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sourwormsaresour · 3 years ago

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what are your thoughts on La Squadra's sexualities?

First off, Happy Pride Month! Please have a safe one. Before I start, I just want to let you guys know that I’m a straight cisgender woman so I’m not 100% knowledgeable on sexualities so these are based on my current knowledge of the community. I’m open to all head-canons about La Squadra’s sexualities besides my own :)

Sorbet and Gelato are gay, both using he/him pronouns, and are the most out compared to everyone in the team. Even though La Squadra knew about their relationships, the two themselves aren’t open about it outside of the team and their families. This is especially because relationships can be used against you in the crime world but also because their families rely on them to have a “good reputation” to live comfortably. I head-canon that they are both breadwinners of their families: Gelato has siblings that go to very conservative, academic institutions and rely on scholarships that look into family history for recommendations, and Sorbet’s mother requires medical attention from reputable doctors that also have homophobic biases that can be used against her. They’ve secretly used some of their money to help a street kid or two that they learned was disowned after being outed or assassinated a few people for hurting kids for being part of the LGBTQ+ community or even preying on them. The two men probably both went through phases where they thought they only liked women, tried to be in heterosexual relationships, and their enemies-to-lovers type of relationship had probably stemmed from their inability to properly process their attraction to each other at the time.

Formaggio is bisexual and prefers using he/him pronouns; he has a stronger attraction to women but is unaware that he’s attracted to men as well. A big part of why he’s so unaware or in denial of it came from his conservative upbringing in a working-class family and lack of representation growing up. Formaggio knew that men can be attracted to other men, but other aspects of the LGBTQ+ community is either unknown to him or seen in a negative perception; he’s learning more about the community and how to be a better ally, especially after meeting Sorbet and Gelato, but he’s still struggling to reverse the anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments he grew up believing. As a result of his past, Formaggio assumed that one can only be attracted to one gender and never crossed his mind that people can be attracted to more than one. He often tries to hide his attraction to men via “straight guy who’s unaware he’s gay occasionally spits homophobic jokes and says ‘no homo’ every time he says "I love you" to his friends but he means full homo” approach.

Illuso is pansexual and gender fluid, preferring he/him/they/them pronouns most of the time but also likes using neo-pronouns and occasionally prefers to use she/her pronouns. As a former intern for a fashion designer before he joined La Squadra, he’s relatively more exposed to meeting different people in the LGBTQ+ community through fashion; those who were higher in status and power would be more out about it than those in lower ranking and the community was a huge source for avant-garde, counter-culture influences. Despite getting more inspiration for his designs from his interactions and developing his identity in the LGBTQ+ space, that also led to him witnessing discrimination, abuse, and powerplay caused by the higher-ups; some became victims simply because of rumors that they may be part of the LGBTQ+ community or being forcibly outed, some are forced into relationships in exchange for opportunities and privileges, etc. He remains closeted and part of his arrogance stems from him hiding his sexuality due to the trauma of enduring the abuse and witnessing it as well. La Squadra doesn’t know his sexuality or know that he’s genderfluid, but they’re fine with adapting to his pronouns whenever they change.

Pesci is unaware that they’re gay and are non-binary that prefers they/them pronouns. Although they try to stick to he/him pronouns to avoid being out, they like using they/them more and get secretly happy when someone refers to them as such. I head-canon that they’re actually younger than Giorno when they encountered Team Bucciarati, which would explain why he never killed anyone up until this point (they’re a literal kid that’s slowly getting involved in the team when Sorbet and Gelato were killed, albeit they’re on the buffer side despite their age), and with their sheltered childhood and Prosciutto’s strict mentorship, they never got to sit down and think about their sexual and gender identity. They often try to pretend they’re a macho straight man alongside Formaggio but they end up feeling bad about it after trying to say a bad comment or joke to fit in. Pesci themselves feel like they’re alone in terms of the emotions of not being able to put your sexuality into words. It doesn’t help that they’re rather isolated compared to everyone except Risotto; they only knew La Squadra as their family ever since they joined the team and they never talk to anyone outside of the group.

Prosciutto is bisexual and genderfluid, preferring to identify with he/him pronouns, but he’s also the most closeted and probably has the most internalized homophobia as well. Growing up in the entertainment industry, especially in acting, means adhering to heteronormative standards; controversies of any kind would make or break a career and he constantly heard homophobic statements “disguised” as critiques around him from all levels of the entertainment industry. The fact that he was overworked up until his “career retirement” also didn’t give him the time to sit down and realize both his sexuality and how fucked up the film industry is in terms of its treatment towards the LGBTQ+ community. With his upbringing of being presentable and hiding his sexuality, he tries to present himself in the most Italian metrosexual straight machismo man he could and uses his “gentleman charms” towards women to avoid people from questioning further about his sexuality. But at the end of the day, he knows he’s lying to himself about his sexuality. And unfortunately, his anger at being unable to express that is often misdirected.

Melone is demi-sexual, though he presents himself as asexual and panromantic, and prefers using any pronouns. Like his teammates, he prefers using he/him for his safety. As a former scientist, he learned and got to know about the LGBTQ+ community through a more scientific perspective, but also knew there are hidden homophobic biases in the science community as well. Still, he does his best to be an ally for his peers before realizing he is demisexual and panromantic. His sexuality allows him to view the incubation and child-rearing aspect of his Stand without emotions or feelings involved and further explains how he views fornication and training his Juniors in a very scientific and analytical way without guilt taking over. Despite presenting himself as ace/straight (mostly for safety and because it’s easier to explain that he has no attraction to people than being a demisexual), I also see someone who yearns to have a strong emotional connection to someone and would give his all to the person he loves most. His overtly sexual nature is more of an act (I've heard that some aces tend to act overtly sexual, either to avoid being outed or as a result of growing up thinking that need to feel an attraction is necessary) and Melone secretly desires being attracted to someone he learns to trust, admire, and love over time. I have a backstory that plays into that but I might disclose it another time. ;)

Ghiaccio is on the same boat with Prosciutto in terms of having internalized homophobia due to his childhood career as a child athlete. At the time he was training to be an Olympic hopeful as a solo figure skater, Ghiaccio was born female and had to remain in the closet due to the conservative nature of the ice skating world and his step-father being notorious for his opinions favoring homophobia and sexism. Once he joined La Squadra, Ghiaccio began experimenting with himself and ultimately came out as transgender, presenting himself with he/him pronouns, and had been using testosterone ever since. Most members that joined after him only knew Ghiaccio as male while the other members are either indifferent about his gender or are involved in helping Ghiaccio transition to be male. Transitioning also helped him realized he was aromantic and gay, which provided him closure from the years of struggle he had trying to fit into the heteronormative expectations he thought he had to conform to when he was female. The effect of testosterone also explains his brash and short-tempered nature, although that stems more from him finally being able to express himself after years of repressing his emotions as a child.

Risotto is also aromantic and asexual, preferring he/him/they/them pronouns, although he doesn’t know that he is aro/ace, to begin with. Growing up, he never really cared when he heard his older relatives or adults making comments about how “he’d make a good husband” or “have the girls chase him”, because all he cared about was his family and friends. He just assumes that once he becomes a “big boy”, then he’ll have thoughts of wanting to get married like the fairytales say. Just let his future spouse have children with him in any way and he'll play the role of husband regardless. Since his cousin’s death, he gave up the idea of having any sexual or romantic interest in anyone. Why to go out of your way to find any relationship when they’ll be dead soon enough- that was Risotto’s logic. He’s not aware that he can define himself as aro/ace, he just assumes that the trauma he went through with his cousin’s death stops him from feeling any attraction and doesn’t make an effort to figure out why.

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psycholojosh · 4 years ago

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Road to RPsy: A master's student's guide for Filipino psychology graduates in making a career headway in the Philippines - Part 1

Let's paint this picture for a moment...

You get into your psychology program (or any other program) in a Filipino college or university. You study hard. And then, you achieve your well-deserved bachelor's degree. While you shake hands and celebrate for about a month (just as you should), you sooner realize and ask, "Now what?" Then, you ponder on how to get your career in clinical psychology started. Possibly, you got anxious, confused, or maybe even determined.

If this is (or was) you, don't worry! You're perfectly okay. Trust me, I've been there before... and we shouldn't feel ashamed for this.

Which is why I'd like to take this time to write about my personal and professional experiences as a college graduate of psychology in the Philippines, and how I managed to craft my own headway into getting clinical training and graduate studies for clinical psychology. I sincerely hope that this little article would help a fellow psychology graduate craft their own headway into clinical psychology (or any other field of the sort). I'd also like to share some tips from my past and present mentors, colleagues, coworkers, and professors that I find useful to take note of.

I separated this into a series of articles to keep reading concise and organized. For this part, I start off with discussing...

What psychology careers in the Philippines looks like

How goals can be set in order to get an RPsy; and

Selecting the postgraduate school or program for you

Keep reading to find out more!

Key Points (TL;DR)

There are many myths and misconceptions that narrow one's view about psychology and its careers; but there are actually a lot of opportunities.

Keep yourself open to opportunities, be it for training or career, that will help propel you to snatching an RPsy license.

Clinical experience is key. But, do not discount non-clinical experiences as well.

Practice 'SMART' (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound) goal setting for your career.

Choosing a school is dependent on your preferred training, scholastic interests, career goals, personal motivations, and (financial) resources.

Before I begin...

I'd like to first disclose what my biases and limits are, and what potentially could be a matter that you, dear reader, should consider before taking any advice from me. So, here's a little bit about myself...

Firstly, I am a young adult and pretty much novice to the field of psychology. I have gone through two years (and counting) of clinical experience as a licensed psychometrician. I do not declare myself an expert yet, nor do I pride myself as the most reliable person in the field of psychology. This article is written purely in my personal perspective and experiences. That said, I will do my best to offer you up-to-date information and objectivity that may support or criticize my views.

Secondly, I come from a very middle-class family. My parents made just about enough for us to pay the bills, to feed, clothe, and shelter us, and to give us a decent education. I firmly think this disclosure is very important since not everyone has the same privileges in terms of education, opportunity, and resources. There are some career decisions that I have made or experienced because I had the capacity to make them so despite certain critical tradeoffs (like, getting less pay). As of writing, I would say that our status is still the same, even if I make my own profit with my college degree. I will do my best to be considerate about the differing backgrounds among people, especially when it comes to privilege offered by social class.

Lastly, I'd like to emphasize that my word is not gospel and should not be taken easily by those who seek importance or utility to what I will share. The tone I will use will be very personal - as this is my personal blog. Plus, I will be largely biased towards clinical psychology, as it is the field I am in. You may find that some pieces of advice will resonate more with you than others. Conversely, you might find that some pieces of advice may be unhelpful for you. Hence, I welcome any criticism to my personal views and open myself to a healthy discussion. (Feel free to reach me through my Ask page here on my blog.) I highly encourage you, dear reader, to look for more opinions from more seasoned professionals in the field.

Now, on to the article...

The current scene of psychology careers in the Philippines

As I was graduating, it was important for me to look for information about careers in psychology in the country. After all, as you will see later, getting an idea of psychology's zeitgiest (a term used by historians to refer to the salient "mood" or "spirit" of ideas or beliefs of, say, an academic field) this country will inform you in your career goal setting and considering options that will lead you to where you want to be.

Psychology in the Philippines has a lot of stereotypes, myths, and misconceptions brought about by pop psychology spread across the masses. Here are some of the popular ones (and my personal favorites) which you may have already heard from people around you:

"Sa HR mapupunta ang isang Psych grad." ("Psych grads end up in HR [work].")

"Psych ka? Magme-med/Maglo-law ka ba?" ("You study Psych? Are you pursuing med/law?")

"Wala naman masyadong pera/future sa Psych." ("There's no money/future in Psych.")

"Psych? So yung mga baliw yung trabaho mo?" ("Psych? So you work on crazy people?")

And there's plenty more where that came from. Funnily enough, my college friends and I used to do a game where we take a shot of liquor for each myth said to us. (Drink responsibly, kids!) But, as psychology graduates, we know that these aren't completely true.

Now, let's take a look at how we can argue in psychology's defense and dignity and accept what the common person has gotten correctly.

Psychology practice in the Philippines

It's important to note that the term 'psychologist' or 'psychology practitioner' has different meanings in various contexts. Often, we think about psychologists as those who does therapy and plays around with psychological instruments. While this is somewhat true, a more academic language would refer to a 'psychologist' or 'practitioner' as someone who earned their degree in psychology - regardless of specialty - and has built their career in praxis of psychology. As I go along in this section, I'll refer to the 'psychologist' as the latter definition.

Clinical and counselling. In a 2004 article by Cristina Montiel and Lota Teh published in the International Handbook of Psychology, the authors enumerated on and expounded the most popular fields and specializations that psychology practitioners work in. Clinical or counselling practitioners lead in this list, often delving into psychotherapy, interventions, and assessment in various settings -- of which I have had experience on. I think this appears to be only partially true today, which I'll explain in a bit. You would find most practitioners doing their clinical practice in private clinics, hospitals, and schools. It's important to note, however, that most practitioners of this subfield have postgraduate degrees, and - since the year 2014, when Republic Act No. 10029 was enacted - a board license from Philippine Professional Regulation Commission (PRC). These licensed professionals have the names: 'RPsy' for psychologists.

However, bachelor's degree holders were also permitted to practice with their own little license: an 'RPm' or 'registered psychometrician' - which I have. These licensed professionals, get to practice assessment and several other supportive clinical functions - but not psychotherapy. The catch? You legally and ethically need to be supervised by a licensed psychologist. I'd like to get into the nitty-gritty differences and nuances of these two licenses, but I'll save that for another article. In the meantime, you must understand that these two have disparities in terms of their education attainment, clinical skills, and professional autonomy.

During my oath-taking ceremony as a psychometrician in 2018, Dr. Regina Hechanova-Alampay, a known Filipina in the fields of industrial-organizational and community psychology (and the mom of one of my dear friends), stated in her keynote address that the approximate ratio of each RPsy to each Filipino citizen is 1 to 100,000. A 2018 study has pointed this approximation to be accurate. Similarly, my former clinical supervisor approximated that the ratio of RPsy supervisors to RPm supervisees is 1 to 2,000. These numbers are quite a lot! Needless to say, there is a shortage of supply of clinical practitioners for the demand and a large influx of RPm's that have less clinical autonomy. And with an ever-growing relevance and awareness to the field of mental health in the country, these numbers are concerning. But -- hold on. If there are a lot of RPm's being produced yearly, where do they go?

Industrial-organizational and human resources. Montiel and Teh accounted that the second most abundant field in the country is in industrial-organizational (I/O) psychology or human resources (HR). This is where I think most psychology graduates usually end up in after college these days. Daresay, this is the fastest way to earn money as a fresh college graduate. But does that mean that the stereotype is necessarily true? It really depends on the way an employer values the employee and how much one is capable of doing a job. Sometimes, you get paid more, just right, or less.

I/O psychologists or HR practitioners often deal in corporate or organizational settings, often concerned with their person-related matters. They have skills like recruiting talent or labor, assessing worker needs, evaluating individual performances, or developing workers of a company - just to name a few. Do they need a license like an RPsy or RPm? Not necessarily.

You would often find job postings for HR positions that would often "prefer" a psychology graduate with a license, but sometimes "require" it. Therein lies some grey areas about how the professional licenses' stipulations are interpreted. But, let's not get into that just yet. But in my opinion, if people saw the utility of getting a license (which has its own financial costs of acquiring) as a way to improve compensation or marketability in the workforce, then they should get it.

