#its for a position ive never been in so if i make it awesome but if i dont then someone whos got more experience at it did

[itachikun]

getting this business case done since tuesday and im being so brave about it

[imhavingdifficulties]

[libbytwq]

hey can i be sappy for a moment, i feel like getting a thing off my chest (positive vent)

I love you all in the SMG4 Tumblr community so much. Y'all are absolutely epic and amazing and so creative and just. chill.

I've always been so nervous about joining set fandoms/fandom communities, cuz usually the community is huge and overwhelming, toxic, scary, crazy, and the idea of being in those communities and interacting with people in those communities and being in there not just to post a dingle fanart from it and dip, but to help be a big part of the community and whatnot sounded... overwhelming.

Then I slowly began getting super hyperfixated on SMG4, much more than I usually am, leading me to post more about it. Fanart, things I notice, goofy theories... more than just me saying a couple things i like about it, posting a fanart, then moving onto something else.

I started kinda just exploring the SMG4 tags and gradually, I began recognizing most of the people in this community more and more -- recognizing art styles, etc. I noticed how small a community it was.

And it was a mostly chill community. I wasn't really seeing much drama or questionable things, maybe some criticisms about the show or theories or whatever, but nobody was at each others throats. Plus, the fan OCs were super neat.

I had begun posting more and more SMG4 content, drawing fanart, their OCs, and the fact people were so just... chill and welcoming about it was so nice. It wasn't nearly as scary -- we are all just vibing here. Most of the artists you look up to will probably see your work, and give it attention too.

It feels super strange to be considered an SMG4 Tumblr artist, having people literally enjoying the things I make and making things for me when they make things for SMG4 fanartists... its honestly super surreal. But so so exciting and euphoric.

Cuz yall are so awesome!! Yall make my day so bright. Yall are the best.

I'll be honest, when I first was slowly being a part of the SMG4 community -- sometime right after summer vacation began -- I had been dealing with some petty but difficult irl person issues.

I don't want to get into it too much, but I had basically messed up in a pretty bad way (enough to make me feel bad the moment I did it, but not enough that we couldn't move on and mature from it), and the people involved were hurt worse than I thought they were, and instead of trying to talk it out they resorted lying about being my friends for months before school ended, and over summer break, tried to cancel one of my Scratch account and drag my followers there into drama that they had no business being in, for the simple reason being "you don't deserve all that fame".

Despite their attempt at trying to cancel me not really working out very well, it very much affected me negatively and made me very very scared about using Scratch again. I still post projects there sometimes, but i felt weird when i do it. I felt like those people were watching my every move, waiting to try and drag me down again. It felt so strange and scary to feel like the people I once cared so deeply about are breathing down my neck, waiting for me to make another wrong move and add it to their proof of why I'm an awful person.

It sucks ass.

The SMG4 community here on Tumblr, despite none of you knowing I was going through anything at all, you all helped a lot. Just existing.

Being a welcoming community that I feel safe to be silly and normal in.

I've never been the best at expressing appreciation, but let me just say:

I think of you all so highly and I never want you to change.

Keep making silly art. Or fanfics. Or AUs. Or OCs. Or whatever you like doing in this tiny close-knit fandom.

Keep doing everything you're doing to make this community mean so much to me.

❤️❤️❤️

...this sounds like im leaving the community,, IM NOT I just wanted to get it off my chest cuz ive been experiencing the emotions™ yknow, sorry that its not like my regular posts lol, im not gonna post like this much LMAOOO

TL;DR: yall are fuckin awesome please keep being awesome forever and ever ily bye

[sparklyshakespeare]

the case for hyper-femme hotspur

this is my tumblr blog and this is like kind of just what we do heresies

OK so basically okay so

first of all i think anytime there is a character who is so strongly associated with an extreme form of gender expression in our collective zeitgeist (i.e hotspur and hyper-masculinity) there’s something not only extremely fun to play with but incredibly valuable about analyzing the story from the opposite end of the gender performance specturm. also canonically there are like 3 female characters in 1h4 and that sucks. also also don’t you want to see hotspur in pink glitter? i know i do and this tumblr is not a democracy!!

in this hypothetical dream sparkly version of the play, both hotspur and worcester would be women. not played by women, i mean textually explicitly women. this is important!! 

worcester should be very nancy pelosi hillary clinton-esque in the way that this is a middle-aged woman who has been taught that to be successful in her field (politics) she will have to strip herself of most of her femininity and perform a certain level of masculinity in order to be taken seriously. this creates a whole other layer to the hotspur/worcester dynamic when all of a sudden this young, hyper-feminine woman is being taken more seriously and being given more praise than someone who has worked and fought through the bullshit and done it all “right”. she hasn’t earned her place, she hasn’t had to struggle - and worcester resents her for that. (there’s like a whole dissertation to be written about how much of 1h4 changes when only worcester is genderbent, i love you queen worcester you are everything not in this version here you kind of suck lowkey)

henry iv is just a misogynist he just kinda sucks but like this is something we all knew screw that guy

ok now we can talk about hal because i know hes like the one all you little gay people care about. 

