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littlesailorinthesun · 4 years

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is love nikki osha compliant?

Inspired by Brian David Gilbert's legendary Unraveled video "Smash Bros. owes millions of dollars in OSHA violations", I became curious how this would apply to Love Nikki suits. I looked through a few suits of choice to determine how OSHA-compliant they are.

First of all, I would like to say that while I have previously worked in a Health and Safety department, I apologize for any mistakes I make. This is not work (even if real Nikkis' lives are at stake here!)

For the Smash Bros. video, BDG looked primarily at the safety of various fighting arenas. Given that Love Nikki is a dress up game, I will of course be primarily looking at PPE (personal protective equipment) which falls under 1910 Subpart I; however, there are some instances where it is clear the environment is also unsafe.

The issue with determining what is proper PPE is mostly that it varies depends based on the environment you find yourself in. Given that *most* suits don't come with huge background props or backgrounds, I will just be extrapolating based on the item descriptions and the little context we have.

Heavy Machinery

One of my favorite suits, yet one of the worst offenders, Heavy Machinery actually calls out its own violation in the suit itself. If Miraland had OSHA, Heavy Machinery would unfortunately be breaking the rules.

According to OSHA's Nail Gun Safety Guide, people using nail guns should have the following PPE (in addition to the safety goggles): safety shoes (steel toed boots), hard hats, and hearing protection. Unfortunately, while maybe the shoes might have steel toes (though they don't look like they do), Heavy Machinery does not have a hard hat nor any hearing protection that I can see. This puts her in general violation of 1910.132(a).

One of the more frustrating parts is that she has eye protection, but she isn't actually using it! The item description for the goggles even says, "A mechanic can easily hurt his eyes, so it's good to wear goggles. Don't act cool and put them on your head!" Yet, she is doing just that, which causes her to violate 1910.133(a)(1). Please, don't follow her example and make sure to wear your goggles.

I will give her kudos for having the knee pad(?) but the rest of her clothing could probably do a better job. Unfortunately, Heavy Machinery is not OSHA-compliant.

The final comment I'd like to make on her is that if she is really wearing a battery on her back, I will have to give her kudos because those motherfuckers are heavy.

Adventurous Journey

A new environment! Actually, Adventurous Journey is adventuring throughout all of Miraland, and her item descriptions make mention of her visiting many several different places: an abandoned base, an old ruin, even a cave?

Adventurous Journey is wearing some pretty practical clothing, and her hand and foot protection look more than adequate. Her hammer looks like it's in great shape and, like Heavy Machinery, she even has her hair tied back. Her headlight is also a great choice.

While entering unknown spaces like caves can be dangerous, they typically aren't considered confined spaces. Besides that, it sounds like Adventurous Journey only went inside the cave to take shelter from the sandstorm instead of to explore.

Overall, I believe Adventurous Journey is OSHA-compliant. Have fun on your adventures!

Glacier Treader

Ada just wanted to learn something about penguins, but unfortunately she may end up learning something about ice water if she keeps up these unsafe practices.

According to 1910.28(b)(3)(i), employees should be protected from falling in holes by guardrails, covers, or something similar. Unfortunately, there is a giant hole in front of Ada and she has nothing keeping her from falling inside. The straps on her coat aren't attached to anything and that thing looks like it's about to fly off anyways. There may be a penguin in the hole, but such matters do not excuse Ada's research group's lack of fall protection.

On the bright side, the band-aids on Ada's face means that she has access to first aid and medical care!

Horn of Surprise

As fun as it would be to ride a giant candy train, it is unfortunately not OSHA-compliant.

As per 1910.21(b), a walking-working surface is any surface where an employee walks, works, or gains access to another work area. As the train conductor, Shebel is working on the top of the train, and thus it is subject to OSHA guidelines.

Unfortunately, the train is quite high off the ground - definitely more than 4 feet. Because of this, under 1910.28(b)(15), Shebel should have some sort of protection from falling to the ground below her, whether it be a guardrail, safety net, or another personal fall protection system.

She should probably also be wearing better PPE, too.

Ocean Lullaby

According to this suit's lore, Relly swims all the way to the deepest part of the ocean with only a narwhal. From the depiction of her and the fact that she apparently lost consciousness while at the bottom of the ocean, it seems pretty clear that Relly wasn't using proper PPE while swimming.

The most frustrating part about this suit is probably the fact that even the fish have PPE while Relly has nothing (though the efficacy of the snorkels is questionable). She should definitely have some air, and following the proper SCUBA diving procedures (1910.424) would be a great start.

Toy Carnival

What looks like an innocent, fun carnival game is actually an example of a potentially dangerous situation which requires a lot of work and planning. The crane machine is an example of a confined space, which is defined as a space that is large enough to do work, but has limited means for entry and exit, and isn't designed for continuous occupancy. Toy Carnival's crane machine appears to be a small space which doesn't have any immediately apparent way to get out.

There are no hazardous chemicals which would be present inside a claw machine. However, there is a physical hazard, which is the claw crane. Because of this, it is a permit-required confined space.

Toy Carnival is doing a lot of things right. She has an attendant outside (Momo), meaning she is compliant with 1910.146(d)(6). As long as Toy Carnival has a permit and followed all of the necessary procedures, she would be OSHA compliant if not for one thing: There is no visible sign designating the claw machine as a confined space. (1910.146(c)(2))

I will hold out hope that there is a sign on the back, because she was so close.

Explosion

We're going to ignore for the time being that Explosion takes place entirely inside a video game because well, it's all inside a video game one way or another, right? Anyways, you can tell a lot about Explosion just from the name.

Patrice is evidently in some kind of war-like environment. Not only are there guns and cannons going off everywhere, the "explosion" her suit is named for is the explosions of smoke grenades. She uses these to take cover and disguise herself.

While the gas mask is an excellent choice, unfortunately it's not enough. Due to the flying hazards (and probably the smoke too), Patrice needs to be wearing eye protection in order to be in compliance with 1910.133(a)(1), and head protection in order to be in compliance with 1910.135(a)(1).

Now onto another concern, no less pressing than the last: She's also apparently killing people. 1926.900 deals with explosives, and many of the standards mention avoiding the harm of other employees, which gives the impression that it generally isn't allowed. Not warning the others using warning signs, flags, or barricades before killing them with explosives is in direct violation of 1926.900(i).

I will commend Patrice on one thing, which is proper use of the buddy system as defined in 1910.120(a)(3) in the presence of unknown hazards. It sounds like she and Kuma work well together.

Honorable Mentions

Apocalyptic Angel, for her clothes and hair literally being on fire. I don’t know which OSHA violation that is, but it’s definitely something.

Crime Buster, for firing guns any which way without even looking. I don’t even want to touch that can of worms.

Space Fantasy, for not wearing gloves. In outer space.

Ingenious Trend, for allowing bats to carry needles. Again, not sure how that’s illegal, but it must be one way or another.

Appendix

1910.28(b)(3)(i) Each employee is protected from falling through any hole (including skylights) that is 4 feet (1.2 m) or more above a lower level by one or more of the following: 1910.28(b)(3)(i)(A) Covers; 1910.28(b)(3)(i)(B) Guardrail systems; 1910.28(b)(3)(i)(C) Travel restraint systems; or 1910.28(b)(3)(i)(D) Personal fall arrest systems.

(Glacier Treader)

1910.28(b)(15) Walking-working surfaces not otherwise addressed. Except as provided elsewhere in this section or by other subparts of this part, the employer must ensure each employee on a walkingworking surface 4 feet (1.2 m) or more above a lower level is protected from falling by: 1910.28(b)(15)(i) Guardrail systems; 1910.28(b)(15)(ii) Safety net systems; or 1910.28(b)(15)(iii) Personal fall protection systems, such as personal fall arrest, travel restraint, or positioning systems.

(Horn of Surprise)

1910.132(a) Protective equipment, including personal protective equipment for eyes, face, head, and extremities, protective clothing, respiratory devices, and protective shields and barriers, shall be provided, used, and maintained in a sanitary and reliable condition wherever it is necessary by reason of hazards of processes or environment, chemical hazards, radiological hazards, or mechanical irritants encountered in a manner capable of causing injury or impairment in the function of any part of the body through absorption, inhalation or physical contact.

(Heavy Machinery)

1910.133(a)(1) The employer shall ensure that each affected employee uses appropriate eye or face protection when exposed to eye or face hazards from flying particles, molten metal, liquid chemicals, acids or caustic liquids, chemical gases or vapors, or potentially injurious light radiation.

(Heavy Machinery, Explosion)

1910.135(a)(1) The employer shall ensure that each affected employee wears a protective helmet when working in areas where there is a potential for injury to the head from falling objects.

(Explosion)

1910.146(c)(2) If the workplace contains permit spaces, the employer shall inform exposed employees, by posting danger signs or by any other equally effective means, of the existence and location of and the danger posed by the permit spaces. NOTE: A sign reading DANGER -- PERMIT-REQUIRED CONFINED SPACE, DO NOT ENTER or using other similar language would satisfy the requirement for a sign.

(Toy Carnival)

1910.146(d)(6) Provide at least one attendant outside the permit space into which entry is authorized for the duration of entry operations;

(Toy Carnival - compliant)

1926.900(i) Employees authorized to prepare explosive charges or conduct blasting operations shall use every reasonable precaution including, but not limited to, visual and audible warning signals, flags, or barricades, to ensure employee safety.

(Explosion)

#love nikki #love nikki lore #love nikki suits #lowkey shitpost #lnduq

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cant-blink · 3 years

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Megalon And Gigan

Megalon thought Gigan had died. The last he saw of him was the cyborg flying off in severe condition from their fight with Godzilla and Jet Jaguar. So imagine his surprise and delight when Gigan returned to him years later, alive and well!

Gigan told Megalon about what happened to his Masters, how Ghidorah had returned to seek vengeance for their mind-controlling him. How he killed them all while Gigan was too injured to defend them. How he looked into Gigan’s eye before abandoning him to his fate. How he had to scavenge the remains of the Nebulan ship for supplies to bring himself back to health. How he was all alone now.

It sounded absolutely terrible and Megalon couldn’t imagine having his people brutally slaughtered in such a fashion. Megalon tried to console him, but Gigan seemed to have moved on from it all surprisingly well. In fact, he mentions how he wanted Ghidorah as a mate more than ever.

Well, then...

Megalon never said it out loud, buuut...

Gigan can do better. He never met this Ghidorah, but he sounds terrible. Ghidorah was not good enough for someone like Gigan. The dragon clearly didn’t care like Megalon did! He can’t give the cyborg a luxurious life like Megalon can! The beetle tried to convince him to stay with him and the Seatopians; Gigan can be pampered and treated like a god, just like him! And with their partnership, imagine how awesome the battles would be, protecting his people from threats!

And maybe, just maybe, he can get Gigan to see HIM as the better option for a mate...?

But the beetle’s fantasies hit a snag when Gigan showed no real interest in staying with him...

...

No, he came to invite Megalon to come with HIM.

Into space.

As an assassin. As a pirate.

Oh...

Megalon never felt more conflicted in his life. On one drill, Gigan came all the way back to Earth specifically for HIM!! He wanted HIM to join in the adventures; maybe there was something there after all!

On the other drill...

He wasn’t keen on leaving his home and his people behind. He asked if the Seatopians can come with them, but Gigan had no interest in bringing tiny little creatures with him. They may be his Master’s friends, but that didn’t make them HIS friends. He saw no value in them.

It’ll be fine, Megalon, Gigan would reassure. We can always come back to visit every so often, y’know? So it’s not like you’re saying goodbye forever.

Oh, well, that didn’t seem so bad...

Gigan quickly caught on to Megalon’s interest in him (Megalon tries to hide it but can’t to save his life, it’s adorable), and seems to show interest back for him. He makes promises of them living together forever, happy. Megalon was the only one Gigan could want.

Ghidorah? Well, Ghidorah isn’t here, is he? But you are, Megalon, and I would rather take what’s in front of me.

Gigan made it clear that it would break his heart if the beetle refused his offer; with his Masters gone, he had nobody left. Besides, the Seatopians wouldn’t want Megalon to live alone down here; they would surely want him to be happy, right? And Gigan can make him VERY happy.

If he just leave this damn planet and join him.

Eventually, Megalon makes his decision and goes with Gigan into space. He was certain he’d see his people again. They can maybe make a holiday out of it, it’ll be great!

Megalon then sees Gigan had a giant centipede friend too, waiting outside on the surface. The level of disappointment was clear in his voice upon making the discovery.

Oh, he’s coming with us? I mean, nothing wrong with that, just thought it would be the two of us. But more friends, the merrier, as they say. Heh...

So off they go in space! Gigan and Megalon (and Scoli) living the high life, stealing riches from those weaker than they are. Killing innocent victims on a whim. Destroying worlds for profit. Megalon helped Gigan in his assassin career, as a partner-in-crime. It was a lot of fun!!

But...

But he started getting a bit homesick after many years.

Gigan, can we go back to Earth? Just to check on my people? ... Oh, not now? .... We can go back later after we plunder another ship? Alright, then....

Even when they succeed in taking over another ship and massacring everyone inside, Gigan never held true to his word. And Gigan, noticing Megalon’s unhappiness and moping around the hijacked ship, would distract his best friend by taking him into the captain’s bedroom. Remind him why having Gigan by his side is much better than a bunch of puny creatures on a mudball planet.

Megalon definitely didn’t see that coming, but that night they spent together was probably the greatest night of his life.

Surely, it meant that Gigan really did see something special in him. They were mates now, without a doubt. It would give Megalon the motivation to stay in space with the cyborg. They really were destined to be together forever!

So it was a repeating cycle. Whenever Megalon got homesick, Gigan would encourage Megalon to forget and stay with him by indulging in more intimate moments (all the while, secretly imagining the beetle as being Ghidorah during said intimate moments). It always worked without fail.

But by far, Megalon’s favorite parts of their adventure were those moments when it was just the two of them without a ship, where he would be cuddled to Gigan inside that diamond, sleeping blissfully and dreaming of the day he can be back with his people and Gigan would be willing to stay with him on Earth.

He didn’t know when that day will happen, but Gigan assures him it will happen someday. After they lived their best life and decide to settle down. Whenever that would be...

Until one day...

It was like any other. They found a planet to plunder of its resources, only to find an ambush waiting just for them.

Oh wait... What do you mean we’re being arrested! No, go away! Gigan, HELP!! Gigan? Where’d you go? Wait, where are you going? Don’t leave me here!

When the law inevitably catches up to them on this alien world, Gigan does what Gigan does best and abandons Megalon to his fate. Without so much as a glance back. Was the cyborg too injured to keep fighting, like last time he abandoned him back on Earth? Megalon gives Gigan that benefit of the doubt, because the alternative explanation is too painful to even consider.

After a vicious fight, the beetle eventually manages to escape underground, but at what cost? Gigan was gone and Scoli has been captured. He’s all alone on an alien world, far from home and his people.

Gigan. The only one he loved, and his only means of returning home, was gone. Every night, Megalon would come back up to the surface and watch the sky in the hopes the cyborg would come back for him. And every night, he’s disappointed. But he won’t give up; he remembers how he had given Gigan up as dead before, only for him to return years later. It can happen again! He'll wait however long it takes for Gigan to return for him, counting each and every day.

Soon, he’s certain that one of those shooting stars darting across the sky would turn out to be a diamond.

Someday...

#gigan #megalon #godzilla #gigalon #the tragedy of megalon #gigan is still a terrible partner

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sappho114 · 3 years

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I've been reading through A Book of Tales and I've got some Thots about the first two adventures R. Talsorian made for their lovely interlock system TRPG based on The Witcher.

If you're interested in either, buy them from a local game store that's involved in the Bits & Mortar thing and you get the .pdf for free and support a local business. All your game store has to do is email R. Talsorian to sign up to it.

Underneath the Ice didn't flag me as an overall amazing scenario to start with but I really love the theme of it. Kovir and Poviss deserves way more attention and hanging out in Fantasy Denmark and beating up toad monsters, wargs, and the weather really helps put across how dangerous and brutal travel during winter can be. If Death Stranding taught me anything, it's that there's a reason many borders are cut along the line of snow-capped mountains: its fucking dangerous!

I think the weakest part of it is honestly the tie between Henrik and the curse. It acts like there's a definitive "gotcha" moment where the players find evidence of Henrik's guilt for burning some people alive but from how it's written I never could find the smoking gun beyond hard lining Yongar and pressuring him into an answer. Definitely going to have to put a little something in there that's more than a hint when I get to run it. Otherwise, it's a great little gig. The fact that it ends with a high society sorceress party rules and I love the fact that those same sorceresses held a kid "captive" so they could test out their finger foods before the party started. You don't see much wholesome house arrest anymore.

In the Alderwood is practically flawless. It's got an amazingly easy-going premise (literally slottable into any campaign. The whole "you're in a tavern" vibe even can click with some adjustment) and has plenty of great socialization, well-thought NPCs, and at least three empathetic potential antagonists. Between investigating the Alderwood, then getting introduced to the troupe, bringing the villages into peace (and the assorted negotiations that carries with it) and then having a potential antagonist being a Witcher? Oh, baby, I want to run this one so bad.

That final fight sounds brutal, and I'm glad they have the Witcher statted without his class skills because thinking of my party? Parry Arrows would nearly destroy their combat potential. I also think this adventure leads most easily into the next one (which I haven't had a chance to read yet) but also carries with it the most potential. Your group could try and just kill the sylvan, try to betray him, turn down his offer and then agree to it later, betray him again when the Witcher shows up, flub negotiations, get into a drunken brawl, and uncover a slimy price gouging blacksmith's plans.

