#its like having a cat but everyone knows the cats decisions are actually my decisions

[bramblebrine-art]

my fucking soul split wild magic sorcerer got GOT so i'm playing.....another splinter of my fucking soul split wild magic sorcerer: halfling bard variant

she was in a fae lord's court until recently and casts bard magic by reciting nonsense rhymes in sylvan like some kind of fucked up slam poet

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Cats&Coffee - C.SC

😻Who: Choi Seungcheol (Seventeen) with fem!reader 😺What: A lot of my brand of humour, perhaps borderline crack? Firefighter!Seungcheol. Business owner!Reader. Sort of a coffee shop au. Brother's best friend au. Reader is Shua's twin. [Simp!Chan as a background character but Simp!Chan is very important to me okay.] 😸Wordcount: 5.8k 🐱Warnings: Fire/arson mentions- nobody is hurt though and its not the main characters. Profanity. A lot of suggestive comments but no smut. More like sexual conversations. Reader is thirsty. Reader is kind of a brat but playfully. Mentions of bruises. Seungcheol calls reader princess&baby once. Implied Dom!Seungcheol but not actually shown. Let me know if I've missed any warnings, I'm terrible at knowing what to mention!

Summary; Okay, so here's the situation; you're just amusedly watching your best friend where he's perched up on a branch trying to convince the little cute fluff ball you are supposedly rescuing to get down, when some very attractive firefighters arrive to save the day. Low and behold, the leader of the bunch is the manifestation of your wettest wildest dreams; all buff and a little cocky and you're pretty certain he's showing off in that tight t-shirt for you. Do you; A- approach and flirt until he throws you over his shoulder or B- approach and flirt, and then completely forget to exchange numbers and only realise when he was long gone and then regret your very existence for the foreseeable future?

Although there isn't any smut, this is definitely an 18+ fic so Minors do NOT interact. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio.

-2024 Masterlist- Ao3 link

A/N; This all came from one of @sluttywoozi 's anon asks I saw that I then got caught on because they mentioned firefighter!Cheol. I don't have the link to the original ask but it's on her account! So inspiration credit goes to that anon!

Edited: 23/12/24

Lee Seokmin is probably the single sweetest person in the entire universe and everyone who meets the man will wholeheartedly agree. It is a unanimous decision that the man can do no wrong.

So, it's not his fault that the newest member of your cat sanctuary made a run for it out of the front door, which Seokmin hadn't closed behind him quickly enough, even though it kind of is. But nobody will ever say that, least of all to the Angel-On-Earth.

“I'm so sorry,” Seokmin apologises for perhaps the tenth time when he shuffles over to your side with his phone clutched in his hands and big, beautiful eyes staring up in a mix of worry and guilt at where Junhui is half wrapped around the branch under him with one hand outstretched trying to coax the brown ball of matted fluff to him.

“It's not your fault,” you assure, blindly reaching out to put a reassuring hand on Seokmin's left shoulder; you are too visually engrossed in what your best friend is doing in the tree to look over at Seokmin.

It isn't the first time that Junhui has climbed a tree to save a cat, or some other kind of dramatic action for the sake of a cat, but it never fails to amuse you highly.

“I should've closed the door,” Seokmin continues, lips pursed in a guilty little pout.

“It's fine, Seokie; Jun's part cat, he's made to climb trees.”

“Aren't cats really bad at getting down from trees?”

“No, they're actually good at climbing down.”

“Then why did Jun climb up after that one?”

“Because he's an idiot,” you snigger, your grin growing wider when your best friend yelps a little as he stretches too far and almost falls.

Well, almost is quite a stretch as his long legs are wrapped entirely securely around the branch and so is half of his left arm, but you're sure that it felt like he was about to fall at least.

“Hey!” Hansol calls, sticking his head out of the entrance door to the coffee shop you own with Junhui, though the main focus of Cats&Coffee is actually the sanctuary at the back.

Well, for you two and the staff, it is the main focus. You all are more than aware that the majority of the customers only visit the coffee shop with the intention of eyeing up the barista and well, you don't entirely blame them; Jeon Wonwoo is an unfairly attractive man.

“I'm going to go into your bag to get your notes, hyung!”

“Okay!” Seokmin calls back, giving Hansol a thumbs up in approval. Hansol returns the hand gesture and then goes back into the store, entirely oblivious to the customers ogling him.

Okay, so the customers don't just turn up for Wonwoo; they turn up for all of the men who are regularly in the building. But as Wonwoo is the sole barista and always in the shop out front and not the sanctuary out back mostly out of sight, you're pretty valid in saying the customers come for him.

“Do something!” Junhui calls after a few more attempts to reach the cat. You take your phone out and take a few pictures of your best friend. “Not what I meant!”

“I'm sending them to Kwannie, he'll be so pissed he missed this,” you muse, already tapping away on your phone to send the photos to Seungkwan, who you know will post them on the Instagram account he runs for Cats&Coffee.

Not because he is an employee or volunteer, because he isn’t, and technically it's not really an official account because the man made it himself one day after his own followers kept bugging him for more photos of the drinks and hot staff from the coffee shop. But because he enjoys posting embarrassing photos of the staff.

So Seungkwan runs what you and the other staff refer to as a fan account for the coffee shop and sanctuary, and he takes advantage of that joke to essentially thirst post about the men in a semi-serious way. Nobody knows if he does it for the sake of the customers, or if Seungkwan genuinely wants Wonwoo to 'grind him like those high quality beans'.

“It's okay, Jun-hyung! I've called for reinforcements!” Seokmin assures. “Just stay right there!”

“Just get the ladder and help me yourself!” Junhui whines in response.

“I'm scared of heights though!”

Junhui sighs and thunks his head on the branch slightly before he gets back to trying to inch along the branch carefully and grab the cat.

It isn't until you've put your phone back away a minute later that you register what Seokmin earlier said. “Hang on, reinforcements?” You question while turning to look inquisitively at the man still on your right where he’s watching Junhui carefully in concern.

“Yes, my best friend knows how to handle situations like this. He's done it a lot,” Seokmin answers confidently, so you accept his words and go back to grinning at the sight of your own best friend failing to win over a cat for the first time in his life.

Maybe you should've asked more questions though because when you hear Seokmin's name being called happily, you certainly do not expect to see a six-foot hunk of handsome fireman bouncing over with a wave and heart-shatteringly beautiful smile.

“Mingyu!” Seokmin calls back, smiling equally as bright and beautiful, and then the best friend is right with you and you're trying not to gawp up at him. “Thanks for coming. Jun-hyung went up to bring the cat down and now he's stuck and the cat won't listen.” Seokmin pouts over at the tree. Mingyu turns to look at the tree and pouts too.

How can a man be so cute and hot at the same time? You really have no idea but Mingyu pulls it off impeccably.

“Aw, poor Jun-hyung,” Mingyu coos sympathetically. “But no worries!” He perks up and turns back around to look at the pair of you. “We'll save them both! And by we I mean Soonyoung-hyung will save them; he's good at this. Animals love him!”

You notice two other men donning the same big jacket and trousers combination of a classic firefighter outfit approaching the tree and setting up the ladder. And hot damn if you aren't suddenly tempted to take up a new hobby of arson just to see them regularly because holy shit all three of these men are ridiculously attractive. You have to swallow thickly to keep the drool in your mouth.

The shorter of the pair by the tree holds onto the bottom of the ladder securely while the other climbs it smoothly. To your genuine delight, the man simply makes an encouraging noise while extending his hand out and the little furry demon of a cat trots straight over. You can't help but burst into cackling laughter as the feline climbs over Junhui as if he is nothing more than part of the tree while your best friend gawps in disbelief.

“Told you animals love him.” Mingyu grins proudly as you all watch Soonyoung traverse down the steps of the ladder, still as smoothly as he went up them even with one arm supporting the cat against his chest and its furry little head nuzzling into the man's jaw while Soonyoung giggles happily at the cute actions.

“A regular Snow White.” You grin.

“I'll be right back!” Soonyoung calls to Junhui and already walking over to the three of you. “Hi! I'm Soonyoung!” He greets brightly. “Your friend says to give the cat to you?” He tries to offer you the cat but it yowls and latches onto his jacket. Luckily, the material is thick and sturdy enough that the cat's claws don't actually reach the man's body.

“I think he likes you,” you muse.

“Aww,” Soonyoung coos and nuzzles the cat who loudly starts to purr. “He's so lovely, what's his name?”

“He hasn't got one yet. We run a sanctuary and he's our newest rescue.”

“A rescue?” Soonyoung turns round, sad eyes on you. “Is he okay.”

“Yeah, the vets gave him the go-ahead, he's just a little shit who wouldn't let them groom him at all. I think we might have to shave him if he doesn't let us.”

“But his hair is so beautiful.” He pouts. “It'll grow back well, right?”

“Of course,” you assure the man making his pout melt away.

“Uhm, hello?!” Junhui yells from the branch, gaining your attention back. Even the man at the bottom of the ladder hasn't been paying him any attention.

“Oh, right.” Soonyoung once again tries to hand the cat to you but the feline really doesn't want to let him go. You think it’s understandable. “Mingyu, can you go up and-”

“No way.” Mingyu shakes his head adamantly with wide eyes. “You know I'm scared of heights, hyung.”

“You're a firefighter who's scared of heights?” You deadpan. He pouts at you. “You're right; why do firefighters even need to climb ladders anyway? Just leave him in the tree, he'll get down when he falls.” Mingyu giggles a little.

“I got it,” a new voice calls, one you initially assume belongs to the man by the ladder but, oh are you so wrong.

A fourth firefighter appears; he’s clad in the same uniform as the others but something about the way he wears it seems more like it was made for him. He's already approaching the tree from the road where the fire engine is parked and he had been sitting inside in wait.

And you are unaware of this but he has definitely been checking you out the entire time and only got out with every intention of showing off.

He stops once at the foot of the tree and glances over his shoulder at the four of you before shucking off his jacket. Your throat dries at the sight of his broad, muscular torso filling out the fitted black t-shirt strapped over with the suspenders of his uniform trousers.

And talking of those trousers, holy shit does he fill them out well. You could've never imagined yourself wanting to bite someone's ass before but here you are, practically salivating at the curve of his plump backside in the ugly trousers. Which is only made more obvious when he starts to climb the ladder.

You don't even notice that the three men you’re standing with start to converse around you; your entire focus is on the epitome of your wet dreams manhandling your best friend down from the tree.

It probably says a lot that even though you have never and will never want to bone your best friend, the sight of the attractive stranger throwing him over his shoulder and carrying him down the ladder like he's nothing really does something to you.

And by that, you mean you'd really like it if the man would throw you over his shoulder, then promptly down onto his bed and climb on top. Or any surface so long as he puts himself between your thighs immediately afterwards.

And to top it off, the man doesn't even put Junhui down once both of his feet are back on the grass; he just turns and starts to approach. The man at the bottom of the ladder rolls his eyes and takes the ladder away knowing exactly what is happening here.

“I believe this belongs to you,” the man states once close enough, abruptly ending the conversation the other three men are having as they look at him. Though he's just staring you down with dark eyes and you're really not going to look away either.

“I wouldn't say he belongs to me,” you return, hoping he gets the hint that you are very single and very willing to mingle with him specifically.

“No? He told me you're his partner.” The fireman tilts his head a little, his left eyebrow raising in question.

“Work partners!” Junhui exclaims, still flopped over the man's shoulder and seeming to be rather willing to remain there for the foreseeable future. “Not romantic or sexual, gross! Not that's she's gross; she's really hot and I've heard good things from her ex-partners!”

Bless Wen Junhui for always trying to hype you up and get you a man.

“Good to know,” the firefighter murmurs, gaze blatantly checking you over. You take the chance to return the favour, and the three men with you quickly back up not wanting to be caught up in this very obvious and shameless flirtation.

Your phone suddenly starts to audibly vibrate in your pocket and you ignore it, more interested in the man in front of you.

“I think you're vibrating,” he points out amusedly.

“Mm, yeah, it's just my phone,” you confirm, half tempted to make a remark about how he could make something else vibrate on you if he wants, but pretty sure that's a little out of social protocol where first meetings with attractive strangers are concerned.

Next time though.

“Isn't he killing your shoulder?” You ask, nodding to Junhui's limp body.

“No.” Though the man still puts Junhui down carefully all the same as if reminded that he really should not stand there with a stranger draped over him any longer or it'd get really weird. “I can carry more weight than him for longer.”

“On your shoulder?”

“However I need to.”

“Good to know,” you return his earlier statement, gaze lingering on the way his chest is all but straining the material of his t-shirt. You don't notice his cocky smirk; you’re far too invested in imagining the material tearing open and freeing his beefy body for your viewing pleasure. Physical too, but those thoughts mostly come later when you're alone in bed.

Junhui stares between the two of you for a moment, wondering if either of you are going to say anything more or just continue to strip each other with your eyes. He figures it's the latter so walks off to try and claim the cat back from Soonyoung.

Neither you nor the hot fireman notice the world continuing to spin around you, up until Mingyu bounces over and pats the slightly shorter man on the shoulder with a; “Chief, we got a call; we need to go. Jihoon-hyung is already waiting to go.”

“Oh, right; work,” Chief replies, face twisting momentarily with displeasure, before he gets back into work mode and nods. “Alright, let's go.” He nods at you in farewell, and Mingyu waves brightly before the tallest rushes right back to the vehicle. The other detours to pick his jacket up from the grass then jogs to climb up into the vehicle too before it pulls away with its lights already flashing and siren kicking in when they're on the main road.

Kind of dazed, you toddle into the store and around the counter to lean dramatically against Wonwoo. There's a mystery stain on the sleeve of his hoodie near your face but you don't have the mental capacity to question it.

Wonwoo doesn't give you any attention until he's done with the customer in front of him.

“What's with you now?” He asks, pulling his arm around from where it's pressed against your chest to sling it around your shoulders instead and tug you more against his chest.

There's another mystery stain here and you vaguely recall that today is clearly a 'Wonwoo is trying to discourage is legions of fangirls' day. The man is dressed in an old, scruffy and stained hoodie and sweatpants combination; the hems barely even meet his ankles and wrists they’re so old, and he has to tie the waistband of the sweatpants up with multiple shoelaces strung together because the original tie was lost years ago. But his fangirls still stare at him as if he is Adonis reincarnated. You have to admit, he still does look unfairly beautiful like this.

“I'm in lust, Wonie,” you whine while squeezing around his waist as if you can get some of the frustration out that way.

The tall man makes a noise of understanding and pats your head as if you're one of the animals from out back. It actually feels pretty nice so you allow it. “Ah, the firefighter who carried Jun down. They told me you two were eye-fucking.”

“I don't want to eye-fuck him, I want to fuck-fuck him,” you complain, squeezing again.

Wonwoo wheezes a little and forces you to loosen your hold yet doesn't remove you from his body otherwise. “Then text him and arrange a date.”

You freeze, then jerk backwards to look up at him with a gaze so devastatingly heartbroken that Wonwoo immediately cups your face and starts to coo consolingly, even if he isn't sure why you look like your entire world is crumbling down around you.

“I forgot to get his number,” you wail.

Wonwoo's touch stills and his face falls flat, before turning unimpressed. “You're a fucking idiot.”

“I know.”

You know that if it wasn't for the new customer approaching the counter, Wonwoo would go on to tell you all the ways in which you are an idiot, but luckily for your currently very fragile ego, there is a customer, so he turns to take her order and goes back to ignoring you even as you attach to his back like some kind of sad-horny parasite.

For days you mourn the loss of what you have convinced yourself would be the best dick you will never be blessed with.

In this mourning, it does not at all cross your mind to simply ask Seokmin to ask his bestie to hook you up with his co-worker, nor does it cross Seokmin's mind either. It does, however, cross Wonwoo's mind; but the barista is kind of cruel at times and finds other's suffering amusing. Only when it's not serious though because Wonwoo can be a bit of a sadist but he's not an asshole.

Regardless of who does or does not think up the logical solution to your suffering, you continue to suffer for days.

Until you are pretty much handed the perfect opportunity to reunite with your lost lover by genuinely the last person you'd expect.

“Wait, what the fuck did you just say?” You demand, interrupting your brother's words as he talks away to Chan by the counter in an attempt to stop the youngest man from waxing poetic over your eyes, or ass, or maybe even your philtrum; you can never tell with your simp of a neighbour.

“I was telling Chan about the fundraiser I'm helping out with for my friends,” Joshua answers while giving you a long-suffering look; the same look he always wears around Chan because, well, who wants to hear someone blathering on about how hot their sibling is?

