#its fine if you dont like it but i really dont care that much
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FINE ill review it DAMN
Review of hellraiser heartbreaker
Playlist:
Murder on the Dancefloor - Sophie Ellis Bextor
Tommy Gun - Royal Republic
Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys
Tell Me The Truth - Two Feet
Undisclosed Desires - Muse
Jolene - Beyonce
I Wanna Be Yours - Foxy Shazam
Chapter 1.
Yoo lmao young wolvie is like "whats wrong with this guy?" And wades SOOO excited to be beat the shit out of.
"Let my babt boy go >:( you big meanies" ahh wade you silly thing.
Sokay baby boy dawww
Flirty kitty it is
Remeber kiddos introducing two wolverines in a very small area is NOT advised. Young wolvie is like a kitten, his hair going up and growling because hes scared and Logan growling to admit dominance and maturity over him. Jeez lousie.
"Ahahah behave" wade honey I bet logan loves when you defend his place in your life.
Chapter 2.
Oooh what a good start I love how hes sitting here staring at wade because he knows him and logan is NOT having it. He knows what young pups try to do, they try to steal your mate and hes not about to let that happen.
Pfft logan really said "ah hell nah id fuck anything back then im coming too"
THEY FUCKING VAN GOUGHED ME HAS TO BE ONE OF THE BEST LINES EVER
“This is why you’re my favorite.”
Logan tried hard not to smirk at that. He failed.
That right there confirms that wade KNOWS logan is jealous already and is lowkey trying hard not to entice younger wolverine too much because he knows he's gonna kill him.
I should thank Wade then. I should thank him very thoroughly .”
Oh so youve chosen death little one?
"Gotcha you pointy little bitch!" Me at my splinters.
Aww man wade is being so careful with both of them, hes just less careful with you logan cause your younger has a collar on right now thats all.
Did you forget your wade is one of the top mercs there is? He never has NOT gotten a job done, which means handling wolvie with care you stupid old man.
Chapter 3.
Yo he already said no once. Leave it.
He finna kill you, you better start acting right.
“I said no.” There was no hint of playfulness or friendliness there. Just finality. It was enough to make Wolverine back down.
See? I told you. God you little degenerate. You need trained that no means no sheesh.
Yeah those hips are quick but they aint for you
Awwww logan got him rabbits like a good hound dog. Bro really said "man I need to impress my mate lemme go kill some innocent rabbits to eat"
Finding food and showing how reliable he could be to Wade.
“Oh Logan,” that was a new tone from Wade. Affectionate. Directed at Logan. Not at him.
Yes exactly.
Wade brought me home
He sure as fuck did. He might as well collar you with his name on it too. Big strong boy. All jealous of a little inexperienced wolvie. Psshh lets be so for real.
“I don't see a ring, asshole.”
“Don't. Fucking. Touch. Him.”
ALEXA!! PLAY SINGLE LADIES FOR THE EPIC FIGHT THATS ABOUTA HAPPENA
Suddenly, the tip of a katana pushed against Logan’s cheek.
“What did I say about fighting?” Wade panted, his white eyes glaring. There was that seriousness in his voice again. Logan rolled his eyes at him. The katana pushed into Logan’s cheek until a trail of blood came out.
tHIS IS WHAT I KEEP SAYING!! wade does NOT fuck around when it comes to jobs! He was taught and trained to ALWAYS finish the job. Hes terrifying bro I would literally kill myself if I knew this man was after me because id be afraid hed play with me and not kill me fast enough.
Both of you need to settle your shit. I can’t have you guys fucking my mission up
Exhibit B. Do NOT come between an adhd man and his dopamine and his dopamine is finishing missions and getting cash.
Ooh my poor baby though. Like seriously you need a shock collar and maybe neutered bc holy hell no is non existent to you but you just miss your own. Its a shame yours always dies. Its really not fair. But you cant just go stealing other peoples wades either. Hes limited edition baby. If him and his poolcule dont invite you you cant touchy.