Not all industrial-organizational psychologists, however, delve into the office hours and paper works. Some others go into research - particularly on topics like employee behaviors, group dynamics, and so on. It's important to think that these types of practitioners are just as versatile as other subfields in psychology.

Academia and other niches of psychology. As per Montiel and Teh, another large chunk of practitioners often end up in the academe. They become educators in various levels, researchers, or expert consultants depending on their interest, skill, and reputation. For example, developmental psychologists (or those who specialize in child psychology) get hired in preschools or alternative modes of learning. It was also mentioned briefly that social psychologists often find themselves in the social development sector, like the National Economic Development Agency (NEDA) or the Department for Social Welfare and Development (DSWD). Other common settings for psychology graduates to work in includes government facilities and the military, where their knowledge about human behavior are often found useful.

Research skills are also found useful in areas like market research and analytics. Because psychology graduates have knowledge about fundamentals of statistics and psychological measurement, a lot of these businesses employ their help in order to understand their target market's consumer behaviors and make informed decisions to increase profit. Other information about making a career in business can come be read in a lot of psychoeducational websites, like in Verywell Mind.

Overall, there is a plethora of careers a psychology graduate can delve into, especially for a fresh graduate like yourself. Over time, you would find that certain subfields would resonate more with you than others. You may often wonder which one - or a combination of more - would lead you to your career or personal ambitions. Now that you know how vast a career in psychology can be, it's a matter of choice and planning ahead, which leads me to the next section.

Goal-setting: Which road to take and what to expect

Eyeing the precious RPsy license won't be an easy task. Then again, would the hardships matter if it's worth it anyway? It's important for you, dear reader, to think about how you want to get to that goal.

Should one want to take a straightforward path, she or he would have taken their master's or doctorate studies in clinical or counselling psychology for the following three to five years (with coursework, practicum, and perhaps thesis or dissertation), then take the board exam from the PRC. I have a couple of friends who have done so, and it works for them.

However, for the likes of many of us - myself included - we may not have the same luxury of time or resources to afford us this direct route. Because of many personal needs (ahem-- financial), we may need to find a way to secure these as we go along our road to the RPsy. And how could I forget the costs of postgraduate studies alone? Which is why we'll need to earn or find income.

The best job or experience that can afford you a good head start in clinical psychology is the one closest to it. As my former supervisor, Paula, once said, "Clinical experience is key." For example, you can find psychometricians assisting with psychological assessments in various settings. Others delved into social or community work -- sometimes as a volunteer. The likelihood for one to get accepted in clinical or counselling training programs, like a postgraduate degree or certification training, is increased when one has had a hand on a similar line of work. But this is not to say that any other job is unimportant -- no. There's growing research on the various applications of mental health practice on non-clinical settings, like schools, offices, and even micro-communities. The possibilities are actually numerous. That said, I cannot guarantee how abundant these opportunities are.

There are a few things to consider when looking for a job or a source of income:

In terms of career, what are your yes's, maybe's, and no's? Make individual lists of the occupations you can say these three answers to.

How soon are you planning to achieve an RPsy license? As soon as the next four years? Or, maybe you want to take it slow and say ten?

What job and/or study opportunities are available to you at the moment? How comfortable will the setup be for you?

How much resources and time are available to you for work, study, and personal matters? Which of these do you prioritize more?

How much are you willing or do you need to be compensated to afford such a lifestyle?

As you formulate answers to these questions (especially, the last two), keep in mind that a more effective goal setting follows a 'SMART' process. That is: it is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound. (More info about this process right here.) Patterning our goals to these dimensions helps us look at ourselves objectively and find an integrated way to live our lives productively.

In my personal experience, after graduating college, I took a two month break to enjoy the fruits of my hard-earned college degree with a "vacation" (which mostly staying home, if I'm being honest). In my mind, I knew that getting a master's degree is a must for me; a ladderized doctorate program was also amenable but I wanted to get that training abroad. But, I wanted to make myself more immersed in the field before I can enter a graduate program. I applied to different jobs - a psychological services consultant (which I primarily wanted), a personal development teacher in senior high, and a research analyst. Luckily, I got the job that I wanted and reaped clinical experience. (I'll write more about my first experiences in the clinic in another post.) A year later, I applied and got into the clinical program of the University of the Philippines. And now, I've been taking coursework on clinical psychology while working as a research associate of a particular office in the same university.

I understand, however, that not everybody could find the "perfect" balance or ideal solution to all of these concerns. In fact, I don't think anyone can -- unless you were blessed with such a life. Why? This is where I reflectively talk about my privilege (as I did at the beginning). Awareness of your own opportunities makes us think fully or subconsciously about our own status in the social system. Whether we like it or not, it affects many of the career - and more broadly, life - decisions depending on where we stand in our lives. Which is why I advocate for practicality. We may not always select the ideal -- but the principle of survival is important, especially in an underdeveloped country like the Philippines. As Montiel and Teh pointed out, poverty and economics have affected psychology practice and it opportunities in the country.

Can goals or plans change? Short answer is 'yes'. There are many reasons why our plans change. It may be because we find ourselves being presented by new or better opportunities. Or perhaps, we discover more personal insights and realizations about the career we want and how to get it. Life can be complex to influence our decisions within or without our control. Whatever the reason is, it is important for one to be able to evaluate one's strengths and weaknesses, limits and boundaries, and our emotions and motivation to keep us going.

Choosing your school: Which one should I go to?

It's very common for a psychology graduate to ask: Where should I get my clinical training? Again, this is dependent on your resources, time, and preferences. Coupled with these is the opportunities (or as Bandura would put it - chance encounters and fortuitous events).

Locally, there are about 60% of schools that offer master's degrees in clinical or counselling psychology as per Commission of Higher Education (CHED). A fewer percentage offers Ph.D. or doctorate equivalent degrees in clinical or counselling psychology, the three most famous being (as per Montiel and Teh): the Ateneo de Manila University, the University of the Philippines, and University of Santo Tomas. However, there is a growing number of urban and rural schools that offer postgraduate studies and attract local aspirants to enroll in their programs. At the top of my mind, St. Louis' University in Baguio City has been regarded as one of the best in developmental psychology (currently considered as a viable alternative to clinical psychology). Likewise, the De La Salle University in Manila, a member of the colloquially regarded "Big Four Universities," is gaining traction for their clinical program very recently.

Focusing on a school's reputation is not enough, however. What, us, clinical psychology hopefuls often look over is the training itself. Circling back to my guide questions on goal setting, preferences often come into play when deciding your training. For most, who prefer a general track in clinical psychology, many schools offer a flexible education to ensure you get the wide knowledge of the field, without undermining the core or essentials. Others may teach clinical psychology in a more specific way, favoring practical experiences like internships over theorizing in the classroom. Factors like faculty composition and expertise, paradigm, and school culture often influence how these training programs are developed. What I find helpful to attain this information is to ask these departments and institutions directly. Another approach is asking a friend taking up a program in that school. No harm in inquiry! Ask away.

Of course, like what I have also emphasized in this article, is the sensitive yet important issue of money. To be specific, your tuition. Clinical training in the Philippines ranges from ₱10,000 to ₱50,000.00 a year. The trend (as I've observed from applying in different schools) is that the more privatized and more "complex" the education, the higher the cost. Public schools often come cheaper than private schools. Consider your capacities for funding your education (including where it comes from) and weigh it with your preferences to make an optimal choice of school or program.

A popular notion among graduate students, or those heading into graduate school, is that public schools, like where I study, often take longer to finish a master's degree than others. Well, there are many factors to this. One is faculty size, for example. How many qualified teachers does the school have that supplies a smooth progression for a graduate student to complete their degrees? Another factor - which many often forget to attribute as well - is the student's motivation. It is not uncommon for a graduate student to fluctuate in wanting to accomplish their degrees. It really depends on how determined one is to see things through (which takes a lot of doing, if I do say so myself).

Overall, choosing a school is much less of an issue when it comes to time, but more so when it comes to practicality. In my opinion, any school that gives you basic competencies, regardless of reputation, is enough. In fact, most of my supervisors did not even settle for their graduate training alone. The field of clinical psychology (much like the other fields) is ever changing and adapting to the times. You often find a lot of trainings, seminars, and specialization programs that practitioners study or enroll in order to keep their practice up to date and ethical. Learning and personal growth, especially as clinicians, should not stop after we receive our degrees and licenses. Again, this calls back to the point of keeping an open eye and open mind on the opportunities that come our way.

Now that we discussed the first three tips, I plan to take a break here and let you, dear reader, reflect on things that will help you make your headway to that RPsy license. Do more reading. Ask questions. Seek answers. And explore yourself and the world to get a better sense of the pathway ahead.

I do hope that this discussion helps! See you on the next one.

#psychology graduates #psychometrician #psychologist #RPm #RPsy #filipino psychology #career tips #philippines #RoadToRPsy #filipino psychometrician #grad school #grad student #RPmNotes

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ma-lark-ey · 4 years ago

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I'm making this post the disclose my current opinions on the Dndads discourse and how frivolous its become.

I would like to preface with one thing;

This post contains content of grooming and manipulation, as this has been the main discussion in this fandom and the issues. I am speaking from my own personal experience, as a former victim of grooming who only recently escaped my abuser. I will not say their name, those who I feel comfortable knowing further information on this already know.

this is my trauma, and I am speaking from my experiences. This is one of the hardest possible topics I could touch on, and I beg anyone who still cares to listen, whether I change your mind or not. Listen.

I've wrestled with my support of this podcast for eleven weeks now. Maybe longer. Since before the discourse became a major thing. I've wrestled with this since episode 34 was released, and I need you understand that.

I need you to understand that I believe the hosts have done what they can to fix these issues. And I genuinely do not see what people still want from them. I will address each topic one at a time, and if I touch on things lesser than others, please understand that this discourse triggers a trauma that I underwent less than a year ago. a trauma I am still processing.

1. Grant, and his over sexualization.

The jokes revolving Grant and his sexual orientation or exploration were sometimes in very poor taste, I am not that blind. I will not defend them or say they weren't as bad as they are. But here'd what people have to think about when we talk about this; Those jokes are already in the episode. They cannot be removed, and the best the hosts can do about that is avoid that humor in the future. Humans are not perfect, and humor is ever growing part of a person, its always a tossup of if a joke will land or not. These did not, and they have not made these jokes since they got called on it.

On the Discord claims about them discussing his porn history, I can say nothing on that. I've seen no sources or proof that that happened. I won't make any opinions or comments on that until I've seen concrete proof that these conversations happened.

2. The Unsafe Discord.

They're Discord is no longer unsafe. Blanket statement, no discussion open. Here's the thing and here's where I'm going into my personal experience; Discords minor precautions arent up to par either. The DnDads hosts have made their 18+ channels, they've made the Discord clear to not be a totally kid friendly place and has tried to separate adults and minors. But they genuinely can only do so much. Minors can easily bypass these guidelines, and that is where we get to the whole grooming argument.

As a grooming victim, this is not the slippery slope people make it out to be. And adult fans,,this is where I'm telling you to sit down and shut up for a minute. Listen, for just a moment. I know I'm "just a kid" but, I've lived the possible outcomes you've thrown out. I lived that experience, and I lived. I survived, and the way you talk about it is so invalidating to me its absolutely disgusting.

I'm prefacing this with this may sound ineloquent, and not as "pleasant" as I usually like to sound. Because with this I expect people to listen. Its not in the public ass Discord server where you should watch out for the child. Its if you see an 18+ individual actively DMing that person, and this minor speaking about this person as if they're a major part of their life.

I need you to understand that I was genuinely wary of one of our own community members when I first began speaking with them, because of this trauma. I wary of ALL of our community members. I didn't share my other socials with people in this community unless I knew their content first. There have been multiple times I've stopped myself from messaging who I will call "My Annus" because of this trauma I've endured.

And I'm sorry, but Waterdeep genuinely has no precautions set in place to separate adults and minors that the DnDads Patreon does not. You cannot act like saints and villainize them, when they adjusted and became you. Then either both of you are saints or both of you are demons.

Children interacting with adults is always a bit set back at first. But I've been groomed. Twice. And you people act like its obvious, like it can happen so easily. And it does, it happens easily. First its them texting you so much you feel overwhelmed, then its them becoming someone you rely on. Someone who makes you pity them.

And its not gonna be people who are SIGNIFCANTLY older. (i.e, I feel much less worry interacting with 30 year olds than I do 18-22 year olds.) Because the adult people that feel 'more understandable' to be friends with cause their just barely adults? they tend to pry harder. They can get away with it. Thats just fact. The people who say "Oh I'm eighteen, but I just turned eighteen" I'm always the wariest of. Not because I'm convinced they're bad people or whatever, but because both times; my abuser was one of those people. This was two different people as well.

And thats what the adults of this fandom won't address. That its not the slope they've made it out to be. Because then they have to retract statements they made, and a lot of people, minors and adults, just don't have the humility to do that.

The only advice I can give to people in the server, who are worried for the minors. These are the only signs I can give you, and this is from my experience or the experience of other survivors I've spoken to, and I'm by no means saying this is concrete.

Abusers tend to be /just/ enough of an adult to be considered on, but not so old that it'll be considered weird for them to befriend a minor. The age gaps I see most often are 14/19 or in that kind of range. They'll go for the lonelier or newer folks, the ones who haven't built their group in the community and are just entering. The ones looking for their place in the hierarchy. If you want to help protect us, you watch like a mother bear when a new minor joins.

A lot of us don't realize its happening until its too late, and by the time we realize the situation we've fallen into its too late for us to get ourselves out. The majority of us have weak wills and a fear of conflict.

3. What the Hosts have done in response.

I honestly, genuinely think the hosts have done a lot of steps in the right direction. And in recent episodes? man, they've tagged their shit better than the McElroys, and no I'm not reaching there.

Honestly, they kind of did before to, on topics they knew were really rough for some people.

When they warned for the Willy Stapler stuff, I was grateful. They warned me I may be triggered by Ron and Willy's dynamic before I was forced with it. The McElroys had a scene with grooming in Grad, and I wasn't warned. I couldn't mentally prepare myself and I had a minor reaction to it. And thats not at all to shit on the McElroys, anyone who knows me know I love that family more than anything. That they saved me. Thats just a statement I need you all to understand.

The Hosts aren't "ignoring us" they're listening to us. They genuinely are. They saw we wanted content warnings, and they gave us some of the best content warnings I've seen. They've content warned episodes I didnt see reason for content warnings.

4. The Transcripts.

Look, this is beating a dead horse at this point. I, personally, have debated beginning to transcribe episode. I know they said they will, and I trust their word. But thats all we can really do, right?

I've transcribed things myself before, guys, and thats hard. and it takes time. and knowing them, they'll want to get all the current episodes up at once, and thats gonna take a hot minute to get down. And we can go into "Well why didnt they transcribe from the beginning?" and well, that's because transcribing just wasn't a thing until recently? Like again, going back to MBMBAM and McElroys, they don't even have all of TAZ transcribed last I checked (I believe their transcriptions go from Grad-Stolen Century, and anything before Stolen Century doesn't have one yet. I may be wrong on that.)

I will not speak on the other grievances and issues people have brought up in the show. The topics I covered are the only ones I feel comfortable speaking on on a public platform, where my words can sway opinions.

There is no TL;DR, because as I said in the beginning; if you can't read this, you aren't listening well enough nor willing to actually discuss the issues you have. You're looking for something to be mad about. Period, end of discussion.

