#its not without its relevance but oh my gods. *ouch*

[definitelynotshouting]

Now we the readers are now vibrating in fear and anticipation. ( also did an ask about Grian using cosmetics and feather dye come through or did the devouring beast that dwells in the IHOP Wi-Fi eat it?)

yall should absolutely be terrified of the mumbo conversation, im out here to shred hearts /lh. im actually really happy with how mumbo's voice is coming out in this scene-- i hope despite the impending emotional damage everyone else will like it too :]

Also i think it did indeed get devoured, unfortunately 😭😭😭😭 i checked around and i couldnt see anything abt cosmetics or feather dye, sorry friend!!

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 13 - Alone

Naomi: Wait, where are you going? Jon: I was going to give you some privacy while you make your statement. Naomi: Okay, it’s just… could you stay please? I don’t want to be alone. Oh, ouch, I didn't catch that one on my first listen, because you really only grasp its significance AFTER you've listened to the episode but just ... damn.

I’ve always been more comfortable alone, you know? (...) I wasn’t bullied in school, or anything like that. I mean, to be bullied you need to be noticed, and I made sure that I wasn’t. (...) I’ve always just been happier alone. Well, maybe happier isn’t quite the right word. I did get a bit lonely sometimes. I’d hear laughter coming from other rooms in my building, or see a group of friends talking in the sun outside, and maybe I’d wish I had something like that, but it never really bothered me. I knew my own company and was comfortable with it. I didn’t need other people and they certainly didn’t need me.

This is another thing I didn't catch on my first listen but Oh My God Naomi is perfect Lonely fodder. The self-delusion here, the amount of energy she's expending to convince herself that no, no really, she prefers being alone, it doesn't bother her, no, really it doesn't, and nobody needs her anyway and it's better that she be alone. (It also explains why she would get on like a house on fire with a Lukas-who-tried-to-get-away. They've got more in common than you might think!)

I’ll skip over the bit where he dies. (...) Congenital, they said. Some problem with his heart. The son of a family that serves the Lonely has a congenital. heart. problem. In hindsight, that's a tad on the nose, really.

None of the lovely, welcoming faces I’d come to know from Evan’s friends could be seen among the dour figures of his family.

God, I have feelings about Evan Lukas. He nearly got away. And then he died and went back to being Lonely.

The rest of the Lukas family were standing, waiting without a word, as though I was between them and their prey. Which I suppose, in some ways, I was.

On a very low-insight note: GRAAAH!

My impression of this episode

On my first listen, this statement hit me about medium-hard, I suppose. It was memorable, but a lot less than some of the later Lonely statements (The Lonely usually unsettles me quite badly whenever it appears and was the Entity of the only TMA statement that made me tear up, but I'll write about that at the relevant point). But this episode really only unfolded its full horror for me when I listened to it just now, after finishing TMA, i.e. after also hearing Peter Lukas's statement and understanding his family dynamics. Knowing all that information about the Lukas family, I can't help but focus in on Evan rather than Naomi and that leaves me with a very sour taste in the mouth and a strong urge to go GRAAAAAARGH!

Favourite quotes

I started to look around the cemetery with increasing panic. Every grave was open and they were all empty. Even here among the dead, I was alone.

[myasssaysno]

THE BATMAN! Swinging through rooftops. In some unnamed city, while two gown (you know their goons because one of them is awkwardly holding a gun) watch. for some reason. 

This is Detective Comics (1939) with an emphasis on 1939 (despite it being in brackets) The very first Batman story ever published and I'm going to review it because current comics make me want to die.

WARNING: It's a really long post, so only read if you have time and patience to waste.

Okay first lets talk about that front cover, that rope he's swinging on is simply wrapped around one of his arms. In other words, he's lost that arm or at least damaged it quiet badly (don't try this at home kiddos)

Next, he's carrying a man with him, in a head-lock. So, that man's probably dead (again, don't try at home)

And finally, did the sky need to be yellow? The rooftops blue? Or the buildings red and purple? DO ANY OF THESE COLORS MAKE SENSE?

Anyway, quick explanation. Detective Comics don't function like most modern comics, it doesn't resolve around one single superhero and their fight against evil. Instead, it introduces multiple in the same issue. 

Also, the caps lock is permanently on, to make everything exciting! (Pro tip: use exclamation marks for EVERYTHING!)

The Bat-Man doesn't appear until the 27th issue (according to Wikipedia) which is where we'll be starting, other superheroes be damned. 

This is the first introduction of the character of Batman at all. 

And it goes like this:

“The Bat-Man, a mysterious and adventurous figure, fighting for righteousness and apprehending the wrong doer, in his lone battle against the evil forces of society. His identity remains unknown. "

Okay, so immediately drawn to the 'his identity remains unknown' for two reasons. One, everyone knows who Bat-Man is but I get it at this point no-one would know which sounds ridiculous but then it goes on to tell you who Bat-Man is. Like by the end of this one story.

You would think they'd drag it out a little longer, but old comics don't play around like that. 

Next thing to note, Bat-Man really did start out as a moody loner which is both disgusting and impressive. On account of a lot of character's becoming unrecognizable to their past interpretations, especially spanning decades. 

Now the story is called:

"The case of the Chemical Syndicate."

It starts in Commissioner Gordon's house, who has some of the most colourful furniture. We are talking bright fireman red arm chair, and a sky blue arm chair. Like old comics just went crazy with colours. 

Also, Bruce Wayne used to smoke a pipe (back in the day when everyone smoked) while Gordon prefers what looks like a cigar. Old comics aren't the easiest to tell what's going on half the time. 

Anyway, Gordon is entertaining the young socialite Bruce Wayne. 

(Side note: At the moment Commissioner Gordon doesn't even have a first name which is deeply disrespectful to the man). 

Bruce is playing up the bored rich boy act, head in hand and wishing for death. While Gordon's puzzling over the Bat-Man (which again is extremely disrespectful to my man, Commissioner Gordon who knows better)

Then the phone rings! Dun Dun Duuuun!

We only hear Gordon's side of the story, which explains that a man named Lambert, known as the Chemical King has been stabbed and his son's finger prints are on the knife. 

Okay, first mistake deary. That crime literally just happened, Gordon turns up to the scene is a few panels over and the body hasn't been moved, the crime scene hasn't been analysed and the son's sat waiting for the Commissioner. 

This isn't a case closed, better let the Commissioner know. This is a, their a case that needs the Commissioner phone call. How the hell did they know whose prints are on the knife, how did they know anything about the knife if they're waiting for the Commissioner to analyse the scene. 

But jumping back to the phone call, Bruce Wayne's still in the room. Within hearing distance which is bad but then Gordon asks if he'd liked to come along. 

Commissioner Gordon invites Bruce Wayne to a crime scene. If the people who first read this, didn't immediately work out who Bat-Man is, they're stupid. Plain and simple. 

Anyway, they speed over (because they have to) in a little red car that's looks exactly like Bat-Man's car. (But we don't know that yet)

Arriving at the scene, Gordon examines the scene but doesn't really have anything to say about it. For summary, it's a dead man in a dressing gown who got stabbed in the back (because where else would you get stabbed) and died on his library floor. 

If you haven't worked it out yet, this man is rich. Big mansion, named after him. He's known as Old Lambert, and he's the Chemical King. Which I researched a little into, and it really was early days for chemical corporations in America (and other places) so I'm guessing they wanted to show that's he's some big-shot of a chemical corporation or something?

Either way, Gordon's right on to the good part. Accusing the son of murder, who immediately panics and goes on the defence. Which by todays standards makes him seem guilty as hell. 

As it turns out, he came home early (don't sons just always do that, when their father's getting murdered) heard a noise from the library, found his father with a knife in his back and removed it. 

So technically, he did murder his father. 

The boys story also contains a part where he got the impression someone had jumped out of an open window (not sure what that means) and that the safe was open, and his father's dying words as he held him in his arms were contract. 

God damn it, just once think about your son Old Lambert, but no once again business comes first. 

Gordon then proves himself a good detective and asks the lad about any enemies. Which the boy replies with, no but yeah and lists three names who all become relevant to this story, almost like the boy knew all along. (Kidding)

The first former businessman is Steven Crane, and guess who just phoned the Lambert residency. Steve Crane (maybe it's his brother) who informs the commissioner that Lambert had received a death threat before he'd died, and that he has also received a death threat. 

Gordon tells him to stay put, don't let anyone in. At this point Bruce Wayne taps out and then we're in Crane's library. And oh no, he's just been shot. 

Why give the death threat, did these businessmen just immediately go sit in their libraries and stare at their safe's when threatened?

Crane's murderer steals something from the safe and immediately runs to a nearby rooftop to meet up with Lambert's murderer. 

Okay, mistake number one. If there's two of you, and you're both going to murder a businessman, strike at the same time. Don't wait for the police to turn up to one crime and don't threaten the second victim so he has time to warn the police. 

Next mistake, don't meet on a rooftop, that draws attention. Meet inside a car, or a back alley or at least a few streets away, not down the street from victim two's house.

Finally, don't carry paper around in your hands when your going to meet on a rooftop. Like nothing happens to that paper, but I'm telling you that's the biggest lie of this comic, that paper should be gone.

Instead, they get their ass kicked by Bat-Man who sends one of the criminals flying through space. (The comics words not mine) like Bat-Man just yeets one over his shoulder without looking. 

Anyway, the police turn up, Gordon shouts about catching Bat-Man who is able to disappear into the night with his piece of paper (unrealistic) and then Gordon gives up on finding Bat-Man and goes to Crane's house. 

That's right, one panel of Gordon shouting at Bat-Man and then he's outside Crane's house, speaking with the man's butler who explains Crane's dead. And it's terrible. Heck, Gordon doesn't even check just takes the butler's word for it. 

Gordon then comes to the conclusion that if two out of four businessmen, who Lambert's son mentioned got death threats before dying, the other two businessmen must also have gotten death threats. 

Once again, the are just mention as former businessmen, not even if they knew each other or were part of the same business. Gordon's going out on a limb here. 

Doesn't matter anyway, because he's investigation ends here. 

Bat-Man on the other hand is sat in Bruce Wayne's car, grime smile as he looks at a piece of paper. And then he speeds forward onto an unknown destination. (Um, what?)

Next we jump to the former businessman number two, Paul Rogers whose heard of Lambert's death on the news. Rushing over to the last businessman the son name dropped Alfred Stryker. 

Rogers is met by Mr Jennings, the assistant of Stryker at the door to the neighbouring lab, who lets Rogers in. Only to sock him in the back of the head. Ouch!

He's then tied up, taken to the basement and placed under a glass cylinder. Mr Jennings explains its a gas chamber he's used on guinea pigs (why always guinea pigs)

Anyway, Bat-Man jumps in through the skylight and picks up a wrench. Jumping into the cylinder with Rogers, plugs up the gas jet with a handkerchief before breaking the glass. 

I want to call bullshit, but like it could work. Maybe. I don't know.

Jennings pulls a pistol on Bat-Man. Idiot. He's thrown over Bat-Man's shoulders for his troubles and sat on (that's right) by Bat-Man who then punches him in the face a good few times. 

Stryker finally arrives. Tries to kill Rogers with what looks like a butter knife, Bat-Man immediately twists the knife of out his hands, before grabbing him by the front of his clothes. 

Now comes the part where Bat-Man explains what's going on. Okay, so basically, Stryker didn't have ready cash to buy the company (Apex Chemical Corporation) off the other three. So, he set up secret contracts saying he'll pay them off in set amount, but instead had them killed. 

Not much of a chemical syndicate (which is an organized crime)

Anyway, then Bat-Man kicks the man into a tank of acid (did I forget to mention the tank of acid) for hiring people to kill of some businessmen. I mean what about the people who actual kill them. 

Whatever, Jason's proud Bruce. 

Bat-Man leaves with a quick “a fitting end for his kind” before pulling the disappearing act on Rogers, the only surviving businessman who can't prove Bat-Man was ever there and has to explain the disappearance of Stryker. 

Anyway, Bruce joins the Commissioner again at his house and hears all about the Bat-Man. Not sure what Gordon actual knows about that but Bruce pretends to be uninterested and Gordon thinks Bruce has a boring life and he's disinterested in everything. 

Then, we see Bruce return home and disappear into a room, only for Bat-Man to step out. OH NO! BAT-MAN KILLED BRUCE WAYNE.

Quick summary, four former businessmen. One gets stabbed in the back and for a hot second it looks like his son is the murderer. Businessman two get shot in the front. Both have contracts stolen from their safe. The murderer's meet on the rooftop and are beaten up by Bat-Man.

Businessman three goes to businessman four whose assistant tries to kill him. Saved by Bat-Man. Businessman four is kicked into a tank of acid for his trouble and businessman three goes down for the crime. Maybe, he can't prove Bat-Man murdered businessman four. 

Bat-Man says keep calm and yeet criminals into space (and the one's who hire them into tanks of acid)

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 22

oooh man, its time to feel some EMOTIONS!