Got inspired by PrettyPonyRideToHell’s fic Hellraiser, Heartbreaker
Never knew I needed Worst Wolvie having to deal with his little shit, younger self and with Wade ofc caught in the middle 😌✨
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool#deadpool 3#wolverine#deadclaws#fic review
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friends to himym to new girl are like. shows for each decade from the 90s to the 2010s that are literally just about people who are friends living life together. obviously himym has the "dad telling his kids the story of his life" but its really mostly just about the characters living life without a super big hook like scrubs, community, the office, or the good place
also super interesting to me that they really all ran for about a decade like friends was 1994-2004, himym picks up immediately after with 2005-2014 and new girl is 2011-2018. friends is pretty 90s most of the time, himym's in the middle but was mostly a 2000s show, and new girl is firmly a 2010s show
SOMETHING ELSE I REALIZED while writing this post was that they kind of show the shift between sitcoms with laugh tracks and sitcoms without ones. friends is pretty clowned on now for the laugh track but at least it's an actual live audience unlike the nickelodeon/ disney ones, himym was edited first and then shown to a studio audience but the laugh track is noticeably quieter than friends's track, and new girl is a single cam like most sitcoms now are
does seinfeld count as a show that's really just about people living their lives???? i haven't seen all of it but from the like 1.5 seasons ive seen i think it does???? and it started in 1989 up to like 1998 but that feels like a 90s thing to me
sorry for how long this is i was having Thoughts
#crunchyposts#sitcoms#im rambling i love sitcoms sorry i noticed this it was super interesting to me#wild how ive seen all of the examples i mentioned like they all ran for a While and i've seen a bunch not mentioned here#.....im gonna admit this now i've seen literally all of the big bang theory#i dont know why. i just watched all 12 seasons. and the first 2 of young sheldon. i just needed to finish it ig#also hot take the laugh tracks in friends and himym dont bother me#its fine if you dont like it but i really dont care that much#i do think the pacing of jokes is generally better without a laugh track though like abbott elementary's pace is so good#actually what sitcoms /have/ i seen. like in full#full house and b99 and superstore are a couple that come to mind#i guess also modern family and parks and rec#....... how many /shows/ have i seen
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carefully attempted to draw (still sick); wanted to give Shargon another redesign, this is an older version of him but the basics should also go for his younger self (idk yet about his lung replacement design; arms are posed weird to make anatomy clearer)
(wip, oc art, Shargon, he/they)
#ganondoodles#art#oc#oc art#wip#character design#im really liking this one ngl#posted this on twitter but didnt here bc its just a wip but .. idk how far i will get with this lol#i know barely anyone is interested in oc art#especially when its not my usual big buff type i love so much#everything needs a lil variety tho!#and this build just fits shargon more than the typical#if anyone can make sense of it-#the extra arms he gets (red ones) are bc he gains another heart from Eadrya so he has two hearts and two elements now thus changed#(dw Eadrya is fine .... it makes sense in lore but its alot to explain and i dont think anyone would care anyway)#not trying to be dismissive- just realistic to save myself the time writing it and disappointment when no one reads it :U#i need to put more effort into oc art if i want anyone to care#at least i know Eadrya has always at least one fan (thank you calamity <3)
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this may be a hot take, but im enjoying pvp civilization more than parkour civilization. SPOILERS INCOMING
my favorite moments/things:
the "magic system" is top tier. you can give away a significant chunk of your lifespan in order to gain xyz thing. this is the only way to get food. killing others extends your lifespan. like holy moly what the heck
evbo coming back after death interacts with the above in an obvious but dark way. yeah, hes going to be farmed for kills by literally everyone, they can feed off of his immortality and extend their lifespans
the way his one sided romantic interest in tabi is immediately and clearly dunked on by literally everyone, including tabi is soooo funny. i think she currently sees him as, at best, a tool. which is in line for everyone else in the series. she could become main villain.
he actually grows as a person in regards to the above.
the fact that other people interact with his monologues, and the fact theres an in universe camera hes monologuing too makes the constant speaking so much less annoying. i also think the wider cast of characters also helps with that, so its not him narrating 24/7
the moment he bribes a guard like a bazillion swings to go up to the 1v1 arena and then he and tabi realizes that only 1 person can leave after they team up against the chestplate player is an insane moment. like 1) the rules of the arena are absolute 2) that guard was trying to get as many swings as possible and expected him to die 3) at this point his respawnability was uncertain, so there was still some stakes with his death and 4) tabi gets some very solid characterization here
evbo's character ambushes and kills random people in the market.
#anyways i like it#probably more than parkour civ#but i dont think id like it as much if i didnt watch parkour civ first you know?#like its twist on the format has an interesting effect on the the world and characters#i know people didnt like the romance bit#but i thought it was funny how directly and clearly every character was like “you are stupid and dumb” in response#also tabi is a great character. i love how she does not care about evbo or his feelings and only sees him as a tool#really good contrast between her and the much more emotion driven evbo who records himself talking about his feelings every day#the constant 4th wall breaks can be a little funky but i think its fine
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answering these to introduce myself in this blog!