to me, it’s never made sense why the Henriad is framed as hal’s hero’s journey. maybe it’s because i’m queer (i’m like actually positive that’s why), but leaving home and finding acceptance and family from a group of outsiders who society has deemed as worthless is the path i’ve watched so many friends walk. having to leave that and return to your shitty dad because “duty calls!” and THEN leaving behind and disavowing the same community that opened its arms to you? i don’t see that as an awesome coming-of-age about learning how to handle responsibility, that’s deeply, deeply tragic. and far farrrrr too true a reality for most members of our LGBTQ+ community here (Bible Belt). SO guess where this version of 1h4 is set!!!!!! anyways, its the Medieval Revival of the ‘70s in the Bible Belt south, the Boar’s Head is a gay bar, and hal is trans. 

hal is trans-masc in some way and this needs to be incredibly explicit (like pronouns pin with trans flag on costume explicit). and then when the news breaks, when “I’ll to the court in the morning.” (we’re cutting the text so this is where that scene ends. cool? cool. cool!), hal takes the pin off. it needs to be like A Moment. it should make me cry, and i cry really easily so that’ll probably be pretty easy to do, but this is a gut punch. 

oh and lady percy is still a woman, they’re gay, because i said so. blah blah blah because look hotspur and hal really were so alike all along and look hotspur is fighting so voraciously because she’s hungry for a world where she can openly and unabashedly be with the person she loves but ultimately because i love lady percy and i love lesbians and this play doesn’t need another man. but also because look hotspur is fighting so voraciously because she’s hungry for a world where she can openly and unabashedly be with the person she loves. worcester and vernon should also both be women and have the blossoming of a relationship but be a lot more discreet about it (worcester should be extremely hesitant). now we get a cool split between younger and older generations of activists in both the feminist and the gay rights movement oooo themes oooo motifs oooo lady gagita 

as far as hal/hotspur parallels go, it’s probably pretty obvious at this point. your dad constantly praising someone who represents, at least in his mind, the ideal concept of a woman, disappointed you can’t be more like her, all the while you’re coming to terms with the fact that you’re not a woman, but he’ll never see that, so what the fuck are you supposed to do?!? it’s a LOT! but i think there’s also something to be said about the less obvious parallel. which is that hyper-femininity is NOT an attempt at ideal polite womanhood or self-Stepfordization, hyper-femininity is in fact the extreme performance of womanhood in rejection of that. hyper-femininity is queer in nature (also hotspur quite literally has a wife but i guess hal wouldn’t be able to tell that just by looking at her) there’s something to be said about the moment hal and hotspur see each other, and then the moment hal and hotspur seeeeeee each other. and go hey, you’re just like me. this person who you’ve been constantly compared to and made out to be lesser than  because you dare to be deeply wildly madly truly you is in fact exactly the same. we’re the same. and oh my god, in another world wouldn’t it have been lovely to just like go dancing together? sucks it’s not another world now we’re going to gay fight each other i guess

[fandaniel]

my irl trans feminine friends always make me feel so loved btw its crazy. ive never been in a friend group thats made me feel like im so important to them.... its the little things. mostly i know they talk about me outside of hanging out (POSITIVE), they have inside jokes based off things and stuff ive said and done around them. also they confirm my gender as much as possible. awesome sauce friends.

[genderqueerdykes]

just wanted to send in a positive message, ive been on t for a lil over a month now and i was kinda worried about bottom growth at first. ive always found my genitals gross, but i also find dicks gross, so i figured it was just a Thing id have to live with. i figured bottom growth from T would either cause no change in my feelings or make them worse, but it was a risk i was willing to take.

Oh dude. i LOVE bottom growth. i can look at those parts of myself without immediately becoming grossed out and having to look away. its SO COOL. i dont have any other changes yet so this is my favorite thing rn lmao but ohh its so cool!! ive never felt this..comfortable? in my body. Its so cool. I feel so cool.

i'm so freaking happy for you! that's literally the best thing in the world ^ _ ^

i felt the same way, it started happening very quickly and noticeably for me due to being intersex and i was just like WOW !!!! the whole time! you're right, i just. felt more comfortable in my body, i was like yeah!!! that's more right!

i'm glad you feel cool, you are cool. i'm glad you're happy with the changes you're seeing so far, that's really awesome! i'm glad you're having moments like these! ^ _ ^ very happy for you! hope to hear from you again! take care, hope ur transition is safe & good for you!

