#its so fun and short and nice and lovely and and and
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I literally have the most amazing and wonderful community in the entire world???? T_T In this essay, I will—
This is going to be raw and unedited because I want to get my initial thoughts out there before I forget n go back to crying /pos, but?? Yawl.... I can't even begin to find the words to express how appreciative and grateful I am for each and every one of you!! ;v;
I've spent the past few hours reading through everyone's personally written messages, then rereading them all again to let it all fully sink in. I'm being genuine when I say that I've never felt this loved or appreciated in any community before in my life.
Those in the Discord server might know about this already, but since the start of this year, I haven't really been enjoying myself (nor have I been as active) in the yandere VN community. There was far too much infighting between devs, parasocial communities, and toxic anons that ruined so much for me — so I withdrew from it all and remained in my own small bubble. Even then, I still got belittled, harassed, doxxed, and even became the target of Tall Poppy Syndrome by others; most of which nearly made me want to leave altogether, but the overflowing amount of support from everyone in the 14DWY community made me want to stay.
And even now, after reading all those heartfelt messages... I think it's permanently solidified the little space I occupy here on the internet :3
So... Yeah, long story short (and a story that will likely end up as its own separate Tumblr post gjskskjd), I wasn't enjoying myself at all in the yandere VN community... but I did have the time of my life in the 14DWY community. And it's all thanks to you guys.
I'm genuinely sooooo proud to have such an endlessly kind, social, and talented community; and I'm glad to have brought such an interactive and friendly group of people together over our shared interest in such a nice concept. 14DWY is essentially a labour of my love — and although I'm ultimately creating it for me and my silly interests — it's still something that I want to make worthy of you guys as well. All the love and support you've shown me and 14DWY motivates me to do my very best, and y'all deserve nothing less. So...
Thank you all for finding a comfort character in my Totally Normal Guy and his Totally Not Eccentric quirks. Thank you for all the insanely talented creations y'all make and share with me. Thank you for sending in your silly (/pos) questions and turning them into inside jokes and AUs for the rest of the community to enjoy. Thank you for talking with me and making this space a genuinely fun place for me to be in again.
From the bottom of my heart; thank you all so much. I really hope everyone has had an amazing year so far, and I hope 2025 will be as kind to you as you all were towards me.
I also want to give a big fat massive huuuuuuuge shout-out to Ashe / @flaneur001 my love (/p) for organising the 14DWY letter event on Discord, and for contributing so much of their time and dedication to the 14DWY community. You say you've only been part of the community for a year, but to me, that was a year well cherished and appreciated. The 14DWY community (and me especially) have all been so lucky to spend this past year with you, and I sincerely hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have. You've done so much for me, the community, and the 14DWY Discord server, so it's only fair that you get the recognition you deserve. So thank you, Ashe!! And a big thank you to everyone in the 14DWY Discord who participated in this event as well!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some cryin and sobbin to do <3 /silly /pos
#Not me being mushy on main?????? Who is this.... This is so un-evilhehe of me....... /silly#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#�� — 14dwy misc.
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(Summer Daze again- sorry!!!) Was there ever a moment where Sun or Moon genuinely hurt Reader's feelings, or upset them that caused them to back off or avoid the boys for a while? How did Sun and / or Moon react?
First, please don’t be sorry!! I love answering asks and ones for my Fics/Au’s are especially delightful as well as help me flesh more of them out if it’s not something I’ve already focused/touched on so it’s really really nice and helpful!! I’m not sure how close I am to starting the main fic so I’m not too worried about spoiling things that will be in it; though for those who do mind, you might not want to read this if you have good memory and will most likely remember it later in a few months or so XD
(included some rough doodles before I start the next batch of ych prizes XD)
Moon, not so much, but only because conversations were already so few and short between him and the reader; his silence slowly lost its edge as Reader accepted he just is soft spoken and short with his words. So even if/when Moon wanted his silence to bother them, it never hurt too much after the first few times.
