#its for my new Serious Government Job which is pretty good

[faelapis]

so uhhh just moved to one of the most northern cities in norway. i now live in the actual arctic circle.

[theclampdown]

dump of scattered lad:iw thoughts because i have. a lot to say about the game. i have not proofread this at all. these r just my opinions please don't me mad at me lol

[IT WAS NOT GOOD]

im able to put up with a lot of stupid bullshit in media i like so its pretty impressive that this game pushed me to my limit in what im willing to let slide lmao

i do wanna say that i actually really did enjoy playing it though, i think it smoothed out a lot of what i found annoying about 7 (mostly the leveling system and skill jumps and stuff) and added a lot of new content. i did like the new map and i thought they did a pretty good job making it feel different than the other areas of the game. the battles felt very fun and were challenging but didnt ever really feel like a slog for me which is usually my biggest gripe with games that involve leveling like this but i had a good time! loved his fucking scooter. to be quite honest.

enjoyed the drink links and party chats and party bingo and stuff they were very silly but it was enjoyable! did really like the party members overall but ill talk on that in a sec

also ill say it ran much better on my shitty laptop than most of the recent games have which is definitely a bonus. my graphics for rgg7 were so fucking awful but i didnt have to change a single default setting for this one so idk i guess the only plusses for this one is that the gameplay rocked and they optimized their shit a lot better. like it genuinely was enjoyable to play

unfortunately the story was just dumb. i cant even say it sucked shit it just felt stupid.

the initial premise wasnt even bad tbh. ichiban and co get fucked over due to ~society~ or whatever and perceptions of ex-cons and such, coinciding with ichiban seeking out his mother since her identity was left pretty open ended in the last game. like not bad at all imo. idk how they fumbled it that bad. Actually i do know how. they just overshot it too much. they could have just kept it to something related to that like with the seiryu clan and ebina/hikawa whatever. that could have been interesting! unfortunately the tie in with whatever palekana was doing just turned the story in a completely other direction in a way that just didnt make sense? i just found that whole part of the plot shallow and difficult to suspend my disbelief about. and this is the same series that had the whole baseball betting and idol concert as a serious plot point in the 5th game so maybe my standards are too high but idk that actually felt meaningful even if it was stupid and silly. this just didnt make sense and felt too overblown. i think in general my problem with the series as of late is that its conflicts reach Too High and are Too Grand and concern world governments and massive schemes and shit in a way that takes away from anything actually interesting thematically.

in terms of character i actually did quite like tomizawa and chitose and i think they were good additions and balanced well with existing characters. at the same time though i feel like the game kind of forced their friendships with ichiban too early and it made it feel kind of flat. i also feel they lost the plot with tomizawa a tad as to Why he was even sticking with ichiban at a certain point (ie what stakes he had in the conflict after he got what he wanted out of dwight). but i did like him. i thought the rest of the party members from the last game all factored in pretty well otherwise and i VERY much enjoyed having seonhee as a party member this time she rocked and i think they made the right choice including her. And also her being bisexual?

sorry quick seonhee break. anyway. my beef with characterization otherwise was like 80% with kiryu. Personally i believe his ass shouldnt have been in any of the games after the 5th game at least because im a hater. if they were gonna kill him off to retire they shuold have let him retire in the 6th game and not come back. Okay fine they had to give him his stupid cameo in 7 but that was supposed to be him 'passing the torch' to ichiban and then he could go fuck off again. THERE WAS NO REASON FOR HIM TO BE A CENTRAL PLAYABLE PROTAGONIST IN ANOTHER GAME. LIKE EVER. GAIDEN ASIDE. THEYRE DRAGGING THIS MANS CORPSE AROUND THEY'RE WEEKEND AT BERNIES'ING HIM. on the one hand i was nostalgia baited by them intentionally making parallels to rgg1 and also the whole memoirs thing unfortunately because i see 1 mention of haruka and lose my mind. but if they were gonna make intentional parallels wrt lani and haruka then they should have put their whole pussies into it and leaned into it and explored it bc as it was it just felt shallow. the cancer thing was okay ig they did explore like why he was refusing treatment so much and him seemingly accepting his death while everyone around him was trying to drag him out of it but idk. it was just okay to me. but just with kiryu being there in general it was just so annoying because i specifically just want him to fucking retire. i dont care about him. every game for the past 4 games has made it out to be kiryus last and they keep bringing him back and its just tiring. i dont careeeee. will say takaya kuroda did another phenomenal job voicing him though. and the black shirt black slacks and belt was doing somehting for me. Who said that.

on the topic of lani and also akane i wish they would have explored that more since akane is half the premise as to why ichiban is stateside and they insisted on the paralel with haruka for lani. like i just felt like they got very little screentime when they were arguably pretty plot central characters. like why did they get less dialogue than like fucking yamai. i wish they would have explored akane and ichiban more specifically though that one cutscene of them actually talking was really sweet

SPEAKING OF YAMAI. in a vacuum i honestly did like him he was kind of funny and i respect him for his taste in women and his weird little ragtag syndicate. i feel like hes nishitani part 2 if nishitani was in literally any way enjoyable or likeable and not a piece of shit (wasnt there a nishitani in gaiden or something?) but i cant explain my thinking often. but the treatment of yamai and his syndicate vs wong tou and the ganzhe vs dwight and the barracudas jsut stood out to me as. particularly not good? yamai and co as the japanese group were portrayed as very sympathetic and were fully humanized and fleshed out. wong tou was characterized decently well i think and was given a point of sympathy with his son and like literally everyone betraying him. but was also killed pretty quickly and the ganzhe otherwise were portrayed as just being infallibly loyal to bryce. and the barracudas and dwight were portrayed with no nuance whatsoever and were arguably seen as the most violent of the three organizations. which tbh i think definitely has something to do with the barracudas being largely Black and brown otherwise (its noted in narration that they consisted of all nationalities and ethnicities but in practice in the game most of their models seemed to be men of color). because rgg studios has shown its ass time and time again to be generally racist and colorist and nationalist. that really stuck out to me throughout the game tbh

i dont want to speak on this as much just because i dont want to talk out of my ass but it also gave me a bad taste in my mouth that the big evil cult palekana utilized indigenous hawaiian religion and language but was also run by a white guy. also was not a fan of some of the job options such as 'fetishized depiction of a hula dancer that resulted from american tourism and imperialism' and such. was just not good.

side note i just thought the whole palekana brainwashing cult deal was stupid it was just dumb. not in a fun way. maybe thats just me being a hater but it was just STUPID and far fetched. it was like the part in rgg5 (sorry to always bring up rgg5 but actually im not sorry because it was a good game) where it revealed that there never was a nagoya family and everyone was fucking with shinada specifically. which was silly then but this was just worse. it didnt really make bryce any more formidable or hateable as a protagonist it just fell short in any of their efforts to make it believable and to raise the stakes in my humble opinion.

the daigo and saejima and majima tie in was also jsut kind of stupid. I just cannot believe they would have ended up in a fishing shack like that. Saejima definitely i would see him fucking off somewhere like that. but i just dont see how daigo or majima would end up there man it just doesnt make sense. i thought their goodbye in rgg7 was kind of dumb and if the game leaned more into the struggles of being an ex yakuza or ex con trying to reintegrate into a society that wants nothing to do with that, maybe their story could have been more interesting! unfortunately the game went another direction and their inclusion felt stupif and it just felt bastardizing of these characters that have also kind of been weekend at bernies'd for the last few games. I just cant see daigo being there. Daigo wheres your fucking mom. Can you call her. She misses you. Shave that ugly beard. Just leave the damn country at that point all of you.

this is not a problem unique to this game but i hate how allergic they are to making these characters look their age. i appreciated that they made kiryus hair gray but his haircut was stupid though tbh he looked quite nice when he put it back up at the end and looked probably closer to his actual age. saejima and daigo were pretty okay. WHY IS MAJIMA ALWAYS SO DAMN SMOOTH i know hes been doing like coke since the 80s he literally should not be looking like that. actually did love the part where they were support party members in the finale sequence though it was just really fun. but they shuoldnt have been there at all. All of you go retire.

in terms of the finale honestly ebina/hikawa was kind of right tbh. and i think the game wanted me to agree with him in a sense? he was right to hate arakawa these games will never make me like these deadbeat father figures (except genda he ruled) but what i didnt agree with was kiryus whole... deal at the end. i dont know. i dont think he was ever wrong for fucking off out of the tojo clan and i definitely dont thing he was wrong for not taking on the responsibility of chairman and trying to 'change things' or something like its not literally a massive criminal organization. wasnt a big point of this game that people should be allowed to leave the criminal life and reintegrate in society? so why should the game be blaming kiryu for fucking off from being chairman in the first game to do exactly that. we COULD be blaming him for never actually cutting ties with the tojo clan fully and always having one foot on each side and not ever doing much but trying to maintain the status quo through that rather than change anything. which honestly would make much more sense than blaming him for not trying to do anything as chairman. but i digress. i guess. wild that this was like one of 4 or 5 times that this man has ever cried on screen and its him cradling another man on the floor and then passing out.

the fact that they didnt have the haruka reunion on screen is criminal i was so fucking MAD. they HATE ME SPECIFICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

and the ending with eiji made no sense to me in a lot of ways. that was the major part of the plot that they didnt wrap up very well besides just having his ass go to jail -what for? collaborating with the yakuza? that wasnt clear to me. i get it that they were trying to show how manipulating or releasing information can sway public opinion very easily. but how did he grow his hair and beard that quick how much damn time had passed??? is that a nitpick? maybe. i did just have to go on the wiki for a plot summary about him if that shows how it was kind of unclear how he ended up in that position. but also tbf i am usually having to go on wikis after i finish rgg games because im stupid and these games are annoyingly complicated. #1 media understanderrrr

with eiji otherwise he was an okay twist villain but the wheelchair thing was just stupid.

why bring back sawashiro anyway i truly didnt see a point to it. i dont think it needed to have been him at all in that role it could have been any other new game character. Did like how everybody took every opportunity they could to dunk on him though

in general the theme wrt atonement and doing over. on the one hand i always believe you get a second chance and i think the 7th game already did a good job showing it with ichi and co. but i always am annoyed that their insistence on atonement must be done through the legal system because im a communist but also in-universe its stupid because of how often theyve shown that the legal system is innefficient and corrupt and i know theyre never gonna challenge the status quo like that bc theyre a generally reactionary series overall but like. its annoying. im over it. im not. anyways back to the theme of atonement i dont think its really bad at all but the rest of the game didnt make me feel anything enough for it to mean something.

liked that the theme of friendship was once again so prominent though and that the cast was dragging kiryu out of being a lone wolf kicking and screaming. did make me smile admittedly. the whole thing with saeko. honestly i was willing to just let it happen after a certain point ichiban is allowed to be happy i guess . the ending was just. i dont know. it would have been silly on its own but after the trainwreck of the rest of the game i was just sitting there like. ._. they hate on my man ichiban for his communication styles and his comprehension of directions and subtleties i guess. though they were right to criticize his stupid ass proposal lmao

sorry i forgot about this point earlier but the whole seiryu clan -> bleach japan thing was also fucking stupid and i found it very diffiuclt to suspend my disbelief for that ie i did not. it was just out of left field and lame and didnt really fit in well with the message of atonement I DONT KNOW like i dont care about believability in a lot of ways their machine gunning the millenium tower again theyre always blowing shit up and doing silly action movie stuff i dont care about that. their plot point choices just tend to be stupid.

side note. the kashiwagi and kiryu initial conversation was genuinely so fucking funny. their more genuine conversation made me tear up actually. sniffle. theyre brothers.

i think im running out of steam here i think i hit all my major points that i didnt like in the game. tldr it was very forced and many of its plotpoints werent believable, and it lacked direction and a strong message in the end, and it bastardized a lot of recurring characters and generally was very flat emotionally. was fun to actually play but it was just stupid.

they could never make me hate you ichiban.

screenies dump

whatever. everyone play rgg5

shinada palate cleanser

[thelogicalghost]

@crimsoncistern had some replies and my thoughts were too long for the reply box SO

I absolutely admit I've never played the games (though I'm about to try). I'm genuinely interested in the defenses for this worldbuilding and I'd be interested in recommendations for good fan theory videos that address the worldbuilding in particular.

That being said, I think your argument is exactly the kind of logic that makes sense until you examine the actual 50's and why that sense of control and stagnation didn't last in our history.

It's tempting to think of big events like McCarthyism as an overwhelming cultural monolith, where any dissent was only in hushed whispers in the shadows, but that's just not accurate. President Truman was a very firm opponent of Red Scare ideology and a lot of noted centrist and even conservative voices of the day publicly stated their disagreement. Persecuting a group for their thoughts is, after all, not in keeping with our Bill of Rights and our highly-valued freedoms of speech and belief.

Also, complete cultural stagnation almost always relies on very serious isolation, and while the diehard conservatives of the 50's were happy to ignore outside influences, the American Melting Pot had already done its job on everyone else. Jazz was here to stay, Rock and Roll was exploding, TV was showing images from around the world, and most important of all, classrooms and army units were being desegregated.

It's also worth remembering that conservative nostalgia comes with its own rose-tinted glasses (like most extreme ideologies, I say, being pretty far left and recognizing my own biases). Modern conservatives bemoan taxation even though their golden era was a time of considerably higher income taxes and government spending. 50's idolization usually doesn't include the horrors of the Korean War or the violence of the Civil Rights movement.

Nostalgia and retro fads also don't stay accurate to their source material for over a century. The modern equivalent for us isn't people cosplaying the 50's, it would be a collective return to 1910. Hell, the iconic Model T Ford only debuted in 1908. The distance, chronologically, between the people of 2077 and the cultural era they're "stuck" in is as far away from them as we are from the Wright brothers.

Related: no one on 2024 is drinking industrial alcohol because "that was the cool thing in 1924." Similarly, I don't believe the use of radioactive energy - even if it remained the only significant source of power - would have taken the same forms. We found out about the dangers of radiation due to time and accidents, and using more atomic power more widely for a century would have only made its dangers more visible. I think the backlash against reactors as an energy source would have in fact been bigger, and the companies relying on atomic energy would have been pressured to find new solutions and develop different technology. Not necessarily *our* modern microchip technology, but something new.

All of which is to say that no, the 1950's could never have lasted. The suburban conservative fantasy was never going to stand the test of time.

okay someone needs to fucking explain Fallout worldbuilding to me

OKAY SO

I'm a writer and my friends and I get maybe a little obsessed with worldbuilding. Like, famously had a three hour heated argument over theoretical Chinese empirical expansion, obsessed. So I tend to think a lot about worldbuilding when I interact with fiction.

I never played the Fallout games as a kid, I know, sue me, but there was cultural osmosis cause I'm still a video game nerd who hangs out with other video game nerds. So I understood that Fallout takes place in a post-nuclear-MAD world with a 50's aesthetic. You get some scifi elements but it's all that old "classic" scifi stuff like robot butlers.

I assumed, therefore, that the Fallout series takes place in an alternate universe where the Cold War went hot. At the most, maybe it was, like 1975? And the people who designed the Vault stuff were just Old and liked The Good Old Days.

So I was watching the new TV show with my husband when he says, casually, that in Fallout, the nuclear apocalypse happened in 2070.

2070!?!?!?!?!?!?????????

According to the Fallout universe, technology just ... went in a different direction after the Space Race, with little to no improvement in communications (so no cable TV or fax machines or internet) but had other big developments, like putting a colony on the Moon, and a lot of biomedical research, and robots with varying levels of AI.

This is absolutely bonkers.

But imo what's worse is the idea that culture either completely stagnated for over a century, or we hit a period of regression/nostalgia so hard it was virtually indistinguishable from that earlier time.

I'm sorry, but Fallout writers, what the actual fuck?!?

Let me list some of the immediately problems I see with this:

If you're saying all the scientists on earth focused entirely on robotics and medical technology, that STILL. DOES NOT. COVER. 120 YEARS. OF DEVELOPMENT. Especially in a modern fictional context!!!

Technological advancements drive cultural change, which drives technology. Even if we didn't get smartphones, there were changes, and even the most heavily nostalgic conservatives are not going to be the same now as they were 120 years ago. They might be worse, but still, they're going to be different.

Not to mention the culture that built the Vaults is one that's been living in a state of perpetual Cold War for multiple generations. They may be nostalgic for post-WWII picket fences, but that wistfulness is going to feel incredibly different than the relentless optimism that's at the core of the 1950's aesthetic.

This is also absolutely the wrong time period to pick if you're arbitrarily going to decide modern communication methods were never invented. The Cold War was a critical factor in the need for improved security of classified communication, as well as the quality and accessibility of propaganda. IMO a USA that never left the Cold War would have building-sized TV screen billboard ads before the personal home computer.

(funny enough the boom for chemical and biochemical science was already over at this point. There's a saying that WWI was the Chemists' War, and WWII was the Physicists' War, and that's very reflective of where innovators were looking, where funding was going, and thus, what technologies were being developed.)

The weirdest thing about all of this to me is that this is so atypical of all the genres Fallout is leaning on. The 1940's scifi aesthetic at the core of this concept is optimistic exactly because it came before the existential dread of the Cold War; it was that dread, in part, that punctured the post-war dream. Steampunk settings sometimes leap forward a century or two without technological advancement, but the cultural setting of Victorian England is very different and it's plausible that if ideas of the era like "aether" had been proven true, technology would have developed very differently. Then newer genres like Cyberpunk, the ones that came during and after the Cold War, almost always demonstrate how cultures have influenced each other, because the authors of the developing scifi genre had started to realize the future would be shaped by more than just ray guns and spaceships.

So yeah, it absolutely boggles my mind that this is a choice the Fallout writers made and have stuck to faithfully.

