#its fitting but also not idk how to explain it
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Okay so this is my entry for @drizzledrawings competition!! Get ready for a whole ass fucking wall of text…whoopsie!!
anyway drizzle i love u and ur cowbians they me goofy-grin-on-my-face-kicking-my-feet happy — u and ur art are such an inspiration mwah!!
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I present to you my entry: Adelaide Forsythe – a travelling scholar and astronomer who’s shifter form is a magpie!
So, starting off with the animal choice. I chose a magpie for two reasons: one, I’m a bird nerd and two, I felt like the symbolism attached to magpies really fit her character??
As a member of the Corvidae family, Magpies are known for being quite intelligent, as well as having a love for shiny objects (get it, get it, she’s a scholar and she loves stars which are SHINY…I’m so smart guys)
BUT BUT BUT there’s a lot of folklore attached to them which I thought was also fitting – my Mum is like *really* superstitious and growing up she always had me salute magpies and you had to ask how its “wife” was doing if it was on its own bc (apparently) if you didn’t you’d be inviting bad luck – there’s a little song/poem that goes “one for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told” so the idea is that if you see a lone magpie its an ill omen so you salute it n stuff to ward all that away bc you don’t have to salute a pair of magpies
Or maybe its just smth my Mum does idk BUT ANYWAY
I thought I could play with this a little bc in some cultures magpies are acc seen as signs of good luck and fortune, which brings me to Adelaide: she is an academic in an untamed land, an outsider among both frontier folk and the scholars who dismissed her, she longs for scientific recognition, yet finds freedom outside of its rigid institutions, she is a woman in a world that has no clear place for her—too independent for England’s high society and yet too refined for the lawless frontier. Like the magpie, she adapts, moving in a space that both welcomes and rejects her.
THEN, you have the “seven for a secret never to be told” which I felt was fitting for a shifter who doesn’t want to be found out AND THEN the “three for a girl, four for a boy” fit a bit as well, as she often poses as a man to further her academic pursuits (bit a stretch, maybe?? but idc im rolling with it)
In addition, magpies were almost hunted to extinction because people were so afraid of them, which I felt also fit with her place as not just a woman, but a woman in academia AND a shifter who’s trying her best not to get found out and skinned or smth. They’re ALSO associated with witchcraft, which fits too!!
Anyway enough about magpies, onto the actual character lmao.
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Adelaide’s defining trait is her insatiable curiosity. She is a woman who cannot look at the night sky without wondering what lies beyond it, who cannot hear a folk tale without questioning its origins, who cannot witness an injustice without demanding to know why the world is the way it is. She does not simply observe the world—she dissects it. Whether it’s the trajectory of a comet or the migration of birds, she sees patterns and logic in everything. Even when confronted with superstition, she doesn’t scoff outright—she analyzes, compares, and tries to understand why people believe what they do.
She does not downplay her knowledge for the comfort of others. When a man tries to explain something she already knows, she listens politely for about ten seconds before cutting him off with a far more detailed explanation. Her sharp tongue has made her enemies in both academic circles and the rugged frontier. She is rather exacting in her speech, rarely mincing her words. She dislikes vague statements, preferring specificity in all things. When others say "a bright star," she responds with, "Do you mean Sirius, Betelgeuse, or Vega?" This can make her seem arrogant, though in truth, she simply values accuracy. Besides, if anyone has earnt the right to be a bit arrogant, Adelaide would say it’s her.
Yet, for all her logic, there is an undercurrent of childlike wonder beneath her nose-stuck-in-a-book personality. The moment she gazes through her telescope, or rides the wind bathed in starlight, all pretense falls away, and she becomes a child staring at the heavens for the first time again.
Adelaide has always been an outsider, whether in Oxford’s elite intellectual circles or the rugged towns of the West. She does not belong to any one world, and she has long since given up trying to fit in. While she values solitude, there is a quiet ache of loneliness beneath her independence. She spends many nights staring at the sky, comforted by its constancy, yet knowing that the stars cannot speak back to her. In Oxford, she was too bold, too opinionated, too unwilling to be a wife first and a scholar second. In the West, she is too refined, too intellectual, too ignorant of the ways of outlaws and bounty hunters. She is always “too much” or “not enough” for the world around her.
Adelaide does not easily trust others, not just because of her “little secret”. She has met too many people who have either underestimated her or tried to use her intelligence for their own gain. When she does form connections, she values them deeply, though she often struggles to express this in words. Instead, she shows her care through small, practical gestures. Yet, despite her walls, there are moments—rare but profound—when someone earns her trust, and the walls crack just enough for light to slip through.
