#its fitting but also not idk how to explain it
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NPD SOUL PROPAGANDA IS SUCCESSFULY WORKING ✅✅✅
As a person with npd I always just need to have one (head)canon npd character in any fandom or else I can't really enjoy it. BUT SOUL IS REALLY SO NPD CORE DHJDJSJSDJFJJFJG I JUST CAN'T SAY HOW MUCH I RELATE TO MANY OF MY NPD HEADCANONS OF HIM.
I think that he has like a lot of narcissistic crashes (I don't even know who wouldn't have them if they were stuck with two ABSOLUTELY INSUFFERABLE GUYS). Heart and Mind always arguing, they rarely listen to Soul and that's why all of he's ideals (which are VERY important for any person with npd) just left unheard and ignored. Nobody will show just a little bit of respect to him. Honestly I don't even know when this guy will finally have narcissistic highs (looks like never)... And persons with npd still really often have a lot of bpd traits sooo I guess he even might have both of this disorders...
NPD MIND IS ALSO SO REAL. Honestly I must say that he's probably the most narcissistic one of all three (I don't count Whole, at least for now)... Think about emotions like weakness is really common for npd too (at least I often have episodes with these thoughts and I heard about similar experience from some other people with npd. And also thoughts about that just really sounds like something like npd). But tbh I don't relate to Mind as much as I relate to Soul... Idk why because usually I relate to characters with only npd / characters with npd + aspd (I don't have aspd but I think I have a lot of its traits).
HMMM, ASPD HEART. I didn't think about this idea really much but this sounds like a theme for a big analysis. STRONG AND UNCONVENTIONAL MORAL CODE MY FAVORITEEE PART OF ASPD CHARACTERS. And it just explains like really many things in Heart's behavior so right. I also thought about hpd Heart but I think I was in a little but wrong condition and didn't really analyse him right. Aspd + hpd combo won't sound really wrong for him (honestly I can't remember any headcanon on any character with this disorders combo. Maybe it's me way too forgetful or idk). We actually need more hpd headcanons, people ignore this pd sm.
And if we talk about not only personally disorders but disorders in general... I REALLY THINK THAT SOMEONE OF THEM MIGHT HAVE OCD. And idk it just fits them all right.
Heart looks like really anxious person with more obsessions than compulsions for me. Also if we think about him as a person with aspd i guess obsessions will be often somehow connected to his strong moral code beliefs. If we talk about compulsions... Again, I think he has more obsessions than compulsions, but when he actually have the second things it'll take really long time to complete all this rituals.
If we talk about ocd Mind... I think he'll be really irritated because of obsessions. Not only because they're really messing person's life (I hate my own obsessions so much fr) but because persons with ocd can often say about how their obsessions are irrational (I often think like that too and sometimes people use this to demonize ocd and it's ABSOLUTELY AWFUL URGHHH). Just think about super "rational" guy having disorder with "irrational" symptoms. I think it'll also fit npd headcanon of him, I think sometimes he might even have narc.crashes because of his obsessions.
And we talk about ocd Soul... Again, I just associate him with myself so much and that's why I have an ocd headcanon of him too! I just think he would have a lot of obsessions about his ideals and how they're always ignored. And his compulsions will look really strange to many people (remember never say to person with ocd that their obsessions are strange, NEVER).
I hate this stigma so much. Many people just can't understand that person with disorder don't always do bad thing and that people without disorders can do bad things too! This is so annoying and frustrating sometimes ughhh.
bpd soul propaganda
his relationships with heart and mind are extremely tumultuous. he alternates between encouraging support and harsh criticism. he wants them to be close and loves them, but he's easily frustrated by their conflict and despises them for it.
he seeks a stability that seems impossible for him to achieve. when he doesn't feel like he can be stable, he threatens suicide because it feels like his only option. suicidal and self-destructive behavior is really common in bpd, especially in response to interpersonal distress and instability.
he has very little sense of self. identity isn't something he feels like he has the right to have (since personal separation is contradictory to trying to be Whole), but also, it seems like something he just can't get a grip on even if he tried.