[radellama]

oh i almost forgot. DO LEON AND WESKER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE also ayla for fun

Leon S. Kennedy

First impression

Ayo… He's hot…

Impression now

Ayo… He's REALLY hot…

Favorite moment

Hmm… I don't feel like I can pick a real favourite so. Take this one scene that I love a lot

Idea for a story

Serious or silly?? I would love to write a story about Raccoon City and life there, but if the zombie outbreak didn't happen and Leon joins the RPD. And it's all normal boring nice stuff. You know me, I love the boring stuff…

For something more serious tho, I think it'd be cool to write something about Leon between the events of 2 and 4, how he was essentially held hostage by the government so that he could keep Sherry safe, how he starts to get more jaded as he also becomes more competent… that'd be pretty cool…

Unpopular opinion

Um? Leon dyed his hair blonde, he's naturally a brunette. Re2make he got it freshly done for his new job at RC, RE4 he hasn't had time to touch up his roots, and by RE6 he's given up :P

Favorite relationship

HIM AND ADAAAAA. ITS MYSTERY ITS INTRIGUE ITS BETRAYAL ITS SECOND CHANCES ITS MORALLY GREY ITS VARYING LEVELS OF EXPERIENCE ITS SECRECY ITS MUTUAL RESPECT ITS MUTUAL RESERVEDNESS ITS HOT ITS SEXY!! 

I know a lot of people don't like him with Ada in a romantic way cause the dynamic is interesting, but I think it's great, romantic or not. A lot don't seem to like how Ada used him in re2, but I don't think it's that bad, and its soooo good seeing how their relationship grows more complicated as it progresses… its just good and I like it >:) Maybe Ada/Leon is my unpopular opinion lol

Favorite headcanon

Even when he's dilf mode and so so jaded by all the shit he's been through, he will always be that rookie cop that just wants to help people… Despite having to go through shit over and over again, and he get so tired he loses his passion for it and just wants to give up… deep down he will still try to do the right thing, which is why he keeps on fighting.

//

Albert Wesker

First impression

>:)

Impression now

I LOVE THIS STUPID BITCH SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I UNDERSTAND HIM, I SEE AND PERCEIVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Favorite moment

Tie between this and this (<- the first 20 seconds or so, that line cracks me up and I spent a good 20 mins dicking around to make Wesker do the gay little twirls on my first playthrough just like that)

Idea for a story

OK SO. I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER. I HAVE A GREAT IDEA ON HOW TO FUCKING MAKE ONE (1) GOOD ADDITION TO THE PITIFUL RESI SCREEN LEGACY. LET ME MAKE A WESKER TV SERIES!!!

Starting with Project W and his days training under umbrella. learn all about him and get to see his honestly tragic backstory unfold as you follow him into his eventual shift into STARS and his betrayals… Mystery, drama, thriller, suspence, everything you'd fucking want to see shit go down. LIKE!?? WESKER PREQUEL SERIES YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT AND YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME TO BE MAKING IT!

Unpopular opinion

While I fucking enjoy the re5 Wesker so so much… he was such a characature and the end of that game…. Not worth it. I don't know if honestly he should've stayed a more lowkey 'background' villain or what, cause I like his 'powers,' but capcom didn't really know what to do with him and handled him pretty poorly tbh!! (Like they've been poorly handling most the main cast tbhhh!!!!!) Maybe he should've stayed dead the first time!?

Favorite relationship

Him and Chris. They hate each other so much that it gets fucking ridiculous. Imagine having fucking powers from viruses and shit and this guy who used to work under you gets super fucking jacked just so he can punch you, and he becomes an almost equal match to you just to get in your way? Just manly men things

Favorite headcanon

While he's always had his own interests at the forefront of his mind, he used to care a bit more about others around him when he was younger. I think he genuinely cared about his future as a virologist, and that he came to really care about William Birkin when they were training together. But when he found out more about himself, and Umbrella, he slowly began to shift… He locked himself out mentally and became more self centred as his hatred boiled on inside of him, and he was fully ready to throw everything away for whatever was in his best interest. I don't think he cared all that much about STARS, or maybe he did and it made him feel conflicted, so he stayed distant on purpose. After his first 'death,' it all just snapped into place. He struggled to find reasons to hold on to his previous mindsets, and I bet after finding out what happened to Willy B, he didn't want to try anymore. The world was his, and it was almost time to become god.

//

Ayla

First impression

OOOH STRONG LADY!?

Impression now

SHE IS SO FUCKING BRILLIANT AND UNDERRATED I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH!!!

Favorite moment

Honestly? A tie between her iconic 'Win and live. Lose and die. Rule of life. No change rule' line and her REAL CAVEMAN PARTY that included a BINGE DRINKING COMPETITION AGAINST A SPUNKY TEENAGER

Idea for a story

I would honestly like to write something that explores her being chief; what that means to her, to her people, to her enemies. What it took to rise to power that way, the stresses she's under to keep the respect of her people, diplomatic tensions between Ioka and Laruba since they're on almost opposite ends of the spectrum in the way they live life. What is it really like to be Ayla, chief of Ioka?

Unpopular opinion

AYLA IS FUCKING SMART. ITS NOT AN OPINION, IT IS A FACT. SHE IS NOT ONLY ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH TIME TRAVEL ADVENTURES AND FIGHT ALONGSIDE EVERYONE WITH NO WEAPON OTHER THAN HER FISTS, BUT SHE IS DOING SO ALL IN A SECOND LANGUAGE. SHE IS INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT, AND HER BEING STRONG AND SEXY SHOULDN'T NEGATE THAT FACT.

Favorite relationship

It's a three way tie between all the millennial trio. Her with Chrono? Fucking bros they are best buds they get up to all kinds of shit and challenge each other to be better and stronger and have so much fun getting up to shit together.

Her with Lucca? Amazing homoerotic brilliant so fucking good. They could have in depth conversations about whatever intellectual bullshit they wanted all night and still be discussing ideologies past sunrise. And look. Potential for lesbianism is off the fucking charts they'd be the most girlfriend ever they are so smart and beautiful they'd be unstoppable…

Her with Marle? Such a cute friendship, she would be so happy to be the older girl friend Marle needs in her life, and would enjoy Marle being the younger girl friend she needs in her own life. Like, just talking about life and boys and their bodies and politics and everything… nothing is taboo between them, they could be so open and share such a beautiful kinship because there is just SO MUCH they can relate with each other to.

Favorite headcanon

It's not so much hc as it is a fact that people forget… but AYLA IS SPEAKING IN HER SECOND LANGUAGE. By the way it's implied, the reptite tongue is what became 'English' for the future humans, she literally names Lavos after the word for fire in her language. ALSO to build upon that, when she talks to the Laruban tribe elder, they're both conversing in the reptite-english, which implies that Ioka and Laruba both have their own languages, and they talk in reptite-english to communicate. Like!? SHE'S SO FUCKING SMART!!???

[arctimon]

By the Grace of Granville

(Warning: This post is long.  But what else is new when it comes to character analyses?)

One of the bigger mysteries that gets introduced into Big Hero 6: The Series made their introduction in the very first episode, got a little bit of expansion into their background, and then didn’t really see much daylight for the rest of the series sand her becoming an even-numbered wheel. No, I’m not talking about Obake.

I’m talking about Professor Granville, the newly-installed dean of the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology.

People, including myself, play Granville up as some sort of Nick Fury-esque figure.  She’s always in the know, gives advice to the team, and seems to have a general understanding of everything at once.

This is further helped by the fact that we don’t know a lot about what she has been up to since she resigned after Obake’s accident. It’s hindered by the fact that there may be some misinformation going on at the Big Hero 6 Wiki.

Here’s the introductory blurb for Professor Granville on her page:

Grace Granville has been a professor at the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology for at least 20 years, having taught Wendy Wower and Trevor Trengrove among other modern day geniuses.

She used to teach robotics and had her own star student, Bob Aken, but once he began an experiment to build an energy amplifier, it went awry as the amplifier exploded on his face, the result of which sent him to the hospital.

Though Bob survived, Granville felt extreme guilt from the incident and resigned. However, she kept the remains of the amplifier, possibly unaware that it still worked, as a reminder to not repeat the same mistakes.

She would return decades later to teach thermodynamics when Robert Callaghan, the dean of the institute at the time, was thought to have died, then resurfaced as the villain Yokai and was arrested for putting San Fransokyo in danger. Professor Granville became the college's new dean as she settled into her new role quite well. Now, after rewatching “Mini-Max”, I call into question the very first part that she’s been a professor there for at least 20 years.  As far as I am aware of, that has never been said or confirmed in the show.  She said herself (and the yearbook and Callaghan confirm this) that she worked there 20 years ago.  That’s not the same thing.  Working there for 20 years is not the same thing as being there 20 years ago.  So is that a discrepancy or am I the one who doesn’t remember things correctly?

And let’s go to what Callaghan said about the incident when Hiro went to visit him in prison in “Mini-Max”:

Robert: “She was in the lab after hours.  Something went wrong.  There was...an incident.”

Hiro:  “What kind of incident?” Robert: ”Officially, a pipe burst.  But there were rumors.  An unsanctioned project gone wrong.” Hiro:  ”So she was fired?”

Robert: “She resigned.  The matter was not pursued further.  That’s all I know.” OK, first of all...was Callaghan not the dean twenty years ago?  And even if he wasn’t...

Does anyone think that was caused by a simple burst pipe?  What was in said pipe?  Lava?  TNT?  Mentos and Coke?

That leads to the second possibility: Callaghan was Dean at the time, knew about it, and “pushed” Granville to resign to avoid a messy lawsuit.

But we’re getting away from the original point, which is...what exactly has Granville been doing this entire time? I find it hard to believe that Granville was still at the school when Tadashi, Go Go, Honey Lemon, and Wasabi were there.  You’d think that one of them would have said something about it, and all through the conversations in “Mini-Max” gave no indication of that as well.

So she’s been gone for twenty years (presumably).  Which begs the next question... Why did she have to become the dean? Endangering a student’s life is a very serious thing.  Something like that can’t be just forgiven.  So, why did it have to be her? It’s not like there’s not other candidates:

(From left to right: Monica Rambeau [one of the Physics professors], Grace Granville, Robert Callaghan, Linda Carter, and Timothy Dugan.  Note that these are merely names I’ve given them based off of who I think they are and not canon names.  However, for the sake of simplicity, I will refer to them as such from here on out.) Monica might have been a good replacement.  Linda’s just the nurse, so unlikely.  Dugan’s the Dean of Athletics, so probably not.  The dean doesn’t have to be the robotics professor, right?  Granville teaches Thermodynamics. And then you have Professor Kameela from the comics, who appears to be another Physics professor:

So why her?

Granville’s been out of the game, as far as we know, for a long time.  Did the board at SFIT really have no other options other than Granville?  Why give the top job to someone who hasn’t even stepped foot in SFIT for decades?

And the worst part is that I don’t really have a good answer for that.  The show delves into Granville’s history with Obake a lot and not enough into her actual history with SFIT, so that part is pretty much an unsolved mystery.

And if the info on the Wiki is true, then that means...what?  Granville was teaching for 20 years, and then took a 20 year break.  Wouldn’t that put Granville in her 60s, at minimum? (She looks pretty good for possibly being in her 60s.  Maybe she got some Infinity Formula from her possible Marvel counterpart.)

I think it’s much more possible that she’s in her early 50s.  That gives her enough time to be a professor, have an actual working history, and then have to leave with Obake’s accident. So my personal timeline for her career would be something like this.  For the sake of being simple, let’s assume that Granville is an even 50, and also that Big Hero 6 the movie takes place in the year 2031 (as per movie screenshots):

1981 - Grace Gretchen Granville is born 2002 - Graduates college (perhaps at SFIT; haven’t thought that far ahead) Sometime between 2002 and 2004 - Granville begins her work at [Redacted] 2005 - Granville become a TA in the Thermodynamics department (as per Highway to Hell Chapter 2, “In The Details”) 2006 to 2007 - Given government assignment to [SORT OF Redacted] 2007 - Returns to SFIT 2007 to 2011 - Becomes thermodynamics professor at SFIT; continues periodic work at [Redacted] 2011 - Obake’s accident; Granville resigns from SFIT 2011 to 2013 - Takes a position with [SUPER Redacted] in Symkaria 2013 - Returns stateside and [Redacted] 2013 to 2031 - Various jobs and positions, including start-up at Fathom Blue Incorporated and a instructor at the San Fransokyo Police Academy with Sara Pezzini 2031 (Current Time) - Granville becomes Dean at SFIT (Keep in mind that this is a sliding timeline which is subject to change.  Probably.) Man, that’s a lot of redacted information.  It’s almost like she worked for a secret government organization and did a lot of things that aren’t on the public record or something.

I am going to delve into Granville’s history in future stories, and that will include something that I’ve done a fanart on. Mainly this:

The Wakanda story is going to happen at some point, and it’s going to involve one of the redacted items above (from 2002 - 2003).  What exactly she was doing there is going to stay secret for a little bit. Speaking of which, I had done research on a few pieces of Wakandan technology.  Guess which one I found of particular interest.

The Kimoyo Beads.  A bracelet given to every single Wakandan citizen that stores all of their medical information and serves as an everyday tool for them. It also notes that it doesn’t work outside of Wakanda because of its reliance on tapping into Vibranium as a power source.

Now, what would happen if a very realistic version of Vibranium were to find its way out of the country and into Granville’s orbit?

I wonder if her bracelet would start working again. Mysteries abound when it comes to Grace Granville.  If we’re lucky, maybe we’ll solve a few of them before too long.

[belizedeservesbetter]

Rob McClure is Coming For the Tony, or, Mrs. Doubtfire Takes a Lot of Big Swings and Hits About Half of Them

honestly and truly this show has so much potential and so much heart 

During intermission at Mrs. Doubtfire when I was reading through my playbill, I noticed that a decent amount of the cast was also in Something Rotten!, which was on Broadway almost ten years ago now. The music had also sounded very Something Rotten!-esque, which I soon realized was because the same team who did that musical - Wayne and Karey Kirkpatrick and John O’Farrell - also did this one. And I had the same thought about Something Rotten! as I do Mrs. Doubtfire, which is this musical is bursting at the seams with potential and hits all the comedy notes (almost) perfectly while failing at any attempt of a serious moment or anything having to deal too heavily with a serious moment.

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Quick SPOILER warning but it’s also a movie that I assume everyone has seen but if you haven’t, here’s a quick plot summary: 

Actor Daniel Hillard is too fun and too easygoing and too childish for his wife Miranda (even though his kids adore him and he adores them) so she divorced him and gets sole custody of the kids because he doesn’t have a job. After he learns that she is hiring a nanny to watch the kids during the day, Daniel disguises himself as Mrs. Doubtfire, an old Scottish woman who is perfect with the kids... maybe a little too perfect.

Anyways. 

The music is passable and I don’t really remember any of the songs, even though I only just saw it. There was one really catchy song which I’ve been mentally referring to as “The Makeover Song” where Daniel becomes Mrs. Doubtfire, and honestly it was the best song in the show and they need to use it as their Tony performance. The other song I remember is featured in a nightmare sequence, but I’ll get back to this one later.

The book is also decent, with most of the jokes hitting. I laughed a lot and when things are more lighthearted the writing is also smarter. For lack of a better phrase, when Daniel/Mrs. Doubtfire are getting to do their thing, the show feels more fluid and natural.

However, as soon as Daniel is forced to face any consequence for his actions the book just... falls apart completely. It is very clear the writers think Daniel is in the right here and are very chill with a man who dresses up as an old Scottish woman and deceives his whole family as a way to connect with his kids. When it’s revealed to Miranda that Mrs. Doubtfire was Daniel all along, there’s a brief song/courtroom scene (that Miranda isn’t even in!) and then a scene where Miranda is basically like “yeah he manipulated me and the kids but he’s not a deadbeat dad so I guess it’s fine.” 

That is actually literally what happens. A government worker lady is literally like “well at least he loves his kids and isn’t abusive/neglectful/a deadbeat dad!” and Miranda is like “wow you’re so right” and then she automatically forgives Daniel for deceiving her for three months by pretending to be an old Scottish woman (facial prosthetic and all) and lets him be the kids’ new nanny. 

Actually everything having to do with Miranda is pretty terrible in the show, but I’ll get back to her.

What I really want to talk about is Rob McClure, who plays Daniel. 

He is an absolute star.

This is his show and he knows it. Mrs. Doubtfire, in its best moments, lets McClure have the stage (either solo or with only one/two other people) and lets him have fun. He has so many monologues and moments where he gets sing, tap dance, do voices, rap (which I didn’t expect) and absolutely shine as a comedy star. He is sensational in this show and I’m already counting on him to win The Tony. McClure could’ve easily just done a good Robin Williams impression and called it a day but he really makes this character his own. 

He is the absolute best part of this show and is the reason to see it. He carries this show on his back and is living his very best life in it. He even somehow finds a way to emote through that rubber Mrs. Doubtfire mask which would’ve taken out a lesser actor. 

I hope everyone is singing his praises when this show officially opens because McClure deserves it. And even though the ~ more serious ~ material was poorly written, he still breathed life into it. He is forced to sing a shitty song with Lydia about being a dad and even though the song sucked, he was fantastic and made it bearable. When jotting out my notes for this review, most of them are “Rob McClure amazing” 

Also amazing is Brad Oscar, who plays Daniel’s brother Frank and J. Harrison Ghee, who plays Andre (Frank’s husband). They were both really fantastic and I wish we had them more in the show. They’re there for a decent amount of Act One and then mostly disappear in Act Two which is a shame because they were both hilarious and brought so much life and energy to the show. 

I also really enjoyed Peter Bartlett as Mr. Jolly, who had the absolute weirdest energy that had me laughing anytime he was onstage. I don’t know what it was about him/his character but it was hysterical! Also kudos to Jodi Kimura who played Janet Lundy. She was also an absolute riot. 

And then there’s that stunning David Korins set design. Ya’ll, this set was beautiful. They do this thing with the San Francisco skyline and the painted lady houses (aka the Full House houses) that is absolutely gorgeous to look at. 

I guess what it comes down to is that Act One is absolutely stellar, but Act Two is pretty bad. 

Let’s break it down in terms of what isn’t good about this show. 

1. The Mrs. Doubtfire rubber mask is both hideous and horrifying. How? Why? Who approved this? 

2. Miranda Sucks 

The show very clearly doesn’t care about her as she has the worst songs, the worst lines, and absolutely no character growth. She is so bland and so boring and you can tell that the show had no idea what to do with her. Unfortunately, Jenn Gambatese is pretty bad in the role too. She acts like she’s doing a soap opera and I wanted all of her scenes to be over as soon as possible.