“You don't have friends,” you retort without thought.

“More than you,” your twin scoffs and picks up his mug from the counter to sip at happily.

Cats&Coffee doesn't actually offer a drink-in option due to how small the space is, so the mugs on hand are purely for the staff or your friends when they stop by. And Joshua, of course, has his own special mug because he's a pain in your ass, but you love him more than anyone else and let him pretty much do want he wants; include supply a hand painted mug for himself to drink his beverages from at the store. Even if you think it's ugly.

“I'm noona's friend,” Chan points out.

“You're her simp, you don't count,” Joshua corrects.

Chan immediately turns to pout all sad and cute at you. “I'm your simp and friend, right, noona?”

“Of course, Channie,” you coo while reaching over the counter to tap the tip of his nose. The younger beams happily and then sends your twin a smug look. Joshua just rolls his eyes. “What's the fundraiser for?” You ask, wanting to get back to the vital conversation.

“The firehouse-”

“When?” You gawp, leaning over the counter towards your brother with eyes wide.

“Tomorrow. Why the fuck are you looking at me like that? It's terrifying.”

“Ly beautiful. You mean terrifyingly beautiful,” Chan retorts simply without missing a beat before noisily sucking through his straw. Joshua chooses to entirely ignore Chan.

“I'm going,” you declare. “Tomorrow. I'm going to the fundraiser.”

“What? Why?” Joshua gives you a suspicious look.

“There will be a wet t-shirt contest, right?” You ask.

“What the fuck? No! This is a community event to raise funds for the family whose house burned down last week, dumbass. Not a fetish movie.”

“They're called porn, Shua,” you point out while pouting slightly at your horny dreams being broken so ruthlessly.

“So noona won't be in a wet t-shirt contest?” Chan asks, eyes sparkling with the thought.

“I'm leaving,” Joshua decides, picking up his mug to take with him and goes through to the sanctuary looking for a safe haven of his own away from you and Chan.

“Sometimes I think you two should just fuck and get it over with,” Wonwoo declares from where he's perched on the stool a little further down the counter munching away on the doughnuts Chan brought with him twenty minutes ago in an attempt to sweeten you all up and allow him to stay longer.

None of you will ever tell him that he doesn't need to bring treats every time he wants to hang around because truthfully, you are all useless at remembering to bring food to work or restocking the staff room, so Chan is often the only reason any of you eat in the middle of the week.

“I think so too,” Chan agrees wholeheartedly while nodding enthusiastically along.

Wonwoo grins in amusement. He always sticks around when Chan visits because he thinks it's the most entertaining thing ever how obviously obsessed with you the young man is. And, of course, Wonwoo thrives on goading the younger on and often making comments in regard to the one time you and Wonwoo fell into bed together.

Well, not bed exactly; more like over the counter late enough one night that it was really early the next morning. Regardless, Wonwoo likes to theatrically retell certain aspects of your tryst, which you know are exaggerated or entirely fake, just to watch Chan drool at the mental images.

“Ah, but once you've had a taste, you'll be begging for more,” Wonwoo replies dramatically.

“I already beg,” Chan is utterly shameless and it only makes Wonwoo's grin grow. “But I can beg more.” The younger looks at you now, but you're too busy texting Seungkwan to task him with getting all the information possible about the fundraiser the next day.

Chan wants to interrupt and ask you if him begging more is what you want him to do, but you look too focused and he loves it when you've got that serious expression on, so he just sighs dreamily and leans down on his elbows to stare adoringly at you.

Thanks to Seungkwan working his magic, Cats&Coffee snag a last-minute stall at the fundraiser where you, Junhui and Hansol set up all the merchandise left over from previous fundraisers.

Hansol always finds these fundraisers awkward purely because the Cats&Coffee special, limited edition fundraiser merchandise always consists of various items with photos of the men on them; the calendars of the men posing with cats are always a hit and a yearly preorder in November.

Junhui, however, doesn't even blink twice at seeing his own face staring back at him on the reusable travel mugs and keychains.

And Wonwoo happily avoids the stall to run the mini coffee truck a little to the right while pointedly ignoring the sign above him that boasts an old, edited picture of him. You and Seungkwan think Wonwoo looks absolutely precious with cat ears, whiskers and a little bell around his throat as he naps curled up with various cats. And you know the fans customers agree so the sign has remained for the past two years.

Usually, you love doing these fundraisers and get lost in convincing people to buy the merchandise, not that most of them need much convincing, to be honest. But you are rather adept at upselling with a way with words that would have the most skilled of grifters taking note, and you take great pride in it.

Yet today, you can't even enjoy watching Hansol awkwardly accepting payment for a photocard lucky dip that may or not be a little photo of his face, or Wonwoo trying to come up with new ways to discourage yet another of his fangirls from being a fangirl.

You're much more focused on watching the man of your wet dreams where he is giving tours of the fire engine and teaching people the importance of fire safety. You'd say teaching kids if you weren't positive that most of the kids are only standing and listening to him because their parents are there; and it’s very obvious which of the parents are present just to ogle the attractive man and don't give a single flying fuck about the words spilling from his mouth.

“Ohmygod, no, don't,” the familiar voice of your brother breaks you from your thirsting. You turn to look at him where he is standing between the coffee-cart and the gazebo you’re seated under. “Don't tell me you only came today because you've got the hots for Seungcheol.”

“Seungcheol?” You're up on your feet in seconds and grabbing a hold of your brother's weirdly sweaty face. You can't even focus on it; you have much more important matters to attend to. “His name is Seungcheol?”

“No,” Joshua mutters while trying to push your hands away from where you’re squishing his cheeks together into an unattractive pout. But he only has one hand free, the other holding an iced americano in a reusable cup with Seokmin's face on, so he can't really fight you off effectively or back up unless he wants to take a tumble to the gravel with Wonwoo.

“It is! Seungcheol. Man, that's a good name, sounds great. Feels great.”

“Stop it, ew,” he complains, looking genuinely pained at your words.

“Only when you tell me everything about him, but most importantly, is he single?”

“He's my friend, don't.”

“You've fucked my friends; I'm going to fuck yours whether you like it or not.”

Your brother whines wordlessly knowing that you have him beat there. He has definitely had various relations with various friends of yours in the past, and most certainly will again in the future too.

“Ugh, fine,” he concedes while slumping, so you make a happy noise and let him go.

Only now do you pay attention to the sweat on your palms and pull a disgusted face, before wiping them on his t-shirt, though that's not exactly in a much better condition. “Why the fuck are you so sweaty?” You eye him in pure disgust.

“Because Jihoon and I are doing demonstrations.” You give him a questioning look. “Exercise, you know; the thing people do to be healthy?” He rolls his eyes. “The guys asked him to lead a basic exercise demonstration to help encourage healthy habits and he asked me to help, you know, seeing as I'm a personal trainer with him.”

“Oh!” You make a noise of understanding. “Jihoon is your hot colleague.” Then another revelation comes to you and you gasp while hitting his arm a few times. He bats you in return, then pouts as he rubs at the impact spot on his bicep. “He was holding the ladder!”

“What?” Joshua looks at you as if you're crazy. Which, honestly, is a pretty common expression he wears around you or anyone who works at Cats&Coffee, or regularly spends time there.

You really do associate with a top-notch bunch of weirdos.

“The other day Junnie got stuck up a tree so Seokie called his hot bestie, who turns out to be a hot fireman with hot coworkers and the only one who I didn't talk to was Jihoon! I didn't recognise him in his uniform, and he's blond now and grew his hair out?”

“Mm, yeah, looks good right?” He enthuses and you nod. “I'll tell him you said that.”

“Mm sure,” you agree without care. “But back to the important matter here; Chief Seungcheol.” Your eyes are practically burning with how much they glisten at the thought of the buff man currently showing the hose attached to the fire engine.

Man, you wish he'd show you his hose; innuendo emphatically intended.

“I'm so going to regret this but yes, he's single.” Your brother sighs. “And now I know how you two met, I'm guessing you're the woman whose number he forgot to get after eye-fucking her with her friend on his shoulder.”

“Man, that was hot; he could throw me around so-”

“Okay, no, shut up. You're my baby sister, I don't need to hear that,” he complains, backing up with a shake of his head out of the gazebo.

“You're less than an hour older!”

“Can't hear you!” He calls back over his shoulder, already jogging back to his own station across the lot.

You turn to sit back down and happen to notice the Chief himself standing in front of the fire engine and no longer surrounded by visitors, while staring in your direction, with his big arms crossed over his big chest and a dark look in his eyes. You expect him to turn and get back to work, but he tilts his head when your eyes meet; a silent demand before he turns and walks past the huge vehicle and through the staff-only door to enter the firehouse.

“Fellas, I'm going to go get me some dick,” you declare, patting Junhui on the shoulder as you pass him to edge around the table.

“Ask him how to handle his big hose!” Junhui calls without looking up from the keyrings he is rearranging.

Hansol wonders how you two ever manage to run a business when you both always say such things so blatantly in front of customers, but then he notices the young women at the table all fawning over the merchandise obliviously and wonders no longer.

The interior of the firehouse is blessedly cool in comparison to the hot weather outside; even under the gazebo out of the sun's direct glare, you were starting to get a little sweat dappled.

“Hey,” the voice makes you jump slightly and you turn to find Seungcheol leaning back against a dinner table. You take a quick glance around behind him and realise it's the kitchen area. You're standing in the mostly open area of the ground floor, though there's a couch further to your right and you briefly imagine him pinning you down on it.

“Hi, Chief,” you reply while sauntering closer.

“You know Shua?” He asks bluntly, not wanting to beat around the bush. He's pretty certain you both have one thing on your mind based on the way he has noticed you staring him down hungrily for the past two hours.

“He's my brother,” you inform and stop close enough in front of him that the tips of your sandals are almost touching the toes of his clunky uniform boots. You dread to think how hot his feet must be in those.

For a second, you're genuinely disgusted at the thought, but then you notice how his crossed arms bulge and threaten to rip the hems of his sleeves around his biceps and suddenly you don't even know what feet are.

“You're his twin?” He gawps, arms dropping to his sides in disbelief and crushing disappointment.

You hum with a nod and pout a little at the lack of bulging biceps in your vision. But then you realise you can now see his pecs stretching out the black material and you're happy again.

“Stop,” he mutters and reaches up to physically tilt your head up so that you're no longer blatantly checking him out with heavy eyes. “You know your brother is pretty much my best friend, right?” He genuinely looks pained. “I can't fuck you.”

“Yes, you can.” You smirk and step closer, pressing your palms to his chest. You can feel him inhale deeply when you make a home for yourself against him, your thighs locked between each other's and so close to applying pressure exactly where you both want it. “He's essentially given his blessing.”

“He has?” He doesn't fully believe you; that doesn't sound like the Joshua he knows, but he's a weak-ass man when it comes to you. Literally, he already decided he'd do some insane things from the moment he first saw your ass while he was checking you out in the fire engine the other day.

So he lifts his hands to initially settle on your hips but they very quickly, almost immediately, slide down to settle in your back pockets. Not quite touching you up but pretty fucking close.

“Mm, well, blessing isn't the right word. I told him that he's fucked enough of my friends that he has no say in which of his friends I fuck.”

“Do you plan to fuck any of his other friends?” He raises an eyebrow and tugs you a little closer.

“He doesn't have any friends,” you retort and he huffs a short laugh. “Just Jihoon, right? I mean, he does look really fucking good blond so-”

“Don't you dare finish that sentence, princess,” Seungcheol mutters darkly, almost glaring at you in warning. You bite back a grin. “So I'll ask again; do you plan to fuck any of Shua's other friends?”

“Depends on if you disappoint me or not, doesn't it, Chief?” You tease while winding your arms around his neck with a playful smile.

“You're never going to want to fuck anyone else when I'm done with you.”

“That bad, huh?” His face drops. It takes everything in you to not crack up laughing. “Going to put me off sex in general?”

“Shua's right; you're a fucking brat.”

“Mm, yeah,” you confirm shamelessly and press against him entirely. “Kinda think you're into it though, Chief.”

“Is that going to be a thing? Calling me Chief? Or do you just not know my name?” He wonders, head tilting a little and one arm wrapping tight around your waist, while his thigh between yours pushes up between your legs making your eyes light up with joy.

Finally you have him.

“I know your name, but shouldn't I call the boss by his title?” You coo faux-innocently.

“"I'm the boss, huh?” You nod and he smirks. “Damn fucking right, baby.”

Seungcheol doesn't wind up pinning you to the couch, not right away at least. He does, however, take you upstairs to the office and bend you over the desk until you have bruises in the shape of his hands on your hips and nothing but his name on your tongue.

And as it turns out; he was right. You never want to fuck anyone but him again.

A/N- I know this reads like it should end in smut and I did intend to write it but I'm very certain I would not do the vibes justice, I'm so out of practice with smut. But maybe in the future? But if you want some good smut, go read sluttywoozi's stuff fr, you will not be disappointed

Anyway, I hope you liked, please let me know what you think& reblog!

[ferie-anon]

Things moon signs have done or said

*Based on my experiences, may or may not be true to everyone 🥸*

🐏Aries moon: I’ll always be praying on people’s downfall *them constantly when someone offends them*

🐂Taurus moon: the concerned one when their friends describe their chaotic life or decisions

“Interesting but are you okay? I don’t think that’s a good idea”

👯‍♀️Gemini moon: mentions something random to their friend in the middle of conversation of what they saw online or remembered from another day

Or enlightens their friend with random knowledge or info in the middle

🦀Cancer moon: embarrasses themselves* its ok! I’m fine at least *dies internally*

*also has the most relatable reactions and moods irl*

🦁Leo moon: I love life! *Next minute* I hate life. Let me recharge I need to do self care.

👸Virgo moon: Plays it cool after having a internal meltdown over catching feelings, worrying about their work and holding it all together. If their friend asks them if they're okay, they'll say yes and then no.

Virgo moon: "I'm actually not fine, but I looked like everything's normal right?"

⚖️Libra moon: uses doja cat, nicki minaj, pop culture memes on presentation slides and gives daily tea and update on their crushes

🖤Scorpio moon: I don’t need anyone by my side. Also them lowkey: “I want someone who can show affection and respects me, whys it so hard getting someone loyal, passionate, and shows love without me asking 🙄” *Also them when someone wants to be with them* Scorpio moon: "Not you."

🏹Sag moon: I know this is a bad idea but I’m still gonna do it and see if it is as bad as it seems :o

*Does it* Sag moon: Nevermind this was a very bad decision, why did I do it 💀🥸

🐐Capricorn moon: Calmly thinking and then comes up with goofy jokes or stories, ranges from dorky relatable jokes to dad jokes

⚡️Aqua moon: *someone texts them asking how they are after 2 weeks of being on seen* Sorry I forgot to reply, I thought I replied but it was in my head 🥸. "Oops."

🐠Pisces moon: I can’t help but get really emotional over a lot of things, people, animals, and my own self.

Pisces moon: If only I could resolve all of these feelings 🥺

[nickssidewitch]

👾🕹️ List of Games the Triplets Should Play if They Stream Again 🕹️👾

Can y’all share this everywhere if you like my list because I’m sick of Fortnite-only streams and I damn well do not want to constantly see Roblox…

Obviously no hate to Fortnite because yass kings grind 😤💪🏾‼️. But like… let’s switch it up a lil’ bit, boys. Get sexy idk.

Horror🔪

💉 Outlast: Horror. Thee scariest game on this list!!! Great story, but even if you’re not interested in the story, the gameplay is interesting and nostalgic. May be a bit jumpscare-y at times. Not too much gore, but enough to make the spine tingle.

🧸 Five Nights at Freddy’s: Horror. Honestly, I highly doubt they’d actually play this because it’s probably the second scariest game on this list and they don’t seem like they could handle it. But, a one-off stream of this game would be nice idk. If they do, I’d suggest the first and second ones because they are good, Otherwise, the third one is ass, and the fourth one is way too scary. The other installments are forgettable (no shade 🥱).

🌙 Little Nightmares: (Mild) Horror. One of my personal favorite games. Right amount of scares, but definitely nothing like Outlast or FNAF. The main character is literally the cutest little thing!

🌺 Poppy Playtime: Horror. Similar to FNAF in the sense that you’re in a world where childhood characters come to life wnd become murderous villains, but the story is incredibly unique and eye-catching. There are a few Gaming YouTuber surprises in there as well.

