#its literally a whatever moment to me.
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i’m not trying to be rude but niall never said heartbreak weather was a happy album LMAOOO he said like 80 times it was about all angles of a breakup… also how are u gonna say heaven doesnt match the context of the song when you’ve only heard one verse of it…?
he did also say that about hbw, but i know he also said the album was happier than flicker (true still) and that most of the songs were dancey songs. im digging for the quote but idk how to find it bc it was before there was promo for hbw and possibly even before ntmy promo. maybe when he posted the tweets (im p sure it was a tweet batch) hbw was mostly a happy album and then became what it is now.
and i literally said at the end of my tags that heaven could match the context he gave us
it's just that i dont trust what hes saying bc theres a lot that niall says about his music that straight up doesnt match the reality of it. i rmr when he was describing hbw to us, he said that most of the songs were folk rock and close to the eagles in sound, and then we got a bunch of pop and dance music. ntmy, nothing, cym, and small talk were the only songs close to any genre of rock. so idk!
#sending letters to addresses in a ghost town#also ik u said u werent trying to be rude but like highkey you were#if ur just gonna send me an ask thats borderline trying to start and argument#just dont#im not rly into debating randoms esp abt niall bc most of his fans are..... at the very least they are not for me :)#1d#horan#anon#he also constantly misjudged his release times but that might not have been his fault#i just rmr that he was off about 8 months for flicker#idr if he was off for hbw at all bc i was busy and not on tumblr a lot#also i wanna say that none of this is meant to be a knock on him#i love him and i love his music#i just know that ive expected stuff out of his music and then been like ???? because he said one thing and we were given another#its literally a whatever moment to me.#like i dont care that much i was just making a funny comment
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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#6.
#whatre y gonna post leo? More trigun? Danny phantom maybe? NO. WRONG. BEN 10 ALIEN FORCE S2 FINALE MOMENT. DIE FOREVER#this show is NOT GOOD !!!!!!! Thats a lie yes it is. No its not. Its. SIGH#these two PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!#but this bit literally made me choke up and clutch my head. Oh my god#Esp when paralleled w kevins arc later.... I FEEL UNWELL#Something something to be so monstrous and dangerous and to have someone love you anyway. Whatever.#uaf#ben 10 uaf#ben 10 alien force#kevin levin#gwen tennyson#DO I HAVE TO TAG THEIR SHIP THIS IS SOOOO CRINGE#gwevin#its like. I like it in my head BUT THIS SHOW IS BAD#ben 10#kevin 11#< cause i thinknits funny
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Finished System Collapse the other day & Murderbot has never been more relatable
First image based on this post by @murderbot-moodboard
#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#system collapse#perihelion#asshole research transport#ratthi#ayda mensah#amena#googling to make sure I'm spelling amena right. bcos I misspelled Ratthis name in a previous post and haven't recovered from the shame#Sadly names pass thru my brain like sand thru time or whatever so. vibes only. i remember the sound not the letters. nightmare#Anyway murderbot mental health moment: the book was alot of fun#i need to do a reread now knowing what REDACTED meant the whole time#cause the wife and I were in torture thru the whole book like what the FUCK did murderbot DO#we were CONVINCED it had stood in the middle of ARTs lounge & loudly announced suicidal intent or something#or like yelled at everyone for risking their lives to come back and retrieve equipment <= it means itself#the combo misery and also sort of relief finding out it was literally just that murderbot has Been Through It#& is Suffering the Consequences#was kind of immense#anyway murderbot who is a crazy little asshole. its so me#Shadow the Hedgehog Gijinka looking motherfucker. I gotta pin down my design for it better#hope the memory visions r comprehensible but tbh whatever if theyre not#squiddlyart
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had to babysit nephews for 4 hours and at the end i had them saying Yay and Yippee and things of this nature
