#its ridiculous how much i care
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
this is so real. im so scared to misinterpret a character when i draw. What if this dialogue is wrong? would they speak like that? would they do that? that expression is too/not very expressive. they wouldn't pose like that! would they have knowledge of this? etc. Especially the characters i say i love cause what of someone's like "oh wow they really don't love that character at all cause you would've known ____!"
As soon as someones interpretation is slightly different then mine im like "oh well!! it must be wrong!!" unless i check to reconfirm it. Or i ask about it (which is why i ask so many lore questions LOL).
One of my biggest fears when seeing people talk about āFandom misinterprets all my blorbos and it makes me want to kill myselfā is the feeling like oh my godā¦ā¦ what if Iām misinterpreting the blorbosā¦ā¦ā¦ what if someone thinks about me like thatā¦ā¦. just bury me alive atp
#why do i care so much#help#it's not that serious but i act like im going to die if my favorite blorbo is slighlt ooc#toffeesbabbles#its ridiculous how much i care#whoops this became longer than i intended#sorry
80 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Learn from who? Learn from you? You are still a brat. What do you know? You're only three years older. Like you are any better than me. You're 21, and still a virgin. What are you proud of? I think you can't do it.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 06
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#*gestures at the caption* this is honestly the funniest argument they could possibly have idfk what to tell you. it's very ai di#meanwhile whatever's going through chen yi's head rn has recently been doused with 'the boss doesnt care abt me like that'#after watching cdy and zml at dinner. like chen yi already knows *before* ep9 & ai dis confession that cdy will never look at him#(the diff. between this scene & ep9's. is him failing in regards to the gang as well in cdy's eyes. he goes from feelings of disappointment#& irritability to complete despair and both times he drinks to cope. bc hes not enough in cdy's eyes in ANY of the ways he wants/hoped)#so honestly the crisis chen yi goes thru right here isnt unfounded at all hes literally dealing w an inadvertent rejection of his feelings#its chaos in his head and ai di is picking at him again and the wine is tilting in his blood and then- 'learn from who? learn from you?'#like what do YOU know about love ai di (WHILE CHEN YI'S PULLING HIM LIKE THAT-) so OF COURSE ai di goes for the deepest dig he can.#'i bet you cant get hard that explains how much of a coward you are'. its ridiculous the ways in which they push each other over the edge#but im ngl im kind of obsessed the way chen yi's tipsy line of thinking 'learn from you?' turned into the action 'fuck it learn from ME'#ANYWAY EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO 'LOSE CONTROL' BY TEDDY SWIMS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. THe most chen yi song pre-ep9
82 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
This one is in response to @fizzytastic asking
"I would LOVE to know what you mean regarding the light novels."
Dazai in the light novels has been down BAD since the day he met Chuuya.
I know the whole "must be because I love you" can be viewed as a joke but my man actually "whispered with a look of regret" at being shot down.
He also proceeded to cheat during the game by tampering with the machine to ensure Chuuya would lose the bet and become his dog. He was also stated as being in awe of Chuuya's fighting ability, repeatedly refering to him as "incredible". Dazai also flat out admits to wanting to try out living because "Chuuya convinced" him.
He is even described as having forgotten how to breathe watching Chuuya fight.
Moving on to the events of Stormbringer, Dazai spends too long exposing his obsession with Chuuya, telling the big bad that he spends all his "days and nights thinking about ways to annoy Chuuya".
He further proceeds to insist that Chuuya is human because of how strongly he hates Chuuya and due to a specific word it can be viewed as him saying Chuuya would hate him less if he wasnt human as was stated in the stage play of the same.
Furthermore at the end of Stormbringer he offers to come up with a new plan to give Chuuya an out if he needs one when he has to use corruption as a last resort. And he fully intends on coming up with a new plan within 2 minutes.
In general Dazai does a lot of staring at Chuuya throughout the light novels. On a lighter note Dazai jokes about wanting Chuuya as his personal maid at one point and demands that Chuuya let Dazai look inside his head and know everything there is to know about him.
But then we move onto the dragon head conflict as mentioned in Dead Apple where after making light of an executive's death and getting punched in the face by Chuuya, Dazai is so shaken up by Chuuya implying he's inhuman, he actually pulls strings to try and bring the conflict to an end. He also stops corruption by touching his cheek and pulls Chuuya's head into his lap while he is unconscious after his fight with Shibusawa. The following is from the manga.
Now everyone knows about the whole Snow White and Prince reference but in the light novel its clarified that Chuuya's ability was not affected by the fog and Dazai knew this but he still forces his head down. Even more telling is that Dazai cradles Chuuya's face for no real reason because Corruption had already been nullified when Chuuya made skin to skin contact when punching him in the face.
