#its hurting thats the hardest part

[angeldustanalog]

no you don’t understand. the vodka is for the social anxiety, institutional trauma, and general discomfort with existence. the lemon juice is because the vodka tastes bad. the omeprazole is for stomach acid which is exacerbated by the vodka and lemon juice.

i don’t have a problem putting on my socks, i have a system.

[theygender]

Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

oh how i hate being a soprano💥💥💥

[xo2dee]

ᴊᴜᴊᴜᴛꜱᴜ ᴋᴀɪꜱᴇɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴛᴏᴏᴛʜ

✶ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Choso x Reader

✶ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: None

✶ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1,003

✶ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: As sweet as he was, your boyfriend really couldn't cook to save his life.

✶ ᴀ/ɴ: never written for choso but i wanted to start with something little and hopefully something thats not ass as ive planned a choso longfic for the future and wanted to practice a bit. also i like to hc that he'd be a terrible cook ngl lmao. hope you enjoy!

✶ twitter - ao3

“Um…”

Not your most eloquent response, but you supposed it could match the… delicacy of the situation.

By your side you felt him move, his shoulder bumping against your own as he shifted on his feet at your mumble and ducked his head lower to put his ear closer to your mouth. You could almost feel the sweat lining your forehead, his dark eyes boring into the side of your face as you fought to keep a straight face and stared pointedly at the… ‘food’ in front of you. It was hard not to laugh, your lips quivering and stomach knotting in a ball from holding your breath for so long, but the last thing you wanted to do was hurt your fairly new boyfriend’s feelings.

Even if he couldn’t cook a damn thing to save his life.

(No way Yuji lived with him like that… Either he cooked, or he was eating out every night.)

In your peripherals you eyed Choso for his body language. It was clear he was eager for your answer; perhaps a little praise here and there for his ‘astounding’ cooking expertise, but you weren’t oblivious to the anxious undertones he was permitting as well. It was almost like he knew he fucked up, but he wanted you to give it to him easy, so he didn’t have to come to terms that you and Yuji possible grinned and bared it every time he made something for the either of you two (and you didn’t even want to think about Eso and Kechizu. God they probably scarfed the shit down while Yuji’s stomach fought for its life).

Though looking at the dessert he made…

Choso’s finger dug into your side, effectively cutting off any more mental insults you could throw at the food, and he poked you twice in the hip while latching onto your belt loop, “You’re just standing there staring at it.”

Well, what could you say? “I’m just in awe how you cooked something that looks so good.” Something along the lines of that would butter him up.

Choso sighed, “You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met.” Or not.

You dared a glance at him, sucking in your lips at the dejected pout and longing gaze at the hockey pucks he created out of cookie dough, before relaxing your shoulder and leaning into him, “I mean it. Just a tad overdone –” he shot you a withering look, making you laugh sheepishly – “we can just throw it in the microwave to soften them up a bit.” You really didn’t want to lose any teeth, and Choso had such pretty ones you didn’t want him to lose those either.

The side-eye you were receiving was uncalled for in your opinion, and he was gazing at your face for a rather long time to gauge the expression (and see through your lies) on your face before he scowled and looked back at the mess. Part of you wanted to reassure him, knowing he really did try his hardest, but other part of you didn’t want to lie straight to his face and save yourselves both a future mess on your hands for lying. Honestly, it wasn’t a huge deal, but Choso also looked so sad… like a little baby panda sad…

You went to reassure him (truthfully that time), yet at that moment your boyfriend uncurled his fingers from your belt loop, took one of the hockey – cookies and promptly banged it against the counter in a sound so deafening it promptly stopped the words on your tongue as you both stared.

“…”

“…”

You both stood in silence for a moment, and then – “Wow, it’s so hard not a single crumb fell off.”

Choso sighed – again – and grumbled something under his breath while scratching the back of his head, “You hate it.”

Your eyebrows rose, fingers curling around his wrist to throw his arm over your shoulder as you fought off another laugh from his behavior, “I don’t hate it. It’s just… you burnt them.” Leaning further into him whenever Choso finally relaxed, you began to pull on his cheek and relish in the tint turning a charming shade of red, “Plus I think it’s sweet you wanted to make me cookies.”

He hummed, eyelashes fluttering and lips twitching as he avoided your eyes to showcase his embarrassment, “It’s been three months since we started dating.”

Your heart and stomach flipped timeously, still not used to Choso’s blunt attitude when it came to expressing parts of his feelings for you. He was still rather reserved in some instances, but more often did he leave you speechless when he decided to openly show his affection for you in ways that didn’t involve any physical intimacy. You couldn’t blame him for trying, but you did want to get away from the burnt cookie smell…

“So sentimental,” you teased, giving his cheek one more pinch before guiding him back to the couch where popcorn and a movie you had planned awaited, “Let’s just stick to this tonight. Maybe one day we can make cookies together… so they don’t burn.”

He answered you through a squeeze with his hand, following you dutifully and at ease from your suggestion. Though as you flicked through possible movies to watch, you couldn’t help but tease him a little more.

“How did you forget they were in oven?”

“I don’t think I set the timer.”

“I mean it happens to all of us.”

“…They could be edible –”

“No.”

“No, I mean – I think Eso and Kechizu might eat them.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. Though it’s a wonder how they’re still alive if you were cooking for them the entire time.”

“I can cook some things, even Yuji says so.”

“Yes, the Yuji who eats takeout almost every night. Imagine what’d he say if he saw –"

Choso’s fingers found your lips, pinching them together and effectively shutting you up as he decided on a movie himself and not having to hear your mouth.

[81folklore]

heaven - PIASTRI - part 2

pairings: oscar piastri x private!secret!reader (fc: gracie abrams)

summary: a very sweet softlaunch ends pretty quickly

authors notes: first of all a huge thank you to everyone who has liked, reblogged and taken the time to read my works it means so much to me and im so so grateful!! next, this is something i made at 1am so please bear with me😭. i am working on the lando and charles stories i PROMISE but i want them to be special and i currently have zero thoughts about where to take them so it might be a while🫣 also i almost finished this when tumblr DELETED IT?? i want to cry😁 ALSO i started this at like 1am and i cant be asked to do tweets rn so insta smau it is

masterlist heaven masterlist

yourusername

liked by yourfriend2, user7 and 583 others

ahahah i love the beach and my friends

view comments

yourfriend2: dont be fooled she called me crying after the fourth photo bcs she lost 5 games of uno in a row

yourusername: i called you in confidence and this is how you repay me??

user6: its fine we know how emotional uno can get😁

yourusername: ??

user7: im so single hahahahhaa (im dying inside)

user10: is it confirmed that this is oscar?

user9: im not being funny but oscar doesnt even follow her so i think yous are just reaching

user10: …they have the same dog??

yourfriend6: might aswell post his face at this point

yourusername: leave me aloneeee im having fun!!

oscarpiastri

liked by clementnovalak, paularon_ and 93,357 others

second part of the season incoming 😁👊 (after a very competitive round of uno)

view comments

user7: ready to see you up on the podium🧡

user10: uno you say?

user3: right could they be more obvious😭

yourusername: its race week babyyy

*liked by oscarpiastri*

user17: literally what is happening why are all of the grid softlaunching😭

user8: and why does it always end in the hardest of launches

yourusername and oscarpiastri added to their stories

yourfriend2: 😭😭

yourusername: i am sick and tired i just want to POST him but softlaunches are so fun😔

yourfriend2: its really fun when everyone already knows?

yourusername: no but we are in too deep now☹️

user6: god you guys are insufferable

user23: JUST POST THE CUTE COUPLE PHOTOS ALREADY

user23: i lied please dont im so single it hurts

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 6,572 others

the world through my eyes☀️

view comments

oscarpiastri: i love you sososo much

oscarpiastri: my favorite person in the entire world

yourusername: ur literally my sunshine🫶

yourfriend1: god you make me SICK

yourusername: ..okay😁 oscarpiastri i love youuu🤭

landonorris: i hate people in love (you guys are very cute)

user10: THE NOTE OH

user18: THE HARDEST OF LAUNCHES HAPPENED

user7: he is her world oh my lord

user63: and the fact that hes her sunshine too😭😭

user63: literally crying myself to sleep

oscarpiastri

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 143,572 others

my happiness

view comments

yourusername: teheehee thats me🤭

yourusername: i LOVE YOUUU

yourusername: i didnt know you took photos of me like this☹️

oscarpiastri: of course your my favorite🧡

yourusername: oh could you get any cuter🫠

yourfriend4: thought you should know yn is currently jumping up and down and giggling while looking at this

user23: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST THESE?? I CANT HANDLE THIS??

user8: god really saw me sad and said ‘heres the happiest and best couple, wallow more’

user16: YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST?? THE NOTES?? THE POSTS??

user1: i cant stand people in love (i want to cry and drown in my tears)

yourusername: oh my god im so obsessed with you

oscarpiastri: i loooove youuu

oscarpiastri added to their story

yourusername: ahhhhh im so☹️

yourusername: osc☹️☹️ur literally the cutest thing to exist

yourusername: my boys🫶🫶

yoursusername: im so in love with you sunshine☀️

oscarpiastri: love you, thank you for showing me happiness🤍

[samara444]

please stop self sabotaging

you self sabotage so much because when you start to realise that great things CANN come to you easily and you actually CANN live a life that feels so easy, part of you feels guilty because your entire life you have been taught to believe that even the SMALLEST amount of success requires an IMMENSE amount of suffering and that if something comes to you easily then it cant be real.

so when things do start coming to you easily and you realise that the hardest thing about obtaining everything you want in this life isn’t about how many more hours you put into it or how much you work hard and struggle to achieve it, but rather about unlearning all of the patterns that keep you stuck in believing that you are not good enough or worthy enough.

this challenges your entire programming so you start to doubt and you start to sabotage yourself and sometimes you don’t even realise you are doing it.

because its a lot easier to continue to believe in this status quo than to internalise this idea that maybe a core belief that you have had your entire life is just one big life. its a belief we have been taught to believe but its FALSE.

you do not need to suffer for every good thing, you DOO deserve it, and it is rightfully yours. you dont need to work SOOO hard and stress and struggle. all you need to do is change your dominant assumptions, and thats not so easy either, so if you do change your assumptions, that automatically proves that you are soo worthy of having your desire, no extra hard work needed.

you do not need to feel guilty, its rightfully yours, because you have suffered long enough, you have paid the price, fallen down a million times and picked yourself back up. you have never given up, you’re still fighting and thats more than enough to prove that you deserve to get the happiness you have been looking for your life.

you CANN manifest, you CANN shift, it doesnt have to be hard. let the pain be a thing of the past and just change your assumptions and thoughts right now, stop self sabotaging, you have hurt enough, and allow yourself to have happiness without any conditions and effort. its in your hands after all.

