#its the most frustrating art ive done in years

[ms-all-sunday]

prince & princess

[dapper-lil-arts]

So uh. My freelance work here is kind of dying.

I thought i'd keep my long-term followers on the know-how, so i might as well write about my current circumstances here, give y'all an update, so to speak.

So, for several reasons, most of them not even my fault, i've been getting less and less commissions, almost none, actually, and the ones i get are usualy on the cheaper side, which is bad concidering that this is my livelihood, commission money pays my bills, my groceries, and my taxes, and now i sure as hell am strugling to imagine this will sustain me for long. Twitter is a sinking ship ever since elon went over, Specificaly for people like me. I had just broken into 12k followers there, a huge milestone for me, and then i got shadowbanned, and for the last few months i've gotten *nothing*. It's completely dead, i'm stagnated there, all my arts are censored, and there's no way for me to undo it or fix it, and so i've gotten less and less comms out there, which sucks because its the only reason i was even on that stupid site. Here on tumblr, meanwhile, the CEO went on a massive transphobic streak, and a lot of lgbt folk (which composed a lot of my following,) decided to jump ship, and i sure as hell dont blame them, but sadly that's more potential costumers that bailed, and there's no proper website to go to. Anywhere i'd go, i'd be starting from scratch again, which would be utterly disheartening and frustrating, and there no website that is kind to artists, with no algorythim, that also have a messaging system (the latter being ESSENTIAL to the way i do comms) So i'm kind of stuck. I just. have nowhere to go, and nothing to do. And last but not least, my own fault, I've just been drawing and creating what *I* specificaly want, on an hedonistic streak this year. That's why theres so much pony bs on this blog now, and why i was straight up posting poetry a while back, and have written hundreds upon hundreds of fanfiction pages in the last few months; Which, unfortunately, is a terrible business decision if your intent is making money. Which I surely should have prioritized, but in the end, its not up to me, its up to the costumers... So now i'm a bit stuck. I've enjoyed the things ive drawn and written more than anything i've ever done, and yet, i've never been less successful on the actual business side. I'm still considering my venues, my possibilities, but there's not many. Trying to get a job would certainly pull me away from creation, and i'd hate it regardless of what it was, and on another venue, theres no guarantee that going back to furry titties would bring me money.

and that's whats heartbreaking about it too. no matter how much effort i put on my work, theres no guarantee of sucess, so why even spend time trying to craft a masterpiece? why not just follow trends and make a tiktok account or whatever the fuck makes money these days. I'd rather not, frankly. And i wont. Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading this update, that's how my life is goin atm. i'm going to continue doing as i am right now, but yknow... I'm not sure what i should do, if you want to give me suggestions, feel free.

[torchstelechos]

i realize how nothingish this question is regards to like answerability but like how do you get.... ideas...? or. i dont really ever have any kind of bigger things i want to draw its always like small stuff.... or... idk.... i want to make things that are like.. more... i want to make stuff that like... means something makes you think something... most of my stuff is just tiny little things with nothing behind it just something to get it down but i like want to make things that are interesting to look at.... idk..... okay wait ill share a self portrait i did.

^ im really hapoy with this stuff theres color theres studf going on! an eclipse! right like its. its neat theres things theres associations being made theres questions theres something there this is the only thing ive made where i actually feel like ive expressed something that was in me and i just dont know how to do that again i want to make more things like that i want to get more out of my art than just putting stuff down thatll be forgotten the second its down i want what i make to be meaningful to me and idk how... uhhhh anyway thanks for reading thisif you do i just needed to get thoughts out or smth frustrated with this. doing this for six years and its just. ive managed like a handful of things id want to show people everything else is just things made because i just have to do this urghhh sorry about all this

Howdy! I had to take a bit to think of an answer for this question. I didn’t want to fall back on the statement everyone gets when they ask about art (practice), especially since you specified ideas rather than art appearance/style. So! Lets get into that! (gonna be kind of long oops)

First I want to say that I enjoy your self portrait, its very colourful and I LOVE colour. The choices in colour also complement each other very well, as yellow, orange, and blues go well together. Not only that, but the saturation of each colour help bounce off each other and bring it all together. Now, I assume the materials are a blue pen, and crayons? It might be markers, but the way the orange moves across the yellow makes me think of crayons. I adore it! I love crayons and haven’t been able to use them in a while, so it’s nice to see them being used. 

