#its supposed to be just a small scene with a brief dialogue | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chiimmchiimm · 5 years ago

Text

❝ 𝓢𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓶𝓸𝓸𝓷 !¡ 𝒿𝓀 ❞

The largest herd on the entire East Coast would have a new leader. Qualities were of utmost importance to them, a good alpha had to possess a sense of justice and a beta woman to augment his legacy. Jungkook's parents had accepted their marriage since before he was born. The second strongest family, the Lightwoods, had a perfect beta daughter for their son. However, one night after an unexpected event, Jungkook decided to marry his youngest daughter.

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: Jungkookwolf au x (female:Lucy) 𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒: smut, wolf au, fluff, angst, one shot. 𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 16 k 𝑅𝒶𝓃𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓃𝑔: +18 𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔: abuse, violence, , sadness, psychological abuse, dirty lenjuage, naked, muscles, mating, cumshot, bite, sex. 𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇’𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒: This is my first one shot of this theme I hope you enjoy it. If there is a lot of demand, maybe make another one with the member you choose most.

Social pressure could be included within the determining factors for anyone to lose their reason, their own identity. Jungkook always considered himself a strong person, both physically and mentally. His education had been one of the best in town, the most neat and disciplined so that I could deal with any problem that might arise. Being the firstborn of an Alpha family was not easy, he lived constantly under the rules, absurd duties and constant dialogues about loyalty.

In Dyonisia, everyone envied him, and for that reason, he always walked alone. He did not like people, he did not like to make friends for convenience, to feel like a sample object to flatter their families. He preferred to sink under his father's extensive library, though he never said no to a walk on the Hun River.

That morning, his father had practically forced him to get out of those four walls, breathe air, take a bit of color, inviting him to interact with the other betas or omegas in town. He had only built a small friendship with a beta, Jimin, the son of his father's assistant, a very brief relationship just by spending good morning, but Jungkook found it pleasant. Perhaps it was her sympathy and the kind smile that she gave her mother every time she brought her hot chocolate. He used to watch those scenes from a porch seat with a book on his lap and another cup to go with. He never got too close, fearing the same rejection as the same betas of his kind. They were supposed to respect him (or at least that's what they did in public) but they never missed an opportunity to denigrate his taste for loneliness, to process low words towards his low weight and unattractiveness. This was her childhood, subjected to constant ridicule that seemed endless.

So when Jungkook culminated in the hormonal process of puberty, his alpha genetics came out in the way his muscles protruded above all those scrawny betas. At twenty-two, he possessed all the qualities necessary to be the new Alpha Chief.

I inhale deeply, filling my lungs with rich natural oxygen. He had always loved the wild smell of pine leaves, the crisp sound of boots as he stepped on dry leaves. Feeling comfortable, he gave himself the pleasure of stretching his shoulders to remove all the accumulated tension, placing a hand on his shoulder to massage the neck area.

He dragged his boots down a small slope of land to approach the shore and touch the crystal clear water, he needed to get drunk from that cold and wet feeling left by the river.

It stopped mid-slope when I hear a couple of voices below.

"What's wrong?" It echoed, a thick, coarse voice with an ironic air. A man of medium height with strong arms and a broad back covered by a white tank top. He seemed to be talking to someone but his physiognomy was so robust that it completely covered him. His shoulders fell serene but the tension was palpable in the muscular contraction of his back. —Come on, darling, you're my girlfriend, you love me, I love you, what do others matter?

“I love you, I'm just not ready to go to those kinds of contacts, sorry.”

"But why not?"

Jungkook analyzed his tired tone, shrewdly deducing that it was not the first time that he had insisted. Then, the boy supported the weight of his body with one leg, discovering with this small act, the body of a girl with whom he spoke so uncomfortable. Slowly her eyes widened with involuntary emotion. She felt chills, the movement of her brown hair against the wind seemed unreal, so soft and fluffy that it caused inhuman impulses to touch it. Big, expressive eyes that screamed what he thought: discomfort and some fear. Letting herself be tamed by sudden curiosity, she began to explore her sweet, perfect features, brown skin, small nose, and prominent natural red lips. It seemed like a beam of light in so much darkness, it really was beautiful. A scent of honey rose from her developed nose, an aroma so exquisite that she had to close her eyes briefly to calm the excited red of her irises. "My love, nobody will know, only you and me.I am giving you an option so that you do not have to pass your fever with those harmful drugs.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows as surprise hit his facial control. Outraged by his low propositions, he frowned. I calculate that he must have been the same age, therefore, it seemed unheard of to him, considering that he did not seem stupid, that he did not know the serious consequences of such acts. He growled, his toes curling inside his shoes. He showered her with loving flattery whenever he could, yet there was something about his insistence that had him truly concerned. He talked to her about mating as if it was just about sex. That act links two people for life, though, only if the male wants. There was something about the way his fists clenched that prompted his instincts to think he was not to be trusted. He could smell the urge from there, a smell so rotten that his mouth suddenly wrinkled. Jungkook tilted his head to the side to examine his distressed expression, hurt by his little collaboration.

"I have said no."

A smile escaped Jungkook's lips without realizing it.

"But Lucy ..."

Her words stayed in the air when she noticed that the girl caught Jungkook's presence. I swallow hard, her expressive eyes staring at him in panic. The boy turned with his hands on his hips, then raised his eyebrows contemptuously at Jungkook. Quite nervous, Jungkook slid down the slope.

"Didn't they teach you not to listen to private conversations, asshole?"

"Tony, let him."

The boy looked at Lucy abruptly.

"What did I leave him? He could tell your parents about us. This jerk might not have good intentions ..."

"Like the ones you have with her?" He growled, his inner wolf shaking its tail eager to get out. For tearing everything in his canines with his canines. He was sure that the vein in his neck had made its appearance, he felt the blood rise suddenly and collect on his head. Lucy stared at him too shocked, then ducked her head in embarrassment, closing her brown eyes. Jungkook didn't want to make her feel bad, damn it, he should have controlled her tone. Her beautiful hair covered her face with such tender grace. How could someone as sweet as her date someone so hypocritical?

"What have you said?"

"What you listen."

"Give up for dead ..."

Lucy put her hands on his chest to stop him.

"Not here," she pleaded, her eyes set on the ground.

The boy shook his body violently and then roared.

The discussion did not get worse because a group of young betas appeared to camp at the foot of the river. Children who laughed tirelessly until they saw the two wolves pulling their teeth out and roaring intensely at each other. Jungkook was forced to calm down and reticulate for the sake of that foolish beta, he could not, rather, he should not. If his father found out that on his first outing, after so long, he had killed off a dead beta, he would be in real trouble. Everyone knew the difference between beta and alpha strength, it wouldn't have cost Jungkook to destroy him, but it wasn't the right thing to do. He returned to his home and sank into the safety of his room. He slept, ate and breathed thinking of those expressive clear eyes.

Located at the foot of a picturesque cabin where the vines climbed the walls emitting a smell of wet leaves from the recent storm. Today was the great day, that one, in which his role as future leader would consolidate, he would take the privilege of meeting his future wife and in the worst case, the mother of his cubs. His mother was almost as nervous as he was as he tried to calm himself down with exaggerated vents. He was convincing himself that it was the best choice. Her father rang the bell with searing assurance.

"Thanks for coming, Joe," said a robust man thanking him for his visit, Jungkook assumed he was responsible for the family. His mother entered first, giving him a nod in greeting, she did not like the contact very much. At a quick glance I notice Jungkook's presence. "Come on in." Is waiting for you.

His future wife.

Your future Alpha.

He nodded resignedly.

She felt a real desire to back down, to return home with some excuse to excuse her sudden flight. However, I end up entering that cozy house. The commitment was something that had always been in force throughout his life, his father kept reminding him how important it was to find the right partner, how essential it was to get someone with good genetics for the litter. But he was never in favor of arranged marriages, he was never in a hurry to establish love relationships. He always thought that fate would be in charge of introducing him to what would be his alpha, but that was just an absurd wish. Since he turned fifteen and hit the first stretch, his father had been in charge of reminding him, every day until today, that his destiny had been decided.

Enveloped by the pleasant heat of the living room. The house was not very big but enough for them. Sometimes those were the best, since a small house with interactions was better than a huge one where ghosts flooded around the corners.

She left her coat on the polished coat rack in the hall, then headed into the living room. He quickly approached the fireplace to take refuge in the crackling wood as it was burned by the fire.

"Carina, daughter, come down. Your fiance has arrived!"

Jungkook stood by the fireplace while he waited. The sound of heels began to echo down the steps. He raised his head as a new scent filled the room, his nose was suffocated by too intense a perfume. It was not annoying, without going any further, but too excessive. Her nose wrinkled in response. His sense of smell was so muffled that he soon began to crave oxygen.

"I was getting ready, mother," she said, in a charming voice.

Jungkook stifled a brief sigh as his eyes closed. Then he turned around and greeted her with a kiss on the hand. Without much more to say, his skin was overly lubricated and flavored with some artificial citrus from some body cream. I take his small bow as a greeting to tour the girl's body. The dress reached to the ankles where high-heeled shoes stood out with pride. The vermilion color with touches of bows matched a small belt. The dress was wide at the bottom, being narrower at the waist area, accentuating it. Then, I look at the artificial details of her makeup, her red lips highlighted by a lipstick, recently, by how fresh they looked. He had to control the movement of his eyebrows to avoid frowning, the girl was beautiful in itself, she did not need as much makeup. He liked natural appearances more like his mother or that girl on the river.

"Nice to meet you..."

"Carina," she added, quickly with a desperation that covered with a sporadic laugh.

Jungkook replied with a small grimace of politeness. Actually, I was tense.

"Where's your sister, darling?" Asked his mother under his breath. The girl shrugged contemptuously as if she wouldn't mind. Jungkook looked away awkwardly, they were talking in front of him like he wasn't.

"Sorry for being late ..."

Lucy ended her hasty career the moment her large eyes saw the figure of Jungkook occupying half of the room. Being totally paralyzed by the impression. Jungkook, who had recognized that voice, turned in his direction, also opening his eyes in surprise. Lucy closed her mouth as fast as she could, nerves beginning to dominate her movements. Both of them looking at each other in total surprise until their sister stood between them.

“Shall we go to the table?” She suggested, a little annoyed at his extreme attention to his sister.

Jungkook reacted, accepting a little disoriented that he would place an arm inside his forearm.

The couple walked to the table, however, there was a moment when Carina looked back to cast a teasing glance at her sister. Lucy rolled her eyes at his childish behavior.

"I was a little nervous because I didn't know how you were going to react. Really, this is crazy. Arranged marriage ..."

Carina talked and talked but he had lost himself in his thoughts shortly after the start of this conventional conversation. Sitting in front of his parents, with her at his side talking to him about anything he didn't even bother to hear. He hadn't yet touched the suckling pig meat that Mrs. Trivia had so skillfully cooked. His mother was talking to his mother, his father was talking to the other about some topic related to hunting, leaving poor Lucy behind, who was playing with the chicken leg with her fork at the other end of the table. He pursed his lips in a pout as he spun the food lost in his world. She felt boredom and a little angry at her mother for forcing her to attend these kinds of meetings. They didn't even get along with their sister, they were totally opposite. Carina was more flirtatious and concerned about much more "feminine" matters (at least that's what she called housework), Lucy was much more adventurous, carefree, she was a ray of sun molten in hope that exuded happiness for her radiant smile. She raised her eyes from the plate when she felt watched. Jungkook averted his gaze as soon as he rested hers on him.

Feeling even more out of place when she unconsciously watched her sister's hand cling to her strong bicep.

His mother was totally focused on a lively conversation with Jungkook's mother, so much so that when the brunette got up and sneaked out the back door, no one noticed her absence.

Holding between his small fingers his large planted chicken leg.

"Dog, I'm bringing you ..."

An excited bark came out from behind a trash can when the stray dog she cared for behind her mother's back, ran at her in desperate gallops. With his tongue hanging out and his eyes drowning in hunger. Lucy, laughing, crouched down and set the plate down for the poor animal to feast on. The dog did not think twice and eagerly put the ozico in. A mixture of saliva and leftovers of meat began to fall on top of his shoes, he did not care too much, he increased the level of his laughter while he filled his head with caresses.

"Why did you run away?"

Frightened by such a compromising scene, Lucy spun back. When she met Jungkook's worried gaze she placed a hand on her chest and sighed in relief.

"You can't run away from a place you never were," he declares, his so ambiguous little confession decreasing in pitch as he turns back to the animal. He repeatedly pats his head as he watches his little fight with the larger area. Jungkook bows his head. He analyzes her curiously, a feeling similar to what she feels for him.

"Sorry," he whispers. Jungkook stops looking at the animal, directs his frown at her while undoing the smile that he doesn't know when he's formed. "This morning. Tony's."

-Why do you apologize? It wasn't your fault. ”Confused, he intensifies the wrinkle on his forehead.

"For not respecting you, Alpha. If I had known that ..."

"Stop justifying an apology," he replies, through an excessively abruptness. Lucy ducks her head in shame hidden under her long hair. Jungkook begins to feel remorse when he smells his sadness with his experienced sense of smell. So weak and fragile. He does not know how to react, it is the first time that he is in front of a woman and the dumbness reigns, the words have simply been stuck at the beginning of his throat.

Lucy raises her head.

"Do not."

Its softness shakes you.

"It's a stray dog that I take care of behind my mother ... Please don't tell him!"

"Is very..."

"Pathetic, I know."

"No." he clarifies. Lucy expands her eyes to him. "It is an honorable gesture."

Lucy's cheeks are bathed in rich lipstick when their gazes collide for a brief moment.

"Thank you very much sir."

Jungkook wrinkles his nose.

"What's that, sir? But how old are you?"

"I'm twenty-one, sir."

"For God's sake, don't call me sir reminds me of my father." Far from looking like an order, his pleasant laugh relaxes the situation.

Lucy gets caught up in the alluring sound of his voice, taking a few seconds to contemplate the hectic movement of her lips as she laughs. Jungkook intensifies his smile when he realizes it. She deflects hers drowning in a shame marked by the red of her ears.

"Call me by name, Jungkook."

"I'm so excited about decorating the banquet. I love roses, do you like roses as much as I do? I like the red of their petals it's so intense ... Oh, oh, over there!" Screaming excited when visualize from afar a wildflower stand. Catch Jungkook's doll to drag him towards the small traveling shop. There was so much fuss in the main square that you didn't notice the reverberating sound the song made of your tired sigh produced. He keeps thinking about how uncomfortable he is, he should help his father with the affairs of the town and not there, in a square choosing what would be the perfect flower for the center of his wedding table.

Two weeks had passed since that dinner, nothing had changed in his cold demeanor. Try as she might, she knew Carina was not his type. His heart did not stir when he touched it, nor did its aroma captivate him, it seemed the same as the rest of the omegas or betas in the surroundings.

"Jungkook."

Jungkook was aware of his claim hidden in a small grimace.

"Which ones do you like best?"

Carina reached out toward the flower trays.

"Do I really have to be here?" He asked, frowning roughly. Carina clenched her teeth, highlighting her jaw. Jungkook rolled his eyes at the sight of his little tantrum. Being a little nicer, I try to fix it in a quiet whisper. "I mean, I trust your taste."

Carina felt flattered, relaxing into a huge smile.

"I have to help my father. See you later."

He got out of there before Carina wanted to give him a suffocating hug. He adored them, he really missed the comforting warmth he felt when someone close hugged him, but he couldn't bear the excessive way his hands tightened around her neck.

A most peculiar brown mane drew his attention to the well-known girl who was reading in a street vendor.

He approached by an unconscious impulse that he offered to his lips with an excited smile.

“What are you doing?” He leaned down to whisper directly into the shell of her ear in greeting.

Lucy closed the book in fright. Suffering a chill from the wet friction of his lips on the skin.

When he bent his neck, he smiled.

"Are you following me, Jungkook?"

"Maybe," he joked, as he widened a mischievous smile. Lucy had to go back to the book so that she wouldn't witness the emotion of hers. Jungkook leaned over the stall ledges to steal his attention. "I came with Carina to buy some things for the wedding."

A prick-like pain seemed to hit his heart.

"It must have been exciting for you to have practically run out of the flower shop."

“Were you watching me?” She asked mockingly, exaggerating a playful smile.

"Maybe."

Jungkook was the faithful image of happiness. He couldn't stop smiling, unlike when he was with his sister, with Lucy he could bring out his personality, knowing that he would never judge him.

"Violent pleasures end in violence and have their own death triumph, in the same way that fire and gunpowder are consumed in a voracious kiss." I recite almost from memory when I look down at his book. Lucy turned her neck to him with too much surprise in her eyes. Jungkook replied with a proud grin. "Romeo and Juliet." I didn't think you were a lover of literature.

"It's the best way to get out of here getting lost in the exciting lyrics of Shakespeare," he replied, forming a small smile.

"Of all the works you have, why that one?" It is a tragedy with a very sad ending.

"An inspiring tragedy," he contradicted, frowning as he playfully punched him with the book in the stomach. "Besides representing a beautiful love story."

"Do you think such love exists?"

Jungkook raised a curious eyebrow.

"Yes, but not for me," I whisper, a cold and bleak air crowding into his tone like it's a disease. Jungkook slowly broke his beaming smile until he ended in a straight line. "My destiny is written and as traditions agree, I will end up marrying a stranger."

Lucy leaves the book inside a wooden box, the movement of her hand is so pessimistic that Jungkook lets out a sigh.

Frowning, she retrieves it. He put two fingers up to catch the grocer's attention, he came as fast as his old legs allowed. Jungkook took out a bill and placed it on top of the books.

"Keep the change."

Lucy opened her eyes in surprise.

"What are you doing?"

Jungkook offered her the book but she did not accept it. She was still holding a tense, reluctant posture toward him.

"Can't I give you a gift?"

"It is not appropriate. You are a committed man."

"With your sister."

Lucy's heart clenched.

"Still, it's not appropriate."

"Keep him."

As if he were a puppet at his whim, he managed to get the book into his arms.

"But..."

"Accept it as a sign of our friendship," he asked, Jungkook manifested his last masterpiece when he gave her a smile so charming that even Lucy was duped. "Friends make gifts, right?"

"Yes, I guess so."

He hated the pressure of the elegant shirts, he had always liked the comfort that loose and wide clothing provided much more. His mother had forced him to dress cordably on the occasion, when she had seen him in those jeans and black sweatshirt, he cursed the four winds.

As he walked down the streets of the town, the lanterns guided him with a charming light. The air that night was cool and comforting, and yet he would be locked in a house dining with his future wife. Jungkook sighed tired, really, he had been visiting that house too many times a week, he saw Carina almost every day. The only amusement that made this bustle more enjoyable was the pleasant company of Lucy. That little beta that made him smile every time they spoke. An impatient sigh came from his lips without realizing it.

Would it also be today?

"Ahead."

Mrs. Trivi opened the door for him with a smile.

Jungkook was looking resignedly at the table set in the living room when a delicious smell led him to the kitchen.

"Mmm ... that smells good."

He smiled like a little boy when he saw a chocolate cake in the middle of the table.

"Get your filthy hands away from my chocolate cake!" Cried an uncompromising voice that he had instantly recognized.

"Just a bit." Fawning smiled as he stretched out one of his hands but Lucy slapped him.

"Not!"

Immediately they both laughed as Lucy tenderly took her hand to analyze the red mark. There was a time when the laughter stopped and his eyes couldn't be more attracted. They fell into comfortable silence as they analyzed his detailed pupils. Jungkook cocked a small smile as his heart began to crash against his chest. Lucy looked away in intimidation, her dark eyes too deep. I swear for a moment to hear the heart fluttering in Lucy's chest, her scent so close it was starting to cause terrible side effects. He felt a shiver as his fingers left her wrist in need of the desire for her soft touch. Lucy swallowed to calm the dryness in her throat, her lips taking control of her mouth to smile unconsciously. He knew he kept staring at her and he inexplicably liked that.

Jungkook found himself half a step away when the door slammed shut.

"Jungkook wasn't expecting you so soon. I've missed you ..."

Lucy was brutally pushed aside when Carina hugged Jungkook.

"Are you going to stay for dinner?" A totally ironic question to his sister.

Lucy smiles falsely.

"If you talk to me like that, yes."

"Stupid ..."

"Actually, I'm only here to pick up some of your father's papers." Jungkook's clever intervention gives him the perfect excuse to refrain from that absurd evening. Carina ironically raises her eyebrows while transforming a forced smile.

"Oh! In that case come, I'll take you to his office."

Lucy mocks her sister's back, imitating her gait, and Jungkook laughs softly when he turns to say goodbye.

The sun was shining bright that morning but the desire to get lost in the pages of a book had really won the battle. Her father's office was an intimate and private place where he used to spend most of the day. Besides, she preferred to shut herself up in that rustic and solitary room, than to have to endure the excited screams of her sister for the few days that remained for her wedding.

He was turning the pages of the book too lazily. He didn't know what was going on inside her but for a while he had been in rather poor humor. He no longer wanted to smile, he rarely laughed at his father's jokes when there had been from the first syllable before. He made cheap excuses, whether it was because the summer was ending or because his parents no longer paid as much attention to him. Deep down, he knew what the real reason for his emotional downturn was. Jungkook was going to marry his sister's monster.

The problem was not commitment (or at least that's what he wanted to think) Jungkook was a very attractive young man, it was more than clear that he would not stay single all his life, but the fact that he went with his sister definitely put him in a very bad mood . She was capricious and did not agree with her friend's kind attitude. So sweet and chivalrous, he couldn't deny how good he felt when sporadic moments passed. Her chest heaved uneasily and her lips couldn't stop smiling.

He shook his head to scare away the strange thoughts and concentrated his attention on finishing Cervantes' great work. When finishing with the last page, he got up from the chair and walked to the shelf, with the bad luck that when he wanted to return it to its place of origin, the height played a trick on him.

“Do you need help?” A velvety voice vibrated behind her. Jungkook leaned his shoulder against the mark of the door as he contemplated the amusing scene of seeing her on tiptoe and with her tongue sticking out.

"What?"

Lucy landed on the ground momentarily stunned by his appearance. Swallow, overwhelmed by its natural beauty. He had never felt the need to focus on the bodies of the other betas, and yet his eyes wandered alone on an involuntary tour of her majestic legs in tandem with his strong arms clenched as they crossed. Coming out of her hypnosis, she blinked nervously as she turned back to the bookshelf and managed to cover her blush. What happened to him? It looked like a beta controlled by her impulses.

"Oh! No, I can alone," rejecting her help with a self-sufficient air. He stood on tiptoe again, stretching his arm as far as he could to strain the book into the empty space. She lowered to the ground tired and snorted closing her eyes. "Okay. Can you ..."

A hand runs over her shoulder, catching the book and setting it in place. His hard pecs collide unintentionally against his back as his body leans forward to reach the high shelf. Feel an intense stomach cramp when you shrink at the compact sensation. She seems so moved by the pleasant sensation of his body heat that her neck turns to increase the vision of her strong arm backing up.

"Thanks ..." he whispers.

"I had brought you a book."

Jungkook's voice sounds more stable than it actually was, his mind had played a bad thought on him. He didn't want to get away from her. She had felt such a pleasant sensation when she had accidentally brushed against his body. Forcing himself to stay away from its delicious smell he takes two steps back to walk away.

"You didn't have to with the book the other day ...”

Lucy turns around when she is sure that the redness on her cheeks has completely left her skin but then, Jungkook takes out a book from his cloth bag.

"Oh, my mother, my mother!" I do not believe you. I've been looking for this book every time Mel put the job but always told me she didn't have it.

He snatches the book from her with too exciting speed when he recognizes the book.

“Since when do you like witchcraft, Jungkook?” He hums mockingly as he glides his fingers across the uneven surface of the cover, in a hypnotized smile.

"If you don't want it ..."

“Yes, yes!” She hugs the book, afraid she will take it away.

Jungkook laughs softly.

Lucy takes the book off to look at it, jumps with excitement as she squeals like a little girl. She doesn't know when she has dared to run to his body to hug him, but when she is aware of what she has done and tries to separate herself, Jungkook is wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her closer. Suddenly, Lucy hides a smile sinking into her chest. Its honey scent is so comfortable, it inspires enjoying its natural perfume, it takes a step closer to make a better hole in its arms. Jungkook gasps, tilts his head to bury his nose in her neck and bask in her softness, his fingers lightly touching the skin behind her ear. Her small caress makes Lucy stir at the sensation. With an innate craving he clenches his wool sweater in a fist, Jungkook gently caresses the strip of fur again. Smile when you feel the trembling of your body stuck.

"Shall I interrupt?"

Lucy separates agitated when she hears her sister's irritated voice.

"Thank you, really, thank you."

His stuttering is covered by the sound of his hurried footsteps. He runs away from there with his face burning, hoping that Jungkook hasn't seen the shame on his face, but both he and Carina have witnessed his little blush. Jungkook smiles unconsciously, caring little that his behavior was being observed by the other woman.

"Carina, you are beautiful."

Flaunting her majestic dress she waves her hand proudly. His other hand is in a friendly greeting with Jungkook's mother.

"Thank you very much, Mrs. Jeon."

"Nothing formal, after all, we will be family soon." Her confidence makes Carina smile with greatness. Completely ignoring his parents and his bored sister. — I can't believe my son is getting married in a week.

Lucy purses her lips, tries to act normally but cannot.

Carina widens her smile when she notices her sidelong disgust.

"Neither do I ... I'm so nervous."

Jungkook's mother turns to a circle of men who speak animatedly.

"Jungkook, son, your fiancee just arrived!"

Jungkook slammed his glass down, placed it on top of the waiter's tray, then loosened the knot in his tie. Really, he had infiltrated the older wolves to hide, had had to put up with old stories of when the pack was a third of what it was now, but it was worth it to get away even for a few minutes.

An old man she had been talking to slaps him on the shoulder for support. He sighs and turns to his mother. He tries to process a charming smile on his girlfriend but is only capable of grimacing.

"These..."

He shuts up.

He sees Lucy a few meters behind, clad in a short but really delicate dress. Jungkook couldn't contain the bubbles of emotion growing inside her, she really was beautiful. The white color suited him wonderfully highlighting his pretty eyes that did not hesitate to observe him.

"Precious..."

"Thanks," Carina responds, taking a quick look at her mother.

"What a boring party." Is this what they call music? ”Her friend scoffed as she played with the liquid in her glass. Lucy shrugged, then finished her third drink. When he threatens to leave her on the small table behind him, Ginger grabs her shoulders to stop her. "Don't turn around."

"What happens?"

Lucy frowns in concern.

"Would you believe me if I told you that your sister's fiancé did not take his eyes off you?"

