#its so weird to see friends date because then i feel like shit because i know ill be alone forever but then i feel bad for making it aboutme
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specialagentartemis · 5 hours ago
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Aro- and Ace-Spectrum Murderbot Diaries headcanons
For the beginning of Aromantic Awareness Week, I thought I’d write out some of my a-spec headcanons for TMBD characters!
Murderbot: its opinions on romance and sex range from “I didn’t give a shit about [it]” to “No!” to “No, no thank you, no. No.” This one’s not a headcanon these are all direct quotes haha.
ART: Because of its limited socialization and its only very recent introduction to deeply feeling the things depicted when watching media, I have a hard time imagining ART conceptualizing romance as something it would want or has any reason to want. Its articulation of closeness, commitment, devotion, and duty is crew. I think upon meeting Murderbot, it kind of got friendship for the first time. But Murderbot is also very much part of crew now as well. I don’t see it feeling the need to add romance to that emotional-relationship framework. It’s adventurous with experiences, though, especially with things it might consider gaps in its knowledge; it may be willing to try certain types of intimacy, experience, or sensation out of curiosity.
Three: Still very new to the freedom to name and articulate its feelings and desires, let alone take initiative to act on them when they involve other people. It had a weird and unique kind of closeness with its squadmates: you’re the only one I can trust. We can’t ever trust each other. You understand me. We aren’t allowed to talk about it. Our communications are closely monitored and limited. We know what the limits are and how to express ourselves within them. I care about you. I want you to be safe. Three wouldn’t call it romance but wouldn’t know what to call it at all besides squadmates. If Three identified as anything it would be quoiromantic, quoisexual, quoi-everything: how can it fit its experiences into a framework of sexuality and romanticism.
Ratthi: Aromantic allosexual with a strong belief in relationship anarchy. Takes the viewpoint of, every one of his relationships is different because every person is different! Hierarchizing them or categorizing them is kind of beside the point! Every relationship, family or friend or colleague or coauthor or person he knows from board game night or sexual partner, is something special. Though the most important people in his life include his best friends Arada and Overse, and they consider each other family.
Gurathin: Aromantic asexual. Limited social energy. Spends a lot of time quiet and alone and likes it that way. A few strong friendships, a few work friends, a few scientific colleagues, a cat.
Pin-Lee: Gray-aroace. Romance, dating, or sex is not a particular priority she wants to spend time pursuing, and she gets an uncomfortable stomach-churning feeling if she feels like she’s being expected to tie herself down to a relationship too fast. There’s a lot about her work and her goals and her life she’s not willing to compromise on. If her friendship with Bharadwaj or Mensah became something more squishy and boundary-blending, she wouldn’t be opposed, but she won’t actively pursue it either.
Arada: Demisexual lesbian. Ideal family household is her wife and her best friend.
Volescu: Aromantic heterosexual. The aro allo het man that tumblr warned you about~ Devoted father and husband. Comes from a culture where marriage and romantic desire are a venn diagram of optional overlap more so than a necessary expectation. (This dovetails with my Divarti political refugee backstory headcanon because as you may have noticed I am going full My City Now at this point)
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fappellmoan · 1 year ago
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something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.
#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love#what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it#why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties#of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often#so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk#and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore#i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them#. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec#but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd#but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness#but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it#that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too#and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch#now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do#something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope#and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude#this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post#ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting#all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever
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chinbiz · 21 days ago
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Idk if this is helpful to anybody else, but control in abuse doesn't always look as obvious as straight up forbidding someone from doing something. It can come in the form of telling you that you can do what you want, and then weaponizing shame to discourage you from doing those things. It can come in the form of giving you repeated unwanted "advice" on how to look nicer, pass better, act more appealing. It can come in the form of punishing you by giving the things they know you want/already promised you to other people instead. It can come in the form of pressuring you to do the things they want, and trying to get you to believe it was your idea, and if you push back or resist, twisting it into a mutual idea. It can come in the form of comparing you to other people and telling you that this other person lets them take charge and why can't you? It can come in the form of subtly sabotaging you as a joke, like leaving a mark on your face after you've just done your makeup.
Stay safe out there, and remember that nobody's personality is just "so big" that they have to snuff you out. That's abuse. You're dealing with an abuser.
Also just a side note for polyamorous people but yeah it's a huge red flag if you and your meta regularly have to "unionize" to get your needs met. Like it sounds cutesy without thinking about it but you shouldn't have to gang up on your partner for them to listen to you. It shouldn't take 2 or 3 people for them to understand what they're doing is wrong
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lovphobic · 2 years ago
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damn are u me bc SAME (unfortunately)) and it's kinda eating me alive bc one of them has this super awesome bf that really cares about her and is putting in the effort to show it and yeah I'm happy for her bc she deserves the world but also I sometimes think about how I've always been alone and haven't even kissed yet and I'm like. am i not pretty or interesting enough for someone to put effort in?? and i feel bad about feeling envious lol but it's ok
FORREAAAALLLLL like god i love my friends i am happy for them but after having two like supremely toxic relationships its just like. well when will it be my fucking turn huh. and i FEEL u on the kiss thing bc neither have i <3 and ive definitely been pitied for it too.. YAY.
but like. ok maybe this is toxic maybe not but. i think being envious is ok? just as long as its kept in check. like you dont Ruin your friendship over the envy. is that toxic am i cancelled.
#like on one hand i am SOOOOOOOOO sick of seeing u guys be happy but also like. i keep that shit inside i dont take it out on anyone bc its#immature and childish and wrong. but my feelings are something i cant control yk? and on the other hand its like FUUUUUUUUCK YES I AM SO#HAPPY THAT U ARE HAPPY YESSSSSSSS TELL ME EVERYTHING!! and its just a very weird war for me to be waging. by myself. in my mind palace#like. my second gf wasnt great to me. my recent ex was DEFINITELY not good to me. the weird fling i had w a guy last year when i had an#identity crisis left me feeling used (if u know. well. u know.) so its like. am i just not fucking deserving ? am i not deserving of#something nice that feels like coming home? that reminds me i didnt even get to have closure on my last crush bc it was fucking spearheaded#by my fucking ex and well THEYRE still friends go fucking figure fuck you guys#like the last time i truly felt loved was back in 2019. im so serious. like. i know im loved platonically sure. thats great and i love you#guys too. but this cant sustain me. im getting lonely and im getting bitter and i dont have anyone to blame. like. not even myself. which#SUCKS. it SO SUCKS. like . i dont know. i want something real before i die. i dont have a lifespan like you guys. my condition will#literally probably kill me. and like. im gonna die not knowing true love. thats where im at. thats kinda what im reminded of seeing all my#friends this happy. because they live normal lives. i dont even feel like i Deserve love but i want it so bad#did you know my ex when we like first started dating was like what am i gonna do when you die. what would i tell the kids. like you just#fucking say that to someone you love? you make the fact that their disability will likely kill them into a problem YOU have to face?#do you see what i mean. i just want to feel wanted. without conditions#snail mail#lol i made myself cry. im so hot hot girl summer (chokes)
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toorusmu · 2 months ago
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Theres a lot of boyfriends out there, which one are they ?
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Multi Chara, Haikyuu, Fluff
Best Ever !! Honestly, your friends are tired of hearing about how great he is. When you asked for his phone password out of curiosity, he just have you a strange look. "I dont have a password ?" Every time you split a snack, you got the larger piece. While walking down the streets, hed interlock your fingers and make sure you weren't close to the road. He'd always place his hand over the edges of counters to block your head from hitting it, and he always saved hot water for you.
You met his family early on, and they adore you ! Hes open and accepting about whatever family situation you have, and is comfortable waiting or being unable to meet your family. Your safety and happiness are his top priority when hes with you, and hed do anything to make you feel better.
- Sugawara, Ukai, Ennoshita, Akaashi, Kita, Sachiro, Aran, Yasufumi, Daichi, Iwaizumi, Osamu
Cuteeee !! Hes great, just a little shy and sometimes awkward. Hes on the path to become the best boyfriend, hes just new to all of this. His hands get sweaty easily while holding hands, but he never wants to let go. Under thick blankets during winter, or with a blasting AC in summers wrathful heat, he finds solitude in clinging to you.
Small gifts and pressed flowers, homemade snacks that started out tragic and slowly got more edible. Winking at you during volleyball, "This is for you !" right before his failed serve hit the net. Looks at you like a lost puppy, always following you around.
- Hinata, Inuoka, Takeda, Atsumu, Komori, Bokuto, Lev Haiba, Tadashi, Goshiki, Asahi, Hisashi, Kuroo, Hanamaki, Kindaichi, Konoha
Quite, for sure.. It can be a bit hard to communicate with him, its just too hard to tell what hes thinking ! Unless you directly ask, he'll bottle everything up. Hes not terrible, of course ! You know hes not the type to date someone he doesn't like, he just has trouble showing it. But in his small ways, he does.
Sticky note doodles and letters, getting embarrassed after accidentally ranting about volleyball or any other interest, giving you the first and last bite of everything, driving you or walking with you everywhere. If youve been dating for a while, he often prefers to show his affection through soft, quiet, touches. Petting your hair, tracing your hips, scratching your back, he needs his hands on you.
- Kenma, Kageyama, Ushijima, Sakusa, Suna, Nobuyuki, Aone
Kinda meaaaaan ! Like.. yea.. you guessss you love him (jkkk!!?), so why does he need to tease you so much ! If you're shorter, hes always using you as an armrest or bumping into you on purpose because he 'couldnt see you.' You make one mistake, and suddenly you're a "dumbass" or a "silly idiot." Rarely does he ever actually insult you, but its been an ongoing mission of yours to get his hardass to be a little romantic for once.
And of course, he has his sweet moments, but come the next day. "You look like shit." Whether you bicker back, turning it into a play fight, him never letting you win, enjoying the way he had you pinned down. Or, you could smile at him, you had his shirt on and his favorite pair of shorts, hair freshly conditioned and makeup still light and unsmeared. You knew, as much as he loved to be a bully, all it took was a soft smile for him to melt.
- Tsukishima, Yaku, Mad Dog, Kunimi, Hoshiumi
Um.. hes a little weird !! It probably took a minute for you to introduce him to your friends and family. You never knew what he was about to do or say, he always did something different or odd. Whether it be borderline scary or straight up stupid, it was one of the things you loved about him. All things considered, he was absolutely hilarious.
He eventually became like a son and friend to those close to you. Not a lot of people understood him, and as unserious as he is, he genuinely is thankful you not only stayed with him, but gave him friends and family too.
- Shohei, Tendou, Nishinoya, Tanaka, Oikawa
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servicpop · 1 year ago
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NOW STARRING : deliquent (almost) bf (Adrien) x good student reader
「ㅤNSFWㅤ」ㅤAdrien gets a bit lonely and pulls reader under the staircase during break!
✙ warnings — semi-public sex, masturbation, orgasm denial, reader isn't 100% submissive, dirty talk / like 2 sentences of degradation and praise / not actually dating / slight internalised homophobia / mentions of bisexual Adrien
notes ,, first smut, hope I did well -> part 1 | not proofread!
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"Fuck— keep quiet alright?"
When Adrien left a cryptic text message saying to meet underneath the staircase, you at first thought you had done something wrong and he was going to beat you up for whatever you did. But, turns out — it was a really silly reason — that Adrien saw this couple making out underneath the tree they had and he wanted to experience something like that with you. Obviously because friends help friends right?
Underneath the staircase was quite dim and almost eerie. It wasn't as romantic as kissing underneath a cherry blossom tree but when have you two ever been the cheesy romantic type? When you arrived, he pulled you in close, wrapping his arms around you like he had been reunited with his long lost lover — which wasn't too far off since he truly believed that you two dated in a previous life. When he hugged you, you tried to act nonchalant, you tried to ignore the warmth that his chest gave off or how safe you felt in his stupdily built arms. Friends aren't supposed to feel like this to eachother, especially if both parties are men!
"Did you call me over just to hug?" You chuckled softly, fighting every bone in your body to not hug him back. You gotta be strong, you can't fall for a deliquent bad boy, it's too cliché.
