#its so comfortable talking to her. like even our first real conversation when we worked together a few weeks ago was easy

[heyitslapis]

Oh she DOES like me like that

[lostryu]

i need gay rights because literally not a single self-proclaimed cis/het 'ally' understands the alienating experience that comes with being the only gay person in the workplace.

i am a gnc butch lesbian. i use he/him pronouns. when i came out to my manager regarding my pronouns (i had been an open lesbian since the moment of my hire), she told me that she supported me, but she could not enforce or ask our clients to use the correct pronouns for me. she told me it was something i would have to learn to deal with. she never uses the correct pronouns for me unless a person from a different department (who also happens to be LGBT+) is present. she is our HR in addition to manager.

none of my coworkers in my department ever remember to use my pronouns. if i remind them, they go over the top with the "im sorry's" and the "im still learning" and "you know i try my hardest's!" and "i swear im not homophobic!", it has been over 6 months since i came out. if i say nothing, they continue to use she/her (unless that other lgbt+ person from the other department is present, then they miraculously get it right).

sometimes they call me 'girl'. they always flounder and correct to "man-boy-uh youknowwhatimeanright". they laugh it off. they never bother to ask what terms i am comfortable with, or if i even cared in the first place. they don't care about my gender, they never bother to ask. somehow the subject gets changed every time i try to tell them, or set a boundary.

once in a while in a slow shift, the conversation will hop to our dating lives. somehow, it always jumps to how men suck and how dating a woman must be so much easier. they wish they could be gay and not straight. every time, they'll stare at me expectantly, like i am an animal at the zoo. no matter what i say, positive or negative, i must be lying. i cannot be that happy in my relationship, or if i have any issues, they must be minor. if i say 'why don't you try dating a girl then' to their remarks, they'll laugh, say something like "there is no way i possibly could" with that special tone of disguised disgust.

i am a prop, at work. they tell me about how much they love their kids. how they could bring anyone home and they wouldn't care. "they could be black, brown, or purple," they'll say "it could be a woman or a man! I support gay rights!" Then they will talk about how hungry they are, and how they will be going to Chick Fil a for the 4th time this week. 'as a treat'. it is thursday. they talk about going to Hobby Lobby again for christmas decorations, or another sale. sometimes i think i can taste blood.

its june. they talk about the pride parade and how excited they are to see the queens and their 'funny costumes'. they talk about how fun it is to go and watch, how they like the free things the corporations hand out. they don't want to bring their younger kids though. they're not old enough. they do not know that the first pride was a riot. they do not know what happened during the AIDS crisis, how many died. they don't really care when i try to tell them, they'd rather focus on the fun parts of the parade. the spectacle.

i wear a pronoun pin, to make it easier. still somehow no one can get my pronouns right. a client notices it. commends me for "being brave" and "coming out." she never uses my correct pronouns. i stopped wearing the pin after the 11th person asked me if my name on my name tag was my real one, and after the 45th person went out of their way to use incorrect pronouns every sentence. my manager, the HR, did not care.

i need gay rights, but somehow everything got resolved when they allowed us to marry in 2015. to our allies, the work is done. somehow i am left more alone than when we started.

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good To Say Goodbye pt 5

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

warnings: cursing, mentions of miscarriage/stillborn

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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I couldn't put this off anymore. I had to talk to Logan about the night in the delivery room and I had to tell Lando about my reoccurring dreams. I know I technically haven't done anything wrong and I haven't cheated but something about my dreams have been feeling a little too real. My feelings for Logan might be too real.

No, stop that Y/N, Logan treated you like shit, there's no way you possibly like him. No. You're not that naive , you know better than to have feelings for a man that treated you like shit. But he also gave you a kid. A kid you so desperately wanted, one you needed to have, to love, to hold, to care for, to cherish after my first born passed.

I'd gotten off the phone with Logan shortly before Lando re-entered our room.

"She's finally back down, her pacifier fell out of her mouth." all Lando said before he got back into bed, trying to cuddle me. I felt so awful with myself and felt like I didn't deserve his comforting touch so I scooted away and attempted to get out of bed.

"Hey what's wrong? Where are you going?" a hint of sadness in his voice but that was quickly covered up with a simple clearing of his throat.

"Shower. Me and Lily are gonna hang out. Maybe you and Oscar could have Yelena for the day? I know Oscar has been begging to take her out and be the favorite uncle but I don't trust him alone with my daughter." a chuckle leaves my lips as I try not to sound nervous.

Why is the thought of having a civil conversation about the well being of my daughter with her father making me feel so icky and nervous? Part of me longs to have a healthy relationship with Logan, I mean he was my everything. Logan made me believe in love, he gave me 2 wonderful pregnancies even if I'll be able to never meet my other baby.

I quickly gathered things that I would need for my shower, a McLaren t-shirt, a pair of jeans, a bra, underwear, my Bose speaker, and a pair of slides before I made my way into the bathroom. I turned the shower on hot before I set everything down and got all my hair products that I'd need.

I took my H/C hair out of the bun I'd just had up prior, letting it fall past my shoulders in a curly nappy mess. I loved my hair don't get me wrong, but all the products I needed for it and how fast it would get nappy would sometimes be too much for me.

Stepping into the hot shower, I let it flow over me and letting my hair get soaked before I started lathering on some shampoo. While I was working the shampoo on my scalp, I couldn't help but imagine a life where Logan and I were endgame, a life where we didn't have split custody of our daughter, a life where when me and Yelena went to the paddock we were going into the Williams garage to cheer for Daddy instead of going into McLaren to cheer for mommy's new boyfriend, a life where little Theo James Sargeant was still alive.

Thinking about little Theo always made me emotional, I couldn't ever imagine a moment in the future where I could talk about him and not want to sob and quite frankly, I don't want their to ever be a time where it doesn't. I'll feel like I forgot about him and that's the last thing I want.

Maybe if Theo was alive none of this would've happened, me and Logan would still be happy, we could have 2 kids instead of 1. If Theo were here all my problems would be solved, I would be happy, Logan would be happy, but I wouldn't be with Lando. Life had its ups and downs, I wouldn't trade my relationship with Lando for the world.

It felt like I was lathering my scalp while being deep in thought for hours but in reality, when I snapped out of my trance I heard the ending of Taylor Swift's All Too Well (10 minute version). I quickly rinsed the shampoo out before quickly conditioning and brushing my hair out. I put my hair up in a little bun to allow my hair to soak up as much conditioner as possible while I scrubbed the rest of my body clean, I decided that today would be one of my ‘everything’ shower days so I also grabbed Lando’s razor that he has in the shower and shaved my legs and armpits.

Once I was done shaving, I took my hair out of the bun and rinsed the conditioner out while simultaneously raking my hands through my hair to get rid of the knots that formed. Once that was done I turned off the shower, wrapped my velcro towel around my body and wrapped my hair in a towel wrap. I’d looked at the time on my phone while trying to change the song, only to realize that I’m supposed to meet Logan at a little coffee shop that was 10 minutes away, in 20 minutes and I wasn’t ready yet.

I’d quickly a no makeup makeup look before quickly drying off my body and throwing my clothes on. I took my hair out the wrap and quickly, but efficiently worked some product in my hair to make sure I still had the curl and bounce when it dried.

I was so busy rushing out of the bathroom that I almost ran right into Lando who was holding Yelena.

“Oh there’s mommy!” Lando says while he points in my direction while simultaneously poking Yelena’s tummy “We were just coming to say bye to you. Oscar is waiting in my car” a smile appears on my face. Lando’s been so good to me and how do I repay him? I’m going behind his back to talk to my ex and baby dad about reoccurring dreams I’ve had about us being a happy family after our little “moment” in the delivery room.

I place a quick sweet kiss against Lando’s lips before I place a big fat one on Yelena’s head “Sorry I took long in the bathroom. Took an ‘everything’ shower, you know how it is.” a small chuckle leaves his lips before we hear a honk from outside “You guys should get going before Uncle Oscar gets mad” I say while I also place delicate pokes on Yelena’s tummy. A quick nod, faint goodbye and a goodbye kiss from Lando was what I got before he left.

I checked my phone again, I had 5 minutes to get to a coffee shop that was 10 minutes away. I quickly shot Logan a text saying that I was gonna be about 5 minutes behind schedule because I got caught in ‘traffic’. I figured it was believable when Logan shot me a ‘All good, I’ll be here when you arrive’ text.

——

When I’d arrived at the little coffee shop I spotted Logan in a quiet corner. He quickly spotted me because he’d basically leaped out of his seat to welcome me.

“Hey, I figured since you were gonna be late, I’d just order your drink for you. I got you a y/f/d, I hope that’s still your favorite.” the nervous smile that sprawled across his face made my heart clench. He was so cute, oh how badly I wanted to grab his face and pull him close to me. I shook my head to rid the thoughts in my brain.

“Yep, once my favorite always my favorite.” I graciously took the drink from his hands before we both sat down. We sat in silence for what felt like forever before Logan started the conversation.

“So, I called you here because, oh man, how do I say this? I asked you to be here because,” he let out a shaky breath before continuing “because ever since that night in the delivery room, I haven’t stopped dreaming of you. About us, all of us being one big happy family. Me, You and Yelena just living the life and I can’t help the yearn for that. I know you want nothing to do with me but” he placed his hand on top mine that rested on my drink “I know I fucked up big time all those months ago, and I know you hate me and want nothing to do with me, but please, give me one more chance. One more chance to prove to you that I’m a better, changed man. To prove to you that I’ll do anything it takes to be the best father and husband I can be. I love you and Yelena, will all of my heart, soul and bones I love you.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, I can’t tell him I’ve had the same dreams and that I feel that way too. The universe has a weird way of trying to get people together.

I pull my drink up to my lips which caused his hand to fall off mine. “Logan, I- We can’t- I’m with” I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath before I tried to continue “Logan, I love you more than you’ll ever know. You gave me a beautiful daughter and a life I never thought I’d have. I owe you so much but that debt I owed you went straight down the drain the moment you said that I should’ve killed myself, the moment you said I was another piece of ass to you and the moment” a few tears slipped “The moment you said you could impregnate ANY woman.”

I placed my drink down before grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on the table to wipe the fallen tears off my face. A beat or two passed before anyone said anything.

“Do you ever think,” Logan waited a beat before the continued, almost as if he was regretting what he was about to say “Do you ever think that if Theo were still here, none of this would’ve happened? That we’d be happy and together, that Yelena would be able to meet her big brother?”

I could see the tears forming in Logan’s eyes and the tears that once stopped falling came right back.

A choked sob left my throat at the mention of our late son. My body shook with so much pain and sadness that I hadn’t notice Logan left his seat. Not at least until I felt his big strong arms wrap around my body in a tight embrace. I could feel his body shake in his own quiet sobs. We stayed like this for what felt like hours, just in an embrace, sobbing, in public, where everyone is staring.

“Y/N?” Oh no, I recognized that voice. We pulled apart at the mention of my name turning to see Lando pushing a stroller and Oscar following suit “I thought you said you were hanging out with Lily?” Lando sounded suspicious as he looked between Logan and Me observing both of us red eyed. “Why are you both crying? Baby, are you okay?”

“Oh! Yes! Haha, Lily was running late so I grabbed a drink and saw Logan here and then we started talking about Theo” I said wiping the tears from under my eyes again

Oscar’s eyes closed and his face contorted in its own way of saying ‘oh no’

“That’s so funny babe because” Lily walked in “We actually ran into Lily and she mentioned nothing about your guys’ plans. Actually said that she’s been trying to set up a day where you guys could spend the day out and shop and have girls night but said that you kept postponing it. So why are you here with Logan and why’d you lie?”

The tension between us so thick you could hack it with a butcher knife a few times and it wouldn’t cut.

I’ve been caught in lies before but this one, I don’t know how I’m getting out of it.

“I promise I will tell you everything Lando, just not here”

Lando turned and whispered some things to Oscar and Lily whom nodded in agreement before handing them the stroller and the diaper bag and kissing Yelena goodbye.

He’s taken on such a natural fatherly role in her life that to the outside world, Yelena was his daughter and that’s what I admired about him, that’s why I fell in love with him and that’s why I really, really can’t lose him.

“We’re leaving.” was all Lando said before I whispered a goodbye to Logan and followed him out the door and to his McLaren.

The car ride home was awkward and silent. It hadn’t felt this bad in a car alone with him since I told him all those months ago about what happened with me and Logan. After what felt like an eternity we finally arrived at our house. The walk inside and into our bedroom was also awkward and silent.

Oh how I hated when Lando was mad at me.

“Why’d you lie?” it sounded cold, kinda made my heart break “Why were you out with Logan and why did you lie to me?”

“I-” I released a shaky breath “I met with Logan because” I was cut off

“Are you still in love with him?” betrayal and heartbreak coated Lando’s voice

“No! Absolutely not! Lando please don’t think like that!” I quickly walked over to him cupping his face and used my thumb to wipe a stray tear from his face

“I was with Logan because he wanted to talk about that night in the delivery room. He wanted to tell me that he’s been having dreams of us being a big happy family. He asked me what he could do to get me back, to win us back” the look in his eyes told me he believed what I was saying

“and what did you say?”

“I told him that after the way he treated me that I would never get back with him.” I felt him nod against my hands that were still holding his face before I wrapped them around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug feeling his arms wrap around my waist and squeezed tight.

I wanted to stay like this forever, wrapped up in his tight embrace. I felt like nothing bad could happen, I felt on top of the world and that’s how I wanted to stay, but all good things eventually come to an end.