Now, your question, I feel needs some context from my side of things before I can properly answer it. I have been doing art for about 15 years now, and I have done multiple mediums including painting (water colour, oil, and acrylic), drawing (crayons, pens, markers, pencils, etc.), fiber arts (knitting, sewing, crocheting), baking/cooking (i think the presentation counts and how its a medium that takes combing lots of things to make a singular outcome), and a few I wont share right now. I’ve had official art classes that made me do things very specifically, one that taught me art history and how different genres of art were introduced, another on creativity and how to help flourish ideas, and some others on how to use different mediums and styles. I also watch speedpaints, animatics, and animation progress videos to learn some quick shortcuts in digital art since I was never taught officially on digital art. Including all of these, I also have done LOTS of practice in art. Having said this, lets get into some of my own thought processes. 

When I make art, the first things I tend to ask myself is “what do I want” and “what do I think would be interesting”? These aren't mutually exclusive, but they can be answered very differently depending on how I want to do something. For the Siffrin during the Mal du Pays fight piece, I actually started it by seeing a cat picture and thinking, “I want a discord reaction with Siffrin face down on the floor” which went into drawing Siffrin as the cat and then asking myself, “Wait, why is Siffrin face down?” which went into Oh! It’d be funny if it was Mal du Pays! So, doing that I decided to make it in the king's room which meant I had to draw a background. Eventually that transformed into “Okay but it doesnt look right, why?” the answer was that it didnt look like the game so I had to add some texture details and ta-da! Siffrin face down! 

But this also comes from years of practice in knowing what I want and knowing how to draw it, some of my art pieces were, “I think it would be cool if I drew a character looking down at me in front of a skyscraper” but um,, I didnt know how to draw that ;-; so I had to just let my hands kind of try and finish the piece even if I didnt like it. At that point, I realized I needed to practice the character and my style more until I COULD draw what I wanted. Which led into my drawing, a LOT of things I couldn’t and didnt like. 

As for symbolism in art, and how I got ideas for it, a lot of it comes down to knowing the character and how you want to translate your thoughts of the character into art. One of the ways I started doing this was adding flowers to the characters art, or learning what flower I considered “theirs” that way I could add hints to  it in the drawings. Some of it also came from animals, others came from art genres and their historical significance, and some come down to theories (such as colour theory in art). 

Finally, it really does come down to practice. As much as I hate to say it, a lot of the art pieces I do and share tend to lean towards “practice” or concept doodles so that I can better understand HOW I want to add it to a bigger piece. Most of my Siffrin and Loop drawings tend more to that as I need to better understand how their shapes and lines communicate to an art piece (Loop being a fucking star gets me so much) before i can add symbolism and make a bigger art piece. Even then, sometimes it doesnt work and the bigger art piece needs to be put to a back burner before i can communicate my thoughts on the characters as I wish to. 

(Here’s also a neat little trick I do, write out what you want to draw and then draw thumbnails so you can figure out the composition of the piece you want. It helps you know where something goes and how you want it to appear without keeping it in our brain for a long period of time. Some of the things I share are concept doodles but I’ve shared pictures of me doing this before! It can be annoying but trust me, it helps when you can’t figure out the draft at all.) 

