#its honestly torture to be this smart and creative

[this-aint-massachusetts]

God damn it i need to stop looking at Pinterest because it keeps giving me fic ideas when I’m already drowning in drafts. But i saw this and made me think of drummer!clapton x reader

[dvilsdesire]

The many faces of Raphael

So I headcanon that Raphael can be seen as two very different people, depending on who is dealing with him. I truly believe that Raphael acts a lot. It is the nature of a devil, to understand their company and possible opponent, to lean into what it is that he could use against someone, and in turn, to lure them in for his own gain. To be manipulative and attractive, to get inside their head and to get under their skin so they can't stop thinking about what he can GIVE them in return for whatever it is that Raphael wants.

Raphael is a devil, and he is a smart devil, with wit and charm to top off that personality of his.

However, the opposite side of that charm and wit, when he is within company and attempting to manipulate someone, is someone far more cold.

Behind closed doors, Raphael, whilst he is still charming in his own way, and intelligent, is also far less performative, straight to the point, and often cold and blunt. Whilst he still has a very creative vocabulary, there is simply no NEED for it behind closed doors, and it would be wasted energy (unless he's getting something out of it).

This also comes down to the power that Raphael holds and can wield. For mortals on the Material Plane, Raphael is generally in control and much stronger. He can manipulate and control the situation a lot easier than he can in the Hells--for he is the only devil in the room (generally speaking), and he can use that to his advantage. Most mortals are terrified of his kind, and he can use that against them, trapping them and making sure to manipulate the situation so he is their only choice. He is a master at trapping others and even making them feel like they are making their own choice, when really... it's the only choice they actually have left because he's likely taken out the competition.

In the Hells, it's obvious that Raphael is not popular (especially if we can go off Haarlep's letter in endgame). As a cambion child, he would have been looked down upon because of that. If we lean into the theory that he's a nepo baby, it means devils would have hated him even more because of the privileges he was given above others, when that's not supposed to be how the laws of Baator work (though this is a theory I'm sort of... 50/50 on considering those laws).

I honestly think most devils see Raphael and think he's incredibly annoying to deal with, a fucking nerd loser who likes to sing (Yurgir pretty much confirms that Raphael sings even if it's for torture purposes), and is... as what most of the fandom has stated, a theatre dork.

This is where I see Raphael's power shift change in how he acts. If he knows he has the advantage over someone, he is that charming and pompous actor, grandeur in nature. However, when that power shifts, I believe Raphael is far less theatrical, and behind closed doors, he likely is a lot cooler and colder in nature.

I consider his relationship, in particular, with Haarlep, to be something far more domesticated (though not without its power games of course, and Raphael's constant need to attempt to stay in control, though Haarlep is far too good at twisting that control).

The art of a devil is being able to manipulate and gain control, to keep that control and bend anything to his whim. Raphael will always see himself as in control, will always be selfish, and will always be a cruel and sadistic, evil devil. Everything he does, he does for his own gain and benefit, whether or not it's control, power, souls, whatever else, and in doing so, he picks the best personality to go with what will get him what he needs, what people will find attractive in him.

But I do believe that behind closed doors, he drops some of that facade as it's simply not necessary, and especially when he is within the Hells, when that power dynamic can change as other devils are around him he must follow the laws of Baator.

[briefalpacashark]

=The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare=

=Plus a Woman or Two=

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Gus March-Phillips. A great, if not slightly mad man stood in a room in front of some very high-ranking men. Who in all their mighty power were in Gus’ opinion, groveling for his help. A welcome and successful change from pervious accusations of insubordination and such. In any case, it gave him a chance to kill Nazis again. And he would not pass up such an opportunity. ”If I’m to do this, I’ll need my own team. You won’t like them.They’re all, uh...” he paused to think of an accurate word. “mad,” he admitted honestly and with the upmost respect. ”They’ll need to be. Give us their names,” a man Gus knew affectionally as M stated, gladdened at the agreement. ”Henry Hayes. A smart, young Irishman who hates the Nazis because his older brother, who was a close friend of mine, drowned after a U-boat sank his fishing trawler. I’ve taken him under my wing ever since. He’s cunning, quiet and wily. More to the point, Hayes is a magnificent sailor and I trust him,” Gus started. ”If we’re going to try and sink a large ship, we’ll need Freddy “The Buzz” frogman. He can swim across the channel with his feet tied together. Admittedly, he’s a convicted arsonist and a terrible misery unless he’s destroying something. But he’s very good at blowing things up,” M listened closely as he lit his pipe. The second recommend man coming at a bit of a shock. ”Next, we’ll need the Danish hammer,” Fleming, the one who was in charge of writing down the names, looked up at the familiar and infamous title. “Anders Lassen. Grew up wrestling bears and hunting elk on his family estate. He’s a legend with a Bowie knife and a bow and arrow. He ran away at 18 to fight the Nazis after the Gestapo tortured his brother to death. He gave up filleting game for gutting Nazis. He then turned up on our shores ready to fight alongside us. He is an uncontrollable mad dog who knows a hundred creative ways to kill a man,” Gus finished. ”Most importantly, we’ll need Geoffrey Appleyard,” Gus stated. ”Yes, we thought you might. That’s why we sent him on a reconnaissance mission to Fernando Po. Unfortunately, the Nazis nabbed him on his return,” Fleming said with an apologetic smile. ”All the more reason. He knows what we need to know. He’s a master planner, a master survivor, a chess grand master and a surgeon with the blade. We spent two weeks together in a Dunkirk foxhole and if it wasn’t for Apple, I would still be there today. No Apple, no mission,” Gus put forth the ultimatum, speaking with nothing but reverence for his friend. ”I’m afraid that’s impossible,” M said with a shake of his head. ”Why?” Gus asked. ”Because he’s being held by an entire German garrison on La Palma,” M’s explanations barley even registered to Gus. Who with a nonchalant shrug said, “La Palma’s on the way,” The beautiful Marjorie scoffed at Gus’s blatant confidence, with heron by her side sharing in her opinion with a shake of his head.

”That’s insanity,” M thought Gus had to be joking. ”You let me worry about that,” Gus said dismissively. ”Alright we have our list,” Fleming stated, moving to set the pen down. ”Uh-ah,” Gus wagged his finger at him. ”It looks to me you're assembling more of a platoon than a team,” M said, taking a long draw of his pipe. ”Only one more. Patience Evangaline March-Phillips,” M sighed at what he knew was long coming. ”March-Phillips? A relative?” Marjorie asked, intrigued at the mention of another woman’s name. ”I’m sorry, a woman?” Fleming asked with a small scoff. Marjorie’s and Gus’ heated looks had him swallowing his earlier statement and writing down the name to avoid their gazes. ”My dear little sister. She’s made quiet a name for herself. The red angle she’s called,” everyone in the room could recall the name. A famous name that had eared its reverence. Yet that fact was overshadowed by the announcement that the owner of the title was a woman. “One of the best snipers the world has ever seen which last time I checked has successfully dispatched every target assigned to her. She can dispatch a man from about 2000 yards away. She’s also a wiz with anything mechanical. Anything that breaks she can fix. She knows how to build a gun from scratch and can name every kind off the top of her head. She’s fluent in seven different languages and she dabbles in aviation. That, of course, only covers the skills she is proficient in,” A beaming pride shone through Gus as he spoke of his little sister. ”Mad like you?” Heron asked. ”Alas, she is the sensible one of the two of us,” Gus chuckled. ”Very well. If you wish to bring your own flesh and blood into the folds of danger, so be it,” M’s statement had Gus glancing down. Of course, he wouldn’t want such a thing. If he had it his way, his sister would be happy tucked away in some country home, falling in love with a farmer with her only care being what to cook for her next breakfast. That was half the reason he threw himself into the war. Only she threw herself in right after him. They had stayed together in their earlier military days. Their time together ended when they were separated and Gus was imprisoned. ”She was put in danger the moment Hitler gave his first salute,” Gus stated. It was true. It was not only the solider’s who were facing danger every day. Air raid’s of Britain left no woman or child safe. ”Very well, you have your team,” M’s nodded. Gus smiled, cocking his head slightly, his eyes raking down M’s body. ”I must get me one of those coats,”

Stepping out into the cold night air, lighting a cigar at his lips, Gus on his person sported several stolen items. A total of 8 Cigar’s, not counting the one alight between his teeth. 1 high quality, gold cased lighter. 1 tailored high end coat. 1 belly full of high grade liquer. And one gleeful smile.

On the other side of the world, sat in a little shack, was a woman. About her allied solider’s shuffled about at their down time, playing cards and such. The only woman in the room, she held in her hands a dismantled hand gun, intently cleaning every nook. The rays of sunlight filtered through the shoddy window slightly, her simple features, her focused brown eyes and her well kept but unruly brown hair bound tightly into a braid. That woman was the sister of Gus. ”Patience, personal message, from a,” a young solider barely wet behind the ears frowned at the name upon the piece of paper. “Duchess Dickward,” her movements stilled, and she slowly turned a glint of familiar recognition passing through her eyes.

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Master List =Here=

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Chapter 2

[luffyvace]

Hello there, could I request Feitan with a (female)reader who has hemokinesis abilities?

Also she has a pretty harsh backstory that lead her to hate most of humanity, giving her trust issues, trauma and being very secretive before actually warning up to someone

Also she's a sadist like him =)

She too is part of that organisation I mentioned in the last ask-

P.S. I love how you write! 〜(꒪⁠ヮ⁠꒪)〜

ohhh okay so reader is female! OUUU blood control is such a smart idea for a sadist s/o w feitan!! Your so creative!!

Reader been through the ring of fire huh? WELL WHAT Y/N HASN’T!! 🤪 Ohhh I see I see~ Organization pt.2~

thank you! I love your creative requests! <3

ngl your backstory is practically his

so you guys relate on a deeper level seeing as though you pretty much grew up the same way

in fact you may even be from meteor yourself

i wouldn’t be surprised if you were

either way your childhood was trash so a lot of healing must go underway if you want to be a better person…

buttttt you don’t :)

in fact your a absolute sicko and sadist

quality time torturing definitely happens

And your hemokinesis 100% gets used during that 😋

draining them of all they’re worth only to pump them full a blood to the point where they think they’re going to explode

Its so funny! 😂😂

you and feitan really bond over this

its so cute💗

both you and feitan are secretive and don’t trust easily

Especially since you two are in two different organizations and such

you always sleep with one eye open in case one of you betray the other

it takes years for you two to find out even basic facts about each other

and I mean that seriously

two introverted people with trust issues and trauma?! 😆

that sounds like the ultimate slow burn 🤗

In all seriousness idk how you guys came to trust each other/open up honestly

like it probably happened with time and the fact that neither of you actually ended up betraying the other 🤦‍♀️

like you love each other! But if your unfaithful I’ll rip your heart out your chest<3

🙂

and that’s fine right?

cuz that normal love 💕

no honey, you two probably won’t ever have normal love but at least y’all happy

about your organizations they may look at you side ways for bringing love into this for one

and two if one organization tricks the other your immediately getting blamed

LOL

if it works out they’ll think you have a good eye for partnerships tho

so that’s a plus

if your organizations don’t meet and stay separate?

yeah you and feitan will prob keep things under wraps about you two

you already have trust issues

and you didn’t even trust each other for the longest time 🤷‍♀️

so if feitan introduces you to his people he doesn’t want you to be wary

but he gets why you are

he warns you about hisoka tho..

he knows you can handle yourself so he isn’t protective or anything

but he warns you about what a weirdo he is and how unloyal he is as well

He will never trust him

oh and by the way if you give in to temptations and like cheat on him or something the person you guys have been torturing y’all basement is getting switched out for you🧍‍♀️

ngl you think touché if you don’t get to him first

😜

the troupe is split between thinking partnering with you is a bad idea and a good opportunity

Either way chrollo ultimately decides you could be a useful ally

so you stick around occasionally

doesn’t mean you trust the troupe tho

you shoot the ones you dislike glares

you probably get along with machi or pakunoda first

but you sense something fishy about shalnark’s fake smile

Chrollo thinks your okay tho!

even though you don’t really trust him because you can never tell what he’s thinking

your intelligent, it’s just that he always has this unreadable expression on his face…

if the troupe gets introduced to your organization

chrollo and your boss will likely talk to each other

And the rest of your members and the troupe either mingle or observe from accross the room

feitan will observe

he doesn’t really interact much

you could try to introduce a co worker to him but he won’t go out of his way to be friendly or anything

if any of your co workers ever betray you..

it’s time for quality time torturing!!

and this ones’ a special guest~ ;)

my apologies dear! These are rather short but I hope you enjoyed them regardless<3

[hballegro]

UH OH sam OPERATED

ch 3 of Queap/MASH crossover episode

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS OVER HALF JUST O.R. I DID MY BEST NOT TO BE HEAVY-HANDED BUT IT IS SURGERY AND I AM EXPLICIT ABT THAT.

torture the bisexual brunette man some more

endorsement from my really cool and smart friend;

bts [including detail of what all the medical shit was since i had to research a LOT for this]

First off; the end of the chapter has a scene abt bj freaking out over stitches. i wrote a note at the end of the chapter explaining WHY he freaks out, but for those of you that dont know what suture types look like [me, like a week ago], this is a very shitty diagram i made

as you can see, hawkeye's USUAL pattern [with a totally different suture material] is pretty minimal, just some small lines/dots. meanwhile sam is making the barber pole/screw/candy cane that i described.

the mattress suture, i BELIEVE, is like. the 'better' one, like its really secure, and even if one fails the whole thing wont, and also shows minimally. but the simple continuous is EASIER and the more 'obvious' choice. not to mention the material change [someone from 1999 would probably prefer silk. cotton is more... brittle? and it slides less easily. learning curve.]

anyway i'll put snips of my document but incase u have a screenreader or just dont wanna use images to read, heres the google doc . this is just what i had on-hand to help guide the scene and get the details right

honestly this shit was super fun. very 'AOUGHHH WHAT DO YOU MEAN' but very fun. would do again. love doing that shit. love making the viewer suffer.

anyway

heres also this shitty diagram to explain how/why sam was looking in the wrong place for the bullet. its cause his brain was looking at the Now position of the wound and not the Then position

i wish i had more excuses to write anxiety-filled surgery scenes this was funnnnnn

also for anyone wondering. my bts started because i am usually very Loud with my creative process, and i posted like 'oo and heres some behind the scenes' for a digital painting and someone commented that as a non-creative, it was a nice insight into things, and now thats been reinforced by someone else saying the bts was fun to read on my Havin' A Ball sam and al piece. so. the bts will continue lol

gives you all insight as to why i dont have a schedule to when i post things because. ough.

i also type up these announcement and bts posts before i publish the next chapter, cause i wanna do it all in 1 swoop, so i have to write them with no link yet

so it just looks like this in my drafts

[rebelsofshield]

Star Wars Andor: “Narkina 5″ - Review

Cassian is sent to prison in an episode that shows new depths of Imperial oppression and finally starts to connect some of Andor’s disparate plot threads.

Charged with a six year sentence for a nonsensical crime, Cassian is shipped off to the prison planet of Narkina 5. There he must take part in the Imperial industrial machine, meeting daily quotas or risking nightly torture. Meanwhile, Dedra Meero in a bid to weed out Cassian, her only lead on the string of robberies on Imperial bases, tightens the Empire’s grip on Ferrix.

Andor has been absolutely ruthless in its critique of the many ways imperialist forces oppress the lower class of the galaxy in the name of power and profit. It only makes sense that the Tony and Dan Gilroy along with the rest of the creative team would eventually direct their attentions towards the prison industrial complex. Under the pen of former  House of Cards writer Beau Willimon, “Narkina 5″ not only takes the time to introduce Cassian to his new back-breaking reality, but also clearly set in place the many different ways that the Imperial prison system breaks its workers while also forcing them to be productive cogs in the military assembly line. Prisoners are introduced to grueling work days where being productive and quick affords meager awards like minor improvements in food, while failing to keep up with quota triggers electrocution. It’s an insidious tactic to prevent organization and control morale while also ensuring that the incarcerated do the Empire’s bidding.

It’s also smart how this chapter comes immediately after depicting a crackdown in arrests in the name of creating security. To the worm liquor sipping upper class of Coruscant it might be easy to think that this law is meant to catch dangerous criminals or insurrectionists, but to the working class citizens of the galaxy it’s a transparent attempt to round up potential slave labor using draconian insurrection laws as the reasoning. It’s a very clearly articulated argument that draws impossible to ignore connections to real world abuse of penal systems and prison labor. Andor is a smart show and it communicates its political messages with an unflinching bite that is honestly more than a little surprising at times. Star Wars has always been political, but rarely has it ever been this fiery and specific in its criticism.

The sections on Narkina 5 work a bit less in terms of character. Diego Luna’s close ups and subtle mannerisms are always going to be standouts, but Willimon’s script here is more interested in laying out the ins and outs of the prison system than in exploring our protagonist’s psychological state or that of his cell mates. A surprise appearance by Andy Serkis is a highlight though and I appreciate how his character Kino Loy has obviously let the small modicum of power afforded to him go to his head.

But “Narkina 5″ is a busy episode and lots of other story threads are woven together. Dedra Meero’s crusade to flush out Luthen Rael, who she and her cohort have taken to calling Axis, is spreading quickly and it isn’t long before Syril Karn is brought in for questioning. Just finally getting these two characters in the room, who are frankly our two principle antagonists, feels like the culmination of multiple storylines. Sure, Dedra tosses Syril aside, but the connection has been made and his smirking grin tells us that he doesn’t think the Empire is finished with him.

Meero’s crackdown hits Ferrix even harder and we finally get to see the rest of our opening ensemble here as the Empire flexes its oppressive muscle. Sure, Maarva may have hope that an off world rebellion may arrive to liberate the planet but Bix, Brasso, Salman, and the rest of the planet are facing the harsh reality of Imperial wrath. As her neighbors and friends are tortured, Bix reaches out for help but gets none. She and her family are on their own. It’s a stark reminder of the stakes of the early rebellion. Not every ally can be helped.

I mean, the larger rebellion is in fact on Ferrix, but they have other things on their mind. It’s refreshing to see Vel and Cinta together once more and see the franchise actually show us a complex and well written queer romance. There is undeniable love and affection between both women and Vel in particular is ready to take a breather from the fight and be with her partner. However, Cinta has other things on her mind as she is unable to shake her commitment to the rebellion.

It parallels nicely with our other romantic (if you can really call it that) pairing on the show between Mon Mothma and Perrin Fartha. We learn that the two, as per Chandrilan custom, married in their teens and that back in their youth Perrin was himself a bit of a political radical. It shines a light on how this couple who often seem so ideologically opposed from one another even came to be and shows a marriage that has been dying a slow death from personal and political fissures. Perrin is more than comfortable living in the opulent world of Senatorial parties and Coruscanti skylines and seems even accepting of Palpatine’s increasing moves towards a surveillance/police state. We’ve established by now that Mon doesn’t full trust her husband but now it’s clear that the two are likely on two sides of the coming conflict and what’s around the corner can’t be easy.

Finally, Luthen makes contact with one of the galaxy’s most infamous resistance fighters. Yes, Forest Whittaker makes his live action return as Saw Gerrera here. It’s not yet clear what role he will play in the series down the line, but Saw’s role here makes for a great illustration of just how hard Luthen’s goal of uniting the disparate rebel factions is. Sure, they all may be opposed to the Empire but as Saw argues each have their own agendas and ideologies. And not all of them may play well together. It’s a reminder of how the Rebel Alliance is really just that and that the united front we see in the Original Trilogy was not something that came about easily.

