#its still more of a proof of concept i think? but its fun seeing how they solve issues like 'how do we keep the reactor from melting'

[whilomm]

watched a video on nuclear fusion experiments and wondering "oh how does it generate the electrici-" its just fucking steam again its always fucking steam. everything is fucking steam. fuck this

[melpomenismask]

Revati, The Messiah.

I’m going to give you a look from the outside in, because I get what you guys feel about Revati naks. We are also watching ourselves in real time. We are aware of how strange it all is, ourselves, our lives, the world around us. But when you already know how things will go, are not confused by the basic existential concept of cause and effect, what the hell are we supposed to do with this big, long, messy trap everyone else calls life? When you can understand everything you see—given you can see yourself—how do you even life a life without knowing every step you take is not your own, but a part of a dance that starts from the womb and ends when you never come back?

Oh, and, everyone thinks you’re either the second coming of christ, or that other guy who shows up when it’s time to get a bit more silly.

Welcome to the Revati conundrum. We hate it here too. That’s why we’re laughing through it. You just don’t get the joke. You think all this stuff matters still. Sorry to see it. Let me know when you’re ready to chill out.

I am a Revati sun AMK in the 12th house and it is time for me to cook 🤓. I love being a Revati. We are everything and nothing. We are simultaneously in and out of the loop. We are the loop. We are the bridge between “reality” and the true order of things. And then there’s all this other stuff. …Yay…so..cool…

Revatis are fundamentally esoteric. We are magical and zany, and we only have to open our eyes to use it. This is no easy task, of course, but it is the only one that matters. Everything else is just noise. But, the noise is fun. Sure. Until everyone takes it far too seriously like that’s all there is to being a person. Then you judge us. Then we’re suddenly crazy, bizzare, unhinged, dangerous. We’re just bearded kids playing in this big, weirdly realistic sandbox. We’re not thinking of you. That’s our power and our flaw. We’re not thinking of you, we’re thinking of everything. If you can grasp that axiom, you will decode us very easily. We love and care deeply—so deeply we have to laugh at how awful everything is. How cruel and selfish and heartless everyone seems, and how it could be fixed if we just followed the obvious guiding signs.

But that’s the thing. They’re not very obvious, are they?

Well then, maybe I should tell everyone what they are!

People think what you’re saying is crazy, and there’s no proof. Maybe we are crazy?

Oh.

Maybe I am crazy.

Maybe I can make it fun.

Revatis usually get no mind nor sympathy when we are young. We are too different and confusing to even try to work with, and we understand things most don’t, but we aren’t sure either, so when no one else gets it, what else can we do other than laugh at the confusion of it all. Because maybe then you’ll let us hang around. Join in.

Right?

Crazy, Crazy Revati!

We literally don’t know what we’re doing. That’s another thing. They sound like the same, but they aren’t. Is that already too confusing? Boo hoo, welcome to Revati. As a Revati, I was born into the world with the sense that there was something bigger than what was around me going on, but with no proof and no sense of where to find it. So I just screwed around instead, and then I found out everyone hates fun Revati. And, I didn’t get any less ignorant than before, but I sure did walk all over everyone in the process!

It’s fair to not be pleased.

Fun Revati is weird. Fun Revati is laughing at jokes that are definitely at your expense. Fun Revati does not care if you feel bad, because it’s not about you, it’s about how you and everything are just so hilarious. Imagine waking up everyday walking over two left feet in “reality”, but with a bunch of mysterious spiritual gifts and esoteric knowledge that is oddly making things work out for us. Most people do not understand Revati while carrying its energy, so understand they are likely confused too, but trying to find the sense of things. It’s when they don’t want to admit they are wrong or have harmed others that the problems start. We look for rules, but the only rules we ultimately get is to have fun. Make the world brighter, happier. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at the world. Enjoy the world, you learn more when you explore. Try not to hurt people in the process. And be sure to smile. Smile, because everything is so sad. Smile, because everyone is so sad and lost. But we know where to go. We’re being led.

…Well, kinda.

Mostly?

I feel like there’s someone else better qualified than me to give you wisdom. I’m just Crazy Revati, remember?

Why are you all looking at me all of the sudden?

Revati, The Wise One.

I find it interesting how the planets resonate as motivations for nakshatra behavior. For my own analysis, I like to point out that mercury is a small, fast planet. We are on the outskirts because we are light years ahead of everyone around us without trying, it’s just what we were given. The downside of that power is that we are light years ahead of everyone without trying. Mercury is smart. It knows it’s smart because no one can keep up. But it is so small and everyone picks on it for being so smart. So it gets bitter. Jealous. Resentful. Hurt. Scared.

Stronger.

Mercury never has to stop. That is our curse. We are constantly moving and making things happen. But what is actually worth making happen. Why are you moving so much? What the hell is going on?

Revati stops.

Revati listens.

Revati, with time and support (and patience) understands.

We are all born children, and we all enter the world as if it is an blank canvas as for our own lives. For most other planets this becomes clearly not the case, but Mercury is too fast. Reality can’t even keep up with us. We’re so smart. We’re so clever and brilliant. We’re on top of the world. We deserve it. We should take everything for ourselves. No one ever considered us, so we should take everything we can get. It ours. It’s owed. We deserve to take the world, and we can. It’s justice, not greed. Don’t you know what I’ve been through?

Hello, Jyestha. Dodging therapy sessions, I see.

When you master the game of life, when you can conquer the world like you can wag your pinky, then it’s not that important anymore, is it? Unfortunately Jyesthas don’t figure that out until they destroy all they build, but Revatis slow down sooner. We are still in conflict. We’re so fast we start slowing down. Nothing is ever in perfect order. Nothing is ever “clear”. But that is the clarity.

Everything is as it should be.

That is the truth Revati natives live by. We follow the flow of existence as beat we can. We try to help the world get in tune with it too, hence our humanitarian and nerdy streaks. We want to find a way to make everyone understand, because we can feel how much the ignorance hurts. We see it hurting innocents who only committed the crime of having bad luck, we see it fueling those that are the root of the cause. We try to laugh. But it’s not a laughing matter. And at a certain point, it’s just not funny anymore, and we have to slow down to fall in tune with how out of order yet in order everything is for our own sanity and sensitive hearts.

Still, we are ever misunderstood.

If we are not jesters or fools, we are gods. Messianic. Heroes. We don’t think of ourselves that way if we’re well-adjusted. That’s the opposite of the Revati way. There is no pride, no ego, no leaders, no hierarchy. There is simply Being. We focus too much as Revati as a mere fish, but fish are a part of the whole. You forget, the ocean is one big soul. You forget the ocean of existence, of all things. After you conquer reality, the only thing left is to understand it. And to reach true knowledge, you must leave yourself behind.

Ironically, it is by doing this that Revati natives finally get what they always wanted. To be able to help, to be able to understand, to know what they’re doing. We are tour guides—inexperienced, but just give us minute—to this whole funny game called life. It is at this point Mercury finally slows down and can join in with everyone else; share what it has learned and gathered from all that running instead of keeping it for ourselves.

(Seriously, Jyestha. Therapy. It’s painful to watch you guys make messes. Literally get over yourself and your problems will “magically” disappear. With love, it’s genuinely stupid behavior if you’re so smart. Get over it all and watch the light come in. Obviously not all of you, but the ones who got personally offended. Doesn’t it ever get boring, the same old victim mentality?)

When Revatis finally come into themselves, we are finally able to help everyone else smile about life too, because we know where to find hope, where to find love, where to find certainty (spoiler: there is none). We think it’s obvious until we finally slow down and open ourselves up to our bigger, slower friends. Mercury is clever, but not exactly smart. That’s a whole other ballgame. But it is wise once it finds its way to stop running, and just start riding the waves, because it can show everyone else how to do it too.

As long as you don’t turn us away, that is.

The “ocean” of life is big and wide, unfamiliar, unpredictable, and Revatis are born native to it. We are moved by the waves. We connect with our friends while we wiggle our little fish butts all over the sea, trying to learn as much as we can. When you are one with the sea, you no longer have to fight it to get what you want, where you need to go. It’s not easy for us either.

But we see you. We see how much more lost you are. It surprises us, but we are soft people. We see you, and we want to help. And when we are done, we can finally join the ocean in its grand design, and leave the need to smile behind. It seems harmless, I know. There are worse things to cling to. But when you have all heart and no clarity, when one thing hurts, everything hurts. And we can truly feel everything. We can find joy in it. Even gratitude. Even power. Even freedom.

But we no longer need joy when we are at peace.

That’s what this is all about in the end.

I think.

Maybe.

