#its not aug 3 anymore :///

[chiyoso]

“breaking the 4th wall”

h. star rail : jing yuan.

▶CONTENT. insomnia, self conscious doubt, comfort, self aware au, something personal for those who have trouble with loneliness, insomnia and exhaustion, jing yuan is self aware!

▶NOTE. im tired and its 3am, but jing yuan exists so have this comfort fic. also @ainescribe gift for your hardworking ass, ily aine feel better.

Your eyelids grew heavy, laid against the arm rest of the warm sofa, scrolling and tapping away at your phone for anything, any eventful thing that can spark a motivation, an inspiration to you.

It's eating you away. Death scrolling, letting the blue light affect your sleep instead of earning a sleep that your body desperately needs for tomorrow.

Yet, your fingers can't seem to stop moving, as if it had a mind on its own, causing further subconscious guilt and shame, a knowing voice gnawing and belittling behind your state of self, commenting on your disheveled, tired appearance, bags underneath your eyes, your flesh warning you of your stress and lack of self care that you couldn't find the time to do anymore. Shit, and the studying you have to do tomorrow.

All that, but your fingers never leave the glass screen.

3:25 AM Sun, Aug 6 ᯤ [▂] 22%

[Honkai: Star Rail] · PomPom: [Username]! Your trailblaz···

[Tumblr] · 16 new notes · [Your blog] ···

[Tumblr] · hiraethsdesires just posted a post...

[Weather] · 28° in [Place] Feels like 33° · Mostly Cloudy · S...

[Honkai Impact 3rd] · Captain! Your energy has replenishe...

⊗

“Finally.” You said, tapping the first notification.

You sighed, the notif reminding you of your shitty sleep schedule. It had originally updated you at the early mornings, gradually turning into afternoons, then the evening... night... and...

You were brought back to reality from the sound of the lobby theme, the Astral Express, traveling in your sight, wishing you would be reincarnated into such a life, meeting the ones who made this horrible, tedious lifespan bearable.

Once you hit tap, you were greeted with a loading screen that had Jing Yuan's fact along the bottom, earning a faint smile from you as the image of his splash art pops up in your mind.

Jing Yuan: The Divine Foresight, one of the Seven Arbiter-Generals of the Xianzhou Alliance, leads the Cloud Knights of the Xianzhou Luofu. A student of the Luofu's previous Sword Champion, though not known for his martial prowess.

You were greeted by the sight of Jing Yuan's pixels as always, greeting him bubbly and warmly as you spin him around to face you, zooming into his features, especially admiring his beauty mark under his eye.

“Pretty, so damn pretty,” You hum, moving onto other features, before resuming, checking your daily tasks.

Now what were you doing at this time of night?

You wouldn't know, you will never know, but he will always appreciate the way you greet him every day, but this day—being the observant, Arbiter General that he is, he notices your slurred, tired voice, but still coated with affection that he enjoyed quite a lot. He didn't quite like the bags underneath your pretty eyes that he will take glances of every chance he can get. He didn't like how you were feigning ignorance to your bodily needs, on how you were sacrificing sleep to play.

You led him to the cavern of corrosion; Path of the Holy Hymm once again, endlessly grinding the perfect relics for your main dps, wasting all your trailblaze powder for him. Bronya, Tingyun and Luocha snickered to themselves on how much you spoil the Arbiter General, on how much you baby him lovingly despite his commanding, superior status as the Xianzhou Luofu's face, causing his cheeks to grow hot in result of your affectionate words whenever you go to the character screen, setting and upgrading his relics.

“So strong my general...” His breath got caught to his throat upon hearing you, his blush deepening from the sudden suggestive tone in your voice.

The character screen was filled with the various people that you earned, and they were giggling and smirking slyly to your gestures, making his arms full of materials from the endless grind you did, all for him—a bonus as well, he didn't feel any shred of guilt as you do the same towards the others, but he was just your very, very favorite, and he knew all about it from your vocal prowess.

He would find your curses endearing when you get a shitty relic, but he would soon then join your annoyance as this body relic had stats befitting for a damn healer, might as well give it to Bailu since she's the same element, and fortunately a healer. (In which case you did.)

...

You worried him. Once you were done with your tasks and finishing off your remaining trailblaze powder, your eyelids threatened to shut, giving the Arbiter General a feeling that he hadn't felt in awhile, a certain dread, and a strong one at that towards the player who felt strongly about him.

Your consciousness was drifting, your lids weighing down, but the unthinkable happened.

On the top left corner under the map, a red exclamation mark appears on the chat logo, your tired eyes noticing the sudden mark, giving you a burst of little energy.

You blinked a few times, rubbing your lids gently before landing your irises upon the message again.

Was this a new message update?

A new trailblaze mission?

An event leak? Hoyoverse tease...?

You shook your head, regaining focus to check the patch notes in the game, seemingly finding nothing about any update, but your search doesn't stop there, you looked through the official website, hoyolabs, tumblr, youtube, heck even reddit—but none have mentioned a message regarding to this.

Deciding to remain quiet about this ordeal, you went back to the game to find another message, and another, his restlessness growing evident as the moonlight continues to dawn over your world.

3:38 AM Sun, Aug 6 ᯤ [▂] 19%

[Honkai: Star Rail] · 2 new messages from ▉▉▉▉ ▉▉▉▉ ···

[Tumblr] · hiraethsdesires just posted a post...

[Weather] · 28° in [Place] Feels like 33° · Mostly Cloudy · S...

[Honkai Impact 3rd] · Captain! Your energy has replenishe...

⊗

What- What the fuck?

Your throat lumped to the sight of the first notification, its whole box felt out of place from the others, yet you found your thumb nearing the glass towards the notif, accompanied with your growing blush and curiousity.

You were then met with the Hoyoverse screen once again, assessing the situation you were in as you stare into the blackness of the screen.

Was I... Imagining things? Surely not.

Fuck — I'll just... sleep all day tomorro—

...?

You were met with a slightly glitchy screen of the normal sequence of Jing Yuan's back, but he was... already in his phone. The sprite of his pixels, typing away, seeing the red exclamation mark on top of the speech bubble under the map, earning him a slight breathy inhale from you.

You click the link, losing your shit at the messages that fell before your eyes.

“Ha?”

“What the fuck? I-”

I've lost it.

Oh.

I haven't lost it?

You find yourself staring in silence, re-reading repeatedly the words that only instilled a slight fear yet wonder that was visible on your reddening face.

“But I-... How?” You spoke gently, softly. Something the General wished to hear again, and on cue, his sprite in the game chuckled, as if he was truly listening to you.

'I am only fiction to you' it rings through your head, aching your heart slightly.

You were about to speak, but another message popped up, leaving your body with disappointment and longing, gripping your phone as your eyes gloss over the phenomenon.

“W- Wait! Ji-... Jing Yu...”

You gulp down a lump, bringing your phone closer to your face, your eyes glistening, your whole senses overwhelmed with intensifying longing, warmth — yet accompanied with a growing heartache from the fleeting interaction and him excusing himself abruptly in this otherworldly situation.

...Wait.

Everythi—?

“General...” You muttered out softly, your reddening face from the embarrassing memories that flooded you, his words greatly reminding you of the times where you acted with full on eccentricity, degenerative behavior, lustful tendencies and so on. It made you wonder if other characters such as Blade, Welt — or perhaps even the Aeons heard and witnessed you all this time. It made you shiver with embaunable feelings of humiliation and continuous embarassment, making you unable to think clearly, and the way you threw away your phone onto the couch lightly to cover your heated face? Still being witnessed by the General, and a few other silent spectators of course.

Jing Yuan couldn't believe this situation as well.