I don't say that to act like I'm some authority on this, or some higher being above all of you for "being forgiving." Because, frankly I don't forgive them. I will continue to support them for making steps in the right direction, and upping their game. But, I won't forgive them for their jokes or the brief lack of precaution in the server. But, I will move on and I will support them. Because, as a victim of the problems people brought up in those situations, the steps the took are the best ones they could have. And I am grateful for that.

If other survivors read this and disagree, you're perfectly valid in that. We all went something, and it effects each of us differently. My heart goes out to you, as well, I know how isolating and genuinely terrifying those experiences and situations can be.

To those who aren't survivors and have read this; I beg you to think about this.

I am open to discussion further on this, but to an extent. There are some opinions I hold in this message that I will flat out tell you to not debate me on, not because of anything other than what I said in this post was hard enough to me to say.

Thank you for your time. EDIT: I implore anyone reading to the read the notes on this post, more information and discussion can be found and all of it is just as important.

#dndads #dndads discourse #discourse #dungeons and daddies

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ask-the-clergy-bc · 5 years ago

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Hiya! So in your opinion what do you think it would take for the Papas and Cardinal Copia to open up and be vulnerable with a S/O? Would it need time and trust, maybe an event which caused them to have an epiphany, or maybe they get caught at a bad time and need some comfort? Thank you!

I accidentally made this into a giant character introspection, whooooooooooops!

Ooooooooooooooooh boy, this is gonna be a long one so sit down! There’s no easy answer for me to give without a thesis sooooooooooooooooooooo-

Papa’s and Copia - What it Takes to have them be Truly Vulnerable with an S/O

Character flaw and reflection time! I will warn you these men are all far from perfect!

There’s definitely a LOT of elements and circumstances for each of these Antipopes, so I will try my best to sum it up without letting it get too big! Trust will be the key word in opening them all up!

A super short answer for this would be a small chart. From easiest to hardest to open up genuinely to an S/O (regardless of the situation), it would look something like this.

Papa Nihil

Papa I

Cardinal Copia

Papa II

Papa III

Keeping this in mind is actually really important as a lot of it has to play into each personality and life experiences. Even then, this is a super tight race! They all don’t blindly trust and they all have a level of mystery they NEED to keep about them. So it’s a huge mix of their jobs as Papas and who they are deep down.

There is a reason such things like Prime Movers exist/ Having courtesans and harem members rather than proper spouses. A Papa could easily be compromised by a spouse. With either a partner using them to manipulate the Church, or straight up betraying them. A Papa has to be alert, smart, and VERY VERY sure when choosing a lifelong mate. They have to be able to know without a doubt that they can count on their partner with their very lives and the lives of others.

THEN there are so many personal factors and circumstances that come into play! It’s safe to say that all of them are emotionally guarded in some way, shape, or form. That comes with the territory of being a Hell Blooded man of power. You don’t know who REALLY loves you, who’s using you, or who wants something. On top of that, the emotional burdens of their work, their faith, personal fears, and the expectations put on them.

It can be VERY hard to gauge what really clicks for each of them to trust someone. So, as asked, we will take a look into each of them! :)

Papa Nihil:

If you caught him in his younger years, he might have been more trusting with a serious partner. Not out of naivety or blind love, but out of arrogance. Arrogance that a partner could not hurt him even if they betrayed him. Nihil had an ego to him and felt on top of the world- being Papa and nothing to stop him. Not even a broken heart! To him, the worst thing that could happen with an S/O would be heartbreak, and he refused to believe that was anything that could break him! Well… it ended up happening with Sister Imperator. So after she left, he understood the consequences of his actions and what that would actually feel like. It’s not something he’s too keen to feel again.

As he got older, he hardened. The only one who has really ever seen his softer, vulnerable side has been Imperator. She’s the only one he remotely trusts in the deepest sense, and even then- he has doubted her motives with the introduction of Copia! Nihil learned the hard way that putting your trust in the wrong people can have serious consequences to your life.

That all being said, two things really work with getting Nihil to be open to you with his feelings. First would be his “test”- not something he purposely does to make his S/O jump through hoops, mind you. Consider it an observation period where he sees how serious a relationship can be with you. Nihil doesn’t mind flings, and as Grand Papa, has a willing harem at his disposal. The first months or years with a single partner is him learning about them. This goes from seeing how serious YOU are, your intentions and sincerity, how well you both click, and how close you end up being. That, and making sure you aren’t just using him. Granted, he doesn’t mind the occasional arm candy or someone who just wants to have fun. Those are just the partners he doesn’t put extra effort into when it comes to emotions or deeper mental intimacy.

The second is just plain old time. If you two become serious, and stick by each other through thick and thin- you will learn about him. Nihil will slowly disclose more and more to you. Don’t go crazy, because the Grand Papa is always watching for any hints of betrayal (nothing personal, it comes with the job.) So the more you are trustworthy, the more he shares. There will be a few tough subjects to crack with him, like his relationship with Imperator and his sons. But the more you mutually talk and grow together, the more things work out. I will warn you, no matter how much he trusts you he IS a stubborn old goat and some information HAS to be pried from him- simply because HE WILL NOT ADMIT ANYTHING TO HIMSELF SOMETIMES.

Papa I:

Papa can be very open and trusting with a serious partner, that typically is not the problem. Granted, he’s very analytical so his own feelings are something he tries to approach logically. But that’s not the problem. The hurtle would just be you both getting to be a serious couple in the first place. As to him there is a vast difference between a sexual/romantic fling, casual companionship, and the workings of a true mate ship. The last of which is riddled with pitfalls due to his place as Papa and carrier of his bloodline.

Papa tends to let his sense of duty rule over almost every aspect of his life. He is one of the ‘purest’ followers of Lucifer, and it shows in everything he does! Because of that, he has not typically sat down to consider companionship past his carnal needs and having someone to spend time with. Typically anything deeper would mean something equivalent to our idea of marriage- and with “marriage” to a Papa brings up the topic of possible heirs brought on by the Ministry. When a Papa is heavily involved with someone beyond their casual lovers, the idea of heirs is ALWAYS discussed. The Bloodline HAS to be continued. Depending on the sex of the partner, questions will be asked such as- can the partner become a prime mover? If possible are they SUITABLE? If they can’t have children will they interfere in possible heirs being made? In short, Papa equates “Serious” partners to this duty to sow the seeds of the bloodline’s future.

That being said, Papa would actually prefer a partner he could be open with. The trick is that he has to snap himself out of thinking just for the family and ministry’s sake. Which is self admittedly a difficult feat for him, because he’s always in work and faith mode. That’s just who he is. The other just has to do with how he treats others.

Typically Papa is much more interested in what you, his partner, is feeling. This comes with YEARS of thinking of everyone but himself. Papa has had to consider his flock, the will of the high clergy, the will of his father, the wants and needs of his brothers, and those he considers friends or in need of his guidance. Papa knows how to take care of himself, so HIS feelings are almost inconsequential. Papa much rather let you talk and share how you are than consider himself. It typically just takes a bit of asking and prodding on your part to get him to open up if you two have been close for a long time. Being honest and to the point also helps, as it gives him a moment to collect his thoughts and express himself thoroughly.

Papa II:

Being emotionally vulnerable for Papa II is very difficult. Not because he CHOOSES to be a ‘wounded bitter old man.’ Even though he is very much that AND a known grouch and perfectionist; Papa just doesn’t know HOW to be. Papa does have emotions and he does feel them very deeply when he’s not trying to tough it out. But Papa has never been GOOD at expressing his feelings, even as a child. It’s not something he was in touch with, and not very comfortable for him to think about. Unlike III, Papa II just cannot seem to find it in himself to express his true feelings. Granted, he could put it into words as he is very eloquent. But… it’s difficult.

On top of that, Papa has never been one to let his weaknesses appear. Emotions are often embraced by Lucifer, as expressing them. But to Papa, these are his weak points and he prides himself too much in keeping all his weaknesses guarded. Papa has crafted himself to cover his vulnerabilities in such a way that they play to his strengths! For his emotions and true feelings, he detaches from them; giving him the ability to lead with a critical and objective mind not bogged down by empathy. As a Papa, this makes him an excellent and analytical leader. As a lover, this often bites him in the ass- especially in pursuing any SERIOUS life time commitments. Something he wasn’t keen on doing in the first place.

Papa is very aware of how ‘spouses’ work for the Bloodline. Bonding with a potential mate has always been in the interest of furthering the family, not personal fulfillment. He’s tried VERY hard to keep it that way. And like his father, he is painfully aware of those who would manipulate his feelings. And if we were being honest? The idea of genuinely falling in love scares the absolute shit out of Papa. The idea of being so vulnerable to a person who could crush your very soul, the soul of a demon blooded Antipope, is not something to take lightly! And it’s NOT like he has had any good role models to show how true love should operate…

To win him over, it would be a good idea to show HIM your vulnerable side first. Kinda like when a cat shows you its belly as a sign of trust. LEt him see the ugly side of you, the insecure- but slowly. Don’t hit him all at once with everything. You have to let Papa come to you. It might take a lot of time this way, but it’s a start- there is a reason he feels more comfortable with submission. It makes him feel so much more secure. Also showing your dedication and love through action and not words will be HUGE! Showing him you can be trusted, that you have a good head on your shoulders, and that you have his best interests at heart. Alternatively, if something life altering should happen to him, you supporting him is the ultimate display of your dependability. If you try to force him at any point he will pull back out of reflex. It’s one of the few times he lets your roles be reversed.

Papa III:

Many would accuse his older brother, Emeritus the II, of being the hardest to make vulnerable- yet many are surprised that it is actually him! But Papa has spent years weaving a huge web around himself. Papa has so many masks and layers to him out of fear that sometimes even he doesn’t know what part of him is genuine or not. He learned from an early age that he was the most emotional, and most likely to get hurt. And let me tell you something, Emeritus the Third is NOT a man who likes the feeling of being hurt emotionally. It’s practically unbearable for him. He already deals with a lot of emotional burdens from feeling as though he were the ‘weak’ one of the Bloodline. Truth be told, he hasn’t had the best relationship with his father, either.

What’s worse? As much as he likes to talk about himself, Papa does NOT like talking about his true issues and anxieties. Papa usually deflects in such subtle ways that those close to him THINK he is being vulnerable, when in truth he is being superficial. So when you hear him complain about how the Ministry treats him, or a minor insecurity brought on by an argument with his brother- you are only scratching the surface. And even if he loves you, Papa does not want you to see that ugly, miserable side of him. He doesn’t even want to acknowledge it himself. If he can barely stand these horrible sides to himself, how does he expect you to stay and accept him?

For Papa III, the key factor would be time and patience. But this is further made difficult with his fleeting interests and inability to commit. The natural way to his vulnerable side is by never leaving his side, assuming he doesn’t forcibly push you away. For example, one of the few who know him deeply is Omega and his eldest brother, Papa I. That’s because they have been around his entire life. Either you would have to be the same, or be there in a huge moment of weakness to have him even remotely come clean.

The best (or in his case, worse) would be you being there at his absolute lowest point. When he’s so far gone in his emotions that he can’t even muster up the energy to put on a show. When he can’t bring himself to be Papa, to be charming- hell even RUDE AND ANGRY. The best example would be like if you were around after he was stripped of the Ghost Project and made a fool out of publically. That was such a horrible time for him and everyone around him. But if you are there with unconditional love and he SEES that you love him through every facet of his identity, he will want to stick close and loyal to you. It will take MORE time, but little by little Papa ends up baring his soul to you. He’d be lying if he said he still wasn’t afraid to confide in you, least you up and leave...

Cardinal Copia/Papa IV:

Copia has struggled with trust nearly his whole life, and ALL of his career in the High Ministry. If we are being honest, as welcoming and loving as the church is, the upper clergy is full of deceit and cutthroat tactics. It’s as competitive and dangerous as any monarchy or noble circles. That’s because within it there is a LOT more at stake. Ministry members have vanished or been found dead thanks to inner politics, and Copia has his share of close calls. He’s had to learn to trust no one but yourself, and never EVER let your guard down too much.

Unfortunately, this does bleed into his personal life. Copia has had his share of bed mates and even lovers that have stuck around longer than anticipated. But long term commitments have been very few and far between. And to be honest, he HAS been burned before. From those who sought to betray him to partners who just DIDN’T LIKE who he really was underneath. Copia has buried that hurt and tried to use it as a reminder of why he needs to keep himself until he makes it to the top. Then NO ONE could hurt him the way they could when he was a mere Ministry member.

Copia has always been really cautious around lovers to the point of paranoia. Where he adamantly refused to let himself be weak at any point! He is always good to them, but is just plain scared of letting his guard down. But the difference between Copia and the rest of the Papas is that Copia CRAVES intimate connection like you wouldn’t believe. Sometimes he desperately wants that stability and trust with another person without fear of repercussion. Copia often feels like he can never have it, and it’s one of the few things he wants almost as bad as the Papacy. But he’s never had time or a chance to- far too much to do and too much to risk!

One of the biggest ways Copia ends up calming down around you and actually opening up is if you have been there for the long run. Especially if you two were some type of couple or close BEFORE he was ever chosen for the Ghost project. Copia needs that undying support and consistency to really warm up to you. If you’ve unconditionally been there from the beginning and have not changed since his Papacy, Copia is nothing but loyal to you in return. Copia is a very good actor, but he will still be skittish and reluctant to talk too much. You just have to be patient with him as he gets comfortable. I promise, he wants nothing more than to trust you completely.

#the band ghost #ghost bc #Ghost headcanon #papa nihil #Papa Emeritus II #papa emeritus i #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia #long post #this is long and im not sorry #character analysis

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queer-cat-policy · 4 years ago

Text

Hi! I’m Ace!

Hi, I am ace. Not like the ace of spades but rather ace as in the slang for Asexual. And here I am, telling you, a stranger this. Not just a stranger but many. Writing essays, countless posts, and telling the world as kindly as possible about how I exist is pretty exhausting. But it is more exhausting being invisible. So now I join a movement, an invisible one fighting for visibility, so that maybe, just maybe, we find others like us.

I like to be fully disclosed, I will give you the definition of asexuality but the rest of it is all me. You cannot apply this article to learn about your friends. Maybe, if they are anything like me, you gain some insight, but the reality is, I write this in hopes that someone reading it will feel a little less alone in the world. Maybe this helps you understand that you are not abnormal, instead you are a human being first and foremost and deserve empathy like one. So, what I am saying is, do not take this article as the be all of asexuality. If you have an asexual friend in your life, you should ask them the questions you have with the intention of strengthening your relationship and becoming informed on a topic you previously were not informed about. And if you are asexual and my experiences don’t resonate with you, I encourage you to seek the rest of the community and know you are valid and you are not alone.

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality by itself at its most basic, universal definition, is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. And that’s it. The rest is a spectrum. There are many different types of asexual people, every single one has different experiences and feelings of attraction or may not even feel attraction at all. So we call this a spectrum and some parts of the spectrum have different titles. I think most people have no idea that attraction outside sexual attraction exists, meaning they didn’t know there are other names for attraction. Someone who identifies as asexual but is still attracted to people can feel aesthetic attraction, romantic attraction, physical attraction, emotional attraction, intellectual attraction, social attraction… and the list goes on.

There is something called the A-spectrum which isn’t just asexuality but aromantic, demi romantic, gray romantic, demi sexual, and gray sexual. Demi means that that attraction does not occur until an emotional bond is formed, gray means someone who has limited experiences with that attraction.

What Makes Me Asexual?

Asexuality means something different for every single person who identifies under it and because I can’t name really every type of asexual person out there, I am going to tell you a little bit about myself.