🩸 Fears to Fathom series: Horror. This series is an indie gaming community favorite! Real-life people sent in submissions of their actual true experiences, and the developer made each story into actual games! I love the simple retro feel of the design, and the stories are very intriguing especially since they are all true stories.

🧟‍♂️ The Walking Dead: Horror, Story, Action, Adventure, Apocalyptic. The hype for this game never dies (imo)! Matt would absolutely fall in love with this story and its characters!! I feel like it would definitely cement his love for TWD as a whole. And if he ever played the Michonne DLC?? omg. Someone get this man to play TWD! Chris and Nick would love it too I feel.

Story 📖

📸 Life Is Strange: Story. A story-based decision game series. You play as young adults who have special powers that develop through difficult life experiences. Each game delves into different aspects of sexuality, love, mental health, and other real-life experiences. I’d like if they played only the first one, but the other games are also pretty cool if they like the first story.

🌄 Until Dawn: Horror, Story. A story-based decision game set u like a classic “cabin in the woods” thriller… with a twist. There’s a new remake as well, so that adds a bonus point to the overall enjoyment and the hype of the experience.

🤖 Detroit Become Human: Story, Sci-Fi. I know the hype for this game is gone, but I need it! The world is set in the future where robots and androids roam the Earth amongst humans. It’s such a great story with great graphics. And every single one of the choices matter. I feel like they’d genuinely enjoy it if they immersed in it.

😷 The Last of Us: Horror, Sci-fi, Story. It’s the game that inspired the TV show. I personally think the game is better than the show, but I digress. Great story, the best characters with such various traits.

🐈 Stray: Adventure, Sci-fi, Puzzle. (This is more for Matt than anyone else lowkey highkey). You play as a stray cat, but it’s more than just a cat simulator— it’s a journey set in the future. Everyone, but especially Matt, would love this. Very great graphics. Pretty calm, but can definitely get the heart racing at times. Will pull at the heartstrings.

Miscellaneous 👾

🍄 Mario Kart / Mario Party: Multiplayer, Party. This is a given 🤷🏾‍♀️

☠️ Dead By Daylight: Multiplayer, Horror. When Nick’s computer is finally fixed, they can all play together and probably even get some friends (or play online).

💎 The Sims: Simulation. Honestly, this can be like a game they play ironically. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I just wanna see them argue about how to customize their characters.

🌚 Among Us: Multiplayer. They’ve played it before both online and with fans, but I’d love if they played some rounds that were more organized with real-life friends and maybe even their mods/subscribers on Twitch!

🔫 Call of Duty (any of them): Shooter, Action. Literally just wanna see how good they are since they were flexing in that one stream they did a while back. 😒 Like where’s the proof?

🤺 Mortal Kombat: Fighting, Action. Any of the recent additions. I don’t need Story Mode if they don’t care to know the lore! I just wanna see them beat tf outta each other 🤫 ! Nick playing as Mileena would be a gag! 🤷🏾‍♀️

🦸🏻‍♂️ Injustice 2: Fighting, DC Universe. It’s similar to Mortal Kombat, but just set in the DC universe with characters like Batman, Harley Quinn, etc. I think made by the same developers as MK? Wanna see them beat each other up.

🎰 Liar’s Bar: Multiplayer, Gambling (not actually, but—). You play as up to four characters. You get cards in your hands. It’s up to you whether you play truthfully, or lie and place whatever cards you want all without getting caught. And if you get caught, now you gotta survive a round of russian roulette. It’s actually so fun for a few rounds if you have a good party.

Please share this across platforms! I’d love that! I really wanna see them at least try some things from this list. It’d make my little gamer heart so happy 😭 And I’m sure the other fans who like videogames as well would agree.

And I’m sure the boys would definitely appreciate the ideas since they seem open to them. 🥰🤍

[crownedhades]

talking about killer sans again. and szpd.

this is part 2 to this post that i made a bit ago. please read it before this one, otherwise you will not understand a damn thing. thank you kindly.

also i will be mentioning color again lol. you can probably guess what my favorite dynamic is by now.

.°• ੈ♡₊˚•.

now, before we begin, i would like to further empathize why i don't actually think killer has szpd. he has many traits that simply disprove the possibility.

hes an emotional train wreck whenever hes not surpressing them (phase 1)

but also because he Misses People and Misses His Old Self

schizoids do not miss people. its rather uncommon and fairly rare.

it is specifically noted here in this comic drawn by rahafwabas that he wants to be sans again, he wants to return to his old self, and that he hates what he has become.

this comic clearly depicts traits that disprove the possibility of him being schizoid. sure, whatever, hes trying to supress his emotions even now, but only because hes a delusional idiot (the comic is about him thinking that he Has to listen to the player) that color had to knock some sense into.

so, at most, if youre really depserate to tie szpd to this kid, then he might have "schizoid tendencies," aka schizoid coping mechanisms. but never the actual disorder.

if you want another reason why hes not schizoid,, take this comic drawn by rahafwabas.

yes, schizoids can dissociate from reality where things start to feel Unreal. but.

in this comic, shortly after petting the cats snd notices dream, he almost immediately gets up and goes over to dream. almost out of subtle desperation.

this would probably not happen with an actual schizoid. we would be far too "get away from me" to walk over to dream and squeeze his face or whatever. why would we even touch someone like that, also?

not only that! but the title of his timeline is "something new" based on his desire to feel something new, a new emotion, when hes not supressing. schizoids have no desire to feel anything much less something new.

emotions, to many schizoids, are a threat to us. theyre unsafe and lead to illogical decisions that we resent.

illogical decisions? such as the one comic (that i dont have saved this time) drawn by rahafwabas where killer was tied choosing between color and nightmare. killer, if he was truly schizoid, would never feel conflicted. if i, a schizoid, were in his shoes, i would have cut off both color and nightmare for having the audacity to force me to have an emotional reaction.

of course, that comic is far more complicated than just that, but you get what im saying, right? right? hes not schizoid!

.°• ੈ♡₊˚•.

but now on to me comparing him to schizoids aka myself bc i relate to him 😋

theres this specific comic that i reblogged that i heavily resonate with, at least when it comes to my own relationships with people.

now, keep in mind, what i am about to talk about i feel absolutely nothing for. at most i might feel irritated, confused, or bewildered. its not a vent, just reasons why i relate to killer.

i am a schizoid that is not entirely repulsed by the idea of having friends and long-lasting connections. especially since i am a schizoid that is trying (struggling) to achieve remission.

but it becomes difficult when i begin opening up about my disorder since not everyone understands it, especially if i open up later on into a friendship rather than being clear about it right at the start.

mostly when it comes to how i feel about people. i hold very little, almost zero attachment to even friends i have known for years. it does not bother me whether or not they are or aren't in my life. i am fully indifferent to the possibility of i or them leaving. the second i deem someone unsafe or a waste of time, i cut them out of my life.

which is a problem to people who are emotional and hold strong attachments.

imagine you have a friend that you love spending time with. they always know the right things to say to you and theyre just your best friend overall. now imagine they start opening up about a disorder, claiming that their feelings for you is not mutual and they care little about the sentimental times you have spent together.

that has to hurt, right? at least thats what people have told me. that my lack of feeling or attachment to them hurts, even if i prioritize them above everyone else that i know. even if i tell them everything they want to hear.

i feel like this hits home with killer and the people that care about him. sure, there are moments where he genuinely cares, but phase 2 and beyond he just... doesn't. in redemption stories phase 2 and up might logically deem the person to be a priority, someone he is obligated to be around, but its not like he actually feels anything for them.

phase 1, of course, would love color as a friend and companion more than anyone else in the world. color is his other half, the only person who is willing to put up with his emotional variations and bullshit.

sure, there are stories and interpretations where color gets exhausted and tired of killer's... everything, but the community has made their connection undeniable.

now, i do not understand the concept of queer platonic partners, but i do try to understand it. and i kind of think that the concept of qpp fits killer and color. i dont see them as having romantic feelings for each other, but i do think they would be very close to the possibility.

qpp or safety person, color is the first person to have ever successfully reach killer and his unstable heart. the first person to look past the villain killer depicts himself to be and just... sees killer for himself. his true self.

.°• ੈ♡₊˚•.

if you look up posts on reddit about schizoids, you may notice that reddit schizoids are overt heavy, meaning that they are unlikely to mimic others to blend in. at most they might try to act normal in professional settings.

now on tumblr, it is covert heavy, where mimicking and schizoids having connections outside of work is a bit more common. sure, they still talk about dropping people in a snap, but theyre simply more... willing to try. not everyone, of course.

universally, i have noticed, is that anger is the most common emotion that schizoids feel.

there is this post specifically that i have reblogged where a user is talking about how annoyed he gets with other people.

now, killer would not avoid confrontation like we would. so he does not relate to schizoid in this manner. but i do find comfort in the fact that killer would do everything that i would not. he is a source of feeling anger freely and shitting on people in my head, or imagining him just going... beserk because someone pissed him off.

i really like it when killer is angry. i like it when he is violent and just... acts on his hatred. his determination. i like it when hes not supressing anything. i like it when hes uncontrollable and purely unpredictable, like a rabid animal that wants to destroy what it loathes.

theres a deep sense of satisfaction that i feel from it. a man who is nothing more than a walking paradox. where on one hand he supresses his emotions as much as he can, but on the other hand theres a part of him that relishes in the chaos that he creates. where he hurts people. where he doesnt care about the consequences of his actions, he just does whatever he wants.

where he defends his autonomy and independence. where he doesnt give a flying fuck what nightmare does or says to him.

killer will do what he wants even if it means he has to fight for his freedom til his very last breath. even if it means dying because nightmare has lost use for killer, or realizes that killer wont be some stupid rag doll for him to manipulate like chara/the player did to killer.

this is the version or interpretation of killer that i like. a version where gaslighting and guilt tripping doesnt work because he doesnt care. where even if nightmare would blackmail or threaten other peoples lives, killer continues to not care about anything but his own freedom.

.°• ੈ♡₊˚•.

i might make a part 3, i dont know.

this is literally just me rambling about killer. there is no coherent consistency and i do not plan for it to be orderly or consistent.

i am just dumping whatever first comes to mind.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Diabolical 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, violence, extreme profanity, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Billy Butcher

Summary: your neighbours has some strange friends.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Down-trodden. That’s a good word to use. One you’d find in a particularly eloquent novel. It’s how you feel. Caught in the rain, missed your connection, and walking six blocks just to get back to your building. Down-trodden, defeated, and deflated. 

You come up to the door of your building, trying to unhook the end of your key from the ring. Before you can get a handle on things, the door flies open and you barely move out of its way. Your keys hit the ground and a dark figure swoops to snatch them up. Not him. 

That man stands, the loud one, the rude one, and jangles your keys. You reach for them and he keeps them just out of your grasp. You frown and rescind your arm. 

“Sir, please--” 

“Well, ain’t you the cat the river washed up,” he snickers. “Look at ya. Down-right sad, ain’t ya? What’s a matter? Did the sun not shine at ya majesty’s order?” 

“Sir,” you snip. “I am not in the mood--” 

“Are ya ever, love?” He chortles again, dangling the keys higher. 

“I’m asking nicely, please, give me my keys.” You make yourself as big as you can but still feel tiny before him. 

“Please and...” he drawls. 

“Thank you,” you try to grab the keys, hopping to snag them, but he manages to evade you. You huff, embarrassed at your own effort. 

“Ain’t that cute. Look much smaller out here without them walls to hide behind, Don’t ya?” He twirls the ring around his finger. 

You look away and frown, “look, I apologise. It was never meant to offend you. I only hoped you might have some consideration and not make so much noise. I was mistaken to think you could care.” 

“Ah, now, you’re gonna make me feel bad,” he taunts. 

You turn to him and shrug. What more can you say or do? His smirk fades just a little and his dark brows draw together. He clears his throat and lowers his hand. 

“’ere ya go then.” He offers them. 

Cautiously you reach out. Your hand closes around them, brushing his fingers, and he lets you have them. Warily, you pull back. 

“Was only playin’,” he winks. “Lookit, I’ll even be a gentleman and hold the door for ya.” He moves out of the way and keeps his hand on the door, “there ya are, proper queen, then.” 

You don’t know if he’s mocking you still or not. More likely he is. You hold your tongue. You just want to be done with today and him. You’re only recourse is to ignore him. It might get him off your back. You can handle a bit of shouting in the hall. 

You step forward and pass him. He looms, bouncing on his heels, and you hurry as you approach the stairs, “eh, never saw ya from behind. Not half bad.” 

He cackles before he lets the door go and it slams at his departure. You cringe. You should have expected something. You carry on up the staircase and keep your head down as you near your apartment. 

You go inside and toss the keys. You drop your bag as you kick off your shoes and traipse around to the kitchen. You put on the kettle and plant your elbows on the counter. 

The buyer didn’t take as much as you negotiated but you couldn’t say no. You had to take what they offered. It’s enough, but you were hoping for more. You did the repair just as they wanted but everyone’s always changing the terms. No one listens to you. Just like that man! You’re tired of feeling so helpless. 

And why does he have to be so crass? Why did he have to humiliate you like that? You dropped your keys and he couldn’t just let you have them. No, he had to make you perform like some puppet. Oh and then he had to be sure you know how nice he is. 

You don’t think you hate him; you just hate how people treat you. You pride yourself on being polite, on being empathetic as best as you can, on making yourself as little as possible so you’re not in the way. The one time you speak up for yourself and it backfires. Well, you won’t be doing that again. 

[nightcolorz]

What would the book characters think if they meet their show counterparts?

I think book Lestat wouldn't like show Lestat at all but he'll have the hots for everyone on the show immediately

Book Daniel would be in shock that his show version is old in human years, that's like, his worst nightmare, he'd have a mental breakdown over it, meanwhile book Armand would love to know show Armand held on so long before giving Daniel the dark gift and his beloved got to live a full life before becoming a vampire

Book Armand would also obsess about show Armand's adult body

Book and show Louis would NOT get on, show Louis would just not stop going "A WHITE MAN???" He would also call the book version boring (and dull, and beige pillow like...)

I loooooveeee this question I actually think about this all the time 😭😭. So so hilarious to me I want to put the book characters and the show characters in a cage match.

I think Show Louis would hate book Louis bcus book Louis is like the embodiment of his flaws in a way 💀💀 he’s like everything bad about show Louis in 4K. Show Louis reacts to book Louis the way he’d react to the Christmas carol ghosts showing him all his fuck ups. What’s funny to me about the race change is that show Louis’s ancestors were slave owners, and if he was born in the 1700s he’d likely have been a slave owner, so meeting wet cat book Louis who is him if he was just a little bit older and way whiter and realizing how terrible he is would be a mind fuck. It’d be like meeting his shitty great great great grandfather who also has his same taste in poetry. On the other hand I think book Louis would be equally as aghast by show Louis being a pimp as show Louis is about book Louis being a slave owner 😭. Book Louis’s moral problems r largely religion based and I think he’d be confused and startled by how little catholic purity standards matter to show Louis 💀. But book Louis is also very polite and southernly passive aggressively pleasant and soft spoken to strangers so I think any kind of altercation that could occur would be very one sided 💀. Show louis is like wtf wtf is this what is wrong with u and book Louis is reading his book silently and frowning.

if book Daniel met show Daniel he’d instantly go into cardiac arrest and die from agony before show Daniel could give him the older self “don’t do drugs u wild youth” inspirational talk. Exactly what u said 💀 its so funny that they made show Daniel old bcus of how afraid book Daniel is of growing old

And YES on all the Armand thoughts loolll. I feel like book Armand and show Armand r the only book vs show characters that would get along. I think book Armand would be veryyy envious of show Armand 😭 bcus show Armand is Book Armand if he was morally stronger, made decisions more soundly and kindly, was an adult, and had giant pecks. He’d would definitely be star struck over how show Armand didn’t turn Daniel until he was an old man and he’d probably go into a insecure self hating spiral from seeing his (perceived) stronger and better and sexier au self. I think also, show Armand would be very kind to book Armand. I get the impression that as a teenager show Armand did look and act more like book Armand does, and he’d react sort of like “this is me if things went more wrong and I was still the teenager that haunts me, look at him hes trying his best” I think show Armand would admire book Armand’s endurance and his self sufficiency (that show Armand doesn’t have) and be kind of like, well if tiny cherub me can live like this maybe I can to. But I think the key to the Armand’s getting along better then the other characters would would be how both Armand’s r so mentally ill and so existential and religious that talking to some alternate version of themselves would not phase them and probably would be like common occurrence of the week 💀

Show lestat and book lestat would hate fuck 💀l think book Lestat would go into a “you hurt my Louis 😰 JAIL jail for 100000 years” spiral, but then eventually get himself together and be like “yknow what I also am evil and have problems who am I to judge” and he’d remember that he is super attracted to men who look like him but are older and smarter and start stripping immediately. I think both lestats would be mad about seeing their flaws reflected in each other and express that by crazy self cest fucking and then lie on the floor together doing each others eyeliner and crying

thank u for the ask this is my favorite thing lol

[potatoqueenpal]

Yall I'm SO SORRY for dipping on you I have no ideas and I'm still fighting to get my avior fic back.

