#its not the fans' fault all but two of them were basically cast from the story immediately after their flash game intros HELP

[villainvillain]

"literally why do people like the dancestors, all but two of them are boring one-note stereotypes entirely irrelevant to the story" < worlds most boring homestuck fan

[hishighnesstheprincess]

MY HATER POST

literally made a hater post just to talk about stuff in the sonic series that I dont like ❤️ if you don't like this post then fuck you block and/or blow me. this is disorganized as fuck btw and i dont care

sonic frontiers was the best mainline sonic game in over a decade but thats really not saying much

i think tangle is kinda boring and whispangle is kinda boring by proxy. whispers cool tho

surge is the best rival sonic character since blaze and the only thing dragging her down is that sonic in the idw comics kinda sucks as a character

its great that we are getting more female characters in idw and the games but quite a lot of them are kinda boring and we still need more female villains

metal sonic is basically nothing but a jobber in idw rn and its really depressing

idw please treat the babylon rogues better, theyre goofy characters with serious storylines just like basically every other sonic character, stop making them NOTHING but a joke

lanolin is an interesting character, yall just cant handle women who are even SLIGHTLY rude to a fan favorite character

the worst part of idw is that its tied to game canon because they cant shake up the status quo too much or have character arcs for most of the main characters

rouge is ABSOLUTELY a sexualized character and always has been. learn to like a character despite the faults in how they are portrayed or shut up about it

sally was the best canon romantic partner for sonic and you cant change my mind

the second worst part of idw is the titular character himself

i dislike surg/amy because of the age difference andalso the fact that everyone wants to disregard surges character to have her be redeemed

if sega is going to keep teasing son/amy then they should just stop dancing around it and make them canon already, make the shippers happy and get the drawn out agony over with for the rest of us. also age amy up for the love of allthat is holy

also, sega should stop ship teasing ships they have no intention of making canon in general, its shitty and edges into queerbaiting when done with gay ships

the above does not apply to whispangle

idw art is overall much much MUCH better than any other sonic comic and its not even a contest

there are a lot of things i disagree with about the current state and direction of this franchise but we are in a much better place than we were even just two years ago and we should be glad for all this success

the worst parts of archie are the most atrocious things that this franchise has ever put out, in art, storytelling, basic morality, etc.

most of the popular ships in this fandom suck ass

unless sega stops rushing sonic team and actually gives some resources to them we are never going to get better than 7/10 games. corporations are not your friends and you dont have to thank them for giving you a mid product

sega should have been sued into oblivion for the literal seizure inducing state sonic colors ultimate was released in and we should never, ever let them forget it

remain skeptical about every single sonic game until release, we've had "WERE SO BACK" moments before that turned out to befalse

the edm in sonic frontiers cyberspace slaps but isnt as memorable as previous sonic soundtracks

stop ghosting sonics friends (sonic frontiers, sonic prime, sonic dream team) its kinda weird and puts way too much importance on sonic again. this is a good cast, USE THEM

sonic frontiers dlc being hard wasnt a bad thing, the jank, glitches, and lack of fairness were bad things that tarnished the experience

the games have never ever been properly translated from japanese into english and that is just an objective fact. but also dont shit on people for only having interest in the english version, you have to go WAY out of your way to get a good translation and that's on the franchise, not the fans

this franchise's "canon" has been fucked since the original classic games, trying to fix it in the sense that you can somehow make every little detail perfect is a lost cause. just pick and choose what you like

of all the characters that deserve a game to themselves blaze deserves it the most. girlie has a whole other dimension that we could explore can you IMAGINE an open world game in the sol dimension COME ON

if lots of people are criticizing something you like then you should give some consideration to the fact that they may have some points instead of just disregarding it as people being nitpicky and nasty. you dont have to listen to it but if you dont do that then you cant dismiss it out of hand either

the stories of sa1 and sa2 arent even the best stories in this franchise

06 sucks ass and no amount of "potential" means jackshit when it comes to actual quality. if we're just evaluating "potential" then congratulations everything ever made is a quality product have fun with that

its okay to games with goofier and lighthearted stories

team dark are just friends

i prefer amys hammer to the cards

let this franchise have its edge back. but also let sonic be cute. they arent mutually exclusive

keep good physics and momentum in the games for the love of god please its what this franchise was built on

sega of japan may do characterization better but the closest brushes to death that this franchise has ever had (Dreamcast, 06, Forces) were all on them as well

this might be the hottest take of all time but sonic team shares some of the blame in how a lot of sonic games turn out very bad, its not all on sega

stating that some sonic-inspired games (spark the electric jester and freedom planet) or sonic fan games (project 06) have turned out better than actual sonic games is kind of objectively correct but youre a dick if you say it just to make sonic fans feel bad about the games or themselves

if you ONLY consume sonic media you need to branch out more. for your own health please

flynn is neither the worst person to ever walk the surface of this planet or gods gift to the sonic fandom, practice some moderation in your opinions people

i think discourse is good, actually. except for when it harms people. and fictional characters do not count as people

sonic frontiers open world biomes are boring and nowhere close to most open world games, even ones from a decade ago

silver was never sonics rival

it would be nice if we could go back to having smaller games on handheld consoles coming out on a regular basis while mainline sonic games come out once every couple of years on a bigger scale and higher quality than weve been getting. and no locking games behind apple arcade PLEASE

sonic lost world isnt a terrible game or a good one. its just weird and boring

sonic riders was fun and its a travesty that it got downgraded into generic cart racing games

sonic unleashed daytime stages are the best boost stages in this entire franchise because they actually rely on quick decision making and reaction times instead of just smashing your way straight through the entire level with little to no effort

the werehog combat sucks ass and the fact that its super slow and super long and takes up like 75% of the time youre playing the game is why unleashed isnt peak. sorry

stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill STOP IT

a lot of fans of sonic do not understand what they are talking about and that includes me a LOT of the time

sonic himself cant just be whatever the writer wants him to be. the reason characters are characters is because they have certain character traits and you cant just change that without getting a different guy, im sorry

archiehad the worst moments but the sonic movies are the worst adaptation overall

the above will change if movie 3 kills off shadow or tom. then the worst adaptation will be underground

game sonic being a static character is cool, actually

sonic fandom is sexist as fuck and that includes the tumblr side of it

sage getting revived in a post credits scene was lame. give us more time before confirming shes alive

the sonic twitter takeovers are not canon. no, not even if you think a thing they said on it was funny

they should let female characters be naked (dont make this weird) and give the boy characters outfits sometimes

amy having a crush on sonic is totally fine but they took it WAAAAAYYYYYYYY too far at many, many points. i dont care if its funny amy threatening chris in x or intimidating cream in various games (battle, rush) was NEVER a good thing

rouges design does not need to be changed, it needs to be framed and posed in less sexual ways

rouges heroes and prime outfits sucked ngl like just from a color and design standpoint like theyre kinda ass and overcomplicated and an eyesore

if sega is gonna age the characters up they should actually go ahead and post the new ages on some official channel, dont just leave us in this horrible limbo where we have to argue with weirdos online about who youre morally okay to thirst over certain characters and whether a different voice counts as a character becoming an adult

the fact that the main official english sonic account only posts memes and advertises hilariously overpriced """"""""products"""""""" kinda sucks tbh. i have to go to other language accounts to get stuff like concept art and celebrating the anniversary of a game the released a year ago. were well past the era of laughing at sonic just for being sonic, now lets act like it

stop harrassing people involved with this series even if theyre doing an objectively bad job. thats a real person and you should care more about them than you do a fictional character

the above DOES apply to ken penders. hes a piece of shit but still a person

criticism =/= harrassment. this goes both ways

cream IS a hero thank you very much

reference to a thing you like does not equal good character writing. critically, it does not equal bad character writing either

amys not a damsel in distress and hasnt been in over 20 years. if we count characters just getting captured as being damseled then congratulations, sonic himself is a damsel in distress (Forces), apply that shit equally across both genders

ryan drummond was the best english va, but jason got the better scripts. roger is getting better and most of the work hes been given is just. bad. so i dont feel okay judging his work. but he is my least favorite

gameplay>story when it comes to the actual games, every time. if you have a good story to tell its only hampered by being in a shitty game

worst game in the series is sonic colors ultimate. say what you will about 06, forces, rise of lyric, or whatever other game. at least they werent literally physically dangerous to play

all the main female characters in the games are asskickers, they just need to be utilized more. as does every member of the supporting cast

the sonic franchise fucking needs to stop having long gone ancient civilizations. please have new ideas

this is the end of the list. go away

[whenanangelfalls]

The Guardian article perfectly illustrates where the problems lies with the hate for the Prequels, the bashing of Hayden’s performance and everything that is wrong with basically every single article documenting the return of the Prequel cast in Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

The toxic but loud minority of SW fans has been only a small part of it; the real culprits have always been the media that have been bashing the movies ever since they came out. No, even before they had come out - there is literally an article/review which criticized George Lucas and the Phantom Menace even before it completed post-production. For more than 20 years, they have been constantly, unrelentingly, demeaning, attacking and insulting the three movies with the same sort of backhanded comments and jibes: too much CGI and not enough practical effects (even though the Prequels had more practical effects than the OT and ST), too much green screen (all the sci-fi and fantasy movies have been made on green screen and blue screen ever since, including the ST and Marvel movies; The Volume is awesome but basically only the SW series use it now so it’s everything but widespread), George Lucas writes terrible dialogue (the PT has literally the same type of dialogue as the OT,  which the writer of the article admits to by mentioning Harrison Ford’s comment), and so on. Imagine it, for a quarter of a century the same comments all over again, copied and pasted.

The media outlets and its writers want to shift the blame to the fans when it’s been them all along who have been harassing the actors with their awful articles. The only thing that has changed in the recent years is that they want to exonerate themselves by shifting the blame on the fans and Lucas’ “terrible writing”, claiming it hasn’t been the actors’ faults and it’s time to “forgive them”. This article is the perfect example. The writer puts himself into a position of a magnanimous and understanding listener, ready to bestow his forgiveness and take the blame from Hayden by putting it on George, saying in every second sentence he writes that the Prequels were terrible movies, while Hayden, on the other hand, gushes about the Prequels that they are masterpieces and George is a genius. The article has two levels: the journalist shitting on the Prequels and Lucas and Hayden defending and admiring them.

Hayden has always had only fond memories about the Prequels, not only now as the writer suggests. He has never said a single bad word about them or George Lucas. The only bad memories he’s had are of terrible articles about him.

This is the one thing that really sucks about coming back from hiatus and returning to the Star Wars fandom - nothing has changed, especially the things that sucked about it.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 4 

it’s my birthday week! *raises a glass of pink milk* 

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 4 - oh noes my babies are all so sad! Teen angst for the win. Tropes included: crying in shower, a very significant hand hold, & striped shirts. (At this point over half the cast has been in stripes.) 

Love Machine Ep 1 - not gonna lie, I barely made it through the first half, this is a short run LOW budget experimental web series and it’s not good. Dropped.  

Lovely Writer Ep 9 - I like it when LW gets serious because there are fewer dumb sound effects, but oof Aey, poor baby. How many Aeys have I known over the years? Rejected, broken, angry, lonely, and lashing out. On a different note, I haven’t see the “sex drug made us do it” plot device since 1980s Johanna Lindsey. Props to that cocktail rearing its ugly head. (yeh yeh) ZOMBIE TROPE ALERT. (Is this the point where I remind the world at a-play doesn’t have to hurt? Well, it doesn’t! Toys, prep, and lube people. Sheesh.) Anygay, zombie trope is put safely back underground. Please don’t let it rise again? (I KNOW, I’ll stop now.) So this was a rough episode, especially the back end. (Okay now I’ll REALLY stop.)  Seriously tho, BL doesn’t do a massive coming out family drama scene often. I liked LW’s handling of this one. Hard to watch but compelling. 

Close Friend Ep 1 (OhmFluke) - very cute snapshot into a LTR featuring an overworked music producer and his student BF. That’s the chassis for this whole series, each one has to do with the song & is a portrayal of that song’s message. Essentially, the theme of this one was remembering to make time for your partner. I enjoyed that. OhmFluke gave us easy casual familiar affection and a kiss, but no BL tropes, just romance. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 3 - Pi is a total spazz & the ghost story bit was... well, it was something wasn’t it? Lots of tropes: fixing his clothes, wound tending, drag baby around, piggyback, head in lap, hand hold, and ending on a drunk kiss. I just noticed Pi uses guu/mueng with Mork, but Mork’s a year older. (So I have a new entry onto the linguistic brats list.)  So rude and presumptuous. Also I gotta say this, don’t wear watches when you’re working on a cadaver, mmky boys? 

Y-Destiny Ep 4 - look MaxNat have great chemistry, this ep had loads of great tropes (e.g. cheek kiss, rooftop, public claiming via phone), it’s not their fault I’m just not wild about these characters. I do like Nuea’s wanna-be idol wardrobe though. And Sun is sporting the red bag version of Tharn’s black bag that I wanted so bad in TT2. (I wonder if I can score a knock off when I’m over there?) Regardless, I basically grinned all the way through this installment, so that’s another thumbs up from me for Y-Destiny. Who knew I’d come around? Man would I love to see these two get their own series. 

Brothers Ep 12 - teacher/student exposed! But the power of boys on phones will overcome all. No KhunKaow for me, so of course I found this ep tragically disappointing. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 6 - MuRen is officially a yaoi manga character in the flesh. H4′s outright mockery/subversion of tropes “don’t touch him he’s mine,” + “touch my lip & think of kissing” makes the fact that other (way more damaging) tropes are being blithely utilized without critique almost - dare i say it? - insulting. YongJie is trash but I’m the one who feels like trash because I want to forgive him. How aptly abusive & dysfunctional we all are. I don’t know whether to applaud H4 or start drinking. (Maybe this is the show I should invent a cocktail for? Who am I kidding? This is totally a jello shots show.) 

Friend or Lover (Taiwan) Ep 2 - I thought this was only a microfilm but turns out it’s a web series. It’s cute. I’m enjoying it. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 3 - subs take a while to drop but it’s still better than average. I like a secret identity trope, I love a grumpy/sunshine pairing, and the side couple is great but this ep was slow. With only 6 total (I assume) they better get the main couple together next ep or the improved quality of this series will be sacrificed on the alter of pacing issues. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 28-30 - slowed down to focus on bad guys (yawn...ooo Scorpion...yawn again). Then baby gets kidnapped, other baby goes crazy, and old friends turn up. We end on DOOM because mathematically this was an episode 11. All boxes checked.

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 3-4 - how is this show SO DAMN CUTE & weirdly wholesome at the same time? Another one of those: Will Korea resolve this satisfactorily in 4 short eps? But I seem to say that half way through every Korean BL. These days, I have complete faith. Warm fuzzies for everyone. 

Stand Alones

Color Rush movie is the same as the series. There is a stinger at the VERY end (untranslated) but which I’m assuming has something to do with the missing mother. Is this a possible indication of a 2nd season? Hopefully someone will eng sub the stinger and post it out into the universe. So yeah, Color Rush movie = To My Star style, sadly, not Wish You. That said, I did enjoy watching with different subs. The first version I watched was fan subbed, and they were better on English colloquialisms. Viki’s subs are better on Korean colloquialisms. 

Breaking News 

Bunch of new press on Thailand’s I Told the Sunset About You 2 AKA I Promised You the Moon. Here’s a master post on the subject with all the links you could ever want. It will start airing May 27th 8 pm (Thai time) on LINETV.

New Thai Bl Golden Blood got a teaser trailer. Stars familiar side dish Gun Napat (Techno from LBC) as a rich kid who needs a bodyguard. Yeah, it looks to be the Thai version of Where Your Eyes Linger which is FINE. I love me a bodyguard romance. DO EETTT Thailand. Trailer contains ALL the tropes: dry his hair, piggyback, cooking together, and more, plus good smooches. It looks GREAT. Also cheeper to make then KinPorsche and it might get funded due to of residual enthusiasm. Also GOOD TITLE. 