The churn of my stomach is what pulled me away from Lando and I knew I was gonna be sick. I rushed myself to the bathroom before spilling my guts into the toilet. Lando quickly rushed in to hold my hair back and rub my back.

“I’ll be back. I’m gonna grab you a bottle of water” Lando said before he quickly jogged to the kitchen.

I’ve been sick before, but this felt different. I’ve felt this kind of sickness before. Twice, actually. I rested my head in my arms on the toilet seat before frantically looking around in the sink cupboard. I had to search quickly before Lando came back, I couldn’t find it and I didn’t want to call for Lando. One more quick search of lifting things up is when I finally see them.

pregnancy tests.

-

HEY!! I MISSED YOU!

taglist

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti@dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy

[1989luvr]

could you please write something where Mike becomes more comfortable and confident in his relationship with the reader? I think he might be worried and nervous at first but then become more relaxed when he’s with the reader, feeling comfortable enough to talk freely about how much he admires them and wants to get married one day

you’re like my fav fluff Mike writer on here so thanks!!

comfortable.

a/n: oh my god that's so sweet thank you so much i'm crying 🥹 i really hope you enjoy this! i'm so sorry this took so long, i kinda went a little off but i still hope that you enjoy this!! 🩷🩷🩷

Getting Mike comfortable in your relationship was hard, he was always very hesitant, and you didn't mind. You knew he's had a very hard life and that he might not be ready for anything yet. You stood in the kitchen making Abby's lunch before you went to work, when you felt a pair of arms go around your waist and a head on your left shoulder. Out of the corner of your eye you see Mike, ever so relaxed and content, this was new but you didn't mind. "Hey, baby" you lean your head against his. He mumbles a small 'Hi' into the fabric of your crewneck.

"You alright?" you look at him, his eyes glistening in the sunset that was leaking through the half opened blinds. "You look pretty as usual, wanted to make sure my brain wasn't fucking with me." Mike mumbles again. You smile and you feel your face grow hot. "I assure you, 'm real." you turn your head and press a kiss to his cheek. He was never really affectionate but, maybe he finally trusted you more than he already did and is finally realizing how much you love and care about him and that brought a huge smile to your face like you're a teenager again. You plated Abby's lunch and Mike's grip on your waist got tighter, you laughed confused. "Mike, cmon I gotta go give Abs her food." you softly say. "One second, please?" Mike pleads. You sigh as you give in. 5 minutes later he lets go, "Y/n, after you get back from work, can we talk?" Mike questions, following you to the table. "Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?" you ask as you set the plate on the table. "Yeah, yeah. We just haven't been able to like, uh be alone in awhile." Mike shyly plays with the strings of his hoodie while making eye contact with you.

"Yeah, I agree. I'll be back here around 7." you smile at him and gently take his hand and squeeze it. Abby comes into the room and sees that you made her lunch, "Thank you, Y/n!!" she wraps her arms around your hips and gives you a huge hug before sitting down. "Of course, sweet girl." you rub her head and that small interaction makes Mike's heart swell. "I gotta get to work, i'll see you two later." You kiss Abby's head and go to Mike and kiss the corner of his mouth and exit the house and go to your car.

"When are you going to marry her?" Abby asks once the front door is closed. "Abby!" Mike exclaims, slightly embarrassed, and locks the front door. "Oh come on, Mike! It's been like a million years!!!" Abby sighs dramatically. "It's been like six months, Abs. Haven't even told her I loved her or have had our first real kiss yet." He mumbles the last part out of Abby's ear shot. After a beat, he sits down at the table and makes conversation with her while she eats.

Later that night, you arrive back at Mike's house at seven, just like you said you would. He gave you a spare key a few weeks ago so you used that and gave a small knock before opening the door, "Mike?" you softly call out. Mike was in the bathroom, making sure his curls looked just right, he comes around the corner smiling. "How was work?" he sat on the couch, looking at you twiddling his thumbs. "Pretty decent. Didn't get yelled at too bad but old ladies, so its win in my book" you kick of your shoes neatly by the door then hang your coat up on the coat hanger and make your way to the couch and sit down.

"What did you want to talk about?" You question, facing him. "Uhm, I uh, just wanted to say thank you, for a lot of things, like putting up with me these past six months. I appreciate you and I love you so much. I know I've never said it but, after every interaction I want to say it but a big part of me is saying that it will scare you off. I love you." Mike gushes. You smiled widely scooting closer to him. "I love you too, Mike. I am more than grateful to be in your life. I know that you've gone through tough times and I'm always here for you, I'm not going anywhere." You grab his hand. "I want to be with you forever, I am committed to this, to you. I want to marry you one day, I don't know if i'm moving to fast in this, I just have felt the need to get it off my chest and-" He looks at you, but before he continues to speak you feel like you're about to burst, you swiftly cup his face and pull him in for a proper kiss.

His shaky hands meet your middle and you both melt into the kiss. In the next moment you are both pulling away for air. "Sorry, your reaction was cute. I'm just as committed to you Mike as I am to Abby. I love you guys. I love you, Mike Schmidt. To the Moon and to Saturn." You smile.

"The Moon and to Saturn?" Mike gains a bit more confidence in himself, with a boyish grin painted on his face as he pulls you closer.

"Definitely." you smile before he pulls you in for a kiss.

a/n: oh my god i'm so sorry this took so long and i'm also so sorry if some parts don't make sense i lowkey went crazy this weekend #lol but I really hope you enjoyed <333

[simplyholl]

Practice Makes Perfect Pt 6

Summary: Loki and Y/N have to pretend to be newlyweds for a mission. What can go wrong?

Pairing: Avenger Loki x F Avenger Reader

Warnings: Fake Dating

W/C: 917

See my Masterlist here

*The events Loki describes during dinner are taken directly from @lokisgoodgirl ‘s A Moment of Mischief. Mostly all of his dialogue in that scene was written by her too. Thank you for letting me use your work, my love! ❤️

Russell and Nicole invited us to dinner at their house. I just took the dessert I made for it out of the oven. I look over my outfit, the bruises Loki left on me are still as prominent as the day he left them. With all the sex we have been having, they will never fade.

Loki holds the dessert as we walk next door. He takes my hand after knocking rapidly on their white door. We have pulled this off so far, so my nerves aren’t as bad as they previously were. Nicole answers the door, her chestnut brown hair hangs down in waves. She is very dainty. If we didn’t have confirmation, I would never suspect she was a Hydra agent.

She takes the dessert and we follow her inside. She leads us to the dining table. Everyone else is already here. I rub the dagger Loki concealed against my thigh. “We can’t let our guard down tonight. We will be in their home, their comfort zone.” He warned me. But all I could think about was how that same dagger felt against my skin while he was deep inside me.

The conversation flowed easily amongst the group. I listen intently trying to notice if they talk in code. Rachel asks Valerie about her and Craig’s first date. We take turns telling our stories. I can tell Russell and Nicole were caught off guard by her question. They played off each other, making the answer up as they spoke.

When she asked me, I was prepared. Loki and I had discussed how to answer it. I told her about a hike, how spectacular the view was, how Loki had kissed me on top of the mountain. Loki smiles beside me. The lies we had rehearsed were believable. Loki taught me how to lie. I didn’t add too many details. I pretended to think back fondly on the memory.

Valerie and Craig must have practiced their story as well. She spoke of their fun filled night of nachos and bowling with such passion, I almost forget she’s making it up. Rachel sips her water slowly sitting it down before her loud outburst. “Oh! I want to know how everyone knew they were in love! I’ll go first!”

I stop listening to her because I’m in full panic mode. We didn’t expect this question. We don’t have a go to answer that I rehearsed hundreds of times. I look at Loki trying to hide my fear from everyone else. He places his hand on my thigh squeezing lightly. Nicole and Russell stumble to answer. Valerie and Craig are super believable, as expected.

Rachel beams at Loki expectantly. “She defended me when a group of our…. colleagues thought I had taken an item of importance.” My mind instantly recalls the time Loki had taken Steve’s shield. He needed it for a photo shoot, and immediately blamed Loki for its disappearance. I stepped in asking if he saw Loki take it. I even suggested he check with Tony because he might have brought it in for an inspection.

I knew Loki had something to do with it. I just didn’t like the way they were talking to him. Like it was his fault when any misfortune occurred. “Aww that’s so sweet. Y/N knew you were innocent.” Rachel looks between us. “Oh no, she knew I was guilty. But she defended me anyway. That’s when I knew.” Loki faces me, winking. I am stunned. Why would he tell a real story for this? He seemed so genuine. Maybe that’s the key to lying, tell mostly truth with a little falsehood sprinkled in. I don’t have time to linger on it, because Valerie is asking me when I knew I was in love with Loki. 

She looks too eager. I know she can’t wait to hear how he charmed me so she can imagine herself in the same situation. I take a deep breath, deciding to go with the half-truth. I stick my hand in the air letting Loki’s ring shine under the lights. “This was Loki’s mother’s ring. He gave it to me while we were dating as a promise ring. I felt so special that he wanted me to have it. It’s such a beautiful family heirloom. I know how much his mother meant to him. When he gave it to me, I knew he trusted me. We have a mutual friend who suggested I get a more modern one for my wedding ring. But Loki’s ring felt like it was made for me to wear.

Even though a bigger ring is more my style, this one felt right. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I realized I loved him when he placed it on my finger the first time.” Loki wraps his fingers around my hand. He brings my ring finger to his lips placing soft, delicate kisses to the finger his ring sits on. He looks surprised at my story. But I know he remembers the moment Tony tried to give me the flashier one.

I remember how his eyes showed that he was hurt just for a moment. At the time, I thought I was sparing his feelings. But thinking back on it, I wanted to wear Loki’s ring. It really did feel like it was hand crafted for me to wear thousands of years after it was designed. That’s what scares me the most about this mission. It feels too real.

Part Seven

Tags

@lokisgoodgirl @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @ozymdias @potter-puff007 @cakesandtom @eleniblue @marygoddessofmischief @coldnique @mochie85 @goblingirlsarah @jaidenhawke @lokissidepeice @huntress-artemiss @those-late-night-feels @acciotherapists @muddyorbsblr @lokixryss @lonadane @sheris532 @ladyjames78 @ravioli19 @lokidokieokie @usagishira @javagirl328 @fifufcc @assemblingavenger @lilibet261 @foranythingandeverything @luna-y-nova @vickie5446 @lemonadygirl @joyofbebbanburg @msturi2u @chrisevanscardigan @mybugabomlb @bunny24sstuff @anonymously-ominous @luthien-elvenia-asher @iambetterthanbefore

[bengiyo]

Only Boo Ep 9 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we finished out the high school section of the series. All of our boys qualified for college, and our aspiring idols passed their second audition even if it seems like Jang is primarily interested in Payos. Payos expressed his feelings to Potae, and Moo finally had his first kiss with Kang. I’m excited to see what life after high school looks like for these boys.

Wow, we just started and I am reminded of how much I love Moo. I will have notes for this show, but I want to reiterate that I like the way this team writes gays who know themselves and aren’t shy about it.

Also, I’m very glad that Moo found someone who’s good at time management and planning details.

EP 9: Blank Letter

Oof, this is a #LipWatch2024 episode. Everyone needs to hydrate.

Aun’s torso doesn’t soften the blow of Potae not handling this confession well.

Why is he not taking that $500 bike he bought with him??

Suddenly, Shone.

So, the whole competing cousins thing is over because they talked it out? I guess!?! Sure.

I do love that Moo’s mom never taught him shame. Her stern warnings about keeping up his grades is also pragmatic.

Now, Kang, you are boyfriends who are living together. What made you nervous there? Ya’ll we at “take our time” kissing.

Alright, I’ll take negotiating intimacy and different sexual velocities.

Man, this show continues to walk a line somewhat unsuccessfully. I want this idol dating plotline to be handled well.

Sleeping on the couch when they have a king size bed? Kang, I am trying to be with you bro, but you are making this difficult.

I see what they did there with finding a comfortable position.

It’s always fun and games when you’re trying to Netflix and Chill until you find yourself engrossed by The Red Violin (1998) and now you can’t stop thinking about that film.

If they named the episode after this storytelling device, and fail to use it in this episode, I will be disappointed.

Moo flirts relentlessly, and I love him.

Potae about to learn a harsh lesson about asking your friend not to change when the way he’s always treated you has been grounded in how much he loves and desires you.

Damn, Moo let everyone know he’s seeing a dude as his first impression.

I can’t believe they have Louis out here ruining gays again.

Multiple people bodied Kang to be responsible for Moo. I hate that.

I’m not surprised Potae needs improvement, but what I’m hoping for is his ability to grow from the feedback.

I also like this boy beefing with them. I am curious if he also succeeds and they’re all forced to work together in a group.

Jang only glanced at Payos once this week, and didn’t insinuate anything about putting them in housing for the duration of their camp.

You can’t fall in love if you ain’t clumsy!

Not Moo pulling out the Seme Juice!

It’s really fascinating watching this show not want to put this show in a real gay context. Having the older characters talk around it as if they don’t want to inflict homophobia on Moo leads to some difficult conversations.

I don’t like Moo responding to the push to be discreet by blasting his boyfriend in front of all of his followers without consulting him. They’d just spoken about this. That’s not great. I really do get it, but hoo boy.

I am not interested in Potae jealousy next week.

Feeling a bit mild about the blank letter introduction and name of the episode only for it to be probably a seed for episode 11 breakup drama. I am trying to stick with this show’s goal to explicitly avoid mentioning the queer reality around its characters, especially Moo. I can see the desire to create a world around him where his queerness isn’t a problem he has to manage, but it’s also creating a painful dissonance for me.