"I called you over to fuck."
"Wait, what?"
You felt Adrien's hand grip the back of your head, pulling your hair hard enough to tilt your chin up but not hard enough to hurt (he can't be hurting his precious boy). His chapped lips met yours, it was obvious that he didn't take very good care of his lips but that didn't matter, you'd help him out later. The kiss was rough and almost experimental as if Adrien had never kissed another in his life — which was wrong seeing how he's had multiple girlfriends in the past — he seemed almost hesitant, unsure.
Fuck it. Just this once you'd give in to Adrien, but that doesn't mean you were dating him!
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as you prod your tongue against his lips, you figured you would demonstrate how to kiss properly to him, he was a hands on learner after all. His eyes widened slightly and his hands dropped to your waist, supporting your balance as he hesitantly opened his mouth, letting your tongue explore. It was weird because usually he'd be the one always taking control but your occasional leading was a breath of fresh air.
After awhile he pulled away with a smirk, "I got it," he replied before picking you up and forcing you to rely on him for stability. A small squeak left your throat as you were hoisted up in the air and pressed against the wall, your legs instinctively wrapped around Adrien's waist. He kissed you again except this time he took dominance, roughly exploring your mouth, poking and prodding at anything he could find. He was so rough that you hadn't noticed his belt come off until the metal clinked on the ground, then you realised what was poking at your ass.
Shit, he was big. Not necessarily in length but girth and thickness, it was practically the perfect all-rounder.
"Wait— Adrien, condom?" You stuttered, the fear finally settling in now. Its not like you were a virgin, just that you've never had someone like... Adrien. His eyes met yours in slight disappointment but he didn't want to go too far on his first time with you, plus, he wasn't even dating you so why would he go so far? Shaking off his thoughts he nodded, rummaging in his pocket for one while keeping you pressed against the cold wall.
"Jerk me off first? The latex gets uncomfortable to put on," He put on a fake pout, letting you stand as he held his throbbing cock out for you to see. You huffed, he was definitely lying but you'd humour him. Just for today.
You reached down, your warm palm engulfing his tip and he let out a low grown in response. Your thumb rubbed against his slit and a smile cracked onto your face when you saw the pre-cum leaking out already. His forearms caged you in as his head hung low, you could see his eyebrows furrowing and the way his face contorted in pleasure. Adrien's hips grinded up into your fist, matching your rhythm as you stroked his cock, gripping tighter at the base before swirling your thumb on his tip. It was almost like you were massaging his climax out.
"S-shit how are you so good with your hands," He sucked in air between his teeth as he hissed, groans and low moans slipped out of his mouth like water. Eager hips bucked up into your fist, chasing his release. "Close, fuck—" He cursed under his breath, his hips almost slamming into your hand, his body trembed as he was so close. His eyes flew open as he looked down to see your thumb covering his urethral opening, denying him of an orgasm, "Wh–?"
"That's enough isn't it? It should slip on easily now," You grinned, taking the condom from his hand and ripping it open with your fingers, rolling the rubber over his now overly sensitive dick. He stared in disbelief, you just... denied him? Him? Oh you were getting it now.
"You little pervert," Adrien chuckled darkly as he whipped you around, pressing your chest against the wall and holding your arms behind your back. It wasn't the most comfortable position ever but your uncomfort was interrupted when he pulled your pants down with your boxers. It was embarassing to say the least, showing off your ass like this to another guy, you were glad you had to face the wall, otherwise you might’ve crumbled from embarrassment if you saw how hungry Adrien looked.
He was teasing you. Edging you. Slipping his cock along your entrance but never actually pushing in. You were dying of anticipation because from your position, it was hard to see anything other than the walls. A surprised and embarrassingly loud moan slipped out and you'd cover your mouth if it wasn't for Adrien's hand binding your wrists together. Adrien had slammed his hips into you, his cock buried deep inside you. No warning no nothing, he was truly cruel. One hand was gripping your hip while the other hand let go of your wrists, you were finally able to stabilise yourself against the wall but long fingers thrusted their way into your mouth. Well this was new.
You gagged slightly around his fingers as you tried to say something about it but your words were blocked by Adrien's middle and ring finger. His hips also began to pick up speed, pulling out almost fully before slamming back in. You were kind of thankful for his thick fingers blocking and muffling your moans or else people were sure to catch you two fucking like bunnies underneath the staircase.
He leaned down so that his chest was flush against your back and the hand that was gripping your hip turned into his arm linking around your waist as he held you close. Adrien's breath fanned your ear before he spoke, "You know those– puppy bandages you gave me yesterday?" His question was broken from panting and groans as he kept thrusting. "Where did you buy them? I– fuck– want them," Adrien chuckled.
You would answer if you didn't have two fingers stuffed in your throat. "You know... good boys don't gatekeep, you don't wanna be good for me?" Fuck. You were never the one for praise but that? That made you cum on the spot. Your knees gave out as your poor cock spurted out white but Adrien was already keeping you up right. He laughed, his gravelly laugh travelled straight through your ears and to your cock. He smiled against your shoulder, almost like he was hugging you from behind, he quickly came after you. Shame that it wasn't inside you but it would do for now.
You both panted, and he took this opportunity of vulnerability from you to sink his teeth into your skin, eliciting a small gasp from you, "What the fuck Adrien?" The bell rung, indicating that break was over and you whined, fixing your uniform before pulling your boxers and your pants up, wincing from the weird sticky feeling from not cleaning up. Adrien was already dressed and he waved you off, quickly running off to a spot where he could skip the next few classes with his friends. You'd have to fix yourself up in the bathroom later.
BONUS
"Did you seriously cum from my praise?
"No, it's just a normal reaction."
"Who's a good boy?"
"Fuck you..."
"Nope! Never letting you top."
"I didn't mean it like that!"
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notes ,, the smut wasn't as detailed as I wanted it to be but I get fics done in like a day so I didn't want it to be so long, anyways! That's adrien, I'll be working on a fic for my next oc "
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rotthepoet · 6 months ago
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Bsf!theo casually being your secret hookup friend and makes it really obvious but also denies it too anyone who asks 🤡
MWAH‼️ (thats me kissing your clever brain because i love it)
I think it would begin as an actual genuine friendship. You two just get along so well, studying together, sitting by each other in the great hall, gossiping and giggling as one does. Theo just adores you, you’re the light of his life tbh
But i mean. You have needs. He has needs. It happens for the first time after a late night smoke sesh. You’re laughing and joking around and you’re play fighting. Start shoving each other around, all fun and games. You end up on your back, Theo on top of you. And like. It’s all silent for a minute. Just a minute. Then just… you both feel the energy shift and you’re making out on the floor. Its messy and he’s groping you, feeling everything he can, kissing down your neck, and really one thing leads to another and you’re in his bed taking it doggy style.
And yeah, It was really just supposed to be a one time thing. Nothing should change. You were just high and horny at the same time, it’s not weird unless you make it weird.
But then… it just… keeps happening.
And neither of you are in any rush to stop it.
Lets take a pause, just one moment please and thank you. I just want to say I think Theodore has a very high sex drive. Gets his mind off things, considers it a workout, and it just feels good. He is a gorgeous man, so its not hard to find willing partners but something just hits harder here. Maybe its the thrill of sneaking around. The knowledge that he’s fucking his friend on the regular and then pretending it never happened.
He stops seeing as many people- obvs not cutting everyone off because hes a bit of a man whore(he doesn’t want you to get sick of him)- and he doesnt even realize it. He just… likes you more than all his other hoes🙏
Anyways! Its kinda obvious that Theo and you have something going on. Prolonged glances at each other, biting your lip at him, him grazing his hands over your hips while he whispers something in your ear that makes you blush. Man goes out of his way to “subtly” slap your ass.
Its Draco and his big mouth that say anything first. Their whole crew is sitting in the Common Room, just idly chatting and playing cards. When conversation eventually gets stale, Draco sits back and looks Theodore dead in the eyes. “Nott, are you dating that… “friend” of yours?”
And he means it in a cheeky teasing way. Because how can Theodore Nott, local playboy, be settling down?
And Draco expected a solid “yes, and what of it?”
He didn’t expect the most casual “nah” anyone could muster.
And heads turn, Blaise raising a brow because he was certain you and Theo were an official item. Questions begin rising, and Theo just shrugs them all off like its all rumors.
“So you aren’t hooking up with them?”
Nope
“Youre really just that touchy? It came out of no where.”
Dunno, mate, shit happens and people change.
And he’s biting back a smirk because his mind is on you again and suddenly he’s faking a yawn and excusing himself to many protests. He misses your body(he misses you he misses you so bad its genuinely such a distressing feeling in his chest when he cant see you all day)
He swallows all those feelings though. Youre just a friend.. with benefits? Just a friend with benefits. Nothing more. He doesn’t even like tear up a little bit when you play with his hair after he finishes. Like. Its not that deep.(it is that deep. Its so deep. Its miles deep. Hes so down bad.)
And its not like hes ever going to admit it. Hes just gonna keep hooking up with you and pushing those feelings away.
Swallowing those feelings won’t stop him from punching some dude for dancing a little too close to you at a party, though.
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hellishjoel · 2 years ago
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talk me down
3.7k / therapist!joel x f!reader
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Summary: You’re finally ready to sit down and discuss your obvious daddy issues. Your therapist, Joel, has his methods. 
Warnings/Information/Heads-Up: MA 18+ (minors DNI), NO OUTBREAK, abuse of position (therapist!joel), discussions of parental divorce, daddy issues, praise kink, daddy kink, pet names, cursing/swearing, age gap, handjob (for a lil bit?) unprotected p in v, cockwarming (if you squint?), breathplay (I’m running out of breath typing all this are we good to go?) 
A/N: this is my first fic wow how exciting, I can’t thank my new friends enough for the brainstorming and helping make it to tumblr so let’s just get on with it yeah? tell me if you want more, my requests are open x
“Oooh, fuck,” you gasp, your head coming back up to watch as his hand disappeared under the drape of your skirt. Suddenly you felt him cup your aching mound, taking in a short breath at the feeling of finally getting some much-desired pressure down there.   “So fuckin’ wet… were you this wet during our whole session, kitten?” He asked. It was sick and twisted, you knew it was. That’s why you let out a shameful little nod, your legs wanting to clench around his hand there.  He let out a disgusted scoff, you deserved it. You wanted to fuck your therapist. 
“So what brings you here today?”
Your eyes shyly evade his, instead choosing to graze over the belongings of your new therapist’s office. It looked like a small library the way books were lined up and stacked on the shelves. The desk behind him was a dark oak, and everything had its place, not a pen out of line. After you deliberately ignore his question, he probes you again.
“It says on your intake form that you have... A distant relationship with your father due to your parents' divorce. Is that something you want to talk about with me today?”
His voice is sweet like honey, but you’re the only one dripping. You failed during your extended research on therapists to check his picture because you had no idea you signed up for someone so fucking handsome.
Your jaw was tight as you clamped your legs tighter together one draped over the other, trying to conceal your growing arousal. Talk, or he’ll think you’re mute!
“Yes.” You say, clearing your throat as you readjust your skirt over your lap, tugging at the hem.
You confide in Joel about the hardships of your parents growing up. The house was never quiet, always fighting, tearing each other down, and it just wasn’t healthy. You thought you’d thank the lord the day they filed for a divorce. You didn’t expect to lose the relationship you had with your father in the midst of it all.
You were still young, trying to grow up and learn, his absence mattered to you, even if it didn’t to your mother. He came around a lot at first. He’d pick you up from school and steal you away for a few hours, getting ice cream to celebrate your reunion with him.
But then, he got a new girlfriend. You weren’t sure how she managed to replace both you and your mother, but she did. You saw him less, he started not meeting your expectations. Soon, he became a weird distant memory. Now, as a young adult, you combat all the unjust things the wake of his departure caused. You couldn’t bear the thought of dating someone your age. Everyone was young and immature, asking for nudes over text after the first date if they even got your phone number at all. Now it was all just over social media or dating apps.