Have filler till I think of more angst

I present to you: Shaw Pack and Mates: Incorrect quotes

Sam, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Sweetheart : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Baabe: I personally was created in a lab.

Angel: I just straight up spawned.

Sam: We call that a traumatic experience.

Sam, turning to Baabe: Not a "bruh moment".

Sam, turning to Angel: Not "sadge".

Sam, turning to Sweetheart : And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Asher: Knock, knock.

Baabe: Who's there?

Asher: Boo!

Baabe: Boo who?

Asher: Why are you crying?

Baabe: I'm not crying.

Asher: Hello notcrying, I'm Asher.

Milo: Angel, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?

Angel: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?

Milo: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

David: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Milo: I photosynthesize with this.

Sweetheart: I’m this close to falling in love with Milo.

Asher: Your fingertips are touching.

Sweetheart: Exactly.

Asher, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Sweetheart : I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Baabe, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Asher, spraying Sweetheart : You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Sweetheart : Dude, I forgot-

Asher: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Sam: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

Asher: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

David, turning to Darlin': How tall are you?

Angel: Sam said its my turn with the brain cell.

Asher: Square up.

Sam: And what do we say when someone refuses your offer?

Sweetheart : Suck it, boomer!

Sam: I don't know who "Boomer" is, but no.

Asher: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

Baabe: I think my guardian angel drinks.

David: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Milo: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Asher: I got distracted halfway through.

Darlin': Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Asher: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived!

Sam: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Asher?

Asher: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market-

*police sirens start to wail in the background*

Sam: DID YOU ROB A BANK?!

Asher: Oh, come on, Sam, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face*

Sam:

Asher: …it was a credit union.

Angel: Tell them to eat shit, David.

David: Tell them yourself.

Angel: Eat shit, asshole. Fall of your horse.

Milo, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Darlin': Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Darlin': Here you go.

Milo:

Darlin':

Baabe: Why am I here?

Angel: Guess what I'm about to get!

David: On my nerves.

Sweetheart : That's a nice arguement, Milo Why don't you back it up with a source?

Milo: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

Sam: Aww, what's your cat's name?

Milo: Aggro.

Sam, yelling to Baabe: TRY AGGRO!

Baabe, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Milo:

Sam: What's your favorite number?

Angel: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Angel*

Angel: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

Angel: I've connected the two dots.

David: You didn't connect shit.

Angel: I've connected them.

And now, wholesome (amd flirty) ship incoreect quotes:

｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･

David : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Angel: It was autocorrect.

David : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Angel: Yes.

Angel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

David : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Angel: I said within reason, David . How about I murder that guy?

David : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Angel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Angel: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

David : I have a gun on that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Angel: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

David : Nope, there's 26.

Angel: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

David : Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Angel: So give me the D.

Angel: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

David : ...Have you never taken a shower before?

David, sweating: Angel, there’s something I need to ask you-

Angel: Finally! You’re proposing!

David: How’d you know?

Angel: David, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Angel: I even picked it up once.

David: I want to kiss you.

Angel, not paying attention: What?

David: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Baabe: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Asher: Wow. They sound stupid.

Baabe: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Asher: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Baabe: I guess you’re right. Hey Asher, I love you.

Asher: See! Just say that!

Baabe: Holy fucking shit.

Asher: If that flies over their head then, sorry Baabe, but they're too dumb for you.

Baabe: Asher.

Baabe: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Asher: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Baabe: Seize the dick.

Asher: We have a problem.

Baabe: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Baabe: I'm trash.

Asher: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Baabe:

Baabe: You smooth motherfucker.

Baabe: And yes it does.

Asher: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Baabe: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Asher: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Baabe: I wrote you a poem.

Asher, already crying: You did?

Milo: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Sweetheart : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Milo: I fell—

Sweetheart : From heaven?

Milo: No, I literally fell—

Sweetheart : In love with me the moment you saw me?

Milo: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Sweetheart : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Milo: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Sweetheart : AS ENEMIES?!

Milo:

Milo walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sweetheart , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Sweetheart , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Sweetheart : I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Milo: That's great, Sweetheart . Especially considering the fact we've been together for 6 fucking years.

Sweetheart : I’m in love with you.

Milo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Sweetheart : I know.

Milo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Sweetheart: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Milo: What- how?

Sweetheart: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

Milo: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Sweetheart is? Because Sweetheart is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Sam: The stars are so beautiful...

Darlin': They're just giant balls of gas.

Sam: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Darlin': And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Sam: Oh...

Darlin': Wow, Sam, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Sam: We literally slept together yesterday.

Darlin': That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Sam: I love you.

Darlin', not paying attention: What was that?

Sam: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Darlin': Well, Sam and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Darlin': That's right... We kissed!

Darlin': What are you in the mood for?

Sam: World domination.

Darlin': That's a bit ambitious.

Sam: You are my world.

Darlin': Aww...

Sam:

Darlin':

Sam:

Darlin': OH.

Darlin': I have feelings for you.

Sam: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Waiter: What would you like?

Darlin': Bring a milkshake with two straws.

Sam: *blushes*

Darlin': *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!

Darlin': You got a date yet Sam?

Sam: No...

Darlin': Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Darlin': Are we fighting or flirting?

Sam: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Darlin': Your point?

Darlin': I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Sam: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Darlin': O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Sam: Is it working?

Sam: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Darlin': …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sam: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Darlin': Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Darlin': Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Sam: Marry me.

Darlin': This date is boring!

Sam: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Darlin': Then why did you invite me?

Sam: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sam I'll do whatever I want!

(This is long as fuuuuck and took me a good hour, but it was fun)

[neousfics]

Somewhere In Time is Literally Edwin/Charles, and here's why:

Just rewatched the movie Somewhere In Time because I thought it might work for a Paynland fic and holy fucking shit you guys it's perfect in every way. Charles is so Richard Collier coded and Edwin is so Elise McKenna coded it's not even funny. And the time periods are perfect???? Collier is literally from the late 70s/80s and time travels back to 1912???

Also William Robinson as the Cat King? Be still my beating heart.

(Spoilers for a movie from the 80s ig)

If you're unfamiliar with the plot, Somewhere In Time is about a playwright, Richard Collier, who, after being given a pocket watch by an old lady on the day of her death, begins to suspect that not only is it possibly to travel back in time, but he has already done it. He learns that the old lady used to be a beautiful young actress named Elise McKenna. He eventually manages to travel back in time, they fall in love only for him to accidentally get yanked back to the future just as they've begun to plan their life together. He dies from grief a week later and the two reunite in the afterlife.

Here are some scenes/dialogue that I think are so Edwin/Charles coded it hurts:

Collier (AKA Charles) decides to literally abandon his life and timeline after literally one (1) interaction with this lady + a pretty picture of her he saw in the museum section of a hotel and Charles would absolutely (and kinda did) do the same

McKenna (AKA Edwin) spent the rest of her life never giving up on finding Collier even though they were only together for a couple days. In her youth she's described as "quick and bright, fun, strong, and willful" but after he disappears she is described as "kind and thoughtful but too much within herself, like she was empty somehow" and you CANNOT tell me that does not sound like our favorite Edwardian boy

When Collier prepares to go to the past he picks out a time-appropriate suit, but when he gets there everyone keeps telling him its hella out of fashion and he is so offended 10/10, very Charles

I can practically hear Paynland saying this dialogue:

"Your occupation?"

“I’m a playwright.”

“A playwright.” (mad bitchiness in this line delivery)

“No, no I’m not here because of that!”

“Hm. And you say you know everything about me?”

“Well, yes.”

“Which is patently absurd. You couldn’t possibly know everything about me. We’ve never met. You’re a complete stranger to me.

“But then why did you ask, 'Is it you?'” (she asked this when they met the first time)

“I don’t have to answer that.”

“I know you don’t. I wish you would, though.”

When Collier asks McKenna to call him by his first name she hits him with the "Why should I?" and this doe-eyed fool says "I don't know. I just hoped you would."

Collier is terrified of the idea that McKenna would be afraid of him which is just so Charles like damn

When Collier tries to shave his face with the old-fashioned razor he does an absolutely terrible job, gets a bunch of cuts, and leaves shaving cream on his face and McKenna takes one look at him and decides this idiot is the man she's going to love forever

Their first kiss is actually the sexiest shit ever in this show like damn why they pulling up so hard in some random movie 40 years ago. ANYway when Collier touches McKenna's face and slowly leans in to kiss her she says in this breathy, barely heard whisper "Oh my God. I don't know what's happening." Which is very Edwin to me

When McKenna's manager gets too pushy about her romantic decisions she says "I am involved with you as an actress, Mr. Robinson. Not a doormat. Do not attempt to wipe your boots on me." okay Edwin

When McKenna is performing in the play (which is a comedy) she goes off script and starts dramatically monologuing all her inner thoughts about loving Collier while looking at him in the audience which Mr. "I know were in hell but I need to tell you I'm in love with you" Payne would definitely do

This is the monologue btw:

“The man of my dreams is almost faded now. The one I have created in my mind. The sort of man each woman dreams of in the deepest most secret reaches of her heart. I can almost see him now before me. What would I say to him if he were really here? Forgive me. I’ve never known this feeling. I’ve lived without it all my life. Is it any wonder that I failed to recognize you? You brought it to me for the first time. Is there any way that I can tell you how my life has changed? Any way at all to let you know the sweetness you have given me? There is so much to say. I cannot find the words except for these: I love you.”

"Are you alright?" "Yes" "I thought I lost you." "Never. Never, never, never."

The morning after they have sex she hits him with the "You will marry me, won't you?" And makes him choke on his food then immediately goes "You won't?!?!" without even waiting for him to respond

"I want to be everything to you." "You are."

This dialogue:

“The first thing I intend to do for you–”

“You’ve already done.”

“Well, the second thing.”

“What?”

“Buy you a new suit.”

“I don’t understand. Nobody seems to like my suit.”

“Oh can you blame them?”

“I think my suit is terrific. So what if it’s 10 years old?”

“At least 15.”

Collier just up and dying as soon as he gets back because he's so distressed at the thought of living without her he goes into a dissociative fit and doesn't eat for a weak is so Charles

If you made it this far, I commend you because I'm pretty sure I sound like an insane person and I don't even know if any of you have seen this movie but for the love of God I had to tell someone

Who knows, maybe I'll write a Somewhere In Time AU Paynland fic, or perhaps I'll just sit here and desperately hope that someone else will do it

[translucio]

more veilguard thoughts! minor spoilers below cut

stuff im liking:

still having fun with combat

level design has been good, tons to explore, solid puzzles. beautiful environments. im liking how distinct and lived in the big cities are feeling.

i am liking lucanis more than i expected.....i know Everyone is simping over him but.. i might have to as well and romance him instead of bellara 🙈

im liking how bite sized the codex entries are. makes it easy to read them all on pickup whereas in inquisition sometimes it was like godddd i want the lore but i dont wanna read five pages right now

petting cats and dogs! i love the haptic purring, that's a really good way to do it (i would honestly love to see that polished even further with variations + meowing/whining/sniffing/licking sounds thru the controller but hey, it's a tiny part of the game and what they have is fine)

the resource economy is feeling pretty decent to me, im motivated to seek out collectables, i buy stuff from vendors often, i understand the upgrade system enough to inform my decisions. it feels very god of war or ghost of tsushima. so my only worry is that i might just get bored of it after many hours as i did in those games (which, i think the solution to that is for the level design to keep things interesting and satisfying enough that theyre rewarding even without the collectibles. so we'll see)

stuff im not really liking

overall plot so far feels Just Okay. but i felt that way about 2 and inquisition too lol

it is actually starting to really bum me out that you can't talk to people at will. like, the lack of dialogue choices in it, for a bioware game, is troubling to me. these settings and characters are interesting and filling me with many questions! i want to be able to dive deeper into them, but i just cant. you just get barks for all the world npcs. and the lack of choices really makes rook feel more like a prewritten/predestined character rather than one that's really yours to characterize. i realize it's a lot of writing and voice acting $$ to have that many dialogues, but that's one of the main selling points for bioware games for me... and it feels weird that other games are now doing it better than dragon age.

similarly the lack of continuity of choices from previous games makes me sad.

i still haven't gotten all that far, but i am several hours in at this point, and i gotta say i am kinda missing side quests a bit... related to the point about lacking world dialogue, but the world is feeling a little bit underwhelming in terms of the character and lore context/depth that i find myself wanting. which was a big problem for me in inquisition as well. like sure, there are collectables and hidden paths and puzzles to navigate through, and those are absolutely a huge improvement over inquisition's. but those don't give life and flavor and narrative depth to the environment the way that having meaningful interactions with npcs does. the barks are nice, but they leave me wanting significantly more in terms of interaction and depth.

im gonna keep comparing it to god of war (2018 - haven't played ragnarok yet) since that's really the closest thing its reminding me of. and while i loved god of war, i did feel like its world was very lonely. it made up for it with its extremely honed in narrative focus on the journey of the two established characters, and the quality of its writing and voice acting both for their dialogues and the few quests with other characters. it's not a game about the setting or how it shapes the characters that live there, it's about a grieving father and son who happen to be gods.

whereas dragon age IS about its world almost as much as it is about its characters. and with such a rich setting with three prior entries to build on, it seems kind of a shame to let players explore all these places we've heard about but not meaningfully interact with the characters there outside of Big Epic Story Moments or companion-focused quests, especially when you could in the previous games.

anyway.... much to think about... still enjoying it, still have more thoughts as i keep playing

[liltalle]

Sorting A Practical Guide to Evil - Sorting Hat Chats

This web serial is one of my favorite stories of all time, and it's all about differing perspectives on morality and the effectiveness of different methods—perfect for SHC. (The premise is a girl of the heroic mold joining up under the Dread Empire to help her people when all the attempted heroes have failed—reminiscent of Baru Cormorant if anyone's read that.)

I've had sorting notes in my back pocket for years, and it's high time I put them out into the world. I don't know how many people here are still into it, it's still live if anyone wants to try it, but there will be spoilers below. The basics of the sorting system are explained here, archetypes reference found here.

Catherine Foundling - Badger Lion. The Dark Protagonist sorting, I love it. Cat is very clear that her loyalty is to Callow, and a core theme of the story could be described as the lengths Loyalists are willing to go for what's theirs, how they shed Idealist restraints, and how they discover that sometimes playing nice is actually the practical way to get what they want. Cat is contrasted early on with William, who at least performs Lion, with his naive idealism about the ideal of Callow, the King, the banners, "freedom". Cat insists that it's about the people and their well-being, under whatever flag. She is attached to Callowan culture, grudges and so forth, "she is Callowan, in the end", and those ideas drive her decisions, even as she breaks with some of them. It's a source of conflict and sadness for her, that she's gone against her people to help them, that they hate her, that she can't last as Queen. Her Primary becomes more open as she goes on: she comes to see Praesi as more diverse and human, she adopts the Fifteenth and its varied peoples until she becomes a banner for all oppressed people's under the Praesi, and her aegis eventually extends over all of Calernia when it's clear that the only way to solve her problems. But her heart never seems to leave Callow. She regrets sacrificing personal loyalties for what she needs to do, but she always does it. And the recklessness and ruthlessness of her Lion Secondary is legendary in-story. Everything explodes around her, she sacrifices her own life as an opening gambit, her power depends on an unbroken string of victories, she's a Thresher (as the Pilgrim describes her) driving deep loyalties and animosities. She picks up a Bird Secondary model from Black as the story progresses, learning to stand back and scheme from a distance rather than risking herself, and it reaches brilliant heights at the Prince's Graveyard, she relished the planning and stayed steps ahead of everyone else, but she's a brawler at heart.

