#its really quite obvious
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an angle i enjoy in cosmic/eldritch horror is when, instead resorting to the old classic "the horrors being so incomprehensible that they break your brain and drive you mad" cliché, the premise is that in comprehending the horrors you are so changed by the experience that your new state is indistinguishable to an outside observer from madness. you comprehend the unknowable just fine, but actually communicating that to anyone else is impossible because they just don't have the mental framework required to understand it. the eldritch horrors don't drive you mad. what does is the ordinary everyday horror of finding yourself isolated, ridiculed and doubted at every turn, no matter how hard you try to make yourself heard and understood.
#🐉#this is why i liked the way tma did it#where the eldritch is more or less a direct allegory for trauma (among other things)#and how those experiences can make the entire world seem like a different place and make you feel crazy#when other people dont understand what seems so clear and obvious to you#apartment 'complex'? actually i find it quite simple. no guys really its so simple you gotta believe me. why dont you believe me.
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didnt plan on posting this today originally but decided that it actually fits really well with the beginning of the spooky season, so!
a fake doai movie poster inspired by posters for movies 'a short film about love' and 'on the silver globe', both by andrzej pągowski! and just for fun i also made a version with a shoddy polish title, how authentic am i right
#doodlesoup#doai#dreams of an insomniac#pastra#pastraspec#i love tags cause i can share additional stuff here while not feeling like im rambling too much#anyway lankmanns 'eyes' are actually the sun and moon and im mentioning it mostly cause i feel like it aint really obvious..#theyre both out cause i wanted the landscape of eastridge to look more surreal. one could almost say.. you know.. like a dream#one of an insomniac even#also to anyone curious the pl title is “town of hallucinations”#i had to get a little creative since the word 'insomniac' doesnt quite exist in polish#so i decided to keep the general vague vibe of the original title while trying to allude to the actual story#i also wanted to make it a little cringey and weird since thats how most of translated titles are i feel#in that sense its also inspired by the pl title of the fnaf movie which is basically “five nightmarish nights”#questionable but kinda charming yknow?#anyway im stopping the yapping session here lmao can yall tell im really autistic about translations?
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taurgingi
#“why is this gross beast so cutes?” well u see#its like a stuffed animal#but its stuffed with hair. so really quite vile#its “fluffy” tail & mane is just where the seams rip the most & the more stuffing pops out#..a detail im not sure is as obvious in my more recent ging art. WHOOPS#henrys doodles#oliver swift#phonegingi
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drawing along with the flocking paleostream
#Mobulavermis#Saltasaurus#Simurghia#Psilopterus#paleostream#paleoart#paleozoic#mesozoic#cenozoic#pterosaur#terror bird#birds#sauropod#cambrian#dragon draws creatures#im really happy with how the cambrian critter turned out i like the colors n stuff like thats what i want my paleoart to feel like yaknow#it looks very like.... natural#meanwhile its uhh quite obvious i cant draw sauropods
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I do have to ask. Was the docsuma ever planed or did they force themselves into exsistence. did you go into this expecting them to have so much homoerotic energy or did it just spawn b4 bc of how other people went insane over doc and Xisuma (separately)
it was 100% completely genuinely unplanned.
I went from a diehard rendoc shipper expecting them to be lowkey The Ship for dbhc doc (or not making doc a focus character at all, really), to thinking it would make a lot of sense/would be funny if Doc ended up being an android mechanic, to thinking it would be cool if Doc and X were close in this au because they both do android tech, to then being like... oh they can be research partners.... to then planning the [REDACTED] comic to then thinking... oh... what if they cared a lot about each other :(((( and the dynamic kinda stole my heart tbh
BUT IT WAS ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO BE LOWKEY bc i know docsuma is... Very Rarepair-y even though doc and xisuma have been good friends for aaaages hehe
THAT BEING SAID I DON'T PLAN ON SHOVING THIS SHIP IN ANYONES FACES LOL they ended up being kinda downbad for each other in a few of my unposted side-drawings but i don't want to make it a central thing unless people really wanna see it LKDFJGLKDJFG
#basically it started as a joke and then it very quickly stopped being a joke#but i dont wanna be obnoxious abt it bc quite frankly besides intense pining i don't think the characters would be obnoxious abt it either#dbhc ask#dbhc#dbhc doc#dbhc xisuma#dbhc docsuma#docsuma#ask#anon#in fact i wasn't really planning on making the docsuma thing confirmed or obvious for a while#but the GUY.EXE song thing started a rabbit hole i couldn't help but keep digging hahaha#its been fun to watch people put the pieces together =w=#but anyway!! i had wanted to say all of this at some point anyway so ty for the ask!! :>
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this fandom really saw some ppl having some joy and whimsy making different blogs for fun and really went "lets spread even more hate! lets be even angrier than before and say people are disgusting freaks just because they enjoy something harmless! thatll show them!! never let anyone be happy ever again!!"