And of course that was how their expressions are drawn in the manga panel
Then we move to the present day and you have Dazai saying this to Sigma about Chuuya
But then his comment about Gide has him claim the exact same behaviour is romantic in his messed up troll brain
Basically Dazai has a history of staring at Chuuya in awe since 15, "jokingly" confessed at 15 and then got somewhat upset about the rejection, cheated to be able to keep Chuuya as his, repeatedly makes remarks that imply he is vaguely obsessed with him at 16, tends to let Chuuya rest his head in his lap post corruption, has nullified him twice that we have seen by touching his cheek (as per the movie and once as per the ln). Is actively affected by how Chuuya views him (which was shocking to me).
Aside from that he has also talked about Chuuya to the ADA off screen because Yosano knew about Chuuya and his ability (though this could just be a random update about the membera of the mafia to watch out for during meetings) and I heard he talked about Chuuya to Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai ln.
This is not counting any of the seriously insane amount of wan content because I dont view it as canon or atleast entirely canon but there Dazai admits to keeping 27 journals detailing things about Chuuya and its an exaggeration of the canon fact that Dazai prides himself in being a Chuuya Nakahara Encyclopedia. It also plays with how close they both actually are with several character refering to them as besties, Chuuya being forced to admit he doesnt actually hate Dazai.
(Oh and this is not even considering just how much Dazai touches Chuuya, like in the manga there is a part where Dazai keeps tugging at Chuuya's hair and refusing to let go while complaining about how much he doesnt want to touch him. Just let go dude...)
So yea, I would not be surprised if Dazai has his vows prepared by the time the last pre defection ln drops. Ofcourse this is mostly a lighthearted joke about Dazai being down bad but in all seriousness, Dazai genuinely cared about and still cares about Chuuya and its made extremely obvious throughout the novels. Its actually worth noting that it was actually Chuuya who seemed to be more vitriolic towards him until the end of Stormbringer where Dazai actually gives Chuuya a choice and shows open concern for Chuuya's needs. Hell Dazai was also the one insisting on Chuuya's autonomy, while he keeps insisting Chuuya is his dog, he hates the idea of people using him like a tool, its why he always gives Chuuya a choice. Chuuya always actively chooses to go rescue Dazai in Dazai's plans of getting kidnapped. Chuuya can always go, "nah, I dont wanna use corruption" but he doesnt because he knows since the events of stormbringer that Dazai will always give him a choice even if corruption seems like a last resort.
Chuuya has good reason for trusting Dazai. Its cause Dazai has in fact proven to him that he can trust him. Its why he went in to fight a dragon despite being told Dazai was possibly already dead.
(And yea I know the current arc would have people go "lol he tried to drown Chuuya, he clearly doesnt care" and you know what? That's so dumb. Dazai tried to drown Chuuya, yes. But we dont actually know what is happening with this arc rn and what he is doing or if Chuuya is in any way involved in whatever he is doing. Dazai said all those things and there was no need for him to say that but the fact that he even remembered several moments they shared, yea no, he was clearly affected by it. Maybe I am wrong and Asagiri decided to yeet out all of Dazai's characterization we saw with his behaviour towards Chuuya in 2 entire novels of his past but IDK I think I'm gonna wait till this arc ends and everything unfolds before making a conclusion about how Dazai is such an asshole he tried to drown his partner.)
Seriously, vows are like the least they could do at this point.
#soukoku#ah my ramblings#i just really really love the light novels#i am mostly joking about the romance of it all#mostly#but Dazai cares about Chuuya and idk I think this is such an important aspect of Dazai's character#like even if you dont lile the ship its really not fair to ignore how much Dazai genuinely cared for Chuuya#not because it supports the ship but because it shows that Dazai despite his claims of being a monster was ridiculously human#he saw this boy he was fasicnated by and he said- I need to keep him as my friend#and proceeded to do it in the most unsocialized troll brained clown way#i love this boy so much#someone hug him please#dont get me wrong I dont think dazai and chuuya's relationship was super healthy but it wasnt as toxic as people make it seem either#yes Dazai desperately needed Oda and Ango but Chuuya was also and is still an important part of his life#long post#i am not going back to chexk for writing errors. I'm sleepy.
879 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Kudos to anyone making ocgrams, that's really an impressive amount of content šš
#i was going to (and still will) make a post about how i love seeing everyones ocgrams and the care and creativity they pour into a new cast#but DAMN its a ridiculous amount of art and writing especially at this pace (compared to like the canon release schedule)#i decided to treat myself and in between other things ive started making all the key art stuff for my sona#not even writing anything -- just choosing titles and making mock up art/albums/thumbnails/minigrams and JEEZ its so much š#and its about me!! i dont even need to make choices#you guys are awesome for doing this plus full vd/mv/timeline writing for TEN UNIQUE CHARACTERS hello???#very cool.....#rose rambles
37 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE šššš IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#āwhere would you be without herā WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema š¬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe ššš#āshe looks so badassā if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man š#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Some waves! Cuz I finally bought a shockwave toy to go w my soundwave one! So.. I wanted to draw some art of them to celebrate! Cuz I was happy about that lolā¦ Iāll finally have both my fave boys..!
