#its normal for your parents (mostly your mother) to decide that you dont need a birthday celebration anymore

[knight-engale]

stuck in my head thinking about my parents

[angel-eyes05]

to leave the warmest bed i've ever known

pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara 

summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office

warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death

word count:  4.1k

notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)

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The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun.

You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.

Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.

Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.

You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere.

When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late. 

How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward.

Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange.

The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.

The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens.

Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.

That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off.

“That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.

“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected.

“You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.

The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened.

“You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned.

“Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”

Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive.

He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!”

He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.

“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.”

You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.”

He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end. 

“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself.

Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.

First though, you had to find Gwen.

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a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao

NEXT CHAPTER

[sunsents]

Content 2/2 - F.W (M)

Empty Chapter II

IT'S. OVER. Holy shit, this took way longer than I expected it to be. Yes, it’s 20k mf words and what abt it. Don’t look at me like that. I warned ya’ll 🙄. Now, I definitely made up some words while writing this. Like a shelved corridor, the heck is a shelved corridor?!?! Please tell me it makes sense…please for the sake of my sanity. The smut is kinda tame so I’ll whip out the chains on the next one.

CROSS POSTED TO WATTPAD HERE

Summary —> Years later you find yourself face to face with the person that caused your ruin - yet this time, somethings different.

Pairing: fredweasley x fem!reader

Word count: 20k... honestly I completely get it if ya'll wanna sit this one out

Warnings: *deep breath* a poor attempt at humor / gingers / pining idiots / normal idiots / excessive cursing / fred weasley in slacks / alcohol consuming / very little angst (its mostly just overthinking) to fluff / minor character death / smut / oral, (fem) / fingering / cum play / sexual mf intercourse mfs / protected sex (dont be silly protect your willy) / dirty talk / sappy stuff

Rating: 18+

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

tagged: @opalsheart @ronsbadidea @uselessmoonlight @boxofbadaddiction @lovenonymously @sergeantkilowog @rudypankowisdaddy, @nobutfredweasleytho some names didn’t come up when I tried, so what do we get from this? I can't properly use Tumblr <3

Five Years Later, 2003

"____, will you just calm down." Aleyna lets go of the book box full of bathroom supplies and they clink together, to which you wince because these are your stuff and you’re in a far too dangerous position to lose more money.

"How can I calm down?!" you exclaim dramatically, tossing your wand on the nylon wrapped couch. "It's all Stacey's fault."

Aleyna quirks a brow, "Whose Stacey?"

"That one chick from Magical Catastrophes who always has lipstick on her teeth."

"I don't think her name is Stacey though."

You send Aleyna a look that screams, stop being reasonable at a time like this. No, this was when you overpaid your TV cable to air The Twilight Zone and drank cheap wine while cursing out your boss who cared about your well being. Hermione had become The Minister of Magic, and of course you were proud of her. Though, this didn't mean she could let you have time off work whenever something insignificant happened.

"Probably not," you mutter, opening your fridge and coming face to face with the painful truth that it’s empty, and you’re hungry. Your hand unintentionally flies to graze over your scar as you survey your options, a small pack of ketchup and left over chips. "Suits her though, feels good to say 'Goddamnit Stacey' when something goes wrong in my life."

Stacey deserves it because Stacey doesn’t refill the staplers on purpose.

Aleyna snorts, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. "What did Stacey ever do to you?" Then she wheels across your new apartment to retrieve more boxes from outside.

You’re grateful for the support of all your friends, but the pitying looks they give you whenever someone mentions the words house and fire is enough to fuel into your secret want of setting their houses on fire. It was an accident, you were just trying to make the delicious recipe Molly had sent you, ignoring the small fact that you didn't know how to properly use an oven. The savings you lost from your bleeding bank account were not worth pasta with tomato sauce on it.

Though, your new apartment is big, bigger than your first because after making a name for yourself as an Auror money came easily. Wide walls for a projector TV, long tail shaped couch standing firm on varnished wood floorings, and two bedrooms that have their own - kind of unnecessary - bathrooms. Not to mention the giant kitchen with an island, only rich people had islands, where you could make plenty of Italian recipes and not worry about burning the house down because Aleyna fool-proofed it for you.

The flat was at the top floor of the new bar she just built, and she was kind enough to let you start renting the place. The residents of Diagon Alley had been fighting for this apartment for months, and you were proud to have snagged it before anyone could even offer.

Gripping the last two boxes, Aleyna pushes the front door with her foot and navigates herself backwards through the other dozen boxes you had just tossed on the floor. "These are the last two, are you sure you don't need anymore help?" she offers.

You shake your head, "I can just use magic, not in the mood for pursuing the muggle lifestyle right now."

Aleyna frowns, this reaches her eyes though. "That bad huh."

Simply nodding, you don’t bother getting into an in depth rant about how a simple fire didn't mean you had trauma, and that you didn't need to stop working for a few weeks. Not that being an Auror was hard, your work days have been quite uneventful if you didn't count a few "Revalutioners" sticking a muggle's head in a toilet.

"I know what will cheer you up," Aleyna chimes, already clad in her pea coat and sneakers. "Dinner, and it's on me."

You couldn't possibly say no to free dinner, also making food for yourself was probably not a good idea right now. Stay clear of ovens, you reminded yourself.

After getting snug in your coat and fluffing your hair, you fall on step next to Aleyna as the two of you chat.

The London cold is brutal, shivering whomever until their noses turn red and making their hands feel itchy when sudden warmth overtook. You’re used to it, as is anyone in Diagon Alley. People are crowding the stores, chatting loudly and waving their wands around at stores to reserve whatever crappy gifts they were going to buy for their family's.

You hate the holidays, refusing to go back to America and visit your own family. Your mother couldn't cook, nor could your father. Though, that didn't stop her from insisting every year and giving you, your father and the Burke's food poisoning.

After three years of sitting through awkward family dinners where everyone ignored the fact that you were almost Head of Aurors, and focused on Eva's collapsing career of Healer only to praise her, you had about enough and stopped attending. It had been two years since then, they didn't bother to write. Your dad occasionally sent you money in a horrible christmas card with an even more horrible pun written in red glittery letters that also sang Run Run Rudolph.

"Ugh, everyone's crowding the joke shop aga- oh." Aleyna pauses. "I'm sorry."

She knows about your past with Fred Weasley, considering whenever you rant about work it ends up with you cursing him and Eva out. He had such a blame-able face, just like Stacey from Magical Catastrophes.

You give Aleyna a look. "You act like I'm not a grown woman who can't get over something that happened eight years ago." you say, shaking off the small snow particles that begin to lightly fall. "You should be like this with, I don't know...my relationship with Theo! We broke up last year, why aren't you fragile with him, hmmm?"

Aleyna claps your back in a friendly manner all the same. "I know I know, but come on. This is childhood trauma we're talking about."

"Now that I think about it, seeing Eva's coochie was traumatic." you grin, and Aleyna's jaw gape even if she heard the story hundreds of times before. Not that Eva's...modesty was bad per say, just not a pleasant sight seeing as you guys grew up together.

Other than that fact, you hadn't talked, even seen Fred after the war ended. Sure, you occasionally stole glances at their very successful joke shop, but there was no point in dwelling and trying to fix an already withered away friendship.

You had fixed your relationship with Ron and Harry, having had no choice since the three of you worked together. "You were right ____, we were assholes. You don't need to apologize." they had told you, and that was that. The two families and well, you did weekly dinners and enduring the two men for Ginny and Hermione got easier as days passed, finally ending up in a good friendship like old times. It was casual between you, easy when no one mentioned how abruptly your friendship ended. No one dared to either.

Also, Harry was your boss and him remembering that you called him a drama queen wouldn’t do you any good in your career.

People bump at your sides as the two of you squeeze your way towards Sacree Fleur. The end of Voldemort brought a new, reformative era in the Wizarding World. Diagon Alley expanded, new buildings were built and culture grew. You were happy to see that Ollivendar's Wand shop renewed, along with other crumbling buildings that needed desperate attention.

Bandits lessened, and the utter arrogance some parents had by not sending their children to get magical education faded, partly because there was nothing to fear, and partly because more job opportunities arose, like said, money came easily.

Fleur Weasley, your good friend and someone who had done the impossible and won over a Weasley brother - though she was gorgeous and possibly the sweetest person you've ever met, so really they were perfect for each other - had decided on a whim to open a french restaurant. Bill couldn't say no to his wife, the rough man you had met years prior was softened with age and the struggle of raising children.

Good wine, deliciously soft steak that melts in your mouth and warm atmosphere that makes five o-clock feel like midnight. It’s by far your favorite restaurant and you'd much rather spend your Christmas Eve curled up next to a warm candlelit dinner on a terrace.

"Bonjour!" an obscenely attractive woman, Fleur greets the two of you when the revolving glass doors are pushed, and you break out in a wide smile seeing your friend at the door. "____, Aleyna! Come here, give me a big hug!"

"Fleur! What are you doing here?"

With dopey smiles, the three of you embrace.The door closes on it's own, and you shiver unintentionally, just now realizing how cold it is. Usually the big marble fireplace keeps Sacree Fleur warm, but even that seemed not enough and the restaurant is adorned with small muggle heaters, floating up above the ceiling and adding to the red light of the candles.

"You'll see. Came at a most amazing time too, silly girl always knowing when to show. Saw all the juicy drama when you were younger..." Fleur continues to joke lightheartedly, pulling away and leading the two of you through occupied tables as she faux scolds. People are content, it feels warm and almost soft. Conversation seems to flow easily and the unease you feel for the Holiday melts. Almost.

You blech whenever someone brings up the line ‘love is in the air’. It never made sense to you, because love was simply a fairy tale that would wither away with time. Also, how could love simply float? Of course, unless you count Amortentia fumes - which yours always smelled like sweat and crushed hopes. So frankly, you prefer expensive Dior perfume in the air rather than love.

Though now you find yourself doubting whatever you engraved in that well protected head of yours, love is truly in the air at Sacree Fleur. All kinds of love, mothers lovingly wiping food off their children's mouths, happy newlyweds clinking their wine glasses together with nothing but adoration in their eyes, friends enjoying sharing a simple dinner far more than should be done.

"My family, they're upstairs having dinner. The kids like the ice cream here, Mr Fortescue provides it well."

"Family? Ginny and Hermione are here?" you ask, lazily climbing the steps to the second floor to reveal the more, private part of the restaurant. Now, instead of wooden chairs with red cushions attached at the middle, there stand long booths with comfortable blankets and pillows with empty, eerily clean tables - except one.

The long table near the terrace is much livelier today, people sitting there whom you consider your own family. The three post luster that hangs low from the ceiling is turned on - it’s the first time you’ve seen the glamorous glass orbs in action. Its light ricochets off of several bright orange heads, simply calling it a lamp does no justice. The hue is yellow, low and it reminds you of the Christmas Eve fantasy you planned.

Said orange heads turn at the noise of delight you let out. "Oh Fleur! This is gorge- oof-"

"Auntie ____!"

A pool of orange locks squish into your stomach, snug in the soft fabric of your coat and you let out a chuckle. You can’t help it, even if you would never admit, he’s your favorite by a small number that-

"Well well, if it isn't Teddy Lupin."

The small boy chuckles, hair matching your black coat like a chameleon sticking itself on a flower and absorbing the color of the petals. You ruffle Ted's hair as the orange fades, he’s delighted to see you, and so are you yet your attention is quickly cut off by several disembodied voices thrown your way.

Bill Weasley is standing up, wine glass on one hand while grinning wide. “Look who my dear wife brought in!” his tidy yet visible scar stretches when his face brightens, you remembered again that day, just how much love you have around you.

“Hey everyone, hope we’re not interrupting.” you apologize, wincing but Bill quickly shakes his head and pushes his chair back.

You waddle your way towards the marble table, Teddy following suit with his face still smushed in your coat. He grips you tighter and you have to peel his small little limbs off your legs.

Aleyna scoffs, arms crossing together as she surveys Ted. “The blatant favoritism!”

Teddy rushes on his little legs to jump in Aleyna’s arms, and only then are you able to acknowledge the other - a little less important - people in the room.

“Happy holidays!” echoes around your head as several people embrace you all at once, and you have to simply stand and awkwardly loop your arm around whoever you can get a hold of.

Once the formalities are over, Ginny throws her arm around your shoulder. The red tresses of her dress hike up her leg from her slightly bigger stomach, and you can see the small broom tattoo on her thigh that she loves to display like a trophy. “You should’ve told us you were coming! We would have saved you a seat.”

A round of yes’s resonate around the room, and you take a quick moment to scan who’s afternoon dinner you’ve just interrupted. Hermione, hand resting on her very pregnant belly, is smiling warmly at you, and Ron quickly shoots up from his seat and wipes his mouth to catch up to his wife. Harry follows in his friend's wake, his hair has a white streak at the front and you furrow your brows.

“Age catching up with you Potter?” you grin, rubbing Ginny’s back fondly before she separates from you and greets Aleyna. “Or is it the pregnancy?”

Harry scoffs, pulling you in his embrace for a quick friendly second. “Always the charmer ____. I’ll have you know I’m handling it wonderfully, right Gin’?”

Ginny pauses, “Erm, yeah…”

Harry’s face feigns faux disbelief, and it quickly melts as you bombard the man with questions about how Ginny’s first trimester is going. You mentally take note of asking Ron about Hermione’s as well, your two best friends are fucking pregnant. It’s almost too happy, and slowly the anxiety creeping up from your spine wraps around your throat, ready to suffocate you whenever.

It was always like this, the past ready to make it’s deathly move, because nothing is perfect. Happiness doesn’t come this easily.

And you’re right, because not only a minute after the warm embraces of your friends comes the voice of the person you’ve been dreading to see.

“____?”

And then, you’re suffocating.

He’s a man. Of that you’re sure, because now his muscles stretch well over his broad shoulders, maroon satin shirt loose on his frame, tight around his biceps - properly sculpted of course - portraying defined collarbones.

His eyes are somewhat duller, though the same glimmer of loveable mischief he always had is evident. It will never go away, even after all these years, yet it’s tamer. That mischief caused him quite the trouble back in school, and now it seems he knows when to act, when to speak and when to stay silent.

His silhouette catches you off guard, his features are sharper, much sharper than how much Harry has matured. His biceps bulge obscenely when he rests his - also generously sized you might add - hand on the table, and the table suddenly doesn’t seem that long.

His forearms, on display with his sleeves rolled up, glistens under the soft lighting of the balcony. Your eyes fall on his bracelet adorned right wrist, one of which in particular catching your attention.

He’s still wearing the bracelet you gave him.

His face, always glowing, wears a large expression displaying his set of perfect teeth. He’s awestruck, you think.

You watch him push his large body out of the small chair, and wow chest, is your only thought. Then further down and...god damn thighs. Burly thighs - probably very comfortable too - squeezed in black tight fit jeans, however he managed that you don’t know but it was nice to imagine.

He’s leaned back, casual as he strolls towards you in two large steps, his long sculpted legs never disappointing.

Fred Weasley is genetically designed to ruin you and your insides with just one look, and you’re ashamed to have realized it all too late because when he speaks again you swear you saw stars.

“Wow - you,” he breaths, walking towards you with slow, unsure steps. “Grew!”

You raise a brow, Aleyna snorts. Grew? His steps should be unsure, because you want him to take them back, sit his fine fit ass back on that chair and pretend he never saw you.

Because this wasn’t your plan for tonight, seeing him wasn’t in your checklist. You woke up today, thinking nothing but coffee and a stressful moving day ahead. Not of the boy - the man you’ve been in love with since childhood, the man you blamed for your problems as an excuse to hide the heart squeezing pain of loneliness, the man you hadn’t seen in so many years you forgot what his voice sounded like.

You could have never guessed, and now you want to go back. Somehow rewind the clock to this morning when you were safe of your tucked away feelings trying to bulge, safe in your own little circle. All your efforts of leaving your house just a little early so you wouldn’t run into Fred seems stupid now. Your strategy ran smoothly for five years, it could’ve ran for more.

You would have continued avoiding him like your life depended on it, and his stupid joke shop, and the way he stupidly looked at you everytime he saw you. You’re reminded again, because no matter how older he looks he’s still Fred, and he still looks at you the same.

“I mean - beautifully! Shit I - fuck.” he groans, and George claps his brother on the back with a chuckle. Wherever he came from, because you were so entranced by Fred that you didn’t see George standing tall next to his family.

“____.” George stops before you, hands in his pockets. it happens too quickly that you’re forced out of your panicked state.

You raise a brow, and only then - Fred’s out of view with George’s figure towering over you - are you able to find your voice. “George.”

He pulls you in his tight embrace, “How come you never visited!” he scolds, chest stretching back to bring you with. “You’d think she’d bloody say hello once in a while! Maybe drop by our shop after 5 years, you quack!”

“George - can’t,” you heave and your legs wobble when he sets you on the ground again. You clear your throat, grinning widely at your...friend?

It would be fair to call him an acquaintance, right? You don’t know where you stand with the twins but you have love for them. This is clear from the way you can’t stop smiling like a sappy idiot - or perhaps it’s because of how contagious George’s smile is. You thought they hated you, but the youngest looks anything but displeased. He gives you a squeeze again before throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“I thought - I dunno. I thought you guys didn’t wanna see me.”

George scoffs, “Because you told us off that one time in seventh year?” he laughs, arms folding and displaying a set of bulging biceps much like Fred’s. “Yeah mate, you’re not that intimi-“

“George Weasley, finish that sentence I dare you!”

His eyes grow wide. “Sorry Ma’am.”

Someone clears their throat.

It’s Frederick Weasley, probably here to beat you to death.

“Hey Fred.” you greet, mouth dry. Get a grip, you scold yourself.

Fred opens his arms, “Well well,” he laughs, pulling you into a hug with a polite smile. His cheeks tint red when you shuffle closer, you would have missed this but you’re a creep, and you can’t stop staring at the beautiful man before you. He displays his beautifully indented smile lines, as if he was saying look at me! I’m perfect and sexy, I also broke your heart that one time, too bad I had no idea!

And it’s true, Fred never knew about your feelings. You kept them well hidden and they ate away at your organs from the inside, there was no reason to blame him. The realization is probably what compels you to accept him with open arms and wrap them around his neck.

You feel him shiver, dismissing it quickly because of the cold.

He smells good. Way too good that you melt in his arms and let him engulf you in his dangerous warmth. Manly, musky cologne, mixing with hints of cigar smoke that lingers on only certain areas of his shirt. You recognize the scotch in his breath when he whispers how much he had missed you, and his nape still has that cinnamon deliciousness he would parade whenever he came out of the shower, you fought the urge to shiver yourself, and it’s not because of the cold either.

It’s dizzying, and before you can start a detailed essay about how good his muscles feel, firm and digging into all the right places, he pulls away.

The past hits you like a ton of fucking bricks and crumbles down the firm foundations of the walls you have been building for eight years. You feel guilty, have you learned nothing? The loud pounding of your heart is a warning, yelling at you to stop getting swept away. Yet you can’t control it, just like how you can never control your feelings.

“I missed you guys too.” you breath shakily, you have to make sure to keep your distance. For your own good, you tell yourself.

Teddy pulls away your attention, and you silently add buy Teddy an expensively dumb toy to your checklist.

He sticks to your leg and is adamant on staying there. “I grew taller.” he says, looking at you between his eyelashes. “He says I didn’t, but I know I did!”

You chuckle, ignoring how Fred looks at the boy with such a warm expression, ignoring the way your heart nearly catapults out your chest.

“Well, stand straight soldier!” you demand.

Ted immediately lets go of your leg and straightens, hand going to his forehead to salute you. A giggle escapes him when you bend on your knees and act like you have a measuring stick on your hand. “Oh yes yes, seven feet tall and growing.” voice mock deep, you nod sternly.

“By this rate - I’ll pass you! Hah!” Teddy stomps his little foot on the stone floor, little sneakers barely making a sound.

You stand up again and fold your arms, “Well, I grow too you know! You can never pass me.” smirking slyly, you egg him on to see how much he’ll endure before he demands a ride on your shoulders - because that’s how giants saw the earth he told you. You doubt giants compare to a twenty four year old woman with attachment issues

Ted stands on his toes, struggling to tug on your shirt and bring you down. “No, I don’t like this game anymore…”

“Alright alright.” and with that you pick him up and prop the little boy on your shoulders.

Ted happily kicks his feet on your chest and you groan. He’s supposed to be five, not a midget wrestler. “Easy buddy boy.”

“You’re amazing with him, little twerp barely lets me tie his shoes.”

Fred’s voice startles you, only now do you realize that he had been watching you and Teddy. Speaking of, Ted’s busying himself with your hair, small hands pulling and twisting locks and mumbling incoherently.

Ear tips slowly catching fire, you chuckle. “Buy him a broom at four and see how he handles it.”

Fred shakes his head, tongue poking at the side of his cheek and you remind yourself to breathe. “You spoil him then? They say the way to a five year old's heart is money.”

“Damn, I’ll drink to that.”

Nuff words said, everyone soon sits on their designated chairs, and you pull one from another table, being the uninvited one.

Aleyna isn’t slick, you knew she had something up her sleeve the moment she had offered to pay for dinner. Though, this is your fault. You let her without calculating whatever end result was waiting to catch you off guard and ruin your entire life plan to avoid Fred Weasley.

Being the snake she is, snake Aleyna enticed you with nice food, dragged you to Sacree Fleur and did her little snake magic.

Awkwardly angled next to your best friend, you chat with Harry and Hermione while they tell you what you missed from work. (Not that you missed much, actually nothing different seems to have happened other than boring paperwork and Mrs Newersman’s new hairdo.)

Swirling your wine in one hand, the reflection of Fred from the rim of the glass keeps distracting you.

He’s changed, not personality wise though there were tweaks. Nor looks, he’s an adult now and his boyish charm is gone, but it isn’t quite that.

You can’t put a finger on it either, and you watch him laugh, carefree with his sister.

He looks relaxed, or maybe it’s merely the wine. Is it - no, couldn’t be. He looks happy. Genuine happiness and adoration for whomever. Love in his eyes as he looks at - Ah. He’s looking at you.

You jerk your head away and tip your wine glass back to gulp down liquid courage - because you need it tonight.  This is bad, you tell yourself, kick you on the shin and punch to your gut bad. This can’t keep up or else you’re going to end up right back in that hollow pit of empty hope and gooey saturday lasagna.

“So, any plans for Christmas Eve ____?”

Ron’s timbre voice thankfully grips your arms and pulls you away from said hollow pit.

“Uhh what?” you cough awkwardly, setting your now empty wine glass down.

“Christmas Eve, what are you doing? Going back home?” Ron asks, raising a brow.

You can lie but something compels you not to, maybe it’s how warmly they always welcome you, how they’re welcoming you now with open arms and nice food.

You shake your head, answering honestly; “No actually, I’ll just celebrate with Jambo and Christmas movies.”

And that’s exactly how you’ve been spending your Christmas Eve these past few lonesome years. It wasn’t that lonely, you had Aleyna and people loved her bar, you’d drop by and count down with people you didn’t know, at least you got to kiss a random stranger.

“Jambo? He’s still alive?” Hermione chuckles.

“No no, this is Jambo Fitzwilliam the Second, who is also a cat but don’t you dare tell him that!” smiling, you joke lightheartedly to conceal the harsh news.

Your hand reaches to trace around your scar as you speak.You know their eyes follow, and you know they stare at it when you’re not looking. Teddy asked you one day, even after Ginny’s scolding but you happily told him your heroic story and how Bellatrix smelled like piss and rum.

Sighing, you set your hand on your lap.

Jambo had unfortunately passed away because apparently dogs couldn’t live two hundred years, which you were disappointed because clearly Dumbledore could. You had already grieved and mourned, it left you with the happiest memories of your precious dog and you were grateful.

“Poor kitty doesn’t know he’s adopted?” George frowns, banging his fist on the table.

You roll your eyes, “I’m sure he’s caught on by now, he’s three.”

“So, you’re spending Christmas Eve alone?” Fred asks, too suddenly and you flinch. He probably sees this, his effect on you.

You nod, and your friends gasp. Surely it wasn’t that big of a deal, or maybe it’s because of how normal it felt for you to be alone.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Ginny says, hand shooting out to rub your arm.

“I’ve been trying to get her out for ages-“

“Aleyna, don’t.” you nudge her arm.

“No Aleyna, do!” Ginny protests. “You’re spending it with us and that’s that.”

“Wha-“

George throws up his finger to shush you, “No objections!” he declares fiercely. “We’re having a party at our flat and you both are coming!”

“Oh! Unless you and Blaise have any other plans.” Hermione’s quick to ask, she isn’t being slick though.

Aleyna chuckles, “We had dinner reservations but we can make it.”

Hermione grins, and you watch Aleyna pretend that she didn’t notice her friend ready to snoop in her relationship with an amused smile. Not that it matters - she and Blaise have that kind of love you hoped for as a young girl. There was truly no two other people so perfect for each other.

“How’s Blaise doing by the way?”

Aleyna takes a sip from her almost empty glass and tuts on the bitter after taste. “Amazing, actually. He just got promoted…”

Almost empty glasses are soon emptied bottles, and two steaks turn into a large brownie for the middle. You know that it’s a good meal, because as you stand outside in the midnight cold, arm around Aleyna, your legs wobble and your stomach aches from all the deliciousness you’ve consumed. More like inhaled, you only realized how hungry you were until the second steak arrived.

“Thank you so much you guys!” you wave your arm, overly theatrical, forgetting about what a day you’ve had.

Though, the thoughts catch up as you lay awake in bed.