[bts-polls]

hi. i know this blog is just for fun, and i don't want to be a downer, but jk rowling is a terf. she actively does not want trans people to exist. as a trans army, it makes me wildly uncomfortable when people who aren't fans are called 'muggles' or when people Sort the members. again, i know it's all supposed to be fun, but. i don't feel at all safe anymore whenever hp stuff is brought up. i hope you have a good day though <3

Hi anon,

First, before I get into the rest of my response I want to say that I while i can't truly empathize on this specific issue, I do sympathize with not feeling safe due to a marginalization from 'the mainstream'. I do apologize for any part my posts played into this for you and anyone else that may have seen them. I'm going to put the rest of my thoughts on this topic below a cut for anyone that isn't up for a discussion-type post from this blog.

HP was my first real fandom and as someone who was raised in an extremely conservative rural area, I'm unfortunately very familiar with this mindset and viewpoint.

I also had to do a hefty amount of soul-searching when deciding how much of hp-fandom I would continue to engage in. I've never been a merch-focused person (which honestly gave me some heartache getting into kpop..there are legit ppl out there that try to make you feel like a fake fan if you don't spend serious money on this interest... but that's a discussion for another day). Anyway, back to HP, I'm not into merch and I didn't like the movies, (I've still only seen the first two and a handful of clips from some of the others) so I'm personally not contributing anymore to the money channeling in but money isn't the only thing that fuels this massive engine.

Again, I had to have a very frank heart-to-heart with myself to see where I personally feel comfortable continuing to engage. For me, being involved in the Fandom to any degree and even having casual conversations about the themes and meanings was an essential part of learning to be curious enough to see more lifestyles different from the one I was raised in. And my story is not dissimilar from many that I knew in situations similar to mine. So I know that this body of work has actually had cases where it fosters discussions and mindsets for minority groups more than anything else of its time. I really cannot overstate how significant the HP books and fandom were in creating the first space where we were able to even explore the idea of being different from those around us, let alone feeling comfortable or even celebrating it. To us, HP was less about the magic of being able to move items without touching them but more about the magic of finding your own worth when everyone around you said otherwise. This concept takes different forms each generation, for some it's superheroes or musicians; for my generation, it was HP.

Do the unveiled viewpoints of the original creator now undo all of the progress that was triggered by her work? And should we all attempt to bury it as if it never happened? Another point of discussion, especially where I now live in the southern US with many entrenched systems of racial discrimination. (Again, another tangent but we're not here to talk about tearing down ugly statues that don't add any value to the current population).

There's also the literal logistical issue of deciding that I can't engage in anything because I don't agree with the views of the ppl in charge, then there will literally be no viable method to exist. My professional expertise is in systems design, implementation, and maintenance; and let me assure you, the world is legitimately run by people who have despicable beliefs. From entertainment, food manufacturing and distribution, to health care and politics; there are scummy mindsets infecting it all. The biggest lie in our society is that good ppl do good things and bad ppl do bad things. No. People with awful motivations do good things continuously. And the inverse is true as well. There is remarkably little black and white in the world, everything is on a spectrum.

Attempting to cut myself off from ALL of it is not possible, nor do I want to engage with ALL of it. So again, I need to decide where that line is. And it needs to be re-evaluated frequently as both myself and the world around me grows and changes.

But this really comes to my main point of this whole post. I had to do my own personal soul-searching to decide where my own boundary is with this issue. And each person should do so as well. We are all so beautifully different in our life experiences and thoughts and mindset. I would NEVER want to claim my personal boundary on any issue should be upheld for ANYONE else. That's where we must empower ourselves to understand our own sovereignty. I have complete control of how I choose to respond to a push of my boundary but not to dictate that others must place their own boundaries.

This is where we are right now. I recognize that my past actions have induced some harm, intentional or not. Again, I apologize for that. I've shared a few reasons why we have different viewpoints and may continue to create similar polls in the future. So, to move forward, I will be more diligent in tagging any polls so that anyone trying to avoid such content may do so. You will have to decide if that is sufficient for you or if you will need to also disengage here.

Whatever you choose, I do wish you the absolute best and thankyou for bringing this lapse to my attention. Like you said, this is intended to be a fun place where we can vote in meaningless tumblr polls about a group of guys in Korea that make music. I would never want to compromise someone's peace with something so trivial but I am just another stranger on the internet. The one thing I can do is try to give you the tools so that you can make informed decisions about what type of content you may encounter in my space.

I'm not looking to turn this blog into a discussion one, so if anyone wants/needs to chat further, please reach out in DMs or through my main blog @curio-queries . This blog will continue to focus on BTS polls.

BORAHAE 💜

[risingsondiamond]

Sunshine in the Mirror - A Breakdown

This will be a very long write-up of my thoughts on the Genjitsu no Yohane Sunshine in the Mirror anime. I will be starting with an episode-by-episode look at the story and then delving into some talking points about the show. NOTE: There will be significant spoilers, so please don't read this unless you've finished watching the anime or have no desire to continue watching. Also, I apologize for the length of this post and if I sound too aggressive or defensive.

Coming-of-Age Story

From the very beginning, Sunshine in the Mirror sets itself up to tell a coming-of-age story, specifically the story of Yohane overcoming her social anxiety and finding her place in the world. The first sign of this is the failed singing audition in Tokai and subsequent phone call in episode 1, where we see that Yohane is quite dependent on her mother, both financially and likely otherwise (being too dependent on others is a theme that comes up repeatedly as the story goes on). While this is not unusual for a 16-year-old, and neither is her naïveté about working more than three days a week, both show that Yohane simply isn't prepared to live an adult life yet - a life where she has to take responsibility for her own actions and provide for herself, especially when these two traits are combined with her inability to talk to most people comfortably. While it might be easy to say "just get over it," the reality is that life is usually not as simple as that. It takes significant time and support to get over that small teenage view of the world. But Yohane doesn't have as much time as a teenager in our world would due to the lack of any sort of school system to train her to be a productive adult (I will elaborate on this more later). As a result, she finds herself dependent on Lailaps to guide her through most situations, from how to talk to Hanamaru again to establishing a way she can get by every day in Numazu, at least in the short term.

While singing for Hanamaru in episode 1 is an important step for Yohane in communicating with people better, it's episode 2 where we see her take bigger strides in understanding how adult life works and settling into the role that, as we learn much later, Lailaps has created for her. Of course, her progress isn't without its bumps in the road. Being a fortune teller sounds like an easy enough job, but even that requires effort to pull off, something Yohane clearly didn't know before attempting it. That's not to mention accidentally hurting Hanamaru's feelings by insisting that money is all that matters in a working adult life (something that a number of grown adults in real life seem to believe as well). Nevertheless, thanks to Lailaps, Yohane starts to understand that some of her beliefs were mistaken. Her subsequent decision to make up with and support Hanamaru is perhaps the first sign of taking initiative that she shows in the story, with the second coming in the next episode along with the first sign of how dangerous the Calamity can be.

There's not too much to say about this episode as it largely consisted of the "Be as One" fight scene and Mari's introduction. The one thing to point out here is that Yohane takes an important, albeit not flashy step forward by getting Dia and Chika to stop arguing and start cooperating. Saying something like "hey, get it together" might not sound like anything of note, but for someone who struggles to speak with strangers, saying that to two strangers who are wielding weapons is legitimately an accomplishment (ask an introvert in real life and they will probably agree). The praise Yohane receives from her more combat-adept peers seems to give her a boost in confidence, something which carries over, albeit in subtle ways, into both her conversation with Mari and the events of episode 4.

Episode 4 is where we see Yohane get more of a glimpse into the everyday working lives of You and Kanan. While she starts to appreciate the value of contributing to society in episode 2, she's still only doing odd jobs right now, so having a chance to be on the front lines alongside girls who have established jobs is a valuable experience for her. This is also where we see the confidence boost from episode 3 start to show. There are a few times where Yohane instinctively gives a retort in response to something Kanan says, only to apologize afterward, even though Kanan doesn't think she's being rude at all. Yohane is starting to feel more comfortable being herself around people now, though she still has a little ways to go before she can really consider herself their equal. While delivering mail and repairing a swing may not be huge accomplishments or relate specifically to the trials that Yohane must overcome as a person, they do represent a recurring theme in the first half of the story: the idea of Yohane learning more about how to find her place in the world from the girls who have, for the most part, already found their own places and want to help Yohane find hers. Having spent this time learning from her more life-experienced peers, she's now ready to start acting on what she's learned so far. Going into the next episode, this is where we start to see some payoff from the buildup that has taken place up until now. Episode 5 is Mari’s episode, i.e., the episode where we gain more insight into why Mari has been so reclusive up until now. While we see that she at least somewhat trusts Dia, enough to indirectly help her keep Numazu up and running anyway, it’s Yohane who is able to get Mari to open up a little bit more and take a chance on the people of Numazu. Despite struggling with her own social anxiety, Yohane by this point has learned a few things from her peers and experienced first-hand the value in trusting and cooperating with others. It’s this experience that allows her to find the right things to say to get Mari to take a stroll through the central town of Numazu and see how the townsfolk feel about her after so many years. And it’s the combination of this experience and how she can relate to Mari that allows her to help her new friend through a difficult moment and learn to trust the townsfolk. This was something Yohane simply wasn’t capable of until now. It’s one of the more overt displays of Yohane taking action based on what she’s learned from the other girls, and one that comes up again in the next episode.

If episode 5 is Mari’s episode, then episode 6 could be called Riko’s episode, albeit perhaps to a lesser extent. After their encounter at the tree stump, Yohane and Mari largely stick to Riko like glue for most of the episode, seeing some of her self-doubt at one or two points. Just like how Yohane would not have been able to help Mari at the beginning of the story, the two of them may not have been able to spare Riko much attention if not for the growth each one has experienced by this point. While the “Hey, dear my friends” MV doesn’t depict events that literally happen, it very clearly depicts the nature of the relationship between these three: Yohane, who got a series of important helping hands from Lailaps and everyone else, was able to (figuratively) help Mari to her feet, and then the two of them together are able to help Riko to her feet. While Sunshine in the Mirror is largely the story of Yohane growing up with the help of her more life-experienced peers, these two episodes show that she is not the only one who has room for growth. Having now played a major role in improving the lives of two other girls on top of her smaller roles in helping out around Numazu, Yohane is starting to feel more confident in her abilities, and she starts thinking about taking initiative in certain situations. The end of episode 6 marks the end of the first half of the story, both episodically and thematically.

These six episodes were largely about introducing the setting and characters as well as having Yohane learn important lessons about living as a proper adult from the other girls. The remaining seven episodes make up what could be called an ‘independence arc’ of sorts. This half of the story focuses on Yohane going through that time all teenagers experience - the time when they’re ready to start branching out on their own more and no longer want their parents (or in Yohane’s case, Lailaps) looking over their shoulder and making decisions for them.

Episode 7 features the first instance where Yohane somewhat rejects the attempts Lailaps makes to help her. Yohane feels the need to take initiative and try to make the “girls’ night” the best it can be for everyone (except herself), partly, as we’re later told, because it’s still in her nature to want to be this awesome person who does cool things and receives a lot of praise from others. This shows us that in spite of her progress so far, Yohane still has some growing up to do. But it’s noteworthy that she’s actually willing to put in work to accomplish this now instead of trying to take the easiest possible path to fame. It’s also noteworthy that she recognizes how she still needs to rely on Lailaps for some things and, in spite of her earlier remarks, is openly grateful for her longtime companion coming to her aid again. Yohane learns another two important but less obvious lessons from Lailaps and the other girls: that it’s not good to ignore your own needs and desires and that it’s okay to rely on others for things as long as you’re not trying to have them do everything for you. After we have a chance to see everyone enjoying what is basically a day off, a break from their usual working routines, we see Yohane apply these lessons by asking the other girls to sing with her at the upcoming festival (a request that is met with an ominous reaction from Lailaps) as she doesn’t feel comfortable singing in front of a crowd all by herself yet. This leads us into the controversial(?) Episode 8.

The festival episode is certainly one point in the story where we don’t see as much growth from Yohane compared to most other episodes. Instead, it serves as more of a check-in, a way to see how far she’s come as well as how much room she still has to grow. For most of the episode, we see everyone either running stands or just enjoying the festival. In particular, we see that Yohane appears to have learned that the proper way to run a fortune-telling shop is to make vague statements about people’s future and not try to predict the weather. She also appears to be a little more comfortable being herself now, exchanging some light banter with the little kids from the earlier episodes, having them accept her doing so, and even getting their assistance running the food stall without having to ask them. By this point, Yohane has a very different reputation in Numazu than she did in the beginning; she’s started to establish a place for herself in the town she once turned her back on. The second portion of the episode, featuring the scramble to find Yohane’s lost staff, has several things happen, albeit in a way that perhaps could have been reorganized. The main takeaway from the ordeal is that Yohane is still just starting to climb out of her shell and is at a point where she is very vulnerable to the idea of failure. She’s come a long way since she first returned to Numazu, and she’s terrified of having everything she’s built up come crashing down all at once. While it may not seem like a big deal for her to lose her staff when she just plans to sing on a stage with the other girls, the point is that she’s dependent on that staff and doesn't think she can sing with everyone and stop the Calamity without it. If she were unable to get up on that stage and sing, she might well have retreated deep into her shell out of shame, undoing all of the progress she’s made up until now (similar to something we see in a later episode, but to a much greater extent). Fortunately for our heroine, the staff is found, and the performance goes smoothly (except for stopping the Calamity, as we learn later). The one other thing of note here is how Yohane lashes out at Lailaps over the lost staff before apologizing later. Now that we’ve had a couple of episodes designed to bring all nine girls together, it’s time to see exactly how the changing relationship between the self-proclaimed siblings has affected Yohane’s growth and how it will affect her from now on.