Sun, though, made it crystal clear that he didn’t like Reader from the start, and while not quite bullying (as he would NEVER let that happen to anyone under his watch) he certainly tried his very best to make things as difficult for them as possible. And while it did make them feel sad (after all it's not fun to have your new coworkers not like you) they accepted there had to be a reason for his actions and tried to work through it while hoping the two would eventually come around and the three would be friends one day.
That friendship became a bit of a double edge sword though, as once they started to get closer, Sun had started to lash back out and at that point, Reader couldn’t help but take it personally; friends one day but not the next makes for a confusing struggle.
The final wound that broke their hope was an overheard argument Sun was having with Buck (The human counselor from Team Fauna), where Sun (who still couldn’t be honest with himself) shared what he claimed were his true feelings before Moon could stop him as Reader turned the corner to where they were standing.
The immediate hurt that washed over their expression as their eyes filled and overflowed with tears had both bots’ processes stuttering in panic as Reader turned to run away, choosing to hide in the woods to cry their heart out alone. Moon shouted after them but couldn’t get himself to move out of his frozen shock, and Sun was still just as equally frozen; he’s said plenty of borderline mean things but he’s never made you cry before, it was the first time in his whole existence he truly felt such a deep regret over his actions.
Once they manage to get themselves moving, the two try searching for the Reader and despite knowing the trails and forest well enough to map every path without looking, fail to find them. Eventually Reader leaves the woods and quietly stumbles back to the shared cabin at night; only entering once they believed the two bots were charging in their sleep mode to hide under their blankets for some restless sleep.
The next day both celestials were greeted with short and forced pleasantries and awkward smiles that they knew held no real joy. Moon had attempted to smooth things over, to at least help rebuild the foundation of the shared relationship; but it seemed you had resolved yourself into believing none of it. Even though the ‘truth’ shared was only by Sun; Moon wasn’t spared from the cold distance, excuses Reader would make to stay away and keep themselves busy with tasks that didn’t require either co-counselor.
Neither liked it, not after knowing how sweet all the shared moments could be. The hurt Moon had felt only worsened and festered, turning into small fights with Sun over the loss of a wonderful friendship, let alone the loss of a budding love neither would now get to experience. It only took one moment to break everything, and now the two will spend every moment trying to fix it.
#fnaf dca#fnaf daycare attendant#fanfic#bearitt rambles#asks#anon ask#summer daze au#bearitt doodles
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youtube
every 2-3 months i force my parents to watch this with me on the living room tv in silence and if they talk i put it on pause and wag my finger at them. and if they refuse to watch it i disown them. #true story
#its so fun and short and nice and lovely and and and#ray you are really sweaty here but girly thats okay . please stop thougj youre scaring me.#dedicated follower of fashion with audience singing chorus. well i cry and cry and cry#when he makes the audience start lola over. i love u i love u i love u#also this is how i was exposed to muswell hillbillies ! and i love the versions of acute schiz & holiday on this. theyre so silly#AND DAVES GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY… GIRL I LOVE U…#Youtube
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How did it go ? 👁👁
I FEEL ALIVE
#i won't say much because knowing the x is watching my tumblr is making me nervous and queazy#but all this time. all this time i thought chivalry was a fantasy#i just feel. alive. cute. giggly.#like. a woman. being courted. its so fun???#OUGH#he is very down to earth. mature. conversation endless. which is such a nice change of pace LMAO#i don't know what the future holds bc i am very set on enjoying my solitude for a while (ive NEVER lived alone in my 31 years on this earf)#only in very very short periods#and i want that more than anything else#my own schedule. my own home. mine everything.#flirting though? i can live with that. i can live with rosy cheeks and christmas markets and dinners and drinks. its. just. gah!#its lovely.#and i feel lovely. i hope he felt the same injection of joy (which it seems like- i got a very sweet text today)
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Hello! 🦠 anon here again... I'm not sure if my ask wast sent so im gonna ask again,
What are your headcanons on swatch? Can you tell more of your concept of them? Like how do you view him? I would really appreciate it even it's like small fun facts! thanks a lot :)
you're fine i didn't have art to post so i didn't log in for a few days. uhhhhhh SwatchThoughts(tm):
they're the head butler ofc, but they're also queen's right-hand-man (gender neutral), her #1 bestie. they know everything about her, even about lancer before the events of ch2. they will literally do anything she asks and anything that will entertain her. it's tiring and they do complain sometimes but they enjoy their work, they know what a kind person she really is and that she's generally a good ruler, so they like to make her happy :)
weirdly competitive. nobody beats them in queen's monthly fruit-smashing competition and if you somehow do, they're a good sport but You Will Not Win Next Month. You Won't.
