#its much more manageable to set out smaller goals for myself with this projects first and not get hung up on

[magnolia-sunrise]

(hope its ok to rb) but genuinely this is kind of what kept me from posting about OCs for good five years, ive had this story constantly developing in my brain but felt like - well until i have something cohesive to show for it theres no point in spoiling it. and it took some time and introspection to realize that stories told like this - through bits and fragments and constantly developing - WILL find their audience, it does make people more interested in the characters and to see their journey and it doesnt matter how many changes or iterations they go through before or even if they arrive at some "finished" version. theres no rules that you can only write or draw something once, and it really freed me when i realized that i can show things in pieces and imperfectly and come back to those scenes and concepts again whenever i feel like it. and best of all you don't have to go through all this creative process for years entirely alone anynore.

(there are some things ive only told a few people and a lot that are my private documents only but nowadays less for fear of spoiling something that doesnt exist, and more that i realized i want to take my time and build these characters and relationships up before showing certain pivotal scenes)

lots of respect for ppl who don't post/talk abt certain oc things due to not wanting to spoil their own stuff, however i will not be doing that. by the time any of this stuff is finished it'll probably be different anyways

[genericpuff]

How should someone write for a comic? I want to start a comic but I’m a bit in the dark for how to write one

This is a very, VERY broad subject that, like the question of "how to draw comics", is very multi-faceted and impossible to tackle in one response. Especially because I myself also will not have all the answers.

What I will say is that regarding writing comics, let's say webcomics, it's not an uncommon thing in the slightest to see writers come into communities like /r/webtoons and ask for people to help them draw their passion project and to that I say... please don't LOL That's not to say that's what you were going to do at all, just wanted to throw that out there as an initial opening disclaimer. Ultimately the reality is that in webcomics, many of the people creating these projects are artists first and writers second (as one of those skillsets is way more accessible than the other), and already have their own passion projects that they're working on. So if you're going into purely writing comics, you're gonna need to manage your perspective on the industry and how it functions from a writer's POV rather than the POV of an artist who picked up writing as a consequence of wanting to get into comics.

That said, the beauty of writing comics is that, in general, it requires a lot less overhead than drawing a comic. That's not to say that it's necessarily easier, because god knows writing presents its own unique challenges, but writing a script generally takes less overhead and resources than turning that script into a comic. I can pump out 10 episodes of rough scripts for Rekindled in a day or two, with tweaking and editing along the way, but actually drawing those episodes takes weeks LMAO (and I wouldn't be able to pull off a lot of the stuff I do now without the help of my assistant @banshriek who not only provides a lot of expertise in drawing backgrounds, but lightens the workload in their help with shading and rendering! they also provide great feedback when it comes to the roughs stage <3)

So if you're starting out, just like the advice I give to budding webcomic artists, it's about starting. Build that experience, get some projects under your belt no matter the size or length that you can use to show your skills (and shop around for feedback from those willing to give it!), etc. Familiarize yourself with various genres, both writing AND reading! Like scripts for film, writing a comic script doesn't HAVE to come with the visuals even if that's the end goal, you don't HAVE to relegate yourself to finding an artist to draw your comic and then posting it online in the hopes it'll get seen. There's a lot that can be done with a simple comic script, whether it's sharing it to the world as is, adapting it to a novel, or pitching it to publishers/agents. Being a comic writer comes with a lot more flexibility in that way than being just a comic artist with no script (though, again, most indie comic artists will simply pick up writing to create their passion projects, it's a much bigger task for writers to pick up art for the sake of creating a comic).

Also establish your goals. Is your plan to write for some major industry some day? Or would you rather stick to writing for smaller productions? Just like with drawing webcomics, you should be setting your expectations in places that are reasonable to meet, rather than shooting for the top of the game right off the bat. If you're wanting to get into writing comics, your first major goal should be something like writing a complete script and NOT, say, getting to write for Marvel/DC lmao

As for the actual writing of comics, I highly recommend you read Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics, it delves into both the history and technical aspects of writing, drafting, and pitching comics in a very easy to understand way (it's a comic about making comics!)

Here are some other helpful resources I was sent by a pal recently that might also help familiarize you with the process of getting into the actual industry as a comic writer!

I hope this gives you at least a good place to start from! Again, it's ultimately a very broad topic that will vary from person to person (esp when it comes to the differences between genres and target demographics, ex. someone writing an action comic isn't likely going to use the exact same processes as someone who writes romance), but I hope this at least helps you find some direction in it all so you can establish your goals and start making steps in the direction you want to go in.

Good luck!!! <3

[faintprojection]

Darth KOTOR Post Mortem

While they're still being posted, I finished drawing @darthkotorcomic a little over a week ago. While it might not look like it, this was a deceptively challenging project for me and I find myself wanting to talk about it. So... here we go.

The comic was a challenge I set myself because I was finding the experience of a dark side play through of KOTOR 1... unpleasant. But mixed with these odd moments where the game didn't feel like it was reacting appropriately to the things it let your character do. I wanted to see how it worked out, but I needed a reason to push through. Making short comics riffing on the experience ended up being that reason. But there were a few non-obvious obstacles here.

First, color blindness. I've got some moderate red/green color blindness. At the very start I'd planned to stick to black and white to dodge this, but very quickly decided that wasn't going to work. I tried to compensate by using a color picker to get colors from screenshots, but that had its own challenges. I assume there's probably some color weirdness in the result. Not much for it.

The second is I'm one of those people who can't really picture things in their head. Which means I struggle to picture what it is I'm trying to draw. Even trying to draw a character or scene from reference the moment my eyes leave the reference it just tumbles out.

Third, I am both untrained and unpracticed. I've fiddled with programs like GIMP and Inkscape off and on over the years, but I basically haven't tried to draw since I was a teenager, and even back then I wasn't drawing much.

And finally, I have a habit of getting caught in revision loops with anything creative.

With those in mind, here are the strategies I used to get this done.

First, breaking big problems into smaller and smaller problems until a big, unmanageable task became a lot of small manageable tasks. In this case, that meant making drawing characters, drawing scenes, and posing characters in scenes separate problems. There are probably better tools out there, but I knew I could do this with some very basic vector graphics tools so that's what I did. Hence, the character template.

Inkscape doesn't do character skeletons so no arms or legs to fiddle with. Also no mouths or eyebrows. I figured I could do a decent range of expressions by manipulating the hidden rectangle you can see in the color block version, which ended up being mostly true. I never did find a good way to convey an eye roll.

The second thing I had to do was time boxing every task. I didn't use a rigid timer or anything, but if I spent more than a few hours working on any individual character or scene I'd stop, look at what I had so far, and if it at least vaguely looked like the thing I was trying to make I'd stop and move on. I just accepted that this was going to be a bit of a sloppy project. The goal was for a thing to exist, not for that thing to be perfect, or even good.

With that in mind, I also didn't spend much time writing any individual comic. I'd play the game until I had 3ish events pop out at me and spend a little time riffing on those moments before making whatever I'd come up with. Then repeat the cycle.

The last thing was actually sharing the comics here. Making them public forced them to be done. Which helped maintain forward momentum.

The result of all this is... fine. I ended up making 45 comics in 35ish days, heavily weighted towards the end. I don't know that I got much better at drawing in that time, but I did get a lot faster. Some are more amusing than others. Some characters never looked quite right. I need to work on posing (especially eye lines since Player is slightly shorter than everyone else). If I could go back I'd probably find a different way to do the dialog bubbles. And I have mixed feelings on the early choice to have Player and Bastila speak in different fonts than everyone else.

But at the end of the day, goal achieved! A thing exists. I hope it amuses you.

[nnubes]

Nu’s: 06/26/’21

About a LONG time ago, I set up reminders on my phone for posting/reposting content. It was a way to manage my presence online because putting things on a schedule helps me a lot. One of these reminders was every Sunday, uploading content to Tumblr. Posts that have my thoughts for the week that just passed and the week that we are getting into. So!! That’s what I am going to start doing and I am going to be as consistent as possible. 

We call this Nu’s (pronounced: news) It’s not necessarily news but its the best name I could come up with LOL. The goal is to post a short/medium lil ‘whatever’ that you can read and that might help or just entertain you regarding my life, followed by small photo dumps. Let’s start today:

Last week... 

A lot was going on. From the end of April up until about the middle of June, I'd been very comfortable. In all aspects of my life too. I was becoming content to the point that anything outside of the bare minimum, just seemed like a burden. I took a mental break from all of my passions and routines and got lost into the world. Yes, it’s good to have a break, but for me, once I step away from something long enough... getting back into it is ten time harder. I neglected my diet, my morning/night routines, my passions, and was more focused on the things stressing me out (work, school, other people’s burdens). Didn't realize it at the time, but I was losing my drive and ignoring whatever I was truthfully feeling. It felt weird and I ignored how I really felt about it and did pretty much whatever. BUT its not as bad as I am making it sound. I was just distracted and kind of being lazy. Ignoring EVERYTHING except for showering and smoking. Luckily, ever since June things have been just shifting, forcing me to look at life in a whole different aspect. I started to notice a pattern in the type of people that are around me now... very genuine, very inspiring. If you don't look up to the people around you or at the least admire them, get from around them and thank me later! Seeing all these changes made me also look at the changes within AND I finally started addressing how I truthfully feel. 

I am a little hurt by the bonds I am losing. I am a little hurt by the fact that I've had to make so many decisions that I knew I didn't want to but are best for me. I have entered an era where my first thought is “wow that really sucks and I really don't want to feel like this because I have to [insert task/situation that sucks]” and my second thought is “but ultimately this is helping, whether I see it now or not.” because its true! All these times where im like... down bad and feeling sad or feeling lost, it brings me back into realizing who I am, what I want and helps me to get closer to my purpose. Seriously. I know emotions are real, but they only go so far. I’ve learned that FEELING is okay, but acting impulsively or immediately becoming negative about that feeling is what makes me dwell and sit in my sadness and Im not doing that anymore. If there isn't a solution, and it’s out of my control. OR there is a solution, but I did my part, then there is really nothing else I can do, you know? I am learning that I am in control of myself, and my space and what I want. Everything outside of that gets thought...but not so much thought that it becomes overthinking. Even a complicated life can be simple. 

I never believed in astrology or the retrograde or whatever, but I am starting to only because it makes TOO much sense. I think astrology can really benefit whoever invests just a lil time into it. Don't ask me how, but I just feel that way. I don't think I will ever wholeheartedly believe in it, but little things like astrology, numerology, the concept of manifestation, religion, gives you rules and boundaries to life that can lead to you wanting to attain your goals, or feeling inspired in general. I say that to say, this retrograde... I LOVED! It sucked so bad you guys, and when it was over (which I didn't know until the day of) I cried so much because all the emotions I didn't know I was suppressing finally exposed itself. I realize my work isn't done, and i’ve done enough holding things off and using temporary things to suffice. I had a break up too, it wasn't bad at all to be honest. Short relationship that taught me a lot that literally was the whole retrograde from start to finish, which is crazy too. It taught me so much about myself and humbled me in realizing that I shouldn't be comfortable just yet. I still have a lot to learn about myself, how to communicate, my passions. I still have dreams to attain. I still have me, and I can't just get lost and live without feeling because the feelings always catch up to you. Everything that has happened sucks, but I couldn't imagine where I'd be had nothing went left or nothing happened. Probably still physically wandering while being mentally disconnected. 

THIS WEEK THOUGH, 

I'm tapped into my potential! I keep on forgetting what im capable of. I’ve done so much for myself because I'm VERY driven when I want to be. Now that I am older, I have to be the one who holds myself accountable for what I put my energy into...the people, the projects, my passions, even what I eat... and I have to be careful.  Thinking deep enough that I understand the bigger picture, but not so deep that I lose sight of the smaller pictures along the way. corny, but I hope it makes sense. 

That’s all for today, I could go on forever. BUT here are the photo dumps for this post AND I will catch you next time. 

Nu <3

[aal-archaeology]

Ph.D. Applications for Anthropology/ Humanities/ Social Sciences (with examples from a success story)

Doing a Ph.D. is a really scary thought. Especially in humanities and social sciences. Especially in today’s job market.

Here I’m going to speak a little about my approach to Ph.D. applications, why I chose to do what I did, and how I put it all together including examples.