"Of course not." He chokes on the alcohol when he swallows. You cough when you notice how the drink is going the wrong way. — You should stop drinking because alcohol makes you see things that are not.

"Yeah right."

Red-brushed nails are embedded around his arm.

“May I have a second, I want to talk to my sister?” She demands, lashing out in an unkind tug until she pulls her out of prying eyes.

"Ouch! What are you doing?" Lucy moans in a confused howl from the strangely aggressive pressure that travels through her fingers.

"You've been taunting Jungkook all night."

"You're sick in the head," she clarifies, denying herself absorbed in an incredulous expression, sucking her lips inward to contain herself. She decides to ignore him and walk back to the living room, however, her sister's hand returns her to her place.

"I warn you, stop bothering my fiancé."

"Your ego has gone to your head and your understanding is clouded." Jungkook is my friend, nothing more.

"You're right," he spits bitterly. She smiles, she wears an evil grimace that only anticipates what will come next. —Really, I don't know why I bother if it's clear that she would never notice someone like you.

"Like me?"

"Yes." He tightens his smile, emphasizing a wicked look. "In an immature and horrendous brat who doesn't have two fingers on her forehead, you're not even pretty."

Sigh, release his breath directly to her face to unbalance her. Lucy frowns in pain at her sister's hurtful words. He had always been cruel, he had never lacked time to mess with his appearance, but this time it was different, he sensed it in the way he acted. He had pulled out his claws to defend his position as if he felt Lucy was a threat when he had just told her otherwise.

"You're worth nothing."

He moved closer to her ear so that his whisper would take on a dramatic tone. She emphasized the last word to make it stand out from the rest. Lucy swallowed nervously, a swirl of anguish crouching inside her stomach from the lack of delicacy. She knew that she shouldn't listen to her, she was just a hurt woman for some reason that she couldn't explain. But it was the derogatory tone and the way his eyes killed her in anger. She didn't know that it hurt more, if her sister's slurs or the fact that deep down she knew she was right. I never considered myself a good specimen, haughty and pushy. No beta approached her if it weren't for sweet reasons. She always walked alone waiting for someone to surprise her, but that never happened, it only existed in her head.

Until now.

"Lucy." An oddly low voice sounded behind him. Startling her by sudden interruption of her thoughts. She turns around and twitches a weary sigh.

"Tony, I'm not in the mood. Go, please."

"We need to talk."

Lucy inevitably stared out the window, seeing her sister hanging on Jungkook's arm. She was smiling as she bragged about something she couldn't hear from a distance. As if struck by a current, Jungkook squinted into the darkness of the porch, but there was no one there anymore. Her desire to get out of there was greatly increased by accepting that Tony will guide her down the dark steps at the back of the house.

“Haven't we gotten too far away?” He asks, not stopping to observe everything that had a little moonlight reflected on its surface. It had been a while since they had started on this walk, Tony had been silent and certainly, Lucy was beginning to wonder if accepting his offer had really been a good idea.

"It's so they won't listen to us."

"I think that's enough, I don't even know where we are."

She stopped abruptly causing Tony to turn and look at her strangely.

"Lucy, forgive me."

—Tony, we've already talked about this, you aspire to things that I don't. We don't have the same goals, the same dreams. We were always different, now I realize how wrong I was to accept that this happened.

"But what are you saying?" You love Me.

"No, Tony. I liked you but I never loved you. "I confess, the words had been previously selected in his head so as not to reject him too abruptly, but the fatigue was cleverly perceived between his tired grimace and lowered shoulders." Sorry, "I sigh. Taking steps carefully so as not to trip over the dark stones.

His hand tied to her arm holding her back.

"We need to talk," I pronounce slowly with a bright threat in his eyes.

"We've said enough," he said, shivering from the nerves that covered his vision. He shook his arm but he just cocked his fingers more. "Tony, let go of me I have to go back."

"You love me," he repeated in a desperate air. Lucy widened her eyes in fright as she took painfully slow steps toward him. "I'm going to show you how much I love you."

He yanked her onto the nearest log just to adjust to her body as soon as he had the chance. Her nose inspired his perfumed scent eagerly as she trembled paralyzed. His nails embedded in the rough wood with a disturbed look. He began to deliver small kisses to the bottom of her jaw, sticking out his sticky tongue to lick a strip of her syrupy neck. Lucy shrugged her head in response, feeling the real fear when his hands clenched her and she felt his hard erection on her thigh.

"My precious beta ..." her breath falling into the shell of her ear before she licked it with emphasis. Lucy patted her chest desperately, attacking with her hands in an absurd attempt to pull him away.

“Stop!” I yell, sick and scared. Holding back an anguished sob at the top of her throat. All she did was get Tony to growl and hold her tighter in his lumberjack arms.

"Don't scream, no one is going to listen to you, we're in the middle of nowhere. Don't make this more difficult, Lucy."

He hit his body again this time making it at least a few inches apart. He sank his body into the crisp wood of the tree groaning in pain as he felt loose strands dig into his back.

"Let me go, I promise I won't tell anyone," I plead, opening my teary eyes so that he will change his mind, that being his breaking point.

"Damn it, I just want to convey to you how much I love you so hard it is to understand!" If you don't want to understand it the good way then the bad way it will be… ”A hand went up to wrap the column of his neck and thus keep his face free for him. He smiled, pulling his teeth out in a sharp smile. Lucy kicked when she buried her mouth in his neck, she knew what she would do when she felt the fangs in her neck.

"No ..." she sobbed.

A furious roar echoed through every space in the forest. So furious and scandalous that Tony caught a glance before falling to the ground pushed by strong arms. Lucy slid down the tree, killing her bent legs. Her hand covered her neck still feeling the edge of her fangs.

Another furious roar.

Lucy tore her gaze from the dried leaves to find a scene too terrifying. Jungkook hitting with all his fury the face buried in the earth of Tony. Flipping him violently with each punch. Fixing a bloodshot gaze, pulling out the fangs at each lunge. He tried to get up but his knee failed, he had to lean on the trunk not to collapse.

"Jungkook," I whisper weak. Not abandoning that fear that I still felt. Jungkook looked up from Tony's badly injured body to look at her with concern. His eyes darting to the hand covering his neck. He got up as fast as he could and approached her too nervously.

"Are you okay? Has that motherfucker done anything to you?" He growled, the vein in his neck sticking out at every word. His breathing hitched at his chest but he didn't seem to mind. With too much tenderness he uncovered his neck to see two red marks but without going deep. He sighed, feeling relieved and selfishly good. Lucy welled up tears at his pitiful gaze. She buried her head in his chest to calm her sobs. Jungkook stroked her head slowly. "Don't worry, I'm not leaving you alone."

"Where could it be?" Has he come home? ”Her father asked in an anguished tone as he wandered around the empty room.

"Lucy would never leave without telling us." Her worried mother assured her to try to calm her husband's uncomfortable hustle a little.

Carina rolls her eyes.

"Please, you're putting on too much of a drama, he's always sneaked out of ..."

Jungkook's mother's outrageous heels stormed in.

Behind her husband walks with a long face.

“Have you seen Jungkook?” Her mother added in a panic attack. It was not common for her son to leave the party in the middle of a conversation. She had been worried since she saw him leave in a hurry.

The glass opening was what twitched the nerves of everyone present. Immediately everyone turned in alarm to find a Jungkook with his shirt stained with mud. His mother covered her amazed mouth when the poor and trembling Lucy appeared behind him with her tousled dress and red neck. But undoubtedly, what caught the most attention was the boy that Jungkook so skillfully dragged by his mother's velvet carpet.

"Lucy! OMG, what happened?"

Her mother ran to wrap her daughter in her arms, who soon began to cry when she felt the heat of the home again.

"This jerk has tried to take her into the woods," Jungkook roared into the air. Wrinkling her nose when the memory of him trying to mark her came magically to knock her good pose down. He released his shirt causing it to drop straight to the floor, the drool hanging and his mouth bloody as he lay dying on the fluffy carpet.

"He?"

Her mother grabbed her shoulders to inspect the mark on her neck.

"No." I assure, licking my lips so I can speak. "Jungkook was on time, Mom."

The woman sighed in relief.

"Thank heaven."

"That happens to you for being anybody," her sister accused in a too despicable tone. Her father turned shocked to his daughter.

"Carina, please, that comment is too much!"

"Tomorrow everyone will know what happened tonight." He pointed coldly at his sister as if it wouldn't affect him. His mother immediately looked at Jungkook's mother, who looked down at the dying individual in her living room.

"I'll try not to talk about it much, but you know what the rumors are like."

"No one will want to marry her," Carina commented in a low whisper that did nothing more than hide her inner joy.

"I will do it."

Everyone watched Jungkook's jaw drop. Everyone except Lucy who had frozen in her mother's arms, sticking her head out to look at him too shocked.

"It is a solution," he commented to his father in an attempt to convince him. Mr. Jeon seemed to think about it as he placed a finger on his chin and turned to seek his wife's approval.

"But are you listening to each other?" What kind of mental dementia makes you think it's a good idea? Do not!

“Carina!” Her mother said in a dominant cry. The girl opened her mouth as she exhaled fire from anger. Heading towards Jungkook so that he could convey his agony.

"It's her problem she has gotten into." I understand that you want to help her but there are many ways.

"It is my decision, father."

Sitting with her hands on her knees as she watched her mother's reflection travel across the room.Combed with a tousled braid that ran down the right side of her shoulder. Looking back into that mirror, she thought that perhaps this would be the last time she could feel the warm relaxation of her space. She tried not to cry so as not to ruin the makeup so exquisite that her mother had taken the time to do it.

He couldn't find the exact words to describe how he felt. Nerves had indeed taken the form of lingering chills. He always assured his crazy and dreamy person that the day they would take his hand would be the happiest of his life, and yet he kept thinking that this situation had been forced.

"Here it is, it was from your great-grandmother, then it happened to your grandmother and then to me. Now it's your turn to take it."

"Why are you crying, Mom?" I whisper in a small smile when she saw slight drops caress her cheeks.

"It's not every day my girl gets married," I croon melancholy as I hooked a loose lock with the blue clasp. I sigh, stroking her daughter's bare shoulders. "We should have had this talk later but the situation has been a bit rushed."

“About what?” She scowled her outlined eyebrows.

"About the rules in marriage, my love."

"Mom..."

"You know what will happen tonight, Jungkook will take you and be his wife. You must have puppies, all you can and ..."

"Mom, I don't want to talk about this. Can you please go away?"

"I know it's difficult, at first it takes a little getting used to but I'm sure my girl will do very well. Jungkook is a great man who has done us a great favor, keep that in mind."

I kiss her forehead lovingly before leaving her thoughtful in the mirror.

Everything happened so fast, in less than a blink he found himself closing his eyes to the roar of applause from the guests. Stop in the middle of an altar full of precious flowers. Being the center of attention and the reason for the excited whistles.

"You may kiss the bride."

Lucy gulped when the priest's words broke through all the screaming. His eyes ceased to outline the flowers in a nervous air. The seat next to him shifted back, implying that Jungkook had risen. Lucy took the fabric of her skirt and tightened it anxiously before getting up. Raising her chin little by little in a situation that seemed more eternal than the cycle of the earth. Connecting their eyes for the first time since they had made the pact in that stone seat. Jungkook sighed when he noticed how his bright pupils faded as the agony continued to rage. Guilt gnaws at him like a disease that destroys everything in his path.

He moved just a little closer to receive her rejection in a fearful gasp. So, banishing the desire he had to caress that fleshy mouth with his lips, he decided to bring a kiss to his forehead and walk away as soon as possible. Lucy, who had closed her eyes not to witness out of embarrassment, opened them in surprise to find a Jungkook further away than she ever walked to the garden with the guests.

He had hardly had a bite of the wonderful cake that Mrs. Jeon had prepared. The food had danced with her fork the short time dinner had lasted. The dance was more awkward than I imagined. Everyone exhaling tender sighs while the couple glowed in the middle of the garden. Envious women who wanted to take their place, themselves as men who longed to feel what Jungkook's hands touched as she delicately adjusted herself on the bare area of his back. They were both tense.

I kept thinking about what would come next, there was less left for the evening to end and the guests to leave. With the end of each song his greatest fear was approaching, he should spend the night with Jungkook.

A couple of Jungkook's cousins dragged her away to talk about marriage issues. However, Lucy was absent and lost in a sea suffocated by a storm of nerves. Himself, when they gave more than two in the morning, one of the cousins took her with complicit laughter to her room. He left her alone saying goodbye with a wink that he did not see as he fell into bed.

Very soon, the door opened in a scandalous screech, standing firm with her back stretched up as she turned to see her husband. He was shocked when he saw how shabby he looked, his tie untied and his vest buttons undone with a shirt half out.

"I'll sleep in the room at the end of the hall to let you rest." A hoarse voice accompanied by an unstable babble. Lucy raised her eyebrows when she could smell alcohol filling the room. Looking more closely at his appearance, he noticed how the red cheeks and lost eyes gave rise to the thought that the stains on his pants had not been water. He looked really tired as he leaned his back against the door to stand upright.

"But this is your room," she whispered persuasively. Jungkook waved his hand away as he crawled over to his dresser to grab his nightwear.

"Never mind."

Puzzled by his sudden stability, she was left with the word in her mouth when Jungkook closed the door two seconds later.

Two weeks later.

Like every waking up in the last days, there was a part of her that wanted to continue sleeping, to sink her head into that fluffy pillow and forget about her problems. But ignoring them wasn't the best option, still, he spent as much time as he could in the isolated room that had been on his property for a couple of days.

After the wedding night a cold air had crept in between them, Jungkook hardly spoke a word that was not strictly necessary, whether it was a good morning or a goodbye. When she left the room, he seemed to notice her presence and go to the garden with some excuse without any reliable argument. He would be lying if he said that this contempt did not hurt him in the deepest, ignoring her had become his favorite activity.

So, she was pleasantly surprised when she went down to breakfast to see two cups on the table.

"Good morning." He nodded as he walked past him so he could sit down.

"Good morning." Unlike her shyness, Jungkook seemed much more awake and with an overwhelming air that made that distressed sensation ease somewhat.

Lucy picked up her fork and began to eat silently with overly careful bites as she noticed a gaze piercing her from the other end.

"When you finish breakfast I want to teach you one thing."

True to his word, after devouring what was left of his plate, Jungkook rose from the table and she followed behind. He felt a swirl of emotions that he could not stop.

What she wasn't expecting was for him to lead her to a huge library that she hardly knew existed.

"It is huge," I admit in a scream that he confessed the wonderful surprise that had been. The books placed perfectly on the bookshelves almost perfectly, you could tell that it was an important place for Jungkook since the brightness of his eyes gleamed menacingly.

"It is entirely yours." Feel free to pick up any book you want, although we can always go to town to buy more.

"With the ones here, I think that's enough." My God! ”I shout excitedly when I visualize a golden cover more than familiar among so much wood. She raised an eyebrow, opening her mouth surprised to find that type of book, there. “Do you have the story of Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf?” She furrowed her eyebrows in a grimace accompanied by a small smile. It was so striking that he had a children's tale among great classics that he could hardly see that Jungkook's cheeks had camouflaged a soft red.

"It was my favorite when I was little, I didn't fall asleep unless my mother read it to me at least twice." He confessed, exhaling those childhood memories. He smiled, imagining the situation of a little Jungkook between blankets as he begged his mother to start his reading. Although it died down in the same way that a feeling of remorse arose, he no longer spent time with his parents, least of all with his mother.

"You should have given him war ..."

Her velvety voice led him back to reality. Her smile just appeared when I watched from afar as Lucy's small feet leaned to reach the book. A feeling of tenderness similar to that of the other time caused him to walk to offer his help.

"Wait, I will ..."

But Lucy had already managed to catch him and they collided almost unintentionally when she got down and he lunged forward. Her back pressed to his chest harder than last time, feeling the hot breath falling into her ear, making her goose bumps. He swallowed and turned around, leaning on the shelf. Her fingers gripped the book with maddening anxiety as she realized how close they were so painful between them. Jungkook had a hand on the shelf next to her head for support, aware or not, that he was cornering her. Jungkook raised his hand in a delicate caress to her chin to get a better view of her clear eyes. The arm she had supported was closing the distance at too slow a speed, torturing her with the prospect of her dilated irises. His dark gaze kept her in place, almost instinctively or because she was amazed by that intense gaze. Her lips parted as he brought his thumb up to stroke her chin in small circles. Lucy closed her eyes to heighten the sense of pleasure, barely aware that Jungkook was approaching tortuously slow steps toward a single destination. She lifted her head a little to give him better access when she felt the brush of his nose on hers followed by a small contact with the soft skin of her approaching lips.

"Mister Jungkook your guest has just arrived." The voice of one of the house servants caused Jungkook to walk away immediately and Lucy to hide her face placing the book on her warm face.

“What guest?” I snort, trying to sound as kind as possible being aware that I had interrupted. The elderly man left the library without answering. Jungkook rubs his palm over his face to calm down and not kill whoever has come to his house without warning. Something told him that his parents' absence had something to do with the surprise guest. I glance at Lucy apologetically which the girl received with an embarrassed nod.

Through the hallway upstairs, he could already smell a peculiar perfume. The citrus smell was unmistakable, I just hope it was a mistake and that it really wasn't who I felt.

Unfortunately, going down the stairs to his huge mansion, he realized that his sense of smell had not fooled him.

"Cousin Kook but how long without seeing you!" Have you put on weight? ”Burlon, with the biggest and most false smile he could show as he followed his steps up the stairs. Jungkook snorted more than annoyed as he glared at his father, who kept a serious expression next to his wife.

“What is he doing here?” He didn't hide his anger in an ironic tone like his cousin did.

"He came on behalf of the neighboring town." I have invited you for a few days to file the sloths, please be kind.

His father's pleas caused him to sigh.

"Yes, Kook treat me like a princess." His maniacal laugh made his hair stand on end. He clenched his fists trying to control his wolf from taking over. However, another sweet smell made her look up quickly toward the stairs. "But what have we got here?" I had heard that you were married but the rumor had not reached me that your wife was such a beautiful specimen.

Lucy was halfway there when she felt the other alpha's piercing gaze from below. Her stomach clenched when she felt his eyes travel as far as he could without cutting himself. I look at Jungkook terribly self-conscious but he barely looked at him and he was already grunting at his cousin.

"Taehyung called me, did you ..." I walk in a flattering air to where she was when she finished going down the stairs to gently hold her hand and plant a kiss on the back, leaving her with a shiver. His dark eyes were similar to Jungkook's but much more mischievous. With nothing more than to compare both smiles that although they were too far away, Jungkook's toothy smile was as pleasant as the square of that flirtatious wolf.

"Lucy, please go." More than a plea, it sounded more like an overly demanding order. The vein in his neck already looked too visible, implying that his patience was running out.

"What? No, why so soon?"

Lucy looked at Jungkook for answers but only got a neutral and overly intense gaze.

"Listen to me."

"You are a curmudgeon, Cousin Kook."

"What a heady smell, shit, I had never smelled such a smell." How lucky you are to fuck, I almost become like a small wild omega when its perfume has gone up my nostrils.

"Signature." Gag. Slipping the folder with the papers into a noisy slip.

But Taehyung smiled mischievously.

"It must have been a pleasure being paired with someone so cute," he commented. I borrow a pen from the desk to capture his signature. They were just papers that agreed to the new territory deal. Delimiting their land so that there are no misunderstandings when hunting. Jungkook was deeply upset with his father's actions, he could have brought his uncle, at least he would not have to endure such high alpha airs. She didn't want him here, much less knowing that Lucy was close. He was jealous, damned jealous. Because although he trusted her, not so much in him.

"It is not your fault." Now get out of my sight.

"Oh come, we are family, there are no secrets between blood brothers. What was it like to take it? Delicious sure. What legs and what small breasts so well placed, how does your ..."

"If you talk about my female again with those words." No. ”He patted the table as he got up, a shout rumbling dominated by his primitive impulses. He had to calm down or he would end up transforming and slitting his neck. She closed her eyes, hiding her fiery red irises as she ran her tongue over her raging lip. "If you ever talk about my female again, no matter what it is, I'm going to rip your throat out with my fangs."

"Well, it hit you hard."

"Stay away from her, Taehyung." Don't force me to follow through on my threat.

"Relax, you're a little tense," the brown-haired boy lied, rising to rest his hands on his cousin's shoulders. Jungkook identified the fact as a mockery, finally roaring at Taehyung so that he would take his hands off her. Fangs coming out to impose dominance, Taehyung ended up walking away as he raised his hands to the air, hiding with an awkward smile how much his howl had stunned him.

"You better not notice your scent near her."

"Too bad my beloved uncles can't join us for this delicious dinner," Taehyung mentioned as he devoured a piece of meat with a pleasant smile. Jungkook rolled his eyes, then looked at Lucy to verify her condition. She looked awkward, too self-conscious about dining with someone she didn't know.

"Yes, eat and be quiet."

"Were you always so irascible or is it because I'm close to your female?"

Lucy, who until then had been quietly eating, raised her head to Taehyung quite surprised. Flashing nervously as she clarified in her head if what she had just said was true, or just the result of her joking nature. Jungkook had to hold back a groan to stay seated and not jump at his cousin's neck.

"Shut up and eat," he growled menacingly. Casting out your voice I recorded with as much impatience as shame. Lucy was listening to everything, and if she could perceive, just a little bit, discomfort in her. Taehyung would end up in the backyard with his head buried in the ground.

"Why are you reacting like this?" A moment ago you were yelling at me that if I approached her you would nail my fangs.

"With permission," she apologized in a too embarrassed whisper. Jungkook frowned too sadly when he saw her almost run to disappear. He squeezed the fork showing his white knuckles with a thirst for blood, specifically, that of his cousin. Giving Taehyung a voracious glance, he ran after her to try to explain.

It was a relief to him to see her climb the stairs.

"Sorry, it is martyrdom to dine with someone like him." I shouldn't have asked you to come down to dinner with us. ”He spoke too regretfully. Lucy suspended her leg and turned, holding on to the railing. She contracted when she saw true overwhelm in Jungkook's dark pupils, at least he had come looking for her.

"Yeah, it's kind of weird," I whisper. I go down the steps to shorten the distance, staying a couple higher to place his eyes on a level with his. Taehyung's inappropriate comments had made her more uncomfortable than she would like to admit, but that had not been the main reason she had decided to run away. "What she said ..." soft babble. Jungkook raised an eyebrow, his Adam's apple moving as he swallowed too hard. There was illusion in its brilliance, so much so that Jungkook was almost blind. She could feel the intensity with which her heart beat, nervous about an answer. "Is it true?"

"It is not so, I just warned him that he will not approach you. He did not mean it, well, unless he makes it clear." He ended up confessing. Lucy pursed her lips, she had avoided his question.

"Would you only do that to him if he got close to me? Why?"

He didn't know what, but his chest heaved with excitement, if he could ever know that Jungkook saw her as a female and not as the girl he had been forced to marry to keep his bond.

"You should have listened to the endless barbaric things he said about you as if he were an omega in heat." I don't want him to be near you, that's all.

"Your female said."

Jungkook straightened his back taut, his shoulders haughty from the rise of his chest in alarm. He felt anxiety in her, a need that was mortifying him. She didn't want to hurt him, because if she did, he would.

"Yeah, well, don't take it into account. Taehyung says a lot of nonsense. It's the only thing he's good at."

"I don't know why, but I have a feeling you're hiding something from me, Jungkook."

"I'm not hiding anything from you."

"Then why do you run away to the room farthest from the hallway every night?" Gripping the railing too tightly. She was agitated, annoyed by her cowardice.

"That's my business," he growled before walking out the other door.

Lucy tried to go down the steps to follow him but suddenly, her belly contracted curving her towards the railing. She moaned a little dizzy, thinking innocently that it was from eating so fast at dinner.

Drowned in her own sweat, anguished by the heat so suffocating that itchy between her legs. He opened his mouth and roared impatiently. Had a month already passed? As he could, he got out of bed almost dragging himself across the floor to get urgently to the bathroom kit. She opened the closet with so much anxiety that the products were scattered on the floor, the occasional shampoo spilling its contents. He didn't care too much, now he had more important things to take care of.

"It can't be," I sob. Her belly contracted so powerfully again that she ended up on her knees. She did not recall having been so suffocatingly hot. She felt the moisture between her thighs when I rub them out of necessity. Now he understood that rush to unite male and female when they were just beginning to be considered adults. Females were usually warm once a month when the full moon shone high in the dark sky. Also, he had known, from the many books he had read on the female body, that, as you turned years, the need for you to be taken was getting stronger. Until now, I hadn't felt the need to get fucked so badly.

I was involved in a pretty serious problem. Its heat had never passed without the inhibitirios and if it hurt now, he couldn't imagine how it would roar when midnight will come.

As best he could, he managed to hold himself up to go back to bed. With beads of sweat and red cheeks trying not to faint on the way. A delicious smell began to cloud her senses, these being much more receptive when his heat possessed her, a smell of honey, delicious honey coming from the closet. I drag my feet toward the cabinet, licking his mouth at how dry it was. When he opened its doors, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth fell open at the overpowering scent of the hanging garment. It was his jacket and his fucking scent.

Lucy slammed the door when she felt lucidity for a second. He had to go back to bed, even if he didn't want to, he had to. He couldn't continue torturing himself with her scent because that would make his situation worse.

But it didn't last long, her belly throbbed furiously again, taking away the little sanity she'd tried to establish. Her legs couldn't be any more wet from the exhorted amount of lubrication that was expelled from her vagina. His hole closing around nothing, urgently demanding to be filled by something, by an alpha's cock.

She opened the doors like a desperate woman. When the garment ripped, its scent not only penetrated her nose, it also contracted her belly even further. Lucy, lost in that exciting scent, ripped the jacket from the hanger, breaking it into a thousand pieces. He brought the garment up to his nose and breathed in its scent.

She growled completely overpowered, controlled by her scent, she ended up running down the hall in search of him.

I needed it to ease her.

He needed me to fuck her so badly.

He wanted his fucking cock between her thighs.

"Jungkook ..." I sob at the door. Anxiously scratching at the wood when I try to open it to find it closed. Jungkook woke up suddenly as a desperately sweet scent rose up his nose roses. I gasp, looking down at the sheets. His cock throbbed in need as I heard her moan behind the door.

He got up, sweating from his hands and his mouth suddenly dry. I put her ear to the door to hear her better.

"Get away," he growled. Lucy gasped needlessly, feeling distressed at his rejection. What he didn't know is that, Jungkook was controlling himself, he was using all his self-control not to knock down the door and fuck her in the hallway, open her beautiful legs and sink his cock deep inside her until he shouted her name.

