#its right next to my bed
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uhmnmm haii tumblr do you like my poster i put onmy wall :33
#its right next to my bed#at eye level#i think pinkie pie would drink the bong water on purpose btw#everyday i wake up and this is the first thing i see#mlp#my little pony#mlpcore#ponycore#twilight sparkle#spike the dragon#pinkie pie#rainbow dash#derpy#derpy hooves#weed#bong#shitpost#bastardcore#poster#stonercore#punkinz pics#punkinz post#bronycore
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had a(nother) nightmare
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#lancer#queen#art#lancer had a bad dream. rouxls comes in to fall asleep in the floor like he always does. queen followed because she needs to#Familiarize Herself with The Rituals and also hey her boy is sad#and then they ALL fell asleep in the floor literally right next to his bed#-- i had tire marks on the bedsheets but they vanished somewhere. damn it#this one isnt old btw i just drew this This Morning HEHEHEHE#its kinda scrungy but thats ok#ok 2 tag ship but not explicitly ship either if ur not into it#i love that half my 'qk' art can very easily be read platonically#i think thats an important aspect of their relationship is that they are good friends and coparents. and THEN they're kissing sometimes#this is hardly the first family cuddle and or sleep pile ive drawn. i never posted my favorite i dont think#i am just all about sleep and cuddle piles. did u know swatchlings love to sleep in piles (headcanon)#if one bird falls asleep in the cafe the odds are very good that one or two more will join them#theres a pile of birds in booth 4 all shoved in there haphazardly and eeping. swatch is coming with pots and pans.
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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siren
#bakuspecial#cw: nudity#cw: body horror#monster#siren! I think. they're bird to me#I think this has been brewing since that stream mim did of drawing dnd monsters only from official text description#and when the official art for the sirens were shown I was like. oh thats just a woman with wings#lmao like. granted. its an official dnd book available for all audience. you cant make it too Bad To Look At#(I do not agree with this but it wasnt about me. if its about me its gonna be about very few people lmao)#but yeah. after that I got slightly too into the idea of putting more bird into birdwoman#but I also do genuinely love monsters that are Rearranged Human Parts so. I couldnt commit too much to the bird scales Im so sorry#I wanted the fleshiness. the feel. textural experience of holding her hands and being like oh that's a human#even when ur eyes tell u otherwise. mmm#...I looked to my right as I was typing these tags and saw. the fucked up pikmin I tried to sculpt the other day along with the pin#and got startled#its so. its so fucked up. gods. dusty white naked grainy parsnip#I used to have that one doll I butchered wanting to customize in a box next to me and thats way less upsetting than this. man#its perfect actually I will never throw this thing away. anyways#now. now I go to bed. its sleep time for the baku#have a good night lads! you CAN have it both way easily you just need a big bat
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You guys won't BELIEVE the wip im cooking up rn
Ellie and Abby are arguing over something stupid (like who's the most traumatized or who's the most awesome or some shit), Dina is a mildly concerned but mostly neutral observer of the chaos, and Jesse is playing crossword puzzles and trying to ignore Dumb and Dumber.
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Based off of the image below
#im literally about to go to bed bc i have 5 hours to sleep before work tonight yay <3#i told myself ''i'll just sketch out this wip rq'' & the clock said 3:40pm....its now 4:50pm. why do i do this to myself gdi! 😭#inspiration struck i couldnt argue i just had to get this started#maybe im being too ambitious with this. we'll see. will work on this over the next few days#jesse tlou#dina tlou#abby tlou#ellie tlou#dina woodward#dina nolastname#jesse nolastname#ellie williams#abby anderson#abigail anderson#tlou 2 wip#tlou 2#the last of us 2#draw the squad#art wip#tlou wip#tlou ii#the last of us ii#my posts#my art#ellabs#dinellie#jessina#? idk if thats the right ship tag#ot3#ot4
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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DO U EVER THINK ABOUT HOW THE WHEEL TURNS. CAS'ALEAR
#f@tt#palisade#do u guys rmr in counter/weight where cass attends a state funeral#and then later becomes apokine when sokrates steps down#and how cas'alear chose cass as their patron eidolon and now. theyre next in the line of succesion#bc brnine killed their sibling. ans theyre gonna have to attend a state funeral#what is even the fucking state of the apostolisian homeworld rn!!!!!#like u rmr how in c/w during the funeral austin was talking about how itnwas the first time someone hadnt been buried on whichever planet#its nearly 1:30 excuse my impreciseness my wiki diving js rly failing me here#but like what is the fucking state of the historic apostolisian planets right. whwres dahlia gonna be buried#u ever think about how cass and cas'alear are both younger siblings. or at leas im believing that they r bc its never specified#in cas'alears case#fuck man. fuck man!!!!!!!#and z speaks#im going to bed#u ever make urself cry thinkin about fish
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I can tell I'm really fuckin pissed off this morning because i left the house and immediately put on limp bizkit
#sure its not the wildest shit in the world but like. its truly reserved for when im So Angry#the cause of the rage is ny roommate/landlord btw#who has the sleep schedule of a baby who cant stay in bed for more than three hours at a time#literally woke me up stomping around at 12:30 and at 2am and 5:30 and then i couldnt fucking fall back asleep#i have a ten hour shift today. im so mad#he will walk to the bathroom which is right next to my room and then begore he goes inside he will COUGH FULL VOLUME#OUTSIDE OF MY BEDROOM DOOR