1. The Doubt

After coming out of my Master's degree, I already had a year of research set up, so I didn’t have to think about jobs like all of my friends I had made during that degree. I watched many of them struggle to find a job offer. Some were successful in attaining a job in Cultural Resource Management, a couple got smaller jobs in local museums, but for the most part it induced a lot of stress to have come out of a Master’s degree with no prospects.

How I imagined my future at that time: I knew I didn’t want to work in a museum, I knew I didn’t like Cultural Resource Management, I knew that after all this hard work I didn’t want to end up underpaid somewhere doing data entry.

A Ph.D. has always been something that I wanted. Ever since entering the Anthropology discipline, I imagined myself working towards becoming a Professor.

Here’s what I was told when I started to consider a Ph.D. Program:

“Don’t do it” (said by someone who already had her Ph.D.)

“I wish I had gone into something with more money, even after my Ph.D. its been difficult to find stable work”

“If you’re doing a Ph.D. in social sciences, ONLY go if you are fully funded, otherwise it is not worth the financial debt”

“Most people don’t get in their first try, that's why people apply to 10+ schools”

Coming up with a plan: After hearing this, I came up with a couple different options. Plan A: Apply to Ph.D. programs, if I get into one my first try and it's fully funded then I’ll do it. Plan B: Find a job in Environmental consulting, I could put my GIS experience to use, make some money, and then try again for a Ph.D. later down the road if I wanted. Plan C: Move to Japan and live out my weeb dreams (I’m part Japanese and have a lot of family there so this wasn’t as crazy as it sounds).

I was genuinely okay with any of these options. They all involve things that I enjoy, none of them are bad options, none of them would feel like “failure” if I ended up not getting into a program. I think this step is very important because it forces you to figure out what you care about, and allows you to be open to change if plan A doesn’t work out.

2. Choosing a Program to Apply to

I knew that I didn’t just want to apply anywhere. Getting a job outside of a PhD is already hard enough, and I wanted the school that I chose to reflect the work that I would put into it. As much as we want to think that name brands don’t matter when it comes to education, it sure as heck does help when it comes to opportunity and being selected amongst 100′s to 1000′s of applicants. Therefore, why not shoot for the stars? What’s the harm in trying. For this reason, I decided to only apply to schools that:

Had a prestigious name

Had a program that supported what I wanted to study and allowed for cross-disciplinary research (Digital Archaeology focused on SE Asia)

Had an advisor that had done research paralleled to mine (whether that included SE Asia or just Digital Archaeology in general).

I started research into programs with the Ivies and went down from there, also cross-comparing programs that had been ranked as best schools for studying Anthropology.

At the time of researching, the programs that stood out the most to me were:

Stanford (ideal because it was close-ish to home, fully funds their Phd students for 5 years, has opportunity for additional funding, had professor working with digital archaeology in Asia)

Harvard (had professor working in Digital Archaeology though it wasn’t in my preferred region, also has good funding, and its Harvard)

U Chicago (traditionally one of the top schools for Anthropology, however I had heard that a lot of this is because of “legacy” professors, and not much has come out of the department in recent years. Did not have someone specifically in my region of focus)

ASU (Also considered one of the top Anthropology schools, but funding is often fought for between students)

UC Berkeley (Had professors studying Asia, but it is a public school and also has limited guaranteed funding)

I sent e-mails to advisors that I thought I could support my research (this was probably around May, when applications are due Sep-Dec).

Hello Professor______,

My name is _______ and I am interested in applying to ________’s Doctoral program in Archaeology beginning in the fall of 2020. I would like to inquire whether you are accepting graduate students for this period, as my research interests align well with your research. I received my B.A. in __________ from _________ in 2017 and am currently _______. [Enter what you’re doing now, and any relevant experience that shows what you’re interested in researching]. [Enter something about their research, and why you’re interested in working with them/why you think you would work well with them]. I am eager to continue along this path and I feel as though your experience with _______could provide an interesting opportunity for future research. I would also be interested in working with [enter any other faculty that have similar interests, this shows that you’ve done some research into the program and the school in general] For your convenience, I have attached my CV here. If you have the time, I would appreciate the opportunity to speak with you further about the program and future research.

Best,

Full name

I also researched the financial aid provided to incoming Ph.D. students. After doing this, the only schools that sounded good to me were Stanford and Harvard.

Yeah, I know, only applying to Stanford and Harvard was a “big risk,” but this is how I thought about it:

I don’t want to commit to a Phd program for 5+ years if it's not fully funded, doesn’t have a big name, and isn’t going to guarantee opportunity after graduating.

I wanted an environment where I knew I could be happy under immense amounts of pressure  (California by family, Boston by friends).

If I didn’t get in, I had back up options that honestly sounded really fun to me, so I was okay with pursuing those instead.

I didn’t want a Ph.D. just to have a Ph.D., I wanted a degree that would set me apart from others so that I could give myself the best chance for success afterward. I wanted one that, if pursued, could lead me to become a professor.

So I applied to 2 Schools.

I got scolded for this by many people... but whatever...I got in, so ha. Why spend money and time on an application for a school that you don’t really want to go to? :P

3. Applying to a Program

What an application looks like:

1. At least 3 recommendation letters:

Mine were:

Undergraduate Anthropology Advisor who has been helping me throughout the years with grant applications, etc. She knows me well, can speak well to my accomplishments. She is also a very well decorated anthropologist.

Undergraduate Professor of Geography who can speak to my GIS coursework. I’ve been updating him with my whereabouts and successes since graduating, so we have kept in touch regularly since taking his course.

My Master's dissertation advisor (he stressed me out submitting his letter 3 hours before the deadline >:| )

It’s good to have your recommendation letters come from people within the academic world. These people can write on your ability to achieve your research goals, your drive, etc. It’s okay to have maybe one letter from a workplace environment, however, it’s best to get as much street cred as you can from these letters, and this comes from Professors that know what they’re doing.

2. Curriculum Vitae (C.V.): This is important because it shows everything you’ve accomplished up to this point. This is how mine was set up:

Full Name, Current Position, Email, Phone Number

Education: University Name, City, Degree in ____

Publications: In Edited Volumes, Journal Articles, Manuscripts in Preparation

Conference and Workshop Participation: Papers, Presentations

Grants, Awards, and Fellowships:

Research Experience: Project Roles, Fieldwork

Teaching Experience

Additional Employment History

Leadership and Extracurriculars

Skills/Languages

A C.V. is a list of EVERYTHING you’ve done in your career, unlike a resume which is tailored to the specific job that you’re applying to. If you’d like a specific example, send me a DM. 

3. Personal Statement: This is where you tell them why you want to be there and what makes you qualified. Why should they consider you?

Personal Statement Example

      1st paragraph, introduce the program and your research interests: I am applying to _____ for admission to the Ph.D. program in Anthropology with a focus in Archaeology. My research interests are to explore [the consequences of ..... on the environment and human responses to environmental change] in [region of the world], and how these actions of the past can be visualized through the use of remote sensing and GIS applications to archaeology.

      2nd paragraph, why you’re interested in what you’re doing: I learned the value of digital applications in archaeology through my undergraduate and master’s degree. [Digital archaeology] is appealing to me because [.........]. I first became interested in [example of why you’re interested in the topic/what inspires you].  After witnessing this, I began to seek out opportunities to partake in similar research.

    3rd and 4th paragraph, what makes you qualified to pursue this degree?: I have many research experiences that qualify my pursuit of a Ph.D. dedicated to using digital methods in Anthropological research. [Talk about your undergrad experience, do some name-dropping of professors you’ve worked with], [why did these experiences inspire you to take the next step?], [how are you where you are now because of them?]

   5th paragraph, what are you doing now?

   6th paragraph, why this school in particular?: This is where you name drop the professor you are interested in working with, talk about how their research aligns well with yours by mentioning specific things that they’ve done such as theoretical approaches. What are you interested in doing that would fit well within this program? Are there any facilities on campus that you are particularly eager to work with? Show that you’ve done your research.

   7th paragraph, what do you plan to do after you get your Ph.D. from this institution?: With goals of continuing archaeological research in ________ and expanding off the networks that I have established in _______, ________’s doctoral program in Anthropology is the ideal match to further my career as a Digital/Landscape Archaeologist. The Ph.D. in Anthropology at _______ allows for _________[reasons why you like the program]. Ultimately, my postgraduate goals are to remain in academia by continuing research and gaining a university faculty position. My foundation in archaeology gained in my undergraduate, graduate, and ______experiences have equipped me with a unique set of abilities to offer to ______’s Anthropology graduate program, and I look forward to the opportunity to exchange ideas with faculty and students alike.

Have your resume and statement looked over by as many eyes as you possibly can. It took me a good 6-10 revisions before settling on something that I liked.

4. Let the professors that you’ve been in contact with know

This puts you at the front of their minds when application review comes around. They’ll be like “oh yeah, this person messaged me about this.” I hadn’t spoken to the professors that I reached out to since those first few exchanges back in May, so sending this message was very valuable to remind them of my existence.

This email can be as simple as: Hi Professor ____, I hope you have been well since we last spoke. I am writing to inform you that I have submitted my application to _______. Since our last chat I’ve been [whatever you’re up to now that's relevant]. I look forward to hearing from _____ soon. Best, Me.

5. Productive Waiting

Yay, you’ve submitted! That was hard, but you made it through. Time to start diving into those other plans you’ve been thinking about. What will you do if you get into your top school? What will you do if you don’t get into your top, but you do get into your 2nd or 3rd choice? What if you don't get into any of them?

Remember that none of these options are bad, and in this world, you have to be open to change and welcome it. A Ph.D. is a really long commitment, and it doesn’t have to happen right away.

If you get in, accept only if:

It has the research you’re looking for

It has an advisor that’s supportive of what you’re doing

It’s transparent about what it offers its students

The current students are happy with the culture of the program and quality of life

The location is something you're comfortable with (for me having family nearby was a very important factor)

The money you are offered is enough to live the lifestyle you need to maintain good mental health

There is an opportunity for networking and expansion of your research outside of the university

As always, feel free to reach out with any questions at @aal.archaeology on Instagram or DM here! I’m happy to share my documents with you.

Happy writing!

-Lyss

[deitiesofduat]

BASTET: “As it turns out, the project has been due for this type of update for some time -- which the artist @tenicola​ (aka @teninini, colacanvas, and "Teni") finally got around to, after having enough headspace to approach it. 

“And just to avoid worrying anyone seeing this -- nope, Teni is not dropping DEITIES project anytime soon. She's not going anywhere, and neither am I! Or the rest of my pantheon! 

“But Teni mentioned she was worried about projecting that outcome, due to how inactive she's been online, and how quiet she's been about progress. She's hoping this update can add some clarity on what's actually going on, and what to expect going forward.”

“The rest of this update is below the cut, as text mixed with panels. It's on the long-ish side, and while it's best to skim through everything for context, you can also skip to the section "SHIFT IN [PUBLIC] SCOPE" if you just want to get to the point.

“Without further ago, let's start with some history that Teni wanted to share for full context -- again, under the cut!”

--------------------------------------------------

[ HISTORY OF DEITIES PROJECT ]

BASTET: “DEITIES Project -- and the main story for said project (Deities of Duat: The Chaos Seal), which is intended as a long form webcomic -- has been in development, privately and offline, since late 2014. Teni meant to keep it private for as long as possible, until she felt “ready” to share it.

“However, she was motivated to take the plunge and reveal the project's existence with these color tests and with this comic, as part of her coursework for her visual storytelling class. You know the one…”

“The surge of encouragement from both her classmates and her followers motivated Teni to create this blog -- the one you're visiting right now! It was Teni's full intention to use this blog to share progress on the main story, as a full-length webcomic, while building and engaging her audience.”

“However, along the way were a few... unforeseen obstacles that reared their head. Some obstacles were mitigated by making steady updates to the story and blog, but some were much more challenging, and she thinks it only fair to disclose some of them for context...”

--------------------------------------------------

[ OBSTACLES OF LIFE ]

BASTET: “The first obstacle was the sudden onset of chronic lower back pain -- just before the launch of the DEITIES blog in 2016. She still has it to this day, and says this ache makes it unbearable to sit or stand in the same position for too long. Among several inconveniences this causes, it also means she can only draw in short bursts before her stamina taps out, or before needing pain relief -- like heat, ice, and pressure.”

“As you might imagine, it's not the most fun condition to have when you enjoy drawing! And it's taken a while for Teni to cope with this daily frustration. She's still planning to find answers and a treatment to help reduce it, but has also accepted that she's been dealt this hand -- not unlike other creatives that deal with some form of chronic pain.”