#birdcage rambles#sun and moon show#sams#tsams#the sun and moon show#like.literally those blogs r Just For Fun#and its quite obvious with the way they interact with each other and with the anons#then u have ppl over there that r purposely being hateful just to ''spite them'' or wutever#do ppl being happy really make u that upset? bc u cant allow urself to enjoy something eithout being angry at ppl?#its like walking across the entire playground just to throw rocks at someone bc they looked like they were having fun#like its just fucking useless#learn to have some joy and whimsy
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let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!
#ann plays awakening#awakening trio#sometimes i forget owain is literal royalty and like#in the bad timeline hes probably like. the second most important person there?? unless luci has a sibling#obviously she’d need her own retainers but unfortunately i am thimking awakening trio thoughts. i miss. i love them in any form#that they are handed to me#i love them as best friends. as forced circumstance allies to family. as lovers.#i know i said lovers in this post but im not sure they’d ever label it as that#to me its very much ‘its not exactly romantic but its too intense to be platonic’#what i am getting at is queer platonic awakening trio btw. in case that wasnt obvious#like no matter who they are or where they go they are eachothers people dude. like literally do not separate#anyways im gonna be thinking long and hard about who should be everyones parents in this timeline#i have what i call my ‘main’ pairings and thats what i use for most of my headcanons (ex prince inigo)#but i’d like a completely separate one for owain retainer trio#i think im pretty set on fred!severa#i couuuldddd pick fred!inigo which i do think is SUPER compelling as well but something about freddy!severa… also shes so cute as a brunette#like sorry… shes just so beautiful#ive been having a lot of thoughts aboht tharj!inigo and i need to figure out if thats current bias talking or if im cooking with that one#i got no idea who owain’s second parent should be. robin maybe? idk#i mean his second parent isnt quite as impactful in regards to trio dynamics in this case just because he’s always the prince but. idk#i really like the idea of half plegian owain but i ALWAYS run half plegian owain cuz im always pairing lissa with robin or henry so its like#this isnt new 😭😭😭 but god. PLEGIAN OWAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hm. though. hear me out. manakete owain???????????????? ehhh????#sorry. idk. i love how changing the parents of the second gen can change their characterization. its like my favorite thing ever#i think its why im so attached to all of them. theres always new things to explore with them!!! its so much fun!!!!!!#graaarfggjjjhhhhhhn!!!!