Episode 9 begins with Yohane waking up from a dream (which happens to give us a major clue to the truth about Lailaps) and feeling very unmotivated to do much of anything. While this could be seen as a sign of regression back into the girl who thought she could get by doing the bare minimum in life, it’s more likely a sign that Yohane is feeling lost. She thinks she’s just accomplished something major (and says as much in a way which hints that she actually hasn’t), but now she’s at a loss for what to do next. Is stopping some force that she doesn’t understand what she really hoped to accomplish? Should she just be an errand girl or a fortune teller for the rest of her life? There are probably a number of thoughts like this going on in her head, and she has no idea how to sort them out. While there is a classic case of ‘just a little too late’ following this as Yohane tries and fails to keep up with Lailaps, the next thing of note is the conversation between these two later in the episode. Beyond the foreshadowing that was actually strong enough for seemingly everyone to notice, the key takeaways here are Yohane recognizing that it was Lailaps who created the opportunity for her to help out around the town as an errand girl, giving her some purpose to fulfill in Numazu, and realizing that what she really wants to accomplish is something she still hasn’t grasped yet. After a quick check-in moment featuring Yohane fitting right in with the other girls, no longer timid around them, we have the chance to see what our heroine thinks she needs to do in order to truly find her place in this world as the next episode begins.

The first part of Episode 10 follows up on both Yohane’s decision to pursue what she thinks she’s missing and her failed audition from the first episode, reminding us that she wanted to be a professional singer. Still being largely unable to say no to people when they insist on things, Yohane inevitably gets swept up into giving a speech about her time in Numazu and her second chance at a singing audition in Tokai. This leads to another disagreement with Lailaps, though surprisingly, it’s arguable that this one isn’t any fault of Yohane’s. She does make a bit of an insensitive remark about Lailaps “babysitting” her, but then she almost immediately says that she would like Lailaps to come with her both to Tokai and to her speech, only for the wolf to strongly deny both requests without any explanation. Naturally, this weighs heavily on the girl’s mind as she prepares to give her speech, even as the usual children we see around surprisingly treat her a little bit like a minor celebrity. The fact that Yohane is even able to give a speech in the first place (at least until the absence of Lailaps and the return of the Calamity) is one of the more obvious signs of how much she’s grown over the course of the story. After all, this is the same girl who could barely talk to Hanamaru in the beginning, even when it was just the two of them. Once the Calamity starts causing trouble again, we see another, perhaps more subtle sign of just how far Yohane has come when she goes to help Hanamaru and insists that she will protect Shishinoshin (Hanamaru’s boar companion). She had no sense of responsibility at all when she first returned to Numazu, and she was too scared to branch out and do much of anything involving other people except when she had to. And now here she is, swearing to protect her friend’s companion from hyper-aggressive deer, magical lightning, and potentially other unpleasant things that she doesn’t really understand at all. While she doesn’t end up doing much to resolve this situation in the next episode, her reaction to not being able to help is night and day compared to what it would have been had this happened much earlier.

The immediate danger to Hanamaru and Shishinoshin is resolved quickly in Episode 11, largely thanks to Million Dollar. While it’s unclear how Yohane feels about being unable to do anything to fend off the corrupted deer, there is zero subtlety about how useless she feels for not having ended the Calamity a few episodes ago as she throws away the staff she’s been so dependent on. This is a curious point, as it represents throwing away the bonds she’s built with the other girls (which Lailaps explicitly says at one point). It’s unclear if Yohane is aware of this and that her throwing away the staff is a sign that she doesn’t think she deserves the others’ friendship or if she’s doing so to remind herself of her own perceived failure. Whatever the case may be, we see signs that she might be on the verge of remembering or figuring out something important when she grows frustrated with Lailaps for not sharing details about what happened between them in the past (perhaps not unlike a large number of viewers watching this show). While Lailaps takes it upon herself to retrieve the staff - the symbol of everything Yohane has accomplished up until now, our heroine is practically abducted by most of her friends, who are determined to cheer her up and restore her confidence. It speaks to just how depressed she is that even the silliest antics from the other girls aren’t enough to make her feel any better. It’s not until Chika’s charismatic speech that Yohane gains a renewed sense of purpose and sets off to find Lailaps, setting up for the final resolution between the two of them.

Episode 12 is mostly about resolving the mysteries surrounding Lailaps and how those relate to Yohane’s ability to face both the Calamity as well as the challenges of everyday life. Prior to the big resolution, however, there is one other scene worth drawing attention to. When one of the children reports that her sister is outside somewhere, Yohane is the one to volunteer to find her, insisting that the others “leave it to the local errand girl.” While it’s not the first time in recent episodes that Yohane has done something like this (she did insist on protecting Shishinoshin in the previous episode), her word choice represents a dramatic shift from the early episodes where she was very reluctant to do random odd jobs around the town. Of course, rescuing a child is far from just an odd job, but it’s the desire to be useful that matters here. Not long after this comes the climax of the episode, where we learn that Yohane unintentionally cast magic to transfer a part of herself to Lailaps so she could have a close friend (or sister) to communicate with. This scene reminds us that Yohane used to have trouble talking to people in any real meaningful way and frames this major childhood event as a way for her to finally have someone she can communicate with freely. It’s here that we also learn more about what Lailaps has been thinking this whole time, namely that she’s been trying her best to look out for Yohane but has grown attached to the point where she’s a little afraid of going back to the days when the two couldn’t talk to each other, and she perhaps has been reluctant to face that fact until now. As the two communicate, they both accept that it’s necessary for Yohane to reclaim the part of herself that she gave to Lailaps as a child, not just in order to stop the Calamity, but also in order to live a functional adult life. The exchange happens, and now Yohane is ready to take initiative again and finally stop the Calamity.

Much of Episode 13 is spent showing how the Calamity is affecting everyone’s lives and contrasting that with what their lives are like when it isn’t a threat. But to focus on our heroine once again, Yohane shows her newfound confidence and understanding of herself by using her magic to communicate (telepathically!) with the other girls and ask them for their help in one last song, the aptly-named “Song of Courage,” to restore Numazu to normal. But of course it won’t be that simple, as she becomes trapped in some sort of magic bubble before the song is finished. She again doubts herself here, but this time it takes significantly less to get her back on her feet, as some encouragement from everyone gives her the strength to break free of her imprisonment and grant even more magic to their song, even having it reach every single person in Numazu. This last renewed effort is finally enough to put the Calamity to rest (for now?) and return everyone’s daily lives to normal. After checking in on everyone, we see Yohane telling Lailaps about what she’s learned and her new, more mature outlook on life. The story (so far?) concludes with the other girls all coming up to Yohane to talk about wanting to continue singing as a group going forward, perhaps implying that Yohane would be the one to take the lead on such endeavors, a role she never could have handled even halfway through this series but is likely prepared for now.

Now that I’ve broken down some key points about how Sunshine in the Mirror is a coming-of-age story, I want to focus on some common talking points surrounding the show. While my opinion on the anime may be obvious by now, I want to preface this next section by saying that I’m not trying to attack or change anyone’s opinion or necessarily “defend” the anime in this write-up. I only want to bring up ideas here that I feel are worth considering.

Fantasy

There has been plenty of discussion over how much of a fantasy show Sunshine in the Mirror really is and the expectations surrounding a show that is advertised as fantasy. This discussion, perhaps indirectly, brings up an important question: what defines “fantasy”? An adventure in another world? Characters fighting for their lives in a world with magic and strange creatures? Or perhaps just a world with different rules compared to our own, typically including magic and a variety of creatures that don’t exist in our world? While Sunshine in the Mirror does not feature much fighting or a traditional adventure about exploring the world, it does feature a world where magic exists and which features certain important differences from our own world. The first episode introduces us first to the Calamity, some kind of seemingly magical force (which we later learn is technically part of the world itself) that threatens to disrupt or even consume Numazu, and then later to the fact that magic not only exists in this world but is something Yohane is able to wield (e.g., transforming a stick into a staff), even if she doesn’t understand exactly how to wield it. Oh, and a couple of fantastical animals in the form of Lailaps and Shishinoshin. Later episodes introduce us to other instances of magic, technology, and fantastical beings in the form of Million Dollar’s blasters, the Scarlet Delta armor set, the cannon You uses to deliver mail, Tonosama (Kanan’s frog mech), the fairy version of Ruby, as well as Mari, who has horns and the ability to hear things other people can’t hear in this world, and her familiars. Looking at it like this, it appears the anime does feature plenty of fantasy content.

Of course, what’s most important is how much the fantasy content features in the show. Some elements, like Shishinoshin and Tonosama or the blasters and armor set, don’t come up very often, and it could be argued that their relevance to the plot is minimal. On the other hand, Mari’s horns and Ruby’s very existence as a fairy are more relevant to their characters. And of course, Lailaps and the Calamity are two of the most important plot points in the whole show. It’s fair to question why the less common elements aren’t featured more, but it’s important to keep in mind that this story only has thirteen episodes of runtime (and there are likely several reasons for this), so featuring more scenes that feature those elements would require replacing existing scenes. It could be argued that some scenes could easily be replaced, and perhaps even that the show would benefit as a result, but this could be argued of virtually every story that is more than a few paragraphs long, and it may be more difficult to argue that enough scenes could be replaced to accommodate more of the less-featured fantasy elements without telling a completely different story. The writers wanted to tell a coming-of-age story that takes place in a fantasy world, not a fantasy adventure with coming-of-age elements. While it’s perfectly fine to prefer the latter over the former, it’s much more difficult to argue that the writers’ preference is objectively worse. Additionally, it’s not unusual for certain elements in fantasy stories to not affect the plot much until later in a story (some of which can be very, very long), or even just remain as background elements for the entire story, not unlike some of the fantasy elements from Sunshine in the Mirror. This doesn’t mean that the fantasy elements were necessarily utilized as much or as best as possible, even considering the show’s length and the main point of the story (Yohane learning how to be a proper adult). It just means that what constitutes a “good” fantasy story is not necessarily straightforward.

Additionally, there is one other (possibly underappreciated) element of the “Mirror Numazu,” as I’ll call it, that is different from our world and also very important to the story: the expectation that 16-year-olds should have adult responsibilities (like working) and the lack of a school system to prepare teenagers for adult life. In the original Sunshine, Yoshiko has plenty of growing up to do, and while she experiences some character development, it’s hard to say she’s ready to be an adult by the end of the story. This is not a bad thing because she still has two more years of high school to prepare her for adult life. But in Sunshine in the Mirror, Yohane has to learn how to be a responsible adult now. While the other residents of Numazu are happy to help her along the way, the fact remains that she doesn’t have nearly the same amount of time or the same support structure that she would have at that age in a modern world. That might not sound like a big deal, but how many of us can truly say that we were proper, responsible adults less than a year into high school? For those of us who have finished school, how well could we have handled being thrust into a working adult life at the age of 16? Maybe we could have adapted to it in time, but it certainly would have been a more challenging experience for us. While not exclusive to fantasy worlds, per se, this difference between the Mirror Numazu and the original Numazu is arguably the single most important and unrecognized fantasy element in this story. Perhaps it’s disappointing to some that such a thing would be more important to the story than the force that threatens to consume an entire town (and possibly more), but this may have more to do with the expectations surrounding the story than the story itself.

Expectations and Differences from Sunshine

What exactly were the expectations for Sunshine in the Mirror coming in? Personally speaking, I really only ever saw comments about how this show would be the glorious return of Aqours, gracing anime again after more than four years. I never really saw anything more specific than that. It seems there are fans who expected just that. But there are other fans who seemed to expect something else. I’m aware there is a manga subtitled “Unpolarized Reflection” that apparently has more action-adventure elements. Were fans who were less satisfied with the anime expecting it to adapt that? If so, that’s not entirely unreasonable, though it’s important to keep in mind that the other Love Live! Manga tell largely different stories compared to their anime counterparts, so logic suggests that this would also be true for Genjitsu no Yohane. The idea that the two would tell different stories is also supported by the differing subtitles: Sunshine in the Mirror and Unpolarized Reflection. While it’s not unusual for an anime adaptation to add or remove subtitles, changing a subtitle into something completely different is often a sign that the two pieces of media will tell very different stories that take place in the same world. So it seems there was a relatively low chance of the anime directly adapting the manga.

But perhaps the expectations from less-satisfied fans were unrelated to the manga. Perhaps such fans were just expecting a more conventional action-adventure fantasy story? Or maybe something that would be very different from the original Sunshine? Or perhaps just something that would appeal to a larger audience than an idol show would? Or maybe an anime that would clearly be one of the best anime in a long time? Or, based on some comments, the expectation was simply that it would either be action-adventure or slice-of-life/drama but not a mix of the two. I don’t mean to claim that any of these are wrong. But I’d like to break down each one.