“Older men are just more... Refined. They have their priorities and goals, and they’re like... Actually accomplishing shit. Guys my age are just..” You paused, your eyes meeting his own to fill in the gaps.
“.. Not meeting your expectations?” Joel asked, his pen clutched in his hand as he scribbled something in his notepad.
“Right.” You let out breathily, your eyes falling to the chest hair you could see exposed by his button-up shirt.
This was a perfect example because look at Dr. Joel Miller! His Ph.D. decorated the wall with numerous other accolades on his shelves, so you knew he was smart. Being a therapist made him a good listener, you’d never have to feel like you were the therapist to a frat guy again.
You let out an involuntary whimper, a white-hot flash soaring through the pit of your stomach. You were dripping for him, and you could feel it against your clenched thighs.
“I know talking about these topics is difficult, but you’re doing a good job.” He praised you as you felt your chest and cheeks flush red with his attention.
Your breathing was staggered, you needed to release the tension between your legs desperately.
“You-- uhm, you think I’m doing a good job?”
His eyes flashed up to you with the question, something dark and tantalizing about the way he looked over you now. It was like a predator meeting prey the way his eyes began to rake over you.
Your arousal was obvious in the way your knee anxiously bounced up and down, continuing to readjust in your seat, begging for him to tell you that your time with him was up so you could go home and use your vibrator on your clit, thinking about Dr. Joel Miller between your legs.
You watched as he stood up from his chair across from you, your eyes tracking him as he nodded slowly. He clasped his hands behind his back, his strong biceps fighting the material of his shirt for dominance. The hand closest to you came down and did a delicate sweep around the rim of the chair you were sitting in.
“You’re doing great, baby girl.” He praised again, stopping to stand next to you. You were eye-level to his waist, your lips parting at the sight of the bulge in his pants. Oh, fuck me, so that’s what he’s been hiding behind his notepad.
His hand gently reached out to you, two straight fingers under your chin as he tilted you up to look at him. Your long eyelashes batted at him, teeth piercing down into your bottom lip. You let out an involuntary sigh as his hand moved up your cheek, bringing you in to rest against his thigh.
He was warm, and he smelled like Old Spice, god, you could swear it was the same one your dad used to use. You whimper at the thought, digging your face gently further into his protection. You felt his hand gently caress the back of your head, stroking back your hair from your face.
You wanted him, your pussy wanted him, and the throbbing need for his attention and affection was incurable. You began to press kisses into the material of his pants, losing all pride as you fell to your knees in front of him and palmed your hand over his growing erection.
You braved looking up at him, his face watching you in adoration, like he was proud of you.
“Is this what you want? I’ll do whatever you want.” You say meekly, desperate to please.
“You know what I think you need?” He asks, his voice dropped an octave, and it was making you purr. He was more sultry now, his hands finding yours and guiding you up off of the floor. You finally shake your head, your hands gently moving up his chest and feeling his toned pecs and broad shoulders.
Seeing him this close made your heart flutter. He was so handsome, so grown. His wispy curls were adorning the same salt and pepper as his beard. He had worn lines by his eyes and on his forehead, his curious mind must always be causing his brows to furrow. He had you breathless at the mouth and achingly wet down below.
“I think you need me to take care of you. Is that what you want, baby? Someone to show you how much they care about you? Someone to be where you need them most?” His strong hand is traveling down your front now, Joel’s pointer finger curling into the front of your skirt. Your lips part as he tugs so hard that you’re falling into him, your small hands clutching the landscape of his biceps.
“Yes-- fuck, please Joel, yes.” You nearly beg. Be there for me, be inside me.
He let out a heavy grunt of satisfaction, closing the distance between you as he cradled your face in his big hands and connected your lips. You felt safe, letting your walls fall down as he took care of you.
You melted in his hold, Joel’s tongue carefully gliding over your bottom one in a request for you to part yours for him. You followed his lead, a whimpering moan leaving you as you felt his tongue invade your mouth. He was moving you backward methodically until the back of your thighs hit the desk you previously admired. Your hips shook the frame, hearing pens and some papers clatter to the floor.
You felt overwhelmingly hot, you needed to shed some layers. Like the mind reader he was, Joel’s hands moved down to the hem of your top, breaking your heated kiss to discard the material in his way.
He generously cupped your breasts held away by your bra, another desperate moan leaving you as you watched him through hooded eyes admire your body. His hands were quick to settle on your hips, fingertips burning into your skin as he lifted you up onto the desk with ease. Fuck, he had the kind of strength that looked effortless.
Joel was taking charge, and it was so nice, he knew exactly what he wanted to do, and you didn’t have to worry about anything. His legs nudged your own open, cool air finally greeting your needy pussy. The sensation had your head falling back, accidentally breaking your kiss once more.
“Oooh, fuck,” you gasp, your head coming back up to watch as his hand disappeared under the drape of your skirt. Suddenly you felt him cup your aching mound, taking in a short breath at the feeling of finally getting some much-desired pressure down there.
“So fuckin’ wet… were you this wet during our whole session, kitten?” He asked. It was sick and twisted, you knew it was. That’s why you let out a shameful little nod, your legs wanting to clench around his hand there.
He let out a disgusted scoff, you deserved it. You wanted to fuck your therapist.
“You want daddy to take care of that for you with his cock?” His foul words had you at a loss of your own, your jaw slack as he pressed his hips into yours and you could feel his dick pressed right up against your pussy.
“Take daddy’s belt off.” He grumbled his orders, a quick nod leaving you. You didn’t want to waste his time.
“Yes.” You whimpered.
“Yes, what?” His voice was stern and articulate, making you bend your will as his close proximity flooded your senses. You couldn’t find his belt soon enough. You popped the button of his jeans and nearly tore off the zipper at his ask.
“Yes, daddy.” You whimper, a greedy smile on your lips to see you earned his favor. He adoringly cupped one side of your cheek as both of your heads rested against one another’s to watch you pull down his dark briefs.
He let out a strained grunt at the release, his flesh going to slap against his tanned stomach. He was already unbuttoning his shirt as you made a fist around him, watching his face to see how he liked it. Too fast? A little slower? Too rough... You paused and spat down on him, your eyes darting back up to his as he let out a satisfied sigh. Let me do it perfectly for you, Joel.
“So good for me.” He purred, his thumb brushing down the slope of your nose and over your swollen bottom lip that you had bruised from biting down so hard on it. He pushed the tip of his thumb past your lips, the intrusion a surprise but you eagerly sucked to appease him. The action made him swell in your hand to fullness, even beginning to feel too heavy in your hand as you continued to work over him.
“Is this all for me?” You asked eagerly, a sweet smile gracing your face.
You watched as he leaned in, your eyelashes fluttering closed as he came to press his warm lips against the crown of your head. “All for you, baby girl.” He mumbled against your forehead.
“Oh,” you let out in a sweet surprised little moan, your hand working over him eagerly faster. You didn’t care if you got off at this point, as long as he did.
“Lie back, baby.” His voice was rocky like gravel, you could already see his chest heaving at the attention of your hands. You did as he asked, but not before he unclipped your bra so your tits were on full show for him.
You reached one of your hands back, already gripping the edge of the table as you braced yourself for him. He was so large, easily the largest you had ever been with. You wanted to feel every inch of man that he was inside of your throbbing cunt.
Your skirt was merely an obstacle in his way, watching him toss it up to show your lacey panties underneath. You bit down on your lip with a wide smirk on your face, he really liked the lace.
“So fuckin pretty,” he admired, your hands coming to rest over his own, your nails gently grazing down his forearms to his fingers. His pointer finger and thumb grazed over the soaked material, admiring how he could see your pretty pussy underneath it. The lace was so dainty and fragile in his hands, he could just--
You gasp as his large hands rip the delicate lace right open, a messy opening of broken threads but now, he had unlimited access to your sex. He was so strong, you hoped he would split you open the same way.
His hands took a grip on the tops of your parted thighs from the outside, taking one foul yank as you felt him press his cock between your wet folds. You were back to gripping and stroking over his forearms, your delicate hand coming up to feel his stubbled cheek.
“Joel please, I need you.” you whimpered out, his head nodding against yours as a few of the curlier strands on his head fell onto his forehead. He was so handsome when he was turned on.
Joel’s heavy huffs broke the eye contact of his cock gliding up and down your arousal, the slick lubing him perfectly. He was perfectly glazed over now, all because of you, his heavy thumb coming down to gently circle over your throbbing clit.
You let out a cry at the much-needed attention, your walls pulsing for him to fill you up.
“Joel!” You whined out in anticipation, your jaw dropping as he finally guided his tip to you without warning and slammed into your depths until he bottomed out in one thrust. His hand was quick to clamp over your mouth, stopping you from letting out a sobbing moan as tears started to swell at the brim of your eyes.
“Don’t want anyone to hear us, princess,” His voice was broken by grunts and loose breaths, his palm swallowing your hot high pitched whines. “Or else we’ll have to stop.” You did not want him to stop!
You quickly shook your head and clasped your wrist around his which kept your mouth shut. I’ll be good, I’ll be good for you Joel. A tear slipped as you peppered apologetic kisses to the inside of his palm, your eyes desperately connecting with his in a silent ask for him to please continue fucking you.
Joel swiveled his hips back, his jeans clinging to his upper thighs as he rolled back into you. You couldn’t help but clench your eyes closed and let out a broken moan. He filled you up in all the best ways possible, he was perfect inside of you, every goddamn inch. You didn’t realize how loud you had gotten, his hand pushing your head down further into the desk and squeezing into your cheeks until you snapped out of it.
“What did fuckin’ tell you?” He punched out. God, you could feel him pulsating inside of your tight walls.
“God, this tight pussy feels so-- fuckin’ good.”
You moaned quietly at the compliment, a blissed-out smile on your lips still against his palm as he started a steady rhythm rocking into you.
You whimpered as the desk started to creak with each of his heavy thrusts, pinching your ass against the desk but he felt too good to complain. Sure, you’d have a red line imprinted on your cheeks, but hell, it was so worth it. “Such a good fuckin’ girl, little angel for me-- fuck,” he grunted as he used the hand wrapped around your mouth as leverage, holding your head down as his hips snapped into you mercilessly. You were crying out moans into his palm, but nothing loud ever left the room, just like he wanted.
Your hands are clenching at the desk now, desperate not to fly off. Through blurry eyes, you saw his face, tight and twisted as he admired the way your breasts bounced with each of his thrusts.
You bravely reached up to take his hand around your mouth, shifting it down to wrap around your windpipe. You gave him an angelic little smile, biting down on your lower lip to hold in your dirty moans.
Joel watched you in awe, nodding with his sick little half-smirk as he started to squeeze at the sides of your throat. Fuck, he’s done this before, he knows exactly what he’s doing. The heightened experience turns you on, he’s not some 20-something idiot who cares only about getting his dick wet. Joel wants you to cum.
“You look at me baby.. fuck--, don’t break eye contact until you wanna breathe, darlin’.” His accent drawled in your ear and made your pussy even wetter for him. One of his hands squeezed at the sides of your delicate windpipe, his other hand snaking between you two as his electric fingers found your buzzing clit.
The attention was a lot, but you were a whore for it.
His thrusts grew sloppier, but he was pacing himself, Joel wants you to cum first.
You whimper at the idea of him putting you ahead of his own interested and needs, your head growing foggy as your wrist wrapped around his own that held you down but you didn’t look away from his amber eyes. He licked his lips in desire watching you, your lips parting for air as you finally looked away.
He followed through on his promise, his strong hands going lax as your head fell to the side, eyes closing in bliss while your pussy fluttered around his dick.
“Fuck baby girl,” he panted through a mumble as his spare hand massaged over your breasts. “Got me losin’ my goddamn mind.” He moaned something that resembled your name, pinching at your sensitive peaks until he had you whimpering.
“Joel I- oh god,” your stomach dropped as the tip of his dick massaged at your sweet spot, a cry threatening to spill from your lips but you knew he didn’t like you being too loud in his office so you hold it in, your cheeks going hot red.