Close Friend got another teaser trailer this one for Talay & Yoon (no subs). 

Taiwan has a new BL coming out... eventually. Looks to be a new franchise like the HIStory series with different couple(s) each season. It’s the first Taiwanese BL from a major in-country network. The first installment is titled Be Loved in House: I Do (seriously Taiwan, could we talk about your titles?). It stars a familiar face, Aaron Lai from HIStory: My Hero. It’s a grumpy/tsundere boss/employee office-set BL with some forced proximity to push them together. (Nods to Japan.) No release date, but (unlike Thailand) Taiwan usually doesn’t make announcements without content & serious intent. 

Gossip 

Taiwanese BL NOVEL Miracle dropped a trailer, no subs or translation. According to YouTube comments it was supposed to be part of HIStory3 but MODC took on its slot. Still it’s kinda fun to see what might have been.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something. 

[nines82]

-- 𝑮𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒊 𝑺𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒊 𝑫𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 -- 1993, fresh off the heels of Dinosaur Sentai Zyuranger, The first outing of Noboru Sugimura in Super Sentai after his work in Kamen Rider and Metal Heroes was a success. Now, as we are aware from my Zyuranger review that I am not a big fan of Zyuranger and I think its biggest issues were characters being basically cardboards and too much central focus on a brother plot that really outlasted its needs. Dairanger shows Sugimura fixing that mistake by giving the entire cast centric episodes and sometimes two parters that flesh them out, sometime deconstruct, and even bring in some really genuinely amazing episodes filled to the brim of that amazing character drama that just tickles the fancy of the viewer who loves good character moments. Dairanger brings that special “umph” that really really nails exactly what you want in a Super Sentai and a tokusatsu show.  Now, while the central cast is stronger there isn’t without the faults of a leech on the belly. For a good chunk of Dairanger, the sixth ranger Kibaranger is a kid who is 100% totally not likable for his early outings. His eps usually end up near the bottom for me in terms of the show’s rather consistently great run. Thankfully, he gets a turnaround near the show’s second half and is definitely way more likable. The show goes bigger, badder, and outright badass at times compared to Zyuranger that makes me wonder how big Zyuranger was of a warmup for Sugimura. Of course, Sugimura had been injecting Sentai into a lot of his shows from his earliest toku outings. Shows like Black for example feel very much like a sixth ranger being put into solo-ing the entire evil organization of a Sentai. Doesn’t help that you can see similar looking entities of the villains from Black in his Sentai outings either. Is Dairanger the best Sentai has to offer? To many, yes, and I think for the most part it is an easy top 5 Sentai ever. But I think Sugimura shows the best he ever gets all around in the following entry Kakuranger.

[badapricot]

Lovely Writer: Count 26, 27, & 28

These are the chapter summaries for Count 26, 27, & 28 which should be included in episode 10 and/or episode 11 of Lovely Writer. Keep in mind that the show is very different and they often cut, change, and move things around.

Count 26

Gene is sleeping in the car while Nubsib drives them home from their parent’s house. It’s raining outside.

Nubsib wakes up Gene because he said he wanted to buy snacks, and they go to Maxvalu.

They go back to the condo and Gene immediately plants himself in front of the TV with the snacks.

Nubsib pushes him to shower so Gene does very quickly before going back to the TV.

Nubsib showers with the door open and Gene watches TV. He sees a promo for Bad Engineer and remembers that the show is being aired soon, so he gets a clip on his phone and posts it on IG. Nubsib comes out when Gene is filming and asks Gene why he didn’t dry his hair well. Gene says it will dry on its own.

People in the comments on the clip point out that they can hear Nubsib saying Gene’s name.

Nubsib dries Gene’s hair.

They keep watching shows and Gene asks Nubsib if it’s awkward to watch his acting and Nubsib says that he has to make sure he’s performing well for his boyfriend, so it’s fine. He wants it so that Gene isn’t able to take his eyes off of him. Gene is surprised when he remembers that he’s the boyfriend.

The next day Gene goes to meet Hin at the cake shop near Nubsib’s university. He’s started basically living at Nubsib’s condo full time.

Hin tells him that Bua wants him to write a special NC chapter for his book.

Hin asks him if he’s going to a book event with Nubsib and Gene says that if he goes with him everyone will want his autograph. Hin asks him why he’s getting jealous of Nubsib like that.

Gene posts a picture of his cake online and forgets to text Nubsib back while he’s eating with Hin. When he puts his hand up to wave for the cheque, Nubsib grabs it. He was able to recognize where Gene was from his IG post and he walked over from the university.

Gene tells Nubsib to eat with him then and Nubsib says he won’t eat cake unless Gene feeds him. Gene says fine, it doesn’t matter since he paid anyway.

When they get home, Nubsib showers while Gene tries to find inspiration to write his NC chapter. He thinks getting the hardest thing (the sex scenes) out of the way first will make it easier.

Gene watches some anime but decides he wants something different and ends up reading a dark BL novel.

“‘Inside the twitching did not stop.’ Do you like r*pe roleplaying?”

“Shit!” I was so startled, my hands closed the book suddenly when the embarrassing conversation in it was read out.

Nubsib sat beside me, the corner of his mouth smiling. “Do you like this?”

“Like...like this?”

“This.” His fingers gently grabbed my wrist, as if deliberately teasing me. “Is my Gene a masochist?”

“No! I’m just reading and using the information for my writing.”

“A sex scene again?”

I felt a little embarrassed. ��Well...you can see.”

Because I always sit and read scenes like this only, Nubsib knows that I have trouble with sex scenes.

“Can I help you?”

Again...we’re in a familiar situation.

I instantly shook my head. “No need, this time I don’t want any realism.”

Gene keeps reading and then retires to bed.

When he does, Nubsib abruptly kisses him and pulls him onto his lap. Gene asks Nubsib what he’s doing and Nubsib says he’s helping him write. 

Nubsib pushes Gene’s shirt up and tells him to hold his shirt up in his mouth. When Gene bites down on his shirt, Nubsib kisses his chest and asks Gene if he likes it, which Gene denies.

Nubsib asks Gene, “Do you like the novel you read earlier? Do you want me to tie you up like that?”

Nubsib holds Gene to him and fingers him before they start having sex. Nubsib eventually asks Gene to start moving himself, if it doesn’t hurt, and Gene starts shyly riding Nubsib.

Nubsib suddenly starts moving and puts Gene on his back. Gene says, “Nubsib...hold me,” and Nubsib holds Gene’s wrists over his head, and holds him. It’s embarrassing and Gene can’t even understand all the hoarse words Nubsib is saying in his ear, but he holds onto him.

While they’re coming down from their orgasm, Nubsib tells Gene, “Let’s take a shower later. One more round.”

Nubsib presses their foreheads together and Gene can’t say no. 

Count 27 (Nubsib POV)

Nubsib thinks back on the sex and how he accidentally made Gene cry. He actually wants Gene to cry more, to feel more, but he has to stop himself from instinctively doing anything violent.

Nubsib sees a red mark on Gene’s neck and touches it. He thinks that if Gene can’t let people know that the mark is his, then he’ll hold it all the time. Or hide it and Gene away, so they’re not seen by anyone.

The phone rings and Gene gently urges Nubsib to pick it up because he’s sleepy.

It’s Tum and he can tell he interrupted them because of Nubsib’s mood, so he quickly tells Nubsib the details about his summer photoshoot. Nubsib tells Tum that he wants to reserve another plane ticket and Tum figures that it’s for Gene and agrees.

When Nubsib hangs up, Gene asks him when he’s going. Nubsib tells Gene that he’s going on the trip too.

Gene says Nubsib has work though, and Nubsib says he isn’t working day and night. They can be together. Gene begrudgingly agrees but says he’s “too lazy to go out” even though Nubsib can see his eyes are shining and he’s very excited.

Gene tries to go swim when they arrive, but Nubsib tells him to wait until there’s more shade. Gene says he has sunscreen but Nubsib tells Gene that he finishes at five, and they can swim then. Gene grumbles but he’s obedient.

Because everyone knows who Nubsib is, Nubsib booked them two rooms and Gene moved his stuff in first. Nubsib will move his in later. They’ll share one room, while Tum takes the others. Nubsib thinks the whole ruse is really annoying.

Tum says he knows he was only invited as a cover for Gene (because they’re friends) but he’s thankful that Nubsib’s letting him stay in a luxury resort room for free. Nubsib tells him that if he’s really thankful he should carry Gene’s luggage.

Nubsib goes to his photoshoot while Tum takes care of Gene. Gene sends Nubsib pictures of a coconut and a crab and other random things he finds, and Nubsib is so happy that a homebody like Gene is so excited to be out.

When Nubsib arrives back, Gene asks if they can swim now and Nubsib says yes. Gene is very excited.

They go to the private beach at the hotel and it’s fine because the place is so luxurious it’s mostly populated by foreigners who don’t know Nubsib.

Nubsib stops Gene from going into the water in exchange for applying sunscreen to Gene’s arms, shoulders, and legs, which makes Gene shy. Nubsib tells Gene not to play in the sun for too long and tells him he’ll wait for him right there.

Gene plays for so long that Nubsib is sure he’ll sleep but he showers and they go out to a market.

Gene sees a tourist attraction for snorkeling and asks Nubsib if he wants to go, if he’s not busy, and Nubsib asks Gene why he’d want to do it alone.

Gene says Nubsib is working, so he thought he’d be too tired, and Nubsib says he’s used to fucking Gene and then waking up and going to university after. Gene tells Nubsib that if he keeps talking like that, he’ll stab him.

They go back to the hotel and lie in bed. Gene asks Nubsib to take a picture for his parents in the LINE group chat.

Gene tells Nubsib not to make a face that’s too handsome. He’s sick of Nubsib being complimented by his mother.

They take silly selfies together.

Count 28

Gene is home and looking through pictures of their trip. It’s been years since he travelled.

He’s thinking about picking up Nubsib from school to get cake to celebrate finishing his recent manuscript, when he gets a call from Tum. He’s concerned because Tum doesn’t video call him but only calls, and sounds really urgent.

He goes to meet Tum at the TV station and Nubsib is already sitting in the boss’s office.

He shows them pictures of Nubsib and Gene on their beach trip—they were seen in the night market. He goes on to show them Facebook posts and tweets with thousands of likes. Because of the SibGene pictures, people are shipping them a lot, and it’s bad for the series because they want them to ship SibAey.

Gene feels bad for causing trouble for the fans and for the network.

Gene sees some negative comments about how people are going to stop following Nubsib and that they now hate him because Nubsib is selfish, and didn’t think of the fan’s feelings, and those comments make him feel the worst.

Nubsib holds Gene’s hand and assures him that it’s not his fault which makes Gene feel worse.

The head of the TV station tells Nubsib that him and Gene need to stop interacting, stop going out, stop liking and commenting on each other’s social media etc. and Nubsib says it’s impossible to be separated from his boyfriend and his contract didn’t specify that.

The head tells him that it was implied because everyone knows that being a BL actor necessitates selling fanservice. Nubsib says that they can go ahead and rip up his contract then, because he never intended to act at all, or in another series after this. He only went to the casting for Gene. 

Nubsib is angry but calm and he shocks everyone. Tum and the boss remind Nubsib that he has ten months left on his contract and if he leaves now he’ll have to pay a penalty. Nubsib says he knows and he’s prepared to pay.

Gene can’t take it. He cuts off Nubsib and tells the boss that he’ll stay away from Nubsib until the end of his contract, and he won’t stop by him if Tum isn’t there.

The boss is pleased and says he’s glad Gene understands. He says the next day that Nubsib needs to come by the studio for a small press conference where he’ll amend the news about him dating Gene.

They leave, leaving Nubsib and Gene to talk alone.

Nubsib tells Gene that they’re forcing them to break up and he won’t have it.

“You’re a star so it has to be like this.”

I didn’t want to cause problems for Nubsib’s work.

I felt extremely bad, thinking about Nubsib agreeing to pay the penalty to cancel his contract.

“We have to be like this?” Nubsib, who had been quiet for so long, repeated my words. “Maybe other actors can secretly date their boyfriends while they let the Internet ship them with someone else, but I can’t do that.”

“...”

“You can say that I’m selfish. But I only accepted the job to act in this series because of you. If it causes us problems like this, then I don’t want to continue this work.”

“I didn’t...” I shook my head.

The words were stuck in my throat, and I was unable to speak.

“So what are you going to do?”

“As I said. After the series ends, I’ll break my contract.”

“No!” I immediately interrupted. His eyebrows furrowed tightly together. “You’ve worked for your own savings, and haven’t asked your parents for work all this time. There’s no need to stop because of me. Another thing...if you rip up the contract you’ll need to pay a penalty. And not a thousand baht, but a couple hundred thousand baht.”

“And you’re fine with our relationship being like that? Not letting anyone know that I’m dating you? Making others think that I’m not in a relationship with you?”

“...”

When I didn’t answer the question, Nubsib shook his head while staring at me. “You’re being like this again. If anyone has a problem and tells you to do something, you follow because you care about them. Why don’t you do that for me? Why don’t you miss me?”

“I just don’t want you to waste your money and lose work!”

“You still don’t understand? Even after the series ends, there’s still nothing in my contract that specifies I can’t have a boyfriend. Pictures can be posted online at anytime. The Internet isn’t that easily quieted.”

“...”

“The only way for them to be satisfied is if we really break up.”

“...”

I froze.

Break up...

Everything I was thinking up until that point became blocked by that work in my mind.

I didn’t know what conclusion we’d come to when we started talking. Nubsib and I disagreed. There were several solutions to the problem. But I didn’t think for a second that breaking up was a solution.

“You want to...break up?” My voice is so low, I can barely hear myself.

“...”

Gene wants to faint at Nubsib’s suggestion.

He goes upstairs and showers and then gets into bed. He hears Nubsib come in and stand over him, but he doesn’t speak. Gene pretends to be asleep.

Gene thinks that he doesn’t want to break up with Nubsib but he’s the older one so he needs to be responsible. He can’t cause trouble for Nubsib like this.

Gene comes out and Nubsib is sitting in the living room. Nubsib tells Gene that he was being selfish and immature earlier and Gene is relieved.

Nubsib tells Gene that if he wants him to listen to the boss, then he’ll do it for Gene. He goes on to tell Gene that since the fans know they live together, it’s probably best for Gene to go back to live in his condo for now.

Gene feels terrible.

[theficplug]

ll 𝒾 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇 ll

Yahya x Black Reader

{a little malcolm & marie loosely, not so loosely inspired fic and after seeing a few things from Yahya. I’ve decided to write this.}

Warnings: none, i think ? possible tw: the brief mention of abandonment issues

Yahya was already padding through your shared cozy modern loft. 

His “good shoes'' as he calls them, long forgotten by the welcome mat.

 He headed straight to the kitchen to reheat leftovers from the Valentine's Day dinner you prepared for him last night. 

“Hors d'oeuvres weren't cutting it baby. And it was dry as hell.” he says jokingly as he turns on the Alexa. 

All Night by Beyonce plays softly in the background.

“What’s with you? You’ve barely said two words since we’ve gotten back from the event. You mad?” he asks slinging the blazer over the counter and kicking back against it. 

"I'm not angry Yahya. I want to take this tight ass dress off, have a warm shower , and go to bed. Can I do that in peace? " You say to him as you kick off the heels and make your way to the bedroom.

He was right on your trails as he followed you in and crossed his arms. 

“You looked beautiful tonight. Look at you.” he compliments 

The day of love was supposed to be just that but it felt like it was veering towards the opposite end of the spectrum. You take off your ears placing them in the jewelry holder carefully before sighing and kicking off your heels next. 

