#its the funniest thing ever im obsessed

[crunchity-munchity]

My gf @bimbofromspace made this for me

[ponuchuu]

not genshin posting, i just wanna show off my boy.......

[stevethehairington]

winnie the pooh blood and honey 2 was SO MUCH FUN HDJSKDKDKFD

[conartisthaiji]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

u wanted commentary on five of my favorite fics right? that's exactly what u meant by "self-rec". in no particular order:

you took one look and now i'm not the same (haikyuu!, bokuaka & bg kuroken, 3.5k, coffeeshop au): i don't think i've written anything as funny as this. akaashi keeps ordering a drink he hates because he genuinely believes it's the only drink bokuto can make. bokuto may or may not know how to make other drinks besides hot chocolate. the kuroken subplot is the funniest shit i've ever written. i wish i could be as funny as dec 2021 lyz.

one more year (and then i'll want them all) (hibike! euphonium, kumirei, 1.9k, proposal fic): MANNNN this is so adorable and fluffy and soft (my specialties). not much to say about this one but she's special to me...like i do go back to it whenever i need a pick-me-up

i feel like a monster nobody can stop (always on my mind like autopilot) (third life/limited life, majorwood, 2.2k, canon-compliant): martyn was so much fun to write like i got really into his voice, and i hadn't ever written him before so i was a little surprised at how easy it was to write him? i had a lot of fun working with the tension of this particular piece, especially since tension is something that i personally struggle with writing! and this one really pushed me to keep it in as long as possible, and i'm ultimately really proud of the result.

(hopeless boy) seeking someone who will share this feeling (third life/limited life, nosy neighbors, 2.1k, canon-compliant): literally no one in the world understands the nosy neighbors the way i do. or bigb. the "he loves me, he loves me not" bit was the driving force behind the fic, and it's always so satisfying when a bit you imagined in your head comes out the way you envisioned! also pearl is always a pleasure to write.

and i'll never go home again (haikyuu!, oikita, 4.5k, semicanon-compliant): i bring up the oikita fic every moment i get, and there's a reason for that. i'm genuinely so proud of this one. stylistically it wasn't something i had a lot of practice writing (nonlinear narratives are, in my professional opinion, a pain), and i also leaned into a dreamy, less structured vibe, which is pretty different from the majority of my fics! i learned a lot while working on it this, and i'm really proud of how it came out.

[homosexuality-and-morphine]

Little coupley things Michael Mike and jack do (this ended up being a things they do in general too)

When they're around other people Mike always tries to act like hes not seriously considering grappling onto either Michael or jacks arm (in most instances it's jacks arm) while walking or something because he knows it's not seen as positively as just holding hands (he tries so hard to seem normal and has been for most of his life)

Michael tries to sit as close to them as he can to the point if they're just with friends he will literally sit on Mike or jacks lap even if there's plenty of chairs

Their wings feel different when the others touch them than if anyone else touched them and it's mainly to do with how gods angels and demons have "mates" and certain things are reserved for mates (like stroking the underside of their wings although that has an exception for family)

Mike barely takes care of his wings and whenever Michael sees mikes wings being messy he immediately makes Mike let him fix it and Mike ends up falling asleep

Jack finds anything they do cute, Michael just ate a serial killers organs in front of him? Wonderful! Mike just passed out and smacked his face into a table? Adorable also is he ok? They could do anything and say it's inspired by their love for him and he immediately goes "awee so romantic!" Even if it's making a heart of human intestines

Mike likes a random ass kids show that's in another language and constantly buys merch related to it but is embarrassed by it and hides everything under his bed but Michael and jack found out by accident by a stuffed animal poking out from under his bed (Mike tried to say it was Abby's or something but it was obvious it wasn't) and so they ended up getting him some merch they figured he didn't have and he got really embarrassed (again he tries to seem as normal as he can)

They hang out at Michael's house the most because everyone there was already used to Mike and jack before they officially got together but they sometimes hang out at mikes and never hang out at jacks because Michael and Dave may have some... Issues (Michael would probably stare at Dave menacingly)

Mike ends up getting super hot in the middle of the night because of his ice powers fucking with his temperature tolerance but doesn't move to try and get cooler because most of the time Michael is attached to him like a parasite and he wouldn't dare wake anyone up because he knows how bad waking up in the night affects people (he just has sleep issues and a lot of people can function normally if they wake up in the middle of the night but any little bit of waking up in the middle of the night even for a few seconds makes it hard to function in the morning/all day)

If they ever went to a carnival or something jack would immediately try and win Michael the biggest prize they have and try to get Mike something he'd like because Mike doesn't like bigger things and is content with small plushies but Mike and Michael would focus on getting the kids stuff and the kids would insist on them getting something for jack

Jack and Jackie have tried to have Mike and Michael try and guess who is who but Jackie stands with more weight on one foot and jack tends to kind of sway back and forth while standing so they know who is who easily