Amadeus of the Green Stretch - Badger Bird. The King / Mob Boss archetype is on point. An inveterate schemer, de-facto king of Callow, always has another sword or sharper in his shadow. Maddie tries to convince Cat that he's on the side of Evil spitting in the eye of the Heavens, but as @lilietsblog argues eloquently here, his true loyalty is to Praes. He raises the idea of Evil as a group for Cat to put them on the same side, and engage that Lion Sec defiance, avoiding the clear fact that their loyalties are to Praes and Callow, and those are likely to clash at some point. He hates much about Praes, but Alaya correctly points out to him that he can't butcher his way into being born in a different homeland. Everything he does is to break the cycle that's devastated his homeland (and Cat's, but that's not his problem) since its foundation. Watching Nefarious' rout and learning about the grain problem are formative experiences for his path. His break with Alaya is a clear split between their different Loyalties: he's loyal to what Praes could be, needs to be, and is willing to break it to make that happen, while Alaya is a Snake in need of control, and she's content to play the game if that's what she needs to do, reform is a nice idea to her but it's not a moral imperative. Amadeus dies for it.

Akua Sahelian - Double Snake (Double Bird model). - Akua thinks she's a Double Bird early on, with all her speeches on "iron sharpens iron" and the glory days of Evil, her elaborate brilliant schemes and devices. But it's not where she truly shines. She becomes something different after Catherine beats her on the terms of her philosophy and shatters her plans. She's a spirit bound to a cape and she... works with it. She's endlessly subtle and seductive, she plays the Woe off each other and inserts herself into the group with alarming ease. She loves flirting with Catherine, she prides herself on her resilience - a Snake Secondary. As for the Primary... oh, poor Akua. She was deliberately Burned young, when her mother ordered her to kill her only friend by her own hand. Akua remains attached, amazingly, to her father, and a little to Barika, though she doesn't want to admit that one. Her father's death is one of the times we see her truly wounded. When Catherine beats her, her philosophy says that she belongs to her now, but that bond becomes something else. The easy companionship of the Woe, that Akua's so deftly maneuvering into, makes her feral. She describes being invited to a fireside feast with Cat's friends as maybe the cruelest thing ever done to her. Because there's nothing in the world she wants so much as love like that. Catherine herself becomes Akua's focus, someone she wounded beyond all forgiveness becoming the only person she wants... (God, this story. My unBurning Snake Primary bleeds with hers.)

Hakram Deadhand - Double Badger. We have a Evil Peacemaker too, it's so good. Hakram is Burnt at the beginning, not because of trauma, but because nothing's really inspired him until Cat. Her project brings him to life, and he loves it... until his people need him. It's a terrible decision, but in the end, the orcs are his in a way Callow is not. (These conflicting Badger loyalties between people who love each other do make my Snake sad.) And he, along with Scribe, is one of the most brilliant Badger Secondaries I've ever seen. He has magical paperwork-speed abilities, he doesn't sleep, he maintains vast networks, he's explicitly the power behind the throne. And when pushed to a crisis with Vivienne, what does he does but sacrifice himself, embodying the solution, trading a piece of himself for her trust. He's kind and scary and thorough, I love it.

Indrani - Double Snake. Girl's a pretty easy sort. She cares about her hedonism and her freedom and her friends. She's a flirt, she talks a lot but carefully doesn't reveal much. She's the one to tell Cat how deeply the personal loyalty she's offered means to the Woe. She singed under Hye's harsh treatment, put that cruelty onto her fellows, but with Cat's kindness, she unBurns that part of her Primary, reconciling with Cocky.

Masego - Double Bird. Another on-the-nose stereotype, our magnificent autistic boy. He's got a speech about his world collapsing before his eyes was a formative experience for his effort to understand the nature of reality. He's frank that apotheosis is a higher priority for him than his friends, but he does work them into his system a little. He invents a new theory of magic. He's unsettled by Cat's recklessness, he's tempted by knowledge, he's a magpie when it comes to arcane tools... I want to talk about him more because I love him, but I think this one's solid (it could be the standard autistic Bird Secondary model, but he seems very comfortable with it, so, Occam's Razor, it's his base).

Vivienne Dartwick - Lion Snake. I have a less of a read on Vivienne's internals, but this one makes the most obvious sense. Her loyalty shift is different than Catherine's, and I think it's suggestive how Cat leans on Viv as a moral compass when she doesn't trust herself. While I don't remember the details of why she joined the Woe, Hakram convincing her to stay I think points strongly to Lion. She doubts herself and her worth, and it throws her into a spiral, until she knows, by Hakram's brutal in-her-face sacrifice, that she's trusted and needed. And then she lights up again. Her Secondary... she's literally doing the Robin Hood thing, she fits the archetype. She doesn't build her network quite like Hakram, she doesn't seem Built at all, she's quick on her feet, but not great in a direct fight.

Alaya of Satus - Double Snake. Alaya's formative moment was when her father was nailed to the floor of her inn by the Sentinels. She was powerless to protect someone she loved, and then she was kidnapped into one of the most dangerous environments on Calernia. Her Primary got a little Exploded wrt her need for control, she sharpened her Secondary to terrifying subtlety, and she became Empress. As I said above, her break with Maddie about her need for control ("Praes is a game that can be won") vs. his moral drive for reform ("Praes is a mold that can be broken").

Scribe - Snake Badger. - Scribe's function is to serve Amadeus (even without his knowledge), and her abilities are the apotheosis of a Badger Secondary - unobtrusive, insanely fast at paperwork, can maintain a cross-continental spy network from a tent. (I'm so jealous.)

Sabah - Snake Lion. - Sabah fights with the Calamities because they're her friends, and is happy to go home to her husband when they don't need her. She's slightly sad about the heroes she has to kill, but if they're in her way, she doesn't regret it at all. Her hammer, and the directness of the Beast? Very Lion Secondary. She gains power on her vision quest when she just... asserts loyalty to the Calamities and fucking kills the god.

Wekesa - Snake Bird. Another Occam's sorting. Wekesa blatantly cares about his husband and son, his friends, and his fun research. He refuses to run a mage academy for Amadeus' project because it would be annoying. His specialization in wards and creative use of that is one of his edges. And it does fit the archtype.

Hye Su - Lion Bird. I'm a little baffled by Hye, but this one might work. Her need for freedom points to an Internal Primary, and she doesn't attach to people really. She dedicated to herself growing stronger, doing ridiculous things like visiting Keter to see one of the few people who can still challenge her. She fights the Queen of Summer, because (and is vicious about her dignity, she doesn't kill them for annoying her because Amadeus would be bothered, but it's a very shallow Snake model). And the Secondary, I'm going off of vibes: the impulse to perfection, to turn herself into the weapon, the hard work, resonates with my Badger Secondary, but she doesn't network at all, and it feels more like a Rapid-Fire Bird, learning new tricks for Keter's traps every time, but internalizing everything so she'll be ready for anything. Her tools, her Aspects, are meta, they're about learning, and they're very dangerous, but I think it's a superficial similarity to a Badger's become-the-tool method.

William of Greenbury - Burnt Snake, Lion. I'm taking the more interesting choice here. William is tormented by a choice he feels he can never be forgiven for: butchering his sister to save himself. While any Primary is likely to find this horrific, a Snake would find it the most pointedly devastating. And running with this theory, we find William trying to model a Lion Primary by running to Contrition. I think a True Lion would hate himself a little less, would see a righteous cause as meaning something in atonement. William feels that the debt can never be paid down. That Burning's in his Name, he's the Lone Swordsman, he doesn't connect with anyone anymore. And the Lion Secondary seems straightforward. While he's not the best inspirational leader, he mirrors Cat in ruthlessness and blowing stuff up and self-sacrifice.

Cordelia Hasenbach - Double Badger. Another of the many nationalist Badger Primaries in this cast, Cordelia is loyal to Procer. She only seeks to rule it when it's clear no one else can save it from itself, she works herself into the ground, crosses lines with superweapons, all for her love of her country. And her power is in her mastery of etiquette, that thing the Lycaonese usually scorn, Southerners don't expect it of her, but she triumphs in the Highest Assembly in her darkest hours via mastery of the rules even in the midst of a coup. I can feel her Secondary's delight at winning within the system despite the chaos around her. And she refuses to cheat by taking a Name, she's no better than anyone else, they're all citizens of Procer and no one is above the law. She's only tempted by one when she seems to need one for her people to be safe.

Hanno of Arwad - Double Lion. I'm a little confused about Hanno, but the coin is definitely about a Burnt Idealist leaning on something external to himself, which he then loses, so he has to learn to trust himself again. And he feels more like a Burnt Lion using the Seraphim as an infallible external system (imitating Bird). Secondary-wise, he's offended by the suggestion of deception. In the trial of the Red Axe, he expects his heroes to be good, fights Christophe to the ground when he has to, but refuses further action, he feels betrayed when Cat and Cordelia come up with a clever solution around him.

Juniper - Lion Bird. Juniper's in love with war, the challenge. Not because it's an orc thing, she avoided her responsibilities to draw battles in the dirt, but because she wants it. Glory is motivating to her, she wants to fight battles like no one's ever seen, she revels in it. And her methods are very explicitly Birdy: she likes a versatile toolbox, and she's the best at using it. Only a Built Secondary could plan out a battle, see the crossbow she has pointed at the enemy in her mind's eye... and go to sleep, confident that her forces will win without her.

Robber - Double Snake. The beautiful little gremlin. He wants to be free of the Grey Eyries, he delights in mayhem, bloodshed, and pranks, he's loyal to Cat personally and gives no shits about the rules (to Juniper's exasperation)... love him.

Pickler - Double Bird. A simple guess: she loves engineering... and that's kind of her whole thing, she wants to make cool new ballistae, Robber and Nauk's attentions are nice but they're not her focus...

Kairos Theosodian - Bird Snake. In the Artist archetype with the Joker, he's got a philosophy about why he's truly Evil, and delights in chaos and betraying everyone around him and using that chaos as a ladder until he goes out in glorious making-a-point.

Phew, that was so many characters (I could add Grey Pilgrim, Saint of Swords... but it's long enough for now). I haven't brushed up on the books in a while, let me know if I got any details wrong.

This book has much to say about morality and problem-solving that I feel I should have more meta relating it to SHC, maybe I'll work it out another day, it'd be very fun, but I've wanted to post this for actual years, so... here it is!

[memphishing]

do you have any,,, terukinjo (or kinjotori, or whatever its called) headcanon,, asking for a friend (me)

Ooo, had to think about this one a bit! I like Terukinjo/Tsuruya/whatever they’re called a lot, but I haven’t really written them like I have with kinjomae, so thus haven’t rotated them in my brain to the same extent it’s tougher to say. But in the context of kisaragi foundation, I certainly have some hcs for how their dynamic would be

-Happy golden retriever x antisocial ugly cat vibe. Everyone loves Teruya but he doesn’t really have… sway in things, per se. in the meantime, people primarily Just Tolerate their leader, he makes good decisions but he’s an asshole. 90% of teruya’s conversations with others about kinjo is “he’s not THAT bad, guys!” because he and kinjo somehow get along gloriously. but because of this, teruya keeps some members in line, and thus helps his kinjo’s cause somehow

-they wouldn’t be “officially” dating, but everyone would know. i actually had a yap session with someone like the other day and we virtually nodded at each other about this- they’d be essentially fwb and kinjo would treat it like a necessity. “yes, you caught me passionately kissing otori. what of it? it was a business venture. a transaction. i had to expel my gay urges to regain a clear head, to maintain efficiency as a leader.” and otori is bobblehead nodding behind him. it’s just kinda, how they are. no feelings (?) involved. yes kinjo will become the picture of a depressed middle aged man when he hasn’t worked a shift with otori in a couple days. yes teruya will be constantly messaging him and trying to sneak into his office to talk about random merchant stuff or cool antiques he nabbed on recent missions and kinjo will not kick him out even though it’s not strictly business ventures. no feelings involved.

-after 3 months of this weird situationship, kinjo is actually the first to realize he has feelings, because of his weird, repressed way of being. one day it would all just come crashing down on him, and he’d be the embodiment of the “i think I like boys” bathroom breakdown meme. he calls up mekaru at midnight like “I DON’T WANT TO BE HOMOSEXUAL ANYMORE. IT INTERFERES WITH EFFICIENCY.” and mekaru is listening with awe at the sheer audacity of this guy to be everything that he is

-cue painful arc of kinjo trying to confess. giving him little gifts, keeping him around for longer, but teruya just doesn’t seem to get the intention behind it. because she’s tired of this business and just wants them to get together already, mekaru pulls otori aside one day. “he’s madly in love with you.”

-“….oh”

-era two of them each fumbling each other begins. teruya leans on the desk like “soooo kinjo you ever had an uh… boyfriend?”

-“i don’t need friends. they disappoint me. get to work.”

-two hours later kinjo is laying in bed and just freezes“…he was flirting with me…”

-at this point they are no longer FWB by the way 😭

-finally, they have a real conversation about what they are. otori expresses that he’d be fine dating, but kinjo is… unsure. to be boyfriends in this time, in this climate of things. it’s unwise… they’re colleagues, boss and employee, fellow survivors, they can’t risk being more. not with the world how it is. otori is a bit crushed to hear this, but kinjo quickly assures that regardless of their mutual feelings. they can stay the same. they don’t need to make distance because of this, nor do they need to close the distance. everything was alright before… it will be alright going forward.

-that’s the relationship they settle on. after an awkward patch, they go back to how they were. each is aware of the other’s crush, but they don’t take it any farther. kinjo tries not to think about it, but otori is vaguely hopeful that in the future, after they fix their world, the dynamics will stop mattering, the danger will cease, and they’ll be able to be together… really together.

-the only difference from before their brief pining arc is that kinjo keeps a closer eye on teruya’s missions now. it… would be unfortunate to lose such a useful asset… or something like that.

-two weeks after they won’t even look at each other, mekaru walks into kinjo’s office to see them smooching and nods to herself. they’ve sorted out their shit, it seems.

[ravel-puzzlewell]

Hi! Do you mind elaborating on what you meant by "tiefling politics" on that wotr vs bg3 post? Just curious, ignore if you want

its about the fact that bg3 has a lot of tiefling characters, somehow more than wotr, and huge theme of like hells and connections to demons\devils and somehow manages to say absolutely nothing interesting about it.

in wotr we have examination of tieflings fitting into human society, ostracization and (literal) demonization of them, where even if some of them would want to help in war against hell, they are scared (frex, group of tieflings thieves you save which you can ask to help u and they are like are u kidding me, crusaders will torch us). woljif in particular is a deconstruction of selfish chaotic neutral tielfling rogue archetype, his story both exploring how both he was pushed into being a criminal bc he had no other options, but also interplay with how he then himself tends to dismiss his own agency in being able to decide for himself and choose better, forever excusing himself with "well this is a crappy hand dealt to me", his survivalist attitude of everyone for themselves vs desire for community, how when given a smidge of stability and access to decision making in council, he tries to awkwardly, but eagerly advocate for societal improvement for all tieflings, and this is one of his most sincere moments - and gets laughed at immediately, etc etc. and speaking of community, v interesting intersection between "good" and "bad" marginalized groups of mongrels vs tieflings, with Lann being self-righteous about both his moral superiority and how mongrels "have it worse", while ignoring that mongrels - and he himself specifically - are mistreated literally bc they are mistaken for tieflings.

btw if anyone wants me to talk more about mongrels vs tieflings thing, hit me up, i think there was a interesting stuff, even if not properly dramatized

meanwhile in bg3 being tiefling largely means nothing? like the refugees would sometimes like drop a line out loud about how tieflings should stick together bc humans won't help them, but like that's it. the refugees could literally be humans running from war or blue cat ppl from avatar running from capitalism and nothing in the plot or characters would need to be changed. tieflings is just cosmetics for them, like idk its cool to have colorful NPCs with fire eyes and sexy horns. And even companions wise, you know I love Karlach and tried to romance her, but being tiefling is just looks for her, its not meaningful. It doesn't matter for her backstory, she could have been a strong human from poor background who was sold out to idk, underdark. like it sucked bc she was forced to do violence and everyne was an asshole and she couldn't see sun, but otherwise it being Blood War specifically doesn't come into play. and like. Blood War has famously huge effects on ppl with hell heritage! I'm not saying she should have been Valen Shadowbreath with entire plotline about struggling with blood war calling, but like. idk, something?

my point is that tieflings and hell has a lot of lore and like, FLAVOUR in this setting, which were not explored at all. these are just ppl with horns and generic Bad Place.

and then like. devil essentialism. bg3 has central motive of how evil races are not ontologically evil, but like, devils are. sdfghjk. apparentely mind flayers can fight actual mind control if they are V Special, but all devils/demons are evil with no exceptions. karlach was in hell for 10 years and never met a single sympathetic devil. the closest one he had mocks IS Evil when we meet her in game. and I actually liked Raphael (transition could've saved her), but there is nothing particularily interesting about him, he's also straighforwardly evil. this severely limits how interesting interactions with hell are. in wotr there is a wide range from reformed succubus to most evil sadists, with every shade in between, which allows for complex stories, like that that fucked up love between that betrayer dwarf and demoness who seduced him. she's legit evil, but she also has actual twisted affection for him, and he knows she uses him, but he was pushed too far by humans and chooses her anyway. this background story is honestly has more depth than wyll's and mizora relationship, where shes just evil and he's straighforwardly martyr. when mizora offered to have fun wink wink, i immediately knew she's gonna Evil It. and she did. and she didn't even get anything out of it! it was just staining your soul to be evil:3 like ok, but boring tbh.

and like yeah war with hell is central plot of wotr, obviously it has a lot more to say and explore about it, but like. bg3 didn't HAVE to have to include so many tieflings and have us follow their stories through all acts. it didn't have to include hell in "no race essentialism" game if it didn't want to talk about it. it chose to, and when game has big chuncks of content about smth connected by a theme, i expect it to say smth about it? anything interesting? eh.

btw, this is not to say i think wotr's writing is perfect, far from it, i can talk for ages of my problems with that game's writing, but this initial phrase was from shitposts specifically comparng things in wotr to bg3, so

[ancha-aus]

NewAgeAU Drabble - The Winter Ball

Hi!! I am back! And @spotaus and I have been talking about these a few times now and well.