#transformers#humanformers#shockwave#soundwave#maccadam#wavewave#doodles#I have a starscream too but heās not where Iām living at currently! itās the cool g1 movie one w the cape!!#now I just needā¦ a megatronā¦.#*starts disassociating remembering how the only megatron Iāve seen so far that Iāve rlly liked and wanted is masterpiece megatron*#ITS THE EXPRESSION. I JUST! I fucking ADORE that expression on him! I love that so much more then him like frowning#bUT ITS SO EXPENSIVE. ITS RIDICULOUS. I CANNOT POSSIBLY BUY THAT AND NOT FEEL LIKE AN IRRESPONSIBLE IDIOT#Iām gonna need to. the only way Iām going to get that megatron is like. when I get into a relationship w somebody Iāll tell them.#if they want to get married. they have to buy me masterpiece megatron instead of a ring#thatās the only wayā¦.#like! Guhā¦ I usually donāt rlly care about the quality or whatever of a toy. like the soundwave and shockwave I bought were both#pretty reasonably priced!#but I just.. the expression on masterpiece megatron is SO GOOD. I love it so much!!!!! I want it so bad! itās so much more endearing#then other megatrons! but itās so expensive ;_;#but uhā¦ yeah! either wayā¦ hereās some wave art ghgh#also in looking for a shockwave to buy I found the funko shockwave.. and thatās not the one I bought!#but also likeā¦ I saw it and I was likeā¦ omg.. since shockwave doesnāt have a face for them to mangle#this is actuallyā¦ kind of cute ghgh#like.. funko shockwave is surprisingly not shit ghgh#but yeah!!! the shockwave I got should get here in a few days Iām exciteā¦
171 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
At work, both my cursed fucking manager and the one trainer who will not stop kissing her ass: Hiiiiiii so you're doing such a great job and we really appreciate it! We just wanted to make sure that you remember that you can always ask for help :) we're a team after all and communication is important!
Me, bouncing inbetween four different trailers as they either follow me around or just kinda stand and talk to me: Okay so when do I ask why the fuck you're giving me four trailers in the first place and why I'm the only person this happens to. Answer quickly.
#literally I was like. its bs that I ever get in trouble for missing packages because I cannot do all of this stuff at once#there are multiple people in them sometimes. so why am I the only one responsible when packages are missing#also why are you telling me that its on me to ask for help when its ridiculous that I have this much stuff to take care of at all#I shouldn't HAVE to ask for help because of your bs manager and decision skills !!#ya you can tell me how wonderful of a job I'm doing but I kinda do not care what yall think#show me how great I am by giving me two trailers max. smile.
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME
#da#nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl š#if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video#except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode#idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks#no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives#gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point#I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on#like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild#another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing#or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book.#anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it#come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES#u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN#but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it#hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that#actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too#it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex.#the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though.#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be#y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time#welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets#I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed 2
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
My thoughts on Sigma Klim are honestly pretty nonexistent except for one big one that just says āBOOBSā
#zero escape#sigma klim#those thangs are deadly#but hm damn kinda strange how like hes gotta be one of the most important lore characters in the series but i just like. forget about him#it was fun in ztd when he put a bucket on his head and the whole catboy thing is fun#but ah idk when it comes to the lore past 999 i dont really care much unless it involves 999 characters like junpei#its not even that i dont like vlr characters but they just didnt stick in the same way#except dio i guess akdhsk because he is just the most ridiculous character ever god
22 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
* tries not to make a post about how i think we are all going to die soon *
#Evetything is exactly like 2016 its all ''Haha This is so ridiculously evil it will never be allowed to happen'' which means it will#while a bunch of popular 'funny' posters on here just circlejerk about how much they dont care#i have to stay alive for very unimportant reasons but its already making me look delusional
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Photo
The Greene family
32 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
this need for approval is a fucking disease it is absolutely mind boggling that i need feedback on what i say & post or my mind decides everyone takes a look at it & goes yep here goes this annoying freak again talking about his annoying freak things. & im not even like that with everyone. it literally does not fucking matter oh my goddd grow UP! im normal now. i understand my minds machinations. misto is nodding in approval at me
#i do not have this kind of insecurity with anyone in bitches. it is baffling that im letting it get such power on me elsewhere#i know its because of the difference in familiarity & like. knowing bitches much longer. & the fact we are from the same community#it is definitely a trust issue in this case but there isnt really a fix for it. except trying to get closer to everyone i guess?#but that would feel forced. i mean i love making friends & i love having close friends & i do not like feeling like this#but im also not gonna force friendships just so i can stop being insecure. its ridiculous conceptually#not that i have beef with anybody of course. just not sure anybody would care to get closer to me atm#considering what people have seen of me i would very much understand the opposite. not in a self conscious way#though that would be quite the opposite of how i personallt would react probably... my complexes#apologies for ruminating on my thought process in front of tha whole world to see but admittedly u did not have to read it.#i suppose ive gotten worries waap was mad at me in recent ish times but the thing w waap is that if theres an issue ill know#& like. waap & i are like two peas in a pod like they say... its presence makes me overall more comfortable & safe#damn. does it realise how important it is to me. emotional break im tearing up thinking about it fuckkk i love my friends#bahhhh okay anyway... i love my bitches. my god. ppl complain about that server's channel system#but its my beautiful maze where my beautiful friends are... & i can trust them so so much i have a channel for being a hater...#fukkkkckkck did i woke up sappy as fuck what is going ONNNN ahhhh i love mynfriedns collapses to my kenes#IS IT SO BAD TO WANT MORE FRIENDS TO LOVE JUST AS MUCH!!!! & TO TRUST AS MUCH!!