It was all too much. Your foggy head, his hands on your sensitive bits, his fucking dick slamming into you. You felt so small in his hold, his body shielding you from the outside world as he drove you face-first into your earth-shattering orgasm.
“Joel-Joel please, fuck, I’m gonna-,” Your chin tilted up and your back arched, his hand instantly moving back up to your throat so you could feel even more floated during the crash of your orgasm.
“Cum for me princess. Cum for me now.” He demanded in a mumble.
It coursed through your body like an electric current, your body short-circuiting from the amount of pleasure it was receiving all at once.
Your lips were parted, but nothing came out. You couldn’t hear a thing, only Joel, only him as he ruts himself against your core and you feel him spill his hot cum into the depths of your sex. You lazily smirked as you made your walls flutter around him, your core pulsing. Could almost feel him in your belly.
His breaths were heavy, heavenly. It made your skin clammy, the both of you so fucked up that you were stuck in place. You didn’t realize it, but you had reached up to cup his face, your thumb gently gliding down the curve of his crooked nose. Your lips gently came together as your head came up, kissing the tip of his nose before going to lay back down on his desk.
“Oh, baby girl,” Joel purred in adoration, his mouth coming down to greet yours in a delicate kiss. “Did such a good job.” Both of you were so drunk on your orgasms, everything was so perfect.
You lazily kissed him back, your arms wrapping around the tops of his shoulders with your fingers lightly fisting the hair at the nape of his neck to keep him close as he softened inside of you. You could stay here like this forever.
You glanced over just in time, seeing the last grain of sand fall down in his glass sand timer. Your session with Dr. Joel Miller was over.
He helped you hop off his desk, your wobbly legs needing to find their strength again. His cum was already meeting the tops of your inner thighs, your face blushing at the feeling. You were quite literally gaping for him.
Joel cleared his throat and easily pulled his jeans back up to the top of his hips at his waist, securing his belt and zipper before he fisted your discarded, ripped apart panties.
“Oh,” you whispered a bit embarrassed at the sight of them. You had just finished pulling your shirt back onto your torso, stuffing your bra inside your purse. No way you were going to try and put that thing back on. You reached out for him to hand them over, your eyes widening as he pulled his hand away and stuffed them into his pocket.
“For safe keeping…” He trailed off, his eyes still dark as they looked down at your wide ones. Well, you weren’t getting those back any time soon. They were his now, your torn to threads black lace panties. You nodded and weakly smiled, still trying to catch your breath.
Joel walked you out, tapping his absentminded secretary’s desk to tell her to find something in both of your calendars for a future date.
“I think I can really help you work this out.” He told you on your way out.
As you left his office, you felt like everyone knew what you had just done. But for now, it was just a secret for you and your therapist, Joel.
---------------- taglist: let's be fr lol If you liked talk me down, check out pretty little thing!
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love-bitesx · 2 years ago
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I loveeeedd the last story Tysm ❤️❤️❤️ Keep up the amazing work 🌈
I have another request
Hobie x fem spider reader
Reader has a weird stalker ex-bf, and the reader tries to keep it a secret from Hobie but he finds out and deals with the ex.
: ̗̀➛ STALKER. hobie brown x fem!reader
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any criminal minds fans out there … i hope u see the parallels of my baby spencer also i'm so sorry, i didn't see until after i wrote this entire thing that you said 'fem spider reader' so it's a fem normal reader, so sorry! i hope it's still okay, tho!! thank u sm for ur support angel !! summary: hobie & y/n have been doing long distance for months, but she never told him exactly why. words: 2.8k (the words just kept coming, sorry its so long lmao) warnings: fem!reader, pronouns not really used but "my girl", "lady", etc. are, read at your own risk! weird stalker bf, creepy fella, hobie n y/n are long distance, very very soft hobie
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“when can i call you next, darlin’?” hobie’s voice was laced with longing, bass distorted by static at the other end of the phone.
“if you’re quick, we can call tomorrow after 5,” you smiled, and if you were in an 80’s romcom, you’d be twisting the phone cord between your fingers.
“5pm it is, don’t be late,” you can hear his smirk, and a bolt of guilt strikes your chest.
“look, i need to ask something, and i think i already know the answer,” hobie speaks, and you bite your lip in anticipation, “the band and i are playing at a new venue tomorrow, it’s the biggest we’ve played, we’re all dead excited, and…”
a sigh.
“well, it won’t feel the same without you there, pretty.”
if the first bolt wasn’t enough, then the second one lived up to it, striking you into the dead center of your heart. it had been well over 6 months since you met hobie. well, “met”. you’d accidentally called the wrong number one day, meaning to contact a friend of a friend, but typing the last number wrong. picking up at the other end was a deep, almost mesmerising voice, telling you; “no bother, darlin’. it happens, just make sure not to lose this number, wanna hear more from ya.”
“hobie, you know i can’t,” your voice is brimming with remorse and you look to the ground.
“i know, shit with your parents, i get it," he tried hard to hide the disappointment, but his heart twanged with neglect and it creeped through into his words.
parents. strict, all-demanding 'parents'. that's what you told hobie when you first started dating, that the reason you aren't able to see him was because your mother was overbearing and extremely protective – it was a lie. a lie that was eating you up from the inside out. the truth was slightly more grim, however.
years ago, you got involved with a guy at work. a couple brief conversations turned into dates, and dates turned into anniversaries, anniversaries turned into toxic, violent arguments and after a long time of dating, you broke up with him. to say he took it badly, was a criminal understatement. threatening phone calls, showing up at your work, sending you gifts and menacing letters – his signature move was scaring off, and even once harming, any man or potential love interest that you interacted with. it was exhausting, and terrifying.
and hobie was different. he was sweet and kind, but rough around the edges, and his voice dripped in passion no matter the topic of conversation. his promises were never empty, and most importantly – he loved you. and you loved him. the last thing you wanted, was your ex to pop up and scare him off, so you kept it from him. limiting your relationship to phone calls at arranged times incase your ex was keeping tabs.
“i’m sorry, hobie,” is all you could muster, not even scratching the tip of the catastrophic iceberg that wedged the back of your throat.
“it’s okay, darlin’, don’t worry that pretty little head over it,” and just like every phone call, you melted into his words, “i love you, yeah? i’ll call you tomorrow at 5.”
“i’ll be waiting,” you smiled, cheeks flushed at his gentle affirmations, “i love you.”
with a ruckus of movement, and what sounded like a kiss, the call ended, and you stared at the screen silently for a moment. not much longer could you avoid it, and the malten bubble of dread spilled into your gut.
sending him a quick text:
‘good luck tomorrow, handsome. what’s the venue called again? you’ll do amazing x’
you turned off your phone, discarding it on the bed as you climbed into the hole of guilt you’d dug yourself.
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“oi, you ready, blud?” hobie’s band mate yelled above the bustle and cheers from the crowd before them. large, bejewelled hands poised onto his guitar strings, he smirked.
“always.”
with a nod to the roadie, the lights went up, illuminating the stage and instruments, hobie's glowing with a harsh red tint. immediately, his sepia eyes digested the crowd. seeing the flushed, excitable faces staring back at him sent a shot of confidence to his bones, and they moved, strumming the guitar with such vigor that the stage floor shook beneath his feet. cheers erupted, and yet felt oddly empty. it was missing something, and he knew what it was immediately.
he'd truly give his all to have you there, front stage in his eyeline, screaming his songs like gospel. not that he'd ever seen you properly, only seeing teasing selfies you'd sent him over the months you'd been together. he didn't care, inherently, he'd fallen head over heels for your personality; a pretty face was only just a bonus.
however, he did yearn for your touch. to feel his hands in your hair, to kiss your cheek, your nose, your neck. he longed to have you with him, even just doing stupid little tasks, having you by his side through the domestic side of life.
his gall spurred him on, his passion surging through his fingertips, spilling out into the sound waves. the audience were lapping it up, screams and chants only barely audible under the booming power of their set. song, after song, after song his talented blood seeped out onto the strings, and his feet were almost numb from the vibration of the bass.
the final song arrived, and his chest was burning, vision blurry, heart pounding against his chest – and he loved it. it was their biggest crowd, their most excitable achievement so far, and his blood pumped with adrenaline as he finished off the set, falling to his knees as he strum his guitar with one final chord. lights falling, his chest was heaving and his eyes scanned the audience one final time – you weren’t there. he had to accept that.
“that was fuckin’ sick, blud!” his bassist yelled as they exited the stage, palm slapping hobie’s shoulder blade and elicited a wide, ecstatic grin.
“you smashed it, mate,” hobie shouted back over the booming stereo that took their place.
“nah, man, you stole the show,” his bassist shook his head, patting him again in appreciation, “good that your lady’s here to see it, too, she must be proud.”
“i wish, mate,” he sighed.
“did you not see her?” his ears perked up, and at his confused expression, his bandmate continued, “over at the back, by the bar, i didn’t know what she looked like, but she was asking after you. ‘er story adds up.”
"shit," he mutters, feet solid on the ground. his heart pounds, skeptical of your presence, but chest bursting with hope that it just might be you, "look, bro, i need to–"
"go! go, man, go see her," his bandmate pushes him in the direction of the bar, and he almost stumbles over his own feet to push the stage door open, met with the chaos of the crowded bar.
dark eyes scanning the aimless faces, he searched for anyone who could look like you; his stature brought him above everyone else, only by a little, but gave him an advantage to seek you out.
"sorry, i need to get past," he repeated, over and over to unassuming bodies, setting through the chaos to find his peace. pushing out at the back, a wave of light met him, shining through empty pint glasses and illuminating the bar.
there you were.
standing quietly, head nodding along to the blasting instrumentals, drink in hand; you were heart-stopping. and he was pretty sure his did. even if he’d never seen you face-to-face, he’d memorised the soft plump of your lips, alluring light in your eyes, even the way your hair fell against your skin from the photos he'd seen. there was no doubt it was you, and my god, you were beautiful. he couldn’t even stop his legs if he tried, as they carried him over to you.
"y/n?" his voice barely travelled through the sound waves, but it hit your ear like a familiar embrace.
turning to him, eyes wide and bright in the twinkling of the bar lights. you drunk him in, warm eyes swallowing every part of him. you'd seen pictures, again, but it could never compare to him. dark brown skin, soft to its complexion, hugged his bones in every perfect way; folding at the creases of his handsome face. he was tall, very tall, and the detail of the curves and indents of his muscles, altered by the shadows of the dim bar light, made your head fuzzy. god, he was beautiful – nothing that a digital screen could ever portray with justice.
"hobie," your voice was crisper than he was used to, and he would bottle it if he could, "hey, handsome, you got a–"
"come 'ere," he interrupted, essentially scooping you into his tense embrace, melting into your scent, the feel of you in his arms. his heart was pounding against his chest. you wrapped yourself around him, running your hands along his leather jacket, ghosting the skin below it.
"you interrupted my introduction," you pouted against his shoulder, "had a whole little joke planned and everything, you know."
"go on, hit me, love," he pulled back a tiny bit, his arms still glued around your waist, looking down through his lashes. you faltered under his intense gaze, giddy smile bursting onto your face and you buried your head in his chest.
"nuh uh, not anymore," you shook your head against him, "you ruined it."
his hand came up to touch your face whilst you spoke, following the edge of your hairline and tucking your hair around your shoulder. he was in awe, having you here, having you with him. tightening his embrace, he didn't want to let you go – ever.
"mhmm," his voice vibrated his chest, and you pulled away, "i'm sure it was hilarious, love."
"it really was," you chuckled, giddy in his presence.
the air grew thicker, your laughter dying out and left with just his strong gaze, his dark brown eyes following yours. you could barely comprehend him being here, in front of you, around you, and he was so much more than you had imagined. feeling his calloused hand caress your cheek, you leaned into his touch, inviting him into your world. cupping your face, hobie bought himself to you, leaning down until his pierced lips were ghosting your own. months he'd dreamed of this, imagined how it would feel to kiss his girl, to taste your lips and feel your love. he could feel your breath, and you were about to give in, until you pulled away.