Starting with a conventional action-adventure fantasy, why would this be an expectation for fans who are not familiar with the manga? Simply because it’s the most common type of fantasy story? Or because of “Fallen Angel Yohane”? There is some logic in these expectations, but consider for a moment what spinoffs are usually like. How often are spinoffs made in a completely different genre compared to the works they derived from? There are examples like the Attack on Titan: Junior High, if we want to count that, but that’s an example of an action show having a comedy as a spinoff. Arguably one of the more prominent spinoffs is A Certain Scientific Railgun, derived from A Certain Magical Index. But that’s an example of an action show derived from another action show; if anything, Railgun has more slice-of-life elements compared to Index. The closest thing to meeting this expectation may be The Idolmaster: Xenoglossia, a one-episode OVA about idols fighting in mechas. To my (admittedly limited) knowledge, this was not very popular. Maybe that’s just because it was made at a time when idol shows were not especially common, when Idolmaster fans wanted to see an adaptation of the games, and when there were lower expectations for anime in general. But even if Xenoglossia might be more well-liked now than when it first came out, it would still mark only one example of a non-action show receiving an action-oriented spinoff. Does one instance mean it’s reasonable to expect that of another idol show spinoff?

What about something very different from the original Sunshine? It’s certainly reasonable to want something that differs from what we’ve come to expect, but this brings up a few questions. For one, what specific things should be different? And how different should those things be? What elements should be removed, and what elements should be retained? And why? To focus on my own opinion again, I personally consider the main point of Love Live! to be how the girls come together towards a goal and help each other grow as people in the process, and this is the main thing that makes me such a big fan of the franchise, along with things like the type of comedy and the specific balance of comedy and drama the franchise uses. These elements are mostly present in Sunshine in the Mirror, albeit with much more focus on Yohane than any of the other girls. Can a story be considered an entry in the LL! franchise if it doesn’t have these things? Was the expectation for Sunshine in the Mirror to not have them? Or maybe to only have some of them? To be an event-focused story instead of a character-focused story? It certainly wouldn’t be wrong to prefer any of these things. But this just brings back the questions of what defines this franchise for each fan. How much can change without this anime becoming, for all intents and purposes, part of a completely different franchise? I don’t believe there are any right or wrong answers to these questions, but I believe they are questions worth asking.

As far as appealing to a larger audience goes, this would be somewhat understandable. Many of us may desire to share our love for LL! with more people, especially people who dismiss the franchise simply because it’s about idols. But what may be less obvious is that there are disadvantages to having more people engage with a piece of media or media franchise. For example, consider the popular YouTuber known as Gigguk, someone known for a dislike of traditional idol shows and a love of action, adventure, fantasy, and different takes on concepts he normally dislikes (such as Oshi no Ko’s depiction of idols). Prior to Sunshine in the Mirror’s first episode, there was a meme about how Gigguk is such a sucker for fantasy that he planned to watch this show even knowing it was a Love Live! spinoff. For what it’s worth, I have no idea how he actually felt about the show or if he even finished it (though I personally doubt he did). Assuming he didn’t finish it, then the show would likely have to be very different and probably either very action-oriented and/or have writing in the top 1% of all anime for him to finish watching and legitimately enjoy it. If this happened, rather than make him appreciate the main LL! entries more, it would likely just lead to him complaining (not all that seriously, to be fair) that future entries weren’t like this spinoff. Of course, this isn’t just about one person. This also applies to many more people who have similar likes and dislikes.That said, it’s possible that changing the anime to appeal to a larger audience would also attract viewers who would actually become fans of the franchise. But with new fans comes new expectations. When a franchise grows bigger, fans both new and old may start to think about how this increase in size means the franchise is making a lot more money, and that with more money, the franchise can and should become better. There are two problems with this way of thinking. The first is that fans may start to think that every penny the franchise makes can be applied to every part of the franchise at the same time as opposed to the money being distributed among the many different products that make the money in the first place (like spending money earned from merchandise on animation instead of spending it to create new merchandise). This is an unrealistic expectation that can lead to a lot of negativity. The second problem is that fans may apply this thinking to aspects of the franchise that cannot be objectively improved with more money. For example, fans may come to expect better stories and writing, but they may disagree over what actually constitutes better stories and writing. Some new fans may prefer to see the stories change in certain ways, while other fans may be uncomfortable with those specific changes. It could be argued that this already happens within the fandom, but with even more people watching these anime, this could happen even more. Is that something existing fans want?

Then there is the idea of Sunshine in the Mirror being one of the absolute best anime to be made in a long time. This expectation seems to assume that any of the other LL! anime were unquestionably among the best anime around the time they first aired and did not have any elements that could be criticized. And maybe that is the case for a number of fans. But if so, then what is it about Sunshine in the Mirror that makes it inferior to its modern-world counterpart? Is it just the idea that it should be full fantasy or not fantasy at all (as discussed below)? Or perhaps it’s not about LL! being near perfection. Perhaps this expectation just assumes that with enough money, this level of quality could easily be achieved (see above for why this is unrealistic). There are also two more questions that come with this expectation: how many stories, anime or otherwise, in general could be considered the best or at least one of the best around the time they came out, and is it reasonable to expect any given story to be one of them?

Finally, there is the idea of whether Sunshine in the Mirror should be a mix of more traditional fantasy anime and slice-of-life/drama. Here’s yet another question: if someone argues that it shouldn’t be, then why not? Is there a rule that says anime should only be one or the other? If not, then maybe the question should instead be about how a mix of the two should be balanced. That is, how much of one should there be compared to the other and how often should the story change focus from one to the other? Once again, I won’t even try to answer any of these questions because I don’t believe they necessarily have any right or wrong answers. I just believe they’re important questions to consider when thinking about what the show was and what it could have or should have been. And this leads into the final topic I wanted to discuss.

What’s the Point?

What exactly is the point of Sunshine in the Mirror? Why does this anime even exist? It’s not reinventing the wheel or trying to establish a new direction for Love Live! or anything like that. And it’s not telling a story about the “Fallen Angel Yohane.” So why does it exist? While it’s obviously impossible to know exactly what the staff was thinking when planning the anime, the simplest explanation is that they just wanted to tell a coming-of-age story about how Yoshiko might deal with her social anxiety and find her place in a world with no school system and where she doesn’t have her chuunibyou persona to fall back on, perhaps because they consider that to be the most important part of her character. But if that’s the case, then why make it in a fantasy world? If they just wanted to tell a story about a girl growing up and they’re not going to include any fallen angels or demons or dark magic or anything, why not just have it take place in the modern world and just have Yoshiko not go to school because of crippling social anxiety? This question also has a simple answer: why not? While the world of Genjitsu no Yohane is certainly not explained in significant detail, it does (as discussed earlier) contain a number of fantasy elements to make the setting fundamentally different from a modern world. And there are fantasy stories that could feasibly take place in a more modern world without rewriting the entire story. A protagonist with magic powers could still have supernatural abilities in some form (like Mob Psycho 100), and fantastical creatures could still appear in our world (like Digimon) and even live in our world (like Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid). On the other side of the spectrum, there are stories like Restaurant to Another World, which features plenty of fantasy elements. But many of those elements are not especially relevant to the plot and mainly exist to create a less mundane setting. Of course, there are also stories that would not be the same at all if they did not take place in a fantasy world (like Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End). And while perhaps not to the same extent, Sunshine in the Mirror also contains fantasy elements that may be difficult to separate from the story (as discussed earlier). But what I’m trying to say here is that it’s not unusual for a story in a fantasy world to be less about the world or any single fantastical element and more about something that could more or less take place in our world. So why does any writer create a fantasy story that could take place in the modern world without any major adjustments? The answer is the same as it was for the last question: why not?

Closing

To close this excessively long breakdown, I want to make it clear again that none of this is meant to attack anyone or necessarily change anyone’s opinion. In spite of everything I’ve said, I have no problem with people simply not liking the show for what it was. The Love Live! franchise is very important to me, and that includes a spinoff that does not even feature the brand in its name. And after seeing some of the discourse surrounding the show, I just wanted to express my thoughts on it in a relatively organized way. If anyone reading this thinks about any of the ideas I’ve brought up at all, I would consider that an accomplishment. And if not, then oh well. In that case, if anyone is actually reading this, then I apologize if I sounded too aggressive or defensive. And I hope you enjoyed seeing my thoughts on Sunshine in the Mirror.

[alternativememories]

both sides...

i have a friend who has sucked for a while now. i've been thinking about writing about it for a minute but i've been putting it off like everything with our friendship lately...but part of who i want to be is someone that shows up, even when things fucking suck, and i can't waste any more time. i know what i've got to do and it's time to rip the band-aid off. our friendship is over and i've gotta be real about it.

i'm fucking sad, man. i see him as a younger brother. so much of how we see things and approach things is similar to one another. the ways that he has sucked for some time are really similar to how i struggled when i was younger. he had a breakup recently, which in the big picture i thought would actually end up being good for him. i think both he and his ex have stuff that they need to work on individually and that this would be a good opportunity for him to get himself squared away.

but the spiral continues. the last time i saw him we talked about where he was with things and where he's headed and it was mostly half-assed excuses. it's apparent that he's not showing up for himself, let alone anyone else for that matter. he smokes, which has kept him comfortable in the cycle of not showing up in any meaningful way, and he lacks accountability. he's living with his parents right now and it seems like they're enabling his behavior.

it's shitty. we lived together up until the end of october and to be honest it was toxic as fuck. it came down to money and cleaning. in moving in, we agreed to not have his now-ex on the lease to keep things simple in case they ended up not working out as a couple. however, when she ended up staying at the apartment more than A and i and we wanted her to pay toward the bills, it was an issue *eye roll*. initially, the conversation about contributing was shut down bc homie talked to other roommate and he supposedly said that he didn't care if she paid and that was the end of it...(we'll revisit this)

at one point during this conflict, there was a text about wanting to be friends after the lease would end...i've thought a lot about that since. it took me some time to figure out why i couldn't help but fixate on it, but with where we are now i think i know the answer. the statement operates through an inherent assumption that how things were handled was damaging to our friendship. to be honest, it was. the bills conflict was infuriating bc the argument against contributing was school loan payments being high; meanwhile in watching behavior they ate out all the time. and you know, everyone has bills. but not everyone takes advantage of their friends to pay theirs.

with the cleaning thing, it became clear that he was frustrated by the cleanliness of the apartment but never communicated what those expectations even were. eventually we landed on a chore-board. but this wasn't without its problems bc it just led to them not being accountable for their share of the chores; beyond that, there was noticeable passive-aggressiveness toward the other roommate who tbh idk if he ever even agreed to in the first place. weird to someone to a standard they never agreed to but maybe that's just me...

when he and his ex broke up he told me a very specific story of what led to the fracture. i want to say that i found the specificity odd but dismissed it bc i was excited to have my friend back. when they were dating he was very reclusive and we were barely friends anymore. truthfully, we moved here in a pandemic and while i have loads of coworkers, he's really been my only friend here...but a few weeks ago i found out that it looks like he's lied about those specifics of the story that he told me, knowing that it fundamentally changes the reaction. it's manipulative.

in thinking about it, i've really tried to explain away or excuse the poor behavior...but to be honest, it's inexcusable and with what he's lied about, there's no recourse here...there's no way to police the behavior, and with him lying about it, no way to trust anything he says that it's even stopped. now i'm wondering what else he's lied about to get what he wants. the first thing that comes to mind is the bills conversation. it's a fundamental breach of trust and i don't think our friendship can be repaired. it fucking sucks and this fucking sucks but it is what it is...because he sucks.

[thestobingirlie]

I saw a r/nance shipper make a post about why would it be considered a betrayal to steve if robin and nancy started dating. as if steve is totally invisible there.

but the thing about this post that bugged me the most is they went on to say 'oh if robin is betraying steve by getting with nancy, steve is betraying robin in all the fics that have steve/vickie, and steve getting with vickie would be a bigger betrayal because of robins crush and no one is talking about this betrayal'

and i was just???? my dude, you are creating an imaginary scenario. I just looked, there are a total of 2 steve/vickie fics on ao3. and both of those its as part of a polycule that also includes robin. and I've been following the steve tag on tumblr for a while and I've never seen any steve/vickie content on here.

And even if there were steve/vickie content, getting with a friends current or former crush is very different to getting with a friends ex that hurt them badly at the end of the relationship.

I would know, ive been in both scenarios. I've had a friend get with my crush, and yeah, I felt a little betrayed, but I got over it and we stayed friends. I've also had a friend get with an ex where there had been a messy and painful break up. The betrayal was so much worse at this point, and our friendship never recovered, even after they broke up.

Robin is Steve's best friend. Her getting with Nancy would be the biggest betrayal to Steve possible because of the way Nancy treated Steve in their relationship (as a placeholder for Jonathan, and then the whole bathroom scene.). If Steve had any self respect, he wouldn't be able to stay close with Robin after that. Because it feels like a punch in the face when a friend disregards how an ex treated you to get with them.

i’ve gotten multiple asks about this same post lmao, and yeah it kinda pissed me off too.

their initial point about how people that are anti r//nance think about how the ship would affect stobin by saying that we’re treating her like she’s steve’s ‘sidekick’? have they honestly never had a friend before?? what the fuck do you mean considering your friends feelings makes you their sidekick?

from my earliest anti r//nance posts, one of my points has been that steve dating tammy thompson would be beyond fucked up, and the only real equatable relationship to r//nance. because of robin’s history with tammy, and her projecting this hatred onto steve, robin would be entitled to feel however she wanted to feel about it.

and steve dating vickie, while still fucked up, is nowhere near the same as r//nance, let alone more fucked up. get serious.

nancy wasn’t just steve’s brief crush. she was steve’s girlfriend of a year that brutally broke his heart. steve still has relationship issues because of the end of that relationship and they’ve never had a real conversation about it. robin dating nancy isn’t the same as steve dating a crush, robin dating nancy is cruel. and betraying her best friend.

and yeah, i’ve never seen any solo vickie and steve content, i have seen steve and robin both dating vickie, which i think more often stems from the joke that no one will ever be able to date one half of stobin, because the other is always there lmao. but even the few posts i’ve seen have dived into how stobin would kinda struggle around their attraction to the same girl and the way they would work it out.

the difference between stobinickie and r//nance is that people shipping the former care about stobin, and people shipping the latter couldn’t give a fuck about them. they don’t care that steve is robin’s best friend, the first person she ever felt comfortable coming out to, the person she literally wants to combine into one being with.

besides that, r//nance makes up a significant potion of the fandom, whereas stobinickie is a crack ship known by about four people lmao. why would anyone be talking about it?

i don’t doubt that if i dated my friends ex, who he’s told me all about, and of which i know the details of their rough breakup, he would never speak to me again. and he would be well within his rights. how could he look at me knowing i was dating someone that hurt him. let alone diving into the complexities that he would be worried about me being hurt the same way.

even if stancy had ended positively, steve would be entitled to have feelings about his best friend, who he spends pretty much every second of the day with, dating his ex. but they didn’t end well!

you can ship r//nance, but don’t pretend that you give a fuck about robin and steve’s characters. robin and nancy have effectively become two hot barbies people are knocking together, with no real personalities.