- love, sam ♡

[therealflickerman]

Split Lips Masterlist (TASM!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader)

This series is canon compliant to TASM one but will be a lot different!

[ON HIATUS] kinda of… updates are slow and rare—though it will be picked up again after I graduate!!

series summary: Its simple hating peter parker, the cocky asshole who has made it his mission to one up you every chance he gets. In the same vein, its simple loving spiderman, the sweet masked vigilante who has made it his mission to ensure your safety. How simple will it prove to be when the two worlds meet.

content : angst, blood and injury, friends to lovers, death, death of parents, academic rivals to lovers, fluff and banter, idiots in love, mutual pining, happy ending, hurt comfort (r & p receiving), no smut!!, small emetophobia warning, fem!reader, anxious reader, lowk autisitc!reader but thats just my headcannon and not confirmed in the fic, not use of y/n, no description of race/ appearance (although she is able bodied for the most part).

four chapters/ ten chapters

CHAPTER 1

you finally get the chance to one up peter and officially have the honour of meeting the friendly neighbourhood spiderman that everyone has been talking about.

CHAPTER 2

You never want Peter Parker around, but you find he tents to show up whenever you need him.

CHAPTER 3

Spiderman takes you for a swing and shows you why he does what he does.

CHAPTER 4

You try your hardest to hide what you can from Peter though you can't help when secrets slip through your fingers.

[moody-alcoholic]

Chapter 8 - The New Hire

Summary: Simon x Reader, 4.1k words. Johnny finds a new fitting role for you as you focus your time on becoming closer to Simon and opening up to him more. CW: MDNI +18 content, mentions of violence, mentions of fictional terrorist attack, mentions of past domestic abuse, 'intimate' touching, breast play very fluffy more like breast holding if anything, hurt/comfort, PTSD.

Previous - masterlist - next AO3

Simon’s not said anything and you’re just staring at him.

“What did you see?” He asks. You swallow, should you lie. You want to lie. Then its easier right? Then he can’t get mad at you. You prop yourself up on your arm. 

“You were in the pump room with Johnny, You were, telling him to leave Amelia alone. You were beating him.” You say looking down at your hands.

He lets out a long sigh, he doesn’t sound mad just disappointed, upset. You look up at him, his eyes still focused on your face, his expression hard like he’s waiting for you to deliver the worst news ever to him.

“I don’t think any different, I don’t feel any different about you.” You say reaching out to touch his arm. It’s a reassuring touch, he looks down at your fingers brushing his arm. He sighs again looking back up at you reading your face like he needs to see if you’re lying or not. You keep your eyes on him not looking away.

“You’re not the monster you think you are. You’re kind, caring, going out of your way to protect strangers. That’s not something a monster would do. The people you talk to, grab whatever you call it. Those people are the monsters. You probably saved that woman’s life tonight.” You say, you’re almost pleading for him to listen, he moves up in the bed so you’re face to face and kisses you.

It’s not what you were expecting but you let it happen closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around his neck. He pulls you up against him as you sink back down into his arms. You let out a big sigh and breathe him in listening to his heartbeat as you lay there in silence. 

“I love you.” He says after a while. You smile feeling a wave of relief wash over you, he still loves you you haven’t ruined everything. 

“I love you too.” You reply running your hands up his chest. He lets out an audible sigh and kisses the top of your head. 

“Promise me you’ll never do that again, sneak around. I need to know you’re safe and I can’t do that when I don’t know where you are.” He says. 

“I promise.” You say. You mean it this time. You saw what you needed to see. You trust him, you’re not judging him. He’s still here that’s what’s important for a second you thought he was going to bolt or be mad at you. You feel him relax the tension on his grip vanishing as you press your body up against him.

   —————————— 

When you get to work the next morning Johnny is stood next to Kyle looking at something on the computer. Johnny winks at you when he sees Simon following just behind you. You roll your eyes going over to see what they’re looking at. 

“Did you hear about it?” Kyle asks as you see they’re watching a live news report. You read what the bumper is saying. It’s a terrorist attack, happened in France. 

“What happened?” You ask, Simon is behind you watching too. 

“Terrorists blew up one of the tube stations. Rush hour so a lot of people have been killed.” Kyle says, you see the number 50 confirmed dead, more injured. Thats a lot of people it makes your stomach do flips.

“Has Price seen it?” Simon asks. 

“He was on the phone with Laswell ‘bout it till the new fella showed up.” Johnny says. You and Simon both turn to Johnny.

“What new fella?” You ask frowning.

“The guy who’s replacing you now you’re part of the cool kids group.” Johnny says nudging you. You look at Simon but his expression is neutral, he seems more interested in the news cast.

You turn back to look at the news report, the correspondent in Paris is stood in front of the police cordon saying they suspect more bombs have been planted and the French military is working their hardest to find them. Until they do all public transport has been suspended. It makes you swallow hard, a lot of people have been killed more injured. 

“What are you all doing standing around?” Price’s voice comes from the doorway. Everyone turns and looks at Price and the man standing next to him. He looks young, maybe early 20’s, well groomed brown hair and round glasses. He’s handsome, fit, dressed nice.

Price goes round introducing everyone one by one, each time a name is called the person steps forward and raises their hands. Apart from Johnny who shakes the mans hand and wishes him luck which even makes you roll your eyes. You’re not really listening to what John is saying your mind too preoccupied with the terrorist attack news. 

“-You’ll show William around right?” Your head snaps up as you realise John is talking to you. You look round at everyone, feeling awkward. 

“Sure.” You agree smiling at William. 

“Rest of you my office.” John says turning to leave the room. You watch as they leave annoyed you haven’t been invited to join them. Johnny winks at you as he leaves of course he does. 

“Nice to meet you.” William says holding his hand out. You shake it turning round to the computer to close the news stream down. 

“It’s horrible. The attack.” He says looking over your shoulder. You nod moving the chair out for him so he can sit down. 

“Yeah, horrible.” You say as he sits down, you look over at the steps managing to see John’s door close. You show him the computer system the same way John showed you, he knows what he’s doing and after watching him a few times he’s figured it out.

When you’re happy you show him round the rest of the building explaining each room. This time you tell him the storeroom is for the drivers only. You take him up to the second floor trying to sneak a peak in John’s office. 

“We chill out here most of the time.” You say sitting on the sofa. 

“Seems like a good job, why’d you quit?” He asks.

“I didn’t quit, I help with the deliveries now.” You explain, he nods.

“Is it more fun?” He asks. You can’t help but smile.

“Yeah it has it’s moments.” You reply your mind going to Simon, spending time with him. You stand up when you hear the office door open, you’re not sure why and William follows your lead. Simon gets out first heading straight down the stairs while Johnny and Kyle come over to you. You sit back down. 

“She showed you the ropes?” Johnny asks William, who nods.

“You’re with me today lass, Si’s got some work to do for Price.” Johnny says. You hear the storeroom door close. You smile at Johnny getting back up and going to meet him. 

“Catch you later then?” William asks as you walk past him. You turn to see him.

“Sure, if you have any questions just let me know.” You smile, he smiles back and you make your way down the stairs with Johnny. 

“Christ.” Johnny whispers as he hops out the van, he sounds in pain.

“You okay?” You ask before he can close the door. 

“Just me knee lass, plays up now and then.” He closes the van door and you get out too meeting him round the front of the van.

“Right so we’re seeing Amelia, we’ve got to see if he’s been back and get the rest of the payment.” Johnny says as he locks the van. You can see he’s more unsteady on his feet then usual. 

“Amelia, Ryan right the guy you and Simon dealt with yesterday?” You say, you already know what the answer is going to be. 

“Aye, that’s the one.” He says you stop grabbing his arm. He turns looking at you. 

“Johnny I know you saw me in the pump room.” You say letting his arm drop. 

“Don't know what you’re talking about lass.” He huffs turning back to the block of flats.

“I talked to Simon about it.” That makes him stop in his tracks and hang his head you catch up to him and his spins to look at you.

“Look what happens between you and Simon is none of my business. I can see he likes you and you like him. Just don’t hurt him alright?” Johnny says looking in your eyes. It’s the first time you’ve seen him so serious, he’s sent a chill up your spine. 

“I would never.” You scoff, trying not to sound scared. 

“Good, ‘cause he’s a good man and ‘e deserves te be happy.” Johnny says before turning away. You nod follow him all of a sudden feeling guilty. You would never do anything to upset him.

Johnny leads you to the flat in silence. He knocks on the door as you stand behind him feeling like you’ve upset him somehow and you’ve never seen Johnny upset. The door opens and a nervous looking woman peaks her head round.

“Heya lass, I’m Johnny we’re from the delivery service you ordered.” He says, she looks at you in the eyes, she looks tired dark bags under her eyes, swollen cheeks. It’s an all too familiar sight. You smile at her softening your expression as much as you can after your spat with Johnny. 