“The back pain was one obstacle, but having to deal with different interpersonal struggles and friction was another. Some spiked her usual feelings of anxiety, and in one relationship's case, made her question whether or not the project was worth continuing. (On that note -- Teni does not want to call out anyone or guilt them, she just wanted to bring it up as a factor for the larger point she's making — just bear with us!)

“The third big obstacle a few years back, was having a day job that had an... ‘unfriendly’ work environment, and was paying a lot less income than she fairly deserved. And near the beginning of 2018, she was laid off from said job, putting a halt to any income she was earning only a week after signing the lease to her first apartment!”

“Teni didn't go into detail about those months of job hunting and taking tech classes, though she explains bits of it in previous updates. But the lack of financial stability at the time hung over her head constantly. The way she put it was: ‘It was hard to motivate myself to indulge in something I loved, but that didn't provide income, while I was in the middle of an extended job hunt.’"

“She didn't expect all these obstacles in succession when she launched the project. And she admits that she felt a combination of frustration, impatience, and disappointment for not updating the project at the same pace she started.”

“This was not because of any pressure from followers -- she told me you all have been incredibly understanding and patient! It was because of the fact that the project had been publicly promoted for so long, and she set her own expectations and goals so high -- without factoring the likelihood of life getting in the way. There was also the lingering fear of disappointing a lot of people, if one day she had no choice but to stop the project for her own livelihood and health.”

“Ah, why am I adding to this creative angst -- Teni didn't want this to be a sob story! I'll move on haha.”

--------------------------------------------------

[ IN A BETTER PLACE ]

BASTET: “Thankfully, in spite of all those obstacles, things are turning around for Teni in this new decade. A year ago she found a job with a feasible income to support herself, and an overall healthy work environment within her team. She's also fostered healthier relationships with her family and friends, and even made closer connections with the best friends she's had for ages!”

“And while her back pain is… still there, it's a manageable part of life that she's still determined to find answers for and improve.

“Not to mention that in the past year, she's been able to work on other projects, more quietly, and indulge in drawing other characters and fanart for fun. She's consumed more of her favorite media in the interim as well to support others, and to sate her own curiosity and interests.”

“Moving on to how this relates to this update, now that we have some backdrop for what's been happening...”

--------------------------------------------------

[ AREAS OF INTEREST ]

BASTET: “Again, Teni is not dropping DEITIES Project -- she admits the fear of having to make that call had crossed her mind, but it's not something she thinks she'll need to reconsider right now. Her bigger concern has been how to approach this project publicly, moving forward. And after giving it some thought, she's made some observations that may shed light on this answer.

“Teni wanted me to emphasize the idea of her doing a ‘reset’ for the public presentation and development of DEITIES Project -- not to change or hide the development thus far, but to reframe the project's scope -- what it's focus and goals are, more or less.

“...Oh-- looks like she made some visuals to help with this -- you two mind lending me a hand?”

“You all might have figured it out by now, but Teni absolutely loves drawing character art and designs. She also likes panel-style comics, as well as the dialogue, expressions, and SFX that comes with it. She can work on them offline without prompting, but she also loves sharing what she comes up with!

“What she's less fond of sharing is some of the other... *ahem* unmentionables and time-consuming work that comes with traditional comics. Things that take hours to set up and hours to practice, let alone execute for the final product -- an unfortunate hurdle when you're a one-person production team, and you can only draw in small bursts at a time.”

“She initially tried to put off the more indulgent art that she liked, in order to focus the less-favored obligations... but she realized that this just made her feel demotivated to work on anything, and less got completed as a result.”

“Overall, Teni's coming to terms with both her own limitations and her personal drive, and wants to shift her priorities accordingly for the project -- even if it goes against the grain of what's considered ‘good’  or well-meaning advice for a personal project.”

--------------------------------------------------

[ SHIFT IN [PUBLIC] SCOPE ]

BASTET: “Instead of treating the DEITIES main story/comic as the ‘end game’ goal of this project -- and pouring all her available energy in preparing for it and hyping it up -- Teni wants to shift the main story as a future, and more private ambition, until she's in a better place to execute it and share it publicly.

“No, she does not have any estimate or TBD date for when this will be, or when she'll make public updates on it’s progress or launch. It may even remain private indefinitely. And for now, she's okay with this.

“Because (1) The main story "The Chaos Seal" is not the only story that's worth telling from this project. Smaller side- and backstories, and even small character interactions, have their merit as well -- something Teni learned from drawing askbox responses, completing memes with the cast, and character exploration with friends. And with the main story not sucking up all the oxygen, she thinks it'll leave room to tackle the others more easily -- whether they're planned ahead of time or are spur-of-the-moment, and as comics or different formats.

“(2) Removing the DEITIES main story from its public pedestal will also allow her to work on other non-DEITIES things as they crop up -- and with less irrational guilt to indulge in things that aren't ‘priority’ for completing the comic. Meaning more art of her original characters, fanart, giftart, collabs, memes and bandwagons, and other smaller projects. Heck, she might even give herself permission to relax.

“And (3), perhaps most importantly -- Teni realized that DEITIES Project shouldn’t have to start and end with the so-called main story, and placing the story aside wouldn’t mean the project suddenly becomes a waste of time -- as she originally worried about projecting when her life took a twist.

“DEITIES Project just… is. It already exists, and the characters and world already exist -- with or without a completed webcomic to validate that existence.”

“But anyway, I side-tracked. The point is, Teni's planning to shift DEITIES project to just that -- a project, with room to continually grow, explore, and experiment with, and to engage with others as she feels comfortable, without the pressure of having a giant epic to tell.

“So while the main story and comic is going to shift to something more gradual and private -- the way it was originally meant to be -- this shift in scope will help adjust the project’s longevity, and also set the stage for some changes to be made around the blog, and for the public presentation for DEITIES.” 

“However, that content will be less scheduled and remain sporadic -- things will ‘happen when they happen,’ but what Teni has in mind will hopefully be enjoyable for those following the project.”

--------------------------------------------------

[ WHAT'S NEXT-- ]

BASTET: “Here’s the thing: we actually had more to share, but Teni made the call to save it all for another day -- to avoid making this update longer than needed, and to also avoid announcing any plans prematurely. No need to risk building pressure all over again or burning out, right?

“She asks for everyone’s patience and to give her another few weeks to re-calibrate things, address pressing questions, and work on some overdue housekeeping on the blog -- and to just draw whatever pops to her mind, cuz hey, why not? After that, she'll wait until any project items are already in the works and on the road to completion, before she announces that they're coming -- an ‘under-promise but over-deliver’ approach.

“But one thing you can look forward to are more featured deities from the main cast and the supporting cast -- including those colors tests she's been working on since last year, and then some! There's no shortage of inspiration or fodder, so to speak.”

--------------------------------------------------

[ IN CONCLUSION ]

BASTET: “So to recap! DEITIES Project will be shifting its scope and priorities, so that the main story and comic is developed more privately, and more characters and lore will be explored online at a more manageable pace. On the surface, that may not look like much is changing, but hopefully this update can make expectations more clear.

“Teni knows that there may be some in the audience who may feel down about this decision, or who were looking forward to the webcomic to be completed above all else. She says that's totally fair, and encourages anyone looking for stories to check out her recommendations. But she also hopes you'll understand, and be willing to stick around for other content in the meantime.”

"That brings Teni -- and me -- to one final point. Which is to sincerely thank you for all of your support, encouragement, and patience these past few years. In addition to things that are still in the works, there's a lot of content on this blog that had been inspired by everyone's engagement, which we can't thank you enough for!

“Teni and I, and everyone else from the pantheon, are excited about what’s next for Deities of Duat and DEITIES Project. And we’re looking forward to sharing more content, more freely, in the upcoming year for you all to enjoy.”

[the-starryknight]

I'm probably late to this so will give a selection and hopefully find one you haven't answered! 3, 5, 6, or 7? ❤❤❤

Ah, this is perfect! Thank you for asking, Tacky <3

3 - Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Ahh, I answered this one here, but I’ll add to it because I’ve been thinking a bit more.  I’d probably never write a kid!fic (one where their kids feature prominently), as I 1) have no idea how to write children and 2) don’t particularly want kids of my own.  I really enjoy kids in other people’s writing, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to do them justice. 

5 - Share one of your strengths.

I think I’m halfway decent at coming up with ideas for things, at least when I’m in a creative mood! 😂 I like to sort of let an idea sprout other smaller ideas until I have a little fic in front of me.  The issue then comes when I want to transfer said idea into an actual piece of writing!

6 - Share one of your weaknesses.

Something I’m really trying to improve in my writing is my ability to describe complete physical spaces.  I’m a playwright by training and the set... is the director’s job!!  So one of my main goals with A Room Up There is to force myself to practice slowing down and giving attention to the rooms and the things in them, rather than just skipping from the base of the steps --> “At the top of the stairs,” which is what I tend to do, and which, I think, can throw my readers out of the space.  

7 - Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Oooh Tacky, you spoil me with these lovely questions!  <3 

I’m not sure if this little series of paragraphs is my favorite, but it’s a passage I’m a bit proud of, from the latest chapter of A Room Up There (it’s not too much of a spoiler!).  It’s one of the first bits I wrote for the fic, though shifted and changed up quite a bit from its original placement, but here we are:

Draco harumphed, crossing his arms and stomping away, into the parlor. The hearth was unlit, as he had left it, and the pattern of ash was undisturbed.  The chairs were in the same place, and the curtain, damned as it was, hovered innocently in the window frame.   Draco took a moment to run his hand over the gorgeous brocade sitting chairs, fingers tracing the neat seam over the chair’s back edge.  This would be a career-making project, if only they could manage the murdering-house bits of it.

These chairs, for example, must be at least two hundred years old, never reupholstered, but made with a luscious fae-woven silk brocade, with the inbuilt anti-shred charms.  Draco found himself distracted, peering down at the neatly carved front legs, built from the same dark oak that the coffee table was made from.  He ran a hand over a tiny chip in the front leg of one of them, smoothing his finger over the tiny splinter.  They were in such gorgeous condition.  Oh, all the glorious things he could do with this house if he stayed on the project.  

In the foyer, he could hear Bill casting basic revealing charms.  He stood, pulling himself away from the chair with a sigh, and gently ran a hand over the carving at the top of the seat as he drifted back towards Bill.  He could imagine this room bustling with tea or drinks, a flurry of visitors taking off cloaks and hats and settling in the parlor for a fun night in.  He tugged his own cloak off, eyes lost in the vision of snow shucked off by the door, umbrellas deposited in -- well, they would have to replace that awful troll’s leg stand, some museum would surely jump at the chance to have it.  He let his own cloak hang on the ancient coat rack by the door, tucking the folds in so it would settle neatly, and turned to Bill.

Thank you for asking!! Here’s the list :)

[angeltriestoblog]

I figured out what I want to do with my life! And made a vision board!

It came to me in a flash, really. One minute, I was watching a handpainted narration of the life and death of one of the greatest painters of all time, and next thing you know, I've abandoned it completely and started furiously typing away at my laptop about what I envisioned myself to be in five years' time. And I know I've had my fair share of false alarms in life: I thought I had what it takes to be a lawyer after seeing Legally Blonde for the first time while on my way to a school field trip, and seriously considered pursuing a career as a fashion blogger or MTV VJ because I was kind of fed up with school.

But this one just makes sense. Advising and assisting clients in producing content, collaterals, and campaigns according to their business objectives and based on collected data! It marries my love for writing, my knack for snooping around (the academic term is research!), and the specialty in technology and management my university ensures I'll have at the end of my four-year degree. i have yet to see how it’ll allow me to give back to society since that’s also a factor I want to consider in looking for a dream job but I’ll make it work. I found it hard to sleep that night, thanks to this nerdy, giddy kind of adrenaline rush I had. I broke down this big idea into smaller and smaller action steps until all I had left was a refined list of ideas and intentions, and a splitting headache.

I needed to make sure I was constantly reminded of their existence so all my choices and decisions would serve as a step closer to reaching all of them. So I caved in to the wishes of the "law of attraction" side of the Internet, and created my very own vision board! Simply put, this act of visualization is a powerful technique that can be used to manifest desires and reach goals. Our subconscious minds mainly recognize symbols and images: by merely looking at our vision boards everyday, subliminal messages are being sent to our brains, which will encourage them to work tirelessly to achieve the statements we are feeding to them. I can't find any explanation for this that's less abstract but since many people seem to swear on it and I have a lot of free time and printer ink, I figured why not, right?