1. how did you first find out about agere in general?
I've known of the community for about... two years? I dont remember exactly how I found it, but probably someone mentioned it to me on discord.
2. how did u first find out that you were a regressor?
less than a year ago now! I started out as an age dreamer but started experiencing involuntary regressions.
3. what nicknames or pet names do you like to be called when you’re little?
anything related to space or stars! also stuff like Bubba, Little one, Baby, Tiny, Kiddo are good too. I also like nonhuman pet names like Kit, Cub or Chick.
4. does your music taste change when you’re regressed? if so, how?
I tend to prefer instrumental music when I'm little. I don't like to heard the lyrics like when I'm big, so I just have a playlist with the instrumental versions of the music I like.
6. do you usually regress voluntarily or involuntarily (or a mix of both)?
a mix of both, but its still more voluntary than anything.
7. what most often makes you regress?
being tired or sleepy, being cozy in bed with a warm drink or watching my favourite movies. feeling safe in general, I can't regress if I feel exposed or unsafe.
8. if you don’t have a cg, would you want one? if you do have a cg, how’d you meet them?
don't want caregivers, I'm a big kid! I can take care of myself just fine (I have fictional caregivers tho! they rotate depending on my current interests, now it's mainly The Doctor from Doctor Who but there are others)
9. if you have other marginalised identities (lgbtq+, neurodivergent, poc, etc), how do they figure into your regression? (intersectionality is so cool)
I'm aroace and autistic (probably)! being autistic is a HUGE part of my regression, as I let myself unmask when I'm little and I let out my emotions more than I usually do. I'm also nonhuman, and that impacts my regression too.
10. are you open about your age regression irl? how about online outside of tumblr?
nooo. too scary.
11. what physical places do you associate with your regression? (school, parks, shops, people’s houses, etc)
my room only. I don't feel safe anywhere else.
12. what’s something typically associated with agere (pacis, babbling, bluey, etc) that you don’t do?
I don't like pacis, and I don't do the baby talk that other regressors seem to like (it's too difficult to read for me). also, I don't like the kidcore aesthetic.
13. how does your current regressed personality differ from your personality when you were physically that age?
not much to be honest. I'm more low-energy and much more quiet than when I was a kid, but that's because I'm an adult now and my personality has changed a lot. but otherwise, I act a lot like how I did back then.
14. do you use different pronouns or preferred names when you’re regressed? if so, what are they?
yes yes! I looove space-themed names, they're so fun! my favourite is Starlight, but I have A LOT of them. my pronouns are the same tho.
15. what platforms do you usually go to for agere content? (tumblr, pinterest, instagram, etc)
tumblr! I don't have any other social media.
16. what’s a niche or unpopular interest you associate with your regression?
SPACE. I think that's obvious :D even tho its not really niche. ummm... I like bugs!
17. what’s ur favorite color + something you love that’s that color?
blue! my favourite blanket (a very soft cloak thingy that I wear around the house) is blue. I also like purple! and yellow!
18. which (if any) fictional characters do you think would be littles?
Spiderman has Big Little Energy!! all of the turtles from ROTTMNT too (specially Raph and Donnie). oh and Jonathan Sims from TMA. and Crowley from Good Omens! they are silly little guys.
19. which (if any) fictional characters do you think would be caregivers?
The Doctor from Doctor Who! (hes my cg :D) also Batman. and some Pokémon (not all of them tho). and Aziraphale from GO. and Steve and Alex from Minecraft :D
20. what’s something you wish you knew about agere when you first found out about it?
that its not as dramatic as some stories paint it to be. it can be intense sometimes, sure, but you can just. do little activities while not regressed. its allowed. you can do whatever you want forever!!
hi friends !! i finally finished making this :D i tried to come up with inclusive agere questions that rly make u think and aren’t specific to any brands, countries, media, etc. hopefully i did a good job at that ^^
feel free to use or repost this image as long as the credit stays in tact !!
. :+* made with a free canva template by So Swell Edu
. :+* plain text version under the cut !!
20 AGERE QUESTIONS
1. how did you first find out about agere in general?
2. how did u first find out that you were a regressor?
3. what nicknames or pet names do you like to be called when you’re little?
4. does your music taste change when you’re regressed? if so, how?
5. which fictional characters do you most relate to (or kin) when you’re little? do you still relate to them when you’re not regressed?