It had gone by too quickly, and your heart is still beating louder than any chirping of the bugs outside. Your bedroom lacks furnishing, it only adds to your wild imagination. Your mind paints pictures on the blank walls as your eyes dart around, Fred didn’t look in your direction once that night.

Or maybe he did, only you didn’t see.

It’s strange, whenever you turned your gaze his way, he seemed to be busying himself with whatever, whether it be his fork or napkin. How interesting can a damn napkin be? Hopefully not any lesser than you.

And are you just going to ignore that goddamned bracelet? The one you carefully sculpted with beads in such a way that you were sure Fred would suspect at least a drop of your raging crush. He’s still wearing it, that piece of string and glass - the symbol of your love and effort - survived through a war.

Are you reading into things? Surely not, he greeted you as anyone else would. Or maybe he remembered - you don’t dare think of that night.

How can they act so normally, so brazen after everything? It’s been almost six years since you saw them, have they got nothing to say to you? Maybe an apology?

Frustrated, you turn to your side and force your eyes shut.

————————

When night bleeds into morning, every cat has a tendency to quip over to their owners on their cushioned paws - which makes no noise but simple claw scratchings on the floor.

Jambo’s no different.

So, you’d imagine the poor creature's shock when he finds your bedroom empty. If he’d bothered to check, you’re seated on your island stool, pen and parchment in hand and mug of hot coffee (instant given the circumstance) in the other.

You hung your new curtains this morning, and were making use of them by shutting them halfway on the hooks while your window stood half open. You watch the snow flurry outside and gulp. If this week was to go horribly wrong... at least you have nice curtains waiting for you at your ritzy new apartment.

Jambo wraps his tail around your dangling ankle like he always does and you barely hum in acknowledgement. He’s purring, and it brings you comfort even if it’s for a small moment. But your question still remains unanswered, What would a five year old boy want for christmas?

It had been exactly two days since Ginny invited you to spend Christmas Eve together, and you busied yourself with buying them gifts - a tradition you hated because 1. coming up with gift ideas is infuriatingly hard. It’s way too time consuming, nit picking every single personality and deciding what they’ll like and what they’ll pretend to like. Pretend like they’re going to use it, and then never touch it until that one very specific occasion.

Maybe it’s excessive, but you actually like these people. They somehow give you - a sad, lonely sewer rat that’d been a neglected child - joy.

And 2. you feel like those people you make fun of every Christmas. Though, somewhere deep in your heart, you know you enjoy being those people. You would never admit it though.

What? You actually relish in the idea that you belong to a group, and that said group causes you to carry out cliche holiday traditions?

Absolute blasphemy.

Finally deciding, you leave your apartment in warm but cher clothing. It isn’t as crowded this morning - or maybe it’s because it’s seven forty in the crack of fucking dawn. Though, with the amount of caffeine you’ve consumed, it feels like ten.

Would they even be open, you ask yourself, jogging quickly about the streets on your heels to avoid the cold. It’s Christmas, they have to be.

Of course your logic sucks.

Shivering, you round the corner tea shop and fasten your pace. Ass freezing, lip tucked in between your teeth, you realize you have underestimated the morning London cold.

Soon, thankfully, the giant head of George(?) you assume, comes into view. The animatronic is motionless, big porcelain eyes closed and displaying sinister gaping holes. You shiver, and not because of the cold either.

Keeping your eyes low on your feet, you push the glass doors of the shop open. You don’t bother to check the inside from the generous glass displays, it’s way too cold and you don’t want to spend any more time outside with the giant George doll.

A bell rings, a little jingle up above that puts a smile on your face. Jambo’s collar jingled like that whenever he got excited, whether it be a pesky squirrel ready to bum off your house food, or maybe a friendly one showing its face to piss off the house dog.

You sigh, and only then notice the delicious scent of fresh coffee roast. Invading through your nostrils and turning you into a drunkard, and you can’t help but gravitate towards-

Woah, you’ve had your coffee today.

“Who's here so early, couldn’t a man enjoy breakfa-”

You smile apologetically, it’s only natural that Fred just woke up. He isn’t a morning person, after years of knowing him you found out one way or another. In your case, he was mean to you and that’s when it clicked. Fred doesn’t like the early hours of morning, where his hair isn’t as tame and his lips feel like they’re about to pop. You find it charming.

“____?”, the man of the hour comes into view, standing at the top of the spiral staircase. The first step is a rung, rolling on the hinges of the wall's edges. The staircase rattles when Fred steps down, and you quickly jump forward in panic.

Mug in one hand, his fingers rake through his mussed morning hair then settles on the checkout counter. “Morning,” He smiles, and those dang smile lines greets you, as if they’re mocking you again.

“Morning, I know it’s early and-”

“It’s okay, have you had breakfast yet?”

Taken aback, you nod. Disappointment flashes through his face, and before you can analyze he straightens. Taking a sip of his coffee and humming, he fixes his pyjama bottoms. Red and checkered, loosely hanging from his hip and giving you a teasing view of his lower abdomen. “Can I get you anything?” he asks again, adamant on offering you something.

You shake your head no and you watch his face fall. Merlin, you would have come starving if it meant having breakfast with him. The view before you is enough to fulfill your darkest fantasies, and this is enough. Because you know that this is all you could get. His friendship.

But is it though? Is it truly enough? Will it ever be enough?

The questions that linger around your head have an answer that you wouldn’t dare set free. Everything you’re doing right now is wrong, how you’re standing in front of him, letting his delicious scent compel you further into him.

He smells almost alluring - he always does - less piquant than yesterday. Probably the after taste of neglecting a shower, yet his natural fragrance is just as charming. You remember those mornings at the Burrow when Fred stumbled down the stairs, sun early and bright, woken up just like himself. He smelled ama-

Woah, down girl.

Fred clears his throat, and only then do you realize how long it has been since you spoke.

“I need to buy something.” you blurt. Fuck, this couldn't get more embarrassing. “For Ted, his gift.” You finish lamely.

“Ah,” Fred chuckles, giving you a quick lookover. You flush. “You have come to the right place.”

It’s true, the shop is truly...something. A gateway to heaven for anyone twelve or younger. Fascinated, you take your time to linger your eyes on every little nook and cranny that catches your eye.

The shop feels much tamer without the telltale rowdy crowd, it’s almost comforting. You can really see a piece of each twin on each display, Fred’s being the Deflagration Deluxe. ‘A deluxe selection of Weasleys’ Wild-Fire Whiz-Bangs’ read on the big cardboard. You chuckle, he always had a bag full of them that he carried around religiously.

“Those!” he exclaims, scurrying over to the display, “New and improved by yours truly.”

You chuckle, and Fred breaks out into a smile. “Here, I’ll show you around.” he mutters, before you can utter a protest, he takes your hand in his and drags you to a shelved corridor. “This is his favorite section, explosives and quidditch.”

You smile as you scan the heaps of colorful products lining the walls, all engraved with the shop's signature logo. Fingers coming out to touch a few, you subconsciencly swing your encased hands together. “These are real neat.”

Fred smirks, though his palms feel hotter than usual, “Not so much when he’s blowing up the bloody flat.”

You chuckle softly, eyes fluttering to imagine little Ted shaking up a pair of fireworks, unknowingly setting them off and resulting in a giant black mark on the ceiling. Because only that explains the small black stains on the walls of the shop.

“See anything you like?” Fred offers, almost in a whisper.

“No I,” you turn back to him, and something flashes between the two of you. “I’m still…looking.”

The air feels tense, warm, affecting your body. Your breath catches in your throat, Fred’s eyes bore into yours with such intensity that you don’t know what to do. Even your breathing feels on edge.

He moves closer to you and your heart flutters. His exhales hit your ear, only a breadth away from your neck and you flinch. Chills lift up the hair on your arms, “No...erm.” you mutter.

“Alright.” he says softly.

His eyes are hooded, displaying a perfectly long set of eyelashes.

How, is the question. They’re long and thick, and you’re jealous. Yes, you might have ruined yours with your curler but still, if you were born with eyelashes like that you wouldn’t even need a blasted curler.

“What are you thinking ‘bout.” he whispers, long digit lifting to stroke your cheek. So soft that you barely feel it, before he trails it up your cheekbones, to the panes of your face.

The same alarms blast in your ears, and you can’t ignore them this time. It isn’t that you don’t like this, on the contrary you’re ready to jump him.

“Eva!”

Fred takes a step back, face falling. “What?”

You shake off whatever just happened seconds ago and focus on reality. “Gosh, I forgot to ask.” you exclaim, over excited but at what cost. “How is she doing? Is she up there in the flat?”

Fred winces. “Actually-”

“I’m guessing you guys moved in together, after all those years you know. Don’t tell me you guys got marr-”

“____!” he takes a deep breath, “We broke up a few years ago.”

You freeze. “What?”

They broke up? “Why, oh Fred-”

Fred shushes you with a finger. Embarrassed, warmth spreads through you like a tidal wave. “I fell out of love, but it felt nice to have someone around, you know?”

You don’t say anything, yes you know but his loneliness and yours is much too different.

Growing up, Fred had the support of his family, he always had someone there. You knew it was bad to dismiss him like this, but the aching in your heart wasn’t going to allow him to speak like that. He always had someone affirming that it would be okay, someone to pat his back whenever he scored a goal through a hoop, whenever he got a good grade or did a cool trick with his broom. He still had them, even if he was at his worst. He had endless support. You didn’t.

It wasn’t easy after the war, living alone with nothing but the collar of Jambo gripped tightly in your hands. He had died shortly after Voldemort fell, and you had to hang onto the last piece he left until your agony died down. That was your only support.

Ginny, Hermione and Aleyna were there of course, but everyone's way of coping is different, and they didn’t understand yours nor each other’s. It’s worse to try and forget, run away from that fear because it would always catch up with you, and you found that the best way is to sit and feel.

But that doesn't mean your friends weren’t any less supportive. The after effects of the war were way more harsh on you than you let on, you were stuck on autopilot - a painful loop that made your life feel worthless. Work, money, survival - the three main aspects occupying your mind at all times. You didn’t have the love and attention to give to friends or a relationship (maybe that’s why it never worked out) but soon, Ginny and Hermione had reached out to you.

It was a simple letter delivered by their family owl Nebula - a descendant of poor old Errol. You remember tears pooling in your eyes when they told you how much they missed you, they gave meaning to your life. It was no longer the painful loop, they invited you over for dinner, visited every other day after hooking up your house Floo Network, you were always a welcomed guest in their homes.

They made you realize that friendship didn’t need much energy nor hard effort, just being there for each other was enough. Love for someone came naturally, and you didn’t need to extract some of your own self-love to give to others. They were two different things.

Skimming past that, you watch Fred show you three different options of Make Your Own Fireworks kits. You smile solemnly, accept a random one and quietly follow him to the checkup counter.

“So.” he starts, wrapping the product with the paper design you picked. “How about you, anyone special?”

Drumming your fingers on the counter, you shrug. “I dated Theo Nott for a year, I knew nothing would come out of it but like you said, nice to have someone.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Nott? Really?” he frowns. “Can’t believe that tosser managed to-”

You snort, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Shrugging, Fred hands you the package. “Nothing, it’s just that -” he pauses and his eyes look at you like you should know what he’s talking about. As if the two of you have some sort of telepathic connection, Fred was always like this.

He would look at you like you understood a word you said, even though he’s been silent for the past minute or so. He always struggled to express himself, and you’re sad to see that this habit followed him into adulthood.

Nonetheless, you smile. “Just that what?”

“Nevermind,” he sighs. “That’ll be twenty five galleons.”

“Twenty what?” Your eyes widen. “You heartless man!”

Fred gapes at you, struggling to keep a straight face.

“Twenty five, to your oldest pal? Twenty and a stick of gum.”

Fred pretends to think. “How about you keep the gum and give me twenty four.”

“Twenty two.” you narrow your eyes, leaning forward on the counter. “Oh come on, it’s Christmas!”

Fred scoffs,“I am giving you the holiday discount!”

Grumbling, you reluctantly stick your hand in your purse and take out your wallet. “I won’t forget this. You’re in my book.”

Fred gasped dramatically, “Not the book!” he exclaims, “Twenty two then, please for the love of merlin not the book.”

You lift your chin, head tilting to the side to survey him mockingly. “Twenty two it is, you won’t get away so easily next time.”

The two of you giggling, you pay him the money and leave a few sickles. “For the great service.” you say, him pretend-blushing at your words and tucking a strand of his shoulder length hair behind his ear.

He speaks after some time, the laughter has died down and left it’s comforting after taste. “I missed you ____, why didn’t you visit?”

That turns the after taste into pure panic.

How can he ask that when the answer is so obvious. Fred’s still cruel it seems, he doesn’t bat an eyelash as he speaks. He knows the reason.

“Oh you know,” you start after some time, “Work and stuff.” you lie, and fight the urge to cringe at your words.

Though Fred doesn’t buy it, he doesn’t push it either. He simply nods, looking down at the checkout counter. You’re glad he’s avoiding your gaze, because it makes your departure much easier. “See you at the party Fred, thanks for the...uh. Yeah.” you awkwardly lift your bag up and give him a wave before pushing yourself outside. You can finally breathe.

——————

You look good.

Or, at least you think you do.

Blaise was arriving in exactly seven minutes and you barely just put on your dress. You’re sure of this because Blaise is always on time, he even has an unnecessarily expensive watch on his right hand that he obsessively likes to check. At least Aleyna’s into it, frantically trying to strap her heels, she’s wriggling herself towards the front door to somehow track her lover. You don’t know how love works, maybe they can smell each other from a mile away or something.

Shaking your head, you fluff your hair and wipe a hand across your under eye after wetting it with your tongue. You think Aleyna calls for you, you’re not sure because you’re too occupied trying to decide if you’re going to wear lipstick.

“Hey,” you walk out of your bathroom door and scurry towards her, “should I?”

Aleyna raises a brow. You scoff, “Stop doing that, you know I can’t raise mine individually.”

“Sounds like a you problem.”

“I’m about to make it your problem too if you don’t help me.”

As reflex, you roll your eyes. You only do this because you know it reminds Aleyna of that one chick from Blaise’s workplace - she knows no boundaries, apparently. It’s a shitty move, but it’s a shitty world.

Aleyna carefully inspects the two products you hold tightly between your hands. A simple shimmery gloss and a nude, almost dark red lipstick you stole - borrowed - from her. “Depends, who are you smooching?”

Throwing her an incredulous look, you hold out the two products on your palms. “I’m not smooching anyone.”

Unless of course Fred Weasley asks, if he does you would pull out makeup wipes from thin air and jump into his arms with naked lips ready to be kissed. Though, that’s only a fantasy and Fred is emotionally unavailable...scratch that, you are.

You’re not sure how tonight is going to end, and you can’t help but be aware of that looming clump of anxiety, clutching on your chest and refusing to let go until you're assured that it’s going to be fine.

“The gloss, just in case.” Aleyna stops your train of thought before it trashes off its tracks and crashes somewhere in Fred McDreamy land.

You nod, making no further inquiries and getting yourself ready as best as you can. Fixing your bodice and giving your scar a quick look, you finally hear the doorbell ring after a few long minutes, followed by Blaise’s deep voice greeting his girlfriend. You give the couple a few seconds to smooch - if you will, before walking back to the living room.

Blaise grins when he sees you, he’s wearing a sleek black suit with its first two collar buttons undone - you expect no less class from him.

“Happy Christmas!” you chime, pulling him into a hug and squeezing him tight just enough so you can whisper in his ear. “I hope you picked out the second ring, Zabini.”

Blaise swallows thickly before laughing, you know this because you physically feel him start to sweat. “I swear I did, don’t worry I have a plan.” he winks after letting go.

“I knew you were going to say that,” he loops an arm around Aleyna’s waist and pulls her by his side. “Only the best for my girl.”

Aleyna gives you both questioning looks.

You quickly clear your throat, “Anyways, let’s go before the serenading and the rose petals start.”

The three of you finally leave, the walk down your apartment building feels way too short, and the moment you exit you’re hit with the wonderfully chilly Christmas air.

For a moment, you forget where you’re going.

Lights are hung up everywhere, across shops, tangled through trees and some floating in the air. You can’t see the night sky, Diagon Alley has one of its own, adorned with radiant moons and luminous stars just bright enough for people to navigate themselves through crowds with zero accidents. It feels breathtakingly overwhelming.

Glass ornaments are charmed to fly across, a special show prepared by Madame Mulkin, and Mr. Eyelop tuned in by letting out a few snow owls rest around random trees to add to the warm atmosphere. There’s flavour wafting around the air, you inhale again to identify it better.

Speeding your way through - it hits you, gingerbread and chocolate.

You clutch your bag towards your chest, suddenly you feel disgustingly sappy. Though, you are in public so you decide to shake off that small warmth threatening your heart and continue walking towards Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

The walk towards the shop feels too short again, you almost check your watch to see if Hermione’s playing with the time turner again.

You almost turn on your heel, dump the bundle of presents you’ve bought on their front door and leave. You can, in theory, you’ve separated from Aleyna and Blaise midway through and you can just run and never look back.

Tough luck, when you walk through the generously decorated shop and up the stairs, you’re disappointed to see their flat door wide open.

You stare at it, it feels too inviting. Frank Sinatra blares through the walls, you can smell hints of incense, trailing through your nose and tickling you, causing you to sneeze. You were always sensitive towards smells, and it never bothered you until now.

“Bless you!” George Weasley appears, rounding a corridor and greeting you with open arms into his neat dress shirt. He hugs you like you’re family, and if you weren’t holding a sack like Santa Clause with his your jolly ass hanging on by the mere piece of fabric of your dress you would have hugged back.

“Thanks, Happy Christmas George.” you smile when he takes the sack from your hands and weighs it with raised brows.

“You didn’t have to buy anything ____!” he pats your shoulder, hand trailing to your lower back to navigate you inside. “We are the gift givers, you’re our guest.”

You chuckle, walking through the long entrance corridor, “Of course I’m getting gifts you quack.”

George scoffs, “Using my words against me now are we?”

When you gaze up at the famous joke shop as a little civilian in the streets of Diagon Alley, you don’t expect to catch the sight of a flat this large. You knew it was sizable since two grown men somehow fit and live there, but you underestimated just how successful Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was.

The floors are wood, clean with even several shoes stepping around, chattering with wine glasses in their wobbly hands. A bulletin board hangs next to a quidditch rack filled with different kinds of equipment - old and new.

Too entranced by the cozy interior, you don’t bother stealing glances at the bulletin board. The kitchen and living room are connected, yet they still somehow feel like completely different rooms. The den is lit up by a brick fireplace, lightly crackling and making the atmosphere all the more comfortable. The soft fur (faux you hoped, though Mr Weasley did have a muggle hunting rifle phase which you thoroughly discouraged) carpet tickles your ankles and you have to hold onto George’s arm for support

“Bevvy?” he offers you, holding out a pint beer glass and you shake your head, admiring the apartment further.

Most couches are leather yet they still look comfortable, the kitchen is big but not obnoxiously so, you can hear the clinking of a foosball table - commotion makes sense in their apartment - the wide living space narrows through a corridor, leading to what you assume must be bedrooms.

You’re glad Fred and Eva broke up, because you decide then and there that you’re going to visit the twins everyday despite your history, just to step into this apartment again.

“____!”

Angelina’s sweet voice causes your unease to vanish in an instant and you crush her in a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas!” you smile, looping an arm around her shoulder and letting her guide you through the flat. “You changed your hair!”

Angelina nudges you with her hip, “Thank merlin you noticed, George is clueless.”

“Oh? George? You never told me - Hey Cho!”

You’re cut off by several familiar faces greeting you and telling you to make yourself comfortable. And you do, right next to Hermione and Ginny, two pregnant and fierce women that keep bickering with their husbands because of their weird cravings.

“I’m with you on this one Gin’!” you snort, eyeing Harry. You have a wine glass in one hand and the power you hold makes you feel too confident. “If the woman wants sausages marinated with toothpaste, she’s getting sausages marinated with toothpaste!”

Harry grumbles, “Will you please stop fueling this!” he protests, downing his drink and banging this on the table. “Look sweetheart, you wanted onions and mustard just a second ago so I got you ‘em, what made you change your mind?”

Ginny bangs her fist on the coffee table, in addition to Harry’s outburst. It seemed everyone was banging stuff on tables, so you do too.

“You think I know? Sod off or get me my toothpaste!” Ginny yells, banging another fist after you.

Harry kneels down next to the foot of the couch and holds his wife’s hand, gently massaging her knuckles. “We can’t get you toothpaste,” he says calmly.

“Why!” says Ginny, banging another fist.

“I think you know why,” says Harry.

“Stop damaging my property.” says George, materializing out of thin air.

You feel bad for Harry, you truly do but it only lasts for a second because this is even more entertaining than watching Aunt Muriel try to play foosball while shouting ‘Come at me you haired back marys!’

You’re enjoying yourself, the buzz, the warmth, the scent of fire. It’s comfortable and not at all like a party. It’s as if you’re visiting your friends for thanksgiving, homely and welcoming.

Though, the first crack forms when you see Fred, eyeing you from the small bar of their kitchen.

Dressed in navy slacks and a red, turtleneck sweater, he leans against the counter with a glass of Firewhiskey clutched on his big hand. He swirls it as his lips twitch, keeping his gaze set on you. His hair falls on his eyes, mostly pushed back but how strong hair gel can really be?

He looks good, way too good for a party. But it’s not the outfit, it's his entire presence. The way he holds himself, acts, speaks - shit, it’s attractive. He can do anything and he’ll always have that charismatic charm, it makes you feel envious, not to mention incredibly horny.

It’s Christmas, it’s a sacred holiday. You can’t let Fred sexy Weasley get to you, no matter how unapproachable and out of your league he looks.

You’re the bigger person - apparently - and you decide to greet him first.

You don’t know what compels you to do this, but it must be quite a strong force because you feel yourself start to quiver when you abandon your place on the couch. It’s so strong that your wobbly legs carry you while you push through tipsy friends and hold you up all the way to the kitchen area.

“Merry Christmas.” you croak, pulling him in a quick hug which he returns happily.

“Merry Christmas yourself.”  he smiles, gaze drifting lower to your dress only for a second before he swallows.

His signature cologne that you’ve engraved deep in your head this past week bursts out again. You smile softly, relishing in him.

“You look,” he seems to be giving much more thought on whatever he’s about to say, he settles on; “Beautiful, you’re, uh - the dress.” he finishes lamely.

“Oh,” your face falls. The dress is beautiful, not you. Of course. “Thank you, I would say you don’t look too bad yourself but that would be a lie.”

Fred raises a brow, putting his wine glass on the bar with a clink before slowly turning on his heel. “Aw, cheers love.” he says casually, “Wore it for you,”

You raise both your brows, “Is that so?” you fight a grin.

“This little number is my lucky charm.” he smirks, pulling on his shirt. “Made women fall at my feet back in the day, maybe you will too.” he finishes, more bashfully than before. His cheeks are tinted pink and, now, for the first time, you feel clueless.

Your heart stutters when you speak, “Trying to butter me up Frederick?” you say shly, nudging the tip of his shoe with yours.

Fred winks. “And what if I am?” he suddenly straightens, arms folding together. His head bows as he continues with a smile, “I’m joking, got this a week ago for the party.”

You fight the urge to smile, “Ah, so not the chick magnet.”

“Well,” Fred laughs, “It’s still very wolfish.”

“Whatever you say, big ole pussy cat.” you pat him on the shoulder.

Fred scoffs good naturally, “Ah, you hurt my pride ____.”

When you don’t say anything, his gaze falls on you. He takes the time to look at you, really take you in and it makes your efforts feel appreciated for once. He takes a deep breath, head careening left for a moment.

“It’s not just the dress.” he rubs the back of his neck, eyes falling on your scar. “You really are beautiful.”

Your hand immediately flies to your brow, tracing a finger down the gash. It’s not as noticeable anymore and your hair grew back - thankfully - but the knowledge that it’s still there, parading itself to everyone makes you feel much more self conscious than you should.

Fred’s hand closes over yours and you freeze. “You might not think so, but not only is your scar a wicked bedtime story, it’s very attractive.”

Your ears feel hot, “You think I’m attractive?”

It’s a nice compliment - especially when it comes from a man like Fred.

“Do I think you’re,” he gasps, giving you an incredulous look. “Of course you’re - ! I mean you can’t be asking me that - are you, gah!”

A chuckle bubbles from your throat. It’s quite amusing watching Fred Weasley struggling to speak, clearly embarrassed. The knowledge that you made him this way, you were sleeping like a baby tonight that’s for sure.

“Look, ____. I actually wanted to tell you something really important.” he fidgets with his cuffs.

You furrow your brows, “Of course, what is it?”

“I used to, well I think I still do because it never truly went away but - okay, this is harder than I thought.”

You chuckle nervously. “Fred, you’re freaking me out here.”

You hear him mutter something along the likes of what’s wrong with me, until he speaks again.

“What I meant to say was, I wan-“

“Oh my god, ____, Fred!”

When you left your apartment a few days ago, your mind didn’t calculate the outcomes of meeting Fred Weasley.

The impact is so strong that it causes your past to - not flash, because this is painful - slowly start playing before your eyes, like a play you have to sit through because the seats were expensive, and the star of the show, the star of your own life is standing right in front of you.

She’s wearing a gorgeous, gold cocktail dress. The costume design is delicate, it’s the type of dress you flutter your fingers in (the fabric is ticklish and soft, you just had to touch it) before moving onto the next. The rack is full of other suitable options, because you know you can never wear a dress like that.

But Eva can. She was always gorgeous, you couldn’t compare.