It was convenient that I had this small corkboard from Daiso already stuck to one corner of my bedroom wall with several layers of double-sided tape. It used to be a year-long calendar of birthdays but I realized that I've never referred to it and often have to rely on either Facebook reminders or stock knowledge--there is no in between. All I had to do was to look at my list of goals, and compile photos that correspond to each of them, cut them up and arrange them in an aesthetically pleasing manner. You'll see below that I lacked the stereotypical luxury car and beachfront mansion with a walk-in closet and that's because I decided to focus on my goals for the next five years so it looks even a little bit more achievable.  

Here's the finished product, along with explanations for each picture, to make this how-to more personal and to also hold myself accountable.

 Make my girl Jenna Rink and everybody at Poise proud by writing for a magazine | I had listed a specific one at the time, and if you follow me on Twitter and Instagram, you already know what it is and how this endeavor turned out - but on this blog, I'll shroud it in a little cloud of mystery for now and talk about it more in a future post. I'm very happy producing content for this space of mine and have no intention of stopping any time soon. But at the same time I know that I'd be missing out if I didn't take the chance to be part of a community that leads me to like-minded individuals, allows me to grow even more in my craft, and "gives creators a space to speak their minds and push the limits of their artistry, without imposing any restrictions or expectations", as I stated in my application form.

 Be active in three organizations next school year | (I had to blur one of them out because I'm not a member yet and I don't want to jinx it.) I know it's bold of me to assume that we'll be returning to school any time soon, but if we are ever lucky enough, I want to outdo myself when it comes to the orgs I'm a part of. I have been a good follower throughout my first two years of college but now I believe it's my time to try my hand at leading a group of people and being more involved in the conceptualization and execution of projects.

 Go on a trip to Europe | Not even just a specific group of countries anymore (I used to be a France, Italy, Spain supremacist)--I mean the entire continent! (But then again, with its rich history and culture, picturesque tourist spots, diverse cuisines... even the sheer adrenaline rush that comes with being in a land completely different from the one you come from, how could anyone not want to go?

 and 12. Get the job of my dreams | I actually nicked these photos from the website of a cooperative I want to work for once I graduate from college. I know that I can't plan out the rest of my career trajectory as early as now: things are bound to change at some point, but I hope that I stay in a field that combines creativity and business strategy to craft campaigns, create meaningful content, and market solutions to brands.

 Expand my network | I acknowledge how knowing people who know people who know people can open windows of opportunities that I wouldn't have been able to have anywhere else. But I also look forward to building genuine connections with people from all sorts of industries. Talking to the same circle of friends can sometimes feel like you're trapped in an echo chamber: there is certainly much to learn from others' viewpoints.

 Volunteer to teach kids | I don't think the written word could have changed my life as much as it did, had it not been for the presence of English teachers who believed in the power of the language to shape the minds of the youth. I guess this is just me trying to give back and help the next generation express their ideas and bring them to life by channeling my inner John Keating.

 Maintain a clean workspace that is conducive to productivity | Especially during these days, I spend a solid 18 out of 24 hours sat at my desk, trying my best to make magic happen. It's very important that I keep it a constant and active source of inspiration, free from any distractions, and at the right level of comfort. Although it's not as minimalist as I hoped it would be and my table is about an inch too high for my liking, I'm still pretty satisfied!

 Document memories consistently, be it through a physical or online journal | Speaking of clearing out my room, I recently found around 20 notebooks I had filled up over the years. Though maintaining them must have been such a hassle especially as I got older and reading through them was a distraction from completing the task at hand, I am thankful I painstakingly chronicled everything going on in my life and kept them in good condition. Seeing the goals I had set for myself all those years ago and how I achieved most of them without making a conscious effort has inspired me to do my older self a favor by putting in the work now so she can reap the rewards. (While I'm on this note, can anyone recommend a good app for journaling? I keep all my current entries in my Mac's Notes app because even though I am more of an analog person, I seemed to have lost the patience and persistence required to keep a physical journal. But at the same time, I'm scared of my laptop suddenly cr*shing and wiping out everything I had stored)

 Stay focused on my work always | I didn't know how to show this without having to spell it out in words so I Photoshopped my face onto the head of a woman working in a cafe because those who study in coffee shops along Katip always look like they're getting stuff done.

 Keep learning about the world even when I'm outside of the classroom | And this is not limited to frequenting the nearby museum, although that does sound like a great idea right now. This could also mean attending seminars, workshops, and talks, buying books and binge-watching documentaries or YouTube videos about a topic that I find interesting, engaging in discourse with someone (plus points if they have a different viewpoint!)

 Write my own book | Before I even found out that humans were destined to pick a career and work until they died, I already knew that I wanted to spend my days as a writer. Specifically, I wanted to see my name on the cover of a book: By Angel Martinez. (Please refer to the 4:32 of this video and look at how far this dream actually goes back.) But once I realized that I wanted to enter the world of business, I thought I would have to give this up altogether. Thankfully, I now know that one's ability to get published is not reliant on their career--I mean, even beauty gurus get book deals these days. I'm not really sure what it's going to be about but I'd honestly be down for anything: even if it's just a compilation of my best entries on this blog.

13. Go all out when I take myself on self-care dates | I'm talking about picnics at the beach, with a basket full of fruits, a posh looking hat, and a good piece of classic literature! Or fancy dinners for one complete with as many glasses of red wine as I can down! People watching at Downtown Disneyland like my paternal grandmother in hand, with a plastic bag of souvenirs on one hand and a cream cheese pretzel on the other! (The possibilities are endless and I'm already mapping most of them out.)

14. Be financially stable enough to re-enact that one scene in Pretty Woman where Vivian Ward struts down the streets of Beverly Hills in a chic white dress and black hat, an endless number of shopping bags in tow | The part where I humiliate a sales lady who snubbed me the day before because she didn't think I could afford what she was selling by saying, "You work on commission, right? That's right. Big mistake, big, huge." is entirely optional.

I also included some two inspirational sayings that were originally laptop wallpapers from The Everygirl. I feel like they perfectly sum up the attitude I want to have as I forge my own path and accomplish everything I have set out for myself. If I was somehow able to convince you that this activity serves as the perfect springboard for all your dreams and aspirations, here are a couple of tips that could hopefully help you make yours!

Be ready for some intense introspection | Though it may look like a simple arts and crafts activity at the surface, making an effective vision board simply cannot be achieved if you're not willing to do some much needed reflection and watch it balloon into a full-on existential crisis. Identify which areas of your life are most important to you and how you would like to see them evolve over a period of time.

Specificity is key | The trick is to make your goals as concrete as possible, then translate them into visual elements. I know some people who wanted to get into particular universities, who have Photoshopped their names onto acceptance letters and pinned those to their corkboards. As stupid as that may sound in retrospect, I reckon it's an elaborate way of claiming something that's right within your reach.

Design it any way you want | Don't feel pressured to make it look like it's worthy to be on someone else's Pinterest because that's exactly how you lose sight of why you're doing it in the first place. The only person your final output has to resonate with is you.

Don't get discouraged | Although a vision board can attract positive energy and manifest your intentions to the universe, one thing it isn't capable of doing is granting your wishes in an instant. Don't be upset if what you have cut out and stuck on has yet to happen: I truly believe in the saying that the more you look for something, the more it seems to avoid you. Instead, continue to work hard and focus on the progress that you have already made.

Have you made a vision board of your own already? How has it turned out, and how many of the things you had put up have come true? I know you may be a complete stranger from the other side of the world but I'd be happy to hear from you anyway! Wishing you love and light always, especially during trying times such as this. Wash your hands, pray for our frontliners, and check your privilege!

[vgperson]

What Did I Translate in 2018?

[robobertt]

Teamwork(Based on kolb cycle)

As an up and coming creative technologist, I find myself both confused and interested at the same time. With so many lessons to learn and each class challenging my views, I find that the concept of team work was the largest challenge so far. In creative tech team work has seemed to become the norm in every single one of my class which is something that is sometimes difficult. Learning the many aspects of team work has been the main point that I have reflected on after the few weeks working on multiple projects. How the team works, team mates and simply getting along with others.

Having just started my life as a creative tech student, the projects I have been through and are currently doing are limited. But the ones I did do mostly included team work which presented an obstacle as I wasn’t used to this. During the weeks we were doing cards for play I found working a team all be it very small, forced me to be louder in many scenarios. The reason being since it’s hard to voice one’s ideas and opinions if your drowned out by others around you. This idea was also bought up in class which only outlined it further. This goes with out saying but the more people in a group, the harder it is to present ideas. This is true for the most part but there are exceptions to the rule. An example is my group which although had the same problem, it was a much smaller group then the others housing only four people.  While we were conveying our ideas, we always came back to the same person that first talked. This doesn’t mean that it was only persons idea we went with, but it does make the situation predictable as the way my team worked was first come first serve. Although this did limit how we thought, it also meant that we were able to work more efficient as a group. This was necessary as we only really had four people in the group.  

Team work is a large part of developing something new. If there are problems in the group your bound to find problems in the finale project, rather it’s a small fight in the group to an all-out war, it almost never ends well.  Since team work is such a broad subject I found many articles, essay and theories on the matter. One that caught my eye was from the academy of management review, with a section of the article that specified roles in cooperation and team work. Mostly focusing on trust the authors Gareth R Jones and Jenifer M. George talk about values and the different types of trust. Trust being a large factor in working with teams, the article acted as a reference point. Having team mates implies a portion of trust even if that in itself is limited. Whilst performing cards for play I had to trust people that I had very little knowledge about, I didn’t know who they really were or how their work ethic was. This was one of the main experiences I went through during my time in creative technologies and possibly the first lesson I learned. When talking about the values in team work, this is entirely dependent on what the project is, the reason why you or your group is interested in this and if it’s feasible to do so.  In my opinion this what defines the value aspect of team work. An example of this is when basing your project by a theme. Many people tend to only become interested in things they can relate to such as food and or age. Finding a common interest can be sometimes difficult. My group skipped from idea to idea till we finally landed on cooking, even then we were still not sure if this is what we truly wanted. The main thing we valued was passing the assignment. Although simple it was needed to give us that ‘value’. I do how ever think passing because you want to is shallow. This in its self could probably be remedied by just working on a project you have passion for.

Just as important as the team is the productivity and effectiveness. This was how we spent the first week of course and is just finding people with different skill sets to provide for the team. This can sometimes go well but can just as easily fall apart. The teams I have been in were somewhat forced as my first project was me and other guy’s I met on the first day and my second project were people that were left without a place like myself. This however all worked out in the end but if I were to choose the people, might have been more productive. In an article by Hamid Tohidi productivity and be done through leadership, Goals and of course team work. I found that my groups consistently had at least one person that took charge when needed. I think this was necessary as if we didn’t do this we might have been left without direction. With the leader ship in place goals also can also begin to come up. The goals help in confirming the direction making sure that the entire team is in track. And finally, when the team begins to work together, we see productivity being efficient in the work. I tend to procrastinate, and creative technology has forced me to be more productive to ensure that I’m not holding back the team.

Going back and re-evaluating how one works in a team is necessary. Much like the Kolb cycle, there is also a set cycle for team work e.g. Finding others, placing roles, sorting out differences and ultimately setting up a goal. I find that with out good team work your options are more limited, each person lacks drive, and you begin questioning if your really can work together as a team. I found this to be the biggest lesson during my few weeks in creative technology. It’s almost no wonder that team is such a large priority in business, projects and life in general and I hope this post shows how much if reflected on how team work has changed my way of working with others.

sources

ones, G. R., & George, J. M. (1998). The Experience and Evolution of Trust: Implications for Cooperation and Teamwork. The Academy of Management Review, 23(3), 531. doi:10.2307/259293

ohidi, Hamid. (2011). Teamwork productivity & effectiveness in an organization base on rewards, leadership, training, goals, wage, size, motivation, measurement and information technology. Procedia CS. 3. 1137-1146. 10.1016/j.procs.2010.12.185.

[sirens-gemberry]

You’ve Unlocked a Cutscene from “Soren Ren-egade Sharp”!

Continue?

>Yes

No

Warnings are for the following: Blood, Violence, and slight alcoholism! Stay wary, Farmer! 