This was somehow the work of Silverwolf, a wanted enemy of the Xianzhou, Destiny's Slave, but he felt the most warmth and joy since being summoned by you — no, especially this unforseen interaction with the mortal whose been taking care of everything in the universe within your phone, for taking great care of the Xianzhou especially.

... An endearing mortal at that.

The General and the rest of the game couldn't see as you apparently let go of your device, but your wails and silent squeals were still audible, as the General comes to a conclusion that you perhaps needed to calm down, but in reality, he quite enjoyed this spectacle of yours, even by only listening — in which he was once again very greatful for his grand, and sensitive sense of hearing as he listens to you.

After another, final deep breath, your hand reaches to your phone again, before beginning to press your fingers onto your screen in a frantic haze, but the joystick button was... unresponsive, as well as the others—except for the message button in this moment.

BZZT

Another messaged popped up, quickening your heartrate immediately.

“WH—” Your heart only fluttered and dropped at the same time.

He can do that?

It's... It's probably a bluff.

...

He's the Arbiter General, who am I kidding.

With a warm sigh of content, you find yourself smiling at your phone, hugging it onto your chest with the game still open unknowingly.

“...I love you all. You are all my calm and peace.”

You said quietly, sniffling and accompanied with sounds of your light breathing, drifting off your exhaustions away to fulfill your body's needs.

Finally in your slumber, your phone switches off within a few minutes, thus the floating screen on their end disappears, earning a content sigh from the General as he makes his way towards his office in the Exalting Sanctum, each step felt heavy without your sight now that you were aware he can — or his world can access yours in this small, yet impactful way, but his form grows with confidence, determination setting in his soul as his sights land upon the Cloud Knight whom guarded the way to his office.

Jing Yuan sought out to Welt Yang and Silverwolf immediately in secret after his satisfying interactions with you, informing them of what happened in full detail (though he left out the parts where you cosplayed a squealing tomato, sparing you from further humiliation) and the whole ordeal as it was successful. His subtle praises earned him multiple cheeky and cocky remarks from the criminal hacker, along with a few teasing about him being smitten by you (and to Welt as well), but what can he really do to retaliate back? She was a main source of intelligence and control who provided a connection to you in the first place.

Inevitable, but he was willing to cooperate either way, all for this world, for the Xianzhou — for you.

The three continue to dive into their conversations, planning on how he or others who are interested, can continue to interact with you further more without raising suspicion from their creators upon breaking a few bits of code and data. It was no doubt in mind risky, that was apparent, but so was their endearment and affection towards their human, their player.

In all honesty, Welt and Silverwolf also found themselves wanting to interact with you as well from Jing Yuan's stories of the first ever interaction you had to their world, but of course, if they did it consecutively, it would most definitely be noticable if a few more characters began to act on their own accord, threatening the programmed codes as numbers shift and modify suspiciously.

Though unfortunately, only resorting to using the message system for now, but Silverwolf was confident with her abilities, making use of the way she was made, using the descriptions laid for her against her own creators.

After all, Hoyoverse made her annoyingly cunning, intelligent and skilled. A mistake on their part, or rather, an intended choice of character building for players like us to create, indulge and enjoy? We'll never know.

Unless Hoyoverse put out a stream that specifies the matter, until then Silverwolf remains focused and unyielding to her program, heeding Jing Yuan's call if need be and taking Welt Yang's advices about his own knowledge when it came to multiverses and other worlds from his prior experiences. All this planning, the risk, the longing for more interactions with you — it was a motivation to the three, as well as for the others that greatly wished to converse with you.

An aloof and lazy, the general he may be, but he's a living legacy of dreams and determination for a reason.

A wielder of a great glaive with materials dropped from the remants of the Reignbow Arbiter's Lux Arrow — and tonight, as you slept peacefully, this felt like a moment of miracle once again, the fleeting moment of grace that made their world reach a state of serenity, all from the possibility of having to finally, finally interact with you.

reblogs help my audience reach, thank you.

[trinitytrilogy]

hi! i just noticed your patreon has no posts anymore? i don’t know much about patreon so i don’t know if that’s something that just happens but if you deleted all your posts on there, does that mean zeus’ dilemma is discontinued?

kfljdskljfk tdlr; not abandoned, i'll have a better post soon, im sorry yall :sob: i feel rly guilty, but there will be an update this month. more below the cut and tysm <3

hi! it's actually lowkey the opposite? i had a Bad Time at the start of 2023, and completely forgot like pretty much everything until i pulled myself out of that hole. i started writing again in july but i figured with the intense delay between my last post and now i should get two chapters out instead of one. anyway, chapter nine is kind of a quicker one (and i had already written the c romance lock and one of the other ro scenes, and chapter eight was previously drafted i just had to edit and add a few ro scenes spontaneously), so i figured why not. i'm also gonna release chapter five publically then, so ive been going back and making sure the first five chapters r as polished as i alone can make them.

if i simply cannot for some reason finish chapter nine by the end of this month, i'll just go ahead with posting chapter eight, so it won't be fully no updates for a while. it clocks in at about 20k words (and the parent scene is not written and will not be written), so its not unsubstantial i hope.

chapters 10&11 are both bigger than 8&9 in theory, but ive already written the romance locks for k&a (which take place in those chapters respectively) so there's a little work done there too. all in all, i'm about 75% of the way done w ZD and i have no plans to abandon it given how much it's taken to get this far,, im just bad w social media bc it gives me a lot of anxiety lol. im gonna log off again until ch. 9 is done (or aug. 31 hits lol), and im sorry if i havent gotten to ur ask, this was literally just the one at the top of my inbox. ik im rambling, but tysm for reading this far <3

i also have a separate message for patrons or anyone who used to be a patron, but that was dksjfkldsjk so i'm so sorry, just bear w me for a bit until i get the writing ready, i have a bad habit of letting guilt overwhelm me and making things worse.

[thefixations-ofmine]

Buck Week 2024 Challenge Day 3, Aug. 14

Prompt: “Stop Lying!” / Walking away / Anger Word count: 1186 Warnings: swearing, mention of possible abortion, implied cheating, Buck needs to go to the hospital again

Main Masterlist | Challenge Masterlist | AO3

-

After trying every trick in the book to stay awake the remainder of his shift, Buck conceded and made himself comfortable in the bunks after folding his last losing hand playing poker with Hen and Eddie. Their day had been (dare he hush, so faintly in the back of his mind) quiet, with the single call that ended up being unusually disturbing for a random Tuesday, the casualties piling up in their memory. There’s a heaviness in the air as Buck finally gets to drift off for a while so he envisions what he wants to do for his date with Tommy the following day.

There’s a dainty hand shaking his shoulder not even twenty minutes later, rough and decisive and it takes a longer time for the voice to make its way to his ears.

“Evan Buckley, wake up!” He knows that voice. Has heard that feminine voice every morning on the radio and has made that voice make plenty of ungodly noises. Buck manages to pry his eyes open, rushed into a bright blur. “Finally!”

“Evan, care to explain?” Tommy is standing on his other side of the bed, arms crossed and apparently just as annoyed as he is by the situation. Buck turns to the distraction and jump-scares when he sees Taylor standing in his room, in his loft, arm stretched out to hand him a piece of paper. He reaches to grab it but keeps his clueless eyes on her, trying to add one-plus-one as to why he ended up here.

“Discharge papers. I need you to sign them so I can go and get an abortion,” Taylor says sternly, but there’s a hint of fear in her tone. With a huff of impatience, she unfolds the document in his lap and leaves to fetch him a pen.

“Evan, let me repeat myself. Please expl-“

“Tommy, I have no idea what’s going on,” Buck whines, still not caring about the document in his lap as his head throbs. He’s frantic, dry-mouthed, unsure how to even take appropriate breaths anymore. Buck doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what to think as he watches Tommy leave the room to go downstairs. He’s up in a flash to follow him.