She keeps meticulous journals filled with astronomical calculations, weather patterns, and folk stories she gathers from the people she meets. Her saddlebags are filled with star charts, old books, and curious trinkets.
Once she sets her mind to something, she will not be dissuaded. If someone tells her a mountain is impossible to climb, she will reach the peak just to prove them wrong. It is both her greatest strength and her biggest flaw.
She has little patience for those who exploit others, whether it be a professor stealing credit for a woman’s discovery or a wealthy rancher cheating his workers. She does not take kindly to men who assume they can buy her loyalty or silence.
Though she claims she prefers to stay out of trouble, she has a habit of stepping in when someone is being mistreated. She does not pick fights often, but when she does, her words cut deeper than bullets. Adelaide does not resort to violence unless absolutely necessary, but she will ruin a man’s reputation, expose a fraud, or leave damning evidence where the right people can find it. She believes in the long game – vengeance is best served cold, calculated, and with irrefutable proof. She did learn some things from her upper class upbringing, after all.
Beneath her sharp intellect and hardened exterior, Adelaide has a deeply buried, fragile softness – one she rarely allows herself to indulge. She denies being sentimental, yet she cannot help but stop to admire a field of wildflowers or the way the Milky Way stretches across the sky. She has a poetic way of describing the cosmos, though she would never call herself a poet. Though she claims she does not care for fame, a small part of her fears that when she is gone, her work will be erased, her name lost. She has spent her life chasing knowledge, but in the quietest moments, she often wonders if anyone will remember her.
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Born in 1871 in Oxford, England, Adelaide Forsythe was the only child of Dr. Reginald Forsythe, a respected academic who specialised in mathematics and astronomy, and Margaret Forsythe, a woman of high social standing whose primary concern was ensuring her daughter’s successful integration into elite society. While Margaret sought to mold Adelaide into a proper young lady—one who would marry well and host extravagant dinner parties—Reginald saw his daughter’s keen mind and indulged her curiosity, albeit discreetly.
The Forsythe line carried old magic, ancient and restless, passed down in blood and bone. It was not the magic of spells or incantations, but of transformation—of slipping between forms, of becoming something other, something free.
Adelaide had been standing on the balcony of their estate, staring up at the night sky, when a sudden pull overtook her. Her skin burned, her bones ached, and before she could cry out, the world tilted. The next thing she knew, she was plummeting through the air — not falling, but flying. Tiny wings beat frantically as instinct overrode panic, and she soared above the rooftops, free in a way she had never known before.
And then she crashed, hard, into a chimney stack and tumbled ungracefully to the ground.
Her mother found her shivering in the garden at dawn. There were no screams, no hysteria — only a cold stare, a tight grip on Adelaide’s wrist, and a warning whispered with more force than any slap:
"You will never do that again. Do you understand me?"
Frightened by her parent’s stories of torture, death and other such things, Adelaide was keen to agree with her mother.
But nature does not forget so easily.
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As a young girl, Adelaide would sneak into her father’s study late at night, pouring over his scientific texts by candlelight. The first time she glimpsed Saturn’s rings through a telescope at the age of ten, she was transfixed. The chaos and expectations of human society seemed so small compared to the great, unending vastness that was the universe. She devoured every book she could find, often pestering her father’s academic colleagues with endless questions during social gatherings.
Her precocious nature made her an outlier among other girls her age. She had no interest in embroidery, courtship, or fashionable gossip. When she was fifteen, her mother caught her sneaking into her father’s lectures disguised in her brother’s old coat and hat. Furious and humiliated, Margaret demanded her father put an end to her academic pursuits, fearing that no reputable man would ever marry a woman who thought herself equal to scholars. But Reginald, torn between duty to his wife and pride in his daughter’s intellect, found a compromise — he arranged private lessons with an old friend, Professor William Crenshaw, one of the foremost astronomers of the era.
By the age of twenty, Adelaide was unofficially assisting at a local observatory, analyzing star catalogs, observing planetary movements, and even drafting papers under her brother’s name (Adam, who had wholeheartedly agreed to the plan) to bypass gender restrictions in scientific publishing. She developed a reputation for being fiercely intelligent but also unyielding, unwilling to temper her opinions for the comfort of her male peers.