There's a couple reasons why my sister never let me into the mines. For one thing, it was really fucking cold. Like- holy shit my fingers are numb kinda cold. For another thing, I wasn't very strong. So mining was always a bit of a chore for me, compared to my impeccably strong and equally strong willed sister. 

Yet, when I found out she had gotten sick not too long after my arrival to the Valley, I took it upon myself to venture down for her. She protested briefly, and we argued about it for a good hour or two, before eventually sighing and shaking her head. “... Fine, it might help you get stronger anyway. Just stay within the first 20 floors at most, okay? Don’t forget to be home before midnight, either.” Yasmine had said to me, as her friend- and at the time crush- Harvey was preparing medication in the next room over. He was humming a tune under his breath of a song I couldn’t quite place. I nod, a determined grin on my face and the usual pep in my step as I wished my sister well and turned to head off for the task ahead of me. Yasmine’s quest was simple. Get 24 copper ores and bring them to Demetrius. Now, this particular week we were a bit short on copper, as we had been upgrading our tools for the next season. Normally my more experienced sister took on this task, but with her being basically forced to rest- that left me in charge. Despite as confident as I sounded to her, I was actually a bit nervous. After all, there were more than enough times I had seen my sister covered in bruises and bite-marks. First time I saw this, I joked that she hooked up with some dwarf in the mines, before she briefly socked my shoulder and gave me a bruise to remember. She briefly told me of her expeditions in the mines, and all of them sounded fascinating- if not terrifying. Not to mention unhealthy, as she had far too many stories of these trips for just staying a little over a year.

That was a few hours ago. Right now, I’m currently resting my head against the elevator wall, going down… down… and further down, all the way to level 20. She had floors up to level 65, and I was half tempted to challenge myself further by going down to floor 30… But I figured going 5 floors beyond her maximum requirement was more than enough to make her proud of me. I am stronger than she thought, just watch! I yawn, softly, shaking my head. I should've gotten more sleep last night. I reach into the bag, taking out an energy drink I snatched from my sister’s fridge on the way out before chugging the whole thing down. If it killed what little my immune system could deal with, eh, whatever. The bell dinged just over my head, drawing me from my thoughts as I slipped the now empty can back into my bag before trudging onward into the dark mines. Only a few lights shone overhead, and unfortunately for me, I only had a few torches. ‘If I want to be able to see well, I’ll have to carry what I have.’ I mused to myself ‘Hold the torch up, and keep pressing forward.’ So that's exactly what I did. I hum softly, occasionally setting the torch down beside me to take my pickax out and swing at a copper filled stone rock, grinning when I found a few pure pieces and sticking them into a smaller bag I brought with me for good measure. I hear a gentle squelch behind me, and I frown. ‘Monsters. Why wouldn't there be monsters?...’ I think with a dead panned expression, taking out the rusty sword my sister had given me a few days after I moved here. I figured I would use it more if some vines got in my way, but I sigh and twirl the sword in my hand before whirling around and swinging the damn thing… straight into the gut of a small, green slime. “...Oookay that looks vaguely… unpleasant.” I say to it, gently retracting the sword. I stick out my tongue with a slight groan to see some slime had stuck to it, before yelping and blocking its path when it jumped at me. “Damnit- okay you want death?! Then death comes for you!” I swing it again, harder this time, and it chops clear through the slime, yet it hardly seems phased. I sigh, and shake my head. Stupid liquid-y slime… whatever. I had to get this done, and get out.   It took a few more minutes of me aimlessly flailing about with this rusty ass sword, but the slime finally fell apart into a goofy puddle at my feet. I sigh, shifting my boots until they feel relatively normal on the ground again, and keep walking.

A lot of the trip ended up in similar escapades, mining with a slight struggle to pick up the pickax over my head, and dealing with slimes and occasionally what I referred to as ‘the rock crab’. Sure, they dropped decent loot, but it felt unnecessary. Eh, I just needed to get what I came for and dip. I had to remain focused on the task at hand, or it'd be more than likely I'd never get out of this pit. With that in mind, I kept going. So much so, that I didn’t notice I passed my original goal. Or if I did- I wanted to keep going to challenge myself further. It must have been around level 28 or so, after going through and collecting the last of the ore I needed, that I decided to head further down. Who knows, I might find something pretty for lil’ Abigail. She did mention in passing that she liked amethysts… That was… likely one of my many stupider mistakes. That list may be long, but the point still remains. It was mostly a normal room, wide and full with rocks along its edges. Monsters sat in the middle, as if waiting for my arrival. I sigh, swinging my pick until it was firmly strapped to my back, as I did with most of my tools, before drawing the sword from my side. “Alright y’pricks, I've already dealt with fuck knows how many of you lot, so let's cut to the point.” I growl to myself, eyes leveling with the group before sighing and charging forward with what burst of energy I could muster. Dodging, blocking, and slicing. I've learned better techniques with the hours I’ve been down here at this point, and I've learned to try and keep my ADD to a damned well minimum if I didn't want to get bit. Still, I take considerable damage, especially when a bunch of slime basically glued my one foot to the floor. “Oh for fucks sake-!” I swear, trying to slice away the slime as I get smacked repeatedly by the other enemies around me, and underneath my feet. Once I dislodge myself, I huff, reaching into my pocket. I didn't want to use this since, Yoba knows I have No clue how this works, but it had to be done if I wanted to finish this up rather soon. I take out a small cherry bomb, it was hardly the size of my palm but packed considerable damage. Lighting the fuse, I chucked the bomb into the crowd of monsters, before leaping back a few feet. “Fire in the- fuck you lot!” I yell, right before I cover my ears to avoid dissociating after the explosive goes off, the ground shaking slightly from the effort. I remain there for a few moments to catch my breath, and to let my over-sensitivity slowly ebb back down to functionality. A few pebbles had gotten in my hair from the small tremor the cherry bomb had caused. Once I manage to open my eyes, I see that the crowd of monsters have all but fallen apart. I sigh to myself, more in relief than anything, as I stagger back over to gather what loot can be mustered. I also shook my hair, trying to free the dirt and rocks that had collected, but to no avail. I’d need to shower when I get home.  

However, when I look up, a thin green smoke had begun pouring in. I raise my eyebrows, rubbing my eyes to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating, before coughing. Ugh, this certainly didn't seem healthy. I recall thinking about how it was getting harder to see, as it was dark down there as it was without a fog clouding the caves. I wave it off as nothing unusual, shaking my head and grabbing my pickax to look for the exit. It was then I feel something shove hard into my back, knocking me to the floor. “Ow, what the hell?!” I turn to look behind me, only to hear a distinct buzzing as something very large, and very wasp like flies right over my head. I couldn’t quite make out what exactly it was, but that’s the best description for those cream colored pricks. My pulse begins to race. If there was one thing that scared me half to death, it was wasps. Wasps, yellow jackets, the likes. Bastards stung me more times than I can count. Honey bees are little sweethearts, though… I digress. Breaking from my train of thought, I groan and wipe some blood off my face, flinching gently as a small shot of pain echos from my lip. “....I repeat, what the hell….???” I get back to my feet, facing the way the bug had originally came from, only to be shoved again from behind, knocking me back over. I swear to myself, for what must've been the upteenth time that evening, as I finally get a good look around me, holding up my torch just enough to project the light around me. My face drops in abject horror. ‘Holy hell- there must have been dozens of these things, coming from fuck knows where!’ It was after I thought that, that the whole mine descended into absolute chaos. Every time I tried to get back up, I would only get shoved back down, getting more hurt in the process as rocks scratched my cheeks, hands, legs and arms. That's not even to mention that this haze I had that was clouding the air was causing me to constantly cough and wheeze. Damn, it's times like this I hated being an asthmatic. Still, I had to force myself up. I had to just get to the ladder and get down… No, no that'd just get me killed. I had to get out of these mines, quickly. I had to get to the elevator. Covering my eyes, and using my rusty sword to block any oncoming onslaught, before opening my eyes as I charged towards the elevator’s exit. Still, I kept losing balance briefly from all the nudging and pushing; stumbling left and right until I reached and grabbed a firm hold of the edge of the elevator. “Gotcha-!” My victory is short lived, as I yelp when there’s a feeling a sharp pain going through my back. One of those wasp fuckers...they had a vicious bite, leaving me feeling drained between the throbbing pain and the likely wound that had opened as a result. I coerce myself to whip around, slicing the bug creature with what little effort I could manage, before backing up into the elevator and slamming the hilt of the sword into the top floor button. There was a distinct thud of the bugs as they slammed uselessly against the mine’s elevator- though notable dents in the metal doors leave my tension unmoving.

As the doors closed, I took a deep breath- trying to summon any energy to move. Or to, at the very least, calm the hell down. I felt it, very clearly as I slid my sword back into its little compartment in the side of my belt, the pounding of my heart that rang in my ears and left me feeling exhausted from head to toe. U g h. ‘Going beyond 25 was probably a mistake.’ ‘Going into the mines was a definite mistake, too.’ Still, I push myself to my feet once I hear the ding of the elevator, making my way outside. It was raining densely by then, and I had to keep myself from limping too badly. The sun had since mostly set, save for a gentle light that poured in from elsewhere- covered by clouds. The pain in my back was growing, and I had to stifle a whine through a stern bite to my lip. Which, quite frankly, only made me whine more from the cut there from earlier. I just wanted to go home and recuperate, however… There was still something I had to do. I had to make sure one of my friends didn't get too worried about me, after all- that’s the last thing I needed to top off the evening. Once I made it back into town, I sighed and swung my bag over, reaching through until I got some gold; putting it into a small satchel. I groan a bit from the pain still flaring from my back, but I’m honestly too afraid to survey the damage right then & there. Frankly, I probably should have, but the pain was making my head fuzzy, and out of sync with the rest of me. I’ll deal with it at home later, before Harvey notices. If he's even still with Yasmine, that is. At least, that’s the hope for the rest of this evening. With that thought in mind, I sigh, bracing myself for some sort of inevitability as I limp my way into the Stardrop Saloon.