#talkys#like literally bc i say yay for everything#also wont go into depth but god its so crazy. its jst so crazy having had been#insanely younger than my siblings and being neglected by my family and rationalizing it with well who wants to#hang out with a little kid.#but dealing with children and seeing that its like. Not Hard to at least pretend. is so crazy.#saying this in general but especially bc they also left repeating and enjoying the funny way i say ''no'' in a sing song voice#i remember when i was small and liked the way my sister said a word or made a funny sound she'd get so mad#when i pointed it out and asked her to repeat it bc i made me laugh#and it always made me feel horrible and fueled whatever i have going witt#*with being super aware of fleeting moments 💔
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I'm gonna froth at the mouth over this in the tags so bear with me but reason #1278038 why the way rick went about breaking up jiper was bad: rereading her povs in hoo where she gushes over jason feels like even more of an unreliable narrator queer girl comphet psychological horror story
#it's not that that isn't interesting (it's fascinating actually. especially for a daughter of aphrodite!!!)#it's that it Obviously wasn't his og intention. the ending of hoo is clearly intended to give a positive impression of jiper#this is worsened because shelper is wildly underdeveloped so it's like Dude what did you even do this for#literally just an afterthought. a footnote really. he said “ok here's your canon sapphic rep pls stop shipping theyna now” /j#she was a main character in one of the main couples in hoo it's so crazy? how can that happen. he would never do this to percabeth#can you imagine if percabeth broke up offscreen and 2 months later annabeth was with some complete rando and then percy died. girl what#it's the kind of setup/payoff issue that is difficult to put into words because he set up something (jiper and all its complex morality)#to ultimately be good because they're making the choice to love each other in the end (poorly executed but whatever I don't hate it)#and then in toa????? he just obliterates them for no payoff and creates a new impression of the most literal case of comphet imaginable? wh#toa is my absolute least favorite sorry#marginally related but if we can Be. Chill. and acknowledge that he originally wrote nico as crushing on annabeth#(we can argue all day about how Definite the crush was but come on. he did not put percy's speculation of it in there for no reason)#(and he obviously did not plan for nico to be gay back then you will literally never convince me of this)#(representation was NOT on his mind in the first 5 books that's why the cast is almost completely white except charles and ethan)#(the disposable poc who die tragically btw)#then I see a similarly confusing debacle but like. in the opposite way#something something sexuality is fluid you can be gay and feel confused about how u used to have a het crush but are still gay#nico says so himself to piper which is hilarious#it's just the lack of consistency and poor planning that I hate........... it is a ginormous pet peeve of mine and it's All Over His Books#piper already reads as having so much growing to do regarding her gender and sexuality because Somebody#(the man writing her) littered her pov with internalized misogyny/anti hyperfemininity and went nowhere with it#rr crit#percy jackson and the olympians#piper mclean#jason grace#pjo hoo toa#anti jiper#<- I PROMISE I am not actually anti-jiper I am very neutral about it as I am with all jason ships. they had cute moments#tagging that just in case#this comes from a place of deep love for the franchise and it's characters btw I have been a fan since I was 8
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oh so i just spent like 8 hours drawing something just to look for references just now and realize that someones already drawn literally this thing with similar artistic choices and stuff too
#not like i was having a breakdown or anything as i was drawing it and the thought of finishing such a cool drawing was the only#thing keeping me remotely happy in the moment.#or something#literally whatever man#i even realized that i saw it before and i was basically copying it without realizing cause i forgot i ever saw it#idk its worthless to me now so whatever i need to go to bed or something i literally feel like dogshit#i dont wanna post copied work so im gonna go fuck myself ig#-_-#aghhhh banging my head on the table
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what if i was glad you were obscured from my view because even if i cant bridge the distance between us the thought that i might understand you better than i'd expected to hurts far too much to think about
vs.