Yahya reassured you that he’d be home for Valentines Day but instead chose to take the last minute wrap dinner with his castmates and talk with the producers of his current project to secure the role on the next. 

You were more than happy for your man after busting his ass and finally securing a major role in the reboot of Candy Man and the newest male lead in his upcoming show. You truly were but it seemed as though for a while now he held no space for you in his chaotic world. 

You could feel Yahya eyeing you down as you silently, apart from the occasional huffing and puffy or mumbling little words to yourself. 

Yahya stands in the doorway of your bedroom watching you angrily snatch the clothes from the floor and set them aside before unzipping your dress. 

He frowns for a second before loosening his tie and contemplating walking over to you and helping you. After unzipping your cherry coloured silk gown the rest of the way his hands caresses slowly from your hips to your back, up your arms and finally settle on your shoulders. Yahya moves your hair curls to the side for a second placing soft kisses on to your neck. 

His hands already pulling at the end of your dress to your waist letting his hands wander 

He gazes at you for a moment noticing that the stoic expression is still etched across your face. 

"So you just gon’ be silent with me the whole night? No congratulatory kisses for your man."

“For.” kiss. “Your.” kiss. “Man.” kiss. 

 He whispers again against your neck and you move his hands off of you gently. 

"What’s up with you?" He asks again this time his voice laced with confusion as he tries to figure out why you've been acting this way since you left the event and the restaurant. 

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. I'm just tired. I ended up working all day yesterday since you didn’t come home and now I just want to relax and sleep." You reply before stripping down to just your stockings and grabbing your shower gels and caddy. 

"How am I supposed to fix whatever is going on here if you're going to act like this? What's wrong with you?" He asks again this time a little more concerned with the way you brushed him off. 

"What's wrong with me? Hmmm, Let's see, I've had to take care of our home and its repairs by myself for the past 8 months. I feel like I’m in a relationship by myself most days. And my fiance drives me to yet another fucking cast dinner . Where he fails to put his castmate in her place when she was clearly flirting with him right in front of his fiancee." You unload and Yahya whips his head around at you to process all  of your words. 

He cocks his head to the side before scoffing at your accusations. 

"So, instead of telling me how you felt you’d rather fucking explode on me on tonight of all nights. When I’ve just landed a record breaking 6 season extension and approval from Netflix. Who basically has the film industry by it’s balls right now. I’m not a mind reader. Baby, I didn’t know that she was going to say all of that. I was trying to be professional and let her make a fool of herself all on her own." He replies and you walk in the bathroom to put all of your things on the counter.

“Oh, I picked you because I knew we would drive the fans absolutely freaking wild. You know we’re just hot and have that chemistry on and off camera to make it you know like, work. Love scenes are easy to portray when you’ve got a man like Yah as your scene partner.” you mock her nasally and obnoxious tone as you pucker your lips mimicking her stiff lip fillers. 

"You never do Yahya. Nothing’s ever your fault! The waitress that asked if you could bench press her. The random woman holding onto your arm at the “celebratory dinner” in Denmark. I saw the pictures. You can have your head tossed back laughing hysterically with her but you can't even pick up the phone and see how your fiancee is holding up in the first winter without you here.`` 

"That’s not fair. It was dinner. The director’s daughter.  A dinner that he attended too. What do you want me to say? "No I'll  sit this one out because my girl doesn't want me to talk to other people because she still hasn't learned to deal with her insecurities and projects them onto everything I do"." he retorts and you stare him in the eye before tears well in yours. 

The silence falls over both of you as you stare him down. He was really standing here bringing out things you've told him during past pillow talks. 

You stare at each other in the mirror and he immediately  wraps his arms around you to apologize and kiss all over your shoulder and face. 

"No, You tell them that I can count on one hand how many months out of the year we spent together last year. You tell them that my girl had to spend Christmas watching everyone else get loved on and share the holiday cheer while I got to watch you skii over facetime. You tell them my girl made a beautiful steak dinner last night and got me tickets to watch my favourite fucking team for VaIentine’s Day, but I’d rather spend it talk about an old white guy’s scripts. I thought about breaking up with you around Thanksgiving before you came home. I blamed it on the distance, you know. I just felt that way because I only ever got to see you over facetime for what seemed like an hour or 2 a day. I said that when you came home everything would be okay again. I think that I may have been wrong. There’s two people in this relationship. But I also feel as though I may be holding onto something that's just not there." you tell him before grabbing your things out of his hands and stepping into the shower. 

Yahya swallowed hard and looked down at you for a moment, his jaw going slack for a second but his pride not letting him admit that he may have been in the wrong. 

"You didn’t tell me none of this. When I call you and I ask you how are you feeling? You always say it’s fine , it’s fine, everything’s fine. I mean we knew the kind of lives we lived when we got on this ride together. You traveled. I traveled. We traveled together. That’s how it was until you decided that acting wasn’t for you. I’m not abandoning you bae. That’s not what’s happening here." Yahya explains as he starts his skincare routine.

You let the warm water wash over you and the coils of your hair as you peel off the lashes and let out a long sigh.

Yahyah knew that one of your things was that you didn’t want to feel like a burden or to feel like you’ve been forgotten but this rough spat felt different.

"I wanted you. I wanted you to hold me and tell me you loved me and that I looked pretty for once." 

"You always look pretty though. You know that." 

“Happy Anniversary, Yahya.” you say quietly and you can hear him let out a drawn out “damn it” as he washes the cleanser off his face and looks up at you through the fogged glass. 

He drops his head slighly as he stands at the door before openingn it. . 

“I’m going to fix all of this. I love you and I want you to know that I’m sorry. You are the last person in my life that I wanna lose or hurt. I need you to know that I’m still the one you can turn to. You’re still the one I wanna experience this life with. Your greatest joys and highs. Your sad days when you just need to be held. The days where we lay together in bed and I can hear your heartbeat. Probably the cheesiest shit you've ever heard but it's my favourite sound I mean you calling out my name is a close second but that one is my favourite.” he reassures. He relaxes against your touch when you turn to face him and wrap your arms around him. 

Yahya embraces you, unphased by the fact that his shirt and pants are getting soaked. 

“Now that I’m thinking about it. I’ve fallen in love with you over and over again. There’s so many layers to you. It’s everyday I’m falling in love with something new about you. Even on days like this.  First time I fell in love with you. We were sitting at this coffee shop tapping your pencil against a notepad. You had Diary by Alicia Keys stuck in your head and you kept singing parts of the song to me throughout the day. You had this pretty floral pattern type of baby blue dress that fell off your shoulders. You wore your grandmother’s ring cause you said it always calms your nerves to have her there with you when you auditioned. Nobody had even heard of me before. I was going for some feature film role. At the time you were going for a recurring role on the Young & The Restless or some show like that. I remember you were reading the script and you let out a laugh. It was your laugh. The loud remedy of it curing the butterflies in my stomach. The little patch of the 4c bangs in the front, the rest of your hair slicked back into a puff. I loved the way that it framed your lil round face. The gold hoops against your deep beautiful brown skin. I liked the way you did your makeup. With the lil highlight at the tip of your nose. It made you look like a lil fairy...I proposed to you that day. After 6 months of knowing you.  Baby it was you, everything about you. You were laughing at having dump iced coffee all over your scene partner’s head but I was smiling because I knew. I was like so this is what made all them oldheads sing like that in the blues songs my daddy used to play. I wanted to be in it for the long haul. And I still do. I know I got a lot of making up to do. But I want you to know that I see you. I see you and I’m going to do what I need to do to make everything more than just alright. I love you.” 

You let his words soak in as he cupped your face and you nodded along to his words. After helping him strip off his drenched clothes he steps into the shower with you where you embraced him in your arms gain. 

“You’ve always told me that you knew early on but you never told me. I love you too, you know. It’s just you know how I am more than anybody. I know that your dreams are finally coming true and you deserve that.  I don’t want to stand in the way of that. But I still find a way to balance my work and our relationship. I just want you to meet me in the middle.” you say  against his lips before capturing his plump lips in a kiss. 

“I’m gonna fix it..” He reassures you in between kisses 

“We’ve still got 3 hours left of our anniversary. Our record is 5. We can still try to break that” you whisper in his ear-

( i don’t know what this is lol. sorry I didn’t get any valentines posts up.  i had a whole migraine and have had more low days than up in the past weeks but we keep going. i hoped you like this little, i dont know what to call it. i dont really know how to write fluff lol so here’s the angst.)

[lovesanmotion]

Still Here - Wooyoung

Summary: But why did you have to go? 

A/N: Hello! This is an advance gift fic from me to reaching 400 followers! And yes, this is the mystery fic I was talking about and at the same time the discussion I had with you a few weeks ago. The gif is also not mine, credits goes out to the rightful owner. 

Two years after success found the boy group, ATEEZ, KQ decided to debut a girl group for a change. Originally, they wanted the girl group to debut in Seven Seasons - a subsidiary company of KQ - debut a seven member girl group called 7S or short for Seven Seasons. However, the plans fell apart and the casting and recruiting was given to KQ, what kept intact was to debut a seven member girl group, but with a different name. 

KQ decided to name this girl group as Girls’ Paradise. It was an ambitious project brought to you by KQ, having used half a million just to bring in seven individuals into the company and laying down each girl a million won to train. The company’s best trainee? You. 

You were a breath of fresh air to the company, a trainee they have never seen before. When the choreographers teach you all of you the basics of dance steps, you were quick to pick all of it up. The vocal and rap trainers were impressed at how clear your vocals and good your pronounciations are. Quick to master the english language, be able to compose lyrics overnight and quick to adapt to the hectic schedule given by the company. The company started to call you “the female hongjoong”. But you brushed that nickname of, saying that they are just too humble to give you that nickname. 

You were excited to hear the news that Girls’ Paradise is finally set to debut. What shocked you more was that it was your senior idols ATEEZ Hongjoong and Mingi who majority produced the songs for your mini album. Hearing this news, you couldn’t help but thank them everytime you get the chance to meet them inside the company building. And on one particular day, Hongjoong and Mingi invited you to go on a dinner with them. Ecstatic to get close to your senior idols, you agreed. What you didn’t expect is to meet the whole members of ATEEZ at a restaurant their road manager pulled up at. 

You were so shy to join in dinner with eight males in a private room at the second floor of the restaurant, but the boys made you feel welcome. It was safe to say that you had gotten close with Seonghwa, San and Mingi. What the fans were saying were true, Seonghwa is very motherfly and San and Mingi were childish yet mature. Jongho cracked a few jokes with you that helped you open to him, and it did. And beside you, Wooyoung has this look on your face that you couldn’t explain. But that was only the beginning. 

You began to see Wooyoung around more often unlike before. If you say its because you both are from the same company, it doesn’t guarantee that you would always run into each other. You tried to brush it off at first, but then the unthinkable happened. Tensions arose between the two one night in the practice room, and from that night on, it continued to happen. 

"Ms Y/N is ready for her makeup” You smiled upon hearing that voice, you opened your eyes and found Wooyoung standing behind you in the changing room. He picked up the hairbrush and gently brushed your hair gently. 

“Relationship aside, you look pretty without make up on” He smiles at you through the mirror, you felt your inside tingling, Woo made sure not to brush your hair too hard. 

“And I like your hair longer. It suits you.” You smiled, turning your head up to smile at him. Placing a hand under your chin before he leans down to capture your lips with his. Pushing his tongue inside your mouth while his other hand gripped on your waist. Tasting the wine being offered at the awards show from his mouth, a cold hand wrapping around your neck, shivering at the contact. As you two slightly pull away, eyes looking at each other intensely. There is a long pause, hearts pounding inside your chests were the only sounds visible to hear. 

“My stylist doesn’t come back in fifteen minutes, if you’re wondering.” Biting your lower lip flirtatiously before standing up and teasingly removing the white robe around you. Wooyoung’s eyes darted around your body that he loves. The sight of your pink panties already has his cock erected, wanting to come out of his pants. 

A smirk paints his lips he removes the robe and hoists you up the table, back leaning the vanity mirror. Brushing your hair back before he attaches his lips once more with yours, a hand holding the back of your neck to deepen the kiss while his other free hand wanders on your leg, hoisting it up and wrapping it around his waist. 

That’s what you and Wooyoung are - nothing more than just friends with benefits. And it seemed that it was the best relationship for the two of you, neither wanting to be committed with someone and only to be wallet and emotionally drained after a few months or a few years. Apart from that, you both love performing on stage, no other person holding you back from what you both love doing. 

The invigorating hands that touches between your legs sends a twinge of pleasure through you as he traces a hand over the fabric of your underwear. “Look at you, so beautiful and addicting” he whispers, taking in your view with his eyes. 

“But you’ve always been beautiful - covered or bared” with that, Wooyoung attaches his lips on the crook of your neck that sends out a soft moan from your lips, his hand slipping inside the fabric of your underwear to palm your dampened pussy. You quickly arched your back and rubbed his erected clothed cock with your free hand, the harder you rub your hand through his clothed cock, the faster his lips slide up and down your neck. His lips were then fastened at the nape of your neck, not letting go as he gave a gentle bite on your neck, sending chills all over your body. 

“We have to be quick, Y/N” he pauses “and I think you’re ready for me” he unbuckles his pants along with his boxers down, letting them slide down to his ankles and before grabbing your legs, teasingly poking the tip of his cock to your tight entrance. 

“Stop teasing” you whined, slightly swinging your legs to which Wooyoung laughs softly, amused by your reaction. 

“Even if your stylist walks in on us, do you think I would stop fucking you here? Not a chance. Let’s get caught in the act together” and with that, he plunges his cock inside your entrance. No matter how many times you and Woo have done it, it still surprises you how seeing him alone is already enough to make you this wet for him. 

Wooyoung begins to pump fast and furiously, making his cock very happy to be inside you again and your pussy wanting to melt. Gently caressing your outer thighs and up to your hips, hearing his low moans in your ear, 

“Faster...please...” you begged. Woo increased his pace, feeling his dick move and harden inside you had you a moaning mess. Your pussy pulsating and contracting all around his throbbing cock when all of a sudden, the door slightly opens and suddenly closes down, but the two of you were lost in the moment of pleasure. 

“I’m gonna cum...” you mewled. Wooyoung bit down on your shoulder and you came over and over, rocking his hips against his. 

“Fuck I’m gonna cum” Wooyoung said, sweat beading his brow. He gritted his teeth as he slammed into you hard. 

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!” you shrieked as hot cum shots all over your pussy walls. Wooyoung came inside you, filling your pussy with his cum. As the two of you catched your breaths, the room smelling of sex and rose water. 

“I love you” you confessed out of nowhere. You knew it was risky saying those three words to him, knowing too well what you two just are. But you were hoping that, despite this kind of relationship, he would, at least, just feel a small percentage of love for you. 

“Y/N....you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Wooyoung said as he slowly pulls away from the hug. You suddenly felt a wash of shame run over you. Maybe it was best that you didn’t confess. You thought he would at least feel something for you, but apparently not. 

Weeks turned into months, you and Wooyoung have not spoken or seen each other. It was awkward. Whenever you knew ATEEZ was in the building, you’d skip entering the company building and call in sick instead. Promising your managers and members that you would double your efforts in practising the following day. But there were days wherein you couldn’t help but cross paths together. For example, music show promotions. Whenever Girls’ Paradise is standing besides ATEEZ, you would always stand farthest, just to be able to be away from him. You hated seeing and mentioning his name. It tasted sour now in your mouth. 

“Congratulations! The company has confirmed sixteen cities for your first European tour! After the European tour, you will be given a few days off before going to your North American tour which the company has also confirmed eight cities!” 

The news of the tour sounded pleasing in your ears. You were happy to see the growth of your girl group right before your eyes. You couldn’t wait to leave the country next week. 