[awesamforehead]

Tag at least six people (can be more than six if you want), and say at least one nice thing about or to each of them. Can be mutuals, can be people you follow, can be people you don’t know but just happen to exist in the same circle(s) with. All you gotta do is tag them and say something nice about/to them :)

Thank you @mahikamihan (the nicest and sweetest person here) for the tag! Ignore that its been a few days shhhh I was actually thinking of doing this on my priv but then this showed up so perfect opportunity :D Its a big one so everyone will be under a read more so Im not clogging the dash

@gogtopia Jules, you were the first person I followed when I was revamping my blog last year, the first person that came to mind on who I knew was safe post October. Although this was long ago, I really enjoyed the discussions we had about lore and such on discord that was a fun time. And now you're on the path of getting my into The Yard more too lol

@i-anonymous-crow Crow crow crow crow. You were the first (literally the first) people to follow me and it was all because I was crying over the Las Nevadas gift for ckarlnapity. And since then we've cried some more together. And now we're here, thank you for giving me a chance

@foolishfreckles Moss my beloved. Actually one of the chillest people I know and a really great clipper. Another person who has been here since pretty much the beginning (like when I had 20 followers) and one of my biggest supporters. If you arent already following Moss what are you doing. I also love the Foolish screenies you try to get every stream

@traidyy LUCKY!!!!!!! :D SWEETEST PERSON AND GREAT ARTIST THEIR ART IS SO CUTE. also a karl fan so thats 1000 more attractive points. But actually one of my favorite people here, wuv u Lucky <3 the dog to my cat

@sapybara INY!! Somehow you are the most rational but also the most chaos inducing person here and I love you for that. Whenever dash is all fucky and im beginning to spiral, your post are usually the ones who help pull me back up. Also your sapybara pfp is the cutest thing ever.

@vadergf REY REY! The would be drolo of my heart and the realest person when it comes to the green man. Your anons are hilarious and your art is so cute, no matter what you might say. Also thank you for supporting me like with the dteam hourly account i really appreciate it

@simplepotatofarmer Loyal! :D this is a thank you for always wanting and trying to make the fandom a better place. So many people give you the worst shit and yet you try to give second chances and show kindness. Thats something very rare to find nowadays. I love your aus like the rabbit and black dog au, and your chicken posts are some of my favorite things (all hail dream (chicken) )

@toxicsapolo Hi Salty! The og sapolo, the one who paved the way. Even though I have no idea what you and Adora are talking about with the F1 fandom, Ive admired how passionate you are when it comes to your interests. Sapnap, fashion, cooking, your boyfriend.

@tinynap JO!!! Your liveblogs never fail to make me laugh, even if half of them give you a tummy ache. I also want to say im proud of you trying your best at college, even at your roughest nights. You're gonna do great, kid

@dralbum NIICCCKKK!!! Ok not only is your art gorgeous and gives the softest feeling, you are also one of the funniest motherfuckers here. I enjoy our time on privtwt where we ask to eat each others food lmao

@faehrys ARIA MY ARIA!!! Not only an awesome editor, but also an awesome person. I appreciated how you tried to keep a positive space during the rough time, but also knowing when to stand your ground. And as always, karl enjoyer so extra cool points :>

@negativepeanuthoarder PEANUT!!! A true squirrel in which they stick around and make a home in your heart. You are always the loudest supporter in my writing and I really appreciate that, especially on the harder days

@knffuckraw ACE!!! Another funny person here and also representing the inner haikyuu fans (along with Iny). You have the greatest comebacks for anons and the funniest tags. love you ace <3

@dreamnotnapss First, a thank you for your services they’re greatly appreciated and you be missed by many. Second, a thank you for supporting everyone you could within our circle and even beyond. We’ll remember you fondly

@selvish HI TENDER!! we interact much more on twitter lol but youre one of my favorite people, big karl enjoyer and created some of my favorite fics like Y&OY, Rules, Favorite Place, and when we’re older 💜

@secretkoalasandwich EMMI MY BELOVED. ok tbh when we first started following each other I was so nervous cause you had a Wil pfp but now youre one of my favorite people lol. My brethren of punzblr, always ready to simp with me. Also an amazing artist with the most amazing blending skills youve ever seen youre telling me this is a painting??? anyways 10/10 spectacular amazing wow

@canonicallykayfabe EACHTRA!! Some of the most beautiful art here, both in a more cartoony style and one that holds slight realism. The color choices are fantastic as well. Along with that, you have some really thought provoking posts that I really appreciate like the banter discussion post awhile ago.

@sapnapstummy BLAZE THE KINDEST PERSON HERE 100%. legit i dont think ive ever seen you post a neg post about anything thats impressive. also i want to say i love how youll go back to either dreamtummy or sapnaptummy, so iconic and so true.

@dnapsnfsapnap PIGEON!! We’re semi newish mutuals but I’ll always welcome new sapnap fans into my life. On par with Salty, Jo, and Blaze, you fit right in with the sapolo ideology and i think thats amazing. You can always get the cutest screenies of Sapnap and I love your frog posts as well ^-^

@snfbabydrop Ive said this multiple times but thank you for your work on dreamnotnapss. The safe haven for multishippers in our corner. Aside from that, you are one of the nicest people Ive met here, never let your sunshine get blocked out

Also shoutout to my awesome mutuals who I dont talk to often but still love 💜

[stardustfanfare]

like as someone who is technically a poc it is rly interesting to examine how that is or is not relevant in my life. if we're talking about me as an individual . for sure im korean im asian im poc whatever (and still white !) but if we're talking about me as part of a society there has never been a time in which it has been helpful to think of myself as poc because i have the same position of privilege and experience as most white people with the exception that i speak a bit of a different language and my grandparents make awesome food . like it is truly just not relevant to the conversation & maybe its so interesting to me just because ive never really seen anyone else express this sentiment. like race has been such a non issue in my life (which you know. is good) that when it comes to how i fit into society i literally just dont have a reason to bring that up. like. almost at all.