I am asexual because I feel no sexual attraction to anyone. I, in particular, do not want sex and am quite repulsed at the idea of it. I don’t enjoy the sex obsessed culture either and tend not to partake in it. I do however find people attractive for several reasons, it is usually an individual thing. I emotionally bond with people before I feel anything towards them for one. The attraction from there can be emotional or aesthetic. I know what type of personalities I draw in and enjoy interacting with too. I date and have been in about three relationships in my life but only one was long term.

Romantically, I don’t tend to identify. I say this because things change from person to person (as in depending on the individual I am attracted to). I will usually umbrella myself following the explanation of my asexual identity, stating that I am queer alongside being asexual or if I’m not comfortable talking about my asexuality, I leave it at queer. I say queer because I am attracted to different people for different reasons and sometimes gender isn’t necessarily a discriminating factor. I have mostly emotionally bonded with men in the past, but I find women physically and aesthetically attractive. Additionally, I am not exclusively attracted to men or women, I also can be attracted to transgender and non-binary people.

Is Asexuality in LGBT?

The Asexual community gets a lot of ping pong discussion about rather or not we are apart of the LBGTQIA+ Community. Some people believe that if you are just asexual and hetero-romantic and cis… then you should not be identifying as part of the LGBTQIA+ Community. I won’t get to deep into it, but the truth is, the A is for the asexual spectrum, not just the queer asexual folks. And we too have struggles, some much like the rest of the community and some very different. To leave out asexual people is aphobic in my personal opinion and a gatekeeping tactic. I one time read someone who was upset that the community had become like “the island of misfit toys.” I won’t tell you what to believe about this, but I’ll definitely talk about this in later posts so if you’re interested in reading more about it, keep an eye out!

The Fears of Asexuals…

We live in a sex obsessed culture. Sex is literally everywhere. It is in music, TV, movies, school, social life, work, art, commercials, food----- This culture is absolutely thriving (this is not a good thing) off of the exploitation of sexuality. Especially of women. If you can’t understand the problem with this, imagine hating the super bowl around Thanksgiving or Christmas at… well Christmas, when every store, elevator, billboard, TV series, and artist is throwing Christmas in your face. Except for asexual people, this is our life everyday we wake up and live in the world. Every. Day.

Because everyone around us is so obsessed with sex, asexual people can feel overwhelmingly alone. And for those seeking a significant other, that is a legitimate fear. Everyone else around us in relationships all require the one thing we will not give: Sex. You’ll never guess the number of times I get unmatched on dating apps after someone asks me what asexual means or after the first time I mention it outside my profile… because I guess if I don’t say anything than all the flags on my profile that include my sexual identity can be potentially false?

Asexual people, because many of us are very uncultured in sexual cues and such, are also at risk of being sexually abused and assaulted. Asexual people have gotten into situations where they are legitimately sexually attacked either because they have rejected someone or someone tries to change them by forcing themselves on them, or because they miss cues. Remember though if you have been sexually assaulted it is not your fault. There is no “what if I did this differently.” We are trained currently to be blameful of ourselves in sexual assault situations. But the fact is, if you did not consent to it- if there was no clear/in the right mind consent to it- it should not have happened and there is absolutely no excuse on the attacker’s part that should change that verdict.

Another part to being in a sex obsessed culture is just the sheer disbelief that people exist that do not want it. Rather it is for the intimacy or instincts, it will truly awestruck people of all kinds to the point they may tell us that we are not real. Not valid. Every asexual person has heard “you haven’t found the right person,” “How do you know if you’ve never had it,” “you can’t be asexual, you have a significant other,” “Love can’t really exist without sex,” “you’re just scared.” And we think about these things like ‘what if,’ and let other people’s invalidation of our identities invalidate ourselves.

Asexual Relationships?

It is a common misconception that asexual people do not date or do not have these kinds of intimate relationships. It is true that some people who identify as asexual also identify as aromatic or choose not to date or seek intimate relationships, but this does not describe the entire asexual community. Some asexual people will only date other asexual people, some do not. Asexual people in non-asexual relationships may come to a compromise in that relationship or vice versa. But it is incredibly important to remember that what matters most is that both parties are being satisfied. That may mean we discover that this partner is not the one. The needs need to be met on both sides.

As previously mentioned, there are a lot of people who think love must come with sex. You are more likely to come across someone with that mindset on the street than not. I personally try to meet people via online dating, and I would not say I have been 100% successful or unsuccessful. I have made several friends, I have had a boyfriend, I have done a lot of dating, I’ve also been unmatched as soon as they realize I am not wanting to sleep with them. That can be extremely… demeaning. And bad for self-esteem. I wrote something a little about how it feels to be consistently rejected for being asexual. I get rejected sometimes before people even know what asexual is. They know it is something from the LGBTQIA+ Community, it’s not straight, it’s not normal. And yes, maybe I shouldn’t want to be with someone like that but it feels like there are more people like that than not and there is no cure for the overwhelming fear that I will end up alone. It also creates an uncertain anxiety when I do not know why I may have been rejected. My brain defaults to “it’s because I’m asexual” and I go through the same devastation I would if I knew for sure it’s because I am asexual.

On the other side are the people who decide to date an asexual with the intention of being the one to “fix us.” Or they think it will change- because ultimately, they don’t believe in asexuality. Or they think it is personal, like instead of me being repulsed by sex I am repulsed by the person. For me, since I am not a very physically affectionate person (even when I am that comfortable with someone, it is very limited), that’s more common than I ever thought possible. That kind of says something about our society more than the individual, in my personal opinion. It says that our society as values our sexuality (especially as women) more than other parts of our personality.

Something I will include in here, friendships. A lot of my friends do not know how to talk about my sexuality. They don’t know what it is, it makes them uncomfortable, they think they have to give me the sex ed run down, or they think I have to be in PG settings all the time to be comfortable. No, I don’t necessarily want to hear in detail about your sex life but if there’s something you want to tell me, I’m not a fragile flower you have to protect. Friends also may constantly bring up my sexuality in an environment where it may not be comfortable. My friends have sometimes flaunted it like a golden ticket, like a token queer friend. I have to tell them to stop and if they don’t, I have to reconsider our friendship. Our sexual orientations are personal, no matter how out and forward we are, it belongs to us, to you. Coming out belongs to you and it is never insignificant enough to deserve to happen against your own free will.

Dear Ace Community Let’s Communicate!

The last thing I want to add here is just a suggestion for the asexual community. I see a lot of people who post about the exhaustion that comes with having to constantly re-explain ourselves to partners, friends, people of interest… Stop being exhausted. Do not tell them to google it. Someone is trying to understand you, googling is not understanding you. Take it as a compliment and be ready to explain and advocate for yourself and our community. Communication is so important. Google does not tell that person who you are, especially because we are on such a wide spectrum. I advise strongly against it. And probably, when you have to have that conversation, don’t have it over text. At least for me, I say so many more meaningful things when it’s face to face or over the phone at the very least versus over text message. I’m not just being a parrot of information from what I know the internet has told me, I’m telling that person about myself and what it means for me to be asexual. Communicate what it means for you to be asexual.

If you have an asexual friend, don’t be afraid of them. Know that you can’t change who they are, they don’t want you to try, you can’t “fix them.” If you don’t understand them, ask questions and don’t be critical.

Thank you so much for reading! If you have any question, reach out on my tumblr or contact page!

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lucidpantone · 4 years ago

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Taking the point of the specific post on it's own. Do you disagree with the argument that lgbtqi+ roles should be reserved 4 lgbtqi+ actors? ppl have the reason 4 those opinions as a need, bc the acting world isn't yet as inclusive of certain types of characters so esp when a more complexed and nuanced lgbtqi part arrives, the least the casting agent could do is find talent from within the community who will bring an unparalleled rep on & off screen.

I am probably not a good person to ask something like this because I dont define my sexuality with in some of the more traditional queer labels. The closest term I feel comfortable using is queer and to me queerness is defined by the simple statement of a human having the capacity to love another human (everything else gender, biology, society is just noise) as long as their is love then nothing else really matters to me. So in many ways queerness isnt even defined by physicality, sexuality or appearance because you can be ace and queer, or ace trans and queer, you can desire to partner with someone of the opposite sex and have a traditional family and queer. So to me the question you’re asking me is can people who identify as “strait” play movie roles for very specific types of traditional queer labelled groups? I mean sure because I also believe that an ace queer male can play the role of a gay male even tho they may never have participated in the act of queer sex. Like I said I am not a good person to ask this question I pause a lot at the use of labels. I understand that politically they are super important to legislate law and also convict offenders of hate crimes and protect the community at large. I understand that labels give some queer people definition and guidance and I am so happy for them because thats wonderful but for me I try to stay pretty far away from label culture as it can cause a lot of confusion and divide parts of the community. Also I think it’s an incredibly privileged point of view from westernized countries to even assume that all queer people can disclose their queerness publicly and define themselves as a “queer actor”.

Like that’s some assumed privilege if I ever saw some.So sometimes I roll my eyes at western queer people being like you must be queer to play this role? Firstly how dare you assume that every queer person wants to publicly come out? Thats a super dangerous precedent to set. I think for the sake of diversity and for protective services I would frame this argument more so around big movie studios approaching casting not with a “what big name can we get?” attitude but more so “what selection of diverse actors (this encompasses sexuality, appearance, prior experience) can we get to screen test?” for this role but the film industry doesnt work that way. Its a bit better within the screenwriting world as studios dont bank on screenwriters being famous to produce film & TV as much as actors.... but so yea..... I guess thats my rant on your question. Like I said probably not a good person to ask......

#lucidpantone anons

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melissaivory · 5 years ago

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10 Questions You Always Wanted To Ask a Nude Art Model

Envision sitting bare with somebody squinting at you for quite a long time, taking a gander at every one of your bends, valleys and moves as a confounding arrangement of circles, triangles and lines. The evacuation of dress and nakedness might be sexualised for the majority of us, yet for a naked craftsmanship model, being stripped is a negligible piece of the activity. And keeping in mind that naked workmanship may have existed in India throughout recent centuries—with the convention deified on the dividers of our sanctuaries and royal residences, and in the models that fill our caverns.

the overseers of our profound quality have ensured the fine art that assists novices with understanding human life systems and the play of shadow and light, is currently viewed as dishonorable. The negative implication appended to it implies that today, scarcely any workmanship schools are supporting for it and considerably less galleries are available to disparaging it. It additionally implies that craftsmanship models like Tulsi need to stay quiet about their work, with her significant other and his family accepting she's a sweeper at one of India's most lofty workmanship schools.

So how could you become a naked craftsmanship model?

Tulsi: My mom was a naked craftsmanship model. Furthermore, her mom before her. My sister is a model as well. She's the person who got me into this. I was amazingly reluctant from the start. I used to consider it something terrible; I was a kid and didn't get it. At the point when my mom would bring me along for sessions, I would rush to the opposite finish of the structure and abstain from being anyplace close to her. Indeed, in any event, when I displayed for the absolute first time, I weeped for quite a long time previously. In any case, from that point forward, I got settled with it. I overlooked every one of my hindrances, and now it doesn't trouble me by any stretch of the imagination.

Considering the set of working responsibilities vigorously includes gazing at one spot for quite a long time, how would you get past it?

It certainly gets exhausting. Sitting for quite a long time in one position is intense and in the event that I move around or reach to scratch a tingle, the specialists can get irritated. Be that as it may, I don't keep down and on the off chance that they state something, I disclose to them I am a genuine individual and not a katputli (manikin), which for the most part makes them give me some slack. It's anything but difficult to lose all sense of direction in what you are doing. What experiences my brain is only my family, my better half and my youngsters. The dread that they will discover is most grounded during the sessions and I can't resist the urge to stress. I realize I am not doing anything incorrectly yet I additionally realize they won't see it that way. It makes me extremely pitiful however I don't let it appear all over, ever. I simply carry out my responsibility.

It is safe to say that you are a nudist in different pieces of your life as well?

No chance! My family has no clue I do this. The day my significant other discovers, he will separate from me. I have revealed to him I fill in as a sweeper at this workmanship school. Once, he referenced that he'd heard that this spot utilizes naked models. I disclosed to him I'd never known about a wonder such as this. I can't tell my kids either. Its absolutely impossible they would comprehend.

Have specialists who paint you gotten turned on during a session?

I don't think so. The craftsmen take a gander at me from an investigation perspective. Like a specialist would take a gander at his patient. I have never felt their look to be shabby or sexual in nature—they do what they accomplish for craftsmanship. A layman won't see yet the painters' method for seeing is totally unique. I have an extraordinary association with the understudies. We are continually snickering and kidding around. They've never caused me to feel awkward—even the men.

What is your opinion about how your body has changed throughout the years you've been doing this?

All things considered, I do think I've gotten very fat throughout the years. At the point when I was more youthful, I was fitter however now, there are moves of fat all over the place. Be that as it may, that doesn't make me cognizant. Anyone is a body and each painting of me satisfies me. Truth be told I even joke about it with the specialists. Some of them state, "Tulsi, you've become so huge you aren't fitting in my canvas any longer!" I let them know, "Don't accuse me on the off chance that you don't have the foggiest idea how to paint!"

What's the most peculiar posture you have needed to hold for long?

Abnormal postures are in reality better; you find a good pace significant bits in case you're not feeling it that day, particularly in the event that you find a good pace. It's standing that is the most exceedingly terrible. All the weight is as a rule on one leg and sooner or later, it begins to hurt. Once, I nearly blacked out just from standing. It may look simple yet any standing posture is the most irregular.

Could body hair hinder your work?

It relies upon the craftsman. In the event that they have any solicitation, at that point I go along. Else I come as I am. There's no readiness all things considered. I feel anyone can do this.

Have you at any point been whore disgraced?

In the event that my family members and neighbors come to realize what I do, at that point I most likely will be. A few people have an inappropriate thought regarding this calling. Fortunately, they haven't discovered. Then again, my specialists have never disgraced me. They treat me with a great deal of regard. They converse with me, make me snicker, cause me to feel like I am doing a major thing.

Is this a method to take in substantial income?

Not about enough. I get just Rs 1,000 ($14) for a day, where I would have a couple of movements of three hours each. Additionally, work is occasional and sparse. I could have appointments for half a month, however then not get work for a considerable length of time. I need to prop up to various universities and craftsmanship schools. Be that as it may, insufficient spots are available to bare craftsmanship, so this isn't sufficient to support me. I need to do other work like washing dishes to continue myself, however regardless I like doing it on the grounds that the understudies find a workable pace. I feel upbeat for them when they make a decent composition and get a tribute for it.

What's the most clever thing that is transpired during a session?

When I was in a presenting session, and I got a call from my relative saying that they were at CST (the railroad station directly alongside the school). They had descended from the town to meander the city and shock me—out of the blue. I actually needed to drop everything and run. I've never worn my garments quicker. At the point when I at long last arrived, they asked me for what valid reason I looked so focused and I revealed to them I was accomplishing such a great deal clearing at work I was worn out. They trusted me and even identified. I really wanted to giggle about it later. However, on the off chance that they came to realize I was butt-exposed in a homeroom not exactly an hour back, there would be anything other than compassion.

#10 Questions You Always Wanted To Ask a Nude Art Model #art model

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itspixcelation · 5 years ago

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Is The Caligula Effect: Overdose Worth Your Time?

I initially wrote this review for an episode of The Pixcelation Show over on my channel, which you can visit by clicking HERE. If that seems like something you’d enjoy, please scroll to the bottom to find the finished video. Thanks!