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one thing I find really interesting, and kind of sad, about Scaramouche/Wanderer, is that, despite currently being in his healing era, he's still concerningly nonchalant about a lot of his backstory. Let's take Dottore for an example. The Wanderer says, in hs voicelines, something along the lines of being disappointed that he has destroyed all his segments, because he would have liked to destroy them by himself, and in Inversion of Genesis, he says he will seek revenge on Dottore eventually. Should be a sign of him confronting his trauma, and to an extent, it is, but the way it's portrayed in game makes it seem like his desire to get revenge on Dottore is primarily motivated by what happened to Niwa. Which is valid, it was Dottore who did that, but it's a little concerning that we don't really hear Scaramouche/Wanderer complain about the whole human experiment thing, no? Sure, he agreed to it and states that he participated voluntarily, but it's a little disconcerting that Nahida describes it as genuine torture, and for Scaramouche, it's kind of just a secondary thing. Of course, if we go with the three betrayals, obviously Niwa's death messed him up a lot as well, but after Inversion of Genesis it kind of seems like getting revenge on Dottore is part of his whole self-atonement thing, since Dottore killing Niwa led to Scara eventually killing all those blacksmiths. I do wonder if they'll elaborate on any of this when we get their confrontation ingame- because I do think there will be one. I'd really like to know whether Wanderer's reasoning for revenge is really anchored primarily in Dottore's murder of Niwa, like it seems to me rn, or if we'll get some lines about the experiments as well. I think it could honestly be part of the healing process, having him want revenge for the sake of others at first, and later accepting that he can want it for himself as well. I think maybe he's still a lil hung up about the fact that his other attempts at getting revenge turned out to be him hurting innocent people, since Niwa never did betray him, so he might need to take some time to accept that he can still want revenge for himself as well
#anyways that concludes my ramble for today#scaramouche is so well written and I really love him. I hope we get more insight in his trauma as mean as that sounds#I think its so interesting to note the more subtle ways that his backstory messed him up#like yes there's the obvious with Ei; the gnosis and the betrayals#but having his whole life turn out to be a lie? the fact that he thought he was getting revenge but the betrayal never happened?#thats gonna mess someone up too#I do also wonder how much of it is intentional on Dottore's part#hell even his failed ascension might have been planned- theres some theories on the “divine gaze” translation from the lazzo trailer#appparently it might refer to a vision in which case uh. Scara honey youre in danger#like imagine going through all that trauma; failing at the one thing you always wanted#and then you finally start healing#only to figure out it was all planned#Really excited for this guys future. unless he dies. then I'll quit life#anywaysa#genshin impact#scaramouche#fatui#fatui harbingers#I do have high hopes that he wont die#mainly because showing a character that has 2 canonical suicide attempts die on screen to progress the story might not be the uh#most intelligent thing in terms of storytelling
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I wish you would write a fic about irreconcilable artistic differences on a movie set between Joe and Nicky.
not really irreconciliable as in not solvable at all but you know i had fun with this
Joe squeezes his eyes shut, covering his face with both hands, and leans forward. His shoulders tremble uncontrollably. He takes a short, sharp breath, and another, and another, but he can’t quite seem to get enough into his lungs. There’s a lump in his throat and a weight in his stomach. He leans forward with a low, wounded sound and–
“Cut,” Nicky says softly. Then, because it takes Joe a second to hear him: “Joe, stop.”
Slowly, Joe raises his head. Wipes at his eyes and takes a few deep breaths to steady himself. Nicky’s already up, frowning ever so slightly as he looks at the camera.
“What is it this time?” Joe manages. His voice is hoarse; he has to clear his throat once or twice. Nicky doesn’t look up. The clock on the nightstand reads 01.34, but Nicky’s changed it a few times over the course of the shoot. He has no clue what time it really is, only that it’s dark outside.
It’s just the two of them in the room. Nicky had wanted to keep this one small, just him and Joe and the camera. The apartment they’re in is nice, if a little empty, though Joe supposes that’s the point. They’re in the bedroom, Joe sitting cross-legged on the bed, shirtless, sheets bunched up over his lap, a phone lying on the nightstand behind him. One entire wall of the room is taken up by a floor-to-ceiling window which lets the moonlight in, though there’s a few low lights set up behind Nicky to send bars of silver light across the bed, because the natural light hadn’t quite been strong enough for the effect Nicky wanted. It’s otherworldly; it’s beautiful.
Nicky still isn’t looking at him, so Joe says again, “What?” It comes out a little harsher than he means it to, but it gets Nicky’s attention.
Nicky runs one hand through his hair. Joe can’t see him well, not with the light behind him and the shadows in the room. “I don’t know,” Nicky says. “It’s missing something.”
Joe has worked with Nicky enough times before. It’s not that he doesn’t like working with him - they’re friends - but he can’t fucking read him, and so after the sixth take of the same scene he can’t help but take it a little personally.
Joe reaches for the bottle of water hidden just under the bed and takes a long drink, mostly to keep himself from snapping. What time is it? “I can try again, but I can’t do this indefinitely, Nicky.”