Even if “Narkina 5″ isn’t as focused as past episodes or as revelatory regarding its main character, it still gives us meaty character moments, pay off for long running storylines, and an even more prescient political message. It’s sometimes easy to take for granted just how smart Andor is as a series and just how high it is raising the bar for Star Wars television. Even its less striking episodes can talk circles around most of the rest of Lucasfilm’s output. It’s not just fantastic Star Wars. It’s just fantastic television. I’m starting to mourn the fact that we only have four episodes left.

Score: A-

[kumaradosha]

I’m seeing a whole lot of bad takes and ignorance of past/present content and lack of critical thinking or ability to understand character motives regarding this most recent Dream SMP lore. So please, allow me to lay down some facts, some sense, and also some speculation of my own. This’ll be really rambly, because I’m tired, and I want to say a lot. Rewatching ALL the streaming perspectives now, my thoughts start here:

Considering Sam doesn’t want to enter the cell to dirty his hands himself, he clearly has some aversion or moral qualms about torturing prisoners, but Quackity has convinced him to go along with it. Quackity spends a lot of time before he goes into the cell repeatedly making sure Sam won’t have a change of heart and intervene, which indicates Sam probably has some misgivings. Quackity feels he has to remind Sam that this is for the greater good and to stand back and let him do his thing and that this will probably be the last time. These are all reassurances and instructions that would not be necessary if Sam were known to be totally cool with it all already.

Sam believes the stringent measures Dream put in place for the prison are just desserts for him to suffer, but Techno doesn’t deserve the same cruelty, because Techno didn’t enact those rules. And that’s why Techno gets baked potatoes from Sam, and Dream doesn’t. Sam clearly believes this harsh treatment is justified, because Dream was going to do it to someone else. He thinks he’s being just. Of course, allowing the torture, though not his idea and not really comfortable to him, was still crossing a line, considering physical torture was not something Dream did to his victims (and besides, there’s the argument that not everything a criminal has done is morally correct to be done to the prisoner regardless). That, he was convinced, was for the greater good, to get the revive book. Quackity manipulated him; he thinks he’s doing what’s best, but no, of course that doesn’t make him right or his hands clean.

Sam wanted the dog dead because it’s a security risk, especially with Quackity entering the cell with two other people. He killed it later for the exact same reason. Y’all act like nobody else has ever killed an animal in Minecraft RP; get it together. Is Sapnap also evil? Tommy? He killed his own cat. Random animals are not treated with the gravity you guys are giving them; it makes no sense to call out this one time.

When Techno raised the point that he would be fine if Quackity killed him, because Dream could just bring him back, Dream countered with his warning that Techno doesn’t want to experience death, judging by how messed up it made Tommy. What motive would he have to argue that, aside from actually caring about Techno’s well-being? If Dream was only thinking of himself, he would benefit from Techno being willing to die and be brought back to life by him, giving him an easy reason not to give the resurrection knowledge to Quackity. I honestly can’t think of a reason he would argue other than the fact that he doesn’t want Techno to die even temporarily or experience death--that he cares. Interesting...

Dream hiding in the escape tunnel to make it look like he disappeared too was 5,000 IQ, but he didn’t do it just to be silly or smart. Quackity literally threatened to kill Dream when he came back. Dream HAD to pretend to disappear, because he was legitimately in fear for his life. You saw how terrified he was when Sam found him, how he just immediately begged him not to tell Quackity. He was afraid Quackity would come back and kill him before Techno managed to come back and break him out. He believed that would be his fate and had to make a last ditch attempt to avoid that outcome.

Phil confirmed on stream that the blueprints Techno was led to via coordinates are for the prison. Not Tubbo’s missing nuke, like I’ve seen speculated.

“Steve is your polar bear” was written on stream during the “Prison Podcast” Technoblade lore. This is not a mystery. Dream said he wrote it down when Techno started talking about Steve rescuing them.

If Sam doesn’t approve of Quackity killing Dream, why doesn’t he just tell Quackity Dream is still in the prison but not allow Quackity in anymore? Quackity needs Sam to lead him inside, to let him in. Since when did he have any power against Sam to force him to let him in? I don’t understand why Sam has to keep it a secret just to keep Dream alive. Just don’t let Quackity into the prison anymore. Clearly it was a bad idea, since all these security risks happened while Quackity was getting a free pass to not follow the rules of the prison.

Dream casually walking in the way of Sam’s pickaxe to disrupt his swing once Sam almost had the bell broken gets me every time.

The rapport between c!Dream and c!Sam in prison fascinates me. Clearly Dream is much bolder with Sam than Quackity and still seems to trust his sense of duty to a degree. Sam is also more malleable, convinceable, his fatal flaw being actually listening and talking to Dream, even after it clearly messes with him psychologically. He let Quackity manipulate him, too, and he compromises too much. That might seem weird to say, considering the harsh conditions he has Dream in, but. He does give in to a few things.

I’m wondering if Dream wanted to go to the courtyard hoping it was less secure and easier for Techno to break him out of.

Sam has no reason to lie and gaslight about Dream being the one to suggest raw potatoes and sealing up the courtyard. That’s not in his character to do. So clearly Dream suggested these things. In fact, we have proof. Search for the clip of Dream revealing a teaser for future lore, with him telling Sam the hole in the courtyard ceiling for the light is a security flaw. He straight up says that. Update yourselves. Furthermore, are the recordings we have of Dream suggesting nicer features for the prison even lore? Are they in-character, or was it cc!Dream and Sam making plans? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t remember/am not sure. In any case, clearly the plans changed at some point, and they were Dream’s idea.

Dream said he didn’t realize how bad it was until after he experienced it. This could very well be a lie. However, it could also be a wake-up call. We just don’t know. Dream clearly possesses low empathy, and every person at some point doesn’t fully realize how poorly another being can feel in a bad situation. Sometimes it actually does take experiencing it yourself to realize how it feels. People can do cruel things to others before the empathy fully clicks. It is possible that Dream really does only now understand how harsh his plans were. Unfortunately, it’s just as likely he doesn’t care and is pretending to, because he has a history of acting, lying, and manipulating. We just do not know, and I think that’s part of the fun, the speculation. Note that none of this is excusing what he’s done; that bores me. I just like understanding characters and their psychology and motives.

Sam is ASKING if Dream had this prison built for Tommy. He is suspicious that that is the case. Dream did not TELL him this, because OBVIOUSLY Sam would have absolutely nothing to do with building a prison he knew Dream meant for Tommy. So no, Sam thought it was for something else. And guess what? It was. Back during the disc war finale stream, Dream told Tommy and Tubbo that the prison was originally intended for someone else (maybe multiple people, the number was not specified), but that he changed his mind and would now put Tommy in it (ha ha punny). Tubbo asked who it was originally intended for, and Dream wouldn’t tell him, preferred to keep it a mystery. Dream had zero reason to say this if it weren’t true. In fact, it would have been more impactful to pretend (or admit) he intended it for Tommy all along. Think of the horror, or even the betrayal finding out Sam, his friend, helped make it. So yes, there is every indication that it is the truth--Dream meant the prison for someone else at first.

And Dream didn’t argue with Sam’s accusations, because why WOULD he? If he didn’t tell Tubbo who it was for, he wouldn’t tell Sam now. Plus, he wouldn’t want to argue with Sam, make him more heated and less sympathetic, and risk him deciding to tell Quackity Dream was there after all. Dream has no reason to speak up. Let Sam think what he wants. Dream’s silence does not mean confirmation. This is not a new thing with him. He keeps things mysterious, and there is a lot about his planning and mindset he does not disclose.

Now, whether Dream made the prison harsher before or after he decided he wanted Tommy in it is up for speculation. We don’t know that timeline.

Anyway, Sam’s speech about Dream getting what he deserves is really delicious. All these people out here mocking Dream fans for Dream still being in prison (like Techno’s not imminently coming to break him out, hello?) and being told off by Sam, yet plenty of us are enjoying it, too, like?? Bruh, what kind of Mary-Sue-touting asshole likes characters who are flawless who never go through strife? Can’t be me. I love watching my favs through triumph AND despair, so this is all just a win for me, thanks.

It is possible to sympathize with a bastard who is highly flawed and wrong AND to understand his motivations without justifying his actions AND to realize he deserves punishment (though to what degree I don’t care to argue). All the black and white morality and taking one extreme stance of “this character is perfect!��� OR “this character is wholly evil and only ever does things to be sadistic!” and polarizing the community is cringe, yo. You need to calm down. Enjoy the ride or like...get off?

Anyway, Dream is my favorite, Techno is my second favorite, I adore Sam, I really enjoy Quackity, and the SMP wouldn’t be the same without Tommy. So much love for all of this creative work and its creators. I’m having a blast.

[princesssarcastia]

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.

[jesuschristtakethewheel]

Wanna Bet?

Summary: “I bet you can’t go 24 hours without cussing.”

Warnings: Lots of explicit language. Very creative explicit language. Basically crack humor.

Word Count: 2178 (Officially the longest thing I have ever written)

This is for @navybrat817​ and @stargazingfangirl18​ ‘s writing challenge (i finished with 3 hours to spare lol) and the prompt that I used is bolded below. Although it isn’t smut, I really hope you enjoy!

It started as a bet, as most things do. You couldn’t believe the whole world thought Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, was the epitome of chivalry and good manners. You guess people idolized the 40s as having chivalric gentlemen, who could do no wrong. If you went on national television and told everyone the all-American, patriotic Captain America said twelve variations of the word “fuck” in the last minute, not a single soul would believe you. It was honestly ridiculous and a bit naive of the public to think a man from Brooklyn in the 1930s, who served in the US Army, who had been standing up to bullies ever since he could walk, wouldn’t ever curse. 

When you were preparing to meet Captain America for the first time, you understood that he would be different from what the media portrayed him to be. But you really didn’t expect that you would meet Captain America while he was cursing out a bag of broccoli. The fact that Captain America cursed wasn’t surprising to you, but the fact that Captain America cursed like a sailor -- very, very creatively and for the dumbest of reasons -- was, frankly, both hilarious and offsetting. You didn’t think you would ever be able to get the thought of Steve describing broccoli as “fuckin’ green dickweasels who’re making a mockery of actual trees” out of your head. 

It was an hourly occurrence to hear new inventive curses from Steve, such as “wankhammer”, “fopdoodle”, “douchenozzle”, and “cockwaffle”. Your personal favorite was “fucktangular”, but “asstrumpet” was a close second.

_________

You knew two things: you were exhausted and the world was safe for now. Each step leeched the remaining scraps of energy from your body as you trudged, one step at a time, back to the Avengers Compound. The lingering slime from the aliens that attacked had made its way everywhere - inside your combat gear, in your hair, and even in between your toes. Every movement you made was accompanied by a cacophony of squelches, curses and groans, both from you and the other Avengers. Steve didn’t disappoint, commenting that “the arsebadger aliens could have been cleaner” while futilely attempting to wipe the slime off his shield, only managing to spread it even more.

Entering the elevator with the others, you leaned against the side rails and waited, transferring some alien remains to the elevator while doing so. Too tired to do anything, but too wired to sleep, you collapsed on the couches in the lounge and the others followed your lead. 

“Fuck.” Steve groaned. Everyone turned to look at him and found he was sprawled like a starfish on the floor. The supersoldier had fallen off the floor. If you had the energy to do so, you’d be laughing your head off.

“I thought you could do this all day, Mr. America?” Bucky smirked. He was the only one still standing, and wasn’t even looking at Steve. He was sharpening his knives in the corner of the room. Fucking supersoldiers with enhanced senses.   

“Leave me alone, dickweasel.” Steve muttered, rolling onto his side while flipping Bucky off.

“Hey Cap,” you called, voice slightly muffled by the couch cushions. “You curse so often that I bet you can’t go 24 hours without cussing.”

“Capsicle can’t go an hour without cursing, let alone a whole day,” Tony said, grinning. “He’d never take the bet.”

Steve huffed. Everyone knew about Steve’s competitive streak. He would never back down from a bet. “It’s on. Starting at 12 tomorrow, I’m not allowed to use any curse words for 24 hours. I’ll be tracked by F.R.I.D.A.Y all day so there aren’t any complaints. If I win, Y/N has to do both of our mission reports for a month.” 

You narrowed your eyes, knowing Steve was well aware of your tendency to procrastinate on or even forgo doing the mission reports entirely. “And when I win, you’ll allow us to get a team cat! And I get to name them.” You were met with groans from your teammates. 

“But you always pick the stupidest names,” Sam said, crossing his arms and glaring at you. “Remember your plants? Who names a succulent ‘Eggboi’?”

Before you could respond to Sam’s slander of your naming abilities, Steve cut in. “Deal.”

_________

It was 11:59 am and the Avengers were gathered in a circle, surrounding you and Steve as you shook hands. 

“I think I’ll name them ‘Le Ole Razzle Dazzle’. It has a certain ring to it, wouldn’t you agree?” You smirked. “Or Razzmatazz for short.” 

Steve frowned. “First of all, that’s a terrible name. Secondly, you’re severely underestimating my self-control -”

“This bullshit’s coming from someone who jumped out of a plane WITHOUT a parachute,” Bucky interrupted. “Self-control, my ass.”

While Natasha was kind enough to cover up her laughter with a cough, no one else gave Steve the same courtesy. With tears in his eyes from the laughter, Sam announced, “The bet starts in three. Two. One.” 

When it became clear that nothing interesting was going to be happening for the time being, everyone left to do their own thing, leaving you and Steve alone. You smiled at Steve as innocently as you could, fluttering your eyelashes to seem less suspicious. He just looked at you weirdly.

“You’re planning something.” It wasn’t even a question. You should have known Steve was too smart to fall for your puppy eyes. The fact you tried using the puppy eyes trick was quite ironic as you were planning on winning a kitten. 

“Mayhaps, my good friend. But you can’t stop me.” You laughed as you ran out of the room, leaving Steve shaking his head at your antics.

Time for Phase Two. 

_________

You held your breath - afraid that one wrong move would alert the enemy to your position. Slowly placing your hand on the metal grate in front of you, you peered through the bars of the vent to make sure the target was still in sight. Although crawling through the vents was a bit more Hawkeye’s style than yours, you needed to be as stealthy as possible.

Your mission was simple - subdue the target by any means necessary. 

Lifting the grate slowly, you managed to lift it enough to pass through. There was a small clang as you moved, and you held your breath to make sure no one was looking or had noticed you before sliding feet first out of the hole. You were free-falling for only a couple of seconds, with your legs together, making sure to point your feet. Your arms were above you, hair floating above you. You couldn’t help but revel in the glimpse of weightlessness which made it seem like you could fly.

You landed, exactly as you intended, on your target’s shoulders, twisting until both yourself and Captain America were on the floor, with you on top. You hoped that wasn’t the last time you were on top of Steve.

“Jesus Christ! What the fu-” Steve stopped and took a deep breath, craning his neck to look at your smug face. “Fudge.” You pouted. “That was dirty, Y/N. I didn’t expect this from you.” You couldn’t believe he was using the patriotic Captain America gaze of disappointment on you.

Grumbling, you picked yourself off the floor and dusted yourself off. You extended your hand out to Steve who, after narrowing his eyes at you, took it. He was honestly right to doubt your intentions. As soon as Steve turned around, you took the liberty to smack his ass. Hard. 

Steve whirled around with a wounded look on his face. “Y/N!” he shouted, hand reaching back to rub his butt. Seeing the innocent smile on your face, he huffed and walked out, completely ignoring the sniggers from the rest of the people in the room.

“Love you too, Cap!” you called out after him. He just flipped you off.

_________

Steve was fed up with the bet. You had been provoking him all day, popping up at the most random times to cause chaos and get him to break. He bet you could give Loki a run for his money for his title as ‘God of Mischief’. 

Sometime while he was training, you had snuck into his apartment and had rigged his bathroom door to dump a bag of flour on his head, so he literally could not take a shit in peace. Fuming, he punched a clean hole through his wall, which Tony was certainly not happy about, and tried to lay down on his bed before realizing that someone had replaced his bed with one that was too short so his legs hung off the sides. Steve had to take a minute to stop himself from giving you a piece of his mind.

That wasn’t all. Even Fury was in on the bet. On Y/N’s side. He had been called into Fury’s office under the guise of getting a new mission but was instead locked in the room with the song “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley blaring on the speakers for an hour. He ended up punching the window and jumping out of the building to escape the torture. It definitely was not one of his finer moments. Y/N was going to pay for what she did.

_________

There was only an hour left of the bet. Steve had survived a feather ambush, a cactus crowd, and a salt shaker stuck to his leg. (It was still stuck. He couldn’t get it off.) All things considered, Steve was feeling pretty smug, certain that he would win. But when he took one look at Y/N’s face, he immediately thought again. 

Trying to escape, he speed-walked into the lounge, trying to escape from Y/N, but not wanting to be rude. Instead of an empty room, every single Avenger was there. Raising one eyebrow, Steve walked past Bucky, who smirked at Steve, and tried to open the door. When it didn’t open, Steve looked back at all of the smiling Avengers. 

“Why am I being locked out?” All Steve wanted to do was wait out the rest of the bet in his room, but sadly, the Avengers were a bunch of nosy bitches who liked to bet on his life.

“Well, I didn’t want you to miss out on the main event,” you drawled, tilting your head slightly with an innocent look on your face as Steve slowly turned around and pouted.

“Just get on with it.”

You beamed, pulling out a tablet. “It will be my pleasure.”

The lights dimmed dramatically, leaving the room in darkness except for the spotlight, which shone directly at the corner of the room, where Bucky just happened to be leaning against the wall. Picking at his nails with a knife, Bucky was unbothered by the stares and the cameras pointed at him, taking his time to start talking.

“This is what I call the incident of a thousand seconds.”

Bucky didn’t even get two sentences in. “Absolutely not.” Steve wanted to curse up a storm. “No way.”

Natasha cut in. “Well, now I’m intrigued. Spill.” 

“I’m just saying. You know exactly how to end this, pal.” Steve just glared. There was no escape. If Bucky put his mind to something, there was no stopping him.

“As you know, Steve respected one Peggy Carter.” Steve groaned loudly, shoving his face into his hands. “One day, Peggy wanted to ask Steve about some battle strategies, but it wasn’t the right time.”

“Do you really have to make puns about my misery?” 

As if Steve hadn’t spoken, Bucky carried on. “Steve had just gotten back from a successful mission and was celebrating with the rest of the Howling Commandos. Peggy came by and asked Steve if he ‘had a sec’. And poor, poor, Steve. Without even thinking, he responded ‘Yes, I have a lot of--’”

“Oh fuck off, Buck.” The room spun around to face Steve, whose face paled. “No.” His eyes widened. “I didn’t say that out loud.” But, looking at Y/N’s grin, he knew he had messed up. “Fucknugget.”

_________

Steve wasn’t one to go back on his word. The next day, he signed the paperwork for Y/N to adopt a pet. He hoped that with Natasha going with you to the animal shelter, she would stop you before going too far, but he very much doubted it. The newest addition to the team was set to arrive any minute, and he could tell that Sam and Bucky were the most excited.

“And a drumroll please,” you shouted, always having a flair for the dramatics. Steve didn’t move an inch. Unbothered, you held up a gray kitten like it was Simba from the Lion King. 