It's really, really good and thought out and R. Talsorian has made an adventure book that I like to just sit down and read, not just run. Of course, I really want to fucking run it. The fact that there's little character portraits of NPCs for each adventure and they're almost all statted up with adjustments takes out so much work and makes them so much more unique themselves. Running it on roll20 or otherwise digitally and having the PDF of A Book of Tales meant you have all the art and assets you need. Even though the Witcher TRPG has some really basic maps (nowhere near the powerful art that Cyberpunk RED has) they're still so servicable and they feel realistic and handdrawn and whenever I've needed one? I have one.

So far, so good. They're killing it, and I can't wait to get some time to read the others.

#witcher trpg #witcher ttrpg #witcher a book of tales #quarianrambles #juno's tabletop adventure log

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interestarticles · 3 years

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Best Movies Of The Year 1980 - Top 20 Films Of 1980

What Are The Best Movies Of The Year 1980?

From New York to Los Angeles this is a question that will get a different answer from every person you ask. There were some great films in the 1980s, and 1980 started the decade off with a bang as a year full of innovation in every way throughout all of society, and it was the start of some exciting new techniques, technologies, and ideas in the film industry in particular with many movies from the year 1980 introducing revolutionary and pioneering cinematic visions. Many people think that some of the best 80s movies of the decade came out in 1980. In this article post, we will go through our top picks for the 20 best movies of 1980, you might be surprised to find out which movies made it on the list! 1) Kramer vs. Kramer In 1980, "Kramer vs. Kramer" was released and became a huge success at the box office. The movie starred Meryl Streep as Joanna Kramer, Dustin Hoffman as Ted Kramer, Jane Alexander as Marylin Jaffe-Jenson, and Justin Henry as Billy Kramer. This film won five Academy Awards in 1981 including Best Picture of 1979 or 1980. It also received nominations for best director (Robert Benton), best actor (Dustin Hoffman), and best-adapted screenplay based on another work (Erica Mann). It is now considered one of the most significant Hollywood films ever made about divorce because it provides nuance to both sides of an argument. 2) The Shining This iconic horror classic film directed by Stanley Kubrick and starring Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall was released in 1980. It is based on Stephen King's 1977 novel of the same name. The film has been ranked a number of times as one of the best horror movies ever made and is now considered to be one of Kubrick's best films. It was nominated for two Academy Awards (Best Actor in Leading Role--Jack Nicholson) and won none at the time. The Shining also received nominations for Best Director - Stanley Kubrick), Best Adapted Screenplay--Steven Spielberg/Stanley Kubrick). Its reputation grew over time, eventually earning an Oscar nomination for Best Picture. 3) Being There Hal Ashby himself had been nominated for an Academy Award in 1971 with directing The Last Detail. It is a film that could be classified as both comedy and drama, but the emphasis on this 1980 release lies more on its comedic aspects. While it was not one of the most acclaimed films when it came out, many now consider Being There to be a classic film about society's relationship with television at the time. It offers commentary on economic inequality and how people are often reduced to simple archetypes who can easily fit into neat narratives for consumption purposes. 4) Time Bandits Time Bandits, a 1980 British fantasy film about adventure, was co-written by Terry Gilliam. It stars Sean Connery and John Cleese as well as Shelley Duvall and Ralph Richardson. Katherine Helmond, Ian Holm. Peter Vaughan and David Warner are also featured. It is a whimsical kids' movie with the fantasy adventure of time travel that has been ranked as one of the best movies ever made by many critics. Gilliam has referred to time bandits as first in his "Trilogy of Imagination", which includes Brazil (1985), and then The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (88). They all revolve around the "craziness and incoherence of our society, and the desire for escape through every means. These films all focus on the struggles and attempts to escape through imagination. Brazil is seen through the eyes of a young man, Time Bandits through a child's eyes, and Munchausen through an old man's eyes. Time Bandits, in particular, was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Visual Effects. 5) Pennies from Heaven Quite a departure from his previous work, this film is much more lighthearted and comedic than the serious dramas of The Miracle Worker or Bonnie and Clyde. The plot revolves around Arthur Parker (Steve Martin), whose life becomes increasingly chaotic as he tries to juggle two jobs, an impending child custody battle for his daughter, and a demanding girlfriend who wants him to give up one job so that they can have some time together. 6) Airplane! This Leslie Nielsen instant comedy classic was one of the highest-grossing movies of 1980. The movie is about an airplane crew that must find a way to land their plane after food poisoning breaks out on board and the pilots become incapacitated, with only two inexperienced passengers who happen to be a doctor (Robert Hays) and a flight attendant (Julie Hagerty) qualified to land the plane. Airplane! was one of the most successful films at theaters in 1980 It had more than $83 million worth of ticket sales by year's end - it became one of Leslie Nielsen's most popular roles ever The film also helped launch Robert Hays' career as a leading man, though he later found greater success playing comedic supporting characters before retiring from acting. 7) The Empire Strikes Back One of the most famous of the 1980s movies, The Empire Strikes Back is remembered for its numerous plot twists and turns as well as introducing fan-favorite Yoda The film features Mark Hamill reprising his role as Luke Skywalker in this second installment of George Lucas' Star Wars series and it was the first star wars to be released on VHS. Featuring a mixture of live-action footage with high-quality animation from Japanese company Toho, it became one of the best critically acclaimed movies ever. In 1997, it won an American Film Institute award for being among the top 100 films since 1941. 8) Raging Bull 1980 was a strong year for movies, and Martin Scorsese's Raging Bull is one of the most acclaimed action films to be released that year. It stars Robert De Niro in an Academy Award-winning performance as new york boxer Jake La Motta, who has a turbulent affair with Kim Basinger's Vickie. The film depicts how new york boxing served as both his escape from domestic abuse but also led him on a self-destruction path. In addition to being nominated for ten Oscars (including best picture), it won two including best actor for Robert de Niro and best director awards respectively. Released by United Artists, the movie has ranked among the top 100 American Films ever made according to AFI rankings. This release is considered one of the best films of the 80s by many critics. 9) Kagemusha One of the most interesting and well-made movies that 1980 has to offer, Kagemusha tells the story of a warlord who is critically injured and after being buried alive. The movie was directed by Akira Kurosawa and stars Tatsuya Nakadai in one of his best performances ever as both warrior leader Katsuyori Shibata and an imposter named Shingen Yashida. Released in Japan on April 20th, 1980, it became the second-highest-grossing film at the Japanese box office just behind The Return of Godzilla (1984). Kagemusha made its international debut at Cannes Film Festival's Directors Fortnight where it won two major awards: Special Jury Prize for Best Direction and Grand Prix du Festival International du Film - Art. 10) The Gods Must Be Crazy Part comedy, part drama, The Gods Must Be Crazy is a timeless classic. Released in 1980, the film follows Xi (N!xau), an out-of-touch bushman who lives happily with his family until he encounters Coca Cola for the first time and it changes their world forever. The premise of this movie makes us laugh because we can relate to how much more comfortable life was before modern society became so intricate that things like Coke began infiltrating every aspect of our lives. We're drawn into Xi's story as he goes from living peacefully with his tribe to being thrust into a completely different reality when they start hunting down any remaining cases of coca-cola at stores all over town! It also touches on some deeper themes such as the cultural modern world where his customs and rituals mean nothing. Xi's journey is our own as we watch the culture clash of modern society, with all its good intentions and never-ending thirst for new things to consume, come into contact with a simpler time that has long since passed by. The humorous film release was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film but lost out to Italy’s Cinema Paradiso (1988). 11) Caddyshack Released in 1980 this classic comedy film by Harold Ramis is widely considered one of the funniest movies ever made by fans and critics alike. It features an amazing comedic all-star ensemble cast, including Chevy Chase as a rich playboy who turns caddie in order to get girls; Ted Knight as Judge Smails, who wants to keep his country club memberships exclusive and prestigious; Rodney Dangerfield as Ty Webb, a millionaire golfer-cum-caddy who has been banned from all other golf courses for being too good. Also featuring Bill Murray as Carl Spackler, the groundskeeper at Bushwood Country Club whose only goal seems to be killing off gophers with any weapon he can devise (including explosives); Michael O'Keefe as Danny Noonan, a young man hired by Judge Smails's daughter (Castle) to caddy for him; and Brian Doyle-Murray as Lou Loomis, the club's ultra-snobby head professional. 12) The Blues Brothers Another instant classic 1980 movie, The Blues Brothers are best known for its 1980 car chases. Starring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd as Joliet Jake & Elwood Blues respectively, the two brothers who perform a blues show before being arrested by police. They break out of jail with their friends to save an orphanage from foreclosure through satanic cult leader sheik Abdul Khadaffi's "Elvis-Is-King" rally in Chicago Illinois on Mothers Day 1980 at noon. The film has been praised by audiences and critics alike for its music, screenplay, and performances but criticized for its lack of character development (most likely due to budget constraints). This was even acknowledged during production when director John Landis told cast members not to act too much because "no one is going to see this movie." The 1980 car chases are iconic and highly regarded by film critics. One of the most memorable moments in 1980 was when Elwood Blues while driving his 1980 Chevy Malibu, spots a cat on the front fender as he's being chased by police officers from Illinois State Troopers who try to arrest him for not wearing seat belts (the law at that time). The chase ends with Jake & Elwood crashing into an old man sitting atop a 1980 Chevy Monte Carlo. After striking them, the cops then swerve quickly around their fallen comrade before continuing after our heroes. 13) 9 To 5 9 to 5 (listed in the opening credits as Nine to Five) is a 1980 American comedy film directed by Colin Higgins, who wrote the screenplay with Patricia Resnick. It stars Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Dolly Parton as three working women who live out their fantasies of getting even with and overthrowing the company's autocratic, "sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot" boss, played by Dabney Coleman. The film grossed over $103.9 million and is the 20th-highest-grossing comedy film. As a star vehicle for Parton—already established as a successful singer, musician, and songwriter—it launched her permanently into mainstream popular culture. A television series of the same name based on the film ran for five seasons, and a musical version of the film (also titled 9 to 5), with new songs written by Parton, opened on Broadway on April 30, 2009. 9 to 5 is number 74 on the American Film Institute's "100 Funniest Movies" and has an 83% approval rating on the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes. 14) Smokey And The Bandit 2 Smokey and the Bandit 2 Is a 1980 American action comedy film directed by Hal Needham, starring Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jerry Reed, Jackie Gleason, And Dom DeLuise. This film is a sequel to 1977's film Smokey and the Bandit. The original release of the film was in the United Kingdom, New Zealand, and Australia. Bo "Bandit", Darville (Burt Reynolds), and Cledus "Snowman," Snow (Jerry Reed) transport an elephant to the GOP National Convention. Sheriff Buford T. Justice, Jackie Gleason (Jackie Gleason), is once more in hot pursuit. 15) Superman 2 Superman II, a 1980 superhero movie directed by Richard Lester, is written by Mario Puzo, David, and Leslie Newman and is based on a story by Puzo about the DC Comics character Superman. It features Gene Hackman and Terence Stamp, Terence Stamp, Ned Beatty, and Sarah Douglas. The film was first released in Australia and Europe on December 4, 1980. It was also released in other countries during 1981. Megasound is a high-impact surround sound system that's similar to Sensurround and was used for select premiere Superman II engagements. The Salkinds decided in 1977 that they would simultaneously film Superman and its sequel. Principal photography began in March 1977 and ended in October 1978. There were tensions between Richard Donner, the original director, and the producers. It was decided to stop filming the sequel (of which 75 percent was already completed) and instead finish the first film. After the December 1978 release of Superman, Donner was fired from his post as director and was replaced by Lester. Many cast members and crew members declined to return following Donner's firing. Lester was officially acknowledged as the director. Principal photography resumed in September 1979 and ended in March 1980. Film critics gave the film positive reviews, praising the performances of Reeve, Stamp, and Hackman as well as the visual effects and humor. The film grossed $190million against a $54 million production budget. 16) Friday The 13th Friday the 13th, 1980 American slasher movie, is directed and produced by Sean S. Cunningham. Written by Victor Miller, it stars Betsy Palmer and Adrienne King. The plot centers on a group of teenager camp counselors, who are each murdered by an unknown killer as they attempt to reopen an abandoned summer camp. Cunningham, inspired by John Carpenter's Halloween (1978) success, put out an advertisement in Variety to sell the film. Miller was still writing the screenplay. Filming began in New York City after casting the film. It was shot in New Jersey during summer 1979 on an estimated budget of $550,000. The finished film was the subject of a bidding war. Paramount Pictures won domestic distribution rights while Warner Bros. Pictures took European rights. Friday the 13th, which was released on May 9, 1980, was a huge box office hit, earning $59.8 million globally. The film received mixed reviews, some praised its cinematography, score, and performances while others criticized it for depicting graphic violence. It was the first independent film of its type to be distributed in the U.S. by major studios. The film's box office success led it to many sequels, a crossover film with A Nightmare on Elm Street, and a reboot of the series in 2009. 17) Flash Gordon Flash Gordon is a 1980 space opera film directed and produced by Mike Hodges. It was based on Alex Raymond's King Features comic strip. The film stars Sam J. Jones and Melody Anderson as well as Max von Sydow, Max von Sydow, Max von Sydow, and Topol. Topol is supported by Timothy Dalton and Mariangela Melato. Peter Wyngarde plays the role of Peter Wyngarde. The film features Flash Gordon (Jones), a star quarterback, and his friends Dale Arden and Hans Zarkov (Topol), as they unify the warring factions on the planet Mongo to resist the oppression by Ming the Merciless (von Sydow), a man who wants to destroy Earth. Producer Dino De Laurentiis had been involved in two comic book adaptations: Danger: Diabolik and Barbarella (both 1968). He had also previously worked on Danger. De Laurentiis declined a George Lucas directorial offer, a Star Wars version directed by Federico Fellini was also rejected. De Laurentiis hired Nicolas Roeg as director and Enter the Dragon writer Michael Allin as the lead developer on the film. They were replaced in 1977 by Lorenzo Semple Jr. and Hodges, who had written De Laurentiis’ remake of King Kong, this was due to Roeg's dissatisfaction. Flash Gordon was mostly shot in England, with several soundstages at Elstree Studios and Shepperton Studios. It uses a camp style that is similar to the 1960s TV series Batman, which Semple created. Jones quit the film before principal photography was overdue to a dispute between De Laurentiis and Jones. Much of Jones's dialogue was dubbed by Peter Marinker. The documentary Life After Flash examines the main subjects of Jones' departure and his career after it was released. It is known for its Queen-inspired musical score, which features orchestral sections by Howard Blake. Flash Gordon was a box-office success in Italy and the United Kingdom, but it did poorly in other markets. The film received generally positive reviews upon its initial release and has since developed a large cult following. There have been many attempts at sequels or reboots, but none of them have ever made it to production. 18) Cheech & Chong's Next Movie Cheech and Chong's Next Movie, a 1980 comedy film by Tommy Chong, is the second feature-length Cheech & Chong project, after Up in Smoke. It was released by Universal Pictures. Cheech and Chong go on a mission: siphon gasoline to their neighbor's car. They then continue their day. Cheech works at a movie theater, while Chong looks for something to smoke (a roach). Then Chong revs up his indoor motorcycle and plays loud rock music that disrupts the neighborhood. Cheech is fired and the couple goes to Donna, Cheech's girlfriend, and welfare officer. Cheech seduces Donna over her objections and gets her in trouble with her boss. 19) Coal Miner's Daughter Coal Miner's Daughter, a 1980 American musical biographical film, was directed by Michael Apted and based on a screenplay by Tom Rickman. The film follows Loretta Lynn's rise to stardom as a country singer, starting in her teen years with a poor family. The film is based on Lynn's 1976 biography by George Vecsey. Read the full article

#BestFilmsOf1980 #BestMoviesOfTheYear1980 #BestMoviesOfTheYear1980-Top20FilmsOf1980 #movies1980 #Top20FilmsOf1980

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comparatist · 4 years

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Something I wrote about Manga.

Manga plays an important role in promoting tolerance for gender minorities.

Manga is a cultural phenomena in Japan and the rest of the world. It’s not exactly a genre but an art of storytelling comprising the interests of all age groups. The style is considered to have its origin in ukiyo-e-prints of Hokusai in 19 century. The tradition lies in the creation of humorous art. There are tales of men who love to cook and woman who love to eat, Sommeliers having their extraordinary penchant for wine and the list goes on. Though the manga tradition has been categorised into four distinctive groups based on gender stereotypes, like ‘shonen’ being targeted for the young male audience and ‘shojo’ being set to arrest the attention of young female audience, while ‘sinen’ and ‘josel’ getting marketed for the older male and the female consumers respectively, significant crossover in the readership has been thoroughly noticed on the grounds of demanding good books over gendered stereotyped ones. Manga, as a mass medium of serialised characters has played a socially critical as well as an escapist role since the 1970s. However during the 20s and 30s, manga was explicitly a matter of juvenile interest, but then, after the economic boom in the post-World War 2 era, it expanded its market for all ages and social sections while exploring vast amount of subject matter. They however, primarily, focussed on sports, large eyed adolescents, the adventures of samurai and gangsters, and tales that indulge into the deep layers of sex and violence, often evoking pornographic fantasies.