“Come in.” She says opening the door. You walk in looking round her flat. You can see the tell tale signs. The double locks on the door, the knifes strategically placed in the kitchen. The coffee table with the bat hidden underneath. She’s not even trying to hide it. Johnny follows her as she goes to sit down on the couch. 

“When was the last time you heard from him?” Johnny asks. 

“Yesterday.” She says rubbing her hands together, her eyes find yours again, you smile at her. “He’s not been here today.”

“That’s good.” Johnny says. “We will be back in a week to make sure you’re definitely in the clear. If anything happens you know what to do you have our number right?” Johnny asks Amelia, she nods. You watch her rubbing her hands her hands together, you can tell she’s uncomfortable. 

“We just need to settle the rest of the payment then we’ll be out your hair.” Johnny says, he’s keeping his distance from her. That’s good, this is her space and she has to feel safe in it. She gets up off the sofa and you moves so she can go to her coat fishing out her purse. She stops turning to look at you her hands shaking.

“He would always sort out anything with money. This is the first time I’ve spent my money on something I wanted.” She says, you watch as she opens the purse flicking through the wad of cash. She starts pulling notes out. You don’t know how much she is supposed to be paying so you just watch her letting her count.

Suddenly the purse slips out her hands, coins fly around as it hits the floor. She jumps clutching the notes she already has in her hand. A yelp leaves her mouth. You instantly grab her hands in yours.

“It’s okay.” You rub her hand with your thumb. She looks up at you like she’s waiting for the shouting to come. You smile at her. 

“I’m clumsy too, just this morning I spilled my tea all over the counter.” You say as you watch her relax. You let go of her hands bending down to pick up her purse. You hand it to her letting her take it. You bend down picking up one of the pennies that fell out. 

“Here, see a penny pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck.” You say placing it on her palm. She lets out a little smile.

“I don’t think it works when it’s your own money.” She says, sniffing.

“Who cares, you make the rules now.” You rub her arm, looking at her in her eyes. She smiles and moves over to the sofa. You bend down to start picking the rest of her coins up as you hear her hand money to Johnny. He’s talking gently too her explaining that if he comes back in a week they’ll give her some money back, and deal with him.

You feel like you should be paying attention but you’re not, your heart is racing in your chest. You know what it’s like to be this on edge, scared any noise is him. You turn back to her putting the coins in her hand. 

“Sorry if I missed any.” You say, she nods and thanks you then you take your leave.  

“You did good in there.” Johnny says when you get back to the van.

“I know what it’s like, to feel like a prisoner in your own home.” You say letting out a sigh. You turn to look at Johnny. “Think he’ll ever come back?” 

“They never come back,” he smiles. “We make sure of that.”

Simon is still busy when you get back to work, he must be in the storeroom since you don’t see him any were but all the vans are here. Johnny takes you straight up to John’s office.

John seems on edge, papers spread all over his desk, his usually well kept hair sticking out in all directions. There are prominent bags under his eyes, the TV in the room is turned to 24 hour news and you can hear the caster talking about the attack. Even the way he asks you to sit down as he mutes the TV is odd, like he’s in a rush. 

“How did it go?” He asks as Johnny hands him the envelope with money. He looks inside it for a second before putting it in the safe behind him. 

“I think I’ve got an idea cap.” Johnny says. “I think our star recruit here would make a perfect customer liaison, we talked about it a few months back. Having someone go round and do all the face to face with clients.” John looks confused for a second, thinking hard then he nods like he’s suddenly remembered.

“Not a bad idea actually.” John says looking over at you. “What do you think?” You pause for a second, still processing what Johnny’s implying. 

“What would the job be, I would collect the money?” You ask. 

“It’s more then that, we’ve been thinking about it for a while someone who can liaise with clients, check up on them, gather information. Normally they guys do it after a job is complete but it’s time consuming and they’re not always the best at it.” John says.

“Hey!” Johnny protests, John just looks at him and shrugs. 

“Yeah, I mean it’s something I can do.” You say. John goes to open his mouth but his phone rings. He picks it up looking at the name before standing up.

“I’ll write a contract, we’ll talk more later.” He says as you and Johnny get up to leave. He’s almost pushing you out the room you barely get chance to say thank you. 

“Congrats on the promotion lass.” Johnny says, you nudge him. You’d have to make a list of questions to ask John when you had the chance to speak to him again. You follow Johnny back down to the van.

If the job was anything like what you just did you know you can do it. You know what it’s like to bee in the clients shoes, maybe Johnny was right this was a perfect role for you. It also means you’ll stay away from the ‘other’ side of the job the part Simon wanted you to stay away from, maybe this is a win for everyone.                                                         

 —————————- 

Simon comes back later then normal, it’s almost 8pm when he walks through the door kicking his shoes off. You get up off the sofa going over to him. Wrapping your arms around him and giving him a kiss, he smells of cigarettes. His arms wrap round your waist and you lead him into the kitchen. 

“I made pasta, I left a portion for you if you want me to heat it up?” You say opening the fridge. He kisses your head.

“I got it, you go sit down.” He says taking the bowl out the fridge. You smile going back to your cup of tea and the news. You’ve been obsessed with it since learning about the attack. You hear the microwave as Simon comes over to the sofa his hand squeezing your shoulder. 

“Can we watch something else?” He asks kissing your hair. 

“Yeah,” you say switching to another channel. The microwave beeps and Simon leaves after giving your shoulder a squeeze. You move over so he has room to sit. When he's comfy you cuddle up against him. The TV is showing some kind of game show Simon shouts at half the time, you don’t mind it makes you smile. It’s nice, you feel relaxed for the first time in ages.

When Simon is finished with his food he pulls you up against him as your arm strokes his stomach. You could spend the rest of the night like this then go to bed happy. Sleeping under the duvet with him, relaxing together. You look up at him and decide to bite the bullet. 

“Simon, can we try something?” You say sitting up on the sofa. He turns from the TV to look at you.

“‘Pends on what you’re thinking.” He says his eyes scrunching together. You suck in a lungful of air trying to calm your nerves. You’re rubbing your hands together as you think about how you want to make this work.

“Do you want to, touch me?” You ask. He pauses for a few seconds his lips pressed together while he think’s of a response. 

“What do you mean, like touch your arm? Or something else?” He says turning his body so you’re face to face. You close your eyes taking another big gulp in. 

“I was thinking more. My boobs or something.” You look away blushing, there’s a pit growing in your stomach. Maybe you’re not ready for this. Maybe you never will be but you want to try. You want to feel Simon’s hands on you, giving you pleasure. You can’t do any of that if you still flinch when he so much as brushes a part of your body you keep covered.   

“Do you want to lie down first see how you feel?” Simon asks his voice low, as he rests his hand on yours. You nod and get up to go to the bedroom. You don’t know if laying down will help but maybe it’ll feel more natural. You lay on top of the covers turning your body to the side as Simon lays beside you. You’re nervous your breath hitching in your throat. 

“How about we start slow, you don’t have to take your top off or anything. If you want to stop just say, okay? I won’t be upset or mad. It’s all about you.” Simon says, you can still feel the heat in your cheeks your body tense at the anticipation of being touched. You nod swallowing again to get rid of the lump. His hand comes up to your face, rubbing your cheek.

“You’re okay, you’re in control.” He says before dropping his hand to your chest. You move your body so you’re laying flat on your back so he has better access. He slips one arm under your head you can feel your head resting on his bicep, your body pressed up against him as he lays on his side watching you. Maybe if you were wearing a bra it would be easier, another layer of protection.

You trust Simon, you trust he would never hurt you. His hand works slow, he's gentle as it rests between your breasts, he’s watching your face for a reaction. You try to look calm, like you’re enjoying this. He moves his hand to one of them just resting his hand on top for a few seconds so you can get used to it. His hands are large he can easily squeeze your whole breast in his hand, which he does a second later.

His grip is firm but not rough, you can feel his palm pressing down on your nipple as he gently squeezes. His hands feel good, soft, warm and firm, it’s a feeling you’ve not experienced in a long time, someone being gentle.

Simon looks up at you leaning over to kiss you, it feels good, there’s a tingle between your legs as his tongue caresses yours. You welcome the distraction from Simon’s hand moving to the other side of your chest. His hands still as gentle and slow as he explores it your nipples getting hard with all the kissing. You feel yourself wanting to chase the feeling as he breaks away from the kiss his eyes looking into you.

“Feel good?” You ask, trying not to sound nervous, you don’t want to put him off. You push all your feelings away, the bad thoughts, the images of the last time you were touched. This is new and he’s not going to hurt you. You’re in control.  

“Yeah, perfect.” Simon says gently squeezing. You feel yourself blushing.

“Breathe, you're doing great.” Simon says his voice low as he looks in your eyes. You suck in a deep breath. Then Simon leans in and kisses you softly. It's slow and sensual his tongue playing with yours brushing over it as he moans almost like he’s drinking you up.

You’re barely paying attention as Simon’s hand moves to the hem of your shirt pulling it up just above your belly button. His warm hand rests on your skin. You pull away from the kiss. 

“It's okay, I'm just going to hold my hand here.” He says. You take in a deep breath. You're safe, Simon is not going to hurt you. You nod and let him kiss you again. You try to kiss him back but your mind starts to spiral, visions pop in your head before you can stop them making a lump form in your stomach.

You pull away from Simon turning your head to look away from him. His hand leave your body you feel cold like there’s a chill in the air. Simon pulls your shirt back down you turn to look at him. You feel disappointed, you should have done better. His hand comes to your cheek brushing away a tear you didn’t even know had fallen down your face.

“I’m sorry,” quietly leaves your lips as you look in his eyes. His head tilts to the side and he wraps his other arm around you to pull you over into his arms. You like that feeling his arms around you. He hugs you tight taking deep breaths, you follow him.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m so proud of you.” He says into your ear. You close your eyes and lay there in silence in his arms for a few minutes as your heart rate slows.