From a friend. :)

[rileys-battlecats]

How difficult was it to create a whole another clan, and do you have any tips for those wanting to start? I've always been wanting to make one but honestly my worldbuilding skills are not that great and procrastination levels are high😿

Honestly I never really set out to make an entire clan! It started with just a little handful of OCs, and then it just sort of.... expanded on its own HAHA

My advice would be to start small! I started by focusing on a little handful of characters, really only fleshing out two of them (mudpaw and wrentail), and then branching out from there based on their relationships. Mudpaw needed peers, so the other apprentices were designed and eventually their personalities were developed. Then those apprentices needed mentors, and needed dynamics with those mentors, and then the mentors needed dynamics with each other, and at that point I had so many cats it was just logical to design a leader, deputy, and med cat! And then I just designed a few background characters to fill in some spaces (sometimes reusing old designs I'd made but hadn't used for anything), and then I had an entire clan!

It definitely helps that I LOVE designing cat characters, it's actually so fun for me HAHA. Any excuse to make up a new kitty cat is good enough for me :P

The worldbuilding for the clan was built mostly from what I needed it to be for the characters/story! I've been putting it together piecemeal for quite a long time. Don't feel pressured to figure everything out all at once! I left a lot of blank spaces in the clan's history/culture in the beginning; I only really started filling it out over time and with a lot of help brainstorming from the people leaving their questions and thoughts on this blog! Even now, I still sometimes have new ideas that I want to integrate into the clan's lore

My biggest tip is to just have fun with it! Use concepts that are cool to you, make stories that YOU love, and don't worry about making it appealing to other people. They're your OCs, they're there for you to have fun with! Don't worry about making everything cohesive and finished all at once, you can make things and develop them in little bite-sized bits, then just put them together whenever you want!

A more concrete tip is to think about what little pieces of clan culture affect the characters and their thoughts/feelings/relationships! For instance, I have one of Micaclan's most important traits being that they are deeply insular as a group; this means that outsiders are treated with suspicion, but it also means that they care about their clanmates immensely. Those considered to be part of the "in-group" are met with support, love, and loyalty. So, anything or anyone that breaks from this loyalty is treated very harshly (ex. Possum leaving the clan was seen as a very serious betrayal). This insular trait affects how the clan treats Mudpaw (a perceived outsider), it affects how the clan treats their kits (they all share responsibility for each kitten equally/"it takes a village" approach), and it affects how the clan sees its individual members' shortcomings (ex. Wrentail being seen as a harsh mentor, sure, but ultimately believing him to be a good cat; they can't really conceive one of their own as being in the wrong without some serious proof).

Another tip is to include fun little details that might not seem important to a story, but still add a little bit of flavor to the world! Micaclan values storytelling, and Wrentail was one of their best storytellers. The elder Snaptail keeps clan history alive by imparting old stories to each new generation. The clan teaches their kits to swim at a young age, due to their history of losing cats to a flood and now living close to water. The clan doesn't have frequent access to Starclan, because their holy place is dangerous to approach. The clan's healers meet with Starclan each half moon only symbolically, by traveling to their mountain's peak to stargaze. Little details like that can do a lot to make the clan feel more alive!

I know this is sort of an eclectic mess as far as tips/advice goes, but I hope it helps!!

[morbid-lycoris]

Reasons I hate "Mental health" tiktok

(keep in mind that these things are what I personally saw on tiktok and not everybody might have these experiences)

Self-diagnosing, tbh I am not a fan of self diagnosis, especially with complex disorders. I understand that not everybody has access to a diagnosis, but if you can't get a diagnosis, you probably can't afford treatment, and misdiagnosis can be very harmful.

Framing mental illnesses, especially ASPD as edgy and cool, I was told by doctors that I have traits of ASPD, but it's most likely my BPD, and I most likely don't have it. But I do understand that your average ASPD person isn't a serial killer with 0 emotions. And having ASPD doesn't make you cooler or less cooler.

Framing NPD or ASPD as inherintly bad, on the other side of the spectrum, everybody acts as if especially Narcissists are ALWAYS abusive, of course there will be narcissists who won't be good people, but every single group of people has that.

These "10 signs you have [Insert disorder] 😍😍😍" videos. They mostly have generic af symptoms, and most people will relate to like half of them. It's obviously just a very bad concept.

Fake-claiming, while there are people on tiktok who have been caught faking disorders, unless there is literal proof that they are faking it, its stupid to call them a faker. I see this, especially in DID spaces, where there are probably a few fakers, but that doesn't mean everyone is, and claiming that they are faking it, just because you feel like it, is dumb. Especially the people on r/fakedisordercringe on reddit.

Romanticizing psychwards, I don't know if that is still a thing, but it definitely was back in 2020/2021. And I was in different psychwards multiple times since I've been eleven. Sometimes, it was a very bad experience, one time I made friends, that I still have to this day and we had a lot of fun moments. But a psychward is not a fun holiday, and sometimes can be kind of traumatic even.

The "Mental health positivity" now this one is more of a me-problem I have to admit, but I recently saw a post where someone listed some things that make her "happy to have bpd" and like these things might have had to do with her bpd, but they definitly weren't symptoms, so idk how she is so confident in that these things have to do with her disorder. And as I read all of the things, none of them applied to me at all, which made me feel worse, also I never thought of my bpd as something positive because my life would probably suck way less without it.

The fetishization, I don't think I have to explain what's wrong with saying stuff like "I want a gf/bf with bpd 💖". Although I haven't seen this one as often luckily.

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E6 (Part1)

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We’re on A REMEDY TO CURE ALL ILLS

(Hoo boy theres gonna be a LOT of lore in this one! Let's go!)

Ok more examples on how medical knowledge in Camalot is HUGLY advanced despite still beliving in Humorism and four elements. Gaius originally blames Morgana's condition on inflammation of the brain perhaps caused by infection. Infection itself was not understood and tended to be blamed on bad air, god, planetary conjunction, or natural disasters (Mostly bad air and god if it was a widespread contagion though) Some folk healers DID know how to tend it with herbs! The idea that an infection could be inside or effect distant areas like the brain in this kinda way is pretty advanced. Again I chalk this up to the world having magic. Another tool to understand what is going on around them that real history did not.

Gaius: see if you can find me some fresh rosemary and Yarrow

Rosemary and Yarrow can be combined to help achy joints, inflamed muscles, nerve pain, wounds, bruises, swelling, inflammation, and sprains Rosemary also stimulates circulation and blood flow

The idea of a remedy to cure all ills was very much a thing. It was called a panacea and was around as an idea from Greek times and named after a Greek goddess of medicine. Elements and Humors ALSO came from greek times, Greeks were hugely influential in science. It was greatly sought by alchemists and people of learning. This is likely part of why Arthur was not like GTFO. (Even if he was not interested in the offer at first out of loyalty to Gauis) More on this in a sec

Arthur: He says he has a remedy to cure all ills

Gaius: Impossible

Arthur: For Morgana's sake surely we should at least hear him out. I mean what have we go to loose. Please father

Gaius: Probably some Charlatan hoping for a quick shilling

Arthur: I don't care if she is about to die what harm can it do!?

Two things to address here. First of all Gaius is not pulling the charlatan idea out of nowere Or the impossible. As much as a Panacrea was believed to exist. There was no proof of the concept. One might hear about it existing in distant lands or the like. But someone like Gaius might be skeptical of the concept after his MANY MANY years spent in medical practice. Its possible he tried and failed to create it himself too. FURTHERMORE selling a supposed Panacrea was a thing MANY MANY charlatans did. It was perfect for praying on desperate people.

Now onto Shilling, I belvie this is the only time a unit of money is mentioned specifically in Merlin. It originalted from an anglo saxon phrase that meant twentieth of a pound. It was intoduced as "Shilling" much later in history. So I belive it is being used here as a generalism for a small amount of money. I don't think there are actually shillings in the Merlin universe. BUT one never knows. There are a lot of other historicaly inacurate things. Its part of what makes the show so fun!

This checks out Alchemy was thought to be the way to create a Panacrea . It was mainly focused on finding a way to create enternal life and gold though the philosophers stone. (More in later eppisodes) But it was also the forerunner of modern chemistry thus a physician would use a LOT of the same equipment!

Okay in Medieval times this would normally be known as apoplexy. It came from, the greek word apoplexia meaning to be stuck down suddenly with violance, Apoplexy meant when a person was struck down for seemlingly no reason without conviousness or motion maintaining pulse and breathing and later came cover things like stokes or Cerebral Hemorrage. It was still though this was caused by Humoral issues. This would presist to near modern day. It was not until 1658 that Cerebral Hemorage was first identified as a thing diferant from other types of Apoplexy So again Medicine in BBC Merlin is WAY ahead of its time. I will chalk it up in these case once again to the existance of magic, but ALSO to the fact that autopsies were likley a thing! (I've said this many times but this is more evidence to my theory as autopsies were integral of seperating apoplexy into diferant things.)