“I know, I know,” Nicky says, fidgeting again with the camera, “it’s not you, it’s just–”
“What else could it be?” Joe interrupts. He’s not stupid. This scene doesn’t work if he can’t get it right, which means the entire film doesn’t work if he can’t get it right. More than anything else, this one depends on him. No music, no camera movement, no dialogue, nothing but him and the camera. And he wants to do it right, he loves this project almost as much as Nicky does, but there’s a hollow feeling in his chest and he’s spent the last however-many-hours having a near-complete breakdown over and over again and it’s still not right. And Joe doesn’t know what it is he’s doing wrong.
“I don’t know,” Nicky says quietly. Now he is looking at Joe, and Joe can’t tell if he’s disappointed, or angry, or – or what. He’s perfectly expressionless, as always.
Joe loves this job. And he wants to get this right. But it doesn’t mean it’s not one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do, and he’s tired.
“I don’t have much more left in me, Nicky,” he says, and this time he does snap. He wipes at his eyes again, can’t look at Nicky. He’s supposed to be making himself vulnerable, above all in this scene, but suddenly he can’t stand the way Nicky’s looking at him. “Pass me my hoodie.”
“Joe–”
“I can’t. I can’t keep doing this.” He kicks the sheets off and gets tangled trying to do it, grabs his hoodie when Nicky offers it, pulls it over his head in one fluid motion and gets out of there as soon as he can. Thankfully, there’s only Andy and Nile in the other room, Andy lying back on the couch with her feet up and Nile perched on the arm of it. They both look up at Joe as he enters, both look like they’re about to ask, and Joe can’t stand it, can’t be in here a second longer, can’t–
“We are done for the day, I think,” Nicky says behind him, startling Joe. He hadn’t realised Nicky was there.
Andy raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t argue. It’s already the second day of trying to shoot this scene: they’re running the risk of falling behind schedule.
“We’ll find something else to do tomorrow,” Nicky says. “I’ll look over everything tonight. We will try this again on Monday.”
Andy and Nile look at each other. Nile shrugs.
“Get some rest, Joe,” Nicky says.
Joe shoves his hands in his pockets and doesn’t say a word.
–--------------------------------
He doesn’t get called in the next day at all, and he doesn’t interrogate it too closely. Takes the day off, pretty much, because they’ve only really got one scene left to film, and there’s not much more he can do for that. Nicky had wanted to leave it to the last, and Joe had agreed, at the time.
At about nine pm, someone knocks on his hotel room door, which is unusual on a day where they don’t have a night shoot to do. When he opens it, Nicky is on the other side. Joe lets him in without a word.
“I wanted to apologise,” Nicky says, standing in the middle of the room and looking as uncomfortable as Joe’s ever seen him. “For last night. I was pushing you too hard, and I should not have done.”
Joe closes the door behind him. Nicky fidgets with the sleeve of his hoodie.
“Sit down,” Joe says.
Nicky does, settling himself on the edge of Joe’s bed, not quite looking him in the eye. Joe joins him, after a moment.
“At the risk of sounding cliche,” Nicky says, “it’s not you, it’s me.”
Joe laughs, mostly because the phrase sounds so strange coming from Nicky and also because out of everything he’d thought Nicky might say, he hadn’t expected that.
Nicky smiles slightly, too. Then he gets up and heads for the minibar. “Mind if I have a drink?”
Joe shakes his head. Nicky gets out a little bottle of wine, glances at the label, and takes a swig straight from the bottle without bothering to get a glass.
“I can’t seem to get it right,” Nicky says. “You know I wrote almost fifteen different versions of that scene?”
The scene in the script itself is barely a page long. “No,” Joe says.
Nicky nods. Rubs a hand over his face. “I wanted it to feel real. I thought if I could get it right, it would… help, somehow. I don’t know.”
It’s the exact same reason Joe said yes before he even read the script, when the whole thing was just an idea in Nicky’s head, when they were talking about it over drinks at Andy’s and Joe was in love with the idea almost immediately. He knew exactly why Nicky was writing it; he knows, now, exactly why it needs to be right. But at the same time – “I don’t know if that’s possible, Nicky.”
Nicky sighs. “I know.” He crosses back over to sit beside Joe again, takes another drink from the bottle. “But there is something missing, and I cannot seem to find it. And so it does not feel real. And I know this is not easy for you.”