Also, heres some of my REAL old art for reference when I say I’ve practiced a lot and didn’t always know how to do big art pieces ;;;;

Hope that helped answer some of my thought process on ideas and how that translates to art? I could go into more detail if you need me to discuss something further

[gunstellations]

i know this is isnt even sonadow adjacent, but i'm a traditional artist who is having trouble adjusting to digital. I know carrer-wise its going to be really useful, but i dont know how to go about acclimating to it. I really love your art and i was wondering if you have any advice for me- of course if you want to! Thank you regardless (dont forget to drink water and take breaks!)

ahhh thank you for the ask (and dont worry abt the sonadow ajsjfjs) ill try to answer to the best of my abilities, i took a while mulling this over but i think ill try to explain my process or how i feel about it instead of telling you how you should do things - and i hope you can get some ideas!

for me, between traditional and digital at the base of it, there isnt much difference but it comes down to efficiency and ease somehow, its definitely a faster process for me! i havent done much traditional art myself and its only ever been sketches or pencil drawings for the longest time till i eventually got a tablet and tried out drawing digitally. (ive been technically doing digital for about a decade now and it was VERY on and off till a few years ago tbh) once youre used to a pencil theres a bit of a getting-used-to-it curve so id suggest practicing familiar things a little at first, similar drawings you might do traditionally just to get used to the feeling of using the device and tools. 

in the case of tools, if youre using a specific program, theres usually a lot of helpful videos and tutorials for learning the interface and shortcuts, i find learning those early on helps out a lot, especially with programs like csp where its kind of overwhelming at first. (i use procreate on an ipad because its simple and i never got around to being able to effectively using csp...) i say learn the basics of the program first with simple drawings because  if you start out attempting to draw something seriously and you spend most of the process frustrated at the program and being kicked out of the flow its kind of depressing to me...

as a career id say learning digital tools is definitely important, but at the same time i think id recommend not giving up entirely on traditional too. whenever i have art block i like to switch mediums and it often times helps! theres just something comfortable about pencil and paper and the restriction and lack of choices it comes with really does help with especially worrying about perfecting a drawing. you can also mix and match! i know a few artists who do their sketches on paper and render it digitally too, theres no limitation like that :D

also i just wanted to say im really honored you liked my art enough to ask, this is the first time something like this has happened and it made me so surprised and happy so thank you! i am also self taught though and just draw for fun so do take it with a grain of salt - but i hope it helped! o/

[freebooter4ever]

One of the interesting new(ish, like a few years) iterations of my drawings is being consciously aware of what is 'practice' or 'learning' and then doodles where im kind of applying what i have used before into something 'new'. This might not make sense to anyone else.

BUT ive been listening to the airborne toxic event literally nonstop - and the one album i always always skip is dope machines. I feel so guilty about it but i cant stand that entire album. And i was reading mikel's burb about it: “I made a decision to change my whole approach to music. I just wanted to be joyful about it. I wasn’t going to worry anymore. For the first three records, I thought mostly like a writer. My mindset changed. It was about inventing a musical logic that was unabashedly catchy and rhythmic, but way weirder than anything we’ve done in the past.”

And realized this was the band's learning album - like mikel is obviously a writer, he's always been a writer. But the fourth album was obviously them trying mostly to create a 'hit' rather than the kind of storytelling that was integral to the previous ones. The other albums feel like mikel's voice just reaches into your head and draws out the most intense emotions that you just cant get out otherwise. Dope machines didnt do that, lol. Like im not listening to 'wrong' on repeat twenty times like i did with 'the fifth day'.

But then with 'hollywood park' the band went right back to that almost catharsis sound/feeling. And maybe that one wasnt a 'hit' or top 40 or whatever, but the album and the book together just said so much that who cares about popularity bullshit. And like...obviously us fans stuck it out even through dope machines LOL.

I guess im just trying to make myself feel better about my shitty learning art lately because nothing is working and its frustrating the heck out of me.