6. do you usually regress voluntarily or involuntarily (or a mix of both)?
7. what most often makes you regress?
8. if you don’t have a cg, would you want one? if you do have a cg, how’d you meet them?
9. if you have other marginalised identities (lgbtq+, neurodivergent, poc, etc), how do they figure into your regression? (intersectionality is so cool)
10. are you open about your age regression irl? how about online outside of tumblr?
11. what physical places do you associate with your regression? (school, parks, shops, people’s houses, etc)
12. what’s something typically associated with agere (pacis, babbling, bluey, etc) that you don’t do?
13. how does your current regressed personality differ from your personality when you were physically that age?
14. do you use different pronouns or preferred names when you’re regressed? if so, what are they?
15. what platforms do you usually go to for agere content? (tumblr, pinterest, instagram, etc)
16. what’s a niche or unpopular interest you associate with your regression?
17. what’s ur favorite color + something you love that’s that color?
18. which (if any) fictional characters do you think would be littles?
19. which (if any) fictional characters do you think would be caregivers?
20. what’s something you wish you knew about agere when you first found out about it?
by @tiny-tk on tumblr
tumblr tag: #20 agere questions
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well hold on, if we define a character flaw as any limitation a character deals with, regardless of whether it's something Morally Wrong With Them or not, then Ford's paranoia counts as a character flaw since it does in fact negatively impact him and the people around him. Let me use better wording here: I will die on the hill that Ford's paranoia is not a moral failing.
#'i'll die on this hill' one second later: un-dies on that hill on a technicality#godsrambles#one way in which i probably differ from ford is that i could not care less about winning any arguments all i care about is being accurate#people are right about a lot of fords character flaws actually. the part they are wrong about is which ones are Moral Failings#and also people misinterpret his motivations and intentions behind things. but the flaws themselves? sure yeah people can identify those#unpopular opinion but i think ego is fine on its own too depending on how you define ego. case in point: papyrus. yknow the skeleton#it only becomes a problem when you're putting other people down. which i dont think ford is guiltless of but. the others do that too#idk sometimes when other people go 'omg... ego moment :/' im like 'a chance to hype eachother up! yay' i dont assume im being looked down o#unless thats specifically demonstrated to be happening#but the thing that kills me is that stan constantly puts other people down. but since he doesnt idk have an ego or talk weird its fine??#i very much agree with dipper when he replied to mabel with 'ford doesnt make fun of me all the time like you guys do'#and like once again. to each their own#some people see that level of making fun of people/being made fun of as just friendly banter and thats fair enough#but i really appreciate that ford isn't like that
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no actually I’d like to hear your thoughts on the isat ending
Like i said it felt really tropey and by that i meant that it’s just Everything Good Happens forever and…..that’s it ? like idk we were building up to this huge catharsis sort of thing and then we got to it and it was so sudden and not a good payoff and just kind of nothingburger of an ending . the fact that everyone just forgives siffrin bothers me, or at least the fact that they don’t confront them about the shit they’ve said and done. call me a mental illness villainizer but i think if you’re a fucking asshole and doing the most insensitive things to the people you care about then hey, i think those ppl have a right to fucking tell you off for it. likeeee idk being at your lowest point …… not an excuse …. not feeling it chief ……. like sure the message is to move past your mistakes or whatever but ? that doesn’t mean just getting away with it ??? and i just really don’t understand Why everyone forgives him. honestly at the end of the day the ending is just one problem, the root of which are the characters. everyone feels like trope cardboard cutouts. oh, this is the smart one. this is the smol bean. this is the himbo. and they all care for each other btw. Did u hear that? they all care for each other. we’re not really going to explain to you why these people are so close or what they went through together but just trust me man they’re sooo found famy. like …. okay. i’ve played 30 hours of this game and not once did i buy that any of the characters really cared about each other. like??? why???? You’re telling me everyone super cares about siffrin even though they barely know them?? you’re telling me siffrin cares about everyone sooo much even though he never even bothered to find out their problems before ? Wat ? and this just breaks the ending more because literally whyyy do these people care about him so bad. and then it’s just whyyy does siffrin Have to tell them anything he doesn’t even seem to know them that well. everyone feels like colleagues and Just Friends at best. and so the ending just seems really forced. like it was written by that type of tumblr user who’s always talking about aww why does the found family have to break up after the end of the journey :( which is like fiiiiine. i guess. but u guys know that u have to build up to it right?? you can’t just tell me they’re Family Members(tm) 102829 times and that they super care about each other source: trust. you can’t just do that and then expect me to believe it ….. It feels unearned. the ending feels unearned and i don’ttttt understand what i’m supposed to take away from it . that it’s ok to fuck people up because you’re traumatized and insecure?? that you have to talk about your deepest problems with people you barely know??? i just dont know. Like i said if im being honest the problems with this game’s writing are more than just the ending, it just stands out so much because there’s a lot of build up and then just …… That