workaholic. oh god they wear so many hats in the mansion and they're so tired all the time, it's a miracle they get everything done
the color cafe is a regular butler cafe up front and a host club in the back. a handful of the birds, including swatch, can be paid (at quite high rates, swatch especially) to join you for drinks or sweets, flirt with you, cuddle - p much have a sweet and lightly romantic time. you would not believe how much money spamton dumped into the host club back in the day. their undisputed #1 customer even 20 years later
i generally view them as very asexual (demi specifically. + nonbinary) but they still love their host work! it's fun, they like making people happy and playing at being a romantic. and the sweets. they like the sweets just as much 🍰
damn good chef and an even better baker
very polite but short tempered 😔 they're quick to rough up people who don't follow the rules or who just personally annoy them/cause chaos, and they always win
they are the tallest swatchling, at 9 feet tall. Beast. good for carrying queen on their broad shoulders though!
their feathers, which are all slightly curly, have a slight iridescence to them that tint, along with accents on their outfit, in accordance to their mood or the paint they've been drinking . the default is pink
dressed to the nines 24/7. even on their time off.
they adore their birds. they spawned each and every single one of them (the ones in their own flock that work for queen, anyway), they know all their names even when everyone's the same color and they remember what's going on in their lives. which is impressive when there's at least a couple hundred of them ;;;
their favorite flavor of paint is dusty lilac
their favorite normal flavor is strawberry
as an art program they not only create things for lightners but also for queen ! they design a lot of things for her with her input, and with as quickly as they can draw things directly into the dark world they're always working on things for her, while dressing up their cafe for themed events in-between.
the underside of their tail is a swatchbook
they love being pet please pet them please please please p
#deltarune#swatch#ask#anonymous#anon#swatchlings#headcanons#its fun to make headcanon lists. its also an excuse to link a bunch of old art dhjdsbfhj#i've drawn like half of this already but it's nice to have it all together like this#tldr they're a big sweetie but with a short temper and a bad sweet tooth. and they're drawing near-constantly#i'm sure there's a bunch of really obscure little headcanons i could throw in here but if i list every single one of them i can hunt down#this post will be 2 miles long#shit like 'they love really frilly dresses' and 'they have exactly one (1)stuffed animal their birds gave them they pretend they dont Adore#(its a floppy little bottom-heavy plush crow with button eyes. one of the swatchlings made it for the host club's sleepover event.)#(cinnamon thought the customers would like it better seeing all these huge birdfolk with cute little stuffed animal buds. and she was Right#(and swatch just. never got rid of it. they love their little floppy guy look at that their bird made that for them they gave it a bowtie)#it sits on the headboard of their bed so it doesn't get lost among the blankets they nest in. -- swatchlings sleep in nests also#huge nests made of blankets and pillows. let them loose in a Homegoods and just see what fucking happens#see what i mean i can just keep fucking going forever. this is the shit i think about when im like. doing dishes#this is what i mean when i say i'm rotating my blorbos in my head#thinkin bout random ass headcanons that dont have anything to do with the source material. they're just fun. for funsies :)
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random omegaverse thought:
There must be people who experience specific instinct things with indifference or boredom.