I think that he has extreme attachment issues in concord. he's terrified that things will go wrong again, worried one of them will get hurt or disappear whenever he's not keeping an eye on them. he wants to know exactly where they are and be told when they're leaving because otherwise he'll panic about their absence.
on that note, his fears of hurting them or ruining things when things seem stable are something a lot of people with bpd struggle with. there's this underlying fear that the things "inherently wrong with you" will ruin everything you touch, either because of personal experience or internalized demonization.
if you headcanon Whole as a distinct person, that would be his favorite person. the extreme, almost religious idealization and having your entire sense of self revolving around a person (or really, the perception of perfection you have of a person) is a clear sign of having a favorite person. the abandonment issues would also be the worst with Whole, for obvious reasons
also i think it would be neat if this was a more widespread concept
#npd#aspd#bpd#hpd#cluster b#ocd#cccc#cccc soul#cccc mind#cccc heart#cccc headcanon#WE'RE AGAINST STIGMATIZATION!!!#okay i wrote more than i planned#FINALLY I CAN TALK MORE ABOUT PSYCHIATRY RELATED THINGS HEHE
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Some faithful x albus post
Tbh I was supposed to do this yesterday but I was celebrating eid and was too tired to draw💀💀
Inspired by:
Ramble: I was actually planning to do this with makkaro and his darling but the way the og art perceives it seems more like pining lovers ykyk?? So I thought albus and faithful would've fit 🤷♀️🤷♀️ I couldn't get enough of them istg. I do planning to do a makkaro and darling next but it's more of a comic so it'll take some time for me to finish it so I'll have to post some other fanarts while finishing it up
#goodboyaudios#good boy audios#gba albus#gba faithful#gba faith#gba bastard warrior#bastard warrior series#bastard warrior#rp asmr#rp boyfriend#x listener#gba albus york#digital art#also i regretted that i made albus looked like he lost his sanity in the last fanart 💀💀#its fitting but also not idk how to explain it#but still loved how i did w the blood 🔥🔥#albus york
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Baizhu design :V ? For funsies totally not going to draw him or anything
had way too much fun with this one hahah
#listen i know that baizhu's eyes should be red in theory here but like#im too used to my golden eyed princess to change that#plus its funnier what with the whole childe crush list#also im sorry but i can't think how to explain it away rn#baizhu's not even a relevant character so it doesn't even matter but still#we'll just roll w it#anyway#we can name baizhu's snake smth else too#idk what#just in case anyone here doesn't realize gui is herbalist gui#hilariously enough gui also fits like. a good chunk of childe's crush list#like he's only missing the 'being able to beat his ass' and the 'deep voice'#the rest of it checks out iirc#childe; still a bit in shock at the revelation: huh- the husband is literally just some guy#gui; very friendly and polite and sweet invites ajax into the convo and never sidelines him and is always happy to meet new people:#childe; touched and charmed: yeah ok this makes sense actually. i get it#guizhong and ping yan only found out about the short crush like. months after LMAO#changsheng and gui are cannonically gossip buddies so i think the dynamic would be hilarious whenever baizhu goes to the clan#changsheng dumps a bunch of homework/tests on him to run and then goes sit w gui to the side to gossip for the rest of the day#she approved the husband from day1
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im a he in the same way an animal who u do not know the gender of is a he i think
#brotherrr gender in confusing#some1 made me discuss my gender and maaan i really do not care i think#i use labels like agender and transmasc mostly to explain sorta in an easy way how my gender works bu i actually do not know or care that#much man like i do feel dysphoria yeah and would like my body 2 be more "masculine'#but i dont think i would call myself a man and woman is also not smth i would use for myself#neither nb but like i dont care what pronouns people use for me specially irl like yeah i would prefer he but honestly who care#i know the perception a stranger has of me doesnt really mater 2 me and in my family i know#boy or girl doesnt really hold that much weight like they just use she 4 me bc its what they have used 4 me since forever#and its not smth that really matters that much 2 them so i dont care much#so ig i would fit more with the agender label but idk i dont really care i think#oughhhh my head hurts if i start thinking abt my gender too hard wayy too complicated#aaaa#anyways rambles rambles#gh0ost txt
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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Honestly, having good days like this is good for me mentally. Because not only does it put my usual struggles into perspective, forcing me to accept that I have a tendency to severely downplay just how much they impede me... but it also gives me perspective about my self perceived laziness.