“It’s not,” Joe says plainly.
“But you know,” Nicky continues, “I could not have trusted anyone with this but you. If you had not said yes, I would not have done this.”
That, Joe didn’t know: he knows he’d been Nicky’s first choice, but he’d assumed that’s because they know each other well enough already. But it makes sense: the reason Nicky wrote the script is the same thing they’d bonded over.
Even still, it’s a lot. “I don’t know if I can do it the way you want,” Joe says.
Nicky looks up at him from where he’s been running his fingers over the label on the bottle absentmindedly. “If you want to stop, I can–”
“No,” Joe says quickly. “But I don’t think it’s ever going to be exactly the way you felt.”
Nicky looks away. “It is a lot to ask,” he says. “I know this.”
Joe doesn’t think; just reaches over and takes Nicky’s hand. “I know,” he says. “Trust me.”
Nicky takes a deep breath. Then he nods. "Okay."
#neon answers#materassassino#neon writes#the old guard#kaysanova#DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY (me): not at ALL a realistic portrayal of anything actually but this is about the vibes#this was originally gonna be a 2 person scene where both of them were actors#but a i dont know shit abt acting ive never done it. i HAVE however been a director all of one time which didnt really relate to this but#its more than 0 experience. anyway i was thinking about the level of trust in that relationship#i.e. joe trusting nicky to let himself be entirely vulnerable on camera like that and trusting that nicky knows what hes looking for#and in this case nicky trusting joe to take care of a story that is heavily based on his own experience#this isnt long because i drafted it at 1am then wrote the rest while ignoring my essay but . nicky cant quite let it go and joe cant manage#to let himself break down completely on camera like that. presumably after this they get it in one take#joe wins several awards and the film does super well. or it doesnt thats not the point#its abt making something to deal with personal experience#the film in question being about rebuilding yourself after moving to a different country with no ties left to where you came from#+ the scene here being a post-phone call/rejection of phone call meltdown in which the loneliness gets to be a bit much#in my head nicky never went through this Specifically but it's more of an externalisation/dramatisation of something that did happen.#anyway you know early tog metas abt joe being the more overtly emotional one and nicky acting as a balancing force bc joe feels stuff for#both of them. or maybe i made that up. anyway thats what this is#ten points if you can work out my Cinematic Influences#they are patently obvious i think
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why does every article reporting on idf war crimes go "hamas, who started the war on october 7th with their brutal terrorist attack slaughtering innocent israeli civilians, has condemned the idf's use of-"? like, nearly verbatim every single time. we know about october 7th. we know by now. half the time, hamas isnt even relevant but they gotta find some way to sow doubt and numb any potential compassion responses. will you get fired if you show sympathy for murdered palestinian civilians without first adding a disclaimer saying its all their fault for being born in gaza? if you call "palestinians under 18" children? if you use the words "murdered" or "brutal" or "massacre" for acts that didnt occur on october 7th? if you call a spade a spade? why are israeli reports front page news without proper fact-checking but palestinian reporting is always "allegedly" even when theres video evidence? why does the idf not get the hamas treatment of reminding everyone that theyre biased before treating their words as law, like they havent been caught bold-faced lying again and again?
#soooooo fucking infuriating#'palestinians are allegedly starving but thats what hamas (who are savage terrorists in case you forgot) said as well so who knows?'#'idf soldiers are allegedly bragging about and showing pictures and videos of their war crimes on social media but#its not in english so we may never know what theyre saying. palestinian ''civilians'' are translating so whatever they say must be wrong'#'in other news. heres what ''doctors'' are referring to as a ''calendar'' but is written in arabic (terrorist language) so the idf must be#telling the truth when they say its proof they are all evil and must in some nebulous way suddenly stop living'#to be fair. the 'secret hamas names list disguised as calendar but REALLY about oct 7' shit was the target of skepticism quite early on#but it really does show how often the idf lies to justify obvious war crimes#maybe they should provide verified evidence or even just be given a bias disclaimer before printing their claims as fact???#every single fucking death toll is phrased as 'hamas-run ministry of health reports death toll of x' like?#yeah? thats their fucking government? what else do you expect?#you do understand that the healthcare portion of their government is probably more reputable#than what the phrasing of those headlines are obviously trying to imply?#i understand that bias is still possible there but its not armed combatants making shit up#its doctors who receive govt paychecks doing their best to identify the disfigured bodies not buried under rubble#youre not slick with that wording
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Six-Song Soundtrack Tag Game
Thank you to the wonderful @shivunin for creating this tag game because this is exactly the type of tag game I love.