Fred’s eyes are wide, the way he’s tugging on your dress makes worry wash over you. “Eva? Erm - who invited you?” His words sound more bitter than he intends them to, or at least you think so.

“Oh, is that how you treat guests around here?” she fucking giggles, playfully slapping his shoulder.

You can’t tell if she’s purposely ignoring you - you’re standing right there - or just forgot your existence after seeing Fred in those pants because sweet merciful heavens.

Fred shifts uncomfortably, “Right sorry well, Merry Christmas!” he’s back to normal, addressing her as he addresses anyone else you can’t help but smirk.

Of course, you immediately jump on this opportunity. Eva may have ruined most of your childhood, she may currently look gorgeous - mockingly so, but you’re not kids anymore. No matter how insignificant you feel, you still have your pride to protect.

“Merry Christmas,” you add, jumping forward. “How long has it been?”

Eva’s expression turns sour, though she conceals it quickly. “____! Oh I love your dress.”

She doesn’t wish you a merry christmas.

“Happy holidays Freddie! Where can a girl get a drink around here?” she squeaks? You’re not sure, her voice is too sweet and you don’t know how to act.

Fred grins, “Right there,” he points to a corner far away from the kitchen. “Lee’s in charge of drinks, I’m sure he can hook you up with something.”

Eva ponders, pausing for a beat. She’s expectantly staring at Fred, though when he shows no intention of accompanying her she gives you a menacing look and leaves.

You didn’t expect a big reunion because you saw Eva a few months ago at the hospital, you had sprained an ankle while training with Ron, and she tried to heal you before the Head Healer cut in and told her to take a walk.

Fred’s weight relaxes as soon as Eva’s out of view, it doesn’t take much to know something happened between the two - it wasn’t a harmless breakup like Fred had told you. You don’t push it though, if he wants to tell you he will.

“Well that was,” you say, and he hums in response, swirling his drink in one hand. You watch the gold hue with him for a moment. “Interesting.”

He snorts, “She drops by every Friday to give me green apples. I hate green apples.”

“How long did you guys date?” you can’t help the words that tumble out of your lips.

He stares at you for a moment, you swear his lip almost twitch in a smile before he clears his throat. “Three years, I thought I loved her for a year.”

“Well what changed your mind?”

Fred looks at you like you just asked the dumbest question a joke shop owner could hear. “You, daft idiot, you did.”

“Wha-” you stammer. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Fred groans. “I need a drink.” and with that, he leaves towards where Eva previously walked on her precious Chanel heels. Leaves you alone.

It wasn’t like you called the man's family a disgrace and cursed his entire bloodline. Confused, you decide that maybe you need a drink as well to survive this night.

Everyone you had talked to so far ended with a disagreement, except George because he probably felt bad for you and your huge red gift sack. Embarrassment fills your cheeks as you walk towards the beverage table, you shouldn’t have come tonight.

The cherry on top gets dropped on the shit sundae when Eva Burke bumps into your shoulder and causes you to spill your drink.

“Oops! Babe I’m so sorry,” She pulls a red cloth from the glass table filled with different types of intoxications and rubs it on the fabric of your dress, further ruining it.

Embarrassment turns into frustration, this turns into pure anger. You see red.

You snatch the cloth from her hands and lightly push her forward, Eva dramatically - and very theatrically - falls on the ground with a yelp.

“Oh get up!” you hiss, throwing the cloth on the ground.

Eva scrambles to her feet, holding her right ankle with dainty, perfectly manicured hands. “Oh, now we’re turning to violence are we? Some things never change.”

You let out a frustrated grumble, stumping your heel on the ground. “I really don’t have time for this Eva.”

“We’re just talking babe, I don’t understand why you’re so upset over this.”

“I’m not upset, I’m tired.” you sigh.

Suddenly with her magically healed ankle she trudges forward. “Is it the dress?” she pouts, bending down to eye the splotch on your chest. “I can pay for it, say...two sickles?”

Your eyes narrow, “How about this, you show me how your career is going and I’ll decide if you can afford a wash.”

Eva barks out a laugh, “How about this, I’ll show you a family picture album.”

Gasping, you hold back the urge to slap her. You never expected Eva to stoop this low, and you know you shouldn’t be upset over it but it hurts. It hurts how easily she can use your family against you with no remorse.

Beyond pissed, insulted and done with tonight, you pull out your wand and get ready to apparate. This time it’s not to run away, nor do you feel like a coward. You feel tired, using your palms to press into your temple and relieve your throbbing headache.

Eva grips your wand and tries to pull you forward with failed force. “Let’s get this straight, Fred’s not interested in you.”

“And you think he’s interested in you?” you laugh, “You broke up remember?

Eva flings her long hair back, “And I’m gonna get him back. No one breaks up with me.”

“So, you're still a narcissistic bitch.” you smile.

“And you’re still pathetically clinging onto whatever I touch.” She takes a step forward, and it hits you then and there that you aren’t going home sooner or later. “Wanna know why we broke up?”

You hold your breath, her perfume is too sweet and you can’t process her words.

“He caught me cheating.” she smirks. “And he still begged me to stay, after all that.”

Your nostrils flare, and you’re about ready to punch her. You’ve never seen someone so prideful, so proud to have done something so obaminable. But it doesn’t surprise you, you pity her.

“Some loser from the bank.” she mockingly wipes a nonexistent tear with her jeweled wrist. “See, that’s the difference between me and you ____. “

You almost scream bloody murder. “Oh do enlighten me.” Your voice is weirdly high pitched but you don’t seem to care.

“He begged me, not you. He’ll never want you. You’ll always end up with the leftovers ____, accept that.” she hisses, taking another step forward.

You don’t know what you’ve done to the woman standing before you with nothing but red fire in her eyes, she looks ready to pull out your hair follicle by follicle, yet it makes you smirk. With a shit eating grin on your face, it hits you. “I knew it.” you laugh.

Eva stutters, “What?”

“Why you’re actually delusional to think he’s taking you back.”

“Oh but he will.” she protests, stomping her heel.

“No, he won’t.”

When you see Eva stay quiet, you continue. ”You grew up spoiled rotten, your parents love you, hell my parents love you, you always had the most friends and always got your way.”

She smirks, you’re tempted not to continue but years of pent up anger is ready to burst through your chest. “Yeah, jealous are we?” Eve mocks, and you quiver as you speak. Stating the obvious doesn’t hurt you anymore.

“No, because you grew up thinking everyone will love you, no matter how wrong you are, or what horrible things you do, you’ll always think that people won’t stop being by your side.” you shake your head, tutting. “But you’re wrong. I guess that’s what too much love does to you - you think a simple sorry will fix what you did? Because no, it won’t.”

“Oh stop it, Fred wants me back, it’s painfully obvious.” Eva speaks, but she doesn’t sound sure at all.

“I’ll make it clear for you.” you smile. “Fred won’t take you back for cheating, you won’t get a second chance in your career, and you sure as hell won’t be getting an apology from me.”

By now, you don’t care who's listening, because they are. Oh, they’re eating this kitty fight up like free dessert Monday at Fleur’s. Your childhood friends are watching you with intense, widened eyes. And somehow, in a cruel, wicked way, you feel satisfaction. The harsh words slipping out of your lips like nectar, in comparison to the way they slap Eva across the face fills you with nothing but disgusting satisfaction.

Sure, it’s immature and yes, you could’ve worded everything much better to be even more impactful, but the way her eyes are bloodshot and vengenceful, it’s enough for you.

Eva grits her teeth, and you know she doesn’t have much to say. “I don’t need an apology from you, ____.” she speaks, and her next words cause you to freeze, because no matter what wrong doing, she’s still right. ”You’re right, I might not be forgiven, but in the end I will always be better than you. People will always favour me more and you can never change that.”

You try to lunge forward, teeth gritter. With harsh impact, you topple backwards. Strong arms are wrapped around your chest, holding you back from gouging Eva’s eyes out with the toothpick from the martini glasses.

“Nice weather we’re having,” Fred says, a deep rumble coming from his chest and against your back. You fight the urge to shiver, though you’re way too angry to be thinking of how good he smells. “Why don’t we sober up sweetheart.” he asks you, whispering.

“No!” you shriek, struggling to move forward. “This isn’t over until I break her nose!”

Eva laughs, “Oh come at me, babe! Let’s see what a traumatized neglected child can do, yeah?” her eyes flash.

A deep, growling of distress leaves you. “Oh let me go! Let’s see what a filthy adulter can do!”

“I didn’t mean to cheat you know!”

You groan, “Heaven’s above let me go Fred.”

Eva takes two steps forward before Lee grasps her arms. “But these things happen for a reason!” her shrill voice causes you to wince.

“Yeah, you!” you cry.

Eva shrieks, lunging forward in an attempt to reach you again, and at that moment Fred seems to have about enough.

“Alright, that’s it.” His stern voice causes you to flinch, muscular arms still holding you close to his chest, he yanks you backwards and starts walking towards the corridor. “That’s enough with the both of you, Lee take Eva outside, get her some fresh air.”

——————

Fred has the decency to take you to his bedroom rather than toss you outside like he had done with Eva.

If the situation was any different, you’d be over the moon right now. Alone? With Fred Weasley? In his big bedded, fireplace occupying, additional bathroom having bedroom?

Said situation did not have you sitting on a leather rocking chair, big mug of coffee in hand while Fred lectures you like a parent. Actually, you wouldn’t know.

You’ve been quiet for the past fifteen minutes, too scared to say anything and anger him further. You knew how much this party meant to him, and you had ruined it with your childish, pent up jealousy. It wasn’t just you per say, but you had let Eva get to you.

“Can’t the two of you act your age for one fucking second,” he groans, hand propped against the brick fireplace. “I know how infuriating she is, but you-” inhaling sharply, he strides towards you. “Say something will you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me she cheated?”

Fred’s expression softens. “What?”

You gulp, you shouldn’t have brought it up when he was agitated, but you can’t listen to him while the words echo around your head. You feel awful, insensitive, anything else to call yourself that makes you feel better towards your lack of judgement. “She cheated, you didn’t tell me. Why?”

Fred pauses, after what feels like a seconds he bends down on his knees in front of you while you watch him, engrossed.

“Been waiting for you to bring it up.” he chuckles, his smile disappearing in an instant. His ginger locks hang in front of you and you realize that his shampoo, like the rest of him, smells amazing. You fight the intense urge to card your fingers through.

“Merlin, I just,” he meets your eyes. “I felt ashamed.”

Suddenly standing up, your hands flail. “Why?”

Fred stands up as well. His stance alarms you, arms wrapped around himself, brows furrowed and defensive. “Not ashamed because of you, because of myself.”

You take a step forward when Fred indicates that he’s going to continue. “I thought you were going to judge me. Bloody coward, can’t even break up with his cheating girlfriend.”

You scoff, “Fred, I’ve known you since I was eleven. Sure we had some tough times but do you really think that low of me?”

Now he scoffs, it’s nothing short of mockery. “Tough times my arse. You avoided us like the plague, ____.”

“I had my reasons,” you raise your voice, wincing slightly and it only fuels Fred’s anger.

“Proper liar you are, you didn’t even write, or even just explain why you suddenly walked out.”

You don’t feel ashamed for what you did, it was for your own good. Though, Fred’s right. You never gave a proper reason other than those childish insults at Hog’s Head. But now, with your head banging, you can’t think logically.

“Again.” you grit your teeth, words spilling between like venom. “I had my reasons.”

Fred quickly stalks towards you, enough so you can reach a hand, grab his jaw and smash your lips against his. But you don’t. “Excuse me for not giving a rat's arse about your reasons, do you know how worried I was!”

His words pull a small gasp from your lips, you refuse to believe him. “If you were so worried, you could’ve spoken to me all those years. How about that summer huh? I stayed over.”

“But I did speak to you!” Fred shouts, and your fists clench. “You were a bitch to me, remember?”

Your groan is filled with contempt. “You take that back!” your fist lifts to smack him on the chest, and you curse his overwhelmingly hard and attractive biceps. Shit, you really shouldn’t be feeling like this during a fight.

“You wanna know why I did all that?” you cry out, tears ready to strain your cheeks but you won’t forgive yourself if you cried in front of him.

“Oh do tell?” he seethes, grasping your fist in a quick motion and holding it beside him before you can smack his chest again. “Merlin woman keep your-”

“Because I was in love with you, you dickwad!”

Fred freezes - second time that night.

Your heartbeat pounds against your chest, you feel vulnerable. Oh so vulnerable and stupid, you shouldn’t have said it.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You should have just kept your stupid mouth shut, dragged your stupid ass back home and took a stupid shower.

But it was too late.

Fred takes a slow step back, continued by several until he’s on the other side of the room with his arms propped against a wall, head hanging low. He’s breathing heavily, you’re finally crying.

“So you aren’t going to say anything?” you yell, stomping your heel on the ground. “Do you know how hard it was for me to watch you and Eva all those years, you wouldn’t even look at me.” you choke on your sobs, remembering everything. The painful memories, the emotions hit you like the Ford Angelia with Ron behind the wheels.

“The Yule Ball, I saw you two together. It hurt so much and I cou- umpfh”

You almost swallow your tongue.

Soft lips, those are the only words writing out in your mind. Fireworks erupting around the letters and causing shivers to run around your entire being. Taken aback, you can’t move until your mind processes that Fred Weasley is kissing you.

Fred groans, opening your mouth with his and grazing his tongue against your bottom lip. It’s so gentle that you doubt you feel it, until his hand grips the back of your head and presses you against him harder. Now you can taste the wet, warm feel of his tongue against yours, the certain flicks of the tip gracing your own.

He pulls back only slightly, panting against your lips and causing your breaths to intermingle intimately. “The Yule Ball,” he starts, going back in for another, hurried kiss.

“She told me, you - closer.” He yanks you in by your waist with his other hand, palm gripping your ass and kneading it with vigour.

“Told me she saw you with someone else,” he pulls you closer when your hands wrap around his shoulders. “It broke me ____.”

“Fred,” you sigh, gripping on his sweater tighter.

“That’s Freddie for you, love.”

Heat curls in your lower belly. His lips are on yours again, begging you for something you didn’t quite know yet. “Freddie,” you chant.

“That’s right.” he chuckles lowly, his rumbling voice against your chest.

You merely shiver, latch onto the tufts on his neck and anchor him lower to your lips until your lungs are overwhelmed with nothing but slow, languid kisses. Fred kissed really good - oh who were you kidding, he was the best kiss you’ve ever had. It’s addictively so, and you chase his lips when he pulls away.

“I,” he breaths, whispering. “I was so devastated by what Eva told me,” he hugs you tighter. “I loved - still love you so much, I didn’t know how to cope.”

“You love me?” Now, there’s more tears. You aren’t sure if they’re of pure joy, frustration or the ache between your legs. “For how long?”

“Since third year,” he murmurs against your cheek, breathing in your scent and shakily exhaling. “I still wear the bracelet, never took it off.”

“I saw,” you nuzzle your head in his chest, your heart feels like it’s about to burst. “It made me so happy, I thought you would have lost it by now or something.”

“Oh Flower, there you are hurting my pride again.”

The nickname knocks all the breath out of your lungs. You only hug him tighter, not daring to mention that throughout these years you flinched whenever someone said flower, or how you simply refused to visit any flower shop. Yes, it did cause problems during holidays and of course, funerals but at least your Disney gift cards contained sentiment.

“I wasn’t with anyone during the Yule Ball.” you mutter.

“I know.”

“Then why didn’t you come back?”

Fred shivers. “I didn’t know back then, Merlin if I had…”

“You’re an idiot.” you chuckle, hurriedly wiping away the drying tears from your cheeks.

“That’s right,” Fred rasps, pulling your face towards his. “I’m a stupid, stupid prat.”

That was, if the loud countdown roaring outside Fred’s bedroom door didn’t ruin the most pleasurable lips you were going to taste - yet again.

Your eyes widen, Fred whines and pulls you back into his arms but you’re already rushing to the closed door. “We’re missing the count down!”

“Oh come one,” Fred steps behind you, hand over yours to grip the knob. You struggle under his hold and try to turn it. “I’ll make you count, hop on the bed, love.”

You have to gulp down nothing but air to keep yourself at bay. God, yes, you would have shouted, stripped naked and let him have his way with you.

But you can’t, not with your friends right outside the door, slightly tipsy and merrily counting down from ten. Speaking of, they’re nearing seven - you have exactly seven seconds to push Fred off and throw yourself outside.

Six seconds until you turn the knob and ignore Fred’s protests, five until Harry and Ginny throw their arms around your shoulders, four until George decides not the comment on you and Fred’s flushed appearance, three until Fred does, two until you’re suddenly pulled forward - one, Fred’s kissing you in front of his friends and family.

Fuck.

It was that one, long second that Ron lets the confetti burst in utter silence while everyone stares at you. It’s a quick yet passionate peck - enough for couples to abandon their new year's kiss and focus solely on yours.

“Finally!” George yells.

Ginny cheers after his brother, “Took you ten bloody years!”

Last of the Weasleys, Ron, gapes. “When did that become a thing?” he mutters, completely oblivious but still happy nonetheless.

If Hermione and Ginny hadn’t swept you away, you would have spent your night glued to Fred’s side, demanding to show him off after all those years of pining.

Your two friends keep asking questions - not overly detailed considering Fred’s Ginny’s older brother. Your lips hurt from smiling by the end of your overly exaggerated story,

The end of the night brings tranquility over the apartment, after presents are ripped open and everyone says their goodbyes, you’re left alone the twins, helping them clean the flat with quick flicks of your wand.

Your watch reads one thirty, you need to leave soon. Aleyna and Blaise hadn’t shown, which only means the proposal was a success. You want to go home and congratulate them, but also spend some time with Fred.

Fred himself is busy wiping pint glasses and lining them neatly in empty cupboards. The both of you keep stealing glances at each other, and it would have been more romantic if George would stop scoffing whenever Fred bashfully smiled in your direction.

“____.”

You hum in acknowledgment, watching Fred’s back shuffle as he washes the dishes.

“Thanks for giving a hand, you didn’t have to.” George smiles kindly, hands tucked in his pockets.

You smile back, “Oh it’s alright.”

“I just wanted to apologize.” he looks down, it isn’t the dorky shyness George casually sports at times, he looks sorrowful.

“For what?” you ask, lips lowering into a frown to match his.

“For being a git all those years back. I was young and a shit head. I’m sorry.” he sighs, leaning his shoulder on the wall.

You chuckle, just the familiar voice of George resurfaces pleasant memories you wished you never forgot. “It’s alright, I’m over it.”

“Really?” he raises a brow. “Because I wouldn’t forgive myself personally. Go on, give me a smack or something.”

“I’m not smacking you George.” you say, you make sure your tone sounds playful to put his mind at ease. “We all had our issues, I probably should have talked to you guys instead of just storming off. Partly my fault.”

George smiles, “It wasn’t your fault, but I’m glad you can forgive me.” He squeezes your shoulder in a way to reassure you, while it feels like he needs it more. You nod fondly.

“And about Eva, we didn’t really like her, y’know. She told us that you needed space, and that we should leave you alone. Just now realizing how rubbish it sounds.”

“Took you long enough.”

He chuckles again, much more genuine like you prefer and pushes himself off the wall. “I better get some sleep,” he glances at Fred, “leave you two alone. And ____, please don’t distance yourself.”

“I won’t.”

Your lie slips so easily.

It’s the welcoming silence that accepts your doubts with open arms - everything was happening overwhelmingly quick, or was it just your fear of being left alone again?

You smile at George when he retires to his room, it’s more of a constipated grimace but George seems to have bought it.

You take this time to finally think, let your protective walls analyse what the fuck happaned in the last five hours because it was too good to be true. Fred couldn’t simply love you that easily, after everything he did. It didn’t explain why he started dating Eva without consulting you first, or how he was with her that night after the Yule Ball. If he loved you this much, why would he bury himself between her legs, abandon you in the hollow halls of Hogwarts? Why would he believe her so easily?

“____.”

Even his voice sounds distant. You can’t tell if it’s him speaking or your past.

“____, darling.”

Nope, that’s definitely Fred. His frustratingly sexy cologne is mocking you like every other amazing aspect this man has.

“Huh?” you snap out of your thoughts. “Oh, yes hello.”

Fred tilts his head to the side, expression softening the moment you speak. “You okay? Something on your mind?”

You tentatively shake your head. Fred sighs and reaches out to stroke your head - you close your eyes but the feeling of his calloused hands never show.

Eyes fluttering open, you realize your fears are coming true. He’s going to tell you that he changed his mind, that he doesn't love you and this is all a big mistake.

“Sorry,” he breathes, cheeks alight. You hold in your breath, ready to face the truth.

Fred’s silent; he’s doing that thing again. The thing where he somehow magically thinks he can communicate with you without saying anything.

“Fred,” you sigh, and his face drops. “Why did you date Eva if you loved me so much?”

There, you asked it. Because if you hadn’t, it would haunt you for the rest of your days, crawl around your heart like an infectious disease. You have enough of those, you don’t want another.

Fred breathing sputters, he looks at you like you know the answer. “Because…it was the closest thing to you I could have. I know it sounds awful-“

“Yes it does, and stupid!”

“I know!” he exclaims. “I didn’t know how to cope, she gave me the affection I longed to get from you.”

Your eyes start to swell, the sentence should make you remotely happy but it doesn’t. “Why did you stay with her for so long?”

“Look.” Fred cups your face, breathing heavily. “Yes, at first it was because I was petty. I thought you were with someone else that bloody night, I was heartbroken and needed a distraction. She was the closest thing.”

“That doesn’t explain the rest-“

“Let me finish!” He sounds earnest, adamant on wiping all your doubts and replacing them with nothing but his love. If only it was that easy.

“I can’t do this tonight Fred-“

“Please just call me Freddie.” he whimpers, kissing your cheek harshly. He stands there, face close to yours like if he let go you would leave.

I“I’m tired, I have a headache and my feet hurt.” you’re crying, again. Nothing out of the ordinary considering you’ve been doing it damn well for the last eight years.

“Stay over the night, it’s late. I’ll make you some chamomile, you always loved chamomile. Please.” Fred begs, lips against your cheek and you can feel the wetness of his own tears. His forehead presses against your temple. “Don’t leave me again.”

Your heart aches, it’s the most painful kind of hurt you’ve been dreading to feel again after all these years. This was worse than the neglect of your parents, the pain that night in the Burrow caused, watching Fred introduce Eva to his mother. This was why you’ve been avoiding him.

Because this time you know what to do, you know what’s for the best and it takes all of the protection you’ve built for yourself to push Fred off. Now, there’s none. Now, you’re standing before him, vulnerable and all your emotions on display.

“Goodnight Fred, merry christmas.”

This time, the door you walk out of feels much smaller and suffocating.

————

It’s ironic how the weather matches your mood for six days.

Saturday; clear skies with a blizzard hidden beneath the clouds. Aleyna’s engagement celebration. Show up with puffy eyes enough to make you blind, sit through nice dinner without crying, eventually start crying when she shows you the ring, act like you’re crying because you’re happy, get snot all over Aleyna’s ring, walk home while the storm finally presents itself and tells you that you’re a miserable piece of shit.

Sunday; small flurry. Spend your day weeping quietly and eating leftover takeout while browsing through your tv cable. Eventually watch a romantic movie, weep more.

Monday; cloudy, soft breeze. Cry more, hug your slightly overweight cat and get dragged outside by Aleyna because she figures out that you didn’t sob in front of an entire restaurant because your best friend was getting married. Sit at her bar, drink beer and stuff your face with cornish pasties while you tell her what happened, until you eventually pass out.

Tuesday; cloudy and dark. Spend your day thinking if you’ll ever be loved again. Regretful, pained, hungover and miserably under caffeinated.

Wednesday; crazy fucking blizzard that catches you so off guard you forget you ruined you chances with Fred Weasley for a moment. Aleyna tells you how stupid you are, you realize how stupid you are, then find out Aleyna is more of a snake than she lets on because she lets you eat a whole pack of doughnuts and that amazing Shepherd’s Pie her mom makes.

Thursday; clear skies. Not a cloud in sight. Your head is unusually clear, maybe too clear because you forget to feed Jambo and take out the trash. You think about running back to the joke shop, tell Fred you love him and that you don’t give a shit about the past anymore. But you don’t.

And now it’s Friday. You’re sitting on your bed, Aleyna in your closet, flinging clothes at you for you to try on because she insists you go out. It’s been a week since you walked out on Fred, again, and perhaps made the biggest mistake of your life.

“Stop wasting away your pathetic life here and do it outside!” she yells, voice getting closer when she comes into view.

“Aleyna, I’m really not in the mood.” you dismiss, laying back on your bed. “I just, should I go to him?”

Aleyna groans, pained. “Merlin forbid, this is the millionth time you ask me. I tell you yes, you don’t do it.”

“What if he says it’s too late, and it is! I don’t deserve-“

“Shut up. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. What matters is that you need to at least try.”

You need to at least try. Aleyna’s voice echoes around your head after she leaves and you're back to your routine. Get up, brush your hair because the tangles bother you more than you let on, (and sometimes your teeth, if you feel like it.) then stay in your pyjamas all day while lazing around your apartment. You’ve started making coffee for yourself again, which is a small step but still encouraging. Plopping down on your couch, you sigh. Jambo follows, leaving fur floating around the air in his wake.

Love To Love You Baby by Donna Summers plays softly in the background, your magic radio is mocking you yet again on how single and sad you are. Especially after how long it has been since you’ve had sex. It’s painful, but you can’t help but think of Fred whenever you try to at least relieve some stress. Of course, this ends with you curled in a corner and crying, it’s frustrating how much he turns you on, and now knowing you can never have him-

Jambo’s loud meow reminds you that you haven’t brushed him today and you slowly get up, striding to the kitchen. You try to relax your mind but your chest feels even tighter with your effort. Your house is an organized mess, you didn’t bother cleaning up throughout the stages of your grief.