“Introducing… Princess Avocado Elizabegg Eggbert.” 

Steve let out a wail of anguish. “Please. I’m begging you. Please change her name.” 

“No.” Cuddling Princess Eggy closer, you made indecipherable high-pitched sounds at your new baby“Please?”

“You’re such a sore loser.”   

__________

@tessabennet​ Thank you for reading this and encouraging me to finish!! :)

If you want to be added to my taglist, just shoot me a comment or an ask!

Reblogs, comments, and likes are all greatly appreciated.

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 2: 2x21 Patterns of Force

Took a nap after work today!! Perhaps a bad idea.

Anyway, some thoughts on the... awkward Patterns of Force.

Another story about Jim looking for his hero, I see. That never (always) ends badly.

Definitely getting an image of little Spock (teenage Spock? young adult Spock? all little Spocks) reading about Earth history.

Oh no, an armed drone. That does not bode well. Why do Kirk’s heroes always betray him?

A subcutaneous transponder. That seems like a useful device to introduce into the narrative. (Slash remember for future purposes...)

Also it reminds of me “He’s a...a... a transponster!”

Spock in a hat. I guess the Ekosians and/or Zeons don’t have pointed ears, then.

“It’s our old enemy...fascism.”

Well this guy literally was not subtle in his references to Nazi Germany. (I’m referring in universe to what’s-his-face but this also applies to the episode writer.)

“The evidence is clear... someone did interfere.”

“You look quite well for a man who’s been utterly destroyed, Mr. Spock.” This man canNOT stop flirting for one second.

Lol, using Spock to distract the Nazi.

“It’s logical to pretend to be a Nazi? Okay, I’m convinced. You said the magic word.”

“Look! I captured him!” So proud.

Kirk’s face when Spock says he would make a convincing Nazi. Bb, you’re not doing the compliment thing right. (I’ll actually be quite honest... I find the humor in that moment but it also makes me uncomfortable given both these actors are Jewish.)

That said, Kirk is canonically better at blending into undercover scenarios than Spock is. He thinks better on his feet, creatively.

How do these people NOT recognize two whole-ass aliens.

...Maybe they do.

I do like when Kirk is being interrogated and still tries to be charming..

That Nazi really lost a lot of authority after being dressed down by his superior in front of the captives.

I like this Zeon. 

“The flaw in the plan is this locked door.” Thanks Spock. It’s this subtle humor that I think people often miss in him. Like where you can’t tell if it’s intentional or not.

Kirk is so smart!!! He never gets credit for being this smart.

Hmm, taking out the transponders is such a weirdly intimate scene.

The Zeon wants to be included in this adventure so much but they’re obsessed with each other, like “What Zeon?”

“I’ll be your platform, Mr. Spock.”

This is such a weirdly humorous interlude for a story about Nazis. Kind of reminds me in a way of that conversation with the police man on City on the Edge of Forever. I mean that ep was much better but just like the sudden switch in tone.

Spock’s like “Oh, that was cool. Made a laser.”

I heard Kirk say, “You, over there,” as in directing Spock to stand over there, but the subtitles say “Beautiful. Over there.” As in, “we did a beautiful job getting out, now Spock, stand over there.” But combine them...?

Not gonna get a disguise for Spock huh? Just gonna let him be shirtless a little more for no apparent reason.

Poor Zeon. These aliens are inscrutable and not letting him in on anything.

“Alien pistols.”

“Who would win? the entire military force of this planet or two phaser-less space husbands?"

I probably shouldn’t laugh every time Kirk impersonates a Nazi but I do. "Don't mind me... completely believable Nazi here..."

The unsubtle of the Hebrew names. And of course.. .Zeon.

“We’ll be just as bad as the Nazis.” No, actually, you’re not and never will be that’s not how it works. BUT you definitely should help the aliens. Like, that phrase grates because it’s usually used to refer to, like, use of violence, use of “censorship” but here’s it more about turning away people who are different or minority and so then it does make sense but....the connotations.

Spock’s like, “May I... get away from this emotion? Has enough time passed for me to ask that?”

More Nazis! Following them everywhere!

Oh, psych. Not Nazis after all.

Spock’s like “Betraying your own father, you say? I have never thought about that.”

“The Fuhrer... is an alien?” Actual real line AND a correct summation of the situation.

This ep does not paint the Federation in a great light. Although to be fair... John Gill was breaking the rules so.

Documentary corps... I love it. Great disguise. Flash lights in people’s eyes, have an excuse to stay in a group, no on looks at you. Genius.

Spock is honestly so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed about EVERYTHING. He cannot be tamed. Again, really an aspect of him I miss in the reboots.

Kirk really is the captain of everyone in his vicinity.

“Think positively, Spock.”

Uhura is unflappable. “A Nazi Colonel’s uniform? Of course, Captain.”

Send him down naked if you have to!! Yes, please, send him down naked.

Spock giving McCoy detailed instructions on how to put on boots... Why was dialogue like this not in the reboots?

McCoy is so polite. Polite first, confused later. “Nice to meet you, Nazi--wait, Nazi???”

I love how McCoy immediately put on his drunk face and Spock was like, "An opportunity to insult McCoy?? Awesome.”

So I assumed the Chairman was either dumb or didn’t recognize them with their shirts on but apparently he was yet another mole, so. At least it’s not a plot hole.

“The speech has no discernible pattern or logic.” Hmmm, I wonder what it feels like to have a leader who speaks with no discernible pattern or logic?

Guys. Pals. Awful people. Did he really give orders, or did he just say random shit? People will flock to anything. I'll be honest, I actually think this is one of the subtler and better parts of this episode: how chilling it is to contemplate how people will rally around any non-speech that has the right tone and a few key words. This is garbage language. But it incites people to kill.

McCoy and his stimulants again.

Spock and his mind probing again.

Wow Spock really messed with his mind there. “He can answer questions but not otherwise speak?” What kind of crazy shit is that?

They are being so mean to Spock. “Malformed ears.” “Low forehead.” That’s not a low forehead, that’s bangs.

Nice triumivirate scene at the end. Feels good, feels organic. Kirk likes to hear his two BFFs bickering because it feels like all is right with the universe, and I agree. Nature is healing.

This episode has a very weird (and very hard to swallow imo) backstory. Like, who primarily associates the Nazis with efficiency? And even if you do, if you think there’s something to the way they put together the country so fast post-WWI, all of this “efficiency” is directly tied to hatred and violence. Like Isak said, the Ekosians have nothing to hold them together BUT hating Zeons. That's at the center of the design. It's not like Gill’s plan backfired it was just... a horrible plan?? It doesn’t even make sense to me that his “effective regime” was co-opted by one hateful person because what was at the center of the “Nazi” regime before the hatred of Zeons? What could it have been? There are no other alternatives provided. Also, even if it could have been somehow accomplished without the use of a scapegoat.. is fascism really an ideal? Like the story never reckoned with that concept at all, which I find disturbing.

Here’s the thing about Gill. He is a certain real type and I appreciate his inclusion up to a point. He’s the Naive, Hubristic Intellectual. He thinks because he’s studied something, academically, he knows more about it even than people who experienced it, and he can fix all of its problems. “I can do this, but better. I am so smart, I am so well-informed, I have no flaws.” I can even see this sort of person being someone a young Kirk would admire because there’s an optimism and idealism to this naivete. I don’t think Kirk is arrogant but he is very idealistic, and when he was a young man, still in the market for heroes, or at least idols or mentors? Yeah, someone with that kind of attitude toward life--that we can deeply understand and then improve upon history--would have appealed to him. It’s possible that Gill even was the “compassionate, gentle” person that Kirk thought, or that he had that side to him.

Where I think the episode erred is in absolving Gill of most of his guilt for this state of affairs. He does die and he does admit he was wrong, but his biggest sin is allegedly in introducing a regime that could be co-opted for evil rather than one that was inherently bad. He is literally drugged (tortured in a way), to emphasize just how non-culpable the narrative thinks he is. Also, while he does apologize for interfering at all, even this is fairly brief and not expanded upon in the rest of the narrative. The truth is he shouldn’t have interfered in general, because that’s not his place or his right, and he shouldn’t have interfered in this way specifically. Even if Malakon hadn’t risen and taken over, the ideal Gil was imposing was one of unthinking uniformity, lack of autonomy, worship of a leader over the rule law--these are not the values of the Federation, the show Star Trek, or me. But he’s used more as a device to explain why the show is so unsubtly Nazi, rather than a real villain or object lesson. Even though Gill is a much better object lesson than Malakon.

And what about Malakon? The ending presents him, literally and in so many words, as the “one evil man” responsible for all of this. I think we know both from studying history and, unfortunately, from our own times, that this is untrue because impossible. One evil person is just a lunatic ranting on the street corner. One evil leader became leader because others agreed and gave him power, or agreed in part, or made a deal with the devil, or disagreed but said nothing, or spoke but were overwhelmed. It’s a disservice to the subject matter to say that dictatorships or authoritarian regimes are that simple. I get that the episode is only 50 minutes and it needs to wrap up, and it’s simpler to say “Okay, killed the Villain, now we can go back to being Not Evil, all the Ekosians will be as happy as the Zeons because we never really wanted this.” But Hitler and his henchmen weren’t the only Nazis. Regular people--and in this context, regular Ekosians--weren’t Nazis too.

Overall, the episode was okay. Very awkward though. Very blunt. I think it would have been better off not using the Nazi symbology so literally. Like the idea that a human would come into a society and purposefully create something from our history is interesting (and “what if Earth but alien?” is certainly something TOS likes doing and finds various ways to do--like the gangsters in A Piece of the Action or Neo-Rome in Bread and Circuses or even literal Greek Gods in Who Mourns for Adonais?) but not worth it given which society was being emulated. It seemed to be too much an excuse to dig out the old WWII movie costumes (and put Jewish actors in Nazi regalia which... is very... distressing) and not so much an excuse for some kind of commentary along the lines of what I said above re: the hubris of historians, the hubris of time. That aspect leaves a bad taste. It had some good ideas but I think, again, it was hindered rather than helped by how literal it insisted (for some reason) on being. Compare it to A Private Little War, which was just about as obvious a Vietnam allegory as you can get, and yet still didn’t literally transport anyone to Vietnam, and this ep looks all the more clunky. I’m probably judging it more harshly than I have on previous viewings, but I really feel like... you can use sci fi to make a commentary on the rise of authoritarianism, but the delicacy of the subject matter requires you to be particularly thoughtful in the way you do it and the actual statements you’re making.

Anyway, the Enterprise Defeats Nazis is a good episode summary at least.

I think in my last attempt at a whole rewatch I stopped at around this point. I seem to have watched the next two episodes, according to Amazon, but I have a weird feeling I only watched one, the next one, By Any Other Name, and then stopped. I don’t remember either of them so we’ll see how that goes! Will they seem familiar or not?

[inheritorofmemories-archive]

Twitter is not a good place and I have opinions.

Okay so, just visited Twitter to see how they like The Old Guard and please remind to never go there for anything more than artist’s posts and memes.

(This is more of a rant than a cohesive explanation of my thoughts but I won’t lose my time on Twitter for that and I still need to talk about it, so we’re here. Okay, here goes-)

Of course spoiler warning for the whole movie.

"it's bad, it's not creative, it's boring, there's no story apart from bad guys pharma and good guys mercenaries."

Did we watch the same movie?? It's like those Mad Max Fury Road reviews who kept saying "they leave and come back, no plot har har I’m very funny" when the whole point of the movie is about staying where you live and make this place better, not abandoning it because you risk abandoning your true self with the land (amongst other things the movies tries to say).

Yeah maybe the story is a bit seen, pharma and all. But the whole plot revolve around the Old Guards and their emotions. It's about a tired warrior finding hope, and a young immortal finding her place, and how to deal with loss and grief and solitude, it's about finding purpose in helping other because that's what human do, help each other. It's a lot more than fight scenes and bad pharma (which, maybe it's an old trope but it's still very true to this day, please keep portraying pharma CEO as comically bad because they are!)

It's like men can't understand a story unless there's lots of death and unnecessary trauma. Can't you enjoy a story about found family and hope and kindness for one another like everyone else?

Here are the critics I saw, and why I think it’s bullshit, point by point because I’m petty like that:

The characters are flat and two dimensional: I mean, no? Sure, Joe and Nicky are not the center of attention, and we see Booker tired and a traitor, and the human ones are bit glossed over (though we see enough to understand them, Copley and his wife, the scientist that thinks she’s helping humanity, etc.), but Andy and Nile are fully developed? What else do you need?

Andy is a very old, very tired immortal that has a very complicated past (that we see a lot of) and her motivations, state of mind and thoughts are well explained (they all say she’s old, and tired, we know about Quynh; hell, Andy’s first line is about that) and we know she lost purpose, and she finds it within the film! She changes! Her character evolves in interactions to other but mostly Nile. Speaking of her- i know I’m repeating myself but what else do you need to consider a character not flat? She loves her family but doesn’t run to them because she’s not an idiot. She’s a fighter, a marine, a very competent one at that, but she still gets scared by being an immortal, she asks questions, she’s compassionate, she feels! All while being a bad ass fighter. She has agency, makes her own choices and choose her way, she has motivation and she know what she brings to the team and is not afraid of saying her thoughts and needs.

And even Booker and Nicky and Joe have full character, even if shown less. We have Booker’s back story, and we know he cares a lot despite all his hurt (he says he did it to help Andy die, which was still wrong and selfish, but he was genuinely trying to do something because he hurt so much). Nicky and Joe have a softer side, and sure it’s mostly conveyed through their own love story but they hug the other Guards and Nicky brings food for Andy and Joe jokes around (still thinking about that “faster than the elevator” line). Yeah it’s not a deep character study but it’s more than about half action movies today, and it’s enough in the story to make me care about all of them, even Copley. Although a lot of that may come form the actors too.

The fights scenes are bad: apparently they’re boring and do not do justice to the comics. I can’t speak for the last one, but boring? Again, did we watch the same movie? Yeah, there’s no big explosions and fire everywhere and collapsing buildings, but they’re not boring. I’m sorry my tastes are superior but I’d rather be shown the talents of a covert team of immortal warriors though discretion and efficiency. Why would they need explosions when they can juggle swords, axes, rifles and guns so smoothly you don’t even see a shift in their stance? See first fight in South Sudan. Why would I need collapsing buildings when I can have a team of fighters swapping weapons together like nothing? That scene at Merricks’s building where they all reload and change guns and the camera turns around and panel over all of them? That was dope and a very creative way to show how smooth they work together (with Nile added! So way to go to show the new group dynamics.) through a smooth and continuous camera movement. I could go on, but where did you see the boring fight scene. Yes there’s no cool lights and tricks a la John Wick, but if it did they would have complained it was a rip off, so...

The cinematography is bad: Just because it’s more understated doesn’t mean it’s bad. Yes, there’s no neon lights or cool shots like other might have (looking at you John Wick, since everyone seems to compare the two movie) but it serves the story. It’s because it’s so simple visually that you can get into the feelings and story. You don’t look at the light, you look at the actions and the faces. And honestly, I think it suits the Guards better. They look timeless, they fit in everywhere. A photography that’s striped down to the necessary only serves the story. I don’t see them in safe houses with a bunch of lights and modern furniture, just like I don’t see expensive shots and over the top choreography for them. As I said, they’re a covert team, they’re smooth and efficient, I like that the photography align on that and show them in simple shots.

tl;dr: Just because it’s simple doesn't mean it’s bad, sometimes that's what you need to work with the story and its characters and themes.

Not enough story and too much nothing to fill in: I mean, they die 12 minutes in, you get all the stakes, antagonist and themes in like 20 minutes, what else do you need? There’s break in the actions to expose plot and concept, but it never feels wrong or too much of a info dump, it’s fluid and natural because we’re following Nile into the immortal world.

Bad Pharma is Bad: Yeah, let’s talk about that. (Cautions, purely opinions, no real arguments to change someone’s mind here) I don’t care if it’s cliché, not when pharma in the US keep rising the price of Insulin every month, not when pharma all over the world send their faulty medicine to third world country because there’s no one that cares enough there, not when you know they purposefully don’t finance HIV researches because triple therapy gets them a lot of money, not when you hear about the experimentation and how they get their resources and literally everything that I’m not getting into right now. Who cares if they’re show as bad people once again, they are! You think CEO care about anything but money? If it feels wrong in the movie it’s because it is wrong.

Tell me no one in our world would kidnap and torture immortals to find their power. And don’t talk to me about bad representation of CEO and exceptions, I don’t care. One exception doesn’t make all the other suddenly better or worth the wrong they’re doing. So yeah, give me more cliché good guys fight bad CEO, I love it.

They did not use their concept enough: Again, where? To me, they did all they could with that concept, you get all the things you can only get with the concept, interesting and fun one. They are still afraid of dying one day, and even if they’re not (i.e. Andy or Booker) their brand of immortality doesn’t mean they’re not afraid of being captured: the Quynh scene happens literally just before Nicky and Joe are kidnapped exposing us the stake of being immortal, talk about good script work, right? Talking about fun trope: you have the millennium old couple that use to kill each other but now love each other, the classic ennemies to lovers we all love, you have the strategy of using your immortality to your advantage and destabilize your opponent: Nile walking into Merrick’s building and getting herself killed on purpose only to stand again and use the guard’s shock and lack of preparation against them, you have the fun references to real historical figures that comes with immortality: Rodin, Napoleon, etc...

I’ll link to this video I found that talks about this better than me, but basically, they did use their concept, a lot, and well.

The music: I can’t really say anything about that one. Maybe you don’t like the style they used, and that’s fair. To each their own. But it wasn’t too much like other Netflix’s movie (Looking at you 6 Underground. Four (4) song of the same artist in one movie?) but again, it’s Netflix, they use modern songs in their soudtracks, you should expect it. I didn’t bother with the lyrics accuracy to the actions, but each time the music fit well in tune and mood of the scene. And the actual score made for the movie was really good, not too much but still supported the actions and dialogues on screen like it should.

And my favorite yet, we’ve already seen it. I don’t have any smart answer to that apart from I’m sorry you’re a cishet, but found family is the superior trope and I hope you can one day see it too. Who cares if we’ve already seen it, it’s a different flavor! It’s no X-Men flavor, it’s Old Guard flavor and I love it. Have you heard of the Hero’s Journey? How Lord of the Ring, Star Wars and Harry Potter all have the basic same plot? And yet you can like all three of them for different reasons? Because they’re not the same flavors? Well, apply that to the immortal group of fighters and enjoy it.

Okay, that’s most of my thoughts on the film for now, but to make it short: it’s good and those people can’t appreciate good things that are more feelings and humanity than fist fights and nihilism. How dare a movie say we’re good and need each other and not end in a pathetic discovery that all the word deserves to burn.

[halothenthehorns]

THE ROGUE BLUDGER

THE ROGUE BLUDGER

Clh left me a comment about how they felt about how I portrayed House Elf's, and Sirius' attitude on the matter during the second book. First things first, I've never read JK's opinion on the matter, so if someone would point me to a sight where I could read that I will enjoy it as much as any other HP related thing. Mostly though, I don't see how Sirius' reaction is too far from how Ron acts. I don't mean for Sirius to come across hating the whole species, and his reasons for hating Dobby were pretty justified. You guys have yet to see him around any other elf. Plus the bit where he said his parents hurt Kreacher I don't find too out there, it's not unreasonable to think Sirius has seen them do that to Kreacher for one reason or another. I'll go more into details on this during the fourth book, just felt like addressing that now.