Her greatest challenge, however, was not the task of unravelling the mysteries of the universe but the narrow minds of her peers. While some admired her brilliance, others saw her presence as a scandalous threat. When a comet she helped chart was credited to a male assistant instead of her, Adelaide protested openly. “If a woman’s eyes can see as far as a man’s, then her name should reach just as far,” she argued. Her defiance earned her both admiration and ire.
In 1891, her growing reputation secured her an invitation to travel westward to Lemoyne to observe a rare solar eclipse. This would be her first real taste of life beyond the confines of academia and upper class English society.
Lemoyne was unlike anything Adelaide had ever known—rugged, lawless, and ungoverned by the rigid structures she was so used to back home. The journey was treacherous; the expedition was plagued by broken equipment, aggressive wildlife, and even an attempted robbery by outlaws. Adelaide, having never fired a gun in her life, was nearly helpless, relying on the protection of local guides and her quick wit to survive.
Despite the hardships, she made her way to the observation site and witnessed the total eclipse—a perfect black void swallowing the sun, a fleeting moment of cosmic wonder. As she gazed at the event through her telescope, surrounded by untamed wilderness instead of university halls, something within her shifted. The American West was a world of mystery and discovery in its own right, she thought.
When she returned to England, she found herself restless. The constraints of her life now felt suffocating.
It was misfortune that eventually spurred her onwards. During a risky midnight flight, Adelaide had injured her wing, and as such, was stuck in her form for a while. A colleague of hers had found her near the University and had taken it upon himself to care for her — much to her horror, and her gratitude. Adelaide had hoped to escape before he found out but it was not to be. Upon finding not a freshly healed magpie, but a grown woman in his kitchen, the man understandably freaked out. He threatened to expose her secret — stating that she was to step down from her post if she wanted to (quite literally) save her skin.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Adelaide set out for the Americas once again — this time alone. With nothing but a collapsible brass telescope, a collection of notebooks, and a revolver she barely knew how to use, she sailed westward, determined to document the night sky from places few had ever studied before.
She traveled from town to town, funding her journey by selling star charts, lecturing at any schools that would take her (which were few and far between), as well as a sizeable fund from her father, who had helped her flee. She often sought out high ground, camping alone in the mountains or vast plains, sketching the heavens by firelight.
But the frontier was dangerous, and a woman traveling alone is easy prey, especially one of “her kind”. She learned to navigate both the celestial sphere and the lawless lands beneath it. She bribed hunters to look the other way, outwitted charlatans who sought to take advantage of her, and, after a close brush with a gang of highwaymen in New Austin, reluctantly learned how to use her revolver. Though not a natural fighter, she became adept at using her intellect to survive, talking her way out of most trouble before bullets were needed.
By 1899, the world was changing. The frontier was vanishing, swallowed by railroads and industry. Scientific institutions back east were growing in prestige, but still refused to fully recognize women.
Eleanor found herself caught between multiple worlds — too independent for the constraints of academia, too refined for the lawless plains of the West and too wild, too different for all of them.
She had spent years mapping the stars, but her greatest challenge remained: carving out a place where she, and her work, could live and be remembered.
She would never be a wife waiting at home, nor a delicate lady confined to parlors and polite conversation. Nor would she be held down and restrained because of the blood that ran through her veins.
She was a scholar, an explorer, a collector of knowledge and forgotten stories. A woman with a revolver in one hand and a telescope in the other, chasing the stars and riding the wind before the West faded into memory.
Because the world will change, the frontier will disappear, and one day, even the names of its greatest outlaws will be forgotten.
But the stars will remain. And so will she.
Either way, Adelaide would continue to look skyward, seeking answers in the infinite dark.
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Okay so that’s the end (so far)!! Hope you enjoyed!! I might expand on her and give her some friends (maybe even a girlfriend…heh) later but idk??
