been a pretty solid judge of character, and as soon as i stopped doubting myself, the quality of person that came into my life was immediately a lot better, weird. it’s almost like the only opinion that truly matters....is my own.