#its fitting but also not idk how to explain it
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Some faithful x albus post
Tbh I was supposed to do this yesterday but I was celebrating eid and was too tired to draw💀💀
Inspired by:
Ramble: I was actually planning to do this with makkaro and his darling but the way the og art perceives it seems more like pining lovers ykyk?? So I thought albus and faithful would've fit 🤷♀️🤷♀️ I couldn't get enough of them istg. I do planning to do a makkaro and darling next but it's more of a comic so it'll take some time for me to finish it so I'll have to post some other fanarts while finishing it up
#goodboyaudios#good boy audios#gba albus#gba faithful#gba faith#gba bastard warrior#bastard warrior series#bastard warrior#rp asmr#rp boyfriend#x listener#gba albus york#digital art#also i regretted that i made albus looked like he lost his sanity in the last fanart 💀💀#its fitting but also not idk how to explain it#but still loved how i did w the blood 🔥🔥#albus york
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Baizhu design :V ? For funsies totally not going to draw him or anything
had way too much fun with this one hahah
#listen i know that baizhu's eyes should be red in theory here but like#im too used to my golden eyed princess to change that#plus its funnier what with the whole childe crush list#also im sorry but i can't think how to explain it away rn#baizhu's not even a relevant character so it doesn't even matter but still#we'll just roll w it#anyway#we can name baizhu's snake smth else too#idk what#just in case anyone here doesn't realize gui is herbalist gui#hilariously enough gui also fits like. a good chunk of childe's crush list#like he's only missing the 'being able to beat his ass' and the 'deep voice'#the rest of it checks out iirc#childe; still a bit in shock at the revelation: huh- the husband is literally just some guy#gui; very friendly and polite and sweet invites ajax into the convo and never sidelines him and is always happy to meet new people:#childe; touched and charmed: yeah ok this makes sense actually. i get it#guizhong and ping yan only found out about the short crush like. months after LMAO#changsheng and gui are cannonically gossip buddies so i think the dynamic would be hilarious whenever baizhu goes to the clan#changsheng dumps a bunch of homework/tests on him to run and then goes sit w gui to the side to gossip for the rest of the day#she approved the husband from day1
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DTIYS results!!!
for #senseless400dtiys
3rd place!
@peach-flavored-cyanide i really like this one, it's simple yet not overly neat, the texture is vry nice and its not too overwhelming despite it (also N's eye is so freaky so cool)
2nd place!!
@azirakor i really like how the focus is on nightmare for this one, killer's pretty much just an object you can see tentacles going through his eyes and the way nightmare looks at him fdrnskjglhfruifojsd very nice
1st place!!! 🎉🎉🎉
@somehhuuuhh your stuff is amazing!!!! again i really love the colors you used here they're so bright and vibrant, it makes nightmare look so shiny, and nightmare's expression is just so delightful like he's so happy with himself i really love it!!!
honorable mentions!