what if i tried in a small secret moment while you were sleeping and couldnt see me to see the world through your eyes in hopes it could help me understand you and maybe even bridge the distance between us
#AND THE WAY THE TWO MOMENTS ARE BACK TO BACK???#the way it's always about seeing and being seen and the risks and perils and rewards and status and identity of it#the mortifying ordeal of being known of it all#(also its literally always about the haaaands but thats a sob session for another day!)#i have another migraine and apparently my suffering is now linked in a pavlovian way with disinhibited rambling about them again#so this is me making lemonade or whatever. as one does!!!#fifty years later i'll come back to this arc with even newer strings connecting the dots on that charlie day meme#(the dots spell out that they're in love btw. in case anyone was wondering#)#natsume problems#horrible exorcists
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^this but unironically
#also this is such a ridiculous comparison#one of them gets more and more angry as the show progresses actively hurting the people around them#and that’s not me being analytical or hashtag deancrit or whatever it’s just. canon#he has a whole fucking arc about how hes becoming more and more angry and its taking him over and turning him into someone awful#like it’s not a well executed arc <3 but it is about that.#it’s not a coincidence that moc happens right after dean does like some of his worst show moments ever#aka being awful to sam all of s8 for daring to try to move on and then getting him possessed and gaslighting him about it#like they don’t tie up moc in a fulfilling way dean just gets worse and worse and never heals but. Whatever#meanwhile. the other (sam) gets villainised by the show for showing entirely appropriate anger Which by the way is never directed violently#at dean in fact we barely even SEE it in him sam just says he FEELS angry all the time and somehow believes this is proof he is innately#evil and the show AGREES with him. and as the show goes on he stops being able to access this anger even in self preservation and has his#sense of personhood and autonomy worn down again and again#. Like that is completely different#‘whenever dean expresses it that’s just him being abusive’#Literally yes. like i worry for you if you think that trying to kill a child because you’re upset your family died is like Good Normal#Behaviour#it’s understandable in the context of deans life! all his behaviour is! but that doesn’t make it good…#spn#fandom wank#oliver talks#supernatural
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pietà
#rwby#summer rose#salem#yeah sorry the normal ruby picture was just a brief moment of lucidity before my boss theme started playing again#mlem#this image is literally so dark lol sorry to the low screen brightness crowd...thats on me...#shes alive btw its just that 'summer rose' the idea the martyr the concept has to die. something something symbolic rebirth. whatever#you KNOW i jsut wanted to draw a pieta for my favorite martyr girl<3 she just got cream cheesed on the way to enlightenment#certified bangers
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i think its very funny how embarrassingly down bad cquackity was for ccharlie Immediately right off the bat. maybe its just their limited improv/semi-lore screentime that enhances the feeling but like he literally just took him, taught him how to gamble for like 40 minutes and then immediately started saying shit like “you are my best friend you are the greatest friend that i have”. there was NOTHING gradual or reluctant about it he pretty much leaped into his arms without question
#i hget so sick when i just think about how in love they are and how explicitly happy they make eachotjer#the way cquackity is just constantly giddy and happy whenever ccharlies around and all the times where he’s like excited to introduce him#and the moments where ccharlie seems especially interested in whatever it is that cquackitys doing rather than something else#hashtag that was a nice hole earlier but i do miss quackity from las nevadas Hashtag canon line that slime actually said#ALSO while ranting. this could just be a me inside my own head thing but what honestly gets me the most abt ccharlies feelings for cquackity#is. nobody told him to be like that really. his fondness for him was Not something that he was taught or conditioned to do even right at the#beginning when hes literally talking about killing him ccharlies still like. He kisses him dude#as far as im concerned the way he sees kissing is just oh people do this when they like someone and i REALLY like quackity#so im gonna kiss him 3 times sounds good#One more thing abt their first meeting. i just love how despite how like not attached to or liking ccharlie cquackity is in that scene#he still Cant help but compliment him and be amazed by him with remarking how its incredible how a slime could do thjs#whmat fuciing ever bro
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never thought i'd hear chk chk boom be played at our school field on the speakers but we gone done it lol