3. Lydia is Confused

The show didn’t know what to do with Miranda and the show doesn’t know what to do with Lydia (aka Daniel’s eldest daughter) either. Lydia sings the first notes in the show, which has to do with how she feels like she has to be a parent because her mom is always working and her dad acts too much like a kid. This is quickly followed by a scene where she is in very clear conflict with her dad. However, this is immediately followed by her singing a song about how she doesn’t want a nanny and wants her dad to babysit them instead. It’s a very angry song and judging by the lyrics in the chorus I think it might be called “Hell No.” BUT THEN in the very next scene after Mrs. Doubtfire cooks dinner she’s all “nevermind I think you’re amazing, Mrs. Doubtfire” and then at the end she has another moment where she hates her dad and then they sing a song and they’re fine again. It’s hard to track where she grows and changes and she feels almost too sporadically written, almost like someone different wrote each of her scenes. Analise Scarpaci, who plays Lydia, isn’t great either. 

2.5. A Note on The Kids 

I kinda feel bad for Analise Scarpaci (Lydia), Jake Ryan Flynn (Christopher), and Avery Sell (Natalie) because they all clearly had a big growth spurt during the 18 months Broadway shut down (especially Flynn) and not a single one of them looks young enough to still need a babysitter. Because they all look so much older now, they all put on this weird “little kid” voice that was distracting and not very good. None of them gave a good performance. 

3. Mark Evans is... there, I guess? 

I loved Mark Evans in The Play That Goes Wrong and he is given the very unforgiving role of Stuart (aka Miranda’s new boyfriend) who has absolutely nothing to do and does not affect the plot literally at all. He could have been written out of the show and nothing would have changed. 

4. The Runtime 

This show is almost three (3) hours long! It absolutely should not be! There is a lot of material that needs to be cut, particularly in Act Two. There’s a long nightmare sequence in Act 2 that adds very little to the show and goes on way too long. The show’s writers definitely need to kill some of their darlings because there are a lot of random songs and moments that you can tell they had fun writing but add absolutely nothing to the show. 

5. Why was it modern? 

Tootsie the musical did this too where it took a movie set in the 90s and set it in present day and I don’t know why either of these shows did that? The pop culture references - Daniel does that floss dance and talks about Tinder and etc. etc. etc. - don’t really work and part of the reason why the movie was able to work was because of the limitations of 90s technology and terminology. It just felt kinda weird. 

But again, Rob McClure is SO GOOD and he saves the show. If anyone else was in the role, the show would not work but because he is in the show it WORKS somehow. 

And this show is so fun and has so much heart and is so earnest and with a little extra time and care this could be something really lovely.

I guess to end, audience reactions seemed to be mixed? I overheard a lot of people saying they loved it and a lot of people saying they hated it. The Stephen Sondheim Theater is an absolute gem of a theater though and any seat in there is a good one.

The merch is also really nice too. 

[yuzudonut]

vexos hcs and random notes

ill update as i go, because yes i do update my masterlists every once in awhile, i should probably add them to my pinned... 

General

I sincerely hope they have a small living arrangement so I can inflict them with the pain of having to share almost everything with each other

I just want Shadow and Lync to share a bunk

Like to think that alongside Volt, Mylene and Lync were also recruited by Hydron

None of them officially joined until they were a bit older but probably trained to eventually join the Vexos; in the mean time they probably worked for Hydron or something like that

Volt recruited at 11; Lync a year later and Mylene following not long after (respectively 13, 8, 12 when they’re all gathered)

My reasoning to why Volt is patient with Lync’s antics and Mylene less so but doesn’t lash out as badly as you think she would around annoying little kids; grew up tgt moment

Spectra probably forced his way into the Vexos like “hiiii i see you dont have any Vexos members <3″ bcs obv he wasn’t using royal scientist dad privelages (i think, bcs Clay seems horrified abt Spectra being a Vexos and well, being Spectra) 

Shadow had an advantage of being a nobleman (in terms of him being accepted into the Vexos’ ranks)

the Vexos and their set of rules magent-ed on the fridge door or something and every time they go over a page they have to staple/tape a new page on

Joined in this order, Volt, Spectra, Shadow, Mylene, Lync, Gus 

Vexos being a “chance of death low but the chance is still there” type of job... they feel like idols girl help they are bakugan idol group who work for the government 

sorry the way the vestal kids talk about them... going to treat the Vexos like a kpop group now

Spectra Phantom / Keith Fermin 

[canon] son of a (royal?) scientist. definitely had it good and comfy

think it’d be REALLY funny if he already knew Shadow before he became Spectra, Shadow just doesn’t recognize him bcs of his stupid get up

throws childhood friends Shadow Spectra at you, just two weirdos 

Keith specifically keeps Shadow from ever meeting his sister which is why neither of them really recognize each other

Pre-Spectra; probably would’ve been really into bakugan biology and what not. Feels like the kind of person to talk w/ his dad about “do you think we could change their appearance if we messed w/ their mechanical ball form or would it not carry over to their released forms”

this mf looks like a biology major i feel it in my guts 

mom isn’t dead she just divorced Clay bcs he didn’t know how to balance family and work, good for her

probably lives in another city now, and it’s a bit more of a hassle to meet with her kids so they don’t see her as much but she is present in their lives (keep in contact in other ways) 

probably went a bit silent when Keith went missing

didn’t bleach his eyebrows bcs he didn’t want to harm the skin around there and he never thought he’d take the mask off around others, or about how stupid he’d look without the mask

please please please please draw him with his pink hair roots in his MS fit he should've grown out some of his bleached hair by then

daddy issues is truly the root of evil

Gus Grav

Just Some Gut background; middle class just living life

[canon?] was going on a route to being an “idol brawler”, because that’s kind of what their brawls felt like, since it was all purely for show with some competition. it felt less like a sport and more spectacle.

Gus wanting to be an idol brawler is actually such a funny string of words put together I’m making that a thing, if he didn’t join the Vexos he would’ve been an idol brawler

I like the Gus needs glasses hc (shoutout to @marmeladebois ‘s post on that) 

The hc of him being half human and Runo’s half brother is so good 

Cooks well but refuses to help cook fr the Vexos (unless Spectra specifically asks) --> that job is usually left to Volt

not related but reminds me heavily of yugioh vrain’s Spectre (or other way around... Gus was the blueprint) 

Shadow Prove

[handbook canon] a vestal nobleman 

has an older brother (oc; Lux- casual Haos brawler)

inferiority complex or whatever, the only thing he bested his brother in was Bakugan

the Prove family being typical prim proper noble family and forcing Shadow to be repressed is something, but the Proves having the same kind of wavelength as Shadow but in different variations is funnier. They’re just Like That.

Probably not a military family, does work closely with the government still; um im thinking somewhere under the Fermins but not by much

Considered running away from home several times 

Unwillingly has knowledge on Vestal classic literature/ music

hard clutching a wall whenever he wants to join in on discussions about it bcs he knows this stuff but no way is he going to make himself look like a nerd + hes not actually that interested

*debates you for fun and bcs i hate u <3* 

You know how he doesn’t take his job as a Vexos member super seriously, I wonder:

did his parents force him to be a Vexos since he wasn’t interested in the political side of his family and probably against taking up anything related to it, so they had him do something that’d still be beneficial to the family?  

joined to pursue a freedom he didn’t have as a nobleman and is now just taking it really easy?

has clowns > jesters debate with volt; obv he’s team clown, volt is team jester

incredibly irrelevant but if he was a human he’d be chinese, i’ve claimed him, prodigal son older brother and fail son dynamic is there 

Mylene Ferrow

While I like the idea of her being from a military family, I want to make her like Ling Wen (TGCF) in the sense she started from the bottom and climbed to the top... it fits her ambitious nature of grasping for more, she hasn’t reached what she considers the top just yet... 

[very Ling Wen specific but Mylene being put in jail fr crimes unknown to me and being recruited  by Hydron bcs she kicked serious ass is an entertaining thought] 

I like to think she’s closest to Shadow due to the fact he kind of forces his presence onto her so... not her choice in that matter. “annoying” to “endearingly annoying, you still aren’t getting special treatment though”

Ofc Volt and Lync are on the same level, but I think they all know when to give each other space so they’re more of a “we hold each other at a distance, but we’re aware of out closeness which is enough for us”

Then its Spectra and then Gus in the “closest to Mylene” scale; she just straight up hates Gus and it’s mutual

whoever made the “Mylene and Spectra were exes” hc I think it’s really funny so I’m adding it here 

terrible fashion, she’s the one who chose the outfits when she and Shadow went to earth; her fashionable armor look she usually has was designed with Volt’s help, she just voiced what she generally wanted 

Her red lipstick look was bcs she thought it’d make her look more serious/ intimidating (Volt and Lync approved, it rlly does work on her)

Shadow matches w/ her (via his red nails) after they get teamed up tgt several times bcs he thinks they’re basically the go-to duo matchup whenever they’re assigned work n it’d be cool

Very forthcoming about the fact she used to be considered a criminal and was from same rundown area Volt and Lync come from

She’s grateful she got out of jail but she still has no respect for Hydron and despite how much she tries to hide it she does make it pretty clear to him she doesn’t really like him

I wish I had more to say about her... but It’s all relationship esque, i think in general she’s enjoyable and good so what I want more out of her is character dynamics

Lync Volan

[eng dub] he has grandparents; whether they’re still alive or not is...? 

was part of the same area Volt is from

probably aware of each other but didn’t really know each other

you sound like you have mommy issues 

came from the same area as Volt, but lived further out and closer to those areas where there were some bits of nature left 

ill expand on why he got picked up by Hydron another day lazy rn

Volt Luster

[canon] he’s from an area that just straight up looks like yugioh 5ds’ Satellite, and Hydron was the one who pulled him out of there  

He says Hydron pulled him out of there when he was a kid? I’d assume at youngest it’d be like Hydron (8) and Volt (11)

has a neat collection of handmade jester dolls 

lot more artistic than he seems 

Had his guardian bakugan with him the longest; had Brontes even before he met Hydron

Would the others consider him weird fr having a talking Bakugan that acted friendly with him n cracked jokes? 

[eightyonekilograms]

Someone on the Discord brought up fertility

Just like last time I'm lazy and just going to dump it instead of editing.

[5:10 PM] Me: Oh boy, I have thoughts about this

[5:12 PM] Me: I haven't brought it up here but demographics has been one of my covid obsessions. I got a couple books about it (What to Expect When No One's Expecting, One Billion Americans, etc.), read all the articles, etc.

[5:15 PM] Me: I agree with you about a couple things: namely that if we had "infinite free energy" we'd be a a lot better off in many ways including demographically, but I disagree with most of your other points.

[5:18 PM] Me:

Also we need not assume decline in population growth is chronic.

This is a tricky statement because there's a social aspect and a mathematical aspect. Socially you're correct in the sense that whatever trends are driving the current decline could, in theory, reverse at any time. But mathematically, population decline is exactly symmetrical to population growth: it's exponential (technically it's logistic, but that's the same as exponential in the short term), because having fewer people means fewer people to make more people later on.

[5:20 PM] Me:

Infact there is some evidence to suggest that we actually did more science when we had 4-6 billion people.

I disagree with the implication here: we used to do more science because there was more low-hanging fruit, which is now plucked, and further discoveries require more resources (human and financial). Actually one of the big reasons I disagree with Ray Kurzweil and the other singularitarians is that when they show these impressive-looking exponential curves about scientific progress, they quietly hide under the rug that these increases are requiring ever-more investment (again, in both people and money) to accomplish. Just to pick a random example, every time chip manufacturers go to a new process (14nm -> 10nm -> 7nm -> 5nm -> 2nm etc.), the cost to build the fab basically doubles. I remember a couple years back Intel had to spend $5 billion to hit a new process shrink; now TSMC needs to spend $28 billion to hit their next target: https://www.wsj.com/articles/tsmc-to-spend-up-to-record-28-billion-in-advanced-chips-capacity-11610623587)

[5:23 PM] Me: I will try to find it but I came across a paper a little while ago laying out in detail that the cost of new scientific discoveries has been steadily increasing over time. It's not that there's anything necessarily going wrong with the scientific process, this is just what you'd expect as we pick low-hanging fruit: the later discoveries necessarily become harder. But if you extrapolate that trend out forever you eventually hit a point where every single person needs to be a scientist, and every dime of capital in existence, needs to be used to make any new discoveries.

[5:26 PM] Me: (In most fields we're a long way from that point, but it actually is here or nearly here in e.g. particle physics. What I have been hearing from leading-edge particle physicists is that we've got maybe one or two more generations of particle accelerators left before we reach a point where, to probe any further (e.g. to see if string theory is true), we'd need to build accelerators the size of the Solar System, which would take more raw material than the mass of the Earth. Barring some new theoretical breakthroughs, we might actually nearing the "end" of high-energy physics.)

[5:30 PM] Me: Fortunately most fields aren't at that point, but my point is that the more we discover, the more human capital is required to make further progress. That's a tricky enough proposition with a growing population, never mind a shrinking one.

[5:36 PM] Me:

I don't think it is safe to assume lowering population growth is a biological disorder so much as a conscious choice most people in the younger generations are making for a variety of obvious reasons.

I agree with this, but it's important to dig into that a little and understand the reasons. For example, I'm not yet convinced that there is a mass epidemic of people choosing childlessness because of anxiety about e.g. climate change. In internet comments sections you certainly see lots of people making that claim, but talk is cheap and randos on the internet can say whatever they want. In terms of the actual reasons, the data I've seen shows that number of children continues to track closely with a couple data points, mostly housing costs, expected lifetime income and uncertainly about future income flow.

[5:40 PM] Me: Third, I think you should give more weight to the concerns Rhys brought up than you currently are. The environmental stresses of more people is certainly a big issue, but I think it's one that can be dealt with without too much struggle with increased deployment of clean energy (one of the few optimistic data points lately is that there's a staggering amount of wind and solar power being deployed every year) and a couple of lifestyle changes like eating less meat. Not to say these are easy, but contrast with the pretty serious problems of population decline, particularly the social safety net.

[5:41 PM] Me: And I don't just mean the explicit ones like Social Security, but even market-based, privatized ones like retirement savings have a hidden reliance on a growing population.

[5:42 PM] Me: When you "save for retirement", you're not stockpiling food and water to live off when you no longer work, you're collecting financial assets that you expect to sell to someone else and live off that income. But if there's no one to sell to, that doesn't work.

[5:44 PM] Me: This is a problem that's starting to show up at the top end of the income stack: see this WSJ article about retirees who can't find anyone to buy their $3 million homes: https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-growing-problem-in-real-estate-too-many-too-big-houses-11553181782. It's easy to have schadenfreude here at those poor rich people who can't unload their huge mansion, but remember that this is inherently a problem which will start at the top of the income brackets and gradually make its way downward.

[5:46 PM] Me: You can push this problem back for a while by increasing taxes on the rich, and I do indeed think those should go up, but in a declining population that only buys you a little time. Remember that "money" is nothing but a claim on some fraction of total economic output. e.g. when you hold a dollar bill, you're essentially holding a note entitling you to one-zillionth of American GDP.

[5:47 PM] Me: At a certain point once population falls then total aggregate output necessarily falls too, and at that point taxing the rich hits rapidly diminishing returns: you're just claiming a bigger share of falling output

[5:49 PM] Me: One thing to keep in mind here is that most economies, but especially the U.S. economy, are primarily driven by consumer spending, i.e. normal people just buying and selling stuff to each other.

[5:50 PM] Me: This is why e.g. mass immigration isn't as huge a deal as a bunch of nativists like to think: immigrants get jobs, but they also spend money on goods and services just like anyone else: they generate labor demand as well as taking up supply

[5:51 PM] Me: But what I'm driving at here is that, again, a consumer-spending-driven economy with a falling population is going to get poorer pretty much by definition: fewer people buying stuff means fewer jobs to produce that stuff.

[5:54 PM] Me: Or to put another way, to use a ridiculously simplified model, GDP = Population X Productivity, and so if you take the derivative, then GDP' ~ Population' + Productivity'. So in a falling population environment, you need a lot of heavy lifting in terms of forever-increasing productivity in order for economic growth to be positive. And while there might be improvements down the pipe, frankly we kind of seem tapped out on productivity growth already

[5:55 PM] Me: Now, one possible response here is that we should work out how to have an economic system which delivers prosperity without endless growth, and I do agree we need that. But just saying that doesn't fix the problem that right now we don't have it and people will be poorer in a world without growth.

[5:56 PM] Me: And in such a world, I think it actually becomes harder to successfully transition to whatever post-scarcity economy can fix the problem, because people will be caught up in fighting over a shrinking pie.

[5:58 PM] Me: The neoliberal capitalist mindset of "a rising tide lifts all boats" isn't totally true and has been used to justify all kinds of nasty plutocratic behavior, but it isn't entirely false either. Without growth, at least in the system we have now, wealth distribution inherently becomes a zero-sum game. And that could get really ugly.

[5:59 PM] Me: So, that's most of what I have to say about why a falling population would be bad. But that's the easy part. Where this gets really complicated is why it's happening and what to do about it

[6:00 PM] Me: Now, I think one of the reasons I've been so fascinated by this is that it's been a pessimistic year, and falling birth rates are kind of the perfect pessimistic problem because I don't really see an easy way out. Also I'm just annoyed by partisans in general, and this is a perfect problem for that because it sort of frustrates partisans on all sides.

[6:02 PM] Me: e.g. the left mainly talks about the economic causes and proposes a variety of policy solutions, but an ugly little secret here is that government policy to increase birth rates has basically a perfect, unbroken track record of total failure

[6:03 PM] Me: All kinds of countries (mostly in Europe, but also in East Asia) have implemented all kinds of pro-natalist policies, and for the most part they have accomplished pretty much nothing. (Amusingly, this even goes back to antiquity: in the first couple centuries AD Roman Emperors were also concerned with falling birth rates, and implemented a variety of reforms that didn't do anything)

[6:03 PM] Me: You could always say they didn't go far enough, but at some point you're making an unfalsifiable hypothesis

[6:06 PM] Me: Meanwhile on the right, they're constantly talking about cultural factors, but this runs into two problems: it's again a set of mostly unfalsifiable hypotheses, but even worse since they're all tangled up in the Right's usual rants about The Way Things Ought to Be, but even if they turned out to be true, it seems like a hopeless cause because we basically have no levers to change culture.