Procreative cycle coming up? "Crap, I've got plans this weekend...stupid skip weeks."
Caught an intriguing scent while walking? "But I need to get to work! Shut up brain."
Had a snap response to a distressed sound? "Who was it?! ...right, it's my day off, I can go back to sleep."
Somebody growled at them? "Kid, I'm not a rival, that's my sibling."
Super cozy cuddle session happening nearby? "I'm gonna pass tonight guys, no social battery left, maybe next time."
Group of friends heading out to flirt and check out other singles? "I'm coming with you but only to make sure you all get home safe."
Setting where fated mates or soul bonds or permanent marks are a thing? "Meh. I don't really want one or care if I ever get one."
People in the actual omegaverse would get as bored of their stuff, as we do of ours, you know? It could be interesting to see that kind of vibe in fics. Biological demands faced with all the excitement of paying bills or doing laundry or tying your shoes.
Even if that kind of energy might not drive a plot, it could be interesting to have as a contrast to the people who do have big feelings about them - good or bad.
There's the friends who can't wait til they have a pack of their own, and the one friend who isn't against it but couldn't care less. There's the group in the office who are all about scent compatibility tests and figuring out one's best match and what sprays most highlight it, and the coworker who has no intentions on putting that much effort in. There are parents who hover and protect their offspring by scenting them multiple times a day, and others who don't see what the fuss is as long as it's done in the morning.
...also: packs with introverts who show care by giving each other space. So often, closeness is depicted through physical touch and tactile affection, but comfortable silence is meaningful too. Knowing people are near, but not having to interact until you're ready. Sitting in the same room doing different things, knowing that all it takes is a "hey, look at this" to share what you're up to. People understanding and accepting each other's differing or fluctuating needs for how and when to recharge. Seeing somebody reaching out or sharing space, beyond what's their norm, as a signal of the fact that they care.
#omegaverse worldbuilding#a/b/o worldbuilding#a/b/o dynamics#kinda#not gonna tag sfw though it mostly is#heat/rut mention#twovvie chatters#hi its me im introverts#a version of me in omegaverse would love to live in a pack house#as long as i could have a space to myself#people nearby? good! people around all the time? uhhhh#even my family knows that after so many hours of fun family party#i'm gonna disappear to whatever room has the fewest people in it#or find a random corner and start reading#“oh! i didnt know you were here” yes that was the plan#also i just find the idea of someone#who couldnt care less about pairing up#to be funniest in a setting where that's a big deal#“too bad you havent found a mate yet” “no i already know who it is”#“congrats! when do we meet them?” “oh i didnt mean that i'm going to date them. i just know who it is.”#“but i thought you were single?” “yup.” “don't you want a mate?” “nah too annoying.”#cycle day? nice i get a free day off work#cycle day? ugh not this again#the duality of man (a/b/o edition)#granted i hc heats/ruts as heightened libido and greater fertility#because i dislike elements of heats/ruts that (imo) mess with people's ability to freely consent#if the only non-sexual options are pain or solitude and the species needs compaionship as much or more as regular humans#then not being able to or being unwilling to is like a punishment for those people#sure stress or other needs can short circuit it (irl) but theres plenty of reasons to not be interested that arent “you have a problem”#surely i'm not the only person who reacts to various body requests with “later i'm busy” right?
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At this point I don't think Teruki's parents are exceptionally horrible individuals (long-term psychological consequences still happen in cases in which the abuse isn't considered particularly severe + everyone is capable of harm, even "good" people), but they weren't the best, without a doubt.
Okay, they got too busy with their jobs and had to move overseas to progress on their career. External circunstances. Things that happen. They left their son behind, but that could always be justified by hectic schedules of ever-moving businesspeople. How else could he have a stable routine to focus on his future? They're just busy. Teruki hasn't seen them in long but that's not their fault, right?