In the spring of 2018, an anime by the name of Caligula aired. No; before you ask, it’s not at all connected with the incestuous third emperor of Rome, nor is it connected with the 1979 film about the incestuous third emperor of Rome, but rather, it’s reportedly named after ‘the guilt and excitement that comes with doing something that you shouldn’t do.’ It didn’t really do too much for the anime community at large, only receiving a 6.18 on MyAnimeList as of writing. I remember thinking the series was unnecessarily complicated, and, it being deeply rooted in psychology, it tended to play armchair psychologist to an annoying degree, but it was serviceable, at least.

It wasn’t long after I started the series that I discovered it was based on a game released on the PlayStation Vita called The Caligula Effect, but I would’ve never known about it because there was next to no marketing for it here in the west. I suppose such is the fate of a JRPG on one of the most, if not the most, underappreciated consoles in history.

Welcome to the Pixcelation Show; the only series on YouTube to tackle the questions on everyone’s mind, such as ‘do artificially intelligent idols dream of electric sheep?’ I’m pixcelation, and in today’s episode we’re not gonna be discussing the Caligula anime, nor are we gonna be talking about the original game on the PS Vita. No — in today’s episode, we’ll be talking all about the recently released remaster on PS4, Switch and PC, entitled The Caligula Effect: Overdose. In order to be completely up-front with everyone, I feel obligated to disclose that I was given a code for the PS4 version by NIS America, who published the game in the west.

Imagine, for a moment, that the vocaloid Hatsune Miku gained sentience, and because of songs such as The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku, she comes to the foregone conclusion that we’re all practically suicidal and that being in the real world is what made us this way. So, she does what any rational, sentient AI would, and traps us in the matrix. In the world of The Caligula Effect, their Miku, an AI known as μ, believes she can provide humanity with a happier existence within the artificial world she’s created, called Mobius.

In The Caligula Effect: Overdose, you play as an unnamed protagonist, one of the people invited by μ to live within the simulation. It doesn’t take long before they’re able to see the rift, at which point they join a group of rebels fighting back against μ and her Ostinato Musicians, all of whom desire to keep everyone blind, deaf and dumb to the truth about their world. As you come face-to-face with each of the Ostinato Musicians, you begin to unravel the truth behind the truth, and you’ll be forced to take sides in the battle for the future of both Mobius and the real world.

In my opinion, while the story isn’t necessarily anything revolutionary, the characters drive it home with relatable arcs and … well … character. In the Go-Home Club, as well as the Ostinato Musicians, there are incredibly memorable characters that really twist your arm when it comes to picking the ending you’d prefer. In both groups, there are characters that are foils for characters on the opposing side. For example; Kotono, Mifue and Shogo in the Go-Home Club directly oppose Mirei, Sweet-P and Thorn respectively, in both their actions and character arcs. I really liked how they handled that, as it helps to illustrate the idea that, while the Musicians are the enemy, they’re also only human, and as such, while you may want to return to the real world, each of them has their own compelling motive for remaining within Mobius.

In thinking about each respective arc, one thing that I wasn’t the biggest fan of would be how the writers handled certain social issues through the characters. I’ll provide an example; in one of the early arcs, it’s revealed that one of the Musicians is transgender in the real world, and as a result they’re often the butt of everyone’s jokes just because they’re one of the ‘bad guys.’ I found that, when I was given the option to join the Musicians and learn more about this person, they actually seemed to develop into more than just a stereotype, but players who didn’t choose to become a double agent like I did would never know that, and therefore think of them as a joke. The same can be said of another character, who has developed a hatred of overweight people, and as such the game tends to play said people as stereotypes that only exist to stuff their face. I applaud the game for tackling heavy issues such as body dysmorphia and eating disorders, but I could have gone for less of the victims of these conditions being played for laughs.

In-universe, the cannon fodder enemies, called ‘digiheads,’ are created because:

they aren’t aware that Mobius is a simulation, and

they listen to μ’s songs way too much.

I could see people going insane and attacking each other after listening to the same song in a twenty-four hour loop in this reality, especially since each and every stage in the game has its own unique track … that is played … nonstop. I almost lost my mind at first, but thankfully, I either got used to it, or I’m actually a digihead and I’m trying to pull you into Mobius. I really did enjoy the character songs, though; they’re all produced by well-known artists such as DECO*27, Pinocchio-P, 40mP and OSTER Project, among many others, and they add a whole new layer of depth to these characters who only appear a minimum of times in the main story. I kind of wish the Go-Home Club also had character songs, but that might not make too much sense in the story, so I guess that’s something I’ll have to accept.

I have to admit, I had every intention of quitting the game and writing that it was just as good as the anime adaptation, but then I had a change of heart. I decided to give it another shot, and it was then that I discovered there was an option to join the Musicians, as I mentioned earlier. I can’t really tell you why, but playing as Lucid, the musician version of the protagonist, is very fun. Sure — the game doesn’t really change in any meaningful ways until the final battle, but between the character designs of Lucid and the other Musicians, and the fact that you can learn so much more about your supposed enemies, this addition makes that final decision weigh a lot more than it would’ve otherwise.

I won’t sugar-coat it; as much as I adore this game and its aesthetic, The Caligula Effect: Overdose is so desperate to be the next Persona that it’s practically salivating. Think about it: it’s a third-person, dungeon crawling RPG where you control students fighting back against forced they don’t understand in order to solve a prevalent mystery, and their adventures are rooted in psychological themes and motifs. There’s a social system where you can create bonds with not only your teammates, but also with all five-hundred-and-twenty-four students in the school, and as you deepen said bonds, you can help them overcome the trauma that keeps them in Mobius. Its battle system is reliant on powers your characters can only use after they’ve confronted their true selves and accepted that they want to return to reality. It’s probably not a coincidence; the writer who penned the game was Tadashi Satomi, who worked on the first three games in the Persona franchise, so that most likely explains the unnerving similarities, but I’d argue this game takes the social aspect a bit farther than its more shiny cousins.

I’ll give the social system credit where it’s due; it’s the most simple and most complex of its kind. As I said, there are five-hundred-and-twenty-four students in the school, and you’re able to not only become friends with all of them, but you can invite them into your party and fight with them in the main game if you … dislike the main cast, for some reason. It seems a bit overloaded, because the developers seem to expect the player to max out their bonds with every student in the game, but … that’s just too much to ask when some of the students seem to appear based on a random number generator. It’s almost like they wanted to incorporate a system that’d keep players engaged after the main story had concluded, but it ended up manifesting as a chore to work through. I dunno about y’all, but, when I see that there’s over five-hundred students, and I’m expected to resolve every one of their traumas, that’s where I check out. In Persona 3, 4 and 5, there were actual incentives to maxing out social links — not only did it increase your stats, but there were also less than five-hundred to complete, and they all had unique dialogue options that helped the experience feel less like a chore. As a result, you looked forward to the next chapter of each character. In this game, I’m aware that fully completing bonds does seem to improve your stats, but when the dialogue is recycled so often that I skipped a lot of it, there’s no reason for me to care about anything they’re saying. I think this concept is actually really solid, but if it’s filled to the brim with mediocrity, it’s not gonna realize its full potential. I’d love to see a game utilize the interconnected nature of its NPC cast in the same way that this game did, except there’d be more reason to go along with it.

I really have to give the game props for its intuitive battle system, as it turns the concept of being ready for anything on its head. As you engage your target, you select your given attack as you might in any ordinary JRPG, but you’re then given a chance to see what your attacks would do ahead of time, as well as adjust the timing of said attacks. It seems a tad bit like cheating the system since you can see what moves your enemy will make, and cater your turn accordingly. I must admit, however, that as unique as this prediction system is, I found myself caring about it less and less, instead opting to use the same moves over and over again. It may sound cocky to say that I knew the attacks would land, but it’s a disturbingly accurate segue to my next point.

I started my save file on ‘normal’ difficulty, but the longer I played, the more it felt like the easiest difficulty there was. I was grinding like a madman, sure, but there’s no reason the bosses of each chapter should’ve been taken out like a snap from the Infinity Gauntlet. I just expected more of a challenge from normal difficulty, that is to say, any challenge whatsoever. I thought it might pick up towards the endgame, but even the final boss was a breeze to get through. I say all this, but I know that if they were to patch in a more difficult mode like they did with Kingdom Hearts III, I would probably cry, so … I’ll leave it at that.

Here are some things you might want to keep in mind before playing The Caligula Effect: Overdose:

+ If you haven’t played The Caligula Effect, there is quite a lot added to Overdose that was not present in the original. For example, characters Eiji Biwasaka, Ayana Amamoto, Stork and Kuchinashi are all new additions with entirely new dungeons, but they’re integrated really well into the story and don’t feel like additions.

+ If you’re looking to get that sweet, sweet platinum trophy, make sure you keep up with all the character scenarios on both the Go-Home Club’s side and the Ostinato Musicians’ side. It appears that Eiji’s scenario is critically linked with Kuchinashi’s, and if you don’t complete Eiji’s by the time the story takes you to Landmark Tower, PEOPLE WILL STRAIGHT UP DIE, and you’ll be unable to complete the deceased character’s scenarios.

+ If you choose to accept Thorn’s offer to become one of the Musicians, DON’T FEEL BAD. It may start to weigh on your conscience as you betray your friends, but you’re not on the bad route by handing out with the Musicians. In fact, you’re required to max out all of the character scenarios in order to get the true ending. PLUS, if you refuse to join the Musicians, you’ll miss out on a bunch of adorkable moments involving μ, and you won’t want to miss those!

+ If you want to get the bad end, you don’t need to max anyone out — just accept Thorn’s invitation, then at the final battle, choose to stay in Mobius instead of going home, and … well, I’ll let you see for yourself.

+ I’ve heard whispers that it might not be possible to max out Ayana’s scenario unless you’re playing as a female, because of her androphobia. If you’re having issues with Ayana, maybe try again in a second playthrough.

+ If you’d like to explore Mobius a second time, there’s a New Game + option that’ll allow you to increase the enemy level en masse if you’re wanting a challenge, as well as carry over your levels and NPC bonds. It won’t, however, carry over your progress on character scenarios. You can also pick the female protagonist in a New Game +, which helps if you’d like to get that plat.

+ SAVE. SAVE. SAVE. In a game like this, you want to save every chance you get, as when your party dies, it’s lights out. There is NO autosave, NO continues. It takes you right back to the title screen, so be wary of that.

Is The Caligula Effect: Overdose a perfect game? No — not at all. BUT, is it fun? Yes. It’s a unique JRPG that uses the tried and true tropes found in many others of its kind, but at the same time, experiments with other elements of its presentation to create a memorable experience. I may not be motivated to complete the social element of the game, but I struggle to find fault in other areas, such as the character designs, the music and the overall aesthetic.

It deals with some very serious topics, such as body image issues, gender dysphoria or transgenderism, suicide and androphobia, among others, and while at times it can feel as if its poking fun at these issues, for the most part it does handle them with respect, and ultimately shows that these very human characters deal with things that humans too, often struggle with.

If you’re anything like me, you might be tempted to give up on it after the second stage and call it a day, but I implore you to be patient, as the game hits its stride in and after the third dungeon. If I had given up on it like I planned, let’s just say this review would be quite different.

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#the caligula effect #the caligula effect overdose #caligula #anime #gaming #ps4 #nis america #nisa #nippon ichi

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hxlsteads · 6 years ago

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Pairing: KJ Apa x Reader

Prompts #49 and #51: “Your lips are really warm.” and “You’ve kissed me about ten times.” “Well, how do you feel about another ten?”

“And cut!” The bellowing howl of the director echoed throughout the set space signaling much to your delight, the end the yet another long-winded; and in this case very very intense scene. Come to think of it, this shouldn’t have come to much surprise. Even in the short season you’ve spent filming this show, it was still just about enough time to become blinded by the chaos put into each and every scene.

You can’t exactly fault it though; it had its effects. I mean the show is a worldwide hit and you’re just lucky at this point to be along for the ride.

The show was everything you. The storylines, the mystery, your character, her friends... her possibly ‘more than friends’ friend.

In the most recent episodes, you found yourself thrown into filming situations you had yet to experience in your short-lived acting career. I guess the extra role in Barney didn’t give you much career preparation as you’d originally assumed. At five being on the big screen, you would’ve thought of yourself to be gold. An Oscar-winning performer with every trick in the book under your arsenal... but that just wasn’t the case.

You can remember clearly your first day on the job; a few initial welcomes followed by the revelation brought to your attention by Roberto; that throughout the season your build-up of character will lead you into the arms of another man- Archie Andrews.

You just expect that sort of thing to be awkward. Yes, on one hand, you were more than fully aware of KJ’s undeniably rugged good looks, but on the other, you barely knew this guy and you were expected to be theoretically in love with him. Besides, it was made pretty clear long before in the media that he was indeed a taken man.

The last thing you wanted was a girlfriend or ex to be treading on your toes. You felt like you had to walk on eggshells around him constantly; not knowing how awkwardly your scenes would pan out or even what his opinion on the whole ordeal was; especially after having worked so closely alongside Camila.

But that was before you knew KJ; the real him...

Once you did the rest was history. As cringy as it sounds that’s the truth. You hit it off like best friends; your individual touches of humor bouncing off one another until you were both raddled with laughter and unable to see an end. And best friends soon turned into more once he denied all dating rumors and made his highly anticipated move.

He was smooth. Eased into the relationship without going full force like a lot of men in my life tended to do. You appreciated that and you were happy. Over the moon more like. It was nice for you to finally have that someone that fills the small void left in your heart as it had shattered the last time around. You swore yourself off men until he came around and patched your thoughts up only as time progressed up until now. Filming intimate moments on screen that we had to play off as ‘acting’...

Clutching the door of my trailer you let my mind skim over the recent role you had to play and relive the moment his lips grazed yours over and over again. Your characters have kissed what... four times in total and it’s not like you haven’t outside of set but it’s just different. It’s like you can live vicariously through your on-screen relationship full well knowing your personal one is still disclosed information only known by the two of you. Feeling yourself drifting way off into the deep depths of your thoughts you sauntered in, finally twisting on your heels to shut the rest of the world away and have some much-needed downtime. ‘4am starts will forever be the death of me but it’s nothing that coffee, a nice long nap-’ you mentally scoffed before noticing the tall, clearly toned build leaning confidently against your door-frame. ‘And KJ apparently can’t fix...’ you added quickly, feeling your cheeks blush as his chocolate brown gaze burrowed deeply into your own stare.

“You going to invite me in aye?” He spoke; his accent running thick through his words leaving you slightly weak at the knees. Even through teasing, his accent will be an entirely long weakness in your eyes.

“Maybe... But you’ll have to know the password.” you retorted, witnessing as his cheeks grew fuller and a signature grin soon appeared on his face.

“That’s easy. KJ is daddy.”

You couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape your lips as you recalled the countless times you’ve been asked in the past whether you thought KJ was the ‘daddiest of the group’. You shifted your body to the side as you nodded your head to signal his ability to enter which he promptly accepted. “Make yourself at home, I guess,” you muttered, reaching instantly for your phone the second you heard the affirmative click of the door shutting.

You scrolled through the almost endless amount of notifications plastered across your lock screen forgetting instantly about the other figure lingering in the room. Unintentional at first but you became too caught up in the unread messages and emails which all had to clearly be paid close attention to. As your eyes darted through the different applications listed with notifications; I mean seriously how many alerts do I need telling me ‘colesprouse has posted a photo.’, your glance briefly scanned two text messages, one from Cami alongside another from your mom asking you to ‘call her as soon as you’re free’. You just about had enough time to process that... nothing more, on the other hand.

I guess it’s just that hard to remain focused when the most recent biggest distraction in your life is conveniently placed right ahead of your now lifted eyeline, shirtless with small beads of sweat dripping perfectly down each crevasse and indent marked across his herculean chest...