[6:07 PM] Me: "Why does culture develop in the direction it does" is one of those huge questions I'm not sure we'll ever have a complete answer for, but I think it has to mostly involve technological determinism.

[6:08 PM] Me: https://www.sciphijournal.org/index.php/2017/11/12/why-the-culture-wins-an-appreciation-of-iain-m-banks/ <-- this is a great article explaining what I'm talking about, as well as explaining why you should read Iain Banks

[6:09 PM] Me: But my point here is that all the cultural changes the Right laments as causing people to have fewer children, assuming they're even correct which I am definitely not granting, are pretty much all products of industrialization. You can't roll them back without undoing the Industrial Revolution. At least not without an insane level of authoritarianism

[6:10 PM] Me: So on the policy side we have a bunch of levers which don't do anything, and on the culture side there are no levers at all.

[petri808]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33-Epilogue

— I just wanna say thank you so much to everyone who followed along, your comments and suggestions along the way really helped to bring this story to life! It’s my longest fic to date, and to think it started as a one-shot for nalu day 2020 lol. YOU GUYS HELPED MAKE THIS HAPPEN! 🥳🥰🥰 ILY YOU ALL!💜💜💜💜

@mcornilliac special shout out for you help with the toughest part 😘

Even after all these years, riding on a train still brought a small flutter to Lucy’s stomach as she remembered the long ago evening when she’d met her husband. From an innocent meeting to a death defying experience, talk about a roller coaster ride. And yet, if she had to do it all over again, Lucy wouldn’t change a thing. Crazy sounding yes, for why would anyone not want to avoid what she’d gone through? Touka had truly pushed her sanity to the breaking point, but well, the therapist was right in the end and Lucy felt almost invincible now. All that pain, all the struggle she’d pushed through had made her the strong and resilient woman she was today. Happily married to Natsu with their fraternal twins Nashi and Ryuu. Mrs. Natsu Dragneel, Lucy smiled to herself, there was no way she’d change a thing.

Of course, it hadn’t been easy. After Natsu proposed and Lucy had accepted, there were still a lot of work to be done. But that measure of acceptance and affection did wonders. Any worries she’d had that he wouldn’t want a broken woman melted away and gave her the confidence to get better. With each passing therapy session, her strength grew, and by the time they graduated college, Lucy could honestly say she’d been cured to a functional degree. No longer struggling through nightmares and panic attacks, her anxieties were under control and the debilitating depression a distant memory where it belonged.

Yeah... Lucy sighed happily as she watched the landscape pass by from her train seat. Meeting Natsu was the best thing to ever happen in her life, well, aside from the kids. They’d married about a year after graduation on the anniversary of their meeting. It was a beautiful affair at an indoor venue, with close friends and family to join them. They’d gone a more modern route for the ceremony but did take pictures at a garden dressed in the traditional attire for sentimental reasons. Lucy wore the shiromuku white kimono while Natsu a montsuki haori hakama. And no, it wasn’t train themed! Levy was the Maid of Honor and Gray was the best man. By then, Levy and Gajeel were also married and Gray in a serious relationship with a girl named Juvia Lockser. Lucy was so happy for them both. All of their lives were moving in the right direction.

Everything was perfect. Great jobs in their fields of interest, lives settled into a comfortable routine, when 5 years later Lucy was pregnant with fraternal twins. It was a total surprise since twins didn’t run in either of their families. Always the jovial optimist, Natsu joked that they’d been doubly blessed because of what they’d gone through, and Lucy couldn’t help but love such a concept. Of course, once the euphoria of the motherhood prospect waned, reality set in that she was having twins! Two! Double the babies meant double of everything, from the pregnancy concerns to raising them. Growing up without a mother and as an only child, Lucy didn’t have a lot of experience with small children. But Natsu patiently assured her, that she’d do just fine. Think of it as a new challenge, and after overcoming one pretty tough situation, this would be a walk in the park. On the bright side, Levy was also pregnant with the couple’s first child so the two best friend’s kids would grow up together.

And Natsu was right, there were a few bumps in the road but nothing too difficult. During her fourth month Lucy was diagnosed with gestational diabetes as well as some minor gastrointestinal issues, so Natsu swayed the doctor to put her on bed rest. Better safe than sorry. The babies were healthy, but by the 7th month, she really couldn’t move much, and she was miserable being stuck at home all the time. Lucy missed her job because she genuinely enjoyed working for the magazine. But in the end, it had been a good thing. She could manage her health easier that way and it gave her time to do something she’d thought about doing as part of the healing process. With Natsu’s support and permission, it was time to put her writing skills to good use and write a book about their experience.

It became an instant hit, especially with female readers. The book was not only an autobiographical reflection of what had happened to them but focused on shining a light on the dangers of stalkers, as well as the importance of taking the warning signs seriously. Lucy didn’t hold back in her re-telling, even pointing out the serious flaws in Japan’s laws in protecting citizens from stalkers which at the time were nonexistent. Feminist organizations working to change those laws used her story with permission for their cause. She had no intentions of becoming a poster child for the movement, but in the end her role may have played its part, because 2 years after the publishing, Japan finally adopted anti-stalking laws making it easier for police to string together harassment cases, as well as for victims to get the help they needed.

Her life was nothing but exciting to say the least! And with two young children, now age 10 certainly kept them on their toes. Their daughter Nashi was just like Natsu, very outgoing, friendly, but a bit of a daredevil while her brother Ryuu born 4 minutes after her was the quieter of the two. He preferred books like his mother to adventure. Of course, that never stopped Nashi from dragging him into shenanigans! But the best part was how close they still were and fiercely protective of each other. Lucy and Natsu couldn’t be prouder of them and hoped this would continue throughout their lifetimes.

Fifteen years... come to think of it, their wedding anniversary was coming up shortly. With Natsu now a senior fire inspector for the Tokyo prefectural government, he was often busy. Lucy did mind it, because frankly it gave her some peace and quiet. She chuckled at the thought. Not that it was all that peaceful with the twins. But she digressed. His success meant their lives were very comfortable, and her own journalism successes while not as financially based, were still celebrated in their relationship. Natsu never waned in being the dutiful and supportive, always loving husband that Lucy felt blessed to grow old with.

‘Two more stops, pick up the kids from school, stop at the grocery store for dinner...’ Lucy tapped out on her phone a to-do list of ingredients to pick up at the store. Perhaps katsudon... ‘Mmm, or maybe nabe,’ hot-pot soup since it was expected to be a bit chilly that evening.

Lucy looked up briefly, really just spacing out in thought when someone catches her eye. At the other end of the train car, she noticed a woman facing slightly away, but enough to where she couldn’t quite see a face. It couldn’t be... Lucy looked away not wanting to stare, but somehow... for some reason the woman was awfully familiar... looking exactly like Touka. Well, not exactly, but enough to make the hair on the back of her neck stand up. It was a blonde, with a different hair style— and that could always be changed. Similar body type, the facial side-profile features that Lucy could see resembled Touka...

Now despite being better, her anxieties still bubbled up from time to time, so she immediately switched to her coping techniques to calm them down. ‘You’re fine,’ Lucy talked herself through it, ‘no point in getting riled up.’ The woman hadn’t done so much as looked in her direction, so it must be okay. Contrary to popular belief, things like depression and anxiety never fully goes away, especially when someone has experienced a severe level of it. Those emotions and irrational thoughts are forever programmed into the brain, but there are ways to keep them at bay and Lucy’s successfully done just that for 15 years.

‘Just go back to what you were doing. Katsudon or nabe? And don’t forget you need to pick up milk...’ But, fifteen years... could Touka have been released by now? Lucy shook the thought away again. ‘Stop it! Everything is fine. It’s not her!’ The train was semi-full of passengers all minding their own business... including the woman. There was no reason to start panicking now. Lucy adjusts her position on her seat away from the woman’s direction. If she couldn’t see her, she could pretend she didn’t exist. ‘Maybe I should pick up ingredients for both, that way I don’t have to shop tomorrow.’ Lucy thought to herself, and with the kids with her, they could help in carrying the shopping bags. ‘Yeah, we’ve got a plan…’

After figuring out her shopping list, Lucy pulled up social media to keep herself distracted and for a few minutes it did the trick. Silly videos of entertainers never got old. The train reached the next stop and she felt it come to a stop. Since it wasn’t hers, she didn’t pay it any mind as she scrolled through her feed. But as the disembarking passengers funnel past Lucy, her eyes pick up on a pair of pink high-heels peeking from over the edge of her phone. Her body instantly stiffened up from the similarity to the ones worn by the woman, while her curiosity slowly got the better of her. ‘Breath, act nonchalant!’ Lucy’s eyes tracked the high-heels moving past her until they left her periphery. She then slowly sat back up, pretending to readjust her position, when she caught a pair of eyes looking back. Lucy’s breathing hitches with a shaky exhale. “Oh, my god—"

Standing at the doorway with one hand on the frame, the blonde woman smiled at Lucy then winked before stepping off the train.

It was Touka!

[rockthistowninsideout]

DigiWeek 2021

Day 7 - Home (Free Day)

The Story

   “Uh-oh as much as you want! Now the time is over for Digimon and all those supporting them!”, the blonde girl shouted and finally rounded the ledge. She wore a red-and-blue checked school uniform and a devilish grin on her face.

   “Why would you want to end the Digimon?”, Kamemon cried out.

   “Because they are destructive and cannot be trusted!”

   “Then why do you have a Digimon partner?”, Ryudamon asked.

   The girl, who still hadn’t introduced herself, laughed menacingly. _“_There’s no such thing as Digimon partner. Humans can never live in peace with them. Grizzlymon is merely a tool because it was stupid enough to think the same as you. Wanted to become my partner – Instead I made it my slave. It’s what Digimon deserve to be so mindlessly wrecking.”

   “You tested your black spikes on it, didn’t you?” I asked as I caught a glimpse of a sharp tip protruding from its fur.

   She eyed me with a gaze that swung between annoyance and approval. “Oh yes! It was really eager to be my guinea pig and I have to admit it’s doing an excellent job as my assassin. But then again Digimon are nothing but war machines.”

   “That’s not true!”, Kamemon cried out. It seemed to feel deeply offended by the girl’s sermon.

   And I understood that. Kamemon and Ryudamon had been nothing but kind and helpful, and Frezamon had only attacked us because the black spike had corrupted it. Something truly dire had probably happened in her life. To buy time, I asked “What’s your name?”

   Her eyebrows shot up in genuine surprise. She positioned herself straddle-legged before us, hands on her hips, and declared “I am Tamina and you will soon praise me as the Extinguisher of Digimon!”

   Taki leaned into me “She’s got a serious screw loose. White people and their megalomaniac ideas.”

   While I wholeheartedly agreed, I couldn’t shake the feeling that some serious trauma bubbled close beneath the surface. Before I could elaborate on that note, she cried “Grizzlymon, attack!”

   Her Digimon, or better say, her brainwashed minion, unleashed a Heavy Attack. We could duck down and escape to the right, but the attack was so strong that it shattered the stony ledge we’d been hiding under. The shards were blown in all directions and we only stayed safe because Ryudamon threw itself before us and blocked the shrapnel with its armour.

   I looked to Kamemon. “Are you ready?” It nodded. I gripped my DigiVice tightly and as Kamemon started to glow, it vibrated in my hand. When the evolution was done, it identified the new Digimon in our ranks as Gwappamon. Gwappamon was roughly a head or two shorter than what I remembered DexDorugamon to be. Instead of Kamemon’s helmet it had brown dreadlock-like hair that was crowned by a CD. Around its neck a pair of headphones was slung and its belly was stitched and patched up. It parried Grizzlymon’s attack with a Gwappa Punch.

   “See, you’re also only using the Digimon as fighters”, Tamina yelled in triumph.

   “Well, we don’t want to get ourselves killed by you poor Digimon!”, Taki shouted. “I can only pity it, both of you, actually.”

   “Why do you pity me? Pity yourself for being led to believe that Digimon are good!”

   We jumped apart when Grizzlymon launched its next attack. I ran towards the rocks where the ice sheet was wedged when an idea struck me. We were four and they were only a pair. We should have an advantage here.

   Tamina was concentrated on directing Grizzlymon against Gwappamon who was sparring exceptionally. So I had the chance to communicate with Taki and Ryudamon, at least non-verbally. Taki agreed with my plan: I wanted to lure Grizzlymon away by letting myself be reflected in the ice mirror. That was suppposed to irritate Grizzlymon enough to let its focus slip. Hopefully that gave Ryudamon enough time to jump on Grizzlymon’s back. Then Gwappamon could join forces with Ryudamon and we could pin down Tamina.

   I bent down and started forming snow balls. When I had a small battery of them at my feet, I threw them at Grizzlymon with force. After the third, it turned around annoyed. To be on the safe side, I threw a couple more, one hit it straight between the eyes. With a roar, it charged at me. Well, what it supposed was me, but it actually was my reflection it ran towards. Before Tamina could order it to stop it had hit the ice with a sickening crash, the impact was enough to let the ice splitter into a million pieces.

   Immediately, Ryudamon was on its back, clawing into its think fur. Grizzlymon roared in agony but before it could shake Ryudamon off, Gwappamon had thrown it into the snow. Tamina was shouting, she tore at her hair, until we were at her sides and gripped her arms tightly. “Let. Me. Go!” she yelled repeatedly, though her voice grew smaller and smaller until she was mere wax in our hands. Uncontrolled sobs were shaking her body. Taki and I looked at each other, we both simply felt sympathy now. We led Tamina towards the yurt where she collapsed in front of the entrance.

   I wanted to enter but the darkness that had risen from the chimney had now filled the entire hut so I quickly drew the curtain back and told Taki and Tamina that we had to evacuate right now. Tamina was unable to walk, it seemed that only her rage and misguided mission had been holding her up, so I scooped her up bridal-style and hurried down the mountain as fast as I could.

   In passing Taki shouted towards the Digimon to destroy the yurt – Grizzlymon had now been freed from the spike and was looking around confused. Gwappamon sent the CD on its head spinning which tore open a slit in the fabric of the yurt and Ryudamon set the hut ablaze with its Tera Burst. The yurt exploded and the shockwave pushed me several metres down the slope.

   We took shelter behind a particularly sturdy looking ledge. I sat Tamina down who was sobbing. “Shh” I said. “You are okay now.”

   “Yeah, it’s alright”, Taki seconded. After a brief pause she said “And whenever you’re ready, you can tell us why you hate Digimon so much.”

   Tamina was quiet for a few moments, only furiously wiping away the tears from her eyes. I gave her a handkerchief from my school bag. She took it with a grateful expression but she wasn’t smiling yet. Finally she whispered “My mom.” She hiccuped before she could continue “My mom died when Parrotmon and Greymon fought in Hikarigaoka. She was the only victim when she got hit by fallen debris that’s been, well, I don’t know if it came from a bridge, or an apartment building, of it it was a car. It also doesn’t really matter. I wasn’t afraid to see these two creatures fight when I watched them but when I learned that they were responsible for Mommy’s death, I swore revenge. And over the years, my anger only grew whenever I saw Digimon running rampant in the city and all across the globe. They caused malfunctions and destroyed everything. But as far as I know my mom was the only fatality in all those year. I always felt that the government wasn’t doing enough so I itched for a chance to right it myself.”

   She paused to inhale deeply. “And some time ago, I don’t if it’s been hours, or days, or weeks – time works different in the Digital World – I walked home from school when someone called me down a stairwell between two streets. The voice came from behind a gate between two houses, and when I stepped through it, I was in the Digital World, right in front of the yurt, with Bearmon waiting beside it. The voice told me that it understood my sorrow and wanted to help me with my revenge.”

   A few minutes ago, the girl had wanted to dominate the world but now I could feel nothing but sorry for her. Out of an instinct, I hugged her tightly, and Taki on the other side did the same. Our Digimon came back from their battle, they had evolved to their previous levels.

   When Tamina spotted her former slave she called “Oh Bearmon, I’m so sorry!”, and teared up again.

   Bearmon came towards her to hug her, saying “It’s alright now.”

   Kamemon walked over to me and said “We told Bearmon what happened. It was very understanding.”

   “Thank you for tel-”. Before I could finish the sentence, there was a blast that shook the earth. We flinched, then I peaked over the ledge to discover a huge crater where the hut used to be.

   “That wasn’t us!” Kamemon declared.

   From the crater rose smoke that transformed into tentacles halfway through. “Ah shucks!”, I muttered.

   “Did you really think it was over? What you defeated was merely a puppet, a disposable I would have gotten rid of anytime if the time had come. And the time has come!”

   “That’s it! That’s the voice that called me here. Oh my God!” Tamina wailed, shaking vigorously.

  “Stop it!”, I said firmly. “We need your help now. If we want to win against – well, whatever that is, we need to stand united.”

   Tamina looked frightened at me. “I don’t think I can.”

   I lifted her head gently at the chin to look directly into her eyes. “Listen to me. I’m really sorry what happened to your mom. But the Digimon are not to blame for her death. And neither your vendetta nor your indecision will bring her back. What we need to focus on right now is to save the Digital World, and probably our human world too. I don’t know who’s behind the voice but I’m pretty sure they don’t want to spare us. What Ryudamon over there told me was that the Dark Forces had always aimed for the human world too. It’s the rest of your family who’s in danger now. This is your chance to save them!”

   She stared at me like a hare. Her shaking stopped, she swallowed hard before she nodded. “Okay.”

   “Wonderful.” I briefly hugged her, then pulled her up on her feet.

   We gathered together, back to back, gazing up to the sky. It darkened by the second, the clouds spun faster and faster until some sort of vent had formed. “Prepare for doom!”, the voice thundered.