Rules If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following: 1. An event that defines your character's past 2. How your character sees themselves 3. How others view them 4. Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic) 5. A major fight scene 6. End credits song
I could do this one for every one of my Dragon Age characters, but I've been thinking a lot about Elodie lately, so here goes nothing.
1. Le Divertissement Royal de Versailles: Rondeau du Marriage Forcé (Jean-Baptiste Lully)
2. The King of All Birds (Aoife O'Donovan)
Look out, look out, Here I come now, fists out. I'm a fighter bird, I'm a Harrier hawk, a wild flock: I keep time by the city clock When the moon is steady, I'll find you. I'm not lucky and I'm not scared, There could be goldmine anywhere.
3. Peregrine (Mako)
Fly, peregrine, I hope your broken wings can carry you home Fly, peregrine, I hope you will remember me, you said you will
4. Hide & Seek (Etta Marcus)
Every time you lay your blonde hair, I'll be right next to you, whether you want me- I'll walk on broken glass to get there, I'm gonna find you in a game of hide and seek.
5. The Count (Audiomachine)
6. Once I'm Gone (Finnegan Tui)
Once I'm gone, dream of me: The wind in my hair and sun at my feet. I'll run with rain and fall with wild things, Sing to it all as it sings to me- But that'll be then.
Tagging: @isayashai @creaking-skull @zevrn @cairaleighexe @chanafehs but, as always, no pressure ❤️
#tag game#elodie aubert amell#the first song is a reference to their time at court#the king of all birds is a song that elodie really shares with aislin so parts of the song are very aislin and parts are very elodie#a song for how the others think of them was hard but i think peregrine fits the best bc first of all its like hawk but not quite#and thats elodie to many of the da2 crew#but also bc elodie does seem lost and out of their depth to the gang and they take a little time to warm up to everyone#hide and seek is obvious. varric is blonde.#and uhhhhhhhh yeah once im gone would play when the credits roll after they stay in the fade.#also the count sounds like the duel with the arishok to me. or at least how i imagine it going down. which is different than the game.#i have too many song thoughts there should be more oc song ask games too.........maybe i'll get on that
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didnt think I'd be drawing anythjng today but i saw this one tweet by @/crying_anabell about a ship dynamic and it inmediately reminded me of these two so i blinked and this happened .
ive been posting a lot lately it makes me a bit dizzy but rhe brainrot tells me to go cook something up and i must obey making sure we all well fed/lh
#re:kinder#yuuichi mizuoka#shunsuke takano#ANYWAY THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A MUCH QUICKER DOODLE#but i accidentally used the crayon brush when i was doing the outlines#and it spoke to me#“michael you must try this one thing you saw on twitter.... do it.....”#so now it looks like this one comic i did when i was what. 14#very nostalgic though. really like it#will probably milk this style of coloring whenever im bored#also side note#ive drawn yuuichi so much since december that he has changed quite a bit from how i drew him at first#its probably not too obvious seeing my first post of him (i was a bit rusty on art when i did that anyway)#BUT IVE GOTTEN THIS VERY PARTICULAR WAY OF DRAWING HIM NOW HE'S A JOY TO DRAW#effects of having to draw hom 57 times for expression sheets i suppose#no regrets though
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it seems not enough enstarries have watched/read enough jojos
#to truly get that feeling of Author Forgor#i do truly understand getting frustrated at lack of continuity esp when it concerns your faves#but sometimes you just gotta move on#at least this time it's funny‚ still makes sense with the themes of the story and its fairly in line with how akira thinks babies are#youd be surprised by how many people that write teenagers and children don't actually know anything abt teenagers and children#and really it's quite obvious in akira 's case that he doesn't#mar's midnight rambles
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Ah, has Padme noticed that Obi-Wan is assigned to Senate duty and that's why she's making assumptions about why Anakin is worried?