Like, the fact that I become almost abnormally productive and energetic compared even to abled people the very instant that my pain and all of the other issues are all gone? I'm not lazy! And I know logically that teachers telling me that over and over growing up was wrong, but it still shocks me in new ways to this day just how deeply ingrained this perception of myself is.
Like, is it laziness? Or am I just averse to doing things that will physically punish me? Today reminded me that it's very much the latter.
#and its not even an overcompensation thing#i am genuinely ambitious and energetic by nature! in fact i think thats part of why i still manage to do some things#im also optimistic at heart because im always excited to try new things and dont really fear failure or being bad at it#i guess persistent is another fitting word#ALL THAT TO SAY today is most likely what i would be like all the time if i wasnt ill!#and so i once more ask myself: in what world could 'lazy' ever be remotely true#its strange how vindicated i feel rn but its so like#idk ive been so down this whole year but recently theres been a major turnaround mentally#i cant explain it but i feel like theres a new level of self acceptance after today#that its not all in my head and that im not making a bigger deal out of my issues than is valid#because if i were anywhere near healthy i would live like today EVERY day without even thinking about it#silvi talks
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my bachelors of linguistics speaking to me like jim carreys 1994 the mask whenever people around me start making wildly incorrect statements about language
#m#‘why is the auslan sign for ‘x’ that it doesn’t look like the word at all’#idk how to explain to you that auslan is not signed english#‘english is the hardest language to learn because of all the irregularities’#all languages are complex and irregular that’s just what happens when you try to fit the infinity of the universe into a finite system#also language acquisition difficulty really depends on its relation to your native language#i hate to be like the 🤓☝️ erm actually guy
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tonight's little doodles
#doodle#lcb#meursault lcb#meurgreg#im trying to be less self conscious about making meurgreg or any ship art really#twt has exposed me to everyone having an opinion on every ship ever#which has made me back away from making too much art of any one ship#i know meurgreg is one of the most popular ships but because of that i also feel an odd sense of guilt#i cant explain it like i should use my art to contribute to a rare pair or smth idk#its all a bit weird and irrational#but ive realized i have not been able to make art for myself for months#every idea i have and everything i go forward to draw im always thinking about how others will feel about it#and how i can make it better fit or adequate for an audience so i dont let them down or bore them#and that mindset has made art so much of a chore that ive significantly slowed down so much on art at all#so idk#trying to stop overthinking and just draw what i feel to the extent that i feel#escape the perfectionism and wanting to please everyone as much as possible#to elaborate on the weird meurgreg feeling i guess its like#i feel guilty for filling tags even more with an already popular ship & making mutuals who dont like meurgreg see it more#but its just not that deep#people can mute meurgreg and thats just not my problem anyway#sry ab these tags!
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you make really good points, I think I used the term karmic wrong sorry. I think of it more as not how I personally think he deserved all that happened to him (which thinking back os exactly what karma means, I messed up sorry), but as his fate being directly tied/parallel to anyas. I handnt noticed the toxicity of jimmy and curlys relationship, from the first playthrough I watched and the first interactions I had w fandom I saw so many ppl just. dismiss the terror Anya went through and focus too much on him as the "ultimate victim" and that just didn't sit well w me. I really dislike seeing ppl go "oh well nothing could've been done" I think it's much more complex than that. also I forgot to mention in the last ask that I really appreciate you bringing the point that this game isn't just about the harm of patriarchy but also very very critical to capitalism, I haven't seen too many ppl touch on this. I hadn't thought too deeply about how it makes "he deserved to become disabled as punishment" come up and I agree that's really messed up. I'll try watching a playthrough again with all of this in mind. but either way thanks! I really appreciate your answer 🫶🏼
I guess this is just part of being in a fandom like this. I've noticed a lot of people don't actually see posts outside of their curated view. So some people only get like anya posting or jimmy or curly and it can make it seem like that is what is saturating the conversation.
I mainly just follow the general tags and look for anything new because I'm like obsessed but I know some are only looking for what they want or believe to be the case and can get weird about other ideas.