Michael has dressed them up in dresses and Mike tolerated it for Michael but Mike absolutely hated wearing dresses at any time he ever has but jack thrives on doing embarrassing shit to get a laugh out of someone (he also enjoys the embarrassing stuff because he's probably done worse at some point) but Michael noticed Mike hated the dresses so he ended up making less dress like things to have Mike wear

Michael's hobbys are art baking and making clothes mikes hobbys are watching the kids how I mentioned earlier and sleeping jacks hobby is being a weirdo /pos (he literally has no clue what to do in his free time other than whatever someone else wants to do although he'd probably make a garden if he realized he doesn't have to live by everyone else's activities)

Jack gets anxious if he's not hanging out with someone while they're doing something else so Mike and Michael drag him along to things they like to do even if it's for jack to sit there and look pretty (jack is very content to hold a single pin for Michael while he makes clothes as long as he feels like he's being useful)

Mike seems annoyed whenever Michael tries to crawl all over him or when jack flirts with him but he actually really wants to bury his face into their chests while they hold him and talk about whatever they want to for hours (unlike Michael he doesn't know how to drop his mask of "normal guy" with anyone and not even when he's alone because "what if someone just walked in right now and saw me acting not normally")

Sometimes mikes "normal guy" mask slips and he ends up rambling about something for about and hour and Michael will just be looking at him with all of his attention (which is hard to get from Michael because he absolutely will turn to look at something if it sounds like it could be cool) and then when Mike realises he's been rambling he'll apologize and get embarrassed but Michael will try and get Mike to continue but Mike has already forgotten what he was talking about (Michael loves hearing literally anyone ramble about something they really like but he rarely adds anything to the conversation unless the person wants him to and he knows if he tries to add anything to whatever Mike is talking about he will immediately stop)

They're probably all different flavors of nurodivergent but because I'm only diagnosed with anxiety I don't feel like I can really give them any other diagnosis without accidentally being offensive (I probably wouldn't be but I really don't want to on accident)

Michael likes to wrap his wings around Mike and jack and also hold their tails with his and because he takes really good care of his feathers his wings are always really soft and are enjoyable for Mike and jack to feel and he knows it (he likes stroking his own wings because of how they feel)

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

Hi it's 2:30 am and I'm back on my bullshit /ref Anyway I knew Moke was like a very good gamer and shit but I didn't know he could code too? Cool! Also- “Piko why are you programmed to do stage shows if you aren't a module that does it????” “Oh yeah that was one of the torture methods” “The. The what. Piko what do you mean I'm concerned” “did your company *not* have torture methods?” “NO??????” -🌟

ok i realize now that i dont think the good at coding is necessarily 100% canon (i think i was just thinking back to dirt-eating boy because ive been listening to that lately), but given his 168 IQ and internet habits i wouldn't b surprised; good to know some basic code at least if ya wanna mod shit you get me?

ALSO WAIT BACK UP WHY IS THE STAGE SHOW A FORM OF TORTURE?? HUH? is it like too hard on his mechanisms or something??

[iireneleee]

MY FAVOURITE PLACEMENTS FOR EACH SIGN (with explanation of course 😚😚)

remember, don’t take this too seriously cause this whole thing is fully based on my own personal opinion so im sorry if I didn’t mention your placement(s). don’t be offended okay?! MUAH I love all of yall 💋

Aries: I’d probably say 50% venus 25% moon 15% sun — honestly this is kinda hard for me cause my best best friend is an Aries moon and I get along very well with Aries moons however… this one girl that I broke off all contacts with cause she was obsessive ( she still hasn’t stop💔💔 even though we stopped talking for 2 years, super creepy) 50% venus because omg literally almost every single lovely person I know has that placement it’s mad. maybe it’s bc my venus conjuncts theirs (I’m also an aries venus) they express love in a way I adore so 💕💕 for aries sun, 25% because I’m only close with one aries sun but she’s literally so fly I love. but she says some weird stuff occasionally though she’s too unfiltered HAHAHA love that.

Taurus: definitely taurus moon 50% and taurus mercury 50% — taurus moons are literally the cutest people ever. idk why but all of y’all are like little hamsters in my eyes. taurus moons remind me so much of hamsters. many of you are probably leaders and I love being around you guys. super sweet and always there when I need y’all muah muah. people always stereotype you guys as lazy people but every single taurus moon I know are the most hardworking people ever. super admirable individuals 😚😚 those who have natal taurus mercury people are the funniest. y’all are like LOWKEY old souls. very good people to be in a group project with cause they always voice out the best opinions and ideas. they are also really relatable individuals they say things that many people would like relate to idk how to describe it, meme worthy i guess?? I love y’all so much. sometimes they ignore people when they say stupid stuff but whatever they’re literally one of the best people so they get a free pass.🤫🤫