Wooyoung hated to admit it, but he was scared of falling in love. He didn’t know if it was also right to say “i love you too” to someone whom he harbored feelings for but was scared to admit of falling. He hated it how he felt like he was at fault. But he was determined to talk to you. 

He was about to march into the dance room you and your group often used to practice, but he was met with an empty and clean room. 

“Uh....what are you doing?” Hongjoong asks, eyeing Wooyoung while he held a cup of coffee he picked up from the 7/11 downstairs. 

“Are they not here?” He asks, tilting his head before slowly closing the door. 

“Oh you didn’t heard?” Hongjoong sighs before taking a sip on his hot americano. “They’re on a tour and they’d be home two months from now.” Hongjoong takes another sip before entering the other dance room that ATEEZ often occupies, leaving Wooyoung standing alone outside. 

[nox-et-stellae]

 Kojiro had lost track of how long he’d been sitting in the same spot.

The armchair in the corner of Kaoru’s hospital room was too small to slump into comfortably, so Kojiro had given up on the idea of taking a nap. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep now, anyway. Every time he closed his eyes, the events of the past few hours flashed by in his mind. 

Entering the emergency room had been a blur -- running in with Kaoru in his arms had brought the attention on him right away, and within seconds he was swarmed by nurses and staff. Countless questions about what happened rained down on him, and he found himself unable to open his mouth to answer them. Relief washed over Kojiro when Shadow started filling in the gaps for him, and then a nurse tugged on his sleeve, pointing him to an empty bed and instructing him to put Kaoru down carefully.

Kojiro could only do as he was told, and he could’ve sworn Kaoru’s grip on his jacket lingered for a touch too long before he let go. Their gazes met, and Kojiro would’ve done anything to get rid of the fear in his eyes, if the hospital staff hadn’t cut in and busied themselves with Kaoru’s injuries.

Before Kojiro knew it, Kaoru’s bed was being wheeled away. A black hole swallowed everything within the cage of his ribs as he watched Kaoru disappear behind a set of heavy white doors. 

One way or another he’d found his way into a waiting room. Someone pushed a small cardboard cup of cheap coffee into his hands. He vaguely remembered staring at the wall until its subtle pattern began to swirl along with his stomach.

Eventually a nurse notified him that Kaoru was confirmed to be stable, no severe or life-altering damage done, and that they’d moved him to a separate room to rest. She walked off then, without saying another word, knowing that Kojiro would follow her to whichever room they’d assigned him.

Kaoru had been sleeping from the moment Kojiro had entered. Kojiro had simply collapsed into the nearest chair and watched him, illuminated only by a small nightlight. 

A handful of minutes ago the door had opened, shaking Kojiro out of whatever reverie he’d been stuck in, revealing the small, tired frame of a nurse about to wrap up her night shift. She passed through swiftly to check on Kaoru, waking him gently and asking him a handful of basic questions to make sure his concussion didn’t get worse. Kojiro didn’t even get the chance to look him in the eye -- he was back asleep before the nurse had closed the door behind her.

By now, the early morning sun started peeking through the thin indigo curtains and slipping through whatever slit they didn’t happen to cover, bathing the small room in a soft, golden glow.

Kojiro had never before had this much time to look at Kaoru. To really look at him.

He lay in a half-upright position, his back and neck supported by sturdy pillows. Bandages covered most of his head wounds, and his right arm was tucked securely into a sling. Traces of blood still lingered in his hair, splayed around him in tangled strands. His chest rose and fell peacefully underneath his hospital gown -- a movement Kojiro had tried to calm himself with over and over, but never quite managed.

Even in this state, Kaoru was heartbreakingly beautiful.

Kojiro had always known he was, and he’d always been aware of it. But there were particular moments, such as this one, where it slapped him in the face and left him reeling.

He didn’t think he had ever ached to touch him this much.

As quietly as he could, he scooted his chair closer to Kaoru’s bed. Then he reached out, slid his hand underneath Kaoru’s free one, and interlaced their fingers.

For a moment, he marveled at how well their hands seemed to fit together, like two matching puzzle pieces. How his hands, tan and covered in calluses and tiny little scars he’d collected in culinary school, contrasted with Kaoru’s fair ones, slender and smooth except for the spots on his fingers that carried his calligraphy brush. And how, above all else, he didn’t want to let go.

Then Kaoru’s fingers moved, solidifying their grip on Kojiro’s hand with a slight squeeze. 

Kojiro’s head shot up, and saw that Kaoru’s eyes were open, trained on their intertwined fingers, the tiniest smile tugging up his lips.

“I knew you were sentimental,” he said lowly, “but this is a lot even for you.”

“Kaoru,” Kojiro breathed, and before he could stop himself, he started laughing. Soft, breathy, desperate chuckles dripping with relief; the kind that could transform into harsh, racking sobs if one wasn’t careful. Finally, finally, the vines that had strangled him for hours on end began to loosen their hold, and he leaned forward until his forehead touched their shared hands.

“Now, now,” he heard Kaoru say, his voice laced with amusement. “No need for your carefree spirit to be so worry-struck. Cheer up, little Kojiro.”

Kaoru’s hand pulled free from Kojiro’s grip and ran through Kojiro’s hair soothingly. “I can’t believe I have to comfort you when I’m the injured one here,” he added, mock-sullenly. 

“Alright, alright,” Kojiro said, sitting up, “you can cut it out now.”

Kaoru hummed, lifting his hand to cover his smile with slender fingers, the way he often hid it behind his favorite fan. 

Then, as if the events of the night before suddenly came back to him, his smile fell. 

"Are you in pain?" Kojiro asked immediately. 

Kaoru started shaking his head, then winced at the movement, squeezing his eyes shut. Vines started creeping up Kojiro's chest again. He feared they wouldn't be completely gone until Kaoru was back to how he'd been before. And that could take weeks. Months. 

Kaoru opened his eyes, then stared at a spot on the wall. His free hand clutched the fabric of the covers. 

"I can't believe how stupid I've been."

"Stupid?" Kojiro was dumbstruck. "Kaoru, nothing about this is your fault--" 

"No, dimwit," Kaoru interrupted him. "I can't believe how stupid I've been to believe anything remained of Adam as we used to know him."

Oh.

"I wanted to see it for myself," Kaoru continued. "See how much he'd changed, if there was anything in him at all that I could recognize. Some part of me held out hope that I-- we could turn it all back somehow."

Kaoru cast his eyes down to where his hand strangled the sheets. His gaze-- no, his entire body, held the unmistakable weight of grief. "But I was wrong."

"Not just you," Kojiro said. He reached out and stroked the back of Kaoru's hand with his fingertips. "It's hard to watch, seeing the person he's become."

Kaoru nodded slowly. The movement made a few strands of hair fall into his face.

An idea sparked in Kojiro’s mind.

"Oh, wait, here--" Kojiro dug into the pocket of his jacket, fishing out the spare hair tie he always carried around "--let me tie up your hair for you."

Kaoru blinked at him, then hummed, acceding. Some of the tension in his shoulders dropped, suggesting to Kojiro that he wasn’t the only one glad to have an excuse to change the subject. 

He carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and helped Kaoru sit upright a little. With his fingers he gently combed through Kaoru's hair, untangling any knots he came across, scraping his fingernails across Kaoru’s scalp for good measure. Kaoru's eyes fluttered closed as Kojiro worked -- the tiny noises of pleasure he made from the back of his throat were the only sign that he was still awake.

When his hair was all smoothed out, Kojiro gathered most of the strands together into a loose ponytail, one of Kaoru's signature looks, and wrapped the hair tie around it until he was sure no amount of twisting and turning would undo it.

"There," he said, tucking a stray strand behind Kaoru's ear. "That should do it."

"Thanks," Kaoru breathed curtly. His cheeks took on a rosy tone. 

Kojiro couldn't help caressing Kaoru's cheek as he moved his hand away, his skin igniting at the touch. As he sat back down in the armchair, Kaoru exposed the palm of his hand -- an invitation. Kojiro accepted, taking Kaoru's hand in both of his. 

"I'm tired," Kaoru sighed.

"Then rest." Kojiro traced circles on the back of Kaoru's hand with one of his thumb. "That's all you have to do for now."

Kaoru hummed. He turned his head so he could meet Kojiro's gaze. 

"Will you stay?" 

Kojiro's heart jumped, filling his chest with sparks of static electricity. Kaoru was usually too proud to admit he had any needs or wants -- and if he was forced to, he tended to go with arrogant humor rather than vulnerable sincerity. The fact that he chose the latter this time around suggested something was changing between them.

With the way his entire body tingled with warmth, Kojiro couldn’t say he wasn’t excited about the prospect. 

He smiled, and lifted Kaoru’s hand to press a feather-light kiss on top of his knuckles. 