#honest to god if you want a Good Example of a story like this just look at dungeon meshi#we start the story from the end of the characters’ journey. they all don’t know each other very well and they’re just working together#hell they don’t even like each other that much. And then as the story develops and they go through their journey we get to see them bond and#get closer and fight and make up and admit they care about each other and still be mad at each other#nobody even gives a fuck about laios at the beginning of the story but by the end of it they’re all willing to die for him. THAT feels#earned. when marcille super fucks up and everyone tells her off for it but still wants to just make sure she’s ok That feels earned#like honest to god i’d take marcille’s arc any day than whatever’s siffrin going on#i just feel like this game suffers from a chronic Tell Dont Show syndrome. we get old over and over again that these characters are close#told*#and that they care about each other. And that’s just ….. not a way to write a story ………#when all the characters exist just to comfort the Whump Main it’s like how am i supposed to get invested. in any of this#u know when the dev replied to someone who was asking them how to write a story and they just said ‘glue your fav tropes together until it#becomes a story’? Well i think that is isat’s main problem. it’s not really a story. it doesn’t really have characters#it’s just a bunch of tropes in a trench coat. And let me tell u that is notttt how you make a story. at all. at all#anyways this was supposed to be about the ending but this story just has so many inherent problems i could critique it forever🤷♂️ my badddd#it’s fun as a game and it’s Fine as a story but at the end of the day it just reads like fix-it fanfiction to me#which is not Bad on its own but i wish people would at least recognize how the story is kind of built on sticks#cramswering
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okay so as a gen 5 stan who does adore the story in bw and bw2, and now that gen 5 has experienced both a vicious hatedom that wouldnt hear a single positive thing about the games, and now a super protective fandom that insists they were perfect and had zero flaws... can we admit now that the bw1 story at least was. a little mid.
#just a little. just a little.#i am saying this as someone who adores it and loves the characters a lot#...... but good god team plasma kinda sucks ass as an evil organization#bw2 is sorta better about them with the split factions but in the first game theyre so obnoxious and come across as strawmen#the game talks about how the world is nuanced and not black and white and its not good to take extreme sides#but then. it sorta does that with the protagonists? by refusing to talk about abused pokemon that werent hurt by team plasma?#obviously they are wrong. the game hammers it in with a mallet. but is it really nuanced if our stance is ''ha ha thats silly''#and yeah groups like plasma exist irl but like. as someone who cares abt animal rights and stuff a lot. i feel like they fumbled it here#the answer shouldnt have been ''well ig some pokemon get hurt. we wont talk about them though. watch the grunt kick a munna''#it shouldve been about animal welfare. like maybe instead of becoming assistant professor; bianca couldve become a nurse joy#or she couldve joined some organization that rescues and rehabilitates pokemon from abusive trainers. maybe the reformed plasma from bw2#and before someone goes ''erm its a kids game they cant do that :/ thats too complicated'' first of all- the anime showed a malnourished te#tepig#kids can handle a bit of text next to a skittish lillipup thats like ''its scared of humans'' or something and its being cared for by someo#someone''#plus the side games were tackling much heavier shit at this point#also again they were apparently fine with a grunt kicking a munna and bragging about how he loves doing that so.#like even as a kid i felt like that scene was really over the top and stupid#team plasma feels less like an attempt to do commentary on harmful animal rights ideas that lead to ecofascism and dont care abt the animal#true needs#and more like gamefreak read a lot of obnoxious critical pokemon posts like ''lmao training is like dogfighting'' and ''this promotes anima#abuse!'' and just made a strawman out of those people. and like i agree thats all stupid but it sorta hurts the message of the game#that the world is very nuanced and taking extremes is bad and reductive.#and this isnt getting into poor story and gameplay integration and other stuff like underutilized characters (you know exactly who i mean)#idk. again i still adore the story and have a huge soft spot for it. but i think the only reason people say its perfect is out of defensive#defensiveness and not having engaged with a ton of video game stories. and pokemon stories not being fantastic in general#like i think pla is better put together story wise than this game and its got less going on than this#echoed voice
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i cannot even describe to you guys how roier picking that song for qroier completely rewired my brain because it is so so painfully accurate to qroier in that moment
like lets break down the lyrics okay?