HPHPHP

Remus was happy to read the next chapter, wanting dearly to see if Hermione could pull off such an advanced potion, and ignoring Sirius and James protest as they complained they still didn't get to have their 'Smarts Debate.' Honestly, Hermione would win that easily anyways.

The narration begins by talking about Lockhart's classes, explaining that he hadn't done anything with live animals since the disastrous pixie incident.

"Thank Merlin," Remus huffed, "or something far worse could happen."

Apparently all he had been doing was reading from his books,

"So basically torture sessions, of unrealistic proportions," James summarized.

and acting out the most action packed parts for the class. He always called on Harry to work as his second for these,

"Why?" All five of them groaned.

and Harry had no choice but to do as told. So far he'd played several embarrassing parts,

"Dumb, dumber, and dumbest," Sirius huffed, the more he heard about this guy the more annoying it got!

and today he was being instructed on how to act as a werewolf.

"Did you at least do the thing properly," James asked, while grinning over at Remus who refused to look up, "you know, spout random facts, be a horrible liar-"

"Have a really bad habit for turning red in the face," Sirius added on.

"Knock it off," Remus snapped, still without looking up. Harry and Lily could see why, since the little of his face they could see had long since turned bright red at his friends teasing. Remus knew he would never understand why his friends joked about something like this, it was a serious problem that shouldn't be taken lightly, but he had never stopped them with any real force either. Their joking simply meant they liked him enough to mess with him, something he had never thought possible in his younger years.

Still chuckling at their antics, Harry corrected them, "No, I had 'turned' into an actual werewolf at the time, fur and fangs and stuff."

Remus gave Harry a puzzled look and then read on a bit curiously.

Harry would have refused to do it, if he hadn't had a reason for keeping on Lockhart's good side.

"Did you try refusing to do it the other three times?" Lily asked.

"Yes," Harry muttered, it hadn't worked any of those times though because then Lockhart had launched into a detailed account, reading word for word. Harry had decided to do it simply to make the man shut up. At least playing those dumb roles had made the process go by quicker.

The teacher was currently instructing Harry to give a good long howl, while Lockhart went on about how despite whether the students believe it or not, he'd slammed the werewolf to the floor,

"Actually, I don't believe that," James said, quirking a brow. Had this man ever even seen a fully grown werewolf? They weren't the kind of thing you could 'slam' into the ground without getting your head bit off.

and had used only one hand to hold him down,

"Definitely don't believe that," Sirius cackled.

while pulling out his wand with the other and performing the Homorphus Charm.

"What good would that do?" James asked, "That's a charm used to restore Transfigured objects back to their original form. It's most common use is on Animagus' when they get stuck for some

reason. It wouldn't work on a werewolf though."

"Why do you know that?" Lily asked, noting his 'most common use' mostly.

"We had to learn it," Sirius shrugged, "for all the times we screwed up our Animagus practice. Came in handy a few times afterwards as well."

Then he told Harry to start moaning, as if in pain, and how the werewolf had shrunk back down to its human form.

"And people believed that," Lily scoffed in disgust. "If it was that easy, werewolves wouldn't even be classified as dangerous. They'd be a class three!"

Harry looked puzzled, not understanding the classification thing, but then Remus said bitterly, "I wish it was that easy," and then kept reading before anyone could comment.

Ending his tale with how he'd saved the village from monthly attacks!

"Really, I want to know how his books are sold without being found in the fictional section," James demanded. "People can't really believe he did that!"

Harry shrugged, he had no answer for that, but he certainly didn't believe it.

The class was dismissed and Lockhart took to his feet,

"Wait, he actually slammed you to the ground!" Remus asked, not having interpreted that from his prattling.

Harry nodded, saying, "more like he pushed me, then he waved his wand in my face a lot, but he didn't let the 'crowd' lose full sight of him, he stayed on his knees in front of the desk. I fell back behind the desk, happily out of the way. Only time I can remember not being afraid of someone's wand in my face." He finished grinning wickedly.

and told them their homework was to write a poem of his defeat of the Werewolf. He'd give a signed copy of his autobiography to the best one.

All five of them looked disgusted that this was even counted as a homework assignment, let alone the horrid prize.

Harry wasn't pleased, but he stuck around after class along with his friends, Hermione clutching a piece of paper.

"Oh," James said, "so when Ron said the teacher would have to be really thick, he meant literally."

"Here I thought they were going to try and pull one over on McGonagall," Sirius sounded as surprised as his friend, "now all they have to do is just walk up to him, give him a cheap

compliment, and they'll be done with it."

"I'm kind of disappointed," Remus sighed, "I wanted to see them pull something on McGonagall to."

"That was the most useful thing Lockhart did all year," Harry laughed.

Hermione was blushing and stuttering the whole time she asked him to sign for the book, stating she wanted it for some extra research.

Lily sighed in both disappointment and disgust, saying, "really? She's still star struck?"

"This is the girl that's about to do a sixth year potion?" James asked in disbelief.

Harry shrugged, he had no defense for his friend since he and Ron had seen him as a fraud on the first day.

Lockhart just praised her for having read his book, asking if she'd liked that one the best? Hermione agreed, saying he was very creative indeed when he'd used a tea strainer to catch a ghoul.

"What on earth?" Remus spluttered in disbelief.

"Doesn't Ron have a ghoul in his attic?" James asked, "I think I'd like to borrow that."

"It might not be there yet," Lily reminded them, not necessarily knocking the idea.

"I'd really like to hear that full story," Sirius said eagerly, "if the wizard populace fell for that, maybe I could use it next time I go to the Leaky Cauldron."

Remus snorted in disgust, not doubting his friend would do this one bit.

Lockhart pulled out a huge peacock quill to sign for the note, and misread Ron's look of disgust as one of admiration.

"If it's anything like your look," James said to Harry, "then he's even dafter than I thought, and that's saying something."

Harry broke out of his shock at the remembered peacock quill and chuckled at his dad.

He signed away on the book, then turned to Harry and offered him private lessons as he remembered the first game was to be tomorrow.

"Oh come on!" James and Sirius groaned, not believing for one second that match would get pushed off for two or even three more chapters!

"My Quidditch match was awful," James groaned, "I want another go at reading."

"I haven't gotten one at all," Sirius muttered, sulking.

"How do you keep getting the good chapters!" James demanded.

"Just lucky I guess," he grinned.

Then he boasted that he'd been a Seeker for his house team as well,

"Was he really?" Harry asked in disbelief, not believing much of anything from him anymore.

"If he was," Sirius shrugged, "it wasn't while we were there."

"He'd be ah, a fifth year I think," James said, "so if we just so happened to pop by, we could find out."

saying how he could have played professionally,

"Still doubt that," James scoffed.

but would rather he spend his life fighting against the Dark.

"By entertaining them on their long dreary travels with my absurd stories," Remus kept going as if reading that.

Sirius choked and snatched the book away, then smacked his friend with it saying, "Jerk, don't give me false hope that man grew a brain."

Remus took it back, grinning like a fool before really reading.

He told Harry that he'd be glad to give Harry some pointers, he was always happy to help out less able players.

"Less able my arse!" James howled, "Harry could go and play for England now if he damn well pleased."

"Really James," Lily huffed, "I'm not disagreeing with you, Harry is good, but don't encourage him to drop out of school."

James scowl didn't lessen one bit.

Harry gave some non-articulate answer back as he followed after his friends, Ron was griping that the man hadn't even glanced at the book he was signing for.

"Prat," all five of them muttered.

Concluding that he was brainless. Hermione tried to argue back, saying he was anything but!

"First time Hermione's ever been wrong I think," Lily said sadly.

Harry phased them out as they went down to the library and came across the librarian, Madam Pince, who reminded Harry of an unfriendly vulture.

"I am forever turning to you whenever I want to describe someone," Sirius cackled.

She was clearly suspicious of why they would want this book as she tried to take the note away from Hermione, but she clung to it and mentioned how she'd like to keep the paper.

Lily face palmed, muttering something in disgust under her breath.

The boys simply looked more annoyed by Hermione.

Ron convinced her to give it up, reminding her they could get another signature just as easily, as Lockhart would probably sign anything that stood still too long.

"I believe that," James nodded.

Pince eyed the paper with suspicion, clearly looking for a forgery,

"She can," Remus sighed, "I knew a Ravenclaw who mirror imaged Flitwick's signature once, and when Pince did that, she saw it somehow. Kid had detention for a week straight."

"I wonder if that's some kind of magical ability, or..." Lily trailed off, now looking like she wanted to go up there and ask herself.

"Well, we're planning a trip up to the school, you can ask her then," James said.

but the note worked as she came back several minutes later

"Wow, even she doesn't know where every bloody book is in there. Either that, or she had to go all the way in the back," James laughed.

with their requested book. Hermione took it and stowed it away, and the three exited trying to look as unsuspicious as possible.

"You gotten any better at that?" Remus asked, "because the last time you tried that, Snape took away a book."

Harry shrugged and said, "well, no one took that book away, we made it all the way to Myrtle's bathroom anyways."

The trio headed down to Myrtle's bathroom and began scanning through the book, coming across some truly terrible things.

"Why do potions like that exist?" Harry asked in disgust.

"The one about being turned inside out doesn't have a practical use," Lily shrugged, "it's a threat potion more than anything, sometimes given as punishment for a short period of time."

"The ministry is barmy," Sirius muttered, but Lily was ignoring him, and continuing, "the other about the extra limbs sounds like a transformation potion, though since you didn't say the name of it I can only guess at what she could have been turning into."

Harry nodded, slightly agreeing with Sirius.

Hermione found the potion she was looking for, and went looking through the ingredients she would need. There were illustrations of the effects the potion would have,

"Pleasant," Remus shuddered, knowing very well how painful transforming could be.

and Harry really hoped the looks of pain on those people were being exaggerated.

"Nope," Lily said, "it is not a pleasant process at all."

Harry didn't look very pleased about this.

Hermione mentioned how this was the most complex potion she'd ever seen.

"Well duh," James laughed, "it's a sixth year potion!"

Listing off several of the ingredients that were going to be very hard to come by.

"I hadn't thought of that," Lily agreed, having mostly thought of the act, "where did she plan on getting the ingredients."

"I don't think you're going to like the answer," Harry said nervously, he only had a feeling after all, but it wasn't a good one.

One part mentioning some of the person they were going to change into. Ron seemed particularly grossed out by this, claiming he didn't want to put anything of Crabbe's in him, but Hermione ignored the outburst.

"Err, what did she mean?" Harry asked.

"It doesn't have to be toenails," Lily said quickly, as Harry looked a little queasy at the thought, "hair is most commonly used, but any bit of them like that will do."

Harry still looked a little green, but nodded all the same.

Then Ron pointed out that they weren't getting this stuff from the student's cupboards, they'd have to steal it from Snape himself.

All four adults spluttered in disbelief, though the boys for a completely different reason then Lily.

"That's brilliant!" Sirius cackled, James and Remus nodding right along. It was high time that slimeball knew what it felt like to get his stuff taken. Hell they wouldn't be surprised if Snape hadn't stolen from Slughorn to make some of his potions in school.

Lily on the other hand practically screeched, "You're going to steal from a teacher!"

"Mum-" Harry began, but Lily cut him off saying, "No. Last year you bent the rules around a few times, and nearly got killed. Now, you are breaking them in half, and for what? Because you think that Malfoy did it? Even if he was, and he blabs it to your face, what would you do? Go to Dumbledore without proof? Harry no, this is one thing I will not approve of. That's even assuming a second year can make the Polyjuice Potion correctly, without the lot of you being poisoned or, or worse or..." she stuttered off as she realized Harry was looking beseechingly at her, and the other boys were giving her pitting looks.

Lily sighed deeply, took several deep breaths then continued in far calmer tones, "I'm sorry."

Harry smiled at once, clearly holding no grudge. Lily continued, "It's just, I hate that you feel you have to do all of these things. I wish you had someone there who would tell you these things. I wish..." she trailed off, then put another stern look on her face and finished, "but I did mean it. I disapprove. I do acknowledge though that these are things that have already happened, so I promise I won't yell again." Then she paused, hesitated for a moment, and added, "about this particular thing."

Causing all of her boys to burst out laughing, James saying, "I love your fiery temper." She smiled weakly at them, before waving Remus on. He had to get his breath back a bit, but did indeed still read.

Hermione lost her temper at him, snapping that if they were going to act like babies about this,

"Ooh," Sirius said, going a little wide eyed, "Hermione daring the other's into doing this."

"It was her idea in the first place," Remus reminded him.

"What's gotten into her this year?" James asked, bemused.

"She's a muggle-born," Lily said in exasperation, "of course she'd be the most worried about this."

All four boys turned to her in shock, then blushed slightly. They hadn't forgotten exactly, but Hermione was just so smart it was a little easy to forget.

that she could go put this right back! Ron quickly said that he had no problems with the plan, and Hermione returned to the book. Harry asked how long it would take for the potion to happen,

"Not going to answer that Lily," James asked.

"No," Lily said, "I want to see if Hermione knows first. It'll make me feel better."

Hermione estimated about a month.

Lily nodded, looking a might bit better. Had Hermione tried to rush the potion by any shorter amount of time, she would have been even more worried.

Ron was not pleased with that, stating dozens of people could be hurt by then, but when Hermione glared at him all over again, Ron agreed it was the best they could do.

"Ron's gotten much better at that," Sirius chuckled.

Then Ron turned to Harry and told him it would be far easier on everyone if Harry just knocked Malfoy off his broom tomorrow. The next day came up bright and early, the whole of the Gryffindor team at breakfast not looking very happy.

"It's normal to be nervous before any game," James said bracingly, he still had no doubt in his mind Harry and his team would do brilliantly.

Wood convinced them all to go into the locker room for a pep talk before the game, starting by pointing out that Slytherin had better brooms,

"Chipper as always," Remus laughed lightly.

but his team had better people on their brooms!

"Excellent sentiment though," Sirius beamed.

Pointing out that they had trained harder, in all the weathers, with George muttering in agreement that he hadn't been dry for months.

All five of them laughed at that.

Then Wood turned on Harry, telling him the match would come down to him,

"Ouch," Remus winced, "does he pressure you before every match?"

"Seems like," Harry shrugged, "but I don't mind."

to prove that it took more than a rich father to make it in this game.

'Which he should have anyways' James thought, knowing that wasn't anything of use, but he still wanted to be there for Harry in some way more than a vault.

Finishing with Harry had to get the Snitch, or die trying.

Lily sighed in trepidation, that didn't make her feel any better. She also dearly wanted to comment that this boy took a game far too serious, but didn't want to elicit a joke from Sirius, or even get snapped at for saying this.

She had no idea the boys might have agreed with her in that moment.

Spirits raised, the team went onto the field, and at a blow of the whistle, the fourteen players began.

The three boys looked very excited to hear this. They felt like it had been ages since they got to hear about a good game, which didn't involve worrying about Harry dying in the middle of the

match.

Lily still looked wary, Harry's track record in this game hadn't been that good, but she was willing to relax and hear about this.

Harry was the only one looking on edge. They put this down to the pressure he must be feeling, not knowing why Harry would be rubbing his right arm for some reason.

The Chasers began in earnest while Harry began flying around looking for his ball, when a voice called out calling Harry Scarhead.

"Scarhead," Sirius snorted, "I didn't think his insults could actually get worse."

Malfoy chose that moment to shoot past Harry, clearly showing off the speed of his superior model.

"Most likely," Remus grumbled.

Harry chose not to respond as a Bludger came pelting towards his head, and he had to either duck or get his head knocked off.

Lily shivered in disgust, hating that mental image.

George managed a quick praise to Harry for pulling that off while smashing the Bludger away and sending it towards the opposing team, but the black ball swerved in midair, and came pelting straight back towards Harry.

Remus voice grew very confused at the end of that.

"What?" Sirius asked, sure he had heard wrong.

"Err," James began, but he couldn't think of anything to say really.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Harry sighed, rubbing his right arm.

Lily went a little bug eyed, but Remus now read on quickly, knowing by now Harry's bad feelings were usually not wrong.

Harry moved to avoid it, and this time George swung out with his full strength, knocking the ball off course. The Bludger was back again at once.

"One game!" James cried in fury. "I want one bloody Quidditch game that doesn't make me hate the whole bloody sport!"

"Why. Are. You. Being. Chased. By. A. Bludger." Sirius said slowly and distinctly, like he was trying to stop himself from yelling like James.

"I, I've no idea," Harry said miserably, very much wondering the same thing.

Lily put her face in her hands, wanting dearly to cover her ears as well so she didn't have to hear this.

Remus said, "Okay, I officially hate getting Quidditch chapters. Next time Sirius, I'm just going to give it to you anyways."

Sirius didn't look any kind of happy as his friend began in a wobbling voice, the horrid mental image of Sirius being bludgeoned the most prominent thing in his mind.

This time Harry chose to fly away in earnest, wondering why on earth the Bludger was still tailing him. The point of that ball was to go after all of the players, why was it so focused on him? Harry made a path and spotted Fred, and was able to swerve around him as Fred took his turn and pelted the ball with his bat.

"Thank Merlin for the twins," Sirius sighed, "they seemed to have noticed the problem already."

"Had enough practice," James muttered darkly.

Fred's triumph was short lived, as the Bludger continued going after Harry who chose to fly off again.

"Who could tamper with a thing like that?" Lily moaned, her face still in her hands. "I know those are very powerfully charmed. It would take some real magic to pull this stunt off!"

"Thinking it was Lockhart?" Remus asked weakly, "Are we still wondering if he's faking it? I kind of gave up on that after the 'werewolf' incident."

"No, he's still an idiot in my book until proven otherwise," Sirius sighed miserably, "and there's no way Malfoy, or any student for that matter, could be powerful enough to do this."

Stumped and with no leads who could do this, Remus forced himself to continue.

The weather wasn't helping, as thick raindrops started pelting Harry's glasses.

"You didn't put a Repelling charm on them?" James asked distractedly. "That's like the only charm any player's allowed to use, exclusive to the face only of course. Otherwise the rain will blind you."

"No," Harry said, no one had shown him how to do that, perhaps Wood thought he knew how to anyways.

The commentary was continuing below, as Lee announced Slytherin in the lead.

"Well that's just peachy!" Sirius groaned, not even having wondered about the game anymore now that Harry was in real danger of getting hurt. Again!

Harry became all the more frustrated as he realized the Slytherin's brooms were clearly outmatched his own teams. Fred and George were trying their best to help, constantly circling around Harry and taking turns swinging at the cannonball like object, but Harry reflected he'd never find the Snitch as he couldn't see around their flailing arms.

"I don't care," Lily yelped, "you're much safer being surrounded by them!"

The boys nodded in firm agreement, Remus asking, "why hasn't anyone called a timeout yet? Clearly something's wrong."

Harry sighed in defeat, knowing full well no one called this particular game off.

Fred managed to point out that someone had tampered with the Bludger

"Then why wasn't the game canceled," Lily ground out in frustration.

"Because Quidditch isn't canceled, not for anything," James sighed, for once in his life wishing the opposite.

"But it's obvious something's wrong-" Lily still tried, but was cut off by Sirius reminding, "Same was true of Harry's first game and that broom, and no one called it off then, even if they'd been given the chance. Quidditch just isn't cancelled Lily."