"Please ... It hurts so much." His needy little howl was too devastating. Her irises took on the reddish color of her wolf when she squeezed her thighs and her wonderful lubrication rose up her nose. He licked his lips anxiously, too overwhelmed. He put his hand on the latch. I gasp at the anticipation.

But he shook his head away from the door.

"Go back to sleep, Lucy." He growled back. "I don't want to hurt you."

Jungkook slammed his fist against the door. Why did everything have to be so unfair? Why should he have known her like this? He cursed in fury when he heard him walk down the hall. He had perceived disappointment, sadness, much pain. Damn, he didn't reject her because he didn't want her, his damn erection screamed to sink into her tight pussy, but, the feeling of guilt was still installed in his chest.

He didn't want her to think he was taking advantage of her.

Too overwhelmed by shortness of breath, she ran to the nearest balcony. His hands hit the railing in anguish as he crashed into it. He stretched his neck back, his head back, the cool air calming his anxiety a little.

"My God, I've been following your scent all over the hall." A hoarse voice appeared from behind. Scaring her too much. Turning, he encountered Taehyung's mischievous pout. She clung to the wall as much as she could when she saw the air brazenly smelling. "Are you okay puppy?" I can help you with something?

"I don't think you can help me on this," I stammer in a hoarse tone. He didn't like the threatening look with which he was running her. He watched her with lust, his intense red eyes as he approached with slow steps.

"I think so," he assured. He smiled, gleaming his tongue in one step through his fangs. "But, I'm confused." Why aren't you fucking your husband? ”She scoffed, giggling wickedly at the need on her face. Delighting in the wet sweat that stuck her nightgown to her skin. Then, in an act that couldn't scare her anymore, Taehyung seemed to hit something on his head, stopping abruptly with a too dark, mischievous glow. “It hasn't taken you, yet.

"No, he, yes ...

"Don't lie to me or burn in hell, needy puppy," I whisper too attracted by my gasp. He strode over to me to stand in front of me, lightly imposing his body. I swallowed saliva burdened by the smell of pine that began to rise up my nose. Taehyung smelled great, but it wasn't the scent he wanted. I felt too small under his piercing predatory gaze. "Damn, how could I have rejected you and more when you have your heat?"

"He has not rejected me, I am the one who has decided to go through this." I tried to face him, thanking the cold weather for helping me to reduce the suffocation a little. But, I didn't count on him also being able to take advantage of the movement of the air to better inhale my scent and to know, through my heartbeat and my fear, that he was lying.

"But how capricious is destiny and what a beautiful coincidence. My parents are crazy because I do not commit myself, it is not my fault that the betas of my town are not pleasant to me. Like ... like you."

"You should listen to Jungkook and go back to bed."

I tried to get under his arm but he immediately got in the way.

"Oh! Wasn't it you who had decided not to relieve yourself?"

"I have to go," she sobs. This was getting out of hand, he could perfectly feel the need in his eyes, in the evil play of his tongue on his fangs.

"Don't go, going through the heat without a male is very hard." I can help you, let me ease you ...

"I'm already taken ..."

As I pulled my face away from his hand when I tried to stroke my cheek, I became hysterical. My heaving chest being stopped by his. I was very close, I wanted to go. Damn, I should have stayed in bed.

"Trickster pup, I can smell how needy you are from here." Just let me ...

"I warned you not to go near her." A deafening roar came from the balcony entrance. Taehyung stopped cornering me by turning abruptly. I shrugged my stomach full of fear. Jungkook roared furiously at his cousin, he was really afraid that in one of these he would jump against him and kill him. His gaze was so threatening, red irises, his chest heaving as he blew air out of his mouth.

"I have only offered my help." I was greatly surprised when I perceived fear in his tone, Taehyung seemed terribly terrified by the way he looked at his white knuckles.

"I'm going to slit your throat so deep that your pathetic alpha blood stained my mother's carpet," he roared. She screamed in fright when in overly striding strides, she approached Taehyung and lifted him up into the air before slamming his back against the wall. The chestnut groaned disoriented, coughing as Jungkook began to squeeze his neck.

"Jungkook ..." I sob scared to see him lose control like that. The muscles in his back tensed, then he dropped Taehyung's body to the ground, letting him cough from lack of oxygen.

"I told you to go back to your room, Lucy!" Damn it! ”He turned to her with all the rage in the world. Lucy cringed against the wall when she saw him approach.

"It's not even my room!" All this would not have happened if instead of marrying me you had married my sister! ”She cried. He ran away with tears clouding his sight. She couldn't take it anymore, she couldn't take her rejection, her screams anymore. She urgently needed to sink her head into her pillow and cry until she ran out of water on her body. She never imagined that she could yell at him like that, look at him with such contempt.

She entered the room slamming the door. She didn't care that Jungkook's parents heard her in her little tantrum. He ran to the bed and sat down as he placed his hand on his chest.

The door opened, then slammed shut more loudly than hers.

"Get up, let's talk," he demanded. Standing in front of the bed with his arms crossed. He was too irritated, he needed to control himself but that would require a time he didn't have.

"I don't want to talk to you," she denied as she drove her tear-stained gaze to the bed. She didn't want to look at him, she felt so humiliated and despised.

“You are an unconscious, how could it occur to you to wander around the house knowing that there is another male nearby that can smell you?” He growled, moving his arms from side to side, losing control. Thinking of everything that could have happened if he hadn't arrived on time, of the consequences that would have ruined everything. The moment an alpha marks you, you lose any chance of belonging to another male. The beta bite was easy to replace. But Taehyung was an alpha, if he had marked his precious neck, goodbye, because that would mean that his scent, his blood, his everything would belong to him. And that, that bitter feeling had him too upset. He didn't want it to belong to anyone but him, from the first time he smelled her, from the first time he saw her, he knew in the depths of his heart that this female would be for him.

"Do you mind?"

"Of course he does, you're my wife!"

“I am nothing of yours, nor have you even taken me!” His dominant roar caught him off guard. Accustomed to keeping situations under control, I let Lucy get up and push him away. Jungkook did not move, he was simply surprised by how really upset he noticed her. He felt so much disappointment, a craving so strong that it clouded his character. One more push, a heartbreaking sob, Jungkook caught his hands before he continued to hurt himself. Suddenly, all the anger, all the jealousy left her body, changing into a feeling of guilt. A terrible and distressing feeling of sadness. I hear her heart pound, her irises swell. She wasn't mad at him, she was mad at herself. That feeling ended up confusing him.

Lucy, still defeated by exhaustion, continued to stir in her arms, screaming, crying, pleading for him to leave. Jungkook ended up overpowered by his instincts, drawing her tightly to him. She was silenced by the touch of his hot breath on the sensitive skin of her upper lip. He swallowed, the alpha's fingers clenching his arm so eagerly that he would swear that tomorrow he would have bruises on his skin. I avoid eye contact, closing my eyes, tilting my head to avoid being controlled by her red irises.

"You haven't even kissed me ..." he confessed with all the pain in the world. Opening her eyes to send him a heartbreaking look, full of broken illusions. Jungkook stared at the deep detail of his yellowish irises. His fingers tightened more intensely, he could not control himself, less when the smell of his heat impacted urgently on his nose. Much less when an anxious moan emerged from her perfect lips after rubbing her thighs. Her eyelids half closed with excitement. Its brilliance startled at the bad need to be reciprocated.

Jungkook couldn't take it anymore, too much emotion, too much demure. He could no longer hold back, he had lost because he had fallen before his most primitive self. Jungkook squeezed his arm again, emitting a hoarse moan when he inhaled thoroughly. His smell. Damn it, it was dripping. It was ready for him, so that he would take it as he had wanted so much.

"Jungk ...

But he had already silenced her. He slammed her against the door to press her against his body. He grabbed her by the neck and brought her to his desperate mouth. Her lips parted wide, not caring that he was being too rough. He had been too long ignoring her wishes, now they would be more than rewarded. Lucy's eyes tightened at the addictive taste of his saliva. He groaned, letting his inner wolf take the reins, reaching up his hair to clench his hair in a fist as they eagerly ate their mouths. There was a moment when Jungkook parted his lips, causing such a flattering snap that he almost lost his identity. She, seized with excitement, ran to glue their mouths together, but Jungkook held her in place in an overly revealing growl. Lucy gasped in agitation from shortness of breath. Jungkook groaned before dominance kissing her again. Their kiss was so dirty, full of passion and accumulated lust. Out of necessity, Jungkook's hands slid down the curve of her waist until they reached her hip and clenched them eagerly. She stifled a pleading moan. He kept going down terribly slow, squeezing her bottom, making it collide with the protruding bulge that caged his pants.

"God I want to fuck you so badly." He almost drowned out his voice when he returned he felt the moisture of his crotch wet his needy erection. Lucy gasped in pain, a fear in her eyes making him stop abruptly. "Lucy, if you don't want us to ... We better stop now."

But she was too fucked up, she was still scared, but it wasn't because of the situation, or because of him, she was just panicked not to like him without clothes.

"I want to," she whispered, pulling her mischievous tooth closer to stretch her lip. Jungkook placed his open palms on his waist to bring his noses together and thus, not miss the detail of his dilated eyes.

"Fuck," I howl. Desperate, he urgently kneaded her butt making her moan. He crushed his hands on her thighs to lift her up. Her legs encircled his waist, her small body matched his so well. Jungkook didn't waste much time finishing taking her to the bed to throw her on the sheets. Her back bounced up the nightgown, revealing to her anxious eyes the sweet skin of her velvet thighs. Lucy, excited, tried to rub her thighs to calm the itch in her crotch, but Jungkook didn't let her. She crushed her hands to his skin and spread her legs too desperately. His hand went to his sweaty face, letting his fingers run in soft caresses down her neck, licking his lips at the sight so appetizing. He let his hand roam the endless ends of her collarbones, gently skirting the bone until she fell into the valley of her breasts with her nipples presenting herself enthusiastically to him. I knead one of her breasts while sighing. Lucy cried, dropping her head. Her delicious sweaty neck exposed for her mouth. I couldn't be more excited to mark it. Jungkook raised his corners to form a delightful smile, his eyes directed to the dark stain of her panties. "I can smell from here how needy you are for an alpha's cock."

"Please ..." I sob disturbed by the uncontrollable need I suffered. Her back was curved forward so as not to lose the sensation of his touch. With her legs open for him. Jungkook reached for her panties and gently squeezed her fingers. Making them wet and a little sticky. Lucy gasped, groaned, all she could emit was coming out of her half-open mouth. Her nightgown was almost ripped from her weak, dying body. Her nipples greeted him erect with excitement. On instinct, Jungkook licked his lips imagining what it would be like to have those beautiful, round and perfect breasts in his mouth. Another in his place would have lost his mind, ripped his pants off and started to fuck her, but maybe it was the time he had thought about having her so he wanted to have a little time, enjoy his body.

He took off his shirt, revealing his majestic figure, those broad shoulders, well-marked pecs that gnashed with the desire of his mouth to try, his damn abs, and above all, that path of pubic hair that disappeared through his pants. Those who hid something much more attractive. Jungkook threw his head back leaving the sight of his wide and shiny neck as a reward for how wet the accumulated sweat had left him.

"Give me time, honey." It's been a long time since I've wanted to know the taste of your skin. ”I whisper under a persuasive tone. I put my mouth to her neck to start distributing wet kisses and small bites that did nothing but leave her wanting more. I stick my tongue out to run it inside her neck, her hot breath contrasting against the wet area leaving her completely on edge. Lucy tried to close her thighs but found Jungkook's hips. Her nipples tightened from the pressure of his chest coupled with hers. His hand hooked into her silky hair to stretch from the roots. Jungkook growled disgust bringing his mouth to hers anxiously. Lucy opened her mouth when she felt the pressure of his tongue on her lower lip. I kiss her hard, hard. The nails superficially scratched his broad back as he came down to attack her neck again, this time, much stronger. There was no more compassion, he kissed her, mojo and bit as he wanted.

Like the hand between their bodies to knead her breast urgently, she embedded her nails into his skin when her nipple cried out in pain from the pressure just exerted.

"Oh, Jungkook," she moaned uncontrollably as she felt her teeth roam over his collarbones. His bites, despite being, a little strong, there was some love in them, an affection that was represented with kisses to calm the bruises. He caressed with the surface of his lip until he reached the sensitive skin of his halo, which he wet with his tongue and introduced into his mouth. The salty taste of his skin was too addictive, he was sure, when he had the privilege of clenching his nipple with his teeth, that this game had made him a gambler. It parted, leaving a click too suggestive to slide into the other.

"Shit, from the first time I saw you I wanted to do this." I speak against his skin creating tickles. Lucy moaned as she punched the sheets when her separation was with a suction. "If your pathetic boyfriend hadn't been there, he would have ripped your clothes off and fucked you right there."

"I would have left you," I sob. Too lost in how her tongue sank slowly into her navel. Her body spasmed slightly as she felt an overly suggestive kiss on top of her panties. The pressure of his mouth had been so wonderful that I swear at that moment, that when he took that garment out and kissed her again, he couldn't live a single day without it. Jungkook let out a too hoarse laugh, his breath hitting her folds directly as one of her fingers pushed aside her panties.

"Would my bitch let me pierce her sweet kitty with my huge cock?"

Jungkook stretched his mouth with pleasure as his eyes never stopped looking at his needy gaze. Lucy swallowed nervously, anxious that her lips that brushed her tender spot would drop a little further. Jungkook licked his lips one last time before crushing a sweet kiss right in the center.

"Jungkook ..." she howled agitatedly as she felt more pressure from her sinful lips. Her tongue came to play an important role, starring in a walk between her folds leaving her with a dry throat. "God, yes! Jungkook please ..." She kept screaming ecstatically, and somehow, she loved it. His cock vibrated with enthusiasm inside her pants. She loved his pleading as he kissed her inflated clit. He brought a finger to the scene, stroking its red button so he could stick his tongue down. Lucy moaned uncontrollably with her legs too restless, Jungkook held her open with one hand while the other pressed her palm against his center, before taking the liberty of inserting a finger. His hole cutter sucked easily. A compassionate scream succumbed strongly when she felt what her first orgasm was. Her cheek was resting on the pillow with her mouth open for better breathing. Her belly rising and falling. Her legs dropping from exhaustion.

Jungkook broke up to enjoy his work. Seeing her so agitated just with his tongue made her want to tear her apart. I eagerly remove his pants to release his needy cock. Lucy's eyes widened at the noise and she looked at her. It was much larger than he had expected with the wet pink tip of his own precum. Jungkook moved his cock, stretching his skin, letting the beta's ears hear the wet snap of her masturbation. Her mouth became water but that did not remove the fear that began to help her. It was her first time, she had had an orgasm lubricating her entrance much more, however, that did not block the thoughts of how that would fit inside her little hole. She started to panic because until now she hadn't noticed the pain the first few times.

She tried to get up off the mattress too agitated but Jungkook wrapped her neck to lay her down again. Her red irises caused yellow ones to appear. Lucy began to stir from lack of oxygen while complaining in sobs. Jungkook groaned dominant, leaving her completely still. Pleasure clouded her mind again, leaving her under his control.

"Spread your legs for me, darling," I order too impatiently. Lucy spread her legs, clearing the way for her moisture to hit her nose again. With his free hand he brought the tip of his cock to his hole, letting just his touch cause impatient moans. I run the tip to lubricate with his moisture, Lucy dropped her head while panting too far. "Shit, your little wet kitten is soaking the tip of my cock. Do you want it inside you?"

"Yes," I sob. Spreading your legs wider if possible. Jungkook groaned satisfied at his submission. Her fingers closed enthusiastically in his throat.

"A lot?"

"A lot..."

Sliding slowly so as not to harm him, finally, he introduced the first centimeters, causing both screams of pleasure. Jungkook started to get dizzy when his tight entrance pressed his walls against him.

"Shit, I won't be able to control myself, you're too close." I sob, letting out a shaky gasp. Too much pleasure was beginning to impose his impulses on his clarity. It was her first time, she really didn't want to split her in two, but it was so hard to stay steady when as he entered, inch by inch, she urgently spread her legs wider.

"Don't do it, take me however you want." You are my alpha I am at your disposal.

She was so good that she took away what little sanity she had forced herself to keep. He placed himself faithfully on top of her, trying not to crush her completely. He slid his hand down her throat to the nape of her neck and pulled her into his desperate mouth. Their tongues were too anxious. She felt Lucy's nails adjust to her skin, her other hand stretching the strands of her disheveled hair. The kiss was cut off by her when Jungkook made his first lunge. Her head fell limp to the pillow, offering her neck without realizing it. Jungkook grabbed her hips to improve her fit. Lucy moaned again and he smiles on the skin of her chin.

"My sweet submissive puppy." He kissed her ear with a too dark tenderness. Lucy gasped as she let her lips stutter meaninglessly. Jungkook clenched his hips eagerly as he picked up a much more predatory rhythm. He ended up panting hoarsely against his ear. "Tonight I'll settle for taking you like that, spreading my legs as I sink the way I want." But the rest of the nights I want you with your ass up showing me that delicious ass.

"More, give me, more." I almost shouted. Disoriented by the cloud of pleasure that clouded her mind. Her nails leaving small furrows of reddened skin. His hands melted into her hips celebrating a devastating rhythm. It was no longer controlled, the need to make her moan was much stronger.

"Do you like how I fuck you?" I whisper agitatedly against her ear as the head of the bed hit the wall with fury. "My good bitch is going to carry my puppies."

"Yes Yes."

"Shit." He closed his eyes ecstatically. He had never felt such pleasure, it was as if all his instincts would rise to a thousand and his belly was about to explode in a wonderful way.

Lucy gasped as the pressure returned to her lower abdomen. He brought his hands up to his neck when Jungkook lovingly assaulted his neck again. Lucy groaned in shock as she felt the sharp tips of her fangs crash against her warm skin. He didn't even know why they had appeared, Jungkook had only become aware of his presence when he tried to kiss an old ribeye.

"Take me," she gasped in overwhelming anxiety. Jungkook put his hand to his neck, turned his head to his liking, and finally sank his fangs into his flesh. Jungkook stopped his movements to prevent the wound from getting bigger. Not realizing that the orgasm overwhelmed them when she decided to drink his blood. When they were removed, two small holes were marked on his neck that would later disappear. Creating a bond for life. Lucy pressed her cheek to the fluffy surface with more than surprise. Feeling his cum dripping inside her, hitting her walls with enthusiasm as her small contractions milked him patiently. She was suddenly deeply excited.

A few minutes later, Jungkook came out of it. He lay on the bed with one arm tucked under his head. Lucy snuggled into his chest a little shy as she felt Jungkook's hand tighten on her hip to pull her closer.

"Why did you take so long?" She murmured a little self-consciously. He had just realized that he had been screaming too enthusiastically. She blushed embarrassed. Still a little dizzy, she crushed her cheek to his warm chest. His breath fell heavily against her hair, relaxing her.

"For fear of letting my impulses dominate me. I didn't want to hurt you."

"That time..."

"Yes, dammit, there was nothing I wanted in the world more than to eat your mouth and put your butt on my father's desk." But I shouldn't, we barely knew each other and I didn't want you to form a wrong image of me.

Lucy put a hand on her chest and looked at him with her eyes open.

"And what image do you think I have of you now?"

"I don't care, because I'm going to do what I told you, Lucy." I love you every night with me.

"Do you love me?" Jungkook managed to perceive her emotion, as her heartbeat ran wild inside her chest, giving her away completely.

"I don't love you, I love you."

They both drew a too cute smile.

"Me too, alpha."

139 notes · View notes

phoenix-downer · 5 years ago

Text

Sora/Kairi in KH3 - Conversation with Chirithy Scene

This is the fourth in a series of translation posts I’ve done about Sora and Kairi’s scenes in KH3. The first post about the paopu fruit sharing scene can be found here, the second post about the light in the darkness scene can be found here, and the third post about Sora’s speech before he saves Kairi can be found here.

Here’s a general key for the kind of analysis I like to do:

JP: Official Japanese Dialogue

EN: Official English Dialogue

TR: My Translation (usually more literal and thus more stilted than the official English version. I’m not using natural-sounding English in order to stick as close to the Japanese versions of the lines as possible for the purpose of analysis)

Notes: things I found interesting, grammatical points, extra thoughts, etc.

One last note: media doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Every work of art is influenced by other art and by the cultural background of the people who made it. Kingdom Hearts, for all its ties to Disney, is still very much a Japanese game, so it should be analyzed in light of that.

With that in mind, let’s continue.

Sora and Kairi arrive at the Final World, which earlier Sora described as the world of ocean and sky. One possible reading of the kai part of Kairi’s name, as many of you know, can mean ocean/sea, 海, and Sora’s name can be read as sky, 空. They’re visiting a world that has a lot of symbolic significance for their names, and they’re here together, which perhaps Sora’s words hinted at all along.

Notice how Sora carefully holds onto Kairi as they land, and she likewise has her hand resting on his side. At first they seem surprised/unsure...

...and then their expressions change to joy as they admire the view around them:

They look at each other as if to share this moment together. Sora offers Kairi his hand, and she takes it as they float to the ground:

Then they land, though there is no ground here, just water. It is the world of ocean and sky, after all. The camera focuses on their feet to draw attention to the fact that this isn’t a normal world; only water and sky exist as far as the eye can see. Notice how Kairi positions her feet with her toes pointed slightly inward. This is considered cute and ladylike in Japan, and Kairi poses like this to give hints about her character to the audience. Notice how Sora’s toes point outwards to indicate a more masculine stance:

The medium close-up shot here frames Kairi’s reaction to the Final World, allowing the audience to empathize with her and take in her reaction to her surroundings:

Note the look of joy and wonder on her face:

Next, we get this long shot/wide shot of the two of them, still holding hands, to emphasize the vastness of the Final World and how amazed they are by the sheer size of the place:

The camera even zooms out to emphasize how small they are compared to how big the Final World is:

We go back to a medium shot of Kairi as she continues to admire the view. Again, this experience is framed in terms of her wonder and joy:

And then Sora enters the frame...

...but the focus is still on Kairi...

...as he gazes at her in a way that can best be described as adoring:

JP きれいー

EN It’s so pretty...

TR It’s so prettyー

Notes: The Japanese version has Kairi drop the copula da after “pretty,” probably so that she will sound more feminine. The English version picks up on this and has Kairi say “so,” which is more common in feminine speech than in masculine speech.

Sora continues to admire Kairi, even though he’s in such a beautiful place. Kairi is what draws his attention despite the stunning view around them. She’s more beautiful to him than anything else, and everything else fades away in importance for him:

His eyebrows even relax a little and his eyes do this affectionate squint almost, just to show how comfortable he feels around her and to indicate his feelings for her:

The camera focuses more on him in this shot, a clue that we’re supposed to pay attention to what he’ll do next:

We see the same eyebrow relaxing and eye squinting that happened earlier:

And then something else catches his attention, and his expression sobers considerably. There is sadness in his eyes, even at a happy time like this:

The camera cuts to his hand, which, as we can see, is starting to fade out of existence. The shot is from his POV here, indicating we’re experiencing what’s happening through his eyes:

He spreads his palm out as his entire hand goes translucent:

But only temporarily, as it becomes solid again as he watches:

Next we get this low angle shot of Sora reacting to the change, probably to include both his hand and his face in the shot. Still, it’s interesting that this choice of shot was used, because usually it’s used to emphasize power dynamics. Perhaps it is done here to make Sora seem larger-than-life? His breath catches here as well in both the English and the Japanese versions:

Sora curls his fingers here...

...and makes a fist. Note the look of resignation/determination on his face:

Then he turns to Kairi:

He doesn’t dwell on what’s happening and doesn’t feel sorry for himself. No, his concern is with Kairi and with getting her home:

JP カイリ

EN Kairi.

TR Kairi

Notes: Nothing really to note here, Sora just says her name to get her attention. He says her name frequently in Re:Mind, almost as if he’s waiting for every possible excuse to say it.

This next frame shows the two of them about equally, to indicate the focus is on both of them now:

JP 帰ろう　みんなが待ってる

EN Come on. Everyone’s waiting.

TR Let’s go home. Everyone’s waiting.

Notes: The intonation for both the English and Japanese versions are pretty similar here. Sora’s voice falls on both sentences to indicate he isn’t asking a question, he’s suggesting what they do next. He uses casual forms of the verbs because he and Kairi are comfortable with each other and know each other well. The verb for “go home,” kaeru, is often used to indicate returning to one’s home, so it’s clear he wants to take her back to Destiny Islands like he promised he would.

Next, we get a shot focusing on Kairi’s face and reaction:

JP うん

EN (Kairi just makes an affirmative noise in the English version)

TR Okay

Notes: Kairi agrees to Sora’s suggestion and nods.

Her eyes also do the same affectionate squint that Sora’s did earlier when he looked at her. They’re mirroring each other’s body language:

Then we get this shot to show Sora’s reaction to her, and look at the love in his eyes:

Then he smiles this precious smile that also strikes me as deeply sad, in a way. I don’t know if that was intentional, but considering how his fate must be weighing on his mind and how hard he’s trying to make sure Kairi’s having a good time, it might very well be on purpose. It’s also a very brief smile in comparison to some of his other smiles and strikes me as a little forced for that reason:

Notice again how his smile isn’t really reaching his eyes. They’re open too wide in comparison to his earlier, genuine smiles:

Though his expression here does seem happier/more content, now that he’s smiling more naturally:

Then he remembers Chirithy:

JP あっ！

EN (Sora just makes a surprised noise in the English version, like he’s suddenly remembering something)

TR Oh!

Notes: Pretty similar in both versions; Sora’s expressing that he just remembered Chirithy.

He looks around...

...and the camera cuts to a shot of Kairi watching him look around:

She even leans forward a little to try to meet his gaze...

...and asks him a question:

JP どうしたの？

EN What’s wrong?

TR What’s wrong?

Notes: Sora murmurs ええと to himself right before Kairi asks him what’s wrong, and he says “uh” in the English version. Pretty similar in meaning to one another, and it shows the localization team’s attention to detail.

Kairi uses the particle no at the end of her statement in Japanese along with rising intonation to indicate she’s asking a question. In the English version, she just uses rising intonation and the fronting of the wh-word “what” to do so. She asks the same thing in both languages, just uses slightly different linguistic tools to do so.

We get this full shot of the two of them to show that Chirithy is nowhere to be found:

JP うん　友達がいるはずなんだけどー

EN Well... My friend should be here, but...

TR Well, (my) friend is supposed to be here, butー

Notes: The Japanese and English versions are pretty similar here. Sora uses hazu to indicate that he expected Chirithy to be here, that Chirithy was supposed to be here, but for whatever reason, his friend isn’t showing up. Note though how “my” is assumed from context in the Japanese version and explicitly spelled out in the English version. Japanese can drop pronouns in a lot of instances where they are obligatory in English.