"Always."

~~~~

[this could be considered part 1]

[scalproie]

idw megs, i wanna hear ur thoughts 👀

Sometimes I feel you read my mind💖

favorite thing about them: So when I read mtmte/lost light I'm like. Wow. Megatron is such a great character and you really sympathize with him and his redemption arc is pretty cool and somewhat well-handled and even the simple fact that they're giving a redemption arc to MEGATRON of all characters is pretty daring on itself. Idw Megatron in general really makes you feel the tragedy of his character. And also he's looking very pretty thanks to his design by the very gifted Mr. Milne and later Mr. Lawrence.

least favorite thing about them: AND WHEN I STEP AWAY A BIT FROM MTMTE/LOST LIGHT I'M LIKE... ok so a big appeal of mtmte to me was how it was essentially a story about a bunch of nobodies, and unless you were a pretty big transformers fan to begin with, the main characters didnt really meant anything to you if you were a casual. You might knew Rodimus, Ultra Magnus and Ratchet, but they werent really... the transformers' most known characters, or the main ones. So bringing MEGATRON into the picture is like... he's A VERY BIG player in the cybertronian war, and he's like, the second or third most well known transformer, and suddenly the story has to resolve around him, because of course it does. Yknow that arc where the ticks that feeds on charisma just, spontaneously combust when he and roddy enters the room? That's it that's part of my problem, he's too big, he's a vortex of attention, and he just arrived so I don't really... care about him? And while that may change later because of his exposure, bringing him into the spotlight steals it from Rodimus, and it's extremely unfair to Roddy tho I'll admit I still have secondhand frustration about that. And then, it's not HIS fault per say, but because transformers will always hurt me when something good is going on, the rest of his development and ending (the ending of mtmte/lost light in general really) felt aborted and rushed because the reboot was on the horizon, and his redemption in particular really wasnt one to rush. Speaking of, I have no problem while reading it but. When I think about it, I am kinda :/ about him having a redemption on principle, it simultaneously feels like yeah the story succeded in selling it but also Not Really :/ :/ :/

favorite line: "I've heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering, and tonight I intend to make you very wise" because. come on.

brOTP: putting this in brOTP but I am not blind and I can see that he and Ultra Magnus/Minimus have A Vibe

OTP: I'm a very boring person who rarely multiship and I only like an extremely specific flavor of megop so. there you have it. you know I latched onto that one spacetime phonecall.

nOTP: I KNOW. I KNOW that if he had been ANYONE ELSE I would have NO PROBLEM with it I KNOW IT but there's something that simply prevent me from seeing him with Rodimus

random headcanon: okay it's been a hot minute since my last mtmte/lost light/idw re-reading so I'm kinda drawing a blank here.

unpopular opinion: he's very divisive so I feel every opinion on idw megatron is an unpopular one, but at the risk of repeating what I said above, I am kinda :/ :/ :/ at the fact that he gets to go on forever multi universal adventures with the rest of the cast at the end of the comics. Especially after the basically second chance at life he had in the functionist universe. Like, I get why but Idk I feel I wouldve enjoyed him more if he had been a temporary addition. But he was there for more than half of it and just. So much was dedicated to him. So. :/

song i associate with them: im so mad I KNOW there was a perfect idw megatron song but its been two years and I CANNOT remember it

favorite picture of them: panels that vibe check you into oblivion

[firelxdykatara]

not gonna lie I would love to hear more about the drama and infighting that went on in The Vampire Diaries fandom if you have the time (and also want to use that time to give your experience with the fandom, which from the snippets you've told sounds Not Fun so I get it if you don't want to lol)

oh god, there was like, SO MUCH, i just

i really feel like tvd is one of those fandoms that is so hard to describe without a lot of ‘you’d have to have been there’, but it really felt like this huge and all-consuming beast for about five years until the show finally imploded and the fandom basically turned on it en masse. (you ever see that post going around that’s like ‘if you ever want to know what true regret feels like, ask someone who once called tvd their favorite show’? still a mood, all these years later. basically the entire fandom thought the show should have just bowed out with whatever shreds of dignity it had left at the end of season 6, and became more of a hatedom than a fandom for the last two seasons. when you have an entire fandom cheering news of your show’s cancellation, i think that’s a sign you done fucked up, julie.)

first and most infamous, of course, are the ship wars. which are pretty much inevitable in any teen-centered drama, and i really think the CW fucking thrives on them, but it was particularly egregious in TVD’s case because not only was the base premise of the show a love triangle, but the two main romantic leads were brothers that the show constantly pit against one another--in pursuit of elena’s affections, but also because it kept up this insistence on the ‘good brother/bad brother’ dichotomy which stopped making sense after about season 2 (by which time we have found out that the good brother was never as good as he appeared, and the bad brother has been growing and isn’t nearly as bad as he pretends to be)--and the question of which brother ‘deserved’ elena (and no, what elena wanted very rarely factored into these discussions, especially in the team stefan camp because they turned on her when what she wanted was no longer The Good Brother, but i’ll get to that in a bit) was hotly contested.

i’m not kidding when i say the shipping wars were vicious. i started watching tvd shortly after it began to air, which was late 2009, and kept up with it fairly sporadically over the years. i didn’t come onto tumblr until 2011/2012, and by then, the fandom was already pretty much a garbagefire. there were anti ship and anti character blogs, any time something bad happened for one ship the rival ship would invade the tags to gloat about it (seasons 3 and 4 were especially rough, and i’m not gonna pretend delena fans weren’t just as bad about tag invasion and shit, but as that was my side of the road i saw a lot more of the stelena shippers being assholes, which soured my opinion on the ship a long time before i started rewatching and realized the red flags were there from the start), confessions blogs were popular also toxic as fuck (so much fighting happened in the notes of those posts, good gods), and this was right around when twitter’s popularity was on the rise and the line between Celebrity and Fan was thinning, so the fandom was absolutely atrocious to much of the tvd cast and crew.

(some of them deserved a lot of the later backlash, but in the early years a lot of it was ‘how dare you write the story in a way i dont like, you terrible fucking person’, and gods don’t get me started on the dobsley vs nian Thing)

i think what really encapsulates my feelings on the tvd fandom as a whole, though, is the way they (to this DAY) treated elena gilbert, which can be summed up in one meme that gained a lot of traction around season 3 if i remember right: that gif of pam from true blood, with the text altered to read “i’m so OVER elena and her precious doppelganger vagina!”

i swear at one time i had over half the active tvd fan accounts on tumblr blocked, because i got to a point where i would no longer tolerate elena hate, and she was (and still is, in what remains of the fandom; you’ll see a lot of ‘elena was one of the worst things about the show’ takes from ex-fans, too) one of the most widely despised characters in the entire fandom. because she -checks smudged writing on hand- was a traumatized teenage girl who -reads off a crumpled notecard- couldn’t always perfectly sort out her own feelings and -squints at the ceiling- sometimes made mistakes or bad decisions. (except a lot of the fandom also insisted that she was a mary sue who had no character traits or flaws or faults and it was like....make up your fucking minds???? is she a calculating conniving bitch whose somehow manipulating these centuries old vampires to tie them around her little finger or is she a boring flat character with no depth and no flaws??? jfc)

there was this massive double standard, too--like, stefan and damon could fuck whoever they wanted and that was fine, but elena was constantly raked over the coals for the crime of developing romantic feelings for the two men who had become constants in her life and whom she cared for deeply, and oh my GOD the slut shaming that happened when elena slept with damon was fucking wild. (and also happened in canon lmfao. like the show had one of elena’s best friends basically call her diseased on screen for falling in love with someone other than stefan. it was gross and ridiculous and the friend in question was also being a giant hypocrite at the time since she was happily flirting with someone who was directly responsible for the deaths of like four of elena’s loved ones and her own boyfriend’s mother but that’s beside the point) but like elena was called a slut and a bitch and a whore for ‘cheating’ on stefan (she hadn’t, and she had in fact broken up with him on screen the episode earlier) and ‘immediately’ jumping into bed with damon, even though none of them said fucking boo when stefan had one night stands or damon had fuckbuddies or whatever.

shit, caroline didn’t get any of this treatment when she started falling for tyler while dating matt! which isn’t to say i think she should have, just that i think it’s fucking ridiculous that elena was absolutely demonized by the fandom for daring to have feelings for two guys at once and eventually acting on them--despite the fact that the entire premise of the show was a love triangle. it’s not a love triangle if both sides don’t eventually get explored, and the crew had been pretty explicit about the fact that delena was going to happen at some point--but when it did, a huge chunk of the fandom absolutely threw a fit.

and a lot of these elena haters were alleged stelena stans, and i say alleged because they hated her so much for not wanting stefan’s dick anymore that it was clear they were really stefan stans and only wanted stelena to be endgame because they wanted stefan to ‘win’ at the end of the day, because ‘he’s the good brother’ so he deserved elena more.

it was all very gross and very misogynistic and very sex shaming (apparently delena was a ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial’ relationship because they had sex after two years of unrequited feelings slowly becoming requited and then pining for ages on both sides, and because they had a lot of on screen chemistry that the show capitalized on for years so of course they did a lot of making out and shit but it’s not like stelena didn’t have its fair share of making out and sex scenes, stefan was just too much of a coward to let elena top i’d apologize for that joke but i’m really not sorry because it’s true), and when i say it was egged on by the crew, that’s because they refused to let the love triangle die back in season 4 when it should have.

they insisted on stringing stelena fans along, dropping little bread crumbs to keep them invested, like dreams of a future where they were married and revealing that stefan was also a doppelganger and he and elena were descended from a pair of star-crossed lovers (a plot that ultimately went nowhere, to no one’s great surprise), and then fucking like. julie plec turned around and threw nina under the bus after she chose not to extend her contract and pretended that stelena might have happened again if she hadn’t left the show, which....i mean frankly i wouldn’t put it past her, but it would have been shitty writing. then again, she thought having a vampire pregnancy where a uterus was magically transplanted from a witch into a vampire that could somehow......carry the babies to term.... made sense and was a good way to accomodate candice’s RL pregnancy rather than like literally ANYTHING else, soooooo. but anyway julie saying that around like, end of s6 sparked off a new wave of nina hate and elena hate and ship wars bc they SEers took it as ‘confirmation’ that stelena was REALLY meant to be endgame and it was all just a hot fucking mess

another thing is that, while tvd was in its prime before the anti/purity culture shit started picking up any real steam, there was still this pervasive attitude throughout the fandom that if you liked Damon, you were A Bad Person. liking damon was apparently grounds for insults and harassment, and apparently he was The Worst Person on the Show even though literally nothing he does on screen is any worse than shit we know stefan has done (and frankly every other vampire too, but i mention stefan specifically because he was always held up--in the show but especially in the fandom--as the Good Brother while damon was the Bad One, and if you liked damon more then that had to mean your morals were dodgy and you clearly couldn’t appreciate what a heroic and saintly figure dear stefan was and....oops, i’m sorry, my salt keeps leaking -cough-).

meanwhile klaus quickly became a fandom darling despite not even really having much of a redemption arc (on tvd anyway, he just became more ‘affably evil’ as the show went on and more inclined to work with the main characters rather than try to kill them; i have no idea what went on over on his show, though), and like i can 100% appreciate liking villains and not caring that they do dodgy villainous shit, even just liking them bc they’re hot and wanting them to kiss a main character bc they have insanely good chemistry (yes i ship klaroline, no i won’t apologize for it, they could have been Really Great), it’s just really the double standard that gets me.

and all of this, incidentally, required ignoring some truly gross shit stefan was responsible for wrt his relationship with elena, that frankly it has always bothered me never really got addressed in the show. i get why elena herself would never be able to actually call him on it, but the fact is that he stalked her for months after he first saw her and thought she was katherine (meanwhile it only took damon .5 seconds to realize she was someone else entirely, but that’s another topic entirely), and then he deliberately inserted himself into her life because, in his words, ‘i have to know her’. he never gave a thought to how his presence in her life might affect her (or rather, he did, and tormented himself about it in his internal monologue, but never let this actually dissuade him from disrupting her life), and elena would wind up blaming herself for every tragedy that befell her friends and loved ones as a result of getting mixed up in vampire bullshit even though none of it was her fault--she literally blamed herself for existing but most of the fandom didn’t give a fuck about that lmfao--and stefan did shit like find out that she was adopted and then withhold this information from her until she got pissed about another secret he was keeping (her resemblence to katherine) and drop it on her to try and distract her from her very reasonable anger, and like... i should stop before this becomes a whole rant about how much i hate stefan fucking salvatore, but the point is, he did a lot of really sketchy shit he never answered for and elena never really took him to task for, and the fandom just kept eating up his insistence that he was the Good Brother and therefore he deserved to have elena, and if she didn’t want him anymore it was because she was a heinous bitch who didn’t deserve him.

uh.....i think i got off track there. and there’s probably a lot of shit i missed, like i think i was incandescent with rage for most of seasons 5 and 6 so i missed a lot of the interfandom shit cause i was too busy being increasingly pissed off at the show itself, but if nothing else this should give you an idea of how much of a goddamn cesspit the fandom was while the show as in its prime. there’s a reason both the show and the fandom have such a lousy reputation lmfao.

[comehomeducklings]

Past [Part 3] (Obsession)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Tom Riddle's Moodboard

Main Character's Moodboard

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

1940 - 3rd year

There’s no chance of getting out of this. Our mentor must be out of their mind. No smooth sailing this period, not for me. Nothing at all has prepared me for this point in time.

My heartbeat rises by the second. At the brink of jumping out of my chest. I constantly try to reassure myself as I prepare. Forcing the illusion that I have everything together.

I most definitely don’t have anything, not a crumb, together.

My hands sweat with anticipation, my wand almost slipping off multiple times. The magical stick even wants to run away from this situation. I’ll start running with it soon enough.

The whole room is quiet in expectation. The tension levels in this area are too high for me to even start to comprehend. All I can hear is the sounds of my breathing and the occasional ruffle of robes. The high regard these people hold for me isn’t doing me any favors. I’m about to ruin any confidence anyone holds in my skills.

My friends are holding their thumbs up for encouragement. It does little to calm my panic, but I appreciate the effort anyway. Other acquaintances from the same house nodded their heads in an attempt to console my emotions.

Before the teacher signals to start, he gives us a bit to come up with a plan. Ten seconds at most. Now, this isn’t something possible to win. Not against him, no. My only goal here is to last as long as I can and don’t mess up.

Act smart, seem like you know more than you do.

He looks as easy-going as ever. This may seem like a walk in the gardens to him. No “threat” whatsoever to make him feel uneasy. I’m quite irritated at the thought of being anything but a challenge. He may be a little right, but that doesn’t help my ego.

Easy, I’m nothing easy.

Riddle might be stronger at this, but that doesn’t mean I'm complete garbage. I can hold my own, I will hold my own.

My breathing patterns change into more of a deep inhale and exhale. Focusing on completely dropping my heart rate and keeping my thoughts intact. Madam Rose, the school nurse, hates seeing me walk in there. Frequent visits from dealing with plants has her hair getting pulled out. I don’t think Miss Rose would be too keen on me passing out from the lack of oxygen.

“Only stick with the one basic spell of force. For both offensive and defensive tactics.”

Riddle’s atmosphere surrounding him is focused, deadly. He hasn’t moved his gaze from my lips. Probably on guard for whenever I cast something. I’m slightly unsteady on my feet from nerves. It’s almost suffocating being under all these watchful eyes.

A snake takes their time to strike. They examine all angles where you may be weak. Testing the vulnerability of your actions and thinking process. A few testing snaps of their mouth can tell them how the fight will go. They are well-balanced and focused, masters of intimidation.

Breathing.

Oxygen informs the snake how much you’re able to hold on for. The more you intake, the tighter it gets. Restricting the amount of oxygen the prey respires. Until they are physically unable to anymore, slowly weakening. The fight they were presenting lessens to almost non-distinguishable. The prey’s struggling to get free, dying down. Then it passes away, openly given to the snake without any more thought. A mere temporary meal in its eyes.

“Begin.”

Our eye contact is steady, neither of us moving an inch. Our mouths are closed shut, wands at the ready. I slightly squint my eyes while I focus. If he’s waiting for me to go first he is out of luck. I’m not budging, we will stay in the same position until next period if we have to.

Riddle also slightly squints his eyes. His hand doesn’t shake even if his wand was out in the air for a long time. The arm he holds out is steady and unmoving. Nothing triggers my attention since his movements are of little importance. I search his eyes for any life, no emotion is found swirling in those charcoal black eyes. Absolutely brilliant and fierce when focused or aggravated. The class starts getting rowdy, finally allowed to talk since Riddle just made the first move.

There’s only one spell I need to remember, that makes it a little easier to think of ways to find my opening. I quickly revert the spell away from me and send it right back. A tennis match is played between that one spell. Tom huffs and sends his enchantment straight towards the ground. It bursts into tiny magical specks of green. During that time I sent a spell his way.

After a while, I start to notice right before he casts a spell he moves his mouth like he inhales to take a breath. I’ve noticed him do it quite often. Since he casts fairly quickly there wasn’t much to go off of. Not much to use to my advantage. When he “inhales” he’s most of the time not actually breathing in air. It’s just a simple movement he does. It might be because of his accent, the way he learned to talk. Quite a small little quirk of the lips.

To start testing out this theory I centered most of my attention on his mouth. Waiting to see if my theory was reliable enough to depend on. He’s starting to gain more offensive attacks on me. Most of my spells undecidedly move more defensive by the minute.