Gemini: mmmm I’d say 50% gemini suns and 50% gemini risings. honestly, I haven’t met many gemini placements 😭 my sister is a gemini rising so i might be a little biased HAHAH sorry my bad my bad. i love gemini risings they always give me one of the best first impressions. i tend to get along really well with gemini risings and tend to gravitate towards them hehe. also for gemini suns, most are pretty cool. i realise that gemini suns tend to be really nice and grounded when you meet them but when you get closer to them they’re little devils IN A GOOD WAY hahah. all my interactions and memories with gemini suns are actually really good. they always promise a good time 🙏🙏

Cancer: CANCER VENUS🔥🔥 for sure cancer venus. omg i love them. they give really good hugs LOL. super sweet individuals. i love the way they express their love it’s so cute especially when you’re the recipient of the love literally so 😍😍. one of my friends have this placement and oml she gives such meaningful gifts. she is the reason why I have high expectations for gifts LOL. i really hope i get to befriend more cancer venuses 💔💔 they’re really thoughtful people who take initiative very very lovely 🫶

Leo: leo moons 🙏🙏 y’all are so chill. literally are the 😐 people ITS SO FUNNY . I love y’all so much I always have ‘beef’ with leo moons lol literally tom and jerry but it’s so fun. bickering (affectionately) I know I lot who don’t study but r really smart or at least all of y’all tell me you don’t study😐😐 I know a lot of you guys who r dancers too and omg really pro dancers srs srs. super fun people but they lowkey about it.

Virgo: definitely virgo sun + virgo venus I have so many virgo sun babes (aka friends) they’re so so sweet. im always having a fun carefree time when im with you guys. never a dull moment. you guys are like my babies srs srs you guys just gave me that youthful feel and it’s so refreshing omg🫂🫂. virgo venus people are so funny idek why they’re so underrated. they’re also very big mouth literally tell them something humiliating that happen to you and if it doesn’t sound like you’re very bothered by it trust people around you probably also know about it BUT it’s okay cause they cute, I can never get mad at them. also very playful people. 💋💋 i love talking to them but at the end of the convo omg we are like probably fighting / arguing (affectionately) LOL i don’t get many gifts from them honestly but they LOVE to give food. hehe 💋💋 to my virgo venus sweethearts

Libra: libra suns + libra moons so 50 - 50 hehe libra suns are really helpful people. they’re like honestly very libra idk why. they’re so so sweet, always there to listen to you ramble. my mama is a libra sun and omg she’s always listening to me ramble and rant ITS SO FUNNY. sometimes you guys are too nice to people that they tend to take advantage of your kindness so always be on the look out and know your worth 😚😚 . libra moons ARE SO FUNNY. i love you guys, y’all always make me lose my breath over your jokes. super random people who talk about out of pocket things but it’s so unique and fun with you guys that I can’t help but laugh everytime i see yalls face. also pretty smart people. you guys always do your best in things that you’re passionate about and it’s really admirable however, when y’all dgaf about stuff man all that quality work is gone LOL but it’s okay me too. best people to have around y’all remind me of those circus seals. 🔥🔥firee

Scorpio: scorpio venus — I really love scorpio venus individuals omg. they’re always there for you and always ready to attend all your big moments without fail. I had this one friend who has a scorpio venus and she take time out of her own busy schedule to train me for my interview and we stayed at the place until like the sunset it was so wholesome. not only did she do that but she was with me when I got my interview results like I was so shocked I thought she stayed cause she also had something to do afterwards but turns out she had nothing to do and she planned to wait for me and leave right after omg i literally melted. I treasure her so much and because of that I’ve always had a good impression of her. super sweet individuals. little cinnamon buns, warm and sweet. they also really are big on physical touch cliché I know but it’s real HAHA. everyone should have a scorpio venus friend or significant other 😭😭💋💋

Sagittarius: sagittarius moons — out of all my close friends in my click, half are sagittarius moons, it’s literally mad. they’re such unique individuals all of them have different personalities even though they have the same moon. but one thing they all have in common is that they find the weirdest stupidest unfunniest jokes funny. it’s mad. I can pull out a photo of a cat on the ground holding a fish and they’d be cracking up like mad. they all really enjoy being around positive and responsible people, people who are like them. they always burst out laughing idk y they try to hold their laugh but they never laugh normally. I love them though it’s always so comfortable around them MUAHHH💋💋

Capricorn: capricorn moons + capricorn mercury 50-50 — omg my baby capricorn moons, they’re so athletic, or maybe it’s just the capricorn moons I know but omg they’re so competitive when it comes to sport. they’re actually really reliable people even though they may seem quite playful and reckless. they tend to be good at math. love food. they also like to make handmade things for their friends and it’s really random. sometimes I come out of class one day and they just ask me if I want a cookie. LOL and one of my friends gave me a piece of paper that she doodled and drew on FOR ME it’s so cute and random but makes me physically like become the 🥺 emoji. love u guys. for capricorn mercuries y’all have the most underrated humour YALL ARE SO FUNNY LOL. you guys make the funniest jokes with the straightest faces like this face, 😐. MAKES ITS EVEN FUNNIER LOL. y’all tend to text a lot and are quite talkative actually. love you guys cause you guys never hesitate to make the conversation about the other party rather than yourself LOL JOKING ( but FR though you guys make me feel like the main character whenever I’m talking to u ) 🫂🫂