Sora looks around with a hand to his forehead:

In multiple directions:

And then calls out to Chirithy as Kairi calmly watches, heightening the humor of the scene:

JP おーい　チリシィー！

EN Heeey! Chirithy!

TR Heeey! Chirithyー!

Notes: Again, the English and Japanese versions are pretty much the same. Sora drags out the vowel in both languages as he calls out to Chirithy.

Then we get this odd shot of part of Sora’s leg. Our brains work slightly ahead of the scene...

...and poof, Chirithy shows up right by Sora, again heightening the humor of the scene because we expected this to happen a split second before it did. Chirithy’s incredibly unimpressed expression likewise adds to the humor:

The scene cuts to a long shot of the three of them, Kairi and Chirithy calm while Sora is shocked, which once again adds to the humor of the scene:

Note Sora’s defensive stance here, because his body quickly reacted to his surprise:

JP 何だよ　そばにいたのか

EN Whoa! Hey, why didn’t you say something?

TR What the heck? (You) were here (this whole time)?

Notes: In the English version, Sora sounds more surprised in the first sentence, but in the Japanese version, he just sounds irritated, haha. Granted, he also shows some irritation in the second sentence in the English version, so the overall gist is the same. In the Japanese version, he also uses ~dayo after nan to emphasize his irritation, and ~noka at the end of the second sentence to ask a question and make it clear he wants an explanation from Chirithy.

Notice how in this shot his hands change position to emphasize his desire for an explanation:

Next we get a shot of Chirithy at a bit of a high angle, probably to emphasize Chirithy’s cuteness and vulnerability:

JP ボクだって一応気つかってるんだから

EN I was just trying to give you some privacy.

TR I was just trying to be considerate (lit. Because even I’m [a little] aware/Because even I can be [a little] considerate/thoughtful).

Notes: Chirithy uses an interesting variation of the pronoun boku here. Normally, boku is written in kanji, but here it’s written in katakana, and I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe to make Chirithy sound different or unique?

Anyway, since Sora wanted answers, Chirithy uses the ~ndakara pattern to provide an explanation. Chirithy’s answer is also snarky as all get out in both languages, and it’s really emphasized by the tone of voice and grammar Chirithy uses. I had a little trouble translating Chirithy’s words here and maintaining a balance between a more literal reading and a more “basic gist” meaning. Part of it is because I still have trouble parsing certain formulaic expressions, which is what I’m gathering this one is. But the basic idea is that Chirithy is saying “Yeah okay, even I know when to give you some space, I can be considerate and thoughtful when I need to be, you know.”

Sora and Kairi look at each other and chuckle, but note how they are not denying what Chirithy said. They’re not all that embarrassed, either. This is a huge change from Sora turning bright red and denying Donald and Goofy when they teased him about his crush on Kairi in KH2. Now, he’s comfortable with the idea of the two of them being seen as a couple, with other people giving them privacy, because that’s the sort of thing couples want:

If anything, the way Sora scratches his head screams “Haha oops, guilty as charged, I was definitely enjoying being alone with you, Kairi”:

Kairi, as polite and friendly as always, moves to introduce herself to Chirithy. Note how the angle is low to highlight the size difference between Sora and Kairi vs. Chirithy:

But Kairi bends down so she’s closer to Chirithy’s level and offers her hand. This is really similar to what Sora does to show empathy to his smaller friends, and it’s adorable that Kairi does it too. They share a lot in common, and it really shows, even in the little things. It also shows how kind and caring Kairi is, because she’s treating Chirithy like an equal. True Disney Princess right here, befriending all the critters she runs across:

JP はじめまして

EN Nice to meet you.

TR Nice to meet you

Notes: Kairi initiates the set expression used to start an introduction in Japanese, hajimemashite. This phrase also often gets translated as “How do you do?”, but interestingly enough, it’s a conjugation of the verb for “to begin.” It’s just one of those set phrases that has a different everyday meaning than its literal meaning.

The camera shot changes, and we see a full shot with Kairi reaching out to Chirithy as Chirithy tentatively offers its paw:

They shake hands, and Chirithy returns the greeting:

JP あっ　はじめまして　無事でよかった

EN Oh, likewise! I’m glad you’re okay.

TR Oh, nice to meet you too! I’m glad you’re safe.

Notes: Chirithy lets out a little expression of surprise, then returns Kairi’s hajimemashite. Chirithy also expresses relief that Kairi is okay using bujideyokatta. Buji can mean several things, which is why I translated it as “safe” and why the official English version went with “okay.”

The next shot is of Sora and Kairi, emphasizing how Sora is about to speak:

Sora bends down a little in the same empathetic gesture he’s used before and Kairi used in this scene to help Chirithy feel more at ease:

JP でさ　俺たち帰るんだけど　チリシィもいっしょに来なよ

EN Chirithy, we’re heading home. You should come with us.

TR So, we’re heading home, but you (lit. Chirithy) should come with us.

Notes: Main thing to note here is that Japanese tends to use names when English would use pronouns. Sora uses ore to refer to himself, so it’s no surprise he uses the plural form oretachi to refer to both him and Kairi. His suggestion is worded a bit more strongly than a regular request with the use of the particle yo.

Chirithy is shocked by the proposition, and we get a shot to its reaction that’s almost at eye level to put the focus on Chirithy’s feelings:

Chirithy staggers back slightly and expresses its incredulity:

JP えええー！

EN Whaaat...?

TR Huuuh?!

Notes: Much like with Sora’s “heeey,” the vowels here are also elongated for emphasis in both Japanese and English.

We get a shot of Sora talking to Chirithy here that includes Kairi as well:

JP やっぱりさ　会いたい人を待つだけじゃダメなんだ

EN Take it from me, it’s not enough to wait for someone you care about.

TR All the same, just waiting for the person you want to meet is no good.

Notes: “All the same” isn’t necessarily the best translation here, and I much prefer the English version’s “Take it from me.” Yappari just has a lot of possible meanings, and the best way to translate it depends on context, and I’m struggling a bit here.

“Someone you care about” is literally “(the) person (you) want to meet” in Japanese. Rendering it literally would sound awkward in English, though, so the translators went with something that sounds much more natural in English.

We get a medium shot of Sora here to emphasize his next words, which are about the heart:

JP 離れていても確かに心は繋がってる

EN It’s true that hearts are connected wherever you are.

TR Even when (they)’re separated, hearts are absolutely connected.

Notes: “Connecting hearts is my power,” is Sora’s motto in Japanese, so it’s not a surprise that he reference heart connections here. And the “even when hearts are separated” language is very, very similar to things Sora has said to Kairi in the past. This scene in KH1 comes to mind:

JP カイリ　離れても僕らはもうひとりじゃない

EN Kairi, even if we’re apart, we’re not alone anymore.

TR Kairi, even if we’re separated, we’re not alone.

Before, Sora was okay with being apart from Kairi, because it was enough that their hearts were connected.

Well, that’s changed. Being apart from her isn’t acceptable to him anymore. It’s not enough that their hearts are connected; he actually wants to be by her side. That’s his priority now.

He makes a fist to indicate he truly believes what he’s saying:

Look at his expression of peace and confidence:

We get this shot of Kairi listening intently to his words as he continues. It’s clear she thinks highly of his opinions, and much like he admired her earlier, she admires him here:

JP どうしてもそばにいられないなら　その時を待つのも仕方ない

EN If it’s impossible to be together, then all you can do is wait.

TR If you can’t be together at all, then all you can do is wait (for that time).

Notes: I’m a little shaky on the “for that time” bit, because I think it’s supposed to mean “all you can do is wait for when you can be together again,” but I’m not 100% sure. Anyway, “be together,” sobaniiru, is more literally “be by (each other’s) sides, but “be together” sounds more natural in English.

Sora also uses the common expression shikatanai to indicate sometimes it can’t be helped, all you can do is wait. Shikatanai is a very common phrase that’s useful in a wide variety of situations, so if you’re learning Japanese, that’s a good one to remember.

The next shot is a high angle centered on Chirithy. We saw Kairi’s reaction to Sora’s words, and now we get to watch Chirithy’s:

JP でも　もし　そばにいられるなら　そばにいたほうがいい

EN But, if it is possible for you to be together, then that’s how it should be.

TR But, if you can be together, it’s better to be together.

Notes: Sora uses the ~hōgaii construction to give Chirithy advice here.

JP ソラー

EN Sora...

TR Soraー

Notes: No differences really, Chirithy just says Sora’s name.

Then we get this full shot of the three of them again to draw our attention to the beauty of the Final World:

JP ここはさ　確かにきれいな場所だけど　一人で見るより大事な人といっしに見たほうがいい

EN You know, this really is a beautiful place. But you’d enjoy it so much more with someone you care about.

TR This place really is beautiful. But it’s better to see it with someone important to you (lit. an important person) than it is to see it alone.

Notes: To avoid having my translation be really choppy, I reordered the words a bit. But in the Japanese version, Sora says something more like “Here (emphasis), is a really pretty place but,” if I were to transcribe it more literally. He also contrasts seeing this place alone (which is nice enough, and which he has done) to seeing it with someone you care about (which he has also done), literally daijinahito in Japanese. The latter is far preferable in his eyes, and he once again gives Chirithy advice using ~hōgaii.

Next, we get this shot of Sora to draw attention to what he does next...

...which is look at Kairi. He says these words, he talks about how important it is to spend time with someone who is precious to you, and it’s clear from his body language who he considers important:

He smiles as Kairi turns her head to look at him:

JP さっき　カイリといっしょに見て思った

EN Before, when I was looking around with Kairi,

TR Earlier, when I was looking around with Kairi, I thought

Notes: We get a better idea of what was going through Sora’s head earlier as he gazed lovingly at Kairi and only briefly looked at the scenery.

Kairi looks at him...

...they share a moment...

...and then Sora explains to Chirithy what he thought about:

JP 何かを共有しあうのも時には大事なことなんだ

EN I remembered how important it is... to share moments with friends.

TR Sometimes it’s important to share some things (with someone else/with each other).

Notes: When Sora looked at Kairi earlier, he realized how important it is (again, the word daiji is used here, paralleling the use of daiji earlier) to share things with her. He is, by extension, generalizing that advice to Chirithy to get Chirithy to agree to go home to Ven.

And because it has to be said... (insert deep sigh here...) there is no mention of “friends” in the Japanese version. The English version probably added it in because the sentence would’ve sounded too vague and unnatural in English, which you can see by my more literal “sometimes it’s important to share some things (with each other).” Do you know anyone who talks that vaguely? Exactly.

This is not “proof” Sora friendzoned Kairi in the English version either. He is taking an empathetic stance and is relating his situation with Kairi to Chirithy’s situation with Ven. Obviously, Sora’s bond with Kairi is different from Chirithy’s with Ven, but what they share in common is that they consider the other person important. And of course Sora would consider Kairi his friend; that’s the foundation of any good romantic relationship. Just because he calls her his friend in the English version does not mean that’s all he sees her as (clearly, as he keeps looking at her lovingly throughout this whole scene). Besides, either the English version of the games gets priority in terms of interpretation, or the Japanese version does (or you take a third option and use both to interpret scenes). Consistency is key here, and all I ask is that other people translating and interpreting these scenes give a fair shake to both versions instead of cherry picking which one suits their narrative better.

Anyway, continuing on.

Sora finishes his speech, and the focus is once again on Chirithy:

JP だから　いっしょにここを出て　チリシィの友達のところに連れて行くよ

EN That’s why you’re coming with us. I’m taking you to see your friend, Chirithy.

TR That’s why (you)’re leaving this place with us. We’ll take you to your (lit. Chirithy’s) friend.

Notes: “Friend” pops up here in the English version, but only in reference to Chirithy’s friend, aka Ven. The Japanese version uses “Chirithy’s friend” because again, names are more commonly used than pronouns, whereas in English, the opposite is true. Also, Sora ends his statement with the particle yo to give it a little more emphasis.

Chirithy is so touched that it starts crying over Sora’s kind offer:

And then Chirithy agrees and bows:

JP うん

EN (Sobbing noises)

TR Okay

Kairi likewise nods to show her agreement:

And then we get this shot of Sora and Kairi from Chirithy’s POV:

They smile at Chirithy, and Sora offers his hand, just like he did to Aqua earlier in the game. Notice how they both bend down a little to once again bring themselves closer to Chirithy’s level:

JP よし　行こう！

EN Okay! Let’s go!

TR Okay, let’s go!

Notes: Pretty straightforward meaning, no additional comments here.

And that’s a wrap! The scene fades to white:

Thank you for taking the time to read! Screenshots are from here. General disclaimer about how my Japanese abilities are a work in progress, same with my translation abilities, and I’m working on learning how to do more film analysis type things. The guides here and here were excellent references for different types of camera angles and shots.

#sokai #re:mind #re:mind spoilers #kh3 #kh3 spoilers #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kh translation #kh analysis #phoenix plays kh3 #sora #kairi #chirithy #phoenix downer #phoenix translates #long post

211 notes · View notes

acciomanorian · 5 years ago

Text

Pandemonium One-Shot

Hi Y’all, it seems I spent forever on writing this one-shot, even though I had only finished the book 2 weeks ago. This is a continuation of a scene from Pandemonium by Willow Anderson (which I highly recommend. Please go read it). The beginning line was brought over from the original book, as well as some of the dialogue, but just about every thing else in original content from yours truly.

This fic does get a little heated so recommend 16+.

“You have lovely taste.” His fingers trailed over her satin sheets, and Lace blushed. It was strange, having the Ringmaster in her room. Sure, he may have sent those boxes with the beautiful dresses, but those were only pieces of him, not him.

Slowly, his hand moved from her bed to her face, softly cupping her cheek. Lace flinched back, his hands cold against her skin. “Don’t you trust me?” His voice was soft, sensitive, vulnerable. Lace itched to reach out, to cover his hand with her own.

“How can I trust you? You have put me and every other winner at risk time and time again. A man died tonight.”

“And I mean it when I say, that wasn’t supposed to happen. Nobody was supposed to get hurt.” Lace nodded softly, not believing him entirely, but she could see the remorse in his eyes, behind the mask.

“Can you really give me the name I seek?” She said nothing else, but the Ringmaster knew exactly what Lace was talking about.

“Yes,” he whispered softly, drawing his hand away from where it still remained on her cheek. It didn’t go far, though, moving to rest on her hand where it rested against the bed frame. The Ringmaster began to draw circles on the back of her hand, soothing her but also inciting another reaction. One she couldn’t quite place yet.

The Ringmaster took a step forward. “What do you want?” he asked, bringing his face dangerously close to Lace’s. He smelled like a nice mix of mint and caramel, strange for a normal person, but perhaps not so much for someone who led Pandemonium. It wasn’t unpleasant, and for a brief moment, Lace thought that it wouldn’t be so bad to wake up to the scent.

“I intend to be the victor of the contest.” She stepped closer to the Ringmaster, not daring to breathe.

If anybody walked in on them now, if those damned guards outside her door woke up and decided it would be a good idea to check on their princess, the position would be compromising, but perhaps Lace didn’t care. Especially not as her hand found the back of his neck, as the Ringmaster’s hands slid up to her shoulders, her face, to hold the sides of her face, thumbs brushing her lips.

Her eyes traced his lips, even as he leaned forward, brushing a simple kiss across her own. Lace closed her eyes at the sensation, leaning her head back as the Ringmaster began a series of butterfly kisses, ending at her collarbone before working back up to her lips. Her answering sigh was enough encouragement for the Ringmaster, as he again caught her lips with his own.

Lace’s hands moved to his hair as they kissed with a new vigor, his hands sliding down to her waist. Her fingers tangled with the ties of the mask still covering his face, but they neither tightened or loosened, as if tied together by magic. Magic that kept the mask in place.

They pulled each other closer, pressing against each other even as they moved closer to the side of the bed, the back of Lace’s knees hitting the very covers the Ringmaster had commented on earlier that evening. They remained that way, even as Lace removed her hands from the Ringmaster’s hair and started to untie the laces from the back of her dress. The Ringmaster also helped, moving one hand to the back of her neck to keep them steady while the other hand began to undo the buttons that also held the dress together.

It wasn’t long until her dress found itself on the floor, along with the Ringmaster’s jacket and shirt. Still wearing her shift, Lace pushed back onto the pillows, dragging the Ringmaster with her and pulling him back down with her.

Although Lace had never done anything like this before, aside from the small kiss she had shared with Killian two nights ago, she seemed to take charge, the Ringmaster allowing her to lead. She let instinct take over, flipping them around so that she was on top, her legs wrapping around his waist, her shift sliding up her thighs. Again, she felt the Ringmaster’s cold hands on her skin, as they wrapped around her exposed thighs. This time, however, she didn’t recoil, and instead welcomed the feeling against her heated body.

Deepening the kiss even more, the Ringmaster slid his tongue inside of her mouth. Lace shifted, and as she did so, felt the Ringmaster, hard against her backside. It awakened something deep inside of her, and Lace began to grind herself against him, trying to relieve some of the pressure, to no avail.

The Ringmaster placed his hands on her hips, pulling up her clothes and his hands moved up her back rubbing softly before coming around to her breasts. From the position of her shift, it wasn’t hard for the Ringmaster to remove his mouth from her own and find its way to her left breast, leaving a kiss directly over her heart. She moaned, even as her skin prickled and goosebumps formed along her arms. He sucked on the skin for a brief moment, leaving a tiny mark before repeating the action on the right side.

Leaning down, Lace began to kiss the corner of his lips, his chin, his neck, down his chest right to the dip in his waist, where her access was limited thanks to the pants still covering his bottom half. The Ringmaster’s breath hitched as she trailed her fingers along the line caused by his pants, and then slid her fingers in deeper, pushing back the hem for more access to his body.

Lace heard footsteps in the hallway, coming towards her bedroom door. “Shit!” she cried, leaping up from the bed to where her dress and the Ringmaster’s clothes had ended up on the floor. She had been so caught up in the moment, so caught up in the Ringmaster, that it seemed they had forever to lay in bed, forever to revel in each other's company. “You have to leave. If they know you were here, what we were doing, Robert would kill me, that is, if Rochelle and Erik don’t get to me first.”

Without even bothering to get fully dressed, the Ringmaster walked over to wear Lace standing, and leaned over to plant another kiss on Lace’s lips. His dark eyes were shining with desire, and Lace felt butterflies in her stomach, despite the trouble she could be in if caught. “For the record, I know you will win.”

A knock on her door had Lace looking away, and when she looked back towards the Ringmaster, the space in front of her was missing. The only reminder of what she had experienced was a box sitting on the floor, the color a deep red, the color of the blood spilled earlier today.

If you want to be tagged, send me an ask… some of you aren’t permanent tags, but if you want to be, just tell me. I hope you all enjoyed!

@nightbringer @frucienforever @bookittothelibrary @ireallyshouldsleeprn @theoceanfaewriter @ilyriangarden @willowandersonauthor

#pandemonium #willow anderson #lace ashburn #ringmaster #lacexringmaster #i hope that you like this #please enjoy #tusermonique

23 notes · View notes

meta-squash · 4 years ago

Text

Brick Club 2.1.2 “Hougomont”

Usually I support the translation choices made by FMA but sometimes they’re so odd. The first sentence translates bûcheron as “forester” rather than “woodcutter” or “lumberjack” which makes the sentence connotatively the exact opposite, so that’s weird. Also apparently FMA spells it wrong? According to google it’s “Hougoumont” but FMA says “Hougomont,” no second U.

Immediately we come to another door. This one is a sixteenth-century door. I think the door in the last chapter was an introduction to the location: we have now transitioned to the field of Waterloo. This door is old. This door is an introduction to history: we are not talking about present-day 1861, or even “present-day” within the time frame of the story (1823-ish), we’re talking about the past now. We have transitioned to the history of the field of Waterloo.

“A monumental aspect is often produced by ruin.” Man, I love this line. Things become strangely, hauntingly grand once they start to fall apart. They feel old and wise, when it’s buildings. People start reminiscing about the good old days, when it’s empires or societies. It starts to feel bigger than it is, greater than the sum of its parts as people start layering the past upon it. But also, I love that he says this line about things becoming monumental, and then describes the most ordinary of farm scenes, with shovels and dung heaps and horses and chickens and all that. This place is “monumental” not because of its layers of history but because of one huge event; otherwise it would have been mundane. And this mundane area could have been a global victory, had Napoleon won here.

“The hens are scattering the dirt with their beaks. There is a growling: It is a large dog, who bares his teeth, taking the place of the English.” How long have the English been personified as doglike? Where did that even come from? And is Hugo being subtly symbolic here, with the inclusion of the hens? I know that the rooster was a symbol of the Revolution, but I don’t know about hens. It feels like this is a France-versus-England moment of symbolism, but I’m not sure.

Hugo describes the layout of the battlefield so vividly and yet I still have such a hard time visualizing it. In my readthrough last February I doodled my guess for the layout at the top of my notes and just now I googled it and was almost right, so that’s reassuring. Still, this is the section I have the hardest time following and visualizing because military tactics are just not something my brain understands. Spatial imagination needed to pack things well into a certain space? I’ve got that. Spacial imagination needed to visualize how troops move across space in certain formations? Nope.

“...this heroic section of wall.” The first “hero” mentioned in all of this, in the entire battle of Waterloo, is not a human, but a wall. Throughout this section Hugo talks so much about various people continuing on, getting back on horses despite being injured and moving forward despite being basically unarmed, refusing to admit defeat and charging anyway, continuing alone without the help of other soldiers, etc etc. This wall is the epitome of all of that: unarmed, battered, but unmoving.

Oooh, a cart-door. Two of Hugo’s favorite symbols. Society and transition.

“You still feel the storm of combat in this court: Its horror is visible; the upheaval of conflict is petrified there; it lives, it dies; it was only yesterday. The walls are still in death throes; the stones fall, the breaches cry out; the holes are wounds; the trees bend and shudder, as if making an effort to escape.” I don’t have much to say about this paragraph in terms of symbolism because it’s pretty obvious but man, this is one of those paragraphs where you can tell Hugo was a poet first and foremost. It’s just so pretty.

“The stairway has two landings; the English, besieged in this place, and crowded onto the upper steps, had cut away the lower ones.” I know technically this is just a popular tactic in battle, but I can’t help but remember that this is also a tactic employed at the barricade later on, at the very end when everyone retreats to the upstairs of the Corinthe. I feel as though there are a lot of parallels between Waterloo and the barricade, and I wish I knew more about Waterloo so I could make better analyses aside from just “huh this seems like a parallel I don’t know what else to say about it.”

“A dozen steps still cling to the wall: On the first is cut the image of a trident. These inaccessible steps are firm in their sockets; all the rest looks like a toothless jawbone. Two old trees are there; one is dead, the other is wounded at the foot and does not leaf out until April. Since 1815 it had begun to grow across the staircase.” This feels like one massive metaphor but again, I don’t know enough about Waterloo or French history to pull out its meaning.

“You ask, Why is there no bucket and no pulley to this one? Because no water is drawn from it now. Why is no more water drawn from it? Because it is full of skeletons.” No joke, this is one of my favorite lines in this book. It’s done so matter-of-fact and yet horrific in a way that kind of gives you chills.

“This well, where so many of the dead drank, was also to die.” Something about this line reminds me of Hugo’s description that will come up a little later of the hollow Ohain road. Which is something I’m really excited to come to.

“Typhus comes with triumph.” I really feel like this could be connected back (or forward, I suppose) to the sewer-history digression and the cholera epidemic? But I’m not sure how.

Oh, and a brief description of another door. Only, the Hanoverian Lieutenant didn’t get to open it, and neither do we. That severed hand means we’re just going to look at the house, we’re not going into it yet. Instead we turn and look to the yard.

“The orchard is awful.” I love that this gets its own paragraph. This sentence is so intense and yet so vague. The sense of foreboding and strangeness here reminds me a little of the strangeness of Valjean’s dream, only we’re about to get context for this, and we never get context for the dream’s awfulness or imagery.

I’m sure the description of the six First Light Infantrymen taking 45 minutes to die in battle against 600 Hanoverian companies has a purposeful later parallel in the barricade. Again I wish I knew more of the Actual History details and things so I could pull more symbolism out, but mostly for this one it’s all just impressions because military history is complicated and confuses me.

The nature described here is surely symbolism as well. I’m not sure what to make of the fact that Hugo deliberately points out that the tree near the stairs in the Hougoumont manor doesn’t leaf out until April, and that the trees and plants in the orchard are “as responsive as any other to the month of May.”

And then Hugo sweeps all of this beautiful description away, all this grandeur away, with the dialogue of one single peasant reducing the battle down to a story to be sold for three francs.

I love this chapter because it’s so weirdly detailed and yet weirdly vague. It’s this extremely speedy summary of the massacre that occurred, but the lengthy descriptions are reserved not for the actual skirmishes but the remnants and scars and and small scenery details and things.

#les miserables #les miserables meta #lm 2.1.2 #brickclub #les mis #les mis meta #okay so i had more to say than i thought i would #surprise surprise

5 notes · View notes

cassandracaiin · 5 years ago

Text

Gary’s Mental Health: An Analysis of His Character.

Spoilers ahead.

If you play Love Island The Game 2019 and make it to Day 26, you stumble upon a concerned Gary, who is sitting by himself. After a brief chat, he proceeds to tell your MC that he’s had some problems with how he felt about his body in the past. He often comes across a simple guy, who is always bantering and fooling around, and most players tend to think that he only talks about his nan and cranes, so the sudden seriousness of this conversation may have seemed odd for some of you. Despite this, the unexpected confession he makes didn’t go unnoticed by the fandom, with many starting to appreciate him more because of it.

Few realize how important and revealing this conversation is. If you connect the right dots across the whole game, it helps to explain lots of his actions, beliefs and behavior. So, in this analysis I’ll be doing that: I’ll be providing you with all the information you’ll need to understand the subject, inserting exact quotes of the game and breaking down some crucial scenes. Because of this, this post will be really long, so get comfy, grab some snacks and prepare for an extensive reading.

Before starting, I must remind you that Gary is, indeed, a fictional character. That’s why I’ll be analyzing quotes and scenes straight out of the game and trying not to speculate furthermore. I think it’s interesting to tie the traits and personality of a fictional character to real life psychology and mental health, so this will be me basically explaining his condition and relating it to his canon personality and actions. Also, in some portions of this post I’ll be applying “real world rules”, because his mental illness is a real thing that happens in the real world.