Yaoi, also known as boys love or BL is a genre in manga and other such media platforms such as anime, drama CDs etc. exploring the features of homoerotic relationships between male characters. The general has been created by woman authors for female audience but the section attracts male readers too. It is basically defined by its characteristic feature of paring the male characters in the role of protagonists. The sexual top is known as ‘seme’ who becomes the active pursuer while the passive pursuant one is known as ‘uke’ or the sexual bottom. The term yaoi dates back to the doujinshi culture of the late 1970s to the early 1980s. It was then as self-deprecating way of referring to an amateur fan art parodying the mainstream manga and anime depicting their male characters in vague or explicitly sexual circumstances. Such writing or art resembles two Helens Cixous' idea of the “I’ecriture feminine” or the feminine fiction where writing is a way of pleasure for women to celebrate their desires by creating narratives around effeminate bodies thereby suggesting for a safe distance for the women’s desires and physical selves while defamiliarising the female body by making it somewhat male, reducing the vulnerability of woman, often implicated in an overtly sexual text and showing a way to expand her boundaries that she would not have done in real life, but through erotic discourse, anchored to the male body of the passive uke.

Shoujo manga stories also play an important part in the featuring of romances between young boys or young men from the mid 1970s.

In many Yaoi mangas, the performative male bodies, being the key to the unfolding of the narratives, especially during sexual acts, do succumb to heterosexual roles. In sexually violent manga of the yaoi genre, the male body of uke performs the role of the body to be violated which may even include male pregnancy(mpreg), pheromones going out of control etc. Therefore the romanticised, beautiful male body(bishounen) is made to play various roles ranging from pornography and wish fulfilment to a aesthetic beauty and different ideas of ‘tough love,’ as often the victim is portrayed to be falling in love with the assailant and forgiving his trespassing. These tales cater exclusively to the female psychosexuality, as they are produced by and for women and as there is no involvement of the female body in the stories, enter amount of pleasure that is derived from these texts is through mental correlation.

‘Boku Patalliro!’ is a Japanese manga series which explores the themes of yaoi, was written and illustrated by Mineo Maya. The plot focusses on comedy, primarily the weird adventures of Patalliro himself. Generally episodic in nature, the subplots often have little connection to the main one, other than involving the same identities.

Patalliro du Malyner VIII is the 10 year old diabetic child King of Malynera who grooms himself as a cat when he finds himself in frustrating circumstances and mimics the run of a cockroach when there is the need to speed up. In 1982-‘83, when homosexuality was still considered a taboo, Patalliro daringly flaunted it for laughs. Bancoran is an MI6 agent appointed by the British to be Patalliro’s personal bodyguard, is an efficient killer. The character identifies himself as an effeminate homosexual person. There are instances of Patalliro making fun of Bancoran's sexual nature which the latter is forced to accept owing to the royal advantage that the former enjoys. Bancoran is constantly frustrated because the enemy-agent assassins that he fights off to maintain Patalliro’s safety are the ones he fantasizes about. Patalliro himself seems to have interesting Bancoran and often tries to seduce him through various disguises or role-playing likes of which are that of a pretty boy or a beautiful woman.

Presence of beautiful, effeminate bishounens are abundant in the shounen-ai mangas, as well as socially accepted good looking Tamanegis (King’s group of elite guards) as bi-seinens in disguise. Patalliro’s narrative is parodic and pokes fun at itself through parodying the shounen-ai culture in many ways. Mild boy-on-boy actions, lighthearted atmosphere and good vibes are the salient features of the shounen-ai manga even if there are mentions of violence, it's not extreme. Another yaoi trope is the mannerisms and the gaits of the characters being very dignified to match with their physical beauty.

The semes are amazing lovers and are able to deal with their counterpart’s tantrums. Bancoran's relationship with Maraich, who once tried to assassinate him and almost regularly beats him up, is that of a regular heterosexual couple and he takes care of Maraich like a ‘husband should'. Maraich, a firm believer of monogamous relationship based on mutual loyalty gets pregnant despite being a man which, kind of makes their picture of domestic bliss complete.

However, when the subject of tolerance towards gender minority shown through manga is being discussed, the readers and critical thinkers should keep in mind that the concept of consent is often overlooked in a text emphasising on overtly sexual portions. The seme-uke relationships are often devoid of permission and the way they get portrayed through the mangas, is nothing but a normalisation of manipulation and glorification of the violation of bodily autonomy,. Body shaming and extremely unconventional body features creating serious insecurity and unrealistic expectations among Japanese gay men isn’t something that should be considered tolerant in any sense. Gay men often feel uncomfortable at their representation in such texts where bodies and sexuality are produced and consumed as tools of entertainment for women. However, the question of sexual exploration vs one sided homosexual ‘love’ being imposed upon the other is not raised as there has already been the normalisation of the disturbing trend in Japanese pornography, both gay and straight, of the sexual recipient not acting according to his/her will as words like ‘iya’ meaning ‘no’, ‘yamete' meaning ‘stop', ‘itai’ meaning ‘it hurts' get frequently used. Surely, manga covering the yaoi genre has great representation of the gay sexual love and relationships but the absence of consent in most cases doesn’t really make it tolerant for the gender minorities. Mere representations are not enough and the concept of free will in a healthy relationship should be a much discussed topic in the manga tales. It’s high time we realise that an act upon it.

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no-error · 4 years

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Fantasy Klance Ficrec

Finally new list for fic recs. Hope ya all enjoy these awesome fics. :)

Remember check out tags!

Of Wolves and Wisps

Lance knows not to seek with his mind in the woods. The fae have a habit of twisting the desires sought by those who chase after the wisps. But when given no other choice, Lance makes the decision to alter his path. To change his fate.

He should have known, really, how things would turn out.

Never call out to wolves. One may just answer.

Words: 145,585 AO3

The Criminal Witch and His Knight of a Husband

Series

Under the rule of an unjust king, witches not employed by the crown had become illegal in the kingdom of Altea. Not wanting to work for a filthy murderer of a man, Lance spitefully refused to get his certification at the normal age of sixteen. But that was over half a decade ago. Altea is now ruled by the beautiful and reasonable Queen Allura, and Lance finds himself happily married to her head knight, despite his fugitive status.

Lance struggles with helping hot headed, prone to danger Keith stay alive, while simultaneously keeping his ability to cast spells a secret. He can't have him figuring anything out. After all, the last thing he wants is for his own husband to arrest him.

Words: 80,309 AO3

Star Cursed

A Dragon familiar is the last thing Lance expects to summon when he graduates lowest in the class at the Magerium. All he wants to do is summon a toad or a cat and get to work, but summoning a High Magic creature like a Dragon is something no one has done in hundreds of years. The Dragon, named Keith (why, WHY is he named Keith), is trained to be a familiar for the most powerful of mages.

Unluckily for him, Lance is assigned the task of lesser potions master. Lance has to navigate a precarious balance of grumpy-Dragon-with-nothing-to-do on top of his workload of boring tasks. That’s when he isn’t enduring the ridicule of the other students, who believe him to be “Star Cursed.” To make matters worse, discontent in the Magerium is brewing and it might mean danger for all High Magic creatures, which currently includes one Dragon named Keith

Words: 152,239 AO3

fit the crown to my head

“What’s the fun in a masquerade if you don’t flirt outrageously with the prettiest person in the room?” the young man says flippantly, and then winks at Keith. Keith huffs a laugh, amused.

“You keep saying things like that, but you haven’t seen my face,” he says, gesturing to his mask. “I could have warts under here. I could have spots, or scars.”

“You’d be lovely even with all of those,” the young man says, and he suddenly sounds serious. It takes Keith by surprise, makes his heart twist along with his stomach. “Your eyes,” he continues, tilting his head. “I’ve never seen eyes like yours before.”

Words: 75,705 AO3

Magic Bound & Unbound

Set in a world where familiars and witches are paired to perform magic together, Lance is an aspiring witch who is desperate to find his bondmate. He's dreamed of the day when he would be able to perform bonded magic, but hides a dark secret that could ruin everything. Keith is a familiar who's seen a little too much of the world. He's been paired with witches multiple times and each one has forced and broken a bond on him, so now he swears off ever letting himself be paired again.

When they meet, though, Lance triggers something in Keith and it scares the hell out of him. A part of him desperately wants to be paired, but he's not sure he can take rejection one more time.

Words: 56,345 AO3

Regarding Park Benches and Demon Bites

Lance forces his eyes open, all the way this time. It takes them a second to adjust, and when they do, his stomach plummets to the center of the earth. The man is in a black shirt, the sleeves rolled up on his forearms to reveal the runes inked across his pale skin. There’s a sword strapped across his back, a big one.

“You’re a Shadowhunter,” Lance blurts. Lance’s mother had warned him about getting mixed up with these bloodthirsty maniacs, and here he is, half conscious next to the very people he’d worked so hard to avoid the last two years. He’s fucked. Royally screwed. He isn’t sure what kind of punishment is handed out to warlocks for public intoxication but his mind races through options like indefinite imprisonment, dismemberment, death?

Words: 8,999 AO3

you build your tower (but call me home)

In the land of Arus, the youngest Nalquodian prince—Prince Leandro—is hidden away in a little castle that overlooks the kingdom; a countermeasure to protect him from the Galran assassins that have sworn to take his life.

And in the tallest tower of the castle, behind a grimy rose window and under a dusty sheet, is an enchanting gargoyle that the prince finds himself compelled to visit every day.

Almost as if by a spell...

Words: 63,041 AO3

Wild Magic

The Vastaya are an ancient and proud race, born of magic and man, and they are dying. The spread of humans makes the magic of their homelands run thin. What is left is preyed upon and corrupted by the rising galra influence.

After losing their home, what remains of the Marmora tribe scatters, fighting the spread of corruption where they can. For the last few centuries, this is the only life Keith has known. And with Shiro’s disappearance, he’s more alone than ever. But he keeps going, even if it means losing himself. For the fight. For his people. For their future. For his homelands. For magic.

The last thing he expected to find is another feathered vastaya, one with wings that shine like the sky and move like waves when he dances. He never asked for company, never wanted it. But as Keith finds himself growing fond of Lance’s flippant attitude and determined blue eyes, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t want to fight alone anymore.

Words: 151,776 AO3

A Touch of Magic

"Keith—" He feels his heart lurch as Keith squats down next to him. One hand on his wolf's head, scratching behind his ear. His eyes, however, remain fixed on Lance, and he had really hoped that the whole dry-mouth-lump-in-the-throat-heart-skipping-a-beat thing would've stopped happening when he turned, but here he is. Vampiric and still the flustered mess he was when he was human. "Buddy, I can't breathe—"

"You don't have to breathe," He says, that ghost of a smile still fixed and the whisper of amusement in his voice.

It sends chills down his spine.

Lance huffs as much as he can when there's a large wolf crushing his chest. "That doesn't mean it's not uncomfortable."

"You'll survive." He pats his wolf one last time before pushing to his feet. "Better luck next time, Lance."

"I'll get you one day, Keithy boy." He calls out as Keith walks away, disappearing from his vision and continuing down the path. "Just you wait."

Words: 19,953 AO3

For Fox Sake

Foxtail series

Photography has always been an passion of Keith's. Being able to capture that perfect moment - grant it immortality and unleash it to the world so that the people may decide what stories they tell - is what he lives for.

So when given the opportunity to expand his horizons, Keith finds himself on a month long excursion in the middle of nowhere, with only his camera and his own thoughts to keep him company.

And this forest - this mountainous landscape seemingly untouched by human hands - holds more than just a vast array of scenic landscapes and wondrous wildlife worthy of being captured in film.

It holds a secret. One Keith hadn't anticipated discovering, much less believing. And though they say "take only pictures, leave only footprints", Keith worries that when he finally has to return to his mundane world, he'll be leaving more than just tracks on the ground.

But his heart has always belonged to the woods, and he knows the fox will guard it well.

Words: 80,888 AO3

Ghost on the Shore

After moving into an desolated house in a swamp, Keith finds that the area's not as abandoned as he anticipated. He soon meets Lance, a mysterious boy that apparently lives out in the marsh, and who seems to possess magical powers to a certain degree.

Words: 37,055 AO3

It Never Rains on Saturday

Rain or Shine Series

In the magical kingdom of Altea lies an ominous tower filled with monsters. Every day, adventurers battle through the tower’s levels in a never-ending quest to slay the Demon King who lives at the very top.

Lance, a talented archer, is one such adventurer. However, Lance doesn’t want to kill the Demon King.

Lance wants to marry him.

Words: 22,726 AO3

Nameless

Lance McClain was not pale. He enjoyed the sun as much as any other, and though he was often run down or fatigued, this was due to his steadily amounting college work, not his need to sleep upside down. He was everything a vampire wasn't. Oh, except for his constant cravings for blood, and the name in cursive permanently scrawled over his wrist.

Since the name had appeared on Lance's thirteenth birthday, he'd been desperately waiting for the day he'd finally meet his soulmate. And it finally comes, the first day of his second year of college, delivering a boy that causes everything Lance had fantasized to come crashing down around him. Not only is his mate a human, but he's the kind of human that despises vampires. A hunter named Keith.

But matters of the heart aren't the only thing standing in Lance's way, for a much greater enemy is on the horizon, posing a threat not only to Lance and his family, but to Keith, too. The nameless are coming for them, and soon.

Words: 102,409 AO3

Were-woof

Living off the grid is one thing. Keith had been doing it his whole life. However, now that the mountain he has lived on his whole live is slowly being developed thanks to a ski resort it's getting harder and harder for Keith to keep to himself. Especially when he happens to catch the eye of a rather cute looking townie.

Words: 133,954 AO3

An Eternal Flame

“Do you have a deathwish?” The phoenix answers him with a question this time, apparently intent on dodging the question about its name. Maybe it’s for the best, Lance’s mama always warned him that he tended to get attached to things once he’d named them. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath.

He isn’t going to get attached this time.

Making sure that he’s still holding the phoenix’s attention, he reaches down and pushes his cloak aside, then lifts his shirt. There, bright red and ugly against his hip, are three long slashes. They aren’t scars, they aren’t healed in the slightest, they’re still red and open wounds. They don’t hurt, not in the physical sense, but Lance can’t help the repulsion he feels whenever he looks at them.

“Not a deathwish, a death sentence.”

Words: 63,692 AO3

#klance #lance vld #keith vld #laith #fanfic #fanfic rec #my list

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

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Cerebus #11 (1979)

The only weapon you need to provoke a police officer to violence is scorn.

Sorry! The above caption had nothing to do with The Cockroach's first appearance in Cerebus and everything to do with how the Omaha Police arrested peaceful protesters by claiming that they're purpose was to "attack and/or provoke police officers to violence." Also, you can tell they're already spinning and lying by adding the "and/or" so they can imply that the protesters are planning on attacking police. And, well, even if they weren't (and they did say "or"!), their other main plan was to provoke them. But of course everybody whose ability to perceive reality isn't clouded by their incessant need to defend police no matter what understands that police will abuse their power at the drop of an eye roll. They believe any slight disrespect is an excuse for a violent rebuttal. They force physical violence on people whom they have no reason to arrest simply so the person can struggle against the assault, as any normal person would do, and then claim resisting. Police should be confronted by scorn and disrespect at every turn. Only when they learn not to instantly resort to violence and threats will they deserve to not be. Welcome to my comic book and/or police review blog! Deni's "A Note from the Publisher" continues on a theme that I hadn't noticed until just now: every new issue of Cerebus now seems to be a landmark issue! It's an interesting self-promotion take that I have to admit I'd never thought of trying. "Every new Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea review is a landmark review!" You know what else is a landmark? Places & Predators, my Cribbage-based Roller Playing Game! You don't even really need any friends to play it. Just read it like a book and enjoy it! Or play it like a Fighting Fantasy Adventure Book! Use some online Cribbage app! Figure out how to use the crib in ways the online app definitely won't let you! Oh, the reason this is a landmark issue is because more letters came in than normal! It's a hit! Deni also reveals that she'll be making the Cerebus plush toys that were advertised in previous issues and at half the price! So kudos for stealing that job from the person who originally made them! It probably wasn't anything so dramatic but what fun is going through your life defaulting to the best, most optimistic possibility in every given situation? Have some fun! Act paranoid! Purposefully misunderstand your father and scream in his face! Kick a dog! Sorry! I got carried away! I would never kick a dog unless it was attacking me. But even then, I'd be wishing I was kicking the owner who let it go off leash. The dog doesn't deserve my epic self defense tactics in its soft face. But the owner certainly does!

The basics on the origin of The Cockroach.

I didn't realize Dave came up with The Cockroach because it was gross and disgusting. I just thought it was a more clever version of a bat, keeping to the shadows, hiding, surviving, a constant annoyance to poor people. In any case, The Cockroach is the greatest parody of The Batman, hands down. Because The Batman has become such a parody of himself time and time again, you just need an absolutely Batshit insane version of him. I don't do segues so Cerebus has come to Beduin to sell the Black Blossom Lotus. Just look at all the continuity Dave Sim is giving his readers! I wonder how many comic book fans would list "continuity" as their number one favorite thing about comic books? Like, are there people who would list that above great writing or terrific art? Judging by how terrible a lot of mainstream comic books are and how rabid many of the fans, I'd suspect it was a fairly high number. Maybe 65 out of 100, Bob. Change that card! The Merchant Cerebus deals with is a kook who might just have a super secret identity. It's weird to think of the Roach as being capable of actually living an independent life! I suppose he's just barely hanging onto his sanity at this point (and, of course, only during the day). But then he comes into the mystical aura of strangeness that aardvarks apparently exude out of their buttholes and he just loses it completely. He becomes less a merchant slash superhero and more a superhero slash zombie cosplayer. Also he becomes one of the greatest characters ever created! There are like four of them in the entirety of Cerebus! The exclamation point is because I think that's an incredibly high number and not because I think it's an incredibly low number. Most comic book's protagonists never quite make it to the greatest ever! Plus I'd probably give Cerebus more than four but a lot of them are just really good parodies, satires, and slightly-off representations of characters and people who already existed. The merchant buys the Black Blossom Lotus from Cerebus for 100 gold pieces and then promptly drops it out of the window and into the Feld River.