“Here, Buck,” Taylor says as she shuffles a pen across the kitchen island. He places the paper on the surface and just now lets himself read the implications of it. Quite clearly, this is in fact a parental rights resignation document. 

“How- Wha- I don’t understand,” Buck stammers in a whisper, pulling at his hair. “Who took me home from work?” He looks at Tommy and doesn’t enjoy the way his brows fold. There are tears creeping in his eyes as he looks back at Taylor.

“You quit your job two months ago, silly,” Taylor says with a chuckle. “Are you high, Buck?”

“Evan, answer her.” A shiver runs up Buck’s spine at Tommy’s tone.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up.” Is all he can say and Tommy picks up his jacket from the hanger and slips on his shoes. “Wait, wait! Tommy where are you-“

“Are you planning on being honest?” Tommy suggests an opening.

“I… Wha- I am being honest! What the fuck is going on? Tommy we’ve been together for months now, why would I-,” he puffs, choking on his breath, full-on crying now. He feels himself get warm, not loving their little game. He looks at the calendar on his fridge – yep, not April Fools’.

“Stop lying!” Taylor says, throwing her arms in the air. “You called me, drunk, from a bar the day after you quit. Crying about how you lost your family and your dreams. And as your girlfriend, I fucking showed up and took you home. We slept together in the following days because you were finally home all the time, shocker.” Taylor finishes her explanation with a saddened look for Tommy. He seems like a nice guy and despite having to deal with Buck cheating on her, with a man, and getting pregnant, she felt bad that he was brought into the mess. She goes to say some more, but he gets there first:

“Evan, last night was our third date. It’s the first time I slept over, because you always had excuses. Now I get it.” Tommy adds, still ready to leave. When he’s met with Buck’s stunned, agape mouth, Tommy turns the knob and with a dry goodbye, heads out. Buck stands from the stool and rushes to the door but his legs give out. All six-feet-two of him are sprawled on his cold floor, mind buzzing as he’s raging for answers.

“Listen, take the day to sober up and read the document. Call me when you feel like talking.” And without letting him reply, Taylor is out the door and the room starts spinning.

There’s a weight on Evan’s chest and it constricts him momentarily, but he can take deeper breaths now. He feels his body being enveloped, dragged, like he’s floating away but panic has stopped. Then something pinches at his skin and the pressure keeps coming faster on his sternum until he sits straight up with a loud inhale.

“Thank god,” Hen drops her head and lets out a nervous laugh. “Glad you’re back buddy.”

“Wha-“ The syllable feels like sand in his throat.

“Shh, don’t talk. Here, take this.” Bobby is by his side and hands him a glass of blue liquid. Gatorade. His favourite. There’s a collective hum around him and he realizes the entire house is in the room with them: Ravi’s taking off some surgical gloves in the corner and Eddie is sitting on his feet kneeling at his head with a breathing bag in hand. He’s sweaty, teary eyed as he catches his own breath. Then Hen takes on the lead with the explanation:

“I’m not sure what you were thinking, Buck, but those Tylenols you took, were not Tylenols. Thankfully you rolled off the bed and the thud alerted someone.” Buck looks at Bobby as if requesting additional information.

“You took someone’s antibiotics, Buck. You were in anaphylaxis. Thankfully we carry EpiPen’s, but we’re still going to need to get you to a hospital,” he says the words smoothly and it’s reassuring to Buck to see his captain not overly concerned with his current state despite the rattle in his breaths and the shooting pain in his chest caused by sturdy knuckles. Then there’s a sharp pang in his gut.

“T- Tommy,” Buck rumbles with a shaky lip.

“We already called Tommy, he’s going to meet us there,” Hen says, and Buck sighs, letting himself fall back into her embrace. With their help, he’s on his feet and hopping into the gurney to head to his third home. He remembers when Tommy had joked about getting a room for the 118. Maybe he was right. Oh Tommy… Buck gets overwhelmed with guilt and he sniffles a cry. There’s no siren loud enough or a convey fast enough to get him to his man so he can hug him out of this fever dream.

tagging the challenge host @evanbuckleyweek

[dread-and-despair-dyke]

i was going to complain abt the horrors and the things i did . but idk i dont wanna complain anymore. but i do. likee

there was a certain point where id learnt my lesson. aug/sept/oct 2023. lesson was learnt . i shldve left then like no further pain was needed i cldve been done with it all . but instead i made myself miserable for a further year and there wasnt even any further lesson to learn from it all after that, i just went insane and felt worthless and developed wonderful new complexes and issues that now plague me daily 🤩i cldve ended it a year earlier and have learnt my lessons and been fine after........ why did i do any of that shit even i made such a fucking fool of myself. humiliated myself to act that way over anyone, especially someone who just didnt care. whatever man

i feel so bad inside. why did i humiliate myself, let myself be seen in any capacity . why did i try to go against my very nature even, in some attempt to make things better... nobody asked me to do that, its nobodys fault but my own for the resulting distress. but gods it just. man . anyway

one day i want to get to be the person on the other end of this situation instead <3 then ill feel better

[fallingsatellive]

normal pinned post

About me:

We're a whatever-we-feel-like blog and we don't like having sideblogs. We started as exclusively a serious therianthropy and otherkin community blog in 2020. Then we tentatively dipped our claws into talking about dæmonism. Lately I've been getting really into Lethal Company. No blog themes here and hopefully I lose my mind the rest of the way and can really start to enjoy having this blog.

I'm pretentious in all trades and a college graduate in none. I have trite opinions on erudite subjects. If I start having erudite opinions on trite subjects, take me out back and put me down, I'm sick.

I post bugs. I post bug photos and up-close bug photos. I don't tag them "tw bugs". I don't tag them "horror." No matter what species you think should be the exception. I am literally a bug and this is a neutral and maybe even cool good thing. I will block you if you call me, photos of my species, or posts about my identity "graphic" or "body horror" and I'm not joking.

FAQ: "What is fictionflickering" See here. "I have something mean to say to you" Yay 💖 "I have something nice to say to you" Setting my self on fire ok "I have something nice to say about your art/writing" That's even more me than I am, haven't I suffered enough "I've decided you're not actually (x) for (y) reason" Duly noted, fragmentizing you

I change drastically a lot. It's normal for us. Don't worry about it. I try not to!

Physically not a human. Pacific raven, house centipede, cancrivorous raccoon, possibly other things, holothere that used to be a human. Physically not quite anything on its own, actually. Psychologically a lot of things. If you want to know, you can ask.

I'm not a writer. I'm a wronger.

G-d's least favorite beetle.

Only here because of reason. More of a process than I am a man. Useless as a lighthouse on the moon. & btw i love referencing lyrics of semi-obscure songs that people might know because i always get ecstatic to recognize other people doing it

Audiophagic insect, nyctophonic carnivore, birdthing, feathered quadruped, alive cento, former ghost, satellite that came back wrong, capable of passing the Turing test on a good day, enjoys becoming concepts, undiscovered deep sea invertebrate falling in love with the sky. Constant process of esotericizing.

פֿון טײַך ביזן ים װעט פּאַלעסטינע פֿרײַ זײַן

Where my current blog title is from

Re: the bio.

My name is Ekho. עכאָ is my name in Yiddish. It doesn't translate directly to "echo," that would be ווידערקאָל, it's just my name and how it's spelled.

I prefer "it." He is acceptable. A thing and a beaft and also a person at the same time. Singular they is only for if you know you're referring to something that's not human anymore. Plural they is extremely very cool. That's for me (Ekho). Others have their own pronouns. There is a brief system bio on our actual blog page.