I'm BACK after a hiatus, which was due in part to me getting my 1st dose of the covid vaccine! woohoo!

anyways, starting here w/issue 22....we have a great cover w/thunderclash, the legend himself

oof. the covers made me forget how much I don't like the art this issue...I hate to be mean to the artists but this art style just isn't doin it for me chief

god I love this issue though. the framing device of rewind’s movie is so so fantastic

tailgate listing off all his fake awards/accomplishments....ily 

rodimus my boy, you're a prime in my heart

the ‘not a decepticon’ label for cyclonus is so much hvbhkjfbskjf

I literally wanna comment on every single panel bc I love all the characters so much but then id be here forever...that being said whirl ily sm 

hvbjdfbhsfjhdfshja BRAINSTORM ‘according to perceptor - ships genius’ hvhdkjhbfhjs ily dumb gay idiot

and then the cut to perceptor after brainstorm like, blew up his lab vjbkdsfnbksjf dude

GODDDDDD drift ‘your name...defines you. it’s your soul expressed in syllables. hm? oh, yes, sorry. it’s drift.’ GOD he’s so fucking funny. I love early story hippy drift

god I cant stop thinking about how good this whole issue would be as an animated show...like, specifically rewinds film, it would be SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD mtmte show WHEN

rewiiiiind ;_; I fuckgin love rewind god. fellow video editing enthusiast....

ohhhh rodimus being embarrassed about his big speech at the beginning of mtmte....my boy I love u so much

gjhnbgehjsrkfbjksf magnus being suspicious of rewind oh my god. magnus ily but please, look at the lil guy, he’s a good boy, most of the time

the fuckgin footage that magnus removed hbvhakjbfhskf god. wasn't that intended to be footage of magnus dancing? I love him

minibot squad.....

and here it begins, the mystery stick rung question...

poor rung oh my god he’s just trying to polish his lil spaceship and people r throwing shit at him. taking Ls as per usual it seems

hand grenade tag hvbfjksdnfbkjdf love that callback

noooo rungs ship :( 

magnus’s censorship vhbhadkjfhdbhjsakjhfn

oh man I forgot about how they met that race of Transformers But More 

the one-upsmanship hbvkajsbehfjks

whirrrrrl lmao I love whirl sm

goddddd whirl just killing that other alien and ending the 16 million yr long civil war bvkjsdbfhjjkafs so fucking much

oh god oh god the ‘are you happy’ page, I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this like, ever

but I will say I feel like it would be EVEN MORE oof if it were milne or someone drawing it bc I feel like this art style takes away from some of the impact bc the expressions aren't really that...expressive? idk how to put it

anyways. every single answer destroys me!!! like even the happy ones, like chromedome and rewind and tailgate - well, in present time, none of those three are doing so hot, so that makes this just hurt 

and rung....that is so fucking depressing. jesus. this guy is so fuckng sad, somebody get him a friend stat

and swerve...ouch. this readthru I've really noticed how much early-mtmte swerve is not-so-subtly like, crying out for help bc he’s so alone and shit. jesus 

also brainstorms response is just plain ole sad w/context, but at this point in the story without context, it just seems very foreboding lmao. I'm realizing this readthru that brainstorm is very sketchy and ominous in a particular ‘is he evil?’ mad scientist sorta way in early mtmte

and then everyone else is also just so OOF in their own unique sad ways, but I think the worst out of everyone is drift....GODDDDDD. especially considering that at this point in the story, drift is this kinda goofy hippy guy, so seeing him just sit there with his face in his hand, not even answering the question...AND knowing that shortly after this he’ll end up banished...IT FUCKING HURTS M8!

meanwhile, the more upbeat ‘quest to see rungs alt mode’ continues...with an ‘alt mode party’ vhbadkjsdfnabskjf it looks so silly with a bunch of cars just sitting around a table lmao

I cant even tell who everyone is bc they so rarely turn into cars n shit lmaoooooo 

rodimus with the bucket on his head hbvhakjbfskjf I CANT

everyone’s reactions to thunderclash...i fucking love it

the fact that TAILGATE doesn't hate him, even though we’ve seen that tailgate tends to dislike people who are universally liked/who have achieved a lot of impressive things

rodimus you petty thot vbdkjbfdjhsakjdf ily

RODIMUS IS SO FUNNYYYYYY ‘I'm not making all these sacrifices and leading these guys into battle and being inspirational - I'm not doing that because it makes me look good’ RODIMUS VBHSKJDFNBKSJF

thunderclash talking about magnus’s article on typefaces....hdbksjfsdbkjgfb bro

AND THEN MAGNUS HUGS HIM....HGBSKJFDSHFKD I CANT

POOR DRIFT bvhajkdfbhjkjsfd rodimus saying he ‘rehabilitated him’ oh my god

the whole spectralism thing...im sorry I cant get over how funny all this is vbakdjfbksjf thunderclash rlly b out here charming rodimus’s entire crew

and then ratchet comes in, calling tc ‘thunders,’ and tc immediately notices ratchets new hands (somehow) hvbkjfhbskjf truly amazing

it cracks me up that rodimus is all 😒😒 at thunderclash, even though as we come to find out, tc really IS That Perfect, and him complimenting rodimus isn't sarcasm at all lmao

AND THEYRE LOOKING FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CYBERTRON TOO HVSDHFJBSHKHDFJS OF COURSE

the vis vitalis being a life support machine spaceship is a really cool concept tho

‘rescuing some orphans from an exploding sun’ I fucking cant

evil guy: [holds a gun to thunderclash’s head] 

rodimus: :D finally something doesn't go his way!

he’s so petty I’m..........dkdjhfdabhduifadijgl

and its the aliens from earlier! oooh

GODDD I forgot that swerve used rung in mystery stick mode to SCHWACK the guy

rung casually dropping the fact that the functionists like, experimented on him...there's a lot of implications there, and that'll certainly be explored more later...

the fact that his ID card says ‘rong’ hvbhjakhdsbfakhsjfn 

oughufadkfujbsfk the circle of light throwing wrenches n shit at skids...guys cmon vbhsdjkfnslfd

the circle of light is like ‘wtf you all have trauma and a bunch of weird unhealthy coping mechanisms this is wack byeeeee’ lmao

skids calling the lost light his home is rlly sweet tho

cant believe the religious space hippy cult is being so rude about a film made by a guy who died like a week ago. unreal 

cd finally figured out how to make the pffft sound, good for him

AUGHHHHH the fact that rewind used ‘little victories’ as the title of the film and that's something that chromedome said in the video ;_; I'm fucking inconsolable 

rodimus, despite his obvious posturing for the camera during the whole issue, comes off as surprisingly genuine when he says that he hasn't thought about his own future much, but wants the crew to have a happy ending....im gonna cry

‘who knows what's around the corner?’ tailgate, PLEASE don't say that, oh my god, 

OUGHHHH GROUP SHOT 

OHHH mannnnNNNNN i love this issue SO MUCH. what a good fun emotional rollercoaster wrap-up to mtmte s1. god. 

like, this issue has it all - humor, drama, crippling sadness, intrigue, worldbuilding...it’s so excellent 

and getting to see rewind again hurts so bad but also I love him

ok quick mtmte s1 retrospective...god s1 is so fucking good. I'm gonna have to read more to say which chunk of mtmte I liked best but s1 is so fucking excellent that it might be my favorite. though its hard to pick bc there's so much good stuff later on too...whatever, the point is s1 is so so good

the plotlines and characters are fucking stellar. like I cant even believe how well Everything works, its very impressive. I cant really think of anything major that made me go ‘yeah could've done without that plotline/character’

I love how dedicated jro is to connecting everything. I've mentioned it before but basically every single moment in the series has payoff - what you initially think is just a funny moment, or a fluffy character establishment bit, ends up ALSO being an important plot point later, in some way

an example would be here w/rung and his alt mode - it just seems like a fun little B-plot for this issue, and seems to pretty neatly conclude with the reveal that rung was eventually classified as an ‘ornament’ (lmao)...but we later on get to see a lot more about this, both here and in the functionist universe 

and like, stuff like tailgate’s autobot lessons w/magnus - at first that can be seen as purely character establishment stuff, showing that magnus is a strict rule-lover and tg is a loveable try-hard good boy - but that becomes plot relevant in remain in light, with tailgate saving the day due to his knowledge of the autobot code (and its also character relevant, with magnus’s arc in remain in light). 

and I know this is like. a normal regular thing in writing, but I'm just very impressed about how cleanly jro pulls it off, and how many things he’s juggling at once, especially in early mtmte - it’s very ambitious!

and we gotta remember, this is a comic book. I've read a lot of comic books, and the quality is all over the place. a lot of writers bite off more than they can chew, and the story ends up kinda scattered as a result. 

another thing I see a lot in franchise writing like this is a lack of strong early character establishing due to the author assuming the readers are at least somewhat familiar with the characters already - which can be totally fair depending on where it is in the continuity, but other times it can come off as lazy

in mtmte, the cast is extremely well fleshed out, and not only that, the cast itself is unique in that there are a lot of relative unknowns (franchise-wise) - which I think was an absolutely brilliant move, because then jro was able to essentially create The Definitive Version of these characters - characters like swerve, brainstorm, chromedome, rewind, tailgate...mtmte is their baseline characterization, because they haven't really appeared in much else

this also allows for deviation from the franchise norms - again, a comic book classic is good writing being stifled by a need to stick to a certain status quo regard the characters, the world, the powers, relationships, etc

(I've mostly read DC comics, and some marvel, so I'm thinking superheroes w/all these comic comparisons)

so mtmte had a good recipe for genuine creativity in that the characters were relative unknowns, the plot was basically ‘space road trip,’ the status quo of ‘autobot vs decepticon war’ had been demolished throughout the entire franchise...so jro was able to take all that and run, and it turned out so fantastic

and luckily it isn't over yet! so many comics suffer from premature cancellation...and sadly mtmte/ll isn't exempt from this, as we’ll see later, but I've seen some awful ones, where comics are forced to wrap up in like 2 issues while in the middle of an arc. yikes. 

but another comic staple...one of my least favorite things about comics books in general...something that was basically responsible for driving me away from comics after reading a bunch...the dreaded crossover event

yep, even mtmte isn't immune to this unfortunate plague on the comic industry. crossover events are the absolute worst, and I'm saying this as somebody who adores crossovers (in concept more than execution usually). they SHOULD be my favorite, but unfortunately they p much always completely suck

they're essentially a ploy to get you to read the other ongoing titles, but they usually only serve to bog down whatever story you're reading to the point where you don't even wanna read that one anymore, let alone read all the other ongoings. at least, that’s been my experience 

it doesn't help that reading orders tend to be hard to find/keep track of, and that you need to go read the other series to know what's going on. I just hate it, like, I came here to read THIS series, I don't want a bunch of other series showing up too - even if I was reading two series, I wouldn't want them crossed over, because they're separate stories! augh!

I'm totally losing my focus here but my point is...crossover events suck, and mtmte unfortunately is involved in one. I have not read dark cybertron, and I'm not about to. I've heard nothing but bad things so I have no desire to inflict that upon myself 

soooo ill be reading through the tfwiki articles for those issues to give myself a better understanding of what went on - which is more than I've ever done in the past - and maybe ill even make a single post summarizing my thoughts on what I read in the wiki, lmao

but yea ill be skipping to the mtmte s2 stuff next 

phew ok I'm super tired, my vision keeps blurring out and stuff lmao. its time for bed, I probably have more thoughts but ill save them for later. for now...peace out!

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

PROMPT GAME #1

Totally unedited and I have to cut the storyline a little short, because well, its supposed to be a drabble. Ahahah ❤ and I decided to combine all promts you requested into one.

"Seriously Jeon? You have fucked everyone else and now you are finding girls in my home?" Y/N sighed and walked passed the shirtless male, grinnibg with his mouth full of cereal. Her cereal, in her house, using her bowl.

"Not my fault your roomate is hot," he winks, totally shameless about the fact that he and her so called roomate keep the whole house, specifically her, since shes the only other person in there anyway, awake all night, with their disgusting activities. Endless activities. "Cereal?"

Y/N rolled her eyes and grab the half eaten bowl and throw in the sink.

"No thanks, and thanks for offering, since that is my cereal in the first place. Now that you have disgraced this house, would you please get out so I can comfort my roomate when she realizes what an asshole you are and what a mistake she made?"

"Aww, come on Y/N why so grumpy? Someone not getting any?" Jungkook smirk, slipping on his shirt, thank god. He might be an asshole, but hes an asshole with a bod! And its hard to be snarky with his hard pecs staring back at her.

"Ive been getting plenty on my own, thanks," Y/N rolles her eyes again. "And I rather be dead than being with you in the same bed Jeon,"

"Oh come on Y/N, I know you wish I want you. Hey, maybe I do. Wanna gove it a try?" He winks, taunting her.

"Just get the fuck out Jeon," Y/N open the door and crossed her arms, waiting for Jungkook to walk himself out.

"Okay, okay, no need to be so hostile," he laughs and walks out. "See you babe. Just call me if you change your mind, I'll make time for you," he laughs before the door slammed at his back.

The rivalry between Y/N and Jungkook started so long ago that even Y/N cant remember how it even started or if its even relevant anymore. But what she knows is that she hates that fuckboy's guts. Walking around like he owbs the damn campus. Well, maybe it started whe Jungkook pull her braids at the playground when they were 5 or maybe it didnt. It doesnt matter anyway. What natters is that Y/N hates him.

Whole heartedly.

/////

"Ouch!" Y/N turns around as her hand hit a solid rock. A rock that makes a sound. Wait, what rock?

Theres an intruder in her bed!

Y/N freaks out and immediately sits up, a massive headache attacking her head like sharp needles before she takes in her surrounding.

This is not my room.

And I am definitely not alone.

Not just not alone... Y/N turns her head slowly and nervously to the side and screamed out when she sees Jungkook rubbing his head, evidence of being hit by her hand earlier, naked, only with a blanket covering his bottom half.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Geez woman, stop shouting. Its like too early for this," Jungkook rubs his eyes and yawns, totally unbothered by the fact that they are in bed together and naked.

"Get out! What are you doing in my bed?! What did you do to me?" Y/n starts hitting him.

"Yah! Stop it!" Jungkook catches her hands and hold it tight. "First of all, this is my bed. So the question you should ask is, what are you doing in my bed?" Jungkook smirked. "And second, you dont remember?"

"Remember what? What did you do to me?! I couldnt have done this on my own free will! Never!"

"Oh sweetheart, think it long and hard and maybe you will remember," he grins and lays back on the headboard, totally relax.

Y//N scrunched her nose, trying to remember, and slowly everything came back to her.

"I cant believe I missed the dateline for my Math project!" Y/N wailed to her friend. "Im so stressed oit. Urghhh!"

"Then I have good news my friend. Theres a party happening tonight, and I heard its gonna be big. Everyone is invited,"

"Then I'm in!"

"Wow, you are really stressed out. Nerdy Y/N saying yes to a party without hesitation? Amazing,"

/////

"Wow, never seen you at a party before," Jungkook grins towards Y/N as he sits on the kitchen counter of the packed house, a bottle of beer in his hand. "This is usually my forte,"

"Pissed off Jeon. Why are you everywhere," Y/N slurred, losing balance and almost fell if Jungkook didnt catch her.

"And definitely never seen you this drunk before," Jungkook helped to steady her. "Actually, I have never ever seen you drink, at all. Are you alone? Who did you come with?" Jungkook looked around, concerned etched on his face. "Lets just sober you up a little then I'll send you home okay?"