[coldresolve]

let me start this off with i hella respect you and love your art/stories, but all this discussion about torture got me thinking too and i definitely dont wanna come across the wrong way, i agree with you on many points, but i just dont think its that deep.

cause honestly ive been writing torture since i was like 11 so i know its not that serious. not for most people. i get that it could come across the "wrong way" but like... most people literally do not think about this. that being said, ive never written torture in an interrogation setting when it WORKED (i did write interrogation but actually never worked cause then i would have had to stop writing the torture, and, you know, thats what i wanted to write, so the person being tortured never "break").

i wrote (and am writing) torture because i, personally, enjoy it (and get off to it). my characters (the torturers/captors etc) are doing it mostly out of sheer enjoyment/passion. they dont try to get info, dont try to get their victims to be obedient, dont try to brainwash, none of that. i just write what makes ME feel GOOD. i never ever thought about "how would this affect people" or "what deeper meaning does it have", cause, frankly, it doesnt have a deeper meaning for me, all it means is "mmmm torture, i love it".

i. just. enjoy. it. that simple!!

and while im not a fan of the "whump community", i believe lots of people there think like me, in the sense that they just want to write what they enjoy without thinking about it. reflecting to what the other anon said.. like yeah they say it's "fiction only", and it "could be interpreted as torture apologia" (a term i havent even heard before you talked about it), but it really is just that.

it might sound "bad" or "ignorant" but most people dont go digging for info or research studies before they go writing, and that's alright, most people write FOR FUN. as a hobby. not trying to think too hard about things, you know, just let out their thoughts, frustrations, emotions, all that shit. can it come across as ignorant? probably! but at the end of the day, it's just people writing for the sake of writing.

i really, REALLY respect you and your story and how much thought and research goes into it. i dont read all that "whump" shit, im mostly "in the community" for the art and pictures. your story was the only one that captivated me, and it's not for no reason. i WISH i could write the way you do. but... most people wont ever do all that for writing, for something they just do on their freetime as a hobby.

and believe me, ive been writing for 15+ years now. all that time its only ever been a hobby, ive never done research, i do it when i feel good, to feel good. and im not planning to release. most of these people on tumblr, in the "whump community", they dont plan on releasing. they just sharing their little stories with each other. as far as i can tell, there is no harm in it like you say in harry potter or batman, all that. these little stories wont make it out to the public. and im sure most people who write dont even upload their writing! (me included, hahaha.)

just saying. its not that deep:) keep doing you because you and your story is AMAZING, but just dont give too much time of your day to all these random "whump writers" who write shit you wouldnt wanna read anyways:))

serious here if you're this far gone in wilful ignorance i think i would like you to stop reading my content. i mean this genuinely. people like you are not part of the audience i wanna build ykwim

[banana-milk-enthusiast]

beat Forspoken, and while I probably will write an in-depth review down the line cuz i have many thoughts, I'm just going to pointform my basic thoughts while it's still fresh.

PROS

Great designs all around, the Tantas look so breathtaking with their extravagant designs and yet it doesn't take away from their world, it fits just right in. Absolutely love it.

Good world building most questions i had were answered either through the main story or extra archive stuff. Nothing felt too weird yknow

Gameplay gameplay gameplay. The magic system is literally amazing. I dont think I've had this much fun fighting in an rpg in a long time. Theres so much fun variety so you can focus on whats comfortable for you while also looking sick as fuck. Have i mentioned how good the battle system is cuz i avoid playing mage in every game because its such a slog but here its so fast paced and hits hard. Perfect for me.

The music is soooo good, I love the main theme and find myself humming it literally all the time.

Great graphics but maybe a lil too many particle effects but otherwise really pretty.

The story is technically a pro. Like its good, not bad, not great, just good. Basically something you'd find in the YA Fantasy section, thats the kinda quality it was. Which isn't a insult I did enjoy the story and characters. It just needed polish, fix up the dialogue and trim some of the story fat and i wouldn't have any complaints tbh. Probably would do better as a book series tho ngl, not sure what game format would have saved it.