   Taki grabbed my hand on the left side, Kamemon on the right. “Ready?”, she asked.

   I nodded. “Let’s do this

Gwappamon

Also:

HAPPY ODAIBA DAY!!

Thank you so much for organizing the event @earlgreymon​ and @tangledupblue! It was wonderful to see us Digimon fans reunited again and to share our love for an anime that’s been with us for more than 20 years. 

[where-theres-smoak-2]

With the way antis have taken advantage of Alina being half Shu on the show in order to use it against Darklina I’m wondering would more people take the Grisha persecution and really discuss it rather than parroting the same “Ohh,they did such a good job with Mal on the show and the Darkling is so evil”if Aleksander was a POC on the show since Demon in the Woods heavily implies that he probably has some Shu blood since he can pass as one. I mean personally I think it feels super forced to insert 21st century (mostly American centric) racism where you already have a fantasy group as representation for discrimination and persecution but there’s no doubt in my mind that if he has been played by a POC actor those fake some fans would immediately start defending him. I think in general there should def be more discussions online about the way Grisha as a minority group has been presented and how the narrative represents them because yes Alina keeping her powers and the Darkling getting some sort of redemption would be amazing but that doesn’t solve the bigger issue of how Aleksander is vilified for doing everything he can to protect his people against a system that’s been abusing and enslaving them for centuries while Alina is so anti Grisha and spends half of her life hiding who she is(hello assimilation and co dependency so she can be the perfect “normal”girl her jerk of a “best friend”could love)and then it ends up being permanently stripped from her because the story can’t have a powerful woman learning of the unjust system that’s been commuting genocide on her people and deciding to put a stop to it. Instead we need someone like Zoya who has no leadership or political abilities to be queen and is very much pro monarchy(aka the system that oppresses her people)and her becoming a queen has to be because of her white saviour boyfriends decided she’s the best fit for it because characters like Daenerys from GOT and Aleksandr are deemed “too extreme/dangerous /ambitious”when they try to change the status quo because they’re “too violent”.But if you make another character a WOC(then change her to white passing scree you capitalised on POC buying your books)and give her how many powers basically turning her into a Mary Sue and make her a queen without her doing anything to gain it or even wanting to be one (because they would make her greedy and violent/evil)people will so not notice and root for her because performative diversity/activism solves everything. Anyway sorry for the rant I just had to vent for a bit,lol.

That's ok rant away, I think having a good rant is healthy sometimes. You've raised an interesting question in if Aleks was played by a POC would antis have actually defended him and would that have made people discuss the oppression of the grisha more. I mean I don't know the answer to it. I do feel like antis will use pretty much anything to paint darklinas as bad people. I actually talked a bit about the fact that in the books m*l is white and Aleks is the one that is presented as potentially being a POC when some antis started accusing darklinas of being racist for not shipping m*lina making the claim that they only ship darklina because archie is a MOC and Ben is white. Considering most darklinas have openly admitted that show m*l is 100% better than book m*l and how alot of people liked him in the show but just prefer the chemistry between darklina, the argument that we are all racist doesn't make much sense. Unfortunately I do think that antis use racism as a weapon in ship wars far too often and this I find worrying because if the subject of racism comes up in a more serious discussion are people just going to shrug and say its just antis being antis instead of engaging in what needs to be an important and educational discussion.

The fact that Aleks as a leader of a oppressed minority group is villainised the way he is in the books is something that has always frustrated me and made me kind of angry too. I honestly don't feel like the show villainised this character even with the bad things he does in the show. They did a very good job, in my opinion, of showing that he was a man who had spent hundreds of years watching his people suffer and was now committing these dark acts out of desperation, he feels like he has tried every other way and now fear is the only weapon he has left to use. They go to great lengths to show you why he is doing these things making him more of a morally grey character than an outright villain, which is why I think the character has even more support post release of the show. I mean I wasn't part of the fandom when it was just a book fandom but from what I've seen others saying the darklina fandom has grown bigger as people are watching the show and are just being drawn to Aleks' character and the darklina ship. This isn't something that happens in the books where he is just depicted as being evil to his core pretty much and its very hard to understand his motives and I also don't feel like he gets much development as a character he's just kind of there in the background doing villain things. Most of his development in my opinion is in demon in the woods and I kind of wish she had actually written that into the actual book trilogy.

As for Zoya I don't know much about her character past the grisha trilogy so I can't really form a personal opinion on how her character is developed past that point. But from what others have said I get the impression that LB tried to fix the mistakes she made with Alina with Zoya in that people didn't like that Alina lost her powers so she makes Zoya really powerful, they wanted Alina more involved in politics and maybe even as a grisha queen so she made Zoya a grisha queen. In some ways this is good because it shows growth and that she took on criticism and tried to fix it. Unfortunately it does make Alina's fate an even more bitter pill to swallow because Zoya's journey really should have been Alina's. In my opinion Alina should have ended the series with her powers and in a position of power so that she can help better her people's situation. Whether that position of power is as the new queen or whether they decide to get rid of the monarchy altogether and form a council or government instead that includes both otkazat'sya and grisha working together.

[scope-dogg]

Genesis Climber Mospeada: Final Thoughts

Mospeada’s probably most notable for being one of the three anime series that was frankensteined together to make the Robotech saga, alongside the more famous Super Dimension Fortress Macross and the less well know Super Dimension Cavalry Southern Cross. However, it’s a series with a legacy of its own on its own merits in Japan and has had some degree of enduring popularity - the IP even has a new IP called Genesis Breaker in the works. So, is it good enough to warrant that?

In my opinion, only sort of. This is a series with some charismatic characters, cool mechanical designs, solid animation for its time and a great soundtrack, as well as an initially promising plot, but having just finished it I can’t help but feel like it didn’t quite stick the landing and ultimately didn’t manage to become something greater than the sum of its parts. Ultimately a plot that feels half-baked is the chief culprit for this.

The plot setup is that the Earth is invaded by a mysterious alien species called the Inbit, who manage to completely force humanity’s governments and militaries from the surface of the planet entirely. Humanity rebuilds on its colonies on Mars and eventually launches an armada to reclaim Earth, only for their invasion to fail. Refusing to give in, they launch a second armada some time later. Lieutenant Stig Bernard is a soldier who is part of this second invasion. Re-entry to Earth’s atmosphere goes poorly, and while Stig makes it through, humanity’s force is scattered, and his fiancé Marlene is killed during the operation. Grieving and all alone, Stig nevertheless must gather his resolve and continue with his mission to attack Reflex Point, a location in North America believed to be the nexus of alien activity. Along the way, he’ll gather up a motley band of new allies who’ll join him in his quest.

The setup isn’t that exciting on the face of it, but it’s the details that make it initially intriguing. The first voice the anime airs is that of the Inbit themselves, as they travel through space as a flicker of mysterious light, invoking the names of unfamiliar deities as they make their way to Earth. The mystique this sets up around them was the one thing that drove me on through the early parts - I wanted to know more about these strange invaders. The series guards this mystique closely however. For a long time we see nothing of them save the exteriors of the crablike battle mecha they fight with, and they drop hints as to their true aims and natures a little too infrequently. Eventually the show does make serious developments with them, but it feels like it comes too little, too late. When the resolution of the war comes about in the last episode, the solution feels like a copout more than anything, and it feels like the opportunity was wasted. Most of the episodes of the show technically advance the plot by getting Stig and the gang close to Reflex Point but the stories involved episode to episode too often feel like side stories that don’t build the world in a significant enough way.

Thankfully, the main cast of characters is mostly pretty good. Stig is a bit of a hardass and sticks rigidly to his duties as a soldier, which sometimes leads him into unnecessary conflict with others, but he remains sympathetic as the loss of his fiancé weighs on him heavily. Probably the most competent and interesting member of the group is Yellow, who’s a male soldier who moonlights as a female singer. Many of the more interesting episodes feature him as the primary character. Ray and Houquet are Earth-born survivors of the Inbit occupation who join the group to help out regardless and have something of a romantic magnetism between each other, and Jim’s a mechanic who has to overcome his own fears to live up to his duty. These are all pretty good characters, but there’s one massive exception to this, that being Mint, a young girl who joins up early on and proceeds to ruin almost every scene she’s in with her obnoxious personality and loud, shrill voice. Her gimmick is that she awkwardly hits on almost every attractive male character she runs into, which is pretty uncomfortable because she’s obviously meant to be prepubescent. This character was such a mistake that she managed to sour my impressions of the show as a whole in record time. She provides little to no utility to the other group members and it makes no sense for them to take a young child with them into the thick of combat on a mission to assault the heavily guarded fortress of a hostile alien race. I know how this sounds, me bitching about a little kid character, but she really was just that bad.

The presentation, thankfully, is actually pretty good all round. It’s an old show that doesn’t do an amazing job of hiding it, for its time its quite solid. The mechanical designs are interesting - the Inbit’s crablike combat robots are fairely unique to look at for one, whereas the heavy hitter on the human side is the Legioss, a transforming fighter similar to Macross’ Valkyrie, albeit with a heavier, blockier profile. The most unique member of the mechanised cast is the namesake Mospeada, which are combat motorcycles that dynamically transform into heavily-armed power armour for their human riders. Animation featuring all of these is of a consistently solid level, and many of the battles are actually quite exciting. This is furthered by the fact that the show’s soundtrack is strong, including some really catchy and energetic vocal tracks.

As to whether this is worth a recommend or not, I’m a little on the fence. I definitely think this one’s more for people who appreciate the aesthetics of 80s mecha anime, because this one fits that bill really well. If you’re hear for an interesting plot, I think there are plenty of other shows that do the whole aspect of humans fighting mysterious aliens that do that schtick a fair bit better, most notably, and somewhat ironically, the original Macross.

Interestingly, there was an OVA called Love, Live, Alive released after the TV show. It’s set from the perspective of Yellow following the conclusion of the events of the series, as he looks back on everything that happened while performing at concerts. In effect, what that means is that it’s 50 minutes of the series’ more exciting battles and dramatic plot moments set to some of the best vocal tracks. If you’re on the fence about whether this show’s for you, but you don’t feel like taking a gamble on its 25-episode length, it might be worthwhile to just watch this OVA instead to get the super-digest version of it, though as a word of warning maybe it’s better to give it a miss if you suffer from photosensitive epilepsy.

[boonesfarmsangria]

“I've never really understood what purpose I have in the guitar world” Ben Howard on the wandering spirit at the heart of his new album | Guitar.com | All Things Guitar

Collaboration is the heart and soul of most great records, whether that’s a band toiling in a cheap rehearsal room, files appearing in Dropbox folders, or a singer-songwriter batting ideas back and forth with a producer. Ben Howard has always chosen his creative allies carefully – they’re people he knows and trusts, with the bulk of the weight usually resting on his shoulders. But things are different now. On Collections From The Whiteout, his fourth album, the other key voice in the room is a new one. It belongs to Aaron Dessner of The National.

On paper, this pairing reads more like a bout for the title than a tag-team outing, with the English folk-derived peculiarities of Howard’s guitar playing and phrasing up against someone who has helped to make textural innovation and widescreen melancholia a serious currency in American music. But as Howard tells it, it was in fact a low-key, complementary match up. “We just had a good time making it. No fuss. No big story behind it,” Howard says while encased in a Zoom window, a rollie between his fingers.

“Our musical heritages are quite different but we found a familiar space in among it all, like the way we approach instruments, or the way we approach pedals and sounds. Jon Low, the engineer, threaded that discourse and pulled us in from different areas we were orbiting. We’re both ideas people. I wouldn’t say I’m that proficient on any instrument, but I like to chase a thread. I’m pretty relentless. I need someone to pull me in at points.”

Collage admission

Collections From The Whiteout, which follows 2018’s sprawling indie-psych exploration Noonday Dream, is brimming with ideas. It amps up almost every element of Howard’s palette, delighting in complex layering and transposing the delicate nature of his melodies into a world of complex, unknowable sonics. Take the collage-like Make Arrangements as a particularly good example: there’s no riff to speak of, and little in the way of pronounced shifts in pacing or tone, but there are solid, meaningful hooks floating amid its shards of sound.

“My attraction to Aaron in the first place was because that is what he’s doing at the moment – working on a lot of layered harmonies,” Howard says. “Make Arrangements is a harmonised bass part that was very freeform, with beats and very few musical elements to it. But it’s about realising that it’s engaging enough to be a song. We started realising that is a theme, that relentless nature of a song.”

There is a healthy side of form mirroring meaning at work here, too. This is an album of its time, reflecting the preoccupations of its writer and also the environment in which its first seeds were planted. Howard has rolled his eyeballs over thousands of headlines in recent years, filing dispatches from a bitter, divided world governed by fools alongside curios and stories that define strange but true: sailors who turned to subterfuge in the face of failure, fraudsters at home in any crowd, tragic flights ending on deserted land in the Puget Sound.

Collections From The Whiteout is almost an attempt to declutter his brain. He winds these tales around aspects of his life and binds them to the record’s searching, loop-heavy compositions. “It’s impossible to truly get away from everything these days,” Howard says. “But that’s my remit. That’s my payroll. That’s my job, so to speak – to tinker around and stay in my own head.

“I think this record was perhaps an acceptance of that. It certainly was a lot of useless information I seemed to have obtained, and I wanted to somehow sift through it into a cohesive set of songs. I realised that there’s a deep crossover between every tiny little detail in everyone else’s stories with my own experiences, and that you can thread a fairly cluttered path through it and come out at the end of it with a few songs.”

Funny guy

But the clutter is essentially the point of the exercise. Howard is liable to get lost in a song, poring over each movement, driven by a desire to make unusual choices and follow each idea through to some sort of a conclusion. Lyrically, the album also taps into that. It is an episodic, surrealistic exercise, like hiding an inappropriate guffaw behind clenched teeth. The album is at its best when these twin concerns clatter into melodies that offer a playful sense of pattern and circularity, knowingly doubling down on the narratives and jokes in a sea of delay and helter-skelter atmospherics.

“With a song you’ve got so much you can play with,” Howard says. “It’s not just the lyrical content. It’s not just instrumentation. It’s form. It’s little references and reference points. That’s what makes it interesting. It’s a free for all when you come to put these things down. I enjoy being able to have fun with that. I enjoy the duality, and it not being a concrete thing.”

“The absurdity element was certainly something I wanted to include. I’m a big Roald Dahl fan, and a big fan of old English literature,” he continues. “To be honest, I was really disappointed that the record wasn’t funnier. I’m always trying to be funny, and I think that’s where the duality comes in – the crossover of story and self. I listen to a lot of artists who are a bit more tongue-in-cheek. I think inevitably you’re almost trying to copy aspects of people, or get across a sense of humour.”

Howard started out a long way from this self-reflexive spot. As a kid he moved from Middlesex to Totnes, Devon, and his emergence in 2011 with the smash hit LP Every Kingdom very much played upon the surfer dude persona that has lit thousands of gap year beach bonfires. Pairing the long-simmering influence of John Martyn with melodic smarts and a knack for low-key pop framing, it capped off one of those years-long overnight success stories we’re always hearing about. Having racked up hundreds of shows across Europe under his own steam the vibe quickly shifted – in place of club nights in Belgium witness multi-night stands at Brixton Academy, arena dates in the US opening for Mumford and Sons, and headline-grabbing Glastonbury sets.

Shortly after winning a brace of Brit awards – for British Breakthrough Act and British Male Solo Artist – Howard put out his second album I Forget Where We Were. Released in the autumn of 2014, it was a sharp left turn into wiry acoustic leads and restless songs that bled into one another across a mammoth runtime of almost an hour. It was difficult, anxious and alienating. It was not the easy option.

It treated his audience like engaged listeners and grown-ups, and began a process of reframing his live show as an ongoing, often introspective, interrogation of his music. “It’s got to be interesting for everyone. In a selfish way it’s got to be interesting for the artist as well,” he says. “There have often been people disappointed at the catalogue we play live, and for me we have to strike that balance together rather than it being a one-way conversation.”

At this remove it’s fairly straightforward to see that Collections From The Whiteout doesn’t get written by the man who decides to cash in on Every Kingdom’s recipe for success. “It was an important decision,” Howard says today. “I got a hard time for it across the board. If anything, it made me more resolute in [believing] that there were more interesting things to do. I couldn’t see me doing it any other way, so it was a bit of nonsense. I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. I don’t think I’ve ever expected that [repeating yourself] off artists I like.”

No defaults

Seven years along the line, Howard is still difficult to pin down. When asked about his approach to recording guitars, he’s reluctant to attach his colours to any one instrument, piece of equipment, or mode of working. “I have no tried and tested,” he admits. “I have no default setting. I make it quite difficult for myself and I definitely make it difficult for other people. It was more coming in with a load of strange ideas and seeing whether any of them were workable.

“I’m always fucking with the guitar, really, and trying to get something else out of it. There’s guitar through Moog. There’s always a lot of delay. I play guitar quite rhythmically, and I find it’s often more important than melody. There’s a weird fusion of the two when they’re in the right proportion. But, then again, I came in with a couple of top lines as well. My setup was all over the place.”

From the outside, Collections from the Whiteout suggests an approach that leans towards reshaping its guitars as elements within a wider firmament, manipulating them so as to remove the idea of a dominant force. But the opposite is true. Travelling to Dessner’s backyard in New York – pre-COVID, and pre-Dessner decamping to the forest to make Folklore and Evermore with Taylor Swift – threw up practical issues that they factored into their work. Howard travelled light, with only a 1920s Martin parlour guitar for company.

“We were constantly trying to make guitars sound like guitars,” Howard observes. “The picking is the backbone of it, but I’m always getting told off for trying to make weird noises. This process was trying to align it with something that was a bit more literate. It was nice to go back to the acoustics a lot more, and that was really an element of what guitars I could take because the customs are so strict. They always give you such a hard time, it’s such a welcome committee to America. You get the third degree. All of that shit feeds into making a record.”