≵ in mathematics — "neither greater than nor equivalent to"

On the Jewish Labor Bund and secular Yiddish communists/socialists

No I didn't misspell anachronism, I like portmanteaus.

∀ in mathematics — "for all."

Historically invert has been used as a slur for gay men and currently it's being used by transvestigators to other and dehumanize trans people. Here though I'm using it to mean I'm already othered and dehuman because I'm a literal invertebrate arthropod.

Reading: House of Leaves, Amerika, It Devours Playing: Everything (again) Current show(s): Welcome to Night Vale, Never Stop Blowing Up Focus WIPs: "Outside Gravity", "There Does Not Exist", if you want context, uh, why Imagine a world where I'm confident enough to have a current flicker section here too. Imagine it

We've also been: swiftfoxn (Nov 2020–Nov 2021) → novachaim (Nov 2021–Feb 2022) → technodance (for like a week) → chrysochus (Feb 2022–Aug 2022) → hraefngeyst (Aug 2022–Feb 2023) → a8c3bc (Feb 2023–May 2023) → stillflight (May 2023–Jun 2024 R.I.P.) → myriadeyed (Jan 2024–Oct 2024 <3) → fallingsatellive (current but very temporary) → got a few ideas!

"LOVE THIS PLACE OR IT WILL KEEP YOU"

[pozge-pridumayu]

the politics here is just. oh boy 💀 it's so bad

if i had the chance i would just strangle the guy thats governing us with my bare hands. i shit you not im almost 18 and i haven't seen another president at all. i dont know how people keep voting for him when he's literally living in a palace while the people are barely living paycheck to paycheck with 3 jobs. even the most basic foods and produce are so expensive that its just impossible

oh and how he said women are lesser than men and all the 100 times he would just go "nuh uh!! lgbt is a nono !! not in my islam!!" (turkey doesnt even have a religion. the majority are just muslim)

literally during the elections this year which the opposing party lost by like 2 percent? the moment he won he went on tv to celebrate and the first thing this guy says is how all the opposing parties are lgbt propaganda and they will destroy our familial values!!! unbelievable!!

sorry for ranting a bit im. aug

Sister countries ❤❤❤❤

Literally this except christianity

Oh yeah also tsar changed the construction to be elected again. Won with 75%. There were 8 candidates. Like they aren't even trying to hide it anymore...

Also funny trivia one of these candidates used to shoot comedy movies with zelensky. Politics are funny. And people say trump situation is weird...

[exit-path]

Yes, I'm confirming it now, I did go to Stuyvesant High School.

hi guys, today's my brother's birthday, everyone wish him a happy birthday. anyways i really didn't have a reason to make this post, but here goes.

if you don't know what stuyvesant high school is, that's fine, you don't need to. if you do know what it is, then great, you'll know how prestigious it is. i already hinted at this in my aug 2022 post, but here's an official confirmation.

and i'm surprised no one realized sooner. the path traced out in this post perfectly lines up with the area around the school. and the photos in this post were literally taken from inside the school.

one thing i valued really highly was my ability to balance both my school life and my tumblr blog (i'm surprised i managed to do so in hindsight). the 2020 pandemic definitely made it easier, as my 10th and 11th grade years were now spent in front of a screen where i could be online all day.

i graduated as a pretty average student academically, although the one thing i regret is not utilizing the available resources as well as i could've.

the reason i had a public meltdown on tumblr in jun 2022 is because i was scared to make much the same post you're reading right now. i was going to college and couldn't stay active online for much longer, and i wanted to do a face reveal and quit tumblr for good (the quote "you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain" greatly informed my actions during this time).

but many months have passed since then, i've been allowed time to reflect, and i realized that– i'm not a two-dimensional character. i don't die at the peak of my fame. i'm still alive.

i still hold the value of an education in high regard, though that may sound cheap coming from someone who poured hours a day into an online fandom. it's just... my story is one you can learn from, not one to be replicated. stay in school.

will i be returning to using this blog regularly? probably not. i realize there's nothing here for me to have fun doing anymore, and mineblr is a shadow of its former glory—no matter now much i wish for it to be otherwise.

maybe i'll reconsider when deltarune ch. 3 comes out. or if minecraft has a second renaissance. or if the GD community takes off here, or better yet, if update 2.2 comes out. or if the walten files ep. 4 comes out. could you imagine that?

anyways, i'll leave you with a few additional fun facts you might not have known:

the minecraft server from this reblog (OP is sketiana) and elaborated on in these posts was actually the Stuyvesant Minecraft Coalition server

i appeared on my school website's home page one time, wearing my halloween costume.

if you ever visit the school, you can find a poster i made on the 4th floor (on the wall behind the escalator). it has my sideblog sona on it

one final request, please don't use my real name or do anything with my real face. also, please don't try anything that could jeopardize my real-life location. i know i'm operating on an honor system here, but i genuinely mean it. everything i willingly shared was because it was a story too important to pass up.

i hope i've tied up all loose ends. thank you, and i'll catch you on the flipside.

[alarrytale]

Hello, I recently started reading your thoughts on your blog and i agree with most of them. I have been in the fandom for 3 years now and have believed that he ain't a father to F for the same no of years. for the first year, i was waiting in hopes that this could end, I was more optimism and thought that the change that happened post aug 2021 was leading somewhere to it's ending. but now in sept 2023, I feel like..... I mean this shit, is it ever even ending? I feel so tired for them. I get so upset when I think about it. at this point I don't care about Larry, if they have broken up or still together (I believe they are together but even if they are not and have mutually broken up, it's okay for me. I am not waiting for the told you so moment, even though I would love to support them when they come out if they want to) but I just want bbg to end. I just want Louis as an artist to be out of the constraints, to be his own person and to not be blacklisted (??? ; because I read somewhere about it and it hurts me so much to think about how cruel this world is, some people get so much for mediocrity and some don't even get a fair chance). anyway, its just that bbg and Louis career sabotage have affected me so much. I know I need to take a major step back to focus on my life and to avoid anymore parasocial relationships. but... idk, do you think that BBG is ever going to end? it's not a sustainable lie but post aug 2021, it seems like Louis is trying to be that father image in the fandom. it would suck if it doesn't end. jabduendidkif. I don't want this year's Christmas to also be like the earlier ones. Free the baby as well. he doesn't deserve it.

Hi, anon!

Yes, bg is going to end! The main reason for that is that it's fake and that Louis doesn't want it. Bg ending is on the top of my wishlist. But i don't think it's good for us to make it a focal point or obsess over it. We will keep looking for signs that it's ending and just be disappointed when it's not. Time moves slowly that way too. Just try to forget it and go for muted optimism. The day it finally ends take the day off work and go home and cry tears of relief and joy, and celebrate (that's my plan anyways).

We as fans can't influence this in any way, and we need to accept it. I want Louis to be free too, but the music business isn't fair. The ones with the most money, most connections, best at horsetrading and the ones with the best standing will win. It isn't about talent or quality, not even popularity. Award shows is just politics. It's an ugly business alltogether. And even if both Louis and Harry were free, they still would have to deal with the politics of the business. That's just how it is.