‘What are you trying to do Apa? Seduce me, huh?” you jerked, stepping closer to his body- furthermore regretting your decision as the heat from his skin transfers across to yours in a split second.

“Maybe.” He grinned as he placed his hand against your cheek to allow his fingers to cascade smoothly down to your chin. God, this man... his touch drove you mad at this point. This was only heightened as he let out a soft sigh, “This is one of the only times since we’ve been together that we’ve got some alone time. So forgive me, babe, if I want to play mission impossible and steal my girl from the cast for a few minutes.”

‘My girl’.

You kept playing those exact words in your head on repeat. Like a broken record that had no physical end. But you didn’t want it to end... ever! It was just something you never quite imagined rolling off his lips so effortlessly. “You got me good Kage, but thinking logically you love sleep just as much as I do and you’ve kissed me about ten times in what, the past hour?”

“Well, how do you feel about another ten aye?” His voice was gravelly, longing for the indication on my behalf for a pure recreation of the endless kisses delivered in our last scene. Except this is far from acting now. The darkness that had flushed over his glassed orbs a tell-tale sign he wouldn’t be leaving this trailer without stealing yet another kiss-off of you. Not that you oppose of that idea but he’s getting it too easy nowadays.

Although in reality, he is hard to resist... just look at him.

“Honestly you are going to be the death of me KJ Apa. But then again your lips are really warm and outside is very very cold,” you spoke with a slight giggle lacing your diction as you once again shifted your bodies closer to one another. When someone says the phrase ‘fingertips away’ I can assure you this is exactly what that looks like. Your bodies millimeters from colliding. No longer being able to resist the force held between you, you traced your fingertips up the centre of his abs, immediately sensing his warmth grow and a clear rush of crimson attack his cheeks as you whispered a faint, “and this body doesn’t exactly help keep our secret on set either by the way.”

Within a matter of mere seconds, your lips collide in an urgent yet at the same time, gentle compassion. You smiled into the kiss, feeling all the stress surrounding your job melt away as KJ ran his hands further up your spine until his fingers interlaced within your slightly knotted hair. “Best. Kisser. Ever.” he breathed out releasing the kiss that had grown increasingly sloppier by the second.

“Hmm I could say the-” You began yet your words were instantly drawn to a direct halt as you heard the slight click of the door before the disgruntled moans you could already distinguish as your close friends pierce the small bubble held around you two lovebirds.

“Oh wow. Totally wasn’t expecting to see this today. Woah, oh jeez.” Madelaine practically screamed as you placed a hand of KJ’s chest to push his body subtly away from your own.

“Oh please, I saw it coming from a mile away. Preferably didn’t want that mile to be right in your trailer when I specifically told you I’d be coming here after filming but to each their own.” Cami spoke as I shifted my gaze her direction soon noticing a large array of different cast members stood closely behind. “Damn it’s hot in here... How long has this arrangement been going on then lovebirds?”

As soon as she finished speaking both you and KJ turned to each other seeking the correct answer to an almost impossible question. ‘God why did I not read her message’ you scolded yourself whilst firmly biting your lip, knowing now you’d made things all to obvious.

“I am living for this! I think you two have some explaining to do.” Cami winked and you couldn’t help but feel a tad embarrassed. I mean after all, this was not even close to the way you’d planned on informing your friends of your new-found relationship...

“I guess we do.”

A/N - Right my first KJ request done! I really don’t know how I feel this turned out. I’m not really confident in my writing currently but hope to get it better; just let me know what you guys thought! I honestly love KJ so if you have any more requests please feel free to send them in. P.S sorry, I queued it to post but it never did yesterday ahahah. Thank you!! x x

#kj apa #kj apa x reader #kj apa imagine #kj apa oneshot #kj apa oneshots #kj apa x oc #archie andrews #archie andrews x reader #archie andrews imagine #archie andrews oneshot #kj apa imagines #riverdale #riverdale imagine #riverdale x reader

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boosamayla-blog · 5 years ago

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Fifty Facts About Me.

I was challenged by a dear friend to list the 50 facts about me that would entice my reader (singular, coz i only have one reader and bet she was the who challenged me. HARHAR! ) . Anyway, whoever read this stuff and wanted to know me more. Pm is the key. And oh! By the way. Im not selling myself. The objective of this is pure genuine at the same time spreading awareness of being so true in social media. I may not disclosing everything here due to the limitation of 50 but what you have read is pure facts about me. So lets categorize to what I believed in down to what I like and so on. Because you are reading this, you have no choice but to read all. You dont want to feel lacking right? Hahaha. Kidding! So lets start!

1. I am a dreamer and a believer.

2. I believe I can make my life beautiful.

3. I believe in Law of attraction, that the universe will conspire because I believe. Thus, I always believed in devine timing.

4. I believe that I am not perfect and need of constant grow.

5. I believe that God has an exciting vision for my life.

6. I believe in growing in wisdom each day. The reason why I really love to talk to people who are already living my dreams.

7. I believe in daily prayer.

8. I believe in LOVE. Love is the most powerful force and the universal language that everyone can understand. And the true purpose of wealth is love.

9. I believe that to prosper my life is to serve people with purpose because for me relationship defined success.

10. I believe that God created me in his Image.

11. I am a sinner. I wont deny that. Haha

12. I am an insensitive person. Unless you let me aware what you want and your emotions.

13. I am subclinically narcisistic. Hahaha. Okay. I love myself more than anything else. Ill save myself first. Its not selfish its self love.

14. I am not physically gifted but I always believed that I am beautiful.

15. Im not a rice eater, Filipinos are rice eater but not this princess. 😌

16. I am so friendly, clingy and touchy, if you are always with me and you're a guy? Probably you interpret the whole action thing into something romance. Aw. Hahaha

17. I am always with the boys because boys are less drama. But that doesn't mean we do not talk, we just dont talk crappy things like girls do.

18. I am a slow eater. Give me plenty of time to eat if youre with me. 😂

19. I love to take risk especially if I am certain to the consequences. So that means I am so careful with my actions. ��

20. But this risk taker is afraid of unknown. Weird right? Anyway, sometimes we are driven by fear. Fear exist because we are human.

21. I am a life coach and a mental health advocate. One of the reasons of keeping myself on grounds.

22. I am very explorative. I explore things even if it is under the sun. Aw. Hahaha

23. I love nature. I am inclined to nature. I love misty greens.

24. And oh, i love to be on top always. Im talking about mountains. But I like what you are thinking. Hahahaha.

25. I am against of same sex marriage. But I am not against of same sex couple. No prejudice action to that. To whatever opinions/ facts you are feeding me just to say Yes. My answer is still the same. I have my reasons for that. 😛

26. I dont know how to express my anger. All i know is silent. So if I am silent because of your action then thats it.

27. My fave sport is soccer. Im a soccer player when I was in college. By the way, Im the star player. 😉

28. I am Psychology graduate, now currently taking my masters. And its worth the penny. A good investment.

29. My deepest desire is to write a book. Crossfinger to that. Maybe about mental health. 🤞

30. I am the only one who graduated in college among my five sibs. So fucking proud of it.

31. I am not single but not yet married. Hoping to be single

Aw hahaha. I will regret this statement for sure. But thats actually my want right now. This might be a temporary thoughts of mine.

32. I never had a chance to experience on being alone after I graduated high school. I met my boyfriend like after my graduation. So, we're dugay na. I love him but i wanted to try and feel whats being in a single mode.

33. My comfort foods are pizza and fries but I deprived myself on eating fastfood nowadays. Sadly, they are part of it. 😭

35. I love cardio. I love running, walking and hiking.

36. Mountains are my frenemy. 😂😂.

37. I love surplus clothes. They call it ukay2x. The good thing about is your clothes are rare to find. Hahah so you dont have the same style. 😂 Just make sure you wash it properly.

38. I rarely buy stuff from shopping malls. But i love to do window shopping. The feeling of touching stuff you like is very satisfying. My therapy by the way. Haha.

39. I am attracted to a guys who is very intellectual and have a sense and not awkward to talk to.

40. Physically, I am attracted to tall and neat guys.

41. I love watches. I dont know why. So if you want to give something special to me. Then watch is reccommended. Hahhahaha. Watch! Watch!

42. I am a learned woman. Before I am confused and bullshit.

43. Petpeeve: seeing rice morsel anywhere in your mouth area. Oh my God! Im gonna die. Like i feel uneasy and irritated. Why would a guy/ gal eat that way? Writing this down feels like my nerves are burning. 🤮😖😤😢😵😱😠 these emoji will explain my emotions right now.

44. Im starting my side hustle right now. Business business! I sell water and perfume. So buy na. 😜😜

44. I watch FRIENDS series for like 12 times. Im so fucking obsess with it. The vibes brought by the team is inexplicable.

45. Second to my fave is Game of thrones. Still Robb Stark is my favorite. Although he died early in the show. Poor Robb Stark.

46. My favorite past time aside hustling my phone is reading books. Ill make sure all my books will be read. Hahaha. Im halfway of my books.

47. And oh. I dont like long hair. I like maintaining my short hair.

48. Driven: a project to be realize with my friend. Another cross finger. 🤞🙏🙏

49. I am once in love and broken. 😭😭😭😭 Hugs!

50. I am now living with the four agreement of life: I always make sure that I am impeccable with my words, i dont take anything personally, I dont make assumptions and I always do my best.

So thats it. Thats me. Some arent mention due to privacy purposes. Its okay to disclose things in social media just make sure that in every stuff youve shared is being process and you are certain. Thank you. Hope ya like it. Id love to read yours too!

-Emilyworlds-stuff/ May2019

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werevulvi · 6 years ago

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I recently made a post saying I'm radfem now. So I thought perhaps I should adress that in a bit more detail. I'll try to not make this post several years long, but it's unavoidably gonna be a big post. This is to give a rough overview of my opinions, for anyone interested in knowing that.

The points I bring up, in the following order: - Patriarchy/oppression of women and girls - Gender/sex - Transgender - Femininity - Sexuality - Female only spaces - Porn industry - Prostitution - BDSM - Reproductive rights and women's rights in general - End notes/wrap up

Patriarchy/oppression of women and girls So I used to be an anti-feminist MRA and thus I didn't believe patriarchy was a thing. It took me a long while and lots of research and observing to see the fault in my ways. Admittedly, I was wrong, and now I know better. Also worth mentioning is the reason I found my way into radfem was because with my detransition I became increasingly gender critical, so if I focus extra on gender/sex opinions that's why.

Gender/sex Women and girls are oppressed in the world because of their sex, and it has nothing to do with "gender identity" and you can't opt out of oppression by transitioning or calling yourself another gender. Gender is a social construct and is just masculinity and femininity, including personality traits that can be called such. Anyone can be masculine or feminine and it doesn't make them the opposite sex or "not real" men/women. Male/female brains is not a thing. You are the sex you were born as. Woman just means adult human female and man just means adult human male.

Transgender Having dysphoria often tells people who have it that them wanting for their bodies to be of the opposite sex is what makes them, on some psychological level, of that sex. Conforming to the gender roles of the opposite sex often alleviates dysphoria cause it helps with passing, but few trans people think that the gender roles is what makes them men/women. It's just a tool to deal with dysphoria. Trans people should absolutely get the medical treatments available for their dysphoria for those who want that. Out of politeness and caring about their dysphoria, I usually refer to trans men as men and use he/him pronouns, etc, and vice versa for trans women. And on occasion I use the word "cis" to refer to people who are not trans but I don't agree with the term. I only ever use it for simplicity and in its simple meaning "not transgender" but I try to avoid it.

Femininity My stance on this might differ from other radfems but what I do definitely agree on here is that it should NOT be forced upon women/girls in society like it clearly is. I appall that and it should not happen. I also see there are lots of harmful stuff about modern femininity that also should be scrutinised. However, I think that femininity at its core can be good if you just know what you're doing, and I think especially femme lesbians seem to have a pretty good grip on that, not just myself. I think very critically about it and do encourage others to do too. I want to eradicate the forcing of femininity and its harmful aspects - but not the femininity itself. And that's actually NOT because I love being femme: it's because I was coerced to be masculine as a child, and that not only harmed me, but also made me realise and understand that femininity is a genuine and essential form of expression for my artistic mind. So, I think I do have pretty good reasons for having the views that I have on that point.

Sexuality Sexual attraction/orientation is sex-based not gender-based. Lesbians are not attracted to males/penis and gay men are not attracted to females/vagina. It's important that definition does not get changed by the trans movement and anyone thinking it's "no big deal" or think that it should be changed is a homophobe. Any male trying to force dick upon lesbians is a horribly gross lesbophobe and no it doesn't make it any better if it's a trans woman. It's very much like just another form of conversion therapy and should not be tolerated. I'm a lesbian, so it matters to me a lot. And on that point I also stand in solidarity with gay men who get to face the same crap from females/trans men. However, I'm half-okay with trans women just calling themselves lesbians as long as they can behave themselves and know they're not actual homosexual females, and vice versa for male-attracted trans men calling themselves gay. Again only because of their dysphoria, and only if they're not acting like homophobes. I'm however NOT okay with trans women invading lesbian spaces, but I'll get back to that point in a bit.

Also I'm really strongly against trans people not disclosing being trans to sex partners. Doesn't matter if they're pre- or post-op or how well they're passing. Trans feeling DON'T get to override "cis" feelings. That might not be a super specific radfem point but I notice transmeds vehemently disagree with me on that point, and it just comes across as very entitled, so yeah.

Female only spaces Are and should be for biological females only. Although I'm slightly lenient on trans women using women's bathrooms because in my own country it doesn't seem to be an issue of men abusing that loophole, but I'm NOT fine with any males using women's locker rooms, abuse victims' support groups, abuse shelters, lesbian spaces, etc. Women need our own spaces away from the male oppressors. And as a survivor or sexual assault and rape who's kinda scared of men, I do very much understand that need. Even though I look too ambiguous due to my ftm transition to get any sort of access to women only spaces, aside from bathrooms, apparently. That's my own fault though, isn't it?

Porn industry Absolutely disgusting, what the hell is going on there?! Kind of. Women and girls are being badly hurt there and it needs to stop. I don't care if that means no one ever gets to ever have porn to watch, people's safety is more important than other people just wanting something sexy to watch. Men's violence on women (in general) is being perpetuated by porn teaching them that women are objects and only there for men's sexual pleasure. And I'm pretty sure it even exacerbated my own internalised misogyny in the past when I was watching a lot of porn and searched for the worst of it. I no longer want to support the porn industry in any way. I made the decision, few weeks ago, to stop watching porn completely and so far so good, although I was close to giving into it a few days ago but didn't. I've got this.

Prostitution I used to want to become a prostitute, actually. Before I came to my senses on that point and realised it was just my traumas speaking for me again. I no longer want that at all, and it makes me feel sick to just think of it. But I read up on it a lot back then. I understand that the entire "sex industry" is directly harmful to the women in it and indirectly harmful to women not in it. I'm all for doing whatever we can to stop it. However, since I read up on it in the past, I'm kinda skeptical that the Nordic Model would be a good solution. It has a lot of issues. As I'm living in a country that has that model implemented (Sweden) and I know that there is a lot of hidden trafficking going on here that cannot be spotted or caught due to the faults of the Nordic Model. According to my own (possibly flawed) research the Australian Model seems to be better at both catching trafficking and making prostitution in general less dangerous for those involved, but by no means is that a perfect model either. I need to learn more about this perhaps, but at the end of the day I'm 100% against any form of prostitution existing.