[olberic]

ranking anime i’ve watched in 2023:

as expected, here’s this year’s top 10 for how much i personally enjoyed the anime i’ve watched this year. ive watched more than this, but god i watched so many bad ones…. even number 10 sucks but everything else was worse. sad!

as always thank u gifmakers for ur service 🫡 the world would be nothing without u all

10. the legendary hero is dead! (2023)

dont watch this show. it sucks and its bad. hey. come here. hold my hand. now lets just watch and enjoy the OP ok? don't worry about the rest.

9. my daughter left the nest and returned as an s-rank adventurer (2023)

i have to admit this show charmed me. its not the best thing ive ever seen but its nice. comfy. yknow? i haven't finished it but it's enjoyable. can't rank it higher until i finish it

8. sabikui bisco (2022)

if it werent for the positively nonsensical jump in the middle of the show and the way theres just like. a lot of gaps? it’d rank higher. it’s a very cool premise for a show and i like the bisco/milo dynamic, and [SISTER] is fun as hell. it didnt wow me though overall, and while i enjoyed it i was hoping for more.

7. trigun stampede (2023)

im sorry trigun stans i simply didnt love it. i see the appeal i really do but it just didnt hook me. i really liked the animation and the storyline. im intrigued by whatever the fuck is going on with those plants and yall have said theres a tallgirl in the next season? so i’ll keep watching. i just didnt love it

6. that time i got reincarnated as a slime (2019-2021)

in contrast to #7, i can see why this show is weak HOWEVER i just enjoyed it. i like it. huge fan of how much gender the protag has. i love how they get new powers. i enjoy that it can be interpreted as an extremely bisexual show. it was well paced and the slime diaries OVA was a great addition. a lot of the characters really stuck with me too and its like. idk. one of my favourite isekais i guess

5. buddy daddies (2023)

this should rank higher. its so fun. its SO fun. its silly and it doesnt take itself seriously. i laughed in every episode. the dynamic between the guys is great. the dynamics between them and the kid is great. just a really solid show if you can stand the queerbaiting. i dont even care

4. bocchi the rock! (2022)

the bocchi side of tumblr is right this show rules. i like how real bocchi’s social anxiety feels (literally how it felt when i had it). the characters are entertaining, the show’s well done, they even have solid music (which band-based shows dont always do right!). its really funny and its really earnest and its a joy to watch

3. demon slayer: swordsmith village arc (2023)

i included the entertainment district arc in last year’s list so this arc makes the cut. im always late getting around to watch the new stuff and i dont want to read the manga but god DAMN does this show hit different. incredible fight scenes. i loved everything they did for the hashira backstories. i love whatever the fuck is up with genya. it even gave me some akaza to sustain me for the next year or whatever. ik this show gets overhyped but its normal hyped. to me.

2. frieren: beyond journey's end (2023)

oughhh frieren… ive only known this show for a few months but it means to much to me… i dont even wanna talk about it because its so good i just wanna watch it again. go watch frieren if you havent already its anime of the decade. to me

1. gundam: the witch from mercury (2022-2023)

ive never seen a gundam before but i will be watched them after this! what can be said about it that hasnt already been said on this site. the romance storyline is impeccable, the fights are awesome, the moral questions it posed were excellently covered. by the end of the first episode i was speechless. by the end of the last episode i'd cried like 4 times over the course of the show. this thing made me cry to happy birthday. what the fuck

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas, its talkitive mom anon. (I think thats what it was)

This ask doesnt really have that much to do with my other ask but i thought it would be helpful, so i dont have to expalin it all again.

Basically, i dont know if my parents are that bad or not. A lot of my friends tell me that my parents are bad and i always say something along the lines of "im fine, my parents are great really, dont worry about it, im not in a bad situation".

What made me send in this ask is that i had a conversation with my friend today and we were talking about our futures and how moving a lot affected our perspectives of where we want to live. She brought up that when i move back to the states she doesnt want me to 'self sabotage' by living close to my parents. It made it sound like my parents are really bad but idk if they are. I think i talk about them negatively bc im frustrated but igim frustrated at them a lot? She also asked how looking for a therapist was going (my mom wanted me to get one and i told her that i was warming up to the idea bc my mom was gonna force me anyway) i told her that i dont think its gonna happen anymore bc i think my mom decided im fine enough and that i dont need one anymore? She hasnt brought it up since we talked about it like a month and a half ago. And me and my mom have barely been able to have one conversation without arguing.

Tbh for a while now ive just felt like im a horrible child. And that im just ungrateful and i should be nicer and more positive about things. I just feel like a horrible person. I feel like i need to fix myself so that my parents like me more bc its my fault isnt it? I talked to my brother and he cant think of many times that my parents made him feel the way i do. So its either bc he never complains about my parents or bc hes just the better child. My parents have also been fighting more and it stresses me out. Im just so tired of screaming matches one second and the next my mom and dad acting like everything is normal and we all suddenly like eachother again. My mom has been telling me to stop crying a lot lately also. And i feel like she right. I overreact too much and thats probably the reason that i even think that my parents might be bad.