“i miss you more than ever and i don’t know what to do. i wake up and i remember you at sunrise. i wait another day to live without you. the mirror doesnt lie, i look so different. i’m missing you.”
already off the top wow. we immediately understand what qroier is feeling and i think the mirror line really hits because obviously he was looking like a fucking mess without cellbit so its all very accurate. also i cannot translate that last line “me haces falta tú” that really conveys the longing and sadness it signifies. its missing someone but in the way of saying like you’re missing them as a part of your life to live or as a piece of you like you’re missing them so you’re struggling to function.
“people come and go its always the same. the rhythm of life seems wrong. it was so different when you were here. yes, it was so different when you were here.”
people come and go reminds me of qroier talking about the eggs and the other islanders. people come and go But you were different. without cellbit everything is just wrong for qroier.
“there is nothing more difficult then living without you. im suffering in the wait of watching you return. the chills of my body ask for you. and i dont know where you are. if you hadn’t left me, i’d be so happy.”
i mean perhaps the most devastating part which isnt surprising as its the chorus which he repeats. i cannot put into words how life changing of a pick this song was for a cubito? for qroier? for mcrp of a queer relationship? THERE IS NOTHING MORE DIFFICULT THEN LIVING WITHOUT YOU? immediately we understand again what qroier is feeling hes very bluntly telling us. thats what makes doied saying he was fine without cellbit even more gut wrenching because cellbit never understood how fucking broken and unfunctional roier was without him. he struggled to fucking live. IM SUFFERING IN THE WAIT OF WATCHING YOU RETURN? every day cellbit was gone for roier it felt like hell. which is devastating cause as we know cellbit was under the perception that roier could finally be happy without him meanwhile roier is barely making it through the day having to take care of a new kid with reminders everywhere of his husband that left him behind. he is anything but happy. THE CHILLS OF MY BODY ASK FOR YOU? screaming. he misses his touch he yearns for his body warmth. do you think when he laid in their bed at the castle it felt as cold as ice? do you think he clung to cellbits side of the bed hoping to feel even just a fraction of the warmth and comfort he felt sleeping by cellbits side months prior? much to think about. AND I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? he’s again searching for him so desperately we saw the attempts qroier was trying his fucking best cause he made a promise to his husband and it was interrupted sadly. but i think the line of just saying i dont know where you are makes the song and the moment even sadder. all this talk of suffering without a person and you dont even know where they are right now. very accurate for qroier! IF YOU HADNT LEFT ME I’D BE SO HAPPY? no words just no words. you can suffer in agony with me in this one. think about it for a second and cry. no words.
does anyone ever think of spiderbit and how in love qroier was
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yesterday in vocal synth news
#art#traditional art#fountain pen ink#virvox project#mizusawa takuto#voicevox#ia#cevio#voisona#also miku is there technically kind of. shes down there#sorry im not a piapro or vocaloid user i was more focused on the other things LOL#looks neat tho! im very curious about the kaito and meiko remasters#i was always tempted and curious but im not a huge fan of the weakness of their v3s compared to their v1s#so i hope we get some demo videos or something soon. or if not i hope in a month people post lots of videos LOL#also intrigued by miku nt update and v6 ai. i have no interest personally in using miku but im sure it'll be interesting#gumi and galaco v6 sound pretty good in my humble onion so im very curious#but anyway. back to ME hjkfsjhjrfds im so excited for takutos voice#itll be cute seeing all the little skits the japanese fans make and for me specifically you KNOW im gonna get on that song shit#im gonna make.... the most bizarre boyband on earth. there is some manner of catboy. and a 50 year old man. it'll be great#maybe i'll remake the yume no tobira cover hee hee#and ia.... oh baby ia.... im so happy you have no idea man i have been WAITING FOR THIS. okay please dont kill me for this but like#highkey i dont really care for her original v3 LOL its not bad or anything i just find a lot of v3 fem vocals sound like the same person#and this was painful for me because like im a gigantic lia fan. i dont need it to be a 1 to 1 recreation or anything but like#i was always so bummed out how thin ia's voice sounded. it felt like a bit of a waste how much the v3 noise removed all lia's warmth#and like the depth of her tone. and like it sounds fine. she sounds like a slightly more operatic miku when people tune her high and breath#which is very common and that sounds fine. but like i still felt like auauuuuuuuuhhhhhhh nothing i loved about lia's voice is there#cevio 1.0 was a step up it brought back a LOT of warmth (although you had to really push up the alpha to get the depth)#and while i personally dont hate the cevio 1 noise its nice to have a version that no longer sounds underwater <3#she sounds so rich now.... i still bump up the alpha a bit because i like lia's deeper work a lot LOL but its wonderfullllllllll#so good so so so so good im obsessed. yesterday was truly an Event for vocal synth news