[leviackermansgoodgirl]

Bare with me on this yall cause it's my first legit written out post here. (Has 97% to do with Levi Ackerman tho)

💥TRIGGER WARNING💥 mentions of Death, Car Accodent, CHSA/SA, cursing, mental health

I'm going through what feels like a living hell right now and thankfully as always Captain Levi to the fuckin rescue!

I found out last week that my 29yo cousin passed away in a horrible car accident and this week I was then told he was on the wrong side of the road at 3am on his way to work and had to be identified through dental records as the vehicle caught on fire and his body was burned beyond recognition... my real world boyfriend found out last night that his 12yo female cousin has been repeatedly assaulted by her foster father for we don't know how long. Plus my bf also got hacked on FB and started getting cyber bullied and roasted.

HERES WHERE CAPTAIN LEVI COMES IN

So to stay sane personally, I've basically been deriving my comfort from writing in my book that's about our dear captain and y/n (aka myself too) where Levi is listening to my character explain about being Beaten to death by a horrific boyfriend but she's saved when doctors bring her back and she's dissociated explaining this event while he's trying to control himself not to go hunt that bastard down...

Anyways I got to thinking (my real world bf has focused mainly on his problems much less on me or my grief and even when he does it's not in the ways I need...) I feel like with how perceptive Levi is paired with his own trauma filled life experiences, that he'd basically be the perfect partner especially for anyone that has/is dealing with trauma.

Levi would immediately notice when somethings 'off' whether it's anxiety, depression, ptsd, a breakdown etc. He'd immediately ask you what's wrong or going on bc he knows you aren't okay and gods help you if you try to say 'Oh its nothing/I'm fine' you're 100% getting the arched eyebrow look. He'd sit you down and ask you what you need or what he cam do to help you right now so that you're completely in control and his actions will match your words perfectly because he cares about your needs and understands how difficult it can be to bring up when somethings up.

He'd focus singularly on YOU NOT HIMSELF OR HIS PROBLEMS BECAUSE YOURE HIS PRIORITY RN! He never interrupts you or points the conversation or cathartic session towards himself because HE KNOWS YOU NEED THIS! When you stop talking because you're getting emotional and know you're about to break, he'll grab onto and hold you tight against his chest stroking your hair soothingly telling you

"It's okay babygirl. Just let it out you don't have to be strong right now I've got you."

And not a single piece of you doubts him which allows you to be fully vulnerable.

I feel like levi would've actually studied everything he could about all different manner of trauma, it's effects on the brain/emotions/ personality... so you never have to explain or even question yourself because when he notices you beating yourself up emotionally he will explain why what you're feeling and how you're behaving is perfectly understandable and 100% valid while reminding you not to be so hard on yourself.

"Show yourself the grace, compassion, and understanding that you give to everyone else in the world you encounter love. " he'd remind you.

I really need Levi to be beside me right now but I fully admit just thinking about having such an incredible perfect partner helped me so much!

PS: sorry for the long winded cathartic spill yall in really hurting tonight and Levi is where so much of my comfort is based right now.

Love yall!!

[lightofunova]

DONT MIND IF I DO i arrive precisiely on time like im pepsi man, and you cant expect pepsi man of all people to be anonyous

where do i START? thats the greatest hurdle thats been presented to me today. and, you know, as i send this, ive kind of come to a realization.. that, like??? 99% of our conversations are via my streams, and i feel like thats FUCKED UP thats my bad and i apologize for that. i need to make an effort to DM more because you are such a bright light!!! literally every time youve ever popped in, said hello and gone to work; every time you helped me in pokemon; or kept company on drawings- its the highlight of the day!!!!!

youre so exquisitely yourself, you know?

youre like... i dont know if this metaphor is gonna resonate with you, but youre like when theres a really tough day. the universe is testing you, and youre tired. you go, you sit down, and you pick up a familiar game where just its sight brings you comfort. resting back, you alight the game, and you just.. enjoy. thats what your energy is like. your presence is a comfort, and you brighten the day. youre good. youre just really good. thank you for being in this community and allowing us to partake in this silly adventure we call askblogging

also, i try to not play favorites, but bah gawd, reshi is definitely up there as one of my all times. such a great character whom i love unconditionally. youve done well, and i cant wait to enjoy more of the story you wish to tell, and i really appreciate the effort you put into it. its a delight and a blessing to enjoy your content. thank you again

NDJFJDBSBSB YOURE TOO KIND HONESTLY- Ill be honest sometimes I really dont feel like I deserve such sweet words from others haha, when I first read this I thought that for a moment. But honestly this really resonated with me once I reread it, it means alot to be surrounded by such amazing people who see me in such a wonderful light and enjoy me just being me? Sometimes I get worried that me being me feels kinda like,,,a third wheel LOL or like my ideas arnt as interesting or cool as others. But its people like you that really help build me up and get past all that.

Honestly seeing you stream can be such a highlight to my day and it gives me something to listen to while I’m busy drawing or going about my morning! Even thought we don’t talk in dms too much, it makes me happy to chat on stream and just chill cus the vibes are always immaculate haha.

And honestly oml the metaphor is just too kind 🥹🥹🥹 I completely know what you mean XD i’ve been there so many times myself and have done it alooot the past few days(hgss shiny hunting rn, no luck on starters so far haha) But gah you’re too kind honestly, It always makes me so happy that people like reshi in all her silly forms and aus(i feel i saturate her alot in some places and that sometimes people get sick of her,,,shes my main child im sorry LOL i play favs) but knowing people love her honestly make me giddy and happy because it makes me feel like I can craft a story with her or make a game with her. It makes my dream feel real, yaknnow??

Anyways i’ll stop ramblin haha you’ve made my night so much better esp after a tougg shift and I just appreciate it so much, thank you for everything truly

[antagonisticism]

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

PART ONE

“Did you see that woman next to Grayson Pierce tonight?” A young woman’s voice exclaimed rather loudly. “What was her name? Bro. . . Bronan, was it? Anyways, she was practically hovering by him nonstop!”

“I know, right? What’s her problem?” Her friend responded.

“I heard she’s some kind of a prude.” Someone else interjected. “They say everyone else uses rooms or are on top of each other and she’s the only one standing by herself. Like, how can someone who works here actually be like that?”

The conversation progressed in one of the curtained off booths at a sex club called Salacious. Tucked somewhere safe and comfortable in New York City. The talk of it was a whisper on people’s lips — like a ghost story few believed was even real. A place for the elite alone. Those who were able to keep a tight lip about it came here to enjoy pleasure and release.

It was my pride and joy to be a part of it.

Except on nights like this. There were specific events we allowed a bit more lax invitation to onlookers - those not yet a part of the membership but here to reap the benefits of what could be theirs if they joined. These crowds always made me more alert than our usuals. They were the unexpected variable I had to watch out for.

I was assisting with the next set list Hayden had requested be prepared for Saturday’s crowd, confirming with some of the girls their choice of joining in, when I overheard their voices. The screeching made it apparent they had done some pregaming of their own before coming here and maxed out the two drink limit. My feet stopped dead in their tracks directly outside the hidden booth. The minute Gray’s name came up my hands curled into fists.

“Wait, wait!” The first girl’s voice exclaimed. “You know what I heard? I heard she’s a brother fucker.”

There was a beat and then a group of snickering.

“I’m serious!” She went on. “I heard she was with Grayson Pierce’s brother and then he dumped her, so she latched onto Grayson. But he didn’t want her so now she’s just kind of following him around hoping he’ll change his mind.”

“Wow.” They all seemed to say collectively.

“What a leach.”

“Makes me want to gag.”

“Brother fucker, brother fucker, brother fucker.” One of the voices was chanting before they all were bursting out laughing.

I was so focused staring at the sign above the bar just ahead that I didn’t notice the sound of the curtain being pulled back.

“Excuse me, ladies.” Grayson Pierce’s voice was as smooth as silk. “I hate to cut this party short but I think it’s time Benji escorts you. . . somewhere else.”

My eyes snapped from the sign on the wall to the right of me where the booth was. Where Grayson Pierce stood tall in his black suit for the evening. His smile was courteous, like a snake trying to mesmerize its prey, but it looked tighter than usual. His body language was relaxed. This didn’t need any more of his attention than just an ounce of it. Always in control, always dominating the area around him. Even the smallest detail was under his thumb.

I watched as in front of him the women moved their gaze up and down his body, like it was their very own private show, before flickering past him to the quiet Benji, then finally me. It was funny, really, how quickly the dread showed on their faces. They knew at that moment I had just heard every little comment made about me.

Quickly, I turned on my heel and began to walk past the stand-alone tables and chairs in the center.

“Bronwyn.” I heard Gray call my name behind me.

I didn’t respond or stop. The clack of my heels against the hardwood floor was reverberating in my head. Each step towards the elevator in the corner was just another fan to the small flame starting to burn within me. I ignored the girls that waved at me and the men’s glances of hunger to strip off the blazer I wore unbuttoned over my black lace bra. The security standing at the elevator moved away to grant me entrance. I pressed the button and stepped in as soon as the doors opened. Just one more minute until I was back in my office, away from anything that would set me off. My eyes stared at the buttons in the compartment willing the door to slide shut. When it began to, I released a sigh and leaned back against the opposite wall of the entrance, my hands going behind me to grasp the cold steel handle.

Right when it was about to close, a hand reached out and pushed it back open. Grayson Pierce stood there, holding the metal doors open, looking at me with a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. We stood like that for a minute staring at each other.

Finally, he stepped into the elevator. The door shut and silence enveloped us. As it began to creek up to the floor our offices were on, he cut the staring contest, reached out to the side of him, and pulled the fire recall. The whole compartment shuddered to a stop and I stood a little straighter.

“What was that, Bron?” He asked softly.

“It was nothing.” I responded, pulling my gaze from the buttons back to him. “I had it handled.”

“Had it handled?” The scoff in his tone was thick. “They were practically dragging you through the mud.”

“It’s just the usual gossip. You shouldn’t have interjected yourself.”

“What was I supposed to do? Just pass by like you weren’t being completely humiliated?”

“I told you, I had it handled.” My voice came out sharp and cutting. “I don’t need your pity, Grayson! For fuck’s sake, I’m not her anymore!”

My hands lifted in exasperation before I pressed my finger into his chest.

“I can handle myself now. You don’t need to come to my rescue anymore. Get it through your head that I’ve changed.”

At this point, the inexcusable anger roared inside of me. Flames had been fanned well enough. Every nerve was lit to thrum with unjustified rage. Like a wounded predator in a cage, I was recklessly lashing out. My skin prickled and tingled with the need to release all this sudden emotion and Gray was the best target for it.

“I am in control now.” I snapped, staring up at him in challenge.

This club brought to the surface internal instincts of humans some didn’t even realize were there. To dominate and to be dominated. Both sides vastly different. Where I landed was somewhere outside one or the other. It was both. A switch in me that could go from one side to the next. And in that moment, I was an unstable catastrophe unable to figure out which one I was.

Grayson watched me with deadly silence. For someone to challenge his control, or his status, at the top was wildly out of the norm. No matter how close we were, there was the deliberate order in how this world worked. I watched him battle between putting me in my place and accepting this was what was needed right now for the shadows dancing within.

“I am in control.” The words fit someone far more domineering but the tone was soft and pleading.

Something flickered in his eyes and suddenly it’s like a breath was exhaled between the two of us.

“It’s today, isn’t it?” He asked calmly.

Without permission, memories of fingers wrapped around my neck, a knife pressing into my thigh, and the poisonous words spat at me came rushing in. I pulled back from him and looked down at the floor. My inward voice wrestled with shutting out the echoes of past horrors and the need to feel validated for all this misplaced anger.

Gray didn’t reach out to me, it wasn’t his place, but he did move from in front of me, to beside. His large frame leaned back and he waited as I took in one deep breath then the next. The silence a comfort against snapping nerves. We stood there for what seemed like ages until I finally calmed and straightened my blazer.

“Brother fucker, huh?” He joked, reaching forward and pressing the button to get us moving again.

“Shut up.” I retorted, rolling my eyes.

The smile he responded with made my own lips lift just a little in response.

“I’ll have Madeline make you a plaque.”

“Don’t even start.” I nudged into him lightly, my only ability to show affection, and he lifted his hands in surrender, a soft chuckle pushing out the rest of the heaviness in my heart.

The elevator door chimed open and he watched as I walked off it onto the floor.