You should talk to him. You should go outside, get fresh air, make out a game plan and at least talk to him. Fred’s kind, the funniest, most lovingly stubborn man you’ve ever met. He doesn’t deserve what you’re putting him through. You don’t want to leave things so bittersweet again, you want to keep seeing George, even Fred if time allows.

The pain of your past doesn’t allow you to follow your desires. You hate yourself for it and it’s only a matter of time before you break and go back to your old, quiet self. It’s as if the past got your wrists on lock, holding you back whenever you try to sprint free and love again. You thought Fred would have unlocked the chains and swept you away, but that was before you decided that he shouldn’t.

Gripping the fur comb on your left hand, Jambo watches you walk over to him with big eyes. He looks triumphant, lying on his chubby stomach and readying himself for the brush of his three year life.

Knock Knock

Perhaps this is why Jambo hates Aleyna. You chuckle. “Sorry Bo, give me a minute. She probably forgot her coat again.”

You put down the comb and rush over to the door. Not bothering to check through the peephole, you fling the door open while laughing. “Forgot your condoms or some-“

By the look Fred gives you, you’d think he hits it raw.

“Fred.” you whisper, frozen with your hand gripped on the handle.

He looks haggard, eye bags under his eyes with slightly damp hair sticking out obscenely from the sides. It looks longer, or perhaps it's the way he quickly runs a hand through it and smooths it back. You probably look no different, yet Fred still looks unfairly handsome, eyes dripping with honey and curved bottom lip tucked between his teeth.

Your heart hammers in your chest as you take in his appearance. He’s wearing a simple black pullover with a pea coat messily tucking in the material of his hoodie. You can see the after effects of the snow outside visible on his grey sweatpants, you can’t tell if he came to your house straight after working out for…however long he works out to have thighs like that.

“Can I-“ he gives you a look over and you blush. There’s a hundred different things you want to say, and you merely stay quiet and look at him with hopeful eyes. Coward. “Can I come in?”

You step aside wordlessly. He takes one, big step and he’s inside. Cursing his giant legs, you close the door behind him.

“Wow,” he clears his throat, looking around your apartment. “Nice place.”

“Thank you.”

Fred’s hand twitches when he hears your voice, as if he hadn’t heard it since he was a child. As if he was hearing it for the first time.

As soon as he steps in, his cologne engulfs the air around him - as if he’s marking himself in your house and leaving his delicious after taste. You would tell him he smells amazing but the air between you is too tense to say anything but;

“Fred I-“

“I wanted to-“

Fred breaks out into a smile, and you follow. It looks like a grimace, a hopeful one though. “I wanted to apologize.”

Your heart swells. You know it shouldn’t, because you don’t deserve an apology but the fact that he thought of you makes you feel like you have another chance. Of course you do, the poor man walked over to your house in the middle of a snowstorm. There’s got to be something there, right?

“Fred,-“

“No, let me finish this time.”

You stay silent.

“Been trying to think of the right ruddy words to say this past week but fuck that.” he growls, shrugging off his coat when you offer. “I’m not waiting any bloody longer.”

“I admit that at some point,” he starts, taking a deep breath. “I had feelings for Eva. That’s why I didn’t break up with her. It was well after three months of us dating and I thought I moved on.” you usher him to sit down, quickly following behind. Your legs feel wobbly as he continues.

“That’s why I didn’t break up with her, and I won’t deny that what I had with her was nice, but it wasn’t you. No one ever compared to you ____. I was fine until you decided to stop being our friend.”

“I didn’t decide that, It was something I had to do.” you defend fiercely, sitting next to him on the bar stool of your kitchen island. Damn rich apartments.

“I know that now, but at that time I thought you hated me. I clung onto Eva because I thought - seeing as she was your childhood friend - we’d be friends again.”

You scoff. “Look how that turned out.”

Fred raises a brow.

“Sorry, continue.”

“I started getting over it until that summer happened. It killed me to see you again, that’s when I realized I could never stop loving you. I blamed myself for everything, for fucking up all my chances even though I-“

You put a hand on his shoulder, “Freddie, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Fred pauses, squeezes your hand and gives you a wide, hopeful smile that punches you right in the heart. His head dips down to rest on your shoulder and he sighs. “You called me Freddie.”

“I did.” you smile.

“I wanted to talk to you, but you kept avoiding me. With the war and everything I just couldn’t, especially after that near death thing.”

“Near what?” You gasp.

Fred chuckles, as if it was no big deal. It makes your chest ache. “I got trapped under a wall, Georgie saved me. Owe him my bloody life. Took me sometime to get over it though, those were the times I needed someone the most.” he takes a deep breath before continuing.

“It was around those times that I found out Eva cheated on me. She was acting dodgy the past few months, and I feel awful for feeling relieved when we broke up.”

“But, that’s not your fault.” you sigh, hand caressing his back gently. He relaxes at your touch and a smile tugs at your lip at this. “You don’t owe Eva a damn thing. It’s okay to feel like that, because I do.”

Fred laughs, a small melodic sound that brings you pride that you pulled it out of him. “Oh, is that how it works now?”

“Yep, I said so.” you give him a toothy grin, and he chuckles, further causing your ruin.

But you can’t let things get too comfortable, not before you’re completely honest with him. Here he is, vulnerable and open, telling you his entire life story and you sure as hell are going to do the same - minus some embarrassing parts.

“Do you,” you clear your throat, awkwardly shuffling on your stool. The seat is uncomfortable and it makes everything all the more frustrating. “Do you want to know what I was thinking before you showed up?”

Fred pauses, gaze lingering over your face attentively. Breath catching, you let him look at you. Directly, fully look at you. He flushes, quickly hidden away by his hand when he nods his head slowly and leans on his palm.

“I was thinking of you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I was thinking if I should just go to you myself.”

Fred takes a quick breath. Shuddering because of the cold, surely, his tone is soft and barely above a whisper. “Why didn’t you?”

“I was scared you’d reject me. I was going to apologize to you, get on my knees and beg for forgiveness until you gave me a second chance.”

“Oh.”

You let him grasp your chin and turn your face towards his, he lovingly strokes your cheek, long finger somehow reaching easily. “I’m sorry Freddie, I love you.”

“I’ve waited to hear those words for so long.” his chest heaves when he responds.

“Well, how much of a let down is it?” you smile, nuzzling your hand in his palm.

He leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead, then to your cheek. “Let down?” he tells you, as if he heard the most obscene thing. “It’s so much better than I could have imagined, and I’m sorry too. I hate myself for letting you go through so much pain on your own. If I wasn’t such a clueless git I could’ve done this much earlier.”

“Do what?”

Fred kisses you. It’s not urgent, nor wanton, it’s soft and tender that still leaves you breathless. He leans his forehead against yours, and you ruin the kiss by smiling but he couldn’t care less. Opening your mouth, you let him flick your tongues together until it’s a sloppy, needy mess.

He groans, and that’s when you know the kiss progressed much too far to stop now. The needy ache between your legs pushes you to hover yourself over him, and his strong arms grasp you by the waist. His lips aren’t a perfect fit, it makes the kiss all the more pleasurable and it’s until he’s slowly walking towards your bedroom with your legs tucked around his hips that you break away.

“Fred,” you sigh when he sets you down against a wall. “I want you.”

He frowns, “It’s Freddie, how many times-“ he gathers your knee in one hand and pushes his crotch against your center with a grunt. “Do I have to tell you?”

You barely respond, clawing at his back. The curve of his thick cock gradually growing, his thighs encasing around your legs feels too damn good and you don’t know how long until you’re fully at his mercy. Fred roughly rolls his hips, a deep grumble leaving him and the stimulation is enough to make you whine. “Again,” you rock your pervis.

“Oh yeah?” he smirks, humping you harder. “You like this? How much? Let me feel.”

You rut against him desperately, trying to get off on the friction Fred barely decides to provide.

True to his word, Fred kisses you again with a groan, this time sparing you no tenderness and sucking on your bottom lip until it throbs. His hips continue to rut all the while his free hand slithers down your clavicle, down the sides of your waist - he makes sure to spread his palm wide to feel you everywhere - until he teasingly snaps the band of your pyjama bottoms. You yelp, relishing in his moans.

“If you like it so much- well shit.” his eyes flutter shut the moment he feels your slick from your underwear. “My love, you’re so wet that I bet I can taste you through your panties.”

If you weren’t wearing your yellow duck polka dot panties this would have been more sexier, and it takes Fred talking about eating you out to realize - oh my god, you’re wearing your duck panties.

“Fred, don-“

Fred has already pushed your bottoms down, revealing the abomination and further causing your face to feel hotter.

“Oh?” he smirks. “Sexy lingerie, all for me?”

You groan, hiding your face in his shoulder while he laughs at you. You feel his chest bob, and you can’t help but giggle alongside him.

“Now, strip.” he commands, and all the humor in the situation vanishes in an instant.

He lets go of your knee and you easily slip out of your bottoms, then slowly said polka dot panties. He grips your thighs, hoisting you up on his hips again and before you know it, he’s stumbling into your room.

His hand is cupping the back of your head, somehow gone there the moments he walked. You wouldn’t know, it’s hard to concentrate on anything else when the heat of his cock between your thighs feels like that.

Fred deposits you on the messily scattered forest you call your bed, and the smell of linen mixed with his cologne is enough for you to grind your hips on nothing.

Fred tuts, pushing a palm flat on your hip. He trails his hand between your legs and palms your pussy, bare. “Babe, you’re dripping. Since how long?”

You whine, “Since the moment you walked through - ah, my door.”

Fred’s eyes glaze over with nothing but dangerous greed. Dipping his knee on the mattress, he manhandles you into submission. “You think you can just get away with saying shit like that?” he groans, eyes fixating on wherever it lands on your body. It’s like he’s trying to take it all in, overwhelmed yet still wanton.

He shuffles to sit against your headboard and pats his large thigh, you waste no time crawling towards him. He quickly grabs your waist before you can approach him. Pulling you against him with your knees propped between his thighs, he’s face to face with your pussy and drooling.

“Such a sweet, pretty cunt.” he breathes, gently kissing your clit. You cry out, knees buckling but Fred’s large palms are flat on your ass and adamant on keeping you up and against his lips. Your center throbs, this is all you have ever wanted - the both of you have ever wanted and Fred has the audacity to tease.

“I know, I know.” He gently sushes. “I need to,” his head leans on your abdomen, desperate. “Need to get you ready for my cock.”

You barely nod, Fred seems to be in battle with himself. You don’t know which side wins, until he starts to suckle your clit with continuous, obscene kissing noises. You grip his shoulder, body bending in half. It feels so good, too good that you can’t hold straight. “Please - Fred,”

Gasping, your pelvis rocks forward. He keeps you still with his muscles digging in your hips, ass, back - everywhere he’s desperately roaming and memorizing.

His tongue finally darts forward - you knew that goddam tongue would be what did it - you nearly collapse, melting forward. It’s wet and warm and god - almost what you imagine his dick might feel like if it ever prods at your entrance.

He’s licking with bold, textured strokes. Your thighs are quivering, it’s the sudden brush of pleasure that meets your cunt every other second that causes this.

“Shit,” Fred pulls back, one hand holding your thighs wider. His thumb circles around your entrance and you cry out in pleasure. “My balls feel so fucking tight ____. If I keep this up, I might just come before I can put my dick in you.”

“Then - ahh Freddie!”

“Don’t get mouthy with me.” he smirks, sliding a finger inside. “I knew what you were gonna say before you opened that sweet mouth of yours.”

He fucks you like this, wet squelching noise mixing with your pants and moans. Working you open, Fred curls a finger inside and your thighs finally give out. “Merlin, you’re gonna get it,” he gives you a sweet kiss on the stomach. “I’m just as desperate to fuck you. Look,”

You do look, very gladly at that. He adds a second finger the moment your eyes fall on the wet patch of his bottoms. He’s rutting against nothing, all the while scissoring his fingers inside you - and from the look he gives you, you know he’s imagining what it's like to be inside you.

“Fred!” you gasp, rocking faster until your legs start to jerk and twitch. You don’t want to come yet, want to savor the way Fred’s fucking you with nothing but two fingers and it’s better than any sex you’ve had.

Your arousal pools between his fingers, dripping down his bracelet adorned wrist, all the way down to his veiny forearms. It’s a sight for sore eyes, Fred watches in a trance, gaze half lidded. You can see his cock twitch in his pants and he moans, “Fucking hell babe, look at the mess you’ve made.”

His thumb presses against your center with his two other fingers working, and he roughly drags it over to your clit to press. He’s licking again, slurping noises mixing with the pats of his tongue quickly dragging across your pussy.

That does it. Whining, and with quick breaths you hurtle towards such an intense orgasm that you swear you see Santa himself and his jingle fucking bells. It’s sudden and weakening, you barely register. Fred’s there all the while, desperately licking every drop of his hard work until there’s nothing. He groans and moans, like he’s having his thanksgiving now.

He’s not like a starved man, or any other cliche line you can think of. No, it’s like he has made a deal with the devil and is captured by the dark vitality of greed. He can’t stop, and merlin, do you not want him to.

“That was,” you breathe, taking a seat on his thigh when he allows.“That was the best orgasm I’ve had.”

“And that was the most gorgeous sight I have ever seen.” Fred smiles, it slowly turns into a smirk. The cocky bastard is way too proud of himself. He should be though, it’s been a while since you’ve had sex - if it always felt like this you would have never stopped.

But you know it never feels this good. No, it’s because of Fred. It’s him, and how much you love him, and how attractive he is - how skilled, amazing, passionate of a man he is. He’s perfect and way out of your league but you don’t care because he’s finally yours.

Said man is breaking out in a sappy grin, kissing your lips sweetly to whisper against them. “Get used to it.” He kisses you again. “I’m going to make you come again, and again, and again until you can’t walk.” he’s lowering you down onto your back, hands caressing your thighs.

“Really?”

“Especially now that I know how sweet and tight you are,“ Fred runs a finger through your pussy and you whimper. “How amazing you smell,” he dips down to lazily suck a hickey on your collarbone. “How soft your skin is,” his hands are lifting your waist up to unhook your bra. “How much I’m in love with you.”

Your gaze softens, and you let him undress you, bra after shirt until you’re left bare beneath. He shivers, his eyes are darting everywhere, to the curve of your hips, up your stomach - and finally, the slope of your breasts. He sucks in a breath. “You,” he rasps. “You had this bikini, that summer.”

“Wha- which one?”

“The white one.”

Your eyes widen. “Oh.”

“We all loved that bikini, especially the days when the lake was particularly cold. Your nipples would be crystal fucking clear.”

You should feel embarrassed, fuck you really should but you knew what you were doing when you bought that bikini. That doesn’t stop you from acting clueless though, “Fred you big oa - oh!”

Fred dips to suck on your nipples, mouth wide open and hungry. “From that day onward, I fucking knew your tits were amazing.” he groans, gazing at them for a moment. “ Shit, was I right.”

You feel his clothed cock rub against you as he speaks - and it finally becomes a problem.

“A-ah, Fred. Clothes,” you barely gesture, though Fred understands you quickly. Sitting back on his heels, he swiftly removes his hoodie overhead.

Of course he isn’t wearing anything underneath.

Of course he has abs.

You curse under your breath - Fred’s chest is well defined, as you expected it to be. Well toned pecs, pert nipples hard and on display, golden skin stretching over his abdomen and six pairs of muscles you’d like to mark. He’s lean yet buff, corded well with muscle and now you know where those enthusiastic years of Quidditch have gone into

You reach for his arm, Fred quickly obliges and lets you guide his palm flat on your body. You breathe heavily - you love how you're he’s feeling you up like this. His hand lands on your breast, and he gives it a rough squeeze before rolling off the bed to get out of his bottoms.

“Are you trying to kill me, doing that? Huh?” he rasps, stumbling slightly. He swings his socks somewhere and gets back on the bed. “Is that what you want?”

When you don’t respond, he chuckles. Slowly, he pushes down his boxer briefs. It’s teasing, this motion. But then again, everything about Fred Weasley is.

His cock slaps against his abdomen - that’s how big it is. You feel yourself salivate, pupils expanding at the thought of such a thick, attractive cock inside you. You almost jump forward and sit on it but when you see the angry red color of his cock, the twitching of his head and the pre-cum that drips, it becomes clear how much he has been holding back.

Fred grips his cock and the head gushes slightly, you feel your cunt flutter. “Come here.”

You let him grip your body and settle you on his lap, entrance inches away from the head of his cock. You’re making eye contact, it’s almost intimidating how intense his gaze is. On your heat, breasts and fucked out face. “Merlin, I’ve been dreaming about this for fucking years. Let me,” he breathes. “I should just take a picture and stare at it all day.”

“Why take a picture when you have the real thing.” you smirk slightly.

Fred groans, “Ohh, you’re such a good girl.”

You smile, “Freddie, please get a condom. Flattery won’t get you that far.”

“Damn it.” he smiles jokingly, reaching for your night stand.

“Wait, shit.” you get off his lap and down your bed, legs wobbling a bit as you stride towards your dresser with hurried steps. Fred whines when you leave but you pay him no mind. “Been a while, here.”

Grabbing the pack, you stumble back on the bed and sit on your knees.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Fred nods his head. “Put it on, baby.”

You rip the packet open and slowly roll it on him, his cock is already wet and glistening enough for it to be quick. Your center pulses with want as you do this.

Fred pushes you down and crawls on top, centering his cock with your entrance. “No more,” he grunts. “Gotta have you now.”

Gasping, you feel him rub against you. He continues to tease, until the tip of his cock finally pushes past.

You cry out and glance down at where his cock bulges, it’s a type of pain you’d love to feel everyday. “A-ah Fred!”

“I know baby,” he whines, pushing further in with a quick thrust. He strokes slowly to work you open. You cry out, arousal gushing out.

“Such a sweet pussy, taking all my cock so well.” he kisses your jaw, feathering his lips around your throat and lazily sucking. “Feel so good.”

It’s true, it feels so fucking good that you can’t hold in your moans anymore. Not that you were trying to, but the desire to chant his name becomes reality when he rolls his hips against your center. He’s so close to bottoming out and the woozy cloud floating in your head grows. “Oh my god, don’t want you to stop.”

The stretch feels so good that you can’t help but clench around him, pain jerking your hips up.

Fred's balls deep in, his chest heaves and his eyes squeeze shut for a moment. He pauses, letting the two of you adjust to the euphoric feeling of his cock inside. ”Why the fuck would I wan’t to stop?” Your insides are throbbing, and you find yourself arching your back every time he gives you a sweet kiss on your chest. “Why would I ever stop. Shit, baby, I love you.”

“I love you too - oh!”

Fred withdraws, then slams into you with such vigour that you scream. Another shameful flow of your juices gush out as pleasure rips through you. He continues this, another harsh thrust into your cunt that makes you arch in pleasure. “Freddie!”

“Just like that.” he grunts, rolling his hips. “Love when you call me that.”

His hand hooks your leg around his waist, and he speeds up his motion, soothing the needy ache you feel.

lt’s dizzying, how good he can make you feel. Like you’re the center of the universe and all that matters is Fred fucking you open with sweet, yet untetheredly rough thrusts. It’s scary how lost you can get in him, and it becomes haunted when he captures your lips in a kiss and lifts your leg up on his shoulder.

“You’re so tight, oh fucking hell. Look at you, my goodness you’re absolutely perfect.” he murmurs against your lips, muting your moans.

“Fred! Oh god - ah!”

Your cries egg him on, he’s ruthless with the way his fingers dig in your ass to slam into you faster. The angle, his thick cock, how he’s biting down on your lower lip, you can barely take in. You feel helplessly at his mercy, and soon he’s fucking you too hard to keep kissing. “Easy, baby,” he coos when you squirm underneath him. “I’ve got you - my sweet little flower. Feel good?”

The question itself is clearly hysterical, your pleasure is etched on to your face and your thighs quiver underneath him. His mouth hangs open, eyes droopy, yet he still wears that infuriatingly attractive smirk. “Yes! Feel so good - ah you cocky bastar - umpfh!”

He drapes your other leg over his shoulder, your breasts bounce as his thrust turns more languid. Your back arches, mouth hanging open. “Oh my god - Fred!”

It feels so fucking good like this, so deep and good and - fuck, everything else other than him becomes a distant memory.

“Ahh - shit baby. Doing so good,” he grunts, his moans turn more high pitched when you meet his thrusts halfways. “Drown me baby, my flower takes me so well,”

Fred’s hand curls around the mattress as his other grips your thigh. He slams into you, stretching you out so good that your orgasm builds rapidly within. With your legs draped over his shoulder, he bends forward further until he’s sucking in your chest and leaving red marks. “OH - Freddie,” you whine, clawing at his back.

“That’s it my love,” he croons, head thrown back yet still adamant on watching you. His hands tangle in your hair, carding through and gripping them hard. “Come on my cock - make a mess of your sheets. Doing so well for me, wanna feel you clench around me.”

His face contorts in pleasure when your cunt does clench, hair draping over his eyes to cover his glazed, blown out pupils. Fred reaches between your legs to sweetly thumb your clit, squeezing it between two fingers and it’s the final straw until you break.

You arch in pleasure, shuddering violently underneath him. Fred’s letting you ride it out, finally gasping and his hands clench around your thigh and the mattress. Your hand finds his, interlacing your fingers together as you messily grind your hips and finally come down. Ropes of hot cum fill the condom around your sensitive walls. You tighten, aching a little from the warmth that you can’t feel directly from the plastic barrier.

Fred collapses on top with panting breaths. His head rests in the crook of your neck, arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

“Well shit.”

“Yeah.” you chuckle breathily. The post orgasm clarity makes you realize; fuck, I love this man way more than I let on. You suddenly feel the need to show him, and yet you settle for tenderly brushing his hair back when he lifts his head.

Fred smiles, grin lazy and sappy. After pecking your lips, he slowly pulls out. You whine from the sudden coldness when he rolls out of your arms, then he grins at your noise of distress.

“Hold on love, be right back.” Fred pulls off his condom, ties the top and tosses it to the trash before collapsing next to you - way more dramatically. His arm drapes over you, pulling you to his chest and pressing a kiss on your forehead. “I love you.”

You sigh, content. “Love you too,” you smirk. “Would love you more if you cleaned me up.”

Fred’s eyes flash dangerously. “Oh?”

“Not like that you idiot!” you smile, gently slapping his chest. “Swish your wand or something, I don’t wanna get up.”

“Hm,” he taps his chin. “Give me a tour of your apartment and I’ll think about it.”

You sigh, propping yourself on your arms. Fred whines and tries to pull you back in but you don’t relent. “Alright alright.”

Rolling off the bed, you rush to the bathroom, ignoring the pulsing soreness in your core. “Wha - come back! What about my tour?” Fred yells after you.

You laugh at his eagerness. “You’re not getting it!”

After cleaning yourself up, you practically hurl yourself in his arms. Fred catches you with something between a grunt and a chuckle, leaning against the headboard and letting you rest your head on his chest. Your eyes lull around, begging to give into your exhaustion. “Close your eyes, flower,” he whispers sweetly, gently running his hands across your hair and massaging your scalp.

The snowstorm outside has gotten intense, the wind howls against your sealed windows yet the world feels much brighter from this morning. It’s hard to focus on anything besides the way your heart flutters, and the feel of Fred beneath you. Snuggling closer, his fingers gently trace around your shoulders.

“Freddie?” you murmur, cheek pressed against his chest.

He hums in response.

“You’re staying over, right?”

Fred peers down at you, his brows are etched together and the concern on his face nearly makes you sob. “Do…do you not want me to?” he answers shakily.

You let out a breath. “Of course I want you to!”

“Good.” he smiles, letting out a bigger breath than you. For a moment, you think you broke the man. “Because you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

[miraculous-anna]

Opposite Day (Or DuPont’s Worst Nightmare) Part 2: electric boogaloo

Hello Everyone!! The title is a joke, i promise! I saw a chance, and i took it lol. Anyway, In this part, we’ll be focusing on Lila a little bit, and the class focusing on everything Marinette said to them, and having a couple heart to hearts :) Just an FYI, the taglist is still open! And if you wanna be tagged, send me an ask and i’ll put you on the list! 

Just a tip lmao: To really get a feel on how i interpret the mood of this chapter i recommend listening to this piano cover of knee socks by Arctic Monkeys, it made me cry :,)

Okay, on to the story! 

___________

Original Post  /  Previous  /  Next  /  Masterlist 

Footsteps echoed through the halls of DuPont Highschool, going straight towards the bathrooms. I have to make this right! She has to still be there! I have to apologize, come clean, tell her I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to go this far. But i was too stubborn, I let it get out of hand.  

Lila raced to the bathroom, only find it was empty. “Dammit! Of course it’s empty!” She cursed, closing the door and going back down the hallway. Lila grabbed her phone, checking the time, and decided on another idea. Perfect, I can’t back out of it this way. 

 Lila ran towards the library, her backpack slung over her shoulders. Finding a table in the library, Lila sat down, and dug out her notebook. Picking out a pencil, she flipped open a page and got to writing. I have to explain, I need her to understand, and fast. 

After a good 30 minutes of writing, Lila grabbed her things, racing towards the front of the school. Sprinting down the steps, she ran toward the cross walk to get to the side of the road, and after looking both ways, ran towards a very familiar and well known building. With determination in her eyes, She pushed open the door, hearing the bell jingle, alerting an older woman of her presence. The older woman smiled, and greeted her. Lila noticed the bakery was very empty at the moment. 