#we're basically having sports week at our school and all of our days are spent at the field#and they were making the kids play musical chair AS A SPORT (😭) but we were having fun because they started playing songs on the speakers#while everyone was busy cheering me and my friends started chanting 'change the song! change the song!" LMAO#and it was so fun seeing others join haha#its not like our school didn't play kpop. its just the usual gangnam style and SOME bts songs if we're lucky#but usually its just random songs i feel like the sir was just scrolling through insta reels and chose whatever he was watching 😭😭#WE SUCESSFULLY MADE THEM PLAY APT BY ROSE#we started chanting 'A-P-T!' continuously and then EVERYBODY JOINED IN IT WAS SO FUN#and maybe he found a kpop playlist via that because then he played dynamite lol#BUT THEN one of my teachers called me aside for some discussion regarding the prep for the next days and then while shes talking to me#I HEAR CHK CHK BOOM PLAYING HDASHDASJK#my stay friends came up to me to call me but then they saw things were v serious between the teachers and all so they started smirking/groa#-ing#RAHH I MISSED IT THE FIRST TIME AND THE FOMO WAS HITTING ME HARD#but THEN after a few rounds of some desi item songs THEY PLAYED IT AGAINDHAHDA#i had a religious experience listening to chan's pre-chorus on the loud speakers. thats all ill say#we were literally rapping in gibberish and i literally fell on my knees when chan's part came up im not even embarrassed 😭😭#and it was so surprising to me to see everyones reaction because they were like oh! ur a kpop stan! oh! like i feel their whole perception#of me has changed somehow 💀 cant say if its for the better or worse loll#but all that matters was i got to experience this religious moment with my friends cuz im just a girl🙇♀️🎀#(also cuz it was musical chairs they stopped playing just before the chorus 😥 but that didn't stop us from screaming the whole song heheh)#stray kids#skz#personal
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please tell me people are joking when they say sonic prime is queerbaiting with sonic and shadow. that is not whats going on here please be serious you guys just see sonic and shadow interact in any way and become unable to turn your shipping brains off
#and even if it is a joke its still kinda annoying because people get the definition wrong all the time and this sort of thing isnt helping#queerbaiting is when they On Purpose hint at characters being gay just to appeal to gay viewers with no intention of making it official#NOT ''these characters read as gay to me but thats not what the writers were actually going for''#NOT ''my favorite ship didnt become canon''#(whatever happened to just liking a ship without expecting for it to become canon anyway)#you can think sonic and shadow are gay if you want to i literally do not care#unlike most other sonic and shadow interactions i can definitely see why people think some of their scenes in sonic prime are gay#but i highly doubt the writers were intentionally trying to hint that theyre in love like . come on.#nothing they do is inherently romantic whatsoever some of the sonic and shadow moments that get labelled as gay#are things sonic does with his other friends too and people dont freak out nearly as much in those cases#why is it always the so/nadow obsessed people who are annoying about this stuff#like sonic and knuckles are gay as hell but i never see people accuse sega of queerbaiting with them
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Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:
She'd rebuild it—what she had been.
Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.
Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."
"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.
"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."
"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.
Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.
Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.
At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.
In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.
She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.
Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."
A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.
She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."
Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."
"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."
Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.
"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."
"I do know."
"And?"
"And what do you wish me to say?"
She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"
"If what?"
"If you wish it wasn't so."
His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"
She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.
It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.
"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."
She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.
"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."
She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"
"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."
"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."
"Then it is her choice, not yours."
Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."
"What did she show you?" A breathless question.
Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."
She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."
His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"
She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.
Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."
She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.
"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.
"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."
A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"
"We'll face it together," he swore again.
"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.
Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."
"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."
She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.
"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."
She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.
She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"
"I thought you might want to be asked first."
"That never stopped you before."
"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.
She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."
He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.
"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."
The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.
"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.
Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.
Together.