BDSM I used to be into bdsm and didn't want to see that it's harmful, and basically just a "socially accepted" form of abuse. I used to be into "rapeplay" and a lot of humiliating kinks as the submissive because it let me "repeat" my past traumas. Along with my realisation that I'm a lesbian, I also finally understood the true depth of my traumas and no longer want to engage in anything bdsm or kinks. That has no place in my life anymore. It just kept damaging me more when I needed to heal. That made me understand that there's still abuse involved in bdsm even though it's "consensual" cause how can you make an informed consent to something you don't understand is gonna harm you?

Reproductive rights and women's rights in general I guess this covers the whole "bodily autonomy" thing and I include anything from being able to get birth control and abortions to stopping fgm and child marriages, and much more, in this category. I dunno really what to say here other than of course women and young girls being treated as cattle, abused, mutilated, raped, forced to give birth, forced to marry, etc are very important issues that need to be fixed and that asap. I'd even say such things matter the most to me when it comes to women's rights: having the right to one's own body from the moment that any female human is born. But also, reading up on those really heavy topics gets to me so bad I can't manage it. I get really bad panic attacks and just start sobbing uncontrollably. So for the sake of my own mental health, that's why I don't reblog much of that. But please believe me that is still very important stuff to highlight, talk about and get to the bottom of.

End notes/wrap up All of this and more really stems from the systematic oppression that women are constantly kept under, and I see that "red thread" connecting all these issues to that root. We need to get to the core of those problems (and many more that I didn't bring up here) which is men in general oppressing women in general. So that got me back to where I started, patriarchy. That's a nice wrap up, I think. I tried hard to not make this into a gigantic post, so that's why I left out a lot of details, explanations, my own personal experiences that led me to my opinions, etc. And yes, it's absolutely fine to ask me about my opinions on any of these things, and call me out (preferably with an explanation) if you think it's horse shit and I'll look into it.

#personal #my radfem views #i know its not super comprehensive but i aint got all night #still new to this #and still learning #im a get shit for my views on trans i think but im too fucked up to care anymore

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chibimyumi · 6 years ago

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Omoshii Interview - Furukawa Yuta - TotC

Original article

“I approached [the musical] with the wish to show the audience my greatest accomplishment as Sebastian” ‘Musical “Black Butler”’ Interview with Mr. Furukawa Yuta.

Q: Mr. Furukawa, this is the third time you took up the role of Sebastian. What is the significance of playing Sebastian to you personally?

A: He taught me a lot. It was through Sebastian that I experienced being a troupe lead to a large group, as well as getting to feel the heavy responsibility that comes with such a popular franchise. Further, it sprouted awareness for leadership in me. It made me think about just how much energy [leadership] requires, and with what mind-set one is supposed to face the rehearsals. Until now, all I could do was think about myself only, but I came to believe that is not right. I’m 30 after all (laughs), it is an age where I need to look around myself carefully, and it was through this that I gained the experience of supporting others too for a change. The role of Sebastian is very charming on its own and inflames one’s imagination. Even when you think you have an answer, there will still be so much more to explore that remains. I have had some time to think about this role, and I managed to gain a lot of experience that I never could before I played Sebastian. I really learned so much through Sebastian.

Q: At present, there exist a lot of works known as ‘2.5D Musicals’. However, I think that the ‘Musical “Black Butler”’ series has distinguished itself splendidly from others. All while faithfully expressing the drama of the original works, the entertainment value is also very high. It is a production that deserves a place of its own in my opinion.

A: I am so happy to receive such praise. I think everyone involved [in this production] would be very glad to hear this too. It’s not about how one thing looks in comparison to another, but I am just so happy to receive such a feedback, I love this franchise so much.

Q: What is it like for you to look back at ‘Musical “Black Butler” – Tango on the Campania –’ that is now getting a DVD?

A: Well. The ‘Luxury Liner Arc’ is one that is something of a climax in the original comics. [The musical] was filled with extravagant and excitable scenes, and to me personally, with my third time, I approached it with the wish to show the audience my greatest accomplishment as Sebastian.

Q: In portraying the luxury liner, all without depending on CG, the large ensemble-cast managed to inflame one’s imagination at creating a production worthy of theatre. It sure was a splendid performance, wasn’t it?

A: It sure was. The stage set was gorgeous, and Grell (Mr. Uehara Takuya), Druitt (Mr. Sasaki Yoshihide) and the Undertaker (Mr. Izumi Shuhei) all made their extravagant entrances. The cast, ensemble members and the staff were all specialists in my opinion. Everyone worked so hard, so seriously. They were so reliable.

Q: The current work had the scene of the Cinematic Record which disclosed Sebastian’s past that was not disclosed before. Surely this was a production that was very important to you as Sebastian?

A: More than that the story that goes deeply into Sebastian, it felt more like he is a lead role of the shadows. This time round however, he is involved in a mystery case, has highlight scenes as well as getting his past disclosed. He finally became ‘Black Butler’s’ main character, did he not?

Q: By the third year.

A: Yes (laughs)

Q: Mr. Uchikawa Reo reprised his role as Ciel, the master Sebastian serves as butler. Did anything change between you and Mr. Uchikawa’s relationship?

A: Yes. I am very close with Reo, and he is still so very cute. However, we came to be able to talk about work more deeply. We do not fight or anything, but there were times I thought: ‘Ah, he’s rebelling against me,” even when he did not say so. By that, I mean that he does not act exactly as I tell him to, but that he thinks about stuff and acts accordingly. That is something absolutely vital in my opinion. That is why I found it very important to discuss things with him. I think our relationship deepened since last time, and that was probably well reflected in our Sebastian and Ciel.

Q: Then, what is it like for you looking back at the three productions you have been part of, Mr. Furukawa? First of all, you were first starred in 2015. What is ‘The Lycoris that Blazes the Earth 2015’ to you, which portrayed the Jack the Ripper case?

A: It was awfully trying…… (laughs). Of course all three were awfully trying to me, but Lycoris was by far the worst. Be it on the physical aspect, or the everyday-life at the rehearsals, pained by having to shoulder such a heavy burden for the first time. Every day I struggled and struggled, just to get by. I also got some food-culture-shock from the overseas-performances.

Q: Was Chinese cuisine very different?

A: It was. I was able to try all sorts of dishes, and all were very refreshing. “Eat well and give it your all” is something my mother told me again and again, which is why I made sure to eat lots and faced the performances. I realised anew just how important this message was my mother gave me.

Q: What a splendid mother you have. Thus, the first time for you to star in a new production was ‘NOAH’S ARK CIRCUS’. It tells the story of Sebastian and Ciel infiltrating the mysterious travelling circus troupe. Dark themed stories such as the ‘Circus Arc’ are especially popular within ‘Black Butler’. What was it like to you?

A: The atmosphere was quite different from the previous work, Lycoris, and the suffocating finale makes one think “this is ‘Black Butler’ for you, after all”. Aspects of pop and various characters make their entrances in Circus, but the theme portrayed was especially heavy. The music for the ‘Circus Arc’ was done by JPOP composer Mr. Wada Shunsuke, I thought that the extravaganza that is characteristic of a circus was well expressed through the music’s pop-ness.

Q: And finally, the current production, the ‘Luxury Liner Arc’, adds perfectly to the line-up of the three works, doesn’t it?

A: It sure does. Seeing what they have read in the comics on stage is probably exactly what the fans of the original comics want. I think the main pleasure of 2.5D is that one can see the world of ‘Black Butler’ faithfully represented right in front of their eyes. I feel so blessed that I am allowed to play these three arcs of the comics.

Q: What would you say is the charm of ‘Black Butler’ that you have come to understand after playing [herein].

A: I think it’s the aspect that [‘Black Butler’] portrays both human good and evil. It is Sebastian who, from above, objectively looks at [this good and evil], and Ciel who crawls up from the very bottom. The human strength of struggling and rising up from their destiny is the foundation of this series in my opinion. It really has a story that invites all, regardless of age and gender.

Q: What is the thing you wish for the fans who have bought the Blu-ray & DVD of ‘Musical “Black Butler” – Tango on the Campania –’ to enjoy most?

A: For the spectators who will be seeing the [musical] for the first time, I think they will be able to experience the charm that is similar to the live experience. The DVD staff has poured in all their love, and the camera work and the editing are very well done as well. When I was watching the footage, I really felt that they managed to capture what I tried to express. As for the fans who have already seen [the musical] live, I think they will be able to enjoy are more realistic level of emotions and the details.

#Furukawa Yuta #Interview #English #Translation #Tango on the Campania #kuroshitsu #kuromyu #Black Butler #Musical #Sebastian Michaelis #Omoshii #He is SO humble #UGH #Please buy the DVD!#Or the BD #And what do you mean you could only think about yourself?#lil' liar

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megabestpillows-blog · 6 years ago

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If Your Boyfriend Does These 8 Things, He's In Love With You

Beginning to look all starry eyed at is a lovely thing. Be that as it may, it can likewise cause you bit of pressure. You need to give yourself a chance to fall, yet there's one inquiry keeping you down: Does your accomplice adore you?

At some point, you may figure out how to cherish sacrificially. You may figure out how to cherish without requiring that adoration to be responded. All things considered, you don't love since you're adored; you cherish in light of the fact that you trust that another person has the right to be cherished. Furthermore, being meriting love doesn't really mean giving it consequently.

In any case, it's anything but difficult to fear adoring somebody who doesn't love you back. You're apprehensive about getting injured. What's more, that is nothing unexpected, particularly if it's the first occasion when you've cherished. To the extent adoring a lady goes, it's really simple to tell when she cherishes you back. I don't know whether ladies are better at cherishing or only more terrible at keeping it covered up.

Men, then again, are instructed to conceal their feelings. They're informed that feeling is an indication of shortcoming. Furthermore, along these lines, they have a troublesome time tolerating feelings for what they are. Notwithstanding when men do acknowledge how they believe, they remain quiet about it. I'm certain ladies locate this incensing.

In any case, since he's never disclosed to you that he cherishes you doesn't imply that he doesn't love you. With regards to men, activities truly do talk more intense than words. On the off chance that your sweetheart does these 8 things, you can rest guaranteed that he adores you:

1. HE SENDS YOU A MESSAGE ALMOST EVERY MORNING.

At the point when the primary idea he has in the first part of the day is you, that is the point at which you realize that he's enamored.

Love is a type of fixation - it very well may be extremely solid and staggeringly fulfilling. When you've invaded his mind to the point that he awakens considering you, that is the point at which you realize you have him. Obviously, not all folks are open about the manner in which they feel - some are notwithstanding doing their best to fight the temptation to get in touch with you and wish you a hello.

In any case, when you're infatuated, you have just so much discretion. Indeed, even the most grounded willed man will break a couple of times each week and demonstrate to you that you're his shortcoming.

2. HE CHECKS UP ON YOU RANDOMLY JUST TO SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING.

Individuals - the two people - are egocentric creatures. Ladies do tend to be all the more giving and minding, however as a rule, we're our own most loved individuals.

Until, that is, we experience passionate feelings for.

When you become hopelessly enamored, you start to mind the same amount of about this other individual as you do yourself. Men can be particularly entertaining with regards to looking up their lady friends … some will attempt and play it off as though they couldn't care less as much as they truly do (we can be senseless like that), yet on the off chance that he's hitting you up different times each week, for apparently no reason by any means, that is the point at which you realize he's snared.

3. HE DOESN'T MIND GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER.

You know how a lady will regularly gripe about her better half being languid and not having any desire to assist? All things considered, she's solitary griping in light of the fact that, sometime in the distant past, that equivalent man made a special effort to make her life simpler. He used to burden himself just to enable her to out. He would choose up from his way when she required a ride. He went to the store and got whatever she required without her asking or contend with him. He wouldn't fret being more regrettable off as long as she was in an ideal situation.

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On the off chance that that is your sweetheart, at that point chances are he adores you. How would you shield him from transforming into a sluggish spouse, you inquire? All things considered, how about we leave that for another article.

4. HE LIGHTS UP WHEN HE SEES YOU.

Love is bliss. Love is delight. Love is a mind loaded up with incredible recollections and musings of a brilliant future together. You can't in any way, shape or form have all that at the forefront of your thoughts and not grin.

In the event that he smiles from ear to ear - if his eyes light up at seeing you - he's enamored with you. On the off chance that he adores you, you'll get pretty much the majority of his consideration.

5. HE ASKS YOU ABOUT YOUR DAY, AND THEN HE ACTUALLY LISTENS.

I was infatuated and thinking such a great amount about my ex's day that I even needed to recognize what she ate (to ensure she was remaining sound). That is love.

At the point when your man thinks about you so much that he needs to realize what's happening in your life - in the best of subtleties - needs to comprehend what you did, what you saw, how you succeeded and fizzled, the undertakings that you went on, he cherishes you. He needs to think about your day since he needs to be a piece of it somehow or another or another - despite the fact that he wasn't there close by to really encounter it.

6. HE ASKS YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.

What's more, this isn't simply so you have an inclination that you're giving your two pennies. He needs to know your contemplations on the issue since he esteems your feeling. He esteems the manner in which that you see the world and needs to ensure that his life lines up with yours however much as could reasonably be expected.

At the point when a man cherishes you, he needs your contribution on his life in light of the fact that - possibly without knowing it - he is attempting to combine his with yours. Furthermore, what preferable route over to begin seeing the world through your eyes?

7. HE GIVES YOU THE BETTER PILLOW.

He gives you the side of the bed you like to rest on, despite the fact that it's a similar side he jumps at the chance to rest on. He gives you the greater portion of the sandwich, the last chomp of cake, the cinema situate nearer to the inside. He gives you the better half since he trusts that you are his significant other.

As children, pretty much we all were instructed to share. Be that as it may, this isn't simply sharing; this is giving. To him, giving you more is only equivalent to in the event that he were taking more himself. It's better, even, in light of the fact that it makes him significantly more joyful.

8. HE PROTECTS YOU. Or then again, AT THE VERY LEAST, HE TRIES.

He strolls outwardly of the walkway, in such a case that a vehicle were to swerve, he would get hit rather than you. He sustains you. He determines the status of you. He is dependably there when you're feeling down or sickly.

At the point when a man thinks about you superior to anything he thinks about himself, he cherishes you. He may not be a warrior, however observing you in threat flips a switch. He abandons a teddy bear to a grizzly in zero seconds level.

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veridium · 6 years ago

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oc interview meme

I was tagged by the lovely @trvelyans to write a hypothetical interview of one of my OC’s! So, I did everybody’s favorite ice-haired toasted cinnamon roll, Theia!

1. What is your name?

“I have a lot of names nowadays, I suppose. Inquisitor, Herald of Andraste, Your Worship. Maker, someone called me “Sarah” the other day, and I didn’t correct them. I suppose that says something about how jaded I’ve become with all my misnomers.“

2. What is your real name?

“What, not Goddess? Well, if you were to ask my Father, it would be Theia Sofia Trevelyan. I was given the prettiest name out of all three children, I should add.“

3. Do you know why you were called that?

“The name “Theia” means “holy,” an adjective my family is particularly fond of, as I’m sure their reputation entails. My middle name “Sofia” means wisdom, so quite literally, my parents wished to imbue me with “holy wisdom.” Maker’s breath, isn’t that some sick joke now?“

4. Are you single or taken?

“My occupation would insist single, the gossip would say taken many times and by many people. But, the truth? Hopelessly taken by one remarkable woman. Please tell her I said that, so she’s softened up when I tell her I ate the last piece of peanut brittle.“

5. Have any abilities or powers?

“Are you joking? Who doesn’t know the answer to that question after all I’ve been through. You cannot hide the fact that your body is a walking lightning rod when it’s gotten you in and out of the Fade twice, closed a Breach in the sky, and survived weaponized time magic.