They cared for Teruki, didn't they? His parents made sure that there was someone home to watch him whenever they were far away. It was inevitable that there would be times he would be with himself, though. But that's not bad! It only became a problem once those strange espers tried to take hold of him on the street. And even then, they were so weak he could barely give them the title of a psychic. It wasn't an issue that it happened more and more and there was no one to intervene. Or that Teruki had to torture descriptions of "Claw organization" and "brainwashed soldiers" out of these grownups to know what they wanted with him. His parents couldn't know. Why should they know? Better put: what could they do?
What could a normal person do against someone with psychic powers?
It was Teruki's choice to live by himself. He could manage it all. Contrary to the other kids, he was an independent and responsible young man who could be trusted with a house and money. Such a great boy. His parents were so proud to have someone as competent as him as a son, one which wouldn't mean hard work for them. One who always had the best grades and was the soccer team's best player and was the best student on the town's best middle school.
Of course they would suddenly allow Teruki to live on his own. Any parent with a child like him would, wouldn't they? Anyone on their right mind and who knew the slightlest about him would be sure he could do it.
And even if this "Claw" organization scared him a bit and he felt a bit lonely at times, it wasn't an issue. Issue would mean it was an obstacle - which it wasn't, as Teruki did perfectly on his own. His parents believed on so. That's why he had his own apartment at 12 on the first place. Teruki was so wonderful at this. It wasn't horrible if they didn't answer his calls, because they were so busy and he wasn't a little kid who depends on his mommy. None of this was their fault. He shouldn't bother them or himself over this.
Because they cared, right? On the end, it was only a pile of tragic circunstances and coincidences no normal person could act against. It was part of life as someone special like him. He couldn't expect that his parents could change any of this, and this made his loneliness the best possible choice. It was obvious that they would support such a decision.
What would a normal person do against someone with psychic powers?
#this was supposed to be a short description of how I imagine the Hanazawas but I got carried away with the prose#I suppose I'll leave some of the original idea here on the tags#for some reason Teruki's parents seem to be the type of absent parents who do care about their children#yet they don't have the slightlest ability to provide a happy and healthy life besides the generic ideal of a perfect kid#a kid who has a nice home and money to have fun and is physically healthy and has good grades#and their son is so special. of course they would brag about him at any opportunity to do so because it shows how they're good parents#yet they don't put any extra effort on caring for their kid besides this “minimum”. why would they? isn't he happy enough?#they gave such a damn perfect life for him! look how great he is doing by himself! look how he is an amazing kid!#and they say it like an irritatingly oblivious owner talks about their pet dog who has clear behavior and health issues#and their lack of emotional effort and actual care for teruki's wellbeing is so morbidly comical it warps into not being even funny#its just painful and absurd and they don't have an idea on how their choices are absolutely crazy bad#because there is no way you could be implying they're bad parents. they love teruki so much#mp100#mob psycho 100#teruki hanazawa#lalá rambling...
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will he burn down the kitchen
#SORRY THIS ISNT FULLT SHADED Guys it is so late this daily post grind is serious#cranboo#cranboo fanart#went to the park today lots of fun....CRAZY WIND THOUGH Omfg i wouldn't mind if it didn't RUIN MY HAIRRR#it gets so flat i have really loose curls so literally anything disturbs them and ougghh its like i just spent an hour finger waving(? ever#strand Whyyyy whatever i tried to not let that get to me i enjoyed the sun....#i tried to braid a blade of grass it Kind of worked idk i posyed a pic on twitter oohhh it was so nice out today i was just Sat on the gras#enjoying the sun#i got this skirt at altard state the other day ACTUSLLY KTS A SHORT but like its Layered so it looks like a skirt kind of hold on#altard state raleigh layered lace shorts OUGGHH so cute so COMFROTABLE omg i wore the#m to school on friday everyone lovveddd them i lovr high school everyone is so nice to me#Tomorrow it will be 77 degrees im so excited imma take the train to school there is no way imma b sitting on that bus....#drawing for tommroow ummmm maube Omg based off the poll imma do a follow up that sounds fun yesssss#Ok i love u guys good night
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ALSO since it's winter and my innate need to be a nerd about music and browse music stores for new beautiful guitars I can never afford (3k custom order aahahahahahahah kill me cuz thats still cheap) is back I've been thinking.