Shoutout to the accessibility options. I'm glad more games are including these. I'll never understand complaints about them though, like just dont use them if you dont want/need to thats it.

ALMOST FORGOT THE COOLEST THING. THE NAILS. I'm sorry but the idea of using nail art to inscribe magic runes to give you buffs is the coolest fucking idea ever, why has this concept not been used till now. We always see rune tatoos or written on gear and stuff im fantasy media but this is such a neat ideaaaa and im forever thankful for it. Her capes are cool too I guess, with there was more variety rather than recolors tho. Kinda wish we could also get different outfits for her tho. Those jeans probably chafe.

CONS

THE OPEN WORLD IS SO BIG FOR NO GODDAMN REASON. I honestly wish this wasn't an open world game tbh, its so unnecessary. Halfway through the game, i got so frustrated and ignored everything that wasn't story points cuz getting everywhere takes so damn long, especially early on when you dont have fancy parkour or stamina. Easily its biggest fault for me.

I understand they thought it'd do way better than what happened but planning out a story as a trilogy in the gaming industry is not a smart move. I've yet to play the dlc so idk if we get closure but the loose ends werent a great way for the game to end.

Oh, the dialogue. Its easily one of the gamest weakest points. Like the type of dialogue i was writing in my original stories when i was 13 (not that ive gotten any better tbh). Basically, it's not what you expect from such a vaunted company. Frey is great when shes excited or angry, which is most of the time, but occasionally, they'll hit me with the cheesiest line I've heard in years, and idk how to handle it. Like the stuff she says in the final chapter is honestly so robotic, there is no natural flow present. Which is a pity cuz the actress was killing it tbh, like she definitely carried the lines with her emotion. Unfortunately, it couldn't save them. Like if it was something they dropped on ps3 or wii, it honestly would have done fine. What i mean to say is the dialogue is very outdated in this age of gaming. im actually surprised how out of touch it feels. Especially since otherwise its a solid game all around. Regarding Cuff and Frey banter you do have the option to make it less frequent or just turn it off but i never really found them annoying regardless.

Maybe its just me but the control scheme feels so weird, the games makes you feel like you should be gliding most of the time but holding O while spaming all those trigger buttons feels so awkward to me. But then again I also didnt care enough to change the control scheme so.

[shattersstar]

hate being a writer on here rant undercut bc u guys suck :)

kinda came to the realization that most of yall don’t deserve anything i have ever written or will write. the readership on this site can barely do its due diligence and expects art in return? yeah no thats sad and gross and i could delete this blog on a whim with no attempt to archive anything ive written and i would be in the right because yall have done little to deserve more than that from me

and if this feels personal than thats on u babe maybe reblog a fic of mine and leave a comment to feel better about yourself ?

its just so frustrating being a writer on this site, this blog is almost 5 years old ive been writing on here since i was 14 but that doesnt mean anything when i dont write smut or lean into fanon shit. and idk if i have ever said it on here but when it comes to dc i actively try to go against the grain of fandom takes bc im a petty person and bc they dont make sense especially if u read the comics.

which is huge gripe i have, i get comics suck most of the time but like. are u seriously reading my works without reading dc comics? because ill b real, u definitely don’t deserve to read what i write bc i try sooo hard to take nuances from the comics and put so much effort into understanding these characters as they are and as i think they should be and u cant even read whats not even inspiring me, but the world im literally writing in/about?

like maybe this is rude but i just dont know how yall can actively think u deserve art from creators when u cant even put the minimal amount of effort in and r always coddled in posts supposedly calling out readers for being lame like. im being straight up

u don’t deserve my writing unless u put the effort in to earn it and i can’t change that or who reads my stuff but i hope to god this eats u alive when u read anything of mine and choose not to interact <3