Sorry if I came off mean its just a last few of the asks have been like circular conversations like this and its not draining per say but seeing all the nuance and details get overlooked to fit a straightforward and basic narrative really sucks cause there's a lot to explore character and theme wise.
#its like idk i feel like im yapping about the same stuff over and over and over again cause people confuse simple on paper with simple in#execution or like without the human factor like idk sometimes to humanzie Anya people dehumanize the other characters to an extent#which is also part of the systemic problem because by dehumanizing people you take away from the awareness like idk the statements#that curly was the captain and just a guy like have to exist together hes like an okay find decent even good captain just not great#hes not exceptional and i think a lot of people are acting like the game said he is when thats just jimmy like Swansea and Anya see that he#just a guy under everything else hence why they dont feed into the vitriol jimmy tries to serve about him crashing the ship and how they#talk to him pre crash even with anya i feel like people are so focused on trying to see what jimmy doesnt that they are adding intention w#where there isnt not even on like she cant be this scale more so you are treating this like everyone in this game is doing some secret gran#gambit when they are just trying to surviv in really back circumstances like having anya respond to jimmys behaviro through the#fawn effect isnt making her a weak depiction its a real response that can coexist with purposeful action because she is clearly scared of#Jimmy even if she hates and thinks he's incompentent like shes not gonna roll over for him but shes gonna be docile in his presence so he#doesnt create a reason in his head to lash out at her like people simply cannot combine concepts to create the complex responses we see in#the game and idkn why its so hard because not every statement contridicts like Jimmy is a monsterous asshole can exist with how#systematic oppression and social enabling create/allow people like him to do their worse cause at the end of the day he chose to do#everything he did despite other options vs the others trying to figure out the best option for all whether that was the best or not like#he dug his own grave vs the others sorta being lined up in front of theirs and shot like this is more interesting to me than him just being#like idk cartoonishly evil and gross and why cant concepts stakes like fitting aspects together is fun its like the worlds shitties puzzle#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anon#ask#ur fine anon im just insane and get frustrated easily when i think im explaining something bad
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I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop
#this one is straight so there's no room for delusion which is good#but my burning need to be her most favorite is eating me from the inside#it IS making me better at my job though#.......i mean i think so but what the fuck do i know#on friday night amongst the grueling psychosexual chaos that ensued a very smart guy that I LOVE said to me#i have no doubts you're gonna be a great psychiatrist actually#i traded a month with him to have another month with her#he's a phenomenologist she's a psychodynamic....ist? rival theories#I don't like most of psychodynamic theory.......so far#but i love the way she works and i can see how well it fits with her manymanyMANY patients and goddamnit i love personality dosorders#so i made the choice to go with her yes and im very torn casue i LOVE that guy and i wish i could become his friend like my bff from my year#also.......kind of dumb of me since I'd only soend two days a week woth her and the other three with very scary ladies#but I've been in scarier situation i can manage#and god when she praises me (silently obv she's only been forward about my merit ONCE and i almost pissed myself like an overexcited dog)#the endorphin rush is........man#but yes i need to work on this.......idk how to define it. closest i can get to explaining it is professional sub space#with strong aspects of praise kink#pathetic is what it is really#but hey if it makes me study harder who fucking cares right#I'm gonna be the smartest most intuitive fucking bitch amongst my peers so if I can't have her (them) carnally then goddamnit#I'LL HAVE THEIR PRAISE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRATION AT LEAST#........I'll be normal again in a week or two i just need to get over these next couple of days of....idk. inflammation i guess#yeah it's just like an infected wound right now#angry red throbbing hot pain#i know the drill it'll be better in a couple of days you just need to not freak out and let it do its thing#it's nice to be mature-r about emotional impulsivity and the shame that comes after an episode of deregulation#it really doesn't have to be a big deal even while it still feels like it#it still hurts but it's like......hour three of a tattoo. it's a bitch but you know it's gonna be over eventually and wriggling won't work#the only thing left to do is enjoying it all while it's happening or trying to#I don't think I'm doing a great job but what're you gonna do right
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One of the things that got said yesterday about the Veilguard character creator is SOME factions give you the option to further customise your background
e.g. specifically choose to be a Dalish elf rather than a City elf
but not which factions have what options?
