#its just 3 am rants im sorry if it offends you

[hannahlovesluca]

So i heard about u doing nijisanji matchups so why not :DD

Nijisanji male matchup pretty plz w cherry on top

Gender:Gender is nothing but a social conCepttTttt(jk cis female but there were times ppl mistook me as a guy once LMAO)

Pronouns:I don't have any in particular,i don't mind any of them as long as its not they/them

Sexuality:....i..don't know actually.Like.Women.But Men.But women.i'll just say bisexual..

Zodiac:Aquarius

Appearance:Shoulder length black hair,i'm kiiinda tall?Im taller than most of my friends.Black fox-like(i think thats what they call them??) Eyes,and i wear literally anything.Like imagine someone in a black turtleneck and some random ass floral button up shirt with the most obnoxious pants ever(for clarification this isnt my attempt at getting in r/builtdifferentfromothergirls i just get cold easily).Oh and im as blind as a bat without my glasses,i only put them on when i wanna put myself in the attractiveness scale for shits and giggles sometimes i wear random jackets i find in my room like that one hot pink jacket i covered in the bee movie stickers for some reason

Mbti:Entp

Idk my ennagram sorry :((

Personality:im pretty laid-back but based on sources(aka my mutuals) i am the embodiment of a living cockroach because of me almost dying like 5 times(vibe checked by god 5 times and he did NOT approve of me...like mf be frfr) i procastinate until like a day before the deadline cause i only work with pressure cause my brains just built like that(rushing calculus my beloved) I LOVE MATHS SO MUCH U CANT IMAGINE(and the cries of my discord besties cause the moment they go back on vc they see the discord whiteboard filled with god knows what) and im preeeeetty confident in myself unless someone genuinely compliments me,if that happens im just gonna disintegrate into dust

Likes:that one meme where the green guy from avengers goes "why is galora",yugioh,jumping into my friends random vc comedically 4 shits and giggles,resident evil,taking care of everyone(and not taking care of myself cause im a self aware hypocrite),DEBATES I LOVE THEM SM THEY GIVE ME SO MUCH ADRENALINE

Dislikes:when someone gets into my persona space toooooo much.oh and the fact that u can divide 91 by 7.literally unreal.and thunder??dunno it sets uncomfy in me i probably offended zeus in my past life or smth

Love language:

I dont know what that is....i mean like,id send whoever i get random memes i found at 3 am,shower thoughts??and hugs??and cuddles??and giving them reassuring words??does that count?

Extra:im bilingual(swedish,russian,korean,german) so i can make ppl say what seems like romantic words when its a deez nuts joke this is a flex btw.i pace around tasks pretty fast,sometimes im too lazy to get up sometimes i go around doing literally everything at once

Im sorry if this is confusing to u this is my first time doing this :((

i pair you with…

Ver Vermillion!

hear me out…

• you guys will absolutely nerd out over yugioh and will probably end up playfully arguing and malding over the other (i dont know much ab yugioh im sorry 💔💔)

• if you let him nerd out to you and rant to you about the most random things he will immediately fall in love

•likewise if you nerd out/rant to him he will fall in love bc the fact that you confide in him???

• similar to shu yaminerd, he is a huge nerd but hes better at hiding it

• call him a dork. he says he hates it but he loves it.

• YOU GUYS WILL HAVE MEME BATTLES.

• youll sit in discord vc, no sound except the little giggles erupting out while you read each others memes and random messages that you just keep on sending

• will randomly whip out the “why is galora” meme to make you laugh out loud in vc with others, on stream, etc even in public

• god, he loves your hair

• your cuddles up in his arms, half-asleep, and hes running his hands thru your hair AHHH

• will also send you hot-takes out of nowhere so you guys can debate on it solely because he knows how much you love it

• “banana pizza is good.”

• “soggy socks feel nice.”

• will also throw you random compliments because he knows its the only thing that will get you

• “are you a hot mom because damn mama you hot.”

• will assist you in sending deez nuts jokes to your friends in korean

• “내 불알을 빨아.”

RUNNERS UP: Shu Yamino, Doppio Dropscythe

[jovenshires]

Really sorry I brought up the main tag thing didn't mean to prompt anything my nosy ass really just went for it. For what it's worth I really appreciate you tagging everything appropriately and since I'm really unused to rpf I really respect your attitude towards it. It all boils back to all the asks you've been getting about what a nice space your blog is, truly you are a top notch Tumblr creator and spommy revolutionist -dot hell anon

oh no absolutely no worries!! i was not offended or angry or anything and i apologize if it came off that way. if i hadn't wanted to answer, trust i wouldn't have LNDFNLKF i have deleted asks for WAY less. i volunteered my lil soapbox rant bc its been something i've been thinking about anyway. i, too, am nosy and totally understand the urge to Ask - and im generally an open book so i really don't mind sharing !!

that's so sweet, tysm!! yeah i know rpf can be a touchy subject for some people, and i get that, so i try my best to make it clear my stance on the subject while still hearing out other opinions and making sure people feel safe in this fandom. truly it makes me so happy to hear that people think of this as a safe chill space bc that's all i've ever wanted <3

[liaaaannee]

What saddens me is the fact that tharn and type have known each other for seven years yet they still dont trust each other

I mean we know tharn has some issue in relationship (esp in lhong scene) but i expected that they have talked and knew each other best.

Honestly the script is little to becoming unrealistic at this point, the conflict is too shallow for tharn to overreact like that

Kudos to mew tho, he was soooo intense looking at fiat

[ayoitspatricia]

Rachel Green x adopted daughter!reader pt 2 please 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

The one with the adopted daughter

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

(Rachel Green x adopted daughter!reader, platonic Pheobe Buffay x reader)

*THIS IS IN (Y/N)‘S POV*

I pace in my room, walking back and forwards, trying to gain enough courage to go and ask my mom that one question i have never mentioned before.

I finally open the door to find mom sitting on the couch skimming through a book. Not reading it. Skimming. She doesn’t like reading so its probably something Pheobe or Monica forced her to do. I created my throat and she looked up at me.

“Good morning honey.’ She said blandly before looking back down to the book that she was now fiddling with.

“Mom,” I began, her head not coming back up to look at me.

“Who were my real parents?” I asked, regretting it as soon as it slipped out of my mouth.

She froze, immediately placing the book that was playing with on the seat beside her. She blinked a few times before she looked back up at me, a fake smile being plastered on her face.

“Why would you ever need to know that sweetie?” She asked me, sounding slightly offended.

“I just thought that, you know, you would maybe know about them as you adopted me so i thought I’d try asking.” I explained, watching as her face went slightly red.

She gave me a slight glare. “You know what, since you’re dressed (Y/n), why don’t you go to Joey and Chandlers apartment.”

I raised my eyebrows, “Why? Where do you need to go?”

She walked past me, grabbing her bag and putting on her jacket, “To the coffee house to see the others.”

As she walked out she whispered the final part, “Or maybe to a place that sells alcohol, I need a drink.”

Ok?? She didn’t even answer my question, she just left.

I walked over to the apartment opposite ours and knocked on the door. Joey answered it whilst reading his script, not even saying a word just gesturing for me to come in.

“What play you working on Uncle Joey?” I asked, opening their fridge and taking out a Capri Sun, which are what Joey buys for me for when I come over.

He groans walking to the counter where i was, “A musical.”

I snort. “Joey, how did YOU get cast for a musical!?”

He gasps, “Are you saying that i am not capable of getting cast for one!?”

“Yes.” I snicker. He rolls his eyes and goes back to his script as I quietly drink my capri sun.

I speak up, “Hey Joe?”

He looks back at me, “What do ya need kid?”

“Do you know who my real parents are?” I ask him curiously.

His usual lazy smile turned into somewhat of a scowl. “I have a feeling you’ve overstayed your welcome (Y/n), I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “But Joey-“

He got out of his seat and grabbed my arm, pulling me to the door and pushing me out.

I frowned, what was up with everyone today?

I mean, last week Joey was joking about how mom could secretly be my biological mother and now he is mad?

I realised i did not have my apartment key on me so i had to wait until everyone got back. I waited about 10 minutes until i saw my mom, with Ross, Monica and Pheobe behind her.

“Do you feel better now?” I asked, trying to not sound rude.

“Rachel said that you are supposed to be at Joeys!” Pheobe pointed out, which i nodded back to.

“I was, he kicked me out too.”

“Please don’t tell me you asked him what you asked me.” Mom groaned.

I sighed, annoyed. “Well someone has to know! And quite frankly, it seems it is one of you guys!”

Joey opened his door and walked into the hallway where we were, “Why is (Y/n) shouting!?”. Everyone ignored him and continued to look back at me.

Mom rolled her eyes at me, “Honey don’t be ridiculous-“

“Im not! Im just angry about the fact that some of you obviously know my birth parents but don’t think you should tell me about them! I understand how much you’ve all done for me but i just want to know who they were. I’m sorry for just being curious as to why i got given up!” At the end of my rant everyone looked at me with guilt written on their faces.

A tear rolled down my eye, “I just don’t get it.”

“(Y/n), i just don’t get why you’ve never mentioned this before. We could’ve helped you.” Monica spoke up.

I chuckled bitterly, “I don’t need help!”

Mom looked confused, “(Y/n), you’ve never even mentioned your biological parents before. What has made you feel the need to mention them now?”

It’s just, last week I heard Joey making a joke about how you could actually be my biological mom and you seemed to look quite panicked when you heard what he said.” I said quietly.

Mom shook her head, “Honey, if you’re thinking that I am your birth mom then you are wrong because I am NOT.” She said, glaring at Joey who gave her a ‘what the hell have I done?’ look.

“Then what was wrong today? When I asked both you and Joey about who gave me up you guys kicked me out of your apartments. I get that you’re my parent but what did my other parents do to make you all act like you despise them?” I asked, running my hands through my hair.

“That’s it, you’re not getting anymore answers. I need some space.” Mom’s voice cracked. She unlocked the apartment door and walked straight to our room, slamming the door behind her. Ross running in and knocking on the door, trying to get her to open it.

Joey looked at the rest of us, “Well, I need to go practise for the play I’m taking part in,” he looked at Chandler, “Care to help me practise?”

Anything to get away from THIS tension.” Chandler replied, following Joey into their apartment.

Monica handed me $10, “How about you just go to the coffee house for a while, you don’t have to give me back the money you don’t spend.”

She gave me a sympathetic smile, walking into our apartment and coming back out with my jacket and giving it to me. I mumbled a small ‘thank you’ and watched as both her and Pheobe walked back into our apartment, closing the door.

I let out sigh and felt tears beginning to fall down my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walked down the loud and busy streets with my hands in my coat pockets until I reached Central Perk, my eyes still watery. I opened the door and walked to Gunther who was behind the counter and ordered my usual.

“Bad day?” He asked me.

I gave a small laugh, “Well, when your mom is the one and only Rachel Green, things are not that simple.”

“I can only imagine what It’d be like (Y/n).” He smiled at me, “You work really hard and you should be proud of yourself.”

I looked up at him, shocked. The only person who really tells me that is Aunt Monica.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” I replied.

“Anytime Little Green.” I chuckle at the nickname.

I sat down on the couch, waiting for my order to be served to me. As soon as it was, I took a sip of my drink and tried not to think of what happened with mom.