“How about we find another one of those cheesy romantic films, lay out on the sofa and just relax?” You pull away looking up at him smiling.

“I like action films.” You say.

“Even better.” He says giving you one last quick kiss before getting off the bed. You wait till he’s out the room before you thrust your head in your hands. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why didn’t you just push through it. You turn over on the bed looking at the ceiling. You’re never going to have a normal relationship.

You try not to be mad at yourself instead forcing your body out of bed and into the living room. Simon is in the kitchen filling up the kettle with his back to you. You walk over to him throwing your arms round him. 

“Cuppa?” He asks you hum in response pressing your face up against his back. You can hear his heartbeat. 

“You smell good.” You say smiling. This is good, this is safe. You should be happy you made good progress today, it’s better then nothing. Simon’s phone starts ringing in his pocket and you remove your arms turning away to the sofa.

You turn the TV on and it’s the news still talking about the attack in Paris. The death toll has gone to 75 and they found another bomb a few stations away from where the initial one went off. It makes you feel sick knowing someone could do something so heinous. 

“‘Cause sir.” You hear Simon say looking round to see him, he’s gripping the kitchen table chair. 

“I can be there in 20, does Soap need a pickup?” Simon says. You watch him straighten up and hang up the phone. He walks over to the sofa his hand comes up to your face. 

“Ever been to Paris?”

Next

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[whokilledsamara]

you should do a nsfw alphabet for dogday? :)

(but don’t tire yourself out, okay? ♡

you deserve a break every once in a while !!)

DOGDAY NSFW ALPHABET

a Dogday x reader list. {an: thank you sm for your kind words, i appreciate the support! happy to write for my fellow readers.}

warnings!: not too much for this one, dogday is a sweet boy. nsfw is a big one though! he is very vanilla, {ironic} and its just basic sex. this takes place BEFORE you and him escape. so yes, yall are still in the factory. {if you want me to do one from after the factory or something than send in the request and ill redo it} both amab and afab choices for reader!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

oh boy. this man goes OVERBOARD with aftercare. he does everything he can for being in an old warehouse. so dont expect to just walk off without him doing every possible thing he can.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he loves everything about you, so other than your face it would probably be your hips. doesnt matter the shape/size, he loves them.

on him it would be difficult to pick, being an anthropomorphic dog is kind of hard to deal with. if anything he likes his hands, big and strong.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

as expected due to the sheer size of his body, he cums a lot. depending on where you want it is where he will put it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

hes a very vanilla based guy {as said, ironic} and doesnt have many dark and deep fantasies. though he would like to be topped, so i guess thats one.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

buddy is clueless. even as human this poor dog had NO game. he's definitely surprised you even want to do it with him, which will make him try his absolute hardest to please you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

doggy style. self explanatory.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

hes serious but hes also very awkward at the beginning, though he gets more used to it after a while.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

hes covered in fur so there isnt much of a difference, but his groin area has more fur than usual {almost as a happy trail}, if that answers your question.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

very romantic guy. probably more romantic than sexual. he just loves you a lot.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

never has. and probably never will as long as he has you. his sex drive is almost none as he isnt made to do that. but you tend to spark some kind of reaction from him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

petplay, collars, dom and sub, maybe more depending on how far you guys go.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

not many options, so preferably secluded places that you wont be bothered.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you in general, but also his ears being scratched. i mean he is a dog after all.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

scat, vomit, or anything abuse related.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he has a big tongue surprisingly, so he does prefer to go down on you. wether that be eating you out or sucking you off {more like licking you off} then he is good. as for receiving, he loves it, but he feels bad watching you struggle. though a part of him is attracted to it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends, usually he is slow as to not hurt you, but if you ask him to go faster he will.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he doesnt HATE them, i mean, sex is sex and especially with you its amazing, but he prefers to take his time on you. he will never say no to a quickie tho.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

no. he doesnt want to risk hurting you, and therefore he will do everything to prevent it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

his stamina doesnt deflate due to his dog like nature, but he tends to stop after two rounds as to keep you safe.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he is a toy, so no.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he likes to jokingly tease, not really intentionally making you horny, but this poor boy CANNOT take you teasing him. he becomes a blubbering mess and pants heavily.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not loud, but he growls and grunts. not in an aggressive way of course.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he really likes dry humping. like yes go up to him and shush him while you hump his thigh, hell yea.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

goodness gracious. i guess being over 8 foot tall really helps you pack somewhere else. your poor hole(s) honestly, hes over 12 inches LONG and probably around 6 inches wide. hes a girthy boy.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

as said earlier, he wasnt made for sex, so its not very high. he happily obliges for you though. and you definitely get him going.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

hes a sun dog, and doesnt need sleep. but he does enjoy an occasional nap every now and then. that being said he loves sleeping with you.

{ created by @whokilledsamara }

[d33pd3sire-blog]

The Air That I Breathe Part 2

The long awaited part 2! Lemme know if you want a part 3 :)

This is an Emily Prentiss x F!Reader. Angsty, with a happy ending.

Warnings: Injurys, reader goes nonverbal, hospital environment, mention of blood, IV, breathing tube, bruises. Let me know if I've missed anything out.

Id just like to mention that I don't have autism or anything related but I do tend to stop talking when I'm stressed or experience things that can be traumatic, and this is how I feel when that happens so I do not claim to be an expert in this area

Character count: 8865, bit of a long one haha

Any suggestions are always welcome! Please enjoy :)

*--*--*--*--*--*

Soft beeping is ringing in your ears as your mind starts to clear, although you have no idea where you are. Numbness starting to wear off, causing you to groan in pain. Why does everything hurt? You think. Once the event flashes through your mind you remember. All of it. Your eyes shot open, the room spinning and your mind running at a million miles a second. Where am I? Where's Reid? What happened to the others? You try to get up from the bed you're laying on but something heavy is holding you down. Your eyes and ears start to finally adjust to the world around you and you notice Hotch's arms holding you down. He's repeating 'Calm down. You're okay. You need to stop moving.' You're still a little confused, 'I.. I need to help them!' you croaked. Hotch grabs your face, 'Look at me. They're alive.' Those words repeat in your head, keeping you grounded. Theyre alive. 'They're hurt but they're alive. If you hadn't of called us when you did it could've been a lot worst.' You barely let him finish before spitting out 'I need to see them.' Hotch shakes his head at you. 'Not right now, you need to rest.' You roll your eyes at him, how can he say that? 'I can't rest.' You spit at him. He ignores the attitude, he knows its not directed at him specifically. 'I promise as soon as you're able I will take you to see them.' Your expression softens, you know there's no point in arguing with him. Your body relaxes, Hotch releasing his grip.

*--*--*--*--*--*

Your eyes blink open, great. I fell asleep. You think. You look around, squinting at the harsh light to see that no one is here. This is actually perfect. You hatch a plan in your head, the hope of seeing the others at the forefront of your mind. You take a breath, gripping the handles at the side of your bed and lift yourself up. The pain causing you to groan, but you push through. The heart rate monitor attached to your chest is ripped off, causing the machine to flatline. You roll your eyes before switching it off. 'Thats enough of that' you scoff. Once your legs are ready to step down, you grab your IV pole to keep you up. That's the hardest part over with, you thought. As you start to walk, your legs feel stiff and crackly, making you hiss in pain. I can do this. You check the coast is clear from your room's window, before slipping out. Now, to go left or right? You look towards each direction, trying to decide which one calls you the most. Choosing left, you stumble to the next door from your room. As you take a peak in the window, your eyes gaze upon a sleeping Spencer with a slight smile on his face. Maybe he's dreaming. Your eyes drift to Garcia sitting in the chair next to him, seeming to play a game on her laptop. The sight makes you smile internally, he's okay.

A few seconds go by and you know he is going to be okay, so you move along to find the other two. Your feet is sore but you tell yourself to keep going. Luckily, the next room wasn't too far from Reid's. You approach the next room, finding Morgan reading this weeks American Health and Fitness Magazine. Some relief fills your heart when your eyes settle on him. He looks up, smiling, and waving you in. You use this opportunity to enter his room. 'Hey mama. You look like you've been hit by a bomb.' You attempt to laugh. 'Are you.. okay?' He smiles, 'Of course I am, i'm always okay.' You put your arm on your hip and give him a look. 'I'm serious, those cuts on your face don't seem fine.' 'I promise you, if something was seriously wrong id tell you. Just some smoke inhalation, Emily had the worst of it.' His face drops, realising what he said. 'Shit.' He could tell by your face that your heart had sank. 'Look-' 'Where is she?' You interrupted. 'I don't think that's a good I-' He tries to calm you down. 'I don't care what you think, where the hell is she??' He notices that you aren't backing down, and nods his head to the right. 'Just past your room, but I wouldn't mama.' You ignore him and walk out of his room.

The adrenaline pumping through your veins, the pain from earlier is at the furthest part of your mind. Not needing the IV pole to keep you up anymore, you rip the needle out and leave it hanging there. You couldn't care about anything except Emily right now. Your mind is racing, expecting the worst. You finally reach her room and you hesitate with your hand on the handle of the door. Morgan in your head telling you not to. 'I told you to rest.' you jump, turning to face the voice. Hotch is looking at you with worry. He takes your arm and wipes the blood you didn't notice from the ex needle site. 'You're not ready to be up and walking.' Your eyes start to water before practically begging, 'Hotch, I need to see her.' He looks at you, using his annoying profiler eyes. 'Please.' He sighs, before saying 'Fine. But before you do I need to tell you that she's doing okay, she's improving. Just remember that before you see her.' His words give you chills. How bad is she? you think. You take a deep breath before turning the handle and limping in.