On Collections From The Whiteout, the electric guitars also cover a lot of ground. Its shifting priorities mean immediately following the Mark Knopfler-esque leads of What A Day with the distorted skronk of the TV on the Radio-style Crowhurst’s Meme. Howard’s work, live and in the studio, is largely completed through the medium of Fender Jazzmaster. “It’s a ‘65, left-handed,” he says. “I’ve been looking for a left-handed Silvertone or something, but I end up finding a right-handed one and figuring out how to play that. I end up playing a lot of right-handed guitars upside down. I don’t think it’s very good for my playing, but it meant that I deep dived even more into delay world. Now, I’ve tidied it up and organised my life a bit, and I’m trying to fingerpick more.”

“I’ve never really understood what my guitar playing is and what purpose I have in the guitar world,” Howard admits, and this off-balance view of his work is stapled to Collections from the Whiteout. As time stretches away from Every Kingdom he appears to be both retreating into himself and broadening his horizons, as though the musical answers he’s after will be found both within and without.

“I don’t really approach writing in a set way,” he says. “This was an opportunity to experiment with words and music together and see where those little fusion points work and where they don’t. It’s the same with harmony. There are a lot of harmonies on this record that shouldn’t really work, but they did. It was work across the board in terms of vocals, musical arrangements, lyrics, fragments of poetry, obscure references, and I always struggle with the fact that I’m not succinct enough.

“I read something about Leonard Cohen years ago, that he was always trying to simplify things because he realised that made for a better song. I’ve always gone the other way because perhaps the weirder the better, I find. We’re obsessed with meaning these days. I’ve done a couple of interviews where, straight out of the gate, everything is ‘What does this mean, what does that mean?’ I find the question marks are the interesting part of it.”

Collections From The Whiteout is out now on Island Records. Ben Howard plays a one-off global live stream from Goonhilly Earth Station, Cornwall, on 8 April.

photos by Roddy Bow

[knivestothroats]

New series!! I don’t have enough I’m working on!! Basically I wanted to create something with less of a plot so I could just use the OCs/setting to do prompt fills n shit. 

(update: here’s the masterlist)

CW: gunshot wounds, guns in general, knives to throats (heh), death threats, not exactly hunted for sport but a similar vibe

~

Buck put all of his determination into running. He tore through the woods, trying not to limp or stumble through pure determination, but the adrenaline could only do so much for the pain, and the wound in his leg eventually brought him down.

Managing to steer his collapse, he half-fell, half-dove behind a tree and pressed his back up against it. He put one hand over his mouth, trying to muffle his own heavy breathing, and one hand over the bullet hole in his thigh.

Buck had no idea how much ground he had covered. Existence was disorienting. He could have been running for miles, he could have made it five feet. The shooter had been a good distance away, but Buck knew. He could feel the dread like cement in his stomach. He hadn’t made it far enough. The woods weren’t thick enough. They would find him.

There was a rustling close by. Buck flinched, his heart nearly giving out from beating so hard.

A person came into view from behind some trees, still partially shrouded by the undergrowth. Not one of the ones Buck had seen – not one of the ones who had shot at him. Just a hiker, he figured, dressed in a flannel, denim jacket, and a knit cap. They were walking past, in the direction Buck had come from, but they saw his form crumpled against the tree and stopped.

“Don’t go that way,” Buck hissed, not wanting to make too much noise. He tried to push himself upright, but the pain radiated out through his body. “We need to get out of here. Can you help… me….”

He trailed off as the hiker stepped out from behind their foliage cover, his eyes flickering down to the gun in their hand, dappled sunlight glinting off the metal.

The hiker pulled a walkie talkie from their belt and spoke into it, “I found your runner.”

A slightly distorted voice replied, “Copy,” and they returned the walkie to their hip. They approached Buck.

“Yeah, I can help you,” the hiker said, lowering to one knee in front of him. They draped their forearm over their leg, displaying their gun in a faux spectacle of casualness.

Buck sagged, letting his head fall back against the tree, and closed his eyes. His hands were still clamped around his leg.

“Well, let me see,” the hiker said. They gestured ever so slightly with their gun in the direction of his injury, not quite pointing it at him.

Buck very slowly let go of this thigh and held his hands in the air, blood from his palms beginning to drip down his arms.

The hiker looked at the wound for a second, their face framed by dark hair that hadn’t been tucked under their beanie. Buck was aware that strands of his own long hair were plastered to his skin, but he didn’t dare move to brush them away as the hiker turned their gaze to his face.

“You seem like a smart guy,” they said. “I’m going to put my gun in its holster. I trust that you know better than to try to make a grab for it. It won’t end well.”

Buck clenched his jaw and nodded.

The hiker holstered their weapon and shifted closer. They reached out for Buck’s leg, examining the injury. Buck hissed in pain as they shifted his limb, feeling for the entrance wound.

“Not bad. Bullet went straight through, so that’s good for you. Really clipped you on the edge here, more or less, so I don’t think it hit anything important.”

They drew their hands away. Buck hesitantly replaced his own, trying to cap the flow of blood as much as possible. He was already starting to feel lightheaded.

“Were you facing them or running away when you got shot?” the hiker asked.

Buck licked his lips. “I was running away.”

More rustling through the trees. Careless, and getting closer. Two figures emerged - the same two Buck had seen before. He could be sure, despite the distance in the previous encounter, because one of them immediately raised their rifle and pointed it at Buck.

“Lower your fucking weapon, Dayal,” the hiker ordered. “I am right here.”

Dayal pointed his rifle at the ground. His face twisted like a kid who got scolded by a teacher.

“We need to review gun safety later,” the hiker said.

“I know my gun rules,” Dayal protested.

“Yeah?” The hiker raised an eyebrow. “Recite them.”

“Assume the gun is loaded, don’t rest your finger on the trigger, don’t point the gun at anything you’re not going to shoot…” Dayal rattled them off.

“Yeah, Dayal,” the hiker interrupted. “So why the fuck were you pointing it at us?”

“I was pointing it at him!”

“Yeah,” the hiker stood. They took two purposeful steps toward Dayal, looking down on him. “And I was right. Fucking. There.” They pointed at Buck’s leg. “That’s your marksmanship, I take it?”

“Yeah,” Dayal answered uncertainly.

“Is that where you were aiming?”

Dayal said nothing.

“Mmhm. I wouldn’t bet my life on your aim.” The hiker turned back to Buck. “Someone fill me in quickly before this poor fucker bleeds out.”

“I got it,” the woman next to Dayal muttered. She pulled a scarf from around her neck and tied it tight around Buck’s wounded leg, eliciting a groan of pain.

“He was snooping around the grounds,” Dayal said.

“I wasn’t snooping,” Buck said, shaking his head weakly. His mouth felt so dry. “I wasn’t snooping. I was just – argh – hiking.”

The hiker – or whoever they really were – eyed Buck with a cold gaze.

“Summers, check him for weapons, bugs, anything of the sort,” they ordered.

The woman knelt down next to Buck and began to pat him down. The hiker watched carefully as Summers emptied his pockets, setting his phone, wallet, keys, a compass, and a small pocket knife on the ground. When she was finished, the hiker picked up his personal items. They opened his wallet and looked at his ID, flipped briefly through the keys, examined the compass, opened and closed the blade on the pocket knife. Finally, they held up the phone in front of the others.

“This is the most dangerous thing he has on him. More than the knife, even. Can anyone tell me why?”

“He can call for backup,” Dayal suggested.

“It can be tracked,” Summers said.

“Well, that’s what I – that would bring back up,” Dayal said.

“You’re both right,” the hiker said. “It can send information, basically. His location through tracking, and anything else he knows when he calls, texts, or uploads information. Now that we have it, any information on here could be useful to us to find out more about this guy. However, us having it is also dangerous because that means our location is being tracked. So I’m going to turn it off until we’re ready to go through it.” They powered the phone down. “Under different circumstances, it may be wise to just destroy the SIM card if you know the phone is more of a danger than an asset. And, if you’re dealing with the government, turning off the phone might not be enough…” the hiker looked down at Buck. “But I think we’re okay.”

They pocketed all of Buck’s items, except the knife. Instead they opened the blade again. It was small, but it was sharp, and it could still get the job done if it needed to. They knelt down close to Buck again.

“What’s your name, friend?” the hiker asked. They already knew the answer – they had seen his ID – but starting off with easy, innocuous questions is a good way to ease people into talking.

He swallowed. “Buck.”

“Do you know who I am?” the hiker asked.

Buck blinked in confusion, eyebrows pulling together briefly.

“No,” he said.

The hiker stared at him for a beat.

“The name’s Fletcher. Nice to meet you.” They rolled the knife in their hand. “You wanna make this easy and tell us what you’re doing here?”

“I’m really – I’m really hiking,” Buck insisted breathlessly. “I don’t know… what this is. And I don’t – I don’t want to know, and I don’t, uh, want to be involved, or, or, talk to anyone, or whatever, um, the concern is. I didn’t…” he covered his eyes with his hand – the back of his hand, as to not get blood on his face. “I didn’t even see your faces.”

Fletcher laughed and pulled his arm down.

“Okay, Buck. Answer me something else then.” They rested their arm on his shoulder. “Where’d you get this knife?”

Buck swallowed. “My – my father gave it to me.”

“Did you name it?”

“Uh… no. I didn’t,” Buck said.

Fletcher made a disapproving noise. “You should always name your weapons. They’re your partners.” They trailed the blade over his collar bone, past the collar of his shirt, and slowly up his throat, resting the point under his chin. Buck tilted his head back, unable to get away. “What do you use it for?”

“Um… I… uh, not – not a lot. J-Just, um, uh, opening things, mostly,” Buck stammered. “I, um, just always bring it with me hiking, just, uh, in case. I guess. I don’t – I don’t know what… I would use it for, really….”

“Yeah, about that,” Fletcher said, pulling away. “You’re pretty deep in the woods for a hike.”

“I’m… a serious hiker…” Buck said lamely. “I always hike for miles.”

“There’s no trail out here,” Fletcher said.

“Well, I have a compass,” Buck said. “So as long as I know which direction I came from, I can make it back.”

Fletcher stared at him, saying nothing. Buck, growing increasingly nervous under their gaze, spoke up again.

“Um, I’m not from around here, so if this is s-something where, like, everyone knows not to go into the woods, uh, I just didn’t get the memo, so…”

“Oh, you’re new in town?” Fletcher raised their eyebrows. “Or just visiting?”

“New, uh, new in town,” Buck said.

“Hmm. What brought you out here?”

“Um,” Buck shook his head, trying to focus his thoughts. “Just… needed a change of scenery, honestly.”

Fletcher said nothing, just stared again. Eventually, Dayal spoke up.

“What do you think?”

Fletcher smiled, folded the knife and slipped it into their pocket, and stood.

“You know what I think?” Fletcher began, smiling down on Buck. “I think this guy’s a survivor. I bet he could walk all the way back to the house on that leg.”

Buck’s eyes widened.

“You know why?” Fletcher continued. “Because he knows the only other option is to lay down and die in the dirt. Or, you know,” they shrugged to their companions. “Try to run away. But that’s not much of an option. So, what’s it gonna be, my dear?”

Buck’s eyes flickered to each of the faces of the people standing before him. Each time he was met with a detached expectancy and nothing more. He put one hand on the tree and began to slowly, agonizingly, stand up. He kept his weight on his left leg.

“Great!” Fletcher said. “Follow me.”

The others walked slowly through the woods, allowing Buck to limp along behind them. Every step was an exertion of energy he didn’t have. His head was swimming and pain was flowing through his body in waves. And, with whoever these people were, he was mostly likely walking to his death.

Buck came to a stop, leaning against a tree for support.

Once he got to this house, would he ever come back out? There was no way he could run away; he was hobbled and at least two of these people had guns. But was it any better to prolong the inevitable? To force his bleeding leg to carry him all these useless steps?

Buck sank to the ground. Fletcher stood over him.

“Just leave me here to die,” Buck said, sweat coating his ashen face.

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Fletcher said. “It’s not humane. I would put you out of your misery.”

Buck hung his head, breathing heavily, but raised his eyes to meet Fletcher’s gaze.

“What do you want with me?” he asked.

“I want to see if you can make it,” Fletcher said.

Buck tried to swallow, but his throat was dry. Fletcher put out their hand.

“Little help,” they said. “For free. Where would any of us be without help from others, right?”

Buck closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then reached out and took Fletcher’s hand. Fletcher steadied him as he struggled to his feet again. They kept walking.   

The house wasn’t far, but at Buck’s speed the group took a long time to get there. Buck was stumbling frequently, leaning on passing trees for support. He could feel sweat rolling down his skin.

Fletcher opened the door for Dayal and Summers to walk inside, before turning to Buck and waiting. Buck stood frozen, gazing into the dark doorway. His heart was pounding, blood screaming in his ears. He slowly became aware Fletcher was talking to him.

“Buck. Hey. Buck,” they snapped their fingers.

Buck turned his weak gaze from the doorway to Fletcher.

“Is there a problem here?”

“Of course there is,” Buck said, his voice dry and weak.

“You could still try to run,” Fletcher said, a wry smile tugging at the corners of their mouth.

Maybe it was better to be shot now than to face whatever would happen inside that house. Buck turned, ready to try his best to run. Put a real effort forth as his last act in life, even if he only gets a few steps in. 

Fletcher bolted forward, effortlessly knocking Buck to the ground. He stared up at them from where he lay prone on his back, squinting at the sun haloing Fletcher’s head. They put a boot on Buck’s chest and drew their gun from its holster. Not aiming it at him – just holding it in their hand, finger off of the trigger.

“Think this through,” Fletcher said gravely. “If you’re alive, there’s a chance. If you’re dead, you’re dead.”

Buck said nothing. He closed his eyes against the glare of the sun and tried to breathe with the boot on his chest.

“If that’s what you want,” Fletcher said, “I can give that to you. Or you can get up and walk inside, and we can stitch those bullet holes shut.”

“And then what?” Buck wheezed.

“Who knows,” Fletcher said. “We won’t know until we get there.”

Buck took a rattling breath, and then another. He raised his arm, trembling with the effort.

With a smirk, Fletcher stepped off his chest and leaned down to help him up.

Buck was swaying in the breeze, and Fletcher took his arm and wrapped it around their shoulders, holding him up with an arm around his waist.

“Well, Buck,” Fletcher said as they crossed the threshold, “welcome to The Hunting Lodge.”

(update: here’s the masterlist)

[bonbonbun-luna]

I hope you enjoy it! There is much more fluff with little Mari than salt, but I hope this is still good. At the end there are three drawings with Babynette. If you like it, I will write the second part with a detailed investigation of Lila from Sherlock. If you want to be tagged in this fic or in all my other future fics write about it!

The mystery of proper education

Mycroft Holmes was perfect in everything.

It was an indisputable truth, a fact, and almost a law. In the end, he personifies the British Government, being a perfect benchmark for everyone was his job.

Any business he undertook was carried out at the highest level, brushed to brilliance and presented with the most sophisticated chic. There was nothing Mycroft could not handle.

...Except, perhaps, one thing — he was a terrible nanny.

This fact was revealed to Holmes in childhood, when he was left with baby Sherlock. When Mycroft first saw the red little screeching lump, he was only about seven. There was no pinched soul of tenderness, a sudden awareness of kinship, or any other such nonsense. He looked at his younger brother with bewilderment and slight perplexity. The boy had no idea what to do with this screaming bundle.

However, Mycroft asked himself the same question even now, many years later, carrying a tiny Marinette in his arms. The chubby child, whom Holmes didn't hold very carefully by the armpits, looked at him with large blue-bell eyes, opening her small mouth, as if trying to express everything she thinks. However, whether she was able to even think at such an age was a mystery.

  The girl hiccuped and gleefully joyed, a thin strip of saliva flowed down her chin. Mycroft grimaced. Each time recalling how he ended up here, he wanted to strangle his sarcastic smirking brother.

The Cheng family had been familiar with the Holmes for quite some time, and mom adored inviting them to family evenings. At one of these evenings, the brothers met Sabina Cheng. She quickly liked Sherlock, sparkling with her smart eyes just like him. Boy never get tired of drawing her into troubles and all kinds of games, and she never get tired of helping him in them and listening to every rant in admiration. Over the years, they moved away, Cheng found herself in family life, and Sherlock chose to investigate people, but judging by the fact that Mycroft was now holding in his hands this thing, both actively maintained contact.

The older Holmes didn't have to wait long until his malicious brother suddenly began to talk at the Christmas dinner about Sabina's daughter and how Mycroft was definitely going to sit with her next weekend. Looking at his mother smiling happily and pulling a nervous smile in response, Mycroft vowed to destroy the petty bastard.

And now, as was said, he was left alone with this little blue-eyed monster. Of course, there was an option to call for a nanny, — even Anthea suggested it — but Mycroft was very responsible and carried out the work entrusted to him with all the best. Therefore, he stoically accepted the transfer of the child on his bail, despite the desire to strangle his malicious stupid brother.

«So», he began in a mentor tone, looking at the little thing that pulled toward him, «the first thing I will do when your parents and the nanny come back is to make them all realize how terrible my anger is. And then I'll say goodbye, and I will never see you again. Do you understand this?»

The child, joyfully yelling, only puffed up a bubble and clapped her hands in response. Stretching out his arms even more, holding the baby as far away from him as possible, Holmes identified her in the arena, where he was going to leave her from the very beginning, but as soon as he moved away more than three meters, there was a cry.

Moreover, she seemed to be mocking: as soon as he took a step further she began to sob, a step closer to her and she joyfully croaked and clapped her hands.

«I never agreed to become your clown», the man muttered through gritted teeth.

The little tyrant completely disagreed with this, and seemed to intend to get the desired attention. Mari looked at him with tremendous eyes for several seconds, as if waiting for him to come, but realizing that her new nanny was ignoring her, screamed.

Mycroft grimaced and began to approach the girl. She instantly fell silent and began to closely monitor him. When the man came very close, Netty giggled and joyfully pulled her hands to him. Holmes couldn't resist rolling his eyes.

Leaning toward the baby's face, he clearly pronounced, sharing words.

«I won’t take you in my arms, monster.»

The girl looked at him carefully, frowning at her nose, and then turned away, starting to play with the cubes. Feeling glee from victory, Mycroft was finally able to get to work. A few days ago, he decided that spending his precious time on such nonsense was simply stupid, and therefore, after weighing the pros and cons, he decided to work even in at such a difficult time so hard as possible. Therefore, having taken out several folders with the documentation from the diplomat, he settled down in his brother's chair and began reading, periodically calling up with Anthea and giving instructions.