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theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh
#taylor.txt#im miserable primarily for other reasons right now but i dont think i appreciated how much this just…wouldnt feel like anything#i think especially in my case as someone who so desperately needed ‘going away to college’ to get out of my childhood situation#and now for the past 5 years everything ive done has been for the purpose of getting my degree and finishing school#like im fine i guess i just kind of wish i could feel proud of myself or happy its over instead of like dreading the ceremony and feeling#like everything i have to do for grad is just one more thing i have to check off a list. getting my grad photos done felt nice but idk#it kind of feels like no one really cares which. idk why i would expect it to NOT feel that way. but yeah#tl;dr im around Kinda…need to finish stuff up but im over the really busy part of this all. kinda just coasting to the end here tbh#when this is over i’m gonna get to my request fics. prommy. wanted to do them over the long weekend but i was sick :(#anyway like to be clear im fine. people have been pointing out today i seem down and i think embarrassingly a collection of my students#noticed me crying on the bus today but thats life i guess you make do. im sad and thats ok. tbh
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hmm thinking about the idea of love songs. i think the idea of what a love song is that we have in our culture is inherently a little bit flawed because we have the idea that any song written about romantic feelings is a love song and im thinking thats not exactly true because there is a difference between "romance" and "love". what i'm saying is not that love is a broader category and applies to things that are not romantic in nature. this is in fact true, but it's not what makes the important distinction here. the true distinction between "romance" and "love" is that romance is a societally defined type of interest in another person, whereas love is, essentially, a promise that you make when you build a relationship.
as such, what i call "love" here might be better defined as "care", as that implies more time and effort, but that's a different suitcase to unpack and largely unimportant to my point here, which is more about the societal conventions of what we call love songs. the point is, relationships can be built with other people, yes, but also animals, places, organizations, ideas, so on and so on, whereas romance requires another person, hence the difference between the ideas of "romance" and "love".
with that in mind, there are two types of songs we in western, english speaking, society call "love songs":
1) songs that are about a person's romantic interest in someone that is either definitively known to be unrequited (existing monogamous relationship, sexuality that doesn't align, etc) or simply not requited (aka romantic interest being unknown); and
2) songs about an existing relationship (keeping in mind my points about relationships not just being with people, but also places, things, etcetera) as is.
(some examples of the latter category: mountaintop by relient k, which defines the relationship in question as non-romantic; or i miss my mum by cavetown, which is - as the title implies - a song about the singer missing their mother.)
now, the thing that makes distinguishing these two difficult is the fact that songs about an existing relationship CAN be about wanting certain aspects of that relationship to change. in these cases, determining that a song is one or the other will hinge either on a) authorial intent or b) whether the song is more about what the singer wants (thereby implying #1) or the lack thereof in that relationship (which would imply #2).
to get back to the subject at hand: the term "love song", as we think of it, is an umbrella term that include both of these two categories, and i think that perhaps it is reductive to do so. with that in mind, i think perhaps it would be more appropriate for "love song" to mean only the latter, whereas the former is a category of its own. WHICH is not to say that the two can't overlap — just that if a song is about a person with whom the singer has no relationship, it cannot be considered a love song due to the fact that it is a song about infatuation, not love.
(another interesting wrinkle this provides is the fact that a song might start out in the first category and, as the writer develops a relationship with a person, might move into the second category as they write more.)