She sighed in disappointment, but stopped arguing the point in favor of hearing how Harry survived this.

in between smacking the ball away from Harry's head again. His twin somehow managed to call a timeout at the same time as stopping the Bludger from an impending attack.

"Props for multitasking," Harry laughed, but he was the only one who did.

The message came through, and the Gryffindors got a quick break as Harry and the two Weasleys made it to the ground while still having to avoid the rogue Bludger.

"Did it follow you onto the ground?" James asked.

"No," Harry said, "but it circled around me, like some bird in the air."

All four of them shivered, hating that mental image, and still unable to come up with a person who could do this.

Wood took the opportunity to begin yelling at the twins, pointing out they were losing,

"That's what he's concerned about!" James yelped.

"I'm really starting to dislike this kid," Sirius growled.

"He didn't notice," Harry said quickly, not liking that mean look that was flickering across their faces.

demanding to know where they'd been as the Slytherins had used the other Bludger to knockout Angelina.

"Saving my son's life," Lily hissed, only slightly forgiving the comment because of what Harry said.

The twins protested they'd been above, saving Harry's head! They quickly explained that something must be wrong with the Bludger, and Harry glanced over to see their timeout was already almost over.

"Did anyone else notice?" Remus asked.

"Not really," Harry sighed, "I think they noticed a bit more after this time out, but no one stops this game."

All of them looked beyond angry.

Harry then told his captain to tell the twins to leave him alone, let him handle the messed up ball on his own, making the crack he wouldn't catch it unless it flew up his sleeve.

"Really!" Sirius yelped, "That's your plan! At least let them pretend to do their job!"

Harry shook his head furiously saying, "No, I could handle it. I did handle it! Mostly," he finished lamely at their astounded looks.

"Harry," James said weakly, "a game isn't worth your head being knocked off."

"I know-" Harry tried to butt in, but Lily interrupted first, "If you do, then why are you so insistent about this?"

"I don't want our team to lose another match." Harry said furiously. "I didn't get a chance at the tournament last year, and if we called a time off it would be over for us again! I handled this just fine and," he sucked in a deep breath as he said with confidence, "I won us the match." Finishing

with a horrible wince of pain for having dared to tempt his memories.

The four of them exchanged unhappy looks, but finally admitted there was nothing for it. If he said he could handle it, who were they to argue?

"Least it would be impressive if you pulled off a Plumpton Pass," Sirius muttered without any real emphasis. All of them knew they weren't going to be happy until this nightmare of a game was over.

Fred snapped that Harry was being an idiot, that Bludger was going to come away with his head.

Remus winced as he read that, not liking that mental image repeated.

The rest of the team tried to protest as well, and George then turned on Wood and told him this was his fault! He'd been the one to tell Harry get the Snitch or die trying, and Harry had taken that too literally!

Sirius pursed his lips, dearly wishing to agree, but knowing it might offend Harry. If the determined look on his face was any indication, he made a good call.

Wood relented, and told Harry he could have it his way. Turning to the twins and telling them to leave Harry be for this game.

James muttered mutinously, knowing full well as team captain himself once, he would never have made that call!

The game resumed, and Harry had to resort to some pretty out there methods of avoiding the weighted ball. As it was heavier then Harry, it couldn't turn as easily, so despite the laughing crowd, Harry managed a couple of goofy spins to keep it away from him for the most part.

"I do not see how this is funny!" Lily snapped in disgust.

he knew he must look very stupid,

"At least you're dodging, who cares how it looks," Sirius muttered.

and he couldn't hover for more than a second for fear of getting hit, which he was reminded of every time his hair was gusted as the Bludger missed again.

All four of them shuddered in disgust again, knowing that wasn't going to get any better no matter how many times it was said.

Malfoy of course took the opportunity to mock Harry, saying he looked like he was training for the ballet,

Sirius was far too keyed up to make a comment on that lame joke.

but Harry hardly cared when he noticed what was hovering above the blondes head. While Malfoy sat there laughing at Harry, Harry had spotted the Snitch.

James smiled meanly, feeling a slight bit better at this jerk who was more than likely going to get his comeuppance, and a face full of Bludger if Harry went for it.

Malfoy clearly hadn't seen it himself he was too busy mocking Harry,

"So we were right," James said, trying vainly to change the subject to happier topics, "he's a

rubbish player."

"I'll bet Harry never loses a match against him," Sirius agreed.

and Harry remained frozen in place as he feared if he went for it Malfoy might notice and grab it first. SMACK!

Remus choked, bug eyed as he spat that out.

Harry was rubbing his right arm in remembered pain and said, "It hurt, I'm not going to say it didn't, but it's just a break. Nothing worse than that."

They nodded, taking a deep breath Remus kept going.

Harry had hovered one moment too long, the Bludger had finally landed a hit, and smashed into Harry's elbow.

'I don't think I want Harry on the Quidditch team anymore' Lily thought sadly, though decided to keep that to herself since she thought the boys might get mad at her.

Actually, the other three boys did agree. Harry didn't seem able to go a single game without something life threatening happening, it made him too easy of a target apparently.

Harry's vision nearly blacked out right then from the pain of a broken arm, but his determination won out even as the Bludger came back around for another hit this time going for his face again,

"It didn't hit," Harry reassured at once, when they all looked ashen.

only one thought firmly seared into his brain, get the Snitch.

"Credit for determination anyways," James sighed.

Ignoring his throbbing limb, Harry steered his broom one handed and went for Malfoy, who froze up in fear as he seemed to think Harry was moving to attack him.

"Not a bad idea," Sirius nodded, using this as a distraction from the idea of Harry's arm dangling useless at his side.

Malfoy flew away, and Harry's free hand closed around the tiny golden ball. Now he was left holding onto his broom with nothing but his knees.

Remus stopped here to shake his head in wonder at his cub. "You can now tell people you can catch a Snitch with one arm tied behind your back," he told him.

Sirius smacked him, hard.

"Ouch, what! You two can makes jokes, but I can't!"

"No," Sirius shrugged, "I just really wanted a reason to smack you back for all the times you've done it to me. Taking away my joke was just a good excuse."

Lily smiled indulgently at them, almost envious of their ability to joke around while being equally as worried. Everyone coped in their own way she supposed.

Now there was nothing stopping Harry's broom from going towards the muddy ground below, which Harry never felt as blackness continued coloring his vision.

"How did that work out for you?" Lily asked uneasily.

"I think I lost conscious for a few seconds," Harry shrugged, "I wake back up and it's still raining on me anyways."

Lily nodded, slightly content with that.

Suddenly there was mud all around him, and Harry was only vaguely aware that he still had the Snitch in hand as he waved it around and claimed that they'd won, before passing out.

"I'm going to laugh if that was all just a dream," James chuckled, his son never ceased to amuse him.

"He's had some vivid dreams before," Sirius agreed.

"Hopefully he'll wake up with a teacher over him, waiting to heal his arm," Lily grumbled, still unpleased with the whole scenario even if her son came away perfectly fine.

Harry came back to quick enough, rain still falling on his face, and gleaming teeth above him.

"Oh no," Remus groaned, planting his forehead against the book in genuine pain at what could possibly happen next.

"I didn't mean him!" Lily yelped, "I meant McGonagall!"

"Next time when you're hoping for something, be name specific," James grumbled.

Harry's very first words were 'not him!' The guy just laughed, saying Harry had no idea what he was saying.

"He knows exactly what he's saying," Sirius growled.

"You never seem to though," Remus huffed.

Sirius gave him a confused look, unsure if his friend was making a joke at him or Lockhart, but Remus wasn't going to answer.

It was Lockhart, standing amongst the crowd of Gryffindors as he soothed Harry that he was going to fix his arm.

"No!" All five of them yelped in real fear.

"That moron can't handle a pixie, I don't want to even think what would happen if he tried that!" Lily hissed.

"With any luck, a puff of smoke will escape," Sirius said, "then he'll make up some lame excuse, and prattle Harry's ear off up to the Hospital wing."

Harry was still rubbing his arm in remembrance, he had a bad feeling about this. He knew one thing, his arm stopped hurting after Lockhart's spell. It wasn't for a good reason though.

Harry tried to say he'd rather keep it as it was,

The three boys chuckled weakly.

but he was in so much pain he couldn't move away. He also heard the distinct noise of a camera going off, and shouted out that he didn't want a picture of this Colin!

"Why would you take a photo of that," Lily asked in disgust.

"Kid's going to make a great photographer one of these days," Remus smiled, "he's certainly not squeamish."

"That wasn't my point," Harry huffed.

Lockhart ignored all of this as he pulled out his wand, and Harry still tried to protest as he said he'd much rather go up to the hospital wing.

"Because he's a pompous, big headed, arrogant-" Sirius began, while Lily finally cut him off saying:

"Sirius, I'm sure you can keep going for a year, but I want to hear this."

Wood had been one of the onlookers this whole time, and chose now to pipe up and say that Harry really should get help from the professional, but then turned and praised Harry for his marvelous catch.

"I really hate agreeing with him," James grumbled, thinking Wood was too happy for the circumstances. You could be happy about winning after all of your players were healed up!

Harry spotted Fred and George a ways out, still fighting with the Bludger and trying to force it back into its crate, but the ball was still fighting back.

"Whoever cursed that thing, I'm going to curse them into oblivion," James vowed.

Harry wondered why his automatic reaction was to correct his Dad. Why would he want to defend whoever did this?

Lockhart was ready now, rolling back his green sleeves,

"Jeez, wonder which team he was supporting," Sirius said vaguely.

and pointing his wand at Harry. There was no more chance to stop him, as Harry began to feel an odd sensation from the tips of his fingers all the way to his shoulder.

"That's not the feeling you should have," Lily said, real fear creeping into her as she wondered what this inept idiot had done to her son.

"Wish it had said the spell he tried," Remus muttered, "because I'd like to use it on him."

"He said Brackium Emendo," Harry offered brightly, knowing full well Lockhart deserved whatever his family was thinking up, though still having an issue with remembering why.

"That's, actually a real spell," Lily said in surprise.

"So why isn't the feeling he's having the right one," James said uneasily.

Lily bit her lip before waving Remus on, trying to figure that out herself.

Harry got the odd sensation that his arm was being deflated.

"Well," Lily began again, thinking out loud now, "I know that if you don't have enough magical ability to perform a spell properly it often does the opposite effect. That's why you don't walk in trying to do seventh year spells," Lily explained that part for Harry's benefit, "so if this dolt hasn't built up enough of an ability to perform this spell correctly..." she trailed off, puzzling, "what would be the opposite of mending broken bones?"

"I don't want to find out," James sighed as Remus read on, now a little curious himself, and having an abundance of faith Madame Pomfrey could fix it if, most likely, Lockhart simply broke

the bone further. Then of course, he'd just have to hurt Lockhart all the more for prolonging Harry's pain.

Harry was to terrified to see what had been done to his arm even as the crowd around him gasped in shock and the mad clicking of a camera doubled up.

"That can't be a good sign," Sirius muttered.

His arm didn't hurt anymore,

Lily perked up in surprise, perhaps Harry just had a unique reaction to the spell?

nor did it feel remotely like his arm.

"Not a good sign at all," James agreed.

Lockhart tried to brush it off as Ron and Hermione approached, saying he'd done all he could and they could take him up to the Hospital now to tidy Harry up.

"Tidy him up?" Remus asked, "What does that even mean?"

"Fix his screw up," Harry muttered.

"You remember what happened?" James asked quickly.

"No," Harry sighed, knowing he wasn't going to be able to hold the memory until the book said it, "but I know it wasn't good."

Harry got unsteadily to his feet, feeling oddly off balance. Sucking in a big breath for fear of what he was going to find, Harry finally glanced down at his arm and nearly blacked out again.

"Did he remove your arm or something!" Lily yelped.

Harry opened and closed his mouth several times, but now that he seemed to actually remember what he saw, he didn't seem able to spit it out.

Remus read quickly now.

Hanging from his shoulder was a loose pile of flesh. His fingers wouldn't move, his wrist wouldn't turn, nothing was happening.

There was a muscle twitching in Sirius' jaw as he finally realized what had happened.

Remus looked like he really was going to pass out.

James and Lily refused to react until Remus flat out read.

Harry realized that Lockhart had not in fact fixed Harry's arm, he'd removed all of the bones in it.

"He's dead," James vowed. "He is officially a dead man. He-" he spluttered out, most likely to outraged to finish his sentence.

"What I find most interesting," Remus said threw gritted teeth, "is how he managed to switch those spells! You're supposed to stop making those kinds of mistakes at fourth year, at the latest!"

"What spell did he actually use?" Harry asked.

"It's called Ossio Dispersimus," James said, "only used in the most severe crisis, when the bones can't be mended for some reason or another, and you have to temporarily take them out."

"So they will grow back," Harry said eagerly, his family didn't seem that concerned about this.

"Oh yes," Lily said at once, "take a bit of Skele-Gro, and your bones will come right back."

Harry nodded, then still deciding he was curious, asked, "How would you switch spells like that?"

"It's a rookie mistake," James snorted, "but something that can happen when you start learning spells, and then counterspells. If you aren't concentrating on the spell you're intending to use, you can accidentally cause another spell to happen."

"I'm not surprised," Sirius huffed, "that idiot can't focus on anything but his reflection. He shouldn't be trying any spells!"

"Just proves his incompetence all the more," Harry shrugged, "not that anyone should have

needed it."

Still furious, but calmed slightly by the subsequent discussion, they were all willing to keep going without shouting death threats, for now.

Madam Pomfrey wasn't pleased. She was yelling at the lot of them for not taking Harry to her the moment this had happened, while tossing Harry some spare pj's and telling him he'd have to stay the night. Harry was relieved when she promised she could fix his arm though. Ron had to help him put his shirt on, trying to stuff the rubber mess into a sleeve.

"Ew," Sirius wrinkled up his nose at the mental image.

Ron was yelling at Hermione that how could she stick up for Lockhart now! Hermione pointed out that anyone could make a mistake,

"I've never heard of anyone doing that after the age of sixteen," Remus sniffed, "by that time, any idiot can master the concept of focusing on one spell at a time."

"Can't believe Hermione is still sticking up for him," Lily sighed.

and reminding that it didn't hurt Harry anymore. Harry huffed that it hardly felt like his arm either as it uselessly flopped around at his side.

"Gross," James grumbled.

Madam Pomfrey came back with a bottle of Skele-Gro, telling Harry to drink it up, and warning Harry that regrowing bones was a terrible process.

Now it was Harry's turn to wrinkle up his nose in disgust at the remembered taste of that.

"What did it taste like?" Sirius asked, he'd never known anyone who had to take it.

"Nothing you'd ever tasted before, or wanted again," Harry grumbled.

The Skele-Gro tasted terrible and left a foul taste as it went down Harry's throat. Madam Pomfrey began heading back to her office once he'd finished, muttering furiously about dangerous sports and inept teachers.

"The worst part is, I can't even argue with her this time," Remus sighed.

Ron tried to look on the bright side by pointing out the look that had been on Malfoy's face when they won the match. Hermione asked how on earth he could have done that to the Bludger, and Harry said they could just add it to their list of questions they'd ask when they took the Polyjuice Potion.

"Sorry Harry," Lily sighed, "I just don't see him being able to do that. Those Bludgers are charmed especially so that they can't be tampered with. No student should be able to get past that."

Harry nodded, agreeing with his mom's opinion even without the feeling's reinforcing that she was right.

Then he hoped it at least tasted better than the Skele-Gro.

"Sadly not," James wrinkled his nose in disgust, "I had to take some once, Auror training protocol and all, and it doesn't matter who you change into. The stuff is awful."

"Gee, thanks dad," Harry said.

The rest of the team showed up then with proper drinks and candies to celebrate Harry's victory, George praising Harry on his win as well and telling Harry how he'd seen the Slytherin Captain yelling at Malfoy for not grabbing at the Snitch right above his head.

"With any luck he'll get kicked off the team!" Sirius said brightly, finally finding something good about this match.

Madam Pomfrey came back around then, kicking every one of them out and saying how Harry needed rest. So Harry had nothing to distract himself from the burning pain that was beginning in his boneless arm.

"Her intentions are good, honestly," Remus sighed, "but if I'm ever told to rest again, I really will smack someone."

James and Sirius exchanged smiles, knowing full well they had never indulged in Pomfrey's rules. They had always used James cloak, and snuck down to see Remus, and they wondered if Ron

and Hermione would do the same.

Harry managed to fall into a fitful sleep, and woke several hours later. At first he thought he'd been awoken by the horrible pain in his arm that felt like he was growing his own splinters.

"Ouch," they all muttered, not liking that description one bit.

Then he realized there was someone on his bedside, patting a sponge against his forehead.

"Hermione?" James asked, sounding more confused than confident.

"Why would she be there?" Lily asked.

"Because these two knuckleheads were thinking Harry's friends would sneak in to see him," Remus offered, "but I think Hermione doing that is a little odd."

"I think it just proves all the more how much she likes Harry," Sirius snipped, giving Harry a look he didn't understand one bit. Of course Hermione liked him, they were friends.

Harry snapped for whoever to stop it, then he recognized Dobby.

"Dobby!" They yelped in surprise. "What's he doing there?" Remus added on.

"What's he doing there?" James repeated when Harry looked uneasily around the room, his dad's voice coming out between gritted teeth as he guessed what Harry was thinking now.

"Ah, why are you asking me," he finally said, "I've no idea."

All four of them grumbled a bit, having a really bad feeling about this. The last time Dobby had been around, it hadn't been very pleasant, and they were just as weary this time.

The house-elf was obviously distraught, watching Harry with tears leaking out of his eyes.

"Wait," Sirius said, "so does that mean, did Dobby have something to do with paralyzing Mrs. Norris?"

"What makes you think that?" James asked.

"He's trying to scare Harry into leaving, I'm wondering if he might have pulled that stunt to keep that going," Sirius shrugged.

"No," Remus said, going a little pale, "but you're on the right track, I think. What if Dobby was trying to scare Harry away from the school because he knew something like this might happen."

"A house-elf knew a cat would be paralyzed?" James asked in disbelief.

"It's not out of the realm of possibilities," Lily agreed with Remus.

"Well then who paralyzed the cat, and is making Harry hear a voice," Sirius asked, throwing his hands up in frustration. They were pretty well into this book by now, and still had no real suspect.

All five of them sighed, letting it go for now.

Dobby was scolding Harry for having come to school, how he was still in danger and why hadn't Harry just given up when he missed the train?

"Well, guess I was right," Remus sighed, not looking very happy.

"Yes, yes, that does tend to happen sometimes," Sirius scoffed.

"Now I just want to know if I was right about why he did," Remus huffed, ignoring Sirius so that he could read.

Harry pushed Dobby's hand, and the sponge, away as he heaved himself upright.

"That's kind of creepy," James muttered, finding it much less endearing than a girl that was a friend of Harry's.

"It's like he adopted Harry," Sirius nodded. "If Dobby didn't have a family of his own, and Harry was of age, Harry could possibly bind Dobby to his family line."

"Is that really how it works?" Lily asked.

"It's more complicated than just saying it," Sirius smirked at her, "but something along those lines."

Lily huffed, unable to decide if he was being sarcastic, and none of the boys were helping.

Harry demanded to know if Dobby had really been the one to block him and Ron!