“How can i help you, dear?” The woman asked, walking away from the counter. Lila took that as a sign to walk towards her. Walking up to her, with around 6ft between them, Lila took a deep breath.

Suddenly feeling nervous, her mouth goes dry. “Uhm, excuse me..” Lila’s words got caught in throat before the guilt came crawling back in waves. She swallowed, and repeated herself. “Excuse me, ma’am? I.. I need to speak to you.” The woman tilts her head in confusion, a smile still present on her face. “Well, of course, what is it? I’m Sabine, by the way.” 

Lila would be lying if she said she wasn’t shocked that Sabine, Marinette’s mother, didn’t recognize her. Surely, Marinette had told her parents about Lila? Just how much was she keeping to herself? 

With a shake of her head, Lila decided to say her name. “I’m Lila, Marinette’s..” Lila cleared her throat. “Uhm.. Marinette’s classmate. I need you to give this to her, later tonight. Please, after school is over, and she’s home.” Handing a letter to her, Lila balled her fists at her sides. Straightening her posture, Lila looked Sabine in the eyes, and said, as confident as she could manage, “I made some mistakes, and my apology is in that letter. I need her to read it at exactly the right moment. Your daughter didn’t deserve any of the things that happened. I’d appreciate it, if you’d comply with my request.” Finishing her plead, Lila took a deep breath, and blinked repeatedly to rid of the tears, and the burning sensation behind her eyelids. 

“Of course! I’ll give this to her tonight. I’m glad you’re coming clean, Lila. It’s very mature of you. Would you like something from the bakery?” Sabine tucked the letter away in her apron, and gestured towards the glass cases showing the baked goods they had on display.”Uh,” Lila started, reaching into her pocket. Feeling her money pouch with her allowance she kept hid, She nodded her head. “Yes, please. Question, though.” 

‘Yes, Lila?” Sabine asked, smiling again. “Which ones did Marinette make?” Lila scanned the room, searching for the macaroons the baker’s daughter was famous among the class for bringing. Sabine pointed towards different colored macaroons and chocolate covered croissants in a display cased with a sign on it called, “Marinette’s specialty baked sweets!”

Pulling out her pouch, Lila remembered just how much was in the pouch, and asked for as much as what was in there could get her. Sabine looked shocked, once again. “Are you sure, this is a lot.” Nodding her head, Lila pleaded for the second time that day. “Please, please make sure that money reaches Marinette. Consider this apart of my apology. It’s the least I could do, honestly.” Nodding her head, Sabine accepted the money, and assured the girl the money would reach her daughter. 

Leaving the bakery with goods in hand(s), Lila sighed, hoping her plan would work. I just hope I don’t try to back out of this when i’m back to normal, I can’t afford to. 

_____

Sighing, Alya scratched her head. Nino looked over at her, “Something wrong, Alya?” Messing with her hair, Alya groaned, “No, Nino, everything’s peachy!” “Sorry, Alys, dumb question.” Nino said, sheepishly. “It’s fine, i just can’t stop thinking about everything Marinette said.” Alya confessed, alerting the rest of the class. “Honestly, none of us can. What she said really hurt, but she did bring up a few good points.”  

“Oh, really? Like what, Nino?” Alya glared, crossing her arms. “Well, We did ignore her for the past month in favor of Lila...” Rose pitched in, sadly. “Yeah, and she doesn’t like Adrien, definitely. I’ve been hanging out with him all month, frequently, and she hasn’t talked, texted, even seen Adrien all month.” Nino explained, He shrugged, “ He even complained how everyone but Marinette talks to him. He says he doesn’t know what he did, but he thinks she’s been avoiding him.” 

“Where is he, anyway?” Alix asked, noticing the resident “sunshine boy” wasn’t present. “It IS lunchtime, Alix. His dad probably wanted him home or something.” Ivan replied, shrugging his shoulders. Alya placed her head in her hands, clearly frustrated. “I don’t get it. Am I a tabloid reporter? Surely, everything Lila says is the truth! She wouldn’t lie like that.” Mostly everyone was murmuring among themselves, mostly agreeing with her. 

“If you think Lila wouldn’t lie, then what about Marinette?” 

Silence. Alya surveyed the room. Who had said that? She spotted Nathaniel in the back, staring right at her. He spoke again. “Why is Marinette different then Lila? We’ve known her longer  than Lila, she’s never given us reason to doubt her before, and Marinette hates liars just as much as Ladybug hates Hawkmoth.” Nathaniel continued to stare right at Alya, knowing she was one of the main accusers, if not the only one. “Well, you know Marinette acts crazy and kinda stalker-like when she gets jealous-” Alya tried to explain. 

“But who is she jealous of? You heard her scream it right in your face. She isn’t jealous of Lila, so yeah, Alya, why would Marinette lie? Did you even check if Lila was telling the truth?” Alix, of all people had decided to speak up. She narrowed her eyes at Alya, deciding to perch like a gargoyle on her desk. Everyone had to admit, it was slightly intimidating.

“Alix? Why are you defending her? I mean, we get Nathaniel, he liked her at one point, but you?” Kim asked, shocked, and very confused. "Because I realized Lila's lies were hurting Marinette a couple weeks ago. Dont you remember? I stopped hanging out with the girls whenever Lila was there." Alix explained, rolling her eyes. Before anyone could say anything to Alix, someone walked in.

In all her glory, there stood Lila.

The class was silent, as they watched her walk to the middle of the room. "I need to speak to all of you, and it's important that you listen to what I have to say while my personality is reversed."

Everyone murmured in shock. Lila knew she was acting different? Everyone quieted back down, and Lila started speaking again. "Over the past month, since I came back, I've been lying to you all. I said that I did all these great things, met all these people, went places. But I lied."

Lila spoke before anyone could say anything in response. "Before you assume why I did these things, I want you to know, that I didn't do them cause I wanted friends, its an entirely different reason that I'm not gonna tell you, until I tell Marinette, cause she deserves to know the truth first. After everything I've done," Lila continued her monologue, taking a deep breath. "Of course, it still doesn't excuse my actions for lying, but one thing I don't get, is why you all believed me. I've been to 5 different schools, counting this one, and none of them except you ever believed my lies. I don't get it."

“Well, we accept your apology Lila. We’re glad you came clean.” Alya spoke up, finally. It was clear she was taking this whole thing the hardest. “Wait, then we really did hate Marinette for no reason!” Mylene cried, her hands flying up to her mouth. Rose gasped, and teared up. “You’re right, oh no..” Juleka hugged Rose, who was now crying. 

“I don’t get that either. Yes, I was hard on her, but i never expected you to believe Marinette, the class president, the goody-two-shoes of this school would bully me.” Lila spoke up again. “At least you know what you did.” 

And with that, she left. Where, no one knew.

“We have to apologize to her. Immediately.” Alya cried, running out of the classroom, desperate to find her ex-best friend. The girls of the class ran after her, minus Alix. “You guys can apologize to her once the girls are done. I feel like bombarding her at once will be a bad idea. The girls ran out before I could say anything to them.” Alix sighed, jumping down from her desk. Holding her hands behind her head, she walked out with Nathaniel beside her. 

____ 

Arriving at the bakery, Alya opened the bakery door, and the rest of the girls present followed after. “Mlle. Cheng! Where’s Marinette? We need to speak to her, like right now!” Alya pleaded, her words coming out in a frenzy, and very rushed. Sabine looked slightly shocked, and surprised. “I’m afraid Marinette hasn’t been home since this morning, girls. She told me she wasn’t going to be home for lunch because she was meeting up with a friend of hers. I’m sorry, girls.” Sabine gave them a pitying look, turning away to tend to the customer in front of her. “Dammit! Where could she be?” Alya groaned, leaving the bakery with everyone following behind her. “Who knows? Wait, she mentioned a friend?” Rose asked. Everyone nodded, before Rose turned to Juleka. “What about your brother?! They’re friends, aren’t they? You did mention they hang out a lot!” Rose squealed excitedly, as Juleka nodded. Alya grabbed Rose’s shoulders and shook them excitedly, exclaiming, “Rose! You’re a genius!” 

“Look! It’s Ladybug!” A bystander cried, pointing to the sky. Everyone watched in admiration and awe as the spotted heroine swung over the city, her feline partner not far behind her. 

______

Welp, that’s it for this chapter!! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Remember, if you wanna be tagged, just send me an ask, and i’ll get right to it! :) 

Also! If you have any questions about the stories, me, or anything in general, feel free to ask! I love hearing from you guys, It makes me extremely happy! I’ll be happy to answer anything.

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[jazajas]

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

[spookyc]

*spoilers for heathers the musical and danganronpa 2 goodbye despair*

*tw for mentions of death and suicide*

Okay so I know it's been a minute since I've posted anything substantial so here's this:

I've got an heather's au for dr 2 that id like to share. Its not a completely fleshed out one but I have a good idea of most of the main characters in the story. So the easy choice would just be to make hajime, veronica, and make nagito, JD. Especially nagito for jd with the whole, well, bomb thing as well as them both being mentally unstable and having rough childhoods. Hajime fits the role of veronica because, like veronica, he wants to fit in and not be ostracized constantly. More specifically though, it would help him become confident, which is literally his whole arc in the second game. The heathers and the rest could then be determined by a lot of different characters and so on and so forth. I respect this interpretation and it does make a lot of sense, however, I would like to propose my own interpretation.

Let's start with the two main characters, veronica and jd. So for my au, I have decided that fuyuhiko will be veronica and peko will be jd. Let's start with my choice for jd. So, after my binge of the second game's playthrough, I remember that one night I was listening to heathers, specifically the song, our love is god. And as I listened I realized how similar peko and jd actually are. Now to preface, I'm not saying jd and peko are the same character, jd attempted to bomb an entire school and peko simply made the calculated decision to kill in order for fuyuhiko's safety to be assured.

What i am saying though, is that jd and peko's thought processes are very similar, and if peko was just a tad more unhinged, they would be hard to distinguish. How are they similar? Well, first you have the whole, "I worship you" mentality. Now, peko doesn't necessarily kiss the earth that fuyuhiko walks upon but this could be connected more to their actual relationship. That of a master and his servant. I servant must serve, much like a believer would to a god.

And right after that line jd says, "Id give my life for yours." Which peko literally does in the canon story, she gives her life in order to save fuyuhiko, and even protects him with her body in her own execution. Secondly, they both are delinquents, or socially awkward. They are both standoffish and seen as intimidating by others, and they both don't exactly know how to communicate well. Thirdly, they have somewhat similar backgrounds. Jd lost his mother, and peko is an orphan, they both know what its like to not live with parents, or at least not favorable parents. For example, peko had to constantly interfere with mr. and mrs. kuzuryu fighting to insure fuyuhiko's safety. And jd and his father have a tenuous relationship, with jd's father mostly being a near non-present force in his life. Additionally, im sure the leaders of a yakuza clan weren't exactly doting parents.

And lastly, their mutual feelings of self worth, or more so, the lack of it. Both jd and peko believe their lives to be meaningless without the existence of their veronicas. The only good things in their lives are their veronicas, and they would do anything to hold onto that happiness, even if it resulted in their deaths. But enough about jd and peko, what about fuyuhiko? This may seem like an odd choice and solely made on the prospect that jd is peko, but that isn't exactly the case.

While yes it seems unlikely that fuyuhiko would bother himself with the heathers, or even have a martha, i think it fits more as a visual metaphor of his character growth shown in the game. Its just that in this au, he's a popular dick that learns to be a better person after his gf dies, which is almost what happens in the actual game, minus the popular part. But mostly I'd like to tie in fuyuhiko's role as veronica when it comes to jd. This is where the similarities really start to shine. This is shown mainly in the song, seventeen, where veronica yearns for a normal relationship and to just be normal kids that aren't surrounded by murder. Sound familiar? Well it should, that's literally fuyuhiko's whole speech near the end of chapter 2.

I doubt this needs repeating since this scene is the equivalent of the g note in the dr fandom but for the sake of the argument I will go on. Fuyuhiko in his parting words says this, "You didn't need to be a tool, you just needed to be yourself." And, "I never wanted a tool, I just wanted you....Only you." Which is him saying, "Peko I don't what you to serve me, I don't want this kind of relationship. I just want you to be yourself, and I wanted you for you, not to be a tool for murder." Which could then easily be implied that he doesn't want to murder anyone anymore. This is a near exact mirror of the feelings expressed by veronica in seventeen.

Sure im probably looking into things a bit, but still fuyuhiko's speech near the end of ch. 2 and veronica's feelings in seventeen share a lot of similarities. Both veronica and fuyuhiko simply want to have a normal relationship with their respective partners, but this ultimately fails because their partners worshiped them and this fatal misunderstanding would lead to their deaths. As for the others, I don't have nearly as deep anlaysises of them and I don't have all the characters but I'll briefly discuss my choices for the heathers, kurt, ram, and martha. Also, this is purely in the universe of dr 2, so possible better choices for characters in other games would not be possible in my au.

So heather chandler is the ultimate imposter, this was a pretty obvious choice, while the UI isn't quite as big of a dick as byakuya he's still a jerk, but more importantly, just like in the game, he is a great leader for the heathers and without him the other two descend into chaos. Now this pick is gonna be a strange one but I will explain. I chose mikan to be heather duke. Now I know yall may find that to be an unfitting choice but I personally chose mikan to be heather duke mainly for the shine a light reprise. This is because I chose heather mcnamara to be hiyoko.

Most of the other girls also didn't fit this role, akane would be hard to see as any of heathers and I also think she's far too carefree to urge someone to commit suicide. Ibuki is completely out of the question, and considering how her death looked in the game it would be quite ironic as well. Chiaki also wouldn't make sense for obvious reasons. Mahiru also would obviously not make sense either and she's already a choice for another character anyway. And lastly, sonia wouldn't fit either. I could see her having a secret nasty side but I dont think she would tell someone to commit suicide and she also was always kind to hiyoko even when hiyoko lashed out at others.

And just to cover my bases, I don't think any of the boys would fit either. Maybe kazuichi or nagito but kazuichi is too much of a pussy and nagito would be more likely to say that stuff about himself rather than direct towards anyone else. Heck I could also even consider that after the ultimate imposter dies that's when mikan reverts back to her personality as the ultimate despair, so instead of her reverting because of some disease it would be at the death of her "friend" and the role of leader getting into her head. This would then influence her to tell hiyoko to commit suicide, causing peak despair and blah blah whatever. Hiyoko as heather mcnamara was a pretty easy choice thanks to lifeboat, it also especially fits if you consider hiyoko's backstory. She's the sole daughter of the saionji family, which is a very prestigious family in dr. This along with her talent as a dancer means that she is held to a much higher standard than other kids of her age and that she goes through constant pressure each day due to this standard.

"If I say the wrong thing, or i wear the wrong outfit, they'll throw me right over the side." This is what hiyoko has to deal with on a daily basis from her family as well as her fans. She also could likely be projecting this fear onto the other students. Alright, last three. For kurt and ram, I chose mahiru and sato and if you want my honest opinion it's literally just because peko gets to kill them both in our love is god and that's pretty much canon in the actual game. I say pretty much because, technically fuyuhiko is the one that kills sato but this is an au and that's honestly a pretty minor fix.

Lastly, I haven't thought a lot about martha's role in this au, but if I had to choose it would most likely be kazuichi, he fits as the social outcast and especially as the frequent punching bag for the heathers, especially considering that hiyoko is among their ranks. And that's about it for my dr heather's au! This post definitely went on longer than I intended but I had fun with it and I think you guys deserve a lengthier post since I haven't made as many actual posts besides birthdays in a hot minute. Let me know what yall think of this, and if you'd like to hear me infodump about more of my dr aus or thoughts than I would be happy to oblige.

[kyokyo866]

I hope you don’t mind me asking. My friends are wanting to create Fauchereves for a good while, but they don’t know much about the lore. They would like to know as much as they can so they can accurately create the Fauchereves.

Sure thing! Uuuuh, not sure where to start, time to word vomit!

Their hairs always white, mostly because of the lack of pigmentation in it, however they CAN dye it with stuff they find. Mud, Berries, Blood, ya know whatever. For a hunter that can be common to color it for camouflages, but usually they like to keep their white hair showing so they can recognize each other from a distance

Theyre very much pack beasts, they always have a tribe and its kinda rare (and not good for them) to be out on their own. Very social beasts are they, so much so they dont mind having other creatures join their group or even adopt pups of other species if found abandoned.

That said theyre very nomadic, they got that wanderlust and the want to experience new things. So usually theres at least one big travel in a fauchereves life before they decide where they want to settle down if they want to. They usually head to a new place, establish a community, then when its fully figured out, whoever wants to keep going can keep going and those who want to stay behind can

Their tails have a glowy fur fiber on them, but when they have a mate for life, its a mating ritual to comb/pull out those fibers (something about the other being their light in their life) its more tradition than anything, but held very sacred. so if theres a fauchereve with still a tail glowing but has a pup, mmm theres gonna be some discrimination of them being very irresponsible. UNLESS they adopted the kid cuz parents are gone, then its like ‘oh dang that sounds hard lets help you with that-’. Not even these beasts are immune from discrimination

Their eyecolor gambit runs usually  from grey to blue, theyre not the most colorful things out there. Which is where their clothes can usually show that off instead, known for being very heavily patterned

All of them have cheek marks with different symbols on them. Thats their name as it were. Fauchereves tend not to have names, usually if you talk to a crowd and be like ‘HEY YOU’ the one youre talking to’s ears will twitch and be like ‘what me?’ but if youre talking about them while theyre away from you, youd usually call them by their cheek from left to right, like Diamond-Star or Circle-Tear. Saying their ‘name’ to them to their face is the same effect of your mom calling you by your full name when youre in trouble. Doesnt feel very good.

That said about the symbols, theyre inherited from your parents. Your left from your mother and your right from your father. Yea sometimes that means some people have the same combos but hey, so do normal names sometimes. But another difference is they have different color tints as well, again running the gambit from black to blue. So while two people might have Diamond-Circle, one could have a grey diamond and a white circle while the other has a white diamond and a blue circle. When you have a mate, there’s a chance of the marks altering (people think its due to the mating ritual of tearing out the fur fibers does something to them) where they equal out to each other. Such as, one black symbol and one white symbol, post mating ritual theyre both grey. It’s a strange phenomenon that they dont entirely understand, but some of them see as like, physical evidence like a wedding ring that theyre the same color. Course sometimes ya just have the same color, that happens sometimes, but still.

Their hair are like horses in that it grows from the spine, like a mane, however the difference is it goes aaaallll the way from their head, down their spine and down their tail. Usually the tail hair doesnt grow as fast but it can if you dont cut it for like 100 years. So if you want you want a nice haircut, best groom wisely. You can still shave your head and yet still have a long spine mane since its not all connected to the head. Common practice in hunters is to keep the spine mane very short or shaved down so predators cant have something to grab on to, but leave short hair on top to still show themselves fellow fauchereves to their group

All of them have sharp black claws they can grow out willingly, for a normal fauchereve its not much, but for hunters theyre trained to grow them very fast. One of the signs as a pup they have a good chance to be a hunter.

Ah yes, tribe functions speaking of. There’s usually an Elder (despite the name, sometimes the elder can be younger than a lot of the others, just means leader) who’s the leader, duh, the Hunters who go out and get the food along with keeping the peace amongst the tribe (so kinda the police should need be), the caretakers who watch over the pups and the sick, the tailors who go find stuff around to make clothes, furniture, whatever supplies (their most popular and important job is the clothes though so thats why their title is tailor and not seamstress, also guys can have it too), and while those are the most important roles, there can be other roles depending on the tribe such as cooks, beast tamers, general sales, magic users, so on and so forth. Magic users is a rare role, but one that is very good. Not all fauchereves are equal, some have more talent than others in some categories. Take Reve, he has a huge gift in shapeshifting, something that cant be so easily done with normal fauchereves, so hed be considered a magic user. Some other magic user traits can be learning an element, being SUPER smart like, hyper intelligence, portal making, and so on. 

That said, if Reve was in a tribe and never was abandoned, he would have been a caretaker in his tribe. His dad was a hunter and his mom was a tailor. that’s where his hats from, from his mom and from her mom and her mom and so on. A family heirloom of tailors as it were. I guess he broke the cycle in more way than one.

Thats all i can think of on the top of my head, if you have any more feel free to send it my way!

[lilgurlwithcomplicatedfeels]

Emotions pt 2

This is the extension of when my sister moved out. We had a small group of friends who lived nearby, and we would visit them occasionally. Lets call these people "Family B" So we'd visit them every once in a while, and my sister would always chat with family B and very often go and sleepover with them. Remember, she was still struggling with depression. One day, my mom goes out with our grandma in london. She desperately needed a break, and little did I know. My sister had decided to go to a party against my mom's wishes. This party had boys, and possible drugs and drinks. This was after prom, my sister wasnt even graduated yet. My mom gets angry and texts my sister to go back home, and I'm at home with no idea what happened. The next morning my sister lets in Family B, and for some reason Family B decides to take us. My mother was terrified of what was happening, and was so mentally unstable at that moment. Family B said they weren't giving either me or my sister back. At the time I was 16, but I'd lived a sheltered life so I had no idea what exactly was happening. My sister was 18. Nearly graduating. I had no idea what was happening and just treated this trip as a sleepover, no idea why this was happening. While I was there at Family B's house with my sister, I started to get sick. I threw up and they were trying to give me medication that I'd never had before. I rejected their offer after trying one of their things. I just rested on the balcony, feeling pale as all hell. Exausted and very unwell, at the time I didn't know any of my choices. All I knew was "stay." While that was happening, my sister didn't even help me. She just patted my back in an uncomfortable way, in which I told her to just not to touch me. Then Family B told my sister and I that we'd have to go back. Or at least I would. I vollunteered to go back, telling my sister that she can stay. Her reaction to possibly going back was filled with anxiety and such. I packed my things again, feeling weaker than before. Pulling my backpack upstairs. I see my dad and something lifts me up, suddenly I feel like I have the energy to carry my bag properly. I had no idea what happened there, but i realized. I was supposed to be with my parents, not Family B. I put my bag into the car and sit in the back, noticing my mom in the front. Then she turns around, I'm shocked by the sheer amount of tears on her face. My steeled emotions turned to putty as I realized she wasnt even mad, she was just terrified. We spend most of the time home for a bit, and I'm mostly getting better with her. We talk alot while my sister is gone, and we realize we barely knew anything about each other. I keep going to school and keep feeling heart wrenched while seeing her on the bus. She cries, I cry. But the more I think about it, I did miss her. But the thing I hated was the fact that she took so much time away from me and my mom. She wanted all the attention and energy from my mom when she had none. Me on the other hand was happy with anything, I'd always be happy with even the smallest thing. Like candy bars or a card. I was easily satisfied, and that made it easier on my mom and dad. After my sister graduated, I spent most of my time with my mom. Chatting with her, and seeing her grow. The longer my sister was gone for, the more my mom grew into learning about trauma and how to handle it. She sometimes consulted me about the teachings she was recieving, and I would be able to explain the methods and how to go through with some of them. But most of all I was learning more about her, at that time she loved cooking. Then it turned to resolving trauma, and we looked towards therapy for my mom and sister. While Me, in the middle. I dealt with the frustration of seeing my sister just act like she's being judged too harshly. I just most of all communicated that I was the one watching most of the time, and the stupidest thing came out of my sister's mouth at that time. "You're not the watcher anymore, I wont let you be in the middle." HAH! I'm your sister and Mom's

kid. I will always be in the middle. Then she proceeded to get upset at mom for communicating with me. From which I responded with a small cry, "i want to know". Then she says I dont need to know. But I'd been shut down and left behind in the closet of living a sheltered life. I was much too sheltered and this was both my mom and sister's fault. But now my mom was revealing the truths to me, and I started to see more about reality. Its not easy at all, you have to make sure you get shit done or else you get evicted. You have to make sure you do things or else you'll not recieve legal money from the gov't. The more I talked with my mom and learned about what my sister said about me, the more I felt hurt. Yeah its fine if you told me face to face, but you said that to mom. Pushing her away from me as I moved along all alone with no one to confide to about my own familial issues. When she moved out. I don't know what exactly was going through my head, but I was suddenly completely against my sister coming back. I was paying for the place myself now, and I didnt want it anymore. As in I didn't want the tense feeling that my sister made whenever they came over. Of course, my sister just blamed it on my mom. Saying it's her who is making the air tense. But to be honest, both me and my mom just couldn't handle my sister being back. So the best thing for me and my mom, instinctually I knew. We had to cut her out of our lives. But my mom still held out hope that they would come back. Back to normal, but the more she tried. The more my sister just deteriorated. Now its just me and my mom, safe from anything my sister says now. My mom is finally telling my grandma to stop supporting my sister so she gets a taste of real life. So she understands how hard it is to live by themselves. Honestly they'll always be babied until they actually live on their own, without talking to any people. Just chores and saving money so they wouldn't have to worry about medical bills. But of course, ordering out is more important. Going to starbucks is more important, going to abandoned buildings is more important. Her friends were always more important. This is my goodbye. I refuse to help you in any way because you refused to help mom when she asked. When you came around, you'd lay around and let skittles(her service dog) Bark and affect Sully(mom's service dog) to bark as well. When skittles isnt around sully is perfect. He behaves and doesnt bark at all. Theres so much more I want to write but I'm scared to move forwards to those words, I myself am not ready to say the words left over in my head. So. Good bye, and have a nice life. I still love you but stay the hell away from me and my family.