Anyway this has become more of a vent than a question. Sorry for ranting. Do you think im the problem though?

Hi hon! I definitely don't thin you're the problem <3

Listen, I don't know your parents but based on what you've told me, they definitely have their own issues. That doesn't make them HORRIBLE, but that means they're human and they make mistakes. I think when you're in the middle of a situation like you are, it's harder to see when people you love are making decisions that could be hurtful. If your friend is concerned, she could be right!

If it was me, I would go to a therapist. Therapists are awesome for sorting out healthy from unhealthy. Tell them about the dynamic in your family and ask them their opinion. They're professionals and they can get background that I can't. They can also help you identify where you parents have been wrong and where you may have been wrong in different situations. Plus, therapy is good for everyone.

Sending love!

[mroddmod]

HEY i'm here to do that stupid sappy thing where i make a new years post and thank everyone for the great year.

i already said this on twt but i can genuinely say that i have never had this much fun in a fandom before. i've never CLICKED with a fandom and its participants in the way that i've clicked with the stranger things fandom. i've made more finished art than i have for any other franchise, i think. i've never gotten to connect with people and make friends in a fandom like i have with the stranger things fandom. THE FRIENDS IVE MADE ARE SOME OF THE BEST IVE HAD IN LIKE. EVER. you guys are seriously so awesome. NOT TO MENTION ALL THE INCREDIBLE PEOPLE THAT I ALWAYS SEE IN MY REBLOG TAGS AND REPLIES. i've had the privilege to get to meet, know, and interact, with some of the nicest and most talented people ever. it's been such a good year BECAUSE of the connections i've made. SOOOOO i'm gonna list off some of my favorite people and say a little something and TRY to keep it short. OBVIOUSLY THIS IS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

@astrobei : yeah, obviously you're in here, idiot. you wormed your way into my life way too quickly and WAYYYY too easily but i wouldn't change it (probably. just kidding. or Am I.....). i was a MEGA fan of your writing LOOOONG before i ever even spoke to you, so it's kind of a trip that i talk to you every day now. if you told mod from september that he'd be this tight w suni astrobi he absolutely would not believe you. anyway thank you for making me laugh so much and talking to me all the time even though you should probably be doing better things. keep being you. k love u (maybe) bye

@msquared1414 : MAGS. MY DEAR MAGS. I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY. you are a beacon of light in a fucked up and annoying world. i know i can always count on you for support and a good laugh. im so glad i got to know you over the time that we've been talking. i promise i have more special wips to send u soon. I MISS YOU ALL THE TIME BFF

@cherbearsz : CHER 😭😭😭 do you realize that you're actually one of the funniest people on the planet. did you Know. actually i take it back, you're the funniest. i could be having a shit day and suddenly cher gets in the chat and stirs up chaos and i am feeling like :) again. ty for being you, bro 🤝

@livsmessydoodles : we've known each other for a long time but i feel like i didn't really GET to know you until this year. but i'm so glad i did!! you are such a lively and positive energy that i love to see on my dash, in my notifs, in our group chats, anywhere. you are TRULY a unifying and joyful force. keep up your good energy, so many good things will come to you in life.

@halosketches : sorry but who gave you the right to be this cool. like i wanna know. YOU'RE ACTUALLY THE COOLEST PERSON IVE MET.... i know this is like a cringe thing to say but your vibes are Unmatched. i know i can always trust your takes because your taste in media is the Highest of quality. you're also way too nice. you're insane.

@wynsvre : sarah :((( my bro. my guy. you are an INSPIRATION to me and you always will be in so many ways. you are so real and honest and i value that in you so much. honestly you're just such a rad person. i aspire to be more like u.

@janceezer : KITE!!!!! i actually cannot believe how sappy and sweet you are it's CRAZY that you're just that way. YOURE JUST THAT GOOD. it pleasantly surprises me all the time. you are so down to earth and you care about people with everything you have, and i feel SO lucky to be one of those people. KEEP BEING YOU!!!

@tryingonametaphor : AH BHAVNA you have been an absolute pleasure to get to know this year. i was ALSO a huge fan of yours before i got to know you personally, but i was BLOWN away by how kind you are 😭 you are just so understanding and patient and RIDICULOUSLY creative. you're so cool, it's crazy.

@spacedru1d : MY BFF!!!!! my matching bff. you've been such a good friend and a delight to interact with. you're naturally such a good person without even trying. IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH DURING YOUR TIME IN UNI but i'm proud of you for getting your shit done and finally getting the gf of ur dreams. I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE BEST BFF!!!

okay now that i've gotten all my Real Actual IRL Bestest Friends in the Entire World out of the way....

some other people that i've loved interacting with/seeing in my notifs/seeing on my dash:

@bujomoss, @http-byler, @smoosnoom, @bookinit02, @nnilkyway, @elekinetic, @wiseatom, @andiwriteordie, @paladibun, @noodles-and-tea, @aemiron-main, @caesarexile, and many more im CERTAIN i'm forgetting.

anyway. thanks for an incredible year. HERES TO 2023!!!