It is about time I gave Ccino some happy times instead of just more trauma.

So a happy moment! Still early after Nightmare took the crown and before Killer joined them! about half a year after Ngihtmare took the crown and like... 4 maybe 5 ish months after Killer joined? Ish? Spot please correct me if i am wrong on the timeline Lmao.

*---------------------------------*

Ccino frowns as he checks the list.

This isn't right.

Ccino looks back at the decorations in the hallway and stares at the very warm light green colour of the decorations hanging high.

That is not the colour he had picked out for this party.

Ccino frowns as he crosses his arms. One of the few cats sitting by his feet staring at the decorations with him.

Ccino hums "I agree. It is unlike them to not follow my directions." Ccino is still getting used to his new title and role in the house. Things had been easier now that Nightmare felt ready to be the king and had found his balance with his new duties. It is unlike the others to not follow Ccino's lead.

Ccino is honestly still confused with how easily everyone listened to his directions and orders but it makes for a very efficient running of the castle.

Ccino blinks and actually looks down at the cat by his feet. Wait when had this one sneaked into the castle.

The cat stares back at him and lets out a questioning meow.

Ccino pulls a face "Little friend. You are not helping with the rumour that I own you lot." he holds out a hand to the small cat and the cat rubs its tiny face on his hand. Ccino sighs before deciding this is probably fine. It are just a few cats. Ccino thinks there is only like five running around at this point. That isn't that bad. The cats will probably leave once they feel like it.

It is just that... The idea of people thinking they are his cats... He likes cats, that isn't the issue. He just remembers how the old king... when she thought he had owned cats.

The ache in his back flares up and Ccino takes a few deep breaths. There is nothing there. It is nothing. He just needs to calm down.

Ccino turns away from the cat and starts walking. Ignoring the small shadow following him around the castle.

It is fine. Things are fine. Nightmare doesn't mind the cats and Nightmare had been furious when someone implied whipping Ccino for some broken rule. Nightmare had wanted an explanation and Ccino hadn't been happy with it but he had managed to explain a bit. Nightmare had looks horrified and had been left shaking.

Ccino held him for the whole evening after to help calm him but that hadn't seemed to help Nightmare.

Ccino just wants Nightmare to be happy. That is all he wants and he knows that him just worrying about him won't make Nightmare happy.

Ccino spots some maids in the distance and joins them "Ladies."

The maids look slightly nervous because seeing him and smiling with relieve "Master Ccino! What do you think of the new decorations?" They look downright excited.

Ccino feels a bit bad about wanting to ask them why they messed up and decides to change his question "They look lovely. I was just wondering why the decision has been made to make them green instead of the cyan that was agreed upon?" It was suposed to be white and cyan. White to signal the winter itself and the cyan to honour their king.

The maids share some confused looks before one smiles, Robin it seems, "We were confused by the switch ourselves but our king wanted it to be a warm white with a warm light green. We were honestly lucky we had enough in supply to make all the changes."

Nightmare had requested the change? Why?

Ccino gives a nod and smile "Well it looks absolutely fantastic. How are the other preparations?"

The three happily give him an update about how the cooks are all ready with the last few changes themselves and how the band is getting ready to perform. The guards are all prepared and have a good rotation planned to make sure everyone has a chance to enjoy the evening at least a little.

There are people ready to make sure no one brings any weapons from outside the castle and the spare masks are ready.

Ccino still doesn't understand why Nightmare would want to do a masquerade ball. Ccino knows that Nightmare values the masks above everything else and he always saw the masked balls as a way that others made fun of their traditions and values.

But Nightmare had reinforced that it was of the upmost importance that this ball would be an occasion where people would walk around masked.

Ccino had thought it was a way for Nightmare to take control of the type of party. To make it something that would show the importance of the masks.

Ccino walks and thinks about the matter with a frown on his face. Walking past the ballroom and he is unable to not stop and stare in awe. It is truly beautiful. There are decorations and large ice sculptures. Other servants are setting tables and preparing the banquet tables to hold all the food.

Ccino is happy that more staff is actually staying now instead of leaving. It had been tough to get people to actually agree to work for their King. The fear of their new king is as a silent noose around their necks.

Ccino is happy to have been able to find some staff to help around the castle. Before it was just too exhausting to keep it all taken care of. The extra help was a must have and Ccino is happy to have it.

Even if their king has picked up the bad habit of picking up criminals and thieves. So far they haven't tried to do anything yet but that is mostly thanks to Captain Rogers. Ccino is still every day thankful that the new captain of the guard seems to be so willing to work with him and seems deeply loyal to Nightmare.

Ccino still has his doubts. He knows how others betrayed Nightmare and tried to trick him before. His king is already worried as it is. Ccino is trying to make sure that he at least feels safe in his own home. That there won't be any harm towards him from inside his own home.

Ccino just wants to help him. It is probably stupid to think Nightmare still needs him.

He should be happy he managed to help Nightmare until now. Enough that his king had even gifted him a mask! A mask! Ccino is still scared to touch it. It is precious and beautiful and Ccino is scared to ruin it somehow. He doesn't understand why Nightmare gave it to him, Ccino just did what was right.

He stops by the kitchen and frowns at all the food that has been prepared. It isn't that it is wrong. It looks delicious. It looks truly amazing.

They thing however is. That these are meals he personally liked to enjoy, when he could get himself to eat that is. But Ccino knows not many people like these.

Poached pears, glazed cherries, sea bass pie, coffee cream cakes.

The list just keeps going and Ccino is very sure this is not the list he put together for the party.

He knows he had spoken with his king about what he should put on the menu. They had discussed what would be liked by most and spoke shortly about their own personal favourites as Ccino had wanted to add some of Nightmare's favourites.

Ccino glares as he turns around and goes striaght towards the king's dressing room. He uses his secret pathways to make it up very quickly. He goes into the dark tiny room and holds unto a stone branch and on a large stone leaf. The stones move soundlessly as they transport him upwards a few floors.

Ccino leaves the dark tiny chamber as he continues down the hall. Some guards jump when Ccino turns the corner and he just gives them a nod as he goes towards the right door as he ignores the mutters after him.

"I thought the stairs were the other way? Where did he comes from?"

"Don't. Don't start questioning him. The king made him Head of House for a reason."

Ccino really needs to use the normal halls more. He is starting to view his secret routes as normal routes. Ccino disappears into the dressing room.

It is large and made with mostly white materials. Large mirrors along the wall and Ccino can't bring himself to look at his own reflection. Instead he walks towards the large and imposing figure in front of the large set of mirrors.

Ccino spots Sasha looking up excited as she grins. She has multiple needles in her mouth as she tugs on a piece of thick and purple fabric which makes up a large cape.

Ccino joins the king's side. Nightmare is wearing robes in a deep cyan with the cape being a dark purple.

It is... a choice.

Nightmare tilts his skull slightly as he looks into the mirror "I take it isn't the best fit?" He sounds more amused than anything.

One downside of Nightmare beign able to feel his emotions directly is that it is a lot harder to remain diplomatic about some things.

Ccino finds his answer "Both colours fit you rather well." It is truthful.

Nightmare looks back at the mirror amused "Just not at the same time." He seems highly amused.

Sasha gasps "No it is alright my lord! I just need to find the right balance!" she stares at the fabric as if it holds the mysteries of the world.

Nightmare hums as he unclips the cape. Sasha stammers but quickly grabs the fabric. Nightmare looks to the side as his tendril grabs the black furred cape with cyan and silver detailing, The one he wears daily ever since Ccino gave it to him months ago. He puts it around his shoulders and looks content "Much better."

Sasha grumbles but makes a deep bow.

Ccino feels a bit bad for her. She really is just trying her best with what she has. It has been less than a year since Nightmare took over the throne and it took him a while to get comfortable with his magic and his new position.

Sasha had had less than that time to switch everything to fit Nightmare instead of Dream as she had been trained to serve Dream, like all of them had been.

Ccino misses Dream so much. He knows Dream is safe in the neighbouring world but it still feels wrong to have Dream be exiled. He is only fourteen now and all alone. Ccino won't challenge Nightmare on his decision but Ccino still misses him.

Nightmare tugs on the cuffs on his shirt as he doesn't look at Sasha "Is the other outfit ready?"

Ccino raises a brow as Sasha looks downright excited "Yes it is ready. I will get it right away my lord!" and she runs out.

Ccino looks back as he door closes before he speaks once again "Is there something you wished to tell me my king?"

Nightmare turns towards him and frowns "I do not believe so. Why did you think I wished to tell you something?"

Ccino turns to face his king "My king, you changed the decorations and the menu." he frowns a bit "Were they not to your liking?" He thought they spoke about what Nightmare would have enjoyed at the party and they had settled on this together.

Nightmare watches him closely "I had... come to a different conclusion after some thinking." He doens't look directly at him as he messes with the cape around his shoulders.

Ccino knows that face. He knows that body language. The last time Nightmare acted like this he was hiding the fact he and Dream had broken the vase. Ccino had been more worried about the fact the two had tried to hide the shards and had gotten their hands cut off.

Ccino groans as he holds his head in his face "Please tell me you didn't break something big." Some small item is easy enough to replace but if Nightmare broke one of the painted glass windows they are in trouble. Then more pressing "Are you hurt? Do you have any issues?" He hadn't seen Nightmare get hurt yet since the attack from Dream and he settled in his new body. Ccino had just thought that the magic made him immune to harm but what if he was wrong?

Nightmare sputters and his tendrils spasm as he looks at him "I didn't break anything!"

Ccino's first instinct is to believe Nightmare. His second one is to remember how often the twins got into trouble and messed with the wrong things and how often Ccino had to quickly glue something together or repair their outfits.

Nightmare sputters as he looks to the side with something that Ccino can only describe as a pout. He knows others would call it Nightmare looking angry but Ccino can still remember the tiny 10 year old glaring and pouting with his full might.

Nightmare must notice what Ccino is feeling as he looks very embarrassed. He tugs on his cloak as he rubs the fabric "I didn't break anything..." it is said with a pout.

Ccino can't help but grin "Okay. What did Killer break?" he crosses his arms and waits with a smile.

Nightmare shakes his skull "Killer didn't breka anything either!" He sighs as he looks away "It is just. I wanted it to be perfect. It needs to be perfect for you."

Ccino is confused. He isn't even sure what Nightmare could mean with this and so he walks towards his side and puts his hand on his shoulder "Waht do you mean? It doesn't need to be perfect my king." sure it is the first party Nightmare is throwing since his ascencion. "I know that... the old king would throw parties almost monthly. But you aren't her. You don't have to follow her standards or rules." He smiles softly.

Nightmare looks at him "I don't care about meeting her standards. Everything she did was wrong... I just..." He sighs again and leans against Ccino's side "I wanted this... I just wanted to do this right."

Ccino frowns as he tries to catch Nightmare's eyes "I am sure it will be a great party Nightmare. The people are all very excited about your first official ball." he smiles.

Nightmare sighs and he just seems to sink more against his side "It isn't for them... I just..." Nightmare finally meets his eyes "You are twentyone now... I wanted this to be worthy of that."

Ccino is shocked. What... Nightmare... Is he implying that this is... all of this is for? Him?

The door creaks open and Ccino quickly pulls away as he nudges Nightmare back upright. Nightmare seems more annoyed about losing the contact than anything else. It is still hard to help Nightmare keep to etiquette or the hierarchy that his relatively new stature demands of him.

The door opens and Sasha walks in with the biggest smile on her face "I have a few options!" She walks over as she lays the outfits out and Ccino can see a cream white in the outfits as well as green accents. There is furr and beautifully crafted and treated leather into the outfits as well.

Sasha lays out four outfits and Ccino stares in shock at the many details in the outfits. Some have what seems to be snowflakes stetched into them. Others have silver on the cream white in the shape of vines with very tiny leafs made with small beads. Another one has a fabric that Ccino is very sure is a curious combination between velvet and silk.

Nightmare looks at the outfits before turning towards Sasha "They are beautiful."

Sasha preens as she puffs her chest up proudly "Thank you my lord! They were a pleasure to make and I just could not decide on a single design! I wanted to try a few thinks and I was hopeful that you two would be willing to see which was best liked?"

Ccino is still confused as he watches Nightmare interact with Sasha. Sasha ends up leaving with a bow after saying she will look forwards to hearing their likes and dislikes concerning the made outfits.

Ccino watches the door before turning towards Nightmare in shock "Nice work distracting her from you once again rejecting everything she made for you."

Nightmare blinks before seemingly just turning towards the many outfits. Ccino snorts as he shakes his skull. Nightmare does not like being figured out.

Nightmare holds up the white tunic with many silver vines and the tiny green leaf patterns. All in a cheerful range of light green. Nightmare tests the material before looking curiously at him "Which one do you like best?"

Ccino frowns at the outfits beofre shaking his skull as what he just learned hits him "Why did you order an outfit for me? It is better to just work in my usual outfit." He never needed a special outfit for the balls before. He was a servant. He is suposed to be invisible and unnoticable, especially with parties.

Nightmare looks at him confused for a moment before speaking "How will you be able to join and enjoy the ball in peace otherwise?" Nightmare looks curiously at him "It is your celebration."

A new anxiety as this once again reinforces what Ccino had feared. He laughs as he looks to the side "Oh I don't know. I mean. It is amazing yu want to to this and I appreciate it, I truly do! But I can't... I can't join the ball like that." He is just a servant. He is just another person meant to help. He is just suposed to make sure Nightmare is happy. He can't. He can't get distracted with these kind of silly fancies and fantasies! He needs to remain focused on his task!

Nightmare tilts his skull "Of course you can join the ball. It is your birthday celebration." a bit sadder "I know I don't know when your birthday is... I apologise for that. I should have... I should have asked this much sooner." more regret on his face and Ccino wants to hold the other so badly but knows he can't.

Guards are almost always around same for other servants.

Not to forget that Killer has the bad habit of just popping up randomly and Ccino is very sure he has already seen more than he should have. Ccino just knows as it is unlikely that Killer missed all of those. Ccino still isn't sure why Killer hasn't asked some questions about it yet, maybe he asked Nightmare but than Ccino does not understand why Nightmare never told him.

At least he seems content to remain loyal to Nightmare. That is good. Nightmare deserves to have something work out for him, and if that is Killer being one of his Knights than Ccino will try his best to make sure that goal gets completed. Even if he can't help a lot with it at all.

Nightmare looks at him again "I want you to be able to enjoy your birthday. To have a night to celebrate you." he looks ashamed as he bows his head. "I should have held a celebration when I gifted you your mask. It is the highest honour possible and I did not even gift you it right."

Ccino ends up holding his face as Nightmare leans into the touch. Ccino keeps his voice gentle "I know the meaning of the mask Nightmare. That is what matters. I am very thankful for it." Ccino still does not think he deserves it. It is such a high honour and Ccino is just Ccino.

Nightmare frowns at him before looking down as he keeps leaned into Ccino's hands "I just want to... I want you to be happy. I want you to have this. A celebration to just celebrate you. But I am... I am terrified they will hurt you if they realise how important you are. I can't lose you. I am sorry I am this weak."