I’ll go as far as to say that, after reading this entire rant, you’ll probably never see Gary the same way again— but that’s okay, because he’s such a layered character who also used to struggle with a mental illness and, instead of mental illnesses being a taboo topic, they should be met with open arms and discussed overtly and sincerely.

Mental Illness Warning/Trigger.

As I mentioned before, Gary’s condition is a real thing, so this post contains several mentions of mental health related topics and illnesses. If you feel uncomfortable about this type of things, I advise you not to keep reading. I’ll try to keep it as light and understandable as possible, regardless. Those who want to dive deeper should check the links I’ll leave at the end of the post.

This is a heavy topic, but I strongly believe it should be addressed. Even more importantly, I want to spread awareness, because, as you will read further ahead, this is still an under-recognized and frequently left untreated condition, that is becoming more and more common all around the world.

Disclaimer: I’m not a psychiatrist, but I am a med student. I’ve had classes and training about mental health and, specifically, about Gary’s condition. I’ll be leaving some extra sources and additional content down below, for those who are interested in verifying the information that I’ll be breaking down for you. Also, I’m open to receive feedback about it from someone who could know more than me, such as a doctor or a psychiatrist, because, as I said, I’m still just a med student.

So, without further do, let’s get started.

What does Gary have?

After reading the conversation he has with MC in Day 26, Gary’s evident diagnosis is Muscle Dysmorphia. We’ll be using the acronym MD to refer to it from now on.

What is MD?

MD is a subtype of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).

What is a BDD, you may ask? It’s a condition in which people see themselves differently than others see them, and it’s characterized by persistent and intrusive preoccupations with one's appearance, that are really difficult to resist or control. These unwanted thoughts or ideas (called “obsessions”) make them feel that they need to perform certain activities (called “compulsions”). When applied to MD, the obsession becomes the level of muscularity, and the compulsion is to achieve a higher level of muscularity.

MD comes with the exaggerated belief that one's own body is too small, too skinny or scrawny, even though the individual's build is normal or exceptionally large and muscular already. Is often confused with vanity, but this is not the case, as most MD patients don't want to look great, they just want to look acceptable. Typically, people with MD have low self-esteem. It can be experienced by either males or females, but in this post I’ll be addressing the patients as males, because I will be also relating it to unhealthy masculinity.

What causes MD? It doesn’t have a specific cause, but there are factors that could help its development. Most studies sustain that suffering from bullying for smallness or weakness is the most frequent trait in MD patients. Some also attribute this disorder to the effect of the media, as society bombards people at younger ages with images of what an “ideal” body looks like, even more considering how marketing campaigns once targeting only female body image insecurities are now aimed at males as well. Because of this, MD is likely to increase in general population.

Does it have a treatment? Yes, it does. Most are treated with therapy that targets damaging behavior, as for example, cut down on the amount of time they’re checking themselves in the mirror or in the gym, which helps them think less about their appearance. Therapists also help them deal with the fears they might have, like possibly losing muscle mass or size if they exercise less.

Many do not seek treatment; the biggest hurdle is convincing the person with MD that he needs help. The psychological and social consequences often go unrecognized, especially because they usually appear to be in good health, at least in the short term. To properly address MD, society has to change in how we approach our body image in general. Traditionally, males are not supposed to be concerned with looks, let alone talk about them, because if they do, they will be viewed as “feminine”. Encouraging men to talk about their inner feelings is a good first step to bring down stigmas about their body image.

How does MD affect someone’s life?

People with MD engage in behaviors aimed at achieving a muscular physique, as I mentioned earlier. They include excessive exercise, following rigid diets, and also spending countless amounts of money in supplements. Sometimes, they may also use anabolic-androgenic steroids (I’ll be referring to them as “AAS”), which cause serious damage to the body if used excessively.

Low self-esteem is a crucial factor here. People with MD try to enhance their self-esteem by building muscular mass, but they keep feeling that is never enough. “Every muscle could be bigger. I could be leaner” they tell themselves. They look at the mirror and they feel like everything is still small and weak, that they’re ugly, that they have no chest muscles, no arm muscles, no abs— And the reality is that they are often huge and incredibly muscular. Some of them also touch, flex, poke or pinch their muscles a lot, to make sure that they haven’t lost size.

Their relationships with other people often fall apart as time passes. They frequently avoid important social or occupational activities, like going to family reunions or to work, because of the need to maintain their excessive exercise and rigid diet.

How does one draw the line between being fitness or having MD? Believe it or not, Gary explains it in the game. He says, “I was really shocked when the doctor told me that if it’s getting in the way of the rest of your life, then it’s a problem”. Certainly, when working out and obsessing about the body becomes a problem in the person’s life, along with having these bad thoughts about themselves, it’s better to seek help and ask a health professional about it.

So, why is Day 26 so relevant?

Day 26 is important for Gary’s character because it tells us a huge lot of things about him and his past. Across his dialogue there are so many details that few people seem to truly notice, so I’ll be breaking down this day for you.

Let’s start analyzing this day from the beginning, with it being the first conversation MC has with Gary. She finds him sitting alone by the pool, rubbing his upper arm. After greeting her, he flexes his bicep and then pokes at it. If MC asks him if he is worried about his gains, he surprisingly responds “Yeah, I am a bit”. In comparison to the rest of his answers, this is the one that tells us that the reason he is bummed out is because of how he feels about his body, rather than how he actually looks.

Next, he asks “Do you think I look as good as I did when we first met?”. After seeing him acting this way, we can notice that he is looking for reassurance, but even if MC answers that he looks better every day, he responds with things like “Thanks! It’s nice to have that support, even if I don’t think it’s true” and “I never believe anyone when they say I look buff”. As you probably read in this post, this is a common trait amongst individuals with MD. Even when people around them tell them that they are big, muscular, huge and so on, they never truly believe it themselves because they just can’t see themselves in that way—the person that looks back at them in the mirror is still somewhat skinny. And here’s a huge clarification: Gary knows that people think he is buff, but he doesn’t see it himself, and that’s why he doesn’t exactly believe it.

At this point, I think Gary is starting to notice that the chat could turn to a topic that he’s not ready to talk about yet, because he seems to divert the conversation by saying that the reason he doesn’t believe he’s buff is because he simply doesn’t want to get big-headed about it, and that thinking this way keeps him motivated. But even with those modest answers, he’s still letting us know that he’s always aiming at improving his physique.

And after that, he flexes his arm again. If you payed attention, you may have noticed a pattern here, which is another common characteristic of MD patients: the one where they have the compulsion to feel and touch their muscles, as a way of making sure they’re not as skinny as they think they are.

Gary finishes the chat by commenting lightheartedly “Those weights aren’t going to lift themselves” and walking off in the direction of the gym. This bit actually makes me sad, because it leads me to think that he gave in to the compulsion of going to the gym.

After the challenge, MC meets him again and he, indeed, says “I started to do some weights, but then I had to check my head a bit”, indicating that after compulsively going to the gym, he realized that he wasn’t working out for the right reasons and what was actually driving him to exercise were the intrusive thoughts of his MD. Beyond that, this is also a sign that he can actually distinguish between his normal and healthy interest in working out and the compulsions caused by MD.

Later in the conversation, he explains that it all started when he used to see this massive and muscular superheroes in comics and noticed he didn’t look like them, because he was small, even smaller than the rest of the kids at school. He tells MC, “I’d look at those superheroes, and then back at myself. I didn’t look like them”. This is a clear reference to the media influencing the development of BBD’s and specially MD in younger boys.

It’s evident that at this point in his life he began to believe that having a muscular body would be a solution to his problems, and you can confirm that in this phrase: “It can feel like everything is telling you, things will be better if you’re stronger or more muscly”. And after his nan stepped in to take on the role of his dad, the bullying towards him increased, which just made this belief even stronger. “And whenever someone would say something to me, I’d wish I was bigger and stronger than them so they wouldn’t dare” he states, following with “So when I got older, I started working out”.

Gary goes on to say that exercising didn’t help on the long run. “At first, working out made a huge difference. I started to feel more confident. I felt like I could stick up for myself, and I got a lot more positive comments. People started to notice me in a good way, you know?” he declares. He basically tells MC that he started building his self-esteem around his physique, rather than around his inner self.

“The problem is, it never felt enough”. We see here, once again, a classic trait of people suffering from MD.

After this, comes a phrase that got me thinking: “Especially once I left school and had more time and money”. When reading this, I asked myself why having more money was relevant in things going downhill for Gary. By this point, he had already been working out and probably paying for the gym membership anyway, so I figured that this “new” money could have gone elsewhere, maybe in buying supplements to grow muscle mass faster. I can’t rule out completely the possibility that he got to the point of using AAS, but giving his personality and recovery I don’t think he went that far. Or at least I hope he didn’t.

“I kept going to the gym even when I knew I’d been going too much” he continues “It was actually my nan who noticed things were getting out of hand”. For this, us Gary fans should feel grateful. This is one of the billion reasons why he loves his nan so much. The woman rescued him from sinking deeper into his disorder, she was the only one who noticed that he wasn’t in a good place and that working out was actually tearing his life apart. She could see right through the healthy and good looking muscular man she had in front of him, as nobody else was able to see that he was still just a scrawny insecure boy on the inside. This was probably one of the lowest points in his life, if not the lowest, and his nan pulled him up and stuck with him through it all.

Afterwards, Gary states again that he struggled when it came to stop exercising. “I’d hurt my wrist cos I was lifting more than I should, but I didn’t rest or stop lifting so the problem just kept getting worse” he says “Eventually it got so bad that I had to take time off work, but I was still trying to go to the gym because I couldn’t stand missing sessions”. Even if he wanted to stop, the compulsions and unwanted thoughts took over him and he kept going to the gym.

When being asked if he couldn’t see how bad the situation was, Gary answers with “Being so strong and tough was so important to me that it felt like I couldn’t ask for help”, yet again being a reference of the way society influences young men, leading them to believe that being masculine and strong means also not talking about one’s feelings, less opening to others about one’s insecurities.

When talking about his therapy, he explains that once he started speaking about how he felt, he could see everything more clearly. He says “I’d lost sight of why I wanted to be so buff before. I couldn’t see that it wasn’t good for me”. Indeed, at first he wanted to get more muscular to enhance his self-esteem, to make himself feel better and gain confidence, but at that point it had become an actual disorder, getting in the middle of his life, getting him injured and making him stop going to work, amongst other things. Focusing on his body was actually making him feel worse because it came along with the sensation that he wasn’t making progress, even after all the time and effort he’d put into being more muscular. He also comments “By that point, I was like, ‘mate, working out is my life’”, this also being a characteristic of patients with MD, as their obsession takes over their life.

To wrap this section of this post, let’s talk shortly about his recovery. Gary says that his wrist eventually healed and that he kept going to therapy. “It took a while, but now I know when I’m doing something for the right reasons” he tells MC “It’s a constant balance though. You have to keep working on it”. After starting therapy, he understood that he can keep working out and caring about his looks without it taking over his life again or making him feel worse about his image, but that he will always have to maintain a certain equilibrium, so he doesn’t get out of control again.

“It’s okay for me to work out and be active, but I have to check in with myself. If those thoughts start coming back I know to call up my GP and get talking again”. This phrases are a total relief, as they let us know that he has learned when to seek help and, more importantly, to read the signs of his own mind telling him about his MD thoughts coming back. It’s even more relieving when he finishes with “I can still have tough moments, but I’m so much better at working through them now”.

Overall, Day 26 makes us realize that he hasn’t always been as confident as he seems, less felt good about his body image. It gives his character more depth; he’s not just a lighthearted lad that talks about cranes, makes dad jokes and loves his nan anymore. And reading between lines helps us get an even fuller picture of what he went through and the state he is in now.

How do MD and his past affect Gary’s general behavior?

After all that information, let’s start this with something simpler. I’m going to name a few stressful events for Gary during his time at the Villa: the morning after the first recoupling, Lucas and Henrik’s arrival and all the girls-pick recouplings.

Where is he after all those events? You guessed it, he’s at the gym.

I have been asked if this is him working out to relieve anxiety, but I’m not sure if it’s always the case. Of course, he mentions that for him there’s nothing like burning off some tension in the gym, so most times he could be working out to clear his mind and to feel less stressed out.

Despite this, in other situations and considering his condition, it could be also him starting to feel insecure about himself. It’s likely that when he begins feeling that way, those bad thoughts about his body image and compulsions, caused by MD, start to come back, so he can’t avoid going to the gym to make sure he doesn’t lose body mass and muscle. Because of his MD, he could have the sensation that, if he loses size, bad things will happen to him—girls won’t pick him at the recouplings, people will start to make fun of him again for being small, he’ll look less attractive in comparison to the rest of the male Islanders and so on. Having all of this in consideration, in some cases I actually think it’s him still struggling with insecurity and his MD, rather than just anxiety and stress.

There is a moment in the game that got me confused at first, but after thinking about it I was able to figure out what was really going on. It happens when MC goes to spot the boys at the gym and, during the conversation, Rahim points out “See! I told you your form was off, Gary”, which makes the corners of Gary’s lips turn upside down. “All right, settle down. I don’t usually use a gym, okay” he responds and strikes a pose, flexing “This is all natural…”. I’m sure that in this moment he was lying. From what he confessed in Day 26, we know he’s been working out since his teens (remember that he’s 23, so he has at least been doing it for five or six years), so it’s obvious that his body built is not exactly natural, more so if we consider that he used to get bullied for being too small. In this situation and with a recoupling coming soon, he probably didn’t want to get embarrassed by Rahim’s comment in front of MC, so he blurted out some excuse, basically saying that his bad form is technically product of him being unexperienced. Again, we see him being insecure.

Now, I’m not saying that him being at the gym and working out is always a bad thing. In fact, he it looks like he has fun and socializes with the rest of the boys when they’re all exercising together. He seems to have a good balance of how much time he spends there and, most importantly, knows when to stop. We notice this when he tells MC things like “There’s nothing like burning off some tension in the gym. But I need to have some other ways to deal with how I’m feeling too” and “I don’t want to end up just going to the gym whenever I’m bored or stressed out about something else”. The thing is, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we find him at the gym after stressful events, even more when you have in mind that he doesn’t want to go there with the sole purpose of relieving stress.

So, we see Gary often flexing his muscles, right? I actually think this behavior of his has two sides. As you may have read earlier in this post, people with MD have this tendency to touch their muscles a lot. I think that in situations of stress like Day 26 this could be the case for him. But the other side of it, and the most important one in my opinion, is that this adds a cheeky, playful and confident aspect to his character. It lets us know that he enjoys the attention and that he likes to show off.

Now, it’s certain that him showing off means that his recovering has been really successful so far, knowing that people with MD tend to avoid showing their body to others because they are ashamed of the way they look. The fact that he’s in a swimming suit during the entire show, being recorded for national TV and knowing millions of people are watching, is a huge signal that he feels significantly better about his body and image. He has learned to love and appreciate his body in some way, hence the question he so often asks, so cheekily “Like what you see?” and he feels proud enough to show it off. The fact that he knows he’s attractive to others makes all the difference for his self-image, even if he doesn’t necessarily believe it himself. And, trust me, that with him being a MD patient it took him a lot to get where he is now in terms of confidence and feeling comfortable in his own skin.

Moving to another topic, something that always caught my attention is that Gary is constantly worrying about others. We see this in cases like when he comforts Lottie after Hannah gets dumped from the Island or when he pulls her for a chat when he notices that she’s stressed out about the Rocco situation, when he offers Chelsea a tissue after he sees her crying over the gossip-sneezer drama, all of the moments he demonstrates being protective of MC’s feelings when they’re coupled up and even during his Mr. Love Island speech. His type also includes a girl who cares about others and doesn’t get involved in drama, to match his personality. After analyzing his past, we understand why he is always trying to reach out when another Islander feels sad and why he is one of the first ones to offer a helping hand. It’s mainly because there was a time in his life when he struggled with getting help for feeling bad about himself and wished someone had reached out to him in a similar way. He knows that people could be struggling internally without anyone noticing, just like it happened to him.

I’m sure that during his stay in the Villa, Gary tries his best not to hurt anyone. An example of this is his chat with MC after he lies about kissing Marisol. He feels bad about it and promises to apologize to her, and the players don’t get frowns for calling him out as a signal that he owns his mistake. Another example is if MC chooses to couple with him in Day 9, right after the recoupling Gary tells her that he feels bad for Lottie, because he knows that she fancies him. He says, with a sad expression “I feel bad that I’m here treading on someone’s toes, but I guess that’s what it’s about, right? I just hope everyone here finds someone that wants to be with them, long term”.

If you’ve gone this far in this post, I’m sure that by now you may have a few questions about his overall personality, so to finish this segment I’ll answer the most relevant ones:

Is Gary’s confident personality a facade? I’m one hundred percent sure it is not, especially considering that he has a cheeky sense of humor and that he likes to show off. In my opinion, he acts this way because he has learned that confidence is good. That his body is good enough to show, and that his personality, stories and awful jokes are worth sharing with others. It’s incredibly healthy for him to feel this way about himself.

Is Gary fragile? My answer to this is yes and no. Why yes? It’s mainly because we still see him acting insecure across the game and because he will always have traces of low self-esteem, giving his condition. He will be always more likely to overthink about his physical appearance and more prone to feel poorly about himself when he compares himself to more muscular men. Why no, then? Because after the end of the chat with him at Day 26, he states that now he knows when to seek help, how to maintain a balance on his exercising habits and that, overall, he has accepted his illness. He doesn’t get hijacked by bad thoughts about himself anymore and he seems to know the boundary that distinguishes a benign interest in physical appearance from the bad thoughts that come along with MD, which makes him less prone to come back to that low point he reached in the past.

Relationships.

Now I’m going to make a few comments about his main relationships while in the Villa, with them being his relationship with Lottie and his relationship with MC.

We never know for sure if he eventually tells Lottie about his past, but I have the feeling that he doesn’t, especially because in Day 26 he tells MC “I don’t always tell people why she’s (his nan) so important in my life. And now you know”, suggesting that maybe she is the only one in the Villa that has this information as of now.

Either way, the thing that bothers me about the way the Lottie-Gary ship is written is that most of the time we see them arguing and not agreeing in lots of things. In some cases, this could be considered “cute” or “entertaining”, but it isn’t when you notice Gary confesses a few times that it worries him and has him on edge, saying that he can never know how Lottie is going to react to things or wondering in what mood she’s going to be in. As a clarification, I’m not debating in whether Lottie is unstable or not, because it really doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. What matters in this case is that Gary perceives her being that way.

The constant uncertainty of his partner’s behavior could harm Gary in the long run, as we know that he is still attending to therapy sessions and going through bad days from time to time, and without someone who he can know for sure will support him and reassuring him whenever he needs, things could start to get more difficult for him to handle.

Moving to his relationship with MC, if you have done a Gary playthrough, you know that he constantly tells her that he doesn’t feel like a weirdo when he is around her and, basically, that he feels that he can be himself. If we take in consideration his history and personality, this makes a huge difference for him, as we’ve seen him get to the point of lying so he doesn’t get embarrassed in front of the girls. When being in a relationship with MC, he is finally able to let go of some of his insecurities and stops worrying about how other girls perceive him.

So, moving past that, I just wanted to quickly point out something about their relationship that seems interesting to me. In one of the gem scenes, Gary tells MC “My nan would like you. You keep me in check. She’d say I need someone like that around”. I couldn’t help but notice that he uses the same verb in the past when referring to him getting his thoughts straight by differentiating between the intrusive beliefs caused by his MD and what is actually real. This could be his way of telling MC that she keeps him grounded, that he could never feel insecure when being with her and that she, somehow, helps him to keep away the bad thoughts about himself. And of course his nan would like that—she’d love seeing his grandson with someone who he feels safe with. Because of this, I think that his relationship with MC is by far the healthiest one he could have in the Villa, and even in the playthroughs when they’re not a couple, the reason being that he opens to her about his past either way.

In conclusion.

I think it’s really interesting the way Fusebox tried to insert real life troubles and conditions into their characters. For me, this made a big difference when playing the game, because the majority of the characters feel real, specially in comparison to Season 1; whether you like a character or not, we all have to agree that every single one of them has a very defined personality and behavior, and that is a compelling aspect of the gameplay.

I also like the way they made the Love Island boys break stereotypes and dismiss toxic masculinity. In Gary’s case, we see this reflected in him being always open and sincere with his feelings, having him making subtle comments like “Sometimes we all need a little cry. Nothing wrong with that”.

Because of everything I’ve written in this post, I could say that the fandom is not wrong when they classify Gary as being soft. He is, indeed, a softie—the softest boy in the Villa, in my opinion. But he is not just that. He is also incredibly emotionally intelligent, as he learned how to overcome his mental disorder, how to communicate and accept his feelings and how to reach out to others and offer them help, amongst a billion of other things. We see him also being very mature for his age, with many pointing out that he seems older than he actually is. I can’t deny that most of his maturity probably comes from being raised by his nan and because he has gone through a lot in terms of accepting himself and growing as a person in general.

On a quick side note, I’ve noticed people with clearly poor understanding on mental health that have tried to write him as a villain and end up usually turning him into an insecure, self-centered, egotistical character, labeling it as layering, when the reality is far from that. Vilifying insecurity, low self-esteem and fear of rejection/failure is not layering. Those are common flaws and issues that cause distraught in many people on a daily basis and, in my opinion, they should be approached with proper understanding, respect and reassurance.

Anyhow, it makes me so happy seeing much more Love Island fans recognizing the true good and soft nature of Gary’s personality as time passes, and even happier that a lot more started appreciating him because of his issues. His story represents, in my opinion, a story of recovery. There are few things better than seeing someone that used to struggle with how they felt about themselves, keeping their head up, accepting their flaws as their own and doing their best to keep getting better, and that’s what he represents at the end of Day 26.

I’ll be leaving down below some of the papers I used for my additional research, as well as some simple articles and videos about MD, if some of you would like to know more about it and spread awareness.

Let’s take this character’s story as an example to follow, as it indirectly encourages people to accept themselves and to share their mental illness stories once they feel ready to do so. I think that by supporting this type of characters we’re letting the writers know that we do like to read characters like this, with true layers, defects and with backgrounds that feel just real.

Finally, as some friend of mine said, let’s jump on the Gary tour bus and spread some love, positivity and appreciation for this amazing character*:･ﾟ✧

Links, articles and videos.

[Nature article], [The Guardian Article], [TED Talk], [TED Talk Q&A], [BDD 2015 Conference], [ABC Science Video], [ABC News Video], [Paper n°1], [Paper n°2], [Paper n°3], [Paper n°4], [Paper n°5], [Paper n°6].

#thanks for reading to the end #love island the game #litg #love island gary #litg gary #gary x mc #litg2 #mc x gary #love island the game season 2 #litgs2 #litg season 2 #i hope this wasn't too long #my stuff

111 notes · View notes

pidayforpi · 5 years ago

Text

Rigmor of Cyrodiil is a wasted golden opportunity

(I should probably only post this on reddit, where people will understand. But...I feel like posting this here as well. Probably no one will understand.)

TL;DR, I give this mod a 60/100.

This is a review of the Skyrim mod Rigmor of Cyrodiil. This is the first time I have written a review for a mod. I thought of whether I should do it (let alone post it online), but since Rigmor of Cyrodiil (let’s call it RoC, not Republic of China) has a special place in my heart, I will do it just for this mod.

———————————————————————————————

First off, disclaimer. I...

...haven’t played the prequel Rigmor of Bruma. I will probably play it, but not soon because I need a rest.

...also haven’t played the sequel “Dragonchild”.

...don’t really care about the “lore” aspect. Skyrim is the only Elder Scrolls game I have played, so I can’t say I am familiar with the ES lore myself.

...also don’t really care about time-sensitivity. I am talking about modern slangs used in the mod. It just doesn’t bother me.

...don’t care about character stereotypes. It’s not easy to think of unique character settings all of the time. Cliché and a bit boring they may be, character tropes are hard to be avoided.

...don’t care about my character being forced to be the character the mod intents for me to be. I play a male/khajiit/friend-type character in my playthrough. I also haven’t touched the Skyrim main quest, so I am technically not a Dragonborn. I know many people get bothered by the limited choices/forced role-play aspect of the mod. But in my opinion, my character is just a character I lend to the mod. The mod is the story. The mod author is the storyteller. I don’t and don’t need to have any say about my character. I am just here to listen to the story.

———————————————————————————————

Overview (spoilers, of course)

RoC, as I see it, is a romance/politics/adventure genre of story. A quick description of the story:

The first part of the story revolves around Rigmor being forced to sign a legal document due to her noble status of her hometown Bruma. Being a free spirit, Rigmor just wants to sign the document, leave, and continue her carefree adventure with her boyfriend Bobby.

However, when she is in the capital, she is framed to be a traitor, as she is supposed to be the legal queen of the empire due to her family history. Thus, the current “bandit king” (who took the throne by force) and the queen Morag want to get rid of Rigmor to protect their own power.

You (the MC) has to rescue Rigmor from exile, and during the journey on Roscrea (?), you both learn that Morag is behind all of this conspiracy, including bribing Akaviri vampires and Tsaesci samurai with human flesh, and the reason behind her immortality is that she (1) is a vampire -> (2) is Molag Bal (I think?) -> (3) is relying on a soul gem powered by the souls of children.

Back home in Bruma (with the help of a pirate old friend and his crew), Bobby (who betrays Rigmor) and his men are attacking Bruma along with the central imperial government. You fight back, and capture Bobby.

After briefly settling the attacks on Bruma, you start your attack on Morag. To destroy her, you travel through the mountains to a ruins, along with a girl with the power to destroy the soul gem with her arrow. You raid the ruins, destroy Morag (Molag Bal), and go back to the base camp.

You suddenly fall into a near-death situation due to Morag’s curse, but is later saved by the goddess Alessia. When you wake up, war has already begun between Bruma and the imperial government. You, Rigmor and the protectors of Bruma launch a counterattack, successfully driving the imperial soldiers away and winning the war.

At the ending, you and Rigmor march into the imperial palace once again (the place where Rigmor sign the document), and kill the illegal bandit king (who fakes an armistice to assassinate you and Rigmor). You and Rigmor thus become the king and queen of Cyrodiil, when Rigmor announces she is pregnant with the next Dragonborn. The story ends.

———————————————————————————————

Obviously this is a very brief run-through of the plot of RoC. I omit many small encounters both intentionally and unintentionally, because that would be a lot (examples include...

-Rigmor falling sick on Roscrea

-The battle between locals of Roscrea and Akaviri

-The battle between the pirate crew and Akaviri

-The chancellor asking for peace between Bruma and the capital

-A mysterious old priest

-A wood elf general offering help to Rigmor, who hates elves due to her father being murdered by elves (I think it has something to do with Rigmor of Bruma the prequel?)