It had been about 5 minutes, when I felt someone sit next to me. I looked to see who it was and was surprised when I saw that it was Pheobe.

She noticed that realised she was next to me, “You okay?”

“I guess.” I replied, feeling the tears brim at the corners of my eyes again.

She sighed, “No. No you’re not, I can tell.” She saw me wipe away my tears. “It’s okay to cry you know, please don’t feel like you can’t.”

Her words tipped me over the edge and I burst into tears, feeling like I would never be able to stop. Pheobe wrapped her arms around me and put my stray strands of hair behind my ears. She whispered soothing words into my ear like ‘it’s all going to be okay’.

After I had calmed down I leaned into her more, not wanting her to ever let go of me. “I don’t see why you are wasting your time on me Aunt Pheobe.”

She laughed lightly, pulling me closer, “Trust me (Y/n) you’re worth all my time.”

“Did someone send you to come and see me?” I asked her.

“Oh of course not. They don’t even know I’m here.” She replied casually.

I sniffed, “Then why are you here?”

Pheobe looked down at me, “(Y/n), I know that we don’t have the same backstory and everything, but I do kind of know what you’re going through and I want to help you-“

I interrupted her, “You’re not going to make me speak to a counsellor again are you?”

She started speaking again, “Oh god no! I just noticed how much finding out who your biological parents are means to you, and thought that I could maybe help you find them. That is if you want me to, of course.”

I gasped, hugging her tighter. “Pheobe! That would be great!”

“Yay! I’m so glad you like the idea! So I was thinking we could start with-“ Pheobe stopped as she noticed the door opening and mom walking in, spotting me and Pheobe.

She walked over to us, “Pheobe! I told you to not go looking for her. She needs to take responsibility for her actions and apologise.”

“Rachel, she has got nothing to apologise for.” Pheobe argued back, clutching onto me tight. “And I also have a feeling you didn’t come here for me.”

Mom ignored her and looked at me, “Uhm, I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be spending the night at Ross’ place and Monica will be at our apartment for when you get home, she’s making you some dinner. And I saved some pages on the fashion catalogue for you, I found some things I thought you would like.”

I gave a slight smile, “Thanks.” She gave me one last look before walking out.

I made sure she was completely gone before looking back at Pheobe.

“You were saying?”

[beelspillowpet]

Am i allowed to make another request, if its no trouble, im sorry!!! An MC whose an empath? An empath is someone so in tune with others emotions and feelings, they know exactly what that person is feeling, and often helps them. In public they can feel all the energies, whether negative or positive and it really impacts the empath

I'm an empath, but it's so overwhelming. I get exhausted so easily, and forget to take of myself, even to the point im up all night helping my friends. How do you think everyone would react to an MC like that?

Again i am so so sorry for bothering you, i just love your writing!!! Please have a good day!!💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Heya again! You can request as many things as you like, there’s no limit! You’d never be a bother to me either! So don’t fret! Sorry it took me so long to get to this lol. I love empath stuff, because I personally HC’d that Asmo is an empath himself! Have a blessed day yourself! <3

There’s SO many things that come with being an empath that I didn’t really feel like covering everything, but I covered things I thought would be nice with the brothers! Hope that’s okay!!!

MC is An Empath

You can’t even have a “vacation” in peace. You’re forced to a new realm you’ve never heard of before, and Immediately you can tell you’ll constantly be exhausted. With each brother there’s some sort of problem that you can tell immediately. The most troubling brother probably has to be Satan.

There’s so many violent and negative emotions coming from him that it’s almost painful to be near him. The dark miasma that’s invisible to the naked eye- that smile he always carries that seems so natural, but is so forced...

Working with him is less than pleasing. You can tell when he gets irritated, and he’s trying not to show it. With how easily his emotions rub off on you, it’s become impossible to try and not be like him. You’ve snapped and had a breakdown once or twice because of this.

Being around Leviathan can be exhausting too. There’s a dark cloud around his head with every little thing. He could be jealous of a toy, or of a wild animal. That feeling effects you, too. When he rambles on about his anime or his games, it feels like the world that’s been built in his head is bursting to life right in front of you.

He sobs over the conflict between two lovers in an anime he’d just finished and the sight of him crying makes you cry. Those two really meant a lot to him, didn’t it? You’d have to watch it again with him. Not that you needed to, but he looked like he could use a friend.

Then there’s Lucifer with his ranting. He’ll talk about the importance of the exchange program for Lord Diavolo’s reputation and why it’s imperative that you do this and that.

You’re still a bit tired after he’s done with his rambling on, but it’s not like you don’t get it. He’s like of like a father, having high expectations of you. Which is fine and dandy, but you can’t really meet his expectations if you’re just sitting here listening to him explain them away to you.

You can physically feel how important it is to Lucifer that you do things perfectly. It puts a strain on you mentally to have to study so hard with few breaks, but your time relaxing is spent alone, where you can recharge.

It sort of upsets the boys that you spend time alone. They can’t help it if they’re a bit overwhelming... but the time you do spend with them is great. They just wish they could have more of it. For your sake, they try to tone back the antics so that you don’t need so much time trying to recharge by yourself.

It’s probably it’s worst with Mammon. He’s a very loud and excitable person, bless his soul. He has a habit of grabbing and holding on to you, then rambling on about your his and that he doesn’t want any of his brothers touching you. Then his brothers complain that he’s hogging you, and the whole argument starts all over again...

So much for toning it back, huh?

One thing you were capable of doing well, was avoiding the lies and manipulations of Belphie. You didn’t call him out for it immediately, but it’s saved you and the others... some greif. Things turned out better in the end for you all, thanks to your instincts.

Something you’ve discovered thanks to Beelzebub, was your love of nature. He’s offered to take you on walks instead of you hiding in your room when you need space. It’s there that you start to take up photography, or another medium of art. You’re glad that Beel is mostly quiet while you two walk as well, opting to only bring things up when he can tell something is bothering you too.

He must be something like an empath with Belphie, they have such a strong connection. You’ve also noticed it with Asmo. Maybe all of them are something of an empath, really?

Although obvious with Mammon, you need to set boundaries with all of the brothers. But it’s incredibly hard to do that, because trying to establish any at all could lead to conflict.

For example, telling Mammon you need space could make him feel like he’s smothering you. Offend him by thinking you don’t like him, when in reality sometimes he can be... a bit much.

Bringing this up with any of the brothers together is sure to cause a ruckus too. Because one will likely complain that it’s not fair (Leviathan) and another will tell them to shut up because it’s not about you!( Satan) And then another will try to be understanding and soft spoken about it, respecting your boundaries (Beelzebub) and on and on...

Though when life gets too tough, the one person you can always turn to is Asmodeus. Like mentioned before; he’s likely an Empath as well.

He spends a lot of time away from the house, and even though he’s partying a lot, he doesn’t have to deal with negative emotions. You go to him and he melts your stress right away. There is no drama, there is no grief about personal life. It’s just you two. Talking about whatever (mostly himself).

He gives you a relaxing day in his bathroom. A special Asmodeus spa treatment, and a trip to Goetia to get your hair done. There’s nothing quite like a day with Asmo, as he can help you feel more than recharged. He really knows how to make you feel at ease.

[ssamie]

six. “friends die together”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide 

masterlist.           suicide freak!

kenma slowly opened his eyes. the dim rays of the sun were slowly peeking through his bedroom window as he stretched and rolled around his bed, wrapping himself up in a blanket burrito as he felt his eyes slowly fluttering close once again. 

it had been atleast a week since he's actually gotten sleep, and now he's just trying to relish in the feeling of rest before he completely disregards it again. 

all of a sudden, his phone rang. 

"what the.." he mumbled with a groan 

it was currently five in the morning, and he knew kuroo was smart enough not to call him. especially since kenma would usually just be gaming or would just straight up ignore him. 

"hello?" he muttered to the phone, not bothering to check the ID 

"good morning!" y/n's chirpy la-di-da voice resonated from the phone 

immediately, kenma groaned and rolled his eyes. he had to fight the urge of hanging up the phone then and there. 

"what do you want? and why are you calling me so early in the morning?" kenma asked 

"now, now! don't be so stingy kenma-kun!" she laughed "i just wanted to check up on ya, that's all" she said, followed by soft humming of a melody 

kenma blinked as he groggily listened to her words. "oh. okay.." 

"thanks for that, i guess.." he said 

"aww! your voice is all deep and gravelly in the morning! very hot." she chirped 

kenma sighed. he could practically sense the stupid flirty smile appearing on her face. "and you sound oh so happy. as always." kenma chirped back sarcastically

a small smile grazed his lips as she started laughing on the other line. 

"oh, kenma! you're so funny!" she chuckled "when have i ever been happy?" 

"wait what-" 

"anyways, kenma-kun.." she trailed off, her cheerful tone now dropped as an eerily serious and guarded one replaced it. 

"y-yes?" kenma gulped 

"im afraid im in a tight spot as we speak. its quite critical. please come to the location i will send you." she spoke in a monotonous tone 

"huh? wait!" kenma exclaimed. he sat up on his bed, subconsciously reaching for his nekoma jacket which was messily laid out on the foot of his bed. "what are you talking about?" he asked, his hands were shaking, as well as his voice. 

"its a crisis! only you can help!" she said 

"okay. i-i'll be there.." 

humming under her breath, y/n patiently waited for kenma to arrive. she didn't have so much faith at first, but once she heard the soft thumping of feet on the ground, she grinned. 

"w-what happened?" kenma asked through ragged breaths as he skidded to a halt infront of her "a-and what are you wearing?" kenma asked 

he took notice of her rather formal attire, laying underneath the sand colored coat she had. his brows then shot up as he calmed his ragged breathing. 

"is this because of your weird detective work thing? did you get trapped?" kenma asked worriedly. when she didn't answer, he simply panicked even more. "why did you call me?! you should've called those other detective people!" kenma exclaimed 

"i got in myself" she admitted with a small innocent smile 

"what?" kenma deadpanned, now starting to regret running atleast eight blocks just to help her 

"well, you see.. i heard there's a way to commit suicide by getting stuck in an oil drum. so i decided to give it a shot" she said with the same innocent smile. she then chuckled sheepishly as she started sinking deeper into the oil drum. 

"but now that i've wedged myself in this deep, i can't get out on my own" she said 

kenma simply stared her down, looking unamused, tired and annoyed. "i see." he says 

"i think i might die" she pouted as she sank deeper into the drum. 

kenma grunted and sat on the ground, sitting a few feet from the drum she was stuck in. he was kind of impressed on how her whole body hadn't snapped in two yet. 

"well, isn't that what you wanted?" kenma said with a huff of annoyance 

"i like suicide" she said with a scoff, sounding somewhat offended "but i don't like suffering and pain! why would i?" 

"i see" kenma said with a sigh. he sat up from the ground and narrowed his eyes, trying to look for a way to free her from the oil drum

"also, i learned this only after i stuffed myself in here, but it wasn't even a suicide method!" she laughed 

"but, it was actually a torture method from the-" 

before she could even finish her sentence, she was cut off as kenma pushed the oil drum over, sending her and the drum rolling off. he let out a huge breath of air as he cradled his aching hands. 