Nr 1:
Gort strikes me as an organ girlie. But at the same time it would suit Durge much much more. Raphael lost his organ rights by being such a lenient little man at times. Like you play that instrument with your whole ass body. Big pipe organs are literally part of a house foundation. It's a massive and breathtaking instrument that's just absolutely insane and the tunes it produces are godly. It's also so inventive like, bro the instrument is a fucking house. Oppressive as hell. Thats Gort. That's just the mecha megalomaniac. But then its also positively divine and often related to faith. And its a lot of harmonies and shit mixed together like the Bhaalspawn r and it's rly just a blood sweat and tears kinda thing and it's just giving Durge vibes yk?
Nr 2:
This is probably exclusive to me but uh, modern Band AU whatever would have Gort play an e guitar and be capable of absolutely insane riffs and also probably frontman if we're honest while Durge plays classical guitar. And I have my reasons for believing that cuz not only r guitars awesome and very versatile instruments that can produce both melodies and chords by themselves the e guitar / classic mix also has this rly weird just durgetash dynamic. There are harmonies but there's also chaos and both are capable of being gentle and soft in their own ways but they're also played fundamentally different and usually take a different role but both are still very capable of breathtaking solos and I'm just being a fucking nerd on main rn and will shut up before I pull out my music theory power point.
#my only wish in life is to get to play a pipe organ#literally if i ever get to use one of those many pedals i can die happily#its such a fascinating and beautiful instrument#its so soft but also imposing and i just love it#also I'm not joking i spent way too much time looking at guitars and their accessories rn#somebody pls stop me#my babe just turned 10 and she's still in peak condition and i dont need another one#thats how it starts#thats how you end up with 10 of em#i did end up finding a pretty sweet black one with a golden ornamental design on the body#and its affordable too#but the necks colour is throwing me off and apparently the sound is shit....#and the one i know sounds absolutely wonderful sadly simply doesnt come with nice designs#nd customising a guitar is not smth i'd look forward too#esp the body#since that can fuck up the sound#like i loathe the design of my babe but also shes treated like a princess#im not even touching the strings myself and instead dragging her to a manufacturer#also weird fun fact about classic guitarists#they'll have long nails on one hand and short nails on the other#it makes finger picking and gripping a lot easier#okay i'll shut up now im becoming too much of a nerd
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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if dan and phil live streamed i'd watch them for hours
#i watched a gaming video of theirs for the first time#backrooms bc i love backrooms#and it was fun!#they're very funny#phil is craaaaazy what is going on in his brain#also it took me a LONG while (years) to know who was who bc i'd always see them as DAN&PHIL#anyways im gonna watch their 20 minutes video of a quiet place#shame its so short</3#ive been watching streamers play it#its very nice background noise#ehm anyways#bye#gotta do hw mmmmm#dan and phil#mwah everybody#you got this
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i had a good time with my friend this past week but God i cannot wait to see my other friends. i miss them i feel crazzzyy!!!