There are probably a lot more of these things in RoC, but I just can’t remember, nor will I list them all out.)

At first, RoC gives me a very good first impression.

Actually, in general, RoC is pretty enjoyable in its first quarter (not first half, mind you). That is, the first 2-3 hours of gameplay. I will say what I like about RoC in the next section, where I list what I like and don’t like in RoC.

I first started the mod last year in April. However, I stopped at the ship ride sequence back to Bruma due to study. I wanted to marathon the mod, but it was taking up too much time.

After finishing my public exam, I started the mod again (from the beginning) this year in July. I think it took me...2 weeks to complete it (to be fair, I have other things to do).

Even after finishing it, RoC still is a gem in my eye. Unlike any other Skyrim (story) mod I have played, RoC caught my eye. I have never been hyped by a mod. It’s just a shame how it progressed towards the end. It started with a pretty good image, but kept going downhill as I played it.

———————————————————————————————

Things I like about RoC

1.Thing I like the most about RoC: Beautiful.

And I mean that on multiple layers (so that probably concludes most of the things I like about RoC).

Assets: The world of Cyrodiil is beautiful. I use no ENB, only a weathers mod (that has some reshade I think), and it’s still beautiful. I took a lot of screenshots throughout my gameplay, because the scenery is just so wonderful. Be it the wilderness on the Table Mountain, or the bustling Imperial City...It’s crazy. The only mod (I have played) that beats RoC in terms of aesthetics is Malsea.

(Yes I know (some of) the assets are borrowed from Beyond Skyrim. But that doesn’t stop them from being beautiful.)

Screenplay: The scenes of RoC are beautiful. This is actually what caught my attention when I first played RoC. The signature scenes are overlooking Cyrodiil with Rigmor on top of a tree, and Rigmor devastated with her fate in front of her childhood “secret base”. These two scenes are crazy powerful. I have never seen such powerful, sentimental scenes in a video game, let alone a Skyrim mod. Even without playing RoB, I could feel the emotions: Only because she’s born to a noble family, Rigmor has to endure all of those matters. Later, it’s even found out that not only is she chosen by mortals, but she is also chosen by the gods. Sometimes, perhaps, Rigmor may even prefer the wandering, dangerous life in Skyrim to the boring, controlled life in Bruma.

Also beautiful are some of the dialogues written. Example is when the Chancellor Blackwell describes Rigmor being tortured when she’s arrested. When her hair is cut, when her clothes are torn...I could picture the whole scene and feel the sadness of Rigmor.

Characters: Rigmor is beautiful. No, I don’t mean her physical appearance. Rigmor actually reminds me of Princess Garnet from FF9 (you can call me a Zidane): A princess yearning for freedom but caught in a destined tragedy. On the other hand, her personality makes me think of Tifa Lockhart from FF7: A seemingly strong, yet emotional young woman. That’s why I think RoC is a tragedy and its ending is a sad one. Rigmor just wants freedom, but throughout the story she’s pushed around by others (arrested, forced to save the country, bare a child, only due to her family history and fate). In the end, she’s trapped in an even harsher cage: As the queen of Cyrodiil, how can she possibly run away? The story of RoC destroys the life of Rigmor, forcing her to accept the fate bestowed upon her. Her life is a tragedy, a beautiful tragedy.

Also brilliant is the voice-acting. Most of the main characters are professionally voiced. Rigmor, Bobby and Morag Sethius (?) are my favourite. I don’t find many mods that are voiced, let alone professionally voiced.

Story: The story (to a certain extent) is beautiful. RoC is a story-oriented mod and we all know it. The story is extremely detailed. Almost all side characters have character development to a certain extent. There are many dialogue scenes for character developments, such as Rigmor and you talking about the past, as a comparison to the sad present life you are experiencing now. Side characters have backstories, such as the orc warrior and her partner from the Burma Fighters’ Guild. Old, recurring characters have (I assume from RoB?) stories that detailed why they are in the position they are in now (such as a character becoming a Jarl in Skyrim). That fills up many plot holes, to the point of developing the holes to hills.

(Mind you, detail is also a problem in itself. I will discuss it later.)

The story is rather unique and not very lore-heavy (in its first quarter, at least). A pet peeve of mine when finding Skyrim story mods is the massive amount of lore in these mods. Stories that revolve around Dwermer, Daedra (etc.) immediately put a slightly bad taste in my mouth. In my opinion, lores are unnecessary, complicated and boring. I don’t care about a non-lore-friendly story. I just want a story that connects to me in a personal level, talking about issues that we, as real-life modern human beings, can relate to.

That’s why RoC’s story gave me a breath of fresh air when I first played it. Rigmor’s story is extremely relatable at first: Being forced to do something you have been running away from. You strongly want to continue running away, but you know the problem will come back to bite you, or others will suffer the consequences for you. Should you run? Or face it? I think many of us have, unfortunately, experienced this dilemma in real life.

Relatability is a very important aspect in storytelling. You have to let the readers relate to the main character on a personal level, so that readers can feel the emotions themselves. We don’t face celestial invasions or supernatural disasters in our everyday lives, so Skyrim lore-friendly story mods are more often than not non-relatable.

That’s what makes Rigmor’s story stand out (initially, I will talk about how the story goes on later).

2.Effort.

No matter you like the mod or not, you have to admit a lot of effort is put into the mod. A lot. RoC is very long, almost like an official DLC, or even a brand new video game. We have a huge map. We have many locations. We have many cutscenes. We have voiced characters. We have composed music. The programming alone is crazy effort. We have to give applause to the team making RoC (and RoB). They really put a lot of time and sweat into making a free Skyrim story mod.

Also give a big hand to the voice actress of Rigmor. She has voiced thousands of lines for one character. And the writers, as well. Millions of lines written in books, notes, dialogues.

All these efforts are not lost on me.

I can never make a Skyrim mod myself, so I admire all modders in the community. For team Rigmor, you surely deserve a seat as one of the most important modders of Skyrim.

———————————————————————————————

Things I don’t like about RoC

1.Thing I don’t like the most about RoC: Long. Too long.

The problem is not the mod duration. The problem stems from the awkward pacing and tension.

I would like to make a comparison between two video games to demonstrate this problem: Okami and Persona 5. For people who have played these two games, you may understand my opinion better. I assume most have not, so I will not spoil...much.

(ok there will be spoilers i will keep it as small as possible)

(you can skip this section if you just want to see the mod look for the “Back to RoC...” subtitle)

(also for people who have played and loved okami please don’t kill me i know a lot of people love that game)

(also i’m aware that is a kid’s game, but i’m judging it in terms of story pacing)

———————————————————————————————

Both games are of similar length, mind you. I used a year to complete Persona 5 (with school and study, of course), but I lose count of how long I used to finish Okami (I finished it this May).

This is because Okami was...sadly, getting boring. And this is due to its unbalanced pacing.

Games, or long stories in general, should have an ascending pacing and atmosphere up until the climax. The actions should get faster and faster. The missions should get more and more important. Little exception.

For Okami, I feel like the story was loosely planned. As if the story was being forced to extend when the developers realised the story was not long enough.

From the start, it is stated that Orochi is the main menace of the world. Then you would assume Orochi to be the final boss, or at least the second final boss, right?

The part up to Orochi is great. You save a local village, another village, and proceed to the capital of Japan. Neat.

Then the showdown comes down between you and Orochi. The battle is epic. Very dramatic (though a bit stupid for comic relief). I thought the game finale was at hand, given the fast pacing and the tense atmosphere.

But no, there are still at least 3 bosses until the final boss.

Then what is the tension all about?

The next boss (Kyuubi/Ninetails) also has a pretty good buildup. It leads to the deaths of two rather major characters, and you have to destroy it in its lair. Awesome.

But it’s still not the second final boss.

I stopped after the attack on Kyuubi, because it’s getting too long and boring. I felt like the story was never ending, and my patience was running dry. You kept giving me high tension, only for it to be a fraud. Similar to how the goal of the marathon keeps shifting backwards.

When you give me something that wows me, I will beg for more wows, stronger wows, until the finale.

It’s like competition. You try a 10km marathon, you then want to try another, and the next one will be a 15km.

You try a 15km marathon, you then want to try another, and the next one will be a 25km.

You win your friends in a chess game, you want to win the community.

You win the community, you want to win the country.

You win the country, you want to win the world.

Stories and games are like this too. If you give me cheap fast-food steak after I have tried a prime angus beef steak, I feel nothing. If you continue to do so, I will feel bored. Until you give me something better (or, at least equal).

That’s also why I think the ending of Okami is rather...simple. The tension before is too high, that the ending feels like it was rushed. There isn’t any buildup between the second final boss and the final boss. I beat both bosses in one day. You just...go.

I believe Persona 5 is no shorter in length than Okami. Then what made me so intrigued in Persona 5 that I followed it nonstop for a year? Pacing and atmosphere done right.

The first boss (basically a tutorial one) is a school teacher. Okay.

The second boss is a nation-famous artist. Great.

The third boss is a crime lord/gangster boss. Awesome.

The fourth boss is your future teammate. Cool.

The fifth boss is a world-famous entrepreneur. Magnificent.

Just from the status, do you see an ascending importance from each boss to each boss? From a nobody to someone everyone knows. You are evolving from a local hero to a world hero.

Although the fourth (and sixth) boss is a nobody again, they are linked to you personally. If you don’t do something, you will be in trouble. You face direct danger.

The seventh boss is the second final boss. They are the person the game hypes to be close to the final boss (similar to Orochi in Okami), and right after beating them, the final boss is at hand.

Not to mention the increasing linkage and pacing between the bosses.

Linkage-wise, in Okami, every boss is a separate monster. No linkage otherwise.

In Persona 5, the first boss has nothing to do with the main plot other than facilitating your awakening and forming your cool team (not really a spoiler the trailer shows it).

The second boss and third boss also have little to no importance to the main plot other than making you a greater hero (this is, however, a part of the main plot).

The fourth boss’ mother investigated the power you are using to beat bosses, and died because of her investigation.

The fifth and sixth boss are parts of the conspiracy of the seventh boss. And the seventh boss is your destined arch-enemy as shown by the game.

The final boss is the reason behind every boss you have beaten.

The linkage grows stronger and stronger from each boss to each boss, making you want to continue playing to find out the mastermind behind.

The pacing does a good thing to keep you focused as well. From first to fifth bosses, there are celebrations and fillers between the bosses. But from the sixth to final, no chit-chat whatsoever. One boss, onto the next. The breaks from first to fifth bosses are also really just breaks. Short and simple. One event per intermission. These breaks also give clues to future events, such as you seeing your future waifu teammate while watching fireworks after the third boss.

———————————————————————————————

Back to RoC...

Now you know the importance of pacing and tension, let’s discuss about RoC as a case study.

I believe (from many reviews online) that the unbalanced pacing is the reason why many players do not enjoy RoC. The weird pacing hurts the enjoyment of RoC a lot (I will say a -25 point goes to that).

There are many occasions where the tension is broken and the pacing halts to a crawl, mostly using dialogues. For example, the excessive use of military strategic conferences. These conferences are boring, whenever they are placed. When you put these conferences in between battles, it feels weird and extra boring. I know it is realistic for conferences to be held to discuss what to do next, but these conferences are just too long.

Times I think RoC has had weird pacing and tension (in terms of chronological order, of course including but not limited to):

-The escape on Roscrea. There are many times you both take a breather and chat. I get that it is used for the character development of Rigmor, but that’s just too much.

-Rigmor falling sick. This whole section feels unnecessary. I get they want to include Alessia (the witch-doctor of Rigmor) as part of a foreshadowing, but with you needing to gather ingredients for the Alessia and listening to her (fake?) backstory, it takes up a lot of time.

-Sabotaging the supply of Akaviri vampires and saving human slaves (on the way home to Bruma on the pirate ship). I get that they want to include that in a realistic, strategic sense, as well as show the kindness of Rigmor to save the innocent, but again, it’s not really that important, yet takes you a lot of time.

-Military conference back at Bruma, and the meeting with Chancellor Blackwell. Bruma is under attack. The tension is high. I recommend just get to the fighting part. More dialogues hurt the pacing in such a dire situation.

-Rigmor (and Blackwell) meeting with an imprisoned Bobby. I get that is for Rigmor to officially cut ties with Bobby, but in times of war, doing that slows down the pacing.

-During the expedition (to destroy Morag Sethius), too many breaks.

-After destroying Morag Sethius, any sequential military meetings (or human problems, except wars) seem boring. You just slain a Daedra. There’s nothing more exciting than that.

-Character developments for the Fighters’ Guild side characters right before the finale...? (I don’t want to be mean but I hate that)

These unnecessary (or unnecessarily long) interactions before or in a high tension situation harm the story very much. I don’t feel anything for these interactions. If you give me more of these, I will only feel bored. Until you give me something that wows me.

I think one of the general problems with the pacing of RoC is that a very high tension event is placed in the first half of the story. I am talking about the rescue of Rigmor. Rigmor is in a life-and-death situation, either she will be killed by men or demons. Saving Rigmor, bringing her home is (at least, to me) very important and put me on the edge of the seat. Therefore, after that, I assume the story will pick up its pace, and the ending is coming soon. But that is not the case. There are still 10+ hours of playthrough, not to mention the story slowing down multiple times with the aforementioned “breaks”.

I will feel bored, until you give me immense danger again like you did with the rescue of Rigmor. Putting the Rigmor rescue arc in the near beginning forces you to pick up the pace and end the story quickly.

Another problem with the awkward pacing is a logical one. A significant example is the expedition arc. I don’t want to be mean, but aren’t you saving the world? Why are you always taking a rest? Even have time for Rigmor to take a bath? Another example is right before the finale. You have the empire at your mercy. Why do you still have time to ask a side character about her backstory? Don’t you want to get the war done? Aren’t you afraid the empire will launch a counterattack?

2.The Ending.

The problem is not that the ending is a sad one. The problem is of atmosphere and logic.

Although, having a sad ending will undoubtedly decrease enjoyability. After all, who doesn’t like a feel-good ending? With the already low enjoyability of RoC, having a sad ending surely add salt to the wound.

Atmosphere-wise, unless you really investigate the story, the ending doesn’t seem like a sad one. You don’t see Rigmor devastated with being forced to be the queen. The ending is progressed quickly without much buildup. The credit scene uses a...very epic remix of the Dragonborn theme. It looks...awkward. Similar to if Thanos snapped half of your favourite superheroes to oblivion, they and the other half are emotionless. No tears. No anger. No awesome, encouraging last words.

Logic-wise, I think neither you nor Rigmor would accept the ending. Both you (through dialogue choices) and Rigmor have always showed immense disgust with fate forcing them to do what they don’t want to. There are many occasions where both of you are like “screw the rules and prophecies”, even right before the finale. Then why would you two suddenly become so submissive and accept fate? You become the empire, while Rigmor becomes the queen and bears the Dragonchild.

You can say you both “mature” (even though I personally don’t think accepting whatever life puts onto you is being “mature”), but this is not shown. Rigmor and you, up to the ending, still refuse to accept fate. But the moment you enter the palace, you both suddenly mature and accept the thrones. This transition feels extremely sudden and weird.

3.Technical Problems

I seldom find technical problems the bane of my enjoyment. But when the problems are game-breaking, that is a problem (a famous example being Sonic ‘06).

Bugs: There are quite a number of bugs in RoC, either guaranteed or easily encountered. A significant example of guaranteed bugs is the Mara shrine scene. Again, I don’t want to be rude, but this is the first time a (serious mod, not joke) mod requires me to use console command to solve a bug. Immersion-breaking is not the problem. The problem is that if I did not know how to solve it, I couldn’t continue. I didn’t even know the command “TIM” (Toggle Immortal Mode) before I looked up on how to solve the Mara shrine bug (“TGM” doesn’t work for that situation).

Easily-encountered bugs are a lot in RoC. These bugs can break your quest, making you unable to continue your story. Examples include:

-Running from the trolls and giants on Roscrea. I think the game wants you to guide them through thin ice, so that the monsters will fall. But it just didn’t work for me. In the end I had to manually kill all the monsters (because Rigmor kept fighting/being attacked by the monsters).

-The meeting with Mr Bear. Because the meeting is placed right after a battle scene, Mr Bear will often be still in its “battle mode”, making you unable to interact with it. Worse if you (accidentally) past through the cave before the cutscene between Rigmor and Mr Bear (due to the lack of directions). I encountered this bug where Rigmor was on the other side of the mountain, yet the cutscene with Mr Bear still hadn’t finished. I had to use two third-party mods to solve this bug (by literally carrying Rigmor over the mountain).

-The battles on the sea. Did the mod team test-run the mod, or invite beta testers to test-run the mod before releasing? Given the narrow battle area and large amount of enemies, people going overboard (falling off the ship into the sea) is extremely easy. Worse when Rigmor or any quest characters have fallen overboard. I had to, again, use console command (“kill”) and a third-party mod (unlimited jumping) to kill every enemy that went overboard and get back onto the ship.

-Rigmor dying. I’m serious, this is possible. There should be an option where you can toggle her essentiality (?), but the option had to be unlocked through console command (at least for me). “Resurrect” console command will break Rigmor. A quest-given shout that should be used to resurrect Rigmor doesn’t work. Why don’t we just make Rigmor essential in the first place?

-Technically not a bug, but the game is sometimes too clueless for you. I’m okay with handholding, but not with no handholding at all. Lack of quest markers, vague directions, no signs that a cutscene is continuing...All these sometimes make me clueless as to what I should do. And it hurts the gameplay enjoyment. The large amount of flags (conditions you need to fulfil before the quest can continue) also lead to a lot of bugs, as you can easily miss those flags (such as talking to a certain person).

My recommendation for anyone who wants to try the mod is to save frequently. Not quicksave. Save. Especially before any battle scenes.

Difficulty: The mod is just too difficult. I play on Adept (default difficulty) because I want to experience the difficulty mod authors intend for you to have, but even that is too difficult for me.

Whenever there is a battle, it is almost always a large-scale one. Having a ton of enemies rushing at you makes surviving extremely difficult, let alone eliminating all enemies. I had to use a third-party (rather) OP spell to eliminate the enemies, or I would have to use whosyourdaddy God Mode. Unless you have a powerful character, or you play at a lower difficulty, legit combat is near impossible. Again, did the team test-run the mod at least once? Or is the mod supposed to be played at a lower difficult/with a very strong character?

———————————————————————————————

That’s all I have to say about Rigmor of Cyrodiil. It will always have a special place in my Skyrim gaming experience. The concept is great and unique, but the problems in execution just hurt the overall enjoyment of the mod. I will not advise against playing the mod. If you have time, please experience it for yourself, if story-oriented mod is your cup of tea.

This is the first non-fiction passage/review I have written (well, outside of school and exams). Thank you for reading!

(16-7-2020 ~ 17-7-2020)

#i still dont know why I post it here #skyrim #rigmor of cyrodiil #skyrim mod #skyrim mod review #other stuff #i dont know what else i can put here #im sorry

18 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 5 years ago

Note

I know you say that the Adam stuff in v3 was a good example of visual storytelling in rwby, do you think there is anything else, in your opinion

Yes! Let’s praise poor RWBY for once lol

I’m sure there’s a lot that I could choose from but that would require me combing back through old content to jog those memories. So let’s stick to Volume 7. Overall, I quite enjoyed the JNOR vs. Neo fight. There are plot convenience issues (the stupidity of having the group carry the relic around instead of putting it in the vault) and choreography issues (I’ve heard a number of complaints about the slow-mo and how Jaune and Oscar don’t integrate well with Ren and Nora), but the fight does a good job of conveying a lot of information visually. It’s one of the few moments in the volume where I felt like RT was successfully a) using the medium to its advantage and b) achieving more than one thing in a single scene.

Warning: Here be lots of screenshots.

First, I want to acknowledge that lately RT has been demonstrating a talent for horror-esque writing. RWBY obviously isn’t in the horror genre, but via the Apathy we saw that RT can crank up the creep factor when they choose to. This scene does something similar (though admittedly much more subtly) and it starts with the opening shot of the destroyed guards.

It’s a simple thing, but note how dark the room is, especially compared to the hallway outside. This is supposed to be a terrifying moment. The team has just arrived looking for Oscar and have instead found a disaster zone. There are scorch marks on the walls. The guards aren’t just lying powered down, they’ve been hacked to pieces. Though AIs without aura or souls, they’re designed to look like people and at first glance it definitely seems like we’ve got three bodies decorating the bedroom. Nora’s panicked cries tell us how bad the situation is, but we get that loud and clear from these visuals first. Also note how, despite being lighter, the hallway is dominated by a very deep red. I’d actually say to a certain extent this is a mistake - the pink/reds of the environment make it easy for Neo and Nora, with their predominantly pink costumes, to blend in too well during the fight - but in regards to color associations we get some nice shots throughout that convey danger and high emotions.

When “Oscar” comes on the scene we know, instantaneously, that it’s not Oscar. Not just because we as the audience know that Neo is off doing something nefarious, but because via the language of film/television that’s not how you re-introduce an established character. You don’t hide their face like that unless you’re about to reveal something - like the fact that that’s not really them. This is also the first of a number of medium closeups on the relic, putting emphasis on it first because someone currently holds it who should not have it, and then as a means of reminding the viewer what this fight is about.

Via some great attention to detail, we see again the clear wrongness about this “Oscar.” That’s not how Oscar stands. That’s not how Oscar smiles. More than just animating him differently, this shot pulls from those subtle horror tropes. He has the dead-eyed look of a doll or a supernatural being that immediately makes the viewer (if not Nora) go, “Wait...” It helps that Oscar is a short boy with dark hair. Put him in different clothes and he could play any number of possessed kids.

With Neo’s deception revealed, we get what the fandom knows is not good visual storytelling. AKA, Oscar charging down the whole length of the hallway while Neo just stands there and lets herself get hit. I don’t need to re-hash how stupid that was. What I like a lot more is the subtleties in how she communicates given that, obviously, Neo can’t rely on any dialogue. Coming out of the hit she immediately has her umbrella leveled at the group and pulls out the blade to communicate, “Yes. I’m taking you on.” The neat choice though is that she brings the umbrella down to do it. She takes her weapon off the group, if only for a moment. Jaune has just gotten done insisting that she should give up because it’s four to one. The blade says, “I’m taking you on” but lowering her umbrella likewise says, “I’m so confident about taking you on I’ll even make myself vulnerable for a second.”

Which retroactively makes her getting hit like that even stupider but it’s fine we’re moving on.

During this time we also get a lot of insight into Oscar. Check out how utterly bedraggled he is, showing us how tough the initial fight with Neo was and how lucky he is to have escaped. He clutches the relic close to his chest and stares, scared, at the rest of the team. Oscar hasn’t reached a point yet where he instinctively draws his weapon and prepares to defend himself (indeed, he didn’t even have his weapon out during that initial encounter. That’s one hell of a rookie mistake). He’s still a terrified kid who hopes he won’t have to fight at all, literally hiding behind more powerful friends. This is all great characterization, the only problem is consistency. Nothing about Oscar has been consistent. One moment he’s holding his own against Lionheart and insisting he fight Hazel. The next he’s getting his ass kicked by Neo and cowering at the prospect of more. One moment he’s positively done in by these fights, horrified, scared, unsure of himself. The next he’s confronting the general of a kingdom with all the wisdom of Ozpin. This guy:

and this guy:

Exist about fifteen minutes apart. Because though RWBY is great at visual storytelling within each scene, they don’t keep it consistent from one scene to the next. Which is why Oscar is (accurately, imo) animated as an inexperienced kid in Scene #1 and then inexplicably becomes a wise old mentor in Scene #2. Not because anything occurred between Scene #1 and Scene #2 to create that change (let alone such an extreme change), but only because the show suddenly wanted Ironwood to look like an unhinged character. How do you achieve that? Not by having the guy he’s talking to act as winded, wild, and emotional as him, but by having Oscar speak calmly, rationally, softly, sounding oh-so-persuasive so you don’t listen to the actual words he says and how nonsensical they are (you’re as bad as Salem). Instead, you pay attention only to the visuals (Ironwood looks crazier than Oscar so he must be wrong). Ironwood is a great example of how RT sometimes tries to get visual storytelling to outweigh basic logic/what’s been said on screen.

Anyway, I’m getting off track. The fight begins and I do still love how Oscar is depicted here, even if it doesn’t align with what we get later. The moment that umbrella and cane cross was great because who doesn’t love visual symmetry? Oscar grabbing Neo is wonderfully in character because he’s barely trained! He’s a kid! He’s flying by the seat of his pants and going with whatever vaguely successful act pops into his head. The absurdity of, “I’m just going to grab her” is tempered by Oscar’s furiously determined expression as well as Neo’s brief look of shock. It works up until they realize what Oscar grabbed was just a copy.

I mentioned early that JNOR often doesn’t work well as a team, unless it’s specifically in the context of Jaune giving orders and the others executing them. Oscar and his lack of integration is obviously exempt from this, being the newbie both to fighting and this particular team’s dynamics, but Ren, Nora, and Jaune have no excuse. The first half of this fight is a good example of what I mean. We see Nora attack. She’s tossed aside. Then Ren attacks. He’s slammed into the wall. Oscar attacks (umbrella vs. cane) and it’s only at the last second that Jaune arrives with his shield to stave off a blow that would fell him too. Why is everyone taking turns here? They know none of them can beat Neo one-on-one and Jaune just said that their victory lies in it being four-to-one. So why separate out all the attacks? Arguably we can read this as a major flaw of JNOR’s and visual setup for something they’ll have to overcome later. In reality though I highly doubt this was deliberate on RT’s part, leaving this as bad visual storytelling (in that it makes the characters look stupid) as opposed to good visual storytelling (JNOR will realize this flaw and work to correct it).

After Neo disappears we get a chase through the hallway that does a great job of showing us precisely how weaker Oscar is compared to his teammates. He doesn’t have their stamina, breathing heavily and falling further and further behind. At one point (screenshot #2) he arrives just in time to find the team turning back in the direction he’s just come, showing not only how he can’t physically keep up, but also his place in this team/the group. He’s literally not with them. Anyone who has followed my blog knows my thoughts on how the group has treated Oscar and if (again) I were inclined to think that RT was aware of that treatment and working to integrate it into the show with the intent to resolve it, this would be another great detail. As it is, I think Oscar as a character is just continually going to get the short end of the stick. In particular, the crane shot shows us exactly how far behind Oscar is. The others charge ahead without him, not caring where he is or if he can keep up. Which leads to this.