Jungkook held her shoulders and bring her upstairs, to his room. Its such luck that the party is being held at his frat house. His room is off limits to everyone, but this is an emergencu. Hes not going to leave Y/N downstairs to be taken advantage by all the guys at the party. He knows the guys. He is one of them. But he will never let anything happen to Y/N.

Not Y/N.

"Just lie down here. Ill take some water for you okay?" Jungkook places her on his bed, covering her with a blanket.

"Nooo, dont go," Y/N pulls him, making him fall on her and giggles. "Wow, you are so handsome," she traces his face with her fingers.

"You are definitely drunk Y/N," he laughs, he hinself a little tipsy.

"No, I am not. Hey Jeon... Why do I hate you again?" Y/N stares into his eyes, not letting her grip on him go.

"I-I dont know.." Jungkook whispered. He knows its wrong. Y/N is definitely drunk, and he himself is intoxicated. And they hate each other, dont they? Atleast thats what Y/N been telling him, but Jungkook hasnt been hating her for the longest time already. Its actually quite the opposite.

"Jungkook?"

"Y/N?"

And as Y/N pulls his face, connecting their lips together, the rest of the night is history.

/////

"Fucking. Hell..."

"So I take it you remember?" Jungkook grins.

"I was drunk! You took advantage of me!" Y/N screamed making Jungkook laughed. So dramatic.

"Me?! You are the one who make the first move! You took advantage of me! Besides, its not so bad. I made you feel good," he winks. "We both kinda win here,"

"Urghhh, shut up!" Y/N quickly stands up and collect her clothes which is strewn all over the room, hastily putting it on, all the while mumbling like crazy. "Not a word of this to anyone! Oh God, I cant believe this happened! I an serious Jeon, no word to anyone!"

Jungkook laugh and made a swear sign with his hand.

"I swear. I wont tell anyone. Although are you sure? I know you want to gloat on how good I made you feel," he laughs more.

"Shut the fuck up! Urghhhh," she threw a pillow to his head, missing him by an inch, making him laugh more as Y/N scurried away.

"Thanks for the night!"

"Fuck off!" Y/N screamed out and slammed the door, leaving Jungkook still laughing on the bed, mumbling to himself, smiling.

You are such a pain in my ass, it actually hurts to fucking love you Y/N. If only you knew how I feel.

/////

Eversince that fateful morning, it seems like Jungkook is everywhere. She cant seems to shake him away. Grinning, waving, annoying her...

Y/N never told anyone about that night of course. She doesnt want to be knows as another one of Jungkook's girls, or his latest victim. Jungkook is someone she despise and thats the extend of their relationship. And she would like to keep it that way.

But fate of course have another plan and her science teacher partnered her up with Jungkook, as part of the mentor - protege program hes trying. A good student oartnered up woth a less performing on, in hopes it could help each other. Worse, after weeks ignoring him and asking him to do his own thing, the class is assigned with a project, something Y/N could never run from. And that is how she is in the library, sitting beside a grinning Jungkook.

"We are finishing this project as fast as we can and thats it,"

"Oh come on Y/N. Cant we atleast be friends?" Jungkook grins, teasing her. "Afterall, you have seen me nak-"

"Shut up!" Y/N quickly covers his mouth. "What are you trying to do? Telling everyone we hooked up? It was a drunken mistake okay!"

Jungkook laughs and mumble to himself. So cute.

"What?"

"Nothing. I didnt say anything," he smiles and shrugs.

"Look Jungkook, I'm serious okay? This marks are important to me. Lets just do thia properly and be serious about it. I will divide the work load so we can do it on our own time and we can meet uo eve-"

Y/N was cut off when his lips landed on her and he grins.

"What the hell did you just do?!" Y/M hissed, looking around to see if anybody noticed. "Didnt I tell you just now? You cant just go around kissing people! I mean, I know you are a manwhore but thats not how the rest of the human world works! Stop being a-"

Another kiss.

"Jeon Jungkook!"

"I only kissed you because you were talking too much," he smile, bunny teeth showing, chin olaces in the palm of his hand that is laced together, looking at her.

"I-uh..."

"See, it works. You are finally speechless," Jungkook smile got wider. "Lets get to work shall we?"

/////

The project did bring Jungkook and Y/N closer together. They can be now considered somewhat... friends?

"So.. do you still hate me?" Jungkook asks as they are having coffee together after submitting their final project.

"Well.. hate is a strong word Jeon," Y/N smile. "And I think I am getting used to you. But I still dont like you," she giggled.

"Well, I'll take that," Jungkook smile. "Uh.. hey.. do you want to go to the dance with me?" His voice laced with nervousness.

Y/N was surprised by his question. Is Jungkook asking her out?

"I-I mean, as friends? To celebrate our new friendship?"

"Whatt? Does the great Jeon Jungkook has no date for the dance?" She laughs.

"Hey, I spend all my time doing this project with you. I got your nerd aura all over me okay," Jungkook smile. "So will you?"

"Yeah," Y/N smiles. "Yeah, why not,"

/////

"Hey Minji, I have to meet up with my professor, kts a last minute thing. If Jungkook came can you tell him to wait? Please?" Y/N shouted to her roomate as she rushed to the door.

"Jungkook? Wait, you are going to the dance with Jungkook?" Minji raised an eyebrow.

"Y-yeah. He asked me. Wait, you are okay with that right? You said hes only a one night stand right?" Y/N stopped in her tracks.

"Of course. It was a mutual understanding. Im only surprised because I didnt know you two still hang out. And he never brings a date to a dance. And dont you hate him or something?" Minji questioned, hands crossed on her chest.

"Well, lets just say hes changed," Y/N smiles. "My phone is out of battery but I'll be back in a jiffy. Let Jungkook know ok? Thanks, love you!" Y/N waves off and went out.

Lets just see if Jungkook truly changed Y/N-ah. A fuckboy will forever be a fuckboy. And if you think a nerd like you can chabge him instead of someone like me, you are dead wrong. Minji smirks.

/////

"Oh hi Kookie, what are you doing here?" Minji gave him a sultry smile as she opened the door to see Jungkook looking dashing in a tuxedo, flowers in hand. He even get Y/N her favorite. How tentative. Minji rolled her eyes.

"Im here to pick up Y/N. For the dance?" Jungkook smile.

"Oh no," Minji puts a hand on her chest, brows furrowing in sadness. "I am sorry to hear that, but Y/N left,"

"Left? But I'm her date?"

"Kookie, I am so sorry. I dont know how to say this. But she was so happy she managed to tricked you. She said its some kind of revenge and that you are stupid to believe she would actually be friends let alone go to the dance with you?"

"W-what? N-no. Y/N couldnt... could she?" Jungkook's face pained as the clutch on the flowers loosen and drop to the floor.

"I am so sorry..." Minji carressed his face. "But hey.." he pulls him to the sofa and scoot closer. "I can make you feel better and forget about her,"

/////

Y/N almost ran home. Shes ao excited and she needs to get ready, to look good for Jungkook. She dont know why she have to, but she just wanted to. And shes late.

She happily pushed open her door, a wide smile on her face, which immediately dissapear once she is greeted with the image of Jungkook being balls deep inside her roommate, on the couch... in the middle of the fucking living room. He cant even find the decency to take ger to the room atleast? Knowing she lives here too?

"W-what?"

"Y/N?" Jungkook was shocked and immediately pull out, scouring for his boxers and slipped it on.

"What the hell?! You cant even wait for a few minutes without fucking anyone?!"

"You bailed! I thought you left. And what do you care? Arent I just some kind of revenge?" Jungkook smirked.

"What are you talking about?! Bail?!I was meeting my professor! I told Minji this. To tell you! And what revenge?!"

"Wait, what?" Realization suddenly hits him as he turns to face Minji who is smirking. "You lied? You bitch!"

"Hey, dont be mad at me. If you can just keep it in your pants this wont happen," she shrugs. "Y/N, I am just trying to show you that fuckboys will never change. Just one lie and hes already fucking someone else! How can you be wih him?"

"Shut the fuck up you lying manipularive bitch!" Jungkook yelled at her, trying to control his temper. But he knows Minji is not important right now. Y/N is. "Y/N listen to me, I can explain. Minji.. she said-"

"It doesnt matter Jungkook. Minji is right. Just one lie from her is all it needed for you to start sleeping with someone else?"

"Y/N, no. Its not like that. I was hurt. I was-"

"Save it Jeon," Jungkook stopped at the nickname. It felt so cold. He took a step forward, lurching for her arm but Y/N pull back immediately.

"Stop. Fucking. Touch. Me!" Y/N yelled. "Minji is right. Fuckboy never changed, get out Jeon,"

"Y/N-"

"Why should I care anyway right, we are just friends," Y/N angrily wipe her tears. "Maybe not even friends," she stormed off into the room, slamming the door, leaving Jungkook to pick up the pieces of broken heart.

/////

"Go away!"

"I am going to annoy you, follow you around until you talk to me. Until you forgive me. I dont care what it takes, or who knows how desperate I am!" Jungkook followed her around like a pupoy around campus for a whole three months now. Never once did he gives up. Y/N has finally had enough. The whole campus heard about how Jeon Jungkook, the campus player is now whipped and chasing some nerd. Y/N cant already tolerate the endless flowers, chocolates, gifts, texts and phonecalls that he sent everyday, but following her around, all day and all night? For three whole month? Its too much.

"Why wont you give up?! We were not even friends to begin with!"

"I am never giving you up. Ever!"

"Seriously. Why?! The fuck, why?!" Y/N has reached her limit, screaming in the middle of campus to the campus player, not caring to maintain her cool anymore.

"Fine, you wanna know so bad? Its because I fucking love you L/N Y/N! I have love you for so many years eventhough you hated me! And now that I have the chance to be in your life I am not gonna let some manipulating bitch ruined it for me! I want you and I am not gonna stop until I get you!" Jungkook's chest heaved from his confession. "Got your answer now?"

"N-no," Y/N shakes her head, eyes searching his. "It cant be. We hated each other!"

"I dont. I never did. I dont even know why you hate me? Ia it because I pulled your braids when we were 5?" Jungkook smiles. "That just means I like you Y/N. And I have never stopped since,"

"B-but all the girls you have been with? You are the campus player!"

"Its only to get you attention," he bunny grins. "I gor your attention when I slept with your roommate and I have stopped ever since Y/N. Please, believe me. I love you,"

"B-but-"

"Please Y/N," Jungkook kneeled down and hold her hands, in the middle of the busy campus. "I wont stop until you say yes. I will follow you. I will tell you everyday I love you. I will call you, text you, I wi-"

Y/N cuts him off by pulling him up, grinning, tears in her eyes.

"Serioualy Jeon, you are so annoying,just kiss me already," she grins, hands holding the back of his neck, making Jungkook smile with his bunny grin, love in his eyes.

"With pleaseure my love,"

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 10 - Candy Part 1 again

I was told that finishing the epilogue MAY make me feel better by some with opinions, with some vague hints that the ridiculous start of Candy may have underlying reasons, so now that I’m awake again (though my stomach is roiling a bit again) I’m gonna take another crack at it.

Alright, so I was also hinted that this Candy part ends with a different cliffhanger, so maybe those two will cancel out?  That’s my hope anyway.

Reading page 1 again since I didn’t finish the very tail end of it... alright, so WHY IS ROXY CRYING again????  Was she just PRETENDING that she didn’t know it might turn out bad for John if he went at the end of the last one?  Was there some weird mind-rewriting going on?  Is the crying a symptom of this whole thing potentially being an our!Callie fanfic and she knows what’s being dodged??  Don’t know.

Alright, let’s have him save Gamzee and... is Vriska going to get saved in this version?  Or is that descent into the black hole without seeing what happens her well-deserved comeuppance while only the ghost version of Vriska truly figured out how to be happy?

==>

Dirk acknowledges him when he zaps back, but it’s YOUNG Dirk so hopefully there isn’t any stupid Meat stuff going on.

...Yeah, Gamzee immediately being repentant is weird as shit.  Maybe he Chucklevoodoo’d Callie into escaping him into this whole candied mess so he could start shit, I dunno.  That or this isn’t really Gamzee or someone’s manipulating him or etc etc etc.  The hint I got earlier was that if I thought Calliope wanting to bring Gamzee back and everyone just rolling with it was a little out of character, there are “reasons”, so I’m just going through all of this under the assumption that some emotion-manipulating weirdness is going on regardless.

Oh shit, Gamzee’s going to start recounting his character reasons for doing bad stuff in a surface-hope of justification and understanding.  All the characters immediately recognize how painfully groanworthy this is going to be.

GAMZEE: AnD sUcH iS wHy I’m GrAbBiNg HoLd Of My RePeNtAnCe As FiRm AnD sErIoUs As I wOuLd A wHoRe’S tItTy!

Yeah, that really encapsulates how “serious” all of this is.  And of course, John’s not having any of it.

Yeah, Terezi wouldn’t have any of it either, remotely.

Something feels different, but he can’t put his finger on it.

Hm.  The aforementioned manipulation-weirdness?

==>

Okay, so it’s kind of Dirk who notices something different and is cancelling his stupid villain plans, got it.

Volatility of causality, huh?

(I’m going to be going through these parts a little faster than the Meat section, unsurprisingly.)

==>

Okay, Rose and Kanaya, are we gonna cure her substance abuse or--

With all the distance between them lately,

God damnit, have Dirk’s manipulations extended that far OFFSCREEN or is this legitimate character distancing???? Because either is BAD.  >:(

Right, now that the plot and “relevance” has been sidelined over to a different timeline, Rose can now breathe easy free of her condition.  And whichever parts of her condition were, perhaps, IMPOSED on her.  Fuck.

I’m going to try my fucking best to cling to this, hope I can carry on a memory after this is over that DOESN’T imagine Rose trapped in a fucking existential dying villain coma with a hard fucking cutoff that promises nothing is ever coming to resolve it ever.  (Or Jade in a somewhat-similar sidelined situation, or Jane doomed to fuck herself over and everyone else too, or...)

What’s slipping away instead is the feeling that any of it mattered at all. Was she insane to be so consumed by such lofty concerns, and is she only beginning to experience clarity today, for the first time in ages?

Yeah, you’re no longer in a timeline of Light and relevance.  And that’s not so bad, which is something you never expected to be true given your derision of the concept.  Void is pretty goddamn alright.