Right before he mutters the words, I send a spell of my own. The magic aiming for his knees. Before he could defend himself from that one I prepared another offensive conjuration to his wand. He forwarded an incantation my way and I hurriedly obviated the sorcery as it was also heading to my stifle joint. Some of the force still slightly makes contact with my left knee. My balance is suddenly thrown off.

As I scramble to catch my footing, Riddle with point accuracy parries my wand attack. Then diverts my knee attack towards my right knee. Since I was focused on stabilizing my posture I didn’t notice the spell approaching my other knee

Forthcoming my inevitable demise.

I end up planting both hands on the ground. My knees falling one after the other from the pressure.

Our audience starts yelling complaints and praise. Calls for a rematch and cheats. My loss was bound to happen, but I did get to do that three combo. Two offensive and one defensive, all in the span of 5 seconds. Not too bad if I say so myself.

“Mr. Riddle wins this duel. Excellent job to the both of you. A very good strategy was well thought out for each side.”

I make my way down the steps on my platform’s side. Immediately being greeted by hugs and pats on the back.

At least my feet didn’t get tied together from restlessness causing me to fall and he wins the duel immediately. I would have dropped out right then and there from embarrassment.

There’s barely any feedback for Riddle, his little posse praising him like a king. People either saw no fault in him or were too frightened to actually comment on it publicly.

For me, that’s another case. Quite a bit of suggestions are offered, keep my form ready and my attention on more than one thing. Any and all advice is welcomed. Who knows how it can help me one day.

Amelia hugs my side with the biggest grin on her face, “You did so well! I think he actually had to work a little for that win.”

Everyone is dismissed and we head our way to Herbology. Tom’s face looks as if he’s already forgotten about the duel. His body language remains tranquil as ever.

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

Bubotuber pus, one of the grossest things I’ve had the misfortune of learning at home. Now I have to live through it again? How can one endure harvesting the essence?

“All of you are required to wear gloves for today’s class. Does anyone know what effects you would have when touching this substance with your bare skin?”

Quite a number of students raise their hands. I’m guessing they did research on why they needed to buy these gloves when handed the school procurement catalog.

Exactly what I did, curiosity might actually kill the cat.

“Yes, you sweet girl,” she picks, “What’s your name?”

“Merlene,” the student answers, “If you touch this without protection then extremely painful boils will appear in its stead.”

“Correct! 5 points to Hufflepuff,” she claps.

My fingers already lay inside the dragon-hide gloves. Its rough texture rubs against the calluses from dealing with the harsh stems of different plants.

This substance is usually processed to be used for acne treatments. Only touched in its weakened state. Oddly satisfying to some, I am not a part of that group of people

“This is disgusting,” I say as I harvest the pus. My gagging reflexes acting up every time the plant gets squeezed.

A few students chuckle at my remark. They seem to be having a good time, weirdly focused on this substance. It smells of petrol, not a big fan of the scent. Reminds me of the sketchy gas stations my parents and I would take on family road trips.

Its thick goo is finally contained in bottles. Relief washes over me from finishing the collecting process. My gloves are removed and I do a quick spell to clean my area. Nothing really fell on it so it didn’t need scrubbing beforehand.

Amelia seems to just be finishing her plant. A lot of goo splashed all over her table. Luckily it doesn’t seem like any of that touched anyone’s face or uncovered arms.

“I’m just about done, can you help with cleaning please?” Amelia starts collecting all of her bottles into her arms. None of the glass vials touched in green gunk.

“Yeah, I got you, turn those in to the professor.” I immediately started helping her out. In that process, I also cleaned other’s messes too. Why not, there is still time to waste until we can all leave. Cleaning products smell better than whatever chemicals intoxicate the air.

“Pop quiz, shout out the answers. Why not use spells instead of treated bubotuber pus for treatments?”

Easy question, I whisper the answer in Amelia’s ear when she comes back from turning in the assignment so she can shout it.

“Using spells proves to be too risky, like the Eloise Midgen incident,” she answers.

Good, she remembers Eloise's event.

“Yeah, she cursed her nose off, poofed from existence,” a girl from Hufflepuff adds.

“Precisely, everyone has permission to leave now,” the professor exclaims, “don’t head out without cleaning or I’ll reduct points. Last time a student got boils all over their hand from an improperly cleaned station.”

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

“It actually went decently. Nothing blew up, surprisingly.”

At lunch, we are all talking about our first three classes. Potions being our first topic.

“Thought as much, I saw your stupid grin. You looked like you just won the wizarding lottery,” I say with my mouth stuffed with food. Hoping they could understand me between my chews.

“Both of you, slow down. The food ain’t going anywhere damn,” Devyn laughs.

Amelia and I pause, we look at each other, then at Devyn, then back to us. After a silent halt in our actions, we continue to shove down a bunch of food.

“I noticed you kept gagging at the pus. You looked queasy, your face was so pale.”

I audibly shiver at the recollection of said class. My eyes were watering so bad there. That stuff would never stop coming.

“I’m eating, stop mentioning that nasty stuff,” Amelia starts shaking her head. If only I could see the thoughts forcefully being shaken out of her head.

“You should have seen her station. That stuff was everywhere. How bad is your aim, the opening to the bottle wasn’t that small?”

“It wasn’t even that!” she drops her fork, “I squeezed that bloody plant too hard and it squirted everywhere!”

“Poor choice of words,” Devyn snickers. All she gets is a shove from me.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, she’s clearly traumatized.”

Devyn shoves me back, “You’re clearly traumatized from the duel. The one you failed at, the one-”

“I’m aware of the duel you’re talking about,” I interrupt, “I bet you wouldn’t have lasted as long as I did.”

“Oh please, you’re just salty about losing.”

I roll my eyes and subconsciously scan the room for him. There he is, mysteriously talking to his group of buddies. After a little bit, he catches onto my staring. He briefly looked around him to see if I was looking at something else. Finally, he comes to the realization it was in fact him I was blessing with my attention.

During this, he was talking to his friend next to him. He stopped his conversation to completely give me his attention. The guy he was just talking to engaged in another conversation quickly.

The moment was interrupted with hands waving in front of my face, “You gonna eat that?”

“Nah I’m full, go ahead.”

Riddle continued on with his food. Never looking my way again.

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

“Hey, uh, Riddle you have a second?”

I stop him by tapping his shoulder a couple of times. His height already makes mountains seem molecular.

He furrowed his eyebrows and glances at the shoulder I just touched. Making it a scene to dust that part off, what an ass.

“No, I really don’t have a second,” he responds.

“Well that, really, sucks for you huh. Can you teach me techniques for dueling?”

“No,” he starts to turn away.

“Please, you will get one favor from me. Whatever you need.”

Tom turns back around, “Anything? Does that favor expire?”

I shake my head no. If he plans to wait a long time he’ll probably forget about it. He seems to be deep in thought for a bit. No rush really since we're on our break. If he agrees I could get ahead of so many competitors.

“Fine, every Friday afternoon starting tomorrow in the Room of Requirement.”

He immediately strides away while I stare back in shock. My brain didn’t expect him to actually accept. Getting this far wasn’t a very possible outcome.

Now I just have to find out where the Room of Requirement is located.

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

Taglist:

@empath-bunny

@jinxqsu

[fairyladyspring]

Roxy’s Wasted Potential

I love Roxy and I wish she was on the main cast, so why isn’t she? In this essay, I will be talking about how I think Roxy’s potential is being wasted, why this might be and why the reasons are wrong, so let’s dive right into it.

How was Roxy’s potential wasted?

We all know, Roxy was intended to join the main cast after Season 4, yet it never happened. Instead of taking on a main role, Roxy was delegated into the back seat in Season 5 taking on a side character role instead of a main cast one. Maybe you could have seen it coming, after all, she was not the first one to receive a downgrade instead of upgrade (let me shamelessly plug my Moments in friendship drabble between Roxy and Mirta).

Roxy as a character was hyped up very much after all the forth season dealt with finding her and accepting her destiny to be a fairy when she first rejected it. By the end of the season she was starting to grow into her role as fairy with her journey starting after magic was brought back to earth.

As a kid, one of the key aspects I loved about Winx Club was the discovery of magic via Bloom as the proxy. Bloom finding out about her heritage however was essentially over after the movie, there should not have been much more to discover – and her role of discovering magic could have been taken over by Roxy.

But why did Roxy even get the shaft and was pushed back?

Unlike Mirta (who was pushed out due to similarities to another character of a similar show), Roxy had no such similarities to other shows and no between fandom discourse. The Roxy discourse was entirely within the Winx fandom and after three seasons and one movie, Winx fans had a hard time getting used to Roxy as a character, complaining about her addition to the cast.

Not only was Roxy called a whiny brat, fans saw no more than a Bloom clone in this character. Both characters from earth, suddenly the only fairy from a planet whose magic was forgotten – the similarities are there if you try to find them. But that is about where I believe the similarities end.

And still, fans discontent did seal Roxy’s fate and she got reduced to a background character. The questions arises though, was the critique of Roxy entirely reasonable?

Why are the reasons wrong?

Criticism: Roxy is a whiny brat

Hear me out, but I think every character received an infantilization – but Roxy stood out because we had nothing to compare her to. Season 4 has one main criticism even today and it is about the Winx behaving more immature and causing relationship drama the Season could have done without. Writing Roxy to be more mature would have stuck out like a sore thumb.

But even then, Roxy was only 16, an age where usually all things magic is not quite believable anymore unless proven wrong. It was a Moment of Awesome, when Roxy started to believe in fairies, giving the Winx the ability to turn into Believix fairies.

And still, Roxy is not quite there yet herself, magic may be real, but why her of all people? She had been living her life as an ordinary girl and its starting to turn upside down, and she doesn’t quite know what to expect. And truly, why would she be the last earth fairy and not someone else?

Roxy transforming was never about her own, it was always about one she loved, defending her dog, her best friend in life. Following her steps in becoming a true fairy, she would have to go to Alfea and leave everyone behind, her father and her dog. (We can’t say human friends as we never saw them, but I believe she may not have had many close friends outside of animals). Notice how she would have to leave behind her reason she reached for her powers?

Finding her mother finally does give Roxy an answer to why she is the last fairy – it's in the family. Moreover, her mother will live with her father and Roxy would feel less bad about leaving her father behind, he and Morgana will be together. And she had time to get used to her being a fairy, which is how she does accept going to Alfea.

Criticism: Roxy is Bloom 2.0 or a copy of Bloom

One other popular criticism is Roxy is essentially a copy of Bloom, last earth fairy, princess to a realm (Domino and Earth respectively) and their shared origin on earth. Both Roxy and Bloom can be hot headed as well and are loyal to a fault. Yet, neither personality trait is making Roxy a cloe, all the Winx are loyal and Musa and Aisha share the hot-headedness as well.

Not to say, both girls reacted very differently to magic, as I outlined in the above section. Bloom was very much onboard from the second Stella told her she was a fairy, immediately wanting to go to Alfea and persuaded her parents to let her go while Roxy was a lot more hesitant.

This does cause Roxy to know she is ready and not doubt herself, once she had made her decision and come to term with it, whereas Bloom constantly doubted herself even later (if the roles were reversed, the Trix would never have been able to steal the dragon flame because Roxy would not have been this insecure).

As @whitecirclepixie has put it when we talked, while Bloom is a strong leader, she also has a lot of insecurities that can get the better of her, while Roxy knows her worth and shows how powerful she is. This would lead to the two of them forging a deep friendship (relationship) given the chance at interaction and they could bond over their origin, while reacting differently, they could give each other different perspectives about magic.

Roxy would give Bloom more security about having been raised without magic and show Bloom, yes earth fairies belong to the magic world, while Bloom could give Roxy guidance in getting used to magic, having lived through it herself as well as give each other the tie to earth, they might otherwise loose (especially Bloom).

Final thoughts

To me, the portrayal of Roxy has a lot more realistic roots amidst a season of bad writing. Not only are Roxy’s reaction similar to how most people would react and be more suspicious of anything that’s basically out of the ordinary – that is not to invalidate Bloom who represents everyone who always wants to go on an adventure and be something more magical and special – but Roxy was also less representative for the audience and how they would react (or believe they would).

Roxy is a fresh of breath air with her more realistic suspicious portrayal and the rather cartoonlike trustingness of the Winx but it does make her seem out of place at times in a show aimed at a much younger audience who want to believe.

Quite so, this made Roxy a much more natural fit to World of Winx, where her portrayal fits the tone of the show a lot more – and having her question Bloom’s trust in Jim makes the viewer question Jim as well and speaks for some of the audience not wanting to trust Jim, myself included. It does make me wish Roxy would have faced Tinkerbell, as this would have given much more nuance to the ‘redemption’ Tinkerbell got.

I would insert a paragraph about Season 7 here, but I have not watched the season, so I cannot say much except from the looks of it, Roxy would have deserved to be part of the main cast at least for that story (but this may be yet another of the ‘focus on the wrong character’ curse Season 5 had to endure with Aisha). Season 7 would have been the perfect time for Roxy to shine and it was a huge opportunity misssed.

[autolenaphilia]

My thoughts on the 1989-2010 BBC Radio Drama adaptation of Sherlock Holmes with Clive Merrison

Michael Williams and Clive Merrison

The Sherlock Holmes BBC radio drama series starring Clive Merrison is known to be the first adaptation to adapt every canonical story. It is also in my opinion, the best adaptation.

But let’s start with the basic facts of this radio series. There were technically two series of Holmes adaptations, both starring Clive Merrison as Holmes.

The first was the complete adaptation of all 60 of the canonical stories. They were broadcast from 1989 to 1998. They starred Michael Williams as Doctor Watson. They were made in two formats. The short story adaptations were about 45 minutes long, and were broadcast from 1990 to 1995 in the order the original stories are in the book collections (probably the first adaptation to be that systematic about it, earlier adaptations did them out of order). Each adaptation of the four longer stories are in two parts, each one hour long. The first two novels were first broadcast in 1989, the latter two in 1997 and 1998.

The 45 minute format for the short stories matter because while Holmes has often been adapted to radio before this BBC series, it had seldom or perhaps even never had a regular series of this length. Most adaptations for radio of the stories until that point were just 30 minutes long. That was what Rathbone and Bruce had to work with in their radio series (even less actually due to the commercials), and also that was the episode length of the Gielgud/Richardson series and the Carleton Hobbs/Norman Shelley series. The 45 minute format meant that the stories had time to breathe but also meant that especially the shorter and simpler stories had to be expanded upon.

The adaptations are still largely faithful, the basic plot and characters of the original are still there in the radio dramas, but they all have extra scenes to work out in the 45 minute format.

This extra material is technically filler, but doesn’t feel like it. Instead of just taking up airtime, the writers actually try to add something to the canonical story being told. The radio plays dramatize what is only talked about in passing in the original, try to add emotional depth and motivations to characters, or even outright try to fix faults in the original story.

To name some examples, we get to hear the dramatic backstory actually be dramatized in “The Crooked Man”, Violet Smith gets to confront Carruthers about how he played cards for her in “The Solitary Cyclist”, a socially awkward Holmes tries to invite Watson to spend Christmas with him in “The Blue Carbuncle” and we learn who the mysterious Mrs Turner is in “A Scandal in Bohemia” (one of Conan Doyle’s many continuity errors, where he forgot Mrs Hudson’s name and called her Turner. This gets elegantly solved solved by making Ms Turner someone Mrs Hudson hired to fill in for her when Mrs Hudson was ill.)

The results are overall brilliant, thanks to the quality of writing. The adaptations of canonical material is generally well-done, with the expansion of the stories strengthening the episodes instead of just being filler. The writers varied over the series, even if the most prolific was Bert Coules, who wrote the scripts for all four of the novels and 24 of the short stories. Yet the radio series feels quite tonally coherent and the quality of the writing is overall high.

The adaptations of the great stories in the canon never let down their source material and are overall well-done. Practically all of my own personal favourites, like “The Copper Beeches”, “The Naval Treaty”, “Charles Augustus Milverton”, “The Bruce-Partington Plans” and “The Illustrious Client” (to just pick one from each collection, I have several more favourites of course), get solid adaptations.

The adapters are able to find the merits of even the odder stories in the canon and make good use of them in their adaptations. A good example is “The Engineer’s Thumb” (odd because Holmes and Watson largely don’t do anything and just listen to their clients story), which skilfully turns the suspense of the original story into suspenseful radio.

At its best, the radio dramas actually improve on the original story being adapted. “The Dying Detective” is not a bad story, but the radio drama is actually better. The original is a rather short story and there is a lot of extra story material needed to make it work as a 45 minute radio play. And the script by Robert Forrest uses all this free airtime to expand Culverton Smith’s character into something more complex. Here we get to hear scenes depicting the lead-up to his nephew’s murder, and Smith’s reasons for committing it. Smith is more sympathetic in this version, the nephew is depicted as a foolish rich racist snob, even if the flashbacks come from Smith’s own monologue, making him potentially an unreliable narrator. The expanded adaptation also gives Holmes more to do in his role as a dying and raving man, and Merrison makes the most out of it.

“His Last Bow” is another radio episode that improves on its source material. The original is a thin story, a simple propagandistic spy story notable really only for being Holmes and Watson’s final adventure in-universe.  The script for the radio adaptation makes it feel more epic by depicting the lead-up to the central scene in the original story in detail. It imagines Holmes’s personal reasons for retiring (something left unexplained in the canon) and makes Von Bork into a far more formidable foe worthy of Holmes’s attentions.