The sight you walked in on was nothing like you had expected. Purple bruises swirled on one side of her face, you can tell which side the blast met her on. Your eyes trailed to the tube in her throat, helping her to breath. You take a sharp breath in, realising you had been holding your breath the whole time. 'Oh em..' You hobble to her side, hesitating slightly before taking her hand in yours. The touch between you and her forces the tears you've been holding to fall. Before you know it you're sobbing, your legs finally giving out. Hotch pulls you into him, trying to calm you down. He lifts you from the floor and carries you back to your room. He tries to comfort you, but there's only so much he can do.

A few hours later and the crying subsides, you're exhausted. The image of Emily imprinted in the back of your eyes. Every time you close your eyes, you're back in that room staring at Emily and the tube in her mouth. She can't breath on her own. How did we not predict this happening? How did I not predict this happening? The amount of time I spent reading through the file, profiling every inch of the unsub and yet we still got hurt. While your mind is racing, you didn't even realise JJ had entered the room. She asked you how you were but when you thought about replying there was no energy to say anything. The idea of even talking was too overwhelming right now so you just nodded. Anything else she said went in one ear and out the other. You weren't ignoring her per say, you just could not stop thinking about Emily. You're such an idiot, what if she dies and you never told her you loved her? Will you ever get the chance? You eventually fall asleep, not caring how long for. You just needed to rest and not be awake for a while.

*--*--*--*--*--*

Your eyes blink open, surprisingly you didn't dream. It felt like nothing, but a good nothing. Garcia is sitting on the chair opposite you, playing, you're assuming, the same game on her laptop from Reids room. Once you try to move, your whole body feels like it hasn't moved in hours. You groan. Garcia shoots up from her chair 'Oh my god! You're awake! How do you feel? Are you okay? Ill get the doctor.' You grab her hand before she leaves, holding it. Needing her to ground you, even if it only helps a little. She looks back, watching. your face for any changes. 'Hey, I have some good news.' You look at her, furrowing your brows. 'Emily is breathing on her own now. She doesn't need the tube anymore.' She smiles at you with this grin, like everything in the world is okay. There's a slight relief, she's doing better. But she still isn't awake. You grip the bar next to you, determined to get up. Garcia getting worried. 'Oh baby, don't get up you've been asleep for 18 hours. You need to pace yourself.' 18 hours?? You look at her in disbelief, although you feel well rested, you still haven't got the energy to say anything. 'Your body needed the rest, you still need more. What you went through was traumatic and horrific, please don't push yourself even more than you have.' You muster up all the energy you can find to force out 'I.. I need to.. See her.' you croaked. Garcia is shocked at how determined you are. 'Fine, ill help you. I don't like it! But there's no stopping you is there?' You shake your head, giving her the best smile you can muster. 'Stay here. Ill get you a wheelchair.'

The anxiety in your stomach starts to bubble as Penelope pushes you closer and closer to Emilys room. What if she doesn't wake up? What if she does wake up but her brain is all damaged? What if?- The door opens and you're pushed to the side of Emilys bed. Your eyes start to tear up again when you see her. What is it about this woman that always seems to push me over the edge? You take her hand in yours and rest your head on an empty bit of her bed. Tears are falling slowly, but you're just glad to be here with her. Please come back - you think. There's so much I haven't told you and so much we haven't done yet. 'Ill leave you alone for a while' Pen says, getting a feeling this isn't just a friendly exchange. You sit there for what feels like hours, silently begging Emily to come back. Before you knew it, you had fallen asleep again, the scent of her always calmed you down.

*--*--*--*--*--*

You felt hands playing with your hair, you humming at the touch. You open your eyes slightly, forgetting where you were for a split second until it all became clear again. You sat up with such haste, it made Emily jump slightly. 'Did you know you kind of snore when you sleep?' She smiled at you. The disbelief and excitement of Emily being awake and making sense has you shooting up to hug her. As you wrap your arms around her your eyes tear up again. She's awake! You notice Emily wrapping her arms around your waist, sending a shock up your spine. Once you both eventually release, she realises you're crying. 'Hey.. hey, love what's wrong?' You look at her with such love and relief it finally gives you the courage to confess your deepest secret with her. 'I thought you were gonna die. I thought I wouldn't be able to tell you the things I've always wanted to tell you.' She looks at you with attentiveness. 'I love you Emily. I always have and I always will. Every time I look at you I think I fall a little more in love if that's even possible? The only thing keeping me from falling apart completely has been you. Even if you were unconscious.' Emily starts to tear up, hearing you confess your feelings. Before anyone could say anything else, Emily grabs your face and pulls you closer to her, pressing her lips to yours. Your shoulders release the tension you didn't know you were harbouring this whole time and relaxes. Your whole body feels like fireworks are going off, you could stay like this forever. Emily pulls away and lifts your chin to look into her eyes. 'You're the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. I love you.'

[littlespacereader]

Can I request cg!spiderpunk with spidey! little reader who starts having accidents in littlespace and she's rlly embarrassed cause she's a hero? Thanks! Feel free to ignore!

Heck no I’m not gonna to ignore!! I absolutely LOVE this idea!! This is such a huge issue a Regressor superhero might have! Trying to save the world but what if you need someone to save your world?! What if an accident happens while fighting crime?! I couldn’t love this idea more! So I hope you enjoy this fic! Feel free to send me another idea!!

The Little Spidey

Caregiver! Hobie Brown (Spider-Punk) & Spidey Fem Little! Reader

Tags: an accident, pull-ups, fighting, stuffies, hiding/reveal of regression, sippy cups, stuffie,hurt&comfort

Nicknames: darling, sweet one, love

Alright let’s do this one last time.

My name is Y/N L/N. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for 3 years I’ve been the one and only Spider-Girl.

Thats is, until I realized there’s a whole multiverse full of different Spider people! Recently I became a part of this Spider-verse, which had its ups and downs.

My universe was completely different from everyone else’s, which took some getting used to. In my universe Age Regession was a normal every day thing for people. It wasn’t shamed at or thought of the wrong way.

I’m one of the age regressors in my universe. I regress really young so on missions I usually wear a pull-up, just in case I begin to regress or can’t find a bathroom in time. And trust me, with the long hours of crime fighting, this has come in handy on numerous occasions.

My suit is designed by yours truly. It has a special feature that wearing a bulky pull-up or diaper isn’t shown. It just looks like a normal Spidey suit. I carry a backpack with me at all times with supplies for myself and some extra gear for missions.

Because regression it wasn’t mainstream in most of the other universes, I kept it to myself. That way I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself infront of the other Spideys. There were some universes where regression was just a normal every day thing like mine but those were rare to find, and it was hard to ask incase the answer was no.

After joining, I quickly became friends with Hobie and Pav, my two best friends. The three of us would travel to different universes and kick some butt together! We really worked well as a team!

Pav always strikes me as a Regressor. But I never have the courage to ask him in fear of him asking me if I’m one.

I often visited Earth-50101 to see Pav and spent time in Mumbattan. But I spend most of my time with Hobie in Earth-138 London.

Hobie and I are the closest. He made me feel welcomed the moment I joined the group. Miguel and Jess can be a bit intimidating at times, but Hobie always takes me under his wing.

He makes me feel comfortable and he never lets anyone yell or order me around. He’s a very free spirited freedom fighter. In London I watched his concerts with his band and in my universe we got ice cream together. He’s versatile.He also has the coolest Spidey moves with his guitar! It’s sick!!

He introduced me to Pavitr. Now the three of us hang out all the time! And when we’re not hanging out we’re fighting crime together!

Despite our close friendship I’ve kept my regression hidden from them. When they come over I just hide all my little gear and when we’re out I fight my hardest not to regress.

So with my regression under wraps I continue to fight crime now not only in Queens, NY but in the multiverse as well! Nothing can go wrong!…….Or so I thought.

~~~

Today was my day off, if that’s even possible for a Spidey. I decided today I’m going to regress and relax the rest of the evening. Hobie is practicing with his band, Pav is on a date with his girlfriend and my watch hasn’t gone off with a new mission. So I’m taking a me day.

I ran to my bed room and grabbed the box from underneath. I ripped the box open and grabbed my favorite stuffie and pacifier immediately. Then I had a choice of sippy cup: am I feeling princess or hearts today? Ummmmmmmm…….hearts!

With my things in hand, I walked into the kitchen. As I washed and filled my sippy cup I started to ramble off everything that’s been going on to my stuffie. Gotta let him know all the juice crime fighting details.

Then I made my way to the couch, plopping infront of the tv to watch hours and hours of cartoons. And hours and hours and hours…..

I woke up some time later to the buzzing of my watch. I quickly jumped up and spit my pacifier out before answering.

“Y/N! Where have you been? We been trying to contact you.” Jess aka Spider-Woman yelled at me.

“Sorry I was asleep after a long day. What’s up?”

“We got another anomaly. Suit up we’ll be there soon to pick you up.” And with that the call hung up.

Be there soon?!?!?!

I immediately started to shove everything under my couch or in the couch cushions. Then I ran into my bedroom to get changed fast! I quickly suited up but not without pausing in my bathroom.

I forgot a pull-up, how stupid of me let me just-

Suddenly I heard a portal open in my living room. “Y/N! Where you at?” Hobie yelled out.

I eyed the pull-up and then the door. It’s okay, it probably won’t be a long mission anyway. Just in and out and I’ll be back before I know it. I’m totally not feeling Little in the slightest so I should be fine without protection. Wait who am I lying to?

With that little pep talk I stormed out of my bathroom, grabbing my back pack on the way, and greeted everyone in my living room. There stood Jess and Hobie ready for the next mission.

“How was practice?”

Hobie rolled his eyes, “Don’t get me started! What practice? I was two second from going on when these guys called.”

“Don’t they know you’re trying to be an artist!” I said all dramatically.

He laughed and smirked, “Oh darling don’t you know? I’m already an artist.”

“Come on you two, we got a mission to complete.” Jess redirected.

The three of us set our watches to Earth-3624 and then we took off into the portal.