Oscar rounds another corner and they’re gone. Nowhere to be seen. If anyone had the thought, “He’s not that far behind. It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be,” Ren, Nora, and Jaune were clearly moving fast enough to round another corner and leave Oscar stranded. Here those subtle horror elements come back into play, particularly the maze-like design of the corridors. The only unique marker we get is the info board, otherwise it’s all identical hallways, housing a killer, with Oscar now left alone in it. The long shot makes him look small and emphasizes his isolation.

Then he’s attacked and it’s suitably scary. The hand over his mouth. The dark room again. We only get the briefest glimpse of Neo-as-Nora before she attacks, but that one second is another excellent moment of animation. Nora has never sauntered away like that. Even the quickest look in an action-driven scene is enough for the viewer to go, “Nope. Not Nora.”

The attack itself is the one moment where I think the slow-mo serves a good purpose. We might know (via that quick shot, how characters act (Nora is unlikely to pull Oscar aside like that) and expectations for how a story functions) that that’s not Nora, but Oscar doesn’t know that. The slow-mo gives us - and him - the chance to focus on Neo’s eyes changing, that stomach-dropping moment of realization, and we see Oscar’s horrified shock in the close up on his own eyes. Though RWBY doesn’t always grapple with the emotional implications of every encounter, I think it’s worth noting that this can really mess someone up. Oscar thought he was safe with an ally and had the rug pulled out from under him. He will now forever have the image of Nora attacking him, regardless of the fact that it was really “Nora.” Jaune likewise exclaims in horrified surprise when “Nora” charges him down the hallway. The ability to turn into someone else is an advantage that Neo knows how to use to its fullest. Not just in regards to spying, but how to unsettle your opponent too.

Waiting for the day she turns into Pyrrha ngl.

We see that same work when she encounters Ren. Admittedly, I’m torn on this one. If only because I agree with others when they ask, “Doesn’t Ren spar with Nora all the time? He should be able to hit her.” The context of “Barely trained kid thought he was with a friend and then watches said ‘friend’ attack him” is not the same thing as, “Much more experienced fighter realizes the moment ‘Nora’ rounds the corner with an umbrella that that’s not her, has no doubt hit her numerous times in the past during training, yet for some reason can’t bring himself to hit her now.” It... doesn’t quite work. Here, I think RT does a good job of showing us Ren’s distress, it’s just that this is paired with a very bad job of establishing what that distress is and why it exists. This is what we needed to hear about during the party conversation. If Ren and Nora had actually talked rather than just kissing, we might have understood why Ren is suddenly incapacitated here when “Nora” looks at him sadly.

As said though, the emotion of the scene is great even if we don’t quite know where it came from. Neo’s pitiful look, Ren freezing in shock (check out the red there too), his dumbfounded expression as he just sits in the middle of a battle, and when we come back to him we see the tear tracks. Overall, this scene does a great job of incorporating lots of information beyond “Team JNOR is fighting Neo for the relic.” We just need to connect that information better to what came before this scene (Ren) and what comes after (Oscar).

Finally, Neo slams into the other guards and transforms again. I love this final shot of her, both for how she moves and the implications of the transformation itself. Meaning, Neo is a professional. She had a job and she did it. Once the relic was in her possession and she had an escape route, she took it. Neo doesn’t get distracted by taking revenge - these are some of the people we fought against when Roman died - or trying to take them out to please Cinder, or even just going after them because she’s Evil. Neo is focused, no unnecessary actions taken, and that, just as much as her semblance and skill, is what makes her dangerous.

#Anonymous #rwby #mymetas

19 notes · View notes

the-creeping-shadow · 5 years ago

Note

💎 💕 🎥 for half-life, soma, and outlast for the media hyperfixation ask game? :] (respectively or all of them, whichever you want XD)

Ask me about my fixations and I will be more than willing to write a whole essay on them! All of them it will be of course! ouo

💎 Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share? Half-Life: In the first Half-Life game, certain enemies like the bullsquid react to smell coming from other dead enemies or, in a specific instance, meat. There’s a whole video on this on Youtube if you are curious. It’s really cool how much thought was put into the A.I then.

SOMA: While I haven’t seen it for myself in my playthrough, the small robot at Delta, K8, will actually save you from dropping into the abyss once if you happen to fall off. K8 is baby! I also like how Simon talks to K8 as if to a dog :3

Outlast: There was originally supposed to be a brief dialogue between Trager and Langen before he kills him where Langen tries to rat out Miles to him. At least as far as I know. Some cut lines of Trager’s in this regard are featured in the few compilations that exist of his dialogue/monologue.

💕 Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them! Half-Life: The G-Man! Enigmatic, powerful, and wonderfully eerie. The fact that we know close to nothing about him, really, makes a huge part of his charm. At the same time, the games manage to effectively paint this image of a powerful entity that has its hands deep in everything that’s happening with the few, yet memorable scenes he appears in, including the G-Man sightings while you progress in the games. He appeals to my love of cosmic horror.

SOMA: My fav in this game has to be Terry Akers. I honestly like all characters in this game, but Akers definitely left an impression on me among the antagonists. The whole set-up at Site Delta to the encounter with him, the way his story can be uncovered by exploring the Site, is really well-done and successful at building up a certain dread the closer you get to Theta. His concept as someone having gone mad from isolation and now striving to lock everyone in a lucid dream state in his worship of the WAU is also fairly interesting. I like the (cut) voice lines; and he’s certainly also one of the most terrifying enemies you encounter in the game.

Outlast: You know the answer to this one XD Trager still remains my fav for his odd charisma coupled with being a very memorable, terrifying enemy in the game. He creates the impression that he is still somewhat lucid, but at the same time you can certainly see how the Engine has impacted him, mentally and physically. His story as an executive used as a test subject is still interesting as well.

🎥 Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation? Half-Life: All G-Man “cutscenes”, essentially. It’s especially interesting because Valve follows a strict rule of not including cutscenes in their games. All instances of character dialogue/interaction remain interactive, and it works. The G-Man scenes after HL1 differ from this somewhat in that your controls are being limited at best, and it serves to show just how much control he has over your character. Gameplay-wise, any “scene” where Alyx accompanies Gordon. I like her presence :3 In HL1, I also like the tentacles segment.

SOMA: Every time Catherine is in a position to talk to you. The game is good at making you feel lonely, given the situation/world, and hearing Cath is just soothing. Site Delta as a whole, Theta as well for reasons mentioned above. Site Theta also reveals some interesting plot points.

Outlast: The “controlled helplessness” of the Trager cutscene obviously. Trager’s dialogue remains memorable and nice to listen to. Even if it ends with Miles losing his fingers. :P

I could say a lot more, but this should be sufficient for now XD Thanks so much for the ask!

#media hyperfixation ask game #ask #reply #bandtrees #Outlast #Half Life #SOMA #K8 #UH8 #Richard Trager #Mr. Langen #G-Man #Terry Akers #long post #my brain is filled to the brim with thoughts on different things related to my main interests XD #just know what you are getting into when you ask me about them :D

8 notes · View notes

romantasyrabbittrail · 6 years ago

Text

Long, Barely Coherent Thoughts about The Rise of Skywalker

Since some of you wanted to hear my thoughts about “The Rise of Skywalker”, I’ve taken some time to write them up and provide context for why I responded the way I did.

A small preamble: I didn’t hate it. Hate is a strong word. And there were moments that I liked. Some that I even loved. However, the aggregate feeling for the movie overall was disappointment. For certain elements, it went beyond that into something genuinely painful and I don’t think that will make sense unless I also go into why I loved the previous two installments of this trilogy.

Also, if you loved this movie, I’m very happy for you. This is about my personal response to a piece of media and I make no judgements on those who enjoyed what you saw. I wish I could join you.

Finally, I will be talking about some sensitive subjects, including child loss and abuse. Please be aware of that before reading further.

Okay, so what was my overall impression of The Rise of Skywalker?

Soulless. Cowardly. Incoherent. Badly paced.

I spent large portions of the movie unable to get into the action because the pacing was so breakneck. There was no time to breathe. Consequently, there was never enough time to recover from one rush before another started. If everything is exciting, nothing is.

I think that this was a deliberate choice to cover up the lack of sense behind the exposition. Oscar Isaac’s Poe Dameron looks dead inside as he temporarily takes up the mantle of Basil Exposition to explain that somehow or other, Emperor Palpatine has returned and there’s a hard time limit on destroying his fleet.

This is a fine example of a running problem throughout the movie. Whereas both The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi used visual storytelling to move the story forward, things in TROS were explained through dialogue time and again. And the dialogue was incredibly clunky.

But back to the story. We are given a paper thin explanation of the Emperor’s return, and immediately are thrown into a fetch quest to find the Big Bad. I’m sure it will make an exciting video game adaptation.

The thing though is that the fetch quest makes no sense. One of the wayfinders is found in the first two minutes of the movie. Yes, it’s in the hands of the bad guys. But does the audience not remember that our heroine is bound to the villain? Why couldn’t she try to use that bond to get at the directions? Why does the Resistance not try to use that bond? Has she hidden from them her connection to Kylo Ren? Either she’s built up a wall of mistrust between her found family and herself by keeping the bond a secret, or she’s revealed all and no one thinks to try to use that bond to their advantage. It’s just conveniently overlooked.

Oh, a sidenote. Wayfinder. Why? There is an in-universe word for such objects already. It’s a holocron. Why not use holocron? We throw Star Wars-isms at the audience all the time. It would be an Easter Egg to the diehards while not bothering the general audience one iota.

Back to our fetch quest. We head to the desert planet of Pasaana. There’s a festival going on. A festival about family. Rey looks longingly at children and infants. A child gives her a fertility necklace. And then suddenly she’s connected by her bondmate through the force.

Now it’s no secret that the Rey and Kylo dynamic is one of the reasons I loved the first two movies in the trilogy. The actors have great chemistry. More importantly, the characters have interesting conflict. And yet that conflict seems off in this movie. TLJ left them complicated enemies. But they feel out of character. I don’t understand what each is trying to get out of their encounters. I have to do massive amounts of work to understand their actions and the dialogue doesn’t help. Because it doesn’t ring true.

Setting such details aside, Kylo rips off the necklace in a moment worthy of the Phantom of the Opera and for once it’s an action that makes sense, having both the subtext of obsessive love and jealousy, and the text of offering a clue for analysis to Rey’s location. Bravo. The writers did something right.

Meanwhile, we get a clunky reintroduction of Lando Calrissian. Has he been stuck on this desert for over 7 years? Longer? We just don’t know and he doesn’t tell us. Our heroes hitch a ride and then we get a fun speeder chase.

Okay, a couple more questions. There’s some good stuff here. The omnipresence of the First Order helps convey how thorough their control is. But why doesn’t Rey hotwire the speeder? It was established two movies ago that she’s a good mechanic. And on Jakku that kind of skill makes sense. Why hand that off to Poe? And why this Trio stuff. It’s fanon. We have just been assuming that Finn’s best friends would form the new Han, Luke, and Leia. Because reasons. None of them textual. It was a failure of TFA to not establish this dynamic if this was an essential element of Star Wars that had to be there from the start.

Which gets to the heart the problem in fandom which is that Star Wars is different for every fan. What is essential to the series is subjective. For me, Star Wars is light sabers, hyperspace, the Force, epic battles, strange world with one biome only per world. So I’ve never felt like something was missing. But if an essential element was a very particular character dynamic (like a good guy Trio), then I can see why some fans felt let down. As if all the pieces were there but never got put together.

Back to Pasaana. We have a brief descent into the underworld in which Rey has a moment of true Jedi compassion and is rewarded when her compassion for the monster leads to an exit from said underworld. Nice. Mythically coherent. And hey, we also get one of the MacGuffins we’ve been searching for, so, bonus.

Now we get the arrival of Kylo and his backup band. What was the point of these dudes? I mean, they look cool and I can’t wait to edit videos of them to classic NKOTB. But narratively, why are they there? Why did Kylo reforge the mask? Why all these questions in the third act when we should be in the process of tying up loose ends.

Rey, in a moment reminiscent of bull leaping from Crete, goes out to stall them? I guess? And then ends up in a battle of wills with Kylo that leads to her inadvertent use of Force Lightning.

Okay, another side trip. Are they trying to make out that Dark Side Powers are genetic? Because that’s all I can figure. Really, it’s kind of gross because it suggests that darkness isn’t a human trait that we all carry and must confront, but rather that Rey’s specific problem is a dark legacy. Which, that’s Kylo’s story. He’s the one grappling with the legacy of Vader and how that led his family to fear his darkness rather than aid him in confronting it.

Anyway, we have Rey briefly thinking she’s killed Chewie and that sets our heroes off to our next quest location and another set of problems: Why did we make the Latino man a drug runner and car thief? No, this isn’t just putting an unneeded real world spin on the universe. This is about narrative consistency. Because in a bid to make Poe Dameron an ersatz Han Solo, they broke his actual in-universe back story that had been established in comics and novels. That Poe Dameron was a pilot in the New Republic Navy, the child of war heroes Kes Dameron and Shara Bey. He grew up on Yavin IV. When did he have time to be a smuggler? He’s only a few years older that Ben Solo.

See Lucasfilm has a Story Group that is supposed to help keep narrative consistency between the various media released. And I can’t help shake the feeling that the Story Group was ignored or stonewalled. To please who? The fans? Which fans? Because I would be under the impression that the fans who read the novels and the comics, who dig the trivia aspects of the universe, would be the first to desire the universe to remain coherent.

The Kijimi stuff is fun. Babu Frik is adorable. C3PO is touching. There’s good moments. There really are.

We now go to the infiltration of the Star Destroyer (Does it have a name? Nerds, help me out here. Usually I know this sort of thing.) Again, good moments. I like the implication that Rey’s Force Powers disturb Poe, but it’s never brought up again. One of dozens of Chekhov’s guns left unfired. This is incredibly sloppy in the plotting. Hux is the mole!?! Fun. Yet, again, wasted. And out of character, but I’m sure that’s not going to bother the general audience. Rey gets caught sneaking around in Kylo’s bedroom? Priceless, and some good imagery (smashing the altar to Vader) combined with incredibly clunky dialogue and some more serious questions that never get answered.

The whole time Kylo thought Vader was talking to him it was Palpatine? Why the hell does he still have that mask on a pedestal? He just couldn’t bear to get rid of a collectible? He hadn’t had time to konmari yet? And just what does smashing the pedestal symbolize? Is this the start of Kylo breaking free? We’ll probably never know.

Rey escapes on the Falcon. After getting the worst character reveal in the Saga. I’m sorry. Rey Palapatine is just dumb. I liked that she was a nobody. It allowed her to be the Forces solution to the manipulation and abuse heaped upon the Skywalkers. She was brought into the story and bound to the last scion of House Skywalker as a corrective. She wasn’t overpowered. (No really. She executed a few very basic Jedi skills in the first two movies, none of them exceptional.) And her skill level makes sense the moment you understand that she is bound to Ben Solo. She is literally downloading his training. She can do what he can do. Even her fighting style mirrors his. Fun fact: if you watch the scene in The Last Jedi where she’s practicing sword forms on Ach-to, and compare them to Kylo in his duel with Luke, they’re identical. To a move. Rey is powerful because the Force chooses its vessels. No one was asking who Mace Windu’s parents were. Or Ki-Adi Mundi’s. But Rey is skilled because a very clear in universe device means she has access to Ben Solo’s mind and that included every skill he ever learned.

Alrighty, so now our team is on to the next step in the quest, the ocean moon of Kef Bir, one of the many moons in the Endor system. (No, it’s not the Forest or Sanctuary Moon with the Ewoks.) We meet Jannah, another wasted character. She is pretty and could have been cool. But she exists for us to realize that Finn is probably Force Sensitive and that he broke conditioning not due to innate morality but because he’s not a Muggle.

Which brings me to my gripe with how Finn’s character was treated. He spent the whole movie running around shouting Rey. That’s it. That’s his arc. I don’t mind that he can feel the Force. But I feel like his development was regressed. He had a clear character arc in the first two movies. From a man running away from responsibility to one willing to fight for a friend, to a man willing to commit to cause. This movie should have had him building on that, and perhaps like Moses returning to free the rest of the Stormtroopers who are canonically child soldiers brainwashed into fighting for the bad guys.

Back to the plot. Rey takes off for the Death Star, searches the haunted house and yet again has her moment in the cave, this time confronting a dark vision of herself. Dang that was cool. Would have liked to see more of that. Anyway, she confronts Kylo and he smashes the holocron. Emphasizing for us how pointless this fetch quest has been. Girl could have hopped a ride in his TIE at any point and dealt with the fallout after they dealt with the emperor.

They fight. It wasn’t a bad fight. Just not my favorite. It did emphasize though that Kylo is never ever fighting on the offensive with her. Never in three movies has he ever taken an advantage of an opening for a killing blow, and never was it more obvious than in this fight. Kylo gets distracted, Rey stabs him mortally, and this act seems to wake her up from whatever possessed her in the throne room. She heals him and runs away.

This brings up another thing that bothers me. I know the filmmakers were working with some severe challenges with their footage of Carrie. I don’t think it was badly used for the most part. But I was left baffled at what exactly was going on here.

I was not baffled at Kylo/Ben’s confrontation with Han. This was the high point of the movie for me. It was pitch perfect in tone, and touched on the one an only sin Ben ever committed that wasn’t connected to a war objective, the murder of his father. And it made clear that the prodigal was loved and wanted and it wasn’t too late to come home. The heart of Ben’s problem has been the conviction that he has done too much wrong to come home, and while it is only a memory, it is a true memory of the man who loved Ben enough to walk straight into Hell though he knew it would probably be the death of him. I can forgive this scene for throwing the lightsaber into the ocean. I realize that most of the audience doesn’t know that you can heal kyber crystals. Yes, the saber was a metaphor for Ben’s damaged and unstable soul, and yes, it would have been poetic (and badass) for him to show up later with a healed lightsaber, stable and blue and looking like something an angel would fight with. But I’ll forgive that for the poetry of what happens on Exegol.

And then we go to my low point. I’ll set my costumer’s beef with Luke Skywalker’s wig aside. It looked cheap and that’s all I’ll say. It was more the deliberate middle finger to TLJ in the lines while ignoring that Luke’s most iconic and Jedi-like moment in the original trilogy was casting aside his lightsaber in an act of compassion. Yes, Rey was burning her ship and throwing away her weapon for the wrong reason. And it was a deliberate echo of Luke who also was appalled when his fear was twisted by the Dark into an attack on his nephew. She is overcome with the same shame and fear of self. Luke can speak to this in a real way. With better dialogue, it might have worked for me. Alas, it didn’t. Instead we got more exposition to provide us with an extra lightsaber. And more questions about why everyone in this family gave up on Ben Solo.

Here’s the thing. If Leia remains untrained, lots of things make sense: her instinctive but infrequent use of the Force; her fear for her son and sense of inadequacy in dealing with he struggles with darkness, her unresolved issues with her father which lead her to hide her parentage not only from the galaxy but also from her own son. All of this is undone by the training reveal and makes us wonder why everyone was willing to help a descendent of Palpatine but not their own flesh and blood. And in a movie that used dialogue to explain nearly everything, these lacunae stand out more than they would in a film that trusted the audience more. See you could have had Luke say “We messed up. We gave in to fear. And we didn’t want to make the same mistake with you. Rey. I’m the son of Darth Vader. I know more than any man that we are more than our bloodline. And forgetting that with Ben was the worst mistake of my life.” But he didn’t. Which in a movie which tells as much as or more than it shows seems like a deliberate choice.

Have you noticed that I’m ignoring the space battles? That’s because they’re forgettable. I just didn’t care about them. Especially since the galactic conflict remained essentially unresolved. Back to the Force Plot, the only plot that matters.

Rey confronts Palpatine. Yawn. At this point I just don’t care. For most of the movie, she hasn’t seemed like my Rey. I couldn’t relate and by this point I’ve lost interest so I’m more wondering where did all these people come from. Are there concessions? How much does a hot dog and Coke cost on Exegol? Does this stadium have bathrooms? Nice to see that it’s built like the AT&T one down the street with the sliding roof panels. And then my boy Ben Solo arrives and the film is good again. Without a word of dialogue (besides “ow”) Adam Driver delivers the best performance of the movie, showing that the Han Solo of the trilogy was there the whole time in his son. Was there ever a more Han Solo thing than running into a Dark Side temple in your pajamas, armed only with a blaster? And then Rey passes him Anakin’s saber. OMG. Brilliance. The best part of the movie. For a moment I thought that they would at least wrap it up well. And for a moment they’re side by side and all is right in the world. And then Palpatine throws Ben in a pit.

I hate this. I don’t hate this movie but I hate this moment. For three movies we’ve set up that Rey and Ben (He’s Ben now; don’t’ @ me.) are equals in the Force. They have a Yin/Yang dynamic that made this work. The natural conclusion here should have been that they take out Palpatine together. Because both have a beef with him. This is the man responsible for ruining the lives of four generations of Skywalkers. And while Ben is at the bottom of a pit, Rey stands alone, calling on the Jedi to help her.

The Jedi that are ignoring the Skywalker at the bottom of the pit.

Including Ben’s grandfather that he’s been begging for years to help him.

Including his uncle who promised to always be with him. (We were robbed of Ghost Luke trolling Kylo. Robbed I tell you. Mark Hamill would have nailed that.)

Ben is at the bottom of a pit being ignored while the Jedi transform Rey into their sacrificial lamb for Girl Power points.

So, yeah, I hated how Rey defeated Palpatine. It was wrong. It wasn’t in union with her bondmate. It wasn’t through the power of love and compassion. It was Space Wonder Woman meets Harry Potter. And then she dies. Because the Jedi only ever viewed people as tools in their grand battle with the Sith.

But Ben. Oh, Ben loves Rey for who she is. And he climbs out of the pit without a lick of help from anyone and cradles her lifeless form in the most heartbreaking Pieta, and you can see on his face the moment he make his decision and gives everything of himself to bring her back. It was beautiful, and they share the most pure, the most perfect kiss.

And then he dies.

And that’s where the movie breaks me. Because he didn’t have to die. It doesn’t make sense. Why does Leia hold on until this moment? Why does Maz seem satisfied? Where did Ben go? Why does he go unmourned? Where is his Force ghost? This movie just leaves us with more questions.

And the very end kills me. Rey is on Tatooine. A dead world that holds no importance to her (or Leia, I might add). She buries the Skywalker sabers. A funeral. She sees the ghosts of Luke and Leia bless her as she takes on the Skywalker name. A name that she could have taken in a life-affirming way through marriage, but that appears as scavenged from the dead that she has surrounded herself with as she ends the movie an eternal child, side by side with a stolen droid.

It makes no sense.

But whence my nerd rage? Why do I care? Why have I devoted over 3K words to this?

Because the first two movies in this trilogy made me care about these characters.

When I first saw The Force Awakens, I connected immediately with her loneliness. Loneliness is something I get viscerally. I have always been socially awkward and had difficulty making friends. I rarely felt known or understood and I understood that deep longing to belong. When Rey was being interrogated by Kylo Ren, that was what struck me. He notices her loneliness.

And you realize that Kylo is projecting. That he is seeing in her a kindred spirit. He too is lonely, and trapped by fear into being stuck in a place that he knows in his heart of hearts is a dead world. He too is trapped by relics of the past.

So, you see, Rey and Kylo were both me. I had lived that loneliness. I had experienced profound isolation and the sense that no one truly understood me. I desperately wanted them to find their belonging and heal their wounds. And that’s certainly the story that TLJ picked up on and continued.

But there was more. I became fascinated with the question of how the son of Han and Leia fell, and I could see the possibilities in the pattern of their characters: Leia, the woman driven by duty, trying to build the New Republic to make a better galaxy for her son, and leaving her son vulnerable to predation in the process; Han, a man who had only just stopped running from responsibility, and who’s own lack of father figures left him feeling inadequate as a father. Throw in a villain who can groom and psychically abuse their son and you have the ingredients for a tragedy.

And because I identified with Leia, Ben became, in a way, an additional child. A parent’s greatest fear is that in trying to do the right thing for your child you inadvertently make things worse. Poor Leia. She needed a mother to tell her child mattered more than a bill in the Senate. That the galaxy could wait. But Palpatine killed her mother. Both her mothers, because he was as complicit in the death of Breha Organa as he was in the death of Padme Amidala Naberrie.

So when Ben Solo died, it was like losing a child. And anyone who knows me personally knows that I do not choose that phrasing lightly. And being a mother, there is always a sense of survivor’s guilt. The sense that if you had done the right thing, it wouldn’t have happened. It doesn’t matter if that isn’t the truth. It’s how it feels.

I have met so many people online who identify with Ben Solo because they were abused as children. Who like him processed their trauma in unhealthy ways. It’s not where I come from, but I have the capacity to empathize and hear the message they’re inadvertently being told: that if you do bad things because you’ve been groomed and manipulated and brainwashed, you can’t come back. Even if you turn your life around, it won’t matter. You’ll only find peace in death and you will die unremembered as punishment for your sins. And your family will replace you with someone nicer and easier to live with.

But I can hear you saying: It’s not that deep. It’s fake and in space. It’s just a story.

Well, here’s the problem:

1) The brain does not distinguish real people from fictional characters. The part of the brain that produces serotonin and dopamine can’t distinguish fact from fiction. This is actually why art has the power to heal. The catharsis experienced in a work of art can help us process trauma because we relate to the characters in the story. But the flip side is that stories can cause genuine trauma. If we related to characters in a story and they are treated unjustly, we feel that injustice and it hurts as badly as if it were real.

2) Ben Solo was written to be sympathetic. He is the child of beloved characters. His backstory is one filled with pain. He was failed by every family member who should have protected him. He was abused physically and mentally for years. Recently published materials exonerate him from the destruction of the Jedi temple. It was all part of a plot to push him to the Dark. All Ben ever wanted was to be loved for who he was. And that was snatched away from him.

3) I can’t turn off my brain. I can’t stop asking questions and trying to make sense of things. I can help but see the Chekhov’s guns and the symbols and the messages, however inadvertent.

4) It is a grand failure of a movie if it only works on a surface level and not when you start digging deeper. Every other Star Wars movie, including The Phantom Menace, rewards the person who can’t turn off their brain. This was the first one that falls apart so completely the second you start asking questions.

I wish I could like this movie. I was prepared to like it if not love it. And while I got Ben’s redemption and the Rey and Kylo romance that I wanted, I feel like I got nothing. Like they don’t matter at all.

I am planning to start new hobbies in the new year. I got some war gaming miniatures painting sets for Christmas and I’m glad I have a new special interest to pour myself into. I have enjoyed sharing my love of Star Wars trivia with my kids but it just hurts too much at the moment to spend time thinking about a franchise that has been so badly mangled. I’m probably in the bargaining stage of grief at the moment. I wholly buy the theory that there was happy ending filmed and someone blinked in the game of chicken, leaving us the mess that we were handed.