"ni-nice job, kenma-kun" she squeaked out as she wiggled free of the drum. "but now.. we have only an hour left before school starts" she said as she patted down her clothes and combed her fingers through her hair 

"and i heard from nekomata-san that he has some news that you boys would surely love" she said as she stretched her aching muscles 

"are we really gonna move past the fact that you wedged yourself in an oil drum!?" kenma exclaimed in aggravation 

". . ." she looked at him with a dumb smile before sending him a wink and a thumbs up. 

"yep! we sure are!" 

"i hate you so much" kenma muttered 

she smirked teasingly and loomed over his shoulder "hehehe~ well if you hate me so much, then why go through all the trouble to help me?" she cooed 

kenma scoffed and flicked her away. "because we're.." he trailed off "nevermind.." a small blush covered his cheeks faintly, but it was enough to get her attention. 

she chuckled lowly and poked his cheeks. she narrowed her eyes and tauntingly stared him down. "oya? what's this, kenma-kun? do you like me or something?~" she teased 

kenma flinched and covered his cheeks with his hands "no! no i don't!" he quickly denied "i just thought that.." he muttered quietly

"since we're friends and all.. i thought it'd be right to help you.." kenma admitted bashfully 

stunned from his words, she couldn't really do anything but stare at him blankly with widened eyes. "we're friends?" she asked 

kenma spluttered at her response, suddenly feeling anxious and embarrassed, thinking that he overstepped their 'relationship' 

"um- i mean.. i just thought that since we've been hanging out but.." kenma said nervously. he fiddled with his hands as he looked down at his feet, too embarrassed to look her in the eyes. 

"sorry, i guess i overstepped. sorry for misreading things" he apologised 

finally realising what she's done, she gasped in horror as she looked at his heartbroken expression  "oh my gosh." she muttered "im so sorry!" 

she frantically patted his back, and stroked his hair "i-i meant like- i didnt know you considered me as a friend!" she exclaimed  "i kind of thought you just see me as a suicidal leech or something!" she shrieked 

"im sorry kenma! kill me now!" she exclaimed dramatically 

kenma finally looked up to see her tearing some of her bandages off, only for her to tie it tightly around her neck. 

"im sorry!" she cried as she squeezed tightly, trying to strangle herself to death 

"wait! don't do that!" kenma said in panic. his hands pried the bandages off and hastily threw them away. 

"you don't have to kill yourself over me" kenma sighed 

she sniffled and crushed him in her arms "kenma! you are most certainly my most treasured friend!" she cried 

"i would die for you and with you!" 

"let's not go too far" kenma said with a small smile 

"shall we start with the double suicide now?" she asks, fully ignoring his interjection 

"no <3" 

"fukurodani?" she muttered, looking quite confused and clueless 

"yes. it seems a three-day practice match has been scheduled" nekomata said with a smile  "their coach suggested the idea and who was i to decline, am i right?" nekomata chuckled 

"this will be a good opportunity for the team to train and explore new ways of playing for future tournaments." nekomata then looked at y/n and sent her a close eyed smile. "and a chance for you to test your managing skills, y/n-san" he said 

she nodded in agreement. 

"well then, now that that's settled.. you’re free to go! rest up and eat well! you'll be playing nonstop starting tomorrow" nekomata said as he ushered them out of the gym 

"thanks, coach!" the team yelled 

as the team arrives by the gate, they started to disperse. fukunaga, inouka, teshiro, and shibayama ended up declining the offer of an afterschool hangout. they claimed they needed the rest for upcoming games, so they left them be. 

"bye guys! bye y/n-senpai! see you tomorrow!!" inouka yelled from across the street. the energetic first year was waving both his arms around while shibayama drags him along. fukunaga sends them a quick nod and a small wave before they completely disappear from sight. 

"hm, so what do you guys wanna do?" kai asks with a smile 

"let's eat!" lev suggested with a grin 

"sure. where should we go? i don't really have a particular craving right now" kai said as he looked at his friends expectantly 

"we should eat at the diner near that convenience store" yaku says "it's cheap and they serve great food" 

simply humming to herself, y/n takes a quick look at the boys who seemed to be lost in their own conversations. her (e/c) colored eyes then landed on kenma, who seemed to busy with his game. 

kuroo was holding on his bag, making sure the pudding-head wouldn't walk into oncoming traffic. she smiled at the boy, taking in his overwhelmingly beautiful features. 

yamamoto was beside her, ranting about his friends from karasuno and their 'goddess of a manager' 

"we’re here!" lev unnecessarily announced as he skipped into the said diner.  "what should we eat?" he asks 

"fish-" ; "meat-" 

yaku and kuroo freeze and look at each other. their eyes silently roam one another as they look at the other with judgment. 

"hah? are we really doing this again, yakkun?" kuroo scowled. the taller bedheaded male leaned down to get all up in yaku's face, while the latter simply did the same 

"dont call me that stupid nickname, bedhead!" yaku scowled as well "and fish? pssh, what are you a grandpa?" yaku said with a snicker 

"could you stop making comments proving you lack docosahexaenoic acid?" kuroo sneered in aggravation 

"you're ought to eat more fish to fix that.. maybe even your height problem!" kuroo taunted 

yaku scowled and gripped the taller boy's collar "your stupid face is begging to be hit!" 

"no! kuroo-san, don't let him hit you!" lev yelled "he's feral!" 

"oi! shut up!" taketora hissed as he covered lev's mouth with his hand 

yaku turned to face lev, evidently irked and angered by his comment. "hah?! come here, you tall lampost! -" 

"wah! yaku-san i didnt even do anything!" lev exclaimed with teary eyes as the shorter boy continued to kick him 

kai and taketora then took initiative to calm their friends down. partially because they didn't want anyone injured. but mostly because they were fighting infront of the diner, and it was starting to get embarrassing. 

"ke-n-ma~" she cooed in a sing song tone 

kenma sighed and quickly glanced at her, before averting his attention back to his game "what?" he said 

she smiled and laced their arms together. she then pointed to a bridge not so far away from where they were standing. "you see that bridge?" she asked "and the pretty river under it?" 

"oh god. i see where this is going." kenma groaned. he turned off his game and followed her finger, eyeing the bridge she was talking about. 

"wouldn't it be so nice if we just jump off-" 

"how about we don't do that?" kenma cut her off with a sigh 

"but you're my friend right?" she whined childishly "don't friends die together?!" 

"how about we don't die at all. doesn't that sound better?" kenma tried to convince her with a sheepish smile 

her smile fell as she narrowed his eyes, seemingly disgusted and offended by his statement. 

"what? no, not at all." 

[tomdutch]

hi, sarah! how are you? i hope you're having a lovely week!! i just wanted to let you know how much i adore sun and moon. i reread it last night and god, it's so good. how do you even come up with the dialogues ??? its insane how good you are at creating unique voices for each character. same goes for break my heart. i think it's one of many reasons why i am in love with your social media aus. speaking of - THE RANDOM TEXTS WITH BF!PETER. ESPECIALLY THE ONE WITH THE CAT ??? pls im in love. it was so cute.

and of course, your fic can we kiss forever? i read it last year when i was pretty new on tumblr and i didn't say anything about it because i was am shy (im sorry but i was so scared to talk to you 😭 you're kinda intimidating but like, in a good way idk im sorry if this offends you but yk you're also adorable ok I'll shut up) ANYWAY so the fic, it was honestly the cutest thing. whenever you write something about peter, i literally die. because i know it's going to be top tier. your peter blurbs are like to die for. anyway, i can't really pick a favourite cuz im in love with everything you write. im sorry for coming into your inbox and ranting but yeah, thank you for sharing your writing with us :")

M omg hi bub!! how are you, i hope you've been doing well :")) <3

ahhh thank you so much like!!!! i did not expect this at all i'm just sitting here rereading your ask with thee biggest heart eyes wtf thank you !!!! sadly you're not the first person to tell me i'm intimidating in a good way 😭😭 idk what it is abt me that gives off these vibes but it's ok i'll make peace with that 😭😭 thank you so much for all your kind words on my peter fics like omg i'm genuinely floored and so, so flattered and grateful :(( you're so kind and you'e an amazing writer yourself so it sincerely means a lot to me :')) you can rant in my inbox abt anything at any time omg <3

[pudding-head-kenma]

rant sorry <3

tw: racism and homophobia. i use the word f4gg0t because i’m gay so if that is harmful to you you can go ahead and skip this one <3 mwah i love you

can you guys just let me know if im crazy and sensitive or if my parents are in the wrong lol

we were having a conversation and basically they throw around faggot and the n word a lot

and they just end up justifying it with “people are too sensitive nowadays, im not racist or homophobic but i think we should be able to joke about it? when i was younger we made faggot jokes all the time”

and im just trying to explain that the problem isnt that people became more sensitive, it’s just that in their time we wouldnt speak up about these issues because they were enforced as normal in society

we wouldn’t speak out about you calling a man with pink clothes a fag as a joke, because we couldn’t

we’re not sensitive now, we just have more (and thats being generous but whatever) freedom of speech now ?? 

we’re not more sensitive, we’re actually, for the first time in ages, speaking out for ourselves 

i dont know why its so important to them to make racist and homophobic jokes. why is that your type of humour? dark humour isnt making fun of other people and things they’re daily targeted about, no matter how many times you try to justify that “it’s just dark humour!!!” 

“like if im mad at someone ill call them a faggot, doesnt mean i hate gay people” youre using our identity as a fucking insult, it doesnt matter if you directly hate us or commit hate crimes against us, its the fact that its so normalised in your head that faggot/gay attributes is a fucking insult that you use it to offend someone youre mad at

its the equivalent of calling them trash. youre saying “im mad at you, so youre trash.” but you’re calling them a faggot as if being a faggot is an offence

does that make sense??? or am i just being fucking sensitive

i start questioning myself around my parents ngl

[13lov]

lucy (m)

pairing: pornstar!taehyung, tattooed!taehyung x pornstar!reader

genre: pornstar au, humor, smut, light f2l, angst if you squint.

word count: 8,305

summary: after reading a few more titles of the videos you’ve uploaded, taehyung has come to the conclusion that you’re the hottest fucking dumbass he’s ever seen and so desperately wants to fuck.

warning(s): smut (masturbation, sex toys, unprotected sex, fingering, creampies ; mention of: face fucking, squirting, gxg), !ENDGAME SPOILERS!.

a/n: inspired by that video of taehyung with the fake tattoos…good lord… sorry i posted this later than i said i would, some stuff came up :( not proofread so i apologize for mistakes.

With one final thrust into the petite girl beneath him, Taehyung was fast to pull his dick completely out of her with the sigh of relief. Sure, he sighed because it was in the script, but he would’ve done it even if it weren’t apart of the porno.

He flopped on the bed, right next to the girl who was playing the role of his horny step-sister. He visualized the script in his head, and waited a few seconds before turning to his co-star and saying, “I gave you what you wanted, now, can I have my skateboard back?”

“AND CUT!” the director yells, standing up from his chair across the room. Taehyung’s manager, Seokjin, enters the set with a bathrobe in one hand and water bottle in the other and hands Tae both. “Everyone did a great job today! Remember to report back here tomorrow at two for the promo shoot, got it?!” the director asks, and everyone confirms they’ll be there.

Taehyung stands up from the messy bed to put on his bathrobe while his former co-star, Rosie, covers herself in the sheets. ‘If you’re so fucking shy, why are you doing porn?’Taehyung thinks to himself, annoyed.