#literally i havent not gone this long without calling teej at the end of the night for so long in. Well forever atp.#at least wr got a short call in the other day. and i got to eatch with henri tonight. EVEN IF IT WAS FOR DOCCHI MO DOCCHI#i didnt have work rother all week which has been stressing me out but. for some reason my one coworker kept adding me to calls with him#and our other coworker and it was really nice to still have a few minutes with them. i love them. i miss them.#its been fun. i need to have my routine back. and i need to have time for everyone else.#im a simple man. i MISS them. smiling.#news with isaac
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Recent disney and pixar movies have felt like movies in the way that monster high movies feel like movies. And I don’t want anyone to see this and go “but at least monster high movies are good!” cuz, sure whatever I don’t care, just listen. What I’m saying is these recent disney movies are so forgettable and I don’t think it’s just because of the rise of streaming services fucking up how the films are marketed and viewed, they also feel unbelievably pointless. They feel like movies made around a plot that would be forced into a ten minute episode if it were a cartoon made by smaller creators rn. The plots are so simple I feel like a toddler like I feel like the stakes have gotten increasingly lower and everything is underwhelming. Toy story 4’s big conflict was woody needs to get the plastic spoon back to the little girl. Inside out 2 was the emotions needing to get back to headquarters while riley is just at hockey camp and they learn their lessons in five minutes. Encanto is just mirabelle talking to her family and then singing songs at her. Strange world was a very basic father/son relationship story with no real stakes. The main thing luca wants in luca is a vespa and the main thing mei wants in turning red is concert tickets. Not even gonna glance at wish or lightyear cuz like who watched those what are those movies even for. I can’t remember any of these movies and even the ones I liked are still underwhelming and I walked out of them trying to justify that to myself like “oh well not every movie has to have a crazy plot, sometimes they can be simple”. But it’s like. All their movies now. And the characters are uh, they’re okay in some of them I guess I dunno. And this isn’t even to say that the more beloved older disney movies never had simple plots cuz like look at Cinderella, half of that movie is just animals getting into shenanigans to fill time. But idk, it felt like people actually wanted to make that movie and put love and attention into it. Now these things are just disney pumping out vague emotions that might get them an award while coating everything with this “look at how much money we have” polish
#the klock keeps ticking#this isnt coherent at all im sooooo tired i havent slept good at all lately ughhh#i used monster high as an example but havent really made the comparison properly huh#basically mh movies are really just there to sell dolls and yeah sometimes the movies are fun#sometimes theyre about something cool even#but theyre also low quality made for tv movies that got pumped out a machine#and some of them are just really really bad#and even the ones that i like like friday night lights i mean its like core message is a pretty basic short thing about misogyny in sports#which is what youd expect from a low quality made for tv movie made to sell dolls#but disney is out here doing like the same writing in 2024 with their ungodly expensive animation#and its just like. seriously? this is seriously what you want?#to make shallow garbage with shiny paint a few times a year just so you can get more money and keep it up?#youre trash disney. utter fucking trash#this is brought to you by me watching inside out 2 for shits and feeling pretty much exactly how i expected to feel lol#i love how not gay riley is obsessed with a girl who is literally the Basic Cool Gay Love Interest#which is a whole other post honesty but its a drinking game for me at this point cuz thats the only gay character corporations know how to#write its just like. they are Cool and Nice and so so Cool and they literally never stop smiling for one second and they are Cool#and thats about it! and if you dont ship them with the quirky anxiety ridden gay youre an ungrateful faggot
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Ive gotten so used to not being able to play most games bc of my hands and reaction time n stuff so ive basically gotten used to hitting a ceiling in a game where i can't play normally anymore and need to use assists/cheats so every time i find a game that i Don't need to do that for whenever it ends im just like wait huh thats it???