~~~

The mission is simple, or should I say was simple. There was a Doctor Octopus found in the wrong universe. We were tasked with finding him and sending him to the right Earth. Only problem is he was somewhere in the middle of NYC. So we had all of NYC to find him…just the four of us…looking for one person…in all of NY.

If you’re saying to yourself “Wow that sounds impossible” you’re totally right.

The night began to drag on and on and on. I was exhausted from the constant searching for hours on end. It didn’t help I was also fighting myself from regressing. But as the night dragged on it seemed Doctor Octopus was winning and I was losing.

My regression nagged at me every single moment. All I wanted to do was find a place to curl up, grab my pacifier and take a nap. But I couldn’t! Not now! I had a job to do!

What didn’t help the most was the nagging feeling of needing to go to the bathroom. I know what you’re thinking and you’re right, I should’ve gone before I left. But I was in a rush! I didn’t even know I had to go! Now I’m sitting on the roof squirming every two seconds.

Everything was so frustrating! I’m stuck on some stupid Earth looking for stupid Doctor Octopus in the middle of the stupid night!!…..Okay, maybe my regression was kicking in more than I thought it was.

“Hey,” Hobie swung up onto the roof I was sitting on. “How’s the search going?”

“It’s going.” I said a bit frustrated. “How about you?”

“About the same.” Hobie said, sitting on the edge of the roof next to me.

“I can’t believe they got us working this ridiculous mission. You think Miguel and Jess could just handle this on their own. But noooooo. Instead they pull the two of us in the middle of the night to try and find this wackjob.” I ranted away.

“That’s right Y/N! Stick it to the man! Let that frustration out.” Hobie smirked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I started to squirm in place a bit. I crossed my arms infront of my chest in an effort to mask it.

Hobie eyed me curious but didn’t say anything about it. “I know Jess is searching on the upper east side. I just wanted to join you midtown and make sure you’re doing alright.”

“I’m doing okay. Tired but okay.” I tried to reassure him. But I felt as though he could see right through me. Before he said another word I changed the subject.

“I don’t understand how we’re supposed to find Doc Oct in all of New York.” I said dramatically.

Hobie laughed. “Yeah, what do they expect? Him to come to us?”

The moment those words left Hobie’s mouth we both felt it, our Spidey sense. Of course we jinxed ourselves.

We flipped backward and just out of range for a giant sign that was flying towards us. I landed back on the roof and looked over to an adjacent building. There, standing bold as ever was none other than Doctor Octopus.

“Hello Peters.” He smirked.

Hobie swung over first. “Yeah you’re wrong on both fronts mate.” He swung his guitar at him, landing a nice blow sending the Doctor backwards.

“Once you go against one Spider-Man you go against them all.” He swung his arms again, this time hitting Hobie and sending him backwards.

Now I stepped up, running up, casting my webs and swinging full force towards the doctor. I managed to wrap one of his arms up, but while I did he grabbed me with another. With my leg trapped in his claw, he leaned back and threw me to the roof of a building next to him.

The back of my head hit the ground hard and for a moment I was seeing stars. I was drifting, I wanted to get up and help but my body just wouldn’t let me. I started to fade into darkness for a moment. Both in and out of consciousness.

It was at this time my regression decided to give in. Choosing for itself that it needed to regress more than anything else. What tipped it over the most was the warm feeling I started to feel between my legs. Tears started to fall from my eyes as I realized I was having an accident.

Then came the float gates. My regression wrapped around me like a warm blanket, trying to comfort me in a time of pain and embarrassment. I just want to go home. I don’t want to be here with my wet suit and headache! I just want to go to sleep with my stuffie at home, my pacifier and my pull-up.

I shut my eyes, not wanting more tears to escape. I had to get up, I had keep fighting. What kind of hero would o be if I couldn’t.

“Y/N? Hey! Y/N! Are you okay?” Hobie’s voice echoed in the background. I could hear his footsteps as he ran over to me.

Oh no. Nonononono!

Hobie and I caught eyes the moment I opened mine. He saw everything already. How could I explain the puddle beneath me or the tears streaming down my face?! I’m supposed to be a hero, someone who takes care of others. But I can’t even take care of myself.

There Hobie stood, not disgusting or confused, but worried and concerned about me. “Awwww sweet one-.”

“I’m fine.” I said with a cracking voice. Tears still fell from my eyes as embarrassment filled me.

I tried to sit up fast but he stopped. “Wow wow wow there darling you might have a concussion. Easy does it, easy now.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and helped me to sit up slowly.

He sat beside me, letting me lean on him for support.

I tried my hardest to talk between crying, “ I-I can explain…it just…just-”

“You’re a Little? I figured as much. No need to worry yourself with worries. You’re okay, it’s all okay love. I’ll take care of everything.” He said plain as day.

Maybe it was the concussion. “What?” Was all I managed to say.

“You know, on my Earth everyone knows about regression. It’s more common than you would think. Plenty of Earths know about regression, even if they aren’t as open about as our Earth’s are.” He went on to explain.

“But all of that doesn’t matter right now. Right now we need to get you changed and padded. Then we need to take care of you and your concussion.” Hobie threw his guitar to his back and lifted me bridal style into his arms.

“Wait.” I tried to say.

“What?” He raised an eye brow.

“Don’t we have to get the bad guy?”

“The bad guy? First off, I don’t listen or do what anyone tells me, especially Jess or Miguel. Second off, I already too care of that for us.” He gestured to the roof across from us. There all webbed up stood Doctor Octopus.

“I already phoned Jess who’s on her way to take care of the boring details. I say we get a move on before she starts ask questions we’re not going to answer.” He explained.

After a moment I nodded my head, wrapping my arms around his neck. With the click of his watch Hobie and I were soaring into another portal.

Before I even realized it we were back in my apartment. Hobie walked us into my bathroom, setting me down on the counter top. Then he began to search around.

“Where are your pull-ups at Y/N?” He asked searching under the sink.

To be honest, I was still in shock from this day. Blame it on the concussion but I couldn’t even fathom that this is even happening.

As I watched him raid my bathroom I spoke up, “What are you doing?”

“I just told you I’m looking for your pull-ups.”

“Why?”

“Why?” He stood up and walked back over to me, “Because we need to get you changed before you get a rash or worse.”

I stared at him, still in disbelief. “Why are you doing this for me? How come you don’t think this is weird and why are you being so-.”

He immediately stopped that train of thought by holding my hand in his. “Hey, hey hey. No more worrying about big thoughts okay? Like I said earlier, regression is something I’m familiar with. I’m happy you have an escape from this life as a Spidey. It’s a safe and healthy coping mechanism. I don’t find you or any of this weird. More than anything I want to take care of you.”

“You don’t see me as a weak Spidey because I’m a Little?” I asked, still a bit insecure.

“A weak Spidey?! Hell no!!” He shook his head. “Do you think Pav is a weak Spider-Man?”

I looked at him confused but shook my head no.

“That makes two of us. Pavirt is a Little too. He regresses around the same age as you. Doesn’t matter if you regress, you’re still a Spidey. Don’t get me wrong, I love Pav and I take care of him from time to time when he regresses. But his girlfriend tends to him most the time, I’m just the babysitter. But there’s something special about you. You bring out a side of me that I didn’t know I had.”

He sighed, “I realized early on you were probably a Little, so I kept a careful eye on you. Before you, I was still the cool artist you see before you today. But I was always missing something…something amazing. And I realized that amazing something was you. Without or without your regression. I think you’re truly amazing.”

He leaned forward and took my hand in his, “If you’ll have me, I’d like to take care of you whenever you’re regressed. That way you have someone watching out for you and taking care your needs. I can see you regress pretty young so you’re gonna need a careful eyes watching your trouble maker self.” He smirked.

“So…what do you say?” He asked.

I honestly couldn’t believe my ears. Hobie wants to be my Caregiver?! Also Pav is a Little?!! But mostly, Hobie the “coolest, mysterious, rule breaker” Brown wants to be my Caregiver?!

In disbelief yet happy beyond belief, I smiled and squeezed his hand. “Yes. I’d love for you to be my Caregiver.”

Hobie smirked and squeezed my hand back. “Trust me darling the honor is all mine.”

“But first and foremost let’s get you changed out of that wet suit and into something more comfortable. Now for the final time where are your pull-ups at?” He said dragging the last part out.

“They’re in my backpack.” I shrugged it off and handed it to him.

Hobie took the backpack from me and started to take all the supplies he needs out.

“So you don’t think I’m gross?” I asked, still anxious about the whole accident.

“Nope. You’re a younger Little. Happens all the time. It’s no big deal at all.” He said as if it was nothing. But he’s right, it really is nothing. It’s just an accident. “Alright let’s get you changed darling.”

Hobie helped me take my suit off. He grabbed me a fresh pair of pjs and a new pull-up then proceeded to change me into both.

“There,” he stood back admiring his work. “All nice and cozy!” He picked me up and carried me into the living room. “See? Nothing to worry about. It’s as if it never happened.”

I hugged him tightly in his arms, “Thank you.”

He smirked, “This is just the beginning.”

He carried me over to the couch and set me down. “Hold on, who’s this?” He pulled my stuffie from the couch cushion. “Y/N you didn’t tell me you had a friend over. Introduce to your mate.”

“Hobie this is (your fav stuffie name).” I said introducing the two.

“Pleasure to meet ya.” He said, shaking the stuffies hand. I started giggling.

“Now, I want you resting on this couch. I’m going to get you some juice and a cold compress for your head, okay?”

The moment Hobie left I immediately started to miss him. He’s only been my Caregiver for not even 5 minutes and I’m already so attached to him. Plus he wasn’t even that far! He’s literally just in the kitchen.