--Oh right, the illness and substance abuse probably caused plenty of distance between them.

KANAYA: There Was A Feeling I Couldnt Shake That Something Terrible Was Going To Happen To Us KANAYA: Something That Neither Of Us Could Stop KANAYA: A Powerful Outside Force That Would Take You Away From Me KANAYA: And I Couldnt Stop Myself From Thinking That Maybe KANAYA: Maybe That It Would Be For The Best ROSE: Kanaya... KANAYA: I Can Now See That This Is Completely Ridiculous

For some reason, this doesn’t settle my stomach much?  It’s clear Andrew wove this in here so that if you read Meat first, you’d be able to acknowledge readily how this diverged in a way the characters kind of recognize, and... I’m not sure what I’m even saying.  It’s like there’s hope that this is TRYING to take the bad taste out of my mouth, but I don’t believe it overly much.

ROSE: What a relief, considering that we are both going to be young and magically fit literally forever.

Wait, so they DID find a way to extend their non-ascended friends’ lifespans to practical immortality?  Jane’s Life powers?  Something else?

==>

yay jade.  more extended dave metaphors.  calm down stomach.

JADE: i never thought id be thinking of you as my weird nerd friend by the time we were in our twenties

Heheheh.

DAVE: yeah well i never thought youd be like the premiere woo girl on the planet

Had to look up what a “woo girl” was.

Yes Jade go flirt them to death

What she’s planning isn’t a seduction. It’s a public service.

Pff

(And yeah, she’s being pushy but at least she doesn’t go DIRK FAR about it.)

DAVE: its incredible hes driven at least ten people off the site by creating thinly veiled parody accounts of their usernames

Oh my gosh, Karkat’s good enough to ANDREW HUSSIE them?!???  :D

That’s incredible.

Karkat knows damned well what a husband is. He’s been force-fed enough bad movies from Dave to pick up any human euphemism you could name. He still plays dumb sometimes, for comedic effect, to irritate his friends, or simply to avoid a topic of conversation altogether.

Yeah, it was always pretty clear that about HALF of the trolls pretended not to understand something human that they knew about just for comedic effect and they knew it.  :)

It would be pretty easy to mistake his reaction for arousal, so it’s understandable that Jade is extremely surprised when Karkat snaps his jaw shut and chomps down on her hand.

PFFFFHahahahah :D

And yep, Jane cancelled her run at Dirk’s direction.

DAVE: lets all just thank whichever christ was responsible for making whatever decision resulted in her deciding not to do that

*nod nod*

JADE: well i hope she gets a better hobby JADE: there are a lot of less ominous things she could do with her time KARKAT: WHAT, LIKE FUCKING HER WAY THROUGH HALF THE POPULATION OF EARTH C?

Jade pinches his ear and twists hard, smiling pleasantly.

JADE: get fucked karkat

Yeah, this is about the level of violence/threat I’d expect from Jade when anyone slut-shames her for perfectly acceptable behavior.

==>

There is almost no crime on Earth C, and so almost no one locks their door.

Huh.  I guess post-scarcity might do that.

Alright, we get to see Jane being less of a fuckass.

Dirk was the one person on Earth C who took the state of the locksmith industry with the seriousness it deserved.

Pffff

JAKE: Thats my theory at least. Maybe its tommyrot but i have faith that dirk will be back. After all where is he going to go?

Good question that wasn’t answered in Meat, so of course Jake says it here obliviously.

JAKE: I must admit i am rather half rats at the moment. JANE: You’re what? JAKE: Haha sorry that was a pretty obtuse way of putting it wasnt it. JAKE: What i mean to say is that ive been powdering my hair quite a bit today.

Andrew is SO good at making Jake sound completely incomprehensible.

...Ouch, Jane, don’t drink so hard! D:

The “morbs”??

JAKE: Dirk has that manner about him does he not? JAKE: A way about him that makes you feel like whatever you do as long as it does not involve him it doesnt count for dick.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

Hm... is the absence of relevance affecting them, or some other manipulation? It’s not just the LACK of Dirk’s manipulation.

JAKE: Except of course for that time when you were under mind control and had me trussed up in your lair as you pontificated villainously about using me as a breeding stud to create a blood lineage for your incumbent corporate space empire.

A fate Dirk seems to agree with, judging by Meat.  Let’s sidestep that fucking entirely, thank you.

...yeah, I didn’t expect Jake’s response to be any less oblivious than exactly that.

==>

So why DID Callie bring Gamzee back, anyway?  Is there some secret use for him in mind?  Was she manipulated into it?  Maybe BY Gamzee?  Hm.

...alright, priestly with followings.  That ain’t good.  Is he aiming for Clown President MK2?

Everything Callie and Roxy have done and said in this Candy section so far seems creepily contrived, possibly by design.

...okay did they have some kind of weird agreement? Like, “okay John is gonna make his choice, and if he chooses to stay i try dating him instead of you, Callie”???  That’s... no that can’t be it.  Roxy’s NEVER acted THIS oblivious before.  What’s she playing at?

GAMZEE: mY fUcKiN *gUy*. :o) JOHN: ... GAMZEE: My DuDe AnD mY nInJa AlIkE. GAMZEE: mY *hOrN* dOoOoG. JOHN: ... GAMZEE: mY hOrN tO tHa MoThErFuCkIn DoG. ;o) JOHN: waiter! help!

I’m imagining Gamzee now as a sweaty and homeless, unkempt Guy Fieri.

Yeah, this doesn’t look like it’ll be fun.

==>

...Swifer Eggmop.  ¬_¬”

There’s a third member of their social group who definitely hasn’t arrived at the conclusion that his power and influence should be meted out responsibly either. Neither of them speak his name, however. For some reason, it feels like a shadow passing over the sun. A brief spike of pain flickers through Rose’s head, a bolt that strikes between her eyes and splinters out. There is color and light behind it. A vision that tears through the material reality in front of her and gives her a brief glimpse into a parallel reality where things are very different.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

...Pff. Yeah, Rose WOULD mimic the record-scratch gesture.

Don’t invoke “never seeing Vriska again” like that, you’re really tempting fate.

Heh, Rose is finding some Light in the darkness, wanting to do something that’s meaningful on an expressive level with this Vriskgrub business.

Hm... why is my stomach a little less uneasy?

I sure hope it stays that way.

==>

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, ARE THE MECHANICAL GLUTES ON THAT BILLBOARD ACTUALLY PADDED WITH PLUSH TO MAKE THEM MORE LIFELIKE?

Heck Yes

...Yes, touch the butt, Karkat.

Jade, pouting a bit, glides in between them and uses her Space powers to teleport Dave’s phone out from the center of his traumatized palm and into the pocket of her sweater.

Hm!  So she still has teleportation abilities over a limited range even without her Green Sun boost, that’s nice.  :D

After all, where would these two pitiful beta boys be without her?

Oh my fucking god stop being Dirk, Jade.  And never use that narrative language again, even in your head.  Heck, even if Dirk’s the one WRITING this still, don’t even think CLOSE enough to think those words.

...yeah this sounds like an Active player class taking things slightly too far.

Thank you, Karkat, for drawing the consent-line in the sand.  Looks like Jade’s backing off a little.

--hold on, wait, Dave kissed him? He did, so why is-- let me read back up--

Dave doesn’t answer. She answers for him by leaning down and planting a dry, affectionate kiss on Karkat’s cheek.

Okay I misread this line earlier.  Jade kissed Karkat when neither of them were looking and is BLAMING Dave.  Hmm.

Alright, Dave ollies outie.  Karkat tumbles down some hillstairs.

Jade could probably catch him. Actually, she could easily do it, but it doesn’t seem like the kind of favor you should do in a fledgling kismesissitude.

Thaaaat’s a little presumptuous??

JADE: well i guess im eating grub spaghetti alone JADE: *again*!!!

:C

I’d be sadder if you didn’t bring it down hard upon yourself but

:C

==>

Yeah, John, better clear up this Callie business because it’s muddy as heck why Roxy would just drop everything to try things out with you.

Ah, we’re bringing up the gender identity thing on this side too, hm?

More serious talk, this is good, reading reading...

The glasses clink together clumsily, and water gets all over the complimentary breadsticks.

Oh no.  This had better not be Olive Garden.

ROXY: no one else has ever made me feel like this

--not Calliope???

What the heck is even going on.

Dave’s coming for some bro help it looks like.

==>

It’s hilarious how much Dave is freaking out about this, and how completely in-character it is.

JOHN: holy fucking shit. JOHN: there’s a gay snooze button? DAVE: yeah man theres a gay snooze button JOHN: wow.

I love these two’s conversations

......wait, Dave’s been holding off on kissing Karkat because of what he thinks JADE might think???? D:

JOHN: i almost managed to forget that she was trying to fuck you and karkat.

Pfffffffff  :D

Yep.  I love it being put so bluntly.

Reading on... yeah, for some reason I also always figured that the end result of a nice three-way relationship between those three people would be Jade and Dave essentially both just glomming onto Karkat more than each other?  Hm.

JOHN: i mean... it doesn’t sound... JOHN: *canon*?

...I hope you’re just talking about his coin flip explanation and not DaveKatJade.  >:(

John wonders when talking to Dirk has fixed anything for anyone.

Nod nod.

She grins up at John with shimmering, adoring eyes. They’re reflecting every star in the sky, all for him.

Seriously, what the hell.  Is Roxy hypnotized?  Putting on an act?  A voidy act??

I’m not doubting that Roxy COULD feel that way about John, I’m doubting the suddenness and the way Calliope is being deliberately ignored in the situation, which is so goddamn obvious that JOHN is uncomfortable about it.  There’s something seriously strange going on.

It itches at the back of his head, the idea that he might have just fucked up Dave’s entire life.

D:

Alright next post after a bit of breakfast.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 5 (Cont.)

Tsubasa ruminates about her current situation in her Symphogear Brand Safety Capsule of Absolute Dunces.

“aight ive done seen the light lemme at that sweet, sweet taco bell”

Meanwhile, some old ass politicians rumble about Relics.

“im old.”

But they immediately get fucked up in a nasty car accident.

As it turns out, the Americans were waiting to intercept these old crones to steal The Goods.

And holy fuck are they are American. Personally, I feel the writers of Symphogear watched Die Hard and immediately went “these people are fucking animals”. That’s just me, though.

“ooh ouch oh mmm ouchie ouch oooo ouch”

They tear into these people with an almost machine like efficiency.

These people don’t fuck around. There’s a strange surreality around it given that this is honestly pretty accurate to how brutal special operatives can be, but the Japanese accent they have in their English voices is... a bit jarring.

“IM BACK FROM THE MALL, YA’LL”

“oh god she’s back”

“ah, ryoko. as per your lingo, quote, ‘i like your new gucci boots... bitch’ was that good? im not fond at cursing at women unless its a mutual training session”

Genjuro alerts that the Minister of Defense for Japan has just been assassinated.

“shits bad”

Conveniently... Ryoko’s phone was broken. In her defense, it’s 2012. Battery life didn’t have the bragging rights it had now for phone.

“i personally use a razer flip phone. those will never go out of style!”

Ryoko manages to show them the box the Americans were trying to get. Suspiciously...

There’s a bloodstain on it.

So the main struggle right now is that the Bad Guys(tm) want to get their hands on Durandal, which is a completed relic that is hidden away miles underneath the school in the 2nd Division Labs.

This musty, old, shitty sword has immense power. Almost Godlike.

“hey why dont we just use the sword to beat up the bad guys”

The sword was handed from the EU to Japan for Japan to safekeep, and in exchange to forgive some of the loans the EU owed Japan should the EU economy collapse.

How topical.

“i read a lot of beserk and honestly im pretty sure someone beats up the bad guys with that dumb sword”

“listen nerd, we’re not doing that dumb weeb anime shit. we’re taking this sword to a vault to the bottom of parliament.”

“thats right. who needs anime when you’ve got nicholas cage.”

And so, they plotted to deliver this dumb sword tomorrow.

Ryoko logs into Runescape.

Fun fact: Fulcanelli is a reference to this dude, who was a French alchemist whose identity nobody really knows. Alchemy is a concept that will come up during GX that has no relevance whatsoever during these first 2 seasons except in some passerby jargon. This as just a cute thing I wanted to point out.

You know, that’s a pretty sexy sword upon closer examination.

“thats the dark souls of swords”

“ah! a fellow gamer! im glad that you too partake of the souls of darkening. would you like to play a two player match somtime, fellow Gamer?”

“I would genuinely rather eat shit for the rest of my life!”

The scene ends. Alright, where are n-

Oh God we’re back to this bullshit. Okay then.

Miku, reasonably, is upset that her wife is gone for several hours for increasingly sketchy reasons. Much like an estranged wife going to see her “tennis instructor” for “private tennis lessons” in the “safety of their house, which has a tennis court”, Miku is worried that Hibiki is a liar liar, pants on fire.

Nose the size of a wire.

Hibiki, feeling the fear of God, quickly bails this increasingly tense situation.

Miku is suffering, and so am I with this hamfisted writing.

“you didnt even try the cookies i made out of frustration for you. i designed them all after me with increasingly angrier faces”

“im too young for a divorce. fuck, those cookies smelled good”

Hibiki decides to not sweat it anymore, opening a magazine and WHOA WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I DONT REMEMBER THIS WHEN DID HIBIKI GET HER HANDS ON THIS OH MY GOD

“HELL NO IM MARRIED THE DEVIL CANNOT TEMPT ME”

Hibiki closes it up to reveal the relevant part of this magazine.

This is subtle, but it’s basically a vehicle to explain how things are covered up for Symphogears. Ogawa walks in, talking about how this headline was his doing.

“i wasn’t joking when i said we were literally the NSA”

Hibiki is happy that Tsubasa has been freed from Metaphor Limbo, having escaped the Water Metaphor Dimension back into real life.

“she literally wont stop talking about taco bell and honestly its killing me inside”

“shit ill get her some”

Ogawa does some schpiel about teamwork and asks Hibiki for an idea on what to do with Tsubasas image even though he’s supposed to be the manager and it’s just general prattle.

Everyone gets briefed about the delivery. Ryoko’s soccer mom van sticks out like a sore thumb. Nobody on the Lydian campus asks why there are 5 cars outside the building with men in suits and fucking Hibiki standing there with them why are these children so fucking incurious.