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Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:
I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment
I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month
To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin
How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself
I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart
So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
#i took so long writing this nonesense for no other reason other than the fact its 2 am and no one makes good decisions at 2 am#that i am actually already feeling sleepy#if my best friend actually manages to give me 1 good nights sleep i will kiss that woman in the mouth and get hitched with her in ibiza#jk shes straight as shit and shes like a sister to me so that scenario is making me cringe but the sentiment prevails#alas dont do drugs unless your doctor tells you to kids#or your nurse best friend#bro im getting so sleepy the word “nurse” aint even looking right anymore#is that even a real word#yes#google says it is#it is not about viking mythology like a thought for about 2 seconds#okay good good nice nice#anyway#i talked about you know what so i have to tag this post for my adhd sake#good omens#crowley#anthony j crowley#david tennant#there#in case anyone cares about a post that mentions crowley for 1 second while in rhe middle of a whole ass sleep drug inflicted rant#lowkey kinda sure ive writen more in the tags now than the damn post jesus christ#hopefully ill be able to have money to buy my medication on the 12th and ill be somewhat mentally stable by the 14th#which means i might actually upload my fanfic next tuesday if my brain is working again#night peeps dont let the bed bugs bite#idk what im saying anymore#my closet just banged by itself and now im scared#sully?#mike?#bo?
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look at this cool thing i bought and built today :)
#clai speaks#there were lots of different things from a single red rose to whole apartment complex sets#i'm definitely going back for more of these sometime i Love model kits#i keep saying this but god i really. Really really need a shelf. i cant actually keep buying these i have None space#right now i keep knocking over my mew model kit when i play games because its right next to my mouse#and my charizard and dragonite both keep falling off the other side of the desk#i dont want to put them away though i like having them on display....#a couple carriages get stuck when spinning i know but i'll sand down the parts tomorrow maybe i am going to bed rn lmao
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motivational valkyries i put around my room
#the first one is from the wall right next to my bed so 'get ur pussy up get ur money up' was the first thing i saw when i woke up#and honestly i think its working already#angel.txt#valkposting
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“Amore et Timore” - King Fernando I “El Animoso”
#*why is it that when I write tags that are genuinely imporant and wordy it always doesnt save UGH#well. ill try and rewrite them.#hahaha I bring you curly haired king Fernando!!(mostly for cofi)#2011 monza gp core Fernando that gripped us all by the throat right?? right????#also i hope that his hair doesn't appear red to you like it did to me on my pc??? its brown I assure you#anyways! historical context for nerds like me:#'el animoso'(the spirited) comes from Philip V of course#it was apparently bestowed on him bcs of his perseverance and unwavering fervor in battle#and is that not the most Fernando coded thing youve ever heard?????#'Amore et Timore'(through love and fear) however comes from Joseph I#whom seb is partially based on but i thought his Latin motto fit Nando way better so here we are#philip v didn't have a motto as far as i could tell so that's why I stole Joseph's#but i do think the motto for the Spanish kingdom fits Fernando's career pretty well?#'A solis ortu usque ad occasum'(from sunrise to sunset) and i think that suits Fernando's 'longest f1 career ever' p well#anyways I sent a sketch of this to cofi the other day like yeah I probably wont finish this#and now here i am on 5 am on a tuesday grinning manically sleep deprived like HERE YOU GO#i think he looks very cute in this!!! i really did a lot of work on his eyelashes...very important detail to me#he kinda accidentally looks like Louis XIV unfortunately#but thats down to his hair I think. it looks a lot more like the traditional wig style from then compared to what I typically draw#but god imagine being seb in this au!!! you get to wake up next to this majestic beast....#seb would have this painting framed over his bed or something. i mean who wouldn't????#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#boy king au
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ayo so what the FUCK was up with the vibes in the tommy "takes care" of buck after his dislocated shoulder scene. that was absofuckinglutely RANCID
#the way tommy was s o o fucking dismissive of everything buck said#the way he was acting like it was a CHORE for him to be there#the way he was treating buck like a CHILD (no more screen time. lights out. the FUCK)#it is one thing to be a general dry sarcastic kind of person and another ENTIRELY to be whatever the fuck tommy was in that scene#911#911 spoilers#i just think. where is that new relationship enamorment????#the 'oh my god i like this person so much i want to be near them always and hear everything they have to say even if its nonsense' mindset#also why the fuck were they sleeping downstairs#no WAY a good boyfriend would have let buck SLEEP on that GODDAMN AWFUL armchair????#a good boyfriend would have found a way to help him get comfortable in his BIG COZY BED - and wouldve been right there next to him too#not on the couch#that was just. awful actually lol
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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He watches over me
[ID: a photo of 6 euro Axel standing on my windowsill.]
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