Not only does Dave Sim come up with a bunch of memorable plots across three hundred issues, he also comes up with a lot of good Dungeons & Dragons campaign ideas.

The Merchant pays Cerebus a sack of gold and gets ready for bed as Cerebus begins to leave. Before Cerebus can even exit the hallway outside the merchant's bedroom door, Cerebus begins to hear loud ranting coming from the other side. It's a lot of hissing and threats of murder. Against his better judgment, Cerebus decides to see what's happening and gets his first look at the guy who will be a huge headache to him for the next two hundred issues or so.

One thing I like about Dave Sim is how honest he is when recounting where he came up with or stole his ideas. He gives plenty of credit for the Cockroach and his hissing to Marshall Rogers and Jules Feiffer. It's admirable because a lot of people would just figure, "It might make me look less of an artist and who's going to know anyway?!"

Just a few days ago, my old elementary school friend who was blown up in Iraq and then became a comedian playing to Christians and patriots (which I mention so you'll understand how, as a wounded veteran, he'll never be criticized by his audience and he'll never really grow as a comedian) posted a Tik Tok on Facebook that was just a film of a television set capturing the "Masked Debate" bit on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. The clip only shows all the clips of news readers saying "masked debate" and none of Oliver's or the show's set-up. He then watermarked it with his Tik Tok name. Now all of those naive followers who can only seem to reply to his posts with the laugh/cry emoji probably think he wrote it. Better yet, they're probably mostly Trump followers who would never admit to finding that libjerk Oliver or his show funny. What's even better is that the Tik Tok has some quote along top that's watermarked with somebody else's Tik Tok name! So it looks like Bob doubly stole the bit. Man, I wish I'd joined the army and gotten blown up and then found Christ and developed an audience of uncritical naive yahoos who would wildly applaud everything I wrote! Why didn't I join the army?! Oh, that's right. Because I believed I had a future right out of high school. Well, I guess Bob is having the last laugh now! Cerebus follows Cockroach across the rooftops to find out what's going on. He eventually witnesses the Cockroach confront a man in an alley, accuse him of killing his parents, knock him out, and steal his gold. The gold part of the night helps Cerebus to ignore all of the other confusing stuff. The Cockroach doesn't gloat for long. He's off to find another victim! Cerebus witnesses him mug another guy whom he also accuses of killing his parents. He also admits to doing this for thirty years. So now Cerebus thinks the guy is crazy but also crazy rich. At the end of the night, the Cockroach returns home and drops the gold purses into a secret panel in the wall. He falls asleep, wakes up, and, when he sees Cerebus, acts as if Cerebus were just leaving. So Cerebus realizes that the merchant doesn't have any idea what the Cockroach is doing. Which means Cerebus is going to recover those gold purses before the Cockroach comes back! At the moment, Cerebus doesn't realize that he's going to be finding thirty years worth of gold purses in the merchant's walls. Can you imagine how boring the last two hundred and eighty-nine issues of Cerebus would have been if Cerebus managed to steal all of the Roach's gold?! I'm sure some of you are thinking, "It wouldn't have been any worse than the last hundred issues we did get!" Also, can you imagine how fat Cerebus would have gotten drinking tons of ale and eating loads of rich foods? I'm laughing so much just trying to picture it! Ha ha!

Eight feet of gold would make Cerebus fatter than a domesticated raccoon!

In the end, Cerebus only makes it away with three sacks of gold. But in the process, he manages to completely screw up the Roach/Merchant equilibrium that's lasted for thirty years. In trying to exploit the man's mental illness so that he'd help Cerebus move the gold, Cerebus drags the Roach personality into the daylight. From here on out, the Roach will simply be a pawn of others, susceptible to almost any second-rate demagogue (although most of the people who subsequently control the Roach are of the first rate variety). The Aardvark Comment section was two pages this issue and had this letter that I don't think was being sarcastic?

I guess I also wouldn't necessarily consider a chainmail bikini as "a disgusting costume." He's probably thinking about Power Girl.

Also, and I admit it might have been a joke, but Dave Sim reveals that Ronald Reagan is Cerebus' father. That, um, makes sense! Cerebus #11 Rating: A. I almost gave it a B+ for variety but then I remembered I just read the first appearance of the Roach. I also forgot that my ratings don't actually mean anything.

#Cerebus #Dave Sim

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shleezaemour · 5 years

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The Shadow hunter Major Arcana

I noticed that the shadow hunter tarot did not come with a booklet. Shame, guess I’ll write one. Here is my interpretation of the major arcana of the Shadow hunter Tarot deck. I will be doing the other cards too, but that will take time. I have this section finished so here you go, enjoy!

**The fool!**

Henry Branwell ( The scientist)

Even in the picture Henry is surrounded by his cogs and gears. Always the butt of the joke, but perfectly fine with it. Henry understands that people laugh at him but he knows what he’s doing is for the greater good no matter how many times he fails. The man behind the woman, the levity in the relationship. Brings light and humor to the starkness of Charlottes personality. While he rules in logic, he can see beyond it to create what’s only ever been dreams.

**2nd Fool card!**

Tavvy and Drusilla (The dreamer & the innocent)

Drusilla dreams of glory as she is in the middle of things. She’s too young to go on adventures, and to old to really be a child. While the older kids ignore her for the most part, they don’t understand that keeping her in the dark isn’t going to keep her innocent forever. As Julian said she is the heart of the family, none of them could function without her. While she lives in fantasy with her horror movies and playing the part of secret con man, she just wants to be noticed. Tavvy being the youngest and the baby, is the perfect sign of innocence. Still wanting to be held, still needing someone to keep the nightmares away. Not quite wanting to grow up, because that would mean the nightmares were real. In the picture you see Dru carrying Tavvy, Tavvy has wings on the back of his shirt showing his innocent angelic presence. The scene is at night, showing that Dru is there for him anytime he needs.

Upright : Beginning of a journey, innocence, acting without thinking things through. Potential.

Reverse: Uncertainty, failure to seize the moment.

**The Magcian**

Magnus Bane (The warlock)

Being an immortal gives one a sense of wisdom. Magnus being around for centuries gives him a Scholarly air about him. His kindness and willingness to still trust shows that he understands that history does indeed repeat itself and trust is met with trust. Because he has been there before and bought that T-shirt, he tends to believe everything repeats itself. While it’s good to have the wisdom of seeing patterns, he forgets that occasionally things go a different direction than expected. This makes it hard for him to share his past, due to other people’s reactions to it. Which in turn makes life harder than it had to be. Magnus understands why looking back is important, and also the importance of looking to the future. Finding his true love in a man whom history in a way repeats itself. While he never loved Will Herondale he loved his coloring, now over a hundred years later he finds Alec who has all of Wills beauty being his descendant on his sisters side. Swearing to never involved himself with shadowhunters again, only to fall in love with the boy whose parents he hated and almost had him killed in their youth. Karma works in mysterious ways. In the picture you see on the side table, the book of the white, chairman meow, and Woosley Scott’s snuff box. A clear representation of past present and future.

Upright: Creativity, exploring ones abilities, crafters hands, emerging talent

Reverse: Putting ones gift to ill use, unable to learn, No imagination

**The High Priestess **

Cristina Rosales ( The Believer )

Cristina was raised to be the woman behind a great man, only to become the queen set on a pedestal by many suitors. Even after the pain and hurt caused by all the men in her life she still opens herself to love. This girl is so much woman she needs two men to satisfy her, both seelie and unseelie with a dash of shadowhunter. Strong and deadly with her feminine wiles. Though she may forgive, she never forgets. As was shown with Perfect Diego and Jaime, both forgiven, both betrayals never forgotten. Cristina will give you a second chance, but if you break it you don’t get another one. This Princess of Roses will not be taken for a fool, things will be on her terms or nothing. In the picture you see her infamous butterfly knife pointing right at the black heart. Dressed as she was on her way to fairy with her two loves. In white going against shadowhunter tradition, as is her love life.

Upright: Great Knowledge, wise beyond years, virtuous, a scholar

Reversed: Ignorance, false vision, holding back feelings

**The empress**

Emma Carstairs (The Warrior)

A woman that shows the bloodlust isn’t just a mans realm. Anything you can do she can do better, and in heels. While her search for revenge blinds her to the world around her, she knows how to be the stable rock of a relationship whether its romantic or platonic. The only one worthy of her weapon, never taking no for an answer. Blood and scars are part of her, it’s how she shows her strength and commitment. While her recklessness can get her into trouble, she will not stop until she is the best. As the leader she knows that a good ruler is because of her subjects, and that her partner is there to make her stronger. The love she has for Julian being the only thing that could break her. In strength she even tried to push him away, for his own well being. In the picture you see Emma on a throne of her own as golden as her hair. While many blade sit behind her, only one is worthy enough to be in her hand, Cortana. Her un-lady like stance in the chair shows the air of “Wanna fight about it?”

Upright: Strong female figure, fertility, Maternal

Reversed: Infidelity, home strife, infertility

**The Emperor **

Julian Blackthorn (The artist)

As the silent leader of the family , Julian knows how to make the hard calls without ever showing it was him making them. While his secrets and tricks keep him and his family safe, his constant control of everything around him can come undone in a instant and he knows it. Always the man with the plan. Julian’s ruthless heart can blind him into making poor choices, but his gentle mercy is a soothing balm that no one can turn down while in pain. Forced fatherhood hasn’t dampened him, it’s only made him stronger. Emma by his side showed his unwavering loyalty and how choosing a female Parabatai never made him a weaker man. Even his romantic love for Emma showed strength , the only thing that could make him lose all his self control. Never allowing anyone, even the law stand in his way of what he wanted. For a bad law is no law for the Blackthorn family. Julian in the picture is on a throne showing his position, with paint smeared and thrown carelessly. Showing that even those in power don’t always run the tidy ship. The belt buckle of the ram shows his stubbornness at his center.

Upright: Strong male figure, leadership, ambition, accomplishing something

Reversed: Weakness, indecision, incompetent

**The Hierophant**

Brother Zachariah (The Silent Brother)

A magical man of the cloth. Brother Zachariah traded death for life and knows sacrifice in an intimate way. Never truly changing completely on either side, his love for his parabatai and former fiancée never waver. Both his love and his form are arrested through time. Though the feelings are dulled by magic, they never truly fade. All the while learning the trades and traditions of the Silent brothers, giving him abilities and an outlook that others can’t see or comprehend. The wise one in the room. As a former addict himself he can never give up that which brings him joy, whether it’s Tessa, Will, or his violin. In the picture you see him sitting with his fingers entwines together, the mortal sword leaning against him and a skull to his right side. The skull representing his long dead parabatai Will Herondale, and the sword that makes Shadowhunter’s Tell the truth and delivering justice. Yet it’s leaning.. not directly in his palms. While Brother Zachariah believes the truth is always better, that doesn’t exactly apply to himself.

Upright: Divine, mercy, conformity, Controlling spiritual needs

Reversed: Unorthodox, poor advice, Impotence

**The lovers **

Magnus & Alec /Jace & Clary (Love)

So many types of love between these four. A twisted web of love in its purest form. Two Parabati with their partners. While Alec isn’t Magnus’s first love, he is his first shadow hunter love. The first person where marriage was an option, the only one to convince him to have children and build a real life with an actual family. Alec like most shadow hunters found his love and is sticking to it. Head over heels for the bad boy his parents never wanted for him, yet he is absolutely perfect for him. Young and old fit together neatly in a relationship neither of them have ever experienced. Bring each others firsts in so many new and exciting ways. Angels and Demons coming together in a love deeper than the realms of hell themselves. Alec’s light and dark co-mingling with Magnus’s in a Yin and Yang that finds perfect balance. Clary and Jace were touched by angels, drawing them together regardless of circumstance. Their blood singing the siren song of forbidden love, even that couldn’t keep them apart. Obstacles at every step of the way, first the possible brother/sister issue, then the magical ensorcellment, then the heavenly fire roaring in Jace’s veins. No matter how large the problem, they get through it together. Always finding a way when no path is presented, they make their own. It wouldn’t be the first time a deep love mingled between a Herondale and a Fairchild. In the picture you see both of the couples embracing. Clary and Jace facing each other, holding the other up. While Magnus holds Alec from the back, having his back always, eyes closed in a comforting bliss.

Upright: Love, Passion, union, romance, harmony

Reversed: Conflict, separation, divided.

**The Chariot**

Mark Blackthorn (The Changeling )

Mark was never just one thing, he always had a foot in both worlds. One with the Shadowhunters, and one in Fairy. Longing for the stars and winds of the skies of fairy, homesick for the family that loved him all his life. A born protector to all he loves. Self discovery showed him how his love was not just a single trunk, but all the branches that came along with it, and with that the knowledge that he could have it all. Not wanting to choose, but to have everything he wanted was a struggle worth the burden. Allowing his differences be the reason that he shines. Eyes dual colored for both the worlds he belonged, two worlds, two loves, both within reach. Both worlds bringing him Bliss as well as torment. Shadowhunting meant he would never truly be excepted because of his fairy blood, his bisexuality also driving their acceptance further away. The runes call to his blood, the fight within him singing to rid the world of demons as his mandate. Marks family never wavering in their love for him no matter the circumstances. Fairy being equally as cruel for stealing his childhood, torturing him physically and mentally for his being a half blood. Finding love and wonder in his lover Kieran. The freedom of the hunt, the ability to feel what he wanted to feel without prejudice. Mark Blackthorn has the ability to change his direction to what suits him best, driving his life forward in the way of true happiness. In the picture you see him with two dogs of the hunt, by his side and fierce as he is with his bow and arrow. Fairy clothes and runes both adorning his body showing his dual life.

Upright: A Journey to new places, boldly venturing into the unknown

Reversed: Ruined plans, bad strategy

**Justice**

Jace Herondale (The Angel)

The golden Ichor that inflamed his veins as a child changed our hero. From his golden eyes to his unwavering abilities that go far beyond normal Shadowhunter standard. The law is hard, but it’s the law. While Jace finds loopholes and ways to have the law work in his favor, he never truly breaks it. A true believer in his mandate to rid the world of demons and their ilk. Even being disgusted by the very idea that he might have been tainted with demon blood was almost to much for him to bare. Wielding a blade to protect innocent and good, his wit and charm are the only equal to his deadly prowess. Jace knows their is more than one way to fight, more than one way to win a battle. The perfect soldier, born and bred to fight for the angel. Special talents only equal to his girlfriend, who also shares his angel blood. Pure love drives his motivations, for both Clary and his Parabatai Alec. Finding family in both of them, being a good brother and partner above all else. Even being raised in evil, his natural good nature shines through... even if it is tipped with sarcasm. In the picture you see him as an angel, as Clary drew him in her sketchbook. A lion to his side showing he is the king of the jungle, the alpha male with a golden mane to rule his pride and bring order around him.

Upright: Balance, Strong sense of self, Fairness

Reversed: Poor character, abuse, taking sides, biased.

**The Hermit**

Tiberius Blackthorn (The genius)

Even being born into the world with a twin, Ty has always had a sense of loneliness. Of feeling separate. Everything is to intense, too colorful, too loud, too much! Autism isn’t something known in the Shadow world, and because of that it’s looked at as set apart. Just because Ty is different, doesn’t mean he is condemned. Seeing the world through special eyes, seeing what others don’t. Drawn to routine, study, and Sherlock Holmes he finds a way to exist in this world of chaos with the help of his trusty headphones blaring Classical music. While he loves his twin more than the world itself, he still only found solace in Kit Rook. Someone who never saw him as anything but awe inspiring. An instant connection in a world of constant rejection. While Ty likes to be alone, he most wants to be alone with someone else in the room. No real interaction, just having them there so they can be alone together. In the picture you see the books stacked, the only one you can read is the codex, meaning the rules and tradition plays a large part in this reading. But it’s not the first book, while it’s in the mix many other tomes and knowledge comes before that. The moth in the corner shows transformation and signs of change. While not as exquisite as a butterfly, it has its own beauty that is unique all on its own.

Upright: Solitude, Exile, Out cast, seeming alone time, Secrecy, Hidden knowledge

Reverse: Social, At one with the community, seeking friends or love

**The Wheel Of Fortune**

Luke and Jocelyn (The Destined)

Lovers finally coming full circle. They have a tendency to get in their own way, assume things that are not true. Selflessness kept them apart for to long, finally coming full circle they find what’s always been there, love and eachother. Both seduced by the same man, both seeing him for what he was around the same time. Their minds were always on the same brain wave, and even long believed prejudice couldn’t keep them from the other. Luke would follow her anywhere, and Jocelyn could find him even if he didn’t want to be found. The circle brought them together, just for them to go full circle back to eachother. Forever destined, the angel and the wolf. In the picture you see Jocelyn above Luke, on the pedestal in which he placed her. The circle behind them both representing their start and end. The runes on their arms were the connection tunes between downworlder and shadowhunter. The runes on the circle are angelic power, strength, and voyance.

