#its literally a whatever moment to me.
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i’m not trying to be rude but niall never said heartbreak weather was a happy album LMAOOO he said like 80 times it was about all angles of a breakup… also how are u gonna say heaven doesnt match the context of the song when you’ve only heard one verse of it…?
he did also say that about hbw, but i know he also said the album was happier than flicker (true still) and that most of the songs were dancey songs. im digging for the quote but idk how to find it bc it was before there was promo for hbw and possibly even before ntmy promo. maybe when he posted the tweets (im p sure it was a tweet batch) hbw was mostly a happy album and then became what it is now.
and i literally said at the end of my tags that heaven could match the context he gave us
it's just that i dont trust what hes saying bc theres a lot that niall says about his music that straight up doesnt match the reality of it. i rmr when he was describing hbw to us, he said that most of the songs were folk rock and close to the eagles in sound, and then we got a bunch of pop and dance music. ntmy, nothing, cym, and small talk were the only songs close to any genre of rock. so idk!
#sending letters to addresses in a ghost town#also ik u said u werent trying to be rude but like highkey you were#if ur just gonna send me an ask thats borderline trying to start and argument#just dont#im not rly into debating randoms esp abt niall bc most of his fans are..... at the very least they are not for me :)#1d#horan#anon#he also constantly misjudged his release times but that might not have been his fault#i just rmr that he was off about 8 months for flicker#idr if he was off for hbw at all bc i was busy and not on tumblr a lot#also i wanna say that none of this is meant to be a knock on him#i love him and i love his music#i just know that ive expected stuff out of his music and then been like ???? because he said one thing and we were given another#its literally a whatever moment to me.#like i dont care that much i was just making a funny comment
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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#6.
#whatre y gonna post leo? More trigun? Danny phantom maybe? NO. WRONG. BEN 10 ALIEN FORCE S2 FINALE MOMENT. DIE FOREVER#this show is NOT GOOD !!!!!!! Thats a lie yes it is. No its not. Its. SIGH#these two PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!#but this bit literally made me choke up and clutch my head. Oh my god#Esp when paralleled w kevins arc later.... I FEEL UNWELL#Something something to be so monstrous and dangerous and to have someone love you anyway. Whatever.#uaf#ben 10 uaf#ben 10 alien force#kevin levin#gwen tennyson#DO I HAVE TO TAG THEIR SHIP THIS IS SOOOO CRINGE#gwevin#its like. I like it in my head BUT THIS SHOW IS BAD#ben 10#kevin 11#< cause i thinknits funny
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Finished System Collapse the other day & Murderbot has never been more relatable
First image based on this post by @murderbot-moodboard
#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#system collapse#perihelion#asshole research transport#ratthi#ayda mensah#amena#googling to make sure I'm spelling amena right. bcos I misspelled Ratthis name in a previous post and haven't recovered from the shame#Sadly names pass thru my brain like sand thru time or whatever so. vibes only. i remember the sound not the letters. nightmare#Anyway murderbot mental health moment: the book was alot of fun#i need to do a reread now knowing what REDACTED meant the whole time#cause the wife and I were in torture thru the whole book like what the FUCK did murderbot DO#we were CONVINCED it had stood in the middle of ARTs lounge & loudly announced suicidal intent or something#or like yelled at everyone for risking their lives to come back and retrieve equipment <= it means itself#the combo misery and also sort of relief finding out it was literally just that murderbot has Been Through It#& is Suffering the Consequences#was kind of immense#anyway murderbot who is a crazy little asshole. its so me#Shadow the Hedgehog Gijinka looking motherfucker. I gotta pin down my design for it better#hope the memory visions r comprehensible but tbh whatever if theyre not#squiddlyart
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had to babysit nephews for 4 hours and at the end i had them saying Yay and Yippee and things of this nature
#talkys#like literally bc i say yay for everything#also wont go into depth but god its so crazy. its jst so crazy having had been#insanely younger than my siblings and being neglected by my family and rationalizing it with well who wants to#hang out with a little kid.#but dealing with children and seeing that its like. Not Hard to at least pretend. is so crazy.#saying this in general but especially bc they also left repeating and enjoying the funny way i say ''no'' in a sing song voice#i remember when i was small and liked the way my sister said a word or made a funny sound she'd get so mad#when i pointed it out and asked her to repeat it bc i made me laugh#and it always made me feel horrible and fueled whatever i have going witt#*with being super aware of fleeting moments 💔
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^this but unironically