@error7227 & @gatorshighfive
thank you so much to everyone who participated!! (my first dtiys wowie so many ppl)
i'll send everyone a message for the prizes. if you dont get a message/if i don't reply to you for a while feel free to ask me again! sometimes i just forgor
#senseless400dtiys#dtiys#dtiys results#again thank you to everyone who participated!!!#i tried to add comments for each of them#do people do this? idk#mostly the same i said when i reblogged you so idk if its too repetitive#i just like over-explaining my train of thought when it comes to stuff i like#also its funny how ppl changed the lyrics#like i wouldn't have bothered with writing it again i would've just ctrl c ctrl v that shit#also funny thing you dont actually notice it until you look closer cuz its just a wall of text which i really like#i feel it fits the vibe i was going for with the og drawing
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im a he in the same way an animal who u do not know the gender of is a he i think
#brotherrr gender in confusing#some1 made me discuss my gender and maaan i really do not care i think#i use labels like agender and transmasc mostly to explain sorta in an easy way how my gender works bu i actually do not know or care that#much man like i do feel dysphoria yeah and would like my body 2 be more "masculine'#but i dont think i would call myself a man and woman is also not smth i would use for myself#neither nb but like i dont care what pronouns people use for me specially irl like yeah i would prefer he but honestly who care#i know the perception a stranger has of me doesnt really mater 2 me and in my family i know#boy or girl doesnt really hold that much weight like they just use she 4 me bc its what they have used 4 me since forever#and its not smth that really matters that much 2 them so i dont care much#so ig i would fit more with the agender label but idk i dont really care i think#oughhhh my head hurts if i start thinking abt my gender too hard wayy too complicated#aaaa#anyways rambles rambles#gh0ost txt
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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you make really good points, I think I used the term karmic wrong sorry. I think of it more as not how I personally think he deserved all that happened to him (which thinking back os exactly what karma means, I messed up sorry), but as his fate being directly tied/parallel to anyas. I handnt noticed the toxicity of jimmy and curlys relationship, from the first playthrough I watched and the first interactions I had w fandom I saw so many ppl just. dismiss the terror Anya went through and focus too much on him as the "ultimate victim" and that just didn't sit well w me. I really dislike seeing ppl go "oh well nothing could've been done" I think it's much more complex than that. also I forgot to mention in the last ask that I really appreciate you bringing the point that this game isn't just about the harm of patriarchy but also very very critical to capitalism, I haven't seen too many ppl touch on this. I hadn't thought too deeply about how it makes "he deserved to become disabled as punishment" come up and I agree that's really messed up. I'll try watching a playthrough again with all of this in mind. but either way thanks! I really appreciate your answer 🫶🏼
I guess this is just part of being in a fandom like this. I've noticed a lot of people don't actually see posts outside of their curated view. So some people only get like anya posting or jimmy or curly and it can make it seem like that is what is saturating the conversation.
I mainly just follow the general tags and look for anything new because I'm like obsessed but I know some are only looking for what they want or believe to be the case and can get weird about other ideas.
Sorry if I came off mean its just a last few of the asks have been like circular conversations like this and its not draining per say but seeing all the nuance and details get overlooked to fit a straightforward and basic narrative really sucks cause there's a lot to explore character and theme wise.
#its like idk i feel like im yapping about the same stuff over and over and over again cause people confuse simple on paper with simple in#execution or like without the human factor like idk sometimes to humanzie Anya people dehumanize the other characters to an extent#which is also part of the systemic problem because by dehumanizing people you take away from the awareness like idk the statements#that curly was the captain and just a guy like have to exist together hes like an okay find decent even good captain just not great#hes not exceptional and i think a lot of people are acting like the game said he is when thats just jimmy like Swansea and Anya see that he#just a guy under everything else hence why they dont feed into the vitriol jimmy tries to serve about him crashing the ship and how they#talk to him pre crash even with anya i feel like people are so focused on trying to see what jimmy doesnt that they are adding intention w#where there isnt not even on like she cant be this scale more so you are treating this like everyone in this game is doing some secret gran#gambit when they are just trying to surviv in really back circumstances like having anya respond to jimmys behaviro through the#fawn effect isnt making her a weak depiction its a real response that can coexist with purposeful action because she is clearly scared of#Jimmy even if she hates and thinks he's incompentent like shes not gonna roll over for him but shes gonna be docile in his presence so he#doesnt create a reason in his head to lash out at her like people simply cannot combine concepts to create the complex responses we see in#the game and idkn why its so hard because not every statement contridicts like Jimmy is a monsterous asshole can exist with how#systematic oppression and social enabling create/allow people like him to do their worse cause at the end of the day he chose to do#everything he did despite other options vs the others trying to figure out the best option for all whether that was the best or not like#he dug his own grave vs the others sorta being lined up in front of theirs and shot like this is more interesting to me than him just being#like idk cartoonishly evil and gross and why cant concepts stakes like fitting aspects together is fun its like the worlds shitties puzzle#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anon#ask#ur fine anon im just insane and get frustrated easily when i think im explaining something bad
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Honestly, having good days like this is good for me mentally. Because not only does it put my usual struggles into perspective, forcing me to accept that I have a tendency to severely downplay just how much they impede me... but it also gives me perspective about my self perceived laziness.