Upright: Fortune, chance, Fate, destiny

Reversed:Unfortunate events, unexpected results

**Strength**

Charlotte Branwell (The leader)

The first female consul, the pillar of strength in the London institute and enclave. Even being referred to as “the gray mare is the better horse in that race.” While her husband placed himself below her, he is not threatened by her. Henry loves that his wife is in charge and running everything around him, taking the pressure off of him so that he can follow his dreams. Charlotte would never cast out anyone who had no place to go, regardless of her opinion of them. While her build is small and birdlike, most people forget that about her because she demands the room. A personality and sense of authority that makes her appear six feet tall. In the picture she stand between two pillars. She is her own pillar of her community, standing between the other two that hold up her people. The law and protecting the world from evil. While she upholds both, she also stands between them understanding that there are gray areas in this world of black and white.

Upright: Strength, Endurance, power from within yourself.

Reverse: Weakness, defeat, surrender

**The hanged man**

Will Herondale (The cursed man)

Will thought himself to be cursed by the demon his father kept in his study. The demon killed his sister with a sting and then lied and tricked him, making him believe he couldn’t let anyone love him or they would die. This caused him to push everyone away, except Jem. Jem was the exception because he was already fated to die, so Will believed the curse wouldn’t touch him. This belief made him secretive, a liar, and secluded him from all around him. That was until Tessa came into his life and gave him purpose to try to rid himself of the curse that was never actually on him. Five years of self hatred did it’s damage, with Jem and Tessa being the only chance for redemption. Magnus, a Warlock, his only means to find out the truth, changing a young mind about the down world forever. In the picture you see Will upside down twisted in shadow, invisible bonds that keep him in place, but don’t actually exist or have actual power to keep him bound, only his own belief that they do is what keeps him trapped.

Upright: Opportunities missed, keeping ones self in indecision, letting time pass by

Reversed: Wasting time, lack of progress, feeling stalled

**Death**

Johnathan Morgenstern ( Death)

A boy who didn’t even have a chance before his own birth. Damned to be a soulless being before even feeling love and light. His own father created him this way, and he resented him from keeping any chance of redemption open for him. Evil was natural, and while Love was not lost on him it was tainted. An unnatural love for his own sister, a longing to keep what is his in his own mind. Feeling possession over people, forcing them to love and accept him. Deep down inside is the real boy, the good shadowhunter that never got to thrive. In a constant cycle of change and transformation. Conceived innocent, transformed with demon powders in gestation, shaped and molded in childhood, finally to die and see the spark of what could have been. Johnathan is all about changing one thing into another, moving forward, becoming better. In the picture you see him holding the infernal cup, the very thing that is change. The instrument that makes the endarkend. You see his sword on his hip with 4 stars lining the hilt, four being a magical number (example 4 seasons, four stages of life etc.) also he’s wearing his bracelet that reminds him of whom he is, keeps him grounded. Skeletal creatures surround him because eventual death surrounds him (or the death of plans). Red blood spatters the card, red being a scared color for supernatural, spiritual, or in shadowhunter culture to bring an enchantment down.

Upright: Change, metamorphosis, loss, end of ways.

Reversed: Bad situations, turbulent change.

**Temperance**

Jem Carstairs (The musician)

The addict, Wills own cracked mirror, Tessa’s second love. While Jem has his own problems, he tends to be the one people lean on. While he is this driving force in the back of his mind, he wants others to come first. Not really an optimist, but a realist. Instead of growing bitter over his parents deaths and his forced addiction, he chooses to see the bright side of it. Because of those things he found Will, he found Tessa. Two driving forces in his life that supersede the Yin Fen. Bringing balance to all their lives regardless of timeline. His love for Tessa and Will are equal in strength. Having the patience and dedication to love Will, even when Will pushes everyone away. Giving Tessa his energy and deep caring, his music and combining of both Bass and Treble as shown in the picture. Also in the picture is poppies, a death flower, which Jem is always on the brink of. While his violin is pictured close to his heart (Tessa) the bow that makes the sound ring out is by his side (Will). Neither of any real use without the other, and both useless without Jem.

Upright: Patience, Balance, Channeling ones energy, combining elements to make something new

Reversed: conflict, bad combinations, excess

**The Devil**

Valentine (The Zelot)

Valentine was not always the evil man he became, he was once the good son. Much like the devil he fell from grace after his father was killed by werewolves. Thus starting the natural obsession inside him to seek revenge for his father and beginning his hatred of Downworld. With the charisma of a cult leader he did just that by establishing “The circle” bringing the best and brightest by his side to get his obsessions fed. Get in his way, and he will make sure you fall with him. He is not without love or even loyalty, but like his son he sees those he created as possessions. Things that belonged to him. Jace was his perfect soldier, even mourning him after he knew he couldn’t keep him around and stabbed him. Clary, his daughter who can create runes because of his experimentation. Valentine did everything he could think of to bring her closer to him, even fooling her and Jace into thinking they were brother and sister. Jocelyn was his wife in his mind regardless of where she was or how long they had been apart, her hatred for him was temporary in his mind, she would come around eventually or so he thought. In the picture you see him holding the mortal cup, his key to his obsession. The chains surround him, even one choking him. One gold, one black, one silver. Mortals, Downworld, and shadowhunters. The Downworld being the one choking him, for Magnus stated that he and other warlocks were chained to this life by a chain of gold. His hatred for them was his downfall.

Upright: Oppression, material bondage, obsessive desires, evil fantasies.

Reversed: Unwavering pursuit, greed, mind control

**The Tower**

Isabelle & Alec Lightwood (The soldiers)

Here we have the two eldest of the lightwoods, strong as they face danger, both extremely and deeply damaged as siblings. Alec, afraid of his own sexual identity. Always feeling like the one left behind, never destined to shine. His father making his home life a cage, suffocating him with the mold of what a true nephilim should be. Izzy, a born warrior that’s terrified of commitment. Love is to make yourself weak in her eyes. Men are below her and would only step on her toes. Her mother damaged her by sharing adult problems with a child. Telling her of her fathers infidelity, making her lose faith in love and commitment. Both born into greatness only to fall because of personal issues. Yet if hey fall, they fall together. Always having the others back. In the picture you see Alec behind his sister, where every man in her life is placed. Alec sees it as having her back Incase of danger. Alec at the ready with a crossbow, Izzy while having her whip I hand does not have it out to strike as Alec does. Izzy is winking at the viewer, letting us know her place. The church in the background is being struck by lightning right at the cross, showing how both their faith was shaken.

Upright: Abrupt change, Accident or Loss, Ruin, traumatic event, upheaval.

Reverse: redundancy in life, unable to break patterns in life, sad events.

**The Star**

Tessa Gray (The masked)

Tessa was not aware of the circumstances of her birth, believing she was a mundane for the beginning of her life. Only to find out that she was the daughter of a Prince of Hell, a greater Eidolon Demon, and an unmarked shadow hunter. With the help of a spirit of an angel locked in her mothers necklace she was able to be born into this world as a new race entirely, not quite warlock, not quite shadowhunter. Her ability to shapeshift unlike any seen before her, the ability to connect with the persons soul through objects. All the while being able to flip through their memories unknowing to them. Always trying to break from control. Mortmain, her brother, the dark sisters, the clave, all trying to control her in some way. Escaping into novels to keep her inner demons at bay. Doing everything she can to seize control of her own life, even if it meant giving it up. She would be no ones puppet, she is her own and belongs to herself. Taking her new found gifts and trying her best to turn the darkness inside her around and use it for good. In the picture you see Tessa I’m a veil, masking her true face to navigate the world while still holding onto it and herself. Black and white stars around her, good and evil, truth and lies, and she remains in the middle with the veil staying gray. The clockwork angel the only thing unmasked about her.

Upright: Hope, a sign of good things, fulfillment in life’s pleasures.

Reversed: Doubting ones ability, stale creativity.

**The moon**

Maia Roberts & Jordan Kyle ( The lycanthropes)

A tempestuous relationship, not born to last. As the moon sets every night these two had their time only for it to be cut short. While death intimately took Kyle, Maia was close to ending things before that even happened except death beat her to it. While she loved Kyle, she knew like the phases of the moon they are ruled under that things had to change. Maia needed her own space to become a pack leader, and Jordan would have kept her as a Beta when she was a born Alpha. Jordan didn’t want to see it, all he could see was a wrong he did and the need to fix it. Him being the reason she was changed in the first place. Joining the Prater Lupus to become worthy of her love and regiment himself into someone better. Jordan wanted to help, wanted to mend, not seeing that you shouldn’t try to fix what’s not broken in the first place. Trying to convince himself that his relationship was working, that all his atonement was worth the struggle. You see them in the picture facing eachother on a bed. Maia looking at the viewer, while Jordan is fixed on Maia herself. The wolves above them showing their changing shapes, yet Maia’s is higher than Jordan’s and has the look of a leader. Jordan’s is panting and below her awaiting to follow.

Upright: brainwashing, dark influences, trickery, illusion, subconscious control

Reverse: avoiding reality, lies and despair, strange forces, delusional

**The sun**

Simon Lewis (The daylighter)

Simon, being the only person alive knowing what it’s like to live in the three different societies. First a mundane, then a daylighting vampire, then a shadowhunter. Simon has this way of fitting into each as if he were born to it, not without hard work. Clary’s best friend and Parabatai, Simon always finds a way to save the day. Whether it’s coffee and comics, or giving up your immortality in a demon realm to save everyone you love, Simon always makes things better. The only man to tame the reckless heart of Izzy Lightwood. The one who brought the Dregs and Elites at the academy together. The one to win Clary’s eternal love (platonically). Wherever Simon is, he belongs. The only one who doesn’t know that... is him. In the picture he is where he was always meant to be even though he was a vampire once, the sunlight.

Upright: successful social relationships, friendship, engagement, happy times and pure joy.

Reversed: separation, loneliness, unstable relationship

**Judgement**

Livia Blackthorn (The protector)

The other more femme half of the Blackthorn twins. Everything her twin lacks she’s has in spades, as is the reverse. Growing up knowing her brother was a slightly different kind of shadowhunter, Livvy always stood by his side and acted as his personal bodyguard. Willing to even slay her eldest brother to protect him. Livvy wants the best for everyone, she wants everyone to be happy. From wanting to set her brother Julian up, to giving up a possible romance due to her brother having more of a bond to said possible romance partner. She just wants everyone to get what they deserve, even if it’s death. Even her death. She didn’t want to be brought back, but she saw how much her brother needed her. So instead of punishing him away she stayed. She would make sure his dreams were fulfilled so that he could possibly live without her one day, something she should have done in life. In truth she knows that may never happen, while it’s a win for Ty... it’s a punishment for her. In the picture you see Livia in the dress she was buried in. Her trusty saber behind her back just Incase justice is to be served once more, or ty needs back up. Three blades are in the picture for what I interpret as past, present, and future.

Upright: accountability for ones actions, new beginnings, awakening

Reversed: guilty feelings, fearful of death, worry, delay, fear.

**The World**

Clary Fray (the creator)

Growing up thinking she was mundane, clary has grown and fought her way to shadow hunter hero. Clary went from drawing pictures, to creating runes not of the gray book to make her race stronger. Stubborn and small, strong and reckless. She wants to prove that she is more than she seems and always seems to find her way coming full circle. The center of the mortal instruments saga and of the world of her boyfriend Jace. Both with extra angel blood singing in their veins, drawn together by heaven itself. This pocket sized vixen is going to make her mark, or rune on the world. In the picture you see her with a falcon on one side and a lioness on the other. The falcon representing Jace, always by her side and equally as deadly. Sitting on the lioness as it represents herself. The woman in the pack that is more vicious than the man, the one who brings home the prey and takes it down.

Upright: completion of a cycle or journey, triumph, good outcome over adversity, hard fought victory.

Reverse: frustration, incomplete endeavors, failed projects.

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thesunlounge · 5 years

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Reviews 295: Masahiro Sugaya

Even though the work of Masahiro Sugaya is mostly unknown outside of Japan, it spans decades and is guided by artistic vision as multi-varied, far-reaching, and adventurous as any other practitioner of environmental sound design, taking in stage production, TV scores, modern classical guitar compositions, and longform sonic installations commissioned by the likes of GRM. And through a multi-volume reissue campaign, the first of which is titled Horizon, Empire of Signs seek to shine a light on Sugaya’s archives, with a special focus on his compositions subsidized within the 80s Japan bubble economy and made in connection with avant-garde theatre troupes. Two essays comprise the liner notes for the release, with one from Empire of Signs’ Specer Doran and Maxwell August Croy and another from Sugaya himself, each of which does its part to contextualize his work and trace his artistic development, from earlier influences such as Toru Takemitsu and Yuji Takahashi through to formative assistantships with Joji Yuasa and Teiizo Matsumura. As well, the writings discuss the influence of Art Vivant and it’s presence as a cultural hub, helping to further establish a narrative begun in Kankyō Ongaku of this independent yet interconnected group of artists…people such as Ashikawa, Sugaya, Yoshio Ojima, and Hiroshi Yoshimura…who were all exploring the possibilities of synthesis, computer composition, and sampling to realize visionary productions while also experimenting with the interactions of sound and environment.

Reading the liner notes, I get the sense that there were two key moments in the progression of Sugaya’s artistic vision: meeting generative composer and computer music master Yoshio Ojima via Ashikawa and Art Vivant and joining the ranks of Tokyo’s experimental theater group Pappa Tarahumura. Having finished his studies in composition, Sugaya was working on scores for musicals written by the actor Ako Nakamura, first using whatever instruments were available in tandem with a simple four-track cassette recorder. But his ambitions soon outstripped his monetary resources, and though despairing at his inability to, for example, score for and record an orchestra, a chance meeting and eventual friendship with Ojima provided the answer in the form of computer generation and the developing art of sampling. And after late-night flights on a loaned Fairlight and the eventual acquirement of an Ensoniq Mirage and a Yamaha Yis503 II computer, all barriers were torn down and Sugaya was finally able to realize the music of his dreams. As for Pappa Tarahumura, Sugaya was connected to the troupe’s leader Hiroshi Koike through working with Nakamura, and after seeing an early performance by the group called Monk, Sugaya was convinced he must become the in-house composer for the collective. Having achieved this goal, he then spent years working with the troupe, letting the performances inform the music and vice versa, all the while studying and mastering the technique of using sound as a foundation for physical space.

Masahiro Sugaya - Horizon, Vol. 1 (Empire of Signs, 2019) “Horizon (Intro)” constructs bubble formations from sampled woodwinds and sets them percolating through mechanized repetitions, with touches of birdsong entering as the notes climb high. Following this brief experiment, we flow into the virtual harp arpeggiations and lullaby melodics of “Future Green,” with everything swimming through layers of reversing abstraction. Crystallized tones and metallic pings pan across the stereo field, feedback hazes billow backwards, and pillowy bass pulses add touches of warmth while minimal drums crash through spectrum, all disjointed kicks smashing slowly and clacking tones decaying through gaseous reverb. Zipping tracers move backwards in time before popping into focus like some strange quantum particle while metallic breaths and clouds of ice swirl deep in the background. There are fractalized electronics and dripping future liquid presaging Doran’s work in Visible Cloaks and at some points, the plucked harp tones recede, leaving behind abstracted stretches of swelling sound, with gong strokes and temple bells reversing amidst a pointillist sci-fi landscape. Eventually the heavenly arps return along with the strangely spacious rhythms, which, in close focus, hardly seem like a rhythm at all…so spread apart and cavernous are the drum strokes that you lose sight of any groove. But zooming out, there is a meditative ritualism at pay…a sort of swaying slow motion dance alight with ambient romance, wherein everything loops and cycles accord to Sugaya’s singular dream logic. And throughout the track, cooing electro-whispers and music box melodics are broken down and reconstructed via computer automation, creating a supportive tapestry alight with feedback spirals, outer-dimensional sparkles, and reverberating tones of processed metal and manipulated stone.

In “Afternoon of the Appearing Fish,” pianos smear through the mix, their lush resonances and gaseous decay trails overlapping as a computer generates joyous ivory dances. There’s a touch of ambient dream jazz, with heavenly fantasias and breathtaking progressions that fully showcase Sugaya’s skills of programming and arrangement. It all seems so natural…like a bebop piano jazzman given a moment to find inner peace, with gentle chord riffs supporting smooth and soulful leads. At some point, rapidly bowed cellos flutter in the background, their pulses repeating at rhythmic intervals and thus helping along the narcotic piano chord groove. And the song is very well named, as one can imagine sitting by some deep blue pond amidst an infinite field of flowers, watching colorful fish move lazily in the water as sunlight reflects off of the rippling surface. Later in the track, knocking sounds move strangely through the background and slightly disturb the bucolic sway…at first not rising above a percussive whisper but progressively beating harder while being accompanied by subsonics that blow puffs of shadow through the mix. Dissonant melodies begin flying overhead…the sounds string-like and reed-like at once…but also alien and spilling into feedback shimmer. And the more layers that are added, the more drunken and delirious the groove feels. “Grain of Sand by the Sea” is of a pair with Sugaya’s “Umi No Sunatsubu,” which appeared on Kankyō Ongaku. It features a similar tapestry of pianos drifting almost at random, perhaps meant to evoke the titular grain of sand as it’s tossed by the motions of the sea. But here the vibe is much more frenetic, with the ivory layers evoking the rattle of crystals and the sounds of cavern liquids dripping…as if each bead is hitting some glowing rock that resonates into the emptiness.