Morgana uses the word Heaven here. While the word usualy has a conotation of christianity/jusdism/islam it can also mean pagan afterlives. Still I'm making a note in case it becomes important later.

Gaius: I wish to see the court records for the time of the great purge

Geoffery: what possible need could you have for those.

Gaius: I fear that the past may have come back to haunt us

Geoffery: all the mroe reason to keep the records hidden

Gaius: I know that neither of us wants to remember that time, but this is a matter of great urgency.

Geoffery: The record are sealed they cannot be oppened. Uther has forbidden it.

Okay we need to examine WHY Uther might have forbidden it. He has no trouble thinking about it. He has no issue mentioning it. The first episode is a celebration of it!

I mean the fact he was later tormented be seeing the souls of those he killed MIGHT hint he had some regrets about what he did? But he might just have been terrified to see them back? And compared to everything else where he seems to have no regrets?

SOOO perhaps It has to do with Ygraine's death and Arthur's birth. But they can't have recorded what they did right? Since that is a big secret? OR DID they somehow record it and Geoffery was actually one of the few in the know? Perhaps he never looked at the documents? WHY WOULD YOU RECORD IT?

If Nimueh was indeed court sorceress perhaps Uther doesnt want Arthur to be able to look at the records and see OH dad had a court sorceress that escaped just after I was born!

I'm KINDA a bit stumped here UNLESS

the line "I know neither of us wants to remember that time" Okay sure it could be Geoferry just doesnt want to remember all the people dying. BUT could it mean he was into magic too? Or had a loved one who was into magic? Was he actually IN on Arthurs birth too? Or told about it. DID THEY ACTUALLY RECORD THAT SHIT? WHY? I think they possably actually recorded it. It makes the most sence because storywise this could then be another hint at the mystery of Arthur's birth that is a bit of a focus this season and is being built up.

Okay Angels are not pagan at ALL. they are christian/jewish/muslim (and a few others) So we have a point towoerd at elast one of those being comon place in the merlin world. I know some fans debate camalot being some form of early christian which is why I am paying attention to all these little religion things.

My currant working theory is that there is a weirdly pagan or pagan-ajasent version of christianity that is left over from when the romans where in control. And has had a long time to blend with the traditional godess religion/culture in isolation of other christian sects. Thus a "New Religon" existing.

This is what he says giving over the records. Which okay? I mean they both likley already know what is inside. but I guess disobeying a direct order from Uther can be a death sentance? I feel like there is somthing I am missing.

I think him mentioning this is really intersting. BECAUSE the dreams are not gonna stop. He has no reason to think they will stop. So by implying they were a warning for her condition. So either he plans to bring the condition back, Or is counting on the fact he is not going to stay for too long. He can chalk them up to her recovering sure. but eventually she will recover. Just an intersting hint that he knows he will not be staying too long.

Gaius: I often wondered what happened to that poor young boy

Edwin: I told you we've never met before

Gaius: I didn't realize who you were until I check the records you used your mother's maiden name. You are Gregor and Jaden's Son

Edwin: They were freinds of yours.

Gaius: They were sorceres

Edwin: They practiced magic, so did a lot of people back them Gaius.

Gaius: Uther will be furrius when he finds out who you are

Edwin: Fine, Fine shall we tell him? lets go tell him. Lets tell him, Lets tell him everything ooh! I know we could also tell him about Merlin?

Gaius: merlin?"

Edwin: you didn't know he was a sorcerer? Tsk, ahhh I wonder what Uther will do. Problubly have him burned? Gaius: you would betray another sorccerer

Edwin: You did when you turned a blind eye and let my parents die at the hands of Uther. At least Merlin doesnt have a son that will try to rescue him from the flames? Okay first of all going back to my post on episode one I wonder if a last name means noble. If so its intersting because Uther did not reconize a noble family because a maiden name was used. Or hes not and last names are a fluke. Also although Gaius later reveals that his parents practiced dark magic he did not bring it up here. Or deny he was freinds with them. Possably because he knew it would not convince Edwin? And not everyone who practiced magic back then (A lot of people) could have used dark magic. This is the first time we realize that Gaius was essentully a colaborater. Its not a good look for him. Not only did he choose to let his freinds die to stick by Uther. HE IS STILL trying to protect Uther. But he is willing to give up Uther to protect Merlin. And is later revealed to have saved Alice. So some part of me wonders how close of freinds they could have been? One thing I wonder is if Gaius actually agreed with Uther on a level. Perhaps there were a lot of people abusing magic. (As hinted at in episode one) So he actually thinks magic is often bad and often corrupts. (To be clear I'm not excusing his behavior.) This is why he is so hesitant to let Morgana know about her magic. And he is so strict with Merlin and his. "Its not good or bad its how you use it." But a lot of people give into power and use it for bad? Is this his view?

I know a lot of people equate magic with being born diferant. I do too. Its part of why I relate to Merlin so much. But it seems like for some people in the merlin world it is less who they are and a means of Power for good or ill. (For others they are totally born with it) It does give people power others do not have (Just like being royalty does for example) I am a firm beliver of the idea that power reveals. And we see this a lot in Merlin, both in the choices Uther VRS Arthur make. and in the choices diferant sorcerers make. Back on topic I'm trying to understand why Gaius makes the choices he does. And I think the most likley thing is the man on some level ACTUALLY is afraid of magic and its capacity to currupt which he has seen a lot of and thus supports Uther one some level, perhaps this is even subconcious.

Again this is Tumblr so I need to make clear I DO NOT THINK HE IS IN THE RIGHT HERE. Gaius if this is true is missing HUGE Aspects he should take into consiteration. And the purge? the things Uther did? Just no!

This is intersting because there were not many developments in real medieval time. Another sigh there medical knowlage is very diferant in the Merlin World AND I'm cutting off here. Party because I accidenly posted partly because there is SO MUCH LORE! I will come with part 2 soon!

[psychopompsglomps]

followed by a math girl 😵‍💫😍 i have so much respect for u + ur people (mathematicians) i still dont rly get what a negative nukmber is. teach me a fun math fact pleeeaassee (even tho we arent friends yet ur bio made me so curious)

ooh hehe 1. i should probably update my intro im aconite and im more of a cat than a person or girl nowadays tho still in the area of girl

2. no one ever takes me up on that hehe :3

soooo if that's ur level im gonna assume ur joking but also my first idea for a "relatively low level" thing was induction versus strong induction, which is a Fundamentals of Proofs sorta topic which is! easy enough but functions in a context u likely have no experience in!

so instead im gonna pull up some dates for understanding of 0 and the creation of negatives and such!

first of all tho the fun thing to remember is:

the greeks? those bitches never even dreamt of 0. Pythagoras, Plato with his solids and his platonic ideals? they couldn't even tolerate the barest idea that we could numerically represent an absence, a null, with such a clever and useful tool as 0.

the romans aren't even worth mentioning. i could do an aside about the greeks and irrational numbers but i think u might be starting to realize how rambly i am already ^-^

there are ancient uses of symbols to represent similar ideas to 0, but the oldest proper 0, naught, that we have record of is from the Mayans and probably Olmecs as well, and apparently we have records dated to ~36 bce of that! babylonians had a *placeholder 0,* which the greeks adopted, but that was really just for writing out long numbers, like 101, where it simply represents an absence in the enumeration of digits, nyea? the greeks and romans did start to use their placeholder 0 in astronomical calculations and such but nor in formal mathematics so much, still as the additive identity (the extremely convenient property of not changing a value when added to it) but not so much for its other useful properties (everything going to it when multiplied by it, for instance).

china also had a placeholder 0 for a long while

but where we started seeing 0 used as an actual, proper number that we can do math on is in india, then it travelled via islamic scholarship around. apparently the word root for algorithm is from the persian scholar Muhammad ibn Musa Al-Khwarizmi, whose multiplication tables in the 800s ce came to be known in the european powers in the 1100s under the latin title "algorithmi de numero Indorum." so 0 took a long time to spread but really did revolutionize math everywhere it was used.

it's weird and difficult to explain just how much of modern mathematics rests entirely on the concept of 0 as an identity, but it really does!

anyways negatives are an abstraction and they were made to represent subtracting an amount, they're very useful numbers in their own right as a result but that's literally the whole idea. -1 is what you would need to add to 1 to achieve the goal of subtracting and reaching 0, since subtraction was very much invented before negatives :3

one of my favorite numerical bases is base -2, as in u count the digits as 1, -2, 4, -8, 16, -32 etc. very cutesy, forms a legitimate and intensely annoying counting system, practically useless as such but can be helpful to think about

[yujeong]

For all the time I've been losing my mind over Pete's tattoo (to the point of getting it tattooed on my own fucking body), I've never really talked about it here, have I? Well. Let me do it now I guess.