"wait, i–" you swallowed thickly, pulling your touch from him.
"what's up, darlin'?" his eyes scanned your face for any sign of reason, "did i do somethin'?"
"no! no, you," you sighed, "you're perfect, it's not you."
he'd be lying through his teeth if he denied the pit of anxiety building deep in his stomach, bubbling up his throat.
"what is it?"
"i–" you stuttered again, and fought to get your words out of your brain and into the thick air of the bar, "i haven't been telling you the truth."
silence. just for a second. hobie's brain working over time.
"look, if you've got another fella, or somethin', just get it over with–"
"no! no, hobie, i'm yours, i promise," your words settled him for a second.
"my parents don't care about us, they aren't strict, in fact, they were happy when i told them about you," you begun, opening the dam.
"they know about me?" his voice was smaller than you were used to, and if your brain had a spare synapse to process it, you'd probably have melted.
"yes, and i'm sorry i haven't told you," you avoided his eyes, "it's my ex."
"oh, fuckin' 'ell," he sighed, dropping his arms to his side, and he's about to speak, until you interrupt.
"we broke up years ago, but he's never left me alone," you ring your wrists with your hands nervously, and hobie notices – you looked terrified, "i've tried everything; i've tried the police, i've moved countless times, i've changed jobs, made new friends, met new people – he won't leave me be."
tears welled up now, and his heart reached for you, but his arms stayed stuck by his side.
"every guy that i meet, he's, i don't know, calling them telling them i'm someone i'm not, or following them home and slashing tires, or roughing them up outside pubs," paranoia enveloped you, and your eyes darting around the crowd, "i was so scared, because you're the best i've ever had, and probably will ever have, and i don't want him to scare you off."
"y/n–"
"and i understand if this has done exactly what i'm scared of, because i get that keeping it from you was awful, but i was only trying to protect you and–"
his lips cut you off, warm against your own, capturing your words and pushing them back down your throat. hands on your cheeks, body flush against your own, you melted into him completely. it felt like heaven, like months of tension and longing unravelling like ribbon into the wind. it was safe, gentle, like a promise – a promise that it didn't scare him, and that he was yours.
"is he here?" his voice was low, lips hovering yours.
"i-i don't know," you were flustered, your brain trying to make sense of it all, but his hand on the small of your back stopped any cognitive thoughts, "i haven't seen him."
watching him, hobie's dark eyes floated around the crowd, before falling back onto you. smirk on his lips, he placed a quick peck onto your cheek.
"hmm, i hope he enjoyed the show," he chuckled lowly, and you couldn't help but mimic it, relief flooding off your shoulders, "how about we go somewhere a bit safer?"
"like where?" you questioned, intrigued by the coaxing tone of his voice.
"well, i only live around the corner," he shrugged, before offering his hand. blushing, you slipped your hand into his, the soft skin of his fingers pulling you towards him, until he threw his arm around your shoulder.
"nothing could scare me off, you know," he whispered, placing a kiss to your hair, "i'm 'ard as nails."
"oh yeah?" you giggled.
"mhmm."
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clothed eyes glued to the suspicious figure, hobie stood on a rooftop, footsteps silent as he follows the man below. tailing him through the cobbled back lanes of london, hobie's back tingled with apprehension – he'd been following him for at least a mile, waiting for a perfect opportunity.
and he'd finally found it.
pausing his heavy stroll, the man dug into his pockets and pulled out a slightly crushed pack of cigarettes, fumbling further for a lighter. a small orange glow lit up the air around him as he puffed away, smoke fluttering to meet hobie's nose.
silently, hobie swung to a platform below, pulling his guitar tighter against his back and dropped to the hard ground. the sound of his leather boots colliding with the cobble made the man turn in his direction, eyes wide at the sight.
"spiderman?" the man breathed between puffs, voice hoarse, "can i help you?"
"you know what, i think you can," hobie strutted, hands stuffed into his leather jacket, lanky stance towering him, "are you y/n's ex fella?"
"who's asking?" he questioned stupidly, and hobie let out a laugh.
"bruv, who's– are you stupid or somethin'?" hobie punched him lightly in the shoulder, "do you not see the whole get up?"
"the fuck have you got to do with y/n?" he spat, defensive stance taking over his body.
"none of your business," hobie knew that would sting, "but you're gonna leave her alone, fella."
"you don't know what you're talking about."
"i'm not askin', mate," hobie stepped closer, "and i'm not givin' you a choice."
before he could even utter a response, hobie had swung his spike-studded arm in his direction, knuckles colliding against the pathetic man's jaw, knocking him to the ground below.
"tha's my girl you're messin' with now."
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f1boistrash · 8 months ago
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nowhere else i'd rather be | l.s
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a/n: here is more of logan x verstappen!reader. i've also got another part in the works which i'm excited to start
summary: you comfort logan after the news broke that he wouldn't be racing in the australian grand prix
<- previous part
You were in the Red Bull garage when the news was announced. You had heard the rumors after Alex's crash in free practice one but you didn't think they would actually do it or at least you hoped they wouldn't. Williams had given Alex Logan's car for the rest of the weekend and you were angry.
You quietly left before anyone noticed, making your way to Logan's room for the weekend. No one batted an eye, too focused on getting the car ready for free practice two so you were able to sneak in. You found his room easily, the layout similar to Red Bulls garage, and knocked on the door. You heard some movement inside but no one came to open the door.
"Logan? It's me, Y/N." You tried again. You didn't want to just barge in but you also wanted to see him, to make sure he was okay. Well as okay as anyone can be in this situation.
"The doors open." You heard him mumble and you quickly slipped inside.
The sight before you broke your heart. Logan was sat on his couch, his head in his hands. He looked defeated. You sat down next to him, immediately wrapping your arms around him. It was like a dam broke inside as tears started falling. You held him tightly, your way of letting him know you weren't going anywhere. It took everything for you to not go in James' office and give him a piece of your mind for treating Logan like this.
It was a few minutes before Logan sat up, moving out of your arms. He brushed his hand over his face as if he was trying to hide the fact he was crying. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, too embarrassed to look at you.
"You don't need to apologize, Logan. What they did was shit. You have every right to be upset." You told him, placing your hand over his. "I don't ever wanna hear you apologize for your feelings, okay?"
"Thanks, Y/N." Logan thanked you, sending you what was probably the first genuine smile of the day. "You being here means a lot."
"There's no where else I'd rather be." You admitted, heat rising to your cheeks at your admission. Before you could hide, afraid you made the situation weird, Logan cupped your cheek and leaned forward. Neither of you had a chance to make a move before your phone went off, interrupting the moment. You cursed silently at your brother for choosing now to text you. "I should probably get going or Max will send out a search party."
"Yeah, I should probably show my face in the garage." Logan groaned. He didn't want to but knew he had to keep up appearances for the team.
"I'll text you later." You promised him as he walked you to the door. You hugged Logan goodbye and left but not before you bumped into Alex. "Hey Alex."
"Hey Y/N." He called after you. Alex then turned to Logan giving him a knowing smirk.
"We're just friends." Logan said, trying to convince himself more than anything because there was no way he could have a crush on a fellow drivers sister. Alex grinned at his teammate, not believing him one bit.
-x-
Logan was nervous. More nervous than he was before he got into his car on race days. He had no reason to though because you were just friends. That's what he kept telling himself, afraid of embarrassing himself in front of you. You had texted earlier that you were coming over to his hotel room, bringing food with you, and since then Logan was on edge. It felt like a date but you hadn't said anything to suggest it was.
A knock on the door broke him out of his thoughts. He opened the door and there you were, takeout bags in each hand and a grin on your face. It was enough for the nervousness Logan had to melt away. "I heard about this place from Oscar and he reckons its the best food in Melbourne. So if its bad we can just blame him." You said as you walked into his room. "And I know it may be breaking our diet but we can just do an extra lap of the track tomorrow." You rambled on, taking the boxes out of the bag. When Logan didn't say anything you looked up, seeing him softly smiling at you making you self conscious. "I'm overstepping, aren't I? I am so sorry. You probably want to be by yourself now after today. I'll leave you alone now."
"Please don't." Logan pleaded, interrupting your spiraling thoughts. He gently grabbed your hand to stop you from leaving his room. "I enjoy your company. In fact you're making this whole weekend bearable." Logan pulled you close, his nose brushing yours. "So please don't leave." He mumbled against your lips before kissing you. You melted into his kiss, forgetting any worries you had.
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inthestarsme · 5 months ago
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Solar return Observations pt. 2
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‼️Don't repost my Observations without consent and mentioning my page‼️
Hello girliieees how are you? I thought i'd give you a new post, as i am very much procrastinating. Honestly, i dont really have much to say soo... lets just get started!
Befor i start: these are just some random things i observe from people with these placements. They might fit you but they dont have to. I wsnt to emphasize this as i tend to also talk about darker stuff, and i dont want people to get scared. Everything i'm writing could totally not apply to you, so please take everything woth a grain of salt!
Now lets go!
Venus conjunct 10th house: For some reason, people in general perceive you to be more attractive and desireable. If you also have some good placements in your sr 5th or 7th house or the ruler of your sr 7th house is taurus or libra, you might even attract more love interests than usual.
Uranus in the 7th house: I know i've talked about my Uranus conjunct Jupiter in the 7th house in relation to sudden, unexpected things happening in your love life, which it definately means, but it can also make your love life more unconventional, in whatever way this applies to your life. For me, it was finding out i'm bi and dating the same gender for the first time in my life. Of course it isn't weird or anything like that, but me finding this out was completely unexpected, because i was always someone who was very keen on saying "i'm straight, but i'm a big ally", so completely going the opposite way was unconventional for me, although it felt exactly the same as dating the opposite gender. In the end it didn't work out, but i found out something major about myself, and am still figuring shit out (i'm honestly not 100 percent sure abouz my sexuality, but its a step in the right direction letting this part of myself free).
12th house stellium: No matter why or how (you can see this through other placements in your chart), but definately a year where you might struggle with your mental health (please get yourself professional help if needed), BUT at the same time it could be a year, where you might go on a transcontinental trip, as the 12th house also relates to international travel.
Saturn in the 6th house: For some reason, your everyday work and routine might feel very harsh and restricting and you might really struggle because of it. Please, even though sometimes its just life, always try to still respect your mental health and dont drive yourself into a burnout. But generally, when you're going through this, taking into account your mental health can be a good way to balance this out.
Pluto in the 3rd house: I can only talk about my own experience, but this solar return year i've had this placement and i've definately had my struggle with friends and have already lost an entire friend group. But as Pluto also relates to tramsformation through heavier experiences, i am really hoping i lost these friends to make space for new and better friends and for myself to be a better friend through learning from those experiences. I've also been sensing that the people i am surrounded with might not necessarily be the kind of people i would want as my friends, not because they are bad people but because characterwise we are very different. So maybe it could also just change the way you see your friendships.
North node in the 6th house: If you have this in your sr, a very important thing for you this year is to get into physical fitness, whatever this means to you, and generally taking more care of your body/physical health. So if you havent started yet, i would recommend trying it! Or just more generally, getring healthier routines.
Mercury conjunct Mars in the 10th house: You might be known for speaking more harshly to others this year.
Neptune in Pisces: I know i've talked about this placement before because i dont like this placement, and i need to emphasize this. No matter where you have it, it can mean you experience some kind of hurt due to some these factors
- some kind of illusion making you to not be able to see the reality
- you or other people having mental health stuggles
- you could go into a mental health spiral because of what you experience, where you might not be able to see everything as it is
- you might even be the one putting illusions on others
In the best case it can mean having a very spiritual experience. But i truly advice you, if you are struggeling mentally in some way, please get yourself professional help. Its hard but you can get through it!
Okay soo, i think this is it for now. Thank you so much for reading and see you next time. Lots of love and byeee <3
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yuyu1024 · 4 months ago
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Dating app
Pairings: San x Y/N
Genre/tags: stranger to something more
Warning: 🔞 mdni, angst? smut, dirty talk, cursing, pet names (baby and noona), unprotected sex (be safe everyone), small age gap, phone sex?