#cannot decide if Jusant was too short or it's just more accessible than I'm used to so i was able to blaze through it-#either way i would love another game with mechanics like Jusant the climbing was so fluid and satisfying#i thought with my directional confusion n shit i wouldn't be able to get it#but i got a controller and the joysticks and trigger buttons REALLY help with that somehow???#and i managed to get to a point where i was just spidering up walls in seconds#i wanna play more so im actually kind of glad i missed collectibles#this is why you dont 100% run on your first playthrough so you have More Fun to have with it later#i play most games for The Movement (something i Very Much Cannot Do A Lot Of irl) bc its satisfying to Zoom#and that game just has a really solid climbing mechanic its so fun#and so easy to like. make it easier on yourself somehow.#like using pitons to anchor yourself halfway up a wall and then just rappel down to the previous ledge#to regain stamina and then just reel yourself back up to that anchor and keep going#or you can use a piton to just dangle and assess your surroundings#as well as stamina doesnt drain unless you're in motion or under duress (like from weather) so you can pause and look around#plus it's just very fun to climb up this big ol stack and look down and see Wow! I Fuckin Did That!#bc each section is just one real big map so you can fall from top to bottom (of each section)#if you could fall i dont think. the game lets you#cause i tested and if you're not tethered you just do not walk off ledges#which is also nice i like that too it makes me less anxious
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#diana's music diary#good morning#i slept early#it was nice#very cozy#I only slept like 4 hours though cause I had to get up for a delivery... also I'm posting this a couple of hours after waking...#as is becoming usual for these... I've been kind of vibing to music pretty much...#anyway yesterday was good but so exhausting... played lethal company with friends like I'd said which was really fun!! was a little bit of#process getting my bearings in it since I'd seen maybe one second of gameplay before but after a day or two in game I picked it up I'd say!#I mostly just ran away when I saw something scary but I tried scanning a monster and it opened the door which made me scream once ahaha#after that I was a lil tired but we ended up having a session of the project moon ttrpg I'm in kind of out of nowhere#it was short but v fun to play Frei again he kind of completely shut down the distortion singlehandedly which was surprising considering he#has no combat capability.. incapacitated them and read its mind which helped us figure out what we needed to do to resolve the distortion#-peacefully! my partners character did the actual resolving cause Frei is terrified of going near anything as gross as that distortion was#(it was a giant gross greasy burger monster. who was just bob from bobs burgers. he ended up in a polycule with linda and teddy after.)#Frei also read my partners characters mind a bit and maybe upset him a little by mentioning his daughter (her character is divorced lol)#anyway yeah... I was tired after both of those so I kinda got in bed and passed out quickly while listening to music...#idk what I'll do today I'm a bit sore still and I'm v sick and tired rn so I'll probably just relax a bit...#let's make today nice and cozy and good... love u friends thank u for reading <3
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Oh can we fuck off with the realising of things that would make me happier in a gender way!!! Bro I cant even think about achieving them until I come out n that's not happening until the leavings over so stop fucking giving me concrete things I could do!!! Aaaaa!!!
#*me idly playing w my hair n gathering it all in the front so i can feel the lack of it on my neck* wow i should cut it short- FUCK#listen. ever since ive been wanting to physically transition in other ways ive been regularly checking in like#'youre still ok w the long hair right? its masc in a dashing prince sort of way and u genuinely like it'#and i ponder it seriously and the answer is yes im still ok w it and its a relief bcos i dont gotta figure out a new short hairstyle#let alone come up to my mom like heyyyyyyyyyy boy pls#n now its like. sigh fucks sake#and goddammit the whole thing abt i love my mom to death n she does so much for me n she genuinely is good abt so much#and BECAUSE of that i dont wanna upset her by fucking w my hair which is fucked but whatever#like itd be easier if i could go lol fuck her but dammit i care abt what she thinks#n if she didnt like me shaving my undercut w the bare clippers bcos it emphasised the beard then oh buddy she wouldnt like long hair#im half considering trimming my beard so shes more likely to cede more ground 2 me#bcos she does have a point abt it looking disheveled#but if im perfectly honest the way the beard looks doesnt even factor into why i have it#i love the fact that im even growing it n the gender factor n its a fun stim toy but idgaf if it looks nice#if i wanted it to look nice id shave the neckbeard n trim the sideburns n maybe ill trim the neckbeard actually but thats beside the point#what was i on about again
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