Bg isn't over until it's over, and we have to prepare for more shenanigans unfortunatly. But when it happenes just ignore it. You've been through it before and it's is expected. It's predictable. Try to distance yourself from it. It's a marathon not a sprint, so don't drain yourself emotionally over it. You come first, and take breaks if neccessary. Vent to someone about it. Call them out on their lies. Refuse to be gaslighted. But if it's too draining, remove yourself from it. Your're going to be fine! 🩵

[dojae-huh]

JN and JW hinting they are starting to record for 127 cb album. The keyword is "starting" we may not know when it'll release it could be next year. DJJ start recording for mini album since Jan 2022 its means the plans had been cooked since 2021. DJJ is still busy with fansigns and if the fancon is a tour we might get another date at least until July. TY solo is on June 5th. Dream tours is still going until July 11th (if theres no additional show). If nct2023 will be release on Aug then Dream cb is on Sept (SM said they both in Q3). On the other hand, today timeline has been talking bout TI bbl, he said about sleeping for hours and feel hopeless. I dont know exactly what he refered it could be anything, but I bet its about lack of solo activity and his e-date is due. Or it could be about his songs got rejected by SM. SM has a plan for whole year, its only on Q2 yet already messed up (aespa and Taeyeon cb should be on April). Seems like he cant fit anything on the masterplan and he frustated. I pity him really, but SM is SM, they are business oriented company. He must be working on something profitable if making music doesnt give him a place in company. I wish he has a bit of DY/TY confidence in building his own idol self, doing something to gain attention from gp, networking with people in industries, creating his own portofolio on sns, etc.

I'd prefer to wait more but get a good result out of it.

Granted, we, fans, lost fate in SM after the mess of the last year, however, the delays were always a problem, meanwhile SM does have a record of performing well (2018 run, NCT2020 run). DJJ's debut and aespa's comeback show improvements in quality of preparations. As such, I wouldn't catastrophize. It's in SM's interest to give 127 an album this year. Album sales and new songs for a new tour bring money, not delays. It's not like 127 is an unprofitable group or a group from a small company that has no funds for a new comeback.

I think what's important to realise is that the fear of 127 disbanding is not valid anymore.

Taeil's bubble.

Fans in quirts "read the future". They put words in Taeil's mouth, they don't know what he feels really, what he meant to convey with his bubble. Who wouldn't want to have a long sleep? People dream of having lots of money and not needing to work. And here is Taeil, with money, and not needing to wake up 3 a.m.

Taeyong did a promotion today in a theme park for the Rose day. He said he always wanted to do something on this day, and here he is, giving out 605 roses on the street. The company heard his wish and arranged the flowers and the event. Is this mistreatment? If Doyoung and Taeyong get budget for their covers and dance numbers for a YT channel, then why it is expected that Taeil would be treated differently? Being the best vocal in the group? Why SM can give him two solo numbers for Link+ and center a cooking show for YT content around him, but "acts evil" otherwise?

We don't know what is the deal with Taeil. Is it the problem of scheduling and him needing to enlist soon, or maybe it's a problem of him being a less popular member and SM starting the solo releases with more popular members for a better publicity, or maybe he is stuck with the creative side of things/SM not finding him a worthy A-track yet. He will get his solo album sooner or later. Everyone does now, so there is no worry about that.

You wish Taeil to be like Taeyong or Doyoung. Will it make him happier? Why the fans refuse idols like him (homebodies who instead of wandering the streets of a new city spend hours playing pool or who cook meat in 20 ways) to exist and just be? He has respect from people around him, he is friends with renowned producers, he has security in his job, he travels the world, he has money for a private pilates instructor, he has time to play piano and guitar and learn how to compose, he has freedom of doing lives where he sings for hours for millions of people tuning in if he wishes so... and if he sounds or looks unhappy or frustrated sometimes it is because noone is always happy, it's simply impossible, our human programming doesn't allow it.

Anyways. Let's stop thinking for idols and pity those who made it to the top of idol career.

[squashwurmz]

ent. 1

today is tuesday, aug 20, 2024. not sure why i formatted like that buuut anyways!

i had an okay day. nothing really special. my first period is always fun and my second period i TA, so it's not like i do anything there in the first place.

ooh, i also spent all day listening to music. this months song is seasons in the sun, which makes me kinda sad. im pretty sure its from the perspective of a man reminiscing life on his death bed, i think. when i hear it, i think of someone who wants to commit but finds it hard to. they take notice of all the nice things in life, like singing birds and pretty girls, but still know that they're going to do it anyways. i really like the lines "goodbye my friend, its hard to die" and "goodbye papa, please pray for me"! the last lines of the song definitely are more towards an old man dying, plus the mentions of running out of time, but i feel like they can also be interpreted as someone succumbing to their mind and/or mental illness. thats just my perspective though :P i also rlly like the nirvana cover!

tbh i think why ive been listening to that song so much is just because ive been coming to terms with my own feelings towards committing. in my mind its all together with accepting the fact that im growing up and changing, and so are the people around me. i dont really allow myself to enjoy media very much anymore since i immerse myself too much, and once i come out of it, i get very depressed. ive had suicidal feelings before but my sophomore year was especially bad.

coming out of that year alive made me really think about what's making me feel this way. i dont really talk to my parents a whole lot, even though i know they try. it sounds so overdone but they don't let me express emotions easily so i kinda just shut off around them. i dont really like being around them.

i think ive grown disconnected from my friends over the years, but they'll always be my people. i doubt anything could really change that. they know more about me than anyone and i love them with my whole heart. if i stay, its most likely for them.

hey, also, ive never had a boyfriend!! i would KILL to have a cute sweet corny ass teenage romance. im a junior man, times running out!!! i dont know what im doing wrong. its like everyone got a manual on how to interact with each other and get TGOETHER BUT I DIDNT!! what the egg. this year its my mission to catch some bitches PLEASE

im taking ap studio art this year soo im making a portfolio. i only have one idea for my investigation and its.... *drumroll* growing up!! whew!! i dont have the concept really polished, but its something along the lines of coming to accept the fact that im getting older and evolving as a person, which means so are my peers and so is my environment, which is all very much out of my control. id also like to note the bonds ive made with my girls too though, since its played a big part of my life. theres genuinely nothing more in the world i couldve asked for than to grow up with my friends like i did.

ill probably have a more exacted idea as the week goes on and once i retrieve my notes from the art room. anyways i think i have a caffeine dependance now so i should figure out how to not! have that.

i think that's it for my first entry!! see u next time :3

[averys-happy-space]

mental illness 🤔

im only missing 3 fang skins which is his bpass skin (which is unfortunate bc its my absolute favourite one), that ugly ass mint recolour, & true gold cuz im poor. (i had 10k coins saved up but was peer pressured into upgrading berry & meg for ranked). i disabled the 2 pitcher skins from my randomiser cuz i lowkey think theyre kinda ugly and also just dont fit fang conceptually (i will never understand why supercell gave the guy who loves using his feet the one non football sport skin)

i only show busters leaderboard because i soloq'd fang to 997 and then lost 200 trophies without hitting r30. that was like 2 weeks ago and i still haven't regained the trophies. don't talk to me about it.

yes i have every gear on fang including garbage like vision. no i dont use it ever i just bought all of them because im Sick in the Head for him. my buster is still p10 because he doesnt have a hypercharge yet & im an egotistical bitch who likes being able to show that i got him r30 without maxing him out. i soloq'd that shit too btw. i fucking hate soloq. no clue why i keep doing it to myself. (i have no friends). tbh i told my friends i want to get my buster to top 1 in malaysia before i leave for uni in the uk but both said they arent free to grind so i dont think ill ever get that screenshot. sad but not surprised. r35 is an even further, less achievable dream 💔

my mastery on both fang & buster honestly isn't that much but my excuse is that i only unlocked buster in mid-june & fang on july 9 of this year and i went on vacation for 3 weeks in july-aug. also i edited the ss so theyre together but actually fang is my top 1 mastery and buster is 5th lol

oh yeah. guy whose name is censored in my club is my friend, i just did it for privacy reasons. the buster🩷fang acct is my mini that i never really use anymore

[olivieraa]

I've a busy few days ahead but can't start anything for another 3 so I'm wasting time by doing this for my own curiosity cause why not

so my abridged run-through with my niece continues, and I have a few opinions on the abridged series this time around

but before the opinions, I wanna figure out the timeline (not highly in depth, but partially, bc it'll still be a long post even without me going into depth).