Like, the fact that I become almost abnormally productive and energetic compared even to abled people the very instant that my pain and all of the other issues are all gone? I'm not lazy! And I know logically that teachers telling me that over and over growing up was wrong, but it still shocks me in new ways to this day just how deeply ingrained this perception of myself is.
Like, is it laziness? Or am I just averse to doing things that will physically punish me? Today reminded me that it's very much the latter.
#and its not even an overcompensation thing#i am genuinely ambitious and energetic by nature! in fact i think thats part of why i still manage to do some things#im also optimistic at heart because im always excited to try new things and dont really fear failure or being bad at it#i guess persistent is another fitting word#ALL THAT TO SAY today is most likely what i would be like all the time if i wasnt ill!#and so i once more ask myself: in what world could 'lazy' ever be remotely true#its strange how vindicated i feel rn but its so like#idk ive been so down this whole year but recently theres been a major turnaround mentally#i cant explain it but i feel like theres a new level of self acceptance after today#that its not all in my head and that im not making a bigger deal out of my issues than is valid#because if i were anywhere near healthy i would live like today EVERY day without even thinking about it#silvi talks
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i would LOVE to hear about more of your headcanons if youre willing to share….
I have so many and I love to share them :))) holiday flavored because that's what's on my mind
Chara is a big Christmas fan, not of the watches hallmark movies, and goes rabid over it, but they do really, really like it. It's their favorite holiday, and they dislike the whole capitalism angle, but they really like the other parts of the holiday. It probably goes against canon with gyftmas and all but I like the idea that their presence in the underground popularized it. Monsters were aware of Christmas through newspapers and the influx of decorations that would show up in the dump after said holiday but chara being so wistful about missing it is what inspired asgore to do the whole Santa thing. Mainly I just think the idea of naughty or nice vibes well with charas whole consequences thing and I want more noelle parallels with them <- that one comic hellspawnmotel did with them and noelle is another reason... it vibes so well with how I think chara behaves. Chara trying desperately to convince asriel Santa is real..(he has no idea who that is but is nodding along to the ridiculous things chara is trying to convince him of. )
Kris on the other hand is a total Halloween nerd. Being someone else? Being a MONSTER? yeah that's them. If kris and chara ever were to interact I think the only movie the two would agree on is Nightmare before Christmas before they immediately return to trying to kill each other. I think kris would lean more towards actual dislike of Christmas compared to chara. I also don't think either had good experiences with the holidays prior to being adopted by the dreemurrs, so for chara living with the dreemurrs is like a do-over where they get to experience it how they wanted to. But for kris it's just reliving uncomfortable memories- after the divorce and asriel moving away and dess dissapering- there's just too many things tied up in the holiday that upsets them. They might have started to like it after being adopted but it evolved into an actual distaste for it after everything else.
Flowey also likes Christmas he's really good at giving gifts (the save scummer probably went out of his way to memorize everyone's favorite things and while he claims to hate the holiday he gets secretly really proud when people like the gifts- but alas since he can't be seen being nice he didn't even include a 'from' sticker- except for the gifts he gave papyrus and frisk those ones Said "from: your best friend") issue is after the first two or three years post pacifist he starts running out of gift ideas since people regrettably change and most people don't like getting duplicates so he has to actually talk to the people he wants to give gifts too instead of just relying on his memories- good thing he can still just stalk them and eavesdrop!(the Ole reliable method) He's secretly and weirdly pleased nobody knows what to gift him in return- it makes him feel cool and mysterious. He does get annoyed after the third new pot and the second bag of fertilizer so he starts just heavily and blatantly hinting at what he wants- the second someone asks him directly though he acts like their stupid and will go on and on about how he doesn't need it or how impractical it would be. <- not a tsundere just stupid cringe kid who can't fathom the idea of people knowing he likes things, terrible!