And since i'm trying to avoid a looot of the more spoilery stuff being revealed, I was wondering if anyones actually managed to collate what options have been mentioned as available for each faction?
(At the very least, I'd specifically like to know if theres a bit more customisation possible with the Shadow Dragons? Namely, being able to choose which social class your Rook comes from)
#dragon age#i kinda dont want to try and skim a billion write ups to see if someones gone into more depth about this?#it was just a passing comment in the one video i did listen to just to find out what the backgrounds were#then the rest of the video was the video creator explaining what kinds of characters they think would best fit each class....#i want to know how deep the actual in game options ARE#i have no problems making my own fun with my backstory in my head but also... if it can be reflected in game?? 👀👀#idk man i just feel like shadow dragons is such a GOOD background for someone in the Liberati class#and if its actually reflected in in-game dialogue that would be interesting
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cried at work today! i’m now 3/3 for crying at jobs :)
#i just dont fit in#and one guy in particular makes a real effort to exclude me#like straight up ignoring me#if he has a question about what im doing he asks somebody near me what im doing#instead of me#if i greet him he doesnt respond#but he’ll greet someone i’m standing next to#and others are politer but i can still tell they dont like me#i dont get the humour. i cant fit innnnn#im trying to be nice and work hard but i feel like such a burden and an outsider#also one is so touchy with me and kinda flirty and it makes me uncomfortable lol#so uhmm i just feel like everyone is talking about me behind my back and im the biggest fucking joke#and im probably right lol#ALSO excuse me if this is terminally online coded#but it makes me wonder if im autistic. bc i had the same problem at my last job#where i felt like i was being excluded and wondered if it was bc i wasnt picking up on social cues?#like i want people to just tell me to my face whats up#and i need things explained to me plainly#but idk i might also be like self absorbed and stupid. its very possible#sometimes ur just an idiot who didnt socialise enough as a child and now doesnt know how to be normal
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i do think that the fact that rouxls puts on a faux shakespearean accent while being such a theatrical/performative character is very fun to me... like obviously its all joke shit and im probably thinking too hard about it sfdjkn but it is fun to me
#when i call him dramatic i dont just mean in the sense of his exaggeration of everything (though that fits as well)#but like. in literally like. vague hand motions idk how to explain it but yknow??#its just fun like he sucks at the performance he tries to keep up like he sucks at everything else but yeah#(thats also why i made my human au him a failed actor but thats kinda unrelated and also no one gaf fadjkl)#txt
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nawt the first aid uni classes payin off.
#have a looootta dressin/bandages left over. like. lots#jus replaced the old one for the night#sigh#i feel really. yeah yeha idk how 2 explain but expect a vent#vent#ahead!!#idk i have such a strange relationship with sеlfhаrm cause it is wat it is but i m also unironically attracted 2 pain in blood in a way dat#makes it exhilaratin when i start doin it. so i cant stop. so i needs someone 2 keep me compny 2 ;b able 2 stop. which is a whole new layer#of disgustin n lowly i think. likr why am i drawn to things dat destroy me. he was right.#like im nawt tryin 2 any kind of -ise jt romanictise normalise etc but its suxh. a Thing 2 me. i do it ina fit of rage or hate n end up#directin it into. a weird sense of pleasure. why.#obviously it hurts as a bitch once im outta it but. okay....#i think due 2 dat feelin is exacly why im leanin into it so heavily like#yea ppl use it as a way 2 translate their emotional pain into physical but 4 me its litwrally like#oh X happened. lemme do Y 2 myself 2 give me a rush#it doesn rly mattwr tho. naw matter da reaosn its still da same thing w the samw outcome#ill stop..one day
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can i access the tunglr on work wifi but not discord. insane