Chimes stretch through space in “Straight Line Floating in the Sky,” with Sugaya progressively creating a world of ringing bells that seems submerged within a deep sea hallucination. Looping minimalist atmospheres are buried within watery oscillations and at certain moments, woodwind tones move in counterpoint. Starlight sequencing fades in from nothingness…like kosmische music given over to child-like innocence while simultaneously morphing and modulating through delirium layers. The sequential electronics move between fantasy dances and mechanized ascents towards the celestial sphere, with everything transmuting through delays that are constantly spilling into self-oscillation. Sometimes the mix reduces to just single strands of arpeggiated silver drifting alone while at other times, multitudinous patterns intertwining, bring touches of Terry Riley amidst the vibes of lullaby fantasy and interstellar wonderment. Vapor trails snap into and out of existence, xylophones bend through otherworldly motions, bubbling melodies swim through a dense seascape, and pianos splash through tide pools filled with starlight, with multiple melodic progressions refusing to interact and progressing unbothered in their own singular universes. After these preceding stretches of beautiful, yet often alien sonics, the acoustic guitars and vague Flamenco shades of “Wind Conversations” are arresting, all the more so knowing the sounds are computer programmed. It’s cinematic folk awash in seaside melancholia and accompanied by virtually sourced fretless bass, which slips and slides through hyperactive fusion movements. The vibe is both organic and machine-like, and I can imagine some futuristic dystopia (or paradise?) where this song represents an attempt by robots to score a Café del Mar sunset.

“Until the End of the World” features cyborg arps dancing and effected so strangely, with almost every sound completely unrecognizable…as if sizzling spaceage static and plucked tones of phasing rubber have been repurposed into a cyborg dream tapestry. New age piano explorations float in the depths and more of those sampled and programmed guitars work into the mix, perhaps forming the source of the dancing arps, revealing themselves only when the spectral fx layers recede. A heady pause leads to a delirious rush, with the mix now featuring bass notes holding down a sensual groove while guitars and plucked synths swim together through sunset motions…reminding me of the balearic classics of Penguin Cafe Orchestra as well as the film scores of Michael Cimino, with everything radiating a touch of Mediterranean magic. Dueling melodies ascend with an anthemic flare while being surrounded by twilight hazes and beneath it all, alien synth tropicalisms continue their drunken sequencing. There’s another moment where it all stops and a prayer bowl rings out to signify the beginning or ending of some unknown ritual, and as the arps return, things are further mutated and ever stranger, creating a mesmerizing backdrop through which Sugaya’s hyper-real guitar samples dance in some strange computer approximation of seaside fusion. “Horizon (Outro),” like the corresponding intro, sets the spirit afloat amidst looping woodwind bubbles, crystalline birdsong mutations, and elven computer minimalism, though there is more symphonic power and zany bombast here…as if the birds and flutes from the first track are now intoxicated, ecstatic, and barely holding to their patterns.

(images from my personal copy)

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salavante · 6 years

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For the character ask thingy, Ganzrig!

Someone’s popular!

Full Name: Ganzrig Khalgar

Gender and Sexuality: Female and to be honest, haven’t decided if she’s bi or a lesbian, she seems to heavily lean to women in any case.

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Steppe Orc or “Red Orc” as they call her in Godslaughter. They’re orcs based loosely on red river hogs, and can have more or thicker body hair, different colors of skin ranging from gold to dark reddish orange, depending on where they are from and how much human has been mixed in with them. Humans mix pretty freely with all the other races on Ismes, and most people probably have a human or two back in their family tree somewhere. I always thought it was really weird that most fantasy worlds are divided racially rather than nationally, so, all of the nations on Ismes (Ors, Umbra and Aurelia) are multiethnic, with Ors being the most varied, then Umbra, then Aurelia. Ors is a placeholder name and if I figure out something better, I’ll probably rename it.

Birthplace and Birthdate: I generally don’t keep track of birthdates for settings that would have different calendar systems, honestly. But Ganzrig was born on the world of Ismes in the northeastern part of the map, in the steppes of the nation of Ors, which is a collection of nomadic societies with a pretty wide roaming area. On the day she was born, her family hit an opal mine on their otherwise fallow property, making them wildly rich practically overnight. On Ismes, opal is a multicolored, iridescent ore that can be made malleable with heat and is very good at absorbing magic, making it ideal enchanting material. It is probably the rarest and most valuable material in the world. The Khalgars are set for several generations down, or when the ore is all mined out.

Guilty Pleasures: Ganzrig is a big old hedonist and has the usual set of wine, women and song type preferences, and when she dresses up does so very gaudily with lots of bright colors and opulent jewelry. Drinks and eats like an absolute monster. Unlike August, she fucks with technology even if she didn’t understand it (she went through a lot of cellphones because she’d get mad at it and throw it out a window or something). Likes makeup a lot! The red/white/grey markings on her face are all facepaint, and in the offseason, would probably have done some crazy stuff with eyeliner/eyeshadow/etc.

Phobias: This is kind of sad, but Ganzrig was genuinely afraid to die. She kind of lived through her life planning to be immortal until otherwise notified. At her death, she was shocked and terrified. While she wasn’t afraid of him, August also made Ganzrig very uncomfortable, because while they are in close proximity to one another, their passive abilities kind of cancel out and she didn’t like feeling like a normal, vulnerable person.

What They Would Be Famous For: On Ismes, Ganzrig is famous for being a sort of folk hero, as she just kind of roamed the countryside getting into fights (that she always won) and being an all-purpose adventurer. On the Hunt, her charisma, brutality and showmanship won her a lot of points, and she quickly became a fan favorite. Generally speaking, the public at large and the other more rough and tumble members of The Hunt preferred Ganzrig to August.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Everything tends to go well for Ganzrig, so she kind of ignores most laws and rules in general. So, pretty much anything. Starting fights, taking things that don’t belong to her, etc. It all works out in the end, as far as she’s concerned.

OC You Ship Them With: No one to be honest, haven’t really found a character she clicks with, and I’m content to leave it at that. Not all my characters need a romantic partner.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: In-game, Ganzrig was ultimately killed by a very potent soothsayer named Hawkmoth, who’s predictions allowed him to cancel out her divinely good luck. He stabbed her in the chest in the hometeam’s war balloon when Ganzrig and Iona infiltrated it to take back August (who had defected) by force.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Ganzrig probably has a perfectly adequate level of literacy (once the Khalgars were on the trade map and had money, they made sure all the kids learned how to read and write and speak at least one other language) but not one that makes her enjoy reading. In movies, Ganzrig probably likes anything particularly irreverent, humorous or trashy. She’ll laugh at very crass humor but would probably enjoy most comedies as long as they don’t get too high brow. One of my few characters that’d I’d say probably enjoys Romcoms just for the schadenfreude.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Definitely does not enjoy anything too serious or somber in tone. She likes to be entertained by her media.

Talents and/or Powers: Ganzrig carries a one-handed axe and an ornate miquelet lock rifle with an ivory handle. She can, however, improvise with pretty much anything, whether it’s a weapon, object or throwable person. However her most meaningful trait is Fortune’s Favor, the compliment to August’s passive ability Miasma of Misfortune, which gives her preternaturally good luck. Everything sorts itself out in her favor. If she’s hungry, she’ll find food. If she needs somewhere to stay or a way to travel, that will come to her in its own way too. Naturally, most of her hits land, and most things do not hit her. She abuses this power for spectacle quite often, in and out of combat.

Why Someone Might Love Them: She’s charismatic! Ganzrig absolutely oozes confidence, charm and attitude, and like-minded people find themselves very enthralled by her. Always an extrovert, Ganzrig is the life of any party, and is more than willing to entertain everyone around her with her antics. She has a few party tricks that she pulls thanks to her powers, like asking people to throw hatchets or other dangerous objects at her while she drinks a stein of beer, and then dodging all of them while not spilling a drop. There is a glamorous, larger than life quality to her that is intoxicating.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: People who aren’t as extroverted or are physically weaker than Ganzrig will easily find that she is kind of a bully, and will push people around to get what she wants. She is prone to mocking others and punching down when harassing people for sport, and does not tolerate people talking shit or otherwise lurking around plotting to try to take her down a peg. She’s quick to anger and violence, and will knock someone’s lights out for relatively small trespasses. Ganzrig has a lot of privilege that she doesn’t fully comprehend, which blinds her to the plight of others who have not had the same opportunities as her. She’s kind of a shallow person.

How They Change: In Kismet Ganzrig will have to deal with who she is without her luck on all the time, how much it defines her, and how it has shaped how she interacts with the people around her. In the tabletop game, Ganzrig herself didn’t change, but the guy who killed her kind of slowly realized that perhaps he didn’t have to, and that while she was not good, she was perhaps not as bad as he had been led to believe. At the end of the game, Hawkmoth will be accompanying August back to Ismes to bring Ganzrig’s ashes back to her family, where I’ll get to introduce Ganzrig’s two sisters, Kuirik and Dodi.

Why You Love Them: Sometimes, it’s fun to have a character who’s just kind of mean. Ganzrig is a very pure spirit who I can with confidence say is one of my few truly neutral characters. She has undeniable charm, which made her one of my favorite background characters in our game, even if she died like halfway through it. I liked her enough to decide to make her and August’s frenemy-ship one of the core relationships in Kismet. I think she makes a really awesome foil to him, I think they could learn a lot from each other.

#flowerwench

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gt-adventures · 6 years

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An Enchanted Adventure Part 3: In Which Jack Purchases Some Ingredients for a Spell [sfw, all ages, fantasy adventure comedy]

[Giants and Dragons and Wizards oh my! This story is set in the world of the Enchanted Forest Chronicles BUT You DO NOT need to know what The Enchanted Forest Chronicles is to read this. Just know it is a kinda fun fairytale trope filled world! No content warnings that I can think of. Not even strong language! ]

You can also read it on deviantart HERE (links to previous parts: 1, 2 ) This part has less GT than the previous two but more will come!

---

“Who will help the dragons?”

“The King! The King! The King of the Enchanted Forest” proclaimed the chipmunk from Kendria’s head.

Jack blanched, was frozen for five whole seconds before disappearing into the tall grass, holding their hands and rocked back and forth.

“Hey, Jack,” Kendria, moving into their space to put her hand on their shoulder, the chipmunk ran down her arm to sniff at their ear.

“Wuh, we’re in the Enchanted Forest.” they muttered. “We’re in the Enchanted Forest!” they screamed, and leaned forward into the dirt to continue screaming.

“Are you, alright?” Kendria asked.

In an instant Jack stood up, a serene look on their face. “Nope, but we’re never getting out of here alive so it doesn’t matter how I feel.”

“Unless,” said Jack, and put their face right up to the chipmunk who squeaked, “You know a way out”

The chipmunk took a few steps back before answering “Out? Out of the forest? No, never been out! Know people! Know people who have!”

“Then,” Jack smiled, “can you take us to them?”

It chewed it’s paw and cleaned it’s face a few times, “Shouldn’t help, what if! What if the king finds out!”

Kendria pouted “oh pretty please, we mean no harm and all you will do is lead us to someone. Will you do it for me?” her years of training powering the shimmer in her eyes and the quiver of her lips.

The chipmunk beamed at the princess “oh, oh I cannot, cannot say no to you!” it said, and leapt to the ground, “this way! This way!” and ran off.

Following the chipmunk was very difficult. It couldn’t be seen in the grass, just the twitching of the foliage. Occasionally it would crawl up a rock or a log and would be tapping its feet when the humans caught up. The trek was especially hard on Kendria. Jack had boots, Kendria had slippers. Jack wore leather armor and underneath it was fabric so tough it might as well be leather too. Kendria had on her satin nightgown, barely. It caught onto every thorn and twig and sharp rock protrusion it could find. Jack had gloves which, Kendria suspected magically, gripped onto every surface. Kendria’s hands were soon more bloody than not.

“Dammit,” spat Kendria as her gown found another patch of bramble. She pulled and it ripped up to her mid thigh, and she tumbled to the ground.

Jack rushed to her side to help her up and then examined her leg. She pushed them away.

“What are you doing?”

“Making sure you didn’t get pricked by a thorn, I don’t want you falling into an eternal sleep” they said.

“I’m not cursed!” Kendria fumed, “No dark fairies attended my naming day, but thanks for your concern.”

“My concern is not for you, I didn’t want to deal with a curse.”

“Then I rescind my thanks, I wish I was cursed!” Kendria tried to kick Jack but they dodged out of the way easily.

A loud cawing from above stopped their bickering. A crow was circling overhead. There wasn’t any doubt that it was marking their location.

Swiftly, they under a tree, out of site from anyone flying.

“How long can we go undetected?” Kendria asked.

“Without magic? Not very long. I do know a concealment spell but it takes time and ingredients, ingredients that I don’t have!”

“Then we have to get out, I don’t suppose you have a map in your bag and just forgot about it?”

Jack shook their head, “I know what’s in my bag, and regardless, making maps of this place is a pointless endeavor. The forest is constantly moving and shifting.”

That was just great. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. She was supposed to be safe and sound at the giant’s castle waiting for rescue. But she was hunted by dragons, possibly a king, lost in a dangerous magical forest from which it was impossible to escape, and to top it off her clothes were falling apart! As tears came to her eyes Kendria couldn’t look at Jack anymore, she rounded to the other side of the tree to have a good sob.

“Jack, was that there before?”

Jack ran over and Kendria pointed down the hill to a cottage that rested on wheels. The surprise and interest on their face was their answer.

“I’ve heard, and this is only a rumor, that the forest sometimes moves things to where they are needed,” they said.

“So, were we brought to the cottage, or was the cottaged brought to us?” Kendria asked, crouching down along with Jack.

“Either way, we should check it out,” and Jack started to make their way down the hill, but Kendria held them back.

“What if it’s an evil witch who will stuff us into her oven!” she warned.

Jack rolled their eyes, “It ain’t made of candy.” but they slowed down and stayed low. Kendria mimicked their movements, but wasn’t nearly as graceful.

As they neared the cottage it became clear it was not inhabited by a human. It would be a perfect play house for a child of about 7 or 8. One of the wheels was broken, and around were signs of semi-permanence. One hundred feet from the cottage was a boarder of stones, which were also used to mark off a garden and a path up to the door. Both the garden and the cottage were explosions of colors. Once they reached the stones they could read the words painted on the roof.

‘OTTO’S ODDITIES OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK. MOSTLY’

Not a witch. They both breathed enormous sighs of relief and stood up in synch. Jack lead the way up to the door and knelt down. They looked at Kendria before knocking on it.

After a few seconds the door was opened by a wood elf. A handsome fat little fellow with blue-brown skin, black hair in a tight ponytail, an impeccably kept mustache, dressed in a brightly colored suit with many pockets. He looked Jack up and down, his long ears twitching, then he spotted Kendria and his hears and face fell. He sighed deeply.

“Welcome to Otto’s Oddities,” he said in monotone disappointment, “I do not offer advice on quests, nor to I give out quest items. You’ll have much more luck with a dwarf or a gnome, have a nice day.”

Jack’s hand stopped Otto from closing the door.

“Actually, we aren’t on a quest,” said Jack, “but we are looking for oddities.”

“And clothes!” called Kendria, “Do you have clothes?”

Otto’s ears perked up and his face brightened considerably, “Then you need not look any further my human friends! For Otto’s Oddities has everything! Please, come in, come in, and forgive my initial rudeness,” He stepped aside and welcomed them inside. They had to crawl on their hands and knees but they fit through the door.

Unremarkable from the outside, the inside was sprawling. The walls were lined with bookshelves, and the rest filled with asieles of, well, everything. Display cases nearly bursting jewelry, tables piled high with scrolls, barrels filled with unidentifiable substances both liquid and solid, and shelves straining under the weight of potions, pottery, boxes, armor, weapons, and more.

And yet, when Kendria and Jack stood up, her head nearly brushed the ceiling, and Jack had to bend over slightly.

“So, clothes!” said Otto, staring up at Kendria.

“Yes, please,”

“We have several outfits for the amateur adventurer!” he said

“Oh, I’m not adventurer, I’m a princess, I need a dress.”

Otto seemed to be having some sort of internal struggle, eyes twitching, fingers twisting around each other into strange shapes. Then he snapped his head in the direction of one of the aisles to the left and screeched:

“PAY FOR IT FIRST” his eyes bulged. He blinked before turning back to Kendria “#*&@ing thieves,” he muttered.

“I can’t,” he took a breath, “I can’t in good conscious sell you a dress that will, if you are lucky, last until the end of the next day.”

The elf was right. Kendria looked down at the remains of her gown. She couldn't even lift it up daintily without being arrested for public indecency. She followed Otto into the maze of clothing racks.

“Please, take your time,” he said, presenting the long aisle of browns and muddied red and green clothing. Then he handed her a small vial, “and take this, for your hands.”

“Oh, thank you! How much-”

“On the house miss, I don’t like blood on my merchandise.”

He sped off before Kendria could thank him.

----

The amount of odds and ends stuffed into this place was almost concerning. Strike that. It was concerning. But Jack wasn’t one to question how others came by their hordes, not when most of their own came to them through dubious means at best.

This place was something else though. While organized by type and usage, it was very general. Several displays were piled so high with junk they were staying intact by spite. Or magic. Probably magic.

For the moment Jack forgot what they were looking for. They were surrounded by stuff, and no one was watching them. They didn’t even look as their hand snagged something small off of a shelf and slipped it into their bag.

PAY FOR IT FIRST came the bellowing voice of the elf. How had he known!? Jack grumbled but put the object back. In the same… general area.

*cough* Jack spun around, and there was Otto, standing with his hands behind his back.