“this feels like the world’s most important weed delivery, but im going to deliver the SHIT out of that weed”

“hibiki please its not weed”

“ALRIGHT FAM LETS DELIVER THE SHIT OUT OF THIS WEED”

Big thick black cars surround Ryoko’s tiny vehicle as they all drive in unison to the drop point.

No fucking around here. The weed must be delivered.

The weed? Secured as shit.

“its not fucking weed it’s a goddamned french sword okay god”

“ROAD’S LOOKIN’ A-OKAY FOR OUR WEEEED DRIIIIIIVE”

PSYCHE, NO IT AINT. ROAD’S CRACKING UP HARD. COMES APART, CAR FUCKING EXPLODES!

“oh my god we seriously arent fucking around here those guys are fucking dead”

“bruh you never delivered weed before? that shit happens all the time”

“anyway grab on to something ‘cause we’re gonna initial d this shit”

“i thought we were delivering WEED not SUSHI”

“WEED... SUSHI... IT’S ALL FUCKING METAPHORS, HIBIKI. AND WE’RE GONNA DELIVER EM!”

“now ORDER UP, MOTHERFUCKER”

Every car is destroyed.

Ryoko flips the car like nobody’s business.

“ryoko! the kansai drift was too strong!”

“your delivery’s late, pal. that’s gonna have to come out of your tip.”

“jokes on you! you already paid the tip beforehand online!”

“oh, we’re going with pizza jokes now? is that what we’re doing? yeah, sure, whatever”

Unfortunately, Chris ordered her pizza with meat, extra crispy.

“FUCK, i cant see anything. now i don’t know if they have the weed- i mean, the sushi- er, the pizza- god i hate all these JOKES”

RYOKO SUMMONS A FUCKING SHIELD OUTTA NOWHERE WHILE HIBIKI’S KNOCKED OUT COLD

“yo hol’ up a moment did this pervert manage to summon a shield”

“are- are you able to fight the noise? are you fucking kidding me? this entire time when literal children were fighting these battles, you literally could have fought back effectively? are we but mere playthings to you? is this really the bullshit im seeing?”

“uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i can only make shields. piss shields, out of piss”

“that is absolute fucking bullshit”

“but i believe it.”

Hibiki has primed her fists and is about to show how much she’s improved combat wise, which is actually a lot.

Nevermind, she tripped again. Turns out, Symphogears fight in heels constantly, which is absolutely fucking horrifying. Hibiki realizes this, and then

FUCKING BREAKS THE HEELS LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS.

AND THEN SHE WRECKS SHOP WITHOUT BREAKING A GODDAMN SWEAT

“oh shit how the fuck did she improve this quickly”

The suitcase where the sword is stored opens up. That means it’s activating.

Immediate fear.

“alright bruce lee you mightve mastered a thousand kicks but you better change your gameplan because im about to realign that pretty little face of yours”

“thank god you kicked me. needed you to get closer so i could kick your ass, after all”

The fucking suitcase, I shit you not, pops open immediately with the sword flipping to the sky like a bad Gmod toy as it suddenly stays floating, perfectly still.

“ive officially lost track on what the hell is happening”

The sword just floats there, as a sword does.

“you know how many fried turkeys i can cut open with that bad boy? that shits mine now.”

Chris goes to get it.

“fuck you! im going to slice HONEYBAKED HAMS with that sword!”

Hibiki intercepts it and takes the sword.

Now Hibiki becomes a proud Stand owner, having acquired the power of The World and stopping time at will.

“oooooh holy shit”

Hibiki, now channeling the power of Durandal, feels the raw strength of a completed relic all through her body.

Real spicy stuff running through her veins.

The power unleashing itself into a raw stream of piss skyrocketing into the stratosphere.

“the pizza has been delivered... all according to plan...”

“...she was right. honeybaked ham was the superior meat to slice...”

Hibiki is channeling a power source so ancient, so powerful, that through using her as a conduit, the sword actually finishes itself into its full, completed form.

Holy shit, Hibiki.

Goddamn. That’s a really sexy sword, actually! Pretty nice...

...oh.

You’re not looking so hot, pal...

“why is it that every opponent of mine can literally asspull all this garbage and im stuck here looking like a bad kamen rider villian getting my ass kicked every time. its not fair.”

Ryoko looks extremely hyped for this event. Maybe a little too much so.

“MAN FUCK THIS NONSENSE IM PUTTING AN END TO THE SUPER SENTAI POWERUP”

“O-OH FUCK- uh, i didnt say that. totally swear. you uh, keep doing that. yeah. aha.”

“SLICED...”

“...HONEYBAKED...”

“oh god. oh god. im sorry. im sorry. im so sorry. oh fuck im so sorry. honeybaked ham is better. fuck turkeys. fuck drumlegs. fuck any sort of fried meat. honeybaked ham is better please im begging you dont vore me or slice me in half IM BEGGING YOU OH GOD”

“...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!”

“ham..... mmmmm... honeybaked ham....”

“WHO YELLED ABOUT HAM? god, im hungry now.”

Hibiki wakes up from it all after passing out, expressing a power of magnitudes unheard of, as if it were all a bad dream.

“YEAH THATS RIGHT WE HAD TO DELIVER THE WEED PIZZA AND I WANTED HAM AND- THE SWORD, YEAH! THE SWORD!”

To her disappointment, amongst this wanton destruction, no ham was found. Ryoko clues her in that Hibiki just single handedly completed a relic, and though the entire place is a mess, the mission wasn’t a complete failure. They’ll just have to return the relic back to base, now the entire location is, conveniently, destroyed.

“yeah yeah. the weed made it. the sushi made it. the pizza made it. what didnt we deliver today?”

“...”

“singing really does make you hungry, huh?”

[lavellenchanted]

sam riegel used “reveal nott’s backstory”: it’s super effective! I am emotionally compromised

I have ... complicated feelings about the backstory as a whole? on the one hand I love the story, it’s tragic and painful and explains a lot about nott and recontextualises so many of her previous moments and interactions, and I also love that despite the big reveal it’s very clear that nott is still nott. all the little quirks and traits that make up her character were there in veth: the collecting, the speed and quickness that are the base for her rogue abilities, the self-sacrificing, seeing things in other that they maybe don’t see in themselves. I’m fascinated to see how this story and arc plays out (and I’m also glad that she’s not, y’know, trying to insert herself into someone else’s life). 

on the other hand, I loved sam taking a race traditionally coded as evil and turning that on its head and playing with those ideas of nature vs nurture and whether your origins have to define you, especially following scanlan who had such a powerful, personal prejudice, and I’m ... a little disappointed, I guess, that that idea has essentially been nullified. (at least for now; yussa’s goblin secretary means we might still see some of that from matt, but it’s unlikely to be front and central). 

other thoughts:

I was speculating about the drowning thing and I really wish I hadn’t been right

personally I think caleb was telling the truth about his name, I don’t think it makes sense in context for him to lie unless caleb is already a far far darker character than liam’s letting on - which I don’t think he is, I think he’s walking a dangerous path but has not crossed the line back into evil yet

I’m also dreading whatever other little awful tidbits about caleb’s background liam’s keeping up his sleeve until the opportune moment 

I understand why in this case caleb didn’t reveal every detail of his story, but the fact that they essentially all agreed to try and be honest with each other and he’s still holding the worst back makes me nervous

especially when it leads to jester innocently asking things like “do you think these people you knew would have the power to change memories?”, ouch

“oh jester, I’m so glad you see good in me” - I just. can’t. 

beau becoming more confident in using the cobalt soul to open doors is wonderful to see and all her interactions with geoff were gold

also caleb holding her for support and her putting her hand over his to reassure him was so sweet (in a terribly painful way)

I’d like to thank laura and travis for the quality fjord/jester moments because my heart would not have survived this episode without them

her trying to counsel him to be cautious and then backtracking and complimenting him when she thought he was hurt was delightful

nott: “you’re very loveable. don’t you think so fjord?” fjord [softly and shyly]: “yeah” me: [screaming]

the whole conversation about blink

I feel like with caduceus’ mission, the three creations of the betrayer gods, the mystery surrounding xhorhas and the beacons and the cerberus assembly we’re seeing the frame of the main narrative emerging but we’re lacking the details that ties everything together and makes the full picture

I’m excited to see it though, I feel like matt’s building towards something big

possibly a couple of things, following a simpler pattern to the chroma conclave/vecna

with beau and cobalt soul tying with caleb and the corruption of the cerberus assembly and the empire that needs to be brought down

while fjord and uku’toa, caduceus’ quest and yasha and kord tie into an ever larger threat of a gods being unleashed and a possible second cataclysm? maybe with the war between the empire and xhorhas having an effect on what’s happening there

travellercon as a wildcard that could be relevant to either, or something else entirely

finally

please bring ashley back for a xhorhas arc

[dotthings]

SPN 14.09

*does the called it dance*

There’s a dance party going on, I know a lot of people called it. I am un-shocked, but filled with evil glee. Er...I mean this is very painful and going to be painful and it’s going to be a lot of suffering but this is also a mood

All right who wants actual character thoughts now that I’m done flailing around screaming.

Is Cas...eating the cookie cereal? He’s eating the cookies. He’s making contented crunching noises. Cas doesn’t need to eat, but he’s eating. I feel like I said something recently about Cas becoming more human, slowly, oh right, it was about him actually being drunk in 14.07 on a few bottles when back in S5, even at low power, he needed an entire liquor store. Now he’s eating cookie crisps cereal. That scene was cute af, btw and ties back to what I’ve been saying about Jack’s increasing emotional IQ. He talked about worrying about his mom because of the threats to Heaven, and then brought up Castiel’s deal, because it worries him. 

Oh, yes Sam and Dean can know about the deal but Cas doesn’t want them to so it won’t “burden them.” CASTIEL WINCHESTER YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. Only no wait, but it is a burden and Cas realizes it and why it is a burden, because THEY CARE ABOUT HIM A LOT AND CAS KNOWS IT AND THAT IS WHY HE DOESN’T *WANT* THEM TO KNOW. As I said in my sneak peek commentary, it’s not anger or being caught out Cas fears. He simply doesn’t want to make them worry, make them sad, or scared, for him. He doesn’t want to be a burden but it’s too late, they all love him. 

We’re inching more and more here towards Cas realizing just how much or he wouldn’t very specifically and deliberately be hiding this secret because he knows how much it will worry them and Sam and Dean will scramble to find a way out for him and fix it and it’s almost like Cas hates being the center of attention and worried over. He has to be the strong one, not the one who needs help. This is how Cas keeps going.

Dean and Cas in an actual junk-yard scene (ok technically a recycling facility), I am still not over this and never will be and all the things I already yelled about after the sneak peek was released. Dean and Cas starting far apart with the Impala as negative space between them, but not negative space because that’s one of the show’s biggest symbols of home, then moving closer and closer like magnets until their shoulders are brushing. Screw you Dean and Cas and your acting married body language. 

Cas talking to Dean about how happy Dean seems, Cas looking super uncomfortable about not!telling Dean about the deal. I already posted about this but let me recap now that I’ve seen the whole ep--the “win” thing went right over Cas’s head because he doesn’t know, but the audience does. But Cas is mainly all about not!telling Dean about the deal and wow all my pre-game meta on this about Cas not wanting them to worry and that’s why he’s secretive got vocalized in the cereal eating scene in the kitchen. So. There you go.

Dean talking to Cas about what Sam and Cas went through when they were possessed in relation to his own experience, thank you Robert Berens for openly vocalizing, finally, Sam and Dean and Cas’s shared trauma, I have been waiting 84 years. 

(Pausing to scream about the January promo which shows Sam and Cas going together into Dean’s mind. I LOVE SEASON 14).

Which btw now that I’ve brought that ep, Cas’s worry about Sam touchstoned several times in this ep gives me feelings. Dean and Cas were both worried about him...and then Sam and Cas are going to team to save Dean. 

TFW and TFW 2.0 are both running concurrently strong in this season. There’s the interplay Sam, Dean, and Cas have, with its long seasons of history, and there’s the Sam-Dean-Cas-Jack, which is newer territory but slowly getting its hooks into my heart. They’re all valid, with their various relationships therein. 

Garth, awww. Admittedly I was not warm on this character when he first showed up upteen seasons ago but he’s turned out to be a really great part of the SPN world and a good friend and thank goodness SPN didn’t kill him. 

Sam and Garth friendship *draws hearts*.

Garth saying he’s doing this for his little girl is interesting,  it’s him talking as part of his cover, but has a double meaning because it’s also 100% true he’s just lying about which side he’s really on. He is going dangerously undercover to help stop Michael, thinking of his child’s future, to protect the world. While we had Cas just last week sacrificing himself to save his son. Which echoed back to Jimmy Novak sacrificing himself for his daughter. 

I like Sam and Jack working together, with Jack having taught himself lock-picking on the internet. For a moment I thought Jack was going to say Dean taught him and I was a little sorry it wasn’t that, but interesting Jack said “I like to keep myself useful”--that’s the Cas part of him talking. He is still trying to prove himself without his powers. Skipping ahead here as relevant--back to Jack’s slowly increasing emotional IQ and his character development. Because I was wondering if things would get to that, with Jack on strong enough footing to start looking after his dads, and it’s starting. He talks to Cas about the deal. Then when hyper-charged Garth knocks down Sam, Jack tackles him to save Sam. Which was stupid and brave, nobody hurts moose dad when Jack is around. Having been saved, and sacrificed for, Jack’s now moving more into a position of being part of the team, looking after others. 

And not, note, taking on a parent role, but he is looking after his dads as they look after him. I am really curious in fact how Jack is going to talk about possessed Dean now. The arc about Jack’s knee jerk comment about Michael Dean early in the season has been addressed and resolved before this ep, and they’ve bonded a lot closer since...so I’d really like to see how Jack is going to deal with it. 

I’m completely distracted by Dean and Cas inside the recycling facility looking for Dark Kaia and the spear, all of it, the way Dean and Cas move together, work together out in the field, which we don’t get to see enough of, I am transfixed. They have this silent rapport we’ve seen all the way back to late S7 at least and the BAMF power couple vibe going on, what with Dean’s strength as a hunter and Cas’s powers and warrior attitude and I’m just going to sit here and scream quietly to myself about that whole sequence for a minute.