The usual scene greets me when I walk inside. A few waves and a quiet laugh, though it does fall eerily quiet rather quickly once everyone seems to notice the state I’m in. Beaten to shit, and by then dripping from the rain. I wring out my shirt just a slight bit, before meandering over to the bars counter. Gus waves from the counter but immediately hesitates- likely noticing the bruises starting to flower along my face- not to mention the cuts I can feel pulsating along my cheeks and nose. He looks, wanting to ask… But says nothing as I sit briefly on one of the bar stools, setting the satchel onto the counter. “The usual, please Gus.” I mutter quietly, as is the usual routine I've done each week since I've moved here. He nods, looking back to Emily- who knew my order down pat by then. She turns to smile widely at me, before gasping. Damnit. “What happened?!” “Ah, got into a bit of a tousle. Don't worry about it, I’ll be good tomorrow.” I shrug off the concern with a lighthearted laugh, even if the fatigue was showing in my tone. Gus seemed to want to drop it, as if he could see the desperation of not wanting anyone else's concern on the matter in my eyes, but Emily persisted. “Soren, at least let me clean off your cheeks, your bleeding-!” She sighs, taking a spare cloth in her hand and reaching over the counter to dab at my face. My nose reflexively scrunches against my face, but I don't bother moving my head out of the way. “Emily..” I sigh to myself, gently pushing her off me once she's finished with my face. “I'm alright. Don't worry. Plus, I already told you-” I give a jokingly goofy grin, “You can call me Ren.” I reassure her, as she gives me a very concerned look through the tangled mass of electric blue hair. “...Okay… But be careful, okay? I don't need you getting hurt.” She demanded, pointing sternly to me. I defensively raise my hands up jokingly with a laugh, but nod all the same. My thoughts swim briefly between trying not to focus on the pain gently pulsating from my spine, and the dizzying feeling from probably being more exhausted than I gave myself credit for. “I’ll be careful, don't worry.” I say after a few minutes, as she turns away to work on my order. She turns back to me, handing me the glasses as she leans closer, whispering gently in my ear. “...You're gonna scare the crap out of him, you know.” She said, raising an eyebrow her eyes flickering over towards the other side of the bar, “I know you've been trying to at least befriend him but..” My eyes follow briefly, before I give a slight shrug. It wasn’t that big of a deal. “I've got it under control, Em. It's chill.” I smile reassuringly, getting up off my stool with both glasses in hand, before strolling over towards the fireplace and leaning against the brick right next to it. I smirk a bit, noticing that Shane- the same person I've been stubbornly trying to befriend for a few months now- has been spacing out into the mug he was drinking out of. I nudge him gently with one of the mugs I offer to him, and he snaps out of it rather quickly. “Hey, what gi-” He stops in what he says, blinking a bit out of probably buzzed confusion. It takes a moment, before finally taking a look at my state before rolling his eyes, relaxing just a slight bit. “Okay, what the hell did you do?” He said as he snatched the mug from my hand, setting the empty one aside in place of drinking the one I had given. I shrug my shoulders, staring at the foam bubbling out of my cup. “Ah, just spent a little too long in th’ pits of hell itself.” I joke, winking playfully. He scoffs. “Why do you still even bother to joke around with me and act like we’re friends?” He grumbled, and I smiled with a bold determination set in my expression. “Since I think you're probably super nice, I mean... beyond that rude shell of yours.” I respond with confidence, despite the uncertainty that lingered in my mind. What I usually expect was a scoff, or a roll of the eyes, or some other dismissive gesture, but instead he laughs. Not at me, for once, but what I had said. I was more-so used to it, from other people in my life. I can be a bit of a joke, that I knew. “Soren, you are a different kind of naive.” He replies with between chuckles as he settled down, taking another hearty drink until the mug was empty. I did the same, leaning back further until I was sitting down. ‘Yeah, I know that, too.’ I refused to voice my thoughts aloud, though, instead crossing my arms. “Maybe so. But hey, it's worth a shot, innit?” I smile, less bold but with a slight softness to it. I was growing weary, eyes fluttering as my body tried to force sleep. I could tell, from the silence that took over for a few moments, that he was debating on whether or not he was going to actually question all the cuts along what he could see. He must have settled on not bothering, sighing and shaking his head. “Whatever you say, kid.” He muttered, to which I pout, just a bit. “I’m not a kid!” I immediately protest, arms flinging out just a bit in overzealous expression. “You're like 4’5”. You're a kid.” “4’10”, first off, secondly I’ll fight you, mister!” I let my offence fade, giving a mischievous smirk, and putting my fists up jokingly. He shakes his head a bit. He tended to do that a lot around me. What can I say? I specialized in being a bother, and an annoyance. I’ve come to accept that.   “You would be knocked out in one hit for starters, missy, even if you weren't beaten to shit.” Shane replies, sighing as I shake my head to dismiss the remark. “Oh whatever!” He hides his amusement behind a slight smile as I go to get up, my stance slightly wobbly. Jeez, did the alcohol already get to me?... However, it was after a few steps that I get an answer. I heard a gasp right behind me. “Holy shit, Soren!-” I look back, confused, as he gets up and shakes his head, “Your back, Soren.” “Huh?” I raise an eyebrow, more curious than before, and reach behind me. A damp warmth takes my hand as I make the grave mistake to check, only to find the darkened crimson shade of blood staining my palm. My eyes widen, with a sick nausea briefly twisting my stomach. “Oh fuck.” “You should get that seen, and maybe fast. That looks pretty bad...” “No, No it's fine. I can fix this myself. I’ve taken scouts, I know how to patch this up. I just...need to head home.” I reassure with a smile. Shane doesn't seem to buy it, and goes to quickly object, but before he even could I had walked right out- hellbent on not letting Yasmine or Harvey know about this particular incident.

“I can fix this myself… I can fix this myself.” I reassure myself as I start walking home, not even listening to see if Shane has followed me. I had to keep pressing forward, it wasn’t an option to let Yasmine or Harvey know. So I kept saying that, just to myself, almost like a mantra. Before I could even feel it through, a wave of vertigo made me trip and fall- and wouldn't you know it? My head slams right into a rock. 

Man, my luck couldn't have been worse today. I saw stars, briefly, with pain shooting through my whole body between the damage dealt earlier, and the striking new pain blooming from the side of my head.  Either way, it instantly rendered my mind unconscious as the blood loss takes hold, some sort’ve muffled groan dying on my lips as it passes. 

[violetosprey]

Hey there! You mentioned in one of you posts that your favorite ending for Marcus was the one where he frames the MC. I'll admit, you kind of got me liking that ending too! However, this is a problem I have the the style of romance-novel-type games, that being that options are limited (This isn't a complaint with anyone who likes those games or uses such a format, I'll admit, it has its uses). Your thoughts I guess?

Oh, a good question :)  My only fear with answering this question is that I end up completely misunderstanding what you’re saying here XD  You might have to correct me if I go on a monologue here that nowhere near answers your question.

I think you’re talking about the limit of choices you have when going down a character’s path and/or the endings you can get with the character.  If that’s it, I’ll talk about that in terms of romance-novel games in general, and use Marcus from TDDUP as an example.  HUGE spoilers for Marcus ahead (which I will leave for #3 if you want to avoid that).

1)  Limit of choices for the MC

I can’t think of too much because I’m not a game developer myself.  There’s first the physical limitations a developer can face when programming choices.  Obviously, the more options you put in for the player to do/say, the more fun it is for the player.  But that means the developer has to work each option thinking “which one of these then leads to which of these selections” or “how much does the love meter go up or down if the character picks this option.”

If the game is shorter too, there’s not a whole lot of sense putting in a lot of choices for the character to make, especially if you still want to have plenty of different scenarios to branch into.  The “Till Death Do Us Part” game IS a shorter game.  It takes less than an hour to get through a full scenario with each character for example (quicker if you’re a fast reader and not debating decisions).  There’s also another element thrown in there as well: the MC’s personality.

TDDUP you aren’t given much other than saying that Chris’s MC is abusive, Jack’s MC is neutral, and Marcus’s MC is strong.  So naturally the selections you can make should match how they would react to a situation naturally.  Some selections can get a little out-of-character if the MC’s sanity starts to fall apart (that’s understandable).

If you have an MC who’s more of a blank slate, the player likes it better so that they can play more how they want to play (project themselves if you will).  If you have an MC that has a more distinct personality (ex.  Alice from Alice in the Country of Hearts is the cynical type), then I personally think the developer can actually drive the story a little better.

At least that’s how I see it.

2) Limit of endings

I was going to say at first “in terms of TDDUP,” but I think this can actually apply to pretty much most or all of any kind of romance-novel games:  You’re going to be limited with certain kinds of endings in a romance-novel because they are more often based around the romancing character’s personality and/or actions rather than the MC’s.

Really weird wording for that, I know.  You’re probably also thinking, “Wait, don’t MY choices as the MC determine the ending, not the character I’m romancing?”  Yes and no.  What your choices do affect how the character you’re romancing REACTS to the MC.  Those reactions should be be held within the confines of the love interest’s natural personality and qualities.  They can have some extremes so as to surprise the player, but what they do should make sense.  

For example, if you do want to surprise a player with the love interest having a yandere side for one of the endings, there should usually be SOMETHING in that love interest’s route that at least hinted at the possibility.  It can even be subtle if you want, like there are times the love interest seems slightly possessive, or the love interest is known to be a little clingy or worried about you leaving them (very lonely characters can go into a panic if they think you’re leaving them).  Those can then be taken as hints so when they do go full yandere, it’s still believable.

3) “Till Death Do Us Part” game and Marcus

I figured I could put this as its own little section in case some casual readers weren’t as interested in hearing about this horror game, or didn’t want to be spoiled.  If you’re thinking about checking it out btw, please be sure to read the WARNINGS beforehand (play at your own comfort level).  Otherwise, feel free to continue here if you want to see how I compare it to what I just stated above.

Quick recap:  Marcus is a good cop, but an extreme male yandere who kidnaps the MC due to his obsession.  Out of all the TDDUP characters, not only does Marcus have the fewest endings of them all, but he’s the only one where you NEVER get killed.  That’s pretty interesting.

I actually went into WHY this is the case before in my post here from long ago.

The asker here may have even read it already :P  But just to recap, I concluded that the reason why Marcus never kills you and because you never escape is because he has complete control.  He’s set up the scenario in advance to ensure you stay with him.  And his goal was never to kill you to begin with.  He “loves” you.  

So really the choices the MC makes hear just determine how Marcus reacts to the MC based on his own personality.  Your own actions and his either up mindbreaking the MC (in one of two ways), treating the MC like an animal (still not killing you though), or this in between if you’ve managed to hold onto your sanity, but Marcus isn’t ticked off at you (the “framed” ending).

And since Marcus basically wins, it actually just makes more sense for his portion to be short anyway.  If you made this a MUCH longer part of the game and STILL let Marcus win the way he wants, that’s just going to be distasteful for most of the audience (even me, and I love that horror yanderes).  If you were to make it much longer, you’re either looking to have Marcus get defeated/killed in the end, or looking to have him redeemed for a good ending.

The TDDUP game is short in general because it’s almost more of a brief character study than anything.  You have a very interesting cast set up in smaller scenarios rather than larger story arcs.  It’s not like uhhhh I think Mystic Messenger actually has a story line to it.  Things like that you have more meat to work with.  But with TDDUP you’re there to enjoy the baddies themselves and see the different “what if” scenarios.  Marcus is so obsessed and so prepared that you can’t really win against him no matter what you do.  He just treats you differently based on how you act.

The “framed” ending was indeed my favorite because I think that can branch off later for the MC keeping hope of escaping and not letting Marcus win.  Sorry, I just like my yanderes as villains more than heroes :P

[creeping-shadow-heralds-storms]

Most people never cooked at home more than they did in 2020. If you started last year with no plans to cook more, you might still be stuck with an inefficient kitchen setup that’s miserable to use. No matter your current feelings on cooking, now is the perfect time to overhaul your kitchen organization—and there’s no better system than FIFO.

The first-in, first-out (FIFO) system is exactly what it sounds like; it ensures older things get used before newer things. In order to keep this up, the older stuff has to be the first thing you see when you open the fridge or pantry. That’s why grocery stores put the oldest stock at the front of the shelf, and why everything in professional kitchens is stored with the label facing out.

For home cooks, FIFO is synonymous with labeling everything in your fridge. While it’s an excellent system for keeping track of leftovers and reducing food waste, there’s so much more to it than fridge management. Your entire kitchen can and should be organized around the main FIFO principle: “If you can’t see it, you won’t use it.” Keeping this in mind when reorganizing makes the kitchen you have easier to use, no matter how cramped or inefficient it may be. And, since FIFO is all about using what you have, you can do it without buying a single thing.

The specifics of a FIFO makeover will look different for every kitchen, but the end goal is universal: To arrange the stuff in your kitchen so that you can see as much of it as possible. There are four main ways to do this, starting with your container situation.

Streamline your food storage

Pantry clutter is the enemy of a FIFO system, so unfortunately, that’s where you should start. You might think the solution involves spending a ton of money on identical glass jars—what’s easier to see through than glass?—but it doesn’t have to. Organizing your pantry so that everything (or nearly everything) is visible at all times is easier with similarly-shaped containers in a variety of sizes.

A chaotic jumble of misfit Tupperwares won’t work, either. Sort through your food containers, keep matching sets, and dispose of the one-offs. Next, fill in the gaps, starting with stuff you already have. Repurposed food packaging is fantastic for pantry storage, especially if you’re loyal to a certain brand and have a ton of the same containers. (There are a lot of glass jars that once held Adams peanut butter and Bonne Maman jam in my pantry.) If you need to buy new, soup containers are ideal for small-volume storage because they come in multiple sizes but have universal lids.

For bulk foods, skip the overpriced “bulk storage” bins on Amazon and go straight to the hardware or restaurant supply store. I buy flour 50 pounds at a time, and nothing beats a 5-gallon plastic bucket with a twist-off lid. They cost less than $20 at the hardware store and last forever. Buckets do take up a lot of space, though, and aren’t exactly stackable. If you’re strapped for space, look for Cambro containers at restaurant supply stores. They’re smaller and more expensive than plastic utility buckets, but they come in both square and round sizes and stack securely.

Label everything

Labeling your perishables is a signature element of any FIFO system, and with good reason. Clear labels tell you, at a glance, what’s inside a container and how old it is; FIFO doesn’t exist without them.

If you’re already in the habit of labeling the contents of your fridge and freezer, awesome—but don’t stop there. Most items in your kitchen can and should be labeled. Bulk pantry items in opaque containers are the obvious use case, but slapping a label on DIY cleaning solutions, countertop fermentation projects, and even the shelves in your pantry will make your kitchen easier to use. No more losing track of sourdough starter feedings or wondering which shelf you put the coconut milk on; you can look at the label and get on with it. Just make sure those labels face out. Spring for a label-maker if you like, but masking tape and a Sharpie work just as well.