“Can I help you?” his voice dripping poison.

Jack knelt so that they were eye to eye. “Yeah, I’m looking for spell components, possibly rare ones.”

Otto narrowed his eyes and his ears folded back. “It is policy for me to ask what you intend to do with these components.”

“I’m not going to enchant the girl.”

Otto nodded, “follow me.”

They went to the complete opposite side of the store.

“Aisle 1 is powders and liquids” barrels piled with a rainbow of powders of varius granule size stood across shelves with vials and bottles of swirling substances.

“ Aisle 2 is runes and diagrams” this comprised of drawers with labels on them “you must ask me to unlock one if you want to examine the contents”

“Aisle 3 is… thingamajigs”

And he sped off again.

---

Jack didn’t need any help finding what they needed, though it took a while. Long enough that Otto was able to make hurried adjustments to Kendria’s outfit. Otto thanked the gods for his magical sewing machine.

Once Jack brought their haul Otto calculated the price. And Jack’s heart stopped. They didn’t have any money. And the princess definitely didn’t.

Otto blew up and threatened to throw them out, Kendria in the buff.

“How about a trade!” Kendria said.

Jack glared at Kendria, clutching their bag. She was not about to make them give up any of their possessions. She didn’t even know what they had, and they wanted to keep it that way.

But Kendria removed her necklace. The one she had stolen from Dobbilan.

Otto snatched it up.

“This will cover the outfit, but those components are pricey,” he said, pocketing the necklace and looking Kendria in the eyes.

No. Looking at her ears. She hesitated but removed her earrings and placed them on the counter. They were given to her on her 16th birthday by her fairy godmother. They were made of fairy’s gold and had feycut emeralds.

Otto took out a magnifier and examined the gems. The sharp intake of breath told Jack that they more than covered the cost.

“You have a d-”

“Wait,” said Jack, “We need some basic supplies too. Surely the earrings are worth a couple sleeping bags and rations?”

Otto grumbled a “yes”, and fetched them two very bare bones adventuring packs which Jack dropped into their mysterious bag that could hold everything.

“Good thinking!” said Kendria as they were being shoved out the door.

“Thanks for shopping! Please come again!” and the door slammed on both their behinds.

They traveled a short ways until Jack decided that they were in a good spot to cast the spell. It next to a a large rocky outcrop.

Kendria watched enraptured by the process, but couldn’t see how any of the steps contributed to hiding them. Eventually Jack handed her 3 pinches of powdered Nightshade claw topped with a single drop of mimic blood. She was instructed to stand on a lattice pattern they had made with some chicken bones inscribed with runes, which somehow didn’t crack under her feet.

They said the magic words and Kendria repeated them. And they were engulfed in black smoke which tasted and smelled of nothing. Not the absence of taste or smell, but the concept of nothing. In fact, for an instant, Kendria knew she was nothing.

And then they were back, every component was gone. There weren’t even indentations in the grass left by the bone lattices.

“That will keep us hidden for about 6 hours, I suggest we sleep.” Jack said. It was indeed past sundown.

“I’ll take first watch,” they said.

They ate some of the rations, setting up a small fire and their bedrolls under the rocky outcrop. Kendria hadn’t realized how long it had been since her last meal, but stopped herself from devouring all of her food. She had no nightgown to change into, so she just took off her leather armor, crawling into her bedroll in her normal, rough, clothes.

She thought she would have trouble getting to sleep. Even with Jack keeping watch and the spell in effect. Especially with Jack keeping watch. They weren’t trustworthy, they could leave her there! But she was also exhausted and she fell unconscious in a few minutes.

---

Jack looked at the sleeping princess. In sleep there was no sign of stress on her face. No tension. They wished they could say the same. They may be hidden, but they were not invisible.

Invisible.

Jack walked over to a nearby tree and sat down, placing their bag next to them. They stuck their hand in and visualized the desired object, which fell into their hand a moment later.

Taking it out Jack held up the ring, letting it reflect the dimming fire light. They would need to replenish it soon. It wasn’t cold out, but the night wasn’t exactly warm either.

The ring was incredibly intricate. Braided from gold and platinum as thin as pixie hair into a mobius. And magic. Buttloads of magic.

If the guild’s sources were correct, this was a Gyges Ring. It was what Jack had been after at Dobbilan’s, but they hadn’t been able to confirm it, and they still couldn’t. If it wasn’t real, they hoped the dragon egg would make up for their failure. Otherwise they would be blacklisted. They put the ring back into the bag. If it was a Gyges Ring, it would reek of magic. Most people couldn’t sense it, but anyone who could wasn’t someone you wanted to meet.

Jack wasn’t sure how they were going to explain the princess. Maybe the guild could ransom her?

They sighed and walked back to the relative safety of the rocks and threw another hunk of wood on the fire.

---

A boot in her side was Kendria’s rude awakening. She blinked in the dimming firelight to scowl up at Jack.

“Your turn,” Jack hissed.

Before going to sleep Jack re-cast the Hiding Enchantment. Recasting was easier than the initial enchanting. It only took the smallest pinch of Nightshade Claw on one’s eyelids and reciting a short couplet.

Kendria had never been on watch before, she hoped she would be able to stay awake.

First she warmed herself by the fire, and imagined stories forming from the lively embers. Dances at balls, perfectly choreographed, and betrayals of love.

Next she took a piece of chalk from one of Jack’s pouches and scribbled all over the rock, at least wherever the light hit it enough to see.

Now she was bored and in danger of falling asleep in front of the warm fire. She wondered if she could stay awake by getting so close that it hurt, but it hurt too much. She needed something to occupy her time.

She spotted Jack’s bag.

The bag that looked too small to hold a dragon egg. Too small to hold everything else they had pulled out and put in, including their armor and the adventuring packs. It all fit in there somehow. It couldn’t hurt to to just, open it! And see what else Jack had.

She sat in front of the fire, bag in her lap, and she opened it.

It was completely dark inside, but it was dark outside too.

She reached inside.

It happened fast. She screamed as her arm was pulled up to her shoulder, her other hand gripping the outside of the bag for dear life, but it was too strong and she fell inside.

There was no up. No down. No left and no right. No warm no cold. No sound and no light. She knew she was still screaming but nothing reached her ears but her own heartbeat. Was there even air? Or was it just more nothing. How long could she stay like this?

All she could do was lie there, in the nothing, and cry. Her tears hung onto her eyes unless she shook them away.

Then something grasped her foot and pulled. Pulled her out of the bag and onto the cold hard ground.

The dim firelight was as bright as a sun compared to the void and the return of gravity made the world spin. Real air stung her lungs as she gasped and coughed. Blinking she looked up into Jack’s fearsome visage, the firelight flickering menacingly.

“I’m, I’m sorry”

“Sorry! You went through my things!”

“So!? Most of it isn’t even rightfully yours!”

Jack stomped their feet and clenched their fists, “Actually it is! I don’t carry around everything I’ve stolen.”

Kendria looked at the ground, a few tears hitting the ground.

“Not only that, you knew the bag was magical! And yet you touched it!” Jack growled, “What a foolish thing to do. Don’t princesses get taught anything useful!?”

Dirt dug under her fingernails as Kendria gripped the forest floor, her hold body was shaking. /no. We don’t. I’m lucky to know what little magic I know/ And she cried. Not loud and pathetic as she had been trained, but deep and quiet.

“You’re better off just ditching me,” she said.

“What!?” cried Jack.

“I’m just a liability! I’m pathetic and useless while you’re skilled and knowledgeable!”

Jack knelt down next to her and took her face in one of their hands, forcing her to look at them.

“I can’t just leave you here to die!” they said, taking time for each word.

Kendria hit their hand away, how dare they touch her!

“And why not!”

“Because…” Jack looked like they were about to say something but decided against it “Because I stole you! It would tarnish my reputation if something I stole got damaged or lost!”

Kendria couldn’t tell if they were joking.

Jack took her wrist and pulled her to her feet “Come one, neither of us is going to get any more sleep, we might as well keep moving”

They packed up their things and put out the fire.

“Do you think we will make it out of here?” asked Kendria.

“With my brains and your good looks we are sure to prevail!”

If it was slow going in the daytime, they were reduced to a snail’s pace at night. Kendria’s new boots and armor helped a great deal. She wasn’t tip toeing around or getting stuck and scraped with every step. But they couldn’t see. If the moon was out they couldn’t tell, the forest was so thick.

But eventually the sun began to rise and even through the canopy, warmed the weary travelers.

“Did you hear that!” Jack stopped and Kendria bumped into them.

“No I-”

“Sh! Listen!”

They were both as silent as the void in Jack’s bag. And Kendria heard it. Off in the distance. A dragon’s roar.

“DAMMIT!” Jack spat, they had forgotten to recast the spell.

And they ran.

[thanks for reading! please reblog!]

#giant tiny #giant/tiny #g/t #size difference #g/t writing

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justforbooks · 6 years

Photo

REBECCA CHAPMAN, who has a master of arts in English and comparative literature from Columbia University, hit bottom professionally last summer when she could not even get a job that did not pay. Vying for an internship at a boutique literary agency in Manhattan, Ms. Chapman, 25, had gone on three separate interviews with three people on three different days. “They couldn’t even send me an e-mail telling me I didn’t get it,” she said.

It’s a story familiar to anyone seeking to break into the New York publishing world. Willie Osterweil, 25, an aspiring novelist who graduated magna cum laude from Cornell in 2009, found himself sweeping Brooklyn movie theaters for $7.25 an hour. And the closest that Helena Fitzgerald, a recent Columbia graduate, got was an interview at a top magazine, during which the editor dismissed her literary career dreams, telling her, “C’mon, that’s not realistic.”

Which explains, in a way, how they all ended up on a crisp November night, huddled together at an invitation-only party at a cramped, bookshelved apartment on the Upper East Side.

It was the weekly meeting of The New Inquiry, a scrappy online journal and roving clubhouse that functions as an Intellectuals Anonymous of sorts for desperate members of the city’s literary underclass barred from the publishing establishment. Fueled by B.Y.O.B. bourbon, impressive degrees and the angst that comes with being young and unmoored, members spend their hours filling the air with talk of Edmund Wilson and poststructuralism.

Lately, they have been catching the eye of the literary elite, earning praise that sounds as extravagantly brainy as the thesis-like articles that The New Inquiry uploads every few days.

“They’re the precursor of this kind of synthesis of extrainstitutional intellectualism, native to the Internet, native to the city dweller,” said the novelist Jonathan Lethem, an early champion.

“They’re not trapped within an old paradigm,” he added. “They’re just making it their own.”

The New Inquiry is edited by Rachel Rosenfelt, 26, who graduated from Barnard College in 2009. Though she had some luck finding work, her exposure to the literary establishment left her unimpressed. “It killed my interest in publishing,” she said of her internship at The New Yorker during her freshman year. “It just felt like they had all ‘arrived.’ It was boring. No one talked. The only real rule was, ‘Don’t mess this up.’ ”

Young, Web-savvy and idealistic, she and two friends — Jennifer Bernstein and Mary Borkowski — wanted to create their generation’s version of cultural criticism, equally versed in Theodor Adorno and Britney Spears. Finding contributors was easy: their social circle was filled with overeducated, underemployed postgrads willing to work free to be heard on subjects like Kanye West’s effect on the proletarian meta-narrative of hip-hop.

After earning a master’s and writing on a farm in upstate New York, Ms. Chapman returned to the city uncertain about what to do next.

“I met Rachel on one of my first days back,” she said, “and she was like, ‘Be our new literary editor.’ ”

There was no thought of turning a profit. But who cared? No one was making any money on the traditional path, anyway.

“There’s something incredibly liberating,” Ms. Rosenfelt said, “when you realize that climbing that ladder is a ladder to nowhere.”

Ms. Chapman added: “My whole life, I had been doing everything everybody told me. I went to the right school. I got really good grades. I got all the internships. Then, I couldn’t do anything.”

Ms. Rosenfelt and her collaborators envisioned a kind of literary salon reminiscent of the Lost Generation of the 1920s. So once a week, about 20 of The New Inquirer’s contributors and guests gather at an unmarked clandestine bookstore, a sort of literary speakeasy, in a second-floor, three-room apartment on the Upper East Side.

At 9 p.m. on a recent Thursday, Ms. Rosenfelt, wearing a black sweater, miniskirt and combat boots, appeared behind a blue door in the unimposing prewar apartment building. The door creaked open to reveal a disheveled space that looked like a used-book store in any college town, with shelves of yellowing volumes of Dostoyevsky and Camus reaching to the ceiling and air thick with the musty smell of stale tobacco and old paperbacks.

This space belongs to a bookseller in his 50s, the godfather for The New Inquiry, a man with bushy brows and the affably abstruse mien of a coffeehouse intellectual. (He asked that his name and identifying details not be published because his building prohibits a shop in the space.) He opens only by invitation, when he feels like it.

Ms. Rosenfelt described meeting there as a form of “urban hacking.”

For the first hour, attendees, most in their mid-20s and many dressed in untucked oxford shirts and off-brand jeans, mingled around a rickety table packed with half-empty Jim Beam bottles.

Despite the fact that everyone was young and attractive, no one seemed to flirt or network. Instead, they traded heady banter about the Situationists and reveled in an atmosphere of warmhearted mutual support; it felt like an oral dissertation mixed with a ’70s encounter group.

At one point, a few debated, only half-ironically, whether a new bank in a former Dunkin Donuts nearby was philosophically akin to the French reactionaries’ construction of the Sacré Coeur basilica on the site of the Paris Commune’s insurrection in 1870.

Then, around 10 p.m., Ms. Rosenfelt called everyone into the main room. The highlight of each salon is a group reading in which each person selects a three-minute reading on the predetermined topic.

“We’re reading about ‘failed revolutions’ tonight,” Ms. Rosenfelt reminded the crowd. She started with a passage from “To the Finland Station,” “in which Edmund Wilson couches the inevitable failure of Marxism in Edmund Wilson’s idea of the national and ethnic identity of Marx.”

The room exploded in vaudeville-style hoots.

Continuing around the circle, Ms. Fitzgerald, the would-be magazine writer, read from “The Cantos,” by Ezra Pound. Mr. Osterweil, the frustrated novelist, read from Guy Debord’s “Society of the Spectacle.” Tim Barker, a junior at Columbia, awkwardly admitted that he, too, had chosen a reading from Debord. (What are the odds?)

One young attendee offered a reading from Gustave Flaubert’s “Sentimental Education.”

“A lot of this book takes place during the revolutions of 1848,” he explained. “The part that I think has a good point for revolutionaries is how quickly a failed revolution can descend into careerism.”

The word hung in the air, as noxious as cigarette smoke.

DESPITE its slacker-revolutionary spirit, The New Inquiry is starting to tiptoe toward the publishing mainstream.

With an audience that understands references to consumerism as “a hedonic treadmill,” many articles in The New Inquiry make The Paris Review look like a beach read. Arch and often aggressively leftist, the articles dance effortlessly from Jacques Derrida to Lady Gaga.

Recent pieces include a review of Ben Jeffery’s “Anti-Matter”; a critical survey of the novels of the French provocateur Michel Houellebecq; an essay on the class struggle portrayed in “Rise of the Planet of the Apes”; and a personal piece by Malcolm Harris, a young writer who recalled growing up in the suburbs and finding sanctuary in Borders.

The journal counts cultural savants like Todd Gitlin, Douglas Rushkoff and Mark Greif, a founder of N + 1, as early champions, and articles have been linked on Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Beast blog and the National Public Radio Web site. Even barbs by the establishment elicit pride, like when James Wolcott of Vanity Fair called Mr. Osterweil’s film criticism “Maoist” on Twitter.

On Sunday, the journal is to make a social debut of sorts among the city’s literary A-list, organizing — in partnership with the publisher New Directions, Google and others — a marathon reading of Frederic Tuten’s novel “The Adventures of Mao on the Long March,” featuring 60 readers, including writers like A. M. Homes, Kurt Andersen and Oscar Hijuelos, at the Jane hotel in the West Village.

And even though staff members routinely serve up gloomy eulogies over the “death of print,” the publication plans to roll out a quarterly print edition next year, along with an iPad magazine for $2 a month. Its breakout stars are even starting to climb publishing’s “ladder to nowhere.”

Atossa Abrahamian, 25, an editor, has written for New York Magazine. Sarah Leonard, 23, is an associate editor at Dissent. Mr. Harris, 22, who was sifting through grad-school rejection notices a year ago, has written for N + 1 and Utne Reader and has been called out by Glenn Beck on television.

This is not to say that the generational angst fueling The New Inquiry is likely to vanish soon. At the most recent salon two weeks ago, Will Canine, the operations director, showed up with 5 o’clock shadow after spending 35 hours in jail following his arrest at the Occupy Wall Street protests.

Tim Barker, a junior at Columbia, said he was drawn to the salons for the chance to “discuss ideas at an extremely high level, without worrying about status or material support of traditional institutions: publishing houses or universities.” He added, though, that while he aspires to be a history professor, he was “extremely conscious of the contraction of job opportunities” in publishing and academia.

Inside the bookstore, however, the turmoil of the outside world seemed far away. The lights were low, the conversation crackling.

“This is my fantasy: a room full of books, people talking about books — it smells like books,” explained Ms. Chapman, the journal’s literary editor. “It’s the literary community that I had read about when I was younger. It’s Moveable Feast-type stuff.”