P.S. Adelaide would def be besties with that palaeontologist you meet who gives you that dino bone quest
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Some faithful x albus post
Tbh I was supposed to do this yesterday but I was celebrating eid and was too tired to draw💀💀
Inspired by:
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Ramble: I was actually planning to do this with makkaro and his darling but the way the og art perceives it seems more like pining lovers ykyk?? So I thought albus and faithful would've fit 🤷♀️🤷♀️ I couldn't get enough of them istg. I do planning to do a makkaro and darling next but it's more of a comic so it'll take some time for me to finish it so I'll have to post some other fanarts while finishing it up
#goodboyaudios#good boy audios#gba albus#gba faithful#gba faith#gba bastard warrior#bastard warrior series#bastard warrior#rp asmr#rp boyfriend#x listener#gba albus york#digital art#also i regretted that i made albus looked like he lost his sanity in the last fanart 💀💀#its fitting but also not idk how to explain it#but still loved how i did w the blood 🔥🔥#albus york
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Baizhu design :V ? For funsies totally not going to draw him or anything
had way too much fun with this one hahah
#listen i know that baizhu's eyes should be red in theory here but like#im too used to my golden eyed princess to change that#plus its funnier what with the whole childe crush list#also im sorry but i can't think how to explain it away rn#baizhu's not even a relevant character so it doesn't even matter but still#we'll just roll w it#anyway#we can name baizhu's snake smth else too#idk what#just in case anyone here doesn't realize gui is herbalist gui#hilariously enough gui also fits like. a good chunk of childe's crush list#like he's only missing the 'being able to beat his ass' and the 'deep voice'#the rest of it checks out iirc#childe; still a bit in shock at the revelation: huh- the husband is literally just some guy#gui; very friendly and polite and sweet invites ajax into the convo and never sidelines him and is always happy to meet new people:#childe; touched and charmed: yeah ok this makes sense actually. i get it#guizhong and ping yan only found out about the short crush like. months after LMAO#changsheng and gui are cannonically gossip buddies so i think the dynamic would be hilarious whenever baizhu goes to the clan#changsheng dumps a bunch of homework/tests on him to run and then goes sit w gui to the side to gossip for the rest of the day#she approved the husband from day1
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DTIYS results!!!
for #senseless400dtiys
3rd place!
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@peach-flavored-cyanide i really like this one, it's simple yet not overly neat, the texture is vry nice and its not too overwhelming despite it (also N's eye is so freaky so cool)
2nd place!!
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@azirakor i really like how the focus is on nightmare for this one, killer's pretty much just an object you can see tentacles going through his eyes and the way nightmare looks at him fdrnskjglhfruifojsd very nice
1st place!!! 🎉🎉🎉
@somehhuuuhh your stuff is amazing!!!! again i really love the colors you used here they're so bright and vibrant, it makes nightmare look so shiny, and nightmare's expression is just so delightful like he's so happy with himself i really love it!!!
honorable mentions!
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@error7227 & @gatorshighfive
thank you so much to everyone who participated!! (my first dtiys wowie so many ppl)
i'll send everyone a message for the prizes. if you dont get a message/if i don't reply to you for a while feel free to ask me again! sometimes i just forgor
#senseless400dtiys#dtiys#dtiys results#again thank you to everyone who participated!!!#i tried to add comments for each of them#do people do this? idk#mostly the same i said when i reblogged you so idk if its too repetitive#i just like over-explaining my train of thought when it comes to stuff i like#also its funny how ppl changed the lyrics#like i wouldn't have bothered with writing it again i would've just ctrl c ctrl v that shit#also funny thing you dont actually notice it until you look closer cuz its just a wall of text which i really like#i feel it fits the vibe i was going for with the og drawing
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im a he in the same way an animal who u do not know the gender of is a he i think
#brotherrr gender in confusing#some1 made me discuss my gender and maaan i really do not care i think#i use labels like agender and transmasc mostly to explain sorta in an easy way how my gender works bu i actually do not know or care that#much man like i do feel dysphoria yeah and would like my body 2 be more "masculine'#but i dont think i would call myself a man and woman is also not smth i would use for myself#neither nb but like i dont care what pronouns people use for me specially irl like yeah i would prefer he but honestly who care#i know the perception a stranger has of me doesnt really mater 2 me and in my family i know#boy or girl doesnt really hold that much weight like they just use she 4 me bc its what they have used 4 me since forever#and its not smth that really matters that much 2 them so i dont care much#so ig i would fit more with the agender label but idk i dont really care i think#oughhhh my head hurts if i start thinking abt my gender too hard wayy too complicated#aaaa#anyways rambles rambles#gh0ost txt
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i would LOVE to hear about more of your headcanons if youre willing to share….