“You did really good, I enjoyed it. And, you’re an amazing actor. Not many stars are good at acting, but you are.” Rosie compliments sweetly and Taehyung feels bad for what he originally thought of her.

“Thanks,” is all he can say to her because (1) he can’t compliment her back because it would be a lie and there’s no need for that, (2) he’s not interested in talking to her, and (3) he’s ready to head back to his trailer and take a shower. “See you tomorrow,” he adds, because he doesn’t want to seem like one of those stuck-up pornstars he hates so badly.

He then leaves the rented airbnb home and takes the quick walk to his trailer with Jin right by his side. “What’d you think?” Taehyung asks.

Seokjin makes a face as he thinks of an answer. “It was…decent. Not your best.”

Tae scoffed, offended, “It wasn’t my porn, I’m only here to get her some clout. You think I enjoy wasting my time with newbies when I could be with a professional? Hell no!” his rant goes on as he approaches his white trailer, opening the door and holding it so Jin can walk in first (because he’s polite like that).

“Then why film with newbies when you hate it so much? Oh wait, because their team is willing to pay big money for the number one pornstar on ‘nexxxtdoor.com’. That’s why.” Seokjin stated once he entered the trailer and sat on the white couch, Taehyung following shortly behind.

Jin was right, Tae was the number one star on the number one porn site in the country. Maybe people were drawn to his blonde mullet that was usually accompanied by one of his many headbands, or maybe it was the floral tattoos decorated nicely across his neck that drove people crazy. But it was probably just the plain old fact that Taehyung was hot, had a pretty dick, and knew how to use it.

“You’re damn right about that,” Tae says, stripping himself of his bathrobe and little clothing. He doesn’t bother to lock to door of the trailer or even cover himself up in front of Seokjin; everyone had already seen him naked, all boundaries have burned down.

“God, I’m so hot,” Jin says suddenly, and Taehyung looks over to see his manager has moved to stand directly in front of the mirror above the couch, looking directly at his reflection. “Maybe I should start doing porn just to give you a run for your money.”

“Ha!” Taehyung laughs, walking to the standing shower and turning on the hot water. “As gorgeous as you are, I’m a pretty tough guy to beat. Aren’t those two guys still fighting for second place? What are their names?” Taehyung snaps his fingers as tried to remember the names of the two porn stars fighting for second place like a bunch of losers.

“Suga, and uh, that Jimin guy. But they actually dropped a few places…” Seokjin’s tone changed, he seemed nervous.

“Oh, yeah?” Tae asked, stepping into the hot shower, “Have people finally gotten bored of them?” He grabs the white bar of soap from its appropriate holder and begins to cleanse himself, starting off with his neck and shoulders.

“Not exactly, people still like them, there’s just this…uh…”

“Spit it out, Jin.” Taehyung demands, moving the bar of soap down to his chest and belly. Small, white bubbles form at the surface but are quickly washed away with the water pouring down from the shower head.

“There’s this new girl who’s going viral really quick; she’s number two.” Jin admits with a nervous cough.

“A girl,” Taehyung repeats, “I like girls. She must be pretty good if she’s growing so quickly.” It’s true; (Taehyung does indeed like girls) it took Tae two years to become number one on nexxxtdoor, so whoever was able to pass stars as good as Jimin and Suga in such a short amount of time had to be fucking amazing.

“She sure is…something. Her name is ‘Lucy Fer’; look her up when you get home. But, yeah, I’m off to go pick up your next script; see you later.” Jin leaved without another word, and Taehyung is still in the shower.

“Lucy Fer…” he repeats in a whisper, “Lucy Fer…”

Taehyung does as he’s told later that night and types in the name of his possible nemesis on nexxtdoor.com. He clicks the little arrow and the search results pop up in a matter of seconds; your channel popping up in full display.

LUCY FER  ✓ @lucy_fer im basically a youtuber that taker her clothes off hehe </3 4.7M Subscribers | 192 Videos | Joined 1 Year Ago

Taehyung is confused by your biography, but decides he’ll find out what you mean after looking at some of your videos. And, just by the titles alone, he can see why so many people enjoy watching you:

FUCKING MYSELF WITH A DILDO WHILE I THINK ABOUT MY FUCKBOY EX :( 1,343,400 views

FAILED MATH CLASS BUT I STILL KNOW HOW TO SQRT **NOT CLICKBAIT** 3,473,621 views

ex bf fucks my face while frank ocean plays in my airpod$!!# (ft. namjoooooon) 2,372,084 views

After reading a few more titles of the videos you’ve uploaded, Taehyung has come to the conclusion that you’re the hottest fucking dumbass he’s ever seen and so desperately wants to fuck.

It’s weird for him to feel desperate for the girl literally coming for his career, especially when he hadn’t even seen you in action yet. And for that reason, he doesn’t like you. Does he think you’re hot? Yes. Does he want to fuck you? Of course. Does he dislike you? Actually, yes, but only becaus you’re

He sighed, straightening up in his desk chair as he kept his eyes on the illuminated screen in front of him. Curiosity got the best of him and soon enough, he was scrolling past all of your videos until he gets to your very first one:

GIRL GETS SUPER WET AFTER FEELING APPRECIATED 15,192,604 views

He notices that in every thumbnail, you’re wearing a pair of red devil horns and when you’re very rarely accompanied by someone else, they’re also wearing their own set of horns, identical to yours. Even in your display picture, it’s an up-close photo of you, your hair is down and it’s dripping wet, the devil horns are on full display, and your tongue is stuck out with a lit lighter dangerously close to it.

You’re the devil. Satan. Lucifer. Lucy Fer and oh, he finally understands your stage name.

He smiles lightly and shakes his head in realization. Taehyung’s about to close the laptop and call it a night - he has a long day tomorrow - but, he decides just watching oneof videos wouldn’t hurt. I mean, you are his competition, right? He has to see why you’re so popular.

Taehyung scrolls for a few seconds before clicking on a video titled “masturbating and crying about how broke i am (ft. namjoon aka my ex bf lol)“.

The video buffers quickly, taking Taehyung by surprise. For some reason he pauses it, grabs his laptop whole, and makes his way over to his king-sized bed. He tells himself it’s because he’s going to fall asleep afterwards, but he knows that he’s retreated to the bed for other reasons.

Once he’s in a comfortable position with the Macbook in front of him, Tae finally hits the triangle-shaped button and the video plays.

Your bed and pillows are the only thing in the frame at first, then you step in and sit on the edge of the bed. You’re wearing a red skater skirt that’s a tad bit short, a lacy, black bralette, and your signature devil horns.

You stare at the camera in silence for awhile and Taehyung wonders when you’re finally gonna get down to business. That’s when the camera suddenly zooms in on your face, on the single tear that comes from your left eye and makes its way down your cheek.

"Oh,” Tae says, shocked. He wasn’t actually expecting you to cry, though the title said you would.

The camera zooms from out of your face and goes back to the full body shot of you on the bed. “Why the fuck am I so broke?” you ask, there’s a smile on your face, but another tear slips from your eyes. Taehyung then decides for himself that you are a fucking maniac.

With the way the video is edited, Tae feels like he’s watching one of those popular YouTubers; like Emma Chamberlin or Antonia Garza. Your bio had described you perfectly: you truly were just a YouTuber who took her clothes off, and everyone (including Taehyung) loved it. It was a great idea on your part, since literally no one else made homemade porn the way you did.

With you, it felt so natural and relatable and not at all like the washed-up pornstars that came before you. Your viewers loved you, and they were so attached to you. Though you considered yourself to be just another lost, twenty-three year old, your viewers thought you were perfect because of how honest you are. Being so close to them, you didn’t even mind when they called you Y/N, your real name.

Even at times when you weren’t uploading videos or going live on nexxxtdoor, you held a PG-13 rated Instagram live that allowed you to speak to your supporters on a less intense platform.

You were thankful for them, and they were thankful for you.

In the screen in front of him, Taehyung watches and listens as you talk about your card getting declined at Starbucks as you unclasp your bra. You pull the black straps down slowly until they completely fall off your arms, your boobs spilling out nicely. Your nipples are hard because of how cold it is in your apartment, but you let the people watching think it’s because you’re horny.

Though only the top half of your body is bare, Taehyung still admires you. Many of the girls had had worked with had fake boobs or a fake ass for the most part, not that it was a bad thing, it was just nice to see something he wasn’t used to.

You’re complaining again, this time about how you received a parking ticket that morning and you have no clue how you’re gonna pay for it with the amount of student debt you’re in. With a sigh, you wipe away another pathetic tear before turning on all fours with your ass in view of the camera; the black thong underneath your skirt hardly hiding anything.  

Your hand reaches under your pillow and pulls out a white vibrator. It looks dull and worn out, but no one really expecting you to have a top of the line one that costs $100.

“The police officer that gave me the ticket was pretty hot, though,” you say whilst getting into your original position on the bed. Taehyung then pauses the video, not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because he’s now realizing his hand had slipped past his pajama pants and he had began to palm himself through his boxers.

He can’t jerk off to the enemy, it’d only give you more power. But, he can follow the enemy on Instagram.

So he does exactly that.

lucy_fer is live…come watch!

The little banner pops up on Taehyung’s screen, staying for a few seconds before disappearing in his notifications tab. He considers the tempting invitation as he stares at the YouTube video that had been playing before being interrupted.

Sure, it was just an Instagram live and it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he watched. But, what if you thought otherwise? What if you thought he was only watching just so he could scope out his competition?

“Screw it,” Tae mumbled before pulling down his notifications bar and clicking on the Instagram banner. It loaded within a few seconds and soon enough, Taehyung’s presence had been announced in the stream.

k.taehyung has joined.

But your face was turned elsewhere, talking to someone who was out of view of the camera. Secretly, Tae was hoping you’d turn back in time to acknowledge that fact that he was watching. And, much to his luck, you turned back towards the camera just as his was going away.

“Three hundred already?” you asked, watching the view count go up. “You guys must be bored.”

nam_joonie yep. why dont u take that shirt off and put on a show.

You read your ex-boyfriend’s comment with a sigh, leaning back on your couch as more comments from new viewers filled the screen. “You all know Namjoon,” you said to the viewers, grabbing the cup filled with water that stood on the coffee table next to your propped up phone. “I apologize that my ex is such a perv.” You took a sip of your drink as you roommate, Jennie, leaned into the frame to read a comment that caught her interest.

pinkszn.lisa girl fuck your ex, kim taehyung is here

Once Jennie read the comment out loud the water in your mouth was done for with the way you had begun to cough it up in shock.

You had heard of Taehyung, of course, and it was a surprise enough when he followed you on Instagram a few hours ago. He was intimating, to say the least, with his tattoos and blonde mullet and headbands and…wow. In fact, he was so intimidating, you hadn’t even watched any of his pornos. You knew he was good at his craft and didn’t need to watch any of his stuff to prove it.

When you were able to finally catch your breath, you turned to Jennie, shaking your head in shock. “Stop lying,” you choked out.

Seeing this as a second opportunity from hod himself to make his presence known, Taehyung typed out a comment.

k.taehyung hi hahaha

Rainbow hearts continued to fill up the screen as you read Tae’s comment whith wide eyes. He was actually here, watching you awkwardly get choked up over him.

“Taehyung!” you said suddenly, probably a little too excited. You cleared your throat as a way to calm down, “I…we…” nervously, you looked towards Jennie with a desperate facial expression that yelled ‘help me’.