"How?" Lily asked in disbelief, "Exactly how powerful are house-elves?"

"Very," Sirius said with a straight face, "they're probably the most powerful magical creature that exist, which is why they were enslaved by wizards so many years ago."

"How were they enslaved if they're so powerful?" Harry asked.

"That's a long, really ugly history on the wizard part," Remus said, "we'll try and explain that later."

Harry nodded in content for now.

Dobby agreed it was him. He'd been so stunned to hear that Harry had still made it to school he'd messed up on one of his chores and forced to iron his own hands.

Lily winced in sympathy for the poor thing all over again, though honestly thinking she was still annoyed at him being the cause of all of Harry's problems this year.

Dobby said he didn't care though, saying how he thought it was worth it because surely Harry didn't have another way to get to school.

"Also proves my earlier point," James nodded, "he clearly has no idea how things work if he thought the train was the only way to get to school."

Dobby had been so surprised to hear Harry was at Hogwarts he'd burnt his master's dinner, and received his worst ever thrashing.

Lily's lower lip quivered in real pain for this creature now, saying, "I feel like an arse. How are there not laws in place to prevent this kind of thing?"

"It's not your fault Lily," James said at once, "exactly how many people are involved in that type of thing, and none of them have said a word either."

"Besides," Sirius shrugged, "I doubt there's anything you could do. Pass as many laws as you like, house-elves belong to their owners. You can't control the way they're treated."

Lily fired up at once, snapping, "Like you can't control the way people treat animals, or their own children! There are laws to prevent that kind of abuse! You see house-elves as less than them!"

Sirius' superior look faltered for the first time. He disagreed with nearly every aspect of his parent's life, but the one thing he'd never had a problem with was their treatment of Kreacher. He was a vile thing, hateful and spiteful to the extreme, to him anyways. So whenever he saw him being punished, never bothering to learn the reasons, he'd had no problems. Never having met any other house-elves besides the ones at Hogwarts, who he'd given about as much attention as the ghosts into their free time outside of politely giving him food, he had no reason to think otherwise about the species as a whole.

Dobby certainly hadn't changed his mind so far, he was being an absolute arse trying to keep Harry out of school. Now, at Lily's words, he suddenly thought of Harry at Privet Drive again, no

one taking the time to care what happened to him. Harry had tried comparing his life to Dobby's and Sirius had scoffed at the idea, there couldn't be any similarities, right?

He shook off his feelings and snapped at Remus to keep going, ignoring the curious looks from everyone else at what exactly had him quiet for so long.

Harry was more exasperated than anything as he told Dobby he'd better get lost before he got both arms back, or he'd probably strangle Dobby himself. Dobby said he was used to death threats, he got them frequently enough at home, then he blew his nose on a bit of his pillowcase.

"Wow, I kind of forgive him," Remus said sadly, "this is just sad."

James and Lily both nodded, Sirius crossed his arms and said nothing. Surely the elf was just trying to get Harry to pity him.

Harry asked why Dobby even wore that, and Dobby said it was a mark of being a house-elf, not being allowed to wear clothes. Dobby could only be freed from his slavery if masters gave him clothes, and they were very careful never to pass Dobby so much as a sock.

Harry went a little cross eyed for a moment, hating that feeling of significance that was gone as soon as he tried to understand why.

Dobby changed the subject then, saying he'd been sure his Bludger,

"His Bludger!" Sirius roared, "he tried to break your head open!"

"Sirius, you said you wouldn't add him to your kill list," Harry said weakly, "whatever he did remember? Dobby's got the right intentions...I think."

This calmed the others, slightly. They were still angry, but they had promised not to take it out on Dobby. He must have a reason for this if Harry said so.

Sirius though, was still furious. He'd only agreed to that because he thought Dobby wouldn't make another appearance, that his worst thing he'd done was make Harry's life even more miserable at the Dursley's, more than enough reason to warrant his fury, but he had given Harry the benefit of the doubt in pitying the creature. Besides, it not being his house-elf, he couldn't do anything about it anyways. Now, he was determined to find out whose elf this was, and silently planning on doing something to the stupid little thing. Maybe not kill him, he'd keep that promise, but he would never take anything threatening his godson's life without taking revenge back.

and Harry cut him off in outrage, demanding to know why Dobby wanted him dead! Dobby corrected he didn't want to kill him,

Dobby corrected he didn't want to kill him,

"What did he think was going to happen when he aimed a weighted ball at your head?" Remus demanded.

"Err," Harry said lamely, he had no response for that.

he only wanted to save his life. Better to go home with an injury,

"So he intended to send you home limbless!" James yelped in disgust.

"I don't care what the elf thinks," Lily huffed, "if you couldn't be helped at the school, you would have been sent to Saint Mungo's, healed there, and then come back to school."

"Like Dad said," Harry shrugged, "Dobby doesn't know how this stuff works."

"That's getting old," James muttered.

then to remain at school. Harry snapped that Dobby needed to tell him why Harry was in such danger.

"If he answers that, I actually will forgive him," Remus huffed in agitation. Clearly Dobby knew something he wasn't telling.

Dobby moaned that he still couldn't, but it was dangerous here! Harry was too important to be lost that way, as he still stood for so much good. How his kind had been treated so much better since the fall of You-Know-Who. Something terrible was happening at school now though, and it involved He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

"Why would that be?" James asked curiously, "people would treat their house-elf's the same without Voldemort being around."

"More of Dobby not having a clue what's going on," Sirius muttered in disgust.

Lily gave him a scathing look. She had thought she'd seen, for just a moment, something pass across his face. Now it was gone, and he looked as surely as any other time elves were mentioned.

Now that the Chamber had been opened again, terrible things were set to happen.

"Once more?" James asked in surprise. "When was it opened before?"

"I've never heard of that," Sirius agreed.

"Wish we had," Remus sighed, "we might have gotten more clues where it is."

"Are you lot crazy?" Lily yelped in disgust, "the 'monster' that's supposedly in there doesn't bother you!"

"Nah," Sirius said, "that's probably just fake, to scare people away from finding it. Slytherin might have hide something really valuable there, and I want to know what."

"So here's hoping Harry might find it," James said, going bright eyed for a moment.

"I want to slap all of you," she sighed, rubbing at her own temple. Harry fought back the urge to agree with his mother.

Dobby froze up as he realized he'd said too much, and he picked up Harry's cup and began cracking himself over the head with it as he scolded himself.

"This elf is weird," James said, "I don't get why that was a secret."

"Well, since we didn't know about it, I'd say it isn't widely known," Sirius shrugged.

"Wonder what happened before," Remus said thoughtfully.

Harry quickly took the cup back and tried to argue that what did this have to do with him? He wasn't even muggle-born, why was he in danger?

"That's another good point," Lily nodded, "his statues, should protect him. Why is Dobby so freaked over Harry in particular?"

"No good reason," Harry sighed.

Dobby pleaded with Harry to stop asking questions, just to please leave. Harry refused, wanting to know who had opened it before, who had done it now? Dobby still insisted he couldn't say.

"So he knows then," Remus said, raising a brow in surprise.

"Geez, I really want to know who Dobby's owner is," Sirius said, ulterior motives aside, he just knew that this elf's owner would somehow be important for Dobby to be knowing all of this.

Dobby froze up then, and Harry heard why. Footsteps were headed up, and Dobby took the chance to disappear again. Harry quickly curled back up in his bed to feign sleep as the door opened.

"Probably for the best," Lily said sadly, "he clearly couldn't tell you anything, or if he let something slip out he beat the crap out of himself."

"Here's hoping he doesn't come back," Sirius muttered.

Dumbledore came in backwards, looking like he was carrying some stone figure by its feet,

Remus stopped right there, glancing up briefly at the others who all looked as scared as he felt.

"A statue," Lily whimpered, "like a human sized statue?"

Harry nodded dumbly, knowing full well he wasn't going to like what Remus was fixing to read.

"Please tell me it was Lockhart," Sirius said weakly.

Remus sucked in a deep breath before reading.

and McGonagall quickly followed with the head. They laid it gently on the nearest bed while McGonagall tore off to go and get Madam Pomfrey. She returned demanding to know what had happened, and Dumbledore explained that Minerva had found him on the stairs.

"Him?" Lily yelped.

"On the stairs?" James said with unease, "It wasn't Ron was it?"

"No," Harry said with confidence.

"Stop interrupting me," Remus huffed, "I want to know who it is."

The married couple went silent at the rebuke.

McGonagall said how she'd found some food next to him, and theorized he had probably been on his way up here to visit Harry.

All five of them shivered in disgust, hoping dearly McGonagall was wrong.

Harry took a chance and glanced over to see it was Colin.

"Bloody hell," Sirius groaned.

"That poor kid," Lily whispered.

"Who would attack him though?" Remus asked, running one hand through his hair in frustration, "everyone hates Mrs. Norris and Filch, but who has a grudge against a first year?"

"Maybe it's random?" James offered.

"Or it really is someone against muggle-borns," Sirius said, fidgeting a bit and hoping he was wrong.

"You still can't tell a muggle-born just by looking at them," James disagreed, "so unless someone knew Colin, that shouldn't matter."

"I still want to know how!" Remus asked when it appeared they still had no new leads on the first question. "The only thing that can petrify people like that is a gorgon. I refuse to believe one is getting in and out of that school without being noticed."

They all sighed as they realized, despite a new victim, they had no more answers than before, and in fact more questions.

"My question is, what's the point?" James grumbled, "this can't all just be to scare the students. There must be an endgame to this."

"Let us know if you figure it out," Harry said miserably.

He was as petrified as Mrs. Norris had been a look of great shock on his face, barely visible underneath the camera he was holding against his eye. McGonagall was muttering in relief that it was just lucky Dumbledore had been on his way to get something to drink.

"I thought Dumbledore said McGonagall found him on the stairs?" Sirius asked, trying to distract himself again, "what, did she really fear she couldn't handle whatever on her own."

"Would you want to handle this on your own?" Remus shuddered.

"Do gorgons eat people or something?" Harry asked.

"They're not known to," Remus shook his head, "they're not categorized as beasts anyways. They haven't been known to make any appearance at any congregation of our kind, so very little is known about their habits."

"They're found in Greece," Sirius added, "there's never even been a sighting of them here."

Dumbledore made to remove his camera, and McGonagall asked hopefully if Colin had somehow managed to get a picture of who'd done this to him.

"Now that's interesting," James said thoughtfully, "has anyone ever brought out muggle things to see what happens when a gorgon stairs at it?"

"Don't even think about it," Lily snapped at once, "I don't even want to think of you lot out there trying those kinds of stunts."

The boys all huffed in annoyance, Sirius saying, "I told you Lily would be a killjoy."

"Be nice," James said at once, "she just means she doesn't want to hear about it, because she wants to come. Isn't that right Lily Flower."

Lily looked to the ceiling, as if praying for patience, and Remus took that as his cue to keep going.

Harry felt like he was going to be sick again, but he was learning to control the feeling the more it went on. It wasn't a gorgon, his instincts were sure of this, but he refused to allow another memory to blast him again. They clearly scared his family, so he would just have to wait and see to find out

what it really was, and in the meantime, ask as many questions as it took to take his mind off this pain.

Dumbledore opened up the camera,

Lily was tempted to point out that under normal circumstances, that would have ruined the film, but this was a magically imbued camera so perhaps there were charms in place to protect this?

Either way she didn't know cameras that well, and didn't want to delay in pointing this out to the others.

but they all yelped in shock with black steam came jetting out of the back of the camera, and Harry could clearly smell melted plastic.

"Well that answers that question," Sirius said, a little disappointed.

"I'm surprised Colin would have still gotten petrified though," Remus said thoughtfully, "after all the only sure fire way to not be hurt by the gorgon's look is to only look at their reflection. I guess looking through a lens wouldn't count."

"Again, something more to test," James grinned.

Lily twitched, and James automatically flinched back like he thought she was going to slap him again. Lily instead smoothed some hair back from her face, exposing a vindictive smile.

McGonagall was stunned as she demanded of Dumbledore what on earth could have done this. Dumbledore simply answered that this confirmed the Chamber was in fact open again.

"How does he work that out?" Lily asked grumpily, more than sick of this whole school being so vague this year.

"I wonder," Remus pondered, having noted something about a monster within the Chamber earlier, it didn't really add up though...

"What are you thinking Moony?" James asked.

He shook himself and said, "let me finish this chapter, it's only a bit left, then I'll explain."

McGonagall asked who,

"That's what we want to know," Lily grumbled.

but Dumbledore corrected it wasn't a who they should be worried about, but how.

"Okay Remus, how?" James demanded.

HPHPHPHP

Actual favorite chapter of this book, I tell even though no one asked.

[sleepyfan-blog]

Recue Sci

fandom: Undertale multiverse AU

First part of this series is here. Previous is here. 

characters: SF!Sans, FS!Sans, Fell!Sans, Ink, Science!Sans, Dr. Alphys, W.D. Gaster

warnings: cursing 

word count: 3,152

Summary: The Fell Squad and Ink go to rescue Sci.

“Ink you better not have left the nerd in the ass end of some shit AU.” Red growled, his voice a low, bass rumble of protective irritation.

The creative guardian sighed a little bit and shook his head, before realizing that he was talking to Red on the phone and said “Sci should be fine. As far as I know, he's in his home timeline. I’ve gotten similarly irritated messages from Razz and Blackberry. Just what do you three think is going on with him?”

“... Did you not receive the text message from him less than five minutes ago asking for help? Or do you just not care?” Red snapped, irritated at how disinterested the bastard sounded.

“Hmm? Oh that. Yeah I saw that - I checked on him. He’s fine! I popped my head in to see where he was. He’s taking a nap on an exam table in Hotlands.” Ink answered with a shrug that the other Sans couldn’t see “He was probably just trying to avoid falling asleep - you know how he often overworks himself. There’s also a chance that he was trying to type something else and his phone autocorrected. He had it in his hand still.”

“... Is his Gaster still alive?” Red demanded after a moment, sounding even more worried than before.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Ink asked, curious and confused as to why that mattered at all. "But yes, he is."

"Because the Gaster I knew was an unmitigated bastard who experimented on me an' my bro for years before we managed to shove that old bastard into the heart of the Core? And the nerd's Gaster has decided that it's time to torture him? I know you have the whole 'I don't interfere with the running of timelines' thing but you take us in and out of our own and help each other with things all the time. And if Sci is all traumatized all to shit, then he's not going to be able to help you with science-y shit." Red growled "So come get me, Razz and Blackberry. We'll punch Gaster in the face for you and rescue Sci. All you gotta do is get us there."

"Hmm... In exchange for...?" Ink pressed, a small smile on his face, curious as to see if he could get anything out of the irritable monster.

"Ugh. Next time you gotta deal with Error's bullshit, call me up and I'll drop everything I'm doing to help you. No questions asked and no complaining." Red offered with a scowl.

Ink brightened up - getting this promise from Razz and Blackberry as well. He didn't necessarily need their help to deal with Error, but it certainly made the fight easier to contain the potential extra damage that Error could do to a timeline before they chased him off. And the fights didn't take as long before the destructive glitch decided that it wasn't worth his time to fight all of them at once - especially as the others had gotten so much better at dodging his strings. “Great! Thank you Red. I’ll be in your timeline in about five minutes or so - Razz and Blackberry want to see Sci as well. I’m sure he’s fine, and you three are overreacting a bit.”

~

Six minutes later, and the four of them were standing outside of The Labs in Sci’s timeline, with all three Fell Sanses glowering at the door. “So why didn’t you just ‘port us in to where you saw him last?” Red demanded.

“Ah, you see - while I was able to open a portal to see where Sci was, they’ve managed to rig something that keeps me from actually entering the labs without being allowed in first. I’m not sure if Dream’s portals are blocked as well, or if they’ve figured out how to keep just me from popping in whenever I want.” Ink answered honestly, shrugging a little.

“Wait… Since when does Dream have -you know what? We’re going to table that comment for later. For now we need to get this stars-damned door open.” Razz hissed, stomping over to it and banging on it loudly “I THE MALEFICENT SANS DEMAND THAT YOU OPEN THIS DOOR. YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO COMPLY BEFORE I BREAK IT DOWN.” He took two steps backwards, arms folded over his chest. Ten seconds passed by very slowly, and with absolutely nothing changing.

“VERY WELL. SINCE YOU’VE DECIDED NOT TO COMPLY WITH MY DEMAND-” He paused for a moment, summoning a blaster and aiming its’ maw at the door, the blaster’s destructive ruby magic collecting between it’s bifurcated lower mandibles “I WILL BE OPENING THE DOOR RIGHT NOW.” He gave the scientists another three seconds, in case someone smart and cowardly decided to act. When they did not, Razz caused his blaster to let out a short, quick burst of destructive magic - Red and Blackberry summoning floating bone attacks as well.His blaster destroyed the door and only a small portion of the outer wall. It scorched a bit of the white tiles and sent debris flying further into the building, but all in all it was a very neat, well controlled burst. Alarms started blaring as the four of them walked onto the first floor.

Red hit the call button for the elevator, having teleported over to it as soon as the smoke had cleared and there were no enemies immediately in sight. He froze for a moment when he thought he heard a nervous squeak from the half-floor above him, and then smirked. He teleported up and spotted a small yellow lizard-monster who looked like the Alphys of this world. He stalked towards her, knowing that he would loom above her and rumbled “Hey there Alph. Now unless you’re doing something wrong there’s no need to be scared. I just want to talk to you for a little while, understand?”

“I-I… Y-You’re really… P-Pointy?” The nervous lizard monster stuttered, scrambling backwards, edging for the other set of escalators, aware that there were other hostile Sanses and terribly confused as to what was going on. The only ones they’ve met before have been kind and curious beings “W-Why are you he-here?”

“We’re looking for your Sans.” Blackberry called out, casually wrapping an arm around her shoulders, resting his chin on the top of her head “Now, we’re well aware that most Alphys tend to be very shy and curious monsters, and while you can get drawn into awful and tawdry affairs, you generally mean well. The Sans of your world is a dear friend of ours, and you wouldn’t happen to know why he’s currently passed out on an examination table, would you?”

“I-I… N-No I d-do-don’t. Th-The last thing I-I know, h-he was going to b-be running some te-tests with… W-With another S-Sans.” Alphys stuttered as she went completely still, her eyes wide and terrified. Her breathing was fast and she kept clenching and unclenching her hands “H-He said something about the o-other being sick… Th-The other S-Sans I think was named… S-Something with a D? He was wearing blue and had ye-yellow gloves and a cape. Wh-why was he wearing a crown? I-Is that S-Sans royalty?”

“Ink! Get your apathetic ass up here right now. Did you know that Dream was going to be visiting Sci today? He’s here too, apparently.” Red yelled, his eye lights briefly shrinking to pinpricks. If that fucking asshole did anything to either The Nerd or the Adorable Healer, he was going to pay with his life. Very slowly and painfully.

The Creative guardian appeared in a flash of paint, a little bit of a frown appearing on his face as he stared steadily at Alphys, one of his eye lights a green circle, the other a violet question mark “What did you say about Dream coming here because he was sick? I hadn’t known that he was feeling off.” both of his eye lights turned into swirls - though they were in opposing patterns “Did any of you know that?”

All three Fell Sanses shook their heads, Blackberry speaking up after a moment “I was under the impression that it was almost impossible for him to get sick - like you - because he’s a guardian as well and a lot hardier than the three of us.”