I have so many and I love to share them :))) holiday flavored because that's what's on my mind
Chara is a big Christmas fan, not of the watches hallmark movies, and goes rabid over it, but they do really, really like it. It's their favorite holiday, and they dislike the whole capitalism angle, but they really like the other parts of the holiday. It probably goes against canon with gyftmas and all but I like the idea that their presence in the underground popularized it. Monsters were aware of Christmas through newspapers and the influx of decorations that would show up in the dump after said holiday but chara being so wistful about missing it is what inspired asgore to do the whole Santa thing. Mainly I just think the idea of naughty or nice vibes well with charas whole consequences thing and I want more noelle parallels with them <- that one comic hellspawnmotel did with them and noelle is another reason... it vibes so well with how I think chara behaves. Chara trying desperately to convince asriel Santa is real..(he has no idea who that is but is nodding along to the ridiculous things chara is trying to convince him of. )
Kris on the other hand is a total Halloween nerd. Being someone else? Being a MONSTER? yeah that's them. If kris and chara ever were to interact I think the only movie the two would agree on is Nightmare before Christmas before they immediately return to trying to kill each other. I think kris would lean more towards actual dislike of Christmas compared to chara. I also don't think either had good experiences with the holidays prior to being adopted by the dreemurrs, so for chara living with the dreemurrs is like a do-over where they get to experience it how they wanted to. But for kris it's just reliving uncomfortable memories- after the divorce and asriel moving away and dess dissapering- there's just too many things tied up in the holiday that upsets them. They might have started to like it after being adopted but it evolved into an actual distaste for it after everything else.
Flowey also likes Christmas he's really good at giving gifts (the save scummer probably went out of his way to memorize everyone's favorite things and while he claims to hate the holiday he gets secretly really proud when people like the gifts- but alas since he can't be seen being nice he didn't even include a 'from' sticker- except for the gifts he gave papyrus and frisk those ones Said "from: your best friend") issue is after the first two or three years post pacifist he starts running out of gift ideas since people regrettably change and most people don't like getting duplicates so he has to actually talk to the people he wants to give gifts too instead of just relying on his memories- good thing he can still just stalk them and eavesdrop!(the Ole reliable method) He's secretly and weirdly pleased nobody knows what to gift him in return- it makes him feel cool and mysterious. He does get annoyed after the third new pot and the second bag of fertilizer so he starts just heavily and blatantly hinting at what he wants- the second someone asks him directly though he acts like their stupid and will go on and on about how he doesn't need it or how impractical it would be. <- not a tsundere just stupid cringe kid who can't fathom the idea of people knowing he likes things, terrible!
Frisk approaches every holiday (including the small vague ones) with the exact same amount of energy- 100%. They are maximizing their holiday output- they want to celebrate everything! They do like some more than others mainly ones that deal with food like Thanksgiving or fun ones like April fools but they put alot of dedication into all of them. Valentines is their chance to practice terrible pick up lines and eat an unhealthy amount of candy (surprise surprise being the savior of monster kind gets a kid alot of Valentines gifts, and birthday gifts, and Christmas gifts, and new years gifts, and just because gifts- basically monsters love them and for the first couple years above ground monsters like just giving them things to show their appreciation- alphys has to keep updating their phone inventory) i like the idea undertale takes place during fall/ late winter and the phone calls take place almost a year after- so for frisk in any non pacifist timeline they are spending the holidays alone :( sad! Anyways- I also don't think frisk had a good time during the holidays either before falling underground so they like getting to experience them to the fullest and with as many people as possible...
#ourgh these r so disorganized heres some thoughts i couldnt fit in:#age wise i think chara is the youngest maybe a few months to a year younger than asriel but the dreemurrs dont know how old they are.#i also think kris and chara were adopted at different ages which also informs their world view. kris probably around 5 at the most maybe 6#young enough to not know the difference between monsters and humans but old enough to know their previous situation was bad mainly they#lived with the dreemurrs for longer than chara ever did so chara never gets that broken pedestal moment until AFTER they come back#chara was probably adopted between 8-11 age wise and i dont think they had the ability to reset while they were alive but thats for another#post. frisk i prefer being a year older than chara but maturity wise they balance each other out <- idk how to explain it#okay real tag time:#utdr#headcanons#chara dreemurr#chara#asriel dreemurr#flowey#flowey undertale#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#frisk undertale#frisk the human#undertale headcanons#Christmas mention#? pls tell me if their are other things i need to tag this 4 filtering purposes 😅#i will answer the backstory ask! but i need my computer for that one since its alot and goes into my hcs for gaster to explain <3#oh right:#KFC#what the name for all of them...#FACK#??????#hastag my headcanons
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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you make really good points, I think I used the term karmic wrong sorry. I think of it more as not how I personally think he deserved all that happened to him (which thinking back os exactly what karma means, I messed up sorry), but as his fate being directly tied/parallel to anyas. I handnt noticed the toxicity of jimmy and curlys relationship, from the first playthrough I watched and the first interactions I had w fandom I saw so many ppl just. dismiss the terror Anya went through and focus too much on him as the "ultimate victim" and that just didn't sit well w me. I really dislike seeing ppl go "oh well nothing could've been done" I think it's much more complex than that. also I forgot to mention in the last ask that I really appreciate you bringing the point that this game isn't just about the harm of patriarchy but also very very critical to capitalism, I haven't seen too many ppl touch on this. I hadn't thought too deeply about how it makes "he deserved to become disabled as punishment" come up and I agree that's really messed up. I'll try watching a playthrough again with all of this in mind. but either way thanks! I really appreciate your answer 🫶🏼
I guess this is just part of being in a fandom like this. I've noticed a lot of people don't actually see posts outside of their curated view. So some people only get like anya posting or jimmy or curly and it can make it seem like that is what is saturating the conversation.