The first thing I would like to present here is the origins of Pete's tattoo from the novels. I know, I know, the novels suck and I wasn't proud of including it in Trust is a fragile thing but it was compelling enough that it fit Pete's characterization. A broken clock shows the correct time twice a day or however the phrase goes. Apparently, Tankhun forced all his bodyguards to get tattoos at some point, and Pete got that one for reasons I'm not aware of. I've heard people say that Daemi found the phrase nice and tbh, I believe those people. The purpose of its usage becomes clear in this snippet taken directly from the novels:

(I can go on a whole ass rant about what we're witnessing here, but I'll spare you the headache.) So, what is the actual origin of the phrase? For the people who don't already know, it's from "All's Well that Ends Well", a play written by Shakespeare. It's about a woman who's given in marriage to the man she longs for, but, because she is of lower rank, he refuses to accept the marriage. The phrase, as always with Shakespeare, has more than one meaning and shouldn't be taken at face value. I had found a wonderful analysis about it here:

I find it fascinating how it works with Pete so well, despite Daemi being oblivious to its true meaning. I also find the fact that it works for Pete no matter how you interpret the phrase, equally fascinating. You can take it literally and connect it with Pete's job; how he's honest about the violence he inflicts, the activity he's enacting for the Theerapanyakuls, how he's accepted the nature of it, how "there are no heroes or villains in this world" and so on. You can add his loyalty in there too and make it even juicier. You can also take it ironically and connect it with Pete as a person; how he's not actually honest - he's not open about himself, his desires, his feelings - so with this, it's like he's admitting that he has no legacy. It encapsulates his lack of personhood and it's fucking brilliant. Him sneering at Vegas slightly when he told him "There's no such thing as honesty in this world" after seeing the tattoo on Pete still gives me brainworms, because both of them are thinking of different things here. To me, Pete is thinking of the literal sense which I described above, while Vegas is talking about how people are deceitful and will just lie through their teeth to get what they want (like him). I don't know if that's what the intention was, but them having completely different concepts in mind is something I believe strongly. Now, one very, very important aspect of Pete's tattoo is its position. In the novels, it's on his chest, more specifically on his left side, where his heart is:

Not so subtle, Daemi, huh? The show changed that, as we all saw, and ooohhh what a glorious choice, I love it so much. For a couple of reasons:

The position is more sexual, which contradicts Pete's seeming naivety in regards to sex and romance in the show (proof being, every interaction he had with Porsche, plus the infamous "Kissing is for people we like only"), making everything he and Vegas did in ep12 not come out of nowhere.

It's super fucking low. Obviously it is, given it's his hip but I implore you to look more carefully at the screenshot I shared above, because the distance between his belly button and his tattoo rivals Kinn's open shirts. Istg you can see faint hints of pubic hair right below "No legacy", I swear I see it I'm not insane.

The tattoo being so low means Pete will only be able to see it when naked. I say only naked because even with only his underwear on, it's still hidden. Almost like it's something he'd want to hide even from himself, hmmm curious.

Another fun thing about the tattoo, which kind of applies to both the novel and the show, is the fact that, since it's a phrase, Pete will not be able to read it unless he looks in a mirror and sees the reflection (something I realized by wanting to read my own lol). Alas, another barrier Pete puts on himself to prevent introspection. (I will not touch upon mirrors here, but Pete and mirrors oooohh, what a concept I would love to explore one day.) I could talk about this all day, but I think I got the main points across. I lovelovelove this so much and I'd love to see if there are more analyses of Pete's tattoo out there. Please bring them to my attention if you have them.

[outeremissary]

Oooh how about telling us a little about The Thousand Mile Fall? 👀

Thank you Ash and @bearvanhelsing for asking!

I want to begin by apologizing- I suspect you were looking for Tristian, but this is the single BG3 thing that was on the list. Jay, idk where you stand on discourse game of the year, but Ash, I know that you're not a fan and have been working on distance. I'm placing the rest under a cut. You can read it or not read it. Either thing is fine with me.

As compensation: the one actual Kingmaker ask I got on this (sorry it's not a flashy one), or a PF2e one about Kasander/Asperia.

Still with me? Thank you, I appreciate it!! Let's see to what degree I'm willing to bare my soul before I get too embarrassed and awkwardly trail off.

Ah: DUrge spoiler warning. And content warning: DUrgetash (sorry)

So! The Thousand Mile Fall, something which was only just starting to go beyond planning (and originally planning for a comic) when my laptop committed die. I was really interested in the concept of the Dark Urge as a character who was always framed as having fallen from grace, and who had also fallen from a state of divinity. The liminal state excited me, and we all know how I feel about a horrible someone who's a horrible failure of an angel. Horrible failure of a demigod occupies a similar space. I think the nature of that failure- that fall- began to occupy me quite a bit, since I had a strong concept for Asperia from very, very early on in my playthrough (long before I knew anything besides the DUrge plot besides that they were a Bhaalspawn, even before I had become convinced Kasander and Asperia existed simultaneously) and at the heart of Asperia was someone who was infallible and convinced of their invincibility- maybe rightly so.

So, this story is set only a bit before the game and is meant to unpick the loss of that perfect favor- in my mind, the loss of Asperia's "godhood," something which is stolen twice. The second and definitive loss is of course to Orin in a singular act of violence, but Orin's path to victory was opened by the slow and insidious poison of having known Enver Gortash. In a "the bar is in hell" turn of things, their... acquaintanceship is the closest thing Asperia has ever experienced to a normal relationship and a normal life. And that glimpse of the other side is what unmakes her. It's always been crucial to Asperia's role in the system to be the one who loves being Bhaal's beloved child, who can reconcile anything with belonging, who buys in so fully that it is unthinkable to be less than a god and it is unthinkable to have desires besides those of a god. Others hold the questions, the fear, the other desires- Kasander and Bride especially- but Asperia wants nothing else in life, and Asperia believes with painful, self-destructive fervor.

Asperia has already been acquainted with Gortash for some good while here, the wheels turning in the scheme of the Absolute. This is the longest positive relationship of any kind Asperia has ever had outside of whatever pseudo-parental thing he has with Scleritas, and it has been wonderful: novel, collaborative, a meeting with someone who resembles an equal despite being a mere mortal. Asperia has begun to see other facets of the world through this, to see the ways the world of the living comes together for purposes besides inevitable execution. It's all an act of devotion, all furthering the will of Bhaal, all what Asperia desires and wants to do. But the further it's gone the more it's started to be fun for its own sake too, and a certain fascination with a frenemy has begun to blossom into dangerous fantasies.

Asperia doesn't fantasize. Asperia can't fantasize. Asperia is a god, and he only wants things which are real and deserved. Bhaal's favor is proof of that: Orin's ugly, messy desires make her a worse worshiper, and she's never had their divine father's love. Asperia is Bhaal's beloved. Asperia is defined by her distance from those mistakes. And so too is Asperia the perfect disciple, a being beyond sin. If something is what Asperia wants, then it must be acceptable.

And this is how Asperia begins to lose Bhaal's favor.

Asperia starts the story at a personal high and only rising- with the world at her fingertips and Bhaal's love behind her, she's preparing for the victory lap and has taken an extra prize in becoming more intimately involved with Gortash. But you can't have your cake and eat it too- this impossible personal high the seed of Asperia's ruin, already sown, takes root and begins to grow. Bhaal's perfect killing machine doesn't play house with Bane's Chosen. And there are more than enough people who fucking hate Asperia already and are ready to take note- as well as Gortash himself, so much older and colder than young, sheltered Asperia. There may be some genuine affection there in some form, but calculation and power take precedent, as does the enjoyment of solving this Bhaalspawn puzzle by picking her apart.

Over time the increasingly clear dissonance between the impossible misalignment- the first Asperia has ever experienced- between what they want and what Bhaal allows them to desire and have drives them to spiral into a state of exceptional vulnerability that ultimately allows Orin to usurp them. The escalating stress causes them to lose time more and more frequently, beyond what they can explain away to themself and make disappear, and they begin to doubt themself. To fear what is happening, and to develop their own doubts about Bhaal- things that should live elsewhere, things that cause other parts to bubble up in ways they notice. Asperia is straying and rivals like Orin can see it, is becoming less dependable and reluctant allies like Ketheric can see it, is becoming a less than perfect disciple and that butler shepherd of Bhaal can see it (not that every part was always perfect- Scleritas has always known that "Asperia" is more than just Asperia, and has long pitted Asperia against themself). And Asperia is vulnerable and open and easier and easier to see- and Gortash, who has solved the part of this puzzle Asperia refuses to see quite well, sees it all and drives the spiral deeper. Pulls Asperia closer, and begins to learn the others without letting Asperia know (this is a piece of how Kasander knows Gortash, has known Gortash before anything).