[night-rhea]

MC House Challenge! ❤️💛💙💚

This is  @kyril-hphm​ ‘s amazing idea!  I wanted to do it daays days ago but... Some shit happens everyday right? And ı also wanted to try different style to draw hairs, ım sure one day ım gonna figure it out. (ı realized ı made their eyes color wrong...damn.)

So here ı am with my girls!

İts turn out a bit long, so ım putting this button here. İf you want to know girls better, just click it!

Gryffindor Night ❤️

She is LOUD. You think Slytherin Night is loud enough? Just wait to hear this Gryffindor's voice. Bill use her in the mornings when a few Gryffindor couldn’t wake up in the time. Also need a silent moment in the common room? Just ask her, ım pretty sure even Ravenclaw Tower can hear her "Shut the fuck up!"

Also yes, this Night is not shy about swearing. But she is mostly creating absurd swear sentences. "For the fuck sake Merula, ı dont give a fuck about your fucking power GO AWAY AND FUCK SOMEBODY ELSES EAR WİTH ALL YOUR SHİT" As you can guess, she is bff with Merula.

İf you cant hear her voice, there is 2 possible place she can be. Quidditch Pitch and detention.

She is playing as a Chaser and this is the one of the only way to shut her up. Like Rath, she let her skills speak for her.  Even its just a practise, Night is always so focussed in game, sometimes her looks scaring Charlie away. She really loves Quidditch, this adrenaline. Oh and she loves the victory of course. That makes her second Skye. Poor poor Orion..

For the detention part, she is in there more than she is in  her own dorm room. Unlike Slytherin Night, she is a fan of Tonks and Tulip's pranks and loves to mess with grumpy Filch. Also detention is not that bad. With Jae here, there is always a way to have fun. Charlie always says that one day Night and Jae's closeness will blow their towers up. Everyone is just waiting for this day. Even McG.

Lets talk about her relationship with Jacob. They were really close when they are little. Because of their last name's bad popularity (ım planning to explain this later), they didnt have any friend other than each other. When Jacob left home, she lost not just her brother but also her best friend too. (Lucky for her, in Hogwarts there will be Rowan)

She dyed her hair red right before coming Hogwarts. To show everyone how she is gonna be Gryffindor just like her brother. Also while everyone talking shit about Jacob, Night refused to believe her precious brother can do something bad like that.

giggles Wanna gossip about her? Like her best friend ,she has a big fat crush on Bill. You should see how she blush when Bill compliment her. She cant help it he is "too fucking cool"!

Night and Rowan spend so many nights to talking and fangirling about him. But after realizing that he see her as a sibling,  not a lover, she was a little heartbroken and tried to date some other guys who is like him. She ended up single of course, because no one can be perfect like him.

İf you want chaos, Gryffindor Night is your girl!

Hufflepuff Night 💛

My favorite thing about this Night is her smile. İts so warm and full of love..I should admit she is the purest Night but she is too good for her own. This is the why she is entire Hufflepuff's little sister. Especially Diego's. But nor she or me can decide that he fancy her or just love her as a little sister. you know, because its Diego...

Not so suprisingly ,She loves to take care of her friends, just like Orj Night, but this girl is doing it more serious. She is the mom friend of their group. She is gonna make sure you eat all your meal and drink enough water. And if you didnt, well you need to deal with her.  Also Night will remind you to take right books for your class if you two have same class. "Did you study for todays quiz? Oh why didnt you?! Come on ı can tutor you! We only got 11 minutes but nevermind that!" Dont worry she got you. Aand One more thing, she has best shoulder to cry. Im not kidding, she will hug you until you feel better and ı can guarentee you that her kind hug and angelic voice will help you calm down.

İn the other hand, Huff Night is not good at handling her own bad emotions. Her anxiety level is a little higher than other Night's.

She is not a "so different" person. İts her words not mine. Being Rhea makes her a little bit special of course but not in the good way. She is just average girl with a unlucky family, thats all. She loves her loved ones more than she loves herself, and always wish that she can be powerfull just to protect them. But sadly she dont believe she can, she is not like Merula. Not that brave or confident . Or Tonks. Not that talented. Or Penny. Not that pretty and popüler. Aah ah, this pure girl has a lot in her mind(or should ı say her heart?) but so shy to talk about them. Damn girl, go and talk about this to Rowan (While you still can...Can you imagine how she break after she cant save her best friend..?)

Enough, İts time to tell you happy thing about her life!   She was very suprised and happy (but mostly suprised) when Merula ask Night to be her date. They started to date in fourth year. (Everyone thanked Night for making Merula more calm and tolerable. Night said that Merula dont need to be tolerated)  Well they have their up and downs of course. Before Rakepick betray them, fifth year was pretty good (Night cried for her girlfriend when she learn about Merula's parent) but unfortunate thing  that  happened in buried vault, made their hearts to apart. Night still love her deeply and wishes  she was powerfull enough to save her from Rakepick so they would still next to each other now.(I know ı said "happy thing". Thats why ı wont tell you that after Rowan's death Night thinks maybe its best if Merula far from her. No ı wont tell you that)

But dont worry about her! She is gonna smile no matter what because her smile can make someone else smile too! İf you love tea and cookie, please let her know your favorite cookie. Her mom sending her delicious Turkish tea and she will be happy to share with you!

Ravenclaw Night 💙

After Slytherin Night, Ravenclaw Night is my second favorite. I really love her general mood.

As you can see, she is the only Prefect Night. And there is simple reason for that, she is perfectionist. She didnt became Prefect because she wants to help others, she became one to make sure everything is right. All other Night helped their Rowan to be Prefect but Ravenclaw Night dont believe that other Ravenclaw's will listen Rowan. She herself is more suited, just like Chester. (She really respect Chester) But dont get me wrong, Night dont underestimated Rowan. She just believe Prefect should be more serious and Rowan's heart is so pure for that.

And unlike Hufflepuff Night, this girl have a lot faith in herself. When Night is doing something, she knows it will be perfect because she wont stop untill its perfect.  

I should warn you about her, she loves to complain. "Damn ı have to do all work. Why cant you do anything  right on your own? İt was easy, even for you. Go and do something else ım gonna finish this one. No stop wait dont do anything. Just. Go."

Just like this,she can easily tell "rude" words. Even if she didnt trying to be rude.  She is just saying whats true! İts not her fault that truth is more bitter than lies. And sorry but truth has to be told. Even if someones heart can get hurt. Lies can make everything worse than a little heartbreak. İts like a poison that tastes good and late effecting. They should thank her for not poisoning them.

Her friends? She dont have a lot. Because of her rude attitude, a lot of people dont get near her often. Fine by her. She dont want "extras" anyways. Her little group of friends is enough for her. Also she have Rowan, right? Rowan is her true soulmate. This two girls can spent hours in library and this is their favorite hang out. Honestly all Night need is Rowan and some book, she can live without any other people, thanks. But she can admit Talbott and Badea are pretty good too. Especially Talbott. He is her second best friend, if she has to give it a number. (This two became friends a little too fast. They have so many similarities. Biggest one is "Fuck Peoples" motto. They even have a ugly t-shirt that saying that. Andre died when he saw it for the first time.)

I think her mom Selina is responsible for Night's reckless behaviour. She was already angry to Jacob for leaving her behind and being ignored by her only parent makes her..ıdk, like that? She tried so hard to make Selina to notice her daughter is still with her.Tried to make her portrait with her pastel pencils, tried to brush her long hair and dressed like a princess, tried to write " I love you" in her mirror.  But little Night's little heart couldnt understand that pain of losing her son (just like how she lose her husband.) When she came to Hogwarts, she give up about her mom." İf a mother dont need to worry about her own child, then ı dont need to worry about anyone else too." But of course, she is not that heartless like she likes to think.

I think you can imagine that other students calls her names. Like "freak" or "selfish" or "egoist". She mostly just ignore them (because she dont believe they are worth to explain why she is not these name) and pretend like nothing had happened, Talbott and Rowan know she actually care and wants to be more "good". More "likeable". She is just making everyone uncomfortable when she walks in and she know it. But there is nothing she can do. İts in her blood. She is just like her mother.

I feel like ı talk too much about bad thing. İts time to tell moments when Ravenclaw Night smile. She dont have a normally smiley face but of course she smile. And you know what? İts mostly because of her boyfriend. This girl has a big soft spot for Barnaby. She literally melt every time he talk. İn the beggining she thinks he is just some stupid Slytherin and not worth lose any time but after being friends (which is a miracle) she can punch you in the face if you call him stupid. (Dont test about how hard she can punch.)

How the heck this boys heart can be this beautiful? Like, boy your parents nothing but shit to you how did you turn into biggest and cutest puppy in the world? And again, how did he love her? I mean, look at Night and look at Barnaby. They are so different and he can be with literally every witch in schooli and yet he is with Night. She dont know what she did to be this lucky but she is not planning to let him go. Just watch her.

(And ı dont know if she will notice you if you dont talk with her. She will talk with you politely at first, dont worry. Just try to not say something about her being bad prefect or something bad about her friends or boyfriend, you will be fine.)

Slytherin Night 💚

It's finally Original Night's turn to shine. How about starting with why she is most masculine looking Night?

İt was because of Selina. After Jacob left, he was the only thing Selina talk about. She talked about how she misses him playing violin, his eyes that he took from her husband, his gentle voice. Unlike Ravenclaw Night, this didnt make our Night angry. İt made her jealous. She decided that if she wants to make her mom happy, she should remind her Jacob. Maybe if she can do this, her mom would miss him less and smile more to Night. So she asked Selina to cut her hair like Jacob's.

While she growing, she tried to act like Jacob. She learned violin, wore his old clothes. She even answered when Selina called her "Jacob". And it worked. Selina started to smile more, started to talking with her more, even she cook  special meals sometimes. Menu was always full with Jacob's favorites but it doesnt matter to Night. Her mom did it for her!

İn Hogwarts, she learned that she is nothing like Jacob. Hello,  dissappointment. She was too loud, too energetic, too friendly. She learned that she can't be Jacob for her mom. At first, it  freaked her out.

Thats why she didnt want to go Celestial Ball. Didnt want to wear dress and made her hair longer. (She did want. She just didnt let herself.) And when Andre and Rowan keep asking about,, Night finally tell them everything. You know what happened? Her two angel friends talked about hours how they love her in the way she is, how she dont need to be Jacob because its her own life and she deserved to be happy.

After a lot of hugs and crying, Night wore the dress that match her name, kept her hair short.

I made this too longer ı guess ( ı was planning not to tell about Slytherin Night...) but ı always wanted to explain why ı love her. İm proud of that she can make her peace with herself. Selina is still problem for her, and still will be problem in the future too but right now Night is free from the cage she made it herself. Of course sometimes her anxiety hit her and made her feel like she is all wrong but its not a something a few late night flying cant solve.

Am ı gonna make it longer because ı wanna talk about Night and Talbott relationship? No, there will be another time for that.

She is always open for more friends. Wanna play quidditch or make/ listen music or drink tea or cook something? Night will be happy to join you in literally everything.

[rowanelliis]

hey hi hello i’m SLATER ( they/them ), twenty-five, currently living my worst life on the left coast ( pst ). i bring to you my twitchy, lonely son, ROWAN. he’s a part-time antique lover, part-time dishwasher, full-time ghost whisperer. ( or something like that,, we’ll get to it later. ) he fills the alone ranger plot, and you can find his bio/questionnaire HERE  &&  some quick stats HERE. follow me under the cut for a TL;DR bio and wanted connections !! @phqextras​

oh hello again ! as promised, here is the summarized bio, bc i get that it’s long and you have shit to do. that said ! if possible, i would really love if you read THE BIO before/instead of this. it’s just,,, better. and better is better.  anyway, here we go !

rowan was born in pleasance to a 22 yo anita ellis and a father who bounced shortly thereafter, but we don’t care about him

he sees dead people! always has. they vary in shape from faded human to amorphous eldritch horror, and they’re supremely unhelpful. they mostly dont talk and the ones who do dont really answer what youre saying, they just say whatever they want. they moan a lot tho. its annoying. he hates them. kinda.

anita was a fraudulent fortuneteller and genuine psychic. she just knew stuff. rowan figures whatever he is, he got it from her.

he loves her sm guys. she was the mf BEST MOM. we’re talking blanket forts. we’re talking homemade stews. we’re talking going to alby’s to try on outrageous outfits they couldn’t afford and then shoplifting some little treasure to delight rowan with on the way out. the BEST.

when he was eleven, he spent an afternoon in the sequoia grove and when he got back he learned that to everyone else, hed been missing for five days

so that was a whole thing

following a years-long downward spiral of her mental health, anita showed up at rowans high school in the midst of a full-on psychotic episode. he was taken away by cps almost immediately and sent to a group home a couple towns over.

when he got back to pleasance at eighteen, she was gone. missing, not dead.

since then hes been devoted to the cause of finding her but its been eleven fucking years and no one else seems to care so he do get down abt it sometimes

his main theory is that it has something to do with the sequoia grove. he thinks that maybe whatever happened to him as a kid happened to her, but on a larger scale.

he currently lives in the house that he grew up in and that his grandparents built, a giant ugly thing that hasnt been updated in any way since the 70s

hes bad at holding a job. hes bad at feeding himself. hes bad at sleeping. hes bad at forming and maintaining relationships. basically, hes bad at being an adult human.

ok so maybe he doesnt see ghosts. maybe his mom wasnt psychic. maybe theyre just crazy. that is a possibility. but its also possible its true. you dont know. leave him alone

ok now the fun part ! here are some connections id like to see for rowan:

actual friends (one or two, three TOPS. hes a loner ok)

i honestly debated whether i wanted him to have any close friends at all but yknow what! hes been in this town for nearly 30 damn years he can treat himself to a friend or two. these would be people who believe him, or at least have an open mind. they could be from way back or more recently. just people he’s comfortable around, and maybe goes to specifically for comfort. he needs a lot more of that than he’s getting.

hookups (past or present)

i think hes kind of slutty?? not in any active kind of way, hes definitely not aggressive or even confident, but he’s so starved for affection that i think he’d have a hard time saying no to anyone offering it. his sexuality is Undeclared but Not Straight, so he’s up for grabs. he’s also weak for...... how do you say..... les milfs. i mean he would never use that word but it is what it is. mommy issues doesnt even begin to cover it. on a related note! if your character is on the amoral side of the spectrum, this guy would be wildly easy to manipulate. just like, brush his hair with your fingers or call him good or whatever. he’s Weak.

exes (maybe one serious, no more than a couple more casual)

here are some great reasons to dump rowan:

will not remember your birthday or anniversary or anything

obsessed w his mom

sometimes sleeps with his eyes open which is creepy as Fuck

usually broke

lives in that fucking house

kissed someone else at your birthday party bc they had really pretty eyes and were standing really close and kinda smiled at him and he got overwhelmed

routinely talks to the air, sometimes aggressively. thinks hes covert abt it. is not.

love interests (look im not actually into planning ships it just felt fair to rowan to balance this out a little)

here are some great reasons to date rowan:

will never, ever laugh at you or make you feel small

will give small, thoughtful gifts for no reason

cute floppy hair, doe eyes

once he feels safe with you, he will do anything for you, any time, forever

lives in that fucking house

you never knew a kiss could make you feel so wanted

maybe he’s special, you know? maybe he’s just something special

( ok that was gay ! now back to your regularly scheduled programming )

people who think he’s crazy (as many as possible tbh)

i know weve got a lot of believers here but honestly,,, even among believers i think hes kind of an outcast. the mf talks to himself. there are like 8 agreed upon stories around town and hes seen waaaaaay more ghosts than that. and non-belevers?? fuggedaboutit. i kinda see this as part of the reason he was rejected from the mystery gang. maybe someone it was like ‘ok im into checking this stuff out but that guys fucking nuts’. idk. what is life without struggle?? without conflict?? boring.

people who are using him for the story (whoever wants)

this could be a writer or reporter, but it could also just be someone whos interested in this kind of stuff. OR again, could be a non-believer who just thinks its entertaining to watch him. could be honest about their motives or straight up manipulating him into thinking theyre a friend or whatever. pretty open, i just think he would be a figure of interest to certain people.

someone who was present when his mom showed up at the high school (someones?)

this isn’t even a connection really so much as just A Thing I Want. i want someone who saw a tiny, angry-crying sixteen year old rowan drag his screaming mother down the hall of the science wing with their own two eyes. student, teacher, visiting alumni, parent or sibling who was at the school for some reason idk. maybe they pitied him and approached him later. maybe it was the thing that made someone decide hes a lost cause. it doesnt even have to ever come up. i just want someone to have that image in their brain. i want them to see it when they see what a mess he is now.

a final note! when rowan was a kid he was pretty open about the ghost stuff, mostly because his mom always believed him w/out question and he didn’t know it was something to hide. after the whole woods incident and the reaction of cps + the cops to his story, he learned to keep that shit to himself. unless he knows your character well, he probably wouldnt have discussed it w them directly. however! anyone around his age might remember the stuff he talked about as a kid or his mom showing up at the school (honestly that was dramatic enough the story may live on in the halls of nwhs today in some form or another). anyone around his moms age (40-50) might know how woo-y and sketchy she and her child were. there are certainly rumors about both of them. also, most people have probably seen him behaving strangely, ie. suddenly rerouting on the sidewalk to walk around what seems like nothing, telling something to fuck off under his breath, or just flitting his eyes over to a seemingly empty space over and over. he really does try to appear as normal as possible, but it’s difficult. i think most people see more than he knows, and more than he would like them to.

[drkcnry67]

break the news... (day 14)

A/N: @obxmermaid​ this is the 14th entry in the lives of Draco and YN as we get closer to christmas they have now been stuck in the school as their classmates have gone elsewhere for the holidays. but a fire message from YN’s parents inviting them to a gathering makes this a whole less boring. 

pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Prompt: “come on down for the weekend, the family is gathering and we would be honored to have you both here.”

mentioning: @sweetness47​

25 days of hogwarts

the message, ah yes the fire message a way for wizards and witches to communicate  without the use of modern technology. also very good way to be somewhat discreet.

this is how you got a fire message that changed your weekend of a lifetime. 

“dearest daughter, you and Draco are invited to come home for the weekend to enjoy our family gathering. this is the one day a year as you know that the entire family gets together under one roof, grudges and petty judgements go out the window. minus your father who is doing well, but the doctors are getting his magic up to full strength again. please reply and say you both will be in attendance for it would mean the world to us. love mom.”

you turned to draco as you both took one look at the fire message and smiled. 

Draco: i guess we need to pack a weekend bag. we can share a bag right?

YN: yep. but a fair warning this weekend my family will be doing all sorts of magic. its like this every single damn year. its basically one big game of catch up that lasts the entire weekend. 

just as draco was about to speak your fire place went crazy. then a figure resembling your mother appeared.

YN: mom?

Laura: ah daughter thank goodness i found the right one. so did you get the fire message...

YN: yes we were just discussing it. 

Laura: oh come on down for the weekend, the family is gathering and we would be honored to have you both here. please say you will come... you know the family will want to know how you are doing and meet draco...

YN: yes thats what im afraid of, all the grilling and questions and and... oh fine.. but do us all a favor and hide the bourbon from uncle ned, you know how lushy he gets. wait which place is it at this year?

Laura: ive already done that... oh dont worry ive spoken to dumbledore by fire message he will have a port key ready. 

YN: oh so you knew i would say yes. 

laura: i hoped you would. now we will see you both on friday at 3pm or sooner. by the way your father is fine. i know you probably got my update note but to reaffirm he is fine. he woke up. the doctors were able to heal him all up. he wont be at the feast they are keeping him a few more days to make sure he is fully functional with his magic. 

YN: we will have to find time to visit him then... 

Laura: yes. now we will see you both in a few days. remember YN be nice to these people they are family but they are gonna be ruthless to anything they dont understand yet. 

YN: what do you mean?

Laura: i mean some of the family is old school like they dont think open relationship policy is a good idea. 

YN: well this will be a shock for them then. see you on friday mom. 

the fire went back to normal as you flopped back onto the couch your head spinning, you know how your family reacts to the abnormal.

You bringing home a boy, who is not from your own house is like people who don't listen to the law.

The law is hard but it is the law. This was one thing you were desperately prepared to fight for, this was your life you werent gonna let your family determine how you get to live it. 

anyway back to the story, you and draco decided to pack and you both went to dumbledore’s office on friday at noon and went through the port key landing just outside of paris at one of your family country mansions. 

Draco: love, this place is incredible so why would we not come here more often. 

YN: cause i want to be independent so i take only what i need and every month they transfer 10,000 into my bank account and another 10,000 into my gringotts. both of these accounts were of my parents doing, not mine. but its mostly their way of support before we go further we need to figure out how to approach this to my family. 

Draco cups your cheeks and kisses you when he pulled back he spoke calmly. 

Draco: we will handle this with smiles, and friendliness and happy thoughts, we are the only people who matter in this relationship, the people who support us matter as long as they support our union. at the end of it, we are the ones that matter and have final say in this relationship. that and the ministry when we tell fudge. 

YN: yes that, we need to do that soon... maybe sooner than we think if this dinner doesnt go well. 

Draco: well lets go inside, im sure your mom knows we are here... dear we are just prolonging the inevitable. 

YN: your right. lets go... but im surprised that someone isnt here to greet me... 

you let out a sharp whistle, letting your purse sit now on the ground. just as you did that, you heard a screech. 

Draco: what was that love?

YN: that is my griffin... 

Draco: im sorry what... 

just then a griffin with golden feathers with tints of black and brown through it lands in front of you. approaching you as you bow, the griffin nuzzles your face with its own. 

YN: i missed you too girl. Draco, this is Opal. Opal this is Draco my boyfriend. 

Opal turns to draco, Draco bows to Opal who approaches Draco and sniffs him and waits a few seconds and then nuzzles Draco’s head. draco then began petting Opal. 

YN: she likes you, its always polite etiquette to bow to a griffin or a hippogriff before approaching it.  this gesture will show the griffin that you are not a threat. this is a show of good faith. of good will. 

Draco: opal, I think we need a guard to get to the door.

Opal growls lightly before leading the way to the door. You both get to the door and opal nudges you before she bows letting you and Draco go inside. your mother comes round the corner from the kitchen and rushes to hug you. 

Laura: im so glad you both are here... now YN your room is fully prepared for you and Draco. not to worry i pre warned most of the family that someone has a big announcement. no one questioned or said anything. not to worry though, people will begin to arrive in a few hours. go on up and un pack. 

YN: its good to see you too mom. this way love. 

you take draco by the hand as you both walk upstairs down the hall and too the right. into your master suite or as you call it “the tower”. this room complete with your own walk in closet, a king size canopy bed, your own bathroom. decorated in a teal color to combine yours and dracos magic essence. 

YN: this is our room for the weekend. 

Draco: its perfect. i love this bed and the color and you. 

You turned to face him, to meet his eyes with your own. 

YN: careful love thats seduction in your tones. we have 2 years to wait before we can be married. or even consider that possibility. 

Draco: doesnt mean we can lay here for as long as possible and just play wizards chess or something. 

you snap your fingers and you both were laying with a wizards chess board on the bed.

YN: we are gonna play this till we are called several thousand times. by everyone who wants to see me and grill me and... ugh... this is stupid.... my family is so passed screwed that its a long long time between gatherings for the reason of they dont know what they want, against every fibre of better judgement that they have, they dont know how much the world has changed.

Draco: love don't worry too much. Let's just play and not worry about anything else right now. Nothing is gonna ruin our weekend. Nothing at all. i believe white goes first love. 

you have been planning your entire strategy for this game you were 6 moves ahead of draco and you planned to keep it that way. 

YN: pawn to g4

draco: knight to f6

YN: pawn to g5

draco: knight to d5

YN: knight to a3

draco: pawn to e5

to this point you had counted for every angle every move that draco could possibly counter. 

YN: knight to c4

Draco: queen to g5

you now had an opportunity to get rid of his queen if you did it correctly. 

YN: pawn to d3

draco: queen to f6

YN: knight to a5

draco: pawn to b5

YN: knight to f3

draco: your good love, but im slightly better... bishop to b7

YN: only as a slight... but not better enough. Knight to b7

Draco: knight to c6

YN: pawn to e3

Draco: love that wasnt very smart of you... knight to e3

YN: love that also wasnt smart of you. Pawn to e3

draco: clever love, pawn to d5

YN: bishop to d2

draco: pawn to e4

You smile as you begin to make Draco think you are preparing to checkmate his king. 

YN: bishop to B4

Draco: oh my dear you are not gonna win right now... bishop to b4, by the way love, check... 

you were so unsure of what to do, now looking at the board you knew now that you were screwed, you were about to loose. 

you had to attempt to get your king out of check. 

YN: im not gonna go down without a final attempt... king to e2

draco: sorry love, queen to f3... i believe its checkmate!

Yn: how I had this all planned out, I had this all planned out... Omg congrats love you win.

You kissed Draco, his hands pushing the chess board off the bed. That started the make out session of the next 10 min. Before someone came up the stairs and knocked on your door...

You turned toward the door and snapped your fingers...

Yn: come on in

You and Draco sat on the bed in each other's embrace watching as the door opened to reveal Hermione Harry and Ron.

You both got up and embraced them. They were here but how did they know.

Hermione: didn't think I would miss family gathering weekend did you... plus i figured we could use the backup, plus these 3 are the first outsiders at this family weekend. you my dear cousin could use a little bit of extra happiness before the rest of our family arrive. besides did you show Draco the extension of the grounds. all the griffins that you have trained. 

YN: he did meet opal who took to him right away. he did surprisingly well for his first encounter with a griffin. But tomorrow we will go to the griffin sanctuary. Tonight we meet the family. I've been avoiding going down, how many are here yet?