#also this is such a ridiculous comparison#one of them gets more and more angry as the show progresses actively hurting the people around them#and that’s not me being analytical or hashtag deancrit or whatever it’s just. canon#he has a whole fucking arc about how hes becoming more and more angry and its taking him over and turning him into someone awful#like it’s not a well executed arc <3 but it is about that.#it’s not a coincidence that moc happens right after dean does like some of his worst show moments ever#aka being awful to sam all of s8 for daring to try to move on and then getting him possessed and gaslighting him about it#like they don’t tie up moc in a fulfilling way dean just gets worse and worse and never heals but. Whatever#meanwhile. the other (sam) gets villainised by the show for showing entirely appropriate anger Which by the way is never directed violently#at dean in fact we barely even SEE it in him sam just says he FEELS angry all the time and somehow believes this is proof he is innately#evil and the show AGREES with him. and as the show goes on he stops being able to access this anger even in self preservation and has his#sense of personhood and autonomy worn down again and again#. Like that is completely different#‘whenever dean expresses it that’s just him being abusive’#Literally yes. like i worry for you if you think that trying to kill a child because you’re upset your family died is like Good Normal#Behaviour#it’s understandable in the context of deans life! all his behaviour is! but that doesn’t make it good…#spn#fandom wank#oliver talks#supernatural
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pietà
#rwby#summer rose#salem#yeah sorry the normal ruby picture was just a brief moment of lucidity before my boss theme started playing again#mlem#this image is literally so dark lol sorry to the low screen brightness crowd...thats on me...#shes alive btw its just that 'summer rose' the idea the martyr the concept has to die. something something symbolic rebirth. whatever#you KNOW i jsut wanted to draw a pieta for my favorite martyr girl<3 she just got cream cheesed on the way to enlightenment#certified bangers
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what if i was glad you were obscured from my view because even if i cant bridge the distance between us the thought that i might understand you better than i'd expected to hurts far too much to think about
vs.
what if i tried in a small secret moment while you were sleeping and couldnt see me to see the world through your eyes in hopes it could help me understand you and maybe even bridge the distance between us
#AND THE WAY THE TWO MOMENTS ARE BACK TO BACK???#the way it's always about seeing and being seen and the risks and perils and rewards and status and identity of it#the mortifying ordeal of being known of it all#(also its literally always about the haaaands but thats a sob session for another day!)#i have another migraine and apparently my suffering is now linked in a pavlovian way with disinhibited rambling about them again#so this is me making lemonade or whatever. as one does!!!#fifty years later i'll come back to this arc with even newer strings connecting the dots on that charlie day meme#(the dots spell out that they're in love btw. in case anyone was wondering#)#natsume problems#horrible exorcists
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please tell me people are joking when they say sonic prime is queerbaiting with sonic and shadow. that is not whats going on here please be serious you guys just see sonic and shadow interact in any way and become unable to turn your shipping brains off
#and even if it is a joke its still kinda annoying because people get the definition wrong all the time and this sort of thing isnt helping#queerbaiting is when they On Purpose hint at characters being gay just to appeal to gay viewers with no intention of making it official#NOT ''these characters read as gay to me but thats not what the writers were actually going for''#NOT ''my favorite ship didnt become canon''#(whatever happened to just liking a ship without expecting for it to become canon anyway)#you can think sonic and shadow are gay if you want to i literally do not care#unlike most other sonic and shadow interactions i can definitely see why people think some of their scenes in sonic prime are gay#but i highly doubt the writers were intentionally trying to hint that theyre in love like . come on.#nothing they do is inherently romantic whatsoever some of the sonic and shadow moments that get labelled as gay#are things sonic does with his other friends too and people dont freak out nearly as much in those cases#why is it always the so/nadow obsessed people who are annoying about this stuff#like sonic and knuckles are gay as hell but i never see people accuse sega of queerbaiting with them
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theo and liam always getting paired together in 6b during episodes where all of the other storylines focus on couples going through stuff together is so funny because when you look at it, the only episode where they really get split up is genotype, which is one of the rare episodes where scott ISN’T paired with malia (because he’s with liam) and mason isn’t with corey (because he’s with theo) aka the canon love interests. like these episodes were cutting from shit like scalia almost dying together to thiam having intimate conversations about how liam processes emotions and morey saying i love you to thiam swearing that neither of them are dying for each other 😭 just very amusing to me. theo raeken: the accidental love interest.