So y'know. It's all heading for inevitable tragedy, heartbreak, ruin, bad feelings, and a tadpole in the head, as well as a shitty asshole boyfriend conspiring with one's sister who has been waiting for ages for the change to REALLY wreck one's shit. Yikes! Feel like not enough was spent on the family drama and that's sold Orin short, but she's played a damn active hand through it all. Sacrificial Orin, always underestimated, always overlooked, always surviving.

I dunno how to conclude this and I feel like I probably talked too long (half just to remember things I can't access until the new laptop arrives and is set up). All in all, just a fun little project to play with while I continue to fail to finish the last teeny bit of the actual goddamn game (I'm the worst at wrapping up the last little dregs of things after I've cleaned up the most fun stuff).

TLDR: Asperia, main character of life, starts to Lose the Plot and gets written out of the story for a little while

[trekkele]

If Alfred really did put up the memorial case to punish Bruce that would be insanely cruel of him. Why do you think Bruce didn't say anything if we go with your version? And what does Bruce say once Dick confronts him about it, thinking this is another one of Bruce's bad coping mechanisms instead of Alfred's actions? How does their parent/employee and son/employer relationship change after this? Does it at all? Did Bruce just lie down and take it, blaming himself again and thinking he's right to be punished? Does he agree with Alfred that he doesn't deserve to forget even for a second? (Not that he could). Does anybody else know about this??? Dick, Babs, Tim, Leslie or someone?

I'm genuinely curious and interested in this idea and I hope I didn't come across as rude because that wasn't my intention. Would you like to talk more about it? What are your thoughts about these questions?

Hi i actually love all these questions i just have this terrible disease called overthinking my answers to asks and then forgetting to actually answer them!!! So this is going to be a mess, but answered.

Now the fact that Alfred put up the memorial case is something i always thought was canon in the original elseworlds (The Dark Knight Returns) that it originated from, but when i went to look for proof recently i couldn’t find it. So its one of those things where i genuinely dont know if i imagined that or i just cant remember where to look.

Bruce wouldn’t confront Alfred over it because if theres one thing shown consistently in canon its that Alfred has a terrible time respecting Bruces boundaries and decisions if he disagrees with them. Some of this can be reasonable - Bruce does have a very dangerously hobby! And some of this is just bullshit “i raised you so now i can do and say what i want” parenting. So i think Bruce would say nothing because it would accomplish nothing, despite the cave being his space, and also because he has a guilt complex so big he probably thinks he deserves to be confronted with his “failure” every time he’s down there.

I dont think he would tell Dick who put the memorial up for similar reasons - Alfred is one of the people i think Dick had contact with even when he wasnt talking to Bruce, which means if Bruce pushes them apart by revealing what Alfred did, he could risk one of the few stable connections Dick still has to Gotham. And i dont think he would do that, if Dick was already mad at him anyways.

I dont think anyone knows about who put the case up. Remember, at this point Bruce is living alone in the manor with Alfred, and the case is already up (presumably) when Tim starts, Leslie rarely comes down there, and Babs was still recovering from her own Joker attack (which chronologically happened before Jason died). So no. If anyone would know it would be Clark or Diana, because Clark would see how Bruce’s hands shake every time he brushes by it and Diana would ask if this was truly a memorial fitting for Robin, and then realize Bruce wasnt looking at it like someone who chose to see that every day.

And yeah, its very cruel on Alfreds part. It shows a deep misunderstanding of Bruce and his ideals and mission as well, which is fascinating when you take it together with Alfreds encouragement and enabling of Robin as a position, and his constant heckling of Batman as a concept. I think Alfred views Batman, on some level, as a disappointment to the Wayne Legacy. Even if he didnt put it up to punish Bruce in particular, (which is the harshest possible reading, i admit) it is still cruel!

Idk its a fun little concept to play around with isnt it

[hollowsart]

I had to make the Morbius variant of Acedia into its own post, but here's some funny concepts n stuff I came up with while working on her with a friend.

Warning for topics with slight discussion and mentions of blood and vampirism.. cuz this is about a vampire lol

enjoy my thought process minus my friend's input that helped with a little back-and-forth to come up with this stuff:

------------

tfw you're just trying to get some fruit, but this weird ominous looking older man doesn't hesitate when he sees you holding the last perfect honey crisp apple in the whole store.

goth as a subculture apparently didn't exist until the 80s in the UK with the introduction of a specific genre of music. the subculture itself is just heavily music based. it's not fashion based, although most who listen to the music will end up wearing clothes that reflect the music or the styles of those who made the music.

But that's not to say Old Man Morbius couldn't dress very dated and have a more victorian style of dress. gives him that "gothic" look

he stands out from the rest of society at the time in the 50s and he doesn't do much outside of getting necessities and then going back to his penthouse.

there were rumors that he was a vampire, mostly from the younger crowds and some older folks who loved to gossip. Acedia didn't believe it, thought it was rude to spread such things about people without any real proof…. but it didn't stop her from feeling nervous.

boi howdy was she wrong to think he wasn't a vampire.

He followed her from the store and dragged her into an alley and attacked…. taking the dang apple she bought as he fled.

Acedia hating the taste of blood, but the vampire-ness is CRAVING IT.

I think we need a better explanation for "LIVING vampire" as currently, vampirism technically means you're kinda dead tbh. you're dead and you're reanimated differently than a zombie.

I did have a concept where vampires can still eat and drink other things besides JUST blood.

They can eat raw meats and possibly blood sausages, too. they lean a bit further into being carnivorous, but they're not cannibals (not to say there isn't at least one or two vampires who may or may not have gone cannibalistic due to some kind of trauma, but y'know--)

Vampires can go out during the day, but they require coverage from the sun. umbrellas, extra long gloves, big ole hats with massive brims. pants, long sleeves, long dress, etc.

most tend to be nocturnal, but will go diurnal if necessary or for any number of reasons they may have for being awake during the daytime. (like keeping up appearances and trying not to seem so out of place to the regular humans they live around)

AS IF I DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE A SUPER SENSITIVE NOSE AS IS

Morbius!Acedia is a silly fun "non villain" addition to this whole sinistersona concept.

she has no desire to cause harm and, much like Earth-4622's Morbius, she is more of a street-level hero. She uses this for good, not evil. and has her own issues to deal with outside of that world's "Spider-Man"

Acedia: (airhead extraordinaire)

you're not special, Morbius.

me, who knows I'm hungry and should get something to eat yet is still sitting there taking +1 damage every 3 minutes that I'm NOT getting up to get food: …….maybe.. I already AM a living vampire? ..just without the desire to drink blood?

me meeting Morbius and he's like "I haven't had blood in 3 days, I am going to kill someone--"

me: ? only 3 days? the last time I had blood was uhh… 4? 5? days ago?

Morbius: Morbius, now feeling terrified, knowing I'm a variant of him: ….How are you still speaking to me?

me: I have other means of food that tastes better than blood. smells better, too.

I get hungry fast, but I still sit there and tolerate the pain. sometimes I'll drink something to kill the hunger pains. that helps me pass the time.

[rootvegetableboy]

cm dev log #9 - july 2024

i think july might’ve been my most productive month yet! i really surprised myself with how much i achieved. it’s really satisfying proof that development is only getting faster & smoother the longer i go on :]

some really really exciting stuff implemented, including but not limited to…

new mechanics!

a surge/dodge mechanic has been added! press the spacebar to avoid incoming attacks! you can use this both directionally for a boost of speed, or while standing still to become invulnerable to damage for 15 whole frames. woah!!!

healing flask!! fuck everything else i’ve said in every log, good game design is all about beautiful potions. like all good potion ui, you get a little visual of your flask emptying:

reworking older systems!

i’m currently in the midst of reworking my save/load system! i’m not going to say too much, because… it’s one of the main hooks of my game… but it’s going real swell. i only have to do one more thing before this is in a workable state, which is:

i need to create a new in-game menu system from scratch =_=

this is something i’ve known was coming for a while, but i find coding UI pretty annoying sometimes, so i’ve been putting it off. the current in-game menu isn’t up to par with the artistic style of everything else, so i want to re-do it. i also plan on separating out the save/load menu from the in-game menu.