Ccino shakes his skull as he holds the other. Nightmare is still so much taller than him and Ccino is still not used to it. Even so he holds the other and hums softly. A familiar sound even as it is soft. Nightmare melts into his hold.

Ccino leans his skull against Nightmare "You aren't weak by being afraid Nightmare. You are so strong and brave, you always keep going and trying your best to make things right. That is a hard thing to do Nightmare." He smiles before glancing back at the outfits "I... But don't you think people will realise that when I have this celebration?" He doens't want to make Nightmare stress but he doesn't understand this step in logic in the other.

Nightmare looks up and smiles a tiny bit "It is why it is a masquarade ball... You will be able to wear something nice. Something worthy for you. You can wear your mask. And for at least tonight it can just be a celebration of you. While we hide the meaning behind the winter motif and making the people happy."

Ccino feels so touched and honoured for this. How can he even explain that? He looks at the outfits and touches the different fabrics. He frowns as he still thinks this is too much. Ccino doesn't need these things.

But if it makes Nightmare happy.

He picks up one of the dresses and checks the fabric. He is quick to lay it back down and consider the tunic that Nightmare had been holding. He does really like the vines.

Maybe for one night he can just be. He can belong in the higher rings of the society. He can enjoy some food and songs without feeling guilty for not working. He can act as if he is some foreigner... Or maybe some far away relative to Nightmare.

He tries on the tunic and ends up putting on the harem pants green of colour with white detailing.

There are very beautiful shoes. Comfortable to wear as well.

Ccino doesn't want to stare at himself in the mirror and smiles at Nightmare "And?"

Nightmare looks happy as he presents with the beautiful white cat mask. Ccino blinks at it before looking amused at Nightmare "When did you retrieve that?"

Nightmare chuckles as he looks rather proud of himself. The tendrils seem to rise as well "I had hoped I could convince you to enjoy yourself tonight," and he holds out the mask.

Ccino laughs before smiling at Nightmare "Okay. Everyone should know how to manage the guests without my help." He takes the mask and puts it on. Looking into the mirror he can actually enjoy how his outfit and mask look together. It is beautiful.

Nightmare walks towards the door and waits. Ccino happily joins his side.

Tonight he can just be and let himself enjoy a piece of the life that was never suposed to be his.

Just one night.

----

Killer pouts as even more servants rush past him as he stands by the table with snacks. He had thought the party could be the perfect excuse to try and be helpful but he hadn't even found Ccino yet. Meanwhile Nightmare seems content to talk with nobles even when Killer knows for a fact that Nightmare hates talking with them.

Killer sighs as even more guests walk past him, all wearing masks. Killer had been offered some guest mask to wear but he rejected the idea.

He knows masks are a big deal. And damnit all if he is going to wear a mask it is going to be the fancy important one! Not some weak immitation! He isn't going to hide who he is unless it is for the fancy honourable one!

The one that will prove he truly belongs!

That he is worthy.

That he is trusted.

Killer sighs as he leans against the table. He already helped some of the others with set up. He spots one of the nice maids and grins as he shoots her the finger guns. She looks downright excited before running off. Killer grins, she should be on her way to ask her crush out, a colleague of her. Killer helped her set up a small dinner area. He hopes it works out for them.

At least some romances here will succeed.

Killer groans as he leans against the table and quickly hides his soul with his crossed arms. His stupid soul is doing that stupid woobly thing again. It always does when he thinks too much about Ccino. He really needs to learn to extent his pokerface to his soul.

Killer shoots it a sour look "You know. it would be easier if you just remained in my body." except he can only do that for very short moments of time. As it starts to ache and feel like a very bad sunburn but inside his body.

Killer doens't want to find out what would happen if he forced his soul fully into his body. He is scared it will find a way out.

Killer sighs as he looks at the floor. See? He doesn't even have a normal soul. How could he be someone worthy?

killer shakes his head and frowns as he speaks to himself strictly "No. Don't. Don't act stupid."

as soon as he mutters it a softer memory returns. Sitting y the fireplace and staring into it. Nightmare finding him and asking him what had been bothering him. Killer mentioning how dumb he was before, and still is.

Nightmare telling him that speaking strictly to yourself about past trauma isn't helpful. To remain gentle with your past hurt to help yourself heal. There is no use kicking someone who is already down, why do it to yourself.

Killer takes adeep breath and mutters "It is okay. That is just Chara's lies. They lied to you, things are different now. It is okay." It is okay. It is okay.

It is still hard to be a person... To be someone instead of something just following orders.

He still likes it better. Even if it is hard.

Killer watches across the room. It is large and beautiful and decorated everything perfectly. There are even fake magical snowflakes in the air above them.

It seems like a fairytale.

Killer can't help but wonder if everyone sees it like that. Like a magical evening which could be their happy ending. Killer watches ladies and men all flirt with one another as they dance to the slow jazz music in the background.

Some younger girls giggle as they shoot the guards, Killer included, looks. They clearly believe this could be their magicla night. Shame for them that Killer is one; not interested in teens, sorry kiddos, and two; there is only one person he would want to dance with.

It is honestly a crime that the very people who work hard on these celebrations can't even enjoy them.

Killer sighs as he leans against the table as he grabs one of the little cake things and stuffs it into his mouth. It is fucking delicious.

He just watches the guests dance as he frowns. Now that he thinks about it, Ccino makes very long days. Maybe he isn't here on purpose? Maybe he is sleeping? Getting some much needed rest? Killer eyes the snack table. Maybe he can bring Ccino some of the food? Ccino brought him stuff when he had hard days or late nights. Maybe he will appreciate the return of the favour...

Killer is trying to decide what to grab when he sees him. Killer turns and can't help but stare. He isn't even sure why. Others were hot and pretty but none of tem demand his attention.

It isn't even as if they are doing anything. If anything they seem content to just stand there. A white tunic with silver and green detailing. Soft looking green pants with some small white dots and shapes. The face is covered by a white cat mask. They hold a glass with some liquid as they stare at the dance floor. Swaying lightly with the music.

Killer can't help but stare. That is one of those masks! One of the special ones! It is in the way the wood looks to have a shine of magic to it. Small silver and gold detailing into the mask itself.

Killer is confused. The only person who is allowed to gift those type of masks is Nightmare! And his king does not trust anyone! Who would he even-

Oh.

Killer stares as others talk around him. Conversations he had been ignoring starting to filter through even as some people seem to try and strike up a conversation with Ccino.

"Who do you think they are?"

"Maybe they are our king's secret lover?"

"No. I doubt it. I thought our king had this thing with the Head of House? They arent exactly subtle about whatever that is."

"Ssh!! you know our king does not like when that gets spoken about!"

"Anyway!! I don't think they are connected to our king in that way... They are gorgeous! Do you think they are maybe a relative of our king from another country?"

"Maybe? It is an option... Oh i know that look! Are you going to ask them for a dance?"

"Hah! I mean. Maybe? It could be nice... Some far away royal heir. All the way here to show support to our king... We dance at the first ball the king throws. We connect and fall in love... You know what? Maybe I will! Okay how do I look? Do I look okay?"

Killer is already walking over. His mind blank except for seeing some other nobles talk to Ccino. Killer doens't like them near him.

He gets to the small group "Hello!" Everyone turns to him and Killer can see those eye lights through the mask eye holes. Staring at him with some light curiousity. Killer is so used to staring into his eyes. Trying to see what he thinks and how he thinks about him.

Killer smiles as he gives a deep bow "Hello my lords. I do hope I do not overstep but..." He looks back up and sees that Ccino has his skull just ever so slightly tilted. He usually does that when he is curious or worried... Killer gives it a go "I realised e have a guest and I was hoping you would do me the honour of dancing with me." His soul is a mess. His mind is a mess. But he wants this so badly. And this way he can get Ccino away from these people who aren't worth his time without selling out Ccino's identity! It is perfect.

The nobles mutter and huff as one laughs "You are a brave guard. How long have you been here now? Still in your first year of training." more chuckles.

Killer isn't listening to them however, he only has eyes for the other.

Ccino is still still as he looks at him. There is a moment of hesitation in those shoulders. The way he looks to the side for just a moment. But then, Ccino nods his head as he holds out a hand.

Gloves cover his hands and arms completely, hiding his skeleton shape easily without pulling attention to those items of clothing.

Killer feels nervous and giddy, almost dizzy even. But he takes the hand and it is warm and soft and Killer can feel the other's body heat through the glove.

Killer leads the other towards the area for dancing and spins the other around before placing his hands on the other.

His mind is a mess and he desperately tries to pull the memories and old classes on dancing. Their king tried to give him some classes in case he would go to a ball on a mission but those haven't been many.

Even so. He holds one of Ccino's hands in his own as he has his other hand on Ccino's hip. This would be the right moment to tell him he knows who he is, that he was just trying to help get him away from the nobles. But what if...

What if he just...

He spins Ccino in a circle and dances with him to the cheerful music.

Killer keeps looking back to the mask. Back to the eye lights hidden behind it. He wants to just stare and see if he can see what Ccino is thinking or feeling. Killer notices however that it is easy to read his body language. Ccino is curious but seems relaxed, he enjoys the music and seems to know exactly which way the music swells or falls. Killer may be leading with the dancing but Ccino is faster. In sync wiht the music.

Maybe... maybe this is what Ccino wanted. Maybe Ccino wanted to just dance. Maybe it didn't matter who. Would Ccino have accepted a dance from one of the nobles?

He probably would have... He accepted Killer's offer after all. And Killer is a criminal and a murderer.

He spins Ccino into the next dance as the music dips for a moment before a new song starts up. If this is his one chance he is taking it and enjoying it.

Ccino doesn't seem bothered. In matter of fact he spins with him as they dance. He is still silent but if Ccino is trying to sneakily enjoy the party... If Ccino just wants to be for a moment and enjoy his night. Killer won't break that illusion. He will dance with him and they will have fun. Killer can have one magical night.

For a moment he can imagine that this could be more.

He regrets not having a mask now. He wishes he had worn one. Killer could have hid behind it. He would have been able to be a mysterious handsome stranger to the other. Maybe they could ahve had a magical night... Maybe he could have left the memory of the mysterious knight from a beautiful night in Ccino's mind. Someone to think fondly off.

Now it is just him... the criminal. The murderer. The killer.

Someone that isn't even trusted yet. Someone that shouldn't be trusted. Much less deserve to be loved.

Still. Killer leads him into another dance when the music changes slightly. He swears he will let go of him if he pulls away. He swears he won't force him to dance or make him feel uncomfortable. He just wants to be part of this.

They continue to dance just like that but Killer notices. The way that Ccino seems to glance towards the table with food.

Killer immediantly remembers Ccino's strange relationship with food. The way he seems to skip meals. Killer grins at him before looking towards the side "Want to grab some? I only grabbed one of the many options but they all looked great." and he smiles. Ccino pauses before giving a slow nod. His voice is soft and not quite as he normally sounds, probably using the tiniest bit of magic to project his voice out to be able to be heard correctly beyond the mask.

"That would be nice. It would be a shame to not dance anymore." a soft wishfulness to that soft confession.

Killer smiles as he feels his hope swell more "We can always dance again after we ate some! I really enjoy dancing with you." Maybe he can do this right.

They go towards the table with food and Killer tries some of the different dishes. Small bites first before taking more of the things that he enjoyed. Ccino doesn't do this. He instead grabs a few things with focus and seems to eat them slowly. Obviously enjoying himself even as he never removes the mask fully, just shifts it enough to enable himself to eat.

Killer stands nearby as he just talks, mostly about gossip he heard from the other guards.

They end up grabbing a small plate with food before going towards one of the many large balconies around the ballroom, They settle on one on the second level of the room and they stand by the railling. Watching the other party goers as they enjoy their snacks.

Soon they jsut watch the people silently. Killer glances at him and he can't help but stare. He looks even more beautiful in the low light. His eyes are so much clearer and the designs seem almost alive. The decorative fake snow falls outside just enough to fall around the other in the air.

Killer feels his throat choke up as he wants to confess. Admit how he feels and has been feeling. How he had been having these feelings since the start and how those have been changing and evolving with him as he learned more about himself.

The problem is. That at that point he would lose this little peace. Killer wouldn't just have to admit that what he feels but he would also have to admit that Killer knew it is Ccino.

That Killer lied to him about not knowing who Ccino was.

And if Killer knows one thing it is that Nightmare and Ccino both hate liars.

...

Killer... Killer doens't want Ccino to hate him... The bravery that had taken hold of his soul leaves again as the fear of him hating him returns.

Killer is already in a tough spot. He is already struggling to gain their trust as it is through all his past deeds.

He can't.

Killer smiles as he holds out a hand "Would you like for us to dance again?"

Ccino puts his own hand in his "Yes."

Killer smiles as he feels happiness. Ccino accepted his request for a dance. He said yes to him again.

Killer smiles as he pulls the other back inside. Back into the light and away from the dim intimate light. The mood he isn't ready to see just yet. The conversation he isn't ready to have just yet, and maybe he will never be.

And maybe. That is okay. Maybe having these tiny moments is enough.

Killer holds the other close as a slow music sounds out. They dance closer and Killer can feel the other's bodyheat as they dance. Close enough that Killer can feel Ccino's breath on his bones.

It is enough.

it is alreayd more than he could have hoped for.

[enjoyjellime]

Making up headcannons for each character on the fly, here we go!

I see the entire group as one big found family lol

I hope you enjoy my ramblings 🥺

Yashiki: He gives off girl dad vibes, having a sister helped with that. He does hairstyles for the younger Mark Bearers from time to time and can help out with things like outfit decisions, or getting his nails painted as practice. Has a keychain of a black rabbit on his car keys as a reminder.

Saya: She learned to crochet just so that she could make little hats and other pieces for her rabbit, Muu. She would also make pieces for Yashiki to use for the dolls he would make.

Moe: The snack connoisseur, she goes to the local convenience stores to check for new ones constantly. Always has something with her. Having a club meeting? She brought snacks for the whole group. Feeling down? Here's something to cheer you up. Special event? She has the seasonal exclusive. If you ever need a little treat, she's got you covered.

Tsukasa: Isn't allowed to have a pet since his parents are a bit strict about his studies, they think it would just be a distraction. It doesn't stop him from taking care of the stray cat that lives behind his house though. The only other person who knows about its existence is Moe, who helps bring cat food, and every once in a while treats. Moe keeps telling him to name it, but Tsukasa doesn't want to, he doesn't want to become too attached in case something happens to it.

Mashita: The reason his dexterity stat is so low is due to an accident that happened while working in the force. While not disabling him, it has left him with much lower dexterity than what he had before. He doesn't tell anyone about this, because he hates feeling vulnerable. But as he warms up to everyone more, he eventually goes to Daimon about it, who shows him hand exercises to do to help build it up again.

Shou: Has a doting mother, but an absentee father, so he looks up to Mashita and Yashiki quite a lot. He wanted to learn the drums, but his mom ended up putting him in violin lessons growing up, so he's surprisingly good at it. He gets flustered if it's ever brought up. Currently he is self taught on drums, Ai asked if he'd like to be the drummer for one of her concerts once. He declined, wanting to make sure he was at a good level first before doing any performing.

Christie: Being a news reporter, she is able to get a lot of information from her sources, meaning she knows of all the best restaurants and cafés in the city. She likes to take the other Mark Bearers to try things with her sometimes, like being the first to try a new restaurant that just opened up, or visiting a fusion cafe for a coffee date. From high end sushi, to a hole in the wall family owned restaurant, from a cutesy dessert buffet, to rows of Izakaya, she's a foodie at heart. Definitely the rich aunt type, who likes to spoil the younger Mark Bearers. In moderation of course.

Suzu: After the Hanayome case, she gained a whole new appreciation for animals. When she's not at home doing chores or homework, she likes to volunteer her time at the local animal shelter. Her calm demeanor makes her quite popular in the cat room specifically. Plans on becoming a veterinarian one day.

Eita: Ends up finding his calling working in the IT department as the rise of the internet begins, making it a very well paying job at the time. Despite his otaku nature, his favourite anime genre is actually just Slice of Life. Christie is his plug for collaboration merchandise being sold at cafes or restaurants, he pays her back of course.

Yasuoka: Quite the fashionista, has a colour coordinated outfit for any lucky colour her fortune gives her that day, but when asked, she'll say her favourite colour is periwinkle. She took up embroidery as a hobby, so when she's not out and about reading fortunes and receiving information on spiritual happenings for Yashiki, she can be found stitching patterns onto omamori charms that she gives out to those who need them.