Luckily he returned soon, sippy cup of juice in one hand, and a damp towel in the other. “Alright sweet one sit up for a second,” he sat down on the couch and pulled me into his lap. “There we are.”

He laid the towel on my forehead which felt sooooooo nice! He handed me the sippy cup before he grabbed the tv remote. “Alright let’s see what your earth has on the telly.”

I always thought that as Spider-Girl I had to be the one taking care of everyone else, but Hobie made me realized what I needed more than anything was someone to take care of me too.

I haven’t felt safe like this in a long time. Just leaning against him, watching some mindless show on the television and feeling safe and cared for. I curled into his side and rested my head on his shoulder. He leaned forward and placed a kiss to my head.

We stayed like that the whole night, just Little Spidey and Caregiver Spidey.

[ravenromanova]

Is It Really You? Pt. 2

Pairings: Other universe Wanda x Female reader

Warnings? none

Summary: y/n goes to her house in the other universe only to be met with her wife and kids? how did this happen? is she dreaming? 

part 1

your pov:

"(y/n)? is it really you?" Wanda says coming up to me and she puts her hand on my cheek and i take a step back

" Mom?" i turn and look at Billy and Tommy as their eyes fill with tears

" How are you here?" Wanda asks me confused and i give her the same look of confusion.

" What do you mean how am i here? how are you here? how did you get here? you were fighting strange when i got sucked into the blue light. ho-how are the boys here? where the hell are we Wanda?" I ask ask my heartbeat quickens and i can feel the start of a panic attack coming on. how are the boys here? This makes no sense.

" (y/n) come sit down please and i can try to explain as best as possible... i had a feeling this would happen." Wanda speaks softly as she grabs my hand and leads me over to the couch where the boys are sitting. When i sit down both the boys jump on top of me hugging me as tight as the possibly could.

" We never thought we would see you again mama. please don't leave us again. we missed you so much." Billy says taking my face into both of his small hands his eyes red from the tears running down his face.

"I-i wont leave you again baby i promise. but i don't even know where i am or how i got here. the last thing i remember was you coming in and trying to take the girl-" I slowly stopped my sentence when i saw the look in Wandas eyes... She looked almost ashamed at what i was saying.

" Let me try and explain what happened." She takes my hands in hers and looks in my eyes almost sorrowful but i can see a little glimmer of happiness in her eyes. She puts her hands on my temples and closes her eyes and suddenly i can see everything thats happened. My Wanda hurting countless amounts of people. She was causing absolute chaos. Then just when i think its over i see my Wanda come through a red portal as billy and tommy run away and hide from the woman that just burst into their home. Suddenly the other Wanda comes up to mine after being thrown around. My Wanda is on her knees crying when the other Wanda puts her hand on her cheek and says softly

" Know that they'll be loved." After she says that my Wanda disappears into thin air. And the other Wanda runs to the boys.

Wanda takes her hands off my temples and i stare at her in disbelief. I take a few moments before i finally find the words to say.

" So- so you aren't gonna hurt me?" I ask and my voice betrays me by cracking as i try and speak

" No darling i could never hurt you. i love you too much to ever put you in harms way." Wanda says softly and i look into her eyes to see if she's lying. I search and search into her eyes trying to really see if i can trust her. But as i'm looking into them i see the soul of the woman i fell in love with. I can see the softness in her eyes, its the way she looked at me on our wedding day. It's the look she had in her eyes the first time we said "i love you". I can see in her eyes she means me no harm. I think back to what they all said walked in. What did they mean when they said they never thought they'd see me again?

" When i walked in you all looked they you've seen a ghost and said you thought you'd never see me again.. what did you mean?" I asked extremely confused

" The (y/n) in this universe died.. 3 years ago in a bad car crash." Wanda say tearfully.

" You were in the icu for 2 months before the doctors finally said there wasn't any hope for recovery. you suffered a really bad brain injury that lead to extreme brain swelling that they couldn't get to go down at all, along with a broken spinal cord, 6 cracked ribs, and a broken arm and leg. i tried to keep you alive as long as possible but the doctors said i was just gonna end up doing you more harm then good because you had no quality of life left. it was the hardest thing iv'e ever had to do." She croaks out before she starts full on sobbing. I get off the couch and sit in front of her on my knees. I put my finger underneath her chin and have her eyes meet mine. I take a moment to take in all her beauty. I know i don't know this Wanda but i want to. Clearly she means no harm to anyone or else billy and tommy wouldn't be here.

" i'm here now my love. i know i'm a different (y/n) and i know its not the same but i'm here now and i promise i wont ever leave you or the boys again. it might just take me a little to adjust from everything thats happened with my universes Wanda. i know you mean no harm but after what just happened i just need a little time." I spoke truthfully. don't get me wrong i trust this Wanda for some reason but i need to make sure the Scarlett witch wont influence this Wanda like she did mine.

" (y/n) ill do anything on my power to show you how much i love you. but i understand where you are coming from. i understand seeing me like that wether it was this me or the other me you still saw the woman you love try and hurt you along with thousands of other people to get what she wants. no one should go through such a thing my darling (y/n)" Her sokovian accent came off really thick on the last sentence and i smile lightly at her words.

" I love you (y/n) no matter what universe you're from and i'll prove it to you til the end of time." She says kissing my forehead and i smile at her touch... gods i've missed this.

" Come on boys its bed time let's go get ready." She says after a few minutes go by and the boys give me a quick hug and kiss before heading upstairs.

" Goodnight mama" They say as they run to go get ready for bed

" Goodnight my loves. i'll see you in the morning i promise." I say blowing them both a kiss. Maybe i can get used to this universe. I have everything i've ever wanted within my reach. My wife and my children. What more can a girl ask for.

i do not give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on another site

series masterlist

masterlist

[intriq]

chapter 1 of my fic;

I’m sorry I’m the one you love

i went w this title cus it fits how i perceive AK jason feels towards being loved (he feels unworthy of it ur honor)

keep in mind this fic is.. gonna be both fluff filled AND angst filled (did you think i’d ever let you and jason always be happy? lmao no. ur getting the same treatment my ocs do)

In the eyes of the world, you didn’t matter. You were nothing more than a pest, a filthy rat scurrying around Gotham City. Even if you haven’t lived here your whole life, you still became a part of it’s problem. Not like you had any choice, considering you were but a child. Long since abandoned by your parents in a city you’ve since skipped and left, you find surviving in Gotham just as hard. But it’s tolerable. You know how to defend yourself, with bruises and healing knuckles to match. Gotham wasn’t an easy place to survive, much less for someone who barely knew how the city worked. All you knew is that danger was constantly lurking, in every corner and every street. You had no wariness of who the streets belonged to, of the rules etched into its architecture. All you knew of was survival.

Scavenging whenever you could, stashing the little food you could. Of course, because of you being essentially new to Gotham you weren’t aware of the rules. Or the territories and who owned what. All you knew was to run and fight to survive. Perhaps thats why he took a pittance to you. Seeing you do your hardest to survive, like him. He’s a scrawny kid, like you are. You’re both doing what you need to, in order to survive. The first time he’d seen you scrambling to steal food in the section of Crime Alley that he’d gotten in exchange for selling out his parents, Jason felt like you and him would get along. Defending this strip of land was lonely, granted him few allies considering no one wanted to even attempt to challenge him.

The first time you two talk, you worry he’ll attempt to take your hard-earned spoils like anyone else had. You’d clutched them closer to yourself, almost glaring and poised to strike like a snarling dog. The only difference being the lack of bared teeth. At the time, you were more like a wounded, cornered animal. You’d been injured because of a previous fight, pain flaring in what felt like all over whenever you attempted to move. So moving around was futile, the headache that accompanied it being the source of most of your discomfort.

It was cold, as cold as the alley you called home was dirty. It smelled and was located right outside some bar that smelled absolutely horrid. A putrid stench that lingered and seeped into the clothes of whoever hung around it. The stench clung to both you and him, mixing with the smell of car exhaust, trash, gasoline, and the other smells that clung to Gotham about as well as it’s crime rate.

But that’s fine. Jason’s been sitting still, inching closer to you every few hours. You’ve been defensive, and Jason doesn’t quite get why he is bothering at all to get you to trust him.

The first week he meets you it’s all he seems to do. When he’s finding himself food he can’t help but let his thoughts drift back to you, the only other scrappy kid that has bothered to stay around in what is essentially his turf for longer than usual. Jason’s come to learn most of what makes you tick, for the most part. Like how you refuse to move when he’s present or even looking at you, how you refuse to eat when he’s present. Jason doesn’t even get why he still bothers with you.

And you?

You don’t get it either. You don’t get why this kid just keeps coming back. You don’t bother talking back to him, just sitting there and nursing what hurts. The alley smells enough to make your head pound and hiding behind the dumpster when more rowdy drunken folk stumble outside for a variety of things. But you make it work, you suppose. And you don’t mind how the free food that comes with his company. You don’t get him sometimes, though. Don’t get his tenacity. Why he still bothers.

But maybe it’s because you also don’t understand looking forward to his short, fleeting visits. But perhaps it’s the idea that the moment your stupidly painful bruises and whatever else is wrong are healed and you can move, that he’d up and disappear. The silence between you both is as equally unsettling as it is comforting. The faint chatter of drunken patrons from the bar you rest near is just loud enough to have the same faint buzz of insects. And the air is warm and putrid, filled with the hideously disgusting odors that every city such as Gotham brings. Just any other sensible Gotham kid would give you a wide berth, but yet here he is.