2007-2008 - is when I believe the show started.

the channel itself was made in 2007, but ep 1 doesn't have its original date under it as it is a reupload. the reason I know is bc ep 31 says 2008, but eps 1-30 say 2009 which is obviously wrong. I do remember Konami or something kept getting LK's videos flagged.

oh and these eps during this time were uploaded weekly.

I think, and its not definite, that I may have started watching the show around the time when these eps came out:

2010 - is when I personally got into the show. there's a CHANCE it was 2009, but I'm going with 2010 for simplicity's sake.

my life during 2010. I was just finishing up school and was about to move to our 6th house. I'd just turned 18 as well. I remember joking about the abridged in school with some friends. in fact, I skipped school a lot and chilled in a friend or two's house while we watched it, and then referenced it a lot. when I turned 18, I went to my first nightclub that night and on the dance floor, Bad Romance by Gaga came on and instead of singing "love love love I want your love" I sang "tush tush tush right on my tush" bc I'd honestly forgotten what the real lyrics were. I was even poking my friends ass. she liked my lyrics better (she had no idea what it was from tho lol). but yes 2 days later I moved away and began my first of my four years of isolation. the abridged itself, anime in general, online friends and tumblr became the winning combo for the following 3-4 years of my life, from 2010 (when I moved away) to 2014.

so I was online a lot for those years. I lived in nowhere land. imagine your house smack dab in this with one neighbour, as an 18 year old

so yes, I was online a lot. I had time to be. I had time for anime.

still 2010 - the first time I can see a big gap are these eps from 2010 during the Noah arc (aka season 3 of both ygo and ygo abridged). 48 being ep 1 of the Noah arc

48 - Aug 2010

49 - Sep 2010

50 - Nov 2010

51 - Apr 2011

so the first couple of Noah's arc eps were monthly, like usual. like how I always knew then. and then there was a bit of a jump 4 eps into Noah's arc at ep 51. but here's the thing... LK filled up a lot of space around this time with side videos. from song parodies, to the evil council of doom, to con promo vids, to just fun extras. majority of which I forgot about until right now

I esp forgot about these, they defo need a rewatch

but I'll wait till my niece is back over cause she'll definitely love that first one.

2011 - I met LK twice at two different cons during when those above Noah arc eps would've been coming out at that new slower pace, so I know he was at peak busy that specific year and the episodes were hotly anticipated at the time. so he really was doing his best. uploading not monthly anymore but still releasing fun vids in between, AND going to cons. plus like, his own personal life and issues to deal with. so it was all still steady going.

online wise for me after I'd moved, I was frequenting youtube the most to talk to people (and fanfiction for alone time lol). but mid or late 2011, I joined tumblr the same time as those youtube friends, so we chatted on here the most and youtube got lost in the abyss. and so during 2011, during my new tumblr time, ep 52 and 53 came out. and yeah, ygo was what my online friends and I found the most common ground in and that included the abridged series. the ygo fandom was growing on tumblr because of the abridged.

so ep 53 was in July 2011 but then a big gap happened and episode 54 was FEB 2012

2012 - I met rp!Florence the exact next day, Feb 8th, so I'm thinking the release of this ep (LK's first ep in after a 7 month gap) inspired the decision behind making Flo? idk.

(so I now know, thanks to making this post, that when I was online in 2012 rping and shit, the Noah's arc was near ending. but also, it had completely stopped its monthly drop at this point, which I remember was annoying, y'know, rping with an abridged character who had to take more from canon!ygo than abridged!ygo bc there was so little to go on. the pro side of that tho, is that you'd get really excited when an ep did appear. more so than before. tumblr pm went like this

so that above ep (54, Feb 7th) up to episode 58 were all done in 2012. almost like an ep was dropped per weather season. and I remember this one so well because

I got a tonne of anon messages calling my Joey 'Susan' :')

so it went from weekly, to monthly, and then as of 2012, once every 4 months.

2013 comes along - and... the first episode of that year is in JULY, and the second and only other one in 2013 was September. again, this was during my constantly online rp time. so when they did drop, it really was like

2013 had just two eps. that's it.

aaaaand... it's kind of been that way ever since. so I was right in thinking it was 2013 when the eps slowed down and became the official beginning of the rarely out eps. the past 10 years now LK will release just one or two eps a year. no side videos either, no con promos (idk if he goes to cons but he defo doesn't promo them), he did a bunch of Marik Plays Bloodlines but then stopped that and it hasn't been updated in 7 years. and he officially moved onto talking about wrestling and reviewing YGO GX.

and so here's how I feel.

first of all, the Noah's arc was out way earlier than I thought it was. I know it was still going in 2012, but I thought it started in 2012, when in actuality, it was going for 2 years, since 2010. during the time I was in school! I was shocked learning that. I also consider Noah's arc to be the worst arc, but I didn't think that while watching it back in the day, just upon rewatch

watching the show now in my 30's and passing it onto my niece (she's prob too young for it but she does love the kid friendly jokes, also she thinks I'm like Kaiba and she's Mokuba) it has a heavy nostalgic feel to it ofc. like I said, it was around during very specific times in my life, when it needed to be basically, and during the past 10 years, it became the "oh hey, a new ep just dropped on youtube" show that you don't think about UNTIL an ep drops. you're not waiting for it. it just appears. and when it does you're like :))) and you pick up from where you left off bc its easy enough to do without looking back on past eps bc its... well its a parody. there's no solid "plot"

to "review" it in a sense.... ok. in 2012... I was just happy to have an episode bc like I said, they weren't monthly anymore. and there was always something funny about them. whether it was one joke or four jokes. however, I didn't notice it then, but the quality dropped significantly (but luckily picked up by the end of 2012 and did eventually get better)

so where the bad starts imo... if you watch this episode (the last episode RIGHT before the Noah's arc, an early 2010 ep), its full of classic moments

its highly quotable and its memorable. this could be due to LK's favouritism towards Marik so he puts his best jokes onto Marik like "use the celtic guardian aibouuu" to "a rhetorical WANKER" to "you tell 'em, honey!" and then the Stand By Me singing. its a v good, memorable ep.

ep 47, the first ep of Noah arc, follows it and it... just goes downhill. all of Noah's arc is quite bad, and the main problem I found while rewatching, was that the jokes were draaaaagged out. the penguin thing, the stairs thing, Tristan being a "funny guy", and lots more. it was annoying. and the additional voice actors weren't good either, with the exception of two of them sounding almost exactly like the dub voices, so I'll give them credit for that

now like I said, LK was at his busiest in 2011 (which would have been exclusively Noah's arc eps which are the worst eps), and it was straight after Noah's arc that he uploaded less frequently. and he was diagnosed with depression which probably affected him during this whole arc and so he basically knew, to give out the quality people wanted, he had to resort to taking more time for himself and uploading less. and for his health it was obviously the best decision, but even for his channel it was too.

so to repeat - end of 2012 saw the end of Noah's arc and I remember this ep dropping and everyone quoting it

and also this one like I already said

they still weren't LK's best but they were better. and the abridged was important to me in 2012 eps considering I had an abridged partner, so we were always happy to get new content.

this 2013 ep to me was the return of classic abridged

it was so good that my friend at the time changed her username to one of the quotes from the ep. and why was it so good? bc there was a 7 month gap between this ep and the last, and like I said, uploading less frequently ended up working wonders for LK. he had time to plan it well.