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Being a firegray shipper in the warriors fandom is such a drama, you think you have problems with your rarepair or unknown ship well you really don't understand real pain, it's supposed to be simple this generic basic shipping that could have amount of content by default because they are "BFF" in canon yet still nothing no sound no much talk, they have amount of paragraphs, lines, phrases, iconic moments in the books; the "Always Firestar", "I would give my life for you", "no cat would feel the same he felt for Graystripe for four long seasons"...yet still nothing it's so goddamn funny that makes me laugh š and cry š at the same time!! how doomed this pair can be tell me!
#not to mention that supposedly one of the aithors wrote a very intimate fic about them#that can be taken as an oficial fanfiction about your own characters that are supposed to be friends in canon#how insane that can be tell me#at this point i just shipping by the amount of facts that could make it ridiculous canon but yet still there isnt so much talk#it makes the ship more fun to me ig#im sorry firegray writers/supporters/artists there but i think you have to agree wit this#doomed they are really doomed#not just by the books if not by the fandom#i get it really not the most sweeter cup of tea when you reread with some more media literacy than when where you are kid or by second chanc#but really at this point we are all ignoring certain things of canon having our own interpretations about the character we care#and yet still nothing#I dont remember to well but they have something really#not sweeter but soury and its okay that way#no need to be that cinder situation#we would kill erins and they know it#platonic soulmates at best for me in canon#thats my talk#dont mind the firegrqy shipper me in me wanted to rant#like crazy
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I think its so funny when ppl have this attachment and loyalty to this one person in their life where they kind of just like them better and therefore listen to whatever they say like it's not only a little strange
#and this exists in varying degrees right#but idk ive never had that kind of attachment to anyone nor do i let what i do be affected by anyone else#or maybe its the way they phrase it#i enjoy fucking with my boy rn bc like he doesnt take shit from anyone but when he hangs out with his bestie#well other ppl need to be allowed to hangout and permission has to be asked for anyone else to join#u cant just pull up#and everytime he mentions it i laugh a little to fuck with him#bc i could care less if im allowed and im not gonna get upset abt it like his other friend has before#and it bothers him sooooooo much so so much its so fun to me#im evilllll#bc honestly it is a little ridiculous like pls be so for real#and i mean to add that truly i dont care if im included or not bc tbh i kind of dont care for his friend that much#i just think its interesting how straightforward he is abt making it known abt that arbitrary nature of the situation#and its not weird its not smth discussed between them both#thats just how it is
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Sometimes you read a fanfic and you're like oh, this was written by someone who has no experience with suicide but is giving it a damn good try and you just stare at the words, mouth fully agape.
#kai rambles#im just#im not gonna try and gatekeep anything#like that would be ridiculous#but my word#if someone has just attempted suicide#telling them that death is not enough penance for what theyve done and that living is the only punishment they deserve#that is not gonna convince them not to attempt suicide again#you do not try to guilt someone is suicidal#like it might be an honest statement of how you feel about them#but if you want them to not attempt suicide again?#you do not tell them that kind of shit#ah yeah you know what will convince this guy not to attempt suicide again?#telling him that he deserves to suffer more and live through that suffering#my god im just#like i get it. its difficult to know what to say in that moment (and it takes several attempts for it to get any easier)#but jesus fucking christ man#do you really think someone suffering so much they tried to end their own life is gonna be convinced by ''you should suffer more actually''#vent post#this is a vent post#im just.#i cannot#just go with ''i love you'' or ''there are people here who care about you and want you in their lives''
2 notes
Ā·
View notes