Marinette played quietly in the arena, occasionally glancing at her nanny and becoming more upset with every second. Realizing that she was simply ignored, the girl decided to draw attention to herself.

After half an hour of work in silence, Holmes heard a methodical knock. Turning his head, the man saw how Netty calmly and with obvious pleasure hit the iron arena with a plastic cube. A fire of determination burned in her eyes, which man wanted to put out immediately. He took one cube from the girl. Second. Third. The last dice couldn't be taken — Mari threw it directly into her nanny's face in a fierce pant. Boiling with anger, Mycroft grabbed her shoulders and hissed softly.

«You will not do this. Not with me. And now immediately sit down like an obedient girl and try to fall asleep. Stop interrupting me.»

The bluenette silently blinked her huge eyes in complete silence and the man had already decided that the child sympathized with him and decided to calm down. He didn't know yet how much he was mistaken.

The girl’s lower lip quivered, small eyebrows moved to the bridge of her nose, and her eyes began to glisten sadly from grudges. Mari burst into tears. She howled loudly, plaintively stretching out the last note and sobbing frantically. Her face turned red, and the small hands clenched in fists, trying to hit the offender. Mycroft grimaced at a scream that seemed to even knock glass out of the windows.

«Little monster», the man muttered through his teeth and, slamming the folder, rose from his seat, wanting to calm the child as soon as possible.

Time for the elder Holmes flew by imperceptibly, but very noticeably. Two hours for which it would be possible to do a lot of things, solve critical issues, were spent on futile attempts to calm a frustrated child. When she finally calmed down, sniffing, struck seven evenings, which meant the time of feeding according to the schedule given to him. Mycroft was ready to howl, trying to realize that he had been wasting almost four hours.

«Marinette Dupain-Cheng», he turned to the child as seriously as possible, holding a spoonful of porridge in front of her, «Open your mouth. Right. Now.»

Mari stubbornly looked at the man, obviously not going to give up, and giggled, reaching for his spoiled jacket with her hands. Elder Holmes was pretty shabby, his hair lost its usual business look, an expensive jacket was stained with baby puree, and his face was crooked in the most suffering of all possible grimaces.

«Okay, you win», Mycroft closed his eyes and counted to himself to three, gathering his courage and stuffing the remnants of pride to hell, «Say “aah”», he held out and smiled wryly.

The girl trembled and sobbed her nose, starting to cry again.

«I hate children», breathed Holmes and hit his forehead against the countertop.

The girl was silent. A moment of blissful silence seemed to the man an eternity, for which he was ready to give all the blessings of the world. The indistinct meow from the child's side distracted him from contemplating the wood and, looking up at the girl with a tired look, asked:

« Are you satisfied? I see that you are. How should I feed you? Do you like airplanes?», Marinette flashed happy eyes, clapping her hands.

Mycroft sighed, thinking sadly about how he could get here.

«Okay, ahem», scooping up a new spoonful of porridge, Holmes took a serious look, «B-2 bomber, asking for permission to land, open the hangar»

Giggling and blushing joyfully, the girl opened her mouth and ate half the porridge from the spoon, letting the rest go down her chin.

«And who will they grow out of you at such a pace? Destruction of the whole nation?»

The man sighed and wiped her face with a napkin. The bluenette smacked her lips joyfully, smiling. Then things went a lot more fun, and Boeing F, Saab JAS 39 Gripen, Su-30MKI and many other combat vehicles were asked for permission to land. When Holmes realized that the girl had a serious love for the laws, things got even easier, especially under the recitation of the constitution.

Mycroft and Mari gradually moved to the sofa, where the man began to read the child a new bill and soon didn't notice how he fell asleep

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

The flick of the camera shutter didn't disturb either the child or the humble British government. Sherlock grinned sarcastically, hiding the dirt on his brother in his coat pocket.

Sabina and Tom smiled, looking at their happily sleeping daughter. The next day, a photo came to Mycroft's phone from which he had the opportunity to examine a pretty picture: disheveled and tired, in a dream he carefully holds Marinette, drooling on his jacket. The first thought was to strangle the brother. The second thought was the idea for a new victory. And the little Dupeng-Cheng actively participated in this idea. He grinned.

Sherlock looked bored at the wall, feeling a faint irritation.

John left a couple of hours ago, drove Rosie to school, Mrs. Hudson almost imperceptibly rustled below, preparing a new batch of cakes, and new interesting crimes never appeared.

The man gave nicotine patches with a disinterested look, a pale spot standing out on his skin. With a thoughtful grunt, the man got up from his beloved chair, thinking of taking a violin, when suddenly the buzz of the phone interrupted him.

Bending his head to one side, he quickly began combing the caller.

John forgot the phone today, Mycroft was sorting out a bunch of cases that had recently surfaced, Lestrade was actively trying to hide crimes from him (which weren't even worth Sherlock’s attention), Sabina said that they would have to participate in one of the Gala concerts, delivering their pastries, and she recently tried to find Marinette a nanny in that city, mom passed messages to him through his brother...

Sabina.

She said she would bring Mari for a short meeting, to talk about something with Mrs. Hudson. She was looking for a nanny due to the fact that Sherlock was going to plunge headlong into the work that day, where she strictly forbade him to take her daughter.

Apparently, it seems that the nanny canceled the plans at the last second and now woman agrees to anyone, who could take good care of her daughter.

At first she tried to call John, but apparently didn't get through, Mycroft wasn't even in the city, and Sherlock was the last hope.

He answered after the third beep.

«Next time I advise you to look for three people at once, who would agree to help. No, I'm not busy. No, I will not take her to investigate the crime, I din't have one. Yes, Mrs. Hudson is at home and yes, John is at work.»

After a short silence, a nervous voice rang out in the receiver.

«You really won't lead her to an investigation?»

«Really.»

«Oh, thank God. Sherlock, you are a lifesavior! I will bring her in an hour. You can’t imagine how much she wanted to see you. I hope this is not a problem, it’s so bad for me to leave her alone...», women's tone became softer and much calmer, a sigh of relief rang out in the tube.

«That's fine. We will definitely have fun.»

Sherlock hung up, peeling nicotine patches with cunning smile.

«After all, I never say anything about the morgue.»

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

Marinette has always been an interesting kid.

While almost everyone hated Holmes, considering him as an arrogant moron, it was almost impossible to find someone, who would take him for an ordinary person. Yes, he had John and Rosie and he was pleased with it, in the end, he never needed someone else's attention, only a mystery, but...

It was different.

They loved listen to his conclusions, admired his thinking, obviously enjoyed dangerous situations (Rosie totally has this genetic), but that was just that.

But Marinette?

She absorbed everything that he said, his every word, thinking, conclusion, like a sponge. She remembered his actions and carefully watched his every move, intrigued by someone interesting.

And when girl turned four, she came to visit them again, and then analyzed John with slight interest, easily describing the last three hours that he spent.

Holmes then watched her almost admiringly, learning all that he had ever shown the baby. It was his way of thinking and she happily used it. The girl proudly caught shocked looks, smiling sweetly at John, who was pale with fright, and not noticing suspiciously quiet Holmes.

She took Sherlock as an example and it was an invaluable, incomparable feeling.

The bluenette wasn't afraid of blood, listened with interest to lectures on the types of ashes, considered going to the morgue as holiday, and crimes as pies. She was stubborn, arrogant and damn smart.

And Sherlock could not deny that he involuntarily saw himself in her.

Smart, but lonely, she spent all days helping at the bakery and almost crying from boredom. Holmes will never allow himself to left her alone with this problem.

Grinning, the man shook his head, heading for the shower to wash off all the smell of nicotine. Sherlock had very little time left, he needed to get Hooper to find at least something remotely worthwhile.

He heard how Mrs. Hudson, who obviously overheard the conversation, quietly poking around in the kitchen. The woman adored Marinette and actively competed with the girl’s parents in baking, inventing new recipes. Rosie admitted that she was almost jealous, but it still didn't stop the younger Watson to eat cakes with pleasure.

After leaving the shower, he changed clothes and hastened to call Molly, hoping to arrange for Netty the best detective day that could be done.

In the end, the bored baby more than deserved a good unsolved crime.

Sherlock always knew what it is when your business is taken away from you, therefore he always delimited his care of Marinette from arrogance.

When the magical terrorist, named Hawkmoth appeared in Paris, and Marinette showed up as a Ladybug, he let it go.

They had a long confrontation, screams didn't subside either on Baker Street or in the bakery in Paris, but after seeing her resolute look a week later and hearing a firm voice, he let go of it.

It was not his battle, and she already had a hunch, so he gave her her first major crime.

When Chloe attacked her and stole the work, he let it go. The bluenette was strong and cunning, she won and he was proud.

When a new girl at school called herself her best friend and lied about a relationship with him, he let it go. Marinette instantly exposed her, forcing the little fox to tighten her tail and run away for several months.

When the same girl, Lila, threatened his niece, he let it go. Marinette knew what give priority to and instantly got rid of everyone, who easily threw her away.

But when Mari was loudly and shamefully kicked out of school without the slightest evidence, research and banal verification of facts, he could not let this go.

Sherlock arrived in Paris three days later, loud and arrogant, as always, ignoring the shocked looks that cast on him.

He conducted a maximum of research, didn't sleep at night, didn't eat or drink, but dug up all the dirt, that he could find on Rossi.

The little fox, who attacked everyone whom she considered even the slightest threat, never concealed evidence, confident that her charm and lies would be enough for everyone. Unfortunately, Sherlock was immune to such nonsense, relying on facts and himself. And he was sick of Lila Rossi.

In whatever school the Italian appeared, there was a major scandal, at the end of which many of her “bullies” suddenly tragically ended up either completely alone, afraid of every person around them, or did not endure stress and passed away.

This parody of the investigation finally convinced Holmes that all people are idiots. It took him three days to collect at twenty schools, in which a small liar ever was, such huge folders of evidence that not one of them could fit on the table. And when he, with his usual disinterested face, threw these folders in front of the nose of the Italian government, the man could not help but grin.

A resentful Marinette shouted at him from the phone, that “she could have dealt with everything herself”, and a fire broke out behind him out of anger and frustration.

He was Sherlock Holmes.

And he had his own ways of raising children.

[aloysiavirgata]

Love’s Austere and Lonely Offices

Title:  Love’s Austere and Lonely Offices

Author: Aloysia Virgata

Rating: PG 

Words: 5758

Timeline: Season 9

Summary:   “ A letter is in fact the only device for combining solitude and good company.” -- Jacques Barzun

Author’s Notes: This fic was written in 2015. I couldn't bear the thought of their only communication in all that time being the "Dearest Dana" letters. (Which I added to just a teeny-weeny bit. Also added a little to Scully's Carterlogue to William.) Scully quotes from (what else?) Moby Dick and Mulder from The Divine Comedy. The title is from Those Winter Sundays by Robert Hayden. 

Fe3O4 is magnetite and R2NCl is chloramine. I know my little ads are cryptic, so there's an addendum at the end for those interested parties. (See the end of the work for more notes.)  

Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, May 26 2001 In this world, shipmates, Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas Virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers. R2NCl + H2O = Bellefleur + Braddock Heights? So claims a woman with node at C5 **** Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, May 29 2001 These have not the hope to die. Developments? Nothing on my end. **** E-Mail From: Trust_No1@mail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 18 Jun 2001 Things are calm for now and hopefully communication can be somewhat regular for a time. I have a cash-under-the-table job at the moment and it covers basic needs. I know you wanted to come, but this is no life for a child. I will be home as soon as I am able. I know that goes without saying, but it makes me feel better to say it anyway. I have to go now. Tell me about William. **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 18 Jun 2001 Mulder, It's so good to hear from you, you have no idea. Have you made any progress yet? There have been strange goings-on since you left, but I don't know what to make of any of it. I don't know whom to trust right now and just tell everyone I cannot contact you. I have not been able to make any sense of my last inquiry and am at a standstill. Please tell me everything you discover and let me know what I can do. Don't leave me in the dark on this, Mulder. You can't protect us that way. Let me be of use. Things are fine here. William eats well and sleeps less well, but I nap when I can. He's growing nicely and can focus his eyes for very long periods already and tracks objects at two feet away. His head control is excellent and he is already making deliberate reaches for objects rather than just grasping reflexively. He makes a gurgling sound if I run my finger up the midline of his foot. In addition to snapshots and videos, I have been keeping a journal of all of his changes for when you get back. My mother helps as much as she can but the truth is I prefer to be alone. She wants to talk, and doesn't understand that I just can't right now. I think she's afraid of the quiet and fills it up with noise. She talks to me but doesn't say anything. You know how to let me be silent, Mulder. I miss that. Frohike says William looks like me and Byers says he looks like you and Langly says he looks like Jack Ruby. Which is pretty much what you'd expect to hear from the three of them. Write when you can. Pictures attached. **** E-Mail From: Trust_No1@mail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 22 Jun 2001 He still looks like Skinner to me, your feeble protestations of fidelity aside. He's got your eyes, Scully, and I wonder whose warped sense of humor he's going to claim. I'm not surprised he's ahead of the developmental curve. You read him Brian Greene while you were pregnant. That sets the bar rather high for a baby. Let your mother in. You're all she has nearby and she won't forgive herself for everything that's happened if you don't. Smile and nod, Scully. You do it better than anyone I know. Learn to let people love you. I haven't found much yet because I don't even know what the hell I'm looking for. **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 23 Jun 2001 We can only hope that his sense of humor is all his own. I think our particular brand of amusement wouldn't go over too well with the preschool set. Can you imagine Career Day, Mulder? We're going to have to be vague. Pictures of William attached, including one of him eating my hair. Have to run. Stay safe. **** E-Mail From: Trust_No1@mail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 28 Jun 2001 We'd be a hit at Career Day. You could tell them about your Invisible Guy Autopsy. And you know all the kids would want to hear about my time in low orbit. I'm leaving here soon, so it may be a while before I contact you again. Thank you for the pictures. I cannot believe how William has grown. He looks like his own man now instead of just a newborn. I know I once said I never saw you as a mother before, but I must not have been paying attention. You're beautiful, Scully. I miss you both constantly. **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 29 Jun 2001 Mulder, I hope nothing serious has happened to necessitate this move and that you have made some headway. I am still having no luck. I'm going to start teaching at Quantico soon. I feel like I'm abandoning you in some way, Mulder. Abandoning our work. But I can't do field work like I used to - not with William - and Doggett and Reyes are doing a good job. I think you'd be impressed. William has been going to sleep at around 10 at night and sleeping until 6 or so. He is such an easy baby and already a hit with the ladies. I bring him to work sometimes and he's quite popular. Skinner gave him a stuffed McGruff the Crime Dog, but he prefers the doll you gave him and sleeps with it now. He's still rather small for the basketball, but that was never my sport anyway. I played field hockey, so free-throw instruction falls to you. Attached is a video of William laying on Skinner's desk. Stay safe. **** E-Mail From: Trust_No1@mail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 19 Jul 2001 He spit up on Skinner's desk? I could watch that all day. You're damned lucky it wasn't Kersh's or you'd be freezing your ass off in a Minnesota field office right now. And of course he's a hit with the ladies, Scully. Not everyone's as hard of a sell on the Mulder men as you. I made it to Wal-Mart and printed out some of those pictures you sent. Keep them coming. Don't ever feel like you're abandoning the work. The most important thing is that you and William stay safe and chasing mutants and government conspirators isn't really conducive to that. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that you're okay. The job at Quantico will be good for you both. I'm doing a little air guitar of "Hot For Teacher" right now… **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 23 Jul 2001 Mulder, I'm sorry it has taken me a bit to get back to you. My mother and I took William to the beach for a couple of days. I dipped his feet in the surf and I was reminded that seawater has a similar chemical makeup to both blood and amniotic fluid. We crawled from those primordial seas so many millions of years ago and carry some of it inside of us to this day. I know you get seasick, but I think we are hardwired to crave the ocean and I want to take William sailing when he's older. I think he has the genes for it. You may not be a sailor, Mulder, but you know the unquenchable lure of the unknown and thrill of riding out a storm. I had a good time with my mom and tried to do as you suggested. She asked after you and I am confident that whatever else she thinks of my life, she accepts that you're an integral part of it. I start teaching next month and I must confess to some anxiety. It has been so long since I stood in front of a lecture hall. I've gotten used to an audience of one for my technical soliloquies. And Van Halen, Mulder? Really? What happened to the King? **** E-Mail From: Trust_No1@mail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 4 Aug 2001 Was it Chincoteague, Scully? It's right around Pony Penning Day, isn't it? When he's bigger we'll get a place out in the country and let him pick out a pony of his own. And hell, I'll take some Dramamine and we'll all go sailing too. Get out your list-making paper and get to work. I'll be back soon and we'll have the rest of our lives to get it done. P.S. - I always kind of got turned on by your technical soliloquies, so you may want to be careful around some of your more discriminating students. **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 5 Aug 2001 Mulder, We went to Assateague, actually, but he did see the ponies and we found horseshoe crabs washed up on the shore. Despite 445 million years of existence, they've scarcely changed at all. It makes you think, I suppose. All the work we humans do to better ourselves and horseshoe crabs have attained perfection. And a pony?! That's a pretty heavy upgrade from your fish. I was thinking we could move more slowly from Cyprinidae to Perissodactyla. Perhaps a stop at Rodentia would be appropriate if you want to venture into mammalian territory. (Are you getting turned on by this?) William holds his head up and looks around without any trouble at all. He wants desperately to sit up and is so frustrated that he can't manage it yet. Any news? **** Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, August 13, 2001 For where the instrument of intelligence is added to brute power and evil will, mankind is powerless in its own defense. Fe3O4 + R2NCl = ? **** Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, August 15, 2001 And some certain significance lurks in all things, else all things are little worth... I'll let you know if I hear anything. **** E-Mail From: knitterific@earthlink.net To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 20 Aug 2001 Let me know if we can move lunch on Wednesday to 12:30. I printed out pictures from our trip and made you some copies. I will bring William's Celeste Sun toy with me at lunch if that's okay with you. Charlie, Larissa and the kids are coming in for Christmas this year. Talk to you soon. Mom **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: knitterific@earthlink.net Date: 21 Aug 2001 Mom, That would be fine. Thank you for printing the pictures for me, and William will be fine without Celeste until Wednesday. **** Letter received on September 8, 2001 William Mulder 107 E. Cordova St. Apt. 35 Washington, DC., 01833 8-14-01 Dear William, I can only hope this finds its way to you but even if it doesn't, it's something I had to get on paper. Walking away from you and your mother is the single most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. I did it for reasons that I tell myself are right and noble, so why do I feel like I've let you both down? All I want is for you to be safe and I tell myself that leaving and searching for answers is the best way to do that. But the truth is, William, that your old man isn't making much headway here. Your mother sends me pictures and videos of you and sometimes at night I can close my eyes and recall your new-earthling smell. But it's not the same. I know your mother and I know that every night she shows you my picture and tells you I'll be home soon. I don't want to make a liar of her and I promise you both I'm doing the best I can. Every day I fight the urge to let this all go and come home, but I feel I have more to accomplish before I return. One day I hope you will understand all of this. One day I hope I will. I have no real wisdom to offer you, but let me at least tell you this. I have made many mistakes in my life, but through them all, I have tried to do what I feel is honest. And I have learned - as you doubtlessly will - that the right thing is not often the easy thing. I don't know what this world is going to be like when you are older or what role you will have in it, but to thine own self be true, William. I hope to see you soon. And in case your mother forgets to tell you: Elvis > Three Dog Night Hips before hands The Knicks will always be better than the Miami Heat Love, Your father **** E-Mail From: Trust_No1@mail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 12 Sep 2001 Scully, let me know you're okay. I know you don't work at the Pentagon, but please check in. On the move again, but will write as soon as possible. **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 13 Sep 2001 Mulder, We are fine and no one we know was hurt. While it feels as though the world is falling apart, knowing you're okay gives me something to hang on to. There's a long line of people waiting for this computer so I must run, but I got your letter to William. Be careful. We miss you. **** Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, September 17, 2001 There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke… Quantum suicide? **** Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, September 18, 2001 And downward to the secret things we went Biloxi MI - 6/ 86 Camden NJ - 11/91 **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 20 Sep 2001 Mulder, Thank you for your help on the case. Do you have any updates on your end? Not much to tell here. I'm enjoying teaching very much; the students are so engaged and interested. It's a nice change from the endless parade of world-weary cops and agents. Were we ever that fresh-faced and eager? Thinking of you and aching to see you. **** E-Mail From: Trust_No1@mail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 23 Sep 2001 It is no longer safe for me to contact you. **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 24 Sep 2001 Mulder, What's going on? Please find a way to let me know what's happening. **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 13 Oct 2001 Mulder, William and I baked a cake and we sang Happy Birthday to your picture. We went shopping for presents and William picked out an oven mitt. I tried to steer him towards the Yankees DVD collection, but he was adamant that you needed protective gear. I have begun to entertain theories of genetic memory. Please let us know you're all right. Many happy returns of the day. **** E-Mail From: rocbronzin@rutgers.edu To: dana_scully@fbi.gov Date: 17 Oct 2001 Hey there partner. Wanted to thank you again for the CPR. They don't really cover that in entomology doctoral programs though, so I'm hard pressed to return the favor. I know you're a mother but I assume you still eat so let me know if you want to grab a bite next time I'm in DC. **** E-Mail From: dana_scully@fbi.gov To: rocbronzin@rutgers.edu Date: 19 Oct 2001 Dr. Bronzino, Thank you very much for the offer, but it would not be appropriate at this time. Dana Scully **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 25 Oct 2001 Mulder, I know you can't tell me where you are and I am trying to respect what you're doing but this feels impossible sometimes. Not everything has to be a crusade, does it? You wanted to find your sister and while it wasn't the resolution you wanted, you found out the truth. Isn't that enough? We can have a life now. We have a son who needs both of his parents. Let this go, Mulder. **** E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 4 Nov 2001 Mulder, I don't even know why I'm writing this. I don't even know if you're alive. Attached are pictures of William in his Halloween costume. He went as a skunk and can sit up perfectly. **** Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, November 21, 2001 Lost: Norwegian Elkhound Answers to Heinrich Come home, Heinrich We miss you ****                                        