[classicjdiesandgoestohell]

people always joke about their fandom art doing 10x better than their oc work, which is frustrating and i get that, but it kinda sucks when that doesn't even apply to you. like ive been posting online in fandom spaces for 6 years and on tumblr, insta & twitter nothing i post has ever gained any significant traction. never more than 50 likes, and most of it is from my friends.

like, is my art /that/ unappealing that even people desperate for content of their favs won't like it? its so frustrating, especially when i am really proud of whatever the drawing is. i hold no malice towards beginners or anything but sometimes it does frustrate me that people with generally considered poor quality art do way better than my own. or people can do tiny shitty doodles and get hundreds of notes/likes, but my full pieces get nothing.

it seems all of my friends have had something blow up by now, but i haven't, and it's just frustrating. i quite like my art so im not really doubting my skill, is my art style just not good for fandoms????? I don't know. the only place ive done slightly better is tiktok, where i get 50-150 likes on average, and it reassures me a little bit caus people will comment and tell me it inspires them or it's their new fav which is always nice.

[evgenija01]

Okay so, I think I figured out why people masturbate when they cant sleep. Its because they start getting worried and upset and sad and they dont want to feel that way, I mean who does? And they masturbate because it gives them that rush and the goodie feelies!

Its a wednesday, or at least it was, and I cant seem to fall asleep. Im tired, Ive been tired all month but I dont feel comfortable in my bed, its too hot underneath the sheets and my mind is going so fast that I cant stay still.

I hate nights like this. When you cant find the root of your problem, so you just shift and turn in your bed. Even while writing this I cant seem to find a position suitable enough to do so! Ugh!!

This year was definetly something. I work on something and it takes the life out of me and then the result is very mediocre even though Ive poured my soul into it and then I get angry and disappointed and I say to myself "well okay, now youll take a break to do and enjoy the things you want to" and that time never comes. At first it feels like it has but then something snaps me back into thay cycle of creation and anger and it frustrates me even more and just makes me sad and, funnily enough, numb in the end. When something repeats itself so much, you get used to it. Ive realized that. Im used to not stopping and constantly moving, even now, vo niedno vreme, all my mind does is think and think and think and think. Its insane. Is this what life will feel like forever? If Im not worrying about my weight, Im worrying about my art, if not about my art, Im worrying about college, if not about college, Im worrying about my social life, if not that I worry about my period and when or if itll come this month! I hate it!! Its so annoying to function this way!! And I think the main thing that makes me frustrated the most is the fact that all of this is of my making, slef-inflicted, self-imposed!!! WHY AM I LIKE THIS??? Can I just calm down for a moment and enjoy the sun, or the people, or my morning coffee? Or the fact that my birthday is coming up, but that same fact scares me because it means Im getting older and that the future that I was supposed to take care of by now is growing nearer and nearer and Ive done nothing about it?!?!?

I should try meditating. Or drugs. One of those two seems to be a remedy these days. But Im not strong or interested enough in the ladder, so I might as well go with the former.

Tomorrow I have history in the morning. Then Im going to go to Suli An and print the last piece I worked on. And then after that I need to go check on the cats. And then after that we celebrate Emis birthday.

I am. So. Tired.

Good night??

[osmiumstack]

hi hailey!

what helps you stay motivated and keep drawing? i practice everyday but i wish i would improve faster and it gets frustrating sometimes lol.

your art is really wonderful and i love seeing it, thank you for sharing. i hope i can draw like you one day :3

ive been through burnout so much through doing art for school and i genuinely just do it as a hobby now. i am not studying art in college but i did a kind of intensive thing during high school where i had to narrow down what i was doing into a thesis statement. i would get burnt out during the summer because of this and it helped me determine that i didn’t want to do art as a profession.

dont get me wrong!!! it is super important to do the “boring” things to understand fundamentals, but these can come at any time. there isn’t a one size fit all approach to improvement. doing still lives and painting heavily based on observation has helped with being able to translate things onto paper, even though i really didnt like it at the time. i try to break down things into very simple shapes and build from there. some people use guide lines, it really is just about what works for you.