HOWEVER! i was able to do a successful collisions/hitbox rework this month in its entirety! this is huge, it’s an issue i noticed in january and has been bothering me all year!! it’s kind of hard to explain this one, so let me whip out some visual aids:

the dark rectangle around her feet is her collision box; when i write code that references a collision with the player, it’s checking for a collision with that box. such as… collisions with walls! or furniture! having it just around her feet is what allows me to fake a 3D look with only 2D art, so she can stand/walk in front of walls and objects and it doesn’t look horribly strange.

if her collision box included her head, she would stop moving as soon as the top of her sprite touched the bottom of the wall.. it would look and feel very odd!

but, you can immediately see where this becomes a problem when enemy bullets are checking for a collision with the player. she would get shot in the head and just like, be fine, it would go right through her…

i had the same problem with one of the enemies i’ve implemented, where i wanted to figure out a way to have both the collision box that comes with the sprite and a differently shaped hitbox. i hunted through a lot of forum posts for the best way to do it, but ultimately decided on what i personally thought to be the most “elegant” solution:

an entirely separate invisble object that follows all of the player’s exact movements and handles all of the player’s health and taken damage. (that’s all it does: the player object got to keep all its other code.)

i actually have no idea if this is optimal! but it works, and i got it working with minimal effort. it was a little trickier figuring out how to apply this concept to enemies, but i was able to write a little script so that every enemy i place in a room will spawn its own hitbox object. task complete!! the 3D illusion is secure and i can still maintain expected combat logic.

actual game content!

ah, finally…! after 9 months of development, the first miniboss is here…!!!

like a lot of things in game dev, you never really think about how much goes into a boss fight until you make one… but i had So Much Fun crafting this. im absolutely buzzing with ideas for future fights!

so, this all included: a small arena, pre-fight dialogue that automatically triggers when walking into said arena, barrier objects that appear during the fight so you can’t escape, and associated save/load scripts so that the boss doesn’t respawn if you leave the room and go back in. as for the miniboss herself, she gets her own special health bar with her name attached, and a state machine that cycles through three different attacks until she dies. (i haven’t coded player death yet lol)

some miscellanious stuff!

you may have noticed if you watched the video above, but i’ve changed the aspect ratio from 4:3 to 16:9. i like the nostalgia of a 4:3 but… i think with the way combat is emerging, the experience only benefits from the added screen space. you get a lot more room to see, and thus more time to react.

i’m finally starting on implementing music!! it’s getting atmospheric, babey!!! i’ve also got a little list of sfx that needs doing and i’m stoked to get started on it. video above doesn’t contain any sound because, i have not written a boss theme for her yet, and i didn’t want it to just be the shooting/damage sounds… i promise i am thinking a lot about sounds. and i can’t wait to dive into vcv rack to whip some up!!

i finally set up a github source control. files are secured. every other hobbyist dev should do this way earlier than i did

i’m proud, i did a lot! ^_^ i really want people to be able to playtest the miniboss fight soon—currently i plan on having one available to those interested in a couple of months! i have no idea how hard it actually is and i need some different eyes on it asap, so please let me know if that’s something you would be interested in :]

signing off for now… have a good august, everyone!

[injunade]

black mirror episode scores by me:

s1 e1: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

interesting way to present the series. has a very banskish way of being mysterious with this fucked up twists. It feeds you the crumbs of what will be next; not very in tune with the rest of the series.

s1 e2: ☆ ☆ ☆

I didnt like it. I gave it a chance twice, but is just not my thing. I think that, overall, the whole episode is fine. it makes its point, but I dont like the execution. also the bright colors of the screens makes it very difficult for me to watch. I know its to make the viewer overwhelmed, but still.

Is not really bad, but not my cup of tea at all.

s1 e3: ☆ ☆ ☆

Alright... rather boring and long. good concept. better executed in later episodes; for this reason is rather skipable.

s2 e1: ☆ ☆ ☆

its good... but a bit bland. it could have had a better conflict. that woman was way to sane, I think it needed a squizo turn.

s2 e2: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

damn perfect. I love it so much. interesting as fuck concept, very well executed. I love the liminal space "last of us" sort of vibe. amazing plot twist, not see it coming at all. masterpice.

unnecessary highlight: the girl with the hunter hat is so cute, thanks for that too.

s2 e3: ?????

I cant put stars because I coudnt end it. I find it to be a very bad episode from the beginning, especially after being exposed to the previous episode.

s2 e4: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

there are some parts that I find a bit off, but very nice. Im not sure about the idea of consciousness in an ai to help you out... it seems very forceful,

boys are just having fun with their writing I guess. I do like the concept of direct consciousness in a replicate reality, seems more down to earth. I do find it possible to make people able to see and experience something like dreams in a shared space.

anyway, I did liked it a lot. there are better ones but its basically objectively good.

s3 e1: ☆

anyone. and I mean anyone, even 8-years-olds, could have come up with the plot of this episode.

the pastel aesthethics are almost as painful as the screens in s1 e2. I dont like how is directed, I dislike the main character before and after character development. this episode was a mistake.

s3 e2: ☆ ☆

very fogetable, in fact I almost cant remember it.

the idea is good and I love psychological horror and games but this episode could have been a masterpice and is just ...there.

Also dont put americans in black mirror, sorry not sorry (this was the biggining of evil).

s3 e3: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

fucking masterpice out of a masterpice. fucking top tier plotwist. it has everything, that actor from "the end of the fucking world" who is an out of this world actor, action, suspense, its funny, it has hacking used in a very terrifing and arguable way, it has radiohead (fits like a glove and hits like a truck).

it lets you thinking "the fuck!? really?...but... for real?"

top tier concept. I just love cancel concepts. yeah... feed me those.

s3 e4: ☆ ☆ ☆

Its bad but is good. I will keep saying it: keep americans out of this.

corny, cute, actually made me cry (I think). Obviously based on that viral tumblr 80s pic of two girls playing in an arcade. the person who wrote this has a tumblr account, I dont have proofs neither doubts.

Its an okey experience... (medio goma). but okey, I cant score it with less than 3 stars. Is good.

s3 e5: ?????

I hate action whatever. I coudnt watch it. looks cliché.

s3 e6: ????

ohhhhh.... looks interesting as hell but actually didnt watched it. It was very complex and I just wanted to eat while seeing som light at the time lol.

s4 e1: ☆ ☆

very forgetable, in fact I almost cant rember it fully.

kinda whatever.

s4 e2: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

fuck... this episode. very dark, very on point. terrifing.

this has lit has happened to me. very well writen plot and characters, very real. painful to watch.

s4 e3: ☆ ☆

dense ass episode. Its okey... but it was really difficult for me to end the episode. I just coudnt connect, I didnt care the slightest about the characters. felt like a waiste of time, but I know is not that bad.

s4 e4: ☆ ☆ ☆

It was okey, has this filler episode vibe. It didnt bore me to death, so here you have your three stars.

s4 e5: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

I liked it quite a lot. very engaging and I really like apocalypse stories, so yeah. nice.

something about the ending tho...

s4 e6: ☆ ☆ ☆

the atmosphere is nice, I liked the mysterious touch.

could be better... a bit weak. but would watch it again.

black mirror bandersnatch: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

interactive movie? yes.

cool concept, good plot, good acting.

could have been better? ...yes.

(oh, but you didnt... yes. I did play different endings, bitch)

[thebestcrew]

Me, every time I think more and more about having OSDD and exactly how far back it may actually go.

I know for a FACT late in life trauma absolutely affected my sense of self and plurality. That's a given. It also took my neurodivergancy up quite a few notches, but that's another story.

I also know I got a lot of things from childhood that I've been realizing over the past few years where actually traumatic, and I've got a whole bag full of trauma responses as proof. Doesn't mean it gave me a CDD, but I can't deny trauma is there at the very least.

But I also know that without a doubt, the plurality I was experiencing prior to my later trauama was entirely an endogenic experience. Every single interaction matches up with what we currently know about plurality outside of CDDs.

So. Once I get to finally sharing all our "lore" with someone who can accurately diagnose what's going on up in this skull, and if it turns out they think I've had a CDD prior to my late 20s, I still don't think I'd ever drop the mixed origin label. Because the plurality I was experiencing back then vs now is still wildly different. I don't think its ableist of me to think this way because it would be more ableist of me to assume that someone with a CDD can't also experience concepts like the multiple selves theory, Jungian archetypes, or creative muses. The sense of self and how we interact with our own understanding of the self and subconscious is not limited to if you do or do not have a CDD. Sure, things become wildly more complex with a CDD, but I wouldn't say it's impossible to still experience endogenic plurality in a pure state before or after a CDD becomes fully apparent or alters develop. I don't think it's wrong to use both to describe your system or plural experience as a whole. Origins are honestly stupid to debate over. I just like being able to share and relate with others. Talking about how endogenic and traumagenic plurality can coexist brings me a lot of dopamine and gets my little fox brain doing the silly thing like in the gif. It's simply, fun.