#like 😭#6b eps post theo getting kidnapped go pressure test -> triggers -> werewolves of london -> genotype -> 6.19 which i barely remember ->#then wolves of war aka the finale#pressure test: mason & corey are at deatons. theo shows up at the police station w everyone & shoves liam in the bathroom to berate him for#not being worried ab his own safety enough ??? 😭 & hes pretty much attached to liams hip in the group shots#also while theo & scott are outside doing their lil body bag trick malia and liam are pressed right against the window watching both of them#& during triggers we dont see corey but mason leaves theo & liam alone . & its a major bonding ep for them….#while scalia are also having their major bonding moment when they both almost Die#then during werewolves of london theo just shows up at the school and they end up calling scalia for help 😭#and again genotype breaks all the couples off from each other so its mason n theo / scott n liam / malia with her dad#and during wolves of war i literally laughed out loud because it bounces around from jethan to morey to thiam all having heart to hearts#not saying it was intentional but it was very funny framing TO ME#that ao3 tag thats like ‘they are dating in secret but only one is aware’ LIEKDJENEBR#they basically made theo liam’s love interest on accident just bcuz everyone else was already paired off w someone 😭#thiam#saw someone the other day say they just dont get how people Came Up with thiam and its like#ok if you dont ship it whatever but if you say you cant see why youre just lying 😭 look at the material
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idk man but i think theres such a connection between will being possessed in s2 and like 'what happens when my boy is gone' and will giving the painting to mike under el's name. just like... will being replaced and then replacing himself. and like his entire person was being replaced by the mf, but also everything that he said was from el with the painting and speech was intrinsically his and his alone. and how his arc since s1 has been about hiding but also being right there. and how its all tied to his queerness. and how ideally in s5 this should lead to will not hiding/moving on from his identity and his feelings, but instead embracing them.
#like what happens when will has given away/up everything that he is. hes already Come Back Wrong and he just like. keeps removing himself#from things. even after it was done To him by the mf/vecna. and like the only people who can 'bring him back' are jonathan mike and joyce#ship of theseus moment (not really)#but also really. i mean idk about actual philosophy but will is the heart of the show like its literally about how people love him so much#and like. his identity and queerness is to integral to it all. and like okay some of his parts were replaced but the love brought him back#time and time again and it will in s5 too.#or whatever that means idk#which is also why will should kiss mike. not the other way round. and i will die on this hill even after it doesnt happen#and also why will just moving on and 'accepting' his feelings are unrequited would be a dogshit resolution to his arc with mike but wtv...#what im trying to say is in s5 will not hiding and being loved and not replacing himself with anything else and kissing boys is not just#smth that should happen bc he deserves happiness. but smth necessary to complete his arc. okay? okay#will byers#byler#i feel like ive made this post 5 times before but its just smth i feel very strongly about sorry#wheww... category 5 will byers moment.#me vs being coherent and concise#mine
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finished rogue trader. so mad about it i had to take a nap and then start a whole new playthru again to cope <3
#tay plays rogue trader#I DIDNT GET THE HEINRIX-LEAVES-THE-INQ ENDING..... AFTER EVERYTHING...... GRILLS MYSELF............#actually sooooooooo miserable like what do you mean ''the two lovers rarely crossed paths going forward..... '' shut up literally fake news#that man was HOOKED !!!!! he could not get enough !!!!!!#sigh. anyways. *clicks new game* heres how leda von valancius can still win#aka playing diviner is so funny bc i can just metagame thru every mistake i have ever made irt her playthru <3 just a dream bby its fine dw#anyway i loved the game sooooooo much. way more than i thought i would#definitely a top 5 rpg for me i think#my only main critique (outside of the 7 million bugs lol) was smth SO many games do and it pisses me off to no end#how the game will just. literally END. it will CEASE. the second u do the final boss#da2 did it ! fallout did it ! pillars of eternity did it ! bg3 did it before they added the epilogue months later#its so common and it makes me mad bc its so lazy... like throughout the entire game the story allows u to opt in#to moments of catharsis w ur companions.... to get their viewpoints and reflect on whats happened. but the ending just Ends lol#and ik Ending the story is a catharsis in and of itself but damb maybe i just want to celebrate killing whatever the fuck a c'tan shard is#with bae yknow. but fuck me i guess !!!#KJFDGJKFDG#BUT IM JUST BEING A HATER. LOVED THE GAME RECOMMEND TO ALL THE MOOTS !#im so excited to replay and make all the same choices i did the first time but Sexy this time. and also to build the party correctly#so its not just me and heinrix carrying everybody on our backs this time 😔✊ tho that was pretty funny tbh