this chapter and the last chapter take place within like...an hour or so of each other -- so no one knows yet about obi-wan's new assignment cause he's been given it only a little bit ago!
i think padmé really is trying in this chapter, trying to speak anakin's language and understand him - and i think she really does, as much as she can. she's relating her experiences of being worried about anakin to anakin's experiences being worried about obi-wan (which baby, honey. are you really not going to notice that you're talking to anakin as if he's obi-wan's wife).
in my opinion, she's not really making assumptions about why anakin is worried here. anakin flat out tells her that he was worrried that obi-wan was injured, that that's why he stayed.
she's really just trying to get him to realize that he shouldn't go running off to be by obi-wan's side every time he gets an intrusive thought that obi-wan could be hurt when logically there's a very slim chance that he has been been and a very big chance that he could get help IF he ever was. because the war is over. obi-wan has amazing access to the best healthcare on coruscant. he would be FINE if he felt a sudden twinge in his chest or whatever.
it's just that anakin doesn't want to hear that. anakin doesn't want to live in a world where he can't drop everything to get to obi-wan's side. anakin doesn't want space between him and his master. he doesn't get why he should. if that's because of the war, like he sorta implies in the chapter, or if it's always been like that for him--for them, i don't think matters as much right now as the fact that anakin and anakin's wife are on solidly opposite ends of this debate
and it's really only going to get more rocky from here as we move away from the end of the war and both of them have different expectations of what comes next
#asks#couples counseling au#obikin#it's not been mentioned yet because obi-wan and padme haven't started working in the senate together yet#but i think one of the aspects of the fic im looking forward to the most#is moments where obi-wan and padme talk and obi-wan gets an outsiders pov into anakin and padmes relationship#but it also sort of feels still like padme is the outsider#aka she tells him in a cold and cutting argument they have#that anakin woke up from nightmares screaming obi-wan's name for three weeks post the end of the war#like im just excited to get obi-wan's pov of anidala where its very obvious to the readers that anakin is not as obsessed with his wife#as he is with his master#and yet obi-wan doesn't quite notice#and padme won't quite admit it#and anakin isn't actually involved in teh conversation at all#but so anyway i think when she's speaking in this chapter she's speaking from her own experiences watching and trying to comfort anakin#post end of war#and her own experiences missing anakin during the war#it's just anakin doesn't have room in his dialogue/his head to really give that the weight it deserves#because he's obi-wan all the time
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#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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Hi, Hello, I just want to let you know your art remains a constant inspiration for me. Unrelated, what digimon partner would you give Paul from petscop?
hello and thank you so much ;-; im really touched to hear that. i hope i can keep making works that have a place in your heart and i am very grateful that they do.. best of lcuk with your own artistic endeavors and im very appreciative of your support and the time you took to share these kind words :3
as for your question.. i actulaly have had discussions about paul and belle playing the original digimon world games on the psx, back when i was playing it...those old 90s games feel really brutal to a mid 2000s gamer like myself.... .. i think he would get really frustrated because he wouldnt understand the evolution requirements and end up raising numemon over and over again on accident..and in the meantime, belle, who is older and more adept at problem solving , would have already developed the most efficient digimon training pipeline and worked her way up to perfect stage ........................ but little brother is just , permanently stuck with numemon as a partner.....he gets really excited every time its time for the rookie level to evolve...and thenn its just numemon again..Unfortunate child
as for if he had a digimon partner that wans't just what digimon he'd have if he played the games, i think definitely toyagumon :3 it just feels right.
hope you're well anoynmous thank you again ~
#struggling a bit to draw good now. Hopefully i illustrated my thought well#Not to be a hater or anything. I am actually quite a numemon enthusiast. Just not in digimon world 1#Perhaps its obvious from this bit but i dont consider carepaul a partiuclarly adept gamer.#I dont really think he does anything i think he's a neet with no hobbies. So i think evenm if he tried again as an adult he would get numem#Anyway srry for belated reply. 4 0 hour work week and we just got a puppy. TODAY!
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