Aquarius: mmm i haven’t really befriended many who have aquarius placements so this may not be relatable😭😭 sorry!! but I’ll have to go with aquarius moons. — I tend to get attracted to aquarius moons cause they seem really fun. idk why but they all seem like a ball of sun to me. they remind me of fluffy cows HAHAH. they’re really cool individuals and they’re really kind. super sweet people who are always willing to help you and take initiative LOVE THEM💕💕. wish I get to know more aquarius moons, they’re just so loveable and reliable. 🫶🫶😚

Pisces: pisces moons 50% + pisces risings 25% + pisces mercury 25%💕💕💕 — OMG pisces moons BRUU literally my babes. I love them so much. they’re always there to help. they’re really responsible people even though they like to have fun. best people to have for group projects. they’re also really good at putting themselves in other peoples shoes hence making them very good at comforting others. very good friends that would do anything for you. they tend to radiate the same energy you give them so always give your best to them for you to receive the best💪💪 for pisces risings, I just really like they’re features. they all give like a reserved energy and many people would think that they’re really high achievers and admirable people with a cute face HEHE. they’re really sweet and awkward at first but once you get to know them omg it’s a huge difference they’re little devils LOLOLOL (in a good way🤫🤫) I tend to have many pisces rising friends maybe cause their rising is in my seventh house but 😚😚 whatever. they’re little choco pies, random ik but it just fits their whole persona . pisces mercuries are really chill people who like to talk. I love them so much cause like tend to relate to one another a lot and i just love to talk to them because they’re so easy to talk to. just pull out a random topic and they would prob be able to talk about it, very versatile speakers. also, they don’t really share their opinions at times. like sometimes i want to eat something with them but their whole face writes “no that looks disgusting” so I ask them if they’re sure that they’re fine with the restaurant and they say that they’re fine but they’re not really fine LOLOLOL they’re so cute HAHAH love them. they always put others before themselves.

made by: @iireneleee

[callistosposts]

What r ur thoughts on the new solarballs episode this week,,,if ur willing to answer (what if the planets were ordered by size)

im litearlly obsessed with it its not even funny i saw the preview before it came out and already was vibrating with excitement for it😭

i absolutely adore how the new orbits are messing with their regularities

the way neptunes smart and BRITISH?!? which implies Neptune lost his accent after going insane ?!? thats the funniest thing ever

JUPITER BEING INSANE NOW??? i said it before but i hope he gets more insane as the episodes progress ALSO I HOPE HE INTERACTS WITH PLUTO?!?! begging begging begging

im also obsessed with the sun pulling out greek mythology and calling Mars 'Ares' like hes a dad pulling out his kids full legal names when they're in trouble 💀

its also so cute to see Mars worried about Earth❗ theyre best friends your honor, I love them, meanwhile Mercury just wants Mars . full stop

MY ONLY PROBLEM IS NOT SEEING MY BOY VENUS!!!! i miss him already ,,, I wanna see him in the goldilocks zone, hes probaly having war flashbacks

[breathe-2am]

118 Blunt Rotation Headcanons

Bobby: does not partake, but the ultimate trip sitter. Keeps the chaos generally controlled, but finds everything very funny, in a i-will-tell-you-about-this-tomorrow-and-you-will-cringe kind of way. Disappears for an hour and come back with homecooked food, everyone is beside themselves in gratitude. Starts telling a funny story about this one time he Smoked Pot, but about halfway thru he along with everyone else realizes its not funny and is probably something he should talk to that twink priest about.

Hen: laughs at EVERYTHING. Finds a random object like a ballpoint pen or a half full bottle of water and its THEE most fascinating thing shes EVER seen. Gets up to go to the bathroom, doesnt come back, when they go looking for her shes just staring at herself in the mirror. Very in her feels abt how she loves her friends. Says she needs to change shirts at one point bc she hates the fabric actually. Comes back in an entirely different outfit.

Chimney: a yapper. Every thought in his brain is out his mouth. Running commentary of the happenings. Jokes make less and less sense but hen finds them funnier and funnier. Talks with his hands to a dangerous extent. Eating whatever bobby made w his fingers, which is not a good combination when he gestures too wide and flings it at bucks face. He thinks this is the funniest thing that happened all night bc buck doesnt even react.