Consolidate, consolidate, consolidate

Labels are great, but they can’t help you if you you can’t see them. This is especially an issue in the fridge: If last night’s takeout gets buried in a graveyard of half-empty soup containers, it’ll expire before you remember it’s there.

Consolidation is the secret second step after labeling your food. It’s easy: Just transfer the contents of larger containers to smaller ones as you use them up. (Universal lids are especially clutch here, because you can downsize without getting a fresh lid.) Ruthlessly consolidating your leftovers and pantry items frees up precious storage space so you can actually see what you’re working with. It also makes it easy to know when opening a new package is actually necessary, and when certain items are running low.

Bonus round: Take inventory

The final boss of FIFO is taking inventory. To be honest, I don’t inventory my kitchen and have no plans to—but I cook for myself and one other adult. If you’re feeding a big family, keeping a detailed inventory can simplify your life.

Inventorying is all about tracking what you have so you know what to buy and when. If you’ve never done it before, start small. Pick one kitchen area—pantry, fridge, or freezer—and write down the name of every food item, how much of it you have, and its expiration date. (Spreadsheets, paper lists, dry erase boards, and even the notes app on your phone all have their pluses and minuses, so use whatever feels natural.) Update the list as things get used up. When you sit down to make a grocery list, consult your inventory to see what you actually need and what can wait. There’s no one perfect system, so play around until you find what works.

If all of this sounds like a lot of work, that’s because it is. Running a kitchen is an enormous job; doing it on top of your regular job gets old in a hurry, even if you love to cook. A FIFO setup won’t eliminate the relentless churn of daily cooking and cleaning, but it will make it easier to actually use your kitchen.

[maximelebled]

2017

Howdy! Time for the yearly blog post! There's enough depressing stuff that happened this year, so I want to try and not focus too much on that; talk more about the positive and the personal. (I am looking back on this opening paragraph after writing everything else, and I don’t think that ended up true.)

I find it increasingly harder to just straight up talk about things, especially in a direct manner. I think it comes from continuing to realize that so many things are extremely subjective and everything has so much nuance to it that I feel really uncomfortable saying a straight "yes" or a straight "no" to a lot of questions ("Nazis are bad" is not one, though). Or even just a straight answer.

I always end up wanting to go into tangents, and I inevitably run into not being able to phrase that nuance. You know that feeling, when you know something, you have the thought in your head; it is so clear, right there in your head, it is crystal-clear to your soul, yet you have no idea how to word it, let alone doing so in 140/280/500 characters. Frustrating!

I guess I could just put a big disclaimer here, "I am not a paragon of absolute truth and don't start interpreting my words as 'Max thinks he is the authority on XYZ' because you'd be quite foolish to do so"; but that doesn't help that much. Online discourse, let alone presence, can be so tiresome these days; not to be too Captain Obvious, but, there are quite a lot of people that delight in engaging those they see as their "opponents" in bad faith.

As a white man, I don't have it that bad, but still, I'll continue to tell you one thing: the block button is extremely good and you should feel no shame in using it. It drastically improves your online experience. (There are some very clear signs that make me instantly slam the button. I’m sure you know which ones too.)

Anyway, regardless, it's hard to get rid of a habit, especially one you've unwillingly taken on yourself, so I apologize in advance for constantly writing all those "most likely", "probably", "maybe" words, and writing in a style that can come off as annoyingly hesitant sometimes.

I started watching Star Trek this year. My Netflix history tells me: January 29th for TOS/TAS, March 26th for TNG, June 3rd for DS9, November 9th for Voyager.

TOS was really interesting to watch. A lot of things stood out: the (relative) minimalism of the sets and the directing was reminiscent of theater, and even though that was, generally speaking, because that's how TV shows used to be made, it was still striking. From a historical perspective, "fascinating" would still be an ill-suited word to describe it. Seeing that this is where a lot of sci-fi concepts came from, suddenly understanding all the references and nods made everywhere else... it was also soothing to watch a show about mankind having finally united, having exploration and discovery as its sole goal. I feel like it wouldn't have made as big of an impact on me, had I watched it a year prior.

I've always thought of myself as rejecting cynicism, abhorring it, but it's harder and harder to hold on to that as time goes on. I still want to believe in the inner good of mankind, of people in general, but man, it's hard sometimes. I think what really gnaws at me most of the time is how so many of the little bits of good that we can, and are doing, individually, and which do add up... can get struck down or "wasted away" so quickly. The two examples that I have in mind: Bitcoin, this gigantic mess, the least efficient system ever designed by mankind, has already nullified a decade's worth of power savings from the European Union's regulations on energy-efficient light bulbs. And then there's stuff like big prominent YouTubers being, to stay polite, huge irresponsible fools despite the responsibility they have in front of a massive audience of very young people. It can be really depressing to think about the sheer scale of this kind of stuff.

What we can all do on an individual level still matters, of course! I try my best not to use my car, to buy local, reduce my use of plastic, optimize my power usage, etc.; speaking of that, I've often thought about making a small website about teaching the gamer demographic in general quick easy ways to save energy. There is so much misinformation out there, gamers who disable all the power-saving features of their hardware just to get 2 more frames per second in their games, people who overclock so much that they consume 60% more power for 10% more performance, the list goes on. Maybe I'll get around to it some day.

All this stuff going on makes it hard to want to project yourself far ahead in the future. Why plan ahead your retirement in 40 years when it feels like there's a significant chance the world will go to shit by then? It's grim... but it definitely makes me understand the saying "live like there's no tomorrow". Not that I'm gonna become an irresponsible person who burns all their savings on stupid stuff, but for the time being... I don't feel like betting on a better tomorrow, so I might as well save a little bit less for the far future and have a nicer present. You know the stories of American workers who got scammed out of their own 401k? That's, in essence, the kind of stuff I wish to avoid. If that makes sense.

Anyway, going off that long depressing tangent: something I liked a lot across The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager, was how consistent they were. The style of directing, framing, camera movement, etc. was always very similar. Now, you can argue that's just how 80s and 90s TV shows on a budget, a 4:3 aspect ratio, and smaller SD screens worked, yes, but I do believe there is a special consistency that stuck out to me. I jumped into the newest series, Discovery, right after finishing Voyager (I don't plan on watching Enterprise) and the first two episodes were confusing to watch... shaky cam, a lot of traveling shots, shallow depth-of-field, and the tendency to put two characters at the extreme left and right of the frame.It’s a hell of a leap forwards in directing trends. It all gets better after the first two episodes, though.

I remember alluding to the King of Pain project in my last yearly post. I'm glad I managed to finally do it. I'd talk about it here, but why do it when I've made 70 minutes of video about it? (And unlike my previous behind-the-scenes videos, it's a lot more condensed, and hopefully entertaining.) Unfortunately for me, I completed the video in late June, with only a month left to the TI7 Short Film Contest deadline. So I ended up making two videos back-to-back. I had to buy a new laptop in order to finish the video during my yearly pilgrimage to Seattle. It was intense! And thankfully, I managed to pull off the Hat Trick: winning the contest three years in a row. I would like to think it's a pretty good achievement, but you know how us artists are in general; as soon as we achieve something, we start thinking "eh, it wasn't that good anyway" and we raise our bar higher still.

While I do intend to participate in the contest again next year, I know I'll most likely do something more personal, that would probably be less of a safe bet, now that the pressure of winning 3 in a row is gone. I already have a few ideas lined up...

... and I do have a very interesting project going on right now! If it goes through and I don't miserably land flat on my face (which, unfortunately, has a non-zero chance of happening), you'll see it in about a month from now.

I'm pretty happy to have reached a million views on all three of my shorts; a million and a half on the TI7 one, too... it might reach two million within six months if it keeps getting views at the current rate. It surprises me a bit that this might end up being my first "big" video, one that keeps getting put on people's sidebar by the all-mighty YouTube™ Algorithm™. There's often a disconnect between what you consider to be your best work, and what ends up being the most popular.

This reminds me that, a lot of the time, I get people who ask me if I'm a streamer or a "YouTuber". My usual answer is that I'm on YouTube, but I'm not a "YouTuber". I wholeheartedly reject that subculture, the cult of personalities, the attempts at parasocial relationships, and all that stuff. It's just not for me. Now, that said, I do hope to achieve 100k subscribers one day... I'm getting closer and closer every day! The little silver trophy for bragging rights would be neat.

My office was renovated by my dad while I was gone. It's much nicer now, and I finally have a place to put most of my Dota memorabilia. He actually sent me this picture I didn't know he'd taken, behind my back, in 2014; the difference is striking... (I think that game I'm playing is Dragon Age: Inquisition.)

Tinnitus. I first noticed my tinnitus when I was 20. I vividly remember the "hold on a second" moment I had in bed... man, if I'd known back then how worse it'd get. Then again, the game was rigged from the start; as a kid, I had frequent ear infections because my canals are weird and small. What didn't help either was the itching; back then, they thought it was mycosis... and treatment for that didn't help at all. Turns out it was psoriasis! Which I also started getting on my right arm that year. (It's eczema, it's itchy, it's chronic, and the treatment steroid cream. Or steroids.) Both conditions got worse since then, too.

Tinnitus becomes truly horrible when you start the doubt the noises you're hearing. When all you have is the impossible-to-describe high-pitched whine, things are, relatively speaking, fine. You know what the noise is, and you learn, you know not to focus on it. But with my tinnitus evolving, new "frequencies", I have, on occasion, started doubting whether I was hearing an actual noise or if it was just my inner ear and brain working in concert to make it up. So I end up thinking about it, actively, and that makes it come back. I had a truly awful week when, during an inner ear infection, the noise got so shrill, so overwhelming, I lost so much sleep over it. I couldn't tune it out anymore. It was like it was at the center of my head and not in my ears anymore. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm not even sure that I'm in the clear yet regarding that. But, like I said, it's best if I don't dwell on it. Thinking of the noise is no bueno.

Really, the human body is bullshit. Here's another example. A couple months ago, I managed to bite the inside of my mouth three separate times. I hate when it happens, not because of the immediate pain, but because I already dread the mouth ulcer / canker sore (not sure which is the appropriate medical translation; the French word is "apthe"). Well, guess what: none of these three incidents had the bite degenerate into an ulcer... but one appeared out of nowhere, in a different spot, two weeks later. And while mouthwash works in the moment, it feels like it never actually helps... it's like I have to wait for my body to realize, after at least ten days, oh yeah, you know what, maybe I should take care of this wound in my mouth over here. And it always waits until it gets quite big. There's no way to nip these goddamn things in the bud when they're just starting.

But really, I feel like I shouldn't really complain? All in all, it could be much worse, so so so much worse. I could have Crohn's disease. I could have cancer. I could have some other horrible rare disease. Localized psoriasis and tinnitus isn't that bad, as far as the life lottery goes. As far as I'm aware, there's nothing hereditary in my family, besides the psoriasis, and the male pattern baldness. I wonder how I'll deal with that one ten, fifteen years down the line...

Just as I'm finishing writing this, the Meltdown & Spectre security flaws have been revealed... spooky stuff, and it makes me glad I still haven't upgraded my desktop PC after five years. I've been meaning to do it because my i7 4770 (non-K) has started being a bit of a bottleneck, that and my motherboard has been a bit defective the whole time (only two RAM slots working). But thankfully I didn't go for it! I guess I will once they fix the fundamental architectural flaws.

The Y2K bug was 18 years late after all.

Here's a non-exhaustive list (because I’m trying to skip most of the very obvious stuff, but also because I forget stuff) of media I enjoyed this year:

Series & movies:

Star Trek (see above)

Travelers

The Expanse

Predestination (2014)

ARQ

Swiss Army Man

Video games:

Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice

Horizon: Zero Dawn

What remains of Edith Finch

Uncharted: Lost Legacy

Wolfenstein II

Super Mario Odyssey

Metroid: Samus Returns

OneShot

Prey

Music:

Cheetah EP by James Hunter USA

VESPERS by Thomas Ferkol

Some older stuff from Demis Roussos and Boney M.... and, I'll admit reluctantly, still the same stuff: Solar Fields, the CBS/Sony Sound Image Series, Himiko Kikuchi, jazz fusion, etc. I'm still just as big a sucker for songs that ooze with atmosphere. (I've been meaning to write some sort of essay on Solar Fields... it's there, floating in my head... but it's that thing I wrote earlier: you know the idea, intimately, but you're not sure how to put it into words. Maybe one day!)