People don't have to use labels. I just want to stop seeing people throw out how ableist it is to use a label that best matches an experience. Are people just pissed at the label? Or are people pissed at the implications? Or just pissed at seeing different experiences? Why can't we just have nice discussions? I LOVE seeing similar experiences to mine on Tumblr and I don't give a damn on what label they choose to use. I just want discussions on similarities, differences, what helps, what doesn't, and the ilk. Discussions bring about progress and understanding. Hate don't do shit.

[mdhwrites]

Ok i was thinking more about the ending of TOH... i suddenly noticed the whole 'human and witch colab society' thing, and its... its so bad? where did this even come from?

did the writers really just dump a 'oh by the way the witches are going to try make friendly contact with the humans, you know, even though witches have voiced digust or superiority to humans, or even though humans are incredibly vicious to anything different and would 100% wage war in a millisecond??'

Like that is such a HUGE FUCKING plot point to just TACK ON at the last 5 minutes with zero reference to this outside of a one off line from gus in the palismen ep???? why is this show that i love written so randomly?!

*goes to get some rope to pull you back with* I... don't get the outrage with this one. It's a harmless element in the finale that implies things are going to get better. It's a throwaway line or background element or whatever it is and it's something that a lot of finales for shows like these are theoretically going to do. It's harmless fun that plays into the fantasy that everything will be okay for the characters. ... Okay but I do actually have a complaint of my own. Not really with the concept of human/witch relations. I don't care whatsoever with that. Again, it's purely throwaway. If it was anything else, Gus might have been a real character or been given some real respect in the finale by going to human world to study. It's more that... Why bother? When is the next time Luz is going to go back to the Human Realm to do anything besides say hi to her mom? Like outside of witches fucking humans and getting to pretend that your own witch will step through the portal and date you, what is the point of even gesturing towards this bit of fluff? Usually it's to imply that peace is achievable or that the fantastical and reality are coming together. Who cares with TOH though? The Isles is barely different from our world besides their denizens having magic. Luz's story is absolutely not about peace BETWEEN worlds. It's just about being happy in her fantasy. When is she even going to bother going home after all? At best, she'll do it to see her mom but that's pretty much it. She has no reason to go home. No reason to find harmony or peace. It's kind of a running issue for me with the finale that I'm not really sure why they bothered with the portal door. Outside of allowing for a SPECK of an ability to say this isn't pure wish fulfillment (which frankly I'd argue the twin worlds life still is maximum thrust on that) and not leaving Vee homeless... What's the point? Do any of the witches have an interest in the human realm? Outside of the dude who has a human fetish, no. Does Luz have any interest in it? No. Will King be going to the human realm? No. So who is spearheading this program? People who see Amity and go "I want to be that! Married to a human!" The human world matters so little, and contrasting against it has meant so little to the show, that I just don't get why they even bothered including classic nods of fluff. If you're going to be dumb fun, be dumb fun. Be over the top and silly, especially if you're going to curb stomp your themes besides "You're special" for your finale anyways? But... TOH wants to be smart. It has no idea how to be smart but it wants to be so it's not going to have the fun it should. So honestly, why not get mad at the fluff? The show wants to claim better than that anyways so its audience is trained to ask these sorts of questions. This ask is literal proof that TOH shoots itself in the foot by trying to claim to be better than other things because it means it can't just have some fluff, even when it's warranted. Not when it would mock other shows for the exact same elements. ========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[ae-neon]

Reading Throne of Glass (4-9)

Again. I'm nitpicking, it's just how I enjoy a lot of my media. Overall I'm still giving the story a fair chance. (Except the Nehemia plotline)

Chapter 4

Really great opening paragraph, like honestly so good.

Proof sjm once understood that starvation would decrease breast size. Also proof that misogyny rots the brain cause god forbid Nesta didn't look hot enough for Cassian to fuck during her depressive breakdown.

Sorry, back to tog.

This chapter is great, amazing even.

Everything from Celaena falling asleep on the floor cause the bed feels too different after her horrible year in the mines

-> her reaction to sunlight and the small bits of hope she has

-> her figuring out a way to kill Chaol every 15 minutes.

-> her solemn reaction to the fact that no one else would be leaving the mines in anyway except death.

The scene with the dogs was nice. I like the interaction and characterization going on between these 3 main characters.

The scenery and worldbuilding is good too. We have Ellwye, the West, Wendlyn, The Witch Kingdom, the East, Endovier, Ardalan and Rifthold all mentioned and somewhat defined within narrative context. No info dumping, just small relevant tidbits.

Okay so Celaena is 18, Dorian is 20, Chaol is 22.

It's almost shocking how reasonable sjm used to be.

Celaena's a little crazy but it's fun sometimes. She says she's trying to get under Chaol's skin but she's the one saying he's not very nice and being bothered when he doesn't engage with her.

22 is much better than I thought. But he honestly has to be not only the best swordsman in the country but also a very high up, well connected young lord to be Captain of the Royal Guard.

Me and Celaena locked in, fr. She clocked him as a Lord.

Also characters with a strong sense of justice >>>>> another 5 points for Chaol.

Top tier chapter overall.

Chapter 5

The forest scene is cool. King Brannon. 2000 years ago. Fae. Hope this plays a big role.

If the Fae are just gonna be dudes who run around the same as humans (with pointy ears and magic) why make them immortal? I don't think sjm really comprehends the concept or how otherworldly it really is.

She knew plenty about this forest, knew that the denizens of this place had once been faeries: gnomes, sprites, nymphs, goblins, more names than anyone could count or remember. All ruled by their larger, human-like cousins, the immortal Fae—the original inhabitants and settlers of the continent, and the oldest beings in Erilea.

Just say Elves, I beg of you

Okay but surely the King of Ardalan, aka Dorian Senior, banning magic and making it disappear is an act of magic itself? Like unless bro is god, the simple act of banning magic would not erase its existence.

The King of Adarlan had outlawed it all—magic, Fae, faeries—and removed any trace so thoroughly that even those who had magic in their blood almost believed it had never really existed, Celaena herself being one of them.

This all just happened within the last maximum 30 years. She herself just told us Fae are immortal. How the fuck would they forget they ever had magic? There are humans old enough to still remember.

"It had been a while since she’d contemplated the gifts she’d lost, though the memory of her abilities haunted her dreams." okay so it's happened only in the last 10 years??? That means everyone still remembers. Why not just write that Celaena could barely remember instead of implying it was a common thing.

Still really like her descriptions of the forest and of the faeries.

I'm guessing gnomes left her flowers. We'll probably never see them again.

Chapter 6

Icy rain kept them company for four days, during which time Celaena was so miserably cold that she contemplated throwing herself into a ravine, hopefully dragging Chaol with her.

Her dedication to murdering him is quite endearing, I fear

The weather hits for me rn because it's autumn here too.

...the Crown Prince pulled out of line and came trotting toward them, his dark hair bouncing. His red cape rose and fell in a crimson wave. Above his unadorned white shirt was a fine cobalt-blue jerkin trimmed with gold. She would have snorted, but he did look rather good in his knee-high brown boots. And his leather belt did go nicely—even though the hunting knife seemed a bit too bejeweled.

Dorian the fashionista

Okay wait. The castle is half stone half glass... Can you just see into the castle? How did they even build that. If this was wheel of time or something I'd assume it was a modern skyscraper being seen through the eyes of people who didn't understand that. But there haven't been any other clues to suggest post apocalyptic fantasy stuff... Idk how I feel about this

The writing continues to be good. Celaena's dreams are pretty disturbing and her moment of quiet contemplation while staring at the greenish glow of the glass castle was really solemn and grounding. I think her thoughts about putting kingdoms behind her would have really hit if sjm revealed her identity and still had her refuse to rule.

"She wasn’t fated for anything. Not anymore"

During this scene the weight of her life experiences so far - running from her burning home at 8, losing her magic, being taken in by a man she couldn't trust, being made to murder for a living, being betrayed (most likely by that same man) and ending up in a slave mine - feels real, feels like it's made her truly lonely.

Still, the image haunted his dreams throughout the night: a lovely girl gazing at the stars, and the stars who gazed back.

Okay so why didn't sjm give Feyre a moment like this if we're supposed to believe Rhysand is her destined true love.