i think now i only draw things that are brainworms, i guess, so its enjoyable. my best advice is to keep it fun! having the drive to do it consistently is hard but keeping it fun and doing based on feel has helped me avoid burnout now. i’ve been fairly dedicated to drawing for 7+? ish years now which is actually crazy thinking about it. it comes with time!!! im still working the courage to start doing big paintings again, but i dont quite have the space to do it (physically and mentally). i do feel kind of silly just doing photostudies most of the time now, but i simply just dont have the gusto to tap into it while doing an engineering degree (save me).

if its any comfort, with all pieces ive done, not sure if its universal or not, there always is that awkward middle stage. not everything will be exact, but rolling with it is something i’ve learned and i think this has helped so much. there is beauty in imperfection and the ephemeral, and i always have been fascinated and afraid of the uncertainty of starting something. theres an awkward stage everywhere, think of it like art puberty ? im crazy. but maybe i am not.

tldr!!

keeping it fun and doing what feels good is a great way to keep the drive going, even though fundamentals are important. burnout isnt the end of the world, and the process of creating something has the potential be very personal and taxing. the most important thing for improvement imo is just keeping at it and celebrating the journey! the fact that you are chugging away at it is very lovely and i know you’re going to find your epic beautiful showstopping spectacular art swag! u probably already have it >:D

[doxiedreg]

Having the big mad because ive been extremely eepy tired constantly lately and its keeping me from doing the things i want to do including finishing an attack thats been in my wips for like a week now and also i had planned to attack more people but i probably wont get to them before the end of the fight and while yes i made peace with me attacking my friends after the fight randomly with art, i cant exactly do that with people i dont know well and art fight is only once a year and once its over ill have to wait a whole year until the next one and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i cri i mean i guess 25 (one in my wips and one revenge i am determined to do) illustrative pieces is still a lot but i had hoped to attack more people ;; But I just wasnt able to catch proper rest and also had some bad days, meaning i lost art time and just rdjkldgjgdf Its probably for the best that its soon over so i can be free of my disgruntlement and fully focus back on my world and ocs instead of side eyeing artfight and comparing myself to other artists who got more attacks done and staring longingly at the ocs i didnt get to and jsfdlfddfs Sorry i just had to rant Being too tired to fullfill tasks is one of the most frustrating things to my brain who always wants to be productive

[mbat]

look i KNOW i shouldnt be beating myself up about it but oh my gosh i get so excited for art fight and then it comes around and its like i cant draw at all and cant even motivate myself to. like yeah ive gotten 2 drawings done and posted and i drew most of a 3rd and yet i still feel like ive done nothing and ill get nothing more done. but like its also only halfway through the month

my goal was 5 drawings. like ive done half of that. idk why i feel like this

ive barely drawn this whole year tbh. like i drew the biggest drawing ive ever done (literally 20 characters with a background though it was unshaded) and a few more high effort drawings and then aside from that its been like. not much at all . why tho. like theres SO MUCH that i want to draw its insane. why cant i have motivation for it

idk im just ranting, like im just so frustrated about it. it doesnt help that drawing digitally feels like such a hard task even though it really isnt once i get into it. ive drawn all the art fights so far on paper and then digitized them (as i call it) and like. its not even hard so why do i dread it.

why does doing the thing i love feel like a fucking chore. like. im not even being forced to do it. aside from art fight, im not even putting huge pressure on myself to make art. the only reason im even pressuring myself to make art for art fight is because theres a time limit. but otherwise? i dont know. why does it feel like this.

i can write down story concepts and creature concepts and art concepts day and night but when it comes to actually writing out or drawing them, its like my soul tries to escape my body. like, fuck off.

i hate that all i can make myself do anymore is play video games and watch youtube. like, yeah of course i love doing that, but thats not the only stuff i want to do. there is so much in me just waiting to get out in the form of creation and its trapped by a lock and key that i didnt even put there.