~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 4.9k ish
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
A/N: another San one shot. This one is from my draft from few weeks ago. Just finished it.
Masterlist
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It has been two years since you last dated. Your ex broke your heart and trust in men. Which also affected your self-esteem BIG time.
But here you are now, years later trying. With a little help of technology.
"If you find a match... just swipe right." Your friend tells you while you speak with her through loudspeaker. "But of course, check his profile first and use your instinct."
"But what if... I don't get a match?" You nervously say as you button your pajama top.
"Then no match... you can try again tomorrow... the next day... and then the next day... until you find a matches and pick whoever you want to talk to."
"Talk?" You grab your phone that is laying on top of your bed. "We... need to talk?" You sound nervous
"Girl... of course! How should you know a guy if you don't talk to him?"
"I thought... we just... text...like... like in the beginning..."
"Oh well... if you message someone... and find him okay... you need to tell him your situation.. that you are shy and it takes time for you to receive calls..."
You flop you face down your mattress while sitting on the carpet. "I think guys will find me weird and boring." You mumble.
"For some guys.. maybe... but there are guy who find these things cute or interesting.. so... it's okay."
"You're so nice to me, Unnie."
"I'm helping you... because you are my friend... and you are like a younger sister for me..."
"Thank you!"
"Don't mention it... just stay calm and don't rush... and if you need something to make you brave, take a few shots of soju... knowing you... you might not even open the app tonight." She teases
"You know me so well." You laugh
"Okay... goodluck!"
***
An hour later after scrolling through the app. Swiping left more than you imagine and almost giving up, the notification sound of a DM made you almost drop your phone on your face.
"Shit!" You hiss as you see the red dot on the corner of your phone. Contemplating if you'll read it or not.
But then you saw his profile picture. "Fuck it! I'll read it!" You say. Or should we say its the soju that's talking.
🖤: hi
And after you read his message, a new message comes in.
🖤: how's your day?
"He's asking about my day?" You wonder. "Hmm... atleast his not asking for nudes or anything." You chuckle at your remark
💖: my day was hectic but survived it.
💖: you?
He reads it immediately
🖤: not that great.
🖤: but I did go to the gym to workout
🖤: i feel a little better
You pause after you read his message and click on his profile.
"Ohhh... he's... younger than me." You mumble
🖤: did that make you check my profile?
"Shit."
You try to type an excuse so he would not think that you are one thirsty ass woman
🖤: don't worry. I won't judge you.
You sigh as you read his message. "Let's just be honest..."
💖: I checked your profile because I was curious about your age.
🖤: does age matter to you?
💖: i don't think so...
💖: it's just that, I haven't dated a guy who is younger than me.
🖤: hmm, I see.
💖: how about you? does age matter to you?
🖤: no.
Then there is a few second gap between his next message
🖤: I messaged you first remember?
You two messaged each other for a while. You guys talked about simple things only at first. The common questions; favorite food, movie, drinks, places to go, snacks, music and hobbies. It even went on you talking about one guy you tried dating before using the app.
It even sounded that you were ranting to him because of how awful that blind date. That you don't have a choice to go since it was referred by a family friend.
You texted so fucking long that it reached to the point that you don't even noticed the time. Weird enough, you don't even feel sleepy even after taking four shots of soju earlier.
Not gonna lie, you even look excited talking to this stranger all of a sudden.
🖤: are you not tired yet?
"Crap!" You cover you eyes with your pillow. "I talked too much... he must want for me to stop replying..."
💖: oh, sorry. I must be keeping you awake. Sorry for being talkative.
🖤: it's okay. I'm not sleepy anyways.
🖤: i'm just worried you wanted to sleep but you try to keep me company.
💖: no... i'm good. :)
🖤: you don't have work tomorrow?
💖: I don't. I'm off tomorrow.
💖: going to a friend's wedding
🖤: i see.
Then you see the dot moving at the bottom of the screen. He is typing but it's taking quite a time.
"What is he typing...?" You murmur, curious
*pings*
🖤: can I please get your number and call you?
You jolt up your bed and gaps "what?!"
This is what your friend is worried about. Your introvert ass and you issues with talking to strangers at phone.
But then come to think of it, you have talked to him for hours now. Like since seven to now almost midnight. And you seem comfortable with him. However he is still a stranger.
Shit. Now you are all over the place! You don't know what to reply
🖤: please?
🖤: i want to hear your voice.
"Crap. Crap. Crap... crap!" You get up from your bed in panic and went to your bathroom to wash your face and then run outside your room, to the kitchen and grab a glass of water. "You are such a weirdo, y/n!" You say to yourself
🖤: you must be panicking coz a stranger is asking for your number
🖤: if you are not comfortable giving it... I understand.
You read his messages as you tap your foot nervously while holding the glass of water on your other hand
"I need to be honest." You tell yourself. "Yeah... I need to.."
💖: I'm so sorry. I not yet comfortable to give it and talk through voice call. We just met.. or should I say, started to connect.
💖: I hope you understand.
💖: and sorry for being weird.
🖤: I understand. :)
🖤: and no... you're not weird.
You put the glass of water on the counter and then melt on the floor as relief rush through your whole body
*ping*
🖤: i'm going to bed now. I have to get up early later. Thank you for accepting my DM and chatting with me. I hope we get to know each other more.
🖤: and also...
🖤: here is my number XX-XXXX-XXX
🖤: call me when you're ready.
****
The next day, you left in the morning to get to your friend's wedding. You had woke up early, dressed up nicely, fixed your hair and put make up on which more than you usually do. However, you missed your alarm! You woke up 15mins after which is a pretty big deal since you are very much slow when it comes to getting ready. Plus the traffic on the way is a cherry on top.
You are just glad you didn't missed seeing her walking down the isle. Or else she will kill you if you missed it.
"Y/n, thank you for coming." Your friend says as you two hug.
"Oh gosh! You're one beautiful bride!" You say as you hug her tightly. "Congrats to the both of you..." you say, smiling to the newly weds
"Unnie said you were late..."
"I was... I didn't expect the traffic on the way here."
"I heard there was an accident... my cousin too almost came late because of it." The groom says
"Oh... that's unfortunate. I hope no one got hurt in that accident."
"Yeah..." you agree
And then as you continue to chat with your friend, her husband and a few other old classmate from college, your phone vibrates from your bag. Someone must've texted you. But you chose not to check it as you are still busy chatting and you think it's not that important anyways. However, a few minutes have passed and it started to vibrate nonstop.
"It might be important. Just answer it... it's fine." One of your friend says
"Ahm... yeah... I am meeting a friend so..." you cautiously explain
"Oh. You're not going to the reception?" The bride ask
"Sorry... there was a conflict in my sched today... I said yes forgetting the time of your wedding..."
"It must be important... it's fine.. atleast you were present in my ceremony..." she smiles and hug you. "Go... we can do another celebration... with our group next time. After I come home from my honeymoon..."
"Sure! I promise I will be there. Congrats again."
After the hugs and goodbyes with everyone, you hurry your way out of the place. The sound of your heels are echoing off the walls because of the marble floor.
You pick up the call while catching your breathe as you go down. "Hello?"
"Finally... you answered." A low, rapsy voice says across the line.
"I'm sorry... I was talking to my friends and the newlyweds."
"Where are you?"
"I'm just about to get out of the hotel."
"Okay." You hear him breathe a smile. "I can't wait to continue what we left off last night."
Fuck. You can feel your cheeks go hot and red as you hear the man across the line. Who would've thought that the guy you were messaging through the dating app last night, the same guy you said you can't give your number yet is actually talking so sexy to you right now. In the middle of the fucking day.
How? What happened last night?
*****(last night)
You read his text. His number.
💖: ok. Thank you for understanding.
💖: goodnight, San.
🖤: goodnight, y/n
That was supposed to be it. Goodnight and goodbye for now.
But then the stupidity in you kicked in or the clumpsy fingers or whatever.
You were trying to save his number in your phone. You were supposed to long press it, copy and paste into your phonebook and save. However you didn't pressed long enough that it actually just tapped it and dialling it. Weird right? That's not how it should be coz it should have a pop up asking you if you want to call.
BUT the dating app... yeah... it just went through
You did end the call one ring in when you realized what just had happened. Nonetheless you stopped it.
💖: sorry.. I didn't mean to dial.
💖: again, goodnight.
Exhaling all the nerves out of your system when you didn't get a reply. Meaning he is asleep and didn't noticed it. Phew!
You then drag yourself back to your bed to actually try to go to sleep since you need to be fresh for tomorrow.
Pillows in place, blanket over you and lampshade off. You close your eyes already and begin to catch your sleep. When all of a sudden your phone rings.
Without opening your eyes, you grab your phone and answer. "Hello?"
"Did I woke you up?"
Your eyes widens as you hear a deep and unfamiliar voice. You check the number and you curse under your breathe when you saw that it's him.
"Do you want me to believe that you just accidentally called me?" He say, sounding like he is glad you did call him. Coz one, he finally got your number and he didn't have to actually wait
"I swear... I didn't... I... I was just... trying to save it. I didn't know how.. Its my first time using this app... s-so..." you stutter as you explain
He breathes a laugh, "it's okay... No need to explain."
You didn't speak after. You are trying to process the situation now.
"Are you uncomfortable hearing me? Or talking to me?"
You shake your head. "No..."
"Then... why are you suddenly quiet..."
"Well... because..."
"Well?"
"You sound hot..." you blurt out.
He releases a very hearty deep laugh. He's caught off guard by your compliment.
"Do I now?" He says, "you're not bad as well... you sound the way I imagined you sound..."
Imagine. He... imagined you?
"Annoying?" You ask
"No... you sound beautiful."
Your cheeks heats up. Fuck. He sounds hot through the texting but damn he sound more hot talking and with his voice.
"I thought you were going to sleep already... w-why did you call?"
"Hmm... I can't help it. I went to the bathroom to shower and then when I get back to my bed... I saw the notification." He pauses for a second and then adds, "my heart fluttered when I knew it was you."
"You're so good at doing this huh..."
"Doing what?"
"This... making my heart skip a beat with your words... and now... your voice and the way you speak."
He chuckles again, "you are way more honest and open talking than texting...I like that." He says, "But baby, I think you're labelling me as someone who goes to this dating app and flirt with everyone, anyone who replies or DMs me..." he clicks his tongue, "I'm not like that... like you... I'm just new to this. A month ago new."
"Really?"
"I promise."
"How come?"
"I don't know... it's not my thing."
"Then what made you do it?"
"Hmm..." you hear shuffling across the call. He probaby went to bed or moved around his bed. "A friend told me to try... he got tired of being my wingman."
Now its you who is chuckling. "My friend too... that's why I opened an account earlier."
"Interesting..." he breathes, "what are you doing now?"
"Laying in bed..."
"And...?"
"Talking to you..."
"That's it?"
"Yeah...why? what else am I supposed to do..?"
"You're adorable." He smiles
"Hmm... you?" You innocently ask
He was silent for a few seconds. "What answer you want to hear?"
"W-what? I don't... understand..."
Then while you wait for his answer, you hear his breathing change. He took a deep breathe and it sound shaky.
"I can be honest with you... but baby... I don't want to scare you away..."
Your head begins to spin by a weird thought that popped in your brain.
"What is it?"
"Do you really want to know?" His voice went an octave lower.
"Yes..."
His lips curves into a smile, pleased that you said yes. "I'm actually... touching myself... more specifically... I'm pumping my dick."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
"W-why?" You can't hide the shakiness in your breathe. It's not that you are flabbergasted by what he is doing and him telling you for real. But, you are being affected.
It's been two years since you dated. Meaning its also been that long since you had a dick in you. And this... him, San, talking to you like this and describing you what he's doing is making something purr under those white panties that you are wearing.
"What you mean why?" He asks, realing you back from your thoughts. "I am talking to you... and your voice is turning me on."
"Don't be silly..."
"I'm not... I can let you hear it if you want... or maybe... show you if you don't believe me..." the way he said those words sounds very teasing and tempting. "You're suddenly quiet... c'mon tell me what you want... I don't mind."