[tremorsmackenzie]

jessica jones rewatch review

so, ive just finished rewatching jessica jones because my disney+ access has ended. this will contain spoilers for the entire show.

disclaimer: i last watched it a few years ago with my mom and loved it back then, and my memory of it post season 1 was kind of blurry except for some central plot elements, and that i really disliked hogarth and trish towards the end.

so. season 1 was the best in terms of overall plot, character development, vibe, and consistency in my opinion. the best story and definitley also the best villain, kilgrave fucking slaps as a bad guy.

jessica in general is an awesome character, and has never really left my top three. i love her development, her personality, and her writing most of the time. she tries to live her life and take care of herself, but also helps the little guy when its not a wasted effort, and when she makes mistakes and ends up hurting people the reason is human error, not maliciousness or disinterest in other people, and she generally takes responsibility for her actions.

that said, sometimes her writing is lazy or just bad in order for the plot to happen, but unfortunately thats always a problem that exists.

after that, i have some thoughts. in general, i dont really see the narrative point of many of the side stories in the last two seasons. they only barely had anything to do with the main story (especially hogarths arcs), so that was kind of just exhausting to watch, because i genuinely dislike hogarth and, as i said, there kind of was no point to her scenes most of the time for the main narrative, which didnt make it better. the same is true for the sheer amount of sex scenes. in general i dont have a problem with those, but here they were just redundant in terms of plot most of the time, there were way too many of them especially with that in mind, and because of that there was no value added to the show by them. it felt more like filler, or trying to achieve the rating of the show.

what annoyed me the most was how almost every single main character on the show, with the exception of jessica, became so goddamn unlikeable. the side characters were mostly fine (costa, griffin, oscar, etc.), but trish, hogarth, and malcolm were hard to tolerate later on. thats partially due to the genre of the show and what themes are explored there, but its difficult to sympathize with the characters enough to keep watching for 13 episodes per season, when all they do is manipulate and screw each other over constantly, with almost no redeeming qualities or real consequences for their actions, and im not sure whether id call that a good writing decision. that whole situation is a toxic mess and i really hope jessica found some better people after the show ended.

beyond that obviously the female characters were all deep and complicated people, which is one of my favourite things about this show, but i also really wish that some of them werent written as assholes past season 1.

so yeah, those are my thoughts. still one of my favourite shows of all time, but man do i wish the writing had been kinder in season 2 and 3. really hope jessica will be back in daredevil born again or a future show/movie.

Edit: also im mad that oscar and the potential of a genuinely positive relationship with a good person for jessica, that was built up the entire second season, was immediatley taken away at the start of the third season.

[de4dlyniightshade]

heyy :) erm im gonna fangirl really quick and then the request will be at the end incase you wanna skip to that part or anything, lol. okay so this is very much unnecessary and unasked for and blah blah but i don't care! i believe writers need to hear how much we appreciate them and their works because whew mama! ive been trying to write fics for like months and it actually is so horrible. i genuinely start to angrily vibrate bc my thoughts don't flow on the notes app. but i just wanted to say, nightshade, (ehehe that's so cheeky and silly for some reason) that i reallyyy love your work. its actually like horrific how much your writing just makes me so 😜😊🤭 i know you're not like a celebrity or anything, so it's gonna be weird with this like mini parasocial relationship thing, but please know your work has an impact !! a few months ago, i did something extremely bad and out of character while i was spiraling, and i decided that the best decision for me would be to quit using social media. (and beforehand i had quit using tiktok for like 7 months already and i wasn't that addicted to my phone but i still was consuming negative media) so, ofc, i stopped completely for a good month or so and only ever using youtube every now and then. buttttt, one of the first social media platforms i came back to first... was tumblr! it's actually so silly too because i only used tumblr like 4 times beforehand so i was quite new. but anyway anyway (im a yapper UGH) i really found that your posts had made me feel happy :) idk they kinda reminded me of myself before i went big bad that one time and it made me inspired to go back to how i used to be... u get me?? you're writing literally haunts my brain oh my lord it should be illegal to read your stuff because afterwards i literally have this crazy ass urge to read more and more and more. im lowkey an addict cause i be having my deadlynightshade withdrawals. the way you write is just so 😫 gosh, it's beautiful. i also love ur sillyness because like ME TOO. your random little posts are so me coded and i love it. YOU'RE SO FUNNY 😭 uhmm i just wanted to say thanks for being super cool and talented because believe it or not, the stuff you put out makes me really happy! (that was so melodramatic like mf they write about spencer being a pathetic pussy drunk bitch why are you saying it changed ur life?? its true tho.) erm yeah that's the end of that part i just again wanted to thank you 🙏 i wish we were friends SO BAD like you're actually awesome what the fuck.... but like how do u even become friends w ppl?? LMAO ERM ANYWAY 😍 can you write a blurb or h.c or something (honestly anything will make me happy) about valentine's day?? 🤭 basically spencer being SO FUCKING SHY because you can't stop touching his hands or hair subtly or like kissing his cheek leaving marks from lipstick or like getting him his favorite snacks/drinks/books/textures/ basically a gift that made u think about him?? ugh or him doing the same with you like him being the best fucking nerd boy ever and spoiling you so much like he goes ape shit spending well over his funds limit but it's worth it because it's you? or like sweet soft cutie pie sex? at the end of the day and he's like... Erm.. Pussy for 1 please! you were so pretty today... You always are-! (I'm mentally ill and writing this at 8:37 pm on a thursday night.)