Chapter 7

There's a sense of life in this story thats really missing from acotar. Rifthold has flags and sigils and trumpets announcing the Prince's return. The horses smell, the city smells, the spices from the market smell, the river smells. Like there's a world here and it's tangible.

Acomaf really is the grave. And stans act like it's her magnum opus. No wonder sjm doesn't talk to them.

From bearded peddlers to servant girls carrying armfuls of hatboxes, everyone paused as the flag-bearers trotted proudly ahead, and Dorian Havilliard waved. They followed the Crown Prince, who, like Chaol, was swathed in a red cape, pinned over the left breast with a brooch fashioned after the royal seal. The prince wore a golden crown upon his neat hair, and she had to concede that he looked rather regal. Young women flocked to them, waving. Dorian winked and grinned.

Nobody in Velaris or the Hewn City or Illyria gives a fuck about Rhysand like this lmaooo

Now that she noticed, there were countless chained slaves working the docks, lifting and sweating, holding parasols and pouring water, eyes on the ground or the sky—never on what was before them. She wanted to leap from her horse and run to them, or to simply scream that she wasn’t a part of this prince’s court, that she had no hand in bringing them here, chained and starved and beaten, that she had worked and bled with them, with their families and friends—she was not like these monsters that destroyed everything. That she had done something, nearly two years ago, when she had freed almost two hundred slaves from the Pirate Lord.

I get what sjm was trying to do but the White Woman Energy™ is off the charts. It's not about you and you being seen as bad. Decentre yourself from the slavery narrative, please and thank you.

Kinda disappointed Celaena didn't spot any other spies or assassins lurking about. She was strangely unobservant for once.

Spears erect, they held rectangular shields, and their eyes were dark beneath bronze helmets. Each wore a red cape. Their armor, while tarnished, was well crafted from copper and leather.

Actual description of uniform and weapons rather than just "Illyrian leathers" "Illyrian knives/swords" BUT why does the description sound like Roman soldiers when we're clearly in a renaissance-esque fantasy time period

No, okay, I don't like the literal glass castle on top of a stone castle. Celaena agrees.

Dorian: you won't compete as yourself, we'll keep it a secret.

Dorian at the entrance to the castle while nobles and guards are welcoming him back: WELCOME CELAENA SARDOTHIEN

They were each armed with a sword, knife, and crossbow, and though they’d been alert while their captain passed by, she knew a crossbow wasn’t exactly a light weight to bear for hours on end. Celaena crept to her bedroom window, pressing herself against the marble wall, and glanced down. Sure enough, the guards had already strapped the crossbows across their backs. It would waste precious seconds to grab the weapon and load it—seconds when she could take their swords, cut their throats, and vanish into the gardens.

Smart, and even adding to her character weight and credibility. She surveys the room, makes a weapon and categorises what she could use to kill. Legit feels like a competent assassin.

Even the clothes are so much better than in acotar. What happened to sjm??

“He has a big heart, His Highness.” hahaha Dorian is apparently out here hoeing, I respect it.

Not the literal throne of glass.

And then there was the matter of Dorian’s sapphire eyes—not even his mother had his eyes. No one knew where they came from.

I hope this matters

The conversation between Dorian Snr and Dorian Jr is loaded with politics:

King Dorian I is a conqueror

Dorian II doesn't want to inherit the empire.

The younger brother isn't really a threat, neither of them take Hollin seriously.

Ardalan is in active war against Wendlyn

Why call Celaena a witch if the race of Witch exists. Why not just call her a snake or temptress or something

Dorian wants to kill his dad. He just like me fr.

Chapter 8

Okay. Chaol has an eagle shaped pommel on his sword. Dorian's sigil is a wyvern. The guy Celaena ends up with can turn into a bird I think. Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel have bat wings. The love interest in Ccity is an angel. SJM has a thing for wings, yes?

Tamlin not having wings is more proof of Feylin not being endgame than anything else you can point to in the text.

Chaol is giving the assassin a tour of the castle... Is he stupid??

The competition begins tomorrow??????

“I don’t understand why you refuse to enter the glass addition,” he went on. “There’s no difference between the interiors—you wouldn’t even know that you were inside it unless someone told you or you looked out the window.”

I lack the visual imagination to understand what the fuck is going on with this building. It really just sounds like a skyscraper

A clocktower made of black stone. Something like you'd see at the Gates of Wyrd. Hmmm. King built a spooky magic tower thing around the birth of his son. The same king magically made magic disappear.... The gargoyle on the tower points to a tile in the garden with a symbol on it. It's feeling very Da Vinci Code rn

A library... I miss Nesta.

The letter exchange between Celaena and Dorian is better than anything in acomaf. I said what I said. Including it for proof:

Your Highness—

It has come to my attention that your library isn’t a library, but rather a personal collection for only you and your esteemed father to enjoy. As many of your million books seem to be present and underused, I must beg you to grant me permission to borrow a few so that they might receive the attention they deserve. Since I am deprived of company and entertainment, this act of kindness is the least someone of your importance could deign to bestow upon a lowly, miserable wretch such as I.

Yours most truly,

Celaena Sardothien

Celaena beamed at her note and handed it to the nicest-looking servant she could find, with specific instructions to give it immediately to the Crown Prince. When the woman returned half an hour later with a stack of books piled in her arms, Celaena laughed as she swiped the note that crowned the column of leather.

My Most True Assassin,

Enclosed are seven books from my personal library that I have recently read and enjoyed immensely. You are, of course, free to read as many of the books in the castle library as you wish, but I command you to read these first so that we might discuss them. I promise they are not dull, for I am not one inclined to sit through pages of nonsense and bloated speech, though perhaps you enjoy works and authors who think very highly of themselves.

Most affectionately,

Dorian Havilliard

What happened to Sarah, when did she abandon romance?

Also. Again. This is supposed to be kept secret but she signed her name??? And Dorian responds "my assassin" any courier or spy would have had them by the balls before the day was done.

IS THAT KALTAIN??? Her ladies are idiots.

Ahhh, classic YA girlhate

Chapter 9

Super short chapter.

Aww, Chaol.

----

Overall I'm still enjoying this more than I expected.

Again what happened to sjm? This love triangle is building so well.

[weirdzootopiaframes]

let's wrap this up, shall we

What's this one again?

zootopia+ boldly ends on a brutally effective metaphor. pause for a moment. think of the thousands of people, even in quote-unquote developed countries, who find themselves stuck in dead-end jobs just to get by. people who could be novelists, or engineers, or a competent twitter ceo, instead trapped in a tiring spiral of serving tables and scrubbing dishes

that's sam. sam the otter, original zootopia+ character, is adorable and charismatic and fun. she is trapped in unfunny comedy routine

Was it a good idea?

who could have guessed that a scene that was very funny six and a half years ago might not be equally funny when repeated wholesale

there's one bit, near the end, where they come up with a new and darkly hilarious way to iterate the joke. (if you've seen it, u no which part.) but this was also the only short my wife and i ended up outright talking over. we know what the joke is. we remember it. from six and a half years ago

also has anyone ever enjoyed an episode of anything where a character has tickets to something important, but events threaten to make them miss it? that just activates my anxiety more than anything else man

How well does it mesh with the movie?

this is a weirder one. next time i rewatch the film, and get to the ending scene of nick and judy pulling flash over, i feel like i'm definitely going to mutter 'and also there was an otter in the backseat. and despite the direct cut to this scene from the morning briefing, it's like, half six at night'

also i guess the concert sam's going to is the dance party at the end of the movie. they all made it!

What important detail that you missed was pointed out to you by your cool wife?

guess who's back. back again

raccoon boy's back. be his friend

but also, this time, i pointed out something very important to her >:3c

Best character?

i really like sam. and i liked seeing bucky and pronk, judy's terrible neighbours, in a brief appearance. despite being wholly over the sloths, i liked hearing kristen bell reprise and indeed flesh out her cameo role as priscilla

but forget them. forget all of that.  this is the moment this entire 'series' justifies its existence

my special booooooyyyyyyyys ;~~;

they're here and they're sharing wine at a table for two at an upscale restaurant and refusing to take off their bulky coats despite being indoors for presumably hours

they just keep happily chatting to each other, ignoring the #zany #shenanigans occurring around them. eyes only for each other

gary is the cutest extralegal mercenary in cinema history.

circling back to how this takes place just before the film ends, i'm choosing to believe they're splashing out on a nice dinner to celebrate the fact that, while their boi leodore remains incarcerated, they have escaped any such punishment themselves. good job, zootopia+. the dream lives on

Rating out of ten?

our odds of getting a 22-minute-an-episode tv show, centring around original characters like sam, has now either gone up (successful proof of concept) or down (why make more? you already got zootopia+!). either way they're probably still very low though