I mainly just follow the general tags and look for anything new because I'm like obsessed but I know some are only looking for what they want or believe to be the case and can get weird about other ideas.
Sorry if I came off mean its just a last few of the asks have been like circular conversations like this and its not draining per say but seeing all the nuance and details get overlooked to fit a straightforward and basic narrative really sucks cause there's a lot to explore character and theme wise.
#its like idk i feel like im yapping about the same stuff over and over and over again cause people confuse simple on paper with simple in#execution or like without the human factor like idk sometimes to humanzie Anya people dehumanize the other characters to an extent#which is also part of the systemic problem because by dehumanizing people you take away from the awareness like idk the statements#that curly was the captain and just a guy like have to exist together hes like an okay find decent even good captain just not great#hes not exceptional and i think a lot of people are acting like the game said he is when thats just jimmy like Swansea and Anya see that he#just a guy under everything else hence why they dont feed into the vitriol jimmy tries to serve about him crashing the ship and how they#talk to him pre crash even with anya i feel like people are so focused on trying to see what jimmy doesnt that they are adding intention w#where there isnt not even on like she cant be this scale more so you are treating this like everyone in this game is doing some secret gran#gambit when they are just trying to surviv in really back circumstances like having anya respond to jimmys behaviro through the#fawn effect isnt making her a weak depiction its a real response that can coexist with purposeful action because she is clearly scared of#Jimmy even if she hates and thinks he's incompentent like shes not gonna roll over for him but shes gonna be docile in his presence so he#doesnt create a reason in his head to lash out at her like people simply cannot combine concepts to create the complex responses we see in#the game and idkn why its so hard because not every statement contridicts like Jimmy is a monsterous asshole can exist with how#systematic oppression and social enabling create/allow people like him to do their worse cause at the end of the day he chose to do#everything he did despite other options vs the others trying to figure out the best option for all whether that was the best or not like#he dug his own grave vs the others sorta being lined up in front of theirs and shot like this is more interesting to me than him just being#like idk cartoonishly evil and gross and why cant concepts stakes like fitting aspects together is fun its like the worlds shitties puzzle#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anon#ask#ur fine anon im just insane and get frustrated easily when i think im explaining something bad
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tonight's little doodles
#doodle#lcb#meursault lcb#meurgreg#im trying to be less self conscious about making meurgreg or any ship art really#twt has exposed me to everyone having an opinion on every ship ever#which has made me back away from making too much art of any one ship#i know meurgreg is one of the most popular ships but because of that i also feel an odd sense of guilt#i cant explain it like i should use my art to contribute to a rare pair or smth idk#its all a bit weird and irrational#but ive realized i have not been able to make art for myself for months#every idea i have and everything i go forward to draw im always thinking about how others will feel about it#and how i can make it better fit or adequate for an audience so i dont let them down or bore them#and that mindset has made art so much of a chore that ive significantly slowed down so much on art at all#so idk#trying to stop overthinking and just draw what i feel to the extent that i feel#escape the perfectionism and wanting to please everyone as much as possible#to elaborate on the weird meurgreg feeling i guess its like#i feel guilty for filling tags even more with an already popular ship & making mutuals who dont like meurgreg see it more#but its just not that deep#people can mute meurgreg and thats just not my problem anyway#sry ab these tags!