Hermione: too many, more than usually show up first. no one has fought yet so its good and pleasant so far. cuz we should put on the family crest!

though you didnt want to Hermione pulled out a bag from your closet and led you into the washroom. you both put on the knee length black dresses and did a hair check before exiting back to the guys. 

Draco took one look at you, came over and kissed you...

Draco: that dress is absolutely gorgeous on you!

YN: thank you love, this is the family crest, its style takes after our hogwarts crests. but it is our family crest. i however look forward to the day when we can be married where we have the freedom to disappear under new names so we can live our lives in hiding, in peace. 

no one except draco heard you say those words as your ears heard the sound of fencing swords... you and hermione took off down the stairs and watched as your uncles all have fencing swords and are fencing throughout the house/property.

YN: well the fun begins. hermione tell the guys to stay upstairs im gonna stay here and watch this wait for my chance to intervene. 

hermione: i should be by your side for this...

YN: no you should wait with the guys, make sure you give them their anti tracking bracelets. make sure that they understand the rules, make sure that they know what they are and are not allowed to do while here. make the rules abundantly clear.

Hermione gives you a swift nod, realizing that you were right, she went back upstairs to the boys. You let out a ear pi3rcing whistle forcing your family present to stop in their tracks.

Yn: family, family should we not be calm, should we be merry and sheath our swords for it is supposed to be the one weekend out of the year where we gather together as one whole magical family, but today you me, you pessimistic grown ass men are acting like children on this the weekend of peace. So every man in here and on this property shall hence forth not herald another sword as long as we all exist within this property border, for today i tell you all that im the one with the announcement.

You turn to see hermione coming down the stairs, draco following behind her, harry and ron behind him. Draco comes up at your side, proudly sporting his house crest as he places his hand to your own. 

YN: this man beside me is my announcement, this young man is my boyfriend of 2 and a half years, this is Draco Malfoy. yes his parents are followers of you-know-who but Draco is different, i saved him from his parents, i saved him from whatever they wanted for him, more importantly we saved each other. without draco i would not be standing before you all to declare that my parents have blessed this union and we are the start of the open house relationship policy in the wizarding world, which now states “any witch or wizard that so sees fit to love someone not of their own house shall be free to be with whoever their heart desires within or without their house crest. for eternity shall this be!” Draco and i will be the first of a long line of students to follow our hearts. if i earn not even one of your approvals this weekend just know this, my parents support us and these 3 behind us support us, the school and its professors and students support us. we are supported and loved in every single direction. but a week ago Draco gave me this necklace with our couples initials and our anniversary date which pairs perfectly with this ring i gave him, neither of us are leaving this relationship and no one can make us. 

for the room was silent all eyes were on you, and neither you nor draco said anything else, you both just walked over to the kitchen to help mom with some baking and rolling of spring rolls, and mixing of drinks yet still no one said anything, they just all stared at you both. 

by the end of the first day you guys had been among the people, no one said a word to either of you. the night was peaceful, you both stood out on the balcony as opal slept beside where you both stood (yes the balcony is big enough for a griffin to sleep on... odd how story telling can be warped to our standards as authors) you both went inside after an hour and a bit later and went to sleep.

the next morning when you both woke it was to the sound of drills and hammers, something was going down and from the sound of it something was happening. 

you both went to the balcony and discovered that the family was building something in the yard. opal was freaking out but she was also tied to a post in the yard. 

YN: either my family has decided to work together or we are in lots of trouble. 

thats when you received a fire message.

YN: its from my cousin she says that the family locked her ron harry and my mother in the barn with the griffins, tied up opal and insist on crucifying us all insisting we are all under the dark lords influence unless you and draco renounce your relationship and never see each other again.

Draco: what are we going to do... i cant live without you, and im never going to renounce our love. 

YN: i have an idea but im gonna need you to do a fire message as well, send one to hermione in the barn tell her that she needs to comfort my mother, help is on the way... i have 1 message to send myself, to hogwarts. 

you prepared your message as draco did his, you both sent them off, you knew hermione couldnt reply but she could receive, the one going to hogwarts however arrived in the hands of who you addressed it. 

dumbledore received the message, he summoned minerva and snape to his office... 

Dumbledore: im afraid this is not a social call, this is quite urgent in fact, a literal matter of life or death. YN and Draco had left yesterday to YN’s parents place, but i just received an urgent fire message... this reads, “Headmaster, this message is Urgent! we need help my family didnt take the news of me and Draco being together very well, they plan to crucify us, to crucify mine, hermiones, dracos, harrys, rons and my moms magical and physical forms. we need assistance, they have me and draco locked in the tower, and the others in the barn. please bring help, we need to get out of here. but they boarded the room we have a balcony but we wouldnt survive the jump. help us, get us out of here, by any means necessary and headmaster thank you for letting me and Draco live our lives together. help us asap!”

minerva: what do we have to do albus, how do we save the children and YN’s mother...

Dumbledore: quite easily, we 3 are going to YN’s family property where i will tqalk to the courtyard, one of you goes to the barn, the other goes to the tower,  we meet back in the courtyard hopefully with everyone safe and sound. hopefully in that time frame i will have calmed down the courtyard and come up with a plan. now lets go... 

the 3 professors by port key traveled and arrived outside the gate to your family estate. with 3 wands this would surely work better than expected. 

snape, minerva & dumbledore: bombarda maxima

with that the gate, and half the wall on either side of the gate blew up, shattered into a thousand pieces. the explosion was loud enough to shake the entire estate. you and draco stood up slightly knowing that help had arrived. 

your family on the other hand saw snape, minerva and dumbledore walk through the debris and they parted like the red sea, going completely silent, dropping whatever they were holding. for they all knew that this was not gonna be an easy task. 

snape went toward the barn in which he found Harry, Ron, Hermione & of course your mom in the corner tied up like animals. he used his wand to untie them all and then waited for the signal to start emerging from the barn. 

minerva went inside the house and up the stairs, where she found and broke down your tower door. 

Minerva: time to go grab what you need lets go. 

YN: thank you so much professor for coming. 

Minerva: i am just glad im not too late... now lets see what dumbledore is saying to your family. 

Dumbledore was now on a platform speaking to your family. or at least those that were in the courtyard. 

Dumbledore: these children have done no harm, these people have made nothing wrong, why do you all believe they should be crucified, they have done nothing wrong except learn to love. 

one person exclaimed: they are working for the dark lord

another person exclaimed: their relationship is toxic and needs to be purified by crucifixion

another person screamed: cause its not right, this is not how the rules dictate... 

dumbledore was fed up with all the same types of answers...

Dumbledore: i albus dumbledore have seen the love that these 2 children share, ive seen it projected through their school work and through their vocals, its as pure and good as any in house relationships that have happened. ive decreed this to the school and am waiting for my meeting with the ministry to tell them about this. it will be a few weeks for that but i state this to you all: whoever goes from here to another soul and speaks ill of what has happened here shall henceforth no more have the ability to speak anything bad, and further more i decree that as long as there are good people running hogwarts, the houses can be free to love whosoever they desire! this began with Draco and YN, this decree is sealed by the signing of this parchment by me, professor mcgonigal, professor snape, YN and Draco. these 2 and the rest of their friends and family are not to come to any harm... now commence with the signing... YN and Draco first, then minerva and severus, i will sign last. 

you and draco walked up to the parchment, you signed it first then handed the pen to draco who followed in signing the parchment. then minerva and severus signed next, then dumbledore before he spoke again. 

Dumbledore: now all of you clean this yard up, none of you will be able to speak of this day, none of you will remember the horrors that were unleashed today. now go back to cleaning this yard and repairing this wall, YN didnt come back for family weekend and you guys do not remember anything. 

the spoken words echo on the property as your mom gave you, hermione, draco, harry and ron a longing look that seemed to say ill see you soon. like that you all ended up back at hogwarts in dumbledores office. 

Dumbledore: i wonder if i could speak with YN and Draco alone a moment. 

Minerva: of course Albus, i will make sure these children make it back to the dorms. come along children. 

the 5 people left the room leaving you and Draco alone in the office. 

dumbledore: now children lets speak a bit about what happened... 

YN: its my fault headmaster, i was so looking forward to telling my family, i didnt know it would go that wrong... i thought the old laws were no longer in effect, that crucifixions were illegal in the muggle and wizarding worlds. 

Dumbledore: unfortunately the old laws are the laws that were drilled deeply into lots of witches and wizards and mostly in pureblood families such as both of yours. but unfortunatly we can not change their minds or their ways for that matter, the only thing we can do about this is move forward starting with my meeting with the ministry. now i expect you both to take the day, relax, take a load off and just relax its best not to speak of what happened to anyone its better that not very many people know yet. now be off, spend as much time as needed to push this days events from your minds. 

you and draco walk out of the room, down the hall, through the changing stair cases to the shared dorm, where your room was.

He walked through the door with you, you both fell back on the bed. Just exhausted mentally.

Draco: are you OK love?

Yn: no I'm not... My family rejected me, rejected our relationship. for that they will have to learn the hard way with the decree, hopefully they will listen to that and hopefully when and or if fudge decides to make the announcement in the daily prophet. i know every single member of my family makes the effort to read the daily prophet... So we are gonna make sure it's front page worthy...

You turned over to face him and watched his eyes search your own. He was concerned about you, about your feelings, about your well being.

Draco brushed his hand gently against your cheek and smiled.

Draco: just lean into me and close your eyes. Don't dwell on what happened, dwell on our future think about that.. I love you YN, I love you so much! Just relax my love, just relax.

You leaned into the arms of your love, and happily lulled off to a state of peace and relaxation. You were not sure what tomorrow would hold but as long as nothing else bad happened you would be fine.

~to be continued~

[charmspoint]

37 for the fic writer questions!

Ask meme here

37. Talk about your current wips

This is great I was thinking of listing out everything im working on these days anyway n now i get an excuse. For quite a few of these I cant talk about them actually cuz they are event stuff but imma list em anyway.

(This got long so im putting it under keep reading)

Lets! Categorize!

A) Ready to post!

Here we have my ShinKami bb fic: No Escape (coming out tomorrow) and my DabiHawks bb fic: Red string of death (coming out sunday) - obvs cant say much until they are posted, lets just say that for shinkami we are gettin some horror and dabihawks gets double banger of soulmate au x reincarnation au but like angsty

B) Currently in editing

Pieces for: DabiHawks metamorphos zine, LOV found family zine and villain/vigilante deku zine - since they are zines i feel like its a big no no to talk about them so we goin down

C) Currently writing

A secret santa piece and a piece for todobaku bb - one of these is actually cute couple things and the other is be dumping magic and horror on to a shipping fic again i obviously have a thing for that the more i think about these

D) Currently planing

Shinsou bigbang! (Do NOT judge me for how many events im in) anyway im super looking forward to this i feel like i have such a great idea n mmm we arent even to partnering up yet so i zip

DabiHawks secret admierer au - something i can talk about :0. This was one of my pitches for the metamorphos au n i got attached. The basic premise is: no powers high school au, local bad boy band member Touya is pining hard after straight A good boy Keigo and in atempt to confess his feelings he leaves a love song in his locker. The problem? Dabi is super fucking edgy and so is his song and upon reading it Keigo is 100% Dabi wants him dead. Shennaniganse ensue. LOV is there giving Dabi increasingly bad love advice, Rumi is there mostly to laugh her ass of and then do dramatic reading of the song, im gonna write actual songs for it!!! Anyway just lil slice of life school comedy, im not always about horror and angst belive it or not. Im looking forward to this one it should be fun!

All the beautiful things we are (All the dangerous things we will become) - another chuuya gen fic!! This one featuring Kouyou (n maaaaaybe Kyouka) in some good ol sibling bonding. Set earlier then The suffocating quality of your dying breaths, its basically kouyou taking chuuya under her wing and some good sibling bonding that will probably feature some good ol exploration of gender expression and just kouyou wrestling a brat into a suit. I just want some good chuuya n kouyou n some decent chuuya experimenting with dressing up n darn it ill make it myself

There are a few more that are in my notes as possible ideas but these are the ones im sure ill write so i dont wanna promise anything i wont do

E) On hiatus

TodoBaku murder mystery - my original idea for the todobaku bb, i wanted to challenge myself n write something i never did before but then college slapped me n ye i went back into the comfort zone. I still wanna do this one someday, probably over summer. Basic concept: normal life au, Enji Todoroki is found dead in his bed and detective! Bakugo is on the scene trying to determin did any of the family members, gathered that night to celebrate their mother returning from a hospital, have anything to do with it while trying super hard not to fall for the one Todoroki that keeps sticking his nose where it doesnt belong. Featuring: literally everyone having a motive and Bakugo being done with the family drama, Dabi being in a gang and acting like he owns the place, and ice skater Shouto both too dumb and too smart for his own good. We will see does anything come of it.

Season of rain - omegaverse light fic where i, an asexual, look at a trope purely made for kink and go 'what if for me tho?'. I call it light cuz i wont be writing any sex but u know me its heavy on angst. Featuring: Deku squad as a ship, omega sho n izu, alpha uraraka n beta iida n tsuyu. Dealing with such topics as: postpartum depression, sexisam, fear of alphas, arranged marriges, pack dynamics, betas having an actual role and importance, maneging poly reletionships, me harping on about how ideal number of parents is actually more than two and that if there were three genders standard reletionships would be expected to be a x b x o not just a x o. Aka me putting way too much worldbuilding into a kink trope. Basic premise: seeing as shouto turned out to be an omega, instead of training him to be a hero enji signs him of to enter a quirk marrige when he gets older just like rei. Years later shouto has just gotten out of a divorce and with a whole baby in tow is taken in by dekusquad. Hurt comfort ensues as they slowly work shouto into their dynamic and make him feel safe and loved again. Honestly i just want to give this one more time n attention that i have rn so its waiting for summer

Ashes to ashes - a dabihawks (maybe) post war au fic that was supposed to focus on Dabi facing what he has done and who he has become and the almost imposible process of changing yourself for the better when you spent all your life chasing one thing, on one side and on the other; Hawks recovering fron trauma caused by almost being killed, dealing with his newly growing wings causing him pain and being afraid he'll never fly quite the same again and trying to find connections among other heroes just cuz i say he needs friends. Both of them are dealing with very mixed emotions about each other and they work through them seperatly and together, trying to set everything that happend into a perspective and figure out where to go from there. I havent decided do they actually get back together or not by the end of it all. I was planing this and then hori dumped dabis crazy ass on me n now im mostly waiting to see what he does with him so i know what to do with him in the end, smh hori making my life hard :/

[captain039]

kitten

Tom hardy x reader

Summary: how you met and what became of this relationship, gonna get kinky *wink wink*

Warnings: mentions of abuse, smut in the next chapter.

No one knew of your secret, no one knew of the sinful pleasures of the night, no one knew you were with the one they call Mr. Hardy.

It was a normal day at work in the small cafe, the usual came in a sweet elderly couple from down the road and the cop who likes his coffee extra sweet. Your mother owned this shop she use worked like you when her mum owned it, family business. Your nan had passed away a few years ago leaving the shop in your and your mums hands. It was tough on your poor mother being a single parent and owning a shop, but you helped out all you could as she grew older.

The first time he walked through the door everyone was still, seeing such a handsome and well known face in your shop. He smiled politely to everyone before going to the counter, you knew him, Tom Hardy though you acted like he was a complete stranger.

"What can I get for you sir?" you asked your work smile on.

"Uh a white latte and a BLT please" you nodded scribbling it down.

"Wont be to long take a seat" he nodded as you rushed back into the kitchen, your face was flushed as you huffed trying to snap out of it.

"Somethings got you blushing" you groaned quietly hearing your mother.

"Nothing mum, but what we need is a white latte you always make the best" you said while making the BLT, she smirked walking away. You finally finished and brought it out seeing your mum talking to him.

"Your BLT" you placed it on the table taking the mug from your mums hands.

"And white latte" you raised an eyebrow at her as she laughed walking off.

"Your mum?" he asked, you nodded.

"Shes lovely" you smiled.

"Sometimes, but mostly shes cheeky" you chuckled.

"Need anything else?" you asked.

"No thank you this is lovely" you smiled giving a nod before walking back behind the counter. You looked up as the bell ring ready to smile when you saw your dad. Your father well he was abusive physically and verbally your mother took you away at a very young age saving you from him, but he found a way back.

"Hello dear" he smiled, but you weren't fooled.

"Get out, your not aloud in here" you whisper yelled his smile turned to a frown as your mother walked out.

"Y/m/n" he greeted.

"Get out" she growled throwing her cloth harshly to the side.

"Am I not aloud to see my daughter?" he hissed quietly everyone was looking you wish the world would swallow you up.

"You damn well cannot and you know why!" your mother raised her voice.

"Now leave" she yelled people looked concerned as you sighed.

"Babe are you ok?" you frowned looking up seeing Tom walking over.

"Fine my dad was just leaving" Tom walked behind the counter placing a hand on your lower back, you blushed.

"You heard her mate" He said his voice low, your father growled storming out, a sigh of relief left your mouth.

"You alright?" He asked you and your mother.

"Fine I'm sorry you had to see that dear, how about a free latte for later?" your mum offered a smile, Tom nodded.

"Its ok, thought I'd step in, didnt like the looks of him" Tom still hadn't removed his hand, you were probably shaking under his hand aswell.

"Uh?" you let out he frowned turning to you.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Your hand" You whispered he let go instantly.

"Im sorry" he said rushed scratching the back of his neck.

"Its fine" you mumbled, you rolled your eyes when you saw your mum smirking.

His phone began to rang making you all jump as he sighed.

"Well duty calls, I'll come by tomorrow for that latte dear, hopefully he doestn come back!" Tom yelled walking out the door. You just stood, Tom hardy was just in your cafe and protected you. You glanced to your mum who wiggled her eyebrows.

"Mum, no" she laughed going to the other tables apologizing.

He did come by the next day, and the day after that, he was a new regular coming by every morning to have a white latte and a BLT. He was funny and kind the perfect man, your mum always embarrassed you saying it was her 'job' to.

Your cafe became famous and soon paparazzi and the news everyone showed up just to see him. It was sad really he didnt get to be left alone, you and your mum were bombarded with questions, but then he just stop coming.

A letter was out the door with the initials T.H on the front, you frowned walking inside closing up shop and sat down opening it.

'Dear Y/n,

I'm sorry for all the people that came by and harassed you with questions I didnt mean for that to happen, I was just trying to get away I guess, but they always come back. Anyway I wrote this letter to say I'm sorry, but also to ask if you would like to go on a date, it's ok if you dont want to, but the place and time is

Grand Grace's restaurant at 6, saturday I'll meet you outside

-Tom'

You were running with emotions after the letter, should you go? it was nice he said sorry thought it wasnt his fault, you missed him being here, his smile always lit up the room and your day, hell your dad didnt come back either.

"What's wrong?" you jumped at your mums voice, you handed her the letter and she smiled brightly.

"Yes! your going, my dear he is good for you, and you need this" you sighed at your mums enthusiasm.

"Mum, hes a celebrity I'm just a waitress" you sighed folding the letter back up.

"Who cares! he clearly is interested in you, and ive seen the way he looks at you" your mum was babbling away, you finally gave in.

"Fine! I'll go" she made a sqeul and hugged you tightly.

Saturday came quickly you were a bundle of nerves you had never gone to such a fancy place before, you were a simple blue dress with flower patterns on the top with black flats like hell you were wearing heels. You did your hair put on some makeup and sighed were you really doing this?

You waited outside the restuarant gripping your purse tightly, you were getting looks from everyone maybe you should go.

"Y/n?" you looked over seeing Tom in a suit, he had given himself a clean shave and styled his hair, he looked breath taking.

"My dear, you look wonderful" he smiled taking your hand and kissing your knuckles. You were blushing like mad, everyone around you were gasping at the sight.

"So do you" you whispered he frowned sensing your discomfort.

"Stop staring!" he yelled everyone hurried back to what they were doing, you sighed quietly shaking your head.

"I shouldnt be here" you mumbled more to yourself.

"I'm sorry, we can go somewhere else?" you froze shaking your head.

"I, no, I should just leave I'm sorry Tom" you quickly walked away tears in your eyes, he called after you, but you ignored it running into the night. It decided to rain to make everything else worse, you'd just ran from Tom it was to much the staring the looks, you should've never of went. You went to your favourite spot by the river, you sat on the edge dangling your feet as you wiped your face. God you felt like an idiot it would've never of worked.

"Y/n?" you jumped at the sound of a voice, you turned seeing a soaking wet Tom.

"Tom" you said sadly turning your head more tears coming out.

"What happened? talk to me" he sat down beside you.

"This isn't going to work and you know it, your a famous actor! me I'm just a waitress a blur in the crowd, The looks I was getting before you arrived, I'm just a simple girl" you whispered sadly wishing this would all end.

"I know I'm an actor Y/n, but im still a person, those people have no idea who you are or what they'd miss out on if they knew you, your not simple, your the kindest and funniest person I know, you didnt scream when you saw me, or ask for my pic or autograph you treated me like a human being, and that's- that's what I want and liked about you" he said sincerely his eyes staring at you, you sighed taking his hand gently giving it a squeeze.

"I'm scared is all" you confessed.

" I'm scared to I didnt think you'd come, your gorgeous I didnt stand a chance" he smiled intertwining his fingers with yours.

"Its me who didnt have a chance" you chuckled, his smiled brightened hearing you laugh.

"Can we start again? please? I'll take you to your little cafe" you laughed, but nodded your head.

"Yeah" he grinned kissing your hand again.

"I'm glad"

There will be part 2 soon!

[kamorth]

Dont know why but need to talk. Watching tangled with friend and as my mother was emotional abusive with extreme gaslighting its hard to watch with the morther in there. My friends making excuses for the mother and hyping her makeas ne sick to the stomach. Sorry to rent.

Dude you’re allowed to vent AND rant. Sometimes we need to get shit out of our system before we can deal with it and just telling someone who isn’t going to make you suffer for it can help.

I’ve never actually seen the movie, and that’s mostly because of the stuff you described. I’ve read and been told about it before and it sounds nasty as fuck. Also, from what I’ve heard, it’s almost glorified, like “no you should be grateful someone is making your life so shitty, at least someone cares about you enough to shit all over your everything!” so I can definitely see why it would trigger you like that (and that’s the correct use of trigger, not some sarcastic or hyperbolic innuendo - a specific part of the movie triggered you into thinking about traumatic memories which caused your stress response instincts to react as if those things were happening all over again) and having your friend sitting there going “wHaT’s YoUr PrObLeM mAn?” definitely isn’t going to help at all to say the least. 

Unfortunately, abusers like that rely on the fact that everyone thinks “normal” people shouldn’t have a problem with what they do, that their behaviour is justified. Media glossing over those kinds of tactics makes it easier for them to get away with it. They COULD make it clearer in the movie that she is actually the villain, point out that her behaviour is the kind of thing evil people do, but then the villain wouldn’t be humanized and we’d all walk away going “what kind of monster would treat a child in their care like that? I don’t know ANYONE who would be capable of that!” when the sad reality is that 70% of children experience some kind of abuse before they hit adulthood. I think that’s what they were going for in Tangled, humanizing the villain so that people could see that abuse always gets justified with garbage rhetoric that SOUNDS logical to people when they aren’t on the receiving end of it 24/7, but from what I hear they went a little too far with it and made her more sympathetic than her victim.

My advice would be to take it easy, if possible remove yourself from the situation inconspicuously (”Oooh I’ve suddenly got a headache coming on, I might need to go lie down for a bit” or something along those lines) so that you can spend some time feeling your feelings without being judged or “corrected” for it, and then when you’ve had a chance to calm down and you’re feeling a bit better you can decide if it’s worth talking about it with your friend now and explaining why what they said upset you or if you’d rather leave it for another day. It’s always a good idea for people to get educated about this stuff but that doesn’t mean it’s YOUR job to educate them. If they follow you on social media, maybe hunt down a post or something where someone else has gone into detail about why the character is abusive and reblog it. You don’t even have to add anything if you don’t want to, although you could tag your friend to make sure they see it if you think that would be a good idea.

Pick your battles. You don’t have to make every single person understand everything about you and why you react to things the way you do. How many people in your life do you understand to that level? I’m guessing not many, if any at all. That’s okay. It’s also okay to decide that a friendship or other connection just isn’t worth salvaging. There doesn’t have to be a big fight about it. At the end of the day, only you can decide what the best course of action is.I’m going to guess you’re fairly young, probably not a child but I don’t get “old enough to voluntarily be a parent” vibes from your ask either. I’m going to guess old enough to have left home possibly but young enough to still feel very raw about the abuse you went through, like you left home less than a decade ago. Bearing that guess in mind, I’m going to tell you that it DOES get better. Sometimes people will come into your life and immediately say something that will make you want to yeet them into the sun, so you’ll decide that the best thing for you to do is either to ignore them and get on with things (if they’re a workmate or something else unavoidable) or just cut them out of your life completely, and sometimes you’ll decide that there is enough other stuff there that you DO like that educating their ignorant arse is worth the hassle. Sometimes you’ll decide the thing you see differently is not worth bickering over so you’ll just let it slide. All of that is entirely up to you. Eventually, if you trust yourself and let yourself cut toxic people out of your life, you get a group of people around you who are worth keeping.

Your reaction is valid. Your emotions are valid, and you deserve to be listened to and have your feelings respected. And you’re welcome to come vent here and get a mini-lecture on why you’re not a bad person any time you like.