And then they’re BICKERING oh my god so married shut up, until oops Kaia sticks the spear against Dean’s back and Cas just says “Dean” as a warning and he goes so incredibly still holy shit--with the point of that spear threatening Dean. Cas wants to surge forward and Dean waves him down. *yells a lot about Dean and Cas and their thing* Cas is so very protective of Dean here it’s doing things to me.

Dark Kaia’s little face is tugging at my heart. Who is it she’s protecting? Yes, why is she there, I need answers, I need to know what’s the link with her and Kaia. I need more of this please. S14 being what it is I think I’ll get it, just not right now.

The TFW 2.0 power walk set to Ode to Joy. I FEEL SO CALLED OUT RIGHT NOW.

Badass Dean having the moves with that spear, after being a goofball with it in the garage...I think there really isn’t a weapon Dean can’t use, pick up quickly how to use, plus he’s used similar weapons and adrenaline, he instinctively could use the spear. He’s not as good as Kaia, and guess what people, it is 150% okay he’s not as good as Kaia with that spear, he’s not supposed to be. Kaia has thousands of hours with that spear and Dean doesn’t, but look how good Dean is instinctually. 

Ouch my Dean feelings. Well I’ve been saying and saying the Michael Dean story wasn’t over and here we are and like many people ran with the sleeper agent/back door hack theory and here we are. The snap. Good god damn Jensen is excellent. And TFW 2.0 looks as ragged and stunned as the last Avengers standing.

So Michael has access to all of Dean’s memories. And Dean just “wouldn’t stop squirming.” Because of his ties to his family.

To you...to all of you.

For me and Jack, and family.

You’re going to bring him back...you’re going to bring ‘em all back.

I love you...I love all of you.

And you really can’t dismiss Destiel here while saying w*ncest is valid, because then you’d have to say the Destiel is valid. But the fact of the matter is these are different kinds of relationships, in canon. It makes sense that Sam got a more singular shout-out but then Michael adds the “all of you.” Sam is the most constant figure in Dean’s life and he is closest to Sam on a lot of levels. There’s bound to be a lot of Sam in Dean’s brain. But it’s not just about Sam. 

This is something SPN keeps underscoring in triple day-glo yellow highlighter. Nor does it fit to claim that because of this scene, therefor it proves Sam is the only most important one because in other storylines, Cas has also been demarcated out as different/unique in how Dean feels about him. BTW, seeing a romantic reading for Destiel doesn’t mean having to then say oh w*ncest is then therefore canon, because it’s just not, and those relationships are written completely differently. The canon undercurrents are completely different. Sam and Dean’s bond is what it is, and it’s strong, it is platonic and intended as platonic, while Destiel is...ambiguous in intent, in canon. For non-shippers, say the relationships are brothers, and like-brothers, and leave it there. It really is more complicated than that on the Destiel front, but I talk about that plenty in other posts, right now, I’m really thinking uppermost about Dean and his family. Sam isn’t the only one tethering Dean and keeping him fighting inside Michael. That was for all of them. So this was a bro bond shout-out that landed at TFW 2.0. 

And look what’s in the promo...Sam and Cas going together into Dean’s mind to try to save him. Dean’s closest to Sam, Cas is close to Dean in other ways. They both have a bond with Dean that is unique and strong and I’m just going to have to go sob in the corner that SPN is really going to do that and have them go in together and poke around in Dean’s mind to pull him out of this. Using the same method Dean used to go into Mary’s mind. *small keening noise*

Also I refuse to accept Dean is really as down and out in there as Michael claims. But maybe he’s buried himself deep in some sort of happy mental spaces. Which is something I was thinking about before the season started, and then they didn’t show us and I let it go but maybe it’s going there after all. 

[waitingtobeimpressed]

The Silent Serpent Part 2

Chapter 2 - “Absolute Bloody Asshole!”

Sweetpea x OC

Warnings: Sweet peas Attempts at flirting with Mae. (Trust me it was painful to write)

Word count: 1344

The picture is mine and I did, in fact, create it. And umm if you didn’t notice it can kind of only be used for my story because it has the title of the book and my name in it Sooooooo……

I also did not create Riverdale but some people get salty about not making that clear. However, I did create the character of Maeble Mikaelson/ Forgarty and all the relationships she forms. So. Yeh.

Yes her name is Maeble Mikaelson. For a bit of context, her mothers maiden name is Mary Mikaelson and her Fathers name was Fish Forgarty  (It’s complicated), She prefers to use Forgarty as her last name because to put it lightly she hates her mother with a passion…

She doesn’t remember her father because he was given life in prison when she was still a baby. We might see more of him in the future though…

I’m still new to the whole Tumblr thing so just give a chance and hopefully, I will figure it out.

History for Mae had always been intriguing, whether it was learning about the impact Egyptian Gods had on the common people of the time to recounting the events of Nazi Germany and the truly horrific influence one human being could push upon a whole nation. Mae loved nothing more than to be taught the victories of wars long ago to the mistakes that crippled the planet, because without disaster there could be no change, and without change, humanity would cease to develop and adapt, Not allowing ourselves to be the best we could be.

However, Mae also clearly understood that all histories have a dark side, that all opinions in some way are completely biased, that we are never really in control.

This fact terrified Maeble. It kept her awake a night with thoughts of what if? How different life would be without all of the evil in the world. Because with the absence of evil would all the good deeds remain? 

Mae held tightly onto the pen in her right hand. Her knuckles going white with irritation. Irritation caused by no one other than Sweet Pea, Head Serpent of South Side High. At this moment in time Sweets was rhythmically kicking the front leg of Mae’s chair going in time with the music that was blasting into his ears from his white headphones. Getting harder and harder with each impact, leaving her on the verge of insanity. The class had only started 15 minutes ago and she wondered how long it would take before she lost it, before she snapped.

Every once and a while Pea would look up at her face through his long eyelashes, smiling and he watched her copy down everything the teacher said, save for a few curse words directed at the class. He Hadn’t moved from straddling his seat but had moved closer to the desk so he could lean forward on the back of the chair, Allowing himself to yet again be the nuisance that Maeble hated with a passion. He knew she hated him and he loved that. He wasn’t sure why though. It was a complete mystery to him. Maybe it was because even if it was negative he craved her full attention.

And without being able to control herself, Mae always surrendered it to him. Always bending to his will before eventually Snapping in two,

“Can you not?, you absolute bloody asshole, I’m trying to work.” Mae finally spat in a hushed tone, forcing pea to tear his big brown orbs up to meet her icy blue ones. He smirked, getting the exact reaction he was looking for. Mae, on the other hand, silently cursed herself, she had given in too easily and now she was going to have to deal with him for the next 42 minutes.

“Ah princess, how I have longed to hear the stunning English accent of yours” he smirked once again. making Goosebumps crawl their way up Mae’s spine, stopping at the nape of her neck.

Mae sighed and looked back at her book, underlining relevant information she thought would be handy since she hadn’t quite heard what the teacher was saying. “ fuck me, I fucking hate you, fuck!” She whispered.

Sweets smirked like it was the only facial expression he knew how to make. 

“ How could you possibly hate a face as good looking as this?” Mae glared at him so hard she thought her head might explode or at least get a killer headache. “ And about fucking you it would be my honour, just name the time and the place, princess”

Mae pretended to think about it before looking him dead in the eye, ” Does ‘Not a chance in Hell even when it freezes over’ work for you?”

“Ouch, Pea you okay buddy?” Toni laughed out as she turned to face them as well, crossing her short legs in their direction.

“Its none of your business Topaz…” Sweetpea sneered as he half turned around in his chair.

“Oh, that heartbreaking rejection reminds me, Mae are you coming down to the Quarry after school, a few of the Serpents said they were going to bring kegs and stuff, and this is the last time we can all go swimming there before it becomes too cold. What do you think?” Toni Suggests as she closes her untouched History book, already deciding the was enough for the day. Mae’s hearts drop into her stomach. She couldn’t go swimming, not in that water, not in any water. Water was Maes biggest fear as stupid as that sounds. She couldn’t stand the thought of jumping in even if she was surrounded by all of her closest friends. She couldn’t stand not knowing what she was swimming above or how peaceful the Lakes and Oceans looked before they became nasty.

“How the hell does that remind you my rejection?” Sweets cuts in before Mae has time to muster up an excuse. He glanced back at her, meeting her gaze until she shied away from it. He is the only one aware of her gut-wrenching fear, he knew this because he is the one who saved her when some jerk thought it would be funny to push her and a couple of other people, including SP, over the bridge and into Sweet Water river after a particularly bad fight between the Serpents and the Ghoulies. As soon as he plunged into the icy cold water his thoughts went to Mae, did she get pushed as well or did fangs manage to get her in time. He shot up, gasping for air. His eyes scanning from each of the people until he settled on a girl, thrashing her arms about, choking on the water. Sweets swam so fast it physically pained him but he didn’t even think about stopping until his arms grasped her waist and pulled him flush against him. Mae was crying, her blue eyes bloodshot. She was trembling with fear until she just stopped moving completely. She had fainted in his arms either due to the cold but most likely because she was petrified. Sweets swam her to the shore to where fangs and Toni were and carried her bridal style to them where they proceeded to wrap her in blankets. Sweetpea made up some story that she had hit her head on the way down, so no one knew the real reason. Mae had just woken up to hear him before he walked away to get cleaned up himself. She would never forget that night as it still plagued her dreams.

“ Because sweet pea, I had ‘rejected‘ the idea until I saw Mae was back in town, and for good for this time. right?” Tomi eagerly smiled, tapping her pen on her closed book.

“Hopefully, unless I get kicked out again” Mae mumbled, looking down at her book until her attention was ripped away from it.

“So is that a yes?” Toni pushed on, going to get the answer she wanted even if it killed her.

“I haven’t gone swimming since I was like ten, Toni, I have nothing to wear even if I did want to go. I’ll just watch” That was a lie which caused Sweets to turn and face her again. He knew that she had never gone swimming and she knew that he knew. Mae raised her eyebrows at him a silently begged him to keep his big mouth shut about it. “ ill keep the kegs company.” Mae said with a forced smile and sweet pea knew was bullshit.

“Okay if that’s what you want to do, hey maybe sweets will keep you and the kegs company, he never swims with us anyway” Toni pouts and turns back into her seat. “ oh and sweets can you give her a lift, I’m going home first and I think fangs’ has an after-school detention again” she grins, knowing exactly what she was doing.

Sweetpea just looks at me and nods his head, smirking that god damn lopsided smirk” Anything for my princess”

[hegagergerk]

My reactions to The Last Jedi

I have mixed feelings about The Last Jedi. There are some aspects of it that I loved, but there was a lot that I really didn’t like. I’ve seen it twice, and each time I left the theater thinking, “Well. Huh. I don’t know what I feel.” I felt this uncertain about The Force Awakens, for comparison, but I left Rogue One knowing I liked it.

I also want it known that I am a fan of Rian Johnson and his work. I LOVE Brick, and Looper was pretty great. So I was pretty excited going into this film.

Perhaps, if this had been the first in a trilogy, I might be able to overlook the parts that I don’t like, as I did in The Force Awakens. But this is the second part - the meat of the story. And honestly, the whole thing felt gamey.

SPOILERS (and unpopular opinions) under the cut.

Pros:

It’s a beautifully shot, visually striking film. 

Adam Driver shirtless

Adam Driver, period. Love that boy

I love what they’ve done with Luke (the grumpy old hermit schtick), and I loved what little time we spent on Ach-To. The location was beautiful, I loved the Caretakers and the Porgs, and I loved Luke’s take on the Force and the Jedi.

Rey Random is the best answer to her backstory and the explanation I was hoping for. I loved the mirror cave sequence. It’s an even better touch that not only were they random people, but they were awful and neglectful. Ouch. Didn’t think they’d go that far.

I love that Rey and Kylo want to fuck each other. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I’m okay with Luke trying to murder Ben and then regretting it, even though I understand why many people are not. I actually really like the exploration of Luke’s character, and the digging into his personality flaws and weaknesses - namely, that he was prideful of his own legacy, which gave him several blind spots with regards to his nephew, and led to his biggest failure as a Jedi. It’s true - it is, initially, out of character, but I think this lapse in judgment was more horrifying to Luke himself for that very reason, and resolves for me, at least, why he would isolate himself like he does. 

I liked Luke’s death. I liked that it’s hinted that he was ready to go, anyway, and he got to go out heroically in the end.

I LOVED Luke and Leia’s reunion. Oh my god. The tears. I just. Can’t get over it. Especially knowing that Carrie Fisher wrote that scene? Fuck me

Cons:

It feels like 3 different films crammed together into 2 ½ hours. One of these films, I very much wanted to watch, but was never given enough of (Rey’s story). Another of these films, I wanted to want to watch, but found myself losing interest as time wore on (Finn’s story). The remaining one - I could have done without entirely, and I ended up resenting completely by the film’s finish (Poe’s story). 

Some of the humor worked, but a lot of it really didn’t - especially the gag about zapping dudes into walls at dramatic/semi-dramatic moments (Hux, Poe, and Finn). Granted, humor is pretty subjective, but for comparison, I either loved or had no issue with the humor in both The Force Awakens and Rogue One.

The preachy bits were REALLY. FUCKING. PREACHY. Like, dude, I agree with the points you’re making, but wow, I’d appreciate if you didn’t insult my intelligence by being so god damned ON THE NOSE about it. I thought this movie was about ~ambiguity~ And yes, I’m talking about the “don’t abuse animals”, “it’s a WAR MACHINE”, and “men don’t respect feminine women” thing. I felt like these moments were 4th-wall-breaking and did nothing to serve the story or the characters, not to mention being out of place in a Star Wars film (Star Wars is cheesy, but not THAT kind of cheesy).

Rey’s part of the story ends about 2/3 of the way in. After her battle with Kylo, she pretty much disappears from the narrative, only making a quick cameo at the end of the film. Seriously. The movie pretty much belongs to the male characters after she confronts Snoke. 