#Chapter 41#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#soulmates#mates#spoilers and notes in tags cause this chapter and also spoilers in post cause this chapter first read react with me read along#Rowaelin chapters scenes moments quotes#they want to make it possible bring that love to light#am I allowed to cry? — Again the word endured — finally the dream — the sand she still sees — he’s magic being steady — them talking time#again if Maeve could convince Rowan Lyria was his mate how bad was it when she convinced Aelin her actual mate was dead… this hurts me…#the fact Aelin stopped being useful because it destroyed her beyond belief but the dreams the dreams almost got her because its all she wan#again then both feeling sorry and the other not realizing and then consent and then comfort and love & I just wanted it2be U how could I no#I know you are tired Fireheart (ALL THE TROPES IN ONE LINE… UGH I MISSED THIS SHIP)#together. one soul in two bodies. their endgame like literally they are. I’d choose you too. even the apologies that were needed just heali#what it might have once been — together — not alone — not returning alone — the king and queen of Terrasen — I need u more — 2 whatever end#Aelin watched the boat until it disappeared trying not to stare too long at the clean unstained sand beneath her boots#always north — she didn’t care she just wanted far away — who knew — what she knew-the letters she sent-Valg-dark blood that had turned red#If it had been another dreamscape or some fragment that had blended into the very real memory of Connall's death. — always a plab&theory#all these things to deal with later-she’d rebuild all she had been-her match helper mirror-matched his piercing stare with her own-wait/res#A far cry from a queen's chamber or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin. — how far we’ve come-she had ENDURED she can do it#I'm your mate she said needing to voice it. And you are mine. — Lyria. — I do know. and?&what do you wish me to say?-this was perfect#If what? If you wish it wasn't so. His brows narrowed. Why would I ever wish that? — Aelin. she looked at him at the pain in his words#the way it's changed since Mistward... and grown... even in names like Whitethorn Galathynius together — the brain thoughts are back —#The kiss was gentle-light. Letting her decide how to guide it. So she did. — he’d do it all night if that was what’s he wished#Together we'll find a way their mingling breaths the crashing sea seemed to echo. Together. — mountains and oceans#Might’ve been before-thought snapped-the bond- u r my mate&I am urs-the world might have been burning for all she cared all he cared too#Together they would face this together they would find a way. — claiming him as he claimed her — a scar a marker a tattoo
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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its important to go see a low stakes concert sometimes
#as in seeing someone in concert youre not an absolute nutbag about (as i have done this year and last year)#but last night me n my dad went and saw renaissance on their farewell tour#running on like 4 hours of sleep and seething to be at work right now#or rather i would be seething if i weren't so tired#new anger management hack: just get less sleep so your senses are dulled! anyway#funniest part of the night was the multiples times when my dad who is old was like 'everyone here is so old :/'#he was literally like 'if i ever get like these people just shoot me' LMAO#the concert was good i wouldn't call it like great or fantastic but such is the beauty of a low stakes concert#youre not living and dying on every song youre not singing along to everything youre just. enjoyin the show normally which is crazy#again as someone who has seen two bands (both bands two separate times and is seeing one of those bands a THIRD TIME soon) im crazy over#that experience is fun its bonkers and you definitely gotta do it for the bands youre crazy over. you gotta#but it was nice to just. have a regular time at a show#as far as the show itself there were a few little moments where things didnt go as smooth but that may have been bc it was the first show#and save for a few moments in some songs annie haslam knocked it out of the park she can still sing as insanely good as she used to#again some parts of songs were in a lower key? but most seemed to be the same and she was still hitting those bonkers high notes#so good for her. the band was pretty good but i felt they really only like all worked together well on a few songs#if that makes sense. but overall pretty good#and my anxieties about getting there and back were unfounded bc somehow it all worked. yay#our car service trip home was in a tesla i felt like i was gonna die the entire ride home lol#i am NEVER getting in one of those stupid cars again. big ass ipad as your dashboard this is insane???? im so scared???#anywho. old musicians are forever as ive been saying lately. and they really are#oh also we were at the town hall which is a nice small theater i was worried abt bein too far away but it's laid out really well#in that you're sure to get a pretty good view of the stage#it seems like half the size roughly of the beacon for whatever thats worth#OH i did see one dude somewhere in the audience with a sparks shirt so. hashtag represent#yet another concert report. yayyyyy#(im so tired)
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