Ink frowned a little bit and answered “As far as I know that assumption is correct he does get me here in timelines that have low positivity due to the nature of his being, but I've been careful to avoid such places while traveling with him after finding that out. I found Sci asleep in an empty room on an examination table. These three have rather… Unpleasant experiences with Gasters in the past and are concerned for Sci's and Dream's safety. Just where are they? I am also very much interested in where some my dear friends are.” He’s leaning on his paintbrush and has an easygoing smile on his face… But one of his eye lights is a purple exclamation point, and the other is a red target.

“I-I d-don’t know wh-where they m-might be o-other than in the l-labs down be-below. B-But Doctor Ga-Gaster wasn’t w-with them during the tests to s-see wh-what might be affecting your f-friend.” Alphys managed out, taking in a couple of deep breaths, clearly trying to calm down and succeeding to some degree. She was very clearly nervous of the four powerful and rather hostile monsters surrounding her.

As if summoned, Gaster called out from below after a moment, sounding incredibly confused and slightly disconcerted “Why is there a giant hole where the door to the labs used to be?”

The four Sanses teleported in front of the Gaster, the still slightly trembling and terrified Alphys in the middle of them. Ink’s smile - which seemed a little bit sharper than it had been seconds ago - broadened a little as he stalked towards the much taller skeleton - his eye lights are still purple and red - one of them has concentric circles, the other a larger target “Where oh where are Dream and Sci? I know that you wouldn’t have been able to resist the opportunity to study a being from a different universe - particularly one as unusual as Dream is… So, where are they?”

“As far as I know, Sci is still running tests on Dream. You are all aware of the fact that he’s been losing MP steadily despite not actively using his magic or battling constantly, yes? He’s not physically injured, and from what I was able to observe of his behavior, it is quite likely that he has some sort of soul damage - which he’s been suffering for months if not much, much longer.” Doc G responded, folding his arms over his chest as he stares down at the creative guardian. Showing fear would be a supposed sign of guilt, and he’s done nothing wrong.

All three of the Fell Sanses swear violently at the same time, and the royal scientist has to teleport to dodge their combined attacks, sighing a little and sending a pair of his summoned hands to grab Alphys - not wanting his intern to get dusted by an overzealous alternate of his older son due to a misunderstanding. Ink, however, simply grabbed his brush and spun it, the paint hitting Gaster square in the chest exactly where the other had teleported him to, the momentum of the deceptive liquid slamming the esteemed scientist into the wall with enough force to rattle the other’s bones. “That’s not what I asked, although it’s concerning that Dream may have gotten injured in such a way, we do fight an enemy who can cause pain to someone’s souls if he gets his strings on a person’s soul, so the idea that he could also damage a person’s soul is not out of the realm of possibility. Where are Dream and Sci?”

“Sci is right here, and very confused. What’s going on? Why are you attacking Da… The doc? When did you four show up?” Sci asked, looking incredibly confused as he ran over and reached out to Ink.

“You texted all of us for help… Is Dream alright? What does he need in order to heal?” Ink responded, one of his eye lights turning into a blue teardrop, the other a purple swirl. “Is he still in the lower portion of the labs, then?”

“I have no idea where Dream is. He hit me with a sleeping spell… And I… I promised that I wouldn’t tell you all what was going on. He did ask me to give you a message, though. Dream said that if he never shows up again, it’s not because he doesn’t want to, but because he has no other choice. Also, he mentioned someone by the name of Nightmare… Do any of you know who that is?” Sci answered, looking both very worried and concerned.

The Fell Sanses shook their heads, frowning a little “Huh … Did he say at all who this Nightmare was?” Red asked for a moment, curious and reflective.

“I… he did but I… I’m pretty sure it’s related to the thing that I promised Dream I wouldn’t tell anyone else about.” Sci sighed, rubbing his face a little

Ink paused for a moment, reflecting “Occasionally while he’s asleep, he’ll call out for someone named Night or Nightmare. Usually he’s pleading in his sleep for the other to stop doing something. I’ve tried to ask him about it but he always avoid the topic. The name makes him flinch and very unhappy, so I don’t push.”

Sci went very quiet for several moments, his eye lights dull. He cleared his nonexistent throat and asked “Err, Ink? Would you mind getting dad down and fixing the wall please? The royal guard patrol is going to be swinging by soon and uhh… I'd rather not have to explain the giant hole… Or all of you, because fully grown monsters just don’t randomly appear in the underground. Especially skeleton monsters.

“Oh! Yes, that would be rather difficult to explain - and I wouldn’t want to cause more disruption to this timeline than I already have.” Ink murmured with a bright smile, teleporting over to where the hole was, readjusting his grip on his brush as he recreated the door and parts of the wall, adjusting the color slightly to make sure that it looked indistinguishable from the original. He then went over to Doc G and freed the other from his magical paint, ensuring that the other’s lab coat wasn’t stained either. Ink was pretty sure that if Dream was there, he’d make them apologize for attacking an innocent monster… But as Dream was apparently off being mysterious and secretive, they didn’t have to. He really wanted to know what it was that Sci was keeping from all of them and sauntered over to the younger skeleton “Mind if we talk alone for a bit, Sci?”

“As… Fascinating as your visits are, Ink, I really must insist that the four of you leave - we are in the middle of working on a very delicate replacement part for some of the older sections of the Core, and I need his help in order to do so.” Doc G murmured, walking forwards and gently pulling Sci to his side. “I am unsure as to how long all of this will take, but once started, it will require his full concentration.”

Ink sighed, rolling his eye lights a little as they changed shapes and colors quickly. He could just fix whatever minor issue was wrong with their power supply on his own - and then he’d be able to talk to Sci about what it was that Dream was keeping from him - but the Gaster was looking really stubborn and probably wouldn’t take kindly to him messing about with such things and irritable Gasters were annoying to deal with. “Fiiiine. Good luck on your boring project Sci! I’ll pop back later to see how you’re holding up.”

“Thanks Ink.. Uhm… Have you ever been to Dream’s home timeline?” Sci asked curiously, as if unable to help himself but to ask the question.

“Nope! I’ve wanted to, though. But Dream says that I wouldn’t find his home very interesting.” Ink said with a shrug. “It’s another one of the things that he really doesn’t like talking about, so I don’t pester him about it. Mostly because if I try he hides for a while and I don’t like it when he does that.”

“... What and you never thought that was weird at all?” Red grumped, glaring a little. He didn’t like the rather ominous message that Dream had asked Sci to give to Ink. Why and how would someone be able to trap Dream in his own timeline, when the other had the ability to travel on his own? “... And are you sure you’ve never been to Dream’s timeline before?”

“Well, for the longest time I thought that he was an outcode, like myself, Error or… Someone else.” Ink responded, not wanting to mention Fresh’s name - as he didn’t particularly want to gain the parasite’s attention right now. Mostly because Fresh liked having strong hosts - and the three Fells he was currently with were fairly strong for mortal beings and he’d rather not lose one or all of them to Fresh’s periodic need to switch hosts. “But I asked one day and he said that he’s got a home timeline… Somewhere. But I’ve never found any other Dreams before so… I guess he’s from an AU where there’s only a singular iteration? Which I’ve never seen before. There are always copies, even if they are few and far between. It’s really fascinating! And a new concept, at least as far as  I know. Dream keeps more secrets than we’re all aware of, from what I can tell. Dream’s a fascinating puzzle I hope to solve.”

The four mortal sanses shared looks with one another, frustrated that Ink said something like that, but unsurprised. The other was a soulless asshole - but Dream being around made him a bit of a better person. Or at least he pretended to be, which at least counted for something. Blackberry just sighed and rubbed one of his temples a little and grumbled “We should probably get moving then. Thank you for your time and information, Sci… As for you, Doctor Gaster - the attack was a bit… Premature - but if you ever so much as think of harming a single member of this Underground I will personally make your last moments agonizing.”

“Duly noted.” Doc G responded. He looked like he was torn between saying something more and staying quiet, but Sci gently tugged on one of his sleeves and shook his head a little. The head royal scientist nodded and sighed quietly as he followed the other into the elevator into the lower levels.

[pwnyta]

POKEMON DOODLES. BETCHA DIDNT SEE THAT COMING.

These mediocre doodles are mostly for Omi. Theyre not even real characters from the games/show... its just... dont worry about it. Since im lazy its all just sketchy doodles. ((A shit ton of them under the cut!))

Hugo (Nat- ):

Candy (Nat- Naive): A not all together newbie. Im sure she was delighted to get he codename... and then less delighted that there was someone already called ‘Candyman‘.

Scarecrow or just ‘Crow’ (Nat- Modest): A spooky man who’ll fit whatever roll he needed for. Very flexible. Has an easy personality to deal with though hes not very forthcoming about himself personally... might be better in a job like this.

Lock (Nat- Quiet):

Doc (Nat- Careful): He has a lot of information on almost everyone... aside from Sickle whos doctor is Emanuel. Hes not a fighter and refuses to evolve because his tail was mutilated and he can be a Slowbro anymore. Hes somehow gained a weirdly dark organ harvester rep... maybe because hes rarely seen and peoples imagination go wild... but to the people under his care hes just a nice, tiny guy who does a good job of patching them up quickly. He will smuggle drugs however because now he gets to work in better conditions under Sickle... hes also got a strange morbid sense of humor.

Wisp (Nat- Hasty): An ice queen type, kinda haughty and smug but shes got the skills to back that up so no one can talk shit. Like ‘sure shes an asshole... but shes not wrong‘. She tries to work WITH people just so she can get them the fuck away from her as quickly as possible. She doesnt appreciate people overstaying their welcome and prefers to go solo. If she needs a partner she prefers another woman or at least a pretty man... but someone like Link or Skim would be better.

Skim (Nat- Sassy): Honestly just a nod to Catwoman in general.

Father (Nat- Serious): A very religious man, mute, demands perfection. If you work for him and fuck up and embarrass him youre in for a world of hurt.  No matter how fond he may seem to be towards someone this is true. He doesnt play favorites and he doesnt want anyone under him to stagnate. You push yourself or HE’LL PUSH YOU. The operatives working under him are jokingly referred to as his ‘kids‘. Toward his equals he can be respectful... or maybe just tolerant.

Perma (Nat- Adamant): A cruel efficient lady. Has a thing for blades which is possibly why she has no trouble working for a guy like Sickle. The fact hes not interested piques her interest in him even more.

Gadget (Nat- Rash): Tries to be a fun gamer girl but her short temper makes it hard. Some suggest her codename should be ‘Tripwire‘ because of how unpredictably dangerous she can be... but she disagrees BECAUSE SHES A FUCKING DELIGHT. Can be a bit of a troll... and not the goofy fun kind (the malicious I’ll ruin your life if you cross me kind).

Blink (Nat- Calm) A Very obedient and very smart. Has a really droning dull voice and never loses his temper. Hes good at calming a certain Luxray down.

Mele (IDK)

Wool (Nat- Sassy) Plays dumb and pretty but hes rather clever and is a fun loving fella. Has a French accent. Master of disguise!

Wreckingball (Nat- Hardy): Has no real talent or skill. Hes just a tough bastard you call in if you need to fuck some shit up. Hes probably one of the more pleasant agents in Sickles crew and is chummy... probably not the greatest idea considering his coworkers are a bunch of shady assholes.

Mittens (Nat- Jolly): Hes another rather nice agent of Sickles. But hes not a dumbass like Wreckingball and has become of the head of the Sigma divison. He is a bit reckless tho. He can shoot his arms off and use them as weapons so he occasionally wears prosthetic arms and spends a lot of time with Doc.

Prick (Nat- Impish) Hes a smarmy lad who enjoys talking vaguely and annoying people. HIS NAME IS APPROPRIATE AND HE LOVES IT.

River (Nat- Naughty): Flirty and dangerous. Hes a killer but hes quick and efficient doesnt draw out anyones death. Not because hes nicer or squeamish or anything its because torture isnt in his job description. Hes great at getting people to think he honestly cares and like using built trust to crush his victims. He also like cucumbers! He somehow gets along well with Madam even though theyre both just being fake bitches.

Madam (Nat- Mild): Looks very dainty and delicate and uses peoples desire to please a pretty woman to take advantage of them. Shes not shy about minor edits to peoples memories to help her get away even though its illegal.

Cleo (Nat- Docile):

Cresent the Shiny Lycanroc (dusk form. Nat- relaxed)

Link the Golisopod (Nat- Quiet)-

Methuselah the Drampa (Nat- Mild)

Viola the Chatot (Nat- Naughty)

Sandstorm the Flygon (Nat- Adamant)... Her personality is like that of a strict teacher dont let her have a ruler unless you wanna get spanked. Shes neat and detail oriented and because shes so outwardly respectable... no one would ever suspect shes a fucking thief. Shes a collector of rare and valuable books and of course prefers original copies. Her social skills arent grea unless shes pretending to be someone shes not and gets embarrassed if she reveals too much about herself to anyone.

Cavendish the Tropius (Nat- Lax). Her personality is like shes on autopilot, she gets shit done but shes sorta checked out. Shed much rather just stay home but she also got expensive tastes and shes not rich.

Alkaloid (Nat- Lonely): A gloomy lass that craves companionship. Shes not great at making connections to people which is fine for her position but really wants to have someone to click with. After she lost her eye she became even more distant with people. Shes rather fond of Doc though their relationship is rather one sided... her projecting some strange friendship on him because he cares for her and keeps her secrets... but hes a doctor and its kind of his job.

Blanco (Nat- Quirky): A vain dramatic ladies man. Is a skilled in his job (of course) but he hates when hes gotta tone back his extravagant life. After a long job he likes to surround himself with lively people and have some fun. He thinks he works VERY well with others and thinks himself a perfect partner.... most find him obnoxious and a lot have told him so... he just takes all criticism as jokes and lets it roll off him. If nothing else hes very positive!

Mistletoe (Nat- Serious): He seems cold and scary but hes a man of honor (for a guy who tortures people for a living anyway). He refuses to harm anyone weaker than him and is very caring of children and will step in if he sees some injustice if he can. Rouge agents, traitors,and shit like that though... hes ruthless and is very good at prying information out of them.  His hobby of developing new and dangerous poisons/chemicals are often tested on whoever hes toying with. ((He should have spots on the light red parts of his jacket... I forgot them IDK how OH WELL. I wanna tweak his costume a bit anyways. Vileplume colors are so bleh.))

Dust (Nat- Calm): Outwardly very charming but theyre not as sweet as they seem on the inside. Dust doesnt need to bring their victims in any kind of room to do their dirty work and prefers using their dust and psychic abilities to just mind fuck their victims into submission.

The Candyman the Alolan Muk (Nat- Quiet) is an annoyingly patient man and the perfect guy to call if you need to teach someone a lesson. If no one else can do it... THE CANDYMAN CAN. IDK what that Mr Mime did but he pissed Sickle off... Candyman has one weak point and thats his poor eyesight... and he’ll get very annoyed if you touch his glasses.

Doc gets a penpal.

BB Sparky helps Boat be a Pichu with the clever use of feathers and a pink marker.

Lees a hit with his mommas work friends.

Lee and his kids. (Sam and Sparky are his kids occasionally.) Hes a stronk boy but his health isnt the best... even Sam can feel a little guilty and worried when he causes trouble for his friend.

Alex is not an easy man to anger and hes very dangerous when hes angry but no matter how pissed off he is... just seeing Lee can sweep that all away. Alex can get away with a lot... but Lee still wont let him wear his preferred fighting attire. QQ so mean.

I revamped Boats friend Arcane. Hes a cop. ...he mostly hangs out with other dogs but also Boat. Nice guy, very righteous but also kind of a prideful asshole sometimes.

Ray revamp.

I made Sandy shiny because the black looked cool.

Some cops.

Another scientist

TAPUS!!!

Halos childhood friend turned criminal.

Stan and Davy fam!! Stans mum is a detective, his dad is a stay at home dad.

Davys mum is an ~*~ARTIST~*~ especially in fashion but shes flexible and creative... and very spontaneous and his dad is former military turned workhorse for his wife. Hes good at sewing with all his tentacles.

Although her desire to have a kid was random and ill thought out... they werent as awful at being parents as he thought.

Another Ray! Mega Manectric and Hebenon.

BB Pokemon Quest crew.

I forgot to add Ho-Oh Lugia

And the trios.

[bizarre-dollhouse]

My Top 10 Favourite Anime (And Why You Should Watch Them)

This is normally something I would put on my main blog, but I wanted to celebrate a follower milestone and also I know this will reach a significantly wider audience on this blog.

Consider this both a list of recommendations and a *get to know me* thing, I guess.

Honourable Mentions:

Bakemonogatari: A really stylized show about a semi vampire helping people with their supernatural afflictions born from emotional issues. The subsequent seasons get a little questionable, but this is definitely a standalone story with great dialogue and visuals. (15 eps)

Shiki: Creepy story about a small town infested with vampires. Really brutal and sick, but it has fascinating themes. The pacing is a bit slow and it has a kind of bad scene towards the end, but the show is 100% worth it. (24 eps)

Cardcaptor Sakura: Because this is mostly aimed at younger viewers, I would only really recommend this show for either magical girl fans, or people who watched the extremely altered dub as a kid. That being said, its a cute, fun show about magic with a likeable cast and surprisingly creative and original ideas, especially towards the latter half. (70 eps)

Jojos Bizarre Adventure 4: Diamond is Unbreakable: Full disclosure, I have not seen the first 3 jojo series, but its not necessary to enjoy this show. This is a super creative and really fun series about superpowered badasses in a strange city fighting each other and trying to solve a murder mystery in the background. Weird, but in the best way. (39 eps)

Kuroshitsuji: Book of Circus: This should be higher on the list, but in truth I would recommend the manga way over the show. But, if you want to watch a supernatural horror/comedy without reading a 138+ chapter manga, OR you were a fan of the original Black Butler seasons and want to see something way better, give this a watch. (10 eps)

*drumroll*

10. Trigun

So Trigun takes place is this old west, yet mysterious science fiction-y world where, through a bunch of complicated scenarios, a pacifist is the most wanted criminal known to man. Due to his status as a “natural disaster,” two insurance workers are tasked with reining him in to save their business. It’s an incredibly charming series, and the protagonist is really likeable. It’s extremely creative, funny, and emotional near the end. I do have some problems with the ending because it almost seems like the final conflict just...solves itself, but that’s a nitpick. The first episode is basically a short film, so give that a watch and see how you feel. (26 eps)

9. Paranoia Agent

This was directed by the late and great Satoshi Kon and has his usual themes about the blurring between fiction, dreams, and reality. It’s about a string of mysterious assaults committed by a kid with a baseball bat, and how these assaults seem to solve the problems of the victims. It’s very arthouse and has a twist that makes me ball my eyes out even though it’s not sad it’s just...odd and overwhelming. It drags a bit near the middle, but if you like kind of surreal stuff that’s also just really good, you have to watch this show. (13 eps)

8. Baby Steps

The amazing thing about this show is that its premise is specifically designed to make me hate it. It’s about a nerdy teenager who starts to play a sport for the sole sake of getting fit and having a more well rounded life style, and also he has a crush on this really popular girl. That sounds fucking awful, but the main character is actually really likeable (he reminds me a lot of Deku from BNHA) and I swear to fucking god every time I thought this show was going to do something awful and cliched with its romantic comedy plot, it doesn’t. The beauty and the geek trope is still there, but all of the bullshit that comes with it is omitted in a way I feel was kind of self-aware. The sports aspect is really good too: it’s well paced and there’s lots of tension even though the show as a whole is really upbeat and pleasant. I had a blast watching it, and if you can make it past the fact that is has god awful animation, give it a watch.