Despite her upbeat take on the proceedings, Ms. Chapman admitted she wasn’t feeling chipper. It was her birthday. A happy occasion? For most, maybe — but not, she explained, when you are turning 25, having graduated summa from Cornell, with a master’s from Columbia, only to find yourself unemployed and back living at home with your parents.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS

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housedzemael-archived · 6 years

Note

Vigsterkr and Elric (obvs feel free to skip certain parts for Elric, I just want the deets on Trell's friend)

Time to find out about Good Norn Dad #1 and #1 Chaos Roth

Vigsterkr

Full Name: Vigsterkr Lonehelm

Gender and Sexuality: Bisexual Dude

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Norn

Birthplace and Birthdate: Scion 182, 1156 AE in Hoelbrak

Guilty Pleasures: Guilty Pleasure implies he feels shame about it but I dont think he feels shame for any of his hobbies and/or interests. I guess Ill go with one that most people dont suspect and that is that he really loves papercrafts

Phobias: He is afraid of being forgotten, and also, terrified of squids

What They Would Be Famous For: Hopefully, for some great feat of exploration. He dreams of seeing corners of tyria unseen by anys eyes with his family.

What They Would Get Arrested For: He is a pirate after all, probably smuggling among other things.

OC You Ship Them With: I dont really ship him with anyone atm. I do know he had a wife at some period of time, but I dont know much about her.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Probably Eibhear, simply because terrible mist demon with evil ex-pirate doctor ghost as his guide

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Romance

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Hes probably not a huge fan of like, faked deaths in plots. I dont know why it just feels correct.

Talents and/or Powers: Hes a guardian, hes good at the pretty blue magic. Also hugs.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Hes a big pirate dad, who loves all his children. Gives grade A hugs. Is very good at throwing around fire.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: His moderately pessimistic view on the world, though he loves it he fears that nothing will ever cause it to heal or bring shattered families back together. He is wrong.

How They Change: Well, Hes been doing a lot better since Sylvie has been rescued and good old Saeunn stepped out of the mists. Proving him wrong about shattered families never healing.

Why You Love Them: Big Sad Norn Dad

Elric

Full Name: Elric Theron Roth

Gender and Sexuality: Child

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Ascalonian Human

Birthplace and Birthdate: Zephyr 3, 1319 AE in Ebonhawke

Guilty Pleasures: He has taken a liking to theft from the influence of good old Aunty Zara. Its more something his mother doesn’t like, but he loves it and wishes to be a Masterful Thief when hes older

Phobias: He has the very sensible and reasonable fear of branded, and also a strong fear of swans

What They Would Be Famous For: Hopefully, for being a masterful thief under an assumed fancy name

What They Would Get Arrested For: He wants! to Steal!

OC You Ship Them With: No

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Next Question

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: High Fantasy Adventures

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: At the moment I honestly Dont know for him.

Talents and/or Powers: Thievery, some latent magical abilities that seem to be drawn towards shadow magic, also, some killer puppy dog eyes.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Small Child Full of Zest for Life with Big Dreams and a loving family

Why Someone Might Hate Them: GIVE THAT BACK THATS MINE

How They Change: He and his good friend steal a dog. The change is that they now have a Dog.

Why You Love Them: This vine has proper Elric energies

#neranishin #jo talks #guild wars children #vigsterkr lonehelm #elric roth #coyote roth #alec roth #thank you rani!

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awed-frog · 7 years

Text

This is going to be a mess - I had to erase the original post because the bots just wouldn’t stop coming, so here is how it all started -

And here are your kind requests -

So - thank you for your lovely asks and PMs - here we go.

(Keep in mind that those moments were hugely embarrassing to me, so you shouldn’t find them funny or anything. They’re tragic stories I’m relating for your moral betterment - that is all.)

1) The ‘The Greeks Made Me Do It’ story

As a bit of background, I was eighteen and had just moved to another city to start my studies. I’d been there for a month, knew literally no one, had no idea where half my classes were and my ideals of switching to a Sophisticated Look and becoming A Lady had miserably failed, which means I was walking around wearing this insanely expensive, Managing Director of the IMF coat plus combat boots and frayed jeans plus a lopsided handmade scarf and 'Marilyn going on Morticia’ lipstick (I worried - a lot - about being the only weirdo and the only unfinished person in the entire town, because that was before I met Hamster Girl and Colour Matching Girl and I spend as much on weed as you do for rent but everything I own is see-through, threadbare or ripped Guy). Plus, I couldn’t speak or understand the local language all that well, and I’d taken to nodding and smiling whatever people said, which generally made me look like an idiot and meant I never knew what was going on.

(And, yes, it’s tempting and it seems like the easier option, but seriously - don’t do that.)

All of that means I was more or less living in the university library so I could pretend I had a purpose in life and, well, going from a high school library to a real academic library was like stepping into the Restricted Section - I mean, of course, I read what I was supposed to read, and I lost myself in serious books that had little to do with my actual subjects (that was my Minoan period - I’m sure every Classics student had one), but there were also the - uhm - other books, you know? All those studies about homosexuality in the Greek world, and how Mapplethorpe’s pictures were connected with frescoes of Saint Sebastian, and people having sex with statues and kings trying to trick their young wives into anal and truly lurid collections of Greek art which my high school teacher had once described as ‘Something you should probably have a look at, but if I let you borrow my copy your parents would not be happy with me’. And on that particular day, I had actually devoted my afternoon to a no-nonsense book about Eastern influences in Greek art, and well, the study of lovers and concubines on Greek amphorae was a sort of a plan B to relax a bit between chapters, because I was reading in a foreign language and it was hard work and when you don’t know anyone, it’s like you’re the only one working, right, and everyone else is off to wild parties and poetry lectures and screenings of a Guatemalan movie you never knew existed and that’s depressing af, so yay for weird art - but at around five I realized the day was done and I didn’t want to give the dirty book back because, come on, it wasn’t that dirty and I had a right to read it and it was complemented with passages by Theophrastus and Plato, plus it had come to me via the now defunct goblin-based system of tunnels underground the reading room -

~note - for younger readers, these things~

- so I didn’t want to give it back and go through the hassle of requesting it again, and I remember the fuck it moment that came over me - I was eighteen, I was studying the damn stuff, so I’d borrow the damn book and if the librarians disapproved, well, they could bite me.

(Obviously, they didn’t disapprove. The bored guy at the service desk didn’t even look at me, because nobody looks at you, ever, and your life is your own, so go live it.)

And next, I had to go shopping because there’s only so much time you can survive on cold cereal - and suddenly there I was, in a big and foreign supermarket, a dirty book burning a hole through my old Invicta, my Queen of England coat clashing with everything else I was wearing, and I was moving from aisle to aisle without making eye contact and trying to remember what spices were called in French, and I’d almost made it - I was collecting my mismatched groceries on the other side of the till when the bloody alarm started blaring, and two uniformed guards appeared out of thin air and it was like one of those slow-motion scenes in movies, right, when the dust in the air glimmers like gold and sound is no longer a thing and someone’s talking and everybody is staring and when God pushed the ‘resume normal speed’ button the two men were gesturing and smiling smugly and there was this old lady next to me and she was taking in my luxurious coat and my frayed jeans and putting two and two together - I physically felt her horrified, gleeful gaze on me like scalding water - and Jesus, I could see the headlines in my local paper already ‘Young Promise of Sci-Fi Literature Arrested’ (I was writing fantasy back then, but most normal people don’t seem to know the difference) and there were my parents, okay, my poor parents walking with their heads down as formerly friendly neighbours threw garbage at them and someone would interview my history teacher and he was bound to say, ‘She was something of a strange girl, but I never thought she’d end up in prison’ and next, of course, came the walk of shame in front of all twelve tills, with dozens of proper adults (people with families and eggs in their baskets, women with tasteful lipstick and women with kids and doggies instead of books about dead prostitutes) staring at me in disapproval, and What has the world come to and I heard that today, young women are as likely to commit crimes as young men and Do you think she’s on drugs? and then I was forced into the Small Room of Humiliation and asked to please empty my bag, so out came the frosting I was planning to eat raw and the crown of garlic I’d bought because it looked pretty and had no intention of ever using and a giant-ass bag of rice and as I looked on, horrified, I realized nothing made sense with anything and even those burly, middle-aged men could see that just fine - but, well, every single horrifying, meaningless item was on the receipt, so they had me empty my pockets (one condom, safety pins, a Swiss knife, an IKEA pencil and a very smooth and round rock, God have mercy on me) and next we all looked at one another like, What now? and that’s when I truly gave up on rational thinking, okay, because my first instinct is always to be of service, and so I said, in my heavily accented French, ‘The library book has a barcode, maybe that’s the problem?’ and of course, they hadn’t really looked at the book yet - it was face down on the formica table, looking all prim and innocent in its unassuming dark blue cover, but when the older man picked it up with his bear paw, I suddenly realized the front of it was quite different - I sat there and saw his eyebrows disappear into his hairline as he took in the big-ass picture (a painting of a woman fellating a much younger man) and the title (something along the lines of, THE JOYLESS SEX - TALES OF THE PLEASURE WOMEN, in all capitals, because books about Greek art don’t sell all that well, so anything to do with sex is pimped up to trick the unsuspecting general audience into giving it a shot) and of course he had to open it, because that’s how humans are wired, okay, and the thing right in the middle was a goat-like creature doing unspeakable things with two women and every single cell in my body wanted to explode and disappear and shout ‘IT’S MANDATORY READING FOR THIS CLASS I’M TAKING’, which was a lie, anyway, and I couldn’t get the words out and I couldn’t look up and I couldn’t look away - after a few excruciating minutes (seconds? hours?), the guy scanned the book on his barcode machine and yep, that’s when we all learned that library books respond to the same anti-theft thingies that pick up on stolen wine and cookies and fine cheeses, and Sorry, miss, and You have a good evening, now, and he was extremely uncreepy about it, but it was still hard to find my way out because of the WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUNG PEOPLE UP THESE DAYS bewilderment that was shining like a beacon around his entire body, so, yeah - that was pretty embarrassing.

2) The ‘A Four-Part Seduction’ story

This actually happened almost one year before my adventure with the scanning machine - I was in my last year of high school, had kissed exactly 1 (one) boy, failed to seduce 3 (three) other boys despite my fox-like cunning and my sunny disposition, and I was now ready to sacrifice everything (well: my sanity and my dignity) for The Boy - a basketball player with a long, horse-like face and zero talent in anything whom for some reason I fancied the pants off.

(Looking back, I think I liked he was quiet and kind, and the age-old problem when you’re attracted to mysteriously self-effacing people is that you’re never quite sure - is there a colourful and occasionally wild ocean behind their silent lips and far-off gaze, or are they not saying anything because an evolutionary mishap converted half their brain into a second spleen, and therefore they were left with the mental capacity of a vivacious Mexican mole lizard? The joy is in finding out.)

Anyway, I have a feeling things haven’t changed all that much, but back then when you were intent on romantic hunting, you usually enlisted the help of your closest friends - people who inevitably were:

your age

unexperienced

not very familiar with The Boy and

generally speaking, completely unsuited to hatching a failproof seduction plan of any kind.

On this particular occasion, my advisors were:

a girl who’d been the better half of a couple for time untold (three months, two weeks and five days) and was thus The Expert

another girl who’d done ‘not it, but almost’ with an unnamed boy she’d met over the summer

a third girl who still didn’t quite understand what ‘it’ meant and

my only guy friend who was actually in love with me and I only found out about that twenty years later and that was one true what the fuck moment, because then I wondered what else I hadn’t seen when I was a teenager even if it was there in plain sight (like the fact my German teacher preyed on young boys, for instance,but that’s another story).

So, well - part A of The Plan - getting to know him better - had failed miserably, because what can you discuss with someone you only see once a week in French class and you have a monster crush on? I mostly pestered him about homework dates and then stared mutely at his hands as he turned the pages of his school diary and my God, he must have thought I was an anxious, forgetful idiot with absolutely zero life, ‘which means he already knows you better than most people,’ my best friend said consolingly, before trying out her married name signature (Alice DiCaprio) one more time. And as for part B - that had succeeded, but at what cost? Because through a string of sleights of hand and corruption, we’d managed to shift half our classmates around on the seating chart, so I was now sharing a desk with The Boy himself, but so far that had resulted in some awkward staring (mine), a couple of embarrassed smiles (his) and about 50 000 volt of electricity going through my entire body every time his elbow bumped into my arm by mistake (which happened a lot, because he was left-handed and I’m not and we were sitting the wrong way around).

Now, this had been going on for weeks when the skies suddenly opened above me and the teacher, an I’m frankly disappointed in how everything turned out ‘68 hippy, assigned us a written essay on Victor Hugo and socialism, something that, as an anxious, forgetful idiot with absolutely zero life, I knew quite a lot about. Plus, I was good at French, and that’s how The Boy turned towards me and asked if I’d be willing to help him, his hazel eyes all clear and earnest, shining like stolen jewels on his horse-like face, and being a Cosmo reader, I heard myself laugh throatily and ask, ‘Sure - what will you give me in return?’ and fuck, how do these things happen and why are we not in control of our own bodies and also thank God, because he blinked at me and then said, in a slow voice I read as flirtatious, ‘I’ll buy you a drink’. And that’s how we all entered part C - there were weekly meetings with him in the library to write the essay together, and daily meetings with my girlfriends to analyse everything we’d ever said to each other and I think he was looking at you during break and I saw him blush twice now, he must be sensitive and My sister knows his cousin, I can tell her to ask him if he’s seeing anyone and also long walks by the river with my long-suffering guy friend during which I rambled on and on about how shiny The Boy’s hair was and he contributed to this mind-blowingly fascinating conversation mostly in uhms and grunts.

(Again, how could I have been so stupid? I mean, it was for the best in the end, but - ouch.)

And one windy evening of March, lo and behold, it was finally time for part D (no pun intended) - a bona fide D-A-T-E with The Boy, and possibly there’d be fireworks and he’d say, I’ve been wanting to kiss you for weeks and some tourist would snap a candid photo of us and then marvel at it, years and years later, because Do you ever wonder what happened to this couple, Mabel? Look at how happy and in love and beautiful they are and I’m not saying cover of the National Geographic, but cover of the National Geographic. Also, movies had taught me what was supposed to happen, you know?,

which is why I borrowed make up and rollers from one of my friends and did a clothes pre-selection with her and then a second selection with my guy friend -

(I remember him sitting cross-legged on my bed and strumming my mom’s guitar as I hid behind the closet door to try on The Makeover Outfit and how his expression barely changed when he saw me in a skirt for the first time - how he said, ‘You look - good. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t go for it,’ and how the music turned into something slow and mournful as I disappeared again to put my jeans back on, and what the hell?)

- and at nine pm, I was ready - I had leveled up and transformed, or so it seemed - gone was the windbreaker, and the crappy Converse, and the overlarge plaid shirt - instead, my hair was curled in the right way and my skirt was short but not too short and I’d even bought a push-up bra which was uncomfortable as hell but Who cares, uh?, who cares? And let’s pretend my make-up was still perfect after biking twenty minutes in the half rain, because when I walked into the bar, some catchy song was on and my brand-new hoop earrings were catching the light just so and I was the Goddess of French and Sex and WITNESS ME and we saw each other at once - he was sitting with his friends, the Popular Good-at-Hockey Guys, and he turned as he heard the door open, as if he’d been expecting me, and he immediately smiled and came towards me and ‘So, what can I get you?’ and of course I ordered wine, because I was Sophisticated and also A Lady and as he pushed his way towards the counter I sat down at the only table for two and subtly (I hope) adjusted my cleavage and crossed my legs and wondered whether I should whip my copy of Rimbaud’s Les Illuminations out of my (well: my mom’s) purse just to make it extra clear I meant business, or if that would be considered impolite - a kind of, ‘You took forever to get me that drink’ reproach - and as I was still trying to decide, he came right back, all perfect and tall and horsey-looking in a grey shirt, and he was carrying my wine and a pint of dark beer and some idiotic voice in my head said, ‘Yes, we’d known each other for months, but I remember the night we truly fell in love - your father used to drink these strong beers, you know, and that evening-’ and before that thought could go anywhere, The Boy was there, at my table - he handed me the wine (our fingers touched) and he said ‘Thanks again, really - I would have been dead without you’ and then - and then he walked away and fucking sat down with his friends again because apparently he was a damn sophist underneath that equine disguise and he’d promised me a drink and now I had a drink and what the fuck? and for the second time that night I considered turning to Rimbaud, but you should never turn to Rimbaud because he was an addict and a killer, so I drained my wine in one gulp, looked around desperately, my vision already fogging over, for someone I could bother - there was no one I really knew, only older people and party people and cool people who were already looking at me weirdly - I shrugged my coat on and waved joyfully at The Boy on my way out and man, it’s been twenty years but sometimes I still wonder at it - I don’t think he wanted to be rude, I’m sure he was like me, awkward and empty-headed and inexperienced, and he now works with snakes in Canada so maybe there was something interesting about him, but after I never go to the movies guy and Do you go to this school? guy and Sorry, I’m looking for someone who’ll choke me during sex guy and - mostly - the ghost music / still not sure he existed for real guy, well - that was a crushing moment and the end of my grand plans and when I started to simply tell guys ‘I like you’ and also follow them home before they could realize what was going on and, whatever, if you’re looking for dating advice, that works much, much better.

[Thanks again for your messages - if you like my writing, please visit my AO3 page!]

#ask #short stories #short story #embarrassing teenage memories #wow it's good to be a grown up #anyway #i hope you liked these!#it feels weird to write about myself #but i expect you guys can relate about this stuff?#we've all been there and stuff #:)

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