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Honestly, having good days like this is good for me mentally. Because not only does it put my usual struggles into perspective, forcing me to accept that I have a tendency to severely downplay just how much they impede me... but it also gives me perspective about my self perceived laziness.
Like, the fact that I become almost abnormally productive and energetic compared even to abled people the very instant that my pain and all of the other issues are all gone? I'm not lazy! And I know logically that teachers telling me that over and over growing up was wrong, but it still shocks me in new ways to this day just how deeply ingrained this perception of myself is.
Like, is it laziness? Or am I just averse to doing things that will physically punish me? Today reminded me that it's very much the latter.
#and its not even an overcompensation thing#i am genuinely ambitious and energetic by nature! in fact i think thats part of why i still manage to do some things#im also optimistic at heart because im always excited to try new things and dont really fear failure or being bad at it#i guess persistent is another fitting word#ALL THAT TO SAY today is most likely what i would be like all the time if i wasnt ill!#and so i once more ask myself: in what world could 'lazy' ever be remotely true#its strange how vindicated i feel rn but its so like#idk ive been so down this whole year but recently theres been a major turnaround mentally#i cant explain it but i feel like theres a new level of self acceptance after today#that its not all in my head and that im not making a bigger deal out of my issues than is valid#because if i were anywhere near healthy i would live like today EVERY day without even thinking about it#silvi talks
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my bachelors of linguistics speaking to me like jim carreys 1994 the mask whenever people around me start making wildly incorrect statements about language
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#m#‘why is the auslan sign for ‘x’ that it doesn’t look like the word at all’#idk how to explain to you that auslan is not signed english#‘english is the hardest language to learn because of all the irregularities’#all languages are complex and irregular that’s just what happens when you try to fit the infinity of the universe into a finite system#also language acquisition difficulty really depends on its relation to your native language#i hate to be like the 🤓☝️ erm actually guy
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#i wanted to add more options but my brain is functioning at aboit 25% rn so pls forgive me#also blurb i think is a british word but i couldnt think of what else its called#its basically the part at the back of the book that kind of gives a general... vibe? summary? ish? for the book#again like i said. 25%#but yes i personally prefer to go into books with as little info as possible so i often skip it#but there has been once or twice where ive been confused to went to read the blurb and it helped me underatand the book more (this is how#you lose the time war) and other books where when ive read the blurb its either been so badly written/doesnt fit/completely misleading that#its made me feel justified in not wanting to read the blurb#but yeah#curious to see if anyone else has an opinion on this#i imagine not but it is 2am so i may as well ask#le text post#polls#bookblr#books#i imagine this wont show up in tags because ive waffled so much but alas what can you do#have me not go on in the tags???? simply not possible#lol i didnt even like explain further context#BASICALLY: i dont read the blurb because i prefer figuring out the story a book is trying to tell by myself#but my question here is asking whether that is not what i should be doing and reading the blurb is actually essential to understanding the#novel. idk if that makes any sense if anyone needs further confirmation feels free to ask qs
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What's with all the "Them and Us" stuff I mean. I thought the whole point of this acceptance stuff is realising that despite all the little differences everyone is still kind of similar in the way that they should be granted at least the basic but of respect everyone deserves? Call me naïve and childish but isn't the point of all this to Not have the clear distinction between people who are slightly different? Isn't the whole point to Not have a "Them" and an "Us"?
#been doing a lot of national socialism in history again and idk#something about the goebbels speeches man#i know i know insane comparison but there everything also started with establishing a ''Them'' against a ''We''#that was like half of the ideology you know?#and I don't like seeing stuff like that these days because it's so stupid and actually seems more harmful in the long run#if thid makes sense#now you feel good because you have your bubble of other...idk. socially acceptable level of mentally ill people for example#and you're in this community with people who understand you so obviously you don't want to leave#and thats fine#i just always think it's a bit stranhe when it starts sounding like... you know#there's a lot of memes juxtaposing a very specific symptom of a disorder or something with just ''non mentally ill people'' for example#and I get it its a silly little joke#but words do something and if it's this ''oh they'll never understand they're just not X enough'' it just#i really really can't explain it well but it just rubs me the wrong way#is this silly?#it feels a little silly#maybe I just have too much Nazi ideology in my head but it's this pattern of infighting and the growing comfort with being rude or outright#mean online and the splintering in more and more groups with little sub groups and nobody actually seems to take a step back and look at the#larger picture#because they're all content in their little groups of people who are exactly like them#I'm not even saying I'm exempt from this who knows maybe I am also like that#but I don't really like half the people i see every day and I always feel a little like i don't fit in because with most of them I don't#but I don't really think thats a bad thing because how boring would it be to be surrounded by people who think just like i do#nothing new can come of that after a while no?#I'm sleepy i don't know if I make any sense but I've just been marinating on it a tad...