Buck: Out of everyone here, hes got the most experience in a blunt circle (youre going to look at me and tell me that im wrong? He had frosted tips and lived in a FRATHOUSE dawg) but hasnt been a smoke weed everyday bitch in a while so when he does he thinks his tolerance what it used to be. It isnt. Man is FLAVOR BLASTED he is SCHWASTED. Cant talk bc hes giggling while staring vacantly at the ceiling. Zones out, resurfaces to drop a random fact related to a conversation that was happening ten minutes ago, and hes gone again.

Eddie: Eats bobbys food and cries bc its delicious. Laughs at chinmeys jokes and cries bc hes so funny. Stares at hen and cries bc shes so beautiful. Thinks abt chris and cries bc he loves him so much. Buck is absentmindedly petting his hair to calm his tears and cries bc his best friend is so kind. Has to get up but doesnt want to bc the floor is so comfy. I love you bitchessss this is the year im gonna get my SHIT togetherrrrrrrrr what r these floors made of theyre so niiiiiiiiiiiice.....

Maddie: obsessive abt the Vibe, keeps getting up to turn on or off a lamp bc it was too bright but now its too dark. Perched in a mountain of pillows and blankets, keeps readjusting bc she has to b Maximum Comfy. Changes the song a minute in when its 'not the vibe'. Pulls out the most out of pocket story about buck as a kid but hes not even absorbing whats going on so she doesnt feel bad. Shes trying to rest her head on chinmeys shoulder but hes moving too much and shes getting annoyed.

Karen: the funniest bitch in the room. Monologuing abt space, which segues to robotics, which segues to government, which segues to capitalism, which segues to how they need to go to the beach RIGHT NOW. Hens looking at her like that twink boutta pounce meme. Sings along w the song playing, starts bitching at maddie bc she skipped it. Talking abt the sanctity of the playlist and respecting the music, but then says 'wait i hate this song' and commanders the spotify, she and maddie have a tug of war over the phone.

Tommy: touchy feely bitch. Started sitting next to buck but at some point graduated to trying to sit in his lap but now hes just sprawling across him like a weighted blanket. Voice has no inflection. He and chimney start excitedly talking abt a bad movie only they have seen and it goes on for way too long bc he starts chattering abt two characters he thinks should have ended up together. Eventually is just laying there curled up with buck, he realizes he loves his life and the people in it, has a little Moment.

Athena: does not partake, remind them that drug testing is a thing in their line of work, has Choice Words when the phrase California Sober is dropped. Taking pics for blackmail. Despite all that, she makes sure everyone is alright and helps bobby clean up. The next morning she makes coffee for everyone, and when people complain abt their backs or necks hurting she says 'thats what you get for sleeping on the floor'.

[sakotisssss]

ranking of yugotalia ships?

im gonna do the most common ones + some rare pares

serbcro

sorry so basic but it’s just too good. they both are just so toxic it actually ends up working. they match each other’s freak but not in a good way. but it’s very interesting and i like thinking about how different their dynamic would be at different points of history. its different than serbbos because there isnt a clear power dynamic and i think they are both equally fucked up but in different ways. they dislike each other, but partily because they're way more similar than you'd think. to both of their dismay, they can understand each other in ways no one else can. this is only if its done right, i dont wanna see drazen as the twink and vuk as super manly. thats just not them.

2. serbmace

this is the only serbia ship (and general yugo ship) i dont see as insanely toxic. i think it would only be a short time thing, probably during the balkan wars before ww1 but generally they have good relations and i think vuk would enjoy being the protector and mace being protected. but i also think she's the only one that can make him shut up. its just so cute, both of them having like a small crush on each other throughout time and i think they'd work well.

3. croslo/serbmonte

im putting them in the same catagory because i feel kind of the same way about both of them. i think these are two ships that historically would work great, with cro and slo growing up together and monte always kind of wanting to be "one" with serbia. however, i feel both monte and slo are just fed up with the two of them in the modern day and do not get along at all. but the reason its not higher up is because i feel like this works better as a sort of sibling type of relationship rather than romantic. a lot of the times monte and slo cant stand serb/cro but at the end of the day they grew up together and both cro and serb kind of consider them their only genuine friend. still one of my favorite dynamics to read about

4.

sloserb

this ship is hilarious i support it. i lowkey feel the same about bosslo

4. bosherze

okay unpopular opinion, i know i know. i really do like the ship, i think its really cute especially in ottoman times with enis trying to constantly rizz up idriza and eventually her falling for him. i like how he's overly affectionate and she secretly loves it. he def wants to be the protector but idriza really is. but WOW is this ship toxic, especially in modern day, and in a more tragic way. the fact that they really dont like each other nowdays just doesnt sit right with me, and the bad beef between them is quite recent and personal. its intresting tho, two people that were forced together and ended up falling for each other only to be torn apart 30 years ago and now back to really disliking the other but still forced to be together. its genuinaly tragic, but i think its probably the ship that is the funniest. the scenerios of them make me laugh so hard, this ship is like a black comedy. both of them deserve better as enis just hasnt really been ever treated right and idriza literally has to run the entire house and gets no credit for it (ofc she's bitter). fr its the parents that should have divorced a long time ago.