Rey never truly suffers any lasting consequences for her choices, whether emotionally or physically. Compare this to Luke’s defeat by Vader in Empire, which leaves him physically maimed and emotionally broken and betrayed. Rey is sad when she admits the truth of her parentage, yeah, and she’s not happy when Kylo usurps the First Order command, but even if this betrayal devastates her, we don’t get to see her break down under these revelations. It might be hard for Rey to acknowledge her shitty parents, but does verbalizing this hinder Rey in any way? Does it introduce an obstacle that seems impossible to overcome? Is it truly her lowest point? Ask the same questions of Kylo becoming the Supreme Leader, with regard to Rey’s feelings. Is this betrayal on the level of Anakin to Padme? Hell, even on the level of Obi Wan to Luke? Rey wrestles with Kylo over the lightsaber, nopes the fuck out, and then magically appears on the Falcon, hollering jovially about how swashbuckling and fun it is to be gunning down the First Order. In other words, she feels like she’s had an easy time of it. We really needed a scene where she shows some emotional wounds - whether when Kylo is passed out and she’s about to leave him, perhaps looking down at him with longing and sorrow, deliberating on why she should, but can’t, kill him - or whether at the end, sharing pain with Leia. But it’s like her failures don’t touch her or her story.

I’m a huge Reylo stan, but I’ve got to be honest - Kylo and Rey’s dynamic, while easily the most intriguing thing about the movie, ended up being severely underwhelming. Four conversations, and then she’s ready to go-to-bat for him? When they were touching hands in the hut, I literally was like, “Wait. Is that it? Did I blink and miss something?” They chopped Reylo down to the barest minimum of relationship progression, leaving out a lot of story-telling beats that would have bridged the gap between their antagonism and their intimacy. I felt cheated out of their story, and I really wanted to be on board with them, considering their shared loneliness and character comparison/contrast was something I was extremely excited about going into this film. I’ve read one-shot fanfics with more elegant development than this film.

I’m NOT a Snoke stan, nor was I terribly interested in his backstory or in coming up with random ass theories involving his backstory, but damn. Snoke’s abrupt dismissal from the narrative, despite being an awesome scene in isolation, feels cheap retroactively, and I can empathize with the fans who feel let down about his meaningless identity (especially when they were taunted by LF for giving enough of a shit to come up with theories about said character). The truth is that, since the sequel trilogy takes place within an established universe - and Star Wars, at that - we, the audience ARE owed a bare minimum amount of explanation for Snoke’s existence, his power, and his goals. Where was he 30 years ago, when Palpatine was in power? If you can’t at least give me something, my suspension of disbelief is shattered. And no, it’s not my fucking job, as a member of the audience, to fill in the blanks with regards to basic storytelling. At this point, why the hell couldn’t Snoke have been Darth Plageius? Or Palpatine reborn? Or whoever the fuck. If any further context had been given to him, it could only have added some meat to the story - its not like this information would have detracted from Kylo’s killing of him (if anything, it would have made that moment even more awesome). I mean, you had to hold my hand about “evil arms dealers” and “animal rights” and “she wasn’t interested in LOOKING like a hero”, but you can’t give me some damn context for Snoke? And no, I don’t give a fuck that Palpatine had no backstory in the original movies - right, we knew everything we needed to know about him, which was that he was a super powerful Force-wielder who took control of the galaxy. I wasn’t wondering, “Hmm, I wonder where that other super evil bad guy was 30 years ago while he was coming to power!” about Palpatine, because there was no frame of reference for that - and now, with the prequel trilogy, there’s definitely no need. But hey, for Snoke? Yes. Yes, that sort of information is relevant here. Even your most basic bitch casual fan left The Force Awakens wondering, “I wonder what that Snoke guy, who is most certainly older than 30 years of age, was doing three decades ago?”

Finn’s whole story was underwhelming, as much as I liked both he and Rose together. Nothing of consequence came of their story, whether by plot movement or emotional revelations - save that he decided, somewhat sloppily, to die for the Resistance (because he didn’t want to be an apathetic asshole like DJ, or whatever), only to have his choice undermined at the last minute. Nothing about his arc resonated with me. Perhaps because there just wasn’t enough time devoted to him? As much as I hate the whole “Finn is always sidelined uwuwuwu” discourse, I have to agree with them here. Furthermore, I feel like his prior-stormtrooper-ness is totally irrelevant to the portrayal of his character? It was bad enough in The Force Awakens that he didn’t seem affected by having to kill his fellow stormtroopers, and it has continued to be irrelevant in The Last Jedi. I was really hoping for some sort of moment where he and Rose connected over the deaths of Paige and his stormtrooper brethren, people killed while fighting in militaries, whether by choice or by force. This personal soul searching would have been much more poignant than the preachy babble (none with which I disagree, let it be noted) we got. I mean, the revelation that the Resistance and the First Order both get supplied from the same people who vacation on Canto Bight doesn’t really add anything - stakes, revelation, dimension - to the actual story. Like, do I suddenly not care about the Resistance getting blown out of the sky? Should I actually root for the First Order to wipe them out, so that the war will stop? Does this information seriously tempt Finn away from the whole stupid conflict? Does it change ANYTHING for ANYONE? (Hint: It doesn’t). 

I absolutely hate that Poe is being groomed to be Leia’s “good” son. Like, if I could kill something with fire in this movie, it would be this. I absolutely hate that Leia didn’t even spare her son and her brother a backwards glance at the end of the film, when they set off to flee through the caves. Perhaps this wouldn’t sting so much if Carrie were still alive and there was a chance of filming a reunion and reconciliation between mother and son, but that is not to be. 

I hate that Poe, who is NOT a main character, who was a perfectly killable side character in the previous movie, actually has the most dynamic arc in the whole film. Somehow, in a film that is supposed to be about a young woman, and in the midst of several intriguing female characters both old and new, it’s the most boring male character who gets the most agency and screentime. (I love that people were worried that Kylo would usurp Rey, but honesty…it was Poe).

Poe also has a higher kill count than Kylo Ren in terms of people who died because he was a Stupid Male, and yet Kylo Ren is the villain whose redemption is merely teased, as opposed to set into action? I mean, Poe was better at wiping out the whole resistance than the actual Supreme Leader, but nobody thinks he needs a redemption arc? oh, I guess he Learned From His Failures, so its all good.

Anytime someone said “spark”, I died a little inside.

“Hope is like the sun” - kill me now please

Leia spacewalking is an idea that I like on paper, but thought it was awkward in how it played out on screen.

Wow, so, Finn and Rey - two characters I was dying to have reunite - have NO actual dialogue exchanges. But we have enough time for Poe to say Hi to Rey but like Poe is the main character now don’t you know Like, what the fuck.

Okay, venting done.

[theastrophilearchitect]

Recent reads #2.

Hello! ‘Tis the day after the first one of these was posted, but I already have another book to talk about. So, here’s ten books I read recently.

1. Bridge of Souls by Victoria Schwab (Cassidy Blake #3)

This is book three in Schwab’s Cassidy Blake series, a middle grade series focused on a twelve-year-old girl who recently had a near-death experience, and, ever since, has been able to see ghosts. More than that, her parents have started filming a TV show about haunted places, and Cassidy has to learn to navigate the Veil beyond the world of the living while trying to fend off malevolent spirits.

Book one takes Cassidy to Edinburgh, book two to Paris, and this brings us to New Orleans. It’s just a short, easy read, without complicated subplots or hundreds of pages of build-up. It’s not one of those books where you have to reread the series to understand the sequel, because it gives you a recap, and it’s just great. Great for someone of middle grade age, and great for a reader who just loves Victoria Schwab.

Rating: 4 stars.

2. The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (The Kingkiller Chronicles #1)

This book is absolutely enormous, and reads like the longest prequel ever written, despite the fact it’s the first book in a series.

I listened to the audio version of the first book in the Kingkiller Chronicles, and I don’t even know how to blurb it. I liked it, but not enough for a 28-hour audiobook. I liked it, but not enough to listen to its 42-hour sequel. I want more from such a long book.

This book has insanely high ratings and is so raved about, so I gave it until about halfway through before I realised it probably wasn’t going to pick up. But, I’d already invested so many hours in it, I had to get that one extra for my Goodreads goal, which I now realise makes no sense considering it took me an entire month to get to the end of this, in which I can usually read four or five.

It didn’t feel like it followed a typical story structure, and it felt less like a series of plot lines weaved together than a domino effect, which feels to me very much like a prequel. It was well written, with interesting characters and an interesting world, but I expect more from a book so long.

Rating: 3 stars.

3. Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo (Nikolai Duology #2)

Oh. My. LORD.

This is the second book in the Nikolai Duology in Bardugo’s Grishaverse, and I can barely breathe (speaking of which, Shadow and Bone, out now, on Netflix). Book one, King of Scars, was enjoyable, but not especially exciting, especially as the successor to Crooked Kingdom, speaking of which: I was unaware there was going to be a fourth Six of Crows book. As I was reading this one’s denouement, it definitely felt like Bardugo was setting up at least one more book in this world, another heist, starring my beloved, Kaz Brekker. Nina Zenik, the Crows’ resident Heartrender (ish) has had a perspective throughout this series, but the other Crows (bar Matthias, for obvious reasons) were also in it, and I was trying to figure out the relevance, but I suppose it’s for the next Crows book.

ANYWAY. This was so much more exciting than book one, though there were certain things that felt irrelevant aside from as the set-up of the next book, but it was so entertaining, and I liked how it wrapped up--a note though: I don’t see how Nina could be involved in the next Crows book, but we’ll see.

I just barely even know what to say, except that King of Scars was relatively standard, but this blew it out of the water (not quite Six of Crows level, but I just love the grey morality of that duology).

Also: yay for trans rep.

Rating: 4.75 stars.

4. Scythe by Neal Shusterman (Arc of a Scythe #1)

I read this a couple years ago, got bored, and finished it as an audiobook. It was pretty standard, but then the last book in the trilogy, The Toll, came out, and I realised just how big this series is, so I wanted to give it another shot.

Scythe is set in a utopian future, in which death has been eliminated and immortality has been reached. The population still increases, but the AI that governs Earth can provide for it. However, people still have to die eventually. Citra and Rowan are taken on as apprentice scythes, the Reapers of the world, the only sources left of death. But one scythe has never had multiple apprentices before, so it is decided only one of them will be ordained, and when they are, they will have to glean the other.

I’m so glad i reread this. Initially, I felt very similarly to how I did the first time round: the characters were flat and unlikeable, and there was too much telling. However, this bothered me less over time, the characters became more interesting, more likeable, and oh my lord the ending. Rowan really reminds me of Julian Blackthorn, except i actually like Rowan. But not Julian. Screw Julian.

I would still argue this book is a little overrated, but this time, I’ll definitely be moving onto the sequel.

Rating: 3.9 stars.

5. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Oh, my Lord. This book is so hyped up, and I wasn’t expecting it to be nearly as good as it was. I didn’t particularly enjoy Monique’s part of the story, but I was so invested in Evelyn’s story, I listened to the whole thing in two days.

This is told in the form of a journalism interview, in which an unknown journalist is invited by Evelyn Hugo, aged Hollywood starlet, to write her biography, to be published upon her death. Evelyn tells the story of having to ignore her heritage and go through seven husbands just to be with the love of her life against the odds of the film industry, and you can’t even imagine how good this book is.

I so rarely cry at books--have never ugly-cried unless it brought up something in my real life--and I have never, ever cried at a standalone, yet here we are.

I don’t want to say anything else, because only an hour into the audiobook, I googled fan art and spoiled myself. So don’t do that, just read.

Rating: 4.9 stars.

6. Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare (The Last Hours #1)

My Lord. Honestly, I tried to pick up The Red Scrolls of Magic before this, and though I love Malec, I found I just didn’t care. Also, the font in my copy is different to in every other Shadowhunters book I own, which sucks.

As for Chain of Gold: this is book one in Clare’s fifth Shadowhunters series, set in 1903 and following the children of The Infernal Devices characters as demons begin to appear again in London after a period of silence.

This is absolutely the more hyped of the recent Shadowhunters books, and starting this, I really thought I was going to give up. It’s 590 pages and I’d already read thirteen books in this world (now fourteen), and it reads so much more like a period romance than it does a fantasy book. I didn’t think I’d care, but then I hit the 300 page mark, picked up motivation, and finished it in two days. I don’t think I enjoyed this as much as The Dark Artifices (though I can’t comment on The Infernal Devices, because I read the trilogy two years ago) but it was excellent.

It took me a while to learn who was who, who was related to who (it took me at least 400 pages to figure out whether Thomas or Christopher was the son of Gideon or Gabriel, though I somehow never forgot Anna was Gabriel’s daughter), and all I could think was that Shadowhunters must be incredibly inbred.

TID/TDA spoiler: I knew Tessa was with Will before Jem, but it was still weird seeing her with him, she and Jem having been together throughout TDA.

By page 100, I already wanted James and Cordelia to be together, but part of me was also shipping her with Matthew. Part of me still is, and his conversation with Lucie (I think) at the end my god. Ouch. 

The social norms in this seemed a lot more prevalent and old-fashioned than in TID, but that may just be because I don’t remember TID so well, or because there were just more people about in this one.

This book is 590 pages long, but the climax was done with by page 510. Falling action/denouement is my least favourite part of a book--I know they have to set up the sequel, but I hate it, because it barely feels like it’s building to anything. And eighty pages. 

I remember when Chain of Iron came out, everyone was complaining about Alastair, so I was really expecting him to be evil, but he wasn’t. At least not by the end of this.

I hate Grace so damn much, but this did manage to keep me interested in the world of Shadowhunters. This is probably the most beautiful Shadowhunters cover (sans maybe its sequel) but the spine looks weird on my bookshelf--it doesn’t match the TID or TMI ones, where they form an image, and it doesn’t match the TDA ones.

Rating: 4.4 stars.

7. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

I read Circe a couple years ago, and enjoyed it, but I was just waiting for it to end. Circe was good, but The Song of Achilles was so much more human.

People talk about how sad this book is, and I see why, but it didn’t do it for me. Like I said for Evelyn Hugo, I don’t cry often at books, especially audiobooks, but Evelyn proved it was possible, and this is meant to be such a sad book.

That said, Achilles and Patroclus’s relationship was so cute, and so very, very gay, as you’d expect. 

Anyway, this is essentially a retelling of the life of Achilles, Ancient Greek demigod, told through the eyes of his mortal lover, Patroclus, throughout his training with Chiron, legendary centaur, and into the Trojan War.