2014 - end of season 3 (noahs arc and battle city combine. just 3 eps that year

2015-2018 - season 4

2019&2020 - nothing

2021-2025 - season 5, ongoing.

so anyone that has seen the original YGO knows season 5 has two parts. the grand champion ship part that nobody likes (14 eps), and the Egyptian arc which finally gives Bakura the spotlight (26 eps).

he is currently still in that first part, and has prob 3 more eps left of it.

so yes, he uploaded nothing in all of 2019 and 2020, which I honestly would've thought during the pandemic it would be the change he'd needed to be able to upload more frequently. but nope, it was all this instead

he only returned then in 2021 and so far has released just 4 eps from 2021 to 2024.

that Joey one being only a couple of months ago.

so its for sure at a super slow once a year pace.

ngl, I am curious about his mindset, but this stems from my own ignorance, and I'm sure with a bit of research (and profile stalking) I could probably figure out why its so rare. but I don't care that much despite this post. like I can say - why doesn't he upload a slight bit faster (nobody is out here waiting for an ep a month, but at least 3 eps a year?). or I can think - does he still think fans from 15 years ago are gonna stick with him to the end? does he think his fans are that die hard?

but again, being ignorant - idk how youtube works. idk how creators get paid. idk if he gets paid for the eps. idk if he gets paid more (or only) for non eps (and so therefore abd eps are the last things he wants to do bc no pay). idk if this is his job or he has a day job. idk what his current health status is. idk if he's still doing the eps just to finish the show or bc he actually likes doing it. idk how he views the fact that majority of old fans are prob not around anymore. idk if he's actually online all the time, just not on youtube.

I don't know.

I quickly checked just there and he's still frequenting twitter

but also

what

there's drama in the abridged world????

I'm.................. so out of touch.

how active is the abridged fandom even. are they all gen z. are they all offended by the old jokes, I assume so tbh

I'm bewildered, don't care enough, but still curious

for another day I think........

BUT ANYWAYS. yeah, I just needed to waste time. this show was special to me at one point. never thought I'd be watching it with my 7 year old niece. she's addicted. she can't wait till bed time. this is her bed time story. Joey is her fave, so she was raised right. ...even if that's a different type of Joey it still applies.

I... think I'll be watching this show up until it ends. I'm not really a social media person. Im not subbed to many on youtube. but I never unsubbed LK so I see the eps drop randomly sometimes a year. and in another 10 years (I mean at this pace, probably) I'll most likely still be watching it. I'm generally smiling the whole time anyways

[fanilys]

My first experience purchasing jpop goods as an international fan (using CDJapan and DHL)

I already posted this on my old livejournal page last year, but I rarely use that website anymore and I'm more used to tumblr. Hopefully the people who might find these kinds of posts useful will still be able to find them here.

For some background, I became a fan of King & Prince in late 2022, but then 3 of their members announced that they would be leaving the group shortly after. It was then that I give in and decided to buy their latest CD release at the time.

[edited on Aug 11 2024 to add the advisory regarding DHL's additional fees]

Although I really wanted my own copies, I was very hesitant at first because I had never purchased physical goods internationally. Being from the Philippines, there were no options to buy them locally. I was worried about the shipping process because I was unsure of many things, like if there are other fees or customs requirements, and if it would be delivered straight to my address or if I still need to pick it up at a post office.

I saw this video which listed different websites to buy jpop goods from and gave more information about the whole buying and shipping process. It's very helpful, though it's from a few years back so I'm not sure if it's still up to date. I checked some of the sites mentioned and ultimately decided to buy from CDJapan since I had previously already heard of it and it seemed the most user-friendly.

I pre-ordered all 3 editions of the single, which also came with external bonus goods. The website had a discount code for first-time buyers which I made sure to use upon checking out. The currency the site uses is JPY, but it also displayed the amounts in my local currency, which made it easier for me.

They had a number of shipping options as well as a shipping cost calculator with other details for each method. I decided to go with DHL since it's guaranteed door-to-door delivery with full tracking. Although pricier than some other options, the shipping process was smooth and there were no extra fees. (Update: as of June 2024, they've started charging an additional fee of 430 PHP upon delivery)

Around a week before the expected release date, the order status on CDJ was already "in shipping process". Then 2 days before the release date, I received an SMS and email from DHL. I was a given a reference number and a link where I can track my package and choose to receive notifications at different steps of the shipping process. The estimated date of delivery was the next day (a day before the release date). There were also options in the link where I can change the delivery date or address, but I didn't try them.

I checked the tracking website often and there were periodic updates about where the package is and other customs-related info. The next day (the estimated delivery day) at around 10 AM, I received another SMS and email saying that the package is with a courier and will be delivered within the day. It arrived at around 5 PM. After giving my signature, I finally got it!

The discs and extra goods were all well-packaged and in good condition. The CDs and DVDs worked fine on my computer and I didn't need to install new programs to open them. I only listened to the songs using Windows Media Player and watched the videos using VLC. It's also possible to convert them to files using those programs.

Even though it costs a good amount of money, I thought this purchase was a very good first-time experience and I'm glad the process was as smooth as it could be.

After this, I bought a photo book along with more pre-order albums. The photo book came with its own box, so there was a recommendation to order them separately so the CDs can be packed more securely. But I did not want to pay for two separate packages, so I still ordered them together. I was able to get a small discount too using the points I got from my previous purchase. The package arrived a day before the expected release date again, and everything was still well packed and in good condition.

My only regret is that I didn't wait a little longer before placing the order. CDJ sometimes has promos and discount codes, so I was waiting for one before buying. But stocks for the photo book were running low, so I just decided to go ahead with the purchase. A few weeks later, I saw that they had a promo going on and that the photo books were restocked. Then again, I didn't know they would be restocked and I didn't want to risk not being able to buy it, so it is what it is! Would've been nice to get a bigger discount though.

I also had an experience ordering a CD just a few days before the release date. Unlike my previous orders, this one wasn't delivered earlier than the release date but arrived one day after, so it still wasn't bad at all.

I haven't tried any other online stores, but I'm happy with my experience with CDJ and DHL so far. The only drawbacks are that DHL can be more expensive compared to other shipping methods, and CD/album purchases on CDJ don't count towards the Japan charts as far as I know. I still use it since I like how straightforward it is, but of course it depends on what you prioritize.

[skettchybunnyanimation]

Disney is Going Downhill

October 16, 1923, marks when Disney first came into animation, being one of the first animation companies ever. Created by Walt Dinsey, the company began putting out many marvelous animations from their first-ever movie in 1937, Snow White and the Seven Drawfs, a technical marvel at the time. As the years passed, they continued to make well-rounded and meaningful movies such as Beaty and the Beast, Hunchback of Notre Dame, and more. Indeed, one of the creators of modern-day animation has pushed the limits with beautiful animation and storytelling. So, what went wrong?

It is no secret that within recent years, Disney has had many hits and misses, with the more recent being its 100th anniversary, Wish, which came out November 22, 2023, and quickly became the new laughing stock of the animation world. Clunky and not put together would be a polite way to describe the animation. They tried to emulate the style of Spider-Verse by mixing 2-D and 3-D elements but failed miserably. The story could be better, being extremely lackluster and uninteresting, with far too many characters to count or even care about. However, recently, an old storyboard was leaked from Wish, which, in the short run (about 2-3 minutes), not only showed a more compelling character and story but also more beautiful animation. So why would Disney not want to make the objectively better movie? It's because of Bob Iger.

 Bob Iger has been Disney's CEO for about ten years now. Around the same time, Disney stopped prioritizing good animation and original stories and started to prioritize sequels and live actions. Bob Iger does not care about animation. He only cares about making money which has caused Disney to take a massive hit to its credibility, from a company that used to release beautiful masterpieces to a company that isn't willing to take risks because of the possibility of losing money. 