this is. the sweetest shit anyone has ever said to me i actually cried ngl to you.

i'm genuinely so thankful for the little community i have created here i never expected such an insane amount of positivity and love from people just for the whack ass shit i write but that's probably just my perpetual self hatred and disbelief that people enjoy anything about me🤞

i think it's crazy how people on the internet who have never met me, don't know me, what i look like, or anything can treat me better than any of my friends have and i'll always be thankful for that.

ALSO! i love being called funny pls kiss me i never think i'm actually funny istg

i was also planning on writing a valentines fic ALREADY but this made me wanna write it even more as a thank you for this message it genuinely made my week(can't promise it ON TIME for valentines but i can try!)

i'm also so glad that my work and blog makes you happy, there's no privilege greater than making someone smile even when they don't feel like it</3

[phoenixstark1708]

the daughter of an archangel pt.3

I flew until I physically couldn’t anymore, landing somewhere near LA. I knew I was in california, but I needed to be in malibou point. I was exhausted, but I forced myself to continue. It was around an hour before I saw the building bucky was talking about; it had large windows, and was positioned on the side of a cliff. I decended quickly, crashing on a balcony. I heard a robotic male voice say “mr.stark, there is an unknown human female on the balcony; proceed with caution.” I tensed up, ready to be punished. A man walked out of the house with a gun pointed directly at me “who are you?!” he demanded “whats your name!? Answer me!” I was still laying crumpled on the deck “i- my name is ph-phe-” I passed out before I could finish.

I woke up chained to a hospital bed that was oddly comfortable, I was used to a stone floor though, so my standards werent high. A nurse saw I was awake, and walked out of the room. The man walked back in with a police officer “who are you kid?” the man questioned “my name is phoenix.” I responded “who are your parents?” the officer asked “i- I don’t ha-” the man cut me off “i am. Im her father, you cant kick her out if she has a guardian.” the officer looked at the man quizically “okay mr.stark. I think my work is done then. If you know who she is… jane doe is phoenix stark.. Got it!” the cop walked away. “why did you say that? Youre not my father, I don’t have a father.” the man sat down next to me “How old are you, kid?” he ignored my question. “what is the year?” “its 2010.” “then I am 14.” I said, surprised at how old I was. A doctor walked in, and spoke to the man “she is severely malnourished, she is very underweight, and has several untreated infections. It seems her bones have been broken and set many times, and her body is covered in scars, its honestly a shock that she is still alive.” I was vaguely listening to him. “should we get her food?” “not yet, I don’t know how her body would react. It seems she has been without food for days, if not weeks. I'll start an IV with what she needs, and we’ll go from there.” with that, the doctor left the room, leaving me with the man “im tony. Tony stark. What happened to you?” he asked “i escaped. I couldn’t take the punishments, sir.” I avoided eye contact, something I was trained to do. “you don’t have to call me sir, you can call me tony.” “okay… tony” “and you can make eye contact, kid.” I looked in his eyes, and recognised the same emotion that bucky had in his eyes the night we met, but it was different. “who did you escape from?” he asked gently “h-hydra” I winced just saying the name. Tony's eyes nearly jumped out of his skull “HYDRA?!” I shied back, hearing the anger in his voice “so theyre taking kids now!” I was confused “they didn’t take me, they created me. Im nothing but a freak grown in a test tube.” I began to tear up, recalling all the times I was told that. “hey, youre not a freak. Having wings if fricking awesome, kid.” I laughed, enjoying the light-hearted nature of the conversation. The doctor walked in with an IV bag, and inserted the needle into my skin. I didn’t even flinch, hell I barely even felt it.

I was admitted to the hospital and stayed there for around 5 days. Tony was very busy and only visited once a day, and sometimes he didn’t. I didn’t mind, I was enjoying the rest, and the food. The food was the best I'd ever tasted. At first, I was put on a liquid diet which consisted of broth, juice, and ice. I didn’t care, it was incredible. After the first 2 days, I was given the option of solid food, so I tried all the things that I'd never even dreamed of trying. I had a grilled cheese sandwich, and potato chips! It was incredible! I had never felt so lucky. I spoke to tony about the HYDRA base, but when they got there, it was empty. The only thing they found was a small note carved into the wall, it read “live your life, dove.” I felt incredibly terrible, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to find him. I had no doubt they put him back on the ice. When I was discharged from the hospital, tony took me to the house that I crash-landed on. I was greeted by a beautiful and kind red-headed woman named pepper, and a grumpy man called happy. I giggled at the irony.