I listened to this in a couple days, because it’s not that long, and, needless to say, I can’t wait for Miller’s next novel.

Rating: 4.5 stars.

8. Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman (Arc of a Scythe #2)

Oh. My. God. Scythe was good. It was incredibly well-written, but it was fairly standard enjoyment-wise. This one, on the other hand... I don’t have words. Mostly I’m still just reeling from the ending.

A couple comments: this book’s protagonist was very much Citra, where book one was more balanced between her and Rowan, and this is basically a sci-fi The Raven Boys. Maggie Stiefvater and Shusterman have very similar writing styles, and I love it.

I really don’t want to say too much--I was unsure where the series would go in this book, and it’s very clear where it’s going next, and I can’t wait to get to it. (Though I am reading the next Last Hours book first.)

Rating: 4.66 stars.

9. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green (The Carls #1)

I feel like I open every summary with ‘oh my god’, but here’s the thing: I’ve been having such a good reading year, and I also just don’t finish books I don’t enjoy. I DNF them, I don’t rate them, and I leave them be.

I started following Hank Green on TikTok last year, then I started watching vlogbrothers on YouTube, and figured I ought to read their books, see what their writing’s like. I haven’t got to one of John’s books yet, but I did get to this. This and its sequel are Hank Green’s only original novels (though I’m sure there’ll be more) and I’m so, so glad I read this. (I’m also so glad I enjoyed it, because I would hate to watch today’s vlogbrothers video having hated this)

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing takes place as April May (yes, that’s her name. It’s weirdly adorable) and her friend come across an enormous statue in New York City, and, assuming it’s some art installation, they make a video about it. Then they find out their video blew up as sixty-four of these statues appeared in cities across Earth out of nowhere.

That’s it. That’s all you need to know. Go read it.

The audiobook was excellent, and I think it was a really great format for this story. The last chapter is from somebody else’s perspective, and we’re treated to the beautiful voice of Hank Green.

Rating: 4.8 stars.

10. Turtles All the Way Down by John Green

I think it’s becoming clear I get through a lot more audiobooks than I do physical ones, which is partly because I just have more time for them, and partly because the books I listen to are generally shorter than the ones I read. Also, I’ve been reading a bit of manga recently, which I don’t want to talk about until I finish the series (but I will. I may even write a whole post about it).

Turtles All the Way Down follows Aza Holmes as she and her best friend investigate the disappearance of a billionaire whose son she used to know, but the story isn’t about that. It’s about Aza’s anxiety, and it’s a really beautiful insight.

I’ve struggled with anxiety myself, but never to an extent like Aza, which I believe is based on John Green’s experiences. Books like this are so important for representation, so people suffering similarly don’t feel like they’re going crazy.

I’ve actually owned a tote bag for this book for a couple years--I got a free one from the bookstore when it came out, and I’m so glad I can now say I actually liked the book on my tote bag.

Rating: 4 stars.

And that wraps up this Recent Reads.

[happyholywhole]

Everything must go…” This is the sermon title to one of my favorite sermons of all time, by Sarah Jakes Roberts. This powerhouse woman of God, uses this phrase over and over to describe the clean up of the Holy Spirit. Letting go of what no longer serves you for what God is about to do.

God has been dealing with me about alcohol. I’m not here to debate moralism or theology. I’m just here to tell you my part in the story.

You see last year, I had a dream. If you have known me and my walk with the Lord at all, you know I’m a dreamer. Over the years the Lord has used dreams to direct me and comfort me. And the enemy has used dreams to haunt me and torment me. But I have learned the difference between a God dream, an enemy dream and a soulish dream (a dream that is just coming from my soul or the pizza I had for dinner.) This was a God dream.

In the dream, I was in a church. Brandon and I were there for some sort of church gathering. I was standing in the church pew. I was holding onto a wine tumbler. It was filled with stout beer.

There were other aspects to this dream, but nothing too relevant to this topic. As is my habit, I documented this dream in my phone when I woke up. I do this because I don’t usually have the interpretation when I wake up. This gives me time to mull it over without losing the details.

As the days passed, I thought about this dream. What did the wine/beer represent? I looked it up in dream dictionaries. Could it represent the spirit of God? New wine?

One day, I was sharing it with a good friend. As I repeated it to her, I said, “I was holding onto it…” Then it hit me, “Oh shoot, I was holding onto it. I’m holding onto it. Do you think I am holding onto alcohol?” She was a great listening ear but we didn’t really come to any conclusions. But the spirit had sparked me. That was it. I was holding onto it. I didn’t want that to be the interpretation but there it was.

Over the next few weeks, He began to give me confirmation. One day, I was listening to a podcast. A woman on there begins to talk about how she felt the Holy Spirit ask her to give up wine for six months. She lives in New York City and drinking wine is widely accepted in Christian circles. She obeyed. This sparked me again. Then, literally the podcast host says, “Hold on. There is someone listening to this podcast that the Lord is asking to give up alcohol. Obey the Holy Spirit and give it to him.” What?! I drove down the road stunned and even a little irritated, I knew the Lord was calling me out! (I wish I would have realized then, that He was calling me up!)

Within a couple days, another confirmation came. A devotional app that I follow sent me a notification. (This doesn’t happen a lot, not even every week. It is a very random thing.) Here is what it said, “Sometimes, God will instruct us to do things we may not want to do. Please be reminded that we were bought for a price and our lives are not our own.” I was blown away again. Not only was this speaking so specifically to this situation but it was using a verse that I had memorized and stood on during my time of singleness. He was using MY verse to speak to ME! 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “ Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God with your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” Ouch. The devotional app was right. This was something that I did not want to do.

I like wine and I like dark stout beer. I don’t get drunk or drink every day. (This is called gray area drinking). But my coming to the Lord is a story of freedom from alcohol, tobacco, etc. Many years after my redemption, I didn’t drink at all. This was quite the feat for a recovering party girl. It was proof of God’s hand on my life. I remember one instance, my first hair show, sober. God gave me a scripture that morning before I left for the show, “God is within her, she will not be moved.” (Psalm 46:5) I knew He was telling me that He was going to give me the strength to be sober and to resist temptation.

As I sit here today, and remember that girl and remember the struggle I have had with this subject over the last year, it isn’t only the taste of the drink, or the feeling it gives me. It is more about the way I feel excluded when I’m not drinking. Like I’m being punished or that other people are disapproving of me, or that I am being left out. This is a soul issue, this is the place that I believe the Lord wants to heal.

That is why the Scriptures are so important! As I’ve been wrestling this issue lately, I have also been training for Holy Yoga. Holy Yoga incorporates scripture into your yoga practice. In one of my training videos, the leader talks about 1 Samuel 15. I watched this video once and it didn’t really strike me. I watched it again and it did. What did that scripture say? What is it about? I read it and the Lord used it to truly divide me. Divide my thoughts from what He was saying to me.

1 Samuel 15 is the story of Saul's disobedience. The Lord tells him to do something and he only partially does it. He does mostly what the Lord says, but He doesn’t completely obey. And the Lord is mad. He regrets making Saul king. Saul repents, but it is too late. Samuel tells him that to obey is better than to sacrifice and that rebellion is like witchcraft. Ouch!

You see, in this time in history, today, we can be a christian culture that makes up its own rules. Let me say, I don’t think all drinking is wrong for a christian. I don’t have that all neatly wrapped up in a nice theology box. But I do know one thing, God gave me a dream, He showed me that I was holding onto it. Then he sent me several confirmations. He was asking me to let go of alcohol. And I did, for a while.

He reminded me when I caved. Social situations. When I wanted to be part of the group or enjoy the evening. For me, drinking has become more of a prop. A symbol that says, “I’m relaxing.” “I’m celebrating.” Just like cigarettes used to represent freedom and being cool, I’ve been believing the same lie about wine and craft beer. I have spent the last six months drinking here and there. But over this quarantine, he has really been dealing with me on this. Meaning I have drank some and I have felt no peace for days after. I don’t like that feeling. I’m done feeling that way.

Don’t get me wrong, do you. I am writing this more for me to be honest with myself than I am trying to convince anyone else. I don’t judge you. I honestly wish I could drink a little and not feel days of regret or a severe lapse of anxiety or have my sleep cycle interrupted. But I can’t. So please, if you see me, and we are in a social situation. Know that I honestly have no opinion about your drinking. And I hope you can have the same about me not drinking. But if you have been having some internal dissonance (not complete internal peace) or your body has been experiencing some of the physical symptoms after casual drinking, consider that maybe alcohol is causing some of your anxiety more than it is relieving it. Private message me if you want to have some solidarity on this topic I have some great resources.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 14

oh boy Here We Go, its time to die

ngl I've been putting this off bc I'm not ready to be destroyed hhhhhh

oh god. overlords giant fuckgin face on the cover. I regret everything

ohhh some good ole functionist flashbacks 

is this momus the same guy as senator momus from the shadowplay stuff? lemme say...class traitor

and then some garrus 9 flashbacks, ft chromedome’s snarky interjections. my man you are Not gonna be on the ups much longer oh lord

this is reminding me that I really do need to read the wreckers stuff

chromedome, stop posing jauntily, I'm trying to prepare myself for emotional devastation and you aren't helping 

cd bringin that emo theater kid energy

and here's megatron! well, flashback megatron, but still

megatrons head looks so fuckin weird there

love the thematic (and extremely plot relevant) use of ‘til all are one’ here

WHY is megatrons bucket helmet removable. I hate it 

also overlord is so big gay for megatron its unbelievable 

the name ‘heretech’ is A Lot lmao. right up there w/rigor morphis in the puns category

cd hhhhh this is why you don't talk to your captives in this sort of situation...even to make snappy comebacks, but especially not to TELL HIM YOUR PLAN....now overlords all worked up over megs being alive and yall are screwed

ah, some good old weird birth/re-birth vibes going on here, classic jro

like he literally tells megatron ‘congratulations...its a superwarrior’ god hvbdkhjfbjsf what is it w/jro and pregnancy/birth/reproduction themes

but also like I Kinda Get It bc that IS a pretty intriguing thing to explore w/an alien species like the transformers, who are living machines...ok ill strap on my biologist boots later and get into that when its more relevant lmao 

cd is breathtakingly un-genre savvy here. my man you should have never gotten involved in this oof

overlords weird ab guns are weird

uh no! now overlord is in the drivers seat, and smiling unsettlingly with his creepy lips

its brainstorm!!! I love him

SOUNDWAVE I love soundwave sm he’s just the coolest and best

is that trepan that overlord grabbed? I'm assuming it must be but I have a terrible memory for these things so I don't really remember what he looks like lmao

IS THAT PHARMA

also damn cd rlly b out here committing war crimes/crimes against humanity (crimes against cybertronians? that phrase doesn't really carry over well). the fact that the secret government lobotomy & brainwashing labs populated the ‘good guys’ side is....hhhhhhwow

cant believe cd’s real name is tumblr 

also I love the misdirection from cd not disclosing his ‘real’ name, which leads the reader to think that he’s secretly a different established/important character...but nope!

ahhhh and the reversal of cd and overlords positions in-panel so we can tell that Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong even before we zoom out to see cd in the chair instead of overlord...nice

love how prowl & co made up the whole ‘whiteout vacuum’ thing to lie to the people about overlord...yall really do be breaking moral laws left and right huh

the continuing hilarity of prowl referring to rewind as chromedomes ‘friend’ despite knowing full well they're married...and now that it’s been revealed in-story that they’re married, its just str8 up funny instead of funny AND meta 

is tarn a phase sixer???? genuinely I don't remember lmao

I feel like I could write an essay abt how interesting it is that prowl is so insistent on figuring out the whole phase sixer puzzle and making autobot phase sixers, despite the war being over (and with the autobots having won it, too). like, that's yet another fascinating psychological reaction to the never-ending civil war ending

and the way that prowl is able to rope multiple people into this scheme, which shows that he’s not the only one who thinks that way

aw, bumblebee still has a few morals, unlike most of the rest of anyone. too bad it certainty didn't help anyone in the case of repairing overlord

like, cd is RIGHT, they don't need their own phase sixers - and especially cause like...they won against the cons without any phase sixers already, so whos to say they cant win again the same way? smh prowl 

god I love the exchange here....prowl subtly threatening chromedome, while also calling cd his friend and probably meaning it genuinely, and chromedome looming menacingly over prowl then pinning him down and messing with his head...ooooof. 

also that panel of cd shadowplaying prowl and prowls face is just super blank...sinister as hell, i love it

also also, I'm actually really glad that that plot thread of ‘cd was complicit in what happened to dominus and rewind doesn't know’ didn't end up happening

I also find it a little funny that this very intriguing scene didn't end up going anywhere in mtmte, but from what I've heard the whole ‘cd rearranged prowl’s brains’ thing had big consequences for prowl in exrid or w/e, which is interesting

brainstorm wearing a version of perceptors targeting reticle eye thing...hello....

also I like the fact that they subtly establish when this is taking place by showing brainstorm working on the humansonas, which means this was before the last issue 

drift brainstorm chromedome shaking hands meme: making stupid decisions bc they listening to prowl for some reason

drift, this is Not the way you should be going about showing your dedication to the autobot cause

brainstorm is on a totally different wavelength than cd and drift hvbfdskhfdskjf brainstorm is just here to have a good time and maybe cause some chaos

the tablet saying ‘project: end in tears’ TOO REAL the tears are from ME. AUGH

hhhhhhhhhh the fact that cd did all of this bc he wanted to protect rewind from the war maybe restarting....ouch :( love makes you do stupid things sometimes

I cant get over how h*rny overlord looks...like I cant even describe it, its not necessarily that overlord himself is h*rny, or even that he’s drawn h*rny in the sense that he’s sexy or provocative...he just has those Vibes. this makes no sense except in my head ok

overlord escaped....no way! who could've seen that coming! probably anyone with a brain who isn't blinded by trauma and/or a misplaced sense of duty/love....Ls

AND HERE’S OVERLORD, READY TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP. GODDD

never over the panel of overlord grinning maniacally and cracking his knuckles with the text ‘next: massacre!’ cheerily overlaid 

GODDD this issue god....I mean we haven't gotten to the soul-destroying parts yet but this stuff is so intriguing...the nuance is THERE! and this is basically what we’ve been building up to for all of mtmte so far, and Oh Boy is it gonna be a big one, you can just tell....