[wollfling]

.

[harriertail]

This may be a weird question but bear with me. I follow a lot of artists, while some of them are older than me (+23) most are younger. Most of them also go to school or college or more. I'm incredibly busy all the time and I'm sure a lot of these people are too, yet they post art super fast! You too! Even though you don't post art every day you still post art on a monthly or weekly basis. It takes me literal years to finish one single image. How do you do it? Your artstyle is so complex and detailed, you do backgrounds too, how do you find the time to draw?

How do i find time? I dont do my uni work. Everyone jokes about work/social balance but im a terrible student and will prioritise my hobbies. Everything else takes a break. Whenever im at home im drawing tbh, especially this summer. I rarely do my uni work unless its exam season and i Have to so i just have time. When it comes to actually Drawing and the process… weirdly i was thinking about this the other day. I rarely start and finish a piece (unless its a comm lol) in the same day or even week and its frustrating so i feel u there. Recently ive been trying to finish pieces more quickly from first sketch to finished piece (after abel, little storm comic coming soon) but my avos covers and the clantober stuff and stuff on my main has been MONTHS in the making. I got wips dating back to 2019. Im super badly focused when drawing as well like ill jump between tabs but ive found that setting like goals in my notes app (to do lists) and only have one piece open at a time helps me (i usually have 10 pieces open that ill aim to get done and surprise nothing gets done). I also work really well when im hammered so if i get back around 2 ill draw till sunrise but thats not ideal if u have uni or work. //// I suppose my main advice is only have one thing open/working on, music or asmr or smth to help you focus, and being motivated by my own need to post content and get those fucking notes ngl. Sometimes if my heads really not in it ill go for a walk or run to clear my head before i sit down to draw. Discipline. Its like the gym, sometimes u have to drag urself. Sorry if thats the unpopular opinion but if you want something done its gotta get done!

[gar-trek]

ugh dont rb this is just me having a tumblrina moment and ranting about my art because i needed to get it off my chest lolllll

i literally hhhhattttteeee that im almost 22 and im like one million leages behind where i wish i was art wise. Like im still nowhere near happy with how i draw. I still hate pretty much everything i produce and i seriously have never posted a drawing i liked 100%. I always like certain parts, but most the time i cringe at the over all product. I also feel really bad about the fact that i have been drawing my whole life and i have had the opportunity to take art classes and stuff and im now even getting a BFA and like... bro i still suck? like what is this. its so weird because i always thought of myself as someone who loved art as a kid but then i look back at what i was making in highschool and middle school and its like so bad. and like i feel like right now im drawing at a middle school level its so frustrating. its like i love drawing a lot thats why i do it all the time but also i feel like i have zero natural inclination towards it and anywhere ive gotten skill-wise ive had to get there by clawing and fighting and trying really really hard. Its been a lot of taking two steps forward and one step back. I dont know man its just like maybe my talents lie elsewhere and Ive made a big mistake by trying so hard to pursue art when im just like not very good at it. And also my whole life ive felt really shy about showing people what I draw. its easier here and not face to face, but its still something people I know irl always tease me about, like "ohhh dude you are so secretive about what you draw, lolll why?" and its like i know it shouldnt be that deep and i should be able to show people but i just like cant. i cannot take pride in my work no matter what because i just dont think it looks good. idkkkk i guess no one is happy with what they make and if it seems like it they are probably just lying. I bet no one could even tell i hated my artwork so much because everytime i post i rb one million times but thats only becuase getting clout makes me feel a bit better about what Ive done. Overall i just wish i was way better at drawing. and like, this is something ive been trying to make happen for years and years now and im still unhappy. its so frustrating to look back at my stuff from like 5 years ago and see that i havent even improved that much. and it also frustrates me to see how much better all my peers are compared to me. I feel like im not doing enough to get better and im not getting better fast enough. okay rant over.