Probably the adaptation that most improves on its source material is probably “The Lion’s Mane”. If I would rank all the stories, I’m pretty sure “The Lion’s Mane” would end up towards the bottom, and I think most fans would agree with me about that. Yet the radio drama adapted from it is one of my favourites from the series. The adaptation radically re-imagines the story and is odd even by the series’s own standards.  The events of the original story are already past, with Holmes already having solved the mystery when the radio drama takes place. Instead it takes place when Watson later visits Holmes in his retirement. And during that visit, Holmes tells him about the mystery he experienced and invites Watson to solve it himself for fun. It has an odd structure for the series, where there is no supporting cast or characters, no dramatized flashbacks to the events being talked about, only Merrison’s Holmes and Williams’s Watson. The entire episode is a series of dialogues between the two. And it works wonderfully. The repartee and general chemistry between Holmes and Watson is one of the strengths of this radio series, and this episode is full of that.

Let’s talk about Holmes and Watson in this series.

Merrison has a remarkable resemblance to Sidney Paget’s conception of Holmes

Clive Merrison’s Holmes is outstanding. It is a performance filled with manic energy, eccentricity and theatrical flair. Holmes is energetic when interested, bored with life when he can’t divert himself. Occasionally rude (especially against the upper class) and socially awkward, he also is capable of great kindness, has a drive for justice and a close friendship with Watson. If this description sounds exactly like the Holmes of canon, it is because Merrison’s Holmes is exceptionally true to the text. It is a great voice actor doing his utmost to bring the Holmes of the page to life using his voice. It is an immense achievement and Merrison is my favourite Holmes. Whenever I imagine Holmes’s voice, it is Merrison I hear.

Michael Williams played Watson in all of the canonical adaptations, and he is equally great. Watson is an equal partner in these adaptations, not any kind of comic relief side-kick and Williams plays him accordingly. Williams’s Watson is a strong, intelligent, courageous and warm-hearted man. He is the embodiment of Victorian virtues, the “normal” antipole to Holmes’s eccentricity.

He is tolerant, yet naturally exasperated with Holmes sometimes. Watson often verbally spars with Holmes, with them bickering with each other like an old married couple. Yet there is always a strong sense of the love, friendship and undying loyalty in their relationship. Again, if Williams’s Watson sounds like the canonical Watson it is because he basically is. It is a great performance, and like with Merrison and Holmes, Williams’s warm voice is what I imagine the character of Watson to sound like.

Merrison and Williams are the only constants in the series, but they are far from the only good actors. The acting in this series is of the highest quality all the way through.

Recurring characters are sometimes re-cast but it seldom proves jarring. John Hartley is a good Myrcroft, very soft-spoken but sharply intelligent. Mrs Hudson is sadly under-used, but played very well by Joan Matheson especially (Matheson was the most frequent but not the only Mrs Hudson). Judi Dench (who was married to Michael Williams) also appears in the role as a special guest in “The Hound of the Baskervilles”.

Unlike other adaptations, the radio series has the sense to not over-use Lestrade and they don’t put him in stories where he did not appear, instead having a variety of inspectors like in the canon. Still Donald Gee and Stephen Thorne both do an admirable job of portraying the police inspector.

Of course the Holmes stories are just as much about the people Holmes and Watson meet during their adventures as it is about them. There are many well-known actors which fill those roles like Brian Blessed and Denis Quilley, yet also relatively unknown actors like Imogen Stubbs. The quality of the acting however never wavers and is overall very fine indeed.

The quality of the acting attests to the overall high production quality of this radio series. The direction, largely by Patrick Rayner and Enyd Williams who between them directed and produced most of the series, is excellent.

The sound design and effects are very well-made, and create the kind of convincing atmosphere that great audio drama is so good at. I forget that I’m listening to actors in a studio, and instead get a vivid impression of the environments they are in through the sound design.

The result is perhaps the greatest of the many Sherlock Holmes adaptations. It is the first to adapt every story, but the radio series is not just complete, the quality of the adaptations in writing, acting and production is excellent.

If any adaptation is definitive, this radio series is it. I love and respect the Granada series, but the BBC radio series is more consistent in quality and did actually finish adapting the entire canon. The only reason it isn’t more well-known I suspect is the popular prejudice against audio drama as a medium. Audio drama is seen as outdated and suffers from invisibility compared to tv and film. It is an unfair prejudice and the BBC radio Holmes adaptations is more than proof of that.

After the entire canon was adapted, the popularity of the shows led to the decision to continue the series with original scripts, all written by Bert Coules. This new series was called “The Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes”.

It consists of 16 episodes, all around 45 minutes long, and aired in four series from 2002 to 2010. The final series was one story in two parts as a grand finale for the whole venture, making 15 stories overall.

Clive Merrison continued to star as Holmes, but the unfortunate death of Michael Williams after he had finished the complete adaptation of the canon led to the role of Watson having to be re-cast.

  Andrew Sachs and Clive Merrison

The new Watson for “The Further Adventures is Andrew Sachs. Most well-know for playing Manuel in Fawlty Towers, he had an extensive career in radio drama and appeared previously on the show playing the King in “A Scandal in Bohemia”.

Hearing Merrison as Holmes with Sachs as Watson is admittedly a bit jarring at first after being so used to Williams’s portrayal. But I soon got used to him and the fine qualities of the performance became evident. This Watson is similar to Williams’s Watson in his intelligence, capabilities and compassion. The most evident change is that Sachs’s Watson is more soft-spoken. This changes the tone of the dialogue between Holmes and Watson, with Watson less often directly expressing anger and indicating his disagreements through subtle uses of wit and sarcasm. Yet the love and loyalty of the relationship between Holmes and Watson is still very much evident. The “old married couple who bicker but love each other” feel of their relationship is perhaps even stronger in their arguments now, with Watson almost literally going “yes, dear” in response to Holmes’s outlandish actions. It is an excellent performance.

The new stories written by Coules are based on references to untold stories in the canon. We get to learn about Colonel Warburton’s madness, the peculiar prosecution of John Vincent Harden, the Abergavenny murder, who “Merridew of abominable memory” was, and in the finale, “the whole story concerning the politician, the lighthouse, and the trained cormorant“.

The scripts are in general very good and present several enjoyable mysteries with strong characterizations. Some of my favourites are “The Singular Inheritance of Gloria Wilson”, “The Abergavenny Murder” and “The Remarkable performance of Frederick Merridew”. There are some lighter episodes, but the tone overall is noticeably dark, with Coules having the goal of exploring subjects that Conan Doyle wouldn’t because of the time he was writing in. We thus get episodes involving child murder and suicide.

The new episodes feel like a natural continuation of the early canon adaptations. The style is of course not a direct pastiche of the canon, but rather of the earlier BBC radio adaptations of the canon.

This form of auto-pastiche succeeds thanks to the production values being of the same high standard as before. Patrick Rayner, one of the main director-producers of the original series of canon adaptations continues his work here as the sole director-producer with similar great results. The sound effects and design are just as immersive in this series.

The acting is once again superb. Merrison continues his great performance as Holmes and Sachs is an excellent replacement for Michael Williams. The supporting cast is made-up of the same high quality actors as before, with famous names like Tom Baker and Toyah Wilcox having guest star roles.

“The Further Adventures” is overall a worthy continuation of the BBC’s adaptations of the Holmes canon. The high standards of the original series in writing, acting and direction are once again fulfilled and anyone who has enjoyed the canon adaptations and wanted more stories with Merrison as Holmes made by the BBC will probably be satisfied with “The Further Adventures”.

In particular, “The Marlbourne Point Mystery” is a worthy finale to the great undertaking that the BBC series starring Merrison has been. And the final scene, with Holmes and Watson reflecting on how Watson’s stories have made the two immortal is extremely moving.

I must also mention the book “221BBC” by Bert Coules, which is published by the Wessex Press and available from their website.  This book is a personal account of the making of the BBC series, with information on every episode Coules was involved in. The book is well-written and the anecdotes and information in it is highly interesting for any fan of this radio series. The book can be a bit pricy if international shipping is factored in, but very much worth it.

Other resources worth mentioning are the semi-official site about the series. There are also some podcast interviews of people involved that are well worth hearing, like The I Hear of Sherlock everywhere podcast interviews with Bert Coules and Clive Merrison. Coules has also appeared on the Baker Street Babes podcast.

The radio series can fairly easily be found online, both legally and otherwise. And if my fan-girly ramblings haven’t made it totally clear, I fully recommend you to listen to it if you have any interest at all in Sherlock Holmes.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Bits & Pieces, Themes & Evidence

Morning Everyone! So, below are just a bunch of bits and pieces that me, my fellow theorists and/or others in the fandom have come up. They don’t really fit into one, cohesive theory, but they’re most about or have come out of 10x18. I keep joking that this is the episode that just keeps on giving. We’re STILL talking about it and figuring things out about it.

Leah as a Hallucination/Daryl’s PTSD:

It’s been suggested that in 10x18, Dog never actually left Daryl. The episode is cut in a way to suggest that Daryl went long periods without seeing Dog (which is symbolic, of course) but maybe that’s not true and Dog was always there. Not only is that super interesting, but it works with one of my first observations. When I first watched the episode, I thought that the second time he sees Dog, first time as a grown dog and not a pup, and meets Leah, he didn't seem surprised to see Dog. So, I thought maybe he'd seen Dog a lot by then. I changed my mind for the sake of the symbolism. If it represents Grady, it makes more sense that Daryl simply recognized him as the pup me once met, but really had been separated from his for awhile. But I’m just saying this hallucination theory and the idea of Dog being there all along, just backs up my first impressions. That's all.

Also, weapon13whitefang left a long comment on my Tumblr post about Leah being a hallucination. It's really not so much about the show as about PTSD because they have some experience with it. I found it really interesting and enlightening, so it might interest some of you. You can read it HERE under the comments.

Why He Got Defensive at the Idea of Leah Leaving Him

A couple of my friends were talking about this, and this is just my contribution to the conversation. I think it's directly because Leah is predicated on his time with Beth. Even if he's not consciously aware of the delusion, some part of his UNconscious brain knows that Leah = Beth. And he knows Beth wouldn't have willingly left him. Not only because she said that, but because when she DID disappear, it wasn't her fault or her choice either time. So, when Carol says, "maybe she just left," Daryl's brain rails against that and he gets really defensive. And the interesting thing is that it's really not about him taking it personally or about his ego. It's about what he knows to be true of Beth. It's actually his brain being really logical in the midst of the delusion.

The Talk Dead to Me Podcast with Lynn Collins

I listened to the Talk Dead to me Podcast and this week’s guest was—no surprise—Lynn Collins. No huge TD smoking guns or anything, but it was interesting nonetheless. First of all, one of the really big C@ryl accounts was pretty much called out for being a toxic troll.

For anyone who doesn’t know, Lynn Collins gave a different interview a few days back (not this podcast; just a different one) in which she mentioned that Daryl and Carol’s relationship is very mother/son. Just after that, I won’t say the name but one of the most well known C@ryl accounts who can be REALLY nasty to…well…I was gonna say other shippers but pretty much anyone in the fandom who dares disagree with her, called Lynn an ageist for saying that Carol was mothering Daryl.

So, when the podcast began, Johnny O’Dell, who is the host, said that most TWD fans are super cool but a lot of the shippers can be toxic. He doesn't mention any particular ships in accordance to that (I actually think he briefly mentions all of them, saying people ship Daryl with Carol, Beth, Connie, and Rosita the most) but then after saying SOME of the shippers can be toxic, he talked about the post she made calling Lynn Collins ageist and said that was ridiculous and toxic and that we need to be cool to the actors. So, it's very obvious it was her comment he was talking about.

And of course, the ageist thing she accused Lynn Collins of is ridiculous. Not only is it true that Carol and Daryl’s relationship can be very mother/son at times, but saying so is not an insult to Carol. It’s a comment on the nature of the relationship, not on anyone’s actual age. Of course Carol isn’t old enough to be Daryl’s mom. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t mother him.

Then when Lynn Collins came onto the podcast, she addressed the ageist comment. She basically said everything I said above in more detail. She talked about how she was taken aback by being called that because, being a woman over 40 in Hollywood, she actually deals with a lot of ageism. And about how she's a mother, but became one a little later in life (in her thirties, rather than her twenties) and she was shocked that being called a mother can actually be derogatory to some people. It REALLY shouldn’t be. It’s really sad that people would take that as an insult. And then she went on to say that any character can be maternal, even if they're not the biological mother of the person they're mothering. She even said Daryl is somewhat paternal to Carol, teaching her how to gut a fish and everything.

Now, maybe this is neither here nor there when it comes to TD stuff. But one thing I thought was really interesting was that Lynn Collins said when she first started watching the show in S2 or S3, she was actually a Caryler. She wanted them together originally. She also said that eventually she realized that's not where they were going with it and kind of moved on. 

But the thing is, it just proves to me even more that she's being told to talk about it in a particular way. If everything she's said is true: that she was a raging fan and has been in the tags and talking about it a ton (and she says that on the podcast again; that she would get really excited about it and watch with friends and they would tell her to chill, lol) then why on earth would you talk about Daryl and Carol as a mother/son relationship...unless you were instructed to. 

She knows how passionate and sometimes toxic the Caryl ship is because she used to be one of them. So that just drove home for me that this isn't something she would just come up with on her own. And I did like what she said and how she said it. I honestly think she's trying to help the Carylers feel better about things, but also let them down gently. And of course there are some hardcore Carylers, like that account that said the ageist thing, that are just never going to give it up. Not much anyone can do about that.

The only other thing that struck me about the podcast, and also brought to mind stuff said on TTD, is that I'm more and more sure that everyone knows what's up with Leah's character. If she's an illusion (and I'll assume she is until we know different) I think everyone knows that. I think Lynn knows it, Norman, Melissa, all of them. 

For one thing, she said in this podcast that she didn't know if or when she'd be back. That was kind of a slip of the tongue, I think, because we already know she's signed on for S11, and she's announced it. And they're filming. So that's just untrue. And I thought that about Melissa on TTD, too. She said she didn't know what the Leah story line would be, they only told her a little bit back in Bonds when she had to say "her dog." But Melissa is a long time, mainstream cast member. I just don't believe that she doesn't know where the story is going. Again, just something they're instructed to say. But something else occurred to me, too.

When Melissa talked about the "her dog" line on TTD, she said, "there was a line that became a thing." From that, I have to assume she meant that people started to obsess about it online and wonder what the "her" was about. I honestly don't know if anyone other than TD picked out that line, but they might have. Either way, between this, and their reaction to the Caryler's "ageist" comment, it proves that they read the online theories. And of course we all already know that, but there's proof. That ageist comment was posted like 24 hours ago. And already they're addressing it and obviously don't like it and don't want people thinking the show or its actors are associated with that sort of thing.

Which is exactly why I think they HAVE to know about our Leah-is-a-hallucination theory. Even others outside our fandom suspect it. But the writers aren't addressing that. And don't get me wrong: I don't think they will. The Bonds line was literally MONTHS ago, and they waited until the Leah episode to address it. Because otherwise, they'd have to give spoilers and they weren't going to do that. But my point is, if the hallucination theory was not a thing (kind of like Rick being on TWB was not a thing and Lynn Collins being an ageist is not a thing and Beth not being BBQed at Terminus was not a thing) they would be addressing and discrediting it. They aren't. I’m definitely side-eyeing that.

Daryl’s Search for Rick/Beth’s Search for Liquor

This is something my fellow theorists and I were discussing back and forth for a few days. I’m not going to give you the entire conversation, but someone said something about Beth searching for liquor in Still and couldn’t that be a foreshadow? See—you’ll probably hear more about this in coming weeks—but we’ve been rewatching old episodes like Still, Alone, and others, with an eye toward what we’ve learned from S10 and especially the bonus episodes. And we’re realizing there’s a lot more foreshadowing in them than we ever realized before. Most of what’s in them we’ve looked at in terms of the Bethyl romance and of course Beth’s return, but I for one have never thought to go beyond that. Yeah, I REALLY should have.

So here’s the thing. We always talk about Daryl searching for people, but Beth was searching for liquor in that episode. I've never really thought to connect those two things. It either represents the same template of Daryl's search for her, or it might represent her searching for him. But then, those two templates may be one and the same. I need to think on it more and make more connections.

One thing it did make me think of, though, is that there's a theme about not accepting the first and only thing that comes your way, because there's something bigger, better, happier, more fulfilling down the road. So, Daryl didn't want Beth to drink the peach schnapps because that's a weak drink. He wanted her to have a REAL drink. And of course we've talked about this theme in terms of the peach schnapps before.

But we kind of see it everywhere, including in relationships. The small, short term relationships all follow this pattern. Maybe it’s not a terrible relationship, but it’s not true love, either. So they need to move on from it and find the more perfect relationship for them. The locations or homes do, too. So, in 4b, we saw each of the groups stop somewhere and try to stay. And it wasn't so much that they chose not to. More often than not, circumstances forced them to leave. But still. The theme is that it was better that they moved on so a bigger reunion could take place.

And on that note, Leah really still does fit the short-term relationship pattern. If the point was to always show short term relationships that weren't ideal and something better coming down the road, that's why they wanted to do something like this for Daryl. Beth is obviously going to be the much better, more fitting, more fulfilling relationship, where he belongs, etc. But I think they knew they couldn't do that without doing a disservice to Daryl's character. The only way to satisfy both criteria was to make her a hallucination. So the pattern is still there, but for him, it's not a real or literal relationship.