“Why don’t you…guest him?” Jennie suggested.

“Oh, yes! Can I guest you, Taehyung?” You asked hopefully, though you already had requested for him to join before he could process what was going on. Sitting up on his couch, he looked down at the floor where his housemates Jungkook and Hoseok were sat in front of the television watching whatever sports game was on.

Of course Taehyung could afford to live alone, but these truly were his best friends.

“I’m about to go live. Try not to talk too much.” he said.

“That was a terrible pass,” Jeongguk said to Hoseok, clearly ignoring Taehyung’s request as he kept his eye on the basketball game. “I could pass better than that.”

Hoseok shakes his head, grabbing a few pieces of buttery popcorn that sat in the bowl on his lap. “You can’t even play basketball that good.”

“My point exactly! I could pass better than Williamson and I’m not even good at basketball; that’s tragic.”

With an eyeroll, Taehyung accepts the request to appear in your stream and gets himself in position with his phone camera, taking off his thick, clear glasses only momentarily to properly capture his face in the frame. Seconds later, the stream connect and he appears on the bottom half of the screen with you on top.

You open your mouth in shock once Taehyung is on screen then bring an arm to cover your eyes. “Woah, Taehyung! No shirt?!”

“Woah, Y/N, no bra?” he fired back, pointing out the obvious fact that your nipples were clearly hard under the thin, white shirt you wore. To anyone watching, they could easily mistake the two of you for lifelong friends with the way you were comfortable enough to joke around like this.

Or maybe it was just cheesy pornstar humor.

Slowly, you brought your forearm down from your eyes and got a good luck at Taehyung. He was indeed topless, flower tattoos on full display along with the gold chain that hung loosely around neck. He was a gorgeous sight, to say the least, and it’s no wonder why so many people enjoyed seeing him preform such filthy acts on his partners; never the same person twice, but always getting them to cum more than once.

You then realize this is your first time getting at good look at Tae’s face, other than the few Instagram photos you skimmed through when he followed you the day before. You also then realize you’d been staring at him in awkward silence since you brought your arm away.

You clear your throat, “touché. It’s nice to, like, see you for the first time.”

Taehyung raises a brow, had you never watched any of his stuff? He wants to ask, but also doesn’t want to seem cocky; it’s not like you were obligated to watch his pornos.

He decides to ask, the curiosity is killing him.

“I’m guessing that means you haven’t seen my stuff…” he says.

Now you’re embarrassed and wish you could go back in time and never make that comment about seeing him for thee first time. But you can’t, all you can do is shake your head and say, “I’m sorry, I don’t watch porn.”

“You’re the second most watched pornstar in the country and you don’t even watch porn?” he asks, confused.

You realize how stupid you sound and become embarrassed again. “Wait, no! Not like that, I mean. I watch my own stuff and I have some friends who do porn and I watch them…but that’s for support. I don’t get off to them or anything. Not because I can’t! I just…don’t want to…masturbate to my friends.”

It’s silent as Taehyung tries to take in what you said.

nam_joonie suddenly im not bored anymore

Although you and Namjoon have been broken up for quite some time now, he still knew when you were nervous about something, and that’s exactly what you were now.

You pretend you hadn’t seen Namjoon’s comment the same way to choose to ignore Jennie’s silent laughter fit. “I know who you are, though, Kim Taehyung,“ you nod as if you’re trying to reassure him while Jennie tries her best not to pass out from second-hand embarrassment.

Tae tilts his head up when he chuckles and you’re given an even better view of his neck and the tattoos that accompany it. If given the opportunity, any person would love to leave little purple bruises up and down his throat. But not you (you weren’t like other girls (and boys for that matter)), too afraid to mess with the beautiful artwork that Taehyung truly was.

And on top of that, everything about him was cute and sexy at the same and it nearly made your head explode. For example: the fact that he had neck tattoos was sexy, and the fact that they were flowers and butterflies made it cute. His blonde mullet was sexy, and the baby pink headband he usually wore underneath it was cute.

Then there was his smile. The smirk was sexy, but his boxy smile is what made your heart flutter. You were beyond nervous.

“I love your tattoos,” you compliment, “do you have anymore?”

“Mmhm!” he hums excitedly and it seems like the butterflies on his neck have made their way down to your belly. He holds his left hand up, showing off yet another butterfly tattoo – a blue one. “And I have one one each thigh of a bird.”

nam_joonie omg taehyung ur tattoos are so hot ugh the sexual tension between u two is killing me just fuck one of her holes already!!!

Namjoon isn’t the only one commenting, but it’s the only comment your eyes let you see. Taehyung sees it to and wonders if your ex boyfriend’s bitter jealousy would be a problem in whatever relationship he’s trying to form with you.

“Maybe I will,” Taehyung says with a smirk and no context at all, but everyone had seen Namjoon’s comment – made it hard to miss with it being so long. If you had water in your mouth, you’d be choking on it. And Jennie, who was off to your side, had her jaw slacked open at Tae’s straightforward and risky reply.

user1 we-

user2 TEA !

user3 and i oop-

…And more twitter slang flood the chat. You and Taehyung stay on live for another half hour, Namjoon doesn’t comment again so you assume he left after what Taehyung said. The rest of the broadcast goes well, consisting of you and Tae joking and talking and flirting with Jennie occasionally making fun of you or one of his roommates yelling about the basketball game.

It’s nice talking to Taehyung, it’s like he’s managed to become your friend in the short amount of time you’ve talked to him. When he listens to you speak, he pays attention and doesn’t interrupt you. And when you interrupt him when he’s speaking, he doesn’t mind because he likes seeing you get so excited. He’s literally the perfect boy.

So perfect that you want to keep talking to him forever, even when your eyelids get heavy and demand sleep. Jennie has already taken a shower and would be heading to bed soon, and any other day you’d be following her footsteps by getting ready to sleep.

“You’re tired,” Taehyung says when you yawn for the third time in a row.

You bring you index finger and thumb together, creating little space between them. “Just a tad bit.”

“Then sleep, don’t you have class in the morning?”

You nod, “I’m probably gonna drop out anyway, but yeah I do.”

"Then sleep,” he repeats so kindly it makes you want to close your eyes right there just to please him. He’s taken his glasses off now (making a show of it when he did so) and you’re able to look into his eyes better.

“I’ll go to bed if you do,” you challenge.

Taehyung isn’t sleepy, but he should be going to bed anyway so he’s not tired for tomorrow’s early shooting. “Yeah, I’m filming tomorrow, I need to go to bed.”

There’s something about Tae saying he has to film tomorrow that makes your heart drop. It’s like, in the short amount of time you’ve known him, you forgot he was the most watched pornstar and mistook him for an everyday boy who had a normal job and a normal life that could sustain a normal relationship. But you should know by now, nothing in your life is normal, and you and Taehyung had the same career in completely different aspects.

“Okay,” you sigh, “goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.” he says before leaving the broadcast. He would’ve stayed on longer if his job wasn’t so demanding.

He waits a minute, and you’re finally done with your livestream. Then he waits, and waits, and waits until…

lucy_fer sent you a direct message.

It’s your phone number, along with a message.

lucy_fer / 1 min ago send nudes pls

Taehyung knows you’re joking, but considers sending a dick pic just to make you squirm. But he doesn’t, instead, he saves your number and sends a text of his own.

imessage today at 11:37 pm

no u

Withing the next few weeks, a friendship blossoms between you and Taehyung. You text everday now, and neither of you could be

You’ve uploaded more videos (to which Tae has jerked himself off to), and Taehyung has kept his title as number one and has starred in more films of his own (in which you was only to support because, again, you don’t watch porn).

It’s when he’s in his trailer with Seokjin getting ready to film another boring horny stepbrother when he get’s a text from you.

imessage today at 12:22 pm

i want to see u

in real life tho

like…i wanna meet u in real life

The last thing he texted you was a Jeongguk being stupid a few hours ago, so your lack of being able to respond quickly in this situation gave away the fact that this was something you had been thinking about a lot. He’s not too sure what to say in this sense. Yes, he’s your friend and wants to meet up with you, but what if something happens and changing the dynamic of your friendship? He cares for you the way a friend should (and probably a little more), and feels like you’re one of the few people who actually understand him. He definitely doesn’t want to lose you like Namjoon has.

He responds:

hmm, what prompted ur sudden interest in wanting to see me?

You’re quick to reply:

rmr a little while ago we talked about filming something together? u can come up here for a weekend, we could hang out and film something

taehyung:

so u only want me for my body?? i see how it is…

you:

oh quit it

so, what do u say? u can stay at my place

He tells you he’s going to think about it, but already knows he’s going to say yes. It’s all he can think about twenty minutes later when he’s fucking some redhead deep into the mattress. The sound of your girlish moans and gasps play so vividly in his mind, if he tries hard enough, he can pretend your sounds are coming from the girl’s mouth and you’rethe one he’s balls deep in.

And if he tries hard enough, he can pretend the little tuffs of the girl’s red hair that form against the pillow are your red devil horns.

And when he does try hard enough, he has to stop himself from cumming right then and there by distracting himself with other thoughts. He can’t think of you, of course – you’re the one who got him into this predicament in the first place.

Taehyung opens his eyes, trying his best to momentarily erase you from his mind. He looks down at the girl beneath him and is met with closed eyes and parted lips; her tongue was only slightly visible and was bit down on to stifle load moans.

The expression on her face is awkward, amateur almost, and Taehyung can’t stand it. He thrusts deeper, earning a high pitched moan from the girl and follows suit with a low groan.

He’s bored. Extremely bored. Then his mind drifts back to you, and he smiles because he’ll be seeing you in a few days. And for once, in a very long time, he’s excited for something. So excited that his boxy smile pays a visit and he has to bury his face in his co-star’s shoulder to cover it up.

Friday comes around rather quickly, and Taehyung finds himself halfway out of the front door with a duffel bag in his hand, saying goodbye to his roommates.

“No people, no parties, no dancing, no loud music, and Yeontan is the only animal allowed in this house. If I get a complaint from the neighbors, I swear–” Taehyung’s infamous exit speech is cut off by Jeongguk clasping a hand on his shoulder.

“Relax, hyung,” he says a little too calmly for Taehyung’s comfort, “nothing bad is gonna happen, don’t worry.”

The sound of tiny nails scraping against the wooden floor has made Tae forget what he was saying, only being able to focus on the beautiful dog running up to him.

He drops the bag, bending down to pet the fur and say goodbye to his faithful companion. “Please remember to take care of Yeontan; he’s very needy.”

“We will, I promise.” Hoseok says and Taehyung stands upright once again.

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” he adjusts the bag on his shoulder, “Gguk is the one that concerns me.”

Jeongguk scoffs, fake offended, “Me?! Why me?!”

“That time you went two days without food and didn’t even realize it.”

“That–I–it was for a gaming tournament! Plus, I drank Red Bull and that gave me all the energy i needed.” he tries to redeem himself, but it doesn’t work.

“Please just take care of my fucking dog,” is the last thing Taehyung says along with ‘goodbye’ before leaving his house.

The drive to your apartment is nearly two hours away, and Taehyung can hardly believe he’s going out of his way to hang out with a friend then have sex with her. It’s ridiculous yet so exciting. So…new.