Pressing your thighs together whilst bitting your lower lip, you try to think before you speak. You need to be rational with this. You just fucking met this guy through a dating app hours ago and he's already offering you to see him touch himself or atleast make you hear it.
It's wrong. Very wrong. But...
"Ughhh...." he groans. You can hear him take quick breathes and fight a moan through his lips.
"Are you close?" You ask. Your voice is almost a whisper
"No... not yet..."
"Does it feel good though?"
"Yeah... but I probably will come sooner if..."
"If what?"
"If we both do it..."
Squirming under your blanket, you are very tempted. You can already feel a pool building up in your core by just the way he speaks to you now. You are that dry in that department.
"Y/n... are you touching yourself?" He asks
"Hmmm..." you hum as you're so shy to answer.
"What are you touching..? Don't be shy... tell me..."
Your mouth opens to speak but a needy groan escapes your lips. "I'm...nnnghhh... my tits..."
"Are your nipples hard?"
"Ngghhh... yeah..."
"Fuck..." he hisses. "You sound so sexy... so needy..."
"Ahhh..." you turn to your side, squeazing your tits with one hand while your hand is still holding on the the phone
"Put it on loud speaker baby... please yourself...and listen to how my dick sounds like... wet with pre cum and imagine it... pounding you..."
What the fuck is going on... this started sweet and casual talk only but then just as when the clock strikes midnight, you are now phone sexing with a stranger.
"Are you wet already?"
"V-very..." you breathe as your fingers are now in your panties and circling slow and sensually over your clit. "I'm not good at this... I don't know if I can make myself cum..."
"Do you want my help?"
"How...?"
"Let's meet... not now but... maybe tomorrow? If you are okay with it."
And fuck, you agreed.
****(Present)
"Found you."
You yelp as you hear his whisper from behind you. Almost dropping your phone in the process.
"You scared me!" You say, hands on your chest
Looking up to see, to finally see the guy you just had phone sex or whatever it is called last night, is actually standing in front of you now.
He is wearing a all black fit shirt underneath his cool looking brown leather jacket. And damn, he looks fine as hell. He already looked handsome in his profile picture and a few headshots in the dating app but in real life? His shoulder is wide, he is taller than you, his plump pinkish lips, his beautiful freckles and his voice. He's not human. He is more of a goddess.
"Sorry... I didn't mean to scare you." He puts down his phone and slid it in his pocket which you mimic. "How's the wedding?"
"It was amazing..." you answer, "almost didn't make it but... I ran as fast as I could."
He frowns and then looks at your shoes, "In those heels?"
You glance at your feet and then raise your gaze to his face. He looks not pleased but then with a hint of worry. "Yeah..."
"Is your feet fine?" He then goes down on his knees and suddenly touches one of your feet. You panic and get embarassed.
"Hey... what are you doing?" You hiss, holding onto his shoulder, tapping. You are asking him to get up. "Please... get up..."
"Why are you being acting funny?" He smiles
"Funny? Me? No!" You turn your back on him and start walking ahead.
"Baby," he calls and then holding on to your forearm, stopping you from walking. "Where are you going? That's not the way to where we agreed to go..."
"Oh..."
He is smirking. He is enjoying how flustered you are. "You're so adorable..." he mumbles. And then his hand slides down your forearm until it reaches your hands. He locked his fingers with yours as if, that is where it should have been in the first place. "Just follow me... okay?"
"You know... this is very out of character for me..." you quietly say as you two walk. "I usually say no... or run away... from creeps."
"So you think... I'm a creep?" He arches a brow, glancing at you
"A little...." you shyly answer
"Hmm... I understand..." he chuckles. "I acted a little out of character too... you know... masturbating and coming so intensely just from your voice and moans through the phone..."
"San!" You squeal and try to cover his mouth your hands. "Seriously? Why are you saying that so loud?"
He moves away, teasing you as you can't reach his mouth to cover it. "Why are you embarassed of what made you feel good?"
Blushing you look away. A little embarassed. Not because you didn't like what you guys did last night. You enjoyed it so much, thats not queationable. But it's just that, you have never been this open about sensual or sexual things. Even with your exes. Yeah you fuck with them but thats it. No talks like this before or after. Like sex is just a routine. (Also not that you had a handful of exes as well.)
But then look at this stranger, he... he is already doing a complete opposite of all your exes from the beginning to the last. He's very vocal and you are not used to it. Nonetheless, you like. You are just.... shy.
***
"Fuck!" You gasp as he pushes you against the wall and started making out with you like its his last day of living in this world. San is a beast. A hungry beast!
"I'm sorry.... if... we are skipping... a few step... in getting to know each other." He says in between kisses. "I can't help myself... the moment I saw you from afar... I am already drooling..."
"Ughh!" You throw your head back, eyes shut and mouth open as his lips trail down from your jaw, neck and to your collarbone. Whilst his hand is busy squeezing your ass under.
"You can tell me to stop... whenever you feel uncomfortable... okay?" He asks before sucking your skin, leaving a red mark. "Answer me, baby."
Opening your eyes, you see him staring at you with such desire and yearning. "Okay..." your voice is weak already. Nothing even happened yet. You two are just kissing and grinding at each other.
"Good girl..." the satisfide smile on his face, ugh, so hot.
He lifts you up, gripping on your thights, proceeds on carrying you inside his apartment. You arms wrapped around his neck and forehead, leaning onto his.
"We are definitely moving pass the dating stage huh..." you say
"Don't worry, baby. We have time to date... just right now... I cannot wait to please you."
Smiling while bitting your lip, "stop calling me baby. I'm not a child." You playfully tell him
"What do you want me to call you then?" He gently puts you down his bed and goes on to kneel in front of you. "Darling? Honey? Babe?"
You wrinkle your nose, shaking your head. "No..."
"Then what?"
"Hmmm.... noona?"
He raises both eyebrows, looking a bit surprised by your choice. "Is this about our four year gap?" He asks as he removes his jacket off and then throws it somewhere
You shrug your shoulders, "maybe..."
"Okay.... I can call you noona... but in one condition...or a few."
"And what are they?"
"I know we just met... but I don't fuck around baby..." he begins as he slowly lifts your skirt up to your thighs. "Delete the dating app... delete your account... or any fucker who you tried dating you in your phone. Coz...from now on... you are mine... okay?"
He dives his head under your skirt, spreads your legs and went straight to your clothed core and begins to kiss you. Right there, in the middle.
"Oh!" You inhale a sharp hiss as you feel his soft lips touching you.
Chills run up from your spine and your heart starts to beat faster than a horse. This is new and this is thrilling.
"You haven't answered me yet..." he gets up, moves closer to you and take you by your chin. His two fingers lightly touching and making you look up. "You're mine now... got it?"
You open your mouth to speak. "Y-yes..."
A smile spread across his lips and cheeks. "Good..." he leans lower and forward, hovering you. "And I'm yours... noona." He whispers.
Showered by gentle kisses right below your ears and neck is making you go insane. But him calling you noona, with that deep ass voice, you are leaking down there already.
"Kiss me..." you whisper, eyes shut. "Kiss me more..."
Your back is now the bed and he is on top of you. He obeys your wishes while he satisfy his hands with massaging your tits. He is pinching your nipples hard even under that cream blouse you are wearing. He even likes to rub his thumb over it from time to time.
"San..." you say, pulling away your brusied lips from his. "I need you to fuck me now... please?"
"Okay..." he gets up on his knees and then you start to undress as he begins to take his shirt off.
He is ripped. Dang, you hit a jackpot!
"Liking what you are seeing?" He sounds cocky but you don't give a damn.
He can be cocky all he wants coz he is one of God's greatest creation. Especially that thick, throbbing dick. It's perfect. You just know it.
"I don't have condoms with me nor in my bathroom... is it okay?"
"I don't care. Just get in me!" You jump forward at him and crash your lips to his again.
This time, both of you are skimming your hands from all over each other's body. Making sure you both touch every curve and every turn ons to make this session more intense.
"You're so fucking wet." He smirks. He is cupping you down there. "This laced panties need to go..." he then goes to rip it off you. Intense but so fucking sexy. "It's as wet as I imagined it to be..."
"Aahh!" Your mouth drops the second he inserts one digit in.
"This is how fingering works, noona..." he whispers, kissing you by the jaw. Each sound of each kiss echoes into your ears. "Does it feel good?"
"Yes!" Hips starts to move along with his rythm. "Aah!" You squeal as he adds one digit. "San!" You hug him, holding onto him tight. "Please... I need you in me... I want to feel you now..."
Slowly he pulls out his fingers, spreading all your juices over your pussy and then wipe the rest onto his veiny cock.
"Lay down..."
You do as he says and as soon as your head rested on the pillows by the headboard, you spread yourself wide open for him to see you. Everything.
"My little pussy." He says, aligning his length in your entrance. "Fuck... just feeling you by the tip is driving me insane..."
He eases himself in. It burns. But its not a painful burn. It's something you can't describe besides fire, heat, burn or whatever.
"Ngghhhhaaa... holy crap!"
He is pounding you so hard, so strong that the bed, his bed, is actually moving and creaking. His hands are on the headboard, eyes locked in watching you unravel as you reach your turning point.
"San!" You gasp, putting your hands on his chest. "I can't... I can't keep it any longer... aah!" You shut your eyes as you feel something in your stomach, ready to burst. "Aaah! Fuck! It's so good!" You pant.
"Look at me...." he breathe. He is sweating and his ears are so red. "Look at me when you come... I want to see you loose it. Noona... look at me."
Your mouth is open in an O. Taking short and quick breathes as you prepare yourself to let out the loudest moan you've been trying to hold onto all this time.
And then, just a few more dig into you. "S-san..." his name is the only thing you could let out. Your legs and hands are shaking. It felt like you've ran a 15k marathon in a span of 20mins. You are weak as fuck. However, he is not done yet.
Your eyes are barely open but you still manage to watch him go on, reaching for his peak.
"Noona..." he calls, lowering down so he could give you a smooch. "Your moans are music to my ears..." he say. "And you're still tight after all that...?"
You smile weakly and tease him by clenching more causing him to hiss, biting his lip and whimper softly. He sounds cute whimpering, whining for your tightness.
"I'm now close..." he lightly puts his weight on you, hugging you and burying his face on your neck. "Shit...ahh... ahh... ugh!"
Warm liquid coats your walls and fills it to the brim. Like literally. You can feel him pump in you like there's no tomorrow.
"Holy shit." He chuckles as he get ups to look at the mess he did. "I guess... no sleeping in my bed tonight..."
"What?" You get up and saw the pool of cum coming out of you and him. "Oh no... I'm sorry!"
"Sssh...." he pushes the hairs off your face and kisses your lips for reassurance. "No need to worry... a bed is nothing compared to what you gave me..."
"This is so wrong..." you mumble all of a sudden. "I just had sex with you..."
"And?"
You press your thighs together, hiding you exposed pussy from him. "I just can't believe it."
"Do you regret it?"
You look away, shy. "Of course not..."
"Then why do you act like you do?" He kisses you on the cheek, making you look back at him.
"Are we going to be official? Like...go on dates? Like... you know..."
"A couple?"
You nod.
"Like I said... you're mine now. That means... no one can take you but me..." leaning again for a kiss but this time its softer and have a hint of reassurance to it. "You're my noona... my girl."
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starsworldd · 1 year ago
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Solar Observations pt. 7
readings are open! ⛓️
please take with a grain of salt ⛓️
I used orbs of 3 degrees for aspects from whole signs ⛓️
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👾 some of my best sr years have been the years where i’ve had the same sr venus as my natal
👾 looking at the persona chart of your profected year lord can give you a lot of insights for the year ahead i’ve found
👾 chiron on the mc (both solar or natal x solar) shows a year of yearning for something very badly (most likely to be career/goal/experience related)
👾 having positive mercury-saturn aspects (including conjunction depending on sign) is a year where you are on top of your shit, maybe you feel like you conversations with others are thwarted in some way but better than most you’re preparing for something bigger, plans, plans, PLANS!!