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no one can know about the weird gay thing i have going on with kms jokes
#mordred mental microscope moment#spire rambles#cw suicide mention#ITS REALLY FUNNY LIKE .#Somehow ive been making them way more (still not often tbf just On Occasion) as a Direct Result of my mental health improving#because suicide was/is a Major Theme of my OCD to the point that i was like. afraid to even think about it#lest i accidentally condition myself into wanting it#which was frankly more damaging to my Me than any joke has ever been .#i mean obviously i dont make them around people i dont know for Absolutely Certain are comfortable with them#and even then i do try to avoid them if just because there are far funnier and more creative jokes i could make. but like.#being able to make a Shitty Little Joak to myself is. i guess like my way of saying Fuck You to the Obsessive Compulsions (from the Disorde#if that makes sense. it probably doesnt. but ehhh whagtever im literally just fuckin saying words#i can say whatever. My house (blog)
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the urge to text him at 2am and tell him i love him nd then kill myself bcz im scared of his reaction
#stg i did not sign up for the internalised homophobia this crush has brought me#for so long i “had no internalised homophobia bcz it felt so natural and was never rlly portrayed as a bad thing” or whatever#but suddenly this happens and the moment i think of him in any way my brains like#“kys u fucking fag stop being a perv he probably knows nd is def uncomfortable as hell just be normal ffs”#LIKE BRO I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS#I THOUGHT ID BEEN SPARED#AT LEAST WHEN IT CAME TO SEXUALITY (genders its own thing)#BUT NO MY BRAIN IG SAW HOW MY BLORBOS REACTED TO THIS STUFF IN FANFIC AND UNIRONICALLY COPIED IT OR WHAYEVER#he’s literally gay too but i still feel gross as hell abt it yk#like when he IDed as aroace it made a bit of sense for me to feel like that but he’s literally into men yk-#idk i can’t fully explain it#ryan shut the fuck up
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i left a bowl of soup on my desk two weeks ago and forgot about it for one day. and it has been growing slowly moldy. it is terrifying. i am so scared of it. i am so scared and i need to get rid of it because it is getting so bad and there's like at least four different types of mold on it and at least one i don't even recognize but i'm just so fucking terrified to touch it or even get close to it guys i need help what do i do i am honestly so terrified and i am starting to get scared to be in my room and i feel like i kind of can't breathe in here which is not really good and also i am such a shitty roommate but i am just so scared i cannot emphasize how fucking terrified i am
#boink#ocd#i keep saying ill deal with it#and then every time i look at it im like shit#its mold#fucking#its fucking mold#and then i leave it#and then obviously leaving it makes it get worse#to the point where like this thing is actually probably becoming a biohazard#what the fuck do i do with it#i am the disgusting person you hear about#but im starting to literally avoid my room because im so scared of the mold radiation or whatever the fuck#i feel like its touched everything#im scared to sleep in my room tognith#genuinely if anyone has any ideas for how to deal with this rn#like ig just suck it up and fucking deal with it#but guys i do not think the cbt worked well enough for me to manage that rn#like if anyone with ocd has ideas for how to minimize the obsession and the fear so i can just get it over with#like anything i can do in the moment idk#i feel not well and even though i literally know that its not related i just keep connecting everything to this fucking contaminant#and at this point who knows honsetly that actually could be the case#because i have fucking problems and i let it get out of hand#im kind of losing it
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Guy that I am. So normal about
#al art#al ocs#imagine me in a locked echo chamber just wailing about denys#thats my head right now#im so fucked up sbout them. because. i had a little thiught#before my reasoning for ehy denys wouldnt kill axel was a mix of professionalism and contradictory feelings#now having given it more thought ive realised its specifically because axel is OK with it#denys WANTS axel to be scared for zir life denys NEEDS axel to be terrified#because thats how vos parents felt. they were scared. they didnt want to die. they didnt want to be Killed.#and little denys was so so so scared stumbling upon the scene that vo was gonna be next. who wouldnt be. wicks parents were Murdered#wick needs to get that revenge to have axel be so so scared like they all were back then#but zes just not.#its been 5 years since axel found out who denys was and almost immediately ze realised that whatever punishment denys wanted was justified#it would be the right thing. fae wouldn't fight it.#so now neither of them gets what they want. they cant.#denys still wants axel to think wick would and could kill fae at any moment but axel is ok with that#i am literally in my room seperate from my family on hogmanay and gripping my glass of blue wkd. i am SO normal right now#denys#axel
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