7. Higurashi: When They Cry

Yet another great show with absolute garbage animation. Anyways, this show is about a group of teenagers in a small town who are unknowingly trapped in a time loop. In each loop there’s a bunch of new mysteries, as well as some extremely brutal murders and tortures experienced my the main cast. I’ve seen a number of Western shows (Orphan Black, BBC Sherlock, Lost, Supernatural, etc.) fall apart because the writers want a really clever and intricate mystery to play out, but they don’t want to actually put the time into crafting one, so it’s just a bunch of cliffhangers with no answers or pay off. THIS SHOW SUCCEEDS AT WHAT ALL OF THOSE OTHER SHOWS FAIL AT. While not all of the answers are great (the second season isn’t as good) the original author somehow made the world’s most ludicrously complicated mystery story work, with a lot of it relying on the audience to put all of the pieces together even when the characters can’t. Its very clever in doing that: it makes its audience feel smart. It also has themes that don’t really show up in other horror stories, even though they’re incredibly relevant to fear and violence. Great show, go watch it. (50 eps)

6. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

Everyone knows about this show, everyone says it’s great, and everyone’s right. If you’ve been living under a rock for ten years: the show is about two brothers who break an alchemy taboo, which destroys their bodies, They’re on the hunt for something to restore them to normal and along the way they meet like 8990354578579 characters with interesting stories. It’s tightly written and really gripping. It’s fun, but also really dramatic and emotional when it needs to be. My only problems with it are that the ending is reaaaallllly convoluted, and there’s a minor plot point earlier on that gets weirdly dropped, but everyone kinda forgets about those things because the show’s so good. Also the brotherly bond makes me cry. (64 eps)

5. FLCL

I honestly don’t even know where to start with this show because it has the unique property of being the only show I have ever seen that I have literally no problems with. Not even nitpicks. There is nothing wrong with this show; it’s perfect. The only reason it’s not number 1 is because some other shows have more ideas or more fleshed out characters. So this arthouse spastic comedy is about a boy who is disappointed with all of the adults in his life, then some chick hits him in the face with a guitar and giant robots from a secret facility start coming out of his head. It’s fucking wild and has like 30 different aesthetics and I love all of them. It’s the best looking show I’ve ever seen and one of the best directed. It feels like someone read a really weird poem and turned it into a 6 episode show. It’s funny, it’s emotional, it’s cartoony, it’s beautiful, it’s raunchy, it’s poetic, it’s silly, it’s creative, and it’s got strong themes. The wtf visuals, the nonsensical plot, and the amazing soundtrack make an aesthetic experience more than anything. (6 eps)

4. Princess Tutu

I already made a post about this show and why it’s good, which you can check out here, but the gist is it’s a meta fairytale about a duck that turns into a girl to help a storybook prince find his emotions. I used to love stories that were “twists on fairytales” or whatever, but after watching this show I realized that the genre is pretty derivative. This show is so amazing it honestly made me reevaluate an entire genre and come to the conclusion that this is the only member of that genre worth watching. It’s truly creative and well crafted with fantastic characters. (26 eps)

3. Hunter x Hunter (2011)

This show is basically a bunch of creative ideas, unique set pieces, and interesting characters stacked on top of each other in a trench coat disguised as a narrative. It’s about a perky shonen protagonist and a child assassin becoming friends while also trying to become hunters (a position involving vast wealth and adventure). It’s in a modern fantasy setting so literally anything can happen. In one arc they have to play life-or-death dodgeball against robots, and another is an insanely epic tale about the intense evil that people are capable of (feat. a 25 episode climax). I can’t even talk about all of the themes or ideas because there are just too many. Because of it’s wild, sprawling story, it has a lot of ass pulls and retcons, but in the grand scheme of things they don’t really matter. It’s long, but super easy to watch in huge chunks. (148 eps)

2. Neon Genesis Evangelion and The End of Evangelion

The most efficient way to describe this show is to say that it’s the most interesting show ever made. It’s about an apocalyptic future in which emotionally disturbed teenagers must pilot giant bio-machines to fight monsters which are referred to as angels. It’s got deep characters, a creative story, and is probably the most well directed show I’ve ever seen. The ending infamously fell apart due to production problems, so there’s a movie called The End of Evangelion to conclude the story. It’s a very disturbing arthouse movie, so watch out for that, but the show as a whole is moooosssstly more straightforward and fascinating, This is an absolute must watch. (26 eps and 1 movie)

1. Baccano!

Baccano! takes place in 1930s New York, and is about thieves, gangsters, criminals, terrorists, alchemists, and immortals interacting in this nonlinear comedy/action thrill ride. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster while watching this show. It’s the perfect blend of action, comedy, romance, drama, horror, and creative storytelling. It’s fantastic to rewatch since the first episodes barely make any sense without context (but are still an absolute joy to watch). It’s got great characters and it’s a great story. Go watch it. And then watch it again. (13 eps and 3 OVAs)

That’s it for this list! Check out my MAL page for more recommendations if you’re interested and have a great night! 

[renaramblesaboutcomics]

Wednesday Roundup 25.10.2017

Reviews this week are going to be a little shorter than usual, but not to worry! I’m preparing to bring the Rambles to a whole new medium by launching a podcast in the very near future with the amazing @theeffar as a guest so that we can talk about her experience making comic strips for the US Airforce, future publication plans, and a decade plus of friendship with yours truly that can be traced back to a single comic.

But for today, we have a whole lineup of comics to dig into with lots of intrigue across the board. I hope everyone enjoys!

Marvel’s All-New Wolverine, IDW’s Ghostbusters: Answer the Call, Archie’s Jughead, Marvel’s Moon Girl and ?, Dark Horse’s Overwatch, Image’s Saga, IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Marvel’s All-New Wolverine (2015-present) #26 Tom Taylor, Juann Cabal, Nolan Woodard

I’ve said it many times before but it still holds true, I’m not a huge fan of diving deep and providing a big consensus in the middle of a storyline, and that is definitely true here where there were so many developments to the current Orphans of X story that Taylor is unfolding for us but also so much left to do. And that couldn’t be more clear than in the fact that we get the hints that Sarah is either knowingly or unknowingly an accomplice to the Orphans, or isn’t even Sarah at all.

My bets are on the latter because Sarah’s death being the status quo for Laura’s story is honestly something I’ve just accepted over the years, but man I would really be interested if Taylor broke expectations by actually allowing Sarah to be alive and a part of her daughters lives now, especially since he finally brought Debbie and Megan back into Laura’s life. ... One also has to wonder how nothing came up from Beast’s scans and medical exam of her but alright.

Another thing I really love is the fact that Daken and Laura act like... actual brother and sister? And are treated as such by everyone around them. There’s not a huge amount of canon supporting this interpretation of their relationship outside of Taylor’s run, but you can definitely argue that the seeds for this have been planted since their X-23/Daken crossover ages ago, and the fact that they do have so much in common and are so similar in so many respects. 

The medical stuff at the beginning, or rather the perversion of medicine that was the torture sequence Daken was going through at the start was incredibly difficult to watch, and the fact that his arm hasn’t grown back is super concerning to me, especially if there is strong hints that the same will possibly happen to Laura as the storyline continues.

There are a lot of stakes and I think, most importantly of all, there is just a lot of love for the relationships that Taylor has shown in the Wolverine family and I honestly just hope that he handles everything to do with these characters and Logan for the foreseeable future. I rarely get what I want in comics though so, here goes to me looking apprehensively toward Logan’s future resurrection with an “ugh”

This is also a small moment and not really a big part of the review overall, but the sequence I used above? Where Laura and Daken realize that they’re attacking each other and then have that fight of “Get in the car!” “No you get out of the car!” is just... so hysterical to me for so many reasons, but especially because it just sounds like siblings who can’t figure out who’s in charge.  I love it. 

IDW’s Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2017-present) #1 Kelly Thompson, Corin Howell, Valentina Pinto

I hadn’t realized it had been as long as it had been for me since I was reading a title that Kelly Thompson was on concurrently with it being released, and I have to say, given how strong of a first issue release Answer the Call ended up being, she’s a pretty perfect fit for this series. 

As I’ve said before, the ongoing Ghostbusters IDW universe is one of its longest running and seriously compelling series to date, using the original 80s movies as its baseboard while expanding into all collective universes and mythology to continue what are fascinating and enjoyable stories which sometimes even add debt to a lot of the characters who weren’t necessarily given it in the original two movies. Which is part of the reason I was so excited about Ghostbusters 101 and also why I was really hopeful about Answer the Call. 

One of my major critiques of the 2016 movie is that there were too many concepts with a lot of potential which ultimately weren’t utilized to their full expectations, which is why a comic series with the sort of IDW development and support is exactly what could have been useful to it. Especially where the character of Patty is concerned. And so far, it seems like Thompson is delivering, having put a lot of emphasis on Patty’s history background and her general knowledge and position in the group as the period expert for the ghost they encounter really having a more prominent role (i.e. allowed to have any role) in the comic. 

Thompson has a good sense of comical timing and Corin Howell’s art really helps emphasize that. So while I was initially bummed that the long time creative team was not going to be in charge of Answer the Call, I much prefer what we got which is a different taste, and a different universe, where the 2016 ladies are allowed to truly shine on their own with their own unique voices.  And that’s all thanks to Kelly Thompson.

Archie’s Jughead (2015-present) Vol. 3 Ryan North, Mark Waid, Ian Flynn, Derek Charm

I have actually been really supportive of the relaunch of the Archie comics, albeit mostly in theory since those things tend to be rather expensive, but I don’t think that it was ever fully appreciated by me until this volume of Jughead that I came into a full understanding of just why it seemed like Riverdale needed such a makeover to begin with. 

It also adds to my disdain for Riverdale but that’s a whole other subject.

The point is, the reason Archie comics have been such a force in American comics and, honestly, American culture as a whole for decades is because when my grandparents started reading, the nature of the comedy and relationships between all the kids from Riverdale was something like a modern morality play. Easily read, easily relatable daily situations of the All-American kids of the time who learne respect, love, and friendship from each other through zany and truthfully nonconventional lessons. 

There have been small, subtle modernizations to Archie over the years, from adding to the diversity of characters to allowing Betty and Veronica’s relationship outside of Archie to develop and at times even taken center stage, so having Kevin come out as openly gay. Archie has maintained a progressively changing outlook for American youth for a while, but at the end of the day the style and the roots of being a teenage romantic comedy from the “Greatest Generation” are not something that I can say I ever saw as more relatable and real than, say, a superhero. 

But this update of the last few years has allowed for a complete change in that. It’s not just that clothes and relationships have been updated, it’s that what moralities and what behaviors are being taught in this new and crazy time. Like Jughead learning about internet autonomy and general etiquette. 

It was a fun comic, and if you enjoy Jughead or Archie in general, you obviously should pick it up, but the real value for me this time around was rediscovering what made this particular “reboot” exactly the sort of thing I wanted to see.

Marvel’s Moon Girl and ? (2015-present) #24 Brandon Montclare, Natacha Bustos, Ray-Anthony Height, Dominike “Domo” Stanton, Michael Shelfer, Tamra Bonvillain

This issue of Moon Girl and... *gasp* Oh no! Devil’s no longer around!!!

So this issue is a collection of stories allowing lots of artists and writers to take a swing at dealing with Lunella in her heartbroken and honestly rather depressed time in attempting to find a replacement for Devil Dinosaur, her best friend who she finally acknowledges as such, and ultimately with deciding that she can’t replace him and will rather work solo after trying out a roster of fellow superheroes who leave something to be desired. 

This comic as always threads the needle perfectly of being for children (read: all ages) while being grounded in mature context and understanding of the world through the eyes of a super genius who is smarter beyond her years but still very much mature for her exact age. And I think that balance is perhaps on its best display here when allowing Lunella the true mark of what makes her character so realistic and believable: smart kids are more prone to anxieties, depression, and having difficulty relating to people, especially their own age. 

This is the first issue where none of Lunella’s supporting cast feature, and that’s such a genius choice because it emphasizes that loneliness and heartbreak she clearly feels, while still stuffing the book full of cameos and guest appearances from adults showing that she is not neglected or not being looked after.

I will someday express how important coloring has become to the mood and feel of comics in the modern era, specifically as rotating artists have become more and more prominent in bigger books and tighter production schedules, but once again Moon Girl proves to be one of the best if not the best in the business at understanding and really utilizing that feature. 

Dark Horse’s Overwatch (2016-present) #11 Matt Burns, James Waugh, Joe Ng, Espen Grundetjern

I cannot even begin to attempt to pretend that I understand how Dark Horse is choosing to release its issues of Overwatch through comixology, but then again that is making it sound like I ever understand Dark Horse’s publication practices particularly with digital media so the next three entries and how they aren’t... remotely chronological is just something we’ll all have to get through together, I guess. 

So I think of the three issues this one, which surprised me by showing up in my New Comics on Wednesday nearly a week after I had finished writing the reviews I had for issues .... #14 and 15.... even though this one is #11... This whole thing doesn’t make sense, moving on. 

In any case, of the Overwatch characters, it’s probably of the least surprise that I adore the adorable and tortured backstory robot because, well, I’m me, so my love of Bastion from his short to this comic release now and the environmental message that goes along with it all just makes me so genuinely happy to read, especially with the icredible art we see in this comic.

And I definitely was not expecting to have as much enjoyment and #feels from Torbjörn coming into the story and basically making the decision to become Bastion’s companion after they have a touching moment of bonding. 

This is just a short and sweet comic I really enjoyed and would recommend to those at least interested in trying out these Overwatch freebies. 

Dark Horse’s Overwatch (2016-present) #14 Robert Brooks, Miki Montilló

Just about any time a comic is free, even if it’s promotional material, I will give it a try, which is why I have been so pleasantly surprised by the Overwatch tie-in comics over the past year. And that’s with me having almost no experience in the game itself. I’m not really a fan of multiplayer or learning curves as it were, but as you know from this blog, I’m a huge fan of superheroes and an even larger fan of character-driven world building which is precisely what these comics provide. 

AND we got two separate ones with different creative teams!

I haven’t been swept up by the intense love that Overwatch fans seem to have for Junkrat and Roadhog, but I found this origin story for the both of them but mainly through Roadhog’s perspective to be absolutely fascinating. I still have qualms with how well a Mad Max-styled Australia really fits into the more technological and advanced world of Overwatch, but it does make a way for some pretty amazing visuals in this issue.

And I have to say, Miki Montilló is the real star of the issue because the style and just beauty the artist was able to find in the grungy and somewhat terrifying world of this post-apocolyptic wasteland is really inspiring. I’m definitely keeping an eye out for their name in the future.  

Dark Horse’s Overwatch (2016-present) #15 Andrew Robinson, Joelle Sellner, Kate Niemczyk

Despite as I said before about how I don’t really have much of a dog in the Overwatch fight, I love the character designs, especially the variety presented for the women. And one of my favorite characters aesthetically who has unfortunately not been given much in the way of cinematics and comic storylines has been Zarya. I absolutely love her.

I think the storyline for Zarya’s comic is a lot more inventive and pertinent to the world building, as well as speaks to Zarya’s character. It might seem a little cheap to have her be hateful/racist toward Ominics and then ultimately work alongside and befriend one, but sometimes the tried and true formulas work and personally I think that’s the case here. And I like that we are tying her in to the more “central” narrative that’s been going through all of these anxilary material by having her tied in with Sombra and the growing conspiracy of this world government. 

Also her hacker robot friend was adorbs and we all know how I love robots. 

I will say that the art didn’t feel as unique or mood centric as the previous issue, but at the same time that straight forwardness adds to the really straightforward narrative that was being told. 

So overall really enjoyable. I hope to see more features with Zarya as well as giving the other original heroes who haven’t received focus some attention. Like really, where’s our Lucioó story already?

Image’s Saga (2012-present) #48 Fiona Staples, Brian K. Vaughan

We’re running up against, once more, that difficult challenge of properly explaining why something that is just so universally good is beloved to begin with and that can’t be said enough with Saga. 

This wasn’t the strongest issue to go out on, but it gave us a lot more reason to relate to both Squire and Ghüs, characters we’ve really not had as much time with before now or have mostly related to through their relationships with other characters like Sir Robot. 

I’m still not entirely won over by the reporters but it is interesting to see how they still are exposed to the consequences that I know I forgot about an entire story arc ago at this point. And it’s interesting to have what feels like a narrative guilt for having not been aware or actively considering their lives and what their challenges were in that time because the consequences then felt like we were neglecting them as much as the main Saga crew had been as a result. Which is a nice narrative trick on Vaughan’s part.

Hazel’s narration is a welcome return after missing it from last issue, but it’s still fairly sparse. I’m just excited at the fact that Robot and Petrichor as well as Hazel and Squire are apparently going to have more relationship focus and development to come. That’s so promising.

As for Staples’ art? What can be said? She headlines the credits for a reason and there is no character design, no environment that I don’t love and find horrifyingly surreal all at once, and this issue is no exception. I’m so excited and fearful of what is to come, especially now that the Will is captured and going to be used to take another new foe directly to Alana and Marko’s doorstep.

IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2011-present) #75 Kevin, Eastman, Tom Waltz, Cory Smith, Mateus Santolouco, Chris Johnson, Ronda Pattison

What a landmark issue! 75 issues strong! The longest running, most expansive Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles property to date and it has reached a landmark issue far beyond, I think, anyone’s expectations. I genuinely could not be more grateful and more appreciative of this creative team, the love and hard work they have poured into this comic for over six years now without almost ever missing a release date, and especially for putting together this incredible, extra sized comic which ties up the current space opera and sends us right into the very next arc that I think I and many other turtle fans have been long awaiting: The Triceraton Wars.

In the upcoming podcast, I’m pretty sure that @theeffar and I will have quite a lot to talk about in regards to TMNT and our history with it, but when it comes to this series specifically I think the most outrageous and yet the most true compliment that can be offered to it is that somehow they were able to introduce elements which are common and looked forward to from all TMNT fans regardless of generation or preferred continuity, and not only seamlessly weave the elements together but manage to surprise us over and over again with the twists and turns.

Like who could have predicted that the Mirage dark and angsty Leatherhead, the 80s cartoon maniacal General Krang and suffering Dimension X Neutrinos, and the Triceraton Invasion as it was played out in the 2003 cartoon would not only play out the way it has here, but work together so perfectly that it’s unlike anything long time fans or new have seen before.

I’ve also talked about how this run of TMNT understands the multi-genre nature of having the four turtles and tie their development to particular genre storylines. This was held true as we got a lot of Don in this arc, especially Don operating outside of his brothers while the three of them worked with the Neutrino forces, and usually that would mean for the TMNT writers to move to a different genre and focal point for the next arc. But since we’re jumping right into a sci-fi storyline, but one completely opposite of the ones that Don has taken center stage in (this being a 1950s-esque Invasion movie), I wonder if we may just mix perspectives all the same. I think Raph’s been due for center stage and as we all know, he has Pepperoni to look after...

And those are the comics for this week! Did you happen to agree with me? Disagree? Think I missed out on picking up a comic that was good? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

But before I let you go, I have to (yes have to) plug once more:

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