This is terrible for the animation industry because it not only shows the rise of greed within corporate America but also makes animators question if their jobs are safe and if people care about animation anymore. This growing issue is becoming increasingly apparent. As animators and creatives, we must find a way to restore the power to the hands of people who care about this art form.

Work Cited

Culture, Shannon Power Pop, and Entertainment Reporter. “Why Disney Can’t Make Hits like It Used To.” Newsweek, 12 Aug. 2023, www.newsweek.com/disney-box-office-flop-indiana-jones-1819147#:~:text=The%20reasons%20behind%20Disney.

Masters, Kim. “Unpacking Bob Iger’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good PR Week.” The Hollywood Reporter, 25 July 2023, www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/business-news/unpacking-bob-igers-bad-pr-week-1235544279/.

[crescendeyes]

I am grateful for

As we enter the month of July-Aug, I felt like I should really analyse what I am thankful for and count my blessings a little.

I know being critical of yourself is embedded in our DNA to humble ourselves from delusion. There is a beauty in delusion - its either things are SUPER DUPER BAD or FINE AND DANDY.

Being extremely fearful avoidant, I find myself constantly confusing people and myself on the decisions that I make. It is a constant push and pull that I struggle with all my life with a lack of awareness of it's existence.

People with a fearful-avoidant attachment style distrust others and withdraw from relationships in order to avoid rejection. This leads people with a fearful-avoidant attachment to avoid the very relationships they crave.

Struggling to manage this part of my life, I managed to fall into the traps of despair every time I make a decision. They were either too reckless or too careful - never anything in between.

So, in order to re-evaluate the quarter of my life, before I turn 30, I won't be a list of things I want to achieve. Instead, I want to count my blessings and start showing gratitude to myself and my life, including the people who made it possible for these little celebrations.

Set boundaries and realise what my dealbreakers are in a relationship.

Let me explain - in the past, I would fight for a relationship and continue to work on it till there was nothing left behind except resentment. MAYBE, just MAYBE, if Aaron and I didn't breakup the first time around and I didn't have to grow up after the string of bad luck in 2022, I could tolerate and continue to work on relationships like I used to. So, being able to set boundaries and be honest with myself what I want to keep vs don't was the biggest step I took to self love and actualisation.

2. Love someone twice

Some might find this very toxic but if you never try, you'll never know. Hence, no. 1.

3. Performed for a huge festival in the second time of my life

Yes, I performed at Peakstorm Festival to open for Joji. While it may not seem like a feat for most musicians and artist, but it was once in a life time opportunity that I will forever be grateful for.

4. Moved out

I finally did it. There is no way I can describe how lucky I feel to get a place that I only dreamt of getting back in 2020 - and it took 3 years to rent this place. Although, rent is expensive and I am looking for opportunities to move to a new place that would be more affordable. 2024 is a time I wanna focus on growing my wealth and saving money.

5. Travelling with Aaron, meeting each others family, a sense of stability....

It is difficult for me to find stability cause I've never known it all my life. But even for that short period of time, visiting his family and travelling to Taiwan & Phuket, I felt like this is it. He is my forever, and his family and friends LOVE me. Unfortunately, no. 1 was the path I decided to take.

6. Dad

Dad is better now and we are planning to travel to Copenhagen and London together as a family.

7. Mum

Mum is open to the idea of counselling and started to see a therapist after hearing me out. In a way, I'm lucky she was even open to it for assistance. I love her.

8. Miso

Miso was with me since 6 June 2023, she has lived with me for 17 days and she will forever be the best emotional support kitty in my life. I have never had a cat with me before so it was an amazing experience. I will miss her so so dearly <3

9. Fixed my relationship with Cel & Cam

10. I'm travelling again

11. I am not chasing relationships anymore

12. I am in a good stable career

13. I have a manager that trust me and doesn't micro manage me - plus, he kinda has a thing for me or something idk.

14. I got a new tattoo this year so yay

15. Aaron is making tiktok videos of me while I am seemingly unbothered by it

16. I now know Hoeden is not my real friends.

17. I am learning how to swim.

18. I attended Harpreet & Nicole's wedding this year.

19. I ACTUALLY became friends with Aaron Chan? Wow. lol. The universe is weird.

20. I have great friends and made more this year.

21. People LOVE my apartment and they often compliment it hehe

22. Renewed my insurance policy because I can afford it bitches.

So there will be more blessings and I can't count but I always do my best to remember them whole heartedly.

If you read it this far, thank you. I hope this brings you peace.

[insertcoolermonikerhere]

i know u do its cos u dont have any other friends but its okay i love you despiste ur flaws :3/j

jan - dirty little secret (all american reject). UHH what secrets.. anyway considering im spending most of this month stuck in a tent with my immediate family this is actually pretty fitting. then again it IS about a secret PARTNER specifically so?? do i finally fess up question mark

feb - holiday (green day). huh i hope so after JANUARY but the lyrics are a bit. idk should i be worried? probably itll be my first month of graduation classes and im going to be. SO busy it wont even be funny anymore maybe my life will go up in flames again who knows!

mar - 1985 (bowling for soup). hung up on the past much? wonderful

apr - dance, dance (fall out boy). honestly this song means. literally nothing to me but it does remind me SO much of panic! at the disco. maybe i wont be acting like myself?? what

may - scotty doesn't know (lustra). WHOS PARTNER AM I STEALING??? what the fuck

jun - closer (nine inch nails). intense thematically important sex for the entirity of the month of june? why not

jul - american idiot (green day). these guys again. i'm not american but i am DEFINITELY an idiot (and a faggot). is this my raging against the machine month

aug - lonely boy (the black keys). i really like this song actually. the title is a little foreboding? but the lyrics aren't half bad. maybe if i do get that relationship sorted something goes wrong. with the person im thinking of.. yeah the lyrics fit pretty well. shrug emoji

sep - pressure (muse). well. september is usually when cramming at school kicks off so maybe it's not too far off? exams in sep/oct/nov so who knows

oct - where do i sign? (the weathers). interesting. that's all i have to say. (opening lines: i wanna make a deal with the devil so i get, get what ia want / i wanna airplane pipe dream fuck all of my friends)

nov - hellboy (SWMRS). errrrr some of these songs. are. interesting. wondering if im going to starting self isolating again next year. lol. (opening lines: charlie manson's alright, it ain't no worse than all the violence you say jesus liked / at least old charlie took the blame for all the violence we committed in his name)

dec - break stuff (limp bizkit). YEAH IM WORRIED ABOUT THE LAST HALF OF NEXT YEAR. anyway

@shoechinshin the only eerson i can tag PLEASE

i wanna start a tag game so: let your spotify predict your 2024!

shuffle your on repeat playlist, and the first twelve songs represent your 2024

january- guns and ships- hamilton (idek what this could represent but okay)

february- we fell in love in october- girl in red (PLEASE)

march- say no to this- hamilton (…i have nothing to say about this)

april- castles crumbling- taylor swift ft hayley williams (damnit sad month then?)

may- you’re losing me- taylor swift (FUCK TWO SAD MONTHS?? breakup songs are even worse now that im actually in a relationship. please. better not be accurate)

june- astronomy- conan gray (please stop why am i having so many sad songs)

july- stoned- ed sheeran (oh fuck this)

august- new year’s day- taylor swift (hm okay. idk what to say about this)

september- heather- conan gray (i consider heather to be a happy song AND it’s mine and my partners song so i’m taking this as a good one)

october- 18- one direction (yessss we’re going okay now)

november- king of my heart- taylor swift (YESSS)

december- all too well (ten minute version)- taylor swift (i take it back ugh)

no pressure tags!!- @autumnleavesforwinter @weeping-in-the-willows @swiftieannah @felizusnavidad @jittyjames @anixknowsnothin (please help me get this off the ground, but also if this flops you saw nothing)