“B?” He called.

I turned. There was a look on his face, the same one he showed me after the hell he had pulled me out of.

“You’re in control.” He said.

The door shut as he went back down to the club. Leaving me alone to remember all my past mistakes.

• • •

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙩 — 𝙈𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠

The bar was buzzing with a changed atmosphere after its owners had completed an entire renovation. With everything so fancy and new, there had been a waitlist on who could get in. I had put my name and some of the girls from the firm down for a table back in July. It was September now and the air had a bit of chill to it. There was gratefulness walking into a place packed like sardines as the body heat kept me from shivering.

“Bronnie!” A hand popped up followed by its owner’s head. “Over here!”

“Hi Jules.” I greeted cooly, sliding into the edge of the booth as they scooted closer to give me space. “Sorry I’m late. Keith needed help with an NDA contract.”

The girls waved their hands in dismissal, all of us knowing just how slow our coworker Keith was when came to contracts like those. Always going over the same detail at least five times before moving onto the next.

“I’m surprised you made it out as early as you did.” Bridget, one of the paralegals at the firm, commented. The rest nodded their agreement.

“You know how he is around women.”I shrugged. “Just had to tell him my cramps were getting worse and he wanted me gone immediately.”

Everyone laughed and the conversation went on. A waiter stopped at our table a little later and assisted us with ordering the best wine they had in stock. The rest of the time the girls droned on about office drama and how cute Zach, our mailman, was. I usually would join in, but tonight I wasn’t feeling it. So I sipped my wine and made sparse side comments. Laughing on cue, gasping for dramatic effect, and repeating “shut up” to whatever was being spilled.

My eyes wandered the crowded bar to survey the people. Each one with their own story of the night. I landed on a man with slicked back hair. His tight fitting shirt gave view to arms with biceps almost the size of my head. The blonde in his lap was laughing at something he said and then she was immediately shushing him to try to stay under radar. However, her laughter was louder the longer the hand on her bare thigh began to move up to the hem of her barely there dress. His lips curved in a slow smile more hungry than enjoyable. I watched him lean up to whisper something in her ear. Her response was to begin to press kisses against his neck.

“Damn.” Bridget muttered beside me.

“I know.” I responded back with a sigh, assuming she was watching the same thing I was.

“B, there’s a guy that’s been checking you out. 2 o’clock.” She elbowed me and pointed subtly in the direction she described.

Reluctantly, my eyes moved from the couple on top of each other to the man heading my way. He was tall, especially for my small from at 5’4”, and muscular. He had what appeared to be similar facial features of t-shirt man. Though the blonde that had been on his lap blocked most of him from view. A weird coincidence, then.

Our eyes caught and held.

He walked to our table with purpose. There was no rush in his steps as people walked in front or around him. I could tell that everything he did was with intention. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip at just how much closer he was getting. Each step made me want to squirm. His eyes this unbearable weight on my chest.

When he did get to us, his hand rested on the booth behind me before he leaned down. Right when we were close enough to each other that our breaths mingled, he spoke.

“Hi, I’m Jack Pierce. And you are?”

[kpophubb]

Good morning sunshine🧡💛💛💛

How did you sleep?

2:26 📨

Utube dilemma 👹

Lifestyle insp

Memories 🔐

Me if I were

US 🎵

lixie is sending u new pics ~~ 🫧 ; for good mood uuuu 🤘🏻🫵🏻💋 ;

volunteers to take care of you when I'm gone;;; I wanted to attach my piccc but I'm not pretty😭 I know you will argue, because of your angelic nature,

Wishing you as always I lovely day can a way to hear from you ~,hope to talk to you soon ❤️Wait for me❤️

* 🐁 🌙 * hope all the links are workin 🙈

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡..hi my darling!! First to tell you that all the links are working🥺 and I viewed everything and I’m so 💖💖 the felix smiling pics, voice message on bubbles, gyu kisses and gyu volunteer 🥹 how on earth are you soooo cute?? You always know how to make me smile <3

♡..I know many people find felix’s voice super sexy ( and I do too sometimes) but most times, it’s just so soothing and relaxing for me tbh. He’s my comfort person. I see him more as my ball of sunshine and my sweet dose of serotonin so hearing his voice always calms me down and relaxes me. Especially the good night messages and words of consolation. 🥺🤍

♡.. I liked our playlist, my love. I’ll be hearing all the songs soon (even tho some of them I already heard). I am so in love with the emojis you added as titles aww.

♡…my week has been so so¿ I mean at the beginning it was super fun bc I felt so active and healthy, my best friend came over at my place and we spent the whole day together 😍 and then the day after, it was my niece’s 6 months. So we had a home party w some guests and I dressed up and had a lot of fun with her! But then..I fell super sick and now my health and mood is all SO BAD I have been snapping at everything bc I feel like crap 💔

♡..your memories board is so cute..😭🤍 it’s melting my heart. I am so flattered and ngl my eyes feel watery at the amount of love you’re showing me. It feels so heart warming to see you have captured every detail of our conversation and I’m just🥹🥹 and Awwh! Yes 100% I’m real. If you ever wanna see me or hear my voice to confirm, let me know okay?? I don’t mind declaring to you confidently that you’re super precious to me and I’m and will always be here.

♡…I also take inspiration from YouTube videos..tiktok videos and mostly Pinterest! They all inspire me and motivate me for my dream self lol. I have 2 acc on Pinterest , one for kpop+ anime & the other one is my personal acc. It’s here if you’re interested to know more about me personally haha.

♡…I’m very happy to be here for you. I feel so glad I can make you feel safe and accepted cause that’s all I ever wanted to make you feel. 💛 I’m still glad I could be there during your bad times those months, and I could see you getting up. I can’t wait to be here for you through the rest of your growth.

♡..and oh my god anonie!! That’s scam!! Pls go reclaim your money baby. I can understand your feelings lmao, I’m always changing my looks or style bc it feels renewing kinda?! I’m sure you’d look great with perm! <3 I’d love for you to show me too. I’m someone who speaks up if someone infront of me is wronged but weirdly enough..when I’m wronged, I stay quiet? Idk I just let it go when it comes to me. But I’m so glad you have ambitions to portray Justice and stand up for people.

♡….it’s okay if every year you take resolutions or plan something and can’t make it sweetie. It happens. I’ve been trying to be where I am since 2020, but finally at the end of 2022 I achieved my goals. Life has its own pace. I’m sure you can be the boss lady you want. 🫶🏻 and pls don’t feel like you haven’t done enough in life or life is passing away without you having done anything remarkable. Im sure even if your past has been filled w traumas and bad memories and no real progress, in the future great opportunities and memories await you. I believe it, truly. 💗 people are truly truly bad and the world is so warped and cruel I agree, 100% and life isn’t sunshine and roses. But at the end, we just have to see the good in every situation (even tho there’s not always good everywhere) and find joy in the small things no matter how trivial and hard it might seem. Baby steps to get there, remember love? I pray you’re always surrounded by nice people from now on who truly make you believe in the magic that you are. 💙

♡… noo, your thoughts aren’t a mess. I love hearing your mind, it’s fascinating how you have a lot of thoughts about things around you. It’s admirable. It never creeps me out or bothers me, so please rest assured and keep telling me everything you feel like. I’d love to be your human diary! <3

♡…no you aren’t childish!! Using emojis are cute and I feel like they help you understand your emotions better behind the message and words. Or else it’d be easy to misinterpret your words. Like if you say “it’s okay” after someone apologises to you it might seem like they’re still mad at you and upset but if you say “it’s okay☺️💗” the other person might be relieved and believe that you guys are truly on good terms now.

♡..and no I don’t mind you being older !! Omg pls don’t feel uncomfortable and think I’ll ever shut you out. Age is just a number, love. And just bc you’re older doesn’t mean you have to feel pressurised to take care of me or anyone younger than you or be more reserved and act mature. To hell with all those stupid rules and obligations made by society. Who cares? Just be you. I love taking care of people, no matter if they’re older than me. I’ll accept you just the way you are so you don’t have to filter yourself for me. I know it’s easier to open up if you’re keeping some things about you to yourself and being anonymous cause you can’t be judged at all, so you can keep doing that. No pressure hun. Take as much time as you need. I’m not running away and never will.

♡… there was a time I believed in astrology but growing up, I stopped? I don’t know it feels very unreal to me. Do humans really have the ability to deduce the events of the future? Idk I’m quite skeptical. But it’s cool to check horoscopes and be interested in it. The quotes are by ours truly, felix. So here’s one for today. 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘ ♡♡♡

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crushing - Harry Styles

a/n: just a little something that was inspired by a tiktok and @pastequeharry​ !

pairing: Harry X Famous!Reader

word count: 2.2k

masterlist

“Welcome back, I hope has everyone returned from our little break because we are playing a fun little game with Y/N, who by the way won a Grammy award for best new artist this weekend, so congratulations on that!”

Ellen smiles at you widely as she claps along with the audience and you’re just smiling shyly, still not quite used to the sound of it.

“Thank you,” you nod looking around.

“Okay, we are going to play a round of who’d you rather. Are you familiar with the game?” she asks you.

“Yes, I’ve seen others play it before.”

“Great. For those who don’t know the game, two people will show up on the screen and Y/N will have to choose one. Whoever she chooses will come with us to the next round and at the end we’ll know who is her ultimate crush.”

“Ah man,” you huff, feeling a little nervous about who they are gonna show you and the audience laughs at your reaction as your fingers dig into the armrest of the armchair you’re sitting comfortably in.

“Are you ready?” Ellen questions with a smile that tells you just how much she is enjoying this.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be, but let’s get started,” you chuckle nervously.

“Okay, let’s see our first pair,” she starts and two pictures show up on the big screen and on the smaller one at the front of the stage so you don’t have to crane your neck. “So we have Zendaya and Tom Holland. Who are you choosing?”

“You really had to start with two of my biggest Marvel crushes?!” you whine and the audience starts laughing again as you chew on your bottom lip, trying to decide. “I love them both, but I’m gonna have to go with Zendaya, because in height, we would be better. I’m sorry Tom, I still love you!” you declare, looking around all cameras, hoping they all got your confession.

“Alright. So now we’ll keep Zendaya and move on to the next person, who is… Harry Styles. Zendaya or Harry Styles?”

The blood rushes out of your face as you see a picture of Harry, memories of the two of you meeting at the award show in the weekend flooding back to your mind. Harry has been a crush of yours since probably forever. You’ve been a fan of his since his One Direction days and your career started to take off sometime around the time he started his solo career, only difference is that it took you a little longer to earn yourself a name in the industry. But this weekend you finally met him for the first time, in real life, without you just watching him on the stage with four other men.

You spotted him at the area that led to the red carpet, he was about to step out when his eyes laid on you and though he was wearing a mask, you still knew he was smiling from the little wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. Your breath caught in your throat, stopping in your track as you were holding up your gown so you wouldn’t trip and fall with all the cameras around.

“Y/N! Hi!” he greeted you stepping closer, as if the two of you were old friends.

“Hi!” you managed to speak up, feeling completely starstruck.

“Love the gown! You look wonderful!” he complimented you and you could feel your cheeks heating up so fast.

“Oh, thank you, but I think you’re stealing the show with the boas,” you chuckled making him laugh as well.

“Thank you. Congrats on the nomination, I really hope you win by the way.”

“You do?”

“Of course. Listened to the album, it’s really good,” he nodded and your heart skipped a beat. Harry Styles listened to your album and he liked it? This must be Heaven, but when did you die?

“Thank you so much! I hope you win too, though your chances are better with your three nominations,” you joked making him laugh again.

“Yeah, just a little,” he nodded. “Here, let me help you.” He offered you his arm helping you step up the few steps that lead to the area where the red carpet photos were taken and you were thankful for the help, though you could already hear all the camera’s clicking in your way and you knew the photos would be all over the internet by the next day.

You only met one more time during the evening and you could only congratulate to each other on the wins before you both were snatched away, but you still play your conversation with him in your head before you go to bed in the evening.

“Um, Zendaya is everything but I’m gonna play this game honestly so I’ll choose Harry.”

The audience starts cheering and clapping at the decision as Ellen smirks at you, nodding along.

“No need to be shy, we all have a crush on Harry probably,” she jokes making you laugh. “Okay, next up we have… Harry Styles and The Weeknd.”

“I’m gonna stick to Harry,” you answer probably a little too fast, but if you’re being honest, they can’t show you anyone at this point who would beat Harry.

“Harry stays, next we have Harry and… Florence Pugh.”

“You guys made sure to make it hard for me!” you chuckle staring at the screen. “But I’m still gonna stick to Harry, though I love them both.”

“Alright, for the next round we have Harry Styles and Niall Horan.”

“I’m upset, because as a One Direction fan, I should not be forced to choose between them,” you point at Ellen, giving her a hard look which the audience finds quite hilarious.

“I’m sure you had ranked them before, don’t be shy,” she smirks and you sigh rolling your eyes.

“Okay, no offence to anyone but Harry stays. Sorry Niall, I still love you though,” you add with a smile.

“Harry is in a winning streak, it seems. Okay, let’s see his next opponent. Harry against Chris Evans.”

“Harry,” you answer with a sigh, crossing your legs, knowing well you will not choose anyone over Harry.

“Fast answer, great. Harry Styles or Ariana Grande.”

“Love Ariana, she’s a queen, but Harry,” you answer with a smile, the audience enjoying your obsession over Harry Styles and at this point you are not even trying to hide it.

“Harry Styles or Henry Cavill?”

“Harry,” you answer right away.