You’re outside your apartment building when Taehyung arrives, heart beating out of both of your chest. He doesn’t leave the car, since the two of you agreed you’d go out in the city before coming back to your place, but you can already see he’s a lot taller in person. And a lot hotter, if that was possible.

You jog up to his Range Rover, the best looking car in the parking lot, and slide into his passenger seat. Before Taehyung is able to get a word in, you’ve already engulfed him into a tight hug. He’s thrown off his game by your sudden forwardness, but he doesn’t let it phase him. Instead, his arms find comfort around your waist, embarrassing you so tight and completely as if you’d melt away if he let go.

Then, you’re pushing him off of you, as if nothing happened.

“I can’t believe I’m here, with you, in your car. I bet so many of your fans would die to be in this position,” you run your fingers through your hair as a method to calm your nerves.

“And many other positions…” he jokes with a small smirk, handing you his phone so you can put in the address to the place you’re having lunch at.

“Touché,” you reply, and minutes later you’re on your way to a whole-in-the-wall cute, little restaurant. It’s mostly empty, so neither of you are recognized.

Taehyung picks a little table in the far corner by the window; just enough room for the both of you. He pulls out your chair, because he’s polite like that, before setting down your tray of food on the table and sitting down on his own seat.

“It’s raining,” you whisper, chin in the palm of your hand as you stare out the window.

Taehyung had started to place your food in front of you, but stops when he hears you speak. He looks up at you, and the only word he can use to describe you in this exact moment is ‘pretty’. Pretty, pretty, pretty.

He gulps, glancing out the window to see it had indeed began to rain. “Yeah,” is all he can say, because there’s not much you can say when you’re being taunted.

The sky is teasing him, as though it was saying, “ha ha, I can cry and you can’t”, because Tae is so at peace being here with you, he could actually cry. He’s happy for once, and wishes he didn’t have to hide it.

“It’ll be dark by the time the movie’s over,” Taehyung says while handing you your sandwich, “are we going straight to your place afterwards?”

“We can, I mean, it’s Friday and you don’t leave until Monday morning; we have the whole weekend to explore.”

Tae nods out of excitement but doesn’t show it. He’s been looking forward to filming with you and is happy you’re ready to do so as soon as possible. Now, he’ll just have to find a way to stop thinking or talking about it.

“So about the video we’re making today,” he takes a sip out of his lemonade.

“Oh yeah, I was gonna have my manager email yours to sort out some details, then I remembered I don’t have a manager–”

“Wait,” Tae raises a hand to silence you, “you don’t have a manager? Why not?”

Embarrassed, you slump back in your seat and shrug. “I dunno, I felt like I didn’t need one until now, honestly. All of my videos are filmed and edited by me and on the rare occasion I have someone to film with, they’re people I know personally; not big time…pornstars.” you whisper the last part because although the restaurant is mostly empty, you’re still in public.

“I’m literally just a YouTuber that takes her clothes off,” you continue.

“Even YouTuber’s have managers, don’t they?” he points out.

Before you can respond, your phone starts to vibrate on the table. “It’s Jennie,” you say, “do you mind if I…?” you hold your phone up with pleading eyes, claiming the call could be important. Taehyung says it’s fine and takes a bite out of his own sandwich while you accept the call.

“Yeah?��Oh, okay!…Can you tidy up before you go?…I know, but still…Great, have fun…Oh, shut up…Thank you, I love you…Alright bye,” Is all Taehyung hears from your forty-second conversation before setting your phone back down.

“That was my roommate, she just left for the weekend, so me and you have the apartment to ourselves.”

“You have a roommate?” Taehyung asks.

“Yeah, Jennie.”

“Does she know you do porn?”

“Mmhm, she was in my video before. I think I titled it: Pussy Is God.”

“Knowing you, you probably replaced the S’s with dollar signs.”

You smile, “You know me pretty well, don’t you?”

And he does know you pretty well. Just like he knows when the two of you are exiting the restaurant, you make sweater paws with your hands because you’re cold. So he holds your hand and let’s your fingers intertwine the entire walk to his car and tells himself it’s just platonic hand holding.

And when you’re in the theater watching Endgame, he feels your body tremble as you watch Iron Man take his final breath. You don’t cry, but Taehyung let’s the tear he was holding in fall from his eye. He doesn’t think you saw it, but you do, and later on he let’s you assume it’s the movie that made him cry. But really, it was you.

You had brought Kim Taehyung to tears.

Because when he’s with you, he isn’t thinking about his job or stress, or anything. Your presence had captured him and tricked him into thinking he, being the person he is, could handle being in a relationship; a serious one at that.

And that’s exactly what he was afraid of.

“Just admit it, you big baby. We basically went on a date.” You say hours later as you lead Taehyung into your apartment.

“Oh, you think so?” Taehyung asks as you flick on the light switch.

“Well, we had lunch, held hands, saw a movie, and we’re about to have sex so…yeah, I think it’s safe to say we went on a date.”

Upon entering your apartment, Taehyung notes it’s as small as you said it would be, but didn’t expect for there to be so many new, expensive appliances. Seriously, your fridge, flat screen television, and microwave all look so out of place in your crappy apartment. He assumes your porn money as started rolling in, but doesn’t ask.

“You wanna film now?” Taehyung asks, slipping off his shoes when you notices you doing the same.

“Why wait?” You ask with a devilish smirk, “I’m gonna change, but please, make yourself at home.”

You’re in your room getting dressed in your usual skirt, bra, and devil horns (and even a little bit of makeup because…fuck it) while Taehyung takes time to prepare himself with a mini prep talk while he waits.

“I’m ready if you are,” you call from your doorframe. Taehyung’s dick already feels like it’s stirring in his pants, so he tries his best not to look at you when he enters your room and sits on the edge of your bed, directly in front of your only camera.

“Are you ready?” you ask, a finger on the ‘record’ button.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replies.

You press record and sit down next to him.

“It’d be so funny if I just put in, like, clips of our first livestream together when you said you would fuck one of my holes,” you laugh, and Taehyung is amazed at how comfortable you became in a matter of seconds. You truly were a natural at this, and it put him at ease.

“Please don’t do that,” he replies, shaking his head.

“Im gonna do it, but, anyway…! I’m here with Kim Taehyung! And I have a gift for him!” You lean over to your bedside drawer to retrieve your gift for him, Tae lets out a desperate sigh when he gets a clear view of your ass.

“Usually, I have my co-star for the evening wear complimentary devil horns, right? But, for you, I went out and got you your own pair. They don’t look much different than mine or any other pair, but these are special…because they’re yours.” you pull the headband from behind your back and gently place it in his hands and watch as he stares at them for a moment.

Although they’re the same style of the ones of the ones usually featured in your videos, they’re different in some way. Newer. Cleaner. His to keep.

He stares at them in silence, making you nervous by the second, and you make a mental note to edit awkward Wii music in at this part. “..so do you like it, or…?”

Instead of responding, he moves his tattooed-hand up to his hair and removes his baby blue headband in a swift motion; replacing it with his new gifts. Out of his duffel bag, he pulls out a light pink supreme headband (similar to his infamous one) and gives it to you, claiming he also brought you a gift.

And for the sake of the porno (and because you like him so much without realization), you take off your devil horns and replace them with the headband he’s given you.

When Taehyung stares at you, he feels like his looking at his heart in human form. He can’t look away and sure as hell doesn’t want to. But, he’s not in love. He’s in lust and in like and all the things that come with having a crush because Jesus Christ he has the biggest, fattest crush on you, Y/N.

“Do I look like you?” you ask.

“Nope, you look way better,” he compliments.

You wave your hand in a motion that says, ‘as if’. He isn’t used to working without a script, but is too shy to ask how you plan on getting things started. And, like you read his mind, you instruct him to lay back on the bed, and he does so.

"What, are you gonna top me?” Taehyung asks with a cocky smile and a raised brow, elbows holding himself up as he watches you crawl over him until your faces are centimeters apart.

“You’d make such a cute, little bottom,” your lips brush against his with every word you speak, and yet, you’re still not kissing. “But no, just relax.” You might as well had been speaking a foreign language Taehyung had no knowledge of because he had no clue what you were saying; too distract by the fact that your lips were literally on his and you weren’t even kissing, though you both so badly want to.

“Kiss me, pussy,” is what you want to say to him, but you don’t. Your lips place delicate kisses down his neck, so soft and subtly and almost nonexistent, not wanting to cover up his tattoos with hickeys.

Your hands make their way down to his jeans until you’re undoing his belt and sliding it off with ease. With his elbows hosting himself up again, Taehyung watches you pull his jeans down all the way to his ankles until they’ve met the same fate as his Gucci belt. When you hook a finger on the waistband of his boxers, he stops you with a question.

“What’re you doing?” he slurs, and regrets asking such a dumb question because he already knows damn well what you’re gonna do.

“Gonna suck you off; is that okay?”

It’s more than okay, honestly. It’s just, Taehyung is a giver. His fans pay to watch him give and give and give until they’re watching his cum drip out of someone’s swollen cunt; he definitely wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of sex and couldn’t even remember the last time he’d gotten a proper blowjob.

He doesn’t respond verbally, only giving a light nod and running his tongue across his top lip.

Getting the answer you were hoping for, you tug off Taehyung’s boxers with a single finger, his cock springing free and laying flat against his abdomen. Precum leaks from his reddening tip and you can’t help but gasp at the euphoric sight. Taehyung smiles in delight when the soft noise leaves your mouth, and suddenly, he’d confident again.

Your hand makes it’s way to grab a hold of Tae’s cock, using the pad of your thumb to smear the seeping precum along his tip. He let’s out a moan of pleasure, already obsessed with the feeling of your small hand wrapped around his ever-hardening member.

Starting off with slow strokes, you lower your head until you’re inches away from his dick. You’re not even doing much, yet Taehyung feels like he could cum right now just by the way you’re looking at him; so dark and lustful and sinful, like the she-devil you truly were.

Without warning, your tongue presses itself alongside Tae’s tip, peppering the sides with small kitten licks. “Shit,” he mutters, eyes tightly shut. If he thought your hands were good, your tongue nearly sent him into overdrive.

The little kitten lick only last for a few seconds longer, and then your mouth is completely around him. He’s big around you, and it’ll take a bit of work if you plan on getting him to the back of your throat.

You pull your mouth away from with a pop, your free hand stroking off parts of him your mouth couldn’t reach quite yet. He’s still propped up on his elbows, watching as you get him off.

Your mouth is wrapped around him once again, and soon enough, his eyes are back to being shut as he takes in the warm feeling of your mouth. Taehyung fights the urge to buck his hips once you’re finally able to allow him deeper in your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat as you fight off your gag reflex.

He even fights thee urge once you’ve gotten used to the feeling and began to slowly bob your head. He grabs a fistful of your hair tightly, earning a pleasing groan from you that vibrates around his dick. Pulling only a slight bit harder on your hair gets another reaction out of you, this time causing your left hand to work your way down into your panties.

The sight alone makes Taehyung want to replace your fingers with his own; watching his tattooed-hand disappearing into your underwear until his fingers are circling around your clit, slipping his fingers between your slick folds until they’re completely covered. He’d bring his fingers up to your mouth and whisper “taste yourself, baby, taste how wet you are for me,” then his fingers would be in your mouth, licking your juices clean. And he’d bring his hand back down to your cunt, calling you his good girl while we thrusts his fingers in and out of you.