[thetravelerwrites]

Commitments: Part 2 (Gargoyles Fanfic)

Rating: Teen Fandom: Disney’s Gargoyles Relationships: Goliath x Elisa Maza Additional Tags: Marriage, Wedding Day Trigger Warnings: Light Language, Sex Mention Words: 3443

It's the day of the ceremony. Elisa has a heart to heart with her mother and father. Please leave feedback!

October 24th, 1999: Goliath and Elisa had chosen this date for the ceremony because it was five years to the night of their first meeting, when he had plucked her from the sky after, admittedly, scaring her off a parapet.

Unfortunately, their union could only be symbolic and not legal. It would also have to be a secret from everyone except for their family and closest friends, but they figured, what else is new? Elisa had long been a target of hate groups for merely having alleged, unconfirmed connections to the Gargoyles, and coming out publicly as one of their staunchest supporters hadn’t done her any favors, but openly marrying a Gargoyle would not only have been extremely controversial, it could have cost her her job, home, safety, and possibly even her freedom.

After talking with Amy, Goliath’s public defender who now acted as the Gargoyles’ legal representation in all civil matters, he had learned that there was a law prohibiting humans from marrying any being that was not also human, regardless of level of sentience or intelligence. Which meant that Elisa’s relationship with Goliath was technically bestiality and as such, illegal. Attempting to obtain a marriage license could have landed them both in jail.

There had been no such law as of 1997, Amy had told him, and she surmised the law had been pushed through in secret around the same time the Gargoyle Civil Rights Movement was being fought in court.

Eighteen months after Gargoyles had become public knowledge, the Gargoyles of the Manhattan Clan and many of their allies had testified in front of a grand jury for the Gargoyles’ very right to exist without persecution. After a lengthy battle and many sacrifices and concessions, they had won.

Following the trial, a bill had been passed granting the Manhattan Clan American citizenship, basic civil rights, and put them on the endangered species list, which automatically protected them against unlawful imprisonment, exploitation, experimentation, assault, and murder.

Before the GCRM, ending a Gargoyle’s life had no legal ramifications whatsoever, but after the bill was passed, the act of killing a Gargoyle while they were awake had been classified as murder. Any person responsible for the killing of a Gargoyle could face up to 25 years in prison.

Destroying a stone Gargoyle was seen as a “common law murder” and carried with it a much lesser sentence, but the prosecution would have to prove that the stone statue the defendant destroyed was a living gargoyle. Otherwise it was simply malicious property damage, though it could possibly be tried as a hate crime.

The bill also protected any human that associated with the Gargoyles from retaliation or discrimination, which finally allowed Elisa the chance to proudly support her friends for the entire world to see. It felt great to stand with them as an advocate after hiding them and keeping her friendship with them a secret for so long.

Despite this historic victory for their kind, there was still much prejudice and hatred toward Gargoyles and the people who stood up for them. Their bold willingness to take on public opinion had afforded them some liberties, but in the eyes of the world, Gargoyles were still practically animals, and the bill had done nothing to change that.

 There were new laws in place to protect Gargoyles against threats and violence, but seemingly nothing to defend them from discrimination. In fact, several xenophobic laws that had not previously existed prior to the GCRM seemed to have quietly popped up out of nowhere.

There was a law that protected the right of any public, private, or federally owned business to refuse service to Gargoyles, including hospitals and clinics. Gargoyles also could not secure a job, license, or any property that exceeded $2000 unless they could procure a valid social security number, while at the same time there was a law prohibiting Gargoyles from legally obtaining a social security number. Gargoyles were also barred from attending any state funded schools, including trade programs, and could not earn any certificate, diploma, or degree. Amy was working to change the laws, but progress was slow and she was meeting opposition from all sides.

It baffled Goliath and infuriated Elisa, who was now forced to uphold these ridiculous laws. She hated it. It was unconstitutional and disgusting and she loathed every second that she had to be a part of it. It very nearly caused her to quit the justice system altogether, because this wasn’t justice, it wasn’t freedom, it wasn’t the same system that had convinced her to join the police force in the first place.

This was a perversion of civil liberties, bigots hiding behind a mask of equality, using the publicity of the Movement as a distraction to quietly impose their will on her friends without anyone realizing it. It made her sick to her stomach, mostly because there was nothing she could do to fix it.

The only thing stopping her from planting her boot firmly inside someone’s rear end the next time she heard the term “flying rats” was Goliath’s steady patience and temperance. He constantly reminded her that no one couldn’t stop them from affirming their love for each other, regardless of these new laws. He didn’t care who found out or how many jail cells he’d have to sleep in, he was committed to becoming her mate and nothing would stand in his way.

He loved her; nothing else mattered. He told her this every night, and every night she needed to hear it just to maintain her daily composure. But she was still angry.

The day of the ceremony arrived cool and comfortable. Elisa awoke at noon in her parent’s apartment, where Beth, Maggie, and Derek had also been staying, not just for moral support but protection in case word got out.

Since there were six hours until sundown, the process of getting ready was leisurely and relaxed. Elisa had decided to forgo several things considered normal for a wedding. There would be no bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girl or ring bearer, no best man or maid of honor. How would they choose one, anyway?

The ceremony itself would be short and simple with no frills or embellishments, other than Goliath and Elisa reciting vows that they had written for each other.

One thing would be done according to tradition, her father insisted, was walking her down the aisle himself. The ceremony would be taking place in the main hall of Castle Wyvern. Goliath would be standing at the fireplace with Diane with all their friends and loved ones gathered around them, and Peter would hand her off to Goliath. But, she said pointedly, he would not be giving her away as if she were property. Peter had held up his hands in acquiescence, laughing.

She wouldn’t be wearing a wedding dress; she instead wore a simple gown made of sapphire blue satin, to match the ring, with a low back and a short train. Attached to the straps was a small glass lily suspended on a silver chain that would dangle halfway down her spine. It was sleek and elegant with just a hint of slink. Beth had bought it for her in New Orleans during her post-semester vacation a few months ago, before Goliath had even asked Elisa to wed him. She and Beth often didn’t see eye to eye on fashion, but she had to admit this dress seemed like it was made for her.

She wouldn’t wear a veil or carry a bouquet, either. She did put her hair up, though, held back with a kanzashi in the shape of a blooming peony that Katana had given her as a wedding gift.

An hour before sundown, Elisa and her party loaded into two taxis and headed toward the Eyrie building. Maggie and Derek took to the rooftops and likely would arrive at the castle before them.

As they approached the building, Elisa had to admit she was feeling nervous. She tapped her foot anxiously and wrung her shaking hands.

“Wedding jitters?” Diane asked, sitting beside her.

“Yeah, I guess,” Elisa replied shakily.

Diane laid a calm, warm hand on her daughter’s cold, clasped ones. “Second thoughts?”

“No,” Elisa said firmly. “None whatsoever. I love Goliath. Marriage is unnatural for Gargoyles; he’s only doing this for me. And I want this, Mom. I really want this.” She shook her head and exhaled a trembling breath. “I don’t even know why I’m so nervous.”

Diane laughed gently. “It’s completely natural to be a little nervous, sweetheart. I needed several bellinis and a shot of tequila to marry your father, and even then, I thought I might ruin his shiny new shoes. Of course, that could have been the tequila.”

Elisa breathed a soft laugh. She looked at her mother shrewdly. “You’re really okay with this, aren’t you? Me and Goliath, I mean?”

“Of course I am, baby,” Diane said. “I want you to be happy. If Goliath makes you happy, then that’s what I want for you.”

“Dad wasn’t so sure.”

“Yes, but that’s just how fathers are, Elisa,” Diane tutted. “Remember your first boyfriend, Lucas?”

At that, Elisa laughed out loud. “Junior prom, first date, Dad sitting at the dinner table, cleaning his guns. How could I forget?”

“He did that with every boy you brought home,” Diane chuckled. “He also really liked giving those boys a rundown of all his arrests and showing them awful case files, just to shake them up.”

“Ricky ran from the house before I had time to get dressed for our date, remember? He was too scared to even look at me in class for weeks.” Elisa laughed.

Diane nodded, and they found themselves in a fit of giggles, holding each other. After a moment, they tittered to a stop.

“Goliath isn’t intimidated by Dad’s gun collection,” Elisa said.

“No, that he is not,” Diane agreed. “To be honest, honey, those boys you dated before were no match for you. You need a man who is just as strong as you are, even if he isn’t exactly a man. You’re good together. You’re a lifeline for each other. That’s something you don’t just give up on because it’s hard; the trials are what make it all worthwhile. And the two of you have had your fair share of trials. You have earned each other. Nothing else is important.”

Elisa smiled gratefully at her mother and hugged her around the shoulders.

“Thank you, Mama,” She said.

“Always, baby girl,” Her mother replied, returning her hug.

The taxis pulled into the private carport reserved for the Xanatos family. Xanatos had given Elisa and her family a code to use so they could avoid getting out in the company parking complex or in the street outside.

Peter and Beth had exited first, and Peter opened Elisa’s door and offered Elisa his hand, who smiled up at him and accepted it. She walked arm-in-arm with her father to the elevator, with Beth and her mother trailing behind, holding hands.

The sun was going down as the elevator opened to the top floor. The Maza family walked out into the open courtyard to reach the private room just off the main hall, and could see the Gargoyles on their perches in the red-gold light of sunset.

Unlike the other Gargoyles, who faced outward in their typical vigilant poses, Goliath stood inward, straight as a rail, head bowed, with his wings folded around him. According to him, this was traditional gesture for when a Gargoyle declared their intentions for another. It was also traditional to stand in the perch of one’s intended mate, but Elisa didn’t perch, so that aspect was overlooked.

Waiting for them in the private room was Derek and Maggie, who had arrived first as Elisa predicted. Owen had rather thoughtfully put out a small refreshments table for the bridal party. Xanatos had offered to throw them a big wedding with a reception and everything, which Elisa had refused in no uncertain terms. This smaller touch was much more fitting.

Also in the room were the stone figures of Angela and Broadway, crouched defensively around their egg. They were understandably protective of it and had taken to sleeping in this room during the day, as it was far more secure than standing out in the open over a one hundred and thirty story drop. Since the castle no longer had a rookery, and even if it did, keeping a single egg in there would be superfluous, the anxious parents-to-be took to guarding their precious cargo closely. When they were awake, the bundle never left Angela’s arms. Even during missions, Broadway and Angela took turns staying with the egg, keeping it within view at all times.

Elisa understood. It took a very long time for Gargoyle children to be born: six months gestation in the body of the female and then a full ten years as an egg. Elisa thought nine months was a long time to wait for a baby. She couldn’t even imagine the kind of apprehension and patience it took to wait for over a decade to meet your own child.

But, she reflected, if that’s what it took even for humans, she would do it. She would do anything to have a child. Before she met Goliath, it wasn’t something she had given much thought. Back then, she was much more focused on her career and wasn’t sure if she even wanted kids. If and when she decided she did, she figured she had plenty of time. Now that she knew it wasn’t a possibility with Goliath, it was all she could think about.

Elisa had talked to Beth and Maggie about it the night before. Maggie lamented that she wasn’t sure her augmented body was capable of bearing children or what effects her’s and Derek’s altered DNA would have on them. Beth and her girlfriend Serena, both only 21, had no interest in children. They both sympathized with her, but what could be done?

In Goliath, Elisa had found her true equal and soul mate. She was overjoyed to be with him and wouldn’t change a thing about their relationship, other than more social acceptance. Her mother was right, they had earned each other and they deserved to be happy. A child wouldn’t necessarily make it that much better, but still. Still. It would always be in the back of her mind, the one thing just out of reach.

Just as they settled in, cracks began to form in Angela’s and Broadway’s stone exterior. Instead of the normal explosive way they shed their skin, they carefully shifted this way and that to slither out of their cocoon, diligent even in sleep about protecting their offspring.

“Elisa!” Angela exclaimed upon seeing her, rising to her feet. “You look lovely!”

“Thanks, Angela,” Elisa said, embracing her.

“Are you nervous?” Angela asked as Broadway came up behind her, holding the egg.

“A bit,” Elisa said.

“I’ve never seen a human wedding before,” Broadway said. “Other than on T.V.”

“Neither have I,” Angela said.

“Well, this won’t be your average wedding, Big Guy,” Elisa said. “I dumped a bunch of the traditional stuff I didn’t think was necessary. This’ll be pretty bare bones compared to most other ceremonies.”

The door opened. Lexington, Brooklyn, and Katana entered the room with Matsuko, who had her tail wrapped around her father’s hand.

It was an odd contrast to see Brooklyn next to Lexington now, who had at one point been his and Broadway’s equal in age. Brooklyn no longer crouched when at rest anymore; that was apparently a trait among young Gargoyles or ones on the smallish side, like Lexington. Brooklyn had aged over forty years in the time stream, though it was more like twenty in equivalent human years, and his countenance reflected it. He stood much taller than before and straight as a post next to his mate, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Elisa felt a little like Lexington had gotten the short end of the stick. Compared to Broadway and Brooklyn, who were both mated and fathering children, Lexington seemed a little left out. He was always his usual cheerful self, though, and never seemed bitter about how things were.

“This is so exciting!” He said brightly. “Aren’t you excited?”

“That’s one word for it,” Elisa said wryly.

Katana grinned to see her gift in Elisa’s hair. “It suits you,” she said. Brooklyn smiled fondly at her.

“I love it, thank you again,” Elisa said.

“Goliath is in the Main Hall,” Brooklyn said, his voice deeper than it used to be. “He and the others are setting up and getting ready.”

“We’d better join them,” Derek said, nodding to the others in the room. All except Elisa and her father moved toward the door.

“Hey, guys, before you go,” Elisa said, addressing her Gargoyle companions and her family. “I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to have you all in my life. You guys have been the best friends I’ve ever had, and I don’t know how to thank you for it. I know that this is all a little alien to you, and I’m honored that you’re all a part of it. I don’t know who I would be without you and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate each of you. I love you guys.”

“Aw, Elisa,” Lexington said shyly. “We love you, too.”

“I look forward to becoming part of your family,” Angela said. “My father loves you. His joy is my joy.”

“We’d better get going,” Diane said. “I need to get into position and prepare Goliath for the ceremony.”

Elisa nodded. They hadn’t done a rehearsal. This was all being done with no prep-work, largely because the ceremony itself was going to be short and to the point, so they hadn’t felt the need for it. Elisa was rethinking this now, perhaps a bit too late.

The others left to get into their places, leaving her alone with Peter. He held out his hands for hers, and she took them, facing her father and willing herself not to cry.

Peter shook his head, smiling gently at her. “I can’t believe it.”

“What?” Elisa asked.

“My baby girl. My firstborn. Getting married.”

Elisa laughed. “Technically. Not legally.” She looked up at him, wincing. “Does that bother you?”

Peter shrugged. “Laws change. In ten years time, who knows? Maybe you’ll renew your vows with a real license in hand.”

“One can dream,” Elisa said wistfully. She looked up into her father’s eyes. “I’m glad you and Mom are being so cool about all of this. I can’t imagine what you thought when Goliath first spoke to you about it.”

“Well, to be honest, we’d have supported it regardless. Nothing Goliath could have said would have actually mattered,” Peter replied.

Elisa frowned. “Why not?”

“Because I trust my children,” Peter said. “If he had asked you and you said yes, there must have been a damn good reason for it. Even if I don’t fully understand it, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad decision. You’ve always been a good kid, Elisa. You were the one out of all your siblings I never had to worry about. You always had a good head on your shoulders. Hell, you never even had a rebellious phase, and you could have been a real monster if you wanted to be.”

Elisa flinched at the use of the word monster.

“Sorry,” Peter said. “Not what I meant. I should have said disaster.”

She playfully nudged him, laughing a little.

“You’re smart, Elisa,” Peter continued. “Smarter than your old man ever was. If you say this is what’s right for you, how am I supposed to argue?” He pulled her into a hug. “I’m here for you, kid, no matter what.”

She squeezed him tight. “I don’t deserve you guys.”

“Yes, you do,” Peter said. “You deserve the world. What kind of dad would I be if I didn’t give my little girl the world?”

A knock came at the door and Brooklyn peeked his head in. Peter and Elisa parted.

“Everyone’s ready,” He said. Elisa nodded with a shaky smile of thanks, and he withdrew.

“This is it,” Peter said. “Ready?”

“Yes.” Elisa closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, holding it for a five count. She exhaled slowly, opened her eyes, and said, “Lets go.”

He extended his elbow and she hooked her arm through it. Straightening her spine, she let her father lead her out of the room.

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My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[flickerofcalum]

once bitten, twice shy | part two

part 1 // shoot me a message if you wanna be added to a taglist!

The worst part of it all was, despite the changes, Luke could still see all the parts of Brinley that he’d fallen in love with. The parts of her he was still in love with, if he was being honest with himself. He was more fucked than he’d previously realized.

“It was the craziest thing, bro. One minute she was throwing a drink in my face and the next thing I know, she’s got her hand down my pants and her tongue down my throat. I mean, I’m not complaining, but it was confusing as hell.”

Luke rolled his eyes from where he sat on Michael’s couch, listening to him recount the previous evening’s events to Ashton and Calum, Michael hadn’t stopped talking about hooking up with Olivia since they stumbled into his parents’ home early that morning, but thankfully, he’d mostly been too distracted to really pay close attention to his friend anyway. He was unable to stop thinking about his run-in with Brinley the night before.

When he’d decided to come home for Christmas, he’d prepared himself for the worst. He’d known immediately that she wouldn’t want to seem him and honestly, he couldn’t blame her. The two of them had been together for such a long time, had their whole lives planned out with each other, and Luke had selfishly flipped the script on her at the very last minute. He hated himself for it every day.

And god, he had missed her the entire time he’d been gone, but it felt even worse now that he’d laid eyes on her. Brinley had changed so much in their time apart – she was even more gorgeous, which he really hadn’t ever thought would be possible. Though it may have been a little creepy, he’d spent half the night watching her from across the room. He couldn’t stop picturing her long legs in the red dress, the cute way her lips curved up into a smile whenever she’d teased Calum, the delicate blush on her pale cheeks whenever someone gave her a compliment.

The worst part of it all was, despite the changes, Luke could still see all the parts of Brinley that he’d fallen in love with. The parts of her he was still in love with, if he was being honest with himself. He was more fucked than he’d previously realized.

“Earth to Luke,” Ashton’s fingers snapped in front of his face, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Are you alive in there?”

Luke blinked a few times. “Sorry. I was just…thinking.”

“About Brinley?” Calum questioned bluntly, raising a dark eyebrow at him. Luke had never really been comfortable discussing Brinley with Calum, and since their break up, he’d tried to avoid the topic all together. While the dark-haired man was one of his best friends, he knew that Calum’s history with his ex went back further than Luke’s history with either of them.

Luke chewed on his bottom lip, scratching his fingers along his stubbled jaw nervously. “I just didn’t think that seeing her again was gonna be so hard, you know?” He sighed a bit. “And she wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Well, you did abandon her right before the two of you were supposed to go off to college together, mate. Can you really blame her?” Michael pointed out, barely looking up from his phone. Luke shot him a glare. He didn’t really need a reminder of what he’d done to Brinley. It was already on his mind more than he would ever admit out loud.

Ashton reached over to pinch Michael’s thigh, eliciting a shriek from red-haired boy. “Not helping, Mike.” He looked back at Luke, his eyes soft and pitying. “She probably just needs some time.”

Luke shrugged sadly. At the party, Brinley hadn’t been able to get away from him fast enough – the chances of her changing her mind about wanting to speak to him were probably slim. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that Brinley was still in love with him. Not only was she beautiful, but she also was incredibly smart, talented, funny, and had the kindest soul out of anyone Luke had ever met. If they hadn’t already, it was only a matter of time before someone else came into her life and swept her off her feet, treated her the way she deserved to be treated. Luke was afraid that he was too late.

“She looked good, though, right? Like…she looks like she’s happy,” Luke said finally. Even if she was never his again, that was all he wanted for her.

He watched as Calum shared a look with Ashton he couldn’t quite read before he reached over to pat Luke’s thigh. “Yeah, man. She’s happy.”

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The cold air stung his skin as he walked outside, causing him to curse under his breath. When he’d promised his mother he’d come home for the holidays, he’d forgotten how goddamn cold it got there. He didn’t have a lot of warm clothes since he lived in Los Angeles, so he wrapped himself up in one of Jack’s old winter coats. There was a gap between the sleeve and the gloves he was wearing, but it was better than nothing.

Normally, Luke avoided going outside at all costs in the winter, but after being locked up in his childhood bedroom for nearly a week, his mother forced him out of the house with a grocery list. Worst of all, he was without a car, so he had no choice but to make the small trek to the store on foot. It was only about a ten-minute walk, but the frigid weather made it feel like hours.

His cheeks and the tips of his ears were red by the time he arrived at the store. The heat was blasting, something he was grateful for when he walked inside. He grabbed a cart and furrowed his brows as he looked at his mother’s list. It occurred to him that he hadn’t been grocery shopping since he moved to Los Angeles. Most of the time, Ashton took care of that sort of thing or they ate take out. “Milk, egg whites, cereal…” he mumbled to himself underneath his breath as he wandered down the aisles, putting the items in the cart. He was pretty sure he had grabbed the wrong brand of cereal, but it was his mother’s own fault for sending him here.

He stood in front of the milk, thoughtfully looking between all the different types. His mother had been on a health kick lately, so would she want almond milk instead? Was he supposed to buy the store’s off brand version since it was cheaper? Luke had been standing there for far too long whenever he heard his name called out by a sweet little voice.

Brinley turned the corner, an exasperated look on her face as she tried to stop her little sister who was barreling towards Luke. He took in a sharp breath as he saw her. She was only in a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, her hair thrown messily on top of her head, but she still looked as beautiful as ever to him. “Mallory, no running! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

The man grinned as he bent down to Mallory’s level, catching her when she launched herself into his arms. Luke had always had a soft spot for the younger girl, partly because she was the spitting image of her sister. He was a little amazed at how much she’d grown since he’d last seen her, a heavier weight against him than he was used to.

“There is no way you’re Mallory,” He said teasingly. “You are far too big to Mallory.”

Mallory rolled her eyes, propping a hand on her hip as she looked at him. “That’s ‘cause I grew up, dummy.”

“Mallory, be polite,” Brinley chastised. She locked eyes with Luke for a moment before she looked away with flushed cheeks.

Luke turned his attention back to the younger girl. “My apologies, Ms. All Grown Up. Who said you could grow up while I was gone, hm?”

His smile only grew as the little girl giggled, revealing her missing tooth. “I can’t help it!” She insisted, gripping Luke’s hand once he stood up.

Looking at Brinley again, he dared to speak. “It’s good to see you. It’s a shame we didn’t get to talk at the party.”

Brinley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, looking up at him through her long eyelashes. “Oh, well… you know, Olivia kind of loses her mind when Michael’s around. I had to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.”

“Right,” Luke said with a nod, looking back down as Mallory started tugging on his sleeve.

“Luke, Luke! I’m in a Christmas play at my school. I play an angel!” She said excitedly.

Luke grinned. “An angel, huh? How fitting,” he teased, smoothing down her hair.

Mallory rose up on her tiptoes to speak to him. “Will you come see it?”

Brinley coughed. “Mal, I’m sure Luke is really busy…”

Although he knew Brinley didn’t really want him around, he hated the idea of disappointing Mallory by saying no. “I’m actually really not that busy,” he blurted out, chewing on his lip again. “I’d love to come, Mallory. If it’s okay with your sister.”

He felt only slightly guilty as Mallory turned towards her older sister with big eyes, a small pout forming on her lips. “Can he come? Pleaseeee?”

The older girl let out a sigh, giving Luke an exasperated look. “I guess so. Can you let me talk to Luke alone for a second?”

Mallory’s smile was wide as she hugged Luke around his legs for a moment. “Bye Lukey!”

“Bye, petal,” Luke said fondly.

He bit his lip as Mallory ran back over to their nearby cart, pulling the doll she’d left inside out. He’d gotten enough lectures from Brinley to know when she was about to chastise him about something, so he prepared himself as he looked at her. “Brin, look…”

“Don’t call me that,” Brinley snapped, holding one finger up to cut his sentence off.  Her gaze felt like it was piercing right through him and he had never felt quite so vulnerable in his life. “I know we’re going to be seeing each other a lot over the next few weeks, but I want to make it clear that I’m not interested in reconciling with you. You can come to her play, and we can be civil when we’re with our friends, but I don’t want anything to do with you other than that?”

At her words, Luke felt his heart jump into his throat. While he didn’t necessarily expect her to jump back into his arms, he at least thought she’d be willing to talk things out. “Can’t you just give me a chance to explain?” He said, a bit more pleadingly than he would’ve liked. “There’s so many things I have to say to you if you’d just give me five minutes.”

Brinley let out a humorless laugh. “If you wanted to explain yourself that bad, you would’ve done it by now. You can’t just show up here after all of this time and expect me to just bend to your will and listen to you.” She insisted. “I just… I just want to forget everything that happened between us. I’m done, I’ve moved on. And I suggest you do the same.”

Luke gaped after her as she stalked back over to Mallory. He’d been on the receiving end Brinley’s anger before, but he had never experienced her being so outwardly harsh. He felt like there was a gaping hole in his chest as he watched her walk away.

As he finished up the rest of his shopping, he felt numb, like he was on autopilot. The wind blew the cold air harshly around him as he walked, but it barely affected him. He’d always known that he’d fucked things up with Brinley, but it was starting to hit him that things between them were messed up beyond repair. The girl he loved wanted nothing to do with him anymore, and it hurt.

So, when Luke got home, he quickly put away the groceries before retiring to his room to deal with his feelings the only way he knew how. He locked his door, grabbed a notebook, and started writing.