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I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop
#this one is straight so there's no room for delusion which is good#but my burning need to be her most favorite is eating me from the inside#it IS making me better at my job though#.......i mean i think so but what the fuck do i know#on friday night amongst the grueling psychosexual chaos that ensued a very smart guy that I LOVE said to me#i have no doubts you're gonna be a great psychiatrist actually#i traded a month with him to have another month with her#he's a phenomenologist she's a psychodynamic....ist? rival theories#I don't like most of psychodynamic theory.......so far#but i love the way she works and i can see how well it fits with her manymanyMANY patients and goddamnit i love personality dosorders#so i made the choice to go with her yes and im very torn casue i LOVE that guy and i wish i could become his friend like my bff from my year#also.......kind of dumb of me since I'd only soend two days a week woth her and the other three with very scary ladies#but I've been in scarier situation i can manage#and god when she praises me (silently obv she's only been forward about my merit ONCE and i almost pissed myself like an overexcited dog)#the endorphin rush is........man#but yes i need to work on this.......idk how to define it. closest i can get to explaining it is professional sub space#with strong aspects of praise kink#pathetic is what it is really#but hey if it makes me study harder who fucking cares right#I'm gonna be the smartest most intuitive fucking bitch amongst my peers so if I can't have her (them) carnally then goddamnit#I'LL HAVE THEIR PRAISE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRATION AT LEAST#........I'll be normal again in a week or two i just need to get over these next couple of days of....idk. inflammation i guess#yeah it's just like an infected wound right now#angry red throbbing hot pain#i know the drill it'll be better in a couple of days you just need to not freak out and let it do its thing#it's nice to be mature-r about emotional impulsivity and the shame that comes after an episode of deregulation#it really doesn't have to be a big deal even while it still feels like it#it still hurts but it's like......hour three of a tattoo. it's a bitch but you know it's gonna be over eventually and wriggling won't work#the only thing left to do is enjoying it all while it's happening or trying to#I don't think I'm doing a great job but what're you gonna do right
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One of the things that got said yesterday about the Veilguard character creator is SOME factions give you the option to further customise your background
e.g. specifically choose to be a Dalish elf rather than a City elf
but not which factions have what options?
And since i'm trying to avoid a looot of the more spoilery stuff being revealed, I was wondering if anyones actually managed to collate what options have been mentioned as available for each faction?
(At the very least, I'd specifically like to know if theres a bit more customisation possible with the Shadow Dragons? Namely, being able to choose which social class your Rook comes from)
#dragon age#i kinda dont want to try and skim a billion write ups to see if someones gone into more depth about this?#it was just a passing comment in the one video i did listen to just to find out what the backgrounds were#then the rest of the video was the video creator explaining what kinds of characters they think would best fit each class....#i want to know how deep the actual in game options ARE#i have no problems making my own fun with my backstory in my head but also... if it can be reflected in game?? 👀👀#idk man i just feel like shadow dragons is such a GOOD background for someone in the Liberati class#and if its actually reflected in in-game dialogue that would be interesting
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cried at work today! i’m now 3/3 for crying at jobs :)
#i just dont fit in#and one guy in particular makes a real effort to exclude me#like straight up ignoring me#if he has a question about what im doing he asks somebody near me what im doing#instead of me#if i greet him he doesnt respond#but he’ll greet someone i’m standing next to#and others are politer but i can still tell they dont like me#i dont get the humour. i cant fit innnnn#im trying to be nice and work hard but i feel like such a burden and an outsider#also one is so touchy with me and kinda flirty and it makes me uncomfortable lol#so uhmm i just feel like everyone is talking about me behind my back and im the biggest fucking joke#and im probably right lol#ALSO excuse me if this is terminally online coded#but it makes me wonder if im autistic. bc i had the same problem at my last job#where i felt like i was being excluded and wondered if it was bc i wasnt picking up on social cues?#like i want people to just tell me to my face whats up#and i need things explained to me plainly#but idk i might also be like self absorbed and stupid. its very possible#sometimes ur just an idiot who didnt socialise enough as a child and now doesnt know how to be normal
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