But that can’t happen, at least not tonight while you were recording and, oh fuck…he was so caught up, Taehyung forgot this whole thing was being filmed.

“Shit, fuck, stop it,” he instructs, knowing he’d release right then and there if you kept this up.

“Something wrong?” you ask, your big doe eyes peering up at him with your mouth glistening with his precum. You looked so innocent yet so sinful and it drove Taehyung so crazy.

He’s taking his shit off, leaving him completely naked and you follow suit. “I shouldn’t be selfish,” he says when you’re leaning over him, hardening nipples brushing against his own chest. “You need to get off too, right?”

You grin with a nod before finally kissing him. It’s not a cute, first kiss you’d imagined it being, but it was something. Sloppy, messy, and horny.

When he tries to lift you up to lay you on your back, you stop him by pulling away from his lips and harshly grabbing his shoulder blade. “I’m going to top.”

Taehyung chuckles because he thinks your joking, and when he realizes you’re being serious, he shakes his head. “Absolutely not,” his dominant side had slowly began to show.

“That’s what you think,” you say, and reach down to grab his cock. He decides there’s no point in fighting you on this since your mind is made up and admits defeat by replacing your hand with his and rubbing his tip against your folds.

Your grip onto his shoulders to steady yourself, eyes closed while you let him tease your entrance. His tip lazily brushes circles on your cunt, and you can’t help but a let out a high-pitched whine when he’s finally inside of you.

His thrusts are slow at first, giving you time to stretch out around him. “Okay,” you sigh, once you’re finally ready for harder, deeper thrusts.

“You wanted to top so badly,” he says, “you do all the work.”

You let out a laugh but deiced it’s fair, so you rock your hips against his, grabbing his thighs to hold onto in the process. You’ve just started, but the feeling of Taehyung finally inside of you after all these weeks already has the both of you moaning, thankful your roommate was out of town.

Your head is thrown back now as you keep the steady pace, hair sticking to the sweat on your back while Tae keeps a firm grip on your waist. His eyes are still closed in fear of releasing right then and there if he opened his eyes to see the sight of you on top of him.

“Taehyung…I–I–” you’re barely able to talk, so close to your climax you can hardly get a word out.

“You wanna come?” he asks, fingers moving down to massage your clit, adding all the more reason for you to orgasm.

“Please,” you whine, although it’s not like Taehyung has told you to ask for permission to come, this is just you in your natural state. And he loves it.

“Then come,” he says, and your orgasm rips through you, the type that has your eyes rolling back and body shaking. Tae can’t help but do the same moments later, the feeling of your cum dripping around him a little too much to handle. The inside of your walls are splattered white, but you don’t mind much; at least you’re on the pill.

The two of you pant as you come down from your highs, both exhausted at this point. And you, being yourself, reach down to give Taehyung a high-five, to which he accepts with a laugh.

“That was fun,” you say, just now rising off of him and trying your best not to groan at the feeling of emptiness.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “you’re good at your job.”

You accept and return the compliment before turning off the camera and excusing yourself in the bathroom.

Alone with his thoughts, Taehyung flops backwards on your bed and recall what has just happened. He’s scared, he feels like you’ve trapped him in your heart, like a caged animal. He knows he shouldn’t have feelings for him, but he can’t help himself; you were absolutely perfect in his eyes.

When you enter the room again and lay down next to him, he thinks about how little he cares about anything other than you. He doesn’t care if his career doesn’t allow it, what his friends will say, or what his fans will say. He only wants you.

“Y/N?” he calls softly, turning his head to look at you.

“Yes?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

[linos-teeth]

[1/?] Hhhh sorry for disappearing for a week too it's been a (mentally, but i can sense the howework is coming for my ass soon) busy time ig?? God it went, idk, better than i expected but at the same time worse? Idk im just mostly alone all the time except when i can hang out with friends in the higher grade (we dont have the same schedule so it's rare) but in my class? Fuck, your boy got no one JDSVKS but i think i made a friend today but im not sure?

[2/?] We exchanged numbers and she was nice but she seems too cool,, for me,, idk how to act around new people anymore,, so yeah basically how my week went, alone in my sadness and already crying because of school lol so i feel you, i reallly want to just run away from responsibilities :) my new school is ugh idk, i’m not used to be this free with basically everything so it’s weird for me? Schedule’s kinda ok, ppl in my class are (for now) rather normal, teachers are ALL jdh BOR I N G– anyway!!

[3/?] It’s sad you’re not going to see your friend before next year, god :(( i hope you’ll get good friends at uni,,— and well not stress too much abt real life eiTHER and erm i cant offer advices or anything obviously but fuck yeah i’m (for the 373929th time, i’m sorry for ALWAYS repeating myself) here to listen :(((

[4/4, finally] + dont apologize abt not gif-fing (??) anymore, really, your mental health is way more important!! Take all the time you need to figure things out n all, and understand im not saying we dont care abt your gifs (i personnaly rlly like them!!), but its toTALLY OK AND UNDERSTANDABLE YOU TAKE CARE OF URSELF FIRST anyway i may have forgot things i wanted to say? But its getting rlly long so ill stop here but basically ily and wish u good luck with finding a place and all that stuff! ��

HELLO FRIEND guess who disappeared for over a week i’m the one who’s sorry :// i feel you soso much wow my mind is just like.....dead i was away for 3 days this week to sort stuff out with the other uni in person like i had to hand in a document to receive another and bus connections are disgusting so i had to stay 2 nights but!!! it went well the counsellor was rly sweet (good bc i felt like i’d offended her when we were exchanging emails rip) and now i’ve got all my documents on the way and i just need them to arrive on time aka monday which is the deadline for applications aND THEN I’M GOOD TO GO!!! i also have a rly nice place to stay temporarily with a family and their baby randomly loves me and the guy and i share the same favorite football club so life‘s quite alright (just the wifi uh....kinda sucks so.........idk what that means for this blog yet)

bUT!!! i hope hw is treating u alright and school too! sucks that the ppl you get along with don’t share classes with you but i’m glad you have them still!! and the girl too i hope she’s still being good and i don’t have to beat anyone up bc wtf nonny i rly don’t think she’s too cool for u!! like coolness rly is subjective and maybe you’re her brand of cool! like i don’t think i’m cool but ppl say i am and i find ppl cool who think they aren’t you feel me?? but yeah anyway i hope that is going well ♥ i get the freedom part i cried sm when i started uni bc they don‘t rly tell you shit any more and me as someone who needs detailed instructions for everything i was like jhaskfjahskfjahskfas

also sue me but i think boring teachers are the best the fun ones usually turned out to be fake for me tbh bUT I DON’T WANNA BE NEGATIVE

but i don’t like the sound of the sad :/// are u feeling better?

bUT YEAH THE PLAN IS TO SHARE WITH U AND MY FOLLOWERS (even tho i don’t wanna rant too much without rly contributing to the community you know) except i’ve been kinda hating tumblr lately esp with birthday season i got some big blog crisis again (ha look at ur part 4......i failed u again sorry) BUT I’M RLY TRYING AND I GOT SOMEONE TO HIT ME WITH A LITERAL STICK WHEN I TALK SHIT ABT MY BLOG SO!! DW

but yeah i’ll try to reply quicker from now on!!! i hope you had a good week pls know that i love you and i’m sending you hugs always ♥♥♥

[mangozcat]

I KNOOOOWWWW AND YOU ARE SO RIGHT AND VERY VALID POINTS PLEAAAASEEEE and you have no idea how happy and proud i am that you don't feel embarrassed or anything about reading your own fics although i also genuinely understand some other writers who can't do it (at all, even) what i don't get and like is some readers or passerbys who should just be minding their own business (this topic is for another time i don't wanna dwell on it it'll just piss me off more and more)

take a look and another

ID WANT TO MARRY HIM

honey ♡

IKR LIKE omg ok i apologize for this bc i dont wanna piss u off but i also have my own opinion of this like

tiny lettering in case u dont wanna read it atm and get upsetti spaghetti <3

ok i recently started writing jisung smut- i have done it ONCE just to like rly see how i felt on the topic and i think this is a great example. readers will see this fic and see the “JISUNG SMUT BELOW THE CUT BEWARE” and instantly click on the button like 😭😭

and then they’ll come to ur ask box and be like “ayo bitch u rly hurt my feelings with that fic u warned me not to read”

and tbh theres a lot i can say about this but i can shorten it to this: i understand having a distaste for a certain read. that is 100% ok! people put warnings on their fics and have little side notes specifically for you! but what i really dont understand and can NOT stand for is openly hating on a writer for producing content and putting several disclaimers in front of this work that might offend you.

writers are humans too :( that shit hurts and this piece they spent hours, maybe days(even weeks) to produce now feels… really icky to look at. its awful

and ikr!! i used to be SUPER awkward when speaking about my fics. id never take a compliment and would rarely admit to working really hard on a fic in case someone didnt like it so i wouldnt get hurt by their comments

of course like i can say ppl have been super nice to me and i havent gotten very much hate (bless the lord omg) but still its a really important thing that most writers prepare for despite having a positive fanbase

but overall i think i can really say ive grown and so has my perspective of the world and my talent— AND i believe its a SUPER important thing that every writer eventually come to this realization that: writing is for yourself

sure, once you get a few fans, it feels like you’re writing for an audience instead, but you should always be writing something you’d want to read. i know some people say the way to grow is to get out of your comfort zone, but i think that truly the way to do so is by EXPANDING your comfort zone instead bit by bit

it takes a ton of time but eventually, you’ll look back at that work and realize how much you’ve matured and be so proud of yourself

ok very long rant im sorry <3 i talk too much wow

ily and i love when u talk to me honey <3

i hope this even made sense my brain is off

also can he rail me

[obsessedfangirl22]

Rant because I'm hurt

First off I don't like to talk about my religion much cause its really no ones business unless they ask but I feel this needs to be said. sorry if I offend anyone I really try not to but im not perfect.

Ok im getting so fed up with negative stereo types... I've been offended and upset.

1. Im a Mormon (I both found the church and chose to be baptized when I was 16) who is also (I don't like labels but for the sake of the rant) bi

2. My dad is Mormon (he chose to be one after I made my decision) and my mom is a Methodist and been divorced sense I was 2

3. I came out to both of them by this post and they've offered all their love and support and accept me. Both were shocked yes but never made me feel bad about who I am.

Why does everyone think Mormons are these multi-wife families who are so into their religion that if you're gay or not religious you're a bad person and a sinner and should be treated as such?

The stereo types are put in us like we're the only ones who would do that? Most of these stereotypes started back when the church started and before polygomy was banned in the church and back when it was legal to shoot a Mormon on sight. (Don't believe me look it up Missouri had it legal until 1975) No one person or church is perfect ya. There's jerks and bad people where ever you go but not everyone is like that and it hurts.

I had an experience at work where this girl I work with (her name will not be given) panicked cause she called this jerk at her school the Mormon and i over heard and she didn't want me to feel bad because I was a mormon. What the heck was that?

My church teaches us to be loving and supporting people and to love your family. Family is important gay, straight, adopted, blood, trans, black, white, who ever they are because they're your family and you should love them for who they are not what you want them to be.

Love isn't a sin.

Why can't we just stop hating and just love each other?...

When pigs fly huh?

[j-hobby]

The bts highlight reel fucking bugs me...