I think that's about it this year. I hope to write about 2018 in better terms!

See you next year.

[rilenerocks]

I’m not exactly a nautical type. I’ve been in a variety of boats. I’ve paddled a canoe and rowed a row boat. Someone taught me how to come about on a sailboat many years ago. I’ve driven a motor boat, one of the few positive benefits of having my in-laws who owned one. I’ve traversed lakes and rivers on paddle boats, pontoon boats and riverboats. I’ve been on a hydrofoil and a whale watching boat. I’ve been on a cruise ship a couple of times and the smaller tenders that transport you from ship to shore and back. I’ve even been on a faux submarine that felt like being in a washing machine, plus one retired battleship. These were all good and interesting experiences but truthfully, I’d rather be in the water than on it.

I try thinking back to what led me to think about trying to keep an even keel. Maybe growing up close to the lakefront in Chicago had an impact on my marine-themed psychological reference for stability. I can’t count how many times I traveled on both south and north Lake Shore Drive. I remember always having my eyes glued to the water which was endlessly interesting to me. Full of life and  mystery. That’s the place where I learned to swim. Maybe I’m somewhere in that black and white photo, trying to copy those people who actually knew what they were doing. My family wasn’t big on swimming. Usually on steamy summer days, when we were broiling in our un-air-conditioned third floor apartment, we headed to the beach and set up camp in the grassy park area. After a while, I always fled to the water. 

My high school had a marine theme because of its proximity to the lake. South Shore High. The athletic teams were called The Tars. The yearbook was The Tide and the newspaper was The Shore Line. Deep blue and teal green were the colors I associate with that school, thinking particularly of my senior yearbook. When I attended my 50th high school reunion, I had some temporary teal streaks put in my hair, just for fun.

I’m not exactly sure whether the origin of my goal of keeping an even keel is important. Thinking about it is typical of my internal process as I always seem to be pondering something. Sometimes when I wake in the morning with a subject already on my mind, I wonder if I’ve really been asleep. I’m not sure my brain is ever empty despite my intermittent meditative efforts. I have to laugh. From the beginning of our relationship, I was always asking Michael what he was thinking about. Frequently, he’d say “nothing.” “What?” I would shriek. “That’s impossible. You have to be thinking about something.” He’d smile and say, “Some day toward the end of your life, you’re going to realize that all the mysterious thoughts you believe I’m concealing really were never there. You’ve just spent your life with a basically shallow guy.” Of course I never believed him and of course that wasn’t true. But it was a point well taken. Everyone isn’t afflicted with thinking all the time.

I’m pretty sure all this perpetual  cogitating began when I was a little kid. I was always tuned in to the emotional currents going on around me. I found them alarming and uncomfortable. I wanted to be a step ahead of everything. My family seemed to constantly be responding to crises which for me, as a little child, was just plain scary. As I got older, I developed strategies for getting ahead of the curve. I believe control is the operative word here. I wanted as much control as I could get. None of this aimless bobbing like a cork in the water, buffeted by random waves and currents for me. I figured if I thought hard enough I could keep an even keel, no matter what I ran into along my course. Obviously, that wasn’t entirely possible. Anyone with feelings can’t get away unscathed by those waves that ram into most people at some point or other in their lives. But trying to hold steady has been a good life strategy for me. I gravitate to my center and move forward from there. I’m not fond of operating from positions of weakness. So if I stay focused, I can manage. Most of the time.

Last week, I gave myself a special event. Pete Yorn was doing a livestream acoustic guitar performance of my favorite album of his, Musicforthemorningafter. In addition, there was new and unique merchandise to go along with the show. Part of the proceeds were going to Covid19 relief, particularly in the way of food. I was so excited. I decided that after Michael died, I was going to go to as many concerts, plays and places as I could afford. The intervention of the virus has put a big hitch in my plans. Sometimes I wish I could be less conscious of the considerable risks it poses to my health and then, obviously, to my family and anyone else whose path I might cross. But I can’t. I’m constantly reasoning with myself, trying to stay rational instead of being impulsive. I don’t believe that most of the people who are breaking all the science rules are being deliberately malicious and uncaring about public health. Mostly I think they’re either not able to conceive that one bad move can be enough to change their lives or someone else’s. Having constant awareness of vulnerability is hard and exhausting. I think my life made me good at this heightened awareness. I often remind myself that everyone is just a phone call away from life-altering tough news. Frankly, it’s not my favorite thing to be self-aware. In my coronavirus dream journal, I’ve noticed an interesting pattern. Mostly, I’m in unfamiliar places, but I’m almost always with Michael and our kids. Usually it’s between 15-20 years ago, so our little nuclear family is intact. But there’s always something threatening near us and I’m trying to protect one person or another. Invariably, I’m required to navigate a dangerous area, usually a narrow walkway, bridge or balance beam-like path. Water is on both sides of me and it’s usually active, with waves lapping over my feet. So far, I’ve always gotten to the other side. I’m thinking this subconscious process is a metaphor for this time.

The world around me can be simultaneously simple and complex. I’m my best self when I’m in my garden, listening to music, watching the behavior of the insects, birds and little mammals out there in my habitat that I’m still trying to improve every day. Part of the reason for that is to do my share of being a healthy influence on nature as it groans under the weight of climate change. I also am trying to help my future self as the work around here will only get harder. Maybe I’ll have a healthy decade in my 70’s or maybe not. If I design my outside for as little maintenance as possible, my chances of staying uninjured improve. That project is keeping me occupied in the dance of staying balanced. There’ve been 50 bird species that have shown up here this year. I’m working on my list of butterflies now. I finally got a few photos of the speedy goldfinches and an amazing first, a video of monarchs mating. The simple part of life.

This piece of my life is satisfying. I wander around for hours, headphones on, listening to music, old and new. But there’s a darker side. I’m worrying about lots of people I know and ones that I don’t. I have friends dealing with cancer, their own or their loved one’s. That’s a road I can walk with them, albeit carefully, as I’ve learned well the limits of my abilities. Friends’ parents are dying in this lonely time when the virus separates people when they should be together. Many people I know are depressed and lonely. The incessant alone time gives many who weren’t satisfied with their lives too much time to reflect on their negatives. That’s another road I can walk partway before stepping back. I’ve experienced a lot of loss, both parents, a sibling, a best friend, a former lover and of course, my life partner. Sometimes I think that I’ve already experienced the worst thing that could happen to me. But then I remind myself that for me, the loss of a child could overwhelm all my internal resources. So my private inner dialogue continues.

Then there are all the people on the streets. I’m seeing more of the homeless and the hungry. I buy sandwiches and hand them over but it’s so terrible to know how insignificant is that act which only provides the most temporary respite. I’ve handed out water bottles on hot days. But I feel helpless and overwhelmed and angry. This is a rich country and the economic gaps between the top and the bottom are just wrong. I rail away on social media about everything. Then I feel guilty that all I share is anger and rage. So I go to Instagram, a most peculiar place indeed. I follow scientists and nature photographers so I can share some beauty instead of simply vitriol. I also check on a variety of news outlets and conservation groups. I confess that I do the fan girl thing, following Roger Federer, musicians and the television character who reminds me of Michael, at least the  Michael he’d have been as a Scottish Highlander in the 18th century. But Instagram’s a weird place with all these influencers who seem mostly vapid to me, and then the lonely souls out there who send me private messages and ask to follow me them though my account is private. My profile photo is flattering but do these mostly middle-aged men think that anything substantive could develop in this peculiar forum? Maybe that actually happens for some people. I delete all those requests. I do wonder about them. But I’m sticking with my Outlander hero who reminds me of my guy, absent the kilt.

So, up and back I go, or rather I shift from side to side, trying to hold steady in the midst of this strange time. I hope I can keep that keel firmly centered, while knowing full well, I can be knocked off my course in a split second. You know, that’s really how it always is but thinking that way round the clock is too hard – taking a break from dwelling on the uncertainty is necessary for survival.

The Delicacy of an Even Keel I’m not exactly a nautical type. I’ve been in a variety of boats. I’ve paddled a canoe and rowed a row boat.

[mister-mooney]

HOW PLANNING CHANGED MY LIFE

Do you have a planner? If yes, does it work? During my harsh preparations for university entrance exam, I have nearly lost it all: social life, friends, and close family connections. I was only focused on my studies forgetting about balanced life. With completely lost motivation, I started procrastinating and almost stopped studying. It was hard for me to concentrate and make myself to sit at my desk and get the work done. During that time my social media addiction reached its highest point. However, every cloud has a silver lining. My tumblr and Pinterest feeds were full of those pretty notes and planners. Those posts were motivating, they called for action. And that’s, kids, how I started my planning journey.

So, I started planning and I tried everything: daily planning, weekly, to-do lists… Did it work? At first, no. Not really. My beautifully decorated planners did not stay with me for more than a week and were absolutely useless. If you have not planned even a day in your life, do not expect that starting from Monday you will become an advanced planner. And I decided to go slowly instead and got myself a very simple notebook and ended up with my own planning system. I simply wrote down all my assignments with dates I got them and, also, marked payment days to my tutors. Those assignments I wrote in a form of to-do lists, for instance, do 5 math problems on page 100. And it worked! Something so simple yet genius gave me maximum flexibility and helped me to track everything I had to do.

Since then my planning style evolved and changed a lot, but benefits planning gives me are constant. I am able to combine my university studies, 30 hours a week job and housework without stress and anxiety. My planner is my greatest learning tool; I have discovered myself with my planner and it taught me some discipline. My life has changed in 3 ways with a planner:

My time-perception improved a lot. Now, I can set realistic time-wise goals and I really feel that there are 24 hours in my day

Being an experienced procrastinator, I usually found my days, weeks and even months were running through my fingers like sand. This happened right until I started putting all my work on paper and crossing it out when completed. But writing those to-do lists in a way that will really motivate you is another branch of science. Firstly, I wrote my to-do lists, and then completed some tasks, got my satisfaction out of crossing it out, but what I noticed is that big tasks were still left uncompleted. Meaning that at the end of the day I was still procrastinating, while being productive. Ironic, is not it?

Imagine having a big research essay due in two weeks. You may think that it is quite a long time and one can manage to complete this work with no problem. Hold my beer. I procrastinated so much that I was left with only 24 hours to make a research and wrote an essay on the topic of Media Bias in observing Ukrainian crisis. How do you like the topic?

That is where flexibility of a blank notebook comes handy: I divided my big tasks on smaller subtasks and it was easier for me to start working. So I have never ever written a research essay in a day again in my life.

Reduced stress and anxiety levels are the outcomes I am thankful for the most.

Having an action plan for a day, with prioritized tasks highlighted, improves time-management. Moreover, while planning, I think about all possible problems and obstacles I may face and it makes me fully prepared for this life.  I am less likely to have “OMG I have forgotten about the deadline” moment than 3 years ago, when I had no planner. Besides, my memory seems to improve a lot, which is not surprising as there are many researches that prove to write something down means to remember. The trick is that when you write down something important, you relieve tension from your brain. This information does not clog your thoughts anymore, your brain is not afraid to forget it, thus, you are feeling less stressful.

Remember, that prioritizing is crucial. You may write 60 tasks and accomplish 50 of them in a day and end up with no real work done while feeling exhausted and tired. This happened because those 10 tasks that you skipped were what you should have been focused on. Refer to the example above with my research essay. Believe me you do not want to get through my experience. So, clean your focus and prioritize, my friend.

With my planner in my hands, I have a great tool to evaluate my work progress. Planner can be everything you want it to be. If I feel like I need to do some journaling or doodling or I want to evaluate my work progress at this point of the semester – I simply open my planner. I have a memory pages, gratitude log, progress, time, sleep trackers. I can reflect and journal on basically every step that I made and that is simply great. After completing really big project, I usually write myself a review, a small comment where I evaluate me myself as an employer. With the crazy pace we are living, it is good to stop for 10 minutes and just reflect on your day/project/assignment/ whatever. This helps you to live consciously, cleanse your mind and understand what to do next. Journaling and planning are common habits for all successful people all over the world. Treat your planning routine as meditation and stay motivated and productive whole year long.