Here this random scrawny street kid is, insistent on getting you to trust him. He used to talk to you, or try to. His words were always met with silence on your end. But perhaps he only continues to try after the first time he heard what sounded like a faint breathy laugh underneath that sigh you’d made to cover it up. You can’t even remember what he’d said that had been funny, but he does. It was a stupid joke, something about how this disgusting alley was at least a little warmer and better than the colder, draftier parts of the city and that the warmth was the only thing that made it worth staying in. Truth be told you’d rather be anywhere but here, even back with your parents even if they just might barely give a damn. But it was warm and never smelled. Maybe that’s why you laughed, because there was places better than this shit-hole of a city you now called home.

Yeah, maybe that was it. Maybe that’s why he sticks around, you think. Jason thinks that’s why, too.

[yermes]

PAC: 🐇

You know?

When you’re trying to grow and you’re trying to improve but then someone from your past jump scares you in the dms or texts. Then you’re in a state of questioning because if they reach out..? Are they really what you think of them? Its hard when you get that text and your stomach drops to your asshole and you’re SPIRALING because GOD FORBID WE HAVE A PLEASANT PAST!

What to do when the past rears its ugly head

Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. May do a more personal podcast ep! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰

Socials: Follow me!

Pick a meme

1 2 3

The cards

Five of Wands (reversed) 🦁 

Tiphareth, Lord of Strife, Saturn in Leo 1-10°

A complex past to say the least. There were definitely some complicated feelings which were twisted and manipulated in ways that still hurt you to this day. Block and delete bae block and delete.

Three of Pents 💰 

Binah, Lord of Material Work, Mars in Capricorn. 10°–20°

Its hard because they’re part of your past which built you up to who you are now. Not saying you owe them anything and I think sometimes its hardest hearing from these people. Theres a selfish aspect to them, like they feel entitled to you. They are not entitled to you. Thats the tea

Knight of Cups 🦚

Tiphareth, Vau, Lord of Waves and Waters, Fiery part of water, 20° Aquarius to 20° Pisces

Theres something poetic about the past which still stimulates some interesting aspects of yourself. When the past rears its ugly head is it really ugly to you or a beast misunderstood? They probably have a question or a proposition for you.

Extras:

Story/vent:

Love you

[pumpkinsy0]

this post is about the shepards having autism/being on the spectrum, strap in,,,

btw to b clear, they all got some other stuff goin on w em mentally, but im focusing on them bein autistic rn, im a bit rusty when it comes to talking about them w autism bc i havent talked about it in so long, I HOPE THIS ALL MADE SENSE

tim- the same way ppl see darry as being autistic is how i feel w tim, its not much of a difference honestly, so ion have much to say. he comes off as cold but he’s rlly not, he’s blunt and that makes him come off as rude to a ton of ppl and so therefore unapproachable, generally prefers to be alone minus like a few ppl (those ppl being angela and curly, and hes kinda had to grow to get used to pony being around a bit). he kinda has a monotone voice. he does have a same routine generally speaking and HATES when it gets fucked up somehow, he gets pretty agitated. his special interest is maybe like, space or somethin like that, but he seems pretty casual about it so ppl dont exactly understand that its literally a special interest, if that makes sense. he can notice patterns n small things other ppl wouldnt. i could see him having synesthesia and pain insensitivity, thats part of the reason y ppl think hes so tough in fights, they think hes just so used to fights he cant rlly get hurt like others can but no, he genuinely just doesnt react to pain stimuli that much 

curly- hes the one out of all three of em where i actually have him more fleshed out😭

he does stim, however its things that r deemed as more “normal” to do in front of others like bouncing his leg, tapping something, etc etc, but i will tell u a good chink of his stiff is chewed bc he just “felt like biting something”. he doesnt know the volume of his own voice and that gets him into a bit of trouble, sometimes hes rude genuinely without even meaning to and he things thats just bc hes a shepard, he has his moments where he takes shit literally or just doesnt get social rules. honestly i could see him being either a lil too clingy physically or him hating being touched by others, maybe hes a mix of both. he also has pain insensitivity and like i said, ppl think its bc hes gotten into so many fights, he just doesnt feel that pain no more, but nope, genuinely registers pain differently BUT if u want him to be hypersensitive to touch, i will tell u that he is tender headed so tim always has trouble braiding his hair especially when he was younger. this is like more modern day ish hc of him but ik he would be repeating words/phrases over and over (its called echolalia i think). doesnt rlly make eye contact a while bunch, its not bc hes nervous or it makes him uncomfortable tho its just like, a thing he does idk how to explain it. hes autistic but if u literally just got this nigga someone to get a look at him it becomes pretty obvious hes autistic, hes literally not even masking, if u had someone u hc to be autistic and they looked at him on his day to day life theyre def goin “hmm,,,”. hes def gotten into a fight bc he was overstimulated lmao

his special interest can b bugs or horror movie or something along those lines

angela- my girl angela,,,,shes the one masking thee HARDEST i just know it, ppl would deny shes autistic the most bc they dont understand autism in women, they would just say “shes just being a normal girl”, and i cant explain it bc we would b here for a while, but i will tell u she would show an obvious sign of being autistic and it gets written off bc ppl just see that as her being girly. ANYWAYS, shes hypersensitive (which means shes a bit tender headed, save my black girl), she gets annoyed by minor changes, has trouble making friends and this is for a multitude of reasons but her being autistic is one of em, has less obvious stims, she mostly plays w her hair, her special interest is more “socially accepted for a girl” and so ppl dont even see that as being her special interest which leads to her being undiagnosed, lowkey imitates other ppls hand gestures, and i have other ideas for her but i need to wrap this up this is becoming an essay😭😭

ANYWAYS they r undiagnosed bc they 1) dont have the resources to get tested lmao 2) they r black and black ppl tend to get misdiagnosed w something else bc they r so underrepresented  and 3) they r immigrants and immigrant parents dont rlly believe in having mental issues lmfao 4) they arent the “textbook outlook” of autism

[mrvenuspluto]

HEALING SOUL CHAMBER

I want take your mind, soul to a warm and calming setting. Need you to imagine, go get your favorite therapeutic candles, remove your heavy layers of clothing. Either bedroom, living room or anywhere that is peaceful for you. Oh yea! Please make sure you are alone with no disturbance. Place candle(s) around your room, bed, create you a sanctuary of healing. Lay a soft sheet down, light each candle now lay on your back. Its so much stress, baggage on your mind, shoulders need you to close your eyes, try to relax your mind and body. You may have to remove everything thats on your mind, take all those obligations, mundane task, stressful thoughts and let them dissipate. Need you to imagine you are on a peaceful island, the sky is purple with multiple colored clouds that change into any thought you have. You can smell fresh fruit as it gets dispensed into your hand just from a lick of the tongue. The air is so settled, calming and adjust to your emotions and mood. Your feet are embedded into the warm black sand made from black onyx and black kyanite. Every desire you wish for, every thought you crave for is yours from a glance and a wink of the eye or the emotions of your feelings. You dont have to walk to the beaches shore to feel the cool wavy water splash up against your legs. The water will come to you as it splashes across your feet, ankles and calves as it washes away the black crystal particles from your limbs. Now that your body is at a relax state, now you can focus on healing your whole body. I need you to focus on all 7 chakras, each chakra controls multiple organs, nerves while each chakra focuses on specific body functions within that region of the anatomy. You know where you are hurting, in pain, low deficiency, need strength or just balance. Im going need you to stay focused, dont let the outside of your body, effect your meditative state which it will try its hardest. ( your subconscious is very powerful, its something you built up for years and lifetimes also indoctrinated with false beliefs which gives denies power to one self, now you need to overcome those weak, falsified, ideologies.) Now focus on that one area of your body where it needs healing, now draw out the picture of that specific location and body part, organ, nerve etc. Be creative, you need to tap into your right brain, left brain wont be as good of use in this healing process. Now slowly slide your hand across the area while having a great intent to heal it without a doubt, any doubt or disbelief will transpire into a negative effect and be a waste of time. Now gently rub it, carress it while imaging to heal it, picture it being repaired, fixed, new, regenerated and healthy. Dont ask DEMAND IT!, you are the creator of your anatomy and have the power to heal yourself. Become a surgeon with your mind, thoughts, imagination and creativity. Now apply pressure to the area, if its your throat chakra, rub your hand across your throat while carressing and envisioning the color ( blue which represents the throat chakra) while meditating, how you WILL ( not want) communicate, express, manifest more efficiently and effectively. Your body will feel warm, your head and neck will feel heavy with tension its ok. You are now trying to let your soul take charge, your mind been in charge so so so long that its a natural reaction for these different scenarios to take place. Its your subconscious trying to bring you back into this reality realm that you projected for yourself, now you must recreate a new realm that is suitable for your new perspective of life. Now you need to tap back into that warm place you created and let your body be at ease and let your soul coast across the silky, satin clouds that taste like passion fruit.

Now if you pain or regeneration is needed in your root chakra area. You need to open your legs, place both feet together while making bottom of them touch. Your legs should be in a shape of a diamond. Now envision that area of pain or weakness being healed while placing your hand over this specific area, but not touching it just feeling the energy, vibration and anticipation of it being touch while letting the power of your mind connect to this area. You need to make your thoughts and focus connect to that area and become one. Now place your hand on this area while gently carressing this area while your thoughts are entwine with this are. Your body will feel at peace and rest. Now just lay there and listen to your body respond while it reacts your orders. When you feel a spark that goes to your brain, you will feel sensations throughout your body and travel from your brain to all the areas you been working on ( neurotransmitters) waking up and communicating with everything in your body to heal and regenerate you back to health. You will have a taste of the fruit from the meditative state while opening your eyes and lifting your head up. Now its very very very important to still have the same mindset you projected while meditating. No negative thoughts, feelings, ideas or outlooks should come from your mindset. You create your own reality, now this should be repeated as much as you need, doing this everyday will become a natural habit that will futher along your healing and regeneration to your whole being. Now im going need you to wake up! You been in my healing chamber for awhile!