👾 saturn conjunct mercury is a really interesting aspect actually for a solar return. it maybe harder to categorize and to process the world around you in a productive way, but you may also learn new subjects/wisdom.
👾 having venus at 28 degrees can indicate an exciting love/crush/relationship happening for that year
👾 moon at 29 degrees can show that from that year on out you will approach life from a very different mindset to what you had before. this mindset can last for a year or your entire life but either way it’s an anaretic degree so BIG STUFF! the sign can show what mindset you’re “ending” (ex: i had moon at 29 degrees in taurus in 2020 and from that year on out i really prioritized productivity and worked to stop my lazy/indulgent habits)
👾 planets at 20 degrees and what house those planets are in can show what themes/events prove to be very mystical or witchy that year. (ex: i had mars and neptune at 20 degrees with mars in the 7th and neptune in the 11th and that year i got back with my old friend group out of random chance and went on my first date with someone from that group😭😭 not me telling you guys my life tea. dating within friend groups is weird and would not recommend btw! but to each their own🩷)
👾 planets at the 1st degree + their houses show where you’re ambitious and what you desire, expect lots of action in these areas
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👾 1st house ruler in 1st (aka your chart ruler in one of its domicile places) may mean that your by yourself or more alone, but most likely NOT in a bad way!! (self-care, self-improvement, reflection, etc…). check other houses that the planet rules to see what other important themes are emphasized that year (ex: libra venus in 1st house —> 8th house themes are important as well because taurus rules over the 8th)
👾 going off from the previous observation, planets in angular houses (1, 4, 7, 10) will ALWAYS be prominent throughout your year especially if they’re in domicile/exaltation/detriment/fall.
👾 a lot of celebrities have gotten big time famous the year where they had their 11th house in their 11th (ex: megan thee stallion, doja cat, billie eilish, etc…)
👾 just a tip, but make persona charts of your solar planets! if you don’t know how, go to astro.com, charts and calculations, extended chart selection, blue plus sign in the top right corner then fill out info from your solar return chart. after making this, click the “natal chart” tab, scroll down to “persona chart” :)
👾 jupiter/sagittarius in the 3rd or jupiter-mercury aspects show a lot of activity for the year ahead. fire/air = adventurous/fun activity, water/earth = self-growth/learning related (but arguably the themes can overlap), mercury in the third house is also indicative of a busy year!
👾 when i had mars in my natal 12th house last year i stayed up souper late almost every night regardless of weekend/weekday
👾 planets at 5 degrees show where there’s a lot of exciting things happening (ex: venus at 5 degrees -> lots of interesting meetups with friends, starting new hobbies, etc…, juno at 5 degrees -> partnerships open up new feelings of happiness, feeling loved, etc…). creds to @astrosky33 for this one!
👾 pay attention to the aspects made to your vertex for the year! and also what house the vertex falls in in your natal house. a couple years ago i had venus in my solar 4th trine my solar vertex in 8th conjunc turanus and was able to spend more time resting and doing fun things at home because unexpectedly (uranus) responsibilities/burdens placed upon me were lifted
👾 mars in the 12th house (including solar x natal) can show that you’re trying to break out of bad habits
👾 moon in fire signs can show a time of unrest or lots of physical activity at home, you have a lot of energy to do activities whether they’re serious activities or not
💜🤍💜🖤💜🤍💜🖤💜🤍💜🖤💜
hope you enjoyed!
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drdemonprince · 4 months ago
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Hey Devon. This is related to community-building ask, as I feel it kinda hit something in me, and that is my frustration with my local queer "main community", who is mostly made up of people who can work/hang together (people in visual and performative arts, LGBT NGOs, event organisers and so on). It's so closed off and so circlejerk-y that it's demoralising. I've been trying to fit in ever since I started being an adult, almost ten years ago, but I have never made any progress on getting to any of its members. I have made queer friends who are wonderful people, and as you said in the previous ask, that is enough and makes a community of our own already. Nevertheless, it is frustrating for all of us to go to a queer space/show/event just to see that the crowd there is made up of people who know each other and talk to each other and make big groups, while we're just sitting there. It brings us down to know that for queer political events like protests (which are ofc organised by them), we have no one left to fall back on except us. It makes it weird when only one of us is able to go protest, they'd rather not go because it feels so lonely to be sitting around all those people who just know each other, who have been passing by us for so many times over the years, and yet never take interest in even saying "hi" or whatever. It makes us think that they're fucking disingenuous and their "community building" is a load of crap. And I don't really want to feel like that about my people, but look at me, after almost ten years in my city, I fucking do.
Hi there, thanks for your message.
Let me just say that while I understand where the perception comes from, the queer people who put on shows, run nonprofits, and go out clubbing are not "The main lgbtq community" in your city. They're just a bunch of cliquish, careerist, young, privileged people who market themselves as such because they've been convinced that's what the "queer community" is and because doing so helps them get butts in seats at events.
I've seen theater kids, drag performers, DJs, comedians, party promoters, and other various people of the attention-seeking arts (said neutrally) do this all my fucking life. They stake a claim on building "feminist spaces" and "anti-racist" spaces, too, among other things, and use those higher values to sell tickets to their shit too. It's a way to make every tragedy that strikes oppressed people into an advertisement for their burlesques and shit. Don't let the self-important myopia get to you.
The real queer community? In any given city? Well, it's not any one thing. There is no singular "queer community". What people often refer to as the LGBTQ community or the queer community is a demographic, not an actual community. That demographic is marketed to, including by fellow queer people, but that does not a community make.
A community consists of people who know one another, and have enduring bonds, and who have shown up for one another mutually in multiple ways. A lot of these hot cool stylish young queer people are actually merely colleagues of one another. When there's a conflict, or a cancellation, or a venue that closes, they will be tossed to the wind like so many dandelion seeds. Compare that to you and your friends, who can and do remain in contact as the seasons of life change.
It is demoralizing to see so many people who talk a big game about community fail to show up to do activist work that is meaningful to you. I can't deny feeling the same way. For many years, I dated an actor who was very plugged into the local scene, and while his theater company had a reputation for being progressive, trans inclusive, even left-leaning, almost nobody in that collective did anything for the broader 'community' at all. They were all too busy being overworked five nights a week for like a $200 per week stipend, writing plays in which they repeated leftist platitudes but did relatively little.
I'm being a big overly cynical here -- the theater did just put on a big pro Palestinian fundraiser -- but the fact is that running a club, a theater, a local education org, or a regular drag show is a business, and in the end the business always comes first. Even when the members of that business might not want it to. They're often extremely exploited and underpaid, which is part of what makes them so hungry to market themselves and maintain their careers. I have sympathy for it. But meaningful social connections and local impact it does not make.
All of which is to say: please try to remember that these people presenting themselves as the symbols of the local "community" are just a bunch of artistic kids who are trying to make a living doing what they love. They're naive, exploited, a little self-absorbed yes, but they're ultimately not that important. they just deal in a very self-important line of work.
There are SO many queer people all around you who never go to those fucking clubs and shows and aren't even on instagram. The "main" queer community, demographically, is more like the nerdy 40 year old gay couple that lives down the street from you who goes out to the movies once or twice a month and holds board game nights with their friends. The "main" queer community is volunteering at the zoo, going camping with their fraternity brothers that they met 20 years ago, working at the car dealership, planting tomatoes at the local community garden, taking care of elders with dementia, organizing weekly running groups.
You can find people like this -- total normies -- who will care about causes greater than themselves and want to contribute to community building efforts. Many of those people are already doing a ton to make community. It's just less sexy and less self-consciously queer than like, the dance parties. It's also more diverse, accessible, and capable of meeting people where they are at.
It does sound like you would like to meet more activist friends / politically engaged friends, and for that I'd say try looking at pro-Palestinian (for example) events and spaces and seeing who turns up there, checking out a local food not bombs chapter, looking up local mutual aid groups or buy nothing groups, getting involved in hyper-local initiatives, and putting what feelers you can on local forums and personals boards (like Lex, local Facebook groups, local Meetup groups, etc). You probably wont find a perfect space, but you will find worthwhile people scattered everywhere you look!
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prettyboykatsuki · 1 month ago
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i think otoya is the kind of airheaded where he only really likes to do pleasurable things. sex and dating are different. dating is more like a fun game to him but he never gets his needs met if he’s only seeing one person at a time. he gets in shit a lot for two timing but he’s mostly trying to scratch an itch. having a girlfriend impedes on his sexual desire more than it helps it. he frequents sex shops and the like
he hears about the prostate from another guy who runs in his circles, who just wouldn’t shut up after having his girlfriend play in his ass. he seriously questions if it feels that good but once the seeds been planted he can’t help but want to know more.
so he tries to figure it out himself first, but having something in there just feels too weird and painful and a little shameful too. its not like he cares enough to keep pursuing it.
but then, he remembers oh, you would know about this kind of thing wouldn’t you? you and otoya are friends, failed sex friends turned real friends because he always found your preferences a little extreme and it was clear based on dating history he wasn’t your type.
you had mentioned something about this very thing in passing a long time ago.
so he texts you at 3am about it half asleep
‘could you come over and show me where my prostate is? thx.’
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mxtantrights · 10 months ago
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Hello, blessings. I'm not sure if you take requests about Jason Todd, and I would like to make one where the reader has been a friend of Jason practically all her life. They both lived on the streets of Gotham City, but when Jason left with Bruce and tried to take her with him, she refused and continued living on the streets. However, Jason always looked out for her.
Until Jason dies, and when he returns, he sees that she has a "family", but it wasn't something that could be called that.
What do you think would happen?
growing up with Jason todd is probably a lot of fun but a totally a headache. I mean stealing is one thing, you gotta eat and you gotta survive. But stealing the hubcaps to the bat mobile? yeah, Jason was asking for trouble.
before Bruce took Jason in, you two were inseparable. You did everything together. You slept in shady places, you shared food, you traded stories about your childhoods, or lack thereof.
things changed slightly when Bruce took in Jason. You and him obviously couldn't steal anymore, or crash in vacant places. If you wanted to eat Jason would offer to take you out to eat. If you weren't sure where you were sleeping, Jason offered a bad for you in the manor.
It felt weird to you. So you stopped asking for things and in turn told Jason to stop giving you handouts. Jason made you promise that you would try to get not he straight and narrow and that was the deal.
You knew that if you ever ran into trouble Jason would be there. Like when your shifty landlord wanted to kick you out because he wanted to raise the rent. Suddenly, your landlord changed his tune and said he would accept whatever money you could give for rent. You knew it was Jason but you decided to keep it to yourself.
It goes on like this for years. Someone gives you a hard time, you say it in passing to Jason, and the problem is solved. You feel like a bad friend for only being a taker in the relationship but Jason reminds you time after time that he's happy to do it.
Then Jason dies. And you have to make a difficult choice. To go back to the way you were before, not falling the rules, living day by day on chance and luck. Or follow through on what Jason wanted for you.
It takes a couple of months. But you decide through your grief that you'll keep your deal with Jason even if he's not alive. You feel like you're only half alive though.
That's how you end up in a relationship with a scumbag. To be fair it didn't start that way. It was nice in the beginning. Flowers, chocolates, dates and planned outings. But then things just started to decline.
And you didn't really want to get out of it. You felt like you rigged a hole for yourself and wouldn't let yourself out of it. Why would you? It's not like you had someone who cared for you. Yes Bruce checked in on you every once in a while but he had other things to worry about, other kids, other robins.
It's not until you're three years into this toxic relationship that one day you're single. All the scumbag leaves for you is a note telling you not to call, and that you won't see each other again. It reminds you of Jason solving you problems but you know its' not him.
You try to hold onto the feeling but it's pretty fleeting. Living in a world without Jason Todd is horrible.
One night, when you're at an old spot you used to crash in with Jason, drinking away the feelings you meet him. Red hood. You had heard of the power shift he created in Gotham. So many people told you he was scary to be around but he didn't seem like it.
When Red hood takes off his mask you almost lose your shit.
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