I was shown to a room that was much larger than my cell. It had a big, soft thing in the middle that I learned was called a ‘bed’. I was given a change of clothes, that were just my size. So I stripped out of the hospital gown to change “woah! Hey, kid you can close the door” tony averted his eyes and closed it. It felt very strange to have privacy. I laid down on the bed and relaxed. Im pretty sure I slept for a week. I was woken up by pepper coming into my room “hey, good morning honey! I brought you some food.” I ate quietly, and she sat on the bed “how are you doing?” I was definitely not used to people caring about me. “good” I mumbled, instantly flinching, expecting to be hit. No blow came. “youre safe sweetheart. No one is going to hurt you here.” I looked up at her, greeted with sympathy-filled eyes. “i have someone I want you to talk to. Its someone with a school, we should know where youre at. Are you okay to meet with him?” I nodded, completely oblivious as to what in the world ‘school’ was.

[meet-at-tycho]

dude ive been dissociating so hard specifically about monster hunter?? like i just laid down on my bed and i was holding my cat and. the organic wind from my fan IT. i couldnt imagine myself as anything other than vik in astera just snoozing somewhere and the wind is hitting their face like. ITS SCARY sometimes i can feel myself there thats how bad the autism is its . MY HOME THATS MY HOUSE!!!!!! im. im going insane just a little like IS PLAYING MONSTER HUNTER EVEN ENOUGH? would it EVEN be enough.. I WANT TO GO THERE!!!!! but i cant. im gonna think about it a whole lot against my will tho you better believe my brain is gonna be like wow. you just ate. this is like monster hunter!!! SHUT UPPP..... IM SAD the autism beast is like teasing me

never remind me how much monster hunter means to me cuz i WILL cry about it

i think its extra special cuz like. WE KNOWW ALREADY im agoraphobic the only times i go out is when im WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS, or im going straight into a car and on my way to a different building. it makes me really sad cuz like. my sibling is mean about it, they pick on me for never going out and never getting sun but. YEAH ID REALLY LOVE TO. id love that more than anything, im just... scared

but when i play, im not!!!! im viktor, master rank hunter of the 5th fleet, i go out on expedition for DAYS just enjoying the beauty of life, the beauty of the new world.. i do whatever i want and i go wherever i want and im not AFRAID, because no one can hurt me out there. no one WOULD hurt me. monster hunter feels so. POSITIVE LIKE ive said it before and ill say it again, MHW its just you being awesome and a bunch of hot men praise you and are proud of you like OKAYYYY

AND never get me started on how i feel about the MONSTERS, no im. the autism is so severe . mhw is on par with FNAF in terms of how deeply engrained it is in me. like fnaf changed my life shaped how i grew up and who i am as a person, MH WAS A LITTLE LATE TO THE PARTY, BUT.... i dont have 700+ hours in fnaf do i 😼😼 ive played that game for 72 hours straight when i got back into it in 2020, i played that game til i RUBBED THE WASD KEYS OFF MY SIBLINGS KEYBOARD. i played til i got carpal tunnel and even after i put on a wrist brace to TRY and make it feel better I STILL PLAYED!!!!!!!! i literally wasnt taking care of myself NOT DRINKING NOT EATING LIKE. ONLY A LITTLE IN ALL THAT TIME I WAS OBSESSED...... can you blame me?

ive said it before, monster hunter is an autism special that like. HAS BEEN COOKING ALL MY LIFE, and it only was finally released on me in 2020 cuz like. i used to grow up watching my older brother play it!!!!! even if i was like 7 i still remembered names of monsters and they stuck with me FOREVER to the point where like. when i was 11 i named characters after some of them on my shitty dA art alright it was so. LIKE THIS WAS A LONG TIME COMING ive always been so drawn to it grGHGRGR

[kimtaegis]

are u ever classified as that 1 friend that has nothing going on but their love for bts? cus i was and im not sure how i feel about it 🙄 like sure i am waiting for them to come back & maybe i dont do much besides that personally (i work from home) so its just work and bts but having someone say that made me feel like ??? *sigh* i was telling myself i need to do better by the time they all come back, i want to be a better person when i see them again (just hoping for things to turn out better in my personal life) and yet jin is almost halfway back and ive done nothing i feel so disappointed with myself, like truly i let myself down more than anyone else could

darling, I’ve been there too. no one told me (did seriously someone say this to you?? what the hell, how much of an asshole can you be. this is seriously absolute toxic and mean and unhelpful and I’d tell them to get lost if I were you), but I realised it for myself. you’re not alone. sometimes we’re at points in our life where there’s just one, seemingly silly thing that might get us out of bed in the morning. and you know what I came to realise? at least there was this one thing. also, I know exactly how it is to be your own worst critic, and it’s so hard to learn how to be gentle with yourself, to be understanding and patient, to find courage and energy again when you feel disappointed in yourself etc. I think it’s already a great start to find some kind of motivation at all, and if it’s bts, then awesome!! who cares where you retrieve your positivity from!!! the only thing that counts is that there is a source, and if it’s only external at the moment and not yet because you want to get better for yourself only, then that’s absolutely okay too. just keep going no matter what, baby steps. just you giving all you got would make the members proud, trust me. they’d never be disappointed in you, ever, neither would I, even on the worst days. you’re inevitably going to be better than now simply because you want to. future’s gonna be okay