5. monteherz

@danidandandadididan put me on to this and im obsessed. they would be such a better match, but history just didnt let that happen. sad.

6. montemace

ehhhh

7. monteslo

tall masc guy with tiny twink. boring and overdone. next.

8. crobos

no, would not work. they literally cant go two seconds without backstabbing each othe and its just ehhh. their friendship is really funny though

9. serbos

no, just no. unlike serbcro, where they've both traumatized each other, serbos is just a complete power imbalence. they have a lot of bad blood, and unlike serbcro have always been on oppisite sides. this is just vuk traumatizing enis. not a fan from a historical or a ship perspective. it just icks me out.

[charliemwrites]

obsessed with keeper simon, drooling over and kissing every wrinkle in ur brain

i wanna know how simon reacts when you just huff and keep tossing and turning in ur bed. and when you slowly stomp over and clamber into his warm lap, curling into a little ball, absorbing his warmth. "don't say a word about this, its just because im tired of ny bed." "of course, love."

as someone who already has feral tendencies, i can relate so much to this reader who wants to bite and steal and chuffs like a cat

i can imagine reader slowly getting needy for his touch, deciding to do something "nice" for him (she bakes him a cake that says i dont dislike you or something) so that she gets head scratches and pets for being just so good for simon

i think i want head scratches and belly rubs

He’s absolutely delight. Lives by the same rule as if a cat were sleeping on him. If you fall asleep on him or with him, he won’t move an inch until you wake up on your own. He could be in the most uncomfortable position ever and he’d tough it because you’re snuggled up to him without snarling or scowling or biting.

The funniest thing is you don’t even have to bake him a cake, you get whatever you want regardless. You could spend all day hissing and spitting and biting and scratching and he’d just give you space and ignore your attitude

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 15

welcome the the fifteenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  

1. there, nestled against his pulse by @hiuythn

stop why are you doing this to me stop it stop it stop--

klance soulmate au where your right wrist has the first words your soulmate says to you, and the left holds the last words they'll say to you. super sad, so much angst, and i've been informed it'll make you sob until you choke.

1. there, nestled against his pulse (the main story, from Keith's POV) 2. this is what love looks like: (tnahp from Lance's POV + 38k of sequel content) 3. roll credits (deleted/extra scenes and additional headcanons)

okay. i am so desperately obsessed with this fic, i was obsessed with it the first time i read it and im obsessed with it now. and yes i know i did all hiuythn fics last week and i promise i wont this week. BUT i have a set of comments associated with this fic bc it is Just That Good and so i shall present them to u now:

- literally the funniest characterization of shiro i’ve ever read. this shiro is gay and tired. this shiro unironically and frequently says “move. i’m gay” and gets away with it at the garrison. this shiro has been through A Lot and just wants to fucking retire - allura here is so so funny she’s such a badass. she’s giving “i love shiny things! like the shine of your spilled blood on the floor if you say that dumb shit one more fucking time!!” we stan a queen. - coran is a Mood. this man is desperately trying to reign in four teenagers and two young adults and just wants to go to bed and also he cares for them all so so much. ultimate dad - pidge is Mischief Personified. she is a brat and i adore her. she’s here to cause problems and by god she will succeed - hunk is so done it’s so fucking funny. “that’s literally impossible.” he’s a genius and he knows it, he’s glad to call you out on your bullshit. he doesn’t even TRY to pretend he can keep a secret and/or handle drama god what a mood - don’t even get me started on klance!! they’re so funny omg. the banter is EXQUISITE. lance and keith adore each other so much and they’re so badass. literally the coolest power couple fight scenes ever to be made, i do adore. gosh. and the ROMANCE they are so devoted to each other i’m emotional - honourable mention of lance’s legs and keith’a Soft Squishy Feelings that are mentioned so often that they’re characters. iconic. all in all, the best way to describe this series is Gay and Tired. i love it and i’m sad to see it end. i will be rereading it an embarrassing number of times. infinity/10

2. all the little things by @jilliancares

Or: 5 times Keith let Lance get away with things that he'd never let anyone else do, and 1 time Lance realized that he was, apparently, special

oblivious lance will always be funny to me. and the idea of keith just letting lance get away with Everything and Everyone knowing how whipped he is except for lance himself?? peak humour. never not funny

3. Full Disclosure by @dragonomatopoeia

Keith is impulsive and straightforward when it comes to most things, and emotions are no exception. It's no surprise, then, that when he realises that he might have developed a crush on Lance, he tries to tell him immediately. Unfortunately, it's very hard to account for both circumstance and who Lance is as a person.

Alternatively: Four Times Keith Tried to Confess and One Time Lance Actually Understood

more 2016 eliteness!! this fic is hilarious. and also its number one selling quality is that all of the characters are trans and nd i literally love that for them. nonbinary hunk loml

4. catch me, before i fall by @pastelrainbow

‘We are a good team.’