Henry’s picture disappears and Harry’s moves to the middle as the game comes to its end.

“Seems like we have a winner here. Harry Styles beat everyone!” Ellen chuckles as you glance at the big screen, blushing a little, but you are hoping your makeup is covering it well.

“You said it yourself, everyone has a crush on him,” you shrug, trying to play it cool.

“Yes, but not everyone was helped out by him,” she smirks as a photo of the two of you appears on the screen from last weekend and you cover your face with your hands as the audience goes wild.

“He is a gentleman,” you sigh dreamily.

“He really is and I have to say that the two of you look great together.”

“Oh stop it,” you chuckle, playing it over a little, just to make it less obvious how giddy even the thought makes you.

“Well, now we know that he is your number one choice, hopefully he’ll take the next step,” Ellen chuckles before moving on and asking you a few more questions as part of your appearance on the show.

Weeks go by and you kind of forget about the whole interview. It blows up the next few days, but nothing really happens, people just get excited that you are crushing on Harry just like everyone else, but it dies down pretty quickly.

You barely recovered from your Grammy win and yet you are already marching towards another milestone in your career. None other than Gucci asked you to be part of their new campaign in an amazing photoshoot and you just couldn’t say no, not that you ever even thought about it. After some online meetings and sending emails back and forth the first fitting’s day has finally arrived and you are buzzing!

Heading down to the showroom to go over every outfit they want you to wear for the photos, you can’t wipe the excited grin off your face. Growing up you could only dream about owning anything Gucci, now you are going to be promoting them so it truly is a dream come true.

Arriving you are walked into the showroom that is now filled with racks of clothes and there’s a podium with three mirrors surrounding it for the fitting.

“Y/N! Hi! So nice to finally meet you after all the emails and calls!” Nancy, the creative director of the campaign greets you.

“Nice to meet you too!”

“We are in a little bit of delay, I’m very sorry about that, but we can start in about ten minutes, if that’s alright with you.”

“Oh, no worries. I’m free all day,” you assure her before she thanks your patience and runs off to finish off whatever she was doing before.

Wandering around you take a look at the beautiful clothes on the racks, blown by basically everything you see and you can’t wait to wear the outfits that were meant for you. In the back of the room, a part is closed off for a changing area and you hear the door opening as Nancy walks out first, talking to someone following her behind and when you see the person, you freeze.

Harry Styles walks out, wearing a just a shirt and jeans, looking very casual but still, unbelievably hot. The man could wear a potato sack and still look better than any other men.

“Thank you so much,” he smiles at Nancy before his eyes lay on you, a wide smirk tugging on his lips in realization. “So nice to see a familiar face!” he beams, walking closer before he pulls you in for a short hug that catches you by surprise, but also warms your chest.

“Hi, didn’t expect to see you here, though you are kind of one with the brand at this point,” you tease him making him laugh.

“I am, yeah. I heard that you would be featured in the campaign as well. Amazing choice,” he smirks, glancing over at Nancy who smiles proudly, clearly agreeing with him.

“Y/N, I’ll get the changing room ready for you and we can start in five, alright?” Nancy informs you.

“Yeah, thank you!” You nod in her way and she is already off to do the work, leaving you and Harry alone.

“So, I learned some interesting information the other day,” he hums with a serious face and he got you curious about what it could be.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, you know, I was watching The Ellen Show and you were on, playing a little game.”

“Oh my God,” you breathe out, already feeling the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks. Harry smirks down at you, clearly enjoying that he got you so nervous and embarrassed of what happened.

“I wish I knew about your little crush earlier!” he teases you, making your groan.

“And why is that? So you could pull my leg at the Grammy’s when I was already shitting my pants?”

Harry lets out a chuckle shaking his head as he hides his hands in his pockets, his eyes running up and down your figure before they meet with your gaze again.

“No. Because then I wouldn’t have talked myself down from asking for your number.”

You can’t help the stunned reaction that takes over your face at his blunt flirting, your lips part as your eyebrows shoot up while Harry just stares back at you with a sly smirk on his deliciously pink lips.

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yeah, but now that I know that you are crushing on me just like I’m crushing on you, I think it’s time to make the first step. So…” he pulls his phone out and hands it over to you and continues while you type your number in. “I’m not just asking for your number, but I happened to hear that you have nothing else planned for the day, is that true?”

“It is,” you nod, feeling out of breath as you hand him back his phone, your number saved in his contacts.

“Then how about grabbing lunch after your fitting? I happen to have nothing today as well, we should take advantage of it,” he suggests and you can’t push your stunned smile down.

“Sounds good,” you nod, biting into your bottom lip.

“Great. I’ll run some errands while you are here and I’ll be back in about an hour.”

“You could stay here if you want, I don’t mind it,” you tell him, feeling like he is only leaving because he doesn’t want to intrude.

“I would love to, but I really want to see the final outcome of the campaign and not spoil it for myself,” he smirks making you chuckle.

“Alright. Then see you in an hour.”

“Yeah,” he nods with a boyish smirk before turning around and walking out of the showroom.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[uomo-accattivante]

Excellent article about bringing a re-make of Ingmar Bergman’s Scenes from a Marriage to fruition, and the twenty-year friendship that Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain share:

There were days on the shoot for “Scenes From a Marriage,” a five-episode limited series that premieres Sept. 12 on HBO, when Oscar Isaac resented the crew.

The problem wasn’t the crew members themselves, he told me on a video call in March. But the work required of him and his co-star, Jessica Chastain, was so unsparingly intimate — “And difficult!” Chastain added from a neighboring Zoom window — that every time a camera operator or a makeup artist appeared, it felt like an intrusion.

On his other projects, Isaac had felt comfortably distant from the characters and their circumstances — interplanetary intrigue, rogue A.I. But “Scenes” surveys monogamy and parenthood, familiar territory. Sometimes Isaac would film a bedtime scene with his onscreen child (Lily Jane) and then go home and tuck his own child into the same model of bed as the one used onset, accessorized with the same bunny lamp, and not know exactly where art ended and life began.

“It was just a lot,” he said.

Chastain agreed, though she put it more strongly. “I mean, I cried every day for four months,” she said.

Isaac, 42, and Chastain, 44, have known each other since their days at the Juilliard School. And they have channeled two decades of friendship, admiration and a shared and obsessional devotion to craft into what Michael Ellenberg, one of the series’s executive producers, called “five hours of naked, raw performance.” (That nudity is metaphorical, mostly.)

“For me it definitely felt incredibly personal,” Chastain said on the call in the spring, about a month after filming had ended. “That’s why I don’t know if I have another one like this in me. Yeah, I can’t decide that. I can’t even talk about it without. …” She turned away from the screen. (It was one of several times during the call that I felt as if I were intruding, too.)

The original “Scenes From a Marriage,” created by Ingmar Bergman, debuted on Swedish television in 1973. Bergman’s first television series, its six episodes trace the dissolution of a middle-class marriage. Starring Liv Ullmann, Bergman’s ex, it drew on his own past relationships, though not always directly.

“When it comes to Bergman, the relationship between autobiography and fiction is extremely complicated,” said Jan Holmberg, the chief executive of the Ingmar Bergman Foundation.

A sensation in Sweden, it was seen by most of the adult population. And yes, sure, correlation does not imply causation, but after its debut, Swedish divorce were rumored to have doubled. Holmberg remembers watching a rerun as a 10-year-old.

“It was a rude awakening to adult life,” he said.

The writer and director Hagai Levi saw it as a teenager, on Israeli public television, during a stint on a kibbutz. “I was shocked,” he said. The series taught him that a television series could be radical, that it could be art. When he created “BeTipul,” the Israeli precursor to “In Treatment,” he used “Scenes” as proof of the concept “that two people can talk for an hour and it can work,” Levi said. (Strangely, “Scenes” also inspired the prime-time soap “Dallas.”)

So when Daniel Bergman, Ingmar Bergman’s youngest son, approached Levi about a remake, he was immediately interested.

But the project languished, in part because loving a show isn’t reason enough to adapt it. Divorce is common now — in Sweden, and elsewhere — and the relationship politics of the original series, in which the male character deserts his wife and young children for an academic post, haven’t aged particularly well.

Then about two years ago, Levi had a revelation. He would swap the gender roles. A woman who leaves her marriage and child in pursuit of freedom (with a very hot Israeli entrepreneur in place of a visiting professorship) might still provoke conversation and interest.

So the Marianne and Johan of the original became Mira and Jonathan, with a Boston suburb (re-created in a warehouse just north of New York City), stepping in for the Stockholm of the original. Jonathan remains an academic though Mira, a lawyer in the original, is now a businesswoman who out-earns him.

Casting began in early 2020. After Isaac met with Levi, he wrote to Chastain to tell her about the project. She wasn’t available. The producers cast Michelle Williams. But the pandemic reshuffled everyone’s schedules. When production was ready to resume, Williams was no longer free. Chastain was. “That was for me the most amazing miracle,” Levi said.

Isaac and Chastain met in the early 2000s at Juilliard. He was in his first year; she, in her third. He first saw her in a scene from a classical tragedy, slapping men in the face as Helen of Troy. He was friendly with her then-boyfriend, and they soon became friends themselves, bonding through the shared trauma of an acting curriculum designed to break its students down and then build them back up again. Isaac remembered her as “a real force of nature and solid, completely solid, with an incredible amount of integrity,” he said.

In the next window, Chastain blushed. “He was super talented,” she said. “But talented in a way that wasn’t expected, that’s challenging and pushing against constructs and ideas.” She introduced him to her manager, and they celebrated each other’s early successes and went to each other’s premieres. (A few of those photos are used in “Scenes From a Marriage” as set dressing.)

In 2013, Chastain was cast in J.C. Chandor’s “A Most Violent Year,”opposite Javier Bardem. When Bardem dropped out, Chastain campaigned for Isaac to have the role. Weeks before shooting, they began to meet, fleshing out the back story of their characters — a husband and wife trying to corner the heating oil market in 1981 New York — the details of the marriage, business, life.

It was their first time working together, and each felt a bond that went deeper than a parallel education and approach. “Something connects us that’s stronger than any ideas of character or story or any of that,” Isaac said. “There’s something else that’s more about like, a shared existence.”

Chandor noticed how they would support each other on set, and challenge each other, too, giving each other the freedom to take the characters’ relationship to dark and dangerous places. “They have this innate trust with each other,” Chandor said.

That trust eliminated the need for actorly tricks or shortcuts, in part because they know each other’s tricks too well. Their motto, Isaac said, was, “Let’s figure this [expletive] out together and see what’s the most honest thing we can do.”

Moni Yakim, Juilliard’s celebrated movement instructor, has followed their careers closely and he noted what he called the “magnetism and spiritual connection” that they suggested onscreen in the film.

“It’s a kind of chemistry,” Yakim said. “They can read each other’s mind and you as an audience, you can sense it.”

Telepathy takes work. When they knew that shooting “Scenes From a Marriage” could begin, Chastain bought a copy of “All About Us,” a guided journal for couples, and filled in her sections in character as Mira. Isaac brought it home and showed it to his wife, the filmmaker Elvira Lind.

“She was like, ‘You finally found your match,’” Isaac recalled. “’Someone that is as big of a nerd as you are.’”

The actors rehearsed, with Levi and on their own, talking their way through each long scene, helping each other through the anguished parts. When production had to halt for two weeks, they rehearsed then, too.

Watching these actors work reminded Amy Herzog, a writer and executive producer on the series, of race horses in full gallop. “These are two people who have so much training and skill,” she said. “Because it’s an athletic feat, what they were being asked to do.”

But training and skill and the “All About Us” book hadn’t really prepared them for the emotional impact of actually shooting “Scenes From a Marriage.” Both actors normally compartmentalize when they work, putting up psychic partitions between their roles and themselves. But this time, the partitions weren’t up to code.

“I knew I was in trouble the very first week,” Chastain said.

She couldn’t hide how the scripts affected her, especially from someone who knows her as well as Isaac does. “I just felt so exposed,” she said. “This to me, more than anything I’ve ever worked on, was definitely the most open I’ve ever been.”

“It felt so dangerous,” she said.

I visited the set in February (after multiple Covid-19 tests and health screenings) during a final day of filming. It was the quietest set I had ever seen: The atmosphere was subdued, reverent almost, a crew and a studio space stripped down to only what two actors would need to do the most passionate and demanding work of their careers.

Isaac didn’t know if he would watch the completed series. “It really is the first time ever, where I’ve done something where I’m totally fine never seeing this thing,” he said. “Because I’ve really lived through it. And in some ways I don’t want whatever they decide to put together to change my experience of it, which was just so intense.”

The cameras captured that intensity. Though Chastain isn’t Mira and Isaac isn’t Jonathan, each drew on personal experience — their parents’ marriages, past relationships — in ways they never had. Sometimes work on the show felt like acting, and sometimes the work wasn’t even conscious. There’s a scene in the harrowing fourth episode in which they both lie crumpled on the floor, an identical stress vein bulging in each forehead.

“It’s my go-to move, the throbbing forehead vein,” Isaac said on a follow-up video call last month. Chastain riffed on the joke: “That was our third year at Juilliard, the throb.”

By then, it had been five months since the shoot wrapped. Life had returned to something like normal. Jokes were possible again. Both of them seemed looser, more relaxed. (Isaac had already poured himself one tequila shot and was ready for another.) No one cried.

Chastain had watched the show with her husband. And Isaac, despite his initial reluctance, had watched it, too. It didn’t seem to have changed his experience.

“I’ve never done anything like it,” he said. “And I can’t imagine doing anything like it again.”

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