But, for the sake of not sounding egotistical, yes, I do. I am a Mage who focuses on ice and storm abilities. I also have this most inconvenient mark on my hand that is embedded elven magic. Try bringing that up casually at parties.“

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“It isn’t “being” anything if you’re honestly that good.“

7. What’s your eye color?

“Purple. Yes, purple. It’s a maternal trait that just happened to match with my powers. People think I’m so fashionable but I really could not help it.”

8. How about your hair color?

“Ice white, pale blonde? I switch between the two. Regardless of its category, it’s rather hard not to point out in a crowd. Another one of my family’s most generous gifts.“

9. Have you any family members?

“For better or worse, yes. My parents, though my Mother, Stefania Lisoleth Trevelyan -- Maker, she sounds as pompous as she was in real life -- has since passed. My Father, Tristian Trevelyan, still resides in the Free Marches. There’s my insufferable brother who is his namesake. My sister, Lucilla Victoire, is older and married to some nobleman I haven’t cared enough to get to know. You can spot us rather quickly, we’re the group of emotionally suppressed faces with icey hair.“

10. Oh? What about pets?

“I have a small cat whom I rescued from Crestwood. She is young and tabby in color, and I just adore her! I wish I was here more to actually bond with her. She wanders Skyhold rather freely, much to everyone’s chagrin. Her name is Obsidian, after the kinds of metals we found in Crestwood. I call her “Sid” for short.“

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

“If Ambassador Montilyet were to hear someone actually asked me to list out my dislikes, she’d be furious. I am rather obnoxious with my opinions. I dislike pretentiousness, disloyalty, and shallowness. So, perhaps I should say the vast majority of the Orlesian Empire.“

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

“Reading, practicing my magic, and provoking Josephine’s temper. I do not have the time for much else, these days.”

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“Oh, plenty, yes. Pick a more specific category.”

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“Are you joking, again? I swear you must be. If you must know, you can read whatever filthy periodical is making rounds in the towns and villages of Orlais.”

15. What kind of animal are you?

“This would be a fantastic question for Morrigan, I’d imagine. But as for me, I don’t shapeshift or liken myself to animals. Although, people suggest I look rather animalistic when I am in the heat of combat.”

16. Name your worst habits.

“I am very self-conscious and insecure at times. I take things personally, and I feel culpable when there is injustice. Though, I do not necessarily see that as a flaw all of the time. Plus, in this role I’m in, I feel it to be most fitting.”

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“Of course I do! After all, both the Hero of Fereldan and the Champion of Kirkwall are Mages, and women, for that matter. I would be foolish not to have admiration for them, and feel humbled in my own shoes. I also have quite a bit of respect for Cassandra and Leliana. They have stewarded this movement with courage and resolve in spades. I consider myself honored to be able to work with them and be a leader amongst their ranks.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

*A whole minute of feisty, jubilant laughter*

19. Do you go to school?

“I used to, if you’d call a Circle that. Most would say “formal blood-bath with books,” but, there you go.”

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“I didn’t used to, but then I met someone who sold me on such dreams. While I do not really allow myself to aspire to such domestic joys, I do find that they have grown on me as ideals. However, Josephine and I are two women who do not know how to keep ourselves out of work or trouble. But, if I were honest, I’d marry her tomorrow if given the chance.”

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

I try my best to be a combination of intimidating and austere, but, I do have a following. Mostly of children, actually, especially the children of the Mages here. They scarcely have examples of Mages who are not demonized or erased from history, so, when they see us walking the halls or grounds, it’s like storybook characters come to life for them. I take pleasure in providing them with someone to look up to, even when I feel that I fail them sometimes.

As for the adults, I would not wish to condescend and call them my fans, since they are putting their lives and livelihoods on the line for this cause. Especially those who joined us in Haven, when we had next to nothing. If anything, I am their fan.

22. What are you most scared of?

“Letting everyone down, and proving to be less than the person who was needed. Losing the people I love, or endangering them unnecessarily. Being a fraud or imposter. Oh, and accidentally throwing out Josephine's stash of chocolates.”

23. What do you usually wear?

“I prefer a good fit of a hunter coat and breeches and some boots. When we travel, I am usually armored very well. On my off hours, a simple night dress would do. People say I have a flare for style, but, I am really just a product of my short-lived upbringing in the Free Marches. Women there are always smartly dressed, if not modest.”

24. Do you love someone?

“Romantically? Yes, completely. But I also love my friends, and my community here. Love, to me, is a protective and honorable virtue. The way I fight for what matters is by loving the person or the cause at hand. Perhaps that causes me more trouble than it’s worth, but, that is who I am.”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

“How can you honestly expect me to answer that? Also, if you’ve ever asked someone who bleeds once a month, you’d be surprised.”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“Oh, joy.”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“My family is noble in our region, so I would say lower rung of the high class. The Free Marches is a self-governing province, at least, as much as one can be in the shadow of two Empires. If you have an long-winded ancestry in the region, you’re allowed a lot of privileges.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“Too many, especially the kind that likes to get into trouble for the sake of being a hero. You need some friends? Take mine, and give me a break.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Mediocre at best. You want a pleasurable dessert experience? Go with cake, always.”

30. Favorite drink?

“Tea, actually. I drink copious amounts of wine, sure, but nothing soothes the soul like a good cup of tea. Solas and I have engaged in discourse about this matter plenty of times.”

31. What’s your favorite place?

“If I were to answer that honestly, Josephine would have my clothes set on fire. Something about “not disclosing the intimate nature of a Diplomat’s life” or whatever. So, I will name my second favorite: the Emerald Graves at dawn, when the colors of the sky foreground the greens and blues on the land. It’s stunning, really. I hope I can commission a painter to recreate it so that I may have a piece of it forever.”

32. Are you interested in someone?

“Hah, as Dorian would say, yes of course, I am a endlessly interesting person, after all.”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

“Enough. They’re enough.”

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“Swimming in an ocean? The thought of it brings me ecstasy! Ocean, of course. Imagine the trouble I could get into, maybe make a few glaciers, float on an ice sheet...nevermind.”

35. What’s your type?

“Someone with the utmost integrity in their deeds, who has a golden heart and knows that kindness and compassion are two of the most powerful elements in the world. Also, if they are a fiery-tongued Antivan, that melts my icey heart, too.”

36. Any fetishes?

“I have tastes, of course. Though, I keep the number of people who are aware of them to a minimum, need-to-know basis.”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“A capable fighter knows a little bit of everything. I like creativity the most in love.”

38. Camping or indoors?

“Whichever gets me in the closest proximity to food.”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“Of course not, but, look at the time! I surely have to return to being the scourge on the land and Andraste’s chosen, right? Pfft, days were not made with my workload in mind, I’m afraid.”

40. Now it’s over!

“Fantastic. Do take care, and travel safe.”

I’m tagging @kvpowers, @the-rogue-apostate, @lelianasing, and @orlesianbard and anyone else who wishes to participate! Love and light!

#oc stuff #Theia Trevelyan #my poor bb theia #oc meme #oc asks

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poststhatmakemefeel · 6 years ago

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People pleasing and the "fawn" response

(I saw this go by on Facebook, and it was surprising how much it resonated. I'm copying it from ThreadReader, which got it from Twitter, where it was originally written by Sam Dylan Finch. Complete text below the cut. )

I want to share what has been, in the last year or so, one of the most important things I've realized about my own trauma history — something that has been massively important for my own healing.

Let's talk about the link between people-pleasers and emotional abuse. 🧵

Confession: I am a people-pleaser.

It took me a long time to realize this, though. Because I'm opinionated! And I speak my mind! I'm an "open book" about a lot of what I've been through. Clearly I don't care what people think... right?

But people-pleasing is a lot more complex than that. It's actually part of a trauma response. Most people know about fight, flight, and freeze — but another response, "fawn," is at the core of what people-pleasing is actually about.

To avoid conflict, negative emotions, and retraumatization, people who "fawn" when triggered will go out of their way to mirror someone's opinions and appease them in order to deescalate situations (or potential issues).

For me, this meant that the more invested I was in an emotional connection, the less likely I was to criticize that person, vocalize when my boundaries were crossed, express unhappiness with their behavior, or share anything that I felt might damage that relationship.

This could come across as being excessively nice and complimentary, overly-concerned with another person's happiness, and waiting for cues in conversation to determine if something was "safe" to share or disclose. People-pleasers are often considered "emotional chameleons."

People-pleasers are often really warm, encouraging, and generous people. They tend to overextend themselves and say "yes" to everything and everyone, eager to make those they care about happy and comfortable.

They often grow up in very controlling and chaotic environments, and internalized the idea that if they were perfectly good or well-behaved, they could minimize conflict and secure love and attachment.

And.

When you have this tendency to defer, make yourself subordinate, try to become smaller, ignore your boundaries and intuition, and minimize your own needs... you are profoundly vulnerable to emotional abuse.

When you are excessively concerned with pleasing others, you learn that in order to be effective at this, you have to shut down your gut instincts, your values, your emotions — bc being an individual, rather than a mirror, doesn't serve you in securing the love that you want.

People-pleasers can become drawn to abusive relationships, and repelled from relationships that are abundantly loving — because love has to feel "earned" in order to feel secure. In other words? If love is given too freely or easily, it doesn't feel safe.

This means people-pleasers can be drawn to relationships that are controlling (they feel safest when they defer to others), emotionally-withholding (they are driven by the need to "secure" affection/elated when they do), and even abusive (their lack of boundaries is exploited).

Another part of being vulnerable to abuse is that people-pleasers are so easily gaslit, because when they are inclined to suppress their own instincts, values, and beliefs, they're infinitely more likely to defer to an abuser's version of events or narrative.

This also means that "fawn" types often go through cycles of restricting emotionally (I can't be "too much" for others) & then purging emotionally ("unloading" onto a trusted person bc the expectation to be perfect gets to be too much).

(I think this is why so many of us have eating disorders — just an anecdotal observation, but I digress...)

People-pleasers (the "fawn" trauma response) isn't intended to manipulate others and it's not meant to be dishonest. Every single person presents a version of themselves to others. This merely describes how trauma informs that presentation on an often unconscious level.

The "fawn" response is driven by fear, not a hidden agenda. The "fawn" type is less about manipulation, because it's not being used to *overpower* someone. Instead, it's an excessive *relinquishing* of personal power, driven by fear and a desire for validation.

For example, someone who runs personal errands for their boss — despite it not being part of their job description — is not manipulating their boss into liking them. (It won't work anyway.) Their boss, testing those thin boundaries, is exploiting their need for approval.

In more intimate relationships, this can show up as "fawn" types gravitating towards hot/cold dynamics, where affection and love are offered unpredictably.

This is where the emotional abuse piece comes into play. You have someone who is controlling, who feels safest in relationships where they call the shots, and most loved when someone is actively seeking out their approval.

Enter: The "fawn" type.

An abuser will offer validation only to keep the fawn type tethered. But they'll withdraw that it before things feel secure, to ensure that the pleaser will continue going out of their way to "fawn" — continually giving over their power and autonomy so the abuse can continue.

I'm sharing this because, holy shit, my friends, the number of traumatic relationships I've thrown myself into — professionally, personally, romantically — to get stuck in this cycle, with my self-esteem pulverized, has made my heart so heavy.

It took stepping away from a friendship that had so thoroughly gaslit and demolished me — while plummeting into the deep depths of anorexia — before I realized that chasing controlling, emotionally unavailable, even abusive people was crushing my spirit.

I'm not going to leave you hanging, though. If you're reading this and say, "Holy shit... it me. Oh god. What do I do?" I'm here. I've got some advice, some books, some resources. Hang tight.

For starters, I'm going to ask you something: Which of your friends do you cancel on?

Personal experience: I had this tendency to bail on friends, partners, acquaintances, whoever, that were the most generous, warm, and emotionally-available. I avoided those relationships where love was free and easy. Because it didn't feel "earned," so I didn't feel "worthy."

Which isn't to say that everyone with this trauma response does this, BUT, we seek out the familiar. Which means many of us tend to avoid what feels unsafe. For people-pleasers, we're so used to working endlessly hard in relationships — it's disorienting when we aren't asked to.

I made a google doc (no, I seriously did) where I listed out people who were "way too nice to me." And then I asked myself, do I like this person? Do I enjoy their company? If I did, I sent them a text message and told them I wanted to commit to spending more time with them.

I was completely honest about my process with those folks, too. I said, "Listen, I get really scared when people are nice to me. You've always been SO nice to me, and I get afraid of disappointing you. But I want to change that, because I just enjoy your company so very much."

In my phone contacts, I put emojis by their names. I put strawberries next to people who were super loving. I put seedling emojis by folks who taught me things that made me think/grow. So when I saw a text from them, it reminded me that I should prioritize that message. 🌱🍓

And?

My life completely changed... in every imaginable way.

My "strawberry emoji people" went from being acquaintances/friendly to becoming chosen family that I literally could not imagine my life without.

With the help of some amazing therapy, I grew to love myself so much — because that love was being modeled for me in a healthy way.

I'm going into a partial hospitalization program for my anorexia in the next couple weeks (because I've taken it out on my body as much as I have my mind), and my strawberry people (who are now all in a group text together) have been there every step of the way. 😭❤️🍓

Resources!

I genuinely believe that every single person should be reading Pete Walker's book about complex trauma. "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma."

It's really damn good. It talks about fawn types in more detail!

I also wrote a blog entry last year about the pleaser/controller relationship type, if that sounds a little too relatable: https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2018/06/30/people-pleasers-can-be-drawn-to-toxic-relationships-its-important-to-know-why/

I chat a lot more about recovery from trauma/eating disorder stuff on my instagram as well. (I should probably be plugging it more regularly but I forget, sigh. Same handle as here!)

So if this type of content speaks to you, I write about this on a weekly basis over there. 🌱

Most of all though, I just want to validate the hell out of you. ❤️ I understand the very hellish cycle that we find ourselves in when we're consumed by this idea that we need to be "exactly enough," and that, if we measure it out correctly, we'll never hurt or be hurt again.

But relationships involve putting ourselves in harm's way sometimes. What they shouldn't involve, though, is self-harm — and ultimately, that's what "fawning" does. We're harming ourselves. We're making ourselves smaller, we're self-silencing, and we're punishing ourselves.

You are allowed to have ALL the feelings. You are allowed to take up ALL the space. You're allowed to be everything that you are & then some. The right people — your people — will love you even more when they see how expansive your life becomes when you give yourself that space.

It doesn't happen overnight. It's a process! But I want you to know that it's a process you can begin at any time. It's never too late to give yourself permission to be, to show up more authentically, and to find those who will celebrate you for it. I promise you that. ❤️✨

PHEW that was a really long thread but... if even one of you is like "wait fuck this I'm gonna let myself be loved" then it was 100% worth the followers I lost in the process. 😂

(To them, I am sorry for flooding your Twitter feed, but I did it out of LOVE.)

Okay ily byeeee 👋🏻

Adding to this thread, since so many of us are in our feels right now: I’m listening to the song “Sum Of Our Parts” by @marylambertsing and FEELING IT.

“Which part of you clipped your own wings?”

Hugs to every single one of you. ♥️♥️♥️

I added a strawberry next to my name. Each time you see it, please know it’s me, right by your side, cheering you on in this messy and beautiful and weird journey we’re all on. ♥️🍓

May you find your “strawberry people” and grow beyond what you ever thought possible! 🌱🌿🌷

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