Even now, just recalling the way Lance had smiled as the words left his lips, made Keith’s heart race and his cheeks redden. Lance had never looked at him so fondly before. No boy ever had. The thought of it made a sigh escape his lips and Keith hunched his shoulders, a pout tugging his lips downwards.

Curse my weak gay heart.

-

a what if keith caught lance outside his cryo-pod.

the idea of keith being a suave casanova with more game than aphrodite herself but immediately going bright red and hissing when shiro teases him. peak dynamic. absolutely nailed siblings 

5. of demons and dates by spartona (faveour)

Three times Keith scares Lance shitless with his ghost shenanigans, and one time Lance tries to retaliate.

first of all. BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE. second of all. the  “we’ve BEEN dating u dumbass ily” trope is so funny to me. i will never get over it

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[officialpenisenvy]

this is probably tame compared to the other stuff you've gotten but I have this emotionally incestuous dynamic with my dad that is genuinely funny. we've gotten mistaken as a couple so many fucking times even though I'm a very young adult and he's an old man but for some reasons people think im his girlfriend (even though we look the same) and even our other relatives sometimes bring up the fact that we're obsessed with each other (like one time his aunt said he was in love with me and then clarified she meant "platonically".ok. and my grandma always brings up how we only seem to gaf about each other) especially my mother who is very annoyed by the situation but seems to have kind of accepted it.

Plus in my teens years he sporadically grabbed my ass or commented on how hot I was (???) and the insane thing is that he probably doesn't even believe its offensive or predatory but he thinks he's complimenting me so whatever. The one thing that fucks me up the most though is that sometimes he said genuinely heartbreaking shit about the two of us when he though i wasnt listening. like a few years ago when i was still in hs I said I was going to bed early but couldn't sleep and heard him talk to my mother about how he felt like I was the only one who truly understood him and that I was the only person he knew who felt so attached to some things as he did,and how he felt like no one not even his parents (or his wife apparently) had ever been so emotionally close to him. he said allat basically unprompted while my mom was like "ok sure" and I was in my bed crying thinking damn he's my soulmate fr 😭😭

anyways sorry for how long this got lmao I love yapping. the funniest thing is that I believe I'm pretty well adjusted and I don't gaf that much about incest just him and no one else. I don't even wanna fuck him or nothing just get closer and closer to him until we're the same person which we practically are already. aside from him I'm mostly attracted to women lol

oh this is insane fr anon are you familiar with caro. @malevolent-eunuch is this your mimetic double or something

but no i love hearing daughters talk about their borderline incestuous codependent relationships with their fathers it's always some of the most poetic and passionate love descriptions you'll ever hear some straight up soulmate shit. im very sorry it's happening to you but also you are statistically very likely to make great art about it if it doesn't make you lose your marbles. you should consider writing a memoir or something

[jovenshires]

soooo.... not to be obviously obsessed like i always am but if you would like to divulge even a little bit of what the spomny dynamic looks like in battle of the bands... i would be VERY interested/lh

so. SO. so--

so spommy is kind of rivals-to-lovers in this au again but this its more like. spencer is like "oh yeah that's lead singer of ftc tommy bowe he's cool and pretty" and tommy is like "my Archnemesis Spencer Agnew i will DESTROY you" and spencers like. "oh!" KNDLKKNLFNLK like spencer did not know it was this deep. and honestly it's really not, tommy's just petty. you ever just see someone do/say something and its not REALLY a mean thing about you but it feels like a slight and it gets under your skin and builds. yeah. very him. (im not projecting you are.)

but the funniest thing is that they've only met Extremely briefly before and so they're also basically strangers. tommy just has this parasocial rivalry based on nothing. and also the chosen (spencer band) is like pretty famous and successful atp and one of the frontrunners to win botb so tommy is like. not on my watch! so yeah he's trying to cartoonishly kill spencer tom and jerry style. meanwhile spencer is like "bro what did i do........ please be my friend" and eventually tommys like. oh you're actually. not a shithead. okay.

its a pretty quick turnaround between tommy ignoring him and when they're like hanging out one-on-one and being besties. and then of course tommy's like. shit. god damn it. bc he doesn't want to date another singer that sounds like the fucking worst idea bc all other singers are terrible and shitty. but not this goofy lil guy!

skimmin some details that, if i ever Write A Fic for it, will be spoilers. but that's the gist ! kind-of-rivals and then friends and then lovers my beloved!

[lanaactuallyabanana]

Sooo, Kenzie texted me and was like: "Can you request this from Lana for me?" and I was, "I got you." And sooo, she was wondering if you were able to do some roommate Ranboo headcannons with a female reader? Some little details is the reader is a shop-a-holic, usually leaving to go grab something from one store, and bringing home a ton of items. Also lots of sticky note reminders around the apartment for stuff the reader needs to purchase when she goes back out cause she'll tend to forget to get stuff she actually needs and will come home with random stuff. And yes, reader will get Ranboo stuff they want or stuff they eyed too long at the store, or just surprised them.