Find Me Theme

So, @wdway​ is the one who reminded me of this. Back in 9x05, Rick gets hurt and starts hallucinating right before blowing up the bridge and being taken to the CRM by Jadis, right? All on the same page? Well, in that episode, there’s a huge theme about Rick finding his family. In every hallucination, he tells the people he sees—Shane, Hershel, etc—that he’s looking for his family and needs to find them. Near the end, he hallucinates Michonne and the others being with him on the bridge, and Michonne tells him that they’re his family and he did find them. Then, just before he shoots the dynamite, he says, “I found them.”

And now we have this episode called “Find Me” where Daryl is obsessively searching for Rick, and there’s a ridiculous amount of Beth symbolism thrown in. Are we seeing the over-arching theme?

So, what does this mean? I don’t think I’ve really pinned it all down, yet. But I do think this is an over-arching theme for the entire show. I think in some ways, “home” and “family” are synonymous, because home is wherever your family is. It’s not a physical location.

But we started out with Rick looking for Carl and Lori. Then Merle went missing, and Daryl searched for him. Everyone searched for Sophia when she disappeared. And the list goes on and on. So it’s a big theme. I’ve always said Andy didn’t leave the show just to spend more time with his family. That’s a happy bonus, I’m sure. But this was always a planned part of the story. Now Michonne is actively looking for Rick, we see Daryl searching for his body. And the reason Beth symbolism is thrown in is because he searched for her, but they didn’t show us that and won’t because it would be spoilery. And Beth is alive, even if Daryl doesn’t know it. And yeah, I could go on and on. Just wanted to point out this theme and how important it is. Which leads me to….

The Three Spikes

The last thing I’ll mention is the grouping of the three spikes he sees both by the door and on the outside of the house that we’ve all been trying to interpret. I kind of had a breakthrough the other night. But the thing is, it’s not just a breakthrough on the three spikes.

It’s kind of a breakthrough on the ENTIRE rule of threes theme. It’s actually kind of epic.

So here’s how I came to this. I was going over the template in my head, yet again, that I mentioned is shown both here, in 6x03, and that will be in the spinoff. So let’s run through it. We’ll use this episode, 10x18, as the example. So, Daryl is searching for Rick, right? And Carol wants him to stop and come back with her to where Zeke and Henry are. Those are two possible choices for him. But there’s also a third: staying with Leah.

Similarly, in 6x03, Daryl goes searching for Rick, rather than staying with Sasha and Abraham. Those are the two things he’s trying to decide between, and he eventually goes back to Sashraham. 

Now, there is actually a third choice there. It’s just that Daryl doesn’t seriously consider it. The third choice is going back to Alexandria to help them. And this IS addressed in the episode because they talk about how they don’t know what happened, but some loud noise pulled half the herd off the road. We, the viewers, know it’s the Wolves, but Daryl, Sasha, and Abe really didn’t know what was going on there. And who is back in Alexandria, spear-heading the defensive against the wolves? Carol!

So you see what I mean. There are three possible choices there: find Rick, go with Carol, or stay with Sashraham. And I’ve said forever that Sashraham = Beth/Bethyl. And of course so does Leah. So the third choice is always the one that represents Beth.

Do you see where I’m going with this? If not, I’ll just tell you. This represents three different paths for Daryl. They’ll diverge at some point and he’ll have to make a choice about which one to take. And then I realized—duh!—they’re all actually represented for us here in this episode. Not only because of what I said above, but because Leah lays them out in her ultimatum. Where do you belong 1) out looking endlessly for your brother 2) back at the communities with your family (i.e. Carol) or 3) here with me.

So those are the three paths that he’ll have to choose between during the spinoff. That’s what the spikes are about, because they specifically dealt with his three choices in this episode. But that may even be the reason they used the rule of threes around Beth to begin with. She’s the third and correct path.

Want more proof this is a thing? @wdway​ sent me this pic after I first told her about it:

And guys, go back and watch this. When he gets to the crossroads, the camera pans around him, showing him being unsure about which path to take.

Then, while writing this up, I remembered that this did this in 6x03 as well:

On the left is Daryl on his bike, rejoining Sasha and Abraham who are coming down from the top.

Yeah, 3 paths. 3 spikes. Rule of 3s. Who’s excited for the spinoff? 🙋

Now, just one more thing not add to this I think you all will like. In re-watching 9x05, there’s the part where Rick hallucinates Shane, right? Well, part of their conversation there is about the “third man.” And I’ve talked about this before, but probably not nearly enough, because it’s more important than most of us give it credit for. Rick and Shane talk about when Rick was shot in 1x01 before the apocalypse hit. They say they thought there was only 2 men, but there was a third they didn’t know about and “that changed everything.”

I always saw that as perhaps a statement about Grady. Because they should have had three prisoners for the hostage exchange, where Dawn only had two (Carol and Beth). But after Rick killed Lambson, they only had two. If they’d had three, Dawn wouldn’t have been able to demand Noah back, because it would have been an even exchange. So the third man would have changed everything.

Another way to think about it is that, if the shot that hit Beth didn’t come from Dawn—and it REALLY didn’t, y’all) then there was another threat somewhere that they couldn’t see and didn’t know about. If they had, they might have been able to guard against it. See what I mean? I genuinely believe they used Rick’s arc in 1x01 as a jumping off point for planning what happened at Grady.

So, when I rewatched 9x05 and heard this conversation between Rick and Shane yet again, it made me think of the three spikes and Daryl’s 3 paths. So what if he only knows about the two paths he can take: look for Rick or go with Carol. But there’s a third path he’s not aware of, yet. But the third path changes everything. Because that’s where/how he’ll find Beth.

Eh, eh?

Okay, well, I’ve given you enough to chew on today. These are just some things we’ve been discussing from the episode that just keeps on giving. ;D Meanwhile, episode 19 will be airing in a few days, and it will be fabulous, too. Probably not quite as epic as 10x18, but still fabulous. ;D Thoughts?

[rwbyconversations]

The Scarlet Letter: Let’s talk about RWBY’s male LGBT rep

I have been sitting on this post for nearly four weeks waiting until the 15th due to the Before the Dawn spoiler rules.

So let's start with a blunt statement: RWBY's male LGBT representation has not been good. If the series' handling of female LGBT rep is good (which... well there's worse shows) and the general standard for how you write LGBT characters in a show like this, its handling of male rep has been... how not to. And Before the Dawn kinda solidified the idea in my head that the show's handling of its male LGBT cast just isn't good enough, either by the standards of when RWBY began in 2013, or today in 2020 when compatively massive steps have been taken over the past decade to show a more diverse list of characters... or at least a more diverse list of female characters.

I don't wanna make this a pissing match over how over-or-under-represented male or female LGBT characters are, but I feel like it's safe to say that the majority of the trend-setters for modern romances, especially in western animation, have been between women. Korra and Asami from Korra, Chloe and Max from Life is Strange, Marceline and Bubblegum in Adventure Time, (insert the relevant Steven Universe characters here, never watched it), and more recently, Adora and Catra in She-Ra and Luz in Owl House.

Compatively, while studies have shown that in general male LGBT characters get more appearances on a purely numerical level, in general they're more one-off characters there to pad a roster, or played more for comedy (see Josh Gad in the Beauty and the Beast remake or the gay guy in Avengers Endgame that was more notable for how hard China and Russia snapped him out of existance). The only big male-LGBT focused media I can think of from the last decade would be Yuri On Ice, Moonlight, IDW's Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye (Chromedome/Rewind best pairing fuck you Roberts for issue 16) Love Simon, and the anime adaptation of Banana Fish.

So it's no surprise that RWBY basically follows these ideas. It's big romance is (unless the writers are very stupid) going to be between Blake and Yang, their first out character was Ilia, Coco got sent to the Book Dimension where she confirmed "I use my sunglasses to perv on women without their knowledge" which uh... yeah you can definitely tell RWBY is written by men... and Volume 6 had Saph and Terra being a good example of an LGBT couple without any real drama. In the last three years alone, the show has drastically increased its lesbian and bisexual characters, alongside even including its first out trans character in May Marigold (albeit only revealed on Twitter). In general, these depictions of sexuality have been pretty OK. Would have liked it if Ilia wasn't immediately written out of the show after Volume 5 as it made her feel a bit more disposable than intended but whatever, subject for another day.

RWBY's male rep though is a bit spottier. There's the plant bois in Volume 5's premiere, we nearly had Pilot Boi until some last-minute revisions, and... Scarlet.

Why Scarlet's a bad launchpad for male LGBT rep

I don't like Scarlet or how his sexuality has been handled. Scarlet's homosexuality wasn't revealed in the show, or by the writers, or even in anything that's actually canon. He's confirmed gay in his sole of dialogue in a non-canon fan anthology, where the manga's Twitter team had to say that Miles suggested the idea and approved of it.

In short, Scarlet is Dumbledore'd, where his sexuality is revealed in out-of-show material and in a way that doesn't make it supremely obvious (Miles himself never commented to confirm this so this news was limited in how far it could spread. I'm genuinely curious how many people still don't know Scarlet's gay), and Scarlet himself is a nothing character who was written out of the show after Volume 3 and only reappeared in Before The Dawn, half a decade after he vanished. Compared to Ilia, as this came out after Ilia's entire arc in Volume 5, it's not a great starting point for mlm rep. But things would have been forgiven if it had gotten better, if the show did have more male LGBT characters introduced, even just on the Saphron/Terra level of just being around for a few episodes before leaving. Then it would have been a misfire but then we could all say "Things got better."

It... didn't. Which is why when Before the Dawn released in 2020, a full two years after Scarlet was first confirmed gay, while the franchise had more than doubled its wlw rep, Scarlet remained the one male character in the entire franchise who had a name and liked men. I remember vividly a fake leak for After The Fall which claimed Yatsuhashi would come out to Velvet and admit to having a crush on Fox. And I remember as well how many people were disappointed when it was said to be false, because it would have been nice for Yatsuhashi's character, especially after the fleshing out he gets in the CFVY books. If Yatsu had come out as gay in the books I'd like his writing enough to say he's a good case for rep, albeit with the caveat of "This is all in side material." But in reality, the leak was fake and Coco was confirmed gay instead.

Unfortunately, Before the Dawn proceeded to ruin Scarlet and made me at times feel genuinely uncomfortable as a queer man! Let's talk about that.

Before The Dawn is crap and Scarlet's writing is borderline offensive

I hate Before the Dawn. It's... bad. I read it while on a vacation and the only solace I had about the entire thing was that I'd bought an M&M chocolate bar. The bar was finished before the book. That bummed me out. It's not a very well written book, the prose is very Early 2010s YA Writer, none of the characters are memorable and there's various Fun Incidents like "NGDO using children as bait for Grimm," and "Neptune's hydrophpobia being used as a threat to torture him and the scene is played for comedy."

Theo was cool. I can't wait to see him as written by good writers, he should be a highlight of the Vacuo arc.

I had two hopes for Before the Dawn- "Don't be bad," and "Let Scarlet and Sage be well written." I'd liked how After The Fall had handled some of its characters (barring, y'know, Coco perving on women), especially Fox and Yatsu who were surprising in how much I liked them. I was looking forward to seeing Myers give Sage and Scarlet similar treatment- two relatively nothing characters meant he'd have a blank slate to write them however he wanted, he could give them unique personalties and if nothing else it could be cool to see their Semblances.

And then I read the book. (Sage fans I am so sorry for you, you got baited harder than Johnlock fans)

Scarlet's a giant dickhead in the book. It's his sole character trait and his inner monologues go on, and on, and on about how much he hates Sun, how he revels in mocking him. Most of his dialogue is sarcastic put-downs about Sun and how lame he is, and Sun is never properly allowed to defend himself or point out how going with Blake meant he was able to help save Haven Academy.

(hey remember when Sun in Volume 6 expressly says to Blake "I was a bad leader for ditching Neptune and the others, and I need to work on that" only for Before the Dawn to have him staunchly refuse to accept that he let the team down? I don't think Myers did but I do)

Scarlet being a ratty bitch would be one thing if, again, the franchise had done more rep. He'd still be a badly written character, but it wouldn't sting as much. But because Scarlet is still the only expressly confirmed male LGBT character in canon (the book teases that Nolan is gay but there's never confirmation either way beyond him smiling at Scarlet), it means that he has to represent that entire ideal. So when the one gay man in Remnant is being an asshole and a snide loser, that means that by extension, this is how the franchise sees gay men. And that fucking sucks! I wanted to come out of Before The Dawn singing its praises, I wanted to like the book, but it was a massive letdown, especially coming off of the other big 2020 RWBY controversy involving gay characters.

Yeah. We're doing this.

Clover and Fair Game: Technically not queerbaiting. BUT:

Let's pre-empt this: Clover wasn't queerbaiting, and Fair Game, while cool and I dig it, kudos to them for becoming one of the top 5 RWBY pairings on AO3 in one year that's fucking impressive (I say with mild malice as an IronQrow main), never had a chance. The writing never seriously boosted it barring one interaction which was flirty (them talking in the lobby of the Schnee Manor), and everything else was out of show boosting through the social media teams and CRWBY hyping it themselves by saying they liked it. If you wanna blame people, blame the animators who went off-script with stuff like Kim Newman adding the wink as a deliberate nod to the Volume 4 waitress, or the social media team deliberately using the same policies for Fair Game as they do for Renora and Bumblebee.

It wasn't Eddy's fault that things escalated, and he himself has said that in retrospect, he should have warned people that this never had a shot.

But I can't blame the Fair Game fanbase. Because Fair Game took off like wildfire. It came right as the fanbase began seriously asking for more male rep, Qrow's pretty hot, and the Clover wink came right after the Great IronQrow Reawakening of November 9th, 2019. The rocket was primed, and they rode it to the moon. Finally, to these people, after seven years RWBY seemed to be doing something with mlm rep in show. People started getting into RWBY just for Clover and Qrow's interactions. And if heroes were boring, Watts and Tyrian also had a fantastic dynamic that made Nuts and Volts one of the more popular villain ships overnight. Things seemed to be turning around! RWBY was remembering that gay men existed! You could hear the choir sing!

... And for those people, that meant that episode 12 hit like Truck-Kun.

People got pissed. People were horrified. And it didn't help that some members of CRWBY had said in the build-up that episode 12 would have some shots that made them nauseous (probably the Tyrian thumb thing) Out of context, it looked to these fans like CRWBY were basically laughing at their suffering, like they were saying "Lol, you thought you had a chance, get fucked, I hope your vomit burns on the way up."

Yeah, Fair Game was never gonna be canon, and I think some people ran too far with it. But in the wider context of how desperate RWBY's mlm community had gotten for basic crumbs of content? I can see why they'd run with what they had. The writers aren't at fault for what happened, but CRWBY didn't help matters. And that desperate mix of what felt like official backing from the crew, jokes about how cute the ship was, and the hope that finally the show would have onscreen rep? I can see why people ran with it.

So why is the show more lackluster in depicting mlm characters?

Money. Let's be honest, most RWBY fans don't care if the show doesn't have good male rep. I'm willing to bet some of you reading this won't care and just dismiss it as not being that big a problem. I don't think the writers care if the show doesn't have good mlm rep because they're not poaching that market. They're after what they see as a bigger, more lucrative market, which in this case is female LGBT rep. That gets people buying games, watching shows, raising awareness and boosting awareness of your property, which means you make more money. In short: Two women kissing hits more markets and generates more attention than two men.

Am I saying that Miles, Monty and Kerry deliberately sat down seven years ago and said "We're not doing gay men because it won't generate enough ad revenue and traffic to be worth the loss in revenue from homophobes?" No, that's silly. But I'm saying that it's less important for them, and it shows in the things that are small and add up. Things like Miles not verifying Scarlet's sexuality or retweeting the manga account's confirmation to spread the message (compared to how he enthusiastically confirmed Ilia being a lesbian himself during the Reddit AMA). It shows in how Pilot Boi would have been the first mlm character only to die in his second full episode until M&K were told about the Bury Your Gays trope. It shows in how Shannon believes that Ozma is "megaqueer" and Miles jokingly laughs it off instead of confirming it, leaving it to just be Shannon's headcanon. It shows in how actor shipping is compared between the mlm and wlw ships, where Arryn and Barbara's frequent pushes for Bumblebee are seen as "official confirmation that it's endgame" while Michael and Kerry saying they enjoy Seamonkeys is treated as "well it would be cute if they did it, but they're never going to."

I'm not gonna say anything like "CRWBY are gonna have Qrow end up with a woman like Robyn out of spite against the bad apples of the Fair Game crowd." I'm not gonna say that I don't think CRWBY cares about male representation in the series. It is, however, definitely a low priority for them, and because that leads to gaffes like Scarlet's writing in Before The Dawn being offensive in his depiction, it only makes the contrast between the sexes all the more painfully apparent.

I'm kinda tired of waiting for Rooster Teeth to show that they do care about mlm. I'm kinda tired of RWBY's male rep being written like it came from a 1993 time capsule where I have to enhance the screen to see a guy holding a sign of Sun's abs or be content with the only onscreen rep still being the plant bois in Volume 5. I'm tired of how often the crew dances around answering basic questions about sexuality (and age, and birthdays, and heights, and so on) by treating it as a spoiler question, as if just wanting to know what way people swing would ever be a spoiler. I'm just... tired of all this. When the best mlm rep in Rooster Teeth's history remains the two dads in Camp Camp who show up in a few episodes, that should say something really bad about your company and your biases (To say nothing of the recent Red vs Blue seasons and their blatant queerbaiting for Grif and Simmons and the whole can of worms that is Donut).

I'd like to not feel like I'm borderline unwelcome because I'd like to see two men in this show kiss, and that the sole thing that represents people like me in this show is some British twat who complains about sand.

I'd just like to feel like my sexuality isn't a joke to Rooster Teeth (or at the very least, be like Donut and have it be a funny one). But at this point after the last few years? I feel like a very uncomfortable punchline to them. And it just sucks.