                                                                                     December 3, 2001

Mulder,

I am so concerned for your safety right now that it is overwhelming. I am trying not to be angry with you - truly I am - but it isn't easy. I know what you've told me, I know we discussed all of this and I know we agreed it was for the best, but the reality is proving far different than the theory. As a scientist, I ought to have expected it and yet I was completely blindsided.

I asked you once years ago if we could just get out of the car and you looked at me like I was crazy and you kept driving. And I stayed. Hundreds of thousands of miles I've traveled with you, Mulder. Endless black ribbons of highways full of nightmares and lost souls and we went after them with badges and guns because we had a job to do.

But I'm asking you now - not as your partner, but as the mother of your child - to get out of the goddamned car. I can't live like this anymore, Mulder, and I will not subject William to it.

I love you but I cannot do this for the rest of my life.

I have nowhere to send this letter.

****

                                                                                                                             December 15, 2001

Mulder,

William said "Da" when he saw your picture today. I have a video.

****

E-Mail From: phishphood66@yahoo.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 20 Dec 2001

Hey Danes -

Our gang's catching an earlier flight from Puerto Vallarta and I wanted to see if you'd be free for dinner. I'm trusting you to pick a not-shitty restaurant because last time I left it up to Bill he said he knew of a "really good Italian place" and took us to the fucking Olive Garden and I swear to God Tara put some of those breadsticks in her purse.

Can't wait to meet my new nephew (you have a kid, Danes!) and see if either of my rugrats is taller than you yet. They're growing like weeds and Larissa's firm is keeping us in Mexico until the resort's finished, so they're all sun-kissed and blonde and I'm mostly a giant freckle.

Mom specifically told me not to ask about William's father, so I'm asking. This Fox guy…what's up with him? Is he good to you? Bill paints him as a kind of Anton LeVay meets Forrest Gump character, but Bill thinks condoms are Satan's party balloons, so what the hell does he know about relationships?

I'm bringing a case of fine champanya to ring in the new year.

Charlie

****

E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: phishphood66@yahoo.com Date: 20 Dec 2001

Charlie,

I can't wait to see you all! It's been far too long since your jet-setting crew has ventured this way. Things with William's father are complicated, but it's due to factors beyond either of our control. I don't mean to be curt, but that's all I can say right now.

Dinner would be great. William still doesn't go to bed until fairly late and can be kept happy with a steady supply of food. He has an excellent pincer grasp.

Did Bill really take you to the Olive Garden? That's classic.

****

                                                                                                                             December 31, 2001

Mulder,

We celebrated Christmas at my mother's and Bill and Charlie and their families flew in. I have lots of pictures to show you of all of the kids together. William is babbling like a champion and I gave him a crayon to draw a picture for you on the back of this card, so turn it over. I remember New Year's Eve two years ago. Zombies, Mulder. And then you kissed me and here I am wishing maybe the world had ended after all because I'm remembering zombies with fondness and what the hell is wrong with my life and my God I miss you.

There was half a bottle of champagne left and now I'm drunk.

Happy New Year

Putting this card with your other unsent mail.

****

                                                                                                                                 January 1, 2002 Dear William,

One day, you'll ask me to speak of a truth - of the miracle of your birth. To explain what is unexplained. And if I falter or fail on this day, know there is an answer, my child, a sacred imperishable truth, but one you may never hope to find alone. Chance meeting your perfect other, your perfect opposite, your protector and endangerer. Chance embarking with this other on the greatest of journeys; a search for truths fugitive and imponderable. If one day this chance may befall you, my son, do not fail or falter to seize it. The truths are out there. And if one day you should behold a miracle, as I have in you, you will learn the truth is not found in science, or on some unseen plane, but by looking into your own heart. And in that moment you will be blessed - and stricken. For the truest truths are what hold us together, or keep us painfully, desperately apart.

Know this, William, for it is the most important thing I can hope to teach you: It is not a weakness to love someone. There may come a time when it will be the only strength you have.

****

E-Mail From: Trust_No1@mail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 07 Jan 2002

Dearest Dana

I've resisted contacting you for reasons I know you continue to appreciate. But, to be honest, some unexpected dimensions of my new life are eating away at any resolve I have left. I'm lonely, Dana, uncertain of my ability to live like this. I want to come home. To you, and to William.

****

E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 07 Jan 2002

I am physically shaking right now seeing your words - wishing it were you speaking them to me. I want so badly to see you too, but you are still not safe here. You don't sound like yourself, Mulder, and it's frightening me.

Where in the world have you been?

****

E-Mail From: Trust_No1@mail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 07 Jan 2002

I've seen things I cannot accept and don't know how to change. I feel like the fight has gone out of me and all I want is to come back and put this time behind us.

I will be home soon.

Details to follow in the usual manner.

****

Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, January 8, 2002

It was evening here But upon earth the very noon of night.

ncrl

****

E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 10 Jan 2002

Mulder,

I hold no hope you can respond to this. Or that it reaches you. I only hope that you are alive.

I cannot help believing that you jumped off that train because you knew what I now know - that these "super-soldiers" - if that's what they are - can in fact be destroyed. That the key to their destruction lies in the iron compound at that quarry.

I am scared for you, Mulder. And for William. The forces against us are unrelenting. But so is my determination to see you again. To regain the comfort and safety we shared for so brief a time. Until then, I remain forever yours,

Dana

****

Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, January 14, 2002

The whale, like all things that are mighty, wears a false brow to the common world.

Fe3O4

****

Letter received on January 27, 2002

Dana Scully 107 E. Cordova St. Apt. 35 Washington, DC., 01833

1-16-02

Not much time to write Sorry so short saw your note Agreed on Fe3O3 though not sure how yet Love to you both

****

                                                                                                                            February 2, 2002

Mulder,

I got your last letter and nearly wept with relief to hear from you. I hope this can all end soon. I pray you stay safe until then.

Not sure what the weather is like where you are, but the most beautiful snow has fallen here. William and I have been playing in it at every opportunity and there's a respectable snowman in front of my building now. William likes to eat the snow and blinks when the flakes cling to his eyelashes. He looks more like you every day.

I send regards from Skinner and the Gunmen and my mother lights candles for you.

I wish I had an address to send this to.

****

E-Mail From: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com To: Trust_No1@mail.com Date: 11 Feb 2002

Mulder,

I am hesitant to contact you in this way because I know it is a risk, but I am beginning to fear the worst for William. I don't know what he is but someone does and they are trying to hurt him. I have been working with Reyes and we suspect it all goes back to that artifact I found in Africa, though I can't say I truly understand it. My mother says our son is a miracle and that I must simply accept him as that. But how can I do that, Mulder? After what happened to Emily, how can I not want to know how he came to be whatever he is?

William has been taken from me twice now and I am starting to despair of ever being able to protect him. All the sacrifices we're making right now - what if it comes to nothing? I don't know what to do.

****

E-Mail From: MAILER-DAEMON@n55.bullet.mail.sp1.hotmail.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 11 Feb 2002

Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message to the following address.

< trust_no1@mail.com >

****

Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, February 23, 2002

O lady, you in whom my hope gains strength, you who, for my salvation, have allowed your footsteps to be left in Hell, in all the things that I have seen, I recognize the grace and benefit that I, depending upon your power and goodness, have received. You drew me out from slavery to freedom by all those paths, by all those means that were within your power. Do, in me, preserve your generosity, so that my soul, which you have healed, when it is set loose from my body, be a soul that you will welcome.

****

Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, February 24, 2002

Let faith oust fact; let fancy oust memory; I look deep down and do believe.

****

Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, March 20, 2002

All men live enveloped in whale-lines. All are born with halters round their necks; but it is only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life.

Gunmen dead.

****

E-Mail From: dana_scully@fbi.gov To: john_doggett@fbi.gov Date: 26 Mar 2002

John,

My thoughts are with you and Barbara at this time. Take care.

Dana Scully

****

E-Mail From: john_doggett@fbi.gov To: dana_scully@fbi.gov Date: 26 Mar 2002

Thanks Dana. It's been hard but the closure has come as a relief after all this time. I hope you are coming to terms with your own loss as well. They were the good guys.

John Doggett

****

                                                                                                                          April 20, 2002

Mulder,

I have come to an act of desperation. I have had no way of contacting you - no way to talk this over with you - and so I had to make this choice alone. I have had assurances that our information is to be expunged from every record and I tell myself moment by moment that this is his only chance at a normal life, but what if I have made a mistake that can never be undone?

I vacillate between thinking I have sacrificed my own happiness for his and thinking I have sacrificed him because I am not strong enough to accept what he is. What if that's the case? What if I was just too afraid to see him suffer? Watching Emily die slowly through the glass left me so cold I thought I'd freeze everything I touched, but I didn't know how to grieve for her. They had no right to take those ova from me, no right to create her, and no right to destroy her. She was supposed to be mine and whatever other children were created should have been mine also. But by the time I came to terms with the fact that I was truly her mother, she was already gone. What if the same fate was in store for William? I don't know that I could have stood it.

All I wanted was a child - your child, as the years went on - and I just cannot understand why anyone would create these lives for the express purpose of later destroying them. I don't think we can ever fully know what William means to the Project, but they wanted him dead, Mulder. They wanted to take our son and kill him and would have in time and came close even as I watched over him, and all this before he turned a year old. Jeffrey Spender came to me - terrible things have been done to him - and said that no matter what he did to undo the changes to his little body, William would never have any peace from the men who have been working towards the ends you and I have been fighting.

I believed him, Mulder. I looked into his ruined face and I believe he was telling me the truth and I believe it still. I did the only thing I could think of to protect our son and I can only hope now that you can forgive me.

I don't know what else to do but keep going. It's all I've ever known how to do.

****

E-Mail From: wjscully8@navy.mil To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 22 Apr 2002

Dana, what in the hell have you done? Pick up your goddamned phone.

I just got off the phone with mom a little while ago and she's half-hysterical and I'm not far from it myself. What were you thinking? You put your son up for adoption, Dana? That really struck you as the best possible solution? That's what you have a family for. To help you. And no matter how bad things were you should have come to us. I don't know what has happened to you over the years and I don't think I even know who you are anymore, because my sister would never have done something so insane.

We could have taken him in for you if you couldn't deal with being a single mother. God knows where Fox is and why you put up with the crap he dishes out is beyond me, but he has molded you into a woman I don't recognize and I think there is something severely wrong with both of you.

I have faith that you are not beyond salvation, Dana, but you need to cut your ties with him. Come out to San Diego and stay with us. I have already contacted an attorney about having the adoption reversed and because of the extreme emotional duress you've been under he thinks there's a very good shot that Tara and I can get temporary custody while you get your life back together.

It's not too late for you. We love you and want to help, but you have to let us. I am praying for you.

Your brother,

Bill

****

E-Mail From: phishphood66@yahoo.com To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 22 Apr 2002

Hey Squirt. Just got an earful from Bill. Mom's too freaked out to be coherent.

I don't know what the fuck is up with you the past few years Danes, but the shit seems to have royally hit the fan of your life. Despite what Bill thinks, you were always the smartest one of us and if this is what you thought was right, well, I guess I have to trust that. I'm just so sorry that you're dealing with this.

We're moving to Marrakech in June for a restaurant Larissa's designing and we have this awesome house with plenty of room for decompressing Feds. Take some leave and come stay for a while.

Worried about you, big sister.

Charlie

****

E-Mail From: knitterrific@earthlink.net To: Queequeg0925@hotmail.com Date: 24 Apr 2002

Dana, I am so worried about you and I think you might need some professional help. Please return my calls. We need to talk.

I love you.

Mom

****

E-Mail From: monica_reyes@fbi.gov To: dana_scully@fbi.gov Date: 25 Apr 2002

Dana

Please call if you ever need to talk. I am here for you.

Monica

****

E-Mail From: d_scully@fbi.gov To: m_reyes9@fbi.gov Date: 25 Apr 2002

Monica,

Thank you for your concern. I'm going to be fine. I will be back to work on Monday.

****

E-Mail From: j_doggett3@fbi.gov To: d_scully@fbi.gov Date: 25 Apr 2002

I hope this finds you well. Just wanted to see how you were doing.

John Doggett  

****

E-Mail From: d_scully@fbi.gov To: j_doggett3@fbi.gov Date: 25 Apr 2002

John,

Thank you for your concern. I'm going to be fine. I will be back to work on Monday.

****

E-Mail From: reits@clinicalassociates.com To: dana_scully@fbi.gov Date: 9 May 2002

Dr. Scully,

My name is John Reits and I am a parapsychologist. I'd like to meet with you concerning a former patient of mine. Please contact me at this address or give me a call at 714-555-0146.

****

E-Mail From: walter_skinner@fbi.gov To: dana_scully@fbi.gov Date: 19 May 2002

Scully -

Do you ever answer your phone anymore? I need to see you in my office at once. Drop what you are doing and get over here now.

It's about Mulder.

****

The End

****

Notes:

Addendum:

R2NCl + H2O = Bellefleur + Braddock Heights? So claims a woman with node at C5

The Warrior Princess Super-Soldier chick had a node on the back of her neck (around the C5 vertebra) and had informed Scully that chloramine was being introduced into the water supply to transform the populace into super-soldiers. Scully was reminded of the water tampering in Braddock Heights (Wetwired).

****

Fe3O4 + R2NCl = ?

Mulder has discovered evidence of a connection between chloramine and magnetite, but isn't sure what it is.

****

Quantum suicide?

Scully's hoping to get some help on the case from 4D. Quantum suicide - as it pertains to the many-worlds interpretation and the case - encompasses the idea that all moments (however unlikely) with possibilities of occurrence greater than zero are experienced in some dimension.

Mulder's reply is just directing her to some related case files. Which I made up.

****

It was evening here But upon earth the very noon of night.

ncrl

Mulder's train will arrive at the New Carrollton train station at midnight