Take your time on it! Remember to eat, rest, drink lots of water, and have fun with the writing!! Feel free to delete if you're not comfortable doing it!

-Jackieee <3333 & Mackenzieeee :))))

THIS IS AMAZING. SO CREATIVE. kenzie ur so silly billy + ily both mwah

, you're so forgetful !

ranboo x fem!reader (platonic)

!! roommate (platonic, dont make it weird.) headcanons ahead !!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n notes !!

I LOVE HEADCANONS YIPPEE

especially from my favorite mooties jackie and kenzieee <3

ok but srsly the ask literally described me

like i will literally catch myself going to target or something to buy like laundry detergent and come back with a goddamn pillow

like i am a victim of that (#freelana)

fic headcanons !!

i feel like ranboo would be the type of person to buy only what they need from a store and thats it

but y/n is the complete opposite so its the funniest thing ever

especially since they're roommates.

ranboo would probably be the one to go out to the store if they both needed something

when they first moved in together, they both needed mouse pads for their streaming setup but ranboo was busy editing so y/n went shopping for him

long story short y/n came back with a smoothie blender

"i asked you to buy a mouse pad."

"uh yeah i know, its right here silly. OOH LOOK IT COMES WITH A RECIPE BOOKLE-"

dw they ended up using the smoothie blender (cooking stream wowsies)

along with buying random stuff, y/n is also incredibly forgetful

like worse than ranboo 2020-2021 enderman dream smp lore era type of forgetful. so essentially really bad.

ranboo has this weirdly massive stash of sticky notes in their desk, which comes in handy!

ran leaving little notes for y/n all around the house

in y/n's bathroom, on their streaming setup, on their nightstand in their room, EVERYWHERE.

"can you stop leaving sticky notes everywhere, its like a nightmare."

"i'll do that as soon as you start to remember to get the right things."

"so that won't be for a while i assume.."

the sticky notes would be super sweet though

"y/n, buy ____ soon !! :)" or something

def has a smiley face somewhere on that sticky note

OR A CROWN TO SIGN THE STICKY NOTE OFF

while y/n has a shopping problem, sometimes that problem can be a solution.

ranboo's def not a good shopper for themselves, but y/n def is and knows what they want/like.

y/n buying little things for ran everytime they go out

ranboo doesnt know how to react each time they do that cause for they never expect it

forgetful y/n is very silly and i love it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

this is so cute!!!!! im obsessed with this RAHHHHH

thank you so much to kenzie and jackie (@catswithroses) for this request!! love u guys smsmsmsmsm xoxo mwah <3

hope u guys enjoy!

requests are open !!

[threehuskiesinatrenchcoat]

It's me again, the one who said he was gonna write a makarov/graves fic (i have not yet)

tbh I do think graves x makarov is an amazing rarepair/crackship bc its just so funny pls its peak evil men yaoi like?? They could meet on a mission or smt and makarov has an anime style nosebleed bc oh no he's hot!!!

But anyways I need plot ideas I have base elements of characters and plot down but I think I need ur expert advice on being the one person who makes content of a ship bc the current graves/makarov fics are not it their all oneshots and the only continuous one is pretty angsty so

I definitely want makarov to get tazed at some point tho so let me know what u think this is so disorganised oml

ngl im wheezing at both "i want makarov to get tazed" and "they're peak evil men yaoi" bold of u to say i make content (well, of _A_ ship sure) bc i made like 2 (two) posts abt them lmao but lmao sure im on board i love ur idea abt makarov instantly being Down Bad it's the funniest thing ever especially in his circumstances. not like "oh hell yeah i want him", but "fucking hell. oh god. oh no. i think i want him"

i also feel like he would be kind of a jerk about this? mostly to save his own ego tbh. like, he def wouldn't show that _he's_ down bad, he's gonna act all high and mighty abt it like it's graves who should be grateful for the attention, in a "ur so lucky _i_ think ur hot" kinda way i also feel like graves would see right through that and try to lowkey bully him about it. like, makarov is not as subtle as he thinks he is and it's obvious he's a little (a lot) obsessed and graves finds it hilarious.

tbh i think they'd both be insufferable and enable each other's worst qualities <3

idk about specific plot ideas, what did u have in mind?? the idea abt them meeting on a mission kinda instantly made me think of makarov being obnoxiously flirty (in his own weird way) which kinda leaves graves a little puzzled like "does he want to kill me so bad, is he ??flirting??, or is he just.... like that"

they could meet on neutral ground afterwards? idk if you wanted the makarov getting tased thing comedic or serious but i just can't get the image of him falling victim to graves being paranoid out of my head and coming to his senses tied to a chair with graves like "ok what the fuck are you doing in my hotel room u freak??????"