#anyway. just some of my thoughts on this as an aromantic songwriter#ari opinion hour#this goes a good deal to reconcile my constant writing of love songs with the fact that none of them are romantic#which im fine with as long as im keeping them to myself but it DOES feel dishonest when i hide that theyre love songs.#however this did also go some way to convince me that maybe care songs is an alternative that i SHOULD use because it is more applicable to#me than the concept of love which MOST people do not have the same perspective on as i do and having different definitions of the same word#is an important barrier to consider in communication#i will admit i do think im clinging to my care songs being love songs due to my relationship with an organization to which love is very#important as i dont want to go back on my promises to that organization as it IS very important to me#anyway. can you tell ive been reading house of leaves by the fact that this appeared fully fledged in my head in fully academic language#but for real like thinking about it now and even my old love songs like most would probably think to see them that they would go in the#first category and they just. DO NOT. at least not the ones that were written after i was like Yeah im aro again#its interesting the ones i wrote in the brief period where i thought i WASNT aro in like mid hs those i WOULD put in the first category#even though like i do NOT think i was right about it being romantic#but the ones after i was like Yea im aro again are like. Thats definitely the latter#part of it is i did find a voice that was like genuinely Mine and wasnt just writing sort of generic love songs#love songs in the typical usage i mean so they were really more infatuation songs#but like i was still with the last person irl who i wrote these about divorced from like... my aroness because of how much i liked him#and i would still put those in the second category#so part of it is awareness as well#so. yeah. its interesting#i probably should just suck it up and start calling them care songs. even if people dont know what i mean to say that
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what if i lost the will to live like. as a joke. what then.
#i am fine ftr im just. exhausted haha#NOT to overshare about my personal life too much but my dog is dying. my horse is being given back to his og owner this summer / fall.#my dads kicking me out in two years (in favor of his girlfriend and her kids bc he would rather live w them!!!)#his alcoholism is driving me crazy bc hes treating me like absolute shit and berating me constantly#and stealing from me 🙃#ive lost my healthcare benefits + now have to either raw dog therapy out of pocket or loose my therapist#a therapist that took me a year of being on a waiting list to get in w btw#and idk i just genuinely feel like a loser rn like. im a 23 year old unemployed fat virgin who plays video games all day like. 🧍#where is this going for me. what is the point of it all. in two years im going to be fucking homeless on top of all that#unless some miracle happens bc as is i am too disabled to work.#im just reaching a point where i deeply dont care anymore. whatever happens happens im done fighting it#and ik its the abandonment issues talking here but knowing my dad is planning on abandoning me. 👍#thats two for two on parents leaving me. my entire family has at this point so like truly i cant trust any relationship#like if my PARENTS find me that unbearable. and my best friend who knew me my entire life thought so. then truly every relationship#i ever have is on a fucking timer like. idk if any besties r reading this im sorry i promise this is in no way a dig at yall#bc you guys do really make me feel loved and secure in a way no one else has but. id be lying if i said i wasnt still scared#anyways enough oversharing#i really am fine and safe rn btw like. at minimum u guys r stuck w me until arc*ne season 2 comes out 😂#my post
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I miss nine and ten so bad I'm gonna be sick no one did it like them ever again ououuughhhh
#i think its because they took away the guilt.#im so serious the destruction of gallifrey carried this whole fucking show on it's shoulders and they fucked it up#11 was bad and 12 was fine but i don't really care idk#i really think it's because of the guilt#he was so so good and so hurt and so guilty of everything he'd done and he had this darkness that he himself feared OUUGHH#it feels like they minimized it so much in later seasons it's not even worth mentioning you know#ugh i need to finish 12's run and then 13#i really want to catch up and see the new doctor but I don't have high expectations bro i dont believe it will ever be as good#i CRIED for HOURS after the end of time 2 you dont even fucking understand me
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just finished s2 of de volta aos 15 after forgetting of its existence for a whole year and my only takes are that im SO glad joel got upgraded to deuteragonist this season bc hes my favorite boyfailure and also if anita and fabricio or whatever his name is are endgame i will literally huff paint and then kill myself in front of the writers he is her worst love interest. theres nothing wrong with his character i just do not care in the slightest about their dynamic
#de volta aos 15#back to 15#this season got me really attached to the cast and especially joel and anitas dynamic#i will be so crushed if nothing comes of their relationship#theyre literally intrinically tied to each other by the hands of time itself THATS ENDGAME#like you had a perfect trinity of endgame pairings joel/anita henrique/carol and luiza and her goth gf#WHY WLD U RUIN IT !!!???!???#do not get me wrong i dont mind fab as a character hes perfectly fine and i love his relationship w camila#but his relationship to anita is so irrelevant i often forget that its like. an option. like who cares#like do we not remember how much anita did NOT like the timeline where they ended up together😭⁉️ her ass is not into him im sawry
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how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)
#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on#either way#im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔#if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me#again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg#i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever#but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do#and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying#like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative#but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me#oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you#but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't#like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it)#i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable!#fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it#and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier#of my friendships#wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up#the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom)#i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a#'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order#not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i#may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me !#sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭#vee rambles
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