Ai: Was able to get clearance from her manager about a specific VIP pass to her concerts just for the Mark Bearers, and is always happy to see them after a show. Dedicated a song to the group and what they had gone through together. She once tried to set up a personal concert at the Mansion with herself on vocals, Yashiki on piano, Daimon on guitar, and Shou on drums. It was.... interesting. To say the least.

Hiroo: After a long day at work, her favourite way to unwind is renting a session at a karaoke booth and ordering some drinks. She only sings by herself and when she's drunk, as she's a bit self conscious about her voice. But she's actually pretty decent, if you ignore the drunken slurring and giggling. When warmed up to the others a bit more, she'll invite Daimon, Christie, and/or Yashiki. However these musical get-togethers are strictly a "No Mashita Zone" since she doesn't want him having any dirt on her while she's inebriated.

Daimon: Really likes high energy music, and used to go to raves when he was in his prime. Nowadays he can't really do any of the moves he used to without going into an aggressive coughing fit, but he can be stubborn when he wants to be. Appreciates when the younger Mark Bearers shows him newer music, helps keep him in the know. Always tries to make it to each of Ai's shows, his support is felt through how fast he ends up waving the glow sticks, immediately followed by another coughing fit. Promised to help Suzu get into medical school if she was still interested in becoming a veterinarian when the time came.

Banshee: Now that his "home" was purified, he now has more access to the underground system, and is able to make it all around the city fairly fast without interruption. However doing this to get to different manholes around town has caused him to become somewhat of a cryptid to the public, and he absolutely loves it. The only people who go under to meet him are Hiroo and Daimon, for check ups and to hear more about their ancestors and the history of the place. Everyone else meets him on the surface, either on purpose or by chance. They have a special code that echoes through the underground so that he can make his way back to see them at the meeting spot. He goes to the mansion himself whenever he wants to raid the pantry give Yashiki a visit.

Thank you if you made it this far 🥹

[b-r-a-i-n-v-o-m-i-t]

Untiltled Dreamswap fanfic - Chpt 1 & 2

So I have had a spontaneous burst of motivation lately and started writing a fan-prequel to the original DS lore (how the characters met/how they got to where they are now). I thought to gauge interest I would post the first two chapters ahead of time.

Pls bear in mind these are drafts and need editing.

I should also note that I have sort of cherrypicked lore from Dreamswap & Fatal Flaws, as well as adding my own embellishments.

Chapter 1 - Overkill

Early afternoon sunshine warmed the air and dappled the sprawling gardens of the Justice Reigns palace. It fell across tangles of red and white roses, and into the eyes of the guards positioned inside its heavy iron gates, dazzling them. It wasn’t of any real consequence, however, as they weren’t doing anything particularly important. Most of the actual security was provided by the massive fence, lined with sharp spines like spears threatening to rip apart any vagabond who dared to come too close. Not that any self-respecting vagabond would be stealing flowers. Really, the whole thing was kind of stupid. 

Overkill. That summed up just about everything to do with the Justice Reigns. The organisation dedicated to bringing justice to the needy and liberating the people or whatever was always quick to spout the most unnecessarily grandiose, and completely ridiculous, plans to improve the wellbeing of the country. No one had ever seemed particularly inclined to take their ideas past talk, but this did not stop everyone from the councilors to the janitors from proposing their most preposterous and far-fetched ideas for improving the lives of the citizens. And now poor Crystal had to sort through piles and piles of the most painfully idiotic grant applications and research projects she had ever read. When she had agreed to the position of right-hand-woman to Lord Arthur Von Licht, the leader of the JR, sifting through mountains of rich people asking for stupidly large sums of money to fund saving tabby cats from gun violence was hardly what she had imagined. Still, Von Licht refused to impose any sort of boundaries for the applications, because ‘group effort’ and ‘hearing new perspectives’ and whatever other bullshit he had quoted when Crystal last stormed into his office and demanded he put a stop to the ridiculous requests of his employees. He insisted that every voice in the organisation deserved to be heard, and that one needed a multitude of ideas and views on a subject in order to make educated decisions. This, however, had to be overkill. 

Crystal growled in frustration and flung down her pen. Storming over to the window, she threw it open and tried to do the calming breathing exercises her boss had insisted on teaching her. The cheerful twittering of an unseen bird drifted over on the gentle breeze. This, unfortunately, only made her angrier. How dare this bird be having a nicer day than she was! It had probably never signed a document in its life, let alone seven-thousand. 

A flicker of movement flashed in Crystal’s peripheral vision. 

“Charity donation to help support monkey trainers living in homeless shelters. Hmm. Well, at least they know exactly what they want. It’s good to have a strong vision.”

Crystal turned to see Ani stooping over her desk, a mop of messy black hair hid their face from view, but she could hear the incredulous laugh in their voice. 

“I swear they’re just doing it for kicks at this point! There’s no way any of these are serious. Look, ‘Benefits of introducing daffodils to small country communities suffering from wealth inequality’.”

“Well now I’m curious! What are the benefits?”

“Probably fuck all.”

Their conversation was interrupted, however, by a sudden commotion outside the office door. The scuffle of running footsteps could be heard, and then a knock resounded through the door.

“What is it?” Crystal barked,

The door creaked open, revealing the thin sweating face of a very nervous young guard. He rocked back and forward on his toes as he stood in the doorframe, avoiding eye contact.

“Y-your presence was requested by Lord Von Licht, ma’am.”

“My presence where, exactly?” Crystal asked, raising her eyebrows,

“In h-his office.” The guard stuttered, 

“Yeah, I could have guessed.”

“Uh, yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am.”

“Jeez.” Ani muttered, “No need to be a dick.”

“I’m not!”

The guard looked confused,

“Not what, ma’am?” He asked tentatively, perhaps afraid of another snarky remark,

“Nothing.” Crystal snapped, “I was talking to myself. Tell Von Licht I’ll be there in a minute. Go on!”

The door closed,

“Sorry!” Ani giggled, “That was totally my bad.”

“You’re going to make everyone in this damn place think I’m crazy.” Crystal grumbled, 

“Seeing ghosts doesn’t already make you crazy?”

“Pathetic! I went mad the moment I started working here. The instant I had to start reading about planting daffodils to solve the cost of living crisis. Anyway, guess I have to go visit the big bad boss. If I’m going crazy, he’s already off his rocker. That’s probably what he wants to talk to me about, helping him sign more documents.”

Crystal let out a long whistling sigh and reluctantly moved towards the door.

“Can I come?” Ani asked, 

“I can't exactly stop you.”

“True. Oh, it will be nice to hear his voice again.”

Crystal paused a moment, and gave Ani a questioning glance. Their thin face wore a serene smile and their eyes were vacant, as if lost in a memory. Although, it could be hard to tell with them sometimes. Their face was dreadfully pinched, making their expressions hard to read. Their skin was pale, too, pale as a ghost. Their cheekbones jutted out sharply, and their eyes seemed sunken and tired. Even in death they looked horribly sickly.

“I can always pass on a message.” She offered finally, “I know you didn’t want to before, but I don’t get why I can’t just say something to him?”

Ani laughed, but their expression was bitter.

“I’m just not sure how he’d take it.” They explained sheepishly, “I mean, it’s a pretty big revelation.” They shuffled their feet uncomfortably and looked down, “Besides… I’m not sure that someone like me could make any lasting impact on someone like him. He probably doesn’t even remember me.”

Crystal shrugged, 

“Fine, whatever. Just sit and watch. You better not distract me though.”

“I won’t, promise!”

“If you do, I’ll round up every priest and psychic on the continent until I find one that can get rid of you.”

“Alright, alright! Jeez, overkill much?”

—-

Chapter 2 – Lord Von Licht

No ray of fresh afternoon sunlight could manage to sneak its way passed the thick red curtains into office of Lord Arthur Von Licht. The room was blanketed in a crimson-tinged darkness that smelled of days of stagnant air. Dust bunnies danced as they caught the brief sliver of light that came from the open door as Crystal entered.

“Crystal.”

The voice seemed to come from the walls themselves, a low rumble emanating from the very air around Crystal’s head and reverberating around her skull. It felt as if it would fill all her brain, echoing until it was difficult to focus on anything else but what was spoken. Once upon a time this would have frightened her, but she had since gotten entirely used to her boss’ peculiar methods of communication. She rather fancied she had grown immune to his little mind tricks.

Blinking away the darkness, Crystal beheld the all too familiar room. The red and gold embossed wallpaper, the hanging tapestries (most depicting Von Licht’s various acts of heroism), the hanging chandelier (unusually close to the ceiling, so that the room’s lanky inhabitant would not hit his head), and most notably the drooping golden veil behind which the man himself would sit to receive guests. From the other side of its shimmering folds Crystal could vaguely see the tall thin figure of Von Licht pacing back and forth.

“Sit.” He commanded,

Two mahogany chairs of a rich brown hue stood facing the veil. One was already filled by a large square-jawed man in the typical bright-white JR uniform. He sat attentive and upright, his eyes fixed on the shifting figure behind the curtain. His expression was one of utmost concentration and focus. His gaze moved to Crystal as she took her place, and he tipped his hat in greeting, revealing a horrible scar twisting down one side of his face.

“Miss McCrae.” He said politely,

Crystal rolled her eyes at him.

“Hi Finch.”

He gave her a false smile and turned back towards the veil, Crystal followed suit.

“So,” She said, “What’s the occasion?”

“It would seem, then, that you are not aware of last night’s… incident?” Von Licht’s voice echoed,

“Yeah, clearly not. What happened?”

Finch shot Crystal a warning glance, but she ignored him.

“There has been somewhat of a ruckus from our guests downstairs.”

Von Licht had a habit of coming up with quirky, family friendly, little nicknames for some of the JR’s less publicizable acts. By ‘guests downstairs’, he was referring to the inmates of a high-security prison dungeon built underneath the palace. It was protected by the royal guards, and supposedly under the watchful eye of Lord Von Licht himself. Yet another duty Crystal was entirely shocked he could fulfill without ever leaving his office.

“What kind of a ruckus, and what do I have to do with it? Are you finally letting me join Finch’s clean-up-crew?”

By ‘clean-up-crew’, she meant the guards who were given the coveted task of punishing prisoners who misbehaved. A highly sought-after role.

“An escape attempt. A successful escape attempt.” Von Licht hissed, “And that is hardly all. They ran rampant through the lower floors, and they forced entry into my private vaults.”

There was a sudden clatter, as Finch threw himself from his chair and onto his knees before the golden curtain.

“I’m sorry, my lord.” He gushed, “As captain of the guard it is my responsibility to take account for the abysmal failure of my units. All individuals involved will be punished and I will submit myself to whatever discipline you deem fit.”

Silence from behind the veil.

“You are a good captain Finch, and loyal. No, I do not believe you are to be held responsible for the incompetence of your trainees. However, I do trust that each and every guard will be held to the standard the JR expects. Poor behaviour cannot go unchecked.”

“Yes, of course.” Finch nodded, lifting himself back into his seat and smoothing his uniform once more.

“I did not call you here to reprimand you.” Von Licht continued, “But I do have a task for you, for both of you. These criminals stole something from me, something inconceivably dangerous if fallen into the wrong hands. I require you to retrieve it.”

“Why me?” Crystal interrupted, “I get little birdie over here, but why should I bother chasing your lost property?”

The figure turned towards her, and although its eyes were hidden she felt its gaze like a burning inside her skull.

“Because you are my right hand. My most trusted intelligence officer.” Arthur explained slowly, “And I have every faith that you are competent enough to handle this task.”

“Intelligence officer?” Crystal scoffed, “Is that my official title? Why the heck do you have me signing grants then?!”

“You might not have noticed.” Finch snapped, “But Lord Von Licht is rather important around these parts, and he has a lot on his plate. Small wonder if he needs someone to help him now and again.”

“Sick burn, little birdie. How many shifts sitting on your ass letting prisoners waltz out the door did it take for you to think up that one?” Crystal shot back, “Why do you need an intelligence officer for this mission anyway? Seems like something the cops should be able to handle.”

She waved one arm vaguely at Finch.

“Because this operation must stay entirely under wraps.” Von Licht explained calmly, “I can hardly emphasise enough that this stolen item is the most dangerous property this organisation owns. I will need you both to work together to return it. Crystal, I expect that you will drop your heckling behaviour and show a little more respect.”

“I am more than capable of handling a few petty remarks, my Lord.” Finch assured his boss, with a smug glance at Crystal,

“It was hardly more than friendly jokes.” Crystal snorted, “‘Petty remarks?! Pish!”

Then she caught herself. ‘Pish?’ she thought with annoyance, ‘When have I ever talked like that!?’ She touched her head gingerly with one hand, the burning was getting worse.

“Crystal.”

“Alright fine. I’m sorry, Finch. You’re not completely awful. You’ve done nice things for me before. You got me those candied fruits I like for my birthday. I’ve hardly ever gotten any nice gifts before, it made me feel- You know what, I’m not sorry at all! You’re annoying as shit and I can’t stand how you’re always trying to suck Von Licht’s dick for brownie points! And he totally gets off on it too! Fuck you both!”

She flung the chair down in a rage and stormed off. Unfortunately, and as one can see, Crystal was not quite as immune to Von Licht’s influence as she liked to think.

“Wow. That was hard to watch.” Ani said sympathetically as Crystal stamped her way back down the corridor towards her office,

“That prick was embarrassing me on purpose! Fuck him and his stupid ass mind powers bullshit!”

She flung herself down at her desk with a huff, sending pages flying everywhere.

“I bet he’d be pissed if someone was messing around with his brain like that!”

Ani sighed,

“You know, I swear he was never like that when I knew him. He was so honest and sweet.”

“Maybe.” Crystal grumbled, snatching up her pen and stabbing it into the desk, “Or maybe he fucked with your head too.”

“Don’t say that!” Ani cried, sounding genuinely hurt, “He wouldn’t! He really wouldn’t! He’s not like that!”

Before Crystal could reply, however, footsteps could be heard outside the door. Once again, a guard entered, only this time she carried with her papers tied together with golden string.

“From Lord Von Licht himself, ma’am. For your eyes only.”

“Nope. Not taking it.”

“I don’t think it was a request, ma’am.”

“Don’t care.”

“Well… well, uh, I’ll just leave it on your desk then.”

The guard promptly dropped the paper and scuttled out in a rush. Crystal let out a growl of frustration and snatched up the package.

“Asshole! Fine, I’ll see what he wants from me.”

Uncurling the pages, Crystal was greeted with a peculiar illustration. It was of a crystalline ball, with intricate carvings running like spider’s webs across its whole surface. There were vague outlines of what she guessed were runes of some kind, but she didn’t recognise them. Inside the orb was a sort of light or flame. Her curiosity was, as much as she hated to admit it, piqued. The artefact was clearly magical in some way, and magical materials of any kind were incredibly hard to come by. Probably because they were highly, highly, illegal without a permit.

“Oh!” Ani gasped, “Oh! I’ve seen this before!”

“What?! When?”

“He had this way back when I was... well, alive. Said it was a relic from his childhood.”

“From his childhood? I know Von Licht is weird, but why the hell is a kid playing around with a dangerous superweapon or whatever this is supposed to be?!”

“I don’t know.” Ani confessed, “I was never really that interested in the thing. I did think it was pretty at first, but Arthur insisted it wasn’t something to be toyed with. He said it had to be kept secure at all times.”

“Huh. The mystery deepens.” Crystal murmured, turning over the page in her hands, “What the hell is this thing, then?”

She rifled through the rest of the documents that had come with the diagram. Among them were lists of names, criminal safehouses, and known black-market resellers, but nothing else to do with the glass ball.

“Nothing at all?!” Ani cried disappointedly, “I was getting so invested!”

“Von Licht does love keeping his secrets, doesn’t he. It’s backfired on him, though. Now I’m kind of intrigued.”

“You’ll take the job then?” Ani asked excitedly,

“When did I say that?”

“But this is, like, our only way of finding out what this thing could be! Come on, Crystal, you said you want to know! You can finish being mad at Arthur later, just take up the mission first!”

Crystal paused, deliberating for a long moment. After a lengthy silence she finally took up the papers in her hands.

“Actually I have a better idea.” She said decisively,

“What? What do you mean?”

“I can use this to get back at Von Licht for being a dickhead.” She informed Ani smugly, “He doesn’t want people prying into this whole orb-looking-thing business? Too bad!”

Ani sighed,

“Well at least we’re both happy. When do you start?”

Crystal re-examined the documents. “Tomorrow.” She read aloud, “I meet little birdie at the palace gates, five o’clock sharp."