#toy txt post#apologies in advance. nonzero chance this means i liveblog The Horrors. of slogging thru work#and or also liveblog. my own going insane over tryimg to remake character playlists now that the characters have evolved enough#that i look at their og playlists like.......what was i thinking#mostly. mostly Bytte#its just#hard to find things that match Bytte or Headloose or both of them and their. fucked up little dynamic both tonally and lyrically?#like in theory i Want to put Shakiras She Wolf on Bytte's playlist. its so iconic and In Theory. it could match. i could force it#in practice........god i dont even know how to expkain how it does not fit Bytte like....tonally and probably not even lyrically#i love bridge city sinners sound and a lot of their lyrics and would love to put them on both playlists but like lyrically and subject wise#theres just.....not much that fits?#i might be willing to try to explain Why It Doesnt Fit if i had more time ? and wasnt just typing in between printing labels..idk#and defining what doesnt work and why might in turn help me find more stuff that Does#i think i need to listen to a little more uhhhhhh. megan thee stallion? is that how u spell her name? for bytte. unsure. its so tricky#like half the shit on her playlist like only a couple lines in the song Really vibe w me idk#i actually just. remade her playlist completely the other day and im less mad at it now but it still could use a lot of improvement#theres not a good like.....flow between the songs? ig?#need to. figure out headloose now also.i think in fairness when i made Bytte's playlist i still hadnt really developed her as a character#much at all yet? idk#im not As Mad at either of Headloose's playlists theres just a bunch i need to add and reorganize and prolly need to trim? and tbh i prolly#need to just honestly make multiple separate playlists for all of them like i did for Suki....#that will be similar and have plenty of overlap but have different nuances for the different eras of their lives#like. idk maybe Bytte needs to just have a Separate playlist for how her approach to and relationship w her sexuality evolves between#how she is as a human and. warlord. and then ig after she is w headloose which#is after she decides to become a demon but before shes fully transformed cos shes not dead yet so the evolution there is still#more subtle until she turns fully. and headloose gets 1) better at controlling the shapeshifting and healing factors and#2) Headloose getting more fucked up kinks. i guess. or learning more of his own fucked up kinks. or whatever#and the influence that has on her as well AND ALSO her like. lowkey toxicity in any attempts at long term rships#due to being a woman in a weird position in a point in history where we probably didnt have a word for aromanticism#...im out of tags. how does this happen everytime
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So I was googling old tv shows I used to watch, procrastinating on my homework, and guess what show popped into my head, after not seeing it for a very, very, very long time?
The haunting hour.
I only remember that show because it used to be on YTV, at like, 10-11 o'clock at night, and I would watch it. I was really obsessed with the show, even though I barely understood what was going on.
And the nightmares. I used to get really, really bad nightmares after I watched the show, and after like 3 months of me watching it, and getting nightmares of it, my mom enforced a screen-time limit, mainly for shows after 9:00.
And I remember that show so damn much, mainly because of the body horror stuff, and how freaked out I was over it.
Anyways, one of my most vivid memories of the show was this one about this kid who was obsessed with ancient egypt stuff gets frickin. sucked back into time to be essentially another person's body or something??
And I googled it I googled rl stine show ancient egypt and I finally found the name of it. I'm gonna watch that episode, and get me a bit of nostogia
#exisnt's rambles#also something funny imo is that out of curiosity I googled where tfp was being streamed because my thought-pipeline went from:#scary show that I didn't understand -> shows i didn't really understand -> shows I definietly did not remember or understand properly as a-#-kid -> hey look when the haunting hour was made that roughly around the time when tfp was made -> ytv took american shows and showed them-#-to canadian audiences -> hey WHAT THE HAUNTING HOUR USED TO BE ON THE HUB (where tfp used to be released)-#-hmmm i wonder if they ripped shows from the hub to show on ytv -> googles where was tfp streamed -> results include ytv.#Conclusion? I might have been the target demographic for tfp when it first aired (although a little too young - animated would fit better)#but i probably changed the channel because I wasn't interested in the show#just a nagging feeling but i bet they probably showed it after tmnt and spongebob when everything looks boring and then boom. tfp.#there is the possiblitity they might have not shown it during its original runtime at all ofc and we didn't have cable after 2014-2015 ish#i think it probably streamed when we got rid of cable and such and probably at like. 1 am or some other ungodly hour#this is very interesting to me and i cannot explain why.#also yeah now i just want to watch the show and compare some old memories of episodes to how they actually went bc i know i did not-#-remember things properly.#not gonna tag this as the haunting hour yet cause i haven't watched the show yet lol#too bad i can't find really old tumblr post on this idk but i feel like this show would have been milked for all its worth on tumblr#and aggressively hated for all its worth as well.
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