I’m also planning to get back to writing. If even Disney can’t tell a fairy tale properly anymore, it’s time for a new batch of writers to get out there and tell the stories I want to hear. I am sick of grimdark fantasies and cynicism masquerading as sophistication. I may write a fanfic or two to fix the story in my mind, but I think that ultimately I need to be creating original works. I know that there are children eager to believe in happy endings, plenty of women who believe that Byronic heroes can be redeemed, and not a few men who will buy both if the story is well told.

#tros spoilers #negativity #cw:child loss #cw: abuse

45 notes · View notes

mobius-prime · 5 years ago

Text

203. Sonic the Hedgehog #135

The Tommy Trilogy (Part One): Agents of K.N.O.T.H.O.L.E.

Writer: Romy Chacon Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

Well, the title of this story kind of gives away the mystery of the cover image, huh? Sonic finds himself once again traveling to the Forbidden Zone in search of a undercover contact who just so happens to be a turtle. Interestingly, his narration as he makes his way into the bar that they're supposed to meet in notes that though the Forbidden Zone is apparently under Eggman's control, the Mobians that live there have refused to defect to the side of Knothole, instead keeping their heads down and hoping to not get involved. This is the first inkling we've ever gotten of a population besides Angel Island trying to stay neutral in the war, and since Eggman has more important things to focus on than the residents of a small out of the way town in the middle of nowhere they've been largely successful so far.

As this is going on, in some undisclosed location, Eggman and Snively talk about a mysterious project of theirs. Whatever they're creating, apparently the first hundred models of it failed, but their hundred-and-first is operational. Sounds suspicious… Back in the bar, Sonic slides into a booth across from a similarly hooded figure, reciting some code words, and who pops out of his cloak but Tommy Turtle! Yeah, turns out he survived the explosion at the factory a year ago, and only recently managed to message Sally and Sonic about his continued existence.

Now that's interesting. It seems Ceneca-9009 thought of everything, and tried to make sure that a Mobian once deroboticized can't be reroboticized, but somehow Eggman has found a way around that. Sonic and Tommy's conversation is then interrupted by none other than the same "friends" Tommy was hanging around last time we saw him - Sleuth Dawg, Drago, and the Fearsome Foursome, all roboticized once more! What a conveniently relevant conversation there, guys! The roboticized goons try to place the two friends under arrest, but Sonic easily dodges their attacks and begins kicking their metal butts with ease. He even gets his chance to throw in some sass here and there - but Tommy isn't doing as well as he is, being a noncombatant.

Sonic decides to hurry things along, finishing off his own opponents and rushing to Tommy's aid. However, he's startled to find that somehow, Drago and Sleuth have both disappeared from the scene, with Tommy looking perfectly unharmed. Tommy explains that he was able to hotwire the two of them and reprogram them to go throw themselves into the nearest lake, and that's good enough for Sonic. Together, the two leave the messed-up bar behind, with Sonic glad to have Tommy back and alive once more…

Anonymous

Writer: Romy Chacon Pencils: Art Mawhinney Colors: Jason Jensen

So what exactly is the deal with the roboticization thing, anyway? Time to find out in a story that clearly takes place before the previous one. A.D.A.M. gets Eggman's attention in his base and directs him into a room where stand the six villains of the story prior, all roboticized and awaiting commands. The twist? Eggman didn't do it. He's just as surprised as we are to see them standing there roboticized once more. Eggman is of course eager to find out who has managed to reverse the anti-roboticization effects on them, and has A.D.A.M. run diagnostics on their memory banks to find any useful information.

Several hours later, A.D.A.M. rouses Eggman from his nap only to give him the bad news - their memory banks are totally locked down from accessing information about who retransformed them. The only thing he was able to find was a brief image of their benefactor, which has been similarly censored out, leaving only the impression of someone Eggman-sized behind. The final piece of information A.D.A.M. is able to retrieve is that the person behind it has signed their work merely as "Anonymous," which only frustrates Eggman more, as he has no idea if this person is friend or foe. Hmm, so the famous hacker group is behind this, eh? Watch yourself then Eggman, they tend to not like fascists.

Mobius 25 Years Later: Dealing With the Devil

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jason Jensen

It's time for another riveting piece of teen drama! Lien-Da, after dropping Salma off at home, is ready to interrogate Rutan about where he was last night. Rutan isn't looking forward to the repercussions of his actions, but is grateful when Dimitri steps in to give his two cents.

This sucks in so many ways. Like, how can you make me cringe so much from just a few lines of dialogue? Yes, teenagers often want to sneak off to make out with their crushes. Lien-Da should know this, especially as she appears to be a single mother with no father in sight, indicating Rutan is perhaps the result of a one night stand. But then Penders has to go and make it all weird and have Lien-Da get like, bizarrely feminist on Dimitri, and not the reasonable kind of "I just want equality" feminist, more the "rabid social justice warrior who takes offense at everything" kind of strawman feminist. When has any of this ever been established as part of Lien-Da's personality? Why did we need this weird "man, boys and girls are sooooo different" tangent? It's just… so weird and out of place.

For a moment, we actually take a turn into something mildly interesting - that is, the matter of how exactly Lien-Da and Dimitri got to be where they are today. Apparently, at some unspecified time in the past, when Eggman's empire was on the verge of crumbling, he captured Dimitri with the intention of using him to somehow fix everything. When Dimitri refused, Eggman took his revenge… somehow, which resulted in Dimitri becoming the disembodied head that he is today. Lien-Da thinks that he holds a grudge against her for not saving him from his fate, but he retorts that he's only angry because once he was incapacitated (and decapitated), she drove the Legion forward in her own self interest instead of following his vision… which we're not even sure what it was supposed to be in the first place. Again, all of this is extremely vague - seriously, this entire story arc seems to want to gloss over everything that could actually be interesting in favor of the awkward domestic dealings of heroes past their prime and their annoying, bratty offspring. Lien-Da cuts the budding argument off at this point to go right back to the clearly most pressing question of the evening - namely, what exactly Rutan was doing with his girlfriend last night.

I love how this entire thing comes across as though Penders thinks he's danced around the issue of teenagers boning oh so carefully, when really it's done with all the finesse of a drunk baby deer trying to navigate its way through a room full of glass figurines. Like, who do you think you're fooling, dude? A five year old could read this and know you're talking about sex. Furthermore I'm trying to decide if the shocking part is that Rutan was trying to get it on with his girlfriend at all, or if his mother's life lesson was merely not to lose his virginity in a park specifically. Either way, he's able to deflect her anger by relating what he overheard of the conversation between Knuckles and Rotor, which granted, isn't much. However, it's enough to catch Lien-Da off guard, and after thinking for a moment, she suddenly gets unnervingly sweet, saying that she believes him and sending him off with a firm "just don't do it again" to his room. Rutan catches the chill from her sudden attitude shift and leaves gratefully, and when Dimitri tries to talk to her, she brushes him off, clearly calculating her next move. Next thing we know, Julie-Su, chopping vegetables for dinner, finds herself getting a video call from Lien-Da asking to talk…

Again, though, I just have to point out that nothing we're seeing makes any sense here. Everyone is so scared of Lien-Da finding out anything important, but if she's so dangerous, then why hasn't she been arrested and incarcerated for her former crimes yet? Either she's a dangerous terrorist who should pay for her transgressions against echidnakind, or she's a reformed and upstanding member of society. You can't have it both ways, guys! And now, with the new information gleaned from her son, she's all ready to scheme and plot her way to… what, exactly? The only thing she knows as of now is that Knuckles and a friend of his met in a park at night so that the latter could make a request of the former. How does she know it's anything important at all? Remember, Rutan didn't overhear anything about spacetime breaking down, so for all Lien-Da knows, Rotor just wanted to ask Knuckles if he could borrow his hairdryer. There's nothing here to even begin to be suspicious about! This entire arc is held together with duct tape and Penders' tears, and there's so many weird plot holes that rely on us essentially just taking Penders' word for it that this person is bad, and that person is totally in character, and this other person is at all interesting. And I hate to say it, but we haven't even seen the worst yet! We've yet to see King Sonic and Queen Sally enter the picture, and once they do things only get weirder…

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #sth 135 #writer: romy chacon #writer: ken penders #pencils: ron lim #pencils: art mawhinney #pencils: steven butler #colors: jason jensen

10 notes · View notes

avaantares · 5 years ago

Text

FFVII:REMAKE - A Review

So I beat the game two weeks ago and started writing down my thoughts while they were fresh in my mind, but I didn’t post anything then because my one IRL friend who is also playing it hadn’t finished it yet and I didn’t want to risk posting anything spoiler-y. But the extra time has allowed me to play through the game again on Hard difficulty, which has allowed me to reconsider and elaborate on some of my thoughts. And frankly at this point I just need to dump my Very Big Opinions somewhere, so... here ya go.

I discuss visuals, gameplay, character and story below. I’ve tried to keep spoilers minimal up front, though obviously if you want to go into the game totally cold, don’t read this. All major spoilers are clearly tagged. All of it is below a cut to spare your dash.

Also, there are pretty pictures, because why not?

First, my background with this franchise: I played through the original FFVII multiple times; I’ve watched and rewatched Advent Children and Last Order, played Crisis Core, gave up on Dirge of Cerberus despite my deep love for Vincent Valentine (sorry, VV, but your game was just a mess), and lamented that Before Crisis wasn’t available in my country. I even played (and own!) Ehrgeiz, the obscure fighting game that featured the main cast. (Still bitter that they didn’t keep Miki Shinichirou as the voice of Sephiroth. He’s one of my faves.)

^ Ehrgeiz, a mediocre fighting game that forever endeared itself to me by including Turks!Vincent Valentine as a playable character. 💖

In short, I’ve been waiting for this game for DECADES.

So. Here we go. My thoughts on Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE.

The good:

The character models are very pretty. With individual pores, threads and scuffs visible, they’re so detailed that it’s almost impossible to reconcile them with the mouthless sprites from the original game – even more so than Advent Children (and dear goodness, that was over a decade ago now, wasn’t it?). Still, they’ve kept the costume details and absurd proportions largely intact (Barret’s fists are literally larger than Tifa’s entire head, yet somehow it works visually), so it’s not too much of a departure from the familiar.

They’ve kept the aesthetic. I was afraid the game would try to update the iconic world of Midgar, but by and large, it’s full of visually-arresting designs that preserve the gritty-industrial look and feel of the original.

Japanese version is included. BLESS YOU, Square Enix, for including the Japanese voices and character animations. Not only is it impossible for me to hear Cloud in anything other than Sakurai Takahiro’s voice, but the Japanese script is a bit nicer to the characters. I’m not really keen on the English dub… but more on that below.

They fixed the spelling of Aerith’s name. This may seem like a minor point, but considering it’s been 20 years and I’m still bitter that Devil May Cry still hasn’t corrected “Nelo Angelo,” it’s a small victory.

Improved combat. Admittedly, I wasn’t sold on the new combat system at first, but after playing through the game twice, I’ve come to really like it. It has a few rough edges and can get chaotic in some battles, but it does a decent job of blending the feel of an action game with turn-based strategy. The fact that you can switch to a more traditional turn-based system if you prefer is also nice. (I haven’t tried Classic mode yet, though.)

Weapon customization. The Skill Points system allows you to upgrade your loadout instead of acquiring new gear. The tutorial was somewhat lacking (I didn’t quite figure out the multiple-core-unlock thing right away), but I appreciated the ability to add materia slots or stat buffs rather than just cycling through a dozen swords that Cloud apparently keeps in his back pocket.

Background dialogue management. On the whole, the conversations as you run through town enhance the story without slogging down the gameplay; you don’t have to stop and talk to every single resident, because snatches of their conversation reach you (and your on-screen chatlog) as you pass. You can stop and listen for more detail if you want, or you can just keep moving. The extra worldbuilding is really nice.

The music. The orchestrated versions of the original themes are excellent (and some of those music cues gave me goosebumps… Did I spend way too many hours immersed in the original game? Probably). I can take or leave some of the collectible jukebox tunes, but the background music in general is good. (But did I earn that Disc Jockey trophy? Yes, yes I did.)

Supporting character development. Jessie, Biggs and Wedge actually have characters! And personalities! Clichéd ones, admittedly, but it’s an improvement over the original game killing them all off within the first few minutes. The game also does justice to the Turks, and actually surprised me with how much depth of character it gave Reno and Rude in particular (perhaps setting them up for a mini redemption arc so players forgive them for dropping a plate on tens of thousands of slum residents?). Their moments of concern for each other and (brief) crises of conscience made them more than the stock villains they were in the original game, more in line with their temporarily good-aligned characters in Advent Children. Tseng, likewise, was on point. However, I do have to qualify all this with one irate question: Where the heck is Elena?! Seems like the female characters are always getting left out… /sigh/

Improved plot devices. REMAKE cleans up some of the more questionable and outdated content from the original. As you likely already know from the demo, the new game somewhat exonerates the protagonists by having Shinra blow up their own mako reactor to turn public opinion against AVALANCHE (possibly because someone finally realized that it’s hard to sympathize with characters who are willing to melt down an entire reactor and kill a bunch of innocent civilians). AVALANCHE are still eco-terrorists, but they’re… terrorists with a conscience? I dunno, at least they feel bad when people die now… Likewise, the weird and uncomfortable Honey Bee Inn segment of the original game has been reborn as an amazing dance extravaganza. Less voyeurism/prostitution, more Vegas floor show (complete with minigame choreography) and makeover. The whole Don Corneo scenario is still hella creepy, but frankly, there’s nothing that can fix that.

Series references. Fans of the original will appreciate all the inside jokes and direct references to the original game and other franchise entries: One-off comments about Chocobo racing; a broken console in Wall Market that shoots at you; a framed picture of the original 32-bit Seventh Heaven; ads for Banora apple juice; side mentions of characters and plot devices from spinoff games; PHS communication… The game definitely pays tribute to its history. They even recreate the original loading screen and several of Cloud’s iconic poses/animations throughout the game:

The neutral:

Recycled gags. Look, I know Advent Children was the ultimate evolution of FFVII for a while, and admittedly, it did some things very well. The running gag with Rude’s sunglasses and the victory fanfare being used as a ringtone are some of the best moments in the film, in part because they were so unexpected. But as much as I enjoyed the repeated nods to AC in this game, they felt a little desperate, like there were no new jokes to insert so they had to double down on the ones they’d used the last time this franchise had a renaissance. (See Rude’s broken sunglasses, below.) And fitting into the series as a whole, it feels a little weird. Why is Rude’s ringtone the same as the clones’ from Advent Children? Does Barret really need to sing the victory fanfare over and over when he defeats an enemy? Is there supposed to be some history behind that song that was left out of the worldbuilding? It just feels too meta.

Arbitrary localization of names. I don’t really grasp why it was necessary to rename so many items and characters for the English market. Some changes make sense for localization (e.g. Whack-a-Box certainly works better for an American audience than Crash Box), but others seem arbitrary, like changing Aniyan Kunyan to Andrea Rhodea or Mugi to Oates (a play on the meaning of his name in Japanese, but... does it matter?). And then… well, I don’t want to spoil A Major Plot Element, but there’s another thing that changes names from one English word (in the Japanese track) to a different English word. Why? No idea. It doesn’t affect gameplay, and it’s not really a problem, but listening to the Japanese track, I found it jarring to have the subtitles contradict what I was hearing.

Underutilized characters. While the whole gamut of original FFVII characters make appearances, several of them aren’t used to full effect, or aren’t used at all to advance the story. Rufus Shinra’s bossfight is a decent challenge, but while his character was vital to both the original FFVII and Advent Children, his presence in this game is little more than a cameo. His fight could be cut or swapped out with any other boss, and it would have zero effect on the plot. Similarly, while Hojo is a key player in the full story (which this game doesn’t cover, since it’s only a fraction of the original timeline), he’s largely wasted here, except as a means of extending play time by making you wander through corridors and fight a bunch of monsters for “research.” (I have no idea what his motivation is; you’d think he’d be more interested in recapturing Aerith or Cloud, but instead he just... opens an elevator and lets them leave? after they beat up some midbosses.) Reeve Tuesti actually has a solid presence in this game, but since he’s ONLY ever active as himself, there’s no explanation for the random Cait Sith cameo in one scene (players new to the franchise probably have no idea why a random cartoon cat showed up for a few seconds and was never mentioned again). Obviously the plot arcs have to change when the game is covering only a few days’ time in a much longer story, and the major players need to be introduced at some point if they’re going to feature in later games in the series, but from a narrative standpoint, there are an awful lot of superfluous characters doing things for no reason in this installment.

The bad:

THE PADDING. Dear goodness, there is so much padding to make this a standalone game instead of just the first chapter of a longer adventure. I got really, really sick of running literally from one end of the map to the other on side quests – and that’s me, an avowed trophy hunter who spends hours scouring dark corners for collectible items in other games, saying that. So much of this game felt like time fill that didn’t really advance the story. It’s also full of unnecessary new characters with improbable Squeenix hair, like Roche the super-annoying motorcycle SOLDIER (below), or Leslie, Don Corneo’s doorman who somehow merits his own backstory and side quest. (Though in fairness, every FFVII sequel has added superfluous characters, with Crisis Core possibly being the worst offender.) But it just felt really drawn-out and bloated for a game of this generation. If this game had been as compact and tightly-written as the other games I typically play, it probably only would have taken me 15 hours to beat instead of 50. (I don’t actually know how many hours I spent on it the first time through, as I didn’t check the play clock before restarting on Hard difficulty. I do know it took me over 110 hours total to complete the game on both modes, though much of the second run was spent dying repeatedly on a handful of nasty fights. Hard mode removes items and MP replenishment, and if you run out of MP at any point during a chapter, you’re going to die. A lot.)

The pacing. Related to the above... the Midgar portion of the original game was just the setup for a larger story. It wasn’t meant to have its own complete dramatic arc so much as to introduce you to the world and the major players. Consequently, there are some really odd beats in this story, as well as a total lack of urgency in your mission. There are no natural places to slot in the side quests and minigames, so they’re shoehorned awkwardly between plot sequences. “Quick, our friend is in mortal peril and needs our help!” "Okay, cool, we’ll go rescue her after we spend ten hours running around town doing random errands for townspeople and playing games with the local kids.” Uh... what?

The graphics just aren’t as good as they should be. While the character models are gorgeous, there are a lot of low-res background textures and weird polygons that don’t quite match up with other components. Most egregious are the Shinra logos, which frequently get close-ups as part of the fixed camera work and, frankly, look like lossy JPEGs. (See image below, screencapped from a PS4 Pro. Those jagged edges on the logo are present throughout the entire game.) There are weird clipping errors and artifacted images and reflective surfaces that don’t reflect, making the game look more like something from the PS3 era than a 4K late-gen PS4 game. (And it’s not that we don’t have the technology: Uncharted 4 was released back in 2016, and the rendering of its vast world was twice as pretty. Devil May Cry 5, released in early 2019, has far more realistic textures and object interaction. Granted, those are different types of games with fewer NPCs to render, but I feel like there’s no excuse for a game this big to look this mediocre.)

The HUD could be better. The lower-corners concept is okay, though it took me a while to train my eyes to travel between both sides of the screen and track the fight action. But for a long time, I didn’t even notice the commands in the upper left corner of the screen, and after playing through the game twice I still have no idea what they say because I couldn’t focus on the tiny text long enough to read them while trying not to die in combat. (I just looked it up; apparently they’re combat control shortcuts? Huh, that would have been useful to know.) It wasn’t until my second time through that I realized there even WERE separate controls on screen during the motorcycle minigames; I had resorted to panicked button mashing to figure it out the first time through because there was no tutorial (you’re just dropped into the action) and, having ignored the small text for the previous hundred combats, I had no reason to look for on-screen instructions there. Not that it would have helped, since on many backgrounds the text in the upper left is really difficult to read (see below). It’s worth noting that I have better than 20/20 vision and played this game on a large TV screen and still had trouble reading some things; on a smaller TV, or for someone with less acute vision (like my sister, who is blind in one eye), I think even the basic menu controls would be difficult to see. While you can resize the font for subtitles, my cursory glance through the menu did not uncover an option to increase the size of the HUD.

Inter-fight menu mechanics. Specifically, the inability to save (or save loadout settings) between fights in a multi-part sequence. There are several back-to-back fights in which it is necessary to switch characters or change gear between bosses. The game treats them as one continuous fight, though it does allows you to access the equipment menu by holding square during key cutscenes. Which is good, if you only have one of a particular materia or accessory that you need to switch between characters, and in most cases when you die the game lets you restart just before your current fight instead of restarting the whole sequence -- also good, since some multi-stage bosses can easily take 20-30 minutes to beat, and if several of those are strung together in sequence, you’re in for a long play session to get past them. But since it’s treated as one fight, you can’t save between bosses (more than once, I had to leave my PS4 running in Rest Mode overnight and just hoped we didn’t have a power glitch), and if you happen to get killed and need to restart the fight, your loadouts reset. Which means if you’re, say, fighting the end boss on Hard difficulty and get killed in the first two minutes -- which happened to me a lot -- by the time you restart the fight, sit through the unskippable cutscene, access the menu and rearrange all the materia and accessories you need, you’re spending five or six minutes gearing up for two minutes of play, and then doing that over and over again every time you die. It gets really old.

The English dub script. *deep breath* Okay, look, I know I can be a bit elitist about translations, but I really do not like the English adaptation of this game. It makes Cloud come across as less socially-awkward and far more of a deliberate jerk, Aerith is mouthy and even swears (which is not accurate to her original character), and it downplays some of the symbolism that’s more obvious in the Japanese script. One quick example: When Aerith gives Cloud a flower, she says (in Japanese), “In the language of flowers, this means ‘reunion.’” It’s subbed/dubbed in English, “Lovers used to give these when they were reunited.” That’s a subtle difference, but since the concept of “reunion” is a freakin’ huge part of the FFVII plot, and since Sephiroth was on screen literally seconds before that line is delivered, my brain automatically went, “OMG REUNION!!!” while I’m guessing people listening in English only picked up on the romantic subtext. It’s a pretty minor thing, and of course translation is always a complex balancing act between literal meaning and local market understanding, but the English version just seemed to me to have a different vibe overall. (Unfortunately, the English subtitles are the same as the dub, so unless you can understand the Japanese audio you’re kind of stuck with that dialogue.)

[WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW THIS POINT]

- …And my #1 complaint about Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE is…

…it’s not actually a remake.

Sure, the game starts out the same way and covers a lot of the same events, but fundamentally, it’s a sequel, not a retelling. It’s evident from Cloud’s future-oriented visions throughout the game that something else is going on, and the ending MAKES NO SENSE if you don’t already know the story. Heck, even the rest of the game doesn’t really make sense if you don’t know the story -- Sephiroth’s presence is never explained; Zack isn’t even introduced, just shows up randomly at the end; Cloud’s flashbacks of Tifa and her dead father in Nibelheim are left as a complete mystery (and since she evidently remembers the burning of her town, judging by her dialogue outside Aerith’s house, why doesn’t she even react when Sephiroth shows up?).

The core elements of the plot – the Feelers (Whispers) preserving a specific fate; the three entities from the future (whose weapon types just happen to correspond to certain named characters) defending their timeline; the return of post-Advent Children Sephiroth (the only time we’ve seen him in human form with one black wing), who has inhabited the Lifestream since his death and promised that he would never truly disappear, who in the end appeals to Cloud directly for an alliance rather than attempting to control him, because he knows now that Cloud is strong enough to defy the Reunion instinct; the change in the outcome of story events in which Biggs (and, unconfirmed as to which timeline he’s actually in, but quite possibly Zack) now survives his intended death -- all point toward Sephiroth trying to manipulate destiny into an alternate outcome in which he is victorious, and using this naive version of Cloud to facilitate it. That means this game is taking place in an alternate or splinter universe, created at some point after the events of the original Final Fantasy VII, and possibly even after the events of Advent Children.

All of that is fine from an overall continuing-story perspective – it opens up a lot of interesting possibilities, like the fact that Aerith might survive now that Cloud has seen prescient flashes of her death (among other events), and there are opportunities for more story twists and changes from what players might expect. But touting this as a remake of the original game has the potential to confuse players who are new to the franchise. FFVII was groundbreaking back in 1997, and it defined JRPGs for an entire generation of Western gamers. But that was more than two decades ago, and a lot of current gamers weren’t even born then, so while they’ve probably heard of the classic game, they aren’t necessarily steeped in its lore. FFVII:R relies heavily on prior knowledge of the series to carry its twist ending, so it largely fails as a standalone game.

Also, speaking as a longtime fan of the franchise… I honestly found the ending rather lackluster. It was a twist, of sorts, but not the sort of shocking, mind-bending revelation that made the first game so iconic. Granted, it’s hard to follow an act like revealing that your protagonist’s entire identity is a lie, not to mention killing off one of your main characters a third of the way into the story! But when the surprise ending is just, Surprise! We’re going to change things up a bit this time around so you aren’t entirely sure what’s coming! Also, here’s a gratuitous Sephiroth fight because everyone expects that, even though it doesn’t serve the main story at all nor resolve any conflicts previously established within this game! it smacks of Different for the sake of Being Different, not for the sake of a really amazing storyline they’re hiding up their sleeve. It’s a bit of a let-down, and I find that I... just... don’t really care that much. Which, for someone who’s been a fan of the series for nearly a quarter of a century, means there’s a Big Freaking Problem somewhere. If you’re not keeping the attention of your die-hard fans, how do you hope to build a fanbase of players new to the franchise?

Given the pacing and story issues inherent in this game, I’m not convinced that the following game(s) in the franchise are going to be structured any better. Considering the amount of pure side-quest padding they did in Midgar, I have no idea how they’ll maintain that same tone on something the scale of the World Map portion of the original game, unless they just completely eliminate things like Fort Condor and the submarine and the spaceship side quests. I have a feeling the Gold Saucer is going to be reduced to a Jessie flashback, a Chocobo race (probably to win a key item), and a battle arena run like the coliseum in Wall Market in this game. If they include all the story elements and side characters from the original, this series is going to be a dozen games long.

Still, on the whole this game was enjoyable, and I’m glad I played it. It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, but they haven’t completely killed off my interest, so I’ll probably continue with the series whenever the next game comes out. Though I’m not really sure if the higher-priced edition I pre-ordered was worth the extra money, so I may wait and see how the next game is shaping up before deciding which version to get...

But if they don’t give me a really pretty (playable) Vincent Valentine in the next installment, I may riot. I do have priorities.

#final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii: remake #ff7:r #final fantasy 7: remake #ff7 remake #video games #long post #review

9 notes · View notes