DISCLAIMER: Im not hating on the girls nor am I mad because “No its so hetero my ships booohooo”. It was a neat video and the boys looked great.

The reason why it bothers me is because something seems off. Like here lets do this nice and orderly:

1. J-Hope didn’t get a girl

A lot people think that the girl that came into the practice room is Jhope’s girl even though Jimin likes her too but I don’t think thats what it is. Everytime one of the members sees the girl they like, it’s seen from their “perspective” and the same whimsical romantic song will start playing. This happened for everyone except Jhope. This is not some simple mistake BigHit made because they could’ve done it while she was handing him a cake or whatever but thats not what they did. When we do see from Jhope’s perspective though, its a flashback to when his mom left him. If this was supposed to be a sweet love story for each member where together they learned to love themselves then they would’ve given Jhope a girl, they wouldnt, as some people think, create a love triangle between Jimin, Jhope, and the girl and they most certainly wouldn’t’ve included the flashback.

2. Boy meets Girl Evil

At the end of the Save me and Fire MVs bts started hyping up this Boy meets ____. Usually its boy meets girl. In this highlight reel (almost) every member had a boy meets girl concept. Also lots of people connect the short films that were promoting bst to the highlight reel but the problem is during the comeback trailer for bst the ____ was filled with evil. Boy meets Evil. Plus the whole theme for the bst mv was temptation and sinning and fallen angels and whatever the fuck. So this very sweet and wholesome seeming concept with the boys falling for pretty girls seems so polished and cliched to the point that its unnerving. Especially that sad and fairly dark flashback at the end. 

3. Girls in general.

Usually the only reason boy groups only have girls in their music videos is because they’re rookies or still new so the can flaunt and be cute in front of her and show off their charm to establish their likability with the very new fan base. You very rarely see girls in boys groups that have been around longer because there are fans that are already all over them without them being lovey and coupley with a girl and their charm and likability is already established so to me personally its kinda “meugh” that they might be pulling this shtick now.

4. Dates!

What they hell are those dates at the bottom of the screen? Mostly likely its to set out a timeline of sorts for when each member met each girl but I can’t help but wonder if its for something else because if it was a timeline it most likely should've gone in order, but it didn't. Now Im stuck thinking if maybe they’re release dates for something from each member??? Or maybe its when the short films took place??? idk its just that the dates are so ominous to me....

5. Promo Photos.

Ok if this thing was gonna be a bts x some girl thing then why the hell did the promo photos bring back the original groups of Jihope, Vmon, Sugakookie, and Jin? Like its not like they did it randomly. They keep bringing these groupings back. Even in the bst promo photos where they shuffled up the groupings they still did one photo for of the originals groupings and gave them connections in the short films even though their circles didnt merge. Why continually hint at and show these groupings if they dont seem like they interact with each other at all in the highlight reel (except Jihope).

Once again not hating just hella confused and concerned at whats to come because its never EVER clear with these bts....

this was just me ranting and writing my thoughts down sorry if u got offended or whatever..

[phanbliss]

i'm just going to rant. i am tired of a double standard in the phandom. that A LOT of phans act a certain way when it's phil and a different way when it's dan. like the jabs in the quick draw video. a lot of people felt sorry for phil because dan made fun of his ability to draw. the problem is THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IF THE TABLES WERE TURNED! if phil said the EXACT SAME THINGS to dan everyone that does this would be like " yaaas, phil putting dan in his place finally!" treat them equally instead!

im not sure if something i posted made you write this but if it did then im sorry because i 100% agree??

im just going to write out a list because that way its easier for me to sort out my own thoughts

1. people seem to forget that both dan and phil are functioning adults with a long history of friendship

2. obviously if phil felt offended by something dan does then he would have said so off camera and the video would have been different

3. people always seem to think that phil is overlooked & dan is the more popular one (which is technically true) and as such, they get “mad” at dan for the weirdest things

4. people think phil is a cute little cinnamon roll who needs to be protected until it does actually happen, which i hope it wont

5. people forget that they do have a ~PERSONA~ on camera and they are a double act. their videos are fairly genuine imo but there is still a danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil, not Dan and Phil.

6. poking fun at your friends/partners is a totally normal thing. this is what i do with almost any friend i have and they do it back to me and nobody cries. if someone goes too far they say so and it never happens again and the world lives on

LONG STORY SHORT: im 100% sure phil doesn’t mind dan’s teasing and if anything i am happy to see it because its probably closer to how they interact in real life and there is nothing wrong with that. i love BOTH dan and phil but im not delusional so i dont feel inclined to feel sorry for either of them when they’re both CLEARLY HAVING FUN.

[the-blunt-thoughts]

I gotta rant about this since it’s literally impossible to talk to anybody about this. So. I am vegetarian. Whenever the topic comes up somewhere (especially on the internet) it kind of sucks being in my position right. but why is that? First of all I know being vegetarian is not as desicive as being vegan but I do what I can and it’s the most important start if you ask me. So...if there is the littlest comment I make about the fact that being vegetarian is a good and right thing to do or eating less meat would be a great start all I get is bash from all directions but look....They really only lash out hatefully because they know theyre wrong. 1.’Humans are made for eating meat and we stand over all other creatures so its not bad if we eat them. Animals eat other animals too after all’ K so you stand over all animals but use them to justify yourself and your actions? Ummm okay. Also it is not all about the fact that people ARE eating meat and more about how everything around is happening and working. REALLY WHEN WILL YOU GET THIS??? Youre just not thinking about it right? Thats why you feel attacked and offended so you gotta get angry and defensive. 2.’I need my meat Im a strong and manly man and its not healthy eating vegan anyway blabla’ First of all you live like one century in the past obviously with those weird gender expectations. Second it is nowhere near harmful nowadays to eat vegetarian and if youre vegan youll have to actively inform yourself more about your food anyway and youll automatically eat healthy really. You can even ask a  doctor...with all the unnecessary shit they pack into our food these days youll rather have too much of everything in your system. Also the thought of ‘needing’ meat in your diet is a thought that can be broken easier than you think. I once ate meat and thought I’d miss it but dude nah, I really don’t. 3.’ aw you just feel sorry for the poor animals right? nature is cruel like that too you know` yes I do feel sorry. Why do you people always have to make it seem like thats a bad thing? Obviously you are the stone-hearted, ignorant person that only thinks about themselves and their unreplacable burger and sorry but...THAT is a bad thing. Yes nature is cruel but also never as cruel as humans can be. We kill thousands...millions...and we dont even consume all of them you know? a lot just ends up in the trash. The worst thing is every single human being knows this deep inside and that is why you all feel so attacked. You feel guilty. You cant deal with the fact that theres other people who are ‘better’ than you in this case.  And even tho youll never give in in a discussion and your ears might be totally closed up for all the things us ‘freaks’ have to say but  youll never be right. What makes us humans such a successful race is the fact that we always try to improve ourselves and the things we can do...and YOU obviously dont belong to those people contributing to that kind of evolution. YOUre not better than those animals you look down on and eat. And for those believing people out there.....Gluttony isnt one of the seven sins  for no reason either right?

[thedragoon]

A vent, a rant. don’t read.

i need to vent desperately so sorry but like god i just need to know that this hateful shit exists in the universe somewhere i hate this god damn fucking holiday season i hate it I HATE IT FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKERS PISS ON THIS FUCKING SEASON. So tired to fucking DEATH of everywhere i look seeing all these cheerful happy motherfuckers talking about plans and holidays and i go home to an EMPTY fucking HOUSE every single god damn day. i’ve been doing so well swerving out of depression lately but it feels like this holiday shit is going to strangle me to death AGAIN. and i don’t know if i can drag myself out of it again, my support system is more barebones than any other point in my life and i have nothing and no one to lean on this time... i just..ache..so fucking much. physically, because i stopped going to the gym and started eating like shit over a month ago, a huge fucking sign that i was repressing things again but of course i REPRESSED THAT I WAS REPRESSING SHIT. and my mental state is so bad because its that FUCKING time of year again and of course it wouldn’t be the holidays without my witch of a mother smashing every single horrible thing that i have ever experienced, said or done in my face. Perfect example:My temp room mate needed to go pick up something from walmart for her daughter. I told her long ago and repeated it yesterday, that i am not her ride(She has no car), or source of labor and will not be involved in any christmas shit regardless of anything else!  But shes become friends with my mom. asked her if she could borrow her truck, so my mom took her to get the thingy for her daughter. Which is fine, whatever, i just want to be left alone. But nope. See, she bought her daugher this carriage..thing that weighs like..100 pounds easy? So none of these tiny fucking women could lift it. And no one bothered to ask any other person to come help or put any foresight into it.  No, instead my mom BEATS ON MY DOOR when i was deadass asleep(and bear in mind, i havent been sleeping for shit for months now? Insomnia back, full blown, another fucking sign i ignored.). But anyway, she beats the fuck out of my door when i had barely been asleep 2 hours, and i was in the middle of a horrible fucking nightmare about running and gunning back in H-town, so i wake up disoriented and scared out of my fucking mind. I had a full blown panic attack, desperately looking around my room for a gun i no longer possess because i was absolutely certain the cops were kicking in my door and i was about to die. 5 minutes later i finally figure out where the fuck i am and what had happened. And of course im pissed off so i fly out of my room cursing up a storm My fucking SAINT of a mother gets offended that im angry at being awoken in this manner, so she proceeds to drop the following”Stop acting so filthy and ungrateful, its not like you need sleep anyway, its 4 in the afternoon(BITCH I WORK 12 HOUR NIGHT SHIFTS), your brother would be ashamed of you, the least you can do is help her give her daughter a good christmas, its not like i have a grandchild of my own to be concerned with, you let that one die, i raised you to be better than this its bad enough your going to hell just be nice for once Jordan would be ashamed of you”on and on and on... So i went out, lifted the fucking box out of the truck, pushed it into house, and went back to my room. put on some loud, sad music so no one would hear and wept my fucking heart out. I havent cried i SO GOD DAMN LONG. Because in that one 2 minute exchange, my mom managed to bring to mind 1:My poor dead baby girl, as well as reminding me that im a horrible person and failure as a father and (ex)husband 2:My dead brother(Jordan), whom i’ve already been thinking about too much because this is his favorite time of year 3:That i’m a lazy worthless human being, because work 12-15 hours a day isn’t enough, i did nothing with my potential, like i don’t beat myself up about that EVERY FUCKING DAY. 4:That i am(because belief systems get embedded in you, even if i’m no longer a christian i still FEAR) going to hell, because i’m a worthless, murderous, divorced foul mouthed deviant and the only reason she even interacts is because jordan died and im the only hope she has left 5:Bonus points:Slipping in that she “didnt raise me to be like this”When she in fact, abandoned me to the justice system when i was around 12. I survived in SPITE of what she did to me, not because of it.

Pile on top of this that friends have made it very clear that i will be spending both christmas and new years absolutely alone because no one feels like dealing with me when im sad and...i just..

why do i bother anymore? I am fighting so hard to grow and change but for fucking what? i dont want anything out of life... don’t believe in love or fulfillment in relationships anymore, i don’t believe good sex is even a thing. i don’t have anything i want or strive towards i just work and try to make myself comfortable and game half ass workouts.. 

i just..i’m exhausted...of this life ya’ll...and i get that my life isn’t that bad but i’m a coward and not strong enough for it regardless..

maybe i should give up

for real this time

for good.