Frisk approaches every holiday (including the small vague ones) with the exact same amount of energy- 100%. They are maximizing their holiday output- they want to celebrate everything! They do like some more than others mainly ones that deal with food like Thanksgiving or fun ones like April fools but they put alot of dedication into all of them. Valentines is their chance to practice terrible pick up lines and eat an unhealthy amount of candy (surprise surprise being the savior of monster kind gets a kid alot of Valentines gifts, and birthday gifts, and Christmas gifts, and new years gifts, and just because gifts- basically monsters love them and for the first couple years above ground monsters like just giving them things to show their appreciation- alphys has to keep updating their phone inventory) i like the idea undertale takes place during fall/ late winter and the phone calls take place almost a year after- so for frisk in any non pacifist timeline they are spending the holidays alone :( sad! Anyways- I also don't think frisk had a good time during the holidays either before falling underground so they like getting to experience them to the fullest and with as many people as possible...
#ourgh these r so disorganized heres some thoughts i couldnt fit in:#age wise i think chara is the youngest maybe a few months to a year younger than asriel but the dreemurrs dont know how old they are.#i also think kris and chara were adopted at different ages which also informs their world view. kris probably around 5 at the most maybe 6#young enough to not know the difference between monsters and humans but old enough to know their previous situation was bad mainly they#lived with the dreemurrs for longer than chara ever did so chara never gets that broken pedestal moment until AFTER they come back#chara was probably adopted between 8-11 age wise and i dont think they had the ability to reset while they were alive but thats for another#post. frisk i prefer being a year older than chara but maturity wise they balance each other out <- idk how to explain it#okay real tag time:#utdr#headcanons#chara dreemurr#chara#asriel dreemurr#flowey#flowey undertale#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#frisk undertale#frisk the human#undertale headcanons#Christmas mention#? pls tell me if their are other things i need to tag this 4 filtering purposes 😅#i will answer the backstory ask! but i need my computer for that one since its alot and goes into my hcs for gaster to explain <3#oh right:#KFC#what the name for all of them...#FACK#??????#KFFC#????
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my bachelors of linguistics speaking to me like jim carreys 1994 the mask whenever people around me start making wildly incorrect statements about language
#m#‘why is the auslan sign for ‘x’ that it doesn’t look like the word at all’#idk how to explain to you that auslan is not signed english#‘english is the hardest language to learn because of all the irregularities’#all languages are complex and irregular that’s just what happens when you try to fit the infinity of the universe into a finite system#also language acquisition difficulty really depends on its relation to your native language#i hate to be like the 🤓☝️ erm actually guy
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tonight's little doodles
#doodle#lcb#meursault lcb#meurgreg#im trying to be less self conscious about making meurgreg or any ship art really#twt has exposed me to everyone having an opinion on every ship ever#which has made me back away from making too much art of any one ship#i know meurgreg is one of the most popular ships but because of that i also feel an odd sense of guilt#i cant explain it like i should use my art to contribute to a rare pair or smth idk#its all a bit weird and irrational#but ive realized i have not been able to make art for myself for months#every idea i have and everything i go forward to draw im always thinking about how others will feel about it#and how i can make it better fit or adequate for an audience so i dont let them down or bore them#and that mindset has made art so much of a chore that ive significantly slowed down so much on art at all#so idk#trying to stop overthinking and just draw what i feel to the extent that i feel#escape the perfectionism and wanting to please everyone as much as possible#to elaborate on the weird meurgreg feeling i guess its like#i feel guilty for filling tags even more with an already popular ship & making mutuals who dont like meurgreg see it more#but its just not that deep#people can mute meurgreg and thats just not my problem anyway#sry ab these tags!
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What's with all the "Them and Us" stuff I mean. I thought the whole point of this acceptance stuff is realising that despite all the little differences everyone is still kind of similar in the way that they should be granted at least the basic but of respect everyone deserves? Call me naïve and childish but isn't the point of all this to Not have the clear distinction between people who are slightly different? Isn't the whole point to Not have a "Them" and an "Us"?
#been doing a lot of national socialism in history again and idk#something about the goebbels speeches man#i know i know insane comparison but there everything also started with establishing a ''Them'' against a ''We''#that was like half of the ideology you know?#and I don't like seeing stuff like that these days because it's so stupid and actually seems more harmful in the long run#if thid makes sense#now you feel good because you have your bubble of other...idk. socially acceptable level of mentally ill people for example#and you're in this community with people who understand you so obviously you don't want to leave#and thats fine#i just always think it's a bit stranhe when it starts sounding like... you know#there's a lot of memes juxtaposing a very specific symptom of a disorder or something with just ''non mentally ill people'' for example#and I get it its a silly little joke#but words do something and if it's this ''oh they'll never understand they're just not X enough'' it just#i really really can't explain it well but it just rubs me the wrong way#is this silly?#it feels a little silly#maybe I just have too much Nazi ideology in my head but it's this pattern of infighting and the growing comfort with being rude or outright#mean online and the splintering in more and more groups with little sub groups and nobody actually seems to take a step back and look at the#larger picture#because they're all content in their little groups of people who are exactly like them#I'm not even saying I'm exempt from this who knows maybe I am also like that#but I don't really like half the people i see every day and I always feel a little like i don't fit in because with most of them I don't#but I don't really think thats a bad thing because how boring would it be to be surrounded by people who think just like i do#nothing new can come of that after a while no?#I'm sleepy i don't know if I make any sense but I've just been marinating on it a tad...
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I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop
#this one is straight so there's no room for delusion which is good#but my burning need to be her most favorite is eating me from the inside#it IS making me better at my job though#.......i mean i think so but what the fuck do i know#on friday night amongst the grueling psychosexual chaos that ensued a very smart guy that I LOVE said to me#i have no doubts you're gonna be a great psychiatrist actually#i traded a month with him to have another month with her#he's a phenomenologist she's a psychodynamic....ist? rival theories#I don't like most of psychodynamic theory.......so far#but i love the way she works and i can see how well it fits with her manymanyMANY patients and goddamnit i love personality dosorders#so i made the choice to go with her yes and im very torn casue i LOVE that guy and i wish i could become his friend like my bff from my year#also.......kind of dumb of me since I'd only soend two days a week woth her and the other three with very scary ladies#but I've been in scarier situation i can manage#and god when she praises me (silently obv she's only been forward about my merit ONCE and i almost pissed myself like an overexcited dog)#the endorphin rush is........man#but yes i need to work on this.......idk how to define it. closest i can get to explaining it is professional sub space#with strong aspects of praise kink#pathetic is what it is really#but hey if it makes me study harder who fucking cares right#I'm gonna be the smartest most intuitive fucking bitch amongst my peers so if I can't have her (them) carnally then goddamnit#I'LL HAVE THEIR PRAISE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRATION AT LEAST#........I'll be normal again in a week or two i just need to get over these next couple of days of....idk. inflammation i guess#yeah it's just like an infected wound right now#angry red throbbing hot pain#i know the drill it'll be better in a couple of days you just need to not freak out and let it do its thing#it's nice to be mature-r about emotional impulsivity and the shame that comes after an episode of deregulation#it really doesn't have to be a big deal even while it still feels like it#it still hurts but it's like......hour three of a tattoo. it's a bitch but you know it's gonna be over eventually and wriggling won't work#the only thing left to do is enjoying it all while it's happening or trying to#I don't think I'm doing a great job but what're you gonna do right
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One of the things that got said yesterday about the Veilguard character creator is SOME factions give you the option to further customise your background
e.g. specifically choose to be a Dalish elf rather than a City elf
but not which factions have what options?
And since i'm trying to avoid a looot of the more spoilery stuff being revealed, I was wondering if anyones actually managed to collate what options have been mentioned as available for each faction?
(At the very least, I'd specifically like to know if theres a bit more customisation possible with the Shadow Dragons? Namely, being able to choose which social class your Rook comes from)
#dragon age#i kinda dont want to try and skim a billion write ups to see if someones gone into more depth about this?#it was just a passing comment in the one video i did listen to just to find out what the backgrounds were#then the rest of the video was the video creator explaining what kinds of characters they think would best fit each class....#i want to know how deep the actual in game options ARE#i have no problems making my own fun with my backstory in my head but also... if it can be reflected in game?? 👀👀#idk man i just feel like shadow dragons is such a GOOD background for someone in the Liberati class#and if its actually reflected in in-game dialogue that would be interesting
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cried at work today! i’m now 3/3 for crying at jobs :)
#i just dont fit in#and one guy in particular makes a real effort to exclude me#like straight up ignoring me#if he has a question about what im doing he asks somebody near me what im doing#instead of me#if i greet him he doesnt respond#but he’ll greet someone i’m standing next to#and others are politer but i can still tell they dont like me#i dont get the humour. i cant fit innnnn#im trying to be nice and work hard but i feel like such a burden and an outsider#also one is so touchy with me and kinda flirty and it makes me uncomfortable lol#so uhmm i just feel like everyone is talking about me behind my back and im the biggest fucking joke#and im probably right lol#ALSO excuse me if this is terminally online coded#but it makes me wonder if im autistic. bc i had the same problem at my last job#where i felt like i was being excluded and wondered if it was bc i wasnt picking up on social cues?#like i want people to just tell me to my face whats up#and i need things explained to me plainly#but idk i might also be like self absorbed and stupid. its very possible#sometimes ur just an idiot who didnt socialise enough as a child and now doesnt know how to be normal
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i do think that the fact that rouxls puts on a faux shakespearean accent while being such a theatrical/performative character is very fun to me... like obviously its all joke shit and im probably thinking too hard about it sfdjkn but it is fun to me
#when i call him dramatic i dont just mean in the sense of his exaggeration of everything (though that fits as well)#but like. in literally like. vague hand motions idk how to explain it but yknow??#its just fun like he sucks at the performance he tries to keep up like he sucks at everything else but yeah#(thats also why i made my human au him a failed actor but thats kinda unrelated and also no one gaf fadjkl)#txt
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nawt the first aid uni classes payin off.
#have a looootta dressin/bandages left over. like. lots#jus replaced the old one for the night#sigh#i feel really. yeah yeha idk how 2 explain but expect a vent#vent#ahead!!#idk i have such a strange relationship with sеlfhаrm cause it is wat it is but i m also unironically attracted 2 pain in blood in a way dat#makes it exhilaratin when i start doin it. so i cant stop. so i needs someone 2 keep me compny 2 ;b able 2 stop. which is a whole new layer#of disgustin n lowly i think. likr why am i drawn to things dat destroy me. he was right.#like im nawt tryin 2 any kind of -ise jt romanictise normalise etc but its suxh. a Thing 2 me. i do it ina fit of rage or hate n end up#directin it into. a weird sense of pleasure. why.#obviously it hurts as a bitch once im outta it but. okay....#i think due 2 dat feelin is exacly why im leanin into it so heavily like#yea ppl use it as a way 2 translate their emotional pain into physical but 4 me its litwrally like#oh X happened. lemme do Y 2 myself 2 give me a rush#it doesn rly mattwr tho. naw matter